Goes Without Saying - Sad Girl manifesto: if you don't hear from me...

Episode Date: March 11, 2024

podmothers sephy & wing enter the chat: spiralling on mental health, therapy, sadness, privilege, authenticity, vulnerability, and coping (badly). ✷shop ✷ www.sephyandwing.co.ukhear more ✷ www.instagram.com/sephyandwingwatch more ✷ www.tiktok.com/@sephyandwing Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Wendy's Small Frosty is the ultimate summer refreshment. And not because it's cool and creamy and made with fresh Canadian dairy. It's also refreshingly cheap. Just 99 cents until July 14th. It's a treat for you and your wallet. ACAST powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend. Nature. I've got a gay rooster named Francois. Here's a show that we recommend. And this is a field guide to gay animals. A podcast about queerness in the natural world.

The animal kingdom is queer and we are a part. Find a field guide to gay animals on Spotify, Apple. Or wherever you get your podcasts. ACAST helps creators launch, grow, and monetize their podcasts everywhere. Acast.com Goes Without Saying, you're listening to Goes Without Saying with Sefi and Wing. I'm Wing. And I'm Sefi. This is actually a really wholesome episode, I think.

We've spoken a lot about mental health. Sefi, you look like you're about to cry even i don't know what's going on over there oh okay you're just having the time of your life this is such a nice one i feel like it's very much like harry i speak directly to you like we're very much kind of sitting you down holding your shoulders not letting you leave until you hear out every last word um i just want to make sure everyone's okay if you're feeling like you're struggling in any way i hope this episode can make you feel a little bit like you've got sephine wing here for you whoever that is love you lots enjoy bye bye hi

oh god hello hello can i just get out of the way because i i do feel the need to announce that the energy for me personally is off okay and i hope everyone's okay with that i'm personally i know everyone is but i encourage it okay good i encourage however you feel in every moment to be okay but i don't feel great that's fine i did say so we just did a take and I said I'm going back to my roots. I'm connecting with my true identity. I've gone back to my true form of being melancholic. Yeah. And I am feeling the melancholy, but it's fine.

That's fine. Yeah, it's fine. Do you want to talk about it? I just would like to say that it's UK Mother's Day and happy UK Mother's Day to all the pod mothers out there to everyone involved yes yes and that's all i hope everyone's okay but also to everybody that does find that difficult like we were even just we were talking about it before but i feel like it's as soon as there's a day where you're aware of being triggers around it i was just walking around in my life earlier just being like god it tough day actually it's a bit but yeah it's kind of

confronting i think it's just like oh i didn't realize you needed another thing on your plate yeah sort of thing but anyway it's fine it's obviously fine everything's fine in life well it can be fine and hard at the same time and i'm also coming on my period so i feel like it's just making the emotion more accessible to me it's an amplifier the natural amplifier of course it truly is the natural amplifier yeah if you have a need for amplification just wait around for your period to roll around oh it's difficult it is difficult i've just come off mine thank god today's my last day i'm right on time you're way on you're always on track of it i am i'm always on top of you you know what's going on internally i know where you're at um i also just quickly off the top i'm having so much fun with our little videos that we're doing and oh my god i know we've said this time and time

again but we are actually being quite on it like they're pumping out every day whether you're there or not so i wouldn't mind them not falling on deaf ears i wouldn't mind someone being there to receive it go and look at our instagram and just see if there's anything funny there there's stuff on tiktok like they're good they're entertaining they're stunning i'm entertained i'm watching them multiple times i'm watching them hundreds of times i could roll them off my heart if i needed to i was actually um me and my friend the other day were like let's go work in a coffee shop together we were like let's just go let's go and just sort of i'll do some reading and she came back she like went and got a pot of tea for us and she came back she said what are you doing i was like just watching a video of myself it's so good i love that we have recorded conversations and like videos of us it's it really

does make me laugh my nut off same i just think it's so funny and i really just think it's like i just think this should go viral you said to me this morning you're like it hasn't i was like i know it really hasn't we could i might keep i might do a few different directors cuts the same clip i just think that is so funny and i love it the yanni laurel one yeah it's funny i think that's so yeah it's iconic well anyway we're having fun we are amongst all the shit i hope you are too yeah thoughts on today what are we um delivering what we're having fun we are amongst all the shit i hope you are too yeah thoughts on today what are we um delivering what we're cooking today the um offering from on the on the menu yeah the offering honestly you can do what you will with this honestly do your worst special today yeah we're talking about choosing to be happy even when things are a bit shit which is quite apt

i think for both of our lives it makes sense on this very day on this particular occasion it was inspired by a message that somebody got um that we got that somebody sent somebody received we received this message that somebody sent but i've forgotten it was very kindly go on so it was someone saying that the best advice they had had was to just drop the sword and stop picking their life apart and let themselves be happy yeah wow love that for us i love drop the compliments to the chef drop the sword it's like why are you jesus we were all in armour, carrying swords. Jesus. Honestly, knight in shining armour. Knight in shining armour.

It's a bit dramatic. That's why... Put your chainmail on. It rings. Chainmail. Dressed for the occasion. It's like, oh God, what's the occasion? It's like, oh, I'm just, you know, in the trenches.

It's kind of in, what's it called? Saltburn. Oh, I can wear my suit of armour. Armour. Elspeth.burn. Oh, I can wear my suit of armour. Elspeth. Elspeth, I can wear my suit of armour, Elspeth. Which, to be honest, I would love to wear a suit of armour. I would. That would be a fun costume for us.

Suits of armour. Clunking around. Should we do that? I would love to. Is that which one's which? Let's write that down somewhere. Yeah, let's write it. That would be good.

Should we message Freya and just say, like, get us in a suit of armor at some point i don't know why just something for the vision board suit of armor i would love to have some kind of duel with you oh i don't want to do what i thought was us against kind of the world not us against each other we're doing um jousting okay well i've never done that before i don't know it's kind of the thing you would have done like brownies or something i don't know yes a little bit i'm in shrek you play badminton. That's kind of equivalent. No, no. They are very different. They're kind of the same.

Oh, thank God. That's what you think we do in the sort of countryside. That's a bit of jousting today. It would make sense. I would absolutely love to. Alright, well, we can give it a go. Anyway, we're talking about how to choose to be happy in shit circumstances.

I would love to know. I was writing in my journal this very morning. Go on, take it away. Tell us about it. I was writing about how I'm in a shit period of life right now. Like, that to me feels very undeniable. It's like, and for a while I was kind of confused. I was like, God, I'm really, everything feels so shit right now.

And I was like, is this just my life? Is my life shit? Like, that is just a question I have. Yeah, kind of what is was like god i'm really everything feels so shit right now and i was like is this just my life is my life shit like that is just a question i have yeah kind of what is going on right now almost once you've been in a week of it it's like oh i think my life is shit like i can't see outside of it and then i was kind of thinking i was like no there's so much going on right now it's not my life like you are happy in general this is a shit period period and that felt like a big distinction to make of like oh yeah no this is actually hard so like we need to call in all the calling all the armor like come on this is like a shit period right now here i come yeah yeah here she comes she's on her horse here she comes in a suit of armor clunk perfect just who i needed on her trusted steed or whatever with ozzy my noble steed um and that was quite cute it hurts

um and i was just thinking like okay so if this is going to be a shit period and i don't particularly see that a way out of that right now like there's nothing i can do to make it to fix any of the problems like things are happening outside of my control and that's just it yeah if it has to be shit and painful what are the things i can do what's in my control basically and the only thing that's in control to me is like how i treat myself and the people around me that's really it yeah and my priority is like being kind to everyone being being kind to myself, making it as comfortable as possible to me for myself. Yeah.

Step one, tidy my room. Yesterday, did a big tidy. Cleaned everything. Dusted. Hoovered. You know the drill. Nice. Everything.

Fresh flowers. We've done it. Oh, beautiful. Yeah. Everything. Perfect. That's an important thing for me. I've realised this year.

Everything's perfect all of a sudden. I'm cured. Suddenly it's more bearable. I can play my Switch games in a comfortable room. Mother what everything's fine everything's okay yeah everything's perfect actually yeah also just things like eating things that i like i'm getting outside moving my body seeing the people that are really important to me all of this stuff and i was just like actually there are ways that you can look after yourself in a shit situation to make it less shit because time will keep passing it will pass things will happen and the only thing you really can decide like choose is whether you want to make

that harder or easier for yourself i actually think it's hugely important like figuring out where you have ownership in life and where you don't like yeah the things that you have control over especially if you're not one of the few people who have been gifted in life with like an easy route which i'm sure some people out there think that no one has it easy but i actually disagree i think people definitely do have it easy in life this is actually quite a big theme for us at the moment i think yeah we're seeing some people obviously everything's on a spectrum but it's like oh no some people actually do have yeah things are on a spectrum and there is an end of that spectrum that is of course there is totally it's not to undermine it's crazy it's not to undermine the struggles of any human being

individually out there in the world but it is i think like a classist racist sexist etc concept to push on people that everybody has struggles as if they are all equal they are not all equal and that's not to say that seffy and wing are particularly hard done in the grand scheme of things but it's just to acknowledge that out there some people do have easier lives with a lack of depth to be honest in their life and that is separate yeah but in your specific life when you've been dealt this particular hand and maybe things going wrong or right etc figuring out what you have control over is such an important way to find empowerment in an otherwise really challenging and kind of helpless existence yeah like when it's things out of your control that are going wrong or when there

are things out of your control that are really hard for you finding literally the small things of at least i'm in control of what i'm having for breakfast at least i can make sure like i have a cup of tea rather than nothing like get uh getting outside i it's my choice whether i lie in bed right now or leave the house that's such a simple thing but actually god i was actually thinking this about like how small of a thing is transformative to like a mood like i think we think of our moods as quite fixed but or like i'm in a bad mood so it's a bad day or i'm in a good mood so that will last a bit of time it's like actually god they change like the fucking wind these things these moods yeah and

today i was literally walking down the street not particularly in a good mood but just kind of like just fine sort of thing yeah and a guy just like paused for me on the like there was a car sort of parked on the pavement and he just like moved out of the way and i was like thanks and he just gave me such a nice little smile and i was like why did that such a tiny tiny interaction actually like have an effect on my mood like i actually was like oh that was a nice interaction even though it's so small and i was just kind of surprised by i mean it wasn't like um particularly exciting um interaction it was just a random guy but it was like i'm just amazed at how small sometimes the thing that you need that you we almost think when you're in a shit period i need to change everything everything is fucked and

everything needs to get changed i need to do this and this and this i'm such a failure oh my god but actually it's like no actually you just need to speak to someone just to smile at someone on the fucking street 100 i think it also moves it from the abstract into something like really tangible it's like when your mood especially when you're in a bad mood it's so abstract or just like everything's shit or like i feel like shit blah blah blah and moving that into like tangible life and almost kind of taking the science into your own hands to like manipulate the chemicals of what are going on and it's kind of like you said like getting out of bed and going outside is simple but also that could be literally like the biggest challenge of your

year so far yeah and shout out to you if that is yeah um you so lovely to be with you right now so honestly an honor an honor bestowed onto us really um yeah i think moving it from the abstract and also like kind of something i say all the time which is really annoying to everyone but it's like you're not a medical anomaly no you're just a human being it's like i reckon there's probably a good few reasons why you feel the way that you feel and if you move it out of the abstract and into the tangible we could probably locate a few different ways that we could identify and create some like resolutions for you as opposed to just like sitting in this kind of shitty squalor horrible feeling 100 but that in itself is really hard because when you feel shit is obviously when you

most feel like um oh you don't want to do franchised or yeah yeah you don't feel empowered to like go outside and do all these amazing things that are going to make you feel better they don't fix it they're not magic no i think there's um sort of what leads to like that feeling of like oh they're just the hopelessness of like oh but i did go outside and it didn't do anything or i did eat a banana and it didn't it wasn't but then i think it's about having love for yourself to be able to do that like this is actually something that i say particularly as well when people are talking about trying to get therapy in the nhs like in the uk from the nhs sorry or like on the nhs and they're like oh it's gonna be a waiting list it's gonna be that or like oh what are they even gonna say or like what am i even gonna say or what is it

even gonna be blah blah even just the action of you like googling nhs therapy or googling something that you know you need or even if it isn't therapy but just like booking a doctor's appointment for like um a fucking rash on your arm that you've had for a week that you couldn't be but or like just doing these little things going to pick up your contact lenses which i need to do like yeah it's the small actions of like literally looking after yourself it's like yeah therapy might not fix everything but just just the experience of you it might be shit you might actually have a horrible you might have the terrible time it might all go wrong blah blah but just the action of you taking matters into your own hands and learning that you are somebody that takes care of yourself like yeah kind of internalizing that experience and that memory and storing that in your mind of this is what i do i i identify ways

that i can look after myself and i do it and I take ownership and I support myself and I'm there for myself and I am all I need and I can make things work yeah and even just the act of being like I am setting the intention of spending an hour a week talking to this third party professional even if that is the wrong purpose for me even if it doesn't work yeah I am someone who tries I'm a trier it builds the identity of like i am somebody that cares for myself i try i fail i try again i succeed a little bit like it's just building that identity of like i'm not somebody that gives up on myself actually no i think a lot as well of like negative feelings and yeah a lot of just the horrible the shit of life feeling shit

creates it's that kind of negative cycle of it's creating and also sustaining this like negative identity that you have in yourself of like i don't identify as someone who can look after themselves i don't identify as someone who is competent i don't identify as someone who is happy and having a happy life for example and all those things no i don't know if it's the the opposite the opposite in fact all of this stuff yeah it's horrible horrific wendy's small frosty is the ultimate summer refreshment and not because it's cool and creamy and made with fresh canadian dairy it's also refreshingly cheap just 99 cents until july 14th it's a treat for you and your wallet Acast powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend.

Nature. I've got a gay rooster named Francois. Is so gay. These rams are gay. I'm studying gay animals. Does that mean I'm gay? So why don't more people know this? I'm Owen Ever.

I'm Lane Kaplan-Levinson. And this is a field guide to gay animals. A podcast about queerness in the natural world. The animal kingdom is queer and we are a part. Find a field guide to gay animals on Spotify, Apple, or wherever you get your podcasts. ACAST helps creators launch, grow, and monetize their podcasts everywhere. ACAST.com. a-cast.com it is horrific

and it only it's like breaking that cycle is literally the hardest thing you could ever do but I don't believe for a second that you couldn't do it like you sorry double negative

have I just insulted everyone let me just check what I said I don't believe for a second that you couldn't do it so that's why isn't it because I do believe that you can do it she thinks you can do it and i definitely think you can do it i would put money on it yeah i would give everything to to make sure that you knew that you can do that i hope you feel

like you can do that because you can and also there will be moments i guarantee there will be moments where you think you can't they come and they go like i think it's just about catching the moment when you do feel that you can do it and also not forcing yourself to do anything horrible yeah when you feel like you can't i think one of the biggest lessons that i've had to learn is like in the moments where you feel like you're crying and it's like god everything's shit that's not a moment to solve issues that's a moment to look after yourself acceptance it really is like i think one of the devil's snare it is and i think that has been really difficult because i think i'm a natural fixer yeah i look for solutions like and that is a good thing in certain ways but it's also fucking horrific when there aren't any solutions because i think part of the feeling of being powerless is being like okay well i can fix i

can fix it and fix it but yeah horrible horrible truth but also kind of the freeing truth is that you are a human and there are certain things that are you cannot control time you cannot control death these things are actually out of your yeah power these you're not god like these are in your domain they're not you are sorely mistaken you're not god yeah who has like huge limitations and yeah you can try and research things and you can try and like um yeah you know you can try and do shit but actually you can't and actually that is a horrible feeling but also a freeing feeling of like it's not within your domain all you can do is um yeah of accept really yeah i think as well the things that make it easier for like you said

like it's catching those moments or catching those things where that you can do the thing a huge thing i think and like literally the most highly rated and yet still underrated thing in the world is just try and get yourself around somebody that you love and that somebody is like funny and someone who is like nice to have around or someone that you could just like talk to get on the phone with somebody like again things that when you're feeling shit it's like that doesn't sound good that sounds i can't do that for example yeah but it's just really important like letting people be there for you i think is so important also because it only sorry go on no no please please please if you there are times when it's like okay who the fuck is that really like you know when it's almost like okay

i don't want to burden that person with it i don't want to do that and i think yes okay if you if you're identifying that you are um being really insular i think that's a really good thing to do but also say you don't you physically can't speak to these people or whatever that is when the world of yeah entertainment and all these people that you have and being kind to yourself phones on your tv these are when sephian wing sephian wing hello us here if we can be trusted yeah i think i when i'm sad and i watch a video that i find funny or i watch a film that i love or listen to a podcast of something that really makes me laugh that you watch our old tiktoks and stuff genuinely watch these beautiful tiktoks it truly does like interrupt that sort of thought and actually brings in like oh yeah i actually

of course i felt shit because i haven't laughed all day and that is actually unhealthy for a human mind not to be laughing all day to be sitting inside stewing stewing stewing it's like yeah that's why you don't feel bad it's not that you needed to suddenly go to a party be surrounded by all your favorite people in the world it's like a move and get a new job vaguely funny to make a joke and it's like oh my god yeah i can laugh the world is yeah remind you that you have been happy before and you will be happy again yeah might take a while but you will get there you guys will laugh again yeah you might be but it's not a bad place to be you'll be all right yeah if if there's anything you can do you can you can do a shit phase

come on it's what you can't handle the pits i know you can oh yeah and oh and right now it is the pits for me the pits come and go the pits yeah exactly the pits are fluid if the pits are anything they're fluid it's a fluid space it's a it's a um it's not landlocked it's a highly fertile land they're moving yeah we're on the move we're submerged in water in the pits yeah makes it sound quite nice yeah suddenly the pits is an island should we meet at the pits yeah should we go to the beach is there anything else you want to say i i mean i would like to say how much i appreciate the space i do feel

very fragile and just like on the brink of something not good yeah okay i'm on a precipice right can i say that oh yeah you've said it now fuck it i think as well like no no i want to say because i want to if you don't mind elaborate oh yeah go on can i just on the fact that we say like if you don't hear from us assume the worst and i know we have said that before but you might be one of the people who is just like when did that start where did that come from it's very much off the back of like the reality of being mentally unwell like it didn't come as a it wasn't a joke it was very much in the ownership of i'm missing a lot of episodes here because i fully i actually can't come to the microphone i'm too i'm too mentally i'm too sad like i'm on i'm on a real precipice i'm on the ledge and i know people well i think anyone with a brain could tell it we're not saying it doesn't

take the piss in any way but i think it's a really important reminder of like there are real symptoms of this that aren't fun or like there are real there's real shit and like real darkness in life and i think the more we don't the more i don't know i just i don't it's just boring to like shy away from it or whatever blah blah and i feel so happy anyway either not for me no it doesn't come naturally and i think that's also one of the things that i do think we are really good at on this podcast and i hear i don't know i feel like it's kind of a common thing that people say about um their podcasts or like their space on the internet like this is a vulnerable space or like i'm really honest and blah blah and i do feel

like we really are though i do think we bring a sort of i don't think we shy away from anything that is actually really hard i think we do bring our real lives to this i think as well like when it comes to assume the worst that's why i'm so proud of it because i think as well i don't know if you guys know this but i think my mental health and just where i'm at has changed so much over the past like year year and a half yeah that to to have a podcast and be able to turn up i'm turning up every week yeah big all right you know it's okay like i can do it in a way that i couldn't before and i i just love that we have this funny if you don't hear from us assume that i just love everything about it i just love this space and i i don't know you just feel quite moved it's just perfect also just the thought of like everyone's

little faces do you know what i mean you know when they oh it's just too much it's so nice i yeah i'm really feeling the like gratitude towards having this space at the moment i always i feel like we always live in it like but at the moment it just felt i think we're in a really good place like with our relationship yeah having a podcast i know that sounds so ridiculous i think sometimes we talk about it in the sense of like well we i often say it's like a baby but sometimes it's kind of like the baby is weird and errors and it's our dragon and it's like all of a sudden it's like this huge dragon and we're these tiny girls it's like oh shit i didn't realize i had this dragon my baby is huge yeah it's like my baby has control over me my baby is dangerous my baby is bigger than me all of this stuff but i

think at the moment it feels like we've tried how to train our dragon how i met your dragon you said it's all nice yeah at the moment it's like i think we are just riding the dragon through the pits having the time of our lives etc yeah we're john snow yeah so that's a bit of a spoiler maybe spoiler oh god anyway yeah um can i ask you then kind of off the back of like the podcast and stuff i would actually like to know like how do you think your relationship to like authenticity and honesty and and just almost how you identify in the space and how confident you feel coming to the microphone how has that changed even over the past like year i think relaxing into like not needing to be liked which is like a really weird thing to say because i would obviously like everyone to like me i would love it if you liked me that would be

such a nice thing but i think i sort of part of it is accepting not everyone is going to like everything about you there will be certain things that annoy people about people that is just so normal and to be expected and that it actually isn't a reflection on who you are as like a core person yeah like i think having the confidence in yourself to be like i back the decisions i make in life i know that i'm a human that will make mistakes and i trust in like my essence as a person that i think i am good yeah uh that kind of gives me the confidence to be like i know i'm gonna make mistakes i could have made mistakes in this episode i could say things that you don't like in this episode or the last load whatever or in the next one who knows the last load the last load that we've done yeah i'm washing load there is a whole load

just a load of whatever yeah and it's fluid and it's i think the internet is so binary with like we like this person yeah like this person oh this person we like at the moment then we all turn on them next week and that that maybe is part of it and maybe not to be scared of that yeah embrace it acceptance devil's snare devil's snare it's not it might not it's definitely not for everyone and that is a good thing i don't want to be for everyone no i really don't it makes you that the only way through it is it just makes you more confident in yourself i remember someone said literally my worst nightmare of what someone could say to me like it was just a horrible thing it was a horrible like message that we got it was actually a review it was really actually out of line but any weird thing to say and i think but anyway let's just hope you recognized it since because that has

been deleted i think they took it down yeah well it's just like let's hope you don't go saying that to anybody else who's on the preface but anyway yeah i just feel so proud of us and it is kind of the thing of like oh you could say the worst thing to me my word is what i always say to you guys i don't shut up about this at the moment but it's like your worst fear could happen and then you know what would happen you'd get up the next day and you'd keep going and then the next day and then the next day and the next day like yeah the worst thing happens and then what you go to bed and wake up the next day and i know you can do it like yeah it would be the worst it would be the pits but then it wouldn't then it would be tomorrow yeah and then

it would be the day after tomorrow and then it would be the day after that like you're gonna keep doing it you're gonna be fine also there's a weird bit and i don't think it's the case in the message that you got but i think when it comes to like insecurities and things like that it's very freeing when someone yes says the thing that you've been dreading people to notice or yes say about you it's very very freeing when someone now i can move on is there something that you dislike about yourself or something that you're so scared of someone saying to you say that you're so so so scared of someone saying that you're stupid or something like that i don't want anyone to say i'm stupid i don't want someone to say i'm stupid someone the next day someone says oh you're bloody moron you're so stupid idiot idiot

that is a fucking horrific thing for someone to say and let it hit especially if that's like a trigger whatever your trigger is that is gonna kill let it hit speak about it yes write about it you know do all the things you need to do to process that thing cry about it i would highly recommend you'll start to sort of realize that it's like okay so it hurt that's it it didn't change it the next day you still got up and you did the thing you want to do you still um are basically proving that wrong to yourself and that person at the same time and that is so so cool it's actually such a powerful thing it is and i do think actually there's in a certain way it's like you will get the lessons that you

need in life it might not be the things that you want like it would be so great it might not be fair yeah and it would yeah it will probably be unfair it probably will be because we are quite unfair to ourselves and it would be so nice if you could move through life without getting triggered and all of this stuff but i do think every time you're triggered it is a lesson of some so it basically is just showing you what you care about and a moment to like um push through it yeah human on this planet you're a human i do just feel very proud of us like i like the fact that we've owned i don't know i just when it like for example the assuming the worst thing it's like that is just so powerful to me of like yeah a real marker of like god i was

we were in a bad like yeah things are things are not cute and glamorous and we've just come off love island and started a podcast no no we and no shade to the love islanders we love i wish that was the case in fact sometimes but i'm just really proud and it makes me feel really what no no no i'm just thinking about this i'm just really it makes me proud of me it makes me proud of you it makes me proud of us as a duo and it makes me proud of everyone who in some way has probably you've listened to the podcast and like maybe laughed a bit or kind of rolled around and been like this is weird but if you've ever been like oh fuck okay that's made me feel like i can

do it or like oh yeah shit that doesn't sound good and i identify that i'm struggling with something and i can get through it just makes me feel really proud of this like fucking weird group of people we've got going yeah me too like i just have so much love for everyone here what were you gonna say i think it's just an important message in terms of like you never really know what's going on behind the scenes as well like i think anyone that you feel kind of intimate with on the internet and there are so many people that's like i feel like god i know these people and all of this stuff and i hope you do feel like that about us yeah because you do in so many ways like i and you've earned the right huh you've earned the right you have to feel that way yeah

we've given it is a very real connection there's an exchange going on it really is but i think assume the worst to me really i think it's a good faith sort of thing of like yeah really do give people the benefit of the doubt sometimes of like actually there are really actual hard shit going on in life. It's quite sacred. Yeah, it is. Yeah. It is, yeah. Oh. If you don't hear from us.

Assume the worst. Assume the worst. Why are we, like, asleep now? We both, like, shut our eyes. Grinning as well. When you said that, I was like, yeah, assume the worst. Actually, I'm going to fall asleep. Right, let me think about how we're going to respond to that. Kind of Connell and Marianne on FaceTime on facetime cute yeah i've got my mummy issues

i'll be marianne then you can be connor i'll be carnal why has she got mummy issues oh her mum's her mum's a fucking arsehole oh yeah connor's just a little mood yeah connor's got a nice mom she's so cool she's my favorite character i think yeah she is she's really like that's who how i'd want to be a mother sorry just quickly what are we doing just chatting right i'm gonna do the intro okay cool okay wendy's small frosty is the ultimate summer refreshment. And not because it's cool and creamy and made with fresh Canadian dairy. It's also refreshingly cheap.

Just 99 cents until July 14th. It's a treat for you and your wallet.