Goes Without Saying - trusting yourself, confidence, desire, & sex: off the record

Episode Date: April 29, 2024

podmothers sephy & wing enter the chat: spiralling on trusting your intuition, older women, ageing and the patriarchy, sex, desire, and the British Post Office. ✷shop ✷ www.sephyandwing.co.ukh...ear more ✷ www.instagram.com/sephyandwingwatch more ✷ www.tiktok.com/@sephyandwing Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 ACAST powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend. In the early 1980s, gay men started to get sick from AIDS. Years before ACT UP, before HIV was discovered, before the history you know, there were people on the front lines of the fight against AIDS. Joe Sonnabit. Michael Callen. Bobby Campbell.
Starting point is 00:00:24 I'm Dane Stewart, and in the new season of my podcast, Resurrection, I tell the stories of heroes of the early AIDS movement. Like the story of a cabaret singer and a sex worker who invented safe sex and saved millions and millions and millions of lives. Go check out Resurrection
Starting point is 00:00:40 wherever you listen to podcasts. ACAST helps creators launch, grow, and monetize their podcasts everywhere. Acast.com Right. How many episodes do we start with? Right. We just diluted so much. Yeah, it's all gone.
Starting point is 00:01:01 It's all down the drain. It's all down the pan. As always. We were halfway through and I was like, this is a stinker. It's actually insulting to put out. yeah there's it's all gone it's all down the drain it's all down the pan as always we were halfway through and i was like this is a stinker it's actually insulting to put out and i just thought no no level of editing could save that what that was thing is nothing was wrong with it we were talking about taylor swift we're talking about baby reindeer we're talking about my year of rest and relaxation but it was just like not good that's all you need to hear to be honest
Starting point is 00:01:25 that's that's the best bits that's the highlight reel so the gist here is for whatever reason we are coming from i can't explain if you want me to explain how i'm feeling i'm so sorry on a long list of things i can't give in this episode that is one of them well the words that you put onto it were heebie-jeebies which i do like heebie-jeebies for some reason i can't help it i'm coming with heebie-jeebies but that's okay but we did kind of work out why that you went into the post office yeah okay so we've given you them recap of that story if you've ever been in the godforsaken lands of the post office in churchill square specifically the one in wh smith bad vibes bad vibes such bad vibes awful vibes almost like you it's like a dystopian kind of zombie apocalypse
Starting point is 00:02:16 yeah 2004 wasteland like it's so so it's such a time capsule um there's comic fans kind of vibes in there obliterated by brexit i think and i was saying in the previous version of this episode i was like they actually this is a genuine recommendation like if anyone has any connections to the post office in churchill square famously in the basement of wh smith you should seriously consider having like a donations box because you obviously need money and it's actually like you guys can't survive much longer like you really you're hanging on by a thread i have no idea what the excuse is for this situation but it's absolutely appalling the amount of times i've gone in there and been sent away because they're like no we can't do this return today
Starting point is 00:03:01 that is horrific we've got no one doing it and it's like what do you understand how much effort it took for me to get to bring this ace of parcel to you sir please please please don't send me away please don't send me away please i can't come back here again i can't show my face here again was like fine i'll just fucking keep it then uh i'll just keep all these clothes that i hate because i can't come back here i think those post offices in general they need to turn on the aircon they need to open maybe a window if there's any sort of daylight that can be fed into that room please get it in there they need a rebrand they need a good old-fashioned sephian wing rebrand they do they need a new logo the word royal maybe royal male could go or even make it amplify it
Starting point is 00:03:47 regal male all of a sudden it's like yeah yeah kind of plush purple velvet water it's beautiful it's absolutely beautiful let's amp this up it's just absolutely dire in there so anyway i've got the heebie-jeebies and who could blame me have you been in a post office today maybe you have the heebie-jeebies as well have could blame me? Have you been in a post office today? Maybe you have the heebie-jeebies as well. Have you been affected by a post office near you? Genuinely, have you though? They are so bad. Also, I feel like they're so rude in there.
Starting point is 00:04:12 And I, look, when I've worked in places, I am a rude member of staff. I'm someone that is very unattentive towards customers. I'm very friendly. I'm not. Because I couldn't give a shit. It's like at the beginning, yeah, maybe. At the beginning, maybe. I've worked in these places too many times now where at the end I'm very friendly. I'm not. Because I couldn't give a shit. It's like at the beginning, yeah, maybe. At the beginning, maybe.
Starting point is 00:04:26 I've worked in these places too many times now where at the end I'm just thinking. I've never, ever, ever. I'm always like greeting a customer. Say it's a fresh customer, fresh out of the gates. Here they come. They're coming towards me. What do I do?
Starting point is 00:04:39 I'm locked and loaded. Customer service. I am greeting with a smile. I'm being so nice. God, I am not. Really? No. God, if I'm what? loaded customer service i am greeting with a smile i'm being so nice god until not really no god if i'm what 10 hours deep into a thing i'm literally like yeah and really i'm like hi maybe i am at the beginning but cuddle cuddle cuddle get the fuck away from me cuddle mate if you fucking try and cuddle me if i'm working in the post office for
Starting point is 00:05:07 example only my final breath of like they're being rude they're being rude they're being rude and it's 45 minutes and trying to put something through for them and it's not working and blah blah blah will i then start to get a bit short but even then i think i'm short from the outset unless you caught me in a good hour I'd be short from the outset and then I will border on rude towards even the end of the exchange towards even just like them paying I'm rude by that point that's fair enough you live your life it's sephian wing totally totally something's just sephian wing it is right so we've asked for your questions famously everything's famously to me these days and once you notice it you can't unnotice it mean something's just heavy and wing it is right so we've asked for your questions famously
Starting point is 00:05:45 everything's famously to me these days and once you notice it you can't unnotice it you know i mean so if you want famously i keep saying famously that's gonna really bug you yeah i like it infamous yeah it's kind of infamous um okay let's look at what you guys have said this isn't off the record if we haven't already said if you couldn't tell from the the absolute nonsense yeesh no no that hooked me i just thought you need to be careful this person hasn't asked for advice but my advice would be you need to be careful they said go to order at a bar mine is i think they said tequila red bull oh yeah mine is tequila red bull i would have tequila i have tequila is my go-to but never with red bull and i just almost think guys be careful out there with your red bulls why be
Starting point is 00:06:32 careful with a red bull i actually have never had a red bull fun fact really that is so i almost think i could have predicted that yeah i haven't also ever had like a pepsi so it also doesn't really really i think i probably have had a sip of a Pepsi thinking it was a Coke. Like, but for example, I don't think I've ever had Fanta or anything like that. That's wild. You know, Sabrina Carpenter has never had a famously, I'm joking, has never had McDonald's apparently. Really? Never, ever.
Starting point is 00:06:59 And I actually really felt for her. She was doing, I think it was like one of those like uk versus us like food things that lad bible i think and they like brought out the two different versions and one i'm assuming the american side was mcdonald's yeah and she was like oh my god guys i feel really bad but i can't eat that like i have a thing where almost i think it was like she'd got to a certain point in her life where she had never had and now it's a fun fact and now it's like shit i can't i can't break that anymore i do get that i get it because i've never had a paper cut have you not no so that's my how have you never had a paper cut i don't know just never had someone's not doing their homework yeah they don't handle many papers someone didn't do any revision i've never ever
Starting point is 00:07:43 ever had a paper cut in my life god that's quite impressive and if i did now i would pretend i didn't see it because that compromises my fun fact totally totally but i get the sabrina carpenter thing of being like i've never had a um mcdonald's and once you identify that it's like well i can't start now and truly you can't start now because it's delicious i'd be open to um trying a red well maybe not a red bull that seems a bit grim but like a fanta pepsi sprite any of those things but i just i know i'll hate it red yeah you will red bull is quite highbrow i think in comparison to like a monster or just like an unbranded yeah we used to drink monster back in the day god my friends used to drink
Starting point is 00:08:20 monster i haven't heard of that or like what was the one revolution or something wow it's an r c do you remember that do you remember that pussy drink it was literally called pussy no p-u-s-s-y if you guys don't know that pussy yeah where did they sell it just in the off license i've never seen it but also i skip right by that section to the bottled water genuinely i do though see this is why we are so yin and yang but also i'm like msg it's not in some health way i swear it's just i hate fizzy nurse yeah but that is that in turn then does make you health because you do go straight for bottled water which is like you're not doing it because of health but by consequence then you are health
Starting point is 00:09:10 as a consequence guys i've never had a filling there we go there's a fun fact i'm trying i still have a baby tooth what i've got a baby tooth in my mouth there's no like and is that normal i know no not really so that's crazy yeah so i have a baby tooth here could you get that quiet and yeah yeah and you can kind of see it if i show you but um i can't see it because there's no adult tooth underneath it so it just never got pushed out like how other baby teeth would get pushed out and i'm always like is it still like surely i've had that my whole life like surely that won't be good and she's like it's perfectly healthy like can i see it a little bit closer come a little closer is it that little one yeah really at the back the little baby i've had that
Starting point is 00:09:54 my whole life pretty much oh that's still healthy so that i think is the effects of not sure it is yeah i'm sure it is i used to drink sprite like it was fucking tap water i hate the taste of sprite i think i love it or no no what's the other thing that's like sprite seven up lemonade maybe that i don't like yeah sprite is a lemonade so so what us common folk would call sprite seven up those are lemonade in the UK this is really pathetic as well because my whole family drink it like it's not that like I'm in this like everyone else loves it I'm just some sort of weirdo about it or apple juice and things like that well dare I say it's an autistic aversion
Starting point is 00:10:35 is it probably no no I think it's just I don't like it it's a strong feeling though I'm guessing it's incredibly strong like it's I mean I know I'm not it's not my it's not my business it's a strong feeling though i'm guessing it's incredibly strong like it's i mean i know i'm not it's not my it's not my business it's a strong feeling but autistic aversion who knows i have no business getting into this you live your life um thanks i will all right immediately weird vibes okay so lots of different thoughts here where do you want to go um someone said yeah go on and i'm not quite sure what they mean but i'm sure we can just ramble on about it for a bit we said ask us anything and they just put criticism from older women question mark that was the one that just hooked me yeah i just saw that and thought i wonder what that was yeah i'm not quite sure what you're asking there but i can speak about older
Starting point is 00:11:28 women and their criticism for a bit if you want i was almost gonna say i think more criticism from older women i think criticism of older women totally totally which then i think is like um the crux i guess what we'll get to in probably 90 seconds or less is that any criticism from an older woman generally is probably going to be a symptom of the criticism towards older women from the patriarchy her entire life yeah um but criticism from old women does hit definitely because it's like there's no one i respect more it's like um sort of telephoning your um future self it's like okay so you're you have all the wisdom of being a woman that has gone through all of the things that i hope to go through yeah and what do you think of me and your opinion is very low i think sometimes it's look there's a there's a whole host of reasons why someone might feel that
Starting point is 00:12:27 way on the back of that i would love to know like if you were sat next to your 13 year old self and you are the kind of future self of you what would your kind of thoughts and feelings and criticisms as an older woman be towards that kind of 13 year old version of you was that a question yeah like what would what would your kind of thoughts if you're the older woman what would you be saying to your kind of teenage self what advice did she need or what kind of comeuppance was she needing like what was the kind of let me give let me sit you down and give you a good talking to sort of vibe that you needed as a 13 year old i think i would tell myself to trust my gut which i think i did do i think i have a very strong connection with my like intuition of like
Starting point is 00:13:12 i know what i like i know almost if i get the heebie-jeebies i fucking trust it she doesn't like sprite she doesn't like sprite and i trust it and my baby tooth has thanked me yeah yeah fair enough or just i know if I get a bad feeling about turning left don't don't turn left like sort of thing really obviously there are so many things or like if I just get a bad vibe specifically about someone I think like there'll be so many there were so so so so so many situations as a kid I was definitely I don't know what was going on with my sort of year at school but we were party animals like there was so many situations that were so unsafe like there was a house in particular that we got access to at very very young age which was like an empty house
Starting point is 00:14:00 and we would have a party there every friday and saturday really and there would be like grown men there and obviously it would give me the fucking hebes like big time big time and i would always always always get a lot of people stayed there but i would always get my mom to pick me up and thank god she would or i would get go home basically and i think I saved myself from so many yeah horrific situations actually like when I look at the risk the risky situations that I was in as a kid what as a teenager really I think that I had a really strong compass of like this isn't right which I don't know where that came from because it was different to my friends I definitely got sort of like oh don't be boring all of that's like I've did I didn't succumb to peer pressure i really trusted like don't you that
Starting point is 00:14:49 that feels really wrong yeah i think i'm just gonna link back yeah i think i think i'm on my way to linking back to older women yeah i literally couldn't agree more like i feel like we're quite similar in that that like when something is bad vibes or like it's just like i we're almost i think i definitely feel like i and i'm i'll let you speak for yourself i feel like i'm the kind of person where i won't volunteer myself to let you make a fool of me take advantage of me put me in an unsafe situation like i will be the first to get myself a route out of somewhere 100 yeah um kind of uh like it doesn't i don't have a curiosity towards like an older scary thing as a as a kid yeah like things like that like and i think a huge part of that like i definitely feel like my like i my mom and my nan in particular were very i like i have very strong um kind of
Starting point is 00:15:47 matrilineal line yeah and they were very stern about making clear like almost like don't be a fool don't be naive don't be naive and there's so much pain that that comes from like they there's a reason why older women are telling us to avoid certain situations or to be safe or like to trust me like don't get involved with that or like i don't like the look of this guy and things like that yeah that is often like a consequence of seeing it firsthand like living it yourself having that experience firsthand but i feel like if there was anything really drilled into me as a kid that i've really taken on is like, I know better and I am not a silly girl. And I can feel it.
Starting point is 00:16:29 I can feel it and I know it. And that's not to shame anyone who ends up in a bad situation. I want to be really, really clear just to say that. Absolutely not. I really want to take the moment to be like, that's not to call anybody a silly girl. not to call anybody a silly girl i think there's just so much emphasis as a child of having an awareness of like how are you going to keep yourself safe as a young woman on this planet where there's so much coming at you there's so much evil that you actually have no control over so when things are in your choice use it when you have your voice and your route and your path and your legs and your car or whatever,
Starting point is 00:17:06 use it. Like, use your, use the power that you have to navigate, like, with your own best interests. Yeah. Go on, take it. Well, no, I just think, like, even at that young... Just didn't want to be misunderstood there. Definitely. No, so important.
Starting point is 00:17:19 I was kind of thinking the same. Like, I don't want it to be misconstrued into that. No. In that way at all. But I think even as a child... You would think it goes without saying, but... I would hope. i would hope that it's quite clear that we're not come on guys yeah but yeah even as a kid it's like you don't even you can't even sort of comprehend what that danger is but there's still a feeling of like oh i know that isn't safe but like you don't even
Starting point is 00:17:39 really know what the threat is i think you do know what the threat is i think you're going to be raped and killed and harmed but in those situations you kind of think oh i'm being dramatic i'm not it feels like a stretch it's like we're not there yet oh everyone else is um like oh i'm i'm really being overly cautious all of that stuff but i just think you like trusting that thing that is one of the biggest sort of sort of weird nondescript tools that kind of no one can really put their finger on like why did that just happen like why did i literally get a shiver down my spine when i looked into that fucking room it's like don't fucking go in there like i really truly believe in like if so if you look at someone and just or like someone
Starting point is 00:18:22 touches you and you just get that feeling of like, oh, that, that made me want to fucking hurl. Yeah. I do think that is such a clear sign that you should just listen to. Like, I think sometimes your body just knows things that you just can't even really explain. 100%. 100%. And I also think there's so much of a narrative being pushed, like, as you said, like being called boring or whatever or like being dramatic etc etc yeah it's almost like don't wait to be shown the signs of danger before you act looking after yourself sorry to bring up taylor swift no bring her right up this song so many times because it just has so many good lines in there but she says in dear reader if it feels like a trap you're already in one yeah yeah yeah yeah by the time it feels like a trap you're there
Starting point is 00:19:11 it's locked and loaded like you're a little mouse in a little mouse trap and all you wanted was some cheese but now you're dead you're dead meat by the time it feels like a trap it's too late it's too god i love and that's a huge part of life it's just being able to look back and think yeah i saw the signs and i let that happen and we move we move on we keep it rolling yeah we're here for lessons but also i want you guys to be learning lessons and i want you to stay alive at the same time it's like yeah yeah we learn our lessons like we go through some shit but also like can you guys look after yourselves please yeah please please
Starting point is 00:19:46 ACAST powers the world's best podcasts here's a show that we recommend in the early 1980s gay men started to get sick from AIDS. Years before ACT UP, before HIV was discovered, before the history you know, there were people on the front lines of the fight against AIDS. Joe Sonnabin. Michael Callen. Bobby Campbell. I'm Dane Stewart, and in the new season of my podcast, Resurrection,
Starting point is 00:20:17 I tell the stories of heroes of the early AIDS movement. Like the story of a cabaret singer and a sex worker who invented safe sex and saved millions and millions and millions of lives. Go check out Resurrection wherever you listen to podcasts. ACAST helps creators launch, grow, and monetize their podcasts everywhere. ACAST.com Please.
Starting point is 00:20:44 Or whatever small amount of stuff we have in our power let's use it but i do like to think that a lot of the criticism that comes from older women i like to think in my kind of um sensitive little soul that it comes from that space of like i've seen firsthand what the world does to girls and i don't want that for you and taking it from like a place of i guess just like love and care and also i think it is ultimately your responsibility to yourself as like an adult on this planet or just like your own being to take in the advice that you respect and that you think is beneficial to you and from somebody that you trust etc and let go of all the other shit that you're going to take personal like it's just a waste of time yeah i would almost say that advice from older women
Starting point is 00:21:29 can either go two ways if either one it's that it's that they have lived through this and they've learned their lessons they're trying to impart things on you or two they're lost within the same issues they're lost within the patriarchy and what it's done to them yeah and still they can be a lesson to you and it's judgment yeah and it's um a threat i think it's not advice it's done to them yeah and still they can be a lesson to you and it's judgment yeah and it's um a threat i think it's not advice it's just pure well they view you as a threat they view you as um either a marker of a way they didn't live or they're trying to sort of coax you into doing making the same decisions of them to validate their decisions there's always a lesson in anyone beautiful god this is nice i'm glad we scrapped that see what happens when you
Starting point is 00:22:05 yeah that was yeah that was weird that was a that was a lapse of judgment it was a dad it was a dad absolutely sometimes it happens you know let's have a look there are some really good questions here like i want to be clear that when we say things are a dud it's very much i'm sure you guys know this already it's very much on us it's our responsibility it's not like oh like when we're looking through questions it's not that we're looking for a good question it's that i'm thinking what good answers do i have because there's such good questions i just yeah because also you can have the best um best questions in the world but if you've got no sleep the night before god you've got no personality deliver some trash with them yeah go on you can take
Starting point is 00:22:43 this is just a quick little bit of something someone said do you girls have a youtube channel yet and it is coming we've got one video filmed we've got multiple videos do we oh yeah we've got two we've got so much video content more than two what what other one do we have so how many we've recorded like 100 videos when all the time every time in the studio for example oh yeah we have we have but yeah okay we've got some stuff there's tons there's little things i think we're gonna start it once wing is back from new york then we can fully um we want to be consistent with it and like do the episodes kind of i think we want every episode to be a video as well so you can watch it on youtube if you want as well yeah um so but we
Starting point is 00:23:25 didn't want to just put one up then when goes away for a few days and then yeah um there's a week off or something we just want to get it going get things moving nicely yeah someone or this is oh no no please please please it's a totally different question though if you had something on that no that's perfect that's what. Someone said, how many chances are too many? Yeah, I saw that one. Fucking hell. I mean, it's a good question, hey? Bloody hell.
Starting point is 00:23:51 I was thinking about this. I think about it all the fucking time because I watch Made in Chelsea, to be honest. Chances, chances, chances. By the time you've made it onto Made in Chelsea, you're probably like 500 bad chances too deep. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. There's been a new cast member that just entered in the last one whose name is muffin brand new bombshell bloody hell it's like don't call yourself muffin they've all got like they're all called like some of them
Starting point is 00:24:15 are called silly names kind of like hi georgina the the profound goddess of do you know i mean like it's muffin literally daenerys targaryen storm born first of her name blah blah blah oh what's your nickname muffin it's like god stop trying to convince me her real name's julia but it was just an embarrassing moment when julia of course it is her real name's julia i think stunning name and then um she the guy that she's kind of dating is like what do you want me to call you and she's like muffin it's like you ah like why am i cringing so her actual nickname that she goes by or is that a pet name that she wants him to use i think it's a pet name that she wants them to use um speaking of what kind of name like are there names that you wouldn't like to be called we've kind of yeah yeah there's so many names i wouldn't like to be go on spill
Starting point is 00:25:00 the beans then um any name that is not by my own consent any name that i actually designed for myself just to be clear i don't mean uh names like you ugly persephone no yeah i mean names like um muffin like a like a pet name rather than a nickname like or another name do you know i've got it got it got it i'm not saying like oh you'd hate to be called um chloe i'm saying you would hate to be well that would be fucking random they'd be calling chloe i'd be walking on i would love you so much chloe chloe sorry um i think there's quite a lot i've definitely been shocked when people have thrown things out what my response has been oh yeah like baby didn't necessarily hit me very well doesn't hit what it hits in a bad way
Starting point is 00:25:50 yeah I didn't really like it or she's squirming I don't know you're looking you're kind of blushing well I'm kind of because it's been embarrassing she's reminiscing well no I'm kind of embarrassed why embarrassed because there are some that did hit me well i actually quite like but this is it's american so it hits in a different way guys okay but that guy would always be like hey beautiful it's like that kind of works in american accent it works for me oh but if an english guy said i wouldn't like it well it's also things mean different things there is a huge cultural divide i've been thinking recently about i don't know if i can well i say all the time the word cunt oh yeah yeah in the uk i feel like it's like low effort low impact like low risk low reward everyone's a cun and it's you're not you're not it's not um kind of
Starting point is 00:26:38 provocative really in the us you choose to say cun and it's like oh you really it's like you just shot someone jesus god you really did that i mean getting shot is probably more common yeah truly it is go on what are some other ones that you like or don't like well i think i also there was one that i oh no i don't know if i want to say that actually oh but i want to know so bad i think that's i think it's an interesting thing with pet names pet names are so ugly but the idea that it's like something could be specific to you like it might be like um i might call you i don't call you i mean i call you seffy but i i'm not gonna call you baby for example say i call you baby i call you baby hey baby hey baby let's go let's
Starting point is 00:27:23 record a podcast come on barbie let's go party come get in loser we're going to podcast etc and then we break up and you see you hear me around town saying baby baby or chloe chloe it's like that's crazy how dare you call someone else chloe honestly no that's crazy it hurts but so i hate that because it makes it so generic and that's why i don't necessarily like um baby babe things like that i just find them like you just watched a fucking movie or you're just doing what you think you should do really it doesn't really hit it's like i want you to put some effort into this you know what i hate off the back of childhood trauma i will never ever ever let a romantic partner of my own call me mate by accident or even say like
Starting point is 00:28:08 oh my god mate my parents used to call each other mate they would be like i'm over my i don't know which way it's the sort of thing i would do what blah blah call someone mate to kind of casualify them a little bit yeah yeah i would definitely be like all right mate just to kind of hurt them kind of like you're taking yeah no yeah you're right scumbag who i don't give a shit about yeah that's my biggest fear in life is being in a loveless sexless marriage yeah no same my time nightmare and anything that gives me the inklings of that makes me absolutely shudder yeah so i'll take the baby i take the
Starting point is 00:28:46 baby i'll take whatever i can get but something like mate it's not gonna land well for me mate it's bad it's like god just say it with your chest you want a divorce like well you're wasting everybody's time mate mate you're not my fucking mate oh that would hurt it's fucking bang out of order i think i've said it though i'm kind of well i do say it but i'm allowed to say it i say like all right mate like kind of when i'm annoyed i'll be like yeah yeah no i'm like taking the piss it's like kind of like all right shoes mate or like all right put your jacket on mate but if someone called me that i would burst into tears immediately it's out of order
Starting point is 00:29:25 yeah it's like you hate me you hate me yeah it's well it's like oh i'm your mate so so you don't want to have sex with me basically is what i'm hearing it's a downgrade isn't it which is like i mean it's kind of a jump but that's where i'm definitely like are you preparing me for the worst here yeah you're bored you're bored of me yeah that's what i don't like no that's my biggest fear pet names are weird though aren't they they are yeah it is really weird because i also think in terms of like um kind of fan fiction and just the world of like women's desires and like also young women learning what they like etc etc it's really interesting the names that land with people and the names that don't do you know i mean like totally there are there are some things that just hit certain people
Starting point is 00:30:11 in certain ways which is fascinating because it's like i would love to get to the bottom of why you like kitten because that's that's not landing me no i do not like it it's not personally my thing but i would love to know why that hits for you and why it is not working for me. Do you know what I mean? I think also a lot of them are really infantilising. Like, I don't like...
Starting point is 00:30:31 My huge, huge, huge red flag is when a guy calls a woman cute. I think it's really... I find it really unattractive. I call you cute a lot. I call you cute a lot. Yeah, and don't I protest. Don't I protest. Also, you cute a lot. Yeah. And don't I protest. Don't I protest.
Starting point is 00:30:47 Also, you're not trying to fuck me, so it's fine. No, I'm not. I find it weird when a man who, especially a man who is maybe a little bit older or taller or something like that. My biggest, biggest, biggest ick is tall men that like short girls or like sort of um i love small girls like especially the term pocket rocket makes me sick you're a pedophile you want a small girl with lots of energy pedo pedo pedo you want a child you want a puppy you want a kitten and then you start calling her you're so cute you're adorable you're a little kitten you're're fucking pedophile um i quite like your philosophy about short men
Starting point is 00:31:26 who like tall girls coming tom holland thing yeah you like that joe jonas i know obviously that didn't end well but you know commiserations it turns out it wasn't so great but i just sucks i think obviously this is a huge blanket statement of course as everything is around here jesus i'm just we've done like a tall man tall men that have a history of short small girls that's a red flag to me that says something fucking is going on there right short men that like tall women that tells me there's some sort of um security in there yeah that tells me they're not threatened they don't want women to be smaller they don't need to be dominant all the time speaking of tall men tall people etc if you were on twitter you would know what i was gonna say like in the same guys if anyone's been on twitter over the past like three days i have you will have seen
Starting point is 00:32:21 there's this guy it's actually mind-blowing and it made me think like yeah no it's crime i'm about to get vulgar but but in a neutral way go like it's seven wing how vulgar can it get oh god i mean it could get pretty calm so famous last words let's put it to the test i had the shock of my life and i would love to know if anyone out there over the age of 18 feels positively about this. Or not even positively. Like feels like responsive. Like gets some sort of reaction. The reaction it gets from me is yikes.
Starting point is 00:32:59 Go on. Legs closed. So over the past couple of days on Twitter. I can't remember what started it but there's this guy who is kind of i guess he's famous anyway or like he's kind of he's like an influencer he's an only fans boy man jesus yeah i'm a storyteller yeah i'm setting the scene i'm setting the god god right on the past few days this guy's an only fans guy he's australian i think i've done my research i haven't really done my research yeah and i hear this guy's like six five
Starting point is 00:33:30 so i'm like wow okay intriguing there is a photograph and after seeing this photograph i actually don't know if i could ever be the same person again of thisahn's penis up against i wish i had one to hand a bottle of wine standard size bottle of wine his app on twitter is girth master i think this is rank not rank sorry i don't mean to shame but no no we're not body shaming but everyone there were loads of comments that were like wow i'd love to blah blah blah really i was kind of like love to i mean i'd like to see you try not like i wouldn't even like to see you try like it's harrowing even to see it i couldn't believe it and then i did think oh he's six five then when you kind of see him in full length it's kind of like okay it does fit i guess it fits his general body if it's his general like stature yeah but still that is terrifying it was terrifying let me see let me just show you
Starting point is 00:34:31 yeah go on i just find it sometimes so intriguing the whole like big dick thing because it's like i actually don't want a huge dick it would just be that would apps that sounds absolutely yeah harrowing is the right word i genuinely genuinely genuinely don't know how anyone is doing that like if anyone has a wine bottle near them just gaze into his eyes for a second the width of a wine bottle yeah i mean that's not possible i'm sorry no sephi i swear to god God. It's probably the size of my dog, honestly. What the hell? Genuinely.
Starting point is 00:35:08 It's absolutely freaking humungo. And I just thought it must be a different breed of person who looks at that and thinks, yeah, that's going to happen. That's even doable. Like, yeah, I think I'm up for the challenge. I didn't plan on bringing this up, but now I can't resist. Well, I'm so glad you did. It's gobsmackingacking it sounds absolutely scary i like that he calls himself a himbo i think that's funny
Starting point is 00:35:33 yeah i like that are you on his profile i am now but i shouldn't be because now i'm seeing things i didn't need to see oh god i thought that was where i was gonna find it but all right i've got it oh my god okay let's see gee i mean that just evoked a physical response from me like i actually okay do i want to see it am i gonna be really shocked i mean your face right now is really scary it's pretty crazy it's pretty crazy you're seeing it through a screen through facetime do i mean so you'll be all right yeah i've gotten up just a distance from it
Starting point is 00:36:08 just don't make eye contact and you should be fine yeah oh my god oh my god what people like this yeah that is almost i can't really it's so wide at the top it's crazy it's crazy and then he replied to see a wine bottle they're like this big literally they're huge because everybody's asking it's a standard 750 ml bottle of savignon blanc and then he links the wine that's quite fun to link the wine it's genuinely as big as my dog no no genuinely also i struggle to carry a bottle of wine if i'm carrying a bottle of wine back from the shops that's like the biggest thing i'm carrying yikes well anyway different breed hey yeah that people don't mind me wrapping that up there but i just kind of want to put that out the question though of how many chances are too many i just thought we didn't answer that oh jesus no i know
Starting point is 00:37:09 i know but it's kind of something to go around the houses okay go on you go well how many do you think is too many totally depends yeah it's not numerical it's not quantitative it's quantitative imagine it's like two three yeah exactly four two chances eight i think you know and i think if for some i think you know and i think if you're writing into stephanie wing saying how many chances too many unless it's just a hypothetical devil's advocate kind of thing i haven't heard them talk about chances before let's see what they have to say about that which i don't think it will be which i don't think i just don't believe that it is you're kind of it's asking for a friend how many chances too many yeah i think we're on the believe that it is you're kind of it's asking for a friend how many chances
Starting point is 00:37:45 too many yeah i think we're on the last you feel like you're giving them i think the chance maybe has expired yeah i also think when you are on you have the awareness that they have had that one chance and then you feel they're fucking up you're kind of like looking for reasons why which tells me that maybe you haven't really forgiven the first fuck up which you feel like their chance they blew their chance or whatever yeah i in a way think it's one chance i think as well when you're when you when you start thinking actively about concepts like chances that in itself is a bit of a red flag isn't it it's like i'm thinking about how many chances i might be giving you i'm spending time thinking about whether or not i'm making a mistake
Starting point is 00:38:30 actively i think just how many chances would they give you that's a good one yeah i think go back to savvy's advice as an older woman as the um resident pod mothers, we would say, trust your gut. Yeah. Trust your gut. Look after yourself. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:38:51 Right. Okay, cool. Lots of love. And if you don't hear from us, assume the worst. Off the back of that girth conversation feels a bit crazy. It feels really weird, but it still is in my mind.
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