F*ck Buddies: A Sex and Dating Advice Podcast - Episode 258 - Act Like Jimmy Neutron Dresses

Episode Date: September 18, 2023

Some people just can't handle the Neutron style.  Topics include calling off the benefits with a friends with benefits, pre-mature ejaculation and modern media, unsaved number suspicions, how to cast Zone of Friendship, location sharing and when to do it.

I put my trust in you, and I trust in love. I put my trust in you, I put my trust in love. I put my trust in you, and I trust in love. I put my trust in you, I put my trust in love. Hello friends, my name is Dave Miller. And I'm Niles Spain. And we're your fuck buddies. We are a dating and sex advice podcast where we take your sticky, sexy situations and turn them into sexy, sticky situations.

Simply put, we find questions either from our incredible listeners or get them roaming the wild. We answer them right here, right now, in your ears every Monday. Also monthly on Patreon. And monthly on stage. Hey, Dane, when's the next show? Our next show is Thursday, September 21st. That is this Thursday.

When this comes out, tickets are $10 at black sheep available at our website. F buddies, podcast.com. Click the live show option and, uh, just hit the, there's a little button that just says reserve and it should take you right

there. Yeah, it's going to be a a blast we have a custom cocktail menu we have food specials it's always a lot of fun some so far only cool people have come to the show so that's great and yeah it's gonna be a blast so hopefully we'll see you there one of the first times we've really talked about it and not be like oh wait this episode is coming out after the show no yeah we're on top of it um also uh one of the things i love most about the live shows is this is something that we did like the first show that we did we were like oh we'll hand out like little question things for people to write questions down and then we'll do like a

little segment where we'll answer some of them uh that's most of the show now like the amount of questions that we get from the audience is uh shocking and a lot of fun yeah i really thought maybe we'd get one or two and like reluctantly or bad questions but it's always one very good questions and two a fuck ton of them yeah so many i love it you guys fucking delivered and i'm proud of you. Speaking of audience questions, you ready for one? Yeah. Let's get right into it.

This is Agent Dinglehopper. I, 33-year-old male, am very comfortable with being single and my arrangement being friends with benefits among the girls I date. I'm open and direct about what my deal is from the beginning. I'm careful, safe, and get tested, as one does. It's been nice and exactly what I like. I tell them I like a non-monogamous, non-exclusive relationship, usually friends with benefits, and have made some sexy friends, or remain so, even after the benefits ended. Though, a girl I've been seeing, 28, after I wanted to refresh our relationship status,

i.e. purely friends with benefits, told me she doesn't really feel good with the understanding that I'd have sex with other girls while I'm seeing her. She feels like she would be objectified because she feels that she is just one in a conveyor belt of girls and feels like an acquisition instead of a person. I don't think her of that way in the least and said I would have absolutely no problem if she was seeing other guys.

It goes both ways. She told me it's just really hard finding another guy to connect with and be comfortable with. She's a nice person and I care about her, as I do every friend I have. However, I've been feeling a bit uneasy since I respect her wishes, but I really feel like seeing other girls like I used to. Is it too much to ask to just call our friends with benefits arrangement off? I don't like hurting people and I hope she won't take it too hard. For the past month, I've been not feeling

too great with this situation. Any thoughts? BS, thanks guys. Love the podcast. Can't believe I almost caught up within a little over a year of finding you. Makes me laugh many times. Who knew Ireland and Canada could be such good bedfellows? Hell yeah. One, thank you for listening. Yeah, love it. Thank you for the kind words, too.

My two favorite things, people listening and saying kind things about us. Yes, compliments and engagement. Okay, it sounds like you have a pretty good grasp of communicating what you want to people however it seems to have fallen apart the second someone like has thrown a little bit of a wrench in the gears because if you're like hey i prefer non-monogamous non-committal relationships i.e friends with benefits or you know whatever uh she's like i don't want that but then you were like okay yeah and it seems at odds to being conducive to like what you want and that's fine and i understand that there are times where like you meet someone

that you really like or the sex is really good and you you start to question being like, oh, is it worth tailoring what I want in order to continue to see this person? Which is fine because you can still be noncommittal and non-monogamous if you aren't pursuing other people at the time because one person is currently all you want to see. That's fine. But the non-committal and non-monogamous part falls apart where if you stop doing what you want to do in order... Because essentially you are now committed and monogamous if you're only seeing this one person, right? And if that's not what you want, then you're in a bad spot. Yeah. I think what you're trying to say is that it's totally fine if you chose to do that. Yeah.

But if you're being asked to, I don't really want to, which is clearly the case, then that's not non-monogamy and it's not non-committal. You know what I mean? But also I've, I've always had an issue with people trying to pull like a whole, Oh,

we're non-monogamous, but also, and I'm like, but that is, that is monogamous. If you're saying I can't see other people, like, just by saying like, oh, we're not boyfriend and girlfriend,

but also you can't see other people. It's like, okay, so we are really, you know what I mean? And I've had people try to, to like come back against that, being like, no, it's not that. It's just that like, I'm not comfortable. I'm like, okay, but like,

it's still the same thing. You know what I mean? You can't just call it a different word and be like, I'm not comfortable. I'm like, okay, but like, it's still the same thing. You know what I mean? You can't just call it a different word and be like, what's different? You know? Yeah. If you're not sleeping with other people and you are exclusively sleeping with one person, then you are monogamous. Yes.

Which again, literally. Yeah. And like I said, like if that is what you want, if you only want to see one person at this moment, that's fine. That's cool. But if you're doing it because you're worried that oh no we i might lose this person or this person might not want to see me anymore if i want to pursue the people that i want to pursue and the lifestyle i want to pursue then it might just be

because you ask oh is it okay to to call it off of course it is yeah if you're not happy or this isn't going the way that you want it to go of course it's okay to call it off. Of course it is. Yeah. If you're not happy or this isn't going the way that you want it to go, of course it's okay to call it off. It's your life too. It's your relationship as well. And it is more beneficial in the long run to like call it off because it's only going to lead to a point as, as you spend more time with this person, this person is going to think that they have like changed you or flopped you or convinced you to be monogamous and be exclusive. And if you're like,

Oh, Hey, actually I found someone like I've met someone new that I want to pursue a relationship with. That's probably going to hurt them a lot more, even though it technically really shouldn't. But hearing that, hearing like,

Oh, their exclusive company is no longer quote unquote enough for you is going to hurt more than you just being like, hey, I really enjoy the time we spend together. And if but if you're not comfortable with me seeing other people, then I don't know if this has any sort of like longevity. Yeah. And like, unfortunately, the best time to have said that was when they brought it up. But the second best time is now. You know what I mean? Because as Dane said, it's very true.

Like the longer it goes, the possibility of them getting upset increases, you know, more and more. And like, look, hopefully they will be cool. You know what I mean? Like they've expressed what they want out of a relationship. You didn't get offended. You're going to express what you want out of a relationship. Hopefully it'll be fine. But sometimes you just, you know, someone's going to express what you want to have a relationship hopefully it'll be fine but sometimes you just

you know someone's going to get hurt regardless and the way to keep them from getting hurt more is to be honest right so the sooner you're honest the less hurt they're going to be and the more you guys can move on to things that you want so by all means yeah you can totally and probably should totally

end this or at least say that you want to go back to how things are. I very much doubt they're going to want that, but you know, sometimes that's just how it works. Yeah. I think a good way to sort of phrase it, because I think a lot of people hear like, Oh, uh, you know, non-monogamy and think I again, she describes it as like a conveyor belt of people. Right. And that's decidedly not, I'm sure there are people who treat it that way. And I'm sure there are, but like, there's people who treat monogamy just as toxically, you know what I mean? Like there are people who are monogamous, but still cheat and et cetera,

et cetera. So I think it's, it's really important to sort of, I think, really outline what being non-monogamous means to you. And the fact that you're like, oh, I care about her as I do any friend. I think that's important information to impart to her. Be like, look, just because we're non-committal and non-monogamous doesn't mean that I don't care about you. Doesn't mean that I'm going to, you know, use you only for sex. Like what I'm proposing is friends with benefits. And one of the, the first,

the first word in that is friends. And I want to be someone that matters to you. And I want you to matter to me and me seeing other people doesn't diminish my feelings for you. Yeah. And, you know, just explain it that way and explain that

like you wouldn't if we were friends and without having sex would you be upset if i had another group of friends yeah or you know i mean and like explain that would be like no and it doesn't lessen our friendship if i have other friends because there are other friends that i do other things with i go out you know i have myD friends. I got my karaoke friends. I've got my rock climbing friends. And it's the same thing as when you have a non-monogamous sexual relationship. Maybe one person is very, quote unquote, vanilla. And that's fine.

That fills a certain role. One person might be very kinky. One person might be different people. You know what I mean? I think an important thing to do as well is to one explain why you said yes for them for now and you could be like look because i really care about you and i didn't want things to end so i said yes even though like upon reflection it's not really what i want and that like that isn't like if you're upset or whatever like i'm sorry

but at the same time that's kind of testament to how much I do like you and care about you is that I was willing to put myself in this position. I don't really want to be in just because I didn't want things with you to end, you know, like you put yourself out to try to like help her. So I think like letting that be known is like a good way to maybe soften the blow a bit. Another way you could go about doing this is like ask them if there is a reason they feel, you know, like they're part of this revolving door, like with your relationship. I assume it's just their own kind of like inbuilt, you know, like issues or whatever. But like, I don't know if there's an area that's lacking that you could maybe shore up or help reassure them. Maybe that would be a nice a nice thing to do going forward.

You know, that's an excellent point in terms of I feel like this is something we don't really talk a lot about. But checking in with your partner and being like, hey, is there anything you need more of for me to make this a comfortable situation for you? Like perhaps she wants to hear more about the partners you want is you're you're seeing so she has a better idea of like the scope of of what you're dealing with some people are like i don't want any reference for it and that's something you could like perhaps you are casually mentioning like other people that you're seeing and that makes her a little uncomfortable and maybe it is easier for you to just be like okay cool when we're together i won't talk about my other partners and you know stuff like stuff like that. And, and it's important to like, keep that communication. And I think it's also really important as now I was talking about being like explaining

that you did try it and you're, you've mentioned in the question, you're like, oh, I'm not, I feel a little weird about it now. That's a hundred percent. Okay. To listen to a partner's requests, try it out and then be like oh well i said yes so i've got to stay with that's that's not correct you said yes you tried it out it doesn't feel good so now it's time to as you said like re-evaluate your relationship and bring it up again be like hey i i wanted to give this a try for you but it doesn't feel right for me i feel really

uncomfortable with it and here are the reasons why And here's what I would like to do going forward. And that's a new sort of negotiation with your relationship. And that's a new chance for them to be like, okay, actually, you know what, if that's, if this doesn't feel right for you, it doesn't feel right for me. So let's pump the brakes and either try something different or call it off and let's just be friends. And that's a really mature adult responsible way to handle relationships because you could like the alternative is doing this until you find someone else that you want to sleep with and then you're like oh hey by the way i found someone else i'm gonna go fuck them now which is not great because as we said earlier the longer this goes the worse it gets you know And I think there's another kind of like element of it being a little bit more personal.

If you're like, oh, I'm leaving you for that person, you know? Yeah. As opposed to I'm leaving you because, or like I want to change the situation because it doesn't suit me. Yeah. So keep being honest, keep being upfront, keep having those conversations of like re-evaluation because that is how non-monogamy thrives is being like, okay,

this was our original arrangement. It's not working for one of us or both of us. So let's see if we can't tweak it. Let's see if we can't change it so that it does work for both of us. And if it doesn't, then, you know, we had a really good run.

I had a lot of fun with you. I still care about you. I'm happy to be friends, but if you need space, I'll respect that as well and move on. And the thing is like, I have no fear that this question asker is going to do a good job because clearly they are good at knowing what they want and communicating. They seem very mature. So I have no worries that this is going to go well, at least on their end.

Exactly. So good luck. Um, and good question. Uh, this is from Reddit user. Okay. Tower five, nine, five. How to make him feel better after a BJ? I've been really into this guy for a while. Last night we started kissing and I'd had a bit to drink, so I pulled his pants down and started licking up his shaft, just to tease him before I go to work. I got halfway up his shaft and he tells me to stop and then starts coming. He pulls away, but it lands on my neck and dress and he's mortified.

I found it pretty hot. I masturbated to the thought of him being so hot for me he came like that but he won't even talk to me anymore what do i do tell him that it was so hot that you masturbated to it yeah yes he's gonna he's gonna like hearing that that's it's funny that like look premature ejaculation is something that we have been so browbeaten to be ashamed of. Yep. Literally every piece of media is not cool about it. It's no, it's, it's just, it's such a constant mockery.

And, and there doesn't seem to be any kind of like pushback on that either. You know what I mean? Like so many things we've moved on from like, you know, fat shaming and like a lot of things have really developed, but I feel like a lot of things in the men's sphere have just been like, no, whatever. Let's shame their dick size. Let's let's shame premature ejaculation, whatever. They don't deserve it.

Yeah, it's it's very, very funny how we like look at how we really just haven't evolved or advanced conversations about men's sexuality at all. If anything, we've reverted. Like I watched Wedding Crashers last night for the first time, and I was actually surprised at like kind of how well it held up in terms of like the nature of the thing. But there is a scene where Vince Vaughn gets straight up raped and then almost sexually assaulted immediately after again.

And it's so flippant. And they actually like, he actually uses the word raped and like, no one cares. It's never addressed again. It's never like, it's so glossed over. And we were watching it and we were just like,

fuck me. Imagine if this was a role reversal, this movie would have like, it would have taken a complete tonal shame change and like shift. This was like Vince Vaughn doing this to Isla Fisher. The funny thing is at that time that would like a role reversal still, I don't think would have been okay. You know what I mean?

Yeah. Even though like things are still not great back then, but like it still would be like, whoa, what the fuck? But it almost certainly would be a huge thing at this point. Whereas like no one gives a fuck. Yeah.

I mean, we talked about it as well. Like Bridgerton has a very, oh yeah. Not, not great rape scene as well with another dude. And everyone was like, it's so hot. And even like the narrator after the fact is very flippant about what just happened. Like, they're just like, oh, she did a bad thing. Yeah. And no, no, nothing ever comes of it. it no no one ever gets reprimand literally at worst it's like okay

what did you you really did that did you she's like oh i guess silly me it's like what the fuck and like the guy was like traumatized which is why he didn't want to do so it's even worse you know what i mean i mean i'm pretty sure he doesn't go back to the second seat. Like I think he quit the show. Like I don't think he's in the second season anymore. The actor. Yeah. Cause I think he was pretty fucked up.

Honestly, I'm impressed with how they dealt with his character. Yeah. So like we have so much generational and social anxiety, I guess, about things like losing erections coming too soon, penis size, like all of that.

And there really, as now said, like there really isn't any advancement or discussion on that, which is a big reason why we have a show like this of being like having the opportunity for men to talk about these things and to hear other voices of, of people being like these are things that happen to everyone and in this situation in the like the reality of things how many times have we had questions of being like oh he came too soon but i don't care it was really like i had a great time this one he came too soon but it was really fucking hot and i

masturbated because of it you know he lost his erection and i don't care but how do i get him to you know what i mean like there's so much in reality people are a lot more understanding and forgiving and it's not as big of a deal as we are told from the second we you know start talking about sex as men yeah about being like oh dick size matters you know lasting for hours matter uh it's embarrassing to come too soon. You're not a man if you can't hold an erection. Like, all this shit is aggressively beat into us so early. Yeah. And it's ceaseless.

And again, it hasn't changed at all. So that's wonderful for us. Yay, progress. Yeah. Yeah. I think, look, if you reach out and you'd be like, look, hey, I understand you're embarrassed or whatever, but I want to let you know I thought it was super hot. I would love to get you that worked up again or less so, whatever you want, but I don't want you to feel bad about that because I thought it was hot and I literally masturbated to it. Yeah.

Honestly, I wouldn't even bring it up. I would just be like, I haven't stopped thinking about you coming all over me. I masturbate. You know what i mean like keep it strictly focused on the positive yeah how hot you found it and being like i can't wait to do it again yeah those are those are like some if someone said that to me regardless of like whether i came too soon or not like anytime anyone sends me a text and it's like i can't stop thinking about this or i've this thing you did to me was crazy you know what i mean like getting those texts like two days later on top of the other problems men have men are like just like cripplingly lacking in you know

like compliments so give them a compliment too because that's another problem people have to deal with so you know and hey maybe the embarrassment or the shame or maybe he blocked you these are things that might have happened and that is unfortunate and hopefully it's not going to hit him too hard but i think this is such a good way to go about it that if you do this and it doesn't work out at least you have done a good thing hopefully he read the message hopefully that helps out i do think that's really all you can do is send this positive message. And the best part is you're being completely honest too. Yeah. Yeah. You're not lying because you, you feel that way. Um, and I,

I guess like the one thing, if, if you find yourself, you know, in our effort to make the world sexier and happier and safer, um, if this ever happens to you in reality, like if a dude ever does come too quick, you know, just be comforting, be understanding. Maybe send them that text being like, it's fucking hot that you got that thought from me. Honestly, I would say if this happens again to this person or if it happens to someone listening, don't wait for the text. Make it hot there and then. You know what I mean? Like, don't let it get to the point where they've run out and they're ashamed and not answering texts. You know what I mean?

Yeah, that's what I mean. Make it a little bit more immediate. Yes. Hopefully, then you can cut it off before it spirals into this big, like, self-loathing, like, embarrassment spiral, you know? Yeah. Yeah. Hopefully. Well, fair play to you for being cool.

And hopefully this guy's doing all right. This is a deleted user. Girlfriend hasn't saved my number. I've been together with my girlfriend 24 for about half a year and everything is going amazingly. We spend a ton of time together, call, go on a lot of dates, et cetera. It's really fun. However, I randomly noticed she hasn't even saved my number as a named contact. So when I call her on WhatsApp, just my number pops up. That was kind of weird. Any ladies on here that do the same slash know why?

Sure, I could ask, but I don't want it to seem like I'm making a big deal out of something so trivial. I don't use WhatsApp, so I don't really know how it works in terms of... Hey, guess what? It barely fucking works in this regard specifically. My brother, my sister, and one of my best friends from back home, for some reason, their names only come up as numbers,

but people I've never really interacted with, they come up as names. I don't understand why. Let me see. Who? Yeah. I would say it's like a 50 50 like mishmash of people, people showing up as names and numbers. Yeah, like it's I don't know what their like system is for that. But honestly, it took me I got so sick of it.

I want to change my brother's number to a name and it took so long to figure out how to do it it was very annoying so if it's just whatsapp dude you're cool you're fine it's a weird yeah if this was if this was in your her like her phone yeah i would be a little bit more suspicious but even then i'd be like, what would it mean? You know, are you worried that you're the side piece? Because like, yeah, the only thing less, the only thing more suspicious than like Dave texting you is a blank number texting you all the time. You know, yeah, that's very true. It wouldn't even make sense. your name was in there as like my bank or, you know, Siobhan.

Yeah, sure. Then you could be like, okay, I think I'm the side piece, but it was just a blank number. Like that's the most us like, oh,

it's just those prank texters. Wow. It's like half a, half a year of fucking back and forth. Oh, I like to mess with them. They seem to think you're in a relationship. Isn't it so funny? I love pranking these texters by the way i gotta go for 10 hours again which i do every few

days i'll be back soon yeah yeah i wouldn't worry about it dude uh and if if it really does give you the ick then bounce i guess i like i don't know like if it's up yeah um there's no harm in just being like you know if it does, as long as you're not like stooping through her phone or like you, like, I don't know how you would have seen this. Yeah. Like, why are you calling her next to her? Yeah.

That's what I mean. Like, I feel like you'd have to message her. I know exactly why. I do it all the time. Just so I check this very thing. Do they have me on their phone? I call them on every app and they're like, wait, why are you doing that? I'm like, oh, sat on my phone.

They're like, sat on your phone and you went into like Instagram and called me on there? Yeah. Oh, you just did it again, but with WhatsApp. I'm like, hold on. Yeah. I'm trying to think of a really obscure I know. The best I can do is Instagram. Just calling people on Instagram is fucking weird.

Yeah, it is someone when we won our Canadian podcast award called me on Instagram and I was like the fuck is happening why are you doing this it was actually very sweet pretty sure the only person who does that to me or has done that

is like very very drunk co-workers like when I know they're like fucked up fucked up and I'm like definitely not answering them yeah this is like if I ever see you calling me through anything other than my phone I'm probably going to be very

suspicious depending on the time of date and who you are like if it's at like 3 a.m. and you're one of my friends and you're calling me on messenger I'm going to pick up because I'm like oh something's bad Messenger, I'm going to pick up because I'm like, oh, something's bad. But otherwise, I'm going to be like, I don't want to deal with this because I know you're fucking hammered.

And then I'm going to have to be like, no, you can't come over. Why? Because you're calling me on Instagram. Yeah. You have a audience question, right? I sure do. I'm going to do it right now. One, I do want to apologize. this was sent in a while ago and for some reason it didn't go to our email and just hung out in our like website messaging platform thing i don't know why that happened usually

anyone who emails us or messages through our website it gets directed to our Gmail. This didn't. So when I was editing the website today, I saw it. So I do apologize for the delay. But here it is. This is from Platonic Paladin. How do I friendzone a Dungeons & Dragons squad member without making it weird? Howdy, guys. I, a 28-year-old female, have a close friend, 26-year-old Mask, who I play D&D with on an almost weekly basis.

His long-term partner is our Dungeon Master and also a friend of mine. I do not know whether they are monogamous. Over the last few months, I've noticed that he's gotten touchier when we hang out alone. I never initiate touch other than a greeting hug. He positions himself so our feet touch, will touch my shoulders, even put his arm around me. The vibes I get are that he's flirting me with plausible deniability, and I find this uncomfortable, but I'm worried that if i bring it up explicitly it will result in our friendship and dnd party getting really weird at the same time i want to put a stop to this behavior before it accelerates especially because i care a lot about his partner how do i subtly friend zone this guy i will say i do hate when

people flirt with plausible deniability you know what i mean uh because it puts you in such a weird position to be like, hey, I have a partner. And then they're like, well, I didn't I didn't ask. You know, I fucking hate that. Like someone you've hooked up with reaches out after like 10 years and they're like, hey, you around? And you're like, okay, we all know

you want to bang. But then when I bring up a partner or say something like that, it's like, no, I just want to reconnect. It's like the only thing that connected was our genitals. i have the perfect answer okay you when you're rolling up characters you say hey let's do joint like we'll make characters with like a joint backstory and you roll up siblings okay this but this is a great answer if you just stop your current campaign or have to wait until the end of the current campaign that's true i will say you could wait a while or just kill your character i'm sorry

but it's not going to be more painful than dealing with this and then come back as this person's brother and then just ham on the role play and then after each session be like whoa it's crazy i feel like i'm actually your sibling you need to to work with this DM that you love and be like, Hey, I kind of want this arc with my character where there's like a guy who just like won't leave her alone and have this dude constantly be like touching you and stuff. And then you just repeatedly kill him,

but he's like cursed. So he just keeps coming back and you just keep kill him. But he's cursed, so he just keeps coming back and you just keep killing him in more and more gruesome ways. And just look this man dead in the eye every time you do it. Can you change your seating so he can't futsy you? But it seems like it's not at the D&D game because they say when they're hanging out individually. Oh, sorry.

I thought it was during the game. Yeah, I've noticed that he has gotten touchier when we hang out alone. Oh, sorry. I thought it was like during the game. Yeah, I've noticed that he's got or he has gotten touchier when we hang out alone. Oh, OK. Yeah, that's annoying. You could just go and be like, oh, sorry. Can you not like touch my shoulder? I don't love that. And like this thing move because then you don't have to be like, are you flirting with me?

Are you whatever? And I know it's not the perfect answer, but like it is an answer and you're rebuffing them with plausible deniability and i also don't think i would hope that if you are in a friend group you don't have to be like hey you have a partner please don't touch me you can just be like oh sorry i'm not i don't really like that or you know i i'm not a fan of that touch or and hopefully if they're friends like if i did something with someone i'm very familiar with and they were like oh i'm not the biggest fan of of being touched then i would be like i'm so sorry of course and then i wouldn't do it again yeah and hopefully that is enough if you guys are friends to have and like there's no harm in and i hope no like no one should feel uncomfortable asking for someone to respect their their you know boundaries and their uh physical space

and if they get weird then that's their fucking fault yeah and it's a pretty clear indication that like nothing here is good. You know what I mean? Because like, again, maybe they're just weirdly like affectionate in that way. Right. Like I doubt it, but maybe. So it's like if you say this and they're like, oh, shit, sorry. And then they're good. Then you'll be like, oh, cool.

Like problem, problem averted. Yeah. You could also while you guys are like at the table or whatever, before your session has started, when you're like, you know, talking about whatever you can mention a coworker who's been like really touchy lately and how it kind of makes you uncomfortable or how you don't like it.

You know what I mean? And just kind of like bring that up casually in the space and without like being like, Oh, there's a, you know, be very specific. Like,

again, this is like a white lie or whatever, but be very specific. We'll be like, Oh, there's a guy, you know, be very specific. Like, again, this is like a white lie or whatever, but be very specific. We'll be like, Oh, there's a guy, you know, I like at work and he's gotten like really handsy lately.

And I had to tell him to like, you know what I mean? Like try to try to replicate the scenario somewhere else. And while you're with everyone else, so it doesn't seem pointed. Or you know what? Maybe like you could just next time he fucking plays footsie like oh hey i think you sorry i think you just kicked me yeah i mean i'm like oh and like every time

you touch your foot they're like oh you you keep kicking me what's going on like make it like a joke but like call attention to it i'm like i'm sure it'll stop yeah yeah and move your feet i don't know it's it's it's frustrating and i'm sure it's far more fucking frustrating for you 100 and i can't believe we didn't answer this one who knows what's happened to probably on that new campaign by now so brothers roll up brothers and sisters yeah i i think it's really really important to uh you know own your space and be firm but you know friendly this person is presumably your friend and i again i don't think it like if if this person gets weird with you or like worst case they stop wanting to hang out with you solo which is great because it's obvious that then it'll be a win because you know they're

not hanging out with you for any good reasons exactly and if they're being weird at the group they'll have to be like oh i kept touching her and she asked me not to like that. That's going to be the reason that they give, which is also bad. So if it's if this person gets all shitty, then it's on them to figure it out. But I think it's a lot easier to deal with, like what's actually happening and rather than extrapolating it to the bigger issue. Even if it's happening because of the bigger issue. Yeah. I think you'll feel far more comfortable being like. Hey don't touch my shoulder.

Rather than being like. Hey are you trying to cheat on my friend the DM with me. You know what I mean. Yeah. So like neither is fun to say. But one is infinitely easier. So try to break it down into those little things. You know.

And just try to rebuff. Yep. I agree. This is by FunManufacturer3389. Do you share your location with your partner? I've never done this before, but I've heard a couple's doing it, and I'm wondering what are the pros and cons? Why did you do it to begin with, and how often do you check it? Also, how do you share it constantly with just one person? I feel like it's done usually when trust is an issue to be more secure in the relationship.

I've never done it. Nope. Nor have I. I would understand that someone who, if I lived in a fairly rough neighborhood or if my partner worked in a fairly rough neighborhood and it was more of a safety feature for me to be like okay i know you're still at work great i know you're in an uber on your way like i i understand that like those things of like sharing your uber rides with partners and stuff because you know it's a safety thing and it's a peace of mind thing so cool but i think if it's a trust issue if you're doing it because you don't trust your partner, we say it all the time.

If you don't trust them, you shouldn't be with them. Yes. It's kind of like I saw someone pointing out. It was like a question of like why are atheists good people or something. Someone like – They're not. They were like, I don't understand why atheists are good people. Like they don't live in fear of God.

And someone was like, well, if you are only good because you live in fear of God, you're not good. So it's like, if you're only not cheating on your partner because you have your location turned on, you're not a great partner still. It doesn't matter. You know what I mean? So it's like, if the issue is there, you're putting a band-aid on a fucking mortal wound. You know what I mean? It's not going to solve things. You just feel like it's better.

Also, it's so easy to just leave your phone in the office and go, fuck. I don't know. Or just be like, oh, yeah, that's where my friend Dave lives. Yeah. Or, yeah, I went out with drinks for coworkers. You know what I mean? How many times have we seen this happen where it's like, my boyfriend has his location on and he said he went to the gym but he went to this residential house what's happened it's like okay like obviously the

location services fixed everything yeah so i would say it's one or two like if you if you guys are doing it and you both feel like it's if you if it's like a mutual agreement of being like hey the the neighborhood's rough so we're going to share our information so that if anything ever happens, I will be able to sort of like ping you at your most recent stuff. I know some people who have been like assaulted, um, that feel more comfortable with this kind of stuff. Uh,

sure. Great. Uh, if, if it makes you guys both feel safer and more comfortable and more secure, and it's a layer of, of relief for you guys both feel safer and more comfortable and more secure and it's a layer of of relief for you guys i go for it do whatever you need to do i don't mind it but if it's like hey we've been dating for a year now and we need to share our location to make sure that we're

being honest and faithful then fucking abort just get out because like i Because if that's the only thing Yeah, if it's the only thing keeping you guys faithful is that at any point in time I can check to see where my partner is, then it's bad. Get the fuck out. No, it's garbage. That's gonna do it for us this week, friends.

But if you would like to hang around a little longer, we're gonna pop on to some online dating platforms such as tinder bumble hinge and look through some profiles see what works see what doesn't work in an effort to make your online dating experience a little more enjoyable hell yeah uh oh man let's see if i can find i'm swiping live okay you know here we go. I'll hit you with one just before you do this. Sure. This is April.

Toxic, but my ass is fat. I explore abandoned buildings for fun. My tats are cooler than yours. It's like almost cool, but I always hate when people are like, I'm a bad person. Yep. You know, like. That's the thing. It's not a funny joke if it's false, and it's real shit if it's true. I think the only thing worse than being a bad person is being a bad person and knowing it and being like, that's fine.

Yes. So, gigantic red flag there. anyone's up front about how bad of a person they are unless there is like a very very very good punch line to it like it's got to be like you've got to really get me for me to be like okay you're not a bad person it's it's there specifically to serve this incredibly crafted joke much like Rich like, but my ass is fat. No. Wrong. Yes. That is like the lowest quality of. Yeah. Like, hey, a fat ass.

Great. Exploring abandoned buildings. That's cool. Actually, I appreciate that you've some personality and something I appreciate. My tats are cooler than yours. It's a little adversarial, but in a totally acceptable way. And it brings up your tats. That's fine. Yeah. Toxic though. What are you doing? So it's going to adversarial, but in a totally acceptable way. And it brings up your tats. That's fine. Yeah.

Sick though. What are you doing? So it's going to be like a six. I'm giving it. I think I'm going to go lower. I think I got to go forward because I think it, it's teetering. It's a very easy way for me to say no.

The second you say, you call yourself toxic. It, you give me the, there's a, there's an uphill climb to get into right swipe territory. And it's very, very easy for me to be like, nope. I think actually you make a better point because there's no way I would swipe on someone who says toxic. So I don't know why it's above the five.

This is Lizzie. I'm a confident BBL, ready to see what's out there. I love to travel and love animals. My man needs to be ambitious and responsible. Height. Isn't a big deal for me, but good family values are low body count. And I intend to keep it that way.

But if it happens, it happens shrug. What a weird, what a weird energy to end that with. Yeah. Like why, why put it in at all? Like I don't want to fuck, i might you know who cares like what that's i mean that's kind of like everyone of being like if it happens it happens like you know i mean like like i've i've slept with x amount of people and if if i

do have sex with you it does happen you know like yeah like what are you saying yeah i'm not sure where they're aiming for with that one but uh like it's super bland at best yeah i'm this is one of those things where it's like you put so much focus on what you're looking for and it's so blasé but i don't know people are ambitious and responsible it It's like, who wants someone irresponsible? And lazy. I want a lazy piece of shit that I can't rely on. Right? Like, I just

hate it so much. And it's like, you love traveling animals. Wow. That's the information you've given us. It's like, cool. Again, I don't want to meet someone that's like traveling sucks not animals animals can't stand up get them out of here guys they fucking sicken me i hate those cute little guys yeah like again i don't i don't understand the need to be like

i'm a confident bbl i'm sorry forgot about that. I don't like the... It's weird to slip into fetishization language about yourself, maybe? Yeah, but it's like I have eyes. I can see you. I know you're a lady of a larger stature

and that's fine. I'm either going to be cool with it or I'm not. I'm not going to look at your profile and be like, oh, thank God. She, she's a confident BBL. You know what I mean? Like it's, it's,

it means nothing to me. I assume I'm going to judge based on your pictures. Like almost all of them are her in a bikini. So I can, I can glean that you're very positive about your body. And I love that. That's great. I don't like it.

Show. Don't tell in this situation i don't see what that adds and also again it's like it feels like you're gonna attract the wrong kind of people when you step into that weird like categorization language you know yeah but like maybe maybe i'm wrong i don't know it just seems like uh a strange tack to take especially when you're like oh i won to keep my body count low. Yeah, and I don't really care about the classification. It doesn't

really ping anything for me, but I just mean it would be me saying, white guy, yes, obviously, here I am. It's not difficult to glean this information. It's redundant. Yeah.

So save your profile for things. Show your physicality in your pictures. Show who you are. If you're jacked, by all means, show it off. I'm cool with that. Hi, I'm jacked. I have big muscles. Right?

It sucks. Just being like, I have lots of muscles cool i see i have an average body yeah we know now we saw your profile exactly it's it's just like something like i would rather you strip that away and be like a little bit more precise about who you are as a person i don't want want, cause right now the, that seems to be your only personality is being like, I'm a big, beautiful Latina.

Cool. You got anything else? Because that is not enough for me to be attracted. And I feel like you probably don't want to date someone if that is all that they need. You know what I mean? Yeah. I can give it a four. I'm also going to downgrade the other one to a four as

well um yeah i'm putting this one on four as well because it's that it's once again it's it's the the verbiage that is is tossing me uh and this is sydney unless you're sending me money weekly we are not hooking up sparkle emoji but we can get to know each other and fall in love i'll just steal your funds when we're married shrug emoji so bad sydney seems like she fucking sucks but again if you're on there looking for a sugar daddy like okay it is a good point at least she's being straight up about it yeah no subterfuge here for sydney she wants money more than anything so yeah i do applaud her honesty yeah i think you know once again not for me but if this is the the tactic in which you're like what you're looking for you're not being coy you're not being fucking shady you're not it's not like you're out there just going on dates with hundreds of dudes to get a free meal

and maybe you know a nice something something you, you're laying it on the table. Again, not for me. I also think the profile is pretty bland. I would like, if you're going to be looking for a sugar daddy, I think you need a little bit more personality and maybe a little bit of like what you can offer,

what you can bring to the table. So I'm going to give it a six. Fair. Yeah. There is a weird picture of her doing what looks like a drawing on crayon on her lap. I don't understand what's happening here. Like, she's a grown ass woman. She just seems to be doing some, like, grade school arts and crafts.

I don't know. I mean, I got nothing against someone who loves a good little coloring book or something. Yeah, it's just a weird choice. Do you want one more? more yeah give me one more um this is elizabeth who wants to have gay sex before it's illegal i had two rainbow flags banned from tinder shake my head oh smh my head they couldn't handle the neutron style if you hurt animals for fun don't even look at me. I don't hate this. I don't know what Neutron style is. I just assume it's like Jimmy Neutron.

Jimmy Neutron is the first thing I come with. And like, then I immediately go to the Carl Weiser, like covers of songs. Oh, I think there's a thing. There's a thing called Neutron style from Jimmy Neutron. Apparently.

Hell yeah. Saying you can't handle the Neutron style. It's a 13 second video. I'm going to watch it right now. Fantastic. Report back to me. Okay. He's doing a handstand on a flaming

skateboard going down the street. Yeah. And then he breaks the skateboard, hands it to a watcher who's saying, damn, he's got the moves. And he says, next time somebody give me a board that can handle the Neutron style. And he walks away. Does he actually say damn? What?

Next time. Oh, no. He says like. Okay. No, I was just like. I was paraphrasing. Yeah. Okay, great.

I just want to double check. Maybe he did. I don't fucking know, man. I was just like, okay, Jimmy Neutron going hard. Yeah, okay, great. I just wanted to double check. Maybe he did. I don't fucking know, man. I love that. Damn. I think this might be a 10. With that extra bit of context, I love it. I think it's great.

I think it's everything. It's the right energy for me. Oh, you'd also love this person because they do kind of dress like Jimmy Nemy neutron but not in a bad way i have no idea what that means do they have like the cool little spiky hair no that would be hair that's not dressing i'm just asking they just seem kind of spooky and like cottage corey i don't know okay i would on my list of spooky things, I would put Jimmy Neutron on that list. Well, like, I feel like a lot of, like, spooky girls could also, like, dress, like, super nerdy in a way. Okay. Like, there's, like, nerdy spooky, and then there's spooky spooky.

Like, there's, like, gothic spooky. Yeah. I'll, yeah. I'm looking up Jimmy Neutron right now now because I don't really know if I remember. If I remember correctly, doesn't he just wear like a red shirt? I don't know. I just assume he wears a sweater vest. Maybe I don't know much about Jimmy Neutron.

No, Jimmy Neutron, he's literally like in a Bart Simpson. Like he's wearing like blue pants and a red shirt. What you're really into. Isn't he a big nerd? Isn't he a big nerd? He's a big nerd, but he big nerd but he doesn't have glasses I don't think anyone would look at Jimmy Neutron on the street

from the neck down and be like look at that nerd he just wears a t-shirt I take it all back she dresses like Jimmy Neutron's personality ooh someone has a picture of hot oh Jimmy Neutron's personality. Ooh, someone has a picture of hot for, oh, Jimmy Neutron's in Fortnite

and he's so hot. Hell yeah. Some of the fucking Jimmy Neutron characters are pretty cursed, huh? Pretty much all of them actually. Sheen Estevez is a absolute nightmare. As is Brittany Tonelli. They're all horrendous. Oh,

Jesus, who's that business suit guy? I don't know. Anyway, this is our Jimmy Neutron fan cast now. Yeah, wow. This got away from us. Thank you very much for listening. It has been an absolute pleasure to hang out with you for the hour.

If you got nothing to do this week on Thursday and you're in the Toronto area and you got 10 bucks, that's all you need to have a good time. Yeah. And also if you have something to do, cancel those fucking plans and come anyway. Yeah. It is Black Sheep in Toronto. It is

a cocktail bar and it is lovely. And as now said, we've got drink deals. We got food deals. The show is great. It's a good time. $4 shots as well. $4 shots. You can get pretty tipsy if you want for fuck all

in this economy. $4 shots? This economy? Responsibly. Responsibly. That costs less than a bag of fucking Doritos, man. Yeah. Yeah, it's this Thursday. 7 o'clock. September 21st.

We'd love to see you. Yeah. Please come by. Now, are you ready for a weird bad sex writing? Uh, you've got to do other things. I know. I'm just asking you ready. So you can give your time to get ready.

Yeah, I'm ready. Ah, well, okay. Thank you. Josh Eagle and the Harvest Seas for the song paper stars. Also go check out our Patreon guys. I'm going to check it out. I mean, support us on there, please. We support or no, we release. for the song paper stars also go check out our patreon guys i'm gonna check it out and support us on there please we support or no we release we support you uh every month with an extra episode

if you support us every month for an extra it's true all right uh this is part question part bad sex writing so feel free to answer it if you want to go in and it was posted on weird toronto weird question is semen heavier than liquid soap context my gym has liquid soap containers in the showers that are very easy to adulterate there's no protective covers i've been assuming semen is lighter so i pump out 30 pumps before using the soap just to be on the safe side no i don't want to bring my own soap lol times are tight times tight, but you're fucking wasting 30 pumps of soap? Let me tell you right now, my dude. If there is cum in that soap, it doesn't matter how many times you pump it,

you're washing yourself with a man's cum. Also, surely the pump's at the bottom. So if it's lighter, the more you pump it, the more the cum is. Do you want more cum? Is this what you're saying? Just stir it. lighter, the more you pump it, the closer to cum you're getting. Do you want more cum? Is this what you're saying? Just stir it. Is this the issue?

Look, and also, if I was deviant enough to be like, I'm going to cum into this soap dispenser, I'm mixing that motherfucker up. Also, if I was deviant enough to want my cum on anybody, I wouldn't put it in the one thing that destroys cum. Soap. Soap. You can poop in there and guess what It's soap it cleaned the poop Well Now it's harmless

I don't know if that's what we want to say What else does soap do Dane It cleans it doesn't erase It But like arguably It's the best place to have a cum mixture.

Unless I guess the best place is you know, in someone if you're trying to impregnate them. Okay, that's where we're going to call it. My name is Dave Miller. Well, maybe not mixture. Unless the mixture... My name's Nossman.

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