Dumb People Town - James Davis - Breaking and Delivering

Episode Date: August 30, 2022

This week James Davis comes to town to hang with Daniel, Jason and Randy. The first story is about the coolest(?) neighbor. The second story explores the parental desire to become grandparents. The final story is about the worst place to learn to drive.

Skypains Avenue Hey townies, welcome to another episode of Dumb People Town. Population you? Population Davis! James Davis. Population U. Population Davis. James Davis. Smooth as hell. Our buddy hung out in Montreal a little bit, which was great. You were fantastic up there.

Thank you. We are just such fans of yours. Randy, I were just telling Daniel, we just saw you at a show at Permanent Records here in LA. Not that we didn't like your stand-up before. I loved it. Loved it. I do feel Not that we didn't like your stand-up before. I loved it. Loved it. I do feel like you have taken a step in stand-up.

Maybe you're doing a lot more. Maybe you're figuring some things out. Every premise was tight. All the tags were killing us. So much so that we were like, let's add, let's see if we can pitch you some tags. We had one to pitch you, and I think you can answer it. And I have been running with it. Yes!

All right, it's so great. So we'll get into where people can see you. Most people probably recognize you from your amazing show, Hood Adjacent on Comedy Central, which was fantastic. You know, we did, if you remember, we did a great, you were doing a show on basically... Golf Pass. Golf Pass, which we've got a show on UFC Fight Pass,

so very much in the same sort of realm and area. It's their streaming service. But that was so much fun. We got to play a round of golf with you. Just goofing around. We played a hole. Where? Yes, we played a hole twice.

Where did we do that? Terranea. Okay. Down in Palace Bay. Par 3s. A bunch of Par 3s. The same place Tiger Woods was leaving. Yeah.

Because of the accident. That's right. He actually was there. He might have been staying there while we were shooting because I think he played around with spade the day before And Dwyane Wade he was shooting some stuff. Yeah, yeah crazy also like get a driver whatever anyway Your might hear Tiger Woods you should get four drivers in your bag. You should have one driver on the street Thank you. This is the guy who left the voicemail on the side chick's phone like, hey, it's Tiger. Don't do that.

His judgment off the course, not the same. He's always playing from trouble. He needs a life caddy. He's always in the rough. Hey, it's me. I'm looking at how this is going to lie. I'm thinking you take the passenger seat. You're going to want to take a different approach here.

That's really what they're going to say. Let's lay up. Let's lay up. How about you lay up in the passenger seat? Remember how your dad used to lay up in the top of his camper while you were chipping? You lay up in the passenger seat. So that is a great entrance into this podcast because even though Tiger Woods seems like a very smart guy, he does a lot of dumb things. This world has gotten dumber, and the way we explore it is the best way to do it is you send Daniel Van Kirk.

You tweet at Daniel Van Kirk on Twitter, hashtag Dumb People Town, a story. He goes through and he goes through the timeline. Who sent it first? Let's jump into one right now. Ready? Yep. Sent in by John Turone. Yes.

At Liquid Luncher. Solid handle. Liquid Luncher. I hate to disrespect like like mess up the structure of the show do it right yeah but it's dumb people town right right can I pitch the first story so do you have a story that happened to you no but it's a story out in sports that's dumb that's all recent so should we hold that for his patreon yeah let's hold it for your patron well

we'll say that for your patron but remember this moment because it will circle back as it was perfect for your Patreon. We'll save that for your Patreon. But remember this moment because it will circle back because it was perfect for this moment so it'll be a callback. Sure. Great. And if you haven't joined

our Patreon, join our Patreon. James Davis is going to now take this moment and spin it into a story that we will all enjoy. Hang on to that story. Okay, ready?

Yes. John Turone, at Liquid Luncher. Okay. Send this in first. Thank you. Headline is, uninvited stranger

hands out beer. Why is that a bad thing? Should be new friend in first. Thank you. Headline is, uninvited stranger hands out beer. Why is that a bad thing? Should be new friend. Right. If you're handing out beer, you're not a stranger anymore. That's right. That's my guy. That's my guy.

That's my buddy. If it's sealed. Right. If it's closed. Closed. You don't want like a bottle cap to be a little. Dead. Right.

No. Stranger. I'd still call him a stranger. Uninvited stranger hands out warm beer. Right. So now I don't know that guy. Wasn't this the premise of the Snoop Dogg Corona commercial or whatever? He was walking down the beach just handing out. Just handing out.

Sure. Hey, you look like you're going through something. I'm Snoop. Take a Corona. There you go. Have a Corona. Sorry to interrupt your seashell phone call. Have a Corona.

Right. Here, I'll take that chip back. Here's a Corona. Okay. An uninvited guest claiming to be a neighbor and admitting to being drunk. That's a level two. You're like, I'm drunk. I'm the neighbor.

I've never seen you around here. Arrived at a May 6th birthday party for kids in Peachtree City and began to hand out beers to the children. Okay. That's not good. All right. That's a stranger. That one left. that's not good. That's a stranger. That one left.

You now became a stranger. Now you're worse than a stranger. Now you're a threat. Now you're a predator. Or maybe you're a neighbor. Threaded her. You're annoyed by the kids, so you go over there and go, Oh, you want to get these kids wound up?

Here. Here, have beers. You're going to drive me fucking nuts. Get drunk. Who are you? I'm the neighbor. Do you think he was holding the 24-pack box? Under the arm?

Yeah, it's getting wet. Just rifling? Just kind of just dropping them out. Here, catch. To the kids hitting girls in the face. And they're not even paying attention, and he's yelling up top. Up top. Over their heads.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. At least he didn't bring them in a Capri Sun box sure that's sinister beers that he stuffed in a Capri Sun box kids come on gather around

he was at a birthday party for kids in Peachtree City and began trying to hand out beers but was quickly run off by a parent who had been alerted

by the kids also your parent like the parents should see this initially and do like this shouldn't have to be word. Who's by the pool? Right?

Who's giving out stuff to the kids? Do we know this guy? A Peachtree City officer on May 6th at approximately 10.01 p.m. It's nighttime. This is a late party for kids. Who's having a kids party at 10.01? How old are these kids? We're going to get there.

The kid was dispatched to a Tempest Drive residence at The Point at Lake Kedron, a subdivision in reference to a suspicious person. Quote, upon my arrival, the complainant stated that a white male subject with glasses I mean Okay. Way to be specific. Entered the pool area of a backyard

approximately 20 minutes ago. The complaint was hosting a birthday party for their how old child. Okay, what do you think? I okay what do you let you guess what age do you think it was like these kids need beers 1001 so there's a night party how old is beers all of the kids initially when I heard the story like first presented two seconds ago I thought like real little kids sure right that would be the funniest for me seven now but now we're at 10 p p.m at a pool yeah you know i'm thinking it's got to be 13 14 something like that 14. okay so i don't think you can go too old if parents are still

there and around at this party so i'm going to say like 11. okay my daughter is about to have her 15th birthday party uh but when this drops, it will have just happened or it would have happened a couple weeks ago. So I think 15, not to one. So you're saying you'll be present for that party? I will be there.

I'll be handing out beer. One of you is exactly right. Someone was like, $1. Well, no, this is it. One of us is right. So now we get to play the game who do you think is right?

Do you think it's you? Do you think it's me or do you think it's me? 15, 14, 11, 14, 15, who do you think is right? Do you think it's you, do you think it's me, or do you think it's Jay? 15, 14, 11, 14, 15. What do you think it is? Just because this is what I'm hoping, 11. Okay, great. So I think I'm right.

I'm going to say 11. I think James is right, 14. They were hosting a birthday party for their 14-year-old child. Oh! I got half a point. Believe in yourself. Believe in yourself. Several of the kids, ages 13 to 15, were in the pool when the can passing started, the

police report said. I don't even know what my daughter would do. An old-fashioned can passing. That's what it was up top. Yeah, hey. Float some over here, buddy. The officer was told the man had two packs of beer and started handing them to the kids. Remember, they don't even know this.

This isn't like somebody's drunk boyfriend or an uncle who doesn't give a shit this is a stranger no one knows a rando at your party i can tell you from kids this age like most of them would be like okay like they're just not gonna be like i i'm gonna tell this guy no right he's asking me to give it out but also that is a lot of them don't want the beer either like if 17 to 19 my kids don't like beer my kids i still don't drink beer. My kids are like, why do you drink this? Why in the world

do you drink this? I'm like, I don't know. He had two packs of beer. He stated that he was their neighbor and he heard they were having a party

so he decided to come over. So he thought he was a good time guy. Uninvited. Uninvited. Yeah, but party. So that means anytime you hear

people gathering, you feel like it's okay for you to come? I heard sounds. That's my maiden call. That's my cue. That's my cue. It's well documented here, so we don't want to go into details.

But you broke up a pool party next to your house, but they were loud and you weren't there to be a good time. No, I wasn't handing out beers. I walked in and I was like, can we shut this down? Or can we at least calm it down? I wasn't saying shut it down. I was like, calm it down. And of course, I went. There's two doors down for me. I walked in and the woman whose house it was, she was naked in her hot tub with people around her.

And she was wearing a sailor's hat. I'm like, they're not going to adhere to noise. My calm request is going to fall on deaf ears. So I swam for 30 minutes. So after I hopped in for a second. You tried to talk her down. I was playing, doing the long play. I'll be honest, you can't tell.

You can't even tell. They look. Let me just see how loud it is. And your wife calls you and is like, am I hearing your voice? Yeah, I was like, babe, come over. I'm trying to befriend these people so then I can ask. I'm Donnie Brosco-ing this thing. I've gone too deep.

At the same time, though, he crashed, but he brought party favors. He did, yeah. He didn't just crash and take. He crashed and brought. It's not a robbery. That's what we know. No. It's not a robbery.

It's a delivery. Yeah. It's a B and D. It's a a robbery. That's what we know. It's not a robbery. It's a delivery. Yeah. It's a B and D. It's a breaking and delivering. One letter over. He should have ditched the neighbor thing and been like, who ordered? Yeah. There we go.

Postmates. Uber drinks. Uber drinks. Here I am. Uber adult. Uber adult. Here I am. This is a quote from the report.

One of the kids told the subject that they were underage, and he continued to pass out the beer. He doesn't care. I heard you. Sure. One of the kids told the complaint who was inside what was going on. Yeah. The complainant stepped into the backyard, saw the subject, and yelled at him.

The subject stated that he was drunk, and he left on foot towards the entrance of the neighborhood. What are you doing here? Get out of here. I'm drunk. That's not answering any of my questions. That's how drunk you know they are. You know you got friends who are so drunk that you ask them a question and they answer another one. I'm drunk.

They answer another one. I don't care what she said. Hey man, you gotta get out of the bar. I'm drunk. Okay, well I'm still going out. Hey, man. You got to get out of the bar. I'm drunk. Okay. Well, I'm still going on. I'm drunk. I'm still laughing at how they're like, we're 14.

He's like, here you go. Yeah. It's Miller life. It's Miller time. In Wisconsin, that's legal drinking age. 14. If you're 14 with a legal parent or legal guardian, you can drink in any bar in Wisconsin. Or a stranger. Yes.

Or a stranger. Or mild. But that is wild. Where is this again? All of Wisconsin. parent or legal guardian you can drink in any bar in Wisconsin or stranger yes or stranger or mild that is wild where is this again Wisconsin and that's why we don't take a lot of shows there I'm not hitting the agents

like get me in Wisconsin except for one great club comedy on stage laughing tap in Milwaukee I almost reset my whole comment

because that's how much i love it's just a one so it's a so it's a bubble it's a tiny no if you hit up laughing tap in milwaukee it's new you'll love it yeah it's great okay uh the complainant didn't write was a drunk he went towards the neighborhood the complainant did not recognize the subject and stated he was not a neighbor right the area was checked but the suspect was not located which means he was an angel yeah he just disappeared right right that's delarese that's dead in another case peach tree city police on may 8th received multiple contacts from area residents in reference to receiving phone calls from an individual impersonating oh this is the thing i forgot about this story all sudden at the end of the story, they start telling another story.

You want to know about this neighborhood? Here's another crazy thing. It's not one of those where it's like a blotter. The whole thing is just about a guy handing out beers. That's the headline. That's what the article's about. Who quantum leaps somewhere else. And then all of a sudden they go, in another case, Peachtree City Police on May 8th received multiple contacts from area residents in reference to

receiving phone calls from an individual impersonating a Peachtree City police officer. There you go. The complainant stated that the caller informed them that money was owed to secure bonds against pending warrants. Unfortunately, this type of scam is more common than many would realize. Bottom line, law enforcement does not conduct this type of activity and always advises that citizens be wary of such scams. Never provide someone pretending to be an officer with personal information or money, either in cash or electronic. Hey, Steve, you're not combining two articles, are you?

No. All of a sudden. Oh, no. Right. So it's the same guy who did both things. Yeah, exactly. No, no, no. It's not the same guy.

We don't know. We don't know. You're putting it in one article? Yeah. Yeah. This article is about strangers in general. Strangers. Impeached.

It's just two chapters. They all are, Michael. They all are all are yes we don't know these people yeah all right that's story number one number one down in the books you know what though from his point of view he probably thought they're gonna love me yeah well I mean they're gonna like show up he's like I love alcohol yes and I have alcohol right they want to share love me who isn't gonna love right I would love this if someone came to my pool party like this that's like that was what he was thinking yeah yeah they complained about him he's probably somewhere complaining about them so we're like ungrateful maybe leave it but that's why i didn't move around here right thank you that's why i'm not your

neighbor that was him just looking if you wanted to live in there so i like to go to a neighborhood like a lot of people go around 10 a.m on on a Friday night for a party. I go late at night to see what the neighborhood's like. I'm looking. I'm an escrow. Maybe I don't want them. Yeah. What you learn about your neighbors.

I'm an escrow down the block and I just heard some sounds. Or just walk in if I'm your neighbor. How many people will they buy? It's such a huge investment especially where we live.

The rest of your life. How many people go there like, you know what, I'm going to go at night to see what the neighborhood's like at night. On Friday. I want to know what Friday night's like at a party. How many people go there like, you know what? I'm going to go at night. Just see what the neighborhood's like at night. On Friday. I want to know what Friday night's like. Nobody does that.

Or maybe people do. I don't know. I don't bring beer. I will bring beer. You know, you walk into an open house, they have sometimes cookies and stuff. I will bring beer. I'll bring the beer. Have you ever like, I've done where I've gone to an apartment.

If I see anyone else who lives in that building, I'm like, you like living here? Like, just start asking them. Absolutely. Sometimes they may love it, but they're so crazy that you go, oh, I don't want to live near you. Dan, what if you're like, you like living here? And they're like, so crazy that you go, oh, I don't want to live near you. Dan, what if you're like, you like living here? And they're like, yeah. You're like, well, it's not going to be for long.

And then you leave. I'll see you soon. I say, I'll see you soon. And then I leave. We'll see how that pans out. Keep looking over your shoulder. All right. That's story one.

That's story one. When we come back, we'll find out what James Davis is doing. We'll promote that. Promote the stuff we have going on. It's Dumb People Town. Don't go anywhere. Stick around. Make a sound. There's more Dumb People Town.

Hey guys, welcome back to DPT. Our show, The Nosebleeds on UFC Fight Pass. Has dropped its final three episodes. The first episode, if you want to watch it for free on UFC's YouTube page, it is Cheap Seats Rebooted. It is us making fun of the old weird footage in the UFC library,

running commentary. We do sketches. And Dan wrote on the show. It was fantastic. Jay Larson directed the sketches. Jay Larson who directed the golf pass. I have an unread voice message from Jay Larson in my phone right now. So listen to it.

That's how busy I am. You're very busy, and he's beautiful. And the work you guys did together. Great. I told you this up in Montreal. The pairing. Yes. I'm going to call it a short film about two guys who get paired together on a golf course.

I'm like, that should be entered in film festivals because the first one. The second one, you have to see them together. The first one, the second one, you have to see them together. The first one is the one. The first one is a, it's like a love story and a friend story and a buddy comedy all wrapped up

in about a six minute piece. It should be in black and white. It's so good. Your performances are great. The writing is great. Both of you have a turn. Both of you, like they say the best scenes

in movies are like when a character starts with one charge and ends up the exact opposite charge it's unbelievable where can people see that is that on

it might be on Golf Pass under the Connor Moore show if they have like past episodes find it I'm a high reviewer find it alright so

so that's us and then we're in Ann Arbor at the end of this end of September and I think this is gonna drop sometime at the end of August we're recording this the beginning of August but the end of August this episode's gonna drop and so think this is going to drop sometime at the end of August. We're recording this at the beginning of August.

But the end of August, this episode is going to drop. And so we'll be in Ann Arbor September 23rd and 24th at the Ann Arbor Comedy Showcase. But we are doing live Dumb People Town in October. October. 13th Nashville at the Hutton. The Analog Room. 14th in Chicago. At the Den Theater.

And then we're doing it on. We're going to skip the Saturday night because we're going to be in Norman, Oklahoma. I'll be in New York. You'll be in New York. But we're going to come back and we'll be at the Bell House in Brooklyn. So cool. Andrew Dismukes, Roy Wood Jr. and the band Cut Worms. It is going to be an amazing show. That's on Sunday.

The 16th. October 16th. Are you in there? I might be in New York by that time. Yes. All right. I have to pull up. My dude, roll up.

My dude. So anyway, it's going to be really fun and it's just anytime we do it at the Bell House, it is fantastic. I love that room. If you're in Hawaii, you've got to go see Daniel. Yeah, 8th, 9th, and 10th. I'm headlining in Honolulu. Go to DanielVanKirk.com.

Love it. James, what do we got going on September, October? How can people support you, follow you? It's kind of a downtime. Is it a downtime? A little bit. I don't really have any stuff on the books. I'm just, I'm in L.A.

I'm just performing around L.A. Just follow me at TheJamesDavis on my Instagram, and I'm all around L.A. That's what I'm doing. Please follow him and find out where he's performing, and you will thank us. I just love the new stuff you're doing. Yeah, we're just working on the new stuff, growing it.

Is it working towards a new special? Something, yeah, something. You have to. Your first special was on Comedy Central, right? Yes. So the hour that you had. The hour, yeah. Does that exist on ComedyCentral.com?

I think Comedy Central and also Paramount+. Great. Yeah. Watch the first hour. Can people go back and see Hood Adjacent? Paramount+. I love it. So the show is great.

Your stand-up special, first one, the Comedy Central one, is phenomenal. And I love all the new stuff you're working towards. Be James Davis on Instagram. Follow you. Be James Davis, please. I love it. Let's jump into another story, shall we? Let's do it.

Ready? Sent in by Carleen McDermott at SheBeCarleen. This woman sends a lot of love. SheBeCarleen. SheBeCarleen. What a great handle, right? I love it. Couple in India sue son for not giving them a grandchild.

Okay. I'm sorry. I'm on their side. What? I mean, listen. Is this another game of who's the asshole? No, it's just a grandchild. Okay. I'm sorry. I'm on their side. What? I mean, listen. Is this another game of who's the asshole? No, it's just a crazy-ass story. A couple in the North Indian state of...

Oh, man. I want to try. By the way, every grandparent out there, every parent of kid who is married... Uttarakhand? Every parent of kid who is married... Especially if you're married. It's like, come on.

If you're married, every parent is like, I wish I could do this This is like a wish fulfillment For every parent By the way this could be a great movie A legal drama She didn't give you guys any pressure to make her a grandma Did she?

I know But I'm glad we made kids We did it These two are suing their only son and his wife for not giving them a grandchild. Only son. After years of marriage. You have siblings? Nope.

I'm the only son. So you're the hope. And my mom, she's saying the same thing. No pressure. But I know it's like, no pressure. But if I got you a kid, you'd be like, ecstatically overjoyed. Exactly. I know I would raise her.

Your mom in LA? Yep. So she's close enough to be like i'm here i'm here yeah oh yeah no those questions happen all the time but you know yeah does it start with like the round the fringes like what's going on with you how you doing well i have a cousin who's like a sister like i'm very close and she has like two kids and so it's like it's just kind of like a i'm the only person in my like generation who's without kid i'm also the most successful crazy right period i poured time into that yeah you also are like we're in careers that we're

kind of married to i mean you have golf lessons and that's like having a look it is i i am somewhat you're nurturing your game off right now sanjeev and sadhana uh prad. Nicely done, Dan. Nicely done. I did 10 minutes there once. Did you really? That's magic. Sanjeev and Sadhana Prasad. They say they used up their savings raising their son, paying for his pilot's training, as well as a lavish wedding. Wow.

Look at these two. They are pissed. They are mad. They are freaking mad. Oh, my gosh. Also, not saying that there isn't stuff going on in India. There is, but this is newsworthy in India. There's a news microphone.

Two of them. Two of them. Two. Two networks. This qualifies as a press conference. Action News 7 Mumbai. We've got to get over here right now. They are demanding.

We have time for two more in the corner. A show was cut off for this. What happened to my story? We're live from the parents. Bollywood classics. We'll be back to that in a second. Mixed playoffs. We're interrupted.

We were standing by waiting for the parents to come up. They are demanding compensation if no grandchild is born within a year. This is like a reverse ransom. Sure. Their son and his wife do not appear to have commented on this issue. The highly unusual lawsuit was filed on grounds of mental harassment. These two parents who want to be grandparents. They're saying like.

So if you. They've been mentally harassed. They're saying we've been mentally harassed by our son. We won't give us a goddamn grandchild. So here's the deal. If you want to write the playbook on how to have your child shut you out of your life forever, they're doing it right now. Oh, yeah.

How did they— You better give me a grandchild or I'm going to sue you. You know what? We're going to have a grandchild and you're never going to see it. Never. Never going to see it. Mr. Prasad said that he had spent all his savings on his son sending him to the U.S. in 2006 for pilot training at a cost of how much? How much money do you think he said he's in just for his son to get his pilot license?

$100,000. $100,000? God. Like $50,000. I'm going to say $200,000. I bet it's like $50,000 a year for four years, whatever. He said a center of pilot training at a cost of $65,000. Still a lot.

$50,000. I said $50,000. We're in the ballpark. Still a ton. He returned, that'd be their son, to India in 2007, but lost his job, and his family had to support him financially for more than two years. I'm now starting to go. So sue him for that, not for the kid.

Right. Sue him for being a failure. You've got to pay back the pilots. So sue him for that, not for the kid. Right, yeah. Sue him for being a failure. You got to pay back the pilots. Shray, that's their son, Shray. Shray? Yeah, S-H-R-E-Y. I'm not mad at Shray. I'm not mad at Shray.

Shray. Shray sounds like the next basketball recruit, like the prospect. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Shray Williams. Shray Williams, five star. Actually, it's a cool full name. Shray Sagar.

Shray Sagar, five star out of Macon, Georgia. Seven foot with name. Shrey Sagar. Shrey Sagar, five-star out of Macon, Georgia. Seven foot with handles. Seven foot with handles. Seven foot with a handle. Just shoots everything from the outside but can put it on the deck. Also got drafted by the Phillies. He can't finish. Offer from Duke.

He's got an offer from Duke. He's also got an offer from a last year. What I like about him is he can finish with both hands. Sure. Shrey Sagar did eventually get a job as a pilot. Okay. His parents say that they then arranged his marriage to Shubhangi Sinta. That's the problem is you're going to arrange a marriage.

That's a lot of work. That's a lot of work. First planning a wedding is a lot, but then actually finding the bride to. Well, they said they did it in the hope that they would have a, quote, grandchild to play with during their retirement. So they don't care about the marriage. They don't care about the marriage. Return on our investment.

I just want to give you a hole to plug and then get me a kid. The parents say they paid for a wedding reception in a five-star hotel, and a luxury car, and a honeymoon abroad worth how much money? So how much do you think they're in for? 65K for the pilot's license. The wedding reception, the luxury car, and the honeymoon abroad. Luxury car feels like, why are we adding that in? The luxury car is like, what, an Uber Black?

Thank you. Oh, I take it back. I take it back. They're only giving the value of the luxury car. Okay. So a wedding reception at a five-star hotel, a honeymoon abroad, and a luxury car that is worth how much? So they bought them a car, so that's it. You know, a car to like fucking, I don't know.

These are bad investments. You got to get the Cialis. You got to get the pool. Two outdoor bathtubs. The lingerie. 12 foot, just like a year's supply of AstroGlide. How expensive of a car? Luxury car, I'm going to say $70,000.

Okay. Jay? Yeah, $50,000 say $70,000. Okay. Jay? Yeah, $50,000. $65,000. Again. A luxury car worth $80,000. Wow. No, luxury cars now are like, now the regular car is around like $50,000.

It's a supply chain issue, and that's what the son should say to the parents. Look, I can't get this kid for a bunch of years. COVID created a ton of supply chain issues. I no longer can have friends with my arranged wife. But they are still not planning a baby, Mr. Prasad said. You know why they're not planning a baby? Because you picked his goddamn wife for him. No, they love each other.

They love each other? There's nothing in this that says that they're not happy. So here's what I would love to see. What if they just said, we're trying? What if he threw her under the bus? We're trying and her shit doesn't work. Threw him under the bus. Say, mine doesn't work. We're trying. Just lie and say, oh yeah, I can't have kids.

Miracle. To me, in this day and age, if he was like, I'm having a ton of anxiety. Your pressure that you're putting on me is creating anxiety. By the way, I do this to my kids all the time. Can I tell the story about turning around on the first? My kids so my kids will at times be like, you know, they use all the language of like, you're making, you're not, if I get mad at them or something,

you're making me feel unsafe or like that. So then I just always turn around on them. Like when they're acting like assholes, I'm like, you're not creating a safe space for me to feel the way that I want to feel and use my feelings. I turn every single thing back around on them. And I know I don't really feel that way, but it feels so good to do that. Right. So parenting.

Yeah. So I was coaching my daughter's basketball team. Greg. Nice. I mean, we won like 46 to eight. The next game we won, came back from down like 15, 11, 117, 15 overtime. Not a big deal. A lot of people around Pan Pacific Park were calling me Phil Jackson.

Whatever. It's not a big deal. All of a sudden Jay's like, they were also minus 250 at tip-off, and I took them with the money line. Whatever. Like Phil Jackson has a triangle. I have the rhombus. It doesn't matter.

I'm doing my thing out there. And we're having a great game. And I want to say this about myself. Winning time. Winning time. And I want to say this about myself. Winning time. Winning time. And I am so encouraging to every kid. We've got two great kids on the team. Every time out, called time outs even to be like, okay, you got your points.

You got your points. We got this game. I want her to get points. I want him to get points. Let's share the balls. You come down. You get open where you can do it over there. Guys, we can do this.

Guys, let's get the ball to her. I love what you're doing out there, guys. guys whatever we have boys and girls on our team one of the mom the moms of one of the girls comes up to me oh goodness and she's like and by the way we preface this by saying we are the most open to i'm so much i'm super inclusive and everything everything but i she comes up to me and she's like, hey, thank you for coaching the team. But I know something else is coming behind that. Here comes the button. And she's like, but your language around the way you're addressing the team is not encouraging to my daughter because you keep saying guys.

Hey, guys. And you need to use non-gender specific. Can you use something like, hey, players? Hey, players. You can do that. Hey, players. You've got this. Can you use something like, hey, players, hey, players, you can do the, hey, players, you've got this. So he'd tell me this. Hey, friends. I mean, persons.

Kids. Hey, everybody. So I said, thank you. This is where y'all is great. Hey, y'all. I didn't know what to say, and I was like, okay, well, I'm glad I was. This is what I said to her. I'm glad I was able to fill in for the coach who was coaching another team,

and I'm glad I was able to volunteer my time so that we had a coach for this game. That's what I said to her. That's what she said. She was like, okay, and I'm like, I'll work on your – I'll work on trying to use more inclusive language. That's good of you. I can't guarantee it. I can't guarantee it.

But I said I can't guarantee it. But you also heard her. You heard her. I did, but I also felt like it was way too much. The worst thing. So Randy said the next time she says that. Next time she says anything to you. Hey, so can I talk to you for one second?

I just want to give you a little bit of feedback, and you can take this however you want. But the way that you're approaching me is making me feel unsafe as a coach. Yes. And not able to coach. So when I'm spending time questioning my language choices, then that doesn't give me the time to teach the children and give them encouragement in a proper way. So I'm stuck in my head. And as a result, I'm not giving the kids what they need. And I feel like your imposition on me is going to take away from other kids

experience on the team and so now you've created a situation that's really unsafe for me I'm going to say that I'm going to say that I would say but you and all the other parents you guys are great just this one

you guys are great I love what you guys got I honestly This is how crazy I am I would probably Sorry Miss If that's okay

Dan I would say I hear you And I will I swear to God I will take Or Allah However you

And then I'm like Everything's an egg shell I go I will take into account Everything I just need to know Your daughter Told you she feels this way

Or you feel this way about music? Because if your daughter is like, I don't like when he calls us guys, I'm still going to hear it. If you're telling me you don't like when I call them guys, I'm still going to hear it. Can I just know the pathway? I'm still going to hear you either way. I just want to really know the pathway.

I think she needs to spend like 30 more seconds on me coaching her daughter on how to instead of dribbling the ball out as soon as she gets it under the basket turn around and put it right back up and then she did and then she scored for the first time right in her life in a game and i was like all right jay let's get back to this story sorry this is crazy that guy scored that guy that guy the best. You take her child out immediately. Bro, you scored. That dude's cleaning up the class. Sons who are married for years, they're not planning to have a baby. At least if we have a grandchild to spend time with, our pain will become bearable.

Like the pain that they've spent on this kid or the pain of retirement. They're like, we're going to have some pain. The couple's lawyer. But don't you like that they're like, we're not going to have, they're realistic. They're not like, we're not going to have any pain. We're going to have pain that's bearable. Ready for this lawyer?

The couple's lawyer, A.K. Shrivastava. Cochran. He's got a rhyme for everything. If the condom fits, you must acquit. They told the National that the couple- If the condom fits, give us kids. If the condom fits, we must not acquit because you don't want a condom on there. They told the National that the parents, the would-be grandparents, demanded the money, quote, because of mental cruelty.

Cruelty. It is a dream of every parent to become a grandparent no it's not they had been waiting to become grandparents no it's not i'm gonna ask you how many years have these parents been waiting to be grandparents what do you think well how many years do you think it's been since their son got married in order for them to believe they can't a luxury car a honeymoon 65k on pilot's license 65 000 on a pilot license they let him live with him until shrey got his own job how many years do you think he's been married and they were like well now we're

suing his ass three three that's right i love that so petty i was gonna say ten but ten i would say seven okay they've been waiting six years. That's not much. Six years. That's not much. Come on. I mean. It is, but it isn't.

They're 61 and 57. That's how old the grandparents are. Oh, okay. Relax. Jay's 50 and his eight-year-old's not. Relax. Relax. Come on.

Relax. Unless you think you're going to die soon. But it is. I'm not a grandparent, so I don't know. My kids aren't in the range to have kids, so I don't know how I will react. So I'm going to allow for me not to know. But I'm like, that's not everyone's choice. It's not everybody.

You reach that age and I think it's like, don't you want to just live your life? By the way, we have friends that are like, I don't want kids. And I'm like, I understand that. I understand you. I understand. And in many ways, your understand that. I understand you. I understand. And in many ways, your life will be better in a lot of ways. And in a lot of ways, your life will be worse. It's just a choice.

It's like, I don't care. I mean, and. Well, everybody should have kids or not have kids for themselves. I think it's. But certainly don't have kids for somebody else. Oh, my God, no. To me is like is going to start to be like college. College is so expensive that I think some people are going to be like,

why do I even go? I'm going to go do this. I don't need to jump into the system because everyone's saying I got to do it. And I think more and more people will be like, I accept that. Well, we're going to end here. How much do you think these people

are suing their kid for? That's a good question. The thing is, if you don't have a baby within a year, we are suing you for this much money. Half a million. Half a million. Yeah, yeah. They're going to recoup what they want. I suing you for this much money. Half a million. Half a million. They're going to recoup what they want. I'll say a quarter

of a million. I'll say $150,000. They just want to get both the luxury car and the pilot's license back. That's $145,000. They need enough money to buy a baby on the black market. That's it. Actually, they need to buy a new kid, and then they need that kid to have a baby.

Plus the hitman money for killing their son. Sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Dude, you're just thinking of everything here. And the wife. Half a million.

We'll get out of here on this number. Guess wherever you are, Townies, because this would-be grandparent couple is suing their son for $650,000.

Oh, dude! You were right! These people are crazy. They are crazy. Wild. Just say, pay me back for the pilot school. That's it. Here's my final conclusion on this couple.

They're very unhappy. First of all, who needs a baby to play with? To be less sad. They're already depressed, and they just want a baby. And they're horrible parents. Foster. Foster a baby. If you need a baby.

You'll be grandparents for a while, and then somebody else will hopefully – Foster a baby if you need a baby. Their parents will get back on their feet, and they'll take it back. I mean, this must be about their lineage. Like, we got to keep the line going. It must be. Because here's the thing. They did a good job, but they don't see it that way.

Right. It's like your son's a pilot. He's a pilot. Sorry. Kids are expensive. Parenting is 100% about I want this outcome to be the outcome and then it's going to be something else. That is the first lesson. When you go to have a birth plan and they're like, we're going to be in water and we're going to do a natural birth and there's not going to be anything.

And then the second the pain starts coming and the doctor's like, we got to do a C-section because this baby's pointed in the wrong direction. That's it. That's the lesson number one. You wanted it this way. It's coming the wrong direction. That's it. That's the lesson number one. You wanted it this way. It's coming out this way. That's parenting. That's what it is. These people don't get it.

I don't know how they get it. You're parents. Isn't parenting just, in definition, a financial loss? Yes. All the way. Off top. You take it out. You don't get it back.

You don't ever get it back. Since before they're out. That's right. Before they're born, you're already taking financial. I know. What world are they in? Would you ever buy a crib otherwise? Dan, do you have a crib in your house?

No. Okay, that's it. My place isn't even a crib. Yes. Yeah. So like having kids is like owning the Carolina Panthers. You're just taking an L and you're like, it's entertainment, I guess, for a while. Because you love the Panthers.

Because you love the game. You love the Panthers. Yeah. And you're like, we entertainment I guess for a while because you love the Panthers because you love the game you're like we need a team here in this town it's like that's what I need a tax write-off and that's what it ultimately becomes a dependent story to story to for patreon fans James Davidson has a close circle a sports related story that if you're listening to this you're

going to know it as so dumb stuff and last segment what do we got oh just bad driving. Okay, great. We'll be right back with more Dumb People Town right after this. Stick around. Make it sound for more Dumb People Town. All right, guys.

Before we dive in a little bit further, we always love to shout out our Patreon fans. We love you guys. Shout you out individually. Thank you for supporting us. Let's jump into some names. Dan, you ready? Ready. You want me to do one?

Go for it. Amanda Tholk. Tholky. Tholky? I'm going to go. I say Tholk. If they live in Wisconsin, it's Tholky. It's Tholky.

I say Tholk. What a great collection of L-K-E. That's such a great. You don't see that. Three constants in a row. Thalk, love, and thunder. All right, you ready? Daniel.

She's a true local, by the way. Ready for this next one? Yeah. You ever look at somebody's name and know they bet on sports? Yeah, this guy. Woody Meacham. Woody Meacham. Woody Meacham is your dad's friend who he played football with.

He gets all the bets in for him. He's a legendary basketball coach in a small town. Hey, you know who you've got to drop off after dinner tonight? He's going to comfort you, but you've got to drop him off at home. He's going to drink. Woody Meacham. He is a legendary basketball coach who one time threw a chair at a baby. And you know what?

Everyone agreed. You ready for the next one? Melissa Raffalo. Raffalo? Raffalo. I loved her in You Can Count On Me. I can count on her. She's a townie. Melissa Raffalo. Townie. Mike Caffalo. I loved her in You Can Count On Me. I can count on her. She's a townie.

Melissa Raffalo. Townie. Mike Cullen. Mike Cullen. Cullen. Good Irish name. Dude, Mike Cullen. Mike Cullen's going to be there.

Mike Cullen's going to be there. Mike Cullen's going to be there. It's going to be fun. It's going to be fun if Mike Cullen's there. This is what the waitress says to you after you make your order. You want Evan Fritz? That's it. Evan Fritz.

Who, by the way Pillar of the community Evan Fritz How do we double deck On another Mike Cullen I don't know Can't be Mike Cullen Mike Cullen

Maybe Mike left for a bit And came back Evan Fritz Happy to have you Mike Dude Evan Fritz Can I tell you I love you Fritz's root beer

Is my favorite Fruit beer F-R-I-T-T-S Love you bud Thank you so much Like it should be T-Z But he went T-T-S I love it

So as we said Mike Cullen Was the next one. And after that, we got Matt. Mark who? Marco. Marco. Marco. Matt Marco.

Mark Coney plays the mamba. Matt Marco. Listening to the radio. Don't you remember? We built this city. All right. How about Karen Genge? Genge.

Genge? Genge. Genge. Genge. Genge. Genge. Genge. Genge. Genge. Genge. Genge. Genge. Genge. Genge. Genge. Genge. Genge. Genge. Genge. Genge. Genge. Genge. Genge. Genge. Genge. Genge. Genge. Genge. Genge Karen Genge? Genge. Genge? Genge. Genge. Genge. Genge. Genge. Could be Genge. If it's Genge, she's already a grandma.

Or that's the name that your daughter gives her little stuffed animal monkey. Genge. Did you bring Genge? Yeah, you're right. I didn't bring it. It's like, no, we don't have it. If this was nine years ago, you know what we'd be saying? Whoop them gangi style.

Don't you dare. All right, ready? R-F. A-R-F. A-R-F. R-F? R-F. R-F.

R-F. True local. Love you, R-F. I'm going to go Meg B. It's my favorite Spice Girl who didn't make it into the Spice Girl. Is that really one of them? No. Mel B.

That's Mel B. Meg B, tell me. Meg B is ours. This next one is a barrister. I think it either is a man or woman. We don't know if it's a man or woman because it's a name. It's Mark of Barris. It's Courtney Ultrabold.

Courtney Ultrabold who wears the barrister wig out to go shopping. That's right. All right. Kristen Shake. Shake, shake, shake, shake. Shake, shake, shake. Kristen Shake. Kristen spelled so many different names in our world.

So many different ways. All right, ready? Amy Mohur. Mosher. Mosher? Mosher? I'm pretty sure her last name is a name in the Lord of the Rings. Grab the ring, Mosher. Amy Mosher Mosher Mosher Mosher Mosher Mosher Mosher Mosher Mosher Mosher Mosher Mosher Mosher Mosher Mosher Mosher Mosher Mosher Mosher Mosher Mosher Mosher Mosher Mosher Mosher Mosher Mosher Mosher Mosher Mosher Mosher Mosher Mosher Mosher Mosher Mosher Mosher Mosher Mosher Mosher Mosher Mosher Mosher Mosher Mosher Mosher Mosher Mosher Mosher Mosher Mosher Mosher Mosher Mosher Mosher Mosher Mosher Mosher Mosher

Mosher Mosher Mosher Mosher Mosher Mosher Mosher Mosher

Mosher Mosher Mosher Mosher Mosher Mosher Mosher Mosher

Mosher Mosher Mosher Mosher Mosher Mosher Mosher Mosher

Mosher Mosher Mosher Mosher Mosher Mosher Mosher Mosher

Mosher Mosher Mosher Mosher Mosher Mosher Mosher Mosher Mosher Mosher Mosher We have an F basketball group. Did your kids go through Nerf phases? Oh, dude. You know the Nerf story of our house. Wait. Can I tell you right now that my kids both want, my son wants to throw a baseball every day for like an hour.

Dude, I wish I had him. Where did that come from? It's amazing. And I'm like, yes, I'll do this. What are we, in the natural? So here we go. F-Cone. Let's let Jeremy Bayons be Bayons.

Bayons. Let's let Bayons be Bayons. Okay. Jeremy Bayons. How about Brett A. Snodgrass? Feels like a fake name. No, that is a Willy Wonka flavor. Brett A. Snodgrass? Feels like a fake name. No, that is a Willy Wonka flavor. This is how I sign all my checks.

Brett A. Snodgrass. This tastes like Snodgrass. Brandon Harrington. Brandon Harrington III. I know this. Reads a newspaper every day. Full newspaper copy. Knows how to do the fold.

In the wind. Billy Burford. Billy Burford. Burford. Billy, I appreciate that you're Italian, but that name is made to be in a dumb little town story. Billy Burford ran for several miles. The perpetrator, Billy Burford. Billy Burford ran blindfolded.

The next name is a group of people, Michael Shondary. Michael Shondary. Have you been to the Michael Shondary? They're milking all the cows, and they all show them the inconvenient truth as they milk them. Michael Seen Dairy. All right, Sarah Hansen. Sarah Hansen. Sarah Hansen. Sarah Seen Dairy. There we go. All right, Sarah Hansen. Sarah Hansen.

Sarah Hansen. Sarah Hansen. It feels like it goes twice. Do-ma-do-ma-do-ma-do-ma-do-ma-do-ma-do-ma-do-ma-do-ma-do-ma-do-ma-do-ma-do-ma-do-ma-do-ma-do-ma-do-ma-do-ma-do-ma-do-ma-do-ma-do-ma-do-ma-do-ma-do-ma-do-ma-do-ma-do-ma-do-ma-do-ma-do-ma-do-ma-do-ma-do-ma-do-ma-do-ma-do-ma-do-ma-do-ma-do-ma-do-ma-do-ma-do-ma-do-ma-do-ma-do-ma-do-ma-do-ma-do-ma-do-ma-do-ma-do-ma-do-ma-do-ma-do-ma-do-ma-do-ma-do-ma-do-ma-do-ma-do-ma-do-ma-do-ma-do-ma-do-ma-do-ma-do-ma-do-ma-do-ma-do-ma-do-ma-do-ma-do-ma-do-ma-do-ma-do-ma-do-ma-do-ma-do-ma-do-ma-do-ma-do-ma-do-ma-do-ma-do-ma-do-ma-do-ma-do-ma-do-ma-do-ma-do-ma-do-ma-do-ma-do-ma-do-ma-do-ma- Martin Gale. Not Martin Dale. Pillar of the community. Matthew Martin Gale has hosted three game shows. Matthew Martin Gale is the title of a children's book. He hosted all the game shows when Wink Martindale couldn't do it. Matthew Martin Gale. Thank you, guys. Thank you, guys, for supporting our show. We love you guys.

We'll keep shouting you out, and let's get back to the show. Boom. All right, Daniel, take us home. Ready? Yes. Send it by Ashley at HereForTheDumb. Ashley's great. Obviously, she created this Twitter account just to send us stories. Amazing.

Love her. HereForTheDumb. And she also had t-shirts made for my other podcast I do with Rory Pen Pals, and I met her at the Salem show. Ashley, thank you. Thank you, Ashley. Woman. So many things wrong with this headline.

Okay. Woman learning to drive in cemetery knocks over headstones. Nope. What's wrong with a parking lot? Yeah. You need it curvy, windy on a gravel dirt road? Hey, I'm trying it. My daughter, my 17-year-old daughter has not learned how to drive yet.

Where are we going to take her? Like a Costco parking lot when it's M-400? Let's just drive over the dead, okay? Also, every cemetery's roads meander they're terrible it's there's never it's always like you're not supposed to teaching her her her dead grandpa is a ghost in the car you're here with me people should i make a left learning to drive can be a bit of chat can be a bit challenging for some people and practicing in an empty parking lot is popular that's what I did with my godson.

That's how I did it. That's what you do. Hollywood Park parking lot. Me and pops. Yeah. Just drove around. I also learned up in Wisconsin on straight roads. I was 15 and hammered.

Oh, my God. Jesus. I was not hammered. Someone handed you a beer at a party? Yeah. You were with an adult. A stranger handed you a beer? Got in a major car accident.

Learning to drive can be a bit challenging for some people and practicing in a parking lot. So there isn't anything to hit by accident when you do that. But what about practicing

driving in a cemetery? Probably not the best idea is what they wrote here. Police were called to the Wyoming Cemetery in Melrose, Massachusetts. That is for? Wyoming Cemetery

in Melrose, Massachusetts. We don't know where this is. Wyoming, California, Melrose, Massachusetts in Melrose, Massachusetts. We don't know where this is. Wyoming, California, Melrose, Massachusetts. Melrose, Massachusetts. And Calabasas, Rhode Island. Right. Melrose, Massachusetts sounds like a town they made just for people in WITSEC. Like it's just a WITSEC town.

They were in South Central Idaho. Right. This happened in Melrose, Massachusetts on Saturday around 2.30 p.m. after a woman was learning to drive and crashed the car, according to the Melrose Police Department. The woman was driving an older model Range Rover. Also, that says Melrose. Sure.

That does say Melrose, Massachusetts. That's 90s, 80s. But older model. Like, how beat up is this Range Rover? And knocked over how many headstones? Oh, my God. Well, here's the thing. Because if you're going to practice driving in a cemetery, you got to go to the no shade, the cheap plots.

The flat ones. You know what I'm saying? The humble plots. The humble plots. I used to be a grave digger. Yeah, you can't go over to the Vanderbilt section. You know what I'm saying? No, like, there's freaking mausoleums over there.

Exactly. go over to the vanderbilt section you know like no freaking mausoleums over there exactly we had paupers and you would have to find their bones so you didn't start digging a grave there when i was a grave digger because they're so on top of each other there's nothing there they're paupers so there's no headstones there's no anything so you have this long rod with handles at the top you put it down into the ground and you turn it to look for bones what yeah it's like an archaeological dig yeah kind of it's great. But go drive over there. Go over there. Because if you're hitting headstones,

you are driving over graves. You're off the road. You're off the road. By the way, is she driving at night too? No, this was at 2.30 p.m. Jesus Christ, this person sucks. How much is the annex? So the sun was out so that she could see other places

where she could be doing this? They're probably having a funeral. Exactly. There's so many prizes. having a goddamn Ave Maria. I'll get the car. Wait, so how many headstones? How many things she knocked over? Four.

Okay. Six. Okay. Three. Okay. She knocked over eight headstones. Wow. In the cemetery.

Dude. After one, I get it. Like, whoa. One, you stop the car, you get out, and you go, someone else, drive. Sure, but certainly after two. After two, it's not an accident anymore. This is how you drive. She's just plowing through them.

This is just a mass, like. This is like, I care less about these families. Here's a picture of one of them. Oh, my God. She's hitting these stones. She's nailing them. Yeah. By the way, an old school Range Rover is built tough.

Yeah. No, it's meant to knock over stuff. She's going off roading. An old school Range Rover is a Land. Yeah. No, it's meant to knock over stuff. She's going off roading. An old school Range Rover is a Land Rover. That's right. You know what I'm saying? They're meant to deal with lions. They're meant to drive over.

Safari. Yes. Safari mobile. Yes. They're going to drive over headstones. She knocked over eight headstones in the cemetery. Luckily. She's going to have some paranormal activity.

Thank you. Thank you. This is the beginning of a poltergeist. She's disturbed people. This is where we built the house on the Indian burial ground. And that. This is the beginning of a poltergeist. This is where we built the house on the Indian burial ground. This could have been the reason that Stranger Things

happened. This opened up the portal. You piss off eight different ghosts who know eight other ghosts probably. They've all been hanging out. They've been hanging out. Can you believe they did this? Come with me. It's not like you did it in your house.

No. You went to their house. Right. It's like Ian Edwards' joke. Like you're swimming in the sea, you're trespassing. Trespassing. Trespassing. If you get bit by a shark, you're trespassing.

That's his joke. And that's right. You went to their house and you drove over their shit. Their door. Luckily, the Department of Public Works came to the scene of the accident and helped lift the headstones back upright, even though a number of them were damaged. You got to pay for that, girl. She currently has her learner's permit and was with a relative in the car who has a driver's license.

Neither of the people in the car were injured in the accident. Of course not. Yeah, they're not injured. You just ruined the- How fast are you going? Like 35. She maybe tried to hit the brake and hit the gas, I think. Any one of your kids driving yet? So my 17-year-old does not want to drive. I'm like, 35. She maybe tried to hit the brake and hit the gas, I think. Any one of your kids driving yet?

So my 17-year-old does not want to drive. I'm like, please learn. I will teach you. And she's like, I got to take French over the summer. Meanwhile, my son is 13 and a half, and he's like, I can't wait to drive. I can't wait for your son to drive me. I cannot wait. Do you remember like, I haven't picked me up?

I was driving ball carts like at 12 and 13. I can't wait to drive. How about your birthday? Making your dad take you, or mom and dad take you. When we turned 16, before school, we're like, take us for the test.

Take us for the test. We're going to do this before school. And then we roll up into school with the papers and look what we got. We got it. It was great.

It was a great feeling. But that's how much we wanted to do it on our actual birthday. But my daughter's like, nah, I don't know. You learned in parking lots? Yes.

Parking lots. Bank parking lot nearby us. It was wide open. And then parking lots and then there was like an apartment complex near our house that had drive-thru. And then there was why and then parking lots and then there was like an apartment complex near our house turns turn there was streets and stop signs and like no cars and then there was like a graveyard we just kind of

yeah more through they don't care where you drive on those things we said that she likely lost control of the vehicle then crashed into the headstones yeah the most police department is currently investigating the accident. Lori, Lori, Lori. Did she lose control of the vehicle? Or did someone take control of the vehicle? Dude, this could be paranormal activity. Don't be driving this in here. How old do you think the woman was

who was learning to drive? Learner's permit. But she don't have... Maybe she's a woman. Eight headstones. Worth. Eight headstones. Eight headstones. I mean... I'm going to tell you, it's not a teen. Not a woman. Eight headstones. Worth. Eight headstones. Eight headstones.

I mean. I'm going to tell you, it's not a teen. Not a teen. Not a teen. So there's someone who's getting a license later in life, which is a thing now. Oh. And hit eight. Hit eight.

I'm going to say 32. Okay. 32. 47. 47 from Jason. Someone who just went a long time without driving. Yeah. I was like, yeah, I need this.

She's 29. 29. 29. jason someone who just went a long time with yeah i was like yeah i need it's 29 29 the woman in an older model range rover who went parading through a cemetery rushing like rushing headstones fucking fast and furious i mean you know jay and i went to a truck and tractor pull and saw the grave digger this is the original grave she's the grave break the grave breaker. By the way, we also in Buffalo went to Rick James' grave, which was unbelievable. I didn't know he was buried in Buffalo. I'm like, that should be on the airport.

Yes. It should be like, welcome to Buffalo. Is it a cool headstone and shit? It is cool. It's kind of cool, but it's not. It's got like an image of him on it. And then people put a ton of shit around it, like Mardi Gras beads and all this stuff. Lays.

I'm like, yeah, because no one repped Hawaii more than Rick James. Why are there lays on this? Because it's a party. I'm like, what blew in here from the highway versus what was artfully placed here? Which I'm like, that's the best tribute to Rick James' party. Any Rick James party, you're like, what blew in here from the highway and who was invited? At a Rick James party, a stranger's passing out beer. For sure.

Two kids. We stood there and we sang she's a super freak she's a super freak super freak she's super freaky amen okay the woman is we'll get out of here on this great show today is 53 years old you were right i called it i knew knew it. 53. Oops. Oops. Okay, we're fine. Oops. I'm good. I'm good. Maybe she was sick and she was looking for places.

Sure. Yeah. I want to be buried around now. At 53, she might be headhunting exes. There's people in there that she might actually know. I got the wheel now. You're dead, and I don't care, and I've got the wheel, and you've got nothing to say.

Jesus, take the wheel. Don't take it. I got it right now. It's 2.30, and I want revenge. That's it. Revenge. That's the show. That's the show, James Davis.

You're the best. I'm so happy you came on. Follow me, James Davis, on social media. James Davis. It's all the same. Follow him. Do it. Go see Daniel Van Kirk in Honolulu.

Go see us. We're going to do the Dumb People Town tour. And then check out The Nosebleeds on UFC Fight Pass. And the first episode is up for free on UFC's YouTube page. You guys will love this show. It's Cheap Seats 2.0. You'll love it.

We love you guys. And oh shit, we've got to get back to work. Boom. boom dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum stick around make a sound

on your down it's dumb people town Star Bands Audio a podcast a podcast network