Fairy Tale Fix - 38: Thems The Rules

Episode Date: March 1, 2022

Abbie and Kelsey kick off a month of Irish fairy tales! Abbie tells two stories about the importance of following fairy rules: A Donegal Fairy and Taken. Kelsey tells the tale of a puckish Pooka in The Pooka and the Piper.

Okay. Here we go again. Here we go. Episode 38. I'm Kelsey. Welcome to Fairy Tale Fix. I'm Kelsey. And I'm Abby. And this is the show where we take classic folk and fairy tales from around the world and then give them their appropriate happy ever afters, or not so happy ever afters, or job training for the future so that they can make their own happy ever afters. Job training is a witch. We're back to read each other fairy tales and go, what? Excuse me? That was the story decision you made when you were writing this? Drunk man at a tavern, I'm assuming. Drunk man at a tavern, yeah. Old woman churning butter. Churning butter. Darning shirts. This is what you went with? You know, I shouldn't be too harsh, though, because storytelling, just off the top of your head, I feel like is a skill. Whenever I am giving the, you know, spark notes for these stories, I definitely, it's

difficult to tell a good story. Like, it's a skill that you have to learn or you have to have. a good story. Like it's a skill that you have to learn or you have to have. It's absolutely an art and a craft. And especially if you're improvising any parts of it, you have to be crafty and on your toes and just genuinely have good ideas. And there are bound to be some duds in there, which is why we come in and fix it. Yep. Like, you had me until this part. And then we naked. You had me until the king just came and plucked her out of her tree.

Plucked her out of the woods. Just, hey, you're coming with me. And she's like so traumatized by her horrible life. She's just, okay. The end. No further anything ever. But we're possibly doing something different today. I'm doing something different today.

I don't know about your story, but it's March. And so we're doing pretty much just Irish fairy tales, I think, for the rest of the month, which they usually end up being, in my opinion, fairly satisfying with how they end because it usually ends with the person, the protagonist in question did all the right things and then is rewarded somehow, or they did something very obviously super rude to someone they shouldn't have been rude to and they are justly punished. And I really like that about Irish fairy and folktales. Yeah. Irish fairy tales or something else it's also it's a little fun it's a little funny recording today because I think Kelsey and

I are in completely opposite moods where Kelsey we're we're a bit of a grumpy sunshine pair at the moment because Kelsey is over there like trying to smile herself into a better mood. And I am full of incandescent joy and verb for life at the moment. Why? Why are you so happy? Several reasons. But the biggest reason is I have been watching the latest season of Queer Eye that came out on Netflix. And it's just hours and hours of these five incredible gay people healing the hearts of America. And it makes me so happy. The episode I just watched is they just give a trans girl gender euphoria the entire episode. It's an entire episode of this girl catching a glimpse of her reflection in the mirror and bursting into joyful tears.

Oh, that is really sweet. Oh my God. It was so heart healing. It was beautiful. It filled me with joy and energy. And I love all human beings and the earth. Maybe that's what I need to do after this to get myself just back up. I highly recommend it. Yeah. Before we started recording, I let Abby know I'm in a just foul mood, you know? And I think a lot of it has to do with I had to get a new phone. And that's never – you know, I don't know.

Some people get excited about new stuff. I do not. Like, I have to figure out this whole new phone. And this phone, it's new technology. It doesn't have the aux cord. And I just listen to music and podcasts constantly. So now I can't use my favorite earphones. And I got some new ones that are supposed to be nice, but they just keep falling out of my ears.

And they're super uncomfortable. And I hate them. And they're the only ones that work with my phone because I have to use Bluetooth now. And it's this whole thing. And I'm just old and really grumpy about new technology and the businesses that made this decision that lead that led to me having to pay a ton of money for new earbuds when I have ones I like already you know I like the cord that like I like the wire because you you're cleaning or you're vibing to music and you move and the wire hits the doorknob and it rips out of your ear and it fucking hurts. Yes.

I need that check. You need that. I need that check in my life. That's something that you want back. It brings my confidence down a notch and I feel like I need that a little. It brings me back to earth. You just need a constant thing that's taking you down a peg. Just sometimes.

Just a little reminder. Oh, okay. Maybe not everyone needs that, but I feel like I miss it now that I don't have it and I just, I don't know, dealing with this new phone has been very frustrating to me because I'm old and grouchy and I don't like it. I totally get that. That makes a lot of sense to me. It's why I went completely out of my way and got a phone that isn't as good as a phone that I could have probably gotten because it still has an aux port. So I completely understand that because I too am old and don't like change.

My grandparents and parents begin to make so much more sense to me as time goes on. In fact, I think my dad is better at adjusting to change than I am. He is always someone who's like, look at this new gadget I got. And I'm like, oh, God, that's new. I hate it. My dad's the exact same way. He's just happy no matter what. And it's so irritating. It's like, just let me be mad about this, okay?

That's hilarious. I could totally see your dad being that way yeah yeah he's definitely that way he's so cute he gave steven and i these things uh for christmas that are they're they're pretty cool they're like these little you you they're essentially like something that you can put in your wallet that has every possible cord that you could that you could ever need you just plug it into a into a a USB somewhere and then you've got whatever charging cord you happen to need for whatever device you happen to need one for. It's cool and it'd be very useful in like an emergency. But I looked at it and I was just thinking like,

oh man, I'm going to have to learn how it works and I don't understand it and I don't like it. And I can see how it'd be useful and I'm glad that it and I don't and I don't like it I did yeah I can see how it'd be useful and I'm glad that he thought of me but it's new yeah I don't like it and it just keeps changing that's the whole thing is like as soon as you get used to something yeah that's why you need a little wallet device that has six different kinds of plug on it because everything keeps transitioning to a new kind then then it'll only use that forever. I have multiple devices using multiple different things and now I'm getting grumpy because I don't like it. At least it's not just me that's feeling like new things are frustrating and

I don't know. I just, I'm always listening to my music. So's funny. Yesterday, I was driving over to my mom's house. She only lives maybe 10 minutes away from me. I was complaining to Adam like, I have to drive all the way over there and listen to the radio or nothing because I can't get my new phone to connect to the Bluetooth in my car yet. Adam has to do that for me because I am technologically challenged. I was like, wait, I've got it. And I went, by the way, I did listen to the radio for a little bit yesterday.

And I just, I hate the radio. I would almost rather listen to silence because it is all like commercials or it's all songs that were popular back in the two early 2000s that I didn't that I still don't like and anyway um I was like I have a G I had a genius idea and I grabbed like my bluetooth speaker that I knew my phone would pair with and I just like my bluetooth speaker in my car hell yeah that's exactly what I used to do when i had when i had my old car um the one the one that i bought from like steven's stepmother it was it was doing that yeah yes because like it did it didn't have bluetooth pairing and it only had a cd player because it was because it was made in 2007 uh so it wasn't it didn't have like it wasn't fancy enough for bluetooth to be in it

yet because that was that still wasn't like a thing that was ubiquitous and it didn't have a tape player, which is the only way that or an aux cord port or anything. So it was just a CD player. But now, you know, in 2019 and you know, the year,

the year or two before that, that I had the car, I don't have CDs anymore. CDs are not a part of my life any longer. Everything flows through my phone. And so I had like a little Bose Bluetooth speaker that I would carry around with me in my purse so that I would have something besides the radio to listen to. Yes. Because I hate listening to the radio. Yes. Oh, man. Music is just so important. I need it for all of my driving.

I felt like I was, you know, Kuzco from the Emperor's New Groove. Just threw off the groove. Threw off my whole day. I couldn't listen to my music. And I was so grouchy about it. It's bleeding over into today just a little bit. I've got to get over it. I've got to, you know, find some earbuds that will actually stay in my ears because apparently I've got like, I don't know, giant ears or like short ear canals where the buds just they won't stay in no matter what.

They fall out. Yep. I have the opposite problem where like my ear canal is like it's just too small. So I can't get them in there without hurting myself. Like it just makes my ears ache. Yeah. I hate them. I don't understand why they're the most popular version of earbuds, I guess I see out everywhere.

And they're always the kind that come with every single like new electronic device. Yeah. They're the worst. I absolutely hate them. Yeah. But the solution is we're going to tell each other some Irish fairy tales, and then you're going to go watch an episode or two of Queer Eye because it will heal your soul. Perfect.

That's exactly what I need. I'm so stoked. And I think maybe I'll go get a fancy coffee. Yes, go get a fancy coffee. Go do something that will make you happy honestly i'm actually really excited for these irish fairy tales i think that will also make me very happy me too well do we just want to get into it get straight let's do it get straight into the stuff now that we've complained about wireless headphones for long enough like the two

very old women we are yeah dear listeners what technology just grinds your gears tweet at us let us know we're at fairy tale fix pod all the young people listening to this they're just like oh my god what okay then conversely if you're let say, under 25 and you listen to this podcast, tweet out or write in to us about what it is that people over 25 complain about that makes you roll your eyes and say, just get over it already. Is it wireless headphones? Are wireless headphones the best thing ever? And Kelsey and I are just being old lady curmudgeons. We probably are. Probably. Is it wireless headphones? Are wireless headphones the best thing ever? And Kelsey and I are just being old lady curmudgeons.

We probably are. Probably. You should tell us about it. You know what? If they didn't fall out of my ears, I wouldn't be so upset. You'll get new ones. It's going to be okay. I actually know the kind I want.

There's actually, I'm not going to, obviously they don't sponsor this podcast. That would be amazing. Bose, send me free earbuds. But they've got like a little hook that goes in your ear and they have never hurt my ears. But they're like $200. So, yeah. I know what I need. I just got to, you know, I got to hand over the gold.

Mm-hmm. And I don't want to.'s gonna be like oh you just spent eight hundred dollars on a new phone guess what you're not done yet you're not done you have to buy this new thing because we've we've made we've made the old things that you had obsolete and they no longer work with your with your stuff any longer okay i'm sorry for complaining so much it's okay it's fine i had the sense you needed to get it out because you were just glaring you were just glaring off into the middle distance and i was like all right kelsey's got some stuff she needs to cut off her chest just yeah i did thank you

thank you for listening i really appreciate that You're a great friend, Abby. I love you so much. And I am with you. Solidarity. And I'm sorry for everyone that had to listen to that. Abby's going to make it up to you right now. I'm going to make it up to you right now. So for today, I'm telling two stories today, possibly a third, depending on time.

Okay. But I'm telling two stories today. The first story on time okay um but i'm telling two stories today i'm i'm the first story that i'm reading is very short and but i loved it so much it it was from it's from fairy and folk tales of ireland which was edited by wb yeats my mommy bought this for me for my birthday uh last year. Thank you mom. And it's got a bunch. Of just excellent. Irish fairy and folk tales.

That I'm excited to get. That I'm excited to get into. But this one is very short. So you're only going to get one prediction on it. And it's called a Donegal fairy. Collected by Leticia McClintock. Alright. I am going to predict that. This fairy does something bad. Donegal Ferry, collected by Leticia McClintock. All right. I am going to predict that this ferry does something bad.

I like it. That's a great prediction. Okay. That's fantastic. That's my guess. Okay. It's literally half a page long. So here we go. Okay.

This better be good. This is, by the way, a story from the section of the book called the trooping fairies because it's it's divided up by type of fairy creature that the story is about and the trooping fairies are kind of the more traditional um traditional like irish gentry fairy where yeah where a lot of a lot of these stories come from. and one of the wee folk fell down the chimney and slipped with his leg in the hot water. He let out a terrible squeal, and in a minute the house was full of wee folk, pulling him out of the pot and carrying him across the floor. Did she scald you? My aunt heard them saying to him. No, no, it was myself scalded myself, quoth the wee fellow.

Ah, well, ah, well, says they. If it was yourself that scalded yourself, we'll say nothing. But if she had scalded you, we'd have made her pay the end. Incredible. I, uh,

really, I, I picked that story. I don't have any fix for it. It's perfection. Um, I just picked it just because I think it is so perfectly. It's such a perfect example of what I really like about Irish fairy creatures.

That there are rules. Yep. They are in your house. They are around. They are watching you. They're just a part of the nature and just part and they're and they're essentially your neighbors. And if you don't do anything to them, they will leave you alone. But the instant, the instant you do something they don't like, they will figure out a way

to screw with you. And I really appreciate that. I really appreciate that. No dice on your prediction. Nobody did anything bad. It's actually a story where accidents happen. And but you know, if she had done something bad, we would have we would have gotten her good. That's funny. That's cute. I thought that was super adorable.

It is. I love that. My second story. Also, I believe involves the the gentryry the gentry fae and this story is from favorite folk tales from around the world which was edited by jane yolen or yolen i can never decide how i want to pronounce it i could look it up but i won't let us know sorry janell at us and email us. I will take no correction except from Jane herself. That's how I feel every time I say Charles Peralt. You know what?

If he cares so much about whether or not it's Peralt or Perot, he can let us know himself from beyond the grave. I'm not French, so who cares? Exactly. Anyway. Okay. So you may have the standard three predictions on this one. It is called Taken. Taken. I'm excited because this is the one you were going to read last time. Yeah. It's the one I was going to read last time. And instead I wrote The Toad Bridegroom, which was so good. I'm so glad I wrote The Toad Bridegroom, which was so good.

I'm so glad you read The Toad Bridegroom because so far that that has got to be one of my absolute favorite fairy tales of all time that you've ever read on this podcast. Like it is up there with a wonderful shirt. It was perfection. It is super good. Super good. Take it. Okay. It's from, it's from this, your final clue is it is,

it's from the section of the same section of the book as, uh, the toad bridegroom. It's, uh, it's from the section of the book called true love and false. I'm going to, I'm going to go a little crazy with my predictions. I think I want to predict that a child is taken.

Okay. I'm kind of imagining like Changeling's floor just a little bit. I'm not predicting Changeling, but I am predicting that there is a child that gets taken. Because that would be fun. And fairies do that quite a lot. All the time. Forever.

Never not taking children and replacing them with fairy children and because it's in that you gave me that hint about true love and not i'm gonna guess it's more about a child's love than a romantic love which probably isn't true but you know what go for it go for it. Lose those points. Those points we're not tracking. For this last prediction, I am going to go a little bit off the whole a child gets taken, child's love thing to predict that somewhere in the story, the protagonist makes a really problematic decision that leads to your fix. Because you said you had a really good fix for it. Okay.

I love that. Okay. There's no going back. Yes. No take backsies. Those are their predictions. It is not so long ago that a woman of my mother's kin, the O'Shea's was taken.

And when I was young, I knew people who had seen her. She was a beautiful girl and she hadn't been married a year when she fell sick, and she said that she was going to die and that if she must die, she would rather be in the home in which she had spent her life than in a strange house where she had been less than a year. So she went back to her mother's house, and very soon she died and was buried. She hadn't been buried more than a year when her husband married again, and he had two children by his second wife. But one day, there came a letter to her people, a letter with a seal on it, like a wax seal.

Old school. Old school. It was from a farmer who lived in the neighborhood of Fermoy. He said that now for some months, when the family would go to bed at night in his farm, if any food were left out, they would find it gone in the morning. And at last, he said to himself that he would find out what it was that came at night and took the food. I think that's a terrible idea. Yes. I think you should know what's taking the food. Exactly. And leave it alone. But you know what's taking the food. Come on on you are well aware what's taking the food so we sat up in the corner of the kitchen one night and in the middle of the night the door opened and a woman came in the most

beautiful woman he had ever seen with his eyes and she came up to the kitchen and lifted the bowl of milk they had left out and drank of it he stood between her and the door like a fool and she turned to him and said that this was what she had wanted oh it's all part of her master plan so he asked her who she was and she said that she came from the list at the corner of his farm where the fairies had kept her prisoner they carried her off from a place in Ventry parish and left a changeling in her place. And the changeling had died and been buried in her stead. Nice point for Kelsey.

I was hoping that there would be a changeling sincerely hoping. Wasn't that one of your predictions? It was that a child gets taken. And I had the idea that it was a changeling, but I didn't predict the changeling part. Does that still count as a point? Sure. You mentioned it. I wanted a changeling, so I'm very excited.

This is the first changeling we've had in a story. I know. Go us, the first changeling on Fairytale Fix. Woo-woo! I know. Go for it. Go us. The first changeling on fairy tale fix. Woo woo.

She said that the farmer must write to her people and say that she was in the list with the fairies and that she had eaten none of the food of the fairies. For if once she ate of their food, she must remain with them forever until she died. And when she came near to death. I love that everyone knows that. Them's the rules. Them's the rules. Everybody understands like you can't eat the fairy food otherwise you have to remain there forever yeah it's such a central theme of

of fairy tales and i love that a lot of don't eat the food there don't drink the fairy wine or do you might guess what my fix might be from this. Amazing. I also really like it because it also puts me in mind of, because I think that a lot of different cultures have stories like that. And it's always about the underworld or the secret world or wherever, like the magical creatures of their mythology happen to live. It always reminds me of Persephone and the pomegranate story so i think that's i think that's really cool that that's such a common theme in fairy tales across different

cultures so uh she never ate the food for if once she ate of their food she must remain with them forever till she died and when she came near to death they would carry her through the air and put her in the place of another young woman and carry that young woman back to be in the list with them in her stead. Which I think is kind of an interesting expansion of the mythology, that that's the changeling of someone who has already been with them and is nearly dead, and then they just use her to replace, to grab another pretty young girl. They all look the same anyway, right? They all look the same anyway.

They all look the same. And when he wrote to her people, he must ask her mother if she remembered one night when her daughter lay sick and the mother was sitting by the fire and thinking so she had forgotten everything else. And the edge of her skirt had caught fire and was burning for some time before she noticed it. If she remembered that night,

it would be a token for her, for on that night, her daughter had been carried off, and the fire in her mother's skirt was the last thing she remembered of her life on earth. And when she said this, she went out through the door, and the farmer saw her no more. So the next day, he wrote the letter as she had told him, but her people did nothing, for they feared that if they brought her back there, it would be trouble because of the new And she came again and again to the farmer, and he wrote seven letters with seals, and the neighbors all said it was a shame to them to leave her with the fairies in the lists. And the husband said it was a great wrong to leave his wife in the lists, and whatever trouble it would bring, they should go and fetch her out. Which, good, yes, that should absolutely be your first instinct so they set out her own people and her husband and when they had gone as far as dingle they

said they would go and ask the advice of the priest so they went to the priest that was there at the time and they told him the story from beginning to end and when he heard the story he said that it was a hard case and against the law of the church. And the husband said that when they brought the woman out of the list, he would not bring her back with him to make scandal in the countryside, but would send her to America and he would continue to live with his second wife and her children. But the priest said that even if a man's wife were in America, she was still his wife and it was against the law of the Pope that a man should have two wives and though it was a hard thing they have to leave her in the list with the fairies for it's less evil that she should eat the fairy bread and be

always with the fairies in the list than that god's a take yeah that's a fucking take wow um yes i hate him i hate everyone in this story except the farmer this sounds very much like a an irish because you know christian or Catholicism, I guess, just was so embedded in that culture. Like, yeah. Yeah. Like deeply, like deeply embedded in that culture. And then and then also right alongside it was also all of these like pre-Christian beliefs. So I do think Irish fairy tales are so fascinating

in the way that they meld those two things those two things absolutely um and and the way that like irish yeah that irish stories balance their their like extremely catholic and protestant in in the northern parts uh beliefs with the fact that they also these stories and this tradition has also very much been a part of their life and their understanding of their of their land and i think yeah absolutely really fascinating but still fuck this priest very much yep agreed for saying oh it's better that you leave her in the underworld that there should be two living women that you've married at some point i can see why you were so excited

to tell me your fix for this one yeah um because i have i have one one more paragraph so everyone found nothing to say against the priest and they went home sorrowing and they didn't even deign to break the news to the lady themselves. They made the farmer do it. The farmer goes back to his house. And when he sees the woman again, he tells her the decision of the family. And she goes back to the fairies and the lists and eats their bread and remains with them.

My fix for this story. So my fix for this story isn't necessarily changing the ending because clearly these people all blow if they decided to leave her in the list with the fairies anyway. My fix for this story, I guess, is that like she eats the fairy bread after trying so hard to come home to her husband and her parents and all of these people who she thought would miss her. Yeah. And then, as was written in the first story that I told today, that she got scalded by them. And so thus, now that she's become one of the fairy court, she gets to punish them. Yeah. Oh, that is a perfect fix. That's great um they've done her wrong she is now a member of the fairy court in the lists and

she now gets to punish these people for abandoning her i do feel like the fairy court would accept her and because i don't know fairy is, like generally from the stories at least that I've heard, I don't know a ton about like the lore, but they tend to take in people who have been wronged or innocent people like, you know what I mean? Yeah, that definitely can happen. but not in others and in many other fairy stories it's they specifically target beautiful young women to sort of keep as pets essentially in the course of just these beautiful pets that they just keep constantly drugged with fairy food and fairy wine and keep them love that and just keep them dancing and dancing and dancing and dancing until their little hearts give out. Aw, fairies are just a whole other thing. They are a whole other thing.

So it is not great to be captured by the fairies, but also fairies have a strong sense of the rules and a strong sense of justice. And she did not eat the fairy bread. She found a way to care for herself. She was trying to get out and she would have following all of the rules, all of the things you're supposed to do when you're taken by the fairies. And her family wouldn't bring her home because a Catholic priest told them not to. And I have, I just, my, my head cannon for the end of this story is she goes home, she eats the fairy bread and the fairies are all like, we're going to fucking get them for you. Yeah. Well, I don't know. That's exactly how I see it happening because even if they wanted her as like a pet at first, they would see that happen and

just be like, Oh, this, this changes everything. Maybe they feel about her the way that you feel about your cat, you know? What? Well, she's a pet who they love very much. Yeah. If somebody fucked with my cat.

We love our pets. Yeah. Fuck them. I'm going to kill them. You messed with my favorite one. That was my favorite pretty human girl. We need, I feel like that would be such a fun series to watch, like an HBO series about fairies. Like, remember when they introduced fairies into True Blood for just a second?

Yeah. It was kind of perfect. Like, because they were all chaotic. It was really late. I think I also might be remembering. I read the Sookie Stackhouse novels and they were fairies and then were so much fun. And they were very true to, you know, like chaotic Irish version of the Fae. Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. true to you know like chaotic irish version of the fey yeah yeah absolutely um yeah i know you're definitely remembering the books because as i recall as i recall it was exceedingly silly

yeah they only had it for a second yeah there's like two scenes and then i think there's some some stuff going on later in like the very the final season where there's that fairy doomsday guy that Sookie is supposed to like marry or get down with or something um and that was really also very silly I need to re-watch that series and not in a fun way like that entire show is very stupid and very silly and very awesome um until until I think about the end of season four is where I sort of lost my patience with it. Yeah. The books were really fun.

Cause they had all the, you know, folklore characters, all the cryptids, all the like devils and demons and fairies. And it just went on and on. Like it wasn't just vampires. It was really fun.

Yeah. Yeah. I might have to reread those. You should. That was one of my favorite series ever i remember you took a lot of you you sent you because it was your summer it was your summer read i think every year for a little while while you'd read the new the latest sookie stackhouse novel yeah and charlene harris is dead until dark series is what it's actually called i just call them the sookie stackhouse novels

but yeah yeah but i remember you took a selfie once of like you had you know a glass of lemonade or white wine or whatever and you were in the hammock in your mom's backyard reading one of those books and just you seemed so happy i you know what that's what i need maybe that's what i should do i should go pick up the entire series because there's like 12 books or something and they're all pretty short. Mm-hmm. And just start busting through them. Absolutely. Treat yourself.

I think that would perk you right up. Treat yourself. Treat yourself. That was a great story. Thank you. I think I got two points because a child gets taken. Mm-hmm. And the protagonist makes – no.

Was he the protagonist makes a problematic decision yeah he wasn't he wasn't the because yeah he wasn't the protagonist um yeah the i don't know but honestly who in this story was the protagonist yeah it was very that's it was not a very protagonist story like because it's being told from the perspective of someone who like you know my sister my sister's friend told me this story of some girl that she knew so it doesn't really have a protagonist so i'm going to give it to you you are a a generous God. So generous. Thank you. You're welcome.

I was just about to say it's up to you then. Are you feeling generous today? Because sometimes you don't. Yeah, no, I'm feeling generous and magnanimous today. But especially because the decision was so problematic. Like that is such a problematic decision. It absolutely was. It infuriates me. Like that is such a problematic decision. Oh, it absolutely was. It like, it infuriates me.

The ending of that story infuriates me. I hate it so much. Yep. Yeah. That, that could never live up to the toad bridegroom. I'm just saying. The toad bridegroom was a perfect story.

The toad bridegroom is, uh, I agree. one of the best stories we've ever told on the show. That needs to be my next book is I need to get a book of Korean fairy tales because so far they're 10 out of 10. Yeah. Every time. Every time. They're so fun. I actually chose my story partially based on, so I don't know if anyone here went and listened to our episode. It will have come out by then.

We were guests on Ghosts in the Attic, Bodies in the Basement. It was actually a really good time. Yeah, it was so much fun. Yeah. We got to talk about the, you know, history of – I guess not the history, but like the inspiration for Bluebeard. Mm-hmm. And we also – Abby talked about some Irish fairy creatures. Yeah, yeah.

I did some Irish fairy and folktale monsters that commonly show up. Yeah. Which ones did you talk about? I did the Pooka, the Abertok, which is the Irish vampire. And then I also did the Banshee. Yeah. So definitely go check out ghosts in the attic bodies in the basement. Anna and Lindsay are just,

just delightful. They are wonderful human beings. And we had a ton of fun hanging out with them. Yeah. They're super sweet. And if you haven't listened already, you can also check out the episode that they were on for this show.

The Strong Chaos Baby. Yeah, that's the one. Their stories were amazing. It was so fun having them on. So it inspired me. I knew we were doing Irish fairy tales this month, so I decided I really wanted to find a fairy tale with

one of these creatures in it because, you know, we hear about cryptids all the time and they, I feel like they rarely show up actually in the fairy tales themselves. So it took a while to find one, but I found one and I'll talk a little bit about the lore after I tell you the story and you can also talk about the lore since you already kind of did. I'm so excited. Okay.

This is called The Piper and the Pooka. This is the one that I was going to read? Oh, my gosh. Really? Yeah. I'm like, what are the odds of like all the thousands, literally thousands of Irish fairy tales that we might pick the same one? Oh, man. Well, because there aren't a whole lot of stories that directly feature, especially

not like long ones, because I have a feeling that these cryptids are sort of more like you know about them and people who tell stories will tell you about them and then kind of amend it with like oh you know my grandmother had a banshee in her backyard and everybody kind of understands what a banshee is and you might take you might like have like a short anecdote about it kind of like how people like kind of like people who have like ghosts in their house yeah stuff like that so there's no like there aren't a whole lot of like actual stories that have been written down so i think that it was a really good chance if you went looking for a puka story that there are about three that come up that are like legitimately like a story.

I was actually looking for a banshee story specifically. And this is came up. This one came up and I thought it was really delightful. Oh, my God. It's so charming. I love this story. I literally read it like half an hour ago. Oh, that's so funny. Well then, you can't make predictions.

Okay. I know I should have told you last night what I was going to do, but I didn't want to give it away. No, I'm so delighted. I love it. I'm glad that I didn't plan to do it and that I had other stuff because I was thinking about it. I was thinking about making it the one for today. That's funny. Oh my god, I'm so excited. Yes. Okay, so no predictions from me. Just enjoying having the story told. Please tell me. Okay. In the olden days in County Galway, there was a man who played the pipes, but he was not famous for it. Or if he was, it was for all the wrong wrong reasons since he could play but one tune a jaunty jig called the black rogue which i really love because i am also a musician and i

basically only play the same like five songs over and over so i totally get that yeah absolutely like that's it's a classic sort of amateur musician thing. Yeah, exactly. Of like, yeah, I am excellent at these five things. Yeah. And I'm like, yes, thank you. And I only play Evanescence. That's it. Nothing else. Please don't ask. Please don't ask. Don't ask. Don't, I don't take requests unless it's one of the five evanescent songs that i know but that is such a perfect like um local local musician right uh place to start for the story i was also imagining this guy as yaski air from the witcher because i'm still i'm still

love it i love him i'm still on one about that. Because why wouldn't you be? Now, it happened one dark night that he was on his way home after entertaining some gentlemen. And with a few pens in his pocket and a few drinks under his belt, he was in grand form. Of course. But it was not to last. For he'd only stepped onto an old stone bridge near his mother's home when a puka leapt from the bushes and flipped him up head over heels and landed on his back. Now, in case you don't know, the puka is a creature that lives on the countryside of Ireland.

It can easily shift its shape, and sometimes the puka might look like a horse or a goat or a goblin. In this case, it walked on two legs and had horns on its head. I love pukas. Two legs? Yep. Nice. The boy had a fighting spirit in him. He was soon on his feet, and he grabbed the furry creature by the horns.

The puka, however, had the strength of the supernatural, and he easily picked up the lad and placed him on the side of the bridge. May the whole road swallow you whole, the piper swore, clinging to his hat. Let me off your back, you nasty beast, for I must get snuff for my owl mother. Never mind your mother, said the puka. You'd best keep your mind on holding fast, for if you fall, both your pipes and your neck will be

broken. Amazing. Then the puka asked him to play the poor old woman, but the piper admitted that he didn't know it or any songs beside his one tune. Never mind what you know or don't, said the puka. You play, and

I'll be sure that you play it right. And with that, the piper put Wyn in his bag and played such a fine tune as astounded him. But he was getting worried now and asked the puka where he was being brought. Oh, but I do. I love the imagery of him just on the

back of this giant beast like playing a tune. But like nervously where like he's just like a little shaky about it being like so where are we going there's a great feast in the house of the banshee said the puka and i'm bringing you there to be the entertainment for the night not at all sure he liked the sound of this the piper asked about his pay and was reassured that he'd get what he asked for. Oh no, that sounds super ominous.

Maybe just calm it down, buddy. Don't ask so many questions. It's a fairy creature. You be careful. Not much less worried by the answer, he clung on tight as they raced across the hills and bogs and rough places until they came to Krogh Patrick. If nothing else, you've saved me a journey, said the piper, for Father William put a trip

to this very mountain on me as penance for stealing his white goose at the last martini. This piper, I love him. He's such a rogue. He's a rogue bard that's just, I don't know, fun as hell. How much are you paying me after he just like almost got killed by this giant beast? And he's like, oh, yeah, I stole a goose from the local priest. And he told me that I had to walk here as penance. So cool.

Checks out. When they reached the top, the puka stamped three great blows of his foot and an earthen door opened letting them pass into a fine room beyond ancient it seemed and low of roof yet spacious for all that since there was in the middle a great golden table where sat a hundred old women kaliaaliach they were. So that is a divine hag. Yes. Nice. Ancestor. And it's a Gaelic term.

Kaliach they were, a different kind than the puka, but they still rose to greet him, saying, a hundred thousand welcomes to you, puka na samna, and who is our guest? And they gnashed their teeth and cackled,

much to the fear of the piper. But the Pooka said, I have brought you the finest piper in all of Ireland. Then one of the ancient crones struck a blow on the ground, and who should come out of the door but that very same white goose the piper had stolen from Father William. Oh my gosh. love how like specifically targeted by all of these fairy creatures as this piper began to wonder what was in that stoop he drunk that night for by his conscience he had sworn himself and his mother had eaten every part of that goose except the wing, which he'd given to his neighbor, Mary, who in turn told the priest of his wrongdoing. Mary, what a bitch. Be cool, Mary.

I know she got a wing. Naturally, of course, the goose busied its. I love naturally naturally of course the goose busied itself cleaning away the table and the puka told the piper to play and so he did getting all the old ladies up and dancing until they fell down exhausted then the puka mentioned his pay and they put their hands in their pockets and each pulled out a shiny golden coin, which they gave to him. Pete Patrick's too, he said to himself. I'm as rich as the son of a king. And the goose came up to him and gave him a fine set of shiny new pipes to play as well.

Come on now and less of your talk, said the puka. I'll bring you back to your mother. And quick as two winks and a sneeze, they were back at Dunmore. Bucking the piper off, the puka said to him, Now you have two things you didn't have before. Now you have two things you didn't have before. That is sense and music.

Going back to his mother's house, the piper rapped on the door, declaring himself both rich and the best piper in Ireland, but his mother declared him drunk instead dearie me you've had more than a drop wait now wait till you hear the music i will play he strapped on his fine new pipes but instead of music came out the most awful commotion of geese blaring and honking and all the neighbors came out and laughed at him then he put on his old pipes

and they played as melodious as a tune you ever heard the next morning all of his gold pieces were turned into leaves and acorns but he played the most beautiful music in all of galway from that day until he died the end i love that story I love how like they gave him a lot of prank stuff. Yeah. At the end, but like they still like they still gave him a magical gift to be able to play the music. I love it. I'm glad there's actually a story about the puka. And I got it from a couple of different sources. So you can actually check it out in our show notes. The one was from TheEmeraldIsle.ie. The other one is StoryNori.com.

And there's actually also a really cool, the Leprechaun Museum actually has a video of a gentleman telling the story. So definitely make sure to check that out in the show notes. So definitely make sure to check that out in the show notes. Just from like extremely light research. But this is from the Irish road trip website, which I had a lot of fun reading through. The person who wrote about all of the creatures is an Irishman himself. And he had a lot of like personal connections and personal anecdotes about stuff his family members told him. I love that. And yeah yeah it's super adorable um

let me see let me scroll to where the puka was there um it does explain a little bit in the story already what a puka is there's just sort of like a well-known fairy creature in ireland that can take the shape of a horse or a goblin or kind of whatever else it wants um they're usually found in rural ireland because they're they prefer quieter parts where i think it's easier to find humans to mess with and they're sort of um also like very chaotic neutral creatures where they're here to kind of like mess with you or help you or both as we saw in the story that kelsey just told and popular stories of the puka um tend to involve the puka taking human beings for just wild rides across the irish landscape and attempting to buck them off

as a in the form of a horse in the form of a horse yeah um but no matter what shape a puka has according to this uh blog you can always tell them by their big bright golden eyes very cool i love that i adore the idea so i was reading a little bit about pukas from irish central.com so you can also check that out in the show notes. I also read that like other tricksters, it's also known as a fertility spirit, which I thought was really interesting since it has the power to create or destroy. And as someone who clearly isn't like an expert on folklore, I do find it hilarious that like fertility gods tend to also be tricksters or like known as ominous.

So you can also think of like Kokopelli is another trickster fertility god that I absolutely love and desperately want to cover someday. And according to this IrishCentral.com article, the puka is associated with the boogeyman and also the Easter bunny. What? man and also the easter bunny what because it's a pagan fairy-like creature that brings chocolate eggs and sweets at easter and has roots in fertility which i thought was really interesting i don't know if that's completely accurate but that is what the article said so i thought that was fun that's a really fun idea i love that lest you think that the puka is just another myth from Irish history, think again. So apparently the puka exists in contemporary Ireland, but it often appears as a human just before something terrible happens. So, for example, it has a strong resonance with events of recent past and not just symbolically.

So the puka is always around the corner just before, or so the puka is always around just before a disaster. Cork-born folklorist Thomas Crofton Croker wrote in his book, Fairy Legends and Traditions in 1825, says that the puka appears as a real flesh and blood human and approaches someone and vagals its way into their company and subsequently predicts unfortunate events that would befall them. And of course,

when adversity does strike, the entity is never around. So it's like he tells you bad news and then peaces out. And hidden in its supernatural realm, it revels in its joy of watching humans and enduring the effects of catastrophic events, which sounds just like so much fun.

I love chaotic, neutral creatures. So I want to read more stories about the puka. This is the only one I could really like easily find. And that's, I think think because puka is in the title yeah I'm sure they show they might show up in other places but not not as obviously because yeah you can yeah just search for them in the same way the book that I have has like three puka stories in it so maybe I'll read it I'll read another one of those uh absolutely one of those. Absolutely. One of them is crazy long. So we'll see. I love it. Yeah. If you ever find any fairy tales with actual cryptid creatures in them or

fairy tale creatures in them, let us know. Send it to us. Tell us what your favorite tales are. We always want to hear about that. Do you have any other notes about the puka? Nope. That was it. And I honestly didn't have a fix for that story. I really liked it. I thought it was hilarious that they basically played a giant prank on the musician, but also gave him a great gift. Yeah.

I also really liked that about the story. No fixes. I love that there are divine hags and the puka just picks some random amateur musician to take along for the ride and pull more pranks on him, but ultimately leave him with a really cool ability. Hell yes. Yeah. Amazing. A perfect Irish story. I loved it.

Well, that's going to do it for us today. Thank you so much for listening to Fairytale Fix. If you enjoyed the show, please subscribe and leave us a review on Apple or Stitcher or go ahead and give us five stars on Spotify if you like. Please. If you love the show and want to support us, you can get extra episodes, merch, books, and other cool bonus stuff at our Patreon by signing up at fairytalefix.cash. You can also find us on Twitter and Instagram at fairytalefixpod. You can also find us on Twitter and Instagram at FairytaleFixPod. And, you know, email us your favorite fairy tales, folklore, cryptid stories, and other such things at info at FairytaleFixPod.com.

And so the maiden from the Taken story ate the fairy bread in the end. And then she and all of her fairy court companions went and wreaked havoc on her former family for leaving her there. Perfect. Yes. And the piper played his little heart out to the end of his days. And they all lived happily ever after. The end.