Goes Without Saying - growing pains, confidence, & cringe: off the record

Episode Date: May 12, 2024

podmothers sephy & wing enter the chat: spiralling on taking things personally, growing up and building confidence, learning to handle rejection, cringe and tom felton. ✷shop ✷ www.sephyandwing.co.ukhear more ✷ www.instagram.com/sephyandwingwatch more ✷ www.tiktok.com/@sephyandwing Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

ACAST powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend. Nature. I've got a gay rooster named Francois. Is so gay. These rams are gay. I'm studying gay animals. Does that mean I'm gay?

So why don't more people know this? I'm Owen Ever. I'm Lane Kaplan-Levinson. And this is a field guide to gay animals. A podcast about queerness in the natural world. The animal kingdom is queer and we are a part. Find a field guide to gay animals on Spotify, Apple. Or wherever you get your podcasts.

Acast helps creators launch, grow and monetize their podcasts everywhere. Acast.com Hey. Hey. Takes us a second. Yeah, it does take us a second. To get into the swing of... We're in the studio. This sort of ensemble.

Yeah. Well, how's everyone doing i'm personally doing good i've been with you non-stop too much no not not too much i thought i so i'm going on holiday on saturday morning but i have been oh that sounds nice the ice in a matcha blueberry blueberry matcha and i've got oh there's no ice left in mine a black coffee so I've been at wings for only a night only one night one night only but it feels like last night I was sort of like doing the maths and I was like oh shit I'm staying for three nights and you were like yeah I know and I was like I didn't I didn't I didn't really ask you if I could do that because I invited you because originally you were gonna basically I realized

that I'm then seeing you on Friday so I was like you may as well stay over on Friday as well because then we're going totally I just sort of didn't realize I just it was one of the things where I was like god I'm really imposing on you you're not it's just like oh my god I'm I'm in your house for three days you're welcome I am thinking do I give you that key and well no give it to your landlord because she doesn't have one does she well it is her key she's like where's my key it's like it's with this girl her name's Sefi uh you'd really like her i told you much about my life partner she actually has the key trustworthy i am trustworthy you are and what

were you saying before that then we've been having a nice time oh i'm going on holiday on saturday but that's so it's just weird i've got all my bags packed but at your house and some of them are going to stay at mine. Yeah, this bag over here, I brought it here to the studio today, that's going to stay at yours with a load of shit in it, if that's okay. Absolutely, yeah. The remnants of you. Just the remnants, you know.

It's your too well scarf. It is, yeah, it is. The other day I went to put my jacket on and I found Sefi's lip balm in there and I really had a moment of like, there she really slipping through my fingers was that just playing in there what song was playing um it was ABBA I don't know it was like we walk it's silent in the studio we walk into the office and it's give me give me give me a man everyone's in today it seems yeah it was it's a bit there's a great working culture here there There is. And sometimes I get really nervous here. Like, I don't know why.

Because there are some men here. And you had an interaction earlier that I wasn't a part of. Well, let's say no more. Oh, okay. Fine. I mean, it wasn't much to say you waved at someone. No, because even that is like, these people, they could watch it and be like, she thinks a lot of a wave.

She thinks a lot of a wave? It's almost like, Jesus, it's only a wave. What do you say about someone? That makes me nervous, and it's like, Jesus, I waved at that girl, and look at her. My ex is out there.

Me and him, we have a whole thing. That guy I was seeing, I've got a lot of history with that guy. Oh, really? What happened? I did wave at him once. He waved at me, and it meant an absurd amount, actually.

Okay. So we're just going to be chatting. We are filming this and to ease us in we're just going to be having a nice chat yeah see what we come up with yeah and we have some questions don't we yeah which we can talk about so let's kick those off now shall we oh one thing we can start off by saying let's pretend that someone said have you seen anyone in the royal family recently? What would your answer be? Well, we were just walking down the road. Yeah.

London Bridge, if anyone's curious. London Bridge. And we had just had, was it a lunch or breakfast? I guess it was a brunch. It could be a brunch. There is a word for it. It was before the hour of 12. Yeah, we had brunch. I had porridge, which is breakfast.

It's Goldilocks. Exactly. And it was just right. It's is breakfast. It was Goldilocks. Exactly. And it was just right. It's the breakfast. Mummy's was too hot. It was too big. What is it? It's too...

The porridge... Just right. It's awful. You awful girl. You eat what you're given. Honestly. It's too... Also, it's too small.

You want me to cook more porridge for you? Is that what she says? This one's too big. This one's too small. This one's just right. Is that chairs? Or something? Oh, maybe. Or maybe the beds. She eats the to cook more porridge for you? Is that what she says? This one's too big, this one's too small, this one's just right. Is that chairs or something? Oh, maybe. Or maybe the beds.

She eats the porridge. Is it too hot? And then someone's is too cold. Too cold. No, you know why? Daddy's was, hers was too hot. No, no. Someone's was too hot.

Mummy's is too cold. Of course it is. Because mummy's let hers go cold because she's been looking after everyone else. And what's the baby's? Oh, the baby's was just right. So who's goldie locks so she's come into the bear's home and she's gone she's eaten the dads up too hot she's burned her mouth she's cooled it down on the mum's porridge she's ravenous she's coming on her period she is we've been talking i get it

we've actually been talking about this ravenous feeling before you come on your period which look it's extreme it's not revolutionary to talk about god you get hungry good one when it hits that period i'm powerful yeah it's it's daenerys with a heart in her hands and she's there's nothing i won't eat army hammer style be very afraid i will eat the more the merrier as much as like it's mental it's crazy i had it when i was at your house i had i was a dog sitting aussie wings dog and i was coming on my period and my period was late so i was in this sort of stage of ravenous behavior this kind of purgatory yeah and it was the best purgatory of all time i could not get full that feeling when you eat something and you're like how am i still hungry yeah and it's just faded like two days ago i went out for dinner with my friend i was like

that phase is over i'm back in my like normal appetite now which is gutting but i get especially ravenous it's insane i feel like as well when you're quite um a tracker of the period you become aware of the cycles and you know take more note of it because I feel like before I would just be like I'm a bit hungry I'm hungry that was what I was for years yeah you know I'm just really hungry but now it's like oh no you know why you've been hungry for a week like oh my god best I think if you're in that stage enjoy it like food is a crazy thing and I know people that i mean it's so hard not to have a complex relationship with it and but i do think that bit where your body is literally

telling you eat eat eat you've been told yeah it's told you've been warned and i don't want to tell you twice heed my words eat because actually it is the most um enjoyable um period of a period it's just before just before that man over there um i'm also scared i've got lipstick on my teeth so i'm just gonna quickly okay i could check for you um but you don't trust me well i've got a red lipstick on i wanted why don't you leave that mirror a bit closer to hand i know that was the only check okay well okay um i have no idea so have you seen anyone from the royal family recently boy have i we're walking down the road after london bridge jesus goldilocks just right skipped it yeah yeah we're walking down the road we see

a man who do i see there's a policeman blowing his whistle and I said not to him not to his face really big bollocks I was like don't you dare blow that whistle at me I said sir to wing just a joke just a joke between two friends just a joke I didn't say it to a man on the street um and then we see a car oh okay it's the royal family coming through and we peer in who's in there the queen Camilla Camilla and potentially the king he was on the other side if he was there which is annoying she was with someone yeah probably was him who else she was she's got any friends being a floozy which wouldn't be the first time well if i know camilla that's someone's husband in love. Yeah, no, totally. Joking. I don't really care. No, totally.

But I am obviously team Diana. If there's teams... Team Edward. To be honest, not even a question, is it? It goes without saying. Imagine, I think I'm team Camilla.

It's like, you chose wrong. God, see how... All right. That man up there is quite distracting, isn't he? He's cooking something. Oh, there's another one.

There's like a block of flats, I guess he's cooking some dinner i think dinner whatever time lunch he can have what he wants um he looks like eston bloomington he really actually is his it's camilla okay this is a nice one it's a bit random yeah how do you deal with emotional growing pains oh badly i like that terminology yeah growing pains do you remember getting growing pains as a kid just quickly we will get to the question i promise i yeah i do but i didn't grow for that long i just sort of grew and then i just stopped everyone else kept going but i really i think were you ever a tall child yeah i was tall yeah because i think i just grew to this height oh well no wonder you think you're tall

yeah so true because i actually told me speaking of goldilocks i played daddy bear in a panto. Okay. Horrible. I don't know how I feel about that. The director was particularly... The director? The director. It was also amateur, like, dramatics. I would assume.

But she did very much identify as the director. Well, yeah. And she cast me. There were loads of kids, and I was, I guess, the tallest one, but she would always make me the man. And she just had an issue with me because I couldn't sing, I think. wouldn't smile that was the other thing she didn't like I bet you can sing well no I wasn't like gonna get solos and that's fine I've made my peace with it god well it's hurting my feelings but I wouldn't smile on cue which is obviously not a great does that mean

like she's like poppy smile smile and it's like I'm not smiling for you Linda with her name Linda why would I smile crack a joke but then now in hindsight I do think you are in a fucking Smile. Smile. And it's like, I'm not smiling for you, Linda, was her name. Linda. Why would I smile for you? Crack a joke. But then now in hindsight, I do think you are in a fucking pantomime. So what were you doing, moody by moody? I was just doing the dance. That even made me too happy.

No way. I was probably like this. Singing. What song were we singing? We did, hey, big spender. Oh, my God. I'd be laughing my mouth off. Spend a little time with me. Oh my God. I'd be laughing my mouth off.

Spend a little time with me, but glum. Hey, big spender. I actually think she gave that song to herself, if my memory serves me. Oh, so she's in, she's starring now. And she would take a lot of the good parts. With some children. No, no, it was all adults. There were like four children.

I was one of the kids. Ah, right the plot thickens but she would give herself the role see this is what we mean by tangent though like what how are we how the hell are we i only wanted to know what the hell are we at the pan what was the question that i asked though have you ever had growing pains and somehow linda's being mentioned. Well, Linda, you cross me when I'm six years old. I'll hold on to it for 10 years. Longer. 11. Much longer.

And I think I'll take it for a long time. Take it to my grave. Yeah. Well, now it's bothered me. Because she, okay, just to quickly say what she did. I actually think it was really out of order. All my family were coming. My granny, everyone was coming to see the panto.

I did it for many years. God, his wife's getting involved now his wife's looking at what he's cooking like that's not looking good Heston I think they've gone too far this time you've taken it too far Linda sorry you know I want to know I want to know yeah I'm so sorry um so just before so everyone was there it was like we'd learned we been practicing. This has been going on every Sunday. We'd been going to rehearsals for months, literally months of my life.

Okay. I was probably about 10. Explaining so much. Yeah, no, so much. Oh, okay, you were 10. I was about 10, yeah. So you're not, no offense, cute anymore. No, I remember-

It's very much pubescent child. Being in a, yeah, being in a show. You've got a sort of boobs. And the director said, you guys, the u-tier of people you're not young enough you're not small enough to be cute anymore so you need to actually be good yeah you're not tiny you're not waving to your parent and it's like no no you're not tiny you need to be good which is a hard pill to swallow it is also i think i was the oldest of the kids well i wasn't actually the oldest but i think i was one of you know the tallest maybe I was maybe the first to develop of those kids yeah so it was almost like oh it's

horrible well let's make her daddy bear let's make her dad someone's got to do it and there are no boys there but then the thing was so it would learn all these dances so but you were dancing in pairs so I was dancing with a kid at the front like sort of like you're doing you've learned one way right before we went on stage she came backstage and she was she was like poppy that's what people call it at home um you're going to the back and dancing with like ian at the back on the other side like so i didn't know the dance with this old man right about the tallest of the old men so literally hidden because it went in high order right at the back and i obviously was going to cry because she was like and you won't smile and it wasn't like i was being like I'm not making I'm not smiling on purpose it was like I I was 10 why did you say and you

won't smile she was like and I've told you many times you need to keep this smile on and if you can't do it and you have had your chances and you're at the right back now and it was honestly like I was gonna actually say something like wobbling mouth I was gonna give you some um adoration there as usual and say she probably moved you to the back because there had been a change of plan, and she thought, who's the most reliable kid here that I can switch? No, it wasn't that. If I move Peppy, if I move Poppy, she'll know what she's doing.

Yeah, no, it wasn't that. But no, maybe I might start calling you Peppy. No, I don't like that. You are Peppy, though. You've got a big old Peppy on your head. It's a bit Animal Crossing. Yeah, that's cute. I like it, but I don't like it personally.

All right, fine. Because I had a fish called Pepper. Oh, okay. So it just kind of brings her up. Okay, her toes. Sorry, mine. Anyway, sorry, have you ever had growing pains? Yeah.

How long did you have them for? Yeah, my knees used to hurt all the time. Next question. Ooh. Ouch. Knees. Yeah. Emotional growing pains though though I do like that I feel like that's kind of something that we touch on a lot I do think it's like it does you actually do have to

grow into a new emotion into life yeah you do like almost your first rejection is that okay so that's not a thing that now I just know how to deal with rejection that's you have to grow into it so the next time it's like I need to actually go through the emotions of dealing with that so by the next one okay I might be slightly better it's not like oh lesson learned first yeah each one I think life happens to you and you must adjust accordingly and make it snappy pronto because you're getting things thrown at you left and right yeah and center left right and center and you can't go under you can't go over it you have to go through what the fuck is this so true though you have to go through it like there's actually no other way yeah and we

actually had a conversation just this very morning and we were saying like how do you get better at not taking things personally or like how do you get better with being rejected and things like that and it's like I said one of the only things I think is you just get used to it yeah maybe it doesn't necessarily get easier or your relationship to it doesn't change that much it's just quite scary it just happens more often and then you get used to it yeah kind of stop caring because we as humans will acclimatize very quickly to like weird things yeah especially we have this conversation sometimes where and you see it all the time with kids in good and bad ways but a kid will experience something a young child and they think that is normal there's no scope or perspective beyond that experience of what they're having

so if it's a negative one for example they maybe don't know how bad of a situation they're in because they've got no awareness of what that would be outside of that it's just normal and when something becomes your normal you become very good at dealing with it what's up with you look at him he's actually chopping into the window is he gonna throw scraps out the window i don't know what's going on up here but he is literally is he cooking on the window so i don't know what he's doing his his stove must literally be right there nice big window though amazing great spot and he's got best seats in the house but literally i genuinely think that is heston cooking up an absolute storm because what is going on you've got a better view than me for sure

it's really quite um like we can almost see the plate that bit when he was cutting just that just be able to dig in a little bit closer i would just love to zoom up i hope he shows us the final buzzfeed tasty genuinely okay anyway i'm so sorry i really just caught my eye that that was like i can actually see that you're chopping like a pepper sorry from quite a distance but go on sorry um i'm done there i think one thing that i did love that you said when you were talking about it earlier was that you were like the things that bothered you when you were nine yeah don't bother you anymore no it's like because you've fully grown through that period i believe that you will grow it doesn't matter that's all you've been doing growing god look at you at nine I used to look at the year sixes or like the 40 I swear to god they were 40 why do they have four beards honestly I used to look at the people a few years older than me in school and think oh my god I can't even imagine

them talking in class like I used to think I can't imagine them all being sat down in a lesson because they're all too big they would look ridiculous yeah I used to think like what people like sit in a classroom that's insane and then before you know it you're like 18 in sixth form for example do you know what I had a huge revelation with that not even it's like obviously you look at year sevens now and you think jesus christ children but i i've told you this do you remember so recently so this was that happened when i was really really really young and i've always been obsessed with the actor will porter yeah will yes yes he's in the bear i know where you're not the guy from the bear but he's in the bear he's absolutely divine he has a you know an episode to himself really it's a real pocket episode

it's time to shine in amsterdam he looks so fucking good in it i've always loved him he was in a film when he was so young called son of rambo and he's a few years older than me i don't know how old he was in that film but i watched that when i was really young but he's like oh my god this guy i love him in fucking a child but he always seemed so much older and me and my friend gemma queen love her shout out one of my oldest oldest friends absolute queen of my life yeah which side is your heart there um and we once covered her bedroom in pictures of like Zac Efron Alex Pettifer was a big one we defiled it we absolutely defiled her room we printed out images from the internet on her

family printer color color printers yeah we got i think that's great it's not it's not what you really want it's not cheap as shit it's like there are people working in this house i haven't bought ink for a printer i don't have a printer do you have a printer i used to but i got rid of it yeah i got rid of mine yeah printers yeah i mean it's not that deep i would love to have one same but i almost think, but I almost think I wouldn't trust what I would get up to with a printer. Wendy's Small Frosty is the ultimate summer refreshment. And not because it's cool and creamy and made with fresh Canadian dairy. It's also refreshingly cheap.

Just 99 cents until July 14th. It's a treat for you and your wallet. ACAST powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend. Nature. I've got a gay rooster named Francois. Is so gay. These rams are gay.

I'm studying gay animals. Does that mean I'm gay? So why don't more people know this? I'm Owen Ever. I'm Lane Kaplan-Levinson, and this is a field guide to gay animals. A podcast about queerness in the natural world. The animal kingdom is queer, and we are a part. Find a field guide to gay animals on Spotify, Apple, or wherever you get your podcasts. Acast helps creators launch, grow, and monetize their podcasts everywhere. Acast.com

Do you know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah, go on. We printed out all these photos and we loved this show it was on channel four it's called school of comedy he was in it and he seemed they seemed so old in that it was almost like god they were adults and we were like oh my god we love it will port and i actually might have to like get my phone to show you a photo of this guy i'll put it on the screen i need you to see it though okay i could google it she's on the move yeah sorry it's really not what you want in a podcast is it someone getting up every two seconds um so i um we i found this photo of will porter and we were like oh my god you're like this is it oh my god and i remember having such a feeling of like that is the like i

love him like i absolutely love him and i found it I found a photo of me in Gemma's room. Oh, I saw it recently. You showed me on the show. And we were like this in her room. Oh, God. And the photo of Will Walter is behind me. And, oh, my God, it's a baby. I just had a fear then, if that makes it into the video,

I just touched my boob because earlier I went to the toilet and I put a tampon in between my boobs so that I could take it into the bathroom. And then I just had a thought, is it poking out? But it isn't. God, that would be bad. I put it back into my bag. But that's horrible to think like oh god I've done 20 minutes of an episode with the tampons my babe oh my god I don't even know I think it was this one it's a baby and I remember thinking like god that's an adult and I was like that's a baby right yeah don't tell me ever I don't want to hear from any

of you that your perspective hasn't changed or you haven't grown and you're not capable of like dealing with whatever's going on now and then you'll get over it and if you don't think you've changed and grown look at the photo of the person that you fancied the photo of Zac Efron that you thought god Troy Bolton watch High School Musical 1 that Bolton. Watch High School Musical 1. That's a baby. Watch High School Musical 1. That's good advice generally, actually. I was thinking, I saw the beautiful clip where she goes, Troy, and he goes, right now I can hardly breathe. Oh, you can do it just don't let her believe.

I saw that clip, it was like going around, and I thought, we have to watch maybe even the trilogy. Yeah, yeah. I'd do that. You don't like don't like two though it's not my favorite which is my favorite i do like it but it's not my favorite it goes one three two one three mine goes two one three i appreciate three being last to be honest because it's the one i know the least yeah it's like i'm like 12 by that point it's like yeah let's move and it's in cinemas it's the one I know the least to be honest yeah it's like I'm like 12 by that point it's like yeah let's move on and it's in cinemas it's like this is all wrong maybe older

it needs to be I don't know number one is literally like but the budget for three like that was huge it was a kick from three and I thought

this is actually a masterpiece yeah and I think we should watch it I think we should revisit it I would love to watch number one especially same sorry go on

it's so beautiful imagine being cast in that that's a fucking dream that's genuinely I don't give a fuck if Linda's directing me i'm having the time of my life smooching Zac Efron you've been smooching with everybody you've been smooching my brother you'll be smooching with everybody it's a lie get down on your knees and tell me you love me it's a lie tell me you love me it really is that is I believe you but my tummy gun don't that's the bit I love so bloody good right growing Jesus how do you deal

with it though what would your advice be if someone was like look I'm just feeling like I'm at a weird point in my life things are changing I'm not sure how I feel what would you say maybe like you don't need to know how you really don't I also think does anyone if things are changing I'm not sure how I feel what would you say maybe like you don't need to know how you really don't I also think does anyone if things are changing in your life you probably don't know like it's a bit of a weird thing to be like oh everything's changing and I know exactly how it's gonna go it's like if anyone said that it's actually I hate to burst your bubble but you don't get used to the idea of not knowing what's going on yeah well does he oh the only thing you know like the only thing is certain is death and taxes yeah and literally not having a fucking clue

where you're going yeah like that is kind of if you're asking us anyway that's the kind of advice i've actually been thinking recently some people really do have a different perspective yeah go on we are quite strange I think I think we might be I yeah the feedback I'm getting from the world seems to be something about you something's going on I don't like yeah I know it's not for me there's just something quite specific about the energy that yeah yeah but I also think we bring it out of each other in a weird way definitely because also it is I'm not necessarily like like the conversations that we have with anyone else no with no one else no it's almost like I was actually thinking about this this about you I'm so grateful to have this

friendship where every line of inquiry is indulged do you know i think we do everything everything everything leads something it's not like i can't be bothered to talk about fucking goldilocks whatever it is everything will go there every bit is um performed to its full extent everything is taken to its conclusion yeah we do we wear it down we do we'll put it to the test we drag it through the mud have legs no i'm happy to leave goldilocks here will never be mentioned again it probably will never and i'm and we took it to its full conclusion give her her time she was just give her her moment and then discard yeah right but no one people don't do that no because if if i start they don't have the time frankly and he's lucky to meet someone that has a time. Doesn't have a lot going on.

And also wants to do it professionally. I think I could do this ongoing. Forever. Go chopping. That's nuts. I thought he'd finished, Ali. He's put the light on. Have you noticed that?

Couldn't quite see what he was doing. He is. I've never seen someone cook so intense intensely that's like what are you possibly preparing god I do want to know oh man it's will the bear it's really not no it's not it's really not well thanks I appreciate it I do think it's most people it's like okay so I have a like we have a thought about this thing that we think is interesting most people kind of think yeah it's not really that interesting or whatever like yeah okay it's just a passing thought but really we take everything we take our time very seriously and I like we keep each other updated on yeah uh different things like we honor the

we honor a lot of things yeah we do really give it a lot of room and which i think is so genuine curiosity i love hearing what you like about me anything else i do really like that about yes so much so much i could keep going i love hearing what it was a passing thought and i always always something weird yeah yeah it's never you're nice you're friendly it's always you we take things to their conclusions and I do think that was a thought I was having I was walking down the road thinking so lucky to no one out I don't I literally don't have that with anyone else that's really nice and you do that's that's my special something it's one of the my favorite things that we do together is like for example

we've got one coming up Tom Felton's song i haven't heard this you told me about it and i know that we'll spend hours on that should we do it now yeah i'm dying to hear it so i really was like i need this reaction i'm excited just to have because even if this doesn't go anywhere it would be a devastating blow to my soul if we didn't so basically um so tom felton apparently has released a song i know that he like i've seen some videos of him on a guitar oh fuckeroo i'm nervous for him yeah oh god i haven't seen that much about it but if you haven't seen much about it either he's he's in the laughing stocks i'll put it that way they've sent him to the laughing stock oh god he's he's being roasted by the kids on tiktok and so he was like that's my husband no

i know i didn't say it's my husband and i was like yeah no we are letting that go you know i think i have to and also it's not my husband but it's malfoy like how is that after this conversation he's never your husband wow i think it's that devastating it's just like it's got the will porter syndrome it's almost like you're oh you're um malfoy oh my god you're a deity i wouldn't be that far but you could you're malfoy almost if he walked into this office god the energy would change the energy would change and the last i saw from him so um weirdly he was in that play 22 22 is it called 22 22 i think so and i saw that and i saw planet the apes the other day the really old one not the really really old one but the oldest of the new ones right and he was doing a terrible american accent being like come on then chimps if you

if you think you're so clever chimps. He wasn't saying that, but he was like electrocuting them. Better performance in that, I think, than what we're about to hear. I haven't heard the whole thing. He just threw something out the window.

Oh my God, he did. He just threw something out of the window. I bet it was water. It was a towel with things in it. Lots of stuff. What am I watching right now? That's really like medieval England. Really unbearable to listen to and to watch.

Like, I bet you just wish we could turn this around if you're watching this. It's nothing that exciting. It's a man in a window, to be honest. But it is weird to throw things out of the window. In Shoreditch. He's not on, you know, ground first floor. He's up, up, up and away.

In London. You're not in sort of the country. I could throw things out my window all day. No one would know. You wouldn't fall into your garden. It's kind of compost. Fall into my gutter. It's like, he's just throwing it out into the street.

Onto London. Passes by. Onto the city of London. Okay. Oh my God. Tom Felton, take it away. Can I see some visuals? Did he make that?

Well, it looks like it, doesn't it? What do you think? Sponsored by Can i see some visuals did he make that well it looks like it didn't it what do you think sponsored by canada did he make that what do you think sephie oh my god why is he orange that's an ad by the way i haven't been watching that it's sponsored it's fine if you have i haven't holding on what's with the oh god i don't like this already okay no top comment i hope this song is satire shut the fuck up what is this what is this we can't play it to you i know furiosa advert you want to see that i would watch it with you yeah i'd watch it with you okay okay can we pause okay i actually need some time with that i didn't really expect the voice to come in so straight away wait okay sorry i just i told you we needed to film this

he's sitting on a skateboard right and do you know why that's crazy yes because she saw that he drew god as a guy with a girl a girl on a skateboard with a backwards cap take it away tom wait can we play this i'll play little bits of it i'll cut around it he's laughing his head off linda's in the back saying smile laugh i don't like that. Oh, Tom. Why is it called orange?

Two patches on my kneecap. I love that line. Oh, God. Two patches on my kneecap. Okay. Ready? Yeah. I wish I'd heard that.

I hate cringing. I hate the feeling of let's just let's brave it come on oh fudge fudge okay grand cornelius fudge i'm sure at the shaking i will fudge this thing up with two pedas on my kneecap oh my god oh my goodness that feels sick that i really what i really can't cope with is the top track and then the the bottom kind of man-made echo thing yeah I really I'm quite struggling with that and the echoes were homemade love that bit where you say two pages of money it was so good I had to keep whoa can we keep going if you want I really struggled with that bit but I would love to keep going going. What?

Is this about Emma Watson? Is this a threat? I don't really know what's going on. At the top of his range. Bad! Oh no! that's crazy i don't know what to do let's let him go yeah let's let him go there's no stopping do your worst rich taylor taylor swift's been real quiet since this drama this is actually a hard listen i think my eyes are watering you imagine the golden trio finding this oh um god that's content for days in the griffindor common room harry's best day since his parents were alive oh my god since he looked in the mirror of Erised he sees that fudge this thing up that's crazy why

did he do that fudge everybody now so he did so he's got hilarious that he thought that it would have some real power if he said fudge twice and then he thought the third one will be fuck and that will blow everyone away that I've said fuck why would you do that can i say something so weird is there a thing about the first 30 seconds of a youtube video not being allowed to swear if you're going to monetize it maybe that's fucking mental no i think maybe there's a thing like you can't play it on the radio if you swear you can more than one like maybe he's like okay we can have one swear word in the song version well also there really isn't that much impact between once you've said fudge in your song it obviously has a silly now there's no going back from that it has a silliness to it

not just in your song in your life i'm sure i will fudge sorry i didn't mean to fudge that up boom boom boom why is it fudge you and viva pinata fudge hog anyone remember that i don't know what that is what the hell bloody hell i'm sure we'll fudge this thing up don't do that yikes should we just let him end it let's see what the ending is let him i think that was self-help yeah take it to it to its conclusion it's definitely about Emma Watson right 117 come off it Holding on to the memories

Whatever he's saying It's about Emma Watson 100% Who was this girl from when he was 17 It was that girl that's in one of the films I don't know how much of that you heard guys Because we might have to cut a lot of that out I hear there's copyright issues

With things like that Yeah I just wouldn't want to push my luck No that's a We played a whole song It's not worth it as well it's really not i can't believe fudge this thing up that's my main takeaway from that the other day i was talking to sephia about it and i was like i have to play it for you oh god and i was saying but it's bad it's bad and you were like like oh whatever blah blah and i was like however bad you're thinking it's so make it a little bit worse do you get yes yeah like i don't even know where to start about that but from the moment i saw the graphic why would he do that surely he has someone that can a friend so why is it called a volunteer even i don't know imagine tom felton messages you saying can i do that he's not gonna do that now

is he i've burnt my bridge I made my choice I sided with Harry a long time ago Daniel Radcliffe would never no offence none of the goldens would

the goldens those goldens would never no that's probably the worst thing anyone has ever done

from the ice the existence of humanity probably from that film other than obviously all the JK Rowling so that's probably

the worst thing but like somehow thatling so that's probably the worst thing that's more heinous somehow jesus jesus jesus wow but like that yeah that was embarrassing and i and my heart actually does go out to you tom like why have you done that like just i yeah i don't really know what to say more yeah wow strong ending yeah beautiful there's no topping that really i will fudge this thing up why are you saying that don't utter another word honestly zip it you is that it came in so quick there's not even there's no there was no adjustment period basically i didn't have any growing growing pain give me a chance to grow into the fact that you're singing

a song here you're changing your whole identity kind of it is changed you're really emphasizing the fact that i can't justify you any longer that's i think the thing is how there's some things that i maybe could look past and i can't look past a lot of it it's like you seemed like you look you're fucking malfoy like you're literally malfoy that how much can you embarrass you're literally malfoy you're the villain but the kind of cool one of my childhood but somehow when i hear you singing the skateboard look up like just a boy on my skateboard with my little kneecaps. Ha, ha, ha. Fudging up. Why was it called Orange?

Should have been called Fudge. It's called Holding On. Oh, the album's called Orange. Holding On. What's with the letters in there that way? I don't know. See, everyone was like, why does it say Old? Like, he's capitalised Old O.

Old O. So is that just a style thing? Or were you trying to leave a secret message? Also, it's about growing up, so it'd be cool if you did old. But Oldo doesn't really make sense. And on that note, if you don't hear from us, assume the worst. We'll be right back. And not because it's cool and creamy and made with fresh Canadian dairy.

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