Have A Word with Adam Rowe & Dan Nightingale - #275 - Have A Word w/Adam, Dan & Carl

Episode Date: May 5, 2024

Tickets for Have A Word Live shows as well as Adam and Dan's tours and previews:Have A Word Live | https://haveawordlive.comDan Nightingale & Fiends Tour | http://dannightingale.comAdam's Tour | https://adamrowe.co.ukComedian's Club Chester: https://www.comediansclubchester.comAs Adam and Dan said, don't miss out on all of our extra content, we've got one of the best value Patreons in the game. An extra 90+ minute episode every week plus loads of bonus content such as the now infamous Lockdown Lock-ins, the Nashville & Amsterdam specials and our Ghost Hunts! What are you waiting for? Sign up now at https://patreon.com/haveawordpod​Get subscribed to Have A Word Highlights: https://youtube.com/haveawordhighlightsCheck out Finn's music: https://linktr.ee/finnlaykThanks to this week's sponsors:Lovehoney | https://lovehoney.co/word_youtubeLove how you love and take 20% off site wide to unlock sexual happiness and discover a happier you with promo code: WORD20Manscaped | https://manscaped.com20% off with promo code: WORD20NordVPN | https://nordvpn.com/haveawordGrab your EXCLUSIVE NordVPN Deal by going to nordvpn.com/haveaword. Get 4 bonus months when you purchase a 2 year plan. It’s completely risk free with Nord’s 30 day money-back guarantee!Sneak Energy | https://www.inflcr.co/SHHVlFuel different, drink Sneak.Tickets:https://haveawordlive.comMerch:https://haveawordpod.comADAM ROWE and DAN NIGHTINGALE are two award winning comedians from Liverpool & Preston, respectively. They are two of the UK's most highly regarded stand-ups and have both performed all over the world. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What's happening lads? Listen, the time has nearly arrived. On Saturday the 18th of May, I'm doing my final tour date at the M&S Bank Arena in Liverpool. There's still some tickets left. It's the biggest show I've ever headlined, but it's not just me going to be there. I'll be doing my hour, but I've got a few of my mates coming to do stand-up and I've got some surprise musical guests. It's going to be absolutely unbelievable. I'm so excited and the final tickets have just gone on sale and they're on adamrow.co.uk you can also get them on the M&S Bank Arena website and Ticketmaster but all the links to all of them

are on adamrow.co.uk come and be part of the biggest night of my career so far and I'm going to blow the roof off the gaff please come and see us and come and see me doing Dan Nightingale and Fiends some of my favourite rooms around the country and one in dublin some of my favorite comedians with me messing around with filming it all dan nightingale and fiends it's at dan nightingale.com and if you haven't already why are you not signed up at patreon.com slash have a word pod one of the

biggest patrons on the planet this podcast this independent podcast based out of Liverpool, is one of the biggest Patreons in the world. Why? Because you get value for money. You get early access to these public episodes. You get an extra episode every single week. And every month, you get a Patreon special, and you get access to the entire back catalogue as soon as you sign up from just £3 a month.

Tell them about the specials, Daniel. Oh my god, we've got so many lock-ins where we get drunk in here. We went to Nashville. Nashville, that's a three parter. We've done all sorts. We've taken over a restaurant. We've had a racing day. I'm literally, there's 40 of these things. There's so many. I'm forgetting the good ones. Amsterdam.

Ghost hunts. There's so many to list and there's a new one coming every month. The one we've just released the art special is one of the most popular we've ever released patreon.com slash have a word pod

go and sign up now I guarantee you won't be there you'll never leave in a bit nice one wag wag lids you're listening

to the funniest podcast in the game from the heart of Liverpool with Adam Dan Sensei Carl and Finn, this is the one and only Have A Word.

Brought to you by Manscaped, the very best products on the market for below the waist grooming. Go, Ed, get on me. Oh, and I know, what are the lyrics? How to save a life, When did I go wrong? I lost a friend somewhere along in the bitterness. And how could I stay up with you all night? Had I known how to save a life. Welcome to the Have A Word podcast.

With boys to men. My mum had a chat with me about that song once. I had a fight with one of my best friends growing up. Another lad called Adam. Punched his head in. Yeah. He's dead now. There's a large dog trying to break into the studio.

We were always fighting as kids. They're at the doors. We were always fighting as kids they're at the doors we were always fighting and we had a fight and a falling out and it was just as that song came out

and I was listening to that song a lot and because like the lyrics I lost a friend like she was like is this because she'd been

fighting with Adam is that why you're listening to this song on repeat all the time and I was just like no mum I've got undiagnosed ADHD this is what I'm fighting with Adam. Is that why you listen to this song on repeat all the time? No, mum. I've got undiagnosed ADHD. This is what I'm into for this two months.

Yeah, it was a banger. I was the south of France with your uncle Dan. It was alright, yeah. You seem to have taken a serious interest in this. Serious interest? While I was away. No, it's not. No one had an interest of this. I was like, I'm going to France

and everyone was like, yeah, yeah, yeah. I didn't know you were going to France. I know, yeah. I think Finn has said something and then it's all cooked up. I've not watched the patron exclusive yet because I feel hungover from last night, which was lots of fun.

Thank you. This fella. Thank you, gentlemen. Your uncle. This fella. Is he in the room now? We're just wondering, there was no pictures of any,

with you with anyone else? Nope. There's some, yeah, it's a family thing that, yeah. What do you mean? Yeah.

You know, we're not just having a chat at the pub. You know, do you know that, you remember what this is? Yeah. Is he your uncle, uncle?

200,000 people. He's my mum's friend. Your mum's friend. Yeah, yeah, yeah. After my mum died, a couple of, like, I call my auntie Christine, my auntie Christine.

Yeah. She's not fucking. We've all got one of them. Yeah. Well, I've got an auntie Christine, an auntie Carol, and an uncle Robert. And they were great after my mum died.

And I've always stayed in touch with Robert. Yeah. Okay. I'll take the next question. I know some of my mum died, and I've always stayed in touch with Robert. Okay. I'll take the next question. I know some of my mum's mates as well, and I keep in touch with them. You just don't go on holiday with them? Yeah, it's very rare I go to the south of France

with Debbie Tamburini. Auntie Debbie? What? Have you never been to Cannes with Auntie Debbie? Debbie Tamburini. It's a class name, though. Oh, if you're making up names. She better be in a band. Yeah. And now I'm called Debbie Tamburini. It's a class name, isn't it? Oh, if you're making up names. She better be in a band.

Yeah. And now I'm called Danny Tamburoni, so fucking let's all just make up names. We found a lot of humour in the fact that, you know, you just went gallivanting off around the south of France with another old man. Yeah, a more old man. He's 66.

I've been to Marrakesh with him. I've been to Prague with him. I've been to Milan. I've been to Marrakesh with him. I've been to Prague with him. I've been to Milan. I've been to Madrid and Sevilla. How many times have you been away with Laura? What? Have you been away with Laura more than that or less? I've known Robert longer.

So that helps the stats there. I had a sense of this. I saw a tweet. I saw a tweet this morning i was like i know something's coming longer it doesn't matter that i'm married to lauren i haven't been actually going on all of these mine and robert's thing yeah it's fucking insane yeah it is weird yeah it's good though it's a lot of fun yeah like yeah Like, yeah. But it's a family thing that you don't take pictures with, Robert.

That's what you were saying before. No, no, no. There's been... There's been issues. He's in the mafia. Is he famous? Yeah. Is it Robert Mugabe?

It's Robert Mugabe. That's a disgrace. You know, you shouldn't be going to South Wales. I'm not having black people on my stories. Oh, shit. I'm unjunkied. What are you doing? Robert Mugabe is not black, is he my stories. Oh, shit. I'm a junkie. What are you doing?

Rob McGarvey's not black, is he? It's better, yeah. Oh, God, my head. Oh, I nearly had that aneurysm then. Isn't he dead? What? Mugabo. Oh, that's what...

That's what they want you to think. That's what Uncle Bobby... Piggy, Piggy. Miss Piggy. Kermit's fuming. Yeah, he is, Dad. Who shot Tupac? He's in the south of France waiting for Dan.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it was good. It was good. Went to a gay bar on Saturday night. That was the best bit. It was so good. So you went to the south of France with an old man? Yeah.

He'd known for a long time. He was pretty camp. And he's pretty camp, and you went to a gay bar with him. And we're all just supposed to sit here and say... This is normal. Nothing. No, you're allowed to say whatever you want. It's absolutely valid, Banshee.

It sounds like you were bumming an old man in France. Yeah. Yeah. And it does sound... It does. And I'm making it worse by going, best bit was the gay bar. It really was.

What did you do in the gay bar? I had the best time. Is it French gay tunes or normal gay tunes? Yeah, it is. Relight my fire. Yeah, it's French gay tunes. A sock in the dick. I don't know.

It's just gay songs. It's just the fucking, you know, what you'd expect. What are French gays life uh very friendly um yeah they're really fun french boozing is just a you know this like cafe brasserie thing yeah you can drink here from 11 a.m but we'll just outside usually you just got to do that until midnight when we close there's no there's doesn't seem like there's any gears in the day. It's basically like, do you fancy a beer at lunchtime?

Cool. Well, that looks exactly like the beer you have at seven o'clock at night. I just got a bit bored of it. Not that I don't like boozing. Love boozing. I love the culture of it. I do like it.

Love it. But on Saturday night, I started getting the like, and we'd passed a bar called Blitz. And I was like, oh, that's the gayest thing I've ever seen. I went, oh, we're going. And my uncle was like, like tried to go along with the Blitz and I was like, oh, that's the gayest thing I've ever seen. I went, oh, we're going.

And my uncle was like, like tried to go along with the joke and he was like, and then later on when I was like- So Robert's not gay? I don't know. I don't know. This story is wild, man.

I think I suit the gay culture so much. Apart from I don't really want to fuck men. Everything else is great great it was the best fucking that best atmosphere ever blitz and nice as long as you're like not a homophobe you'll have a great time and that was nice does sound weird i know it sounds absolutely sounds mental into marrakesh you've traveled the world with with a man and you're not sure whether he's a muff diver or a cock smuggler? No. You can be neither of them, can't you?

A muff diver or a cock smuggler? He isn't a lesbian or a gay. No, I muff dive, don't you? I don't call it muff diving. I think if someone goes, hey, you know, my mate Adam's a muff diver, I think it does sound like you're a late in life lesbian. I muff dive. I know he's grown his hair out, but fuck it up.

So you had a nice time. When are you next going away with him? Budapest, surely. San Francisco. Literally, I can't mention it. You've got to see Buddha and Pester. Yeah, not for a while, pasta yeah not for a while though not for a while for the audio listeners my eyes are watery this is yeah i had a class time you just day drank the whole time fucking brilliant brilliant. No Guinness, just Kronenberg.

Great. Had a great time. Antibes, and it's a bit posh. It's a bit posh. I mean, I don't know. The south of France. Nice is a proper city. Antibes, a fishing village that's been taken over

by the rich. It's a bit Tory, but as long as you don't talk to any Tories, it's absolutely stunning. And that was it, yeah. I had a great time. I recommend Nice. And also,

I went to the footy shop, the Nice shop. Oh, see. Class. Get some stuff. I like this stuff. Yeah, I got a T-shirt and a sticker. I can't wait to get loads of Yankees gear,

me and Carl, me, Carl, and Debbie Tamburini going to New York tomorrow. But is she gay? Don't know never asked is she a muff diver like you

New York baby to New York tomorrow I keep forgetting you haven't packed have you not a thing I haven't thought about it

I never I never think about packing I don't know I don't know why but we've had no time with yesterday being so full as well.

Yeah, yesterday was unreal. The Patreon special. Yeah, special. The Patreon special that's going out in, what, 10, 12 days? Something like that? Nine days. Whatever, it's coming out in the next week or two. It's going to be very popular.

And it was a brilliant day. Like, I loved yesterday. I got proper good feels about have a word yesterday. But it's been busy, hasn't it? But, yeah, lads, you can just open a bag, wazz some shit in, and then the new stuff that you've bought. No, I can't. Yeah, you can.

It's easily done. It isn't. I don't like to wazz. I don't want to get to New York and go, wait, why have I wazzed that in? What do you mean? I've got, like, six pairs of fucking pyjama pants and no shoes.

Oh, you're talking about packing. Oh, no, you can't just wad stuff in. I need to be like, right, that's what I'm going to wear Thursday night. This is Friday day, Friday night, Saturday, Saturday night. I need Sunday all day, Monday, and flying home gear.

God. I need like four... Absolutely muffed, Ivy. Four possible outfits for every day. Like, I need options. I need to be like, I actually don't want to wear that, but I've got to wear this.

What's the season? How am I feeling? Yeah. Weather's going to be all right,, I don't want to wear that, but I've got to wear this. What's the season? How am I feeling? Yeah. Weather's going to be all right, apparently. Looks all right. Lovely. I didn't know you were putting out your outfits. You've seen how much I travel with.

Yes. We're going for five days, four or five days. Yeah. And I will take 23 kilograms. Well, you won't. You'll take the bag that's meant to be 23 kilograms and it'll probably be 25.7. Is that fair?

Yeah, and then I'll have an argument with a Georgian woman when she's being a bitch about it. A Georgian woman? She's a time traveller? No, from Georgia. Oh, from the country Georgia. That makes more sense. What is this?

Where am I? Where's good King George? Yeah, I can't do it. Like, you can go and do it with, like, one T- yeah I can't like you can go and I'll do like one t-shirt that makes me fucking nervous

um no I'm you know like I get it I'm not just I'm not planning

I don't know I'll have more shoes right you need two three two three pants pairs of jeans maybe

yeah four t-shirts and then in my head I was like I'll buy stuff four t-shirts it's wild no it head, I was like, I'll buy stuff. Wow, four T-shirts. It's wild, that, isn't it? No, it's not, because the shops where you're going,

Nice has got a nice shop. New York is famous for shopping. So why don't you take less and buy some stuff out there? Like, you're going to anyway. I'll take more and buy the stuff. Yeah, cool. Why don't you take everything? I think it's easier for you,

because I don't mean this to come across the wrong way. Whenever you've got anything on, you always look like you. Do you know what I mean? You've got an outfit. Yeah, like you always look like that's all you ever wear, even though I know you wear other stuff. Right.

It's worth a little lightning. Do you know what I mean? I'm trying to find the full dig here. It's not a dig. Yeah, it's a simpler... It is a dig. It's a simpler... Do you know what I not a dig. Yeah, it's a simpler... It is a dig. It's a simpler... It's a simpler...

Do you know what I mean? Right. No, there's no... We know people in this company who only wear the same thing and it's like... It's a Bill Gates mindset, isn't it? No, but I got loads.

Yeah. I've got loads of different clothes. I wear different clothes. Are you gaslighting me? Do I have... Finn, do I have different clothes? Yesterday, I was... I couldn't tell you what you had on yesterday

yesterday in my head you were wearing that he was i was yeah all right okay i was gonna dress as you yesterday i was gonna wear high top like shoes rolled up jeans a gilet i don't hoodie and a hat right that's your rig out in it yeah like if you're apart from apart from when it's not which sort of contradicts the point in it do you know Yeah. Like if you're picking- Apart from when it's not, which sort of contradicts the point, innit? Do you know what I mean? Like you're like, did you just wear the same thing? Apart from those other things that you wear

that are different. It's not that you only wear the same thing, it's just that I think you do. Yeah, but that's, yeah. That says a lot about you, not me though, innit? No, I think it is both. Oh, right, okay. Yeah, I think we're both got to blame here.

Yeah. I just realised I haven't taken me washing out the machine and stuff in the drying time in the morning. I'm so sad. Is there no one you can call? I've stopped doing laundry. Ghostbusters? Amazing. Oh, I can take me underwear to the laundry.

Have you not got a neighbour with a key? I mean, that would be next level neighbourly. No, it's undies, isn't it? I've stopped doing laundry completely. I know, I can take me underwear to the laundry. Have you not got a neighbour with a key? I mean, that would be next level neighbourly. No, it's on these, isn't it? I've stopped doing laundry completely. I know, I need to. Shocker. Someone picks it up and then drop it off. When it's cleaning.

What's Adam doing in the garden? He's having a fire. It's his weekly clothes fire. What's the turnaround on that time? Like three days. Oh, fuck me. It's absolutely, because it's not expensive i know not everyone can afford it whatever but it's not worth my time i worked out the hours of

washing it and then waiting for it to dry if i'd be on less than minimum wage doing my own laundry that's a disgrace as well instead of paying instead of paying these people to do it? I can't fucking eat with my hands. It's not even worth my time. I pay a little Georgian woman to fucking shovel food. Look at me. I'm fucking, I'm business. Amazing.

And you know what? You're probably right. You're probably right. It is well better if you can just go, hey, can you just come around? If I didn't do my washing, the money I'm paying these people, the amount of washing that gets done

and brought back to my house on a bi-weekly basis, once every two weeks. I'd be doing my own washing and I'm essentially saving about £4.50 an hour. And it's not worth it. And it's job creation. If you said to me, Adam,

come round to ours and do my laundry, I'll give you £4.50 an hour, I'd tell you to fuck off. No, it's not worth it. So why am I doing my own? It'd be illegal. Why am I doing my own if I wouldn't do yours?

Does he clean his own clothes, Dan? Oh, that's ridiculous. But why? I can't open doors. It's a waste of my energy. It's not even £2.50 an hour. And you know, you're getting the economy

back on its feet and that's phenomenal. There's just a whole hive of industry around Adam Rowe brilliant they just do it en masse and they've got a really

good operation going and it's class where do you put it do you have to take it to them or do they come to you shut up come to the door

I give it in bin bags and then they give me a backhoe folder hang on how much time is that taking you Adam you can you should pay someone

to take it from your bedroom to the door. You can't waste time opening doors and handing bags. No, Dan. It's ludicrous. Taking time taking the clothes off his body. No. Every night someone takes them off him.

You should all take in the piss. I'm jealous, don't I? Give me their number. Sing, sing. It's the future. Laundrette to the future. It's the future Laundrette to the future It's not a laundrette It's a way of life

It's a state of mind You're on minimum wage doing your own washing Don't you feel stupid It's washing one of your jobs in the household Dan I'm guessing you divide labour Between yourselves I don't know um no that's not how it works in the real world finn is it not no because my wife is a um don't say it no

what do you think i'm gonna say i don't know a racist and uh did you think I was going to say it's her job what do you mean she's her housewife so it's she's a you know does stuff around the house

shouldn't work anymore so okay everyone's scared for me I can completely feel the fear here no I'm all for it I'm on your side

so she does more you don't want him on your side but I don't rule with an iron fist mate that's what she enjoys she does a bit more around the house i used to do when she was working i used to do child care in the day and then take Etta to nursery in the afternoon and I did housework.

And then this kicked off and I do more, I'm doing more work and then she doesn't have to, so she does more around the house. I do my own clothes washing now, which I do not find taxing whatsoever because obviously I've only got one outfit. And so that's easy. I just clean that every three weeks

and then just, you know, I just take it off. I'm like, you know, at the start of the Lego movie. Dan, have you cleaned your clothes? Would you, you know, if you got home and Laura just hasn't done anything all day

and there's just the kids toys and just shite everywhere, would you kick off? Would you be like, what have you been fucking doing in this house? Just all day. And it's just the kids toys and just shite everywhere. Would you kick off? Would you be like, what have you been fucking doing in this house? She's playing FIFA. And getting beat. She's getting beat on FIFA

and she's just like on the couch, just in a pair of your undies and nothing else playing FIFA. And the house is a mess. Would you be like, what's going on? I'd be so distracted by her tits. I'd just be like, oh you've got tits out. The oh it's a mess but look at these so apparently women aren't meant to clean men's clothes that's the thing on tiktok now why because

it makes the man feel like the woman's a mom and takes away any like sexual like uh thing don't act like that don't act like your partner's mom essentially yeah i just don't think it's... There's a bad... I don't know. She does all the kids washing, the clothes washing and all of that. I just feel like she doesn't need

to be doing my thunderpants. I just... I'm a grown man. It doesn't take that much. I've got my own washing machine. I've got my own washing machine. Yeah, yeah. No, you haven't.

In your bedroom? Yeah, when we got the kitchen done, we got the... There we got the there's a little outhouse which is basically a utility room she was like i'm getting a new uh washing machine so i was like can i just have the old one and that'll be mine so the the plumber was like yeah yeah cool i'll fix it up it's fucking great so it's always free so when i get in the cold plunge in the morning you know i wear my thunder pants and my socks i take them off and just put them in the wash so they're just there isn't like a wet you know because

you've only got one pair yeah so it's just my little washing machine this again this sounds mental as well doesn't it quite my own private washing machine i've got my own bedroom let robert use it when he comes down the downstairs washing machine The downstairs washing machine Dan Roberts poking around the utility room I know he is He can do what he wants My travel partner He's probably making plans for some audacious venture

Dan's been getting it in the neck here haven't you I don't mind I'm really enjoying it Having your own washing machine in a family home is well more mental than what I do with my clothes. It is. There's four of us. There's constant washes on, and we had a washing machine

that couldn't go in the new kitchen. You're like, what are we doing? I was like, why don't we just have two? In theory, it doesn't... Oh, my God. Let's have his own house soon. No, it does sound like that, doesn't it? It sounds like that.

I live in a separate room. Me and Laura, a few weeks ago, we're like, we know what, we need to get back in the same room. It's going to be so good for our marriage. We lasted 25 minutes and she was like, do you want to go back to your bedroom? What do you do for 25 minutes? What are you doing?

You're just moving and breathing. Oh, to the skies. Do you know what I mean? Are you, you're back at your, because you went from having your own room for ages. About a year, yeah. Yeah. Just because different timetables.

And I was like, I just, I just go to bed later than it's fine. Yeah. I go to bed later. I go back to the eight timetable and Carl's at nine. And we're just like getting in each other's way you know what I mean

shut up William John nine no I go to bed like she goes to bed at like half six

in the afternoon because she's a woman and they like to go to bed early go to bed like we're on the boat like

the telly's still on has anyone ever said half six in the afternoon in the history of man? It just sounded so wrong. You know what I mean? Yeah, I know what you mean. It's so early.

Left her own devices. Laura would be in her pyjamas at quarter past one in the afternoon. It's like, cool, are we not going anywhere? Let's get this bra off. I'm in me comfies. Put FIFA on. Put FIFA on. She goes to bed at like 10.

And then I'm like, no, it's still today. So I won't goes to bed at like 10 and then I'm like no we're still today so I won't go to bed till tomorrow that is a dangerous game to play innit what nah just me you know

yeah but then I go to bed and then she's there and we're in bed and it's like yo whoa yeah

you know what I mean just do some interpretive dance yeah but then you're still sharing your marital marital marital marital

marital bed it's not marital yet your maritime bed your maritime bed you've married Nigel Yeah, but then you're still sharing your marriage. Marital? Marital. You're a maritime bed. You've married Nigel. You're a marital bed. Yeah. And you're waking up together. Private question I'm asking on here. More bunks?

Yeah, well more. Oh, is it? Yeah. You can't have sex if you're not in the same bed. Are you back in your own room? Oh, we lasted. I'm not i'm not exaggerating came back i was like it's going to be so good for us babe this we need this she was like i totally agree i just want that connection again within half an hour she was like you want to go back to your own room i was like i absolutely do yeah she's just moves and breathes and stuff

you can't have sex if you're not in the same room. That's just a fact. That would take away a lot of your sex issues. No, it wouldn't. Are your rooms connected? Yeah, by the landing. No, I mean like they're not next to each other. No, there's a landing.

Oh, right, okay. So there's a bedroom. I was suggesting a glory hole. Oh, through two walls? Across the London? My dick wouldn't get past the insulation. It'd be so awful. She'd be like...

But it would improve your fuck life if you were in the same room. Ah, my fuck life balance. Yeah, you'd think so. No, but you're a morning man, aren't you? Well, no, it's just we just don't do a lot of the evening. Yeah, so if you wake up together, you're already in fuck town. Yeah, but this is the problem.

We wake up with the three-year-old going, Mummy, I want milk, iPad. Would you ask first? Oh, yeah, it's a queuing system. Don't get his milk. Don't turn his iPad on. Bang me. Then you can do your jobs.

No, just wake up before. What time is he going to? 6am. 5.30am. You're on for 4am. Shh, babe, I know you're fast asleep. Shh. The kid's going to stir.

Get your rat out. Turn your iPad on. Get him some milk. Lorna, wake up. Hey, wake up, babe. I can't get this iPad working. I want to go. Can you imagine how angry she'd be? This isn't working, Lorna. lorna wake up hey wake up i can't get this ipad working i wanna go yeah yeah

can you imagine how angry she'd be this isn't working lorna give it a go come on get a bigger bed how big is your bed it's a good size yeah is it just like

what is it king size get a bigger one you tried dressing sexy changing up the one outfit well go on talk me through it find out if she's got any fetishes women love firemen could have been the other name of this podcast talk me through it um firemen women do love firemen yeah they do so get a fireman's outfit or start a fire and ring the fire brigade. And then be like, hey,

say you haven't bought three stars around, aren't I nice? Suck me off. Yeah, we've lost half the house, but you must be dripping. Are you up for it? Look at you. You're scared for everyone's life.

You're so horny right now, aren't you? False alarm. You're weeping. You've lost so many belongings. Do fire drills. 4am. I went to justester Fire Station. One of our lids is... I've forgotten his fucking name.

Mate, I'm so sorry. Peter Bovencrantz. And I'm such a spanner. In my head, his name's Sam. That's just because of fire. No way. And his sister's a firewoman in Salford. She's very attractive. Is he a firewoman? Andalford she's very attractive and i met her i met both the you remember when we did the christmas thing yeah and i went to tesco with will

briefly i met both of them her mom was there she went oh my god you know my son and my daughter they're fire people fire people sounds like we live in the forest um and he was like come round and we went round and i dressed up like a fireman i put it on instagram yeah it does feel cool it does feel well there you go oh now i remember fireman wait for laura was like that's what she meant i thought she went oh let's get the hose out dress up like a fireman. Wait on the bed for her. Do the fucking pose, right?

She comes in. What's that? Is that a fireman pose? Yeah. You lay on the bed. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like Brent. Yeah.

I've come to check your smoke alarms. And like you've just said, it does feel cool. So if she comes in and she's like, what are you doing? I'm not even going to fuck you or anything. And then leaves. At least you still feel cool because you're dressed like a fireman. Yeah. Win-win.

You either get to have sex or feel cool. Or both. And do I just keep the fireman costume on all day? And is there any responsibility? What if there's a fire and they're like, oh my God, thank God you're here. And you're like, oh, just doing this for the shags.

Just doing this to fuck. I just take firemen out, yeah. Has Laura ever sort of specified that she's got any fetishes NCP car park attendant she loves it she's like oh my god actuaries

she loves an actuary have you ever been asked to dress up no I don't know what I'd dress up as whatever she wanted she likes Taylor Swift I suppose I'd dress up as. Whatever she wanted. I don't, she likes, like,

Taylor Swift. Taylor Swift. Dress up as Taylor Swift. I suppose if I dressed up as, do you know what, actually, you're not wrong there. Carly Styles is quite a,

what is he, like androgynous is the word? Yeah. The way he dresses. Dresses like a girl. Yeah. But she likes that he's confident enough to do it. Yeah.

Because she's like, you could suit that waistcoat with a tambourine. I reckon I never did that. Harry Styles is not just androgynous. It's like you could suit that waistcoat with a tambourine I've never did that Harry Styles is not just androgynous it's like so off the wall sometimes that it's like

it's like he's he's lost so many like fancy football leagues and he's doing forfeit after forfeit you're like yeah

you've got to dress up but he pulls it off though doesn't he oh because he's just beautiful isn't he and he's all in he's good shape but women love it.

So I think if I dressed a bit wild, I think she'd like that actually. But you do do that anyway. No, I mean like Harry Styles. Very high pant, purple trousers pulled right up. I think she'd be into that. That's what she likes. She likes confidence.

We'll shop for some of this in New York. Yeah. Well, I bought a shirt that's similar. It's quite a wacky shirt, you know. Yeah. You'll see it. What day is that for? Green flowers. What day is it? It's quite a wacky shirt, you know. I'll see you. What day is that for? Green flowers.

It's like see-through. Oh, no. It's sexy. Oh, my God. And he's not wearing it for Serica. He's wearing it for you. Yeah. He's my Robert.

Mugabe. You're my Robert Mugabe. You're my Mugabe. What are you going to go and do? Did you say you're going to see the Knicks? How did they go on last night? Oh, shit. I didn't know.

We can only see them if there's a game seven. Game six. Ready? Oh, 76 is one. They walk off. It's three-two. We need. Can we do the score?

Do the score like you're on a... New York Knicks 106 Philadelphia 76ers 112 you're not getting if that happens again we're going to game 7

the New York and the next game game 6 is in Philly so they should win it and it goes to game 7 oh my god that'd be so class that'll be county

and then we're going to see the Yankees on Sunday Yankee Stadium Yankee Stadium oh that'd be so class if that goes to game 7 Knicks, Yankees what's the ice hockey, the Rangers it might be out of season

it's just, it's about to go into the playoffs wow ooh that's a good point actually I don't know whether the Rangers made it I don't see all the games Then we're obviously

seeing Schultz Yeah the Rangers aren't in the playoffs So Schultz Sean Obey-McKill Hopefully the next game The Yankees game Shopping

Loads of Scran And I want to go to a couple of speakeasies Some of the best bars in the world Hoagie Cuban You're going to have a little You like a cigar bar as well don't you I want to go to a couple of speakeasies. No. Some of the best bars in the world. Hoagie. What?

Cuban. You're going to have a little... You like a cigar bar as well, don't you? I do. A humidor. I don't know whether he's into that really, though. He hates smoke, doesn't he? I mean, when in Rome. But we're going to New York.

That's something I'd like to do with you one day. I'd like to... If we get an opportunity, I've never done that before, I want a really good cigar and try and do it properly. Class. If you stop gallivanting

around Europe with Roberts and having a family, I'm sure we can find time. Yeah. You're never living this down, by the way. And I can't wait

till you go away with him again because this is all going to happen again. I'll just never do it again. That's the end of it. I can't. As I'm explaining it and you're all looking at me going no this is mental i'm like yeah it does sound weird you're right don't let us ruin robbie for you are you gonna he's always gonna be a part of my life

what always gonna be a part of my life yeah yeah also i can't go away with him for at least two and a half years because laurie'd be like what the fuck because that was like what you know has she ever been in south of france uh yeah i think so yeah it would it's a nice place for taking your missus yeah definitely that's where our mini moon is oh and shout out to the guy uh sorry but what are you doing a mini moon you are mini moon what's a mini moon it's like you've got your honeymoon it's a little one and where are you doing the main one Japan right we're going to Nice

and place like like three or four days after Venice I said this last night this cheap this cheap wedding that you talked about two and a half three years ago he wasn't having a wedding

you're like we're going Gretna and you're not knowing about it is now like fucking international travel he's doing three weddings and two honeymoons, and it was originally,

it just wanted to be about us in a cupboard. It's still cheaper than the fucking usual, I've got a light-up dance floor in Thrones, rather than everyone else in a castle in fucking Wales. Not you, Will. Just describe Will's exact wedding. Don't have a light-up dance floor. Will told me yesterday

he's not wearing a suit for his wedding. What? Are you wearing that? Are you wearing a suit for his wedding. What? Are you wearing that? Yeah. Are you wearing a suit for yours? Yeah. For all three?

You know what I'm wearing. No, the last one's partying. It's only been fucking party time. Okay. Black tux for Venice and go with a nice

fucking colorful one for Liverpool. Class, okay. I've got a plan for my outfit for Venice. Yeah, it's black tux because that's the theme sure

Dan can wear what he wants because he's the minestainer you're not wearing a suit you're not on mic what are you wearing he's wearing a tailor's work can I have another plus one for Robert for Venice oh my god I'm not messing Can I have another plus one for Robert? For Venice? Oh my God.

I'm not messing. I 100% give you my word that if you bring Robert... I fucking took Robert and not Laura. Laura is not invited. The plus one is only for Robert. It's not a plus one. Robert's just inviting. You're never great.

Oh, Laura's not going to the wedding. Fuck off. I'm coming. Fucking gang of maggots. How did you get here for that? People going, this is it. This is great. She shouldn't have split couples.

Yeah, that was my- He's just gone to fucking France with Robert. He split his own couple up. That was my fault, because I jokingly was giving you stick about it, and so everyone's like, yeah, you know what? You're right. But she is going to the wedding.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a celebration But she is going to the wedding. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a celebration. Explain to everyone what you're doing now because I don't think we've had a Carl's wedding update for a while. Me, you.

So there's three times you're doing this. We're going to Venice for just a celebration with our friends and Dan's going to marry us, not legally, obviously, just a celebrant, is it?

Just a little play. Me, you, Steve and Dan and then Seneca's taking Not legally, obviously, just a celebrant, is it? Just a little play. Me, you, Steve and Dan, and then Seneca's taking the hair, three closest people. Just us in Venice for the weekend, having lovely times. Come home, then we're having a wedding in Liverpool for family and obviously the lads who haven't been able to go. Then we're having a meal after it, and then we're having... Is that a legal wedding, that second one?

That's the legal one oh right right right so the second one is in Liverpool group of us about 40 you said yeah and having a big meal

yeah and then having a meal tons of muffed eggs and then just like everyone can go to town and have drinks it's just going to be like a nice

yeah and then the third one Johnny Bongo says he's going to do a bingo for us big party and then a big party three separate days and this is over the span of what about four months no Johnny Bongo said he's going to do a bingo for us. Big party. And then a big party. Three separate days,

and this is over the span of what, about four months? No, like four weeks. Okay. Four to six weeks. Okay, so do I have to plan three stag do's? Just the one. One bastard of a stag do, please. Have you just got any ideas off the top of your head? But I've said-

What, Luke? Because he doesn't get a say in it. No, I do. I get one say, one, and Steve is the referee, as Adam is the best man, even though I'm not really having the best man. No bullshit.

That's my rule. Yeah, but he's not going to do bullshit anyway. I know, I trust him, but no bullshit. I know. Hey, your shoes are too big. And the Lonsdale. I just won't wear them. Yeah, but he knows that.

I know. He's going to be cleverer about fucking you over. Don't Davey Asher. I've got some plans. It's going to be cleverer about fucking you over don't Davey Asher I've got some plans it's going to be fun you're going to have to do some challenges that's bullshit no it's not

the challenges I've got in mind are not bullshit you're going to love it you're going to love it aren't you I just want to go somewhere lovely with people I love and we're doing abroad I mean abroad but like feasible that people can afford to go somewhere lovely with people I love. And we're doing abroad.

Feasible that people can afford to go. We're not going to Vegas and everyone needs 20 grand each. We're putting it on black. See what happens. That sounds good actually. That's bullshit. No, just somewhere cool. There isn't anything worse though than a stag do that is just a stag do.

Like a wool stag do. Where the groom's dressed like fucking a gimp and he's on a leash. And all his mates are like, hey, look at the stag's body. Because you're getting married, aren't you? And then they just get twatted and they make a show of themselves and the whole point is embarrassed.

It's boring, isn't it? And it's dead gimpy. Every time I see a stag doodoo and stuff like that i'm just glad i'm not friends with any of them yeah yeah it's a bit unimaginative i just want like like the way nashville was but without cameras yeah i mean this is sick in it i'm but we're here nashville if you want to what have you got any geography wise have you got any thoughts loose ideas obviously he doesn't get a say i don't get a say austin even better i'm not gonna say no to anything as long as it's not

like i don't know it's not all going to austin guatemala oh my god hey listen i know i'm off the shite but if we're going going to Guatemala, I need a pass. I'm going to be in the hills. Nicaragua. Oh, mate, I'm at the factory outlet. I'm at the Cheshire Oaks of cocaine. I've been to Nicaragua. Is there anywhere you're like,

I don't want to go there? No. Not, like, sort of, I could book Benidorm? Yeah. As long as you made it good, yeah. No. Exactly. No. That's what I'm saying. You'd be gutted if I made it good, yeah. No. Exactly.

No. That's what I'm saying. You'd be gutted if I made it Benidorm. Yeah, I'd get over it, though. Yeah, but I don't want you to get over it. I want you to be like, this is the best time of my life. I don't even need Seneca anymore.

Fuck getting married. Let's just do this three more times. I don't live in Benidorm. Anywhere. Genuinely anywhere. Obviously, Europe's ideal because it's closer. But if you want to go the other way and go to somewhere like America

or South America, I'm game as well. Australia. Yowpach. Just leave me there. Not bad. He's dead. I'm sure he's dead.

Obviously, it's somewhere We don't want to do any bullshit. We're going to Zimbabwe. Let's go. But Uncle Bobby would love it. I've got some ideas I'm thinking either South America or Africa

but we'll see I don't want to have to get shots for this stag do what do you mean what like Sambuca's no

you don't want to get you round then of course you don't you're going to be nicking everyone else is that you that happened to me last night

someone mine swept a pint of mine and literally it happened in the wild. And how did it feel? Fine. I'm not a whinging bitch. What do I mean? Shots, inoculations.

Vaccines. Vaccines. Are you anti-vaxxer now? No, if I'm going to. You had Robertson in your ear. Oh my God. If I'm going to... You had Robertson in your ear. Oh, my God. If I've had... If you're going to malaria-ridden Central Africa,

no, I'm not an anti-vaxxer. I'm pro-vax. Exactly. Stick it at my... Yellow fever. In my arse. In my arm. Yeah.

Yeah, I don't want to have to get injections to go... I go to, like, the Congo. No, what? Have some Mambongo. That's where they drink it. Oh, yeah. Oh, you knew that's from there. It's fun, innit?

It'd be hilarious if we went to somewhere like, I don't know, Ghana. Yeah, just go to the jungle somewhere. I know we've done this ages ago, I think. Yeah, but, like, it wasn't about your stag, did it, was it? No, it wasn't. It would be class, though, wouldn't it? Listen, lads. Come meet a tribe and learn their ways. We do things for the stories, don't we? it wasn't about your slag did it was it no it wasn't it would be classed though wouldn't it listen it's called Mr Tribe we do

learn their ways we do things for the stories don't we and their ways are human trafficking we could try and find Joseph Cone no you're not putting

you're not selling me into slavery that's fucking bullshit I've learnt fucking Hutu for fucking no reason last time I come to Rwanda that Russ Koch the hardest

he just ran across Africa so if you can run across it I'm sure you can have a stag do yeah you can I don't think it was necessarily advised though is it what was it

I'm sure there was some places where it got a bit listen you're gonna come to Stag do aren't you so just shut up and just wait for your invite alright cool see you in Africa

Laura isn't invited to the Stag do Robert is yeah yeah no absolutely he's Robert your best man I won't even be offended oh where was your stack um robert's house steven robert it was just me and robert we did marrakesh prague it was all that was all my stag do i hadn't met laurie yet but

lads lads lads where was your stack and why were we invited we uh it was you know obviously oh it was eight years ago today my wedding it's my wedding anniversary today why have you only just said that because i've just remembered is it the first of may yeah do you not make a big deal of it um no i'm you know follow the lead there laura's like oh happy anniversary i'm like sweet oh really it's also her birthday like two weeks before so it's just i don't know maybe over time it'll be more what's eight years isn't eight years like because the first ten are all things and then it goes up in stages it's rubber this is like fucking bum fluff or something it's terrible initially bronze i'm at bronze already eight years bronze that's what it says the modern gift

is linen and lace oh get us some lacy lingerie bed sheets get us some bed sheets go bravissimo get us some

big tat bras that'd be some fucking boyfriend points there I know we don't care about it but get us some new bed sheets linen and it'll love you eight years bosh

get us some bed sheets and say I want to stay in that bed tonight and fuck polish my brass oh you could say that you're gonna need some new bed sheets later when a fucking pummel gets out of the bed.

Happy anniversary. Yeah, we will put the kids to bed first. They're going to the box. Hands on ears. I'm going to pummel your arsehole up. Do you and Seneca have an anniversary? No. You don't really have one, do you?

Because you've never once asked Seneca to be your girlfriend. We just moved away together and just moved in together, yeah. We think we know the first time we had sex and we kind of classed that day. Right. Do you do anything for it? Sex? Is that it?

I don't know. They don't know when they got... Because it was a gradual thing. It didn't... It also doesn't... Personally, I don't think anniversaries at a wedding anniversary are real anyway.

What do you mean? Like couples who go, oh my God, six months since you said, will you be my girlfriend? That isn't a real anniversary in my opinion. So you think

it should be wedding? That's the only anniversary you have, yeah. In my opinion. No, I think, yeah, no. I mean, there's no,

if you want to celebrate with your partner, I'm not going to take it away from you, but we don't. So once you're married married are you going to do wedding anniversaries on a big scale 100 and so this year we're going to see taylor a year before our wedding so the special terms start this year on that day class could have you got a list there of what the each one is yeah i can do what's the first one paper cotton i think it is paper, yeah. It's paper, isn't it? So, let's have a look.

The one-year wedding anniversary. Yeah, paper. Cotton or paper. Just get them the Daily Mail. Same for the second year. What? Third year is leather. Oh, yeah.

Fourth year is PVC. Give us some new materials. Fourth is linen and silk. Fifth is wood. Sixth is sugar. Seventh is woolen. Sounds like fucking Victorian trade, doesn't it? Oh, apparently that last thing was wrong.

The eighth is bronze or salt. One's cheaper. Give us a Maldon. Oh, I love a Maldon salt. Next year you've got copper. Copper, ten, tin. What was number nine? Copper.

Copper. You're in the business, aren't you? Hang on, it doesn't change every year from this point, does it? Does it go then after 10, does it go after 5? After 10, it does go a bit more. 15, 20. Yeah. Crystal, porcelain, silver, pearl, coral.

Hang on, silver's 25. Yeah. Pearl's 30. What's diamond? 35's coral. Diamond's 50. 60. Yeah. Pearl's 30. What's diamond? 35's coral. Diamond's 50. 60. 60.

Diamond Jubilee, wasn't it? My nana and granddad got 60. Did they? Yeah, wow. Saying that means something. Because they got married, they were like, oh, you're fit.

Should we get married in two weeks? Yeah, of course. Great idea. Have you met my mum? Instantly married. Isn't that what you did? What? Isn't that what you did with Laura?

Yeah, I knew straight away yeah the other thing is we have an anniversary of April 19th which is the first day we met and smooched and what not and then that's too close

to May the 1st so it's just all in and around this thing I think as you get older I suppose the wedding anniversary is just going to trump it 80th is oak going to buy them a tree

so you've gone from fucking diamond at 60 to... Then moonstone at 85 or wine. That's a cop out, isn't it? Wine at 85. Yeah, you're coming back down. 90, granite. It takes a lot to get 90 years of marriage, doesn't it?

90 years of anything? That's why it's granite because you're normally under the fucking ground. Well, you could make it up. Yeah, 100 is Bitcoin because no one's getting there. Ridiculous. How can you...

Literally, I suppose, if modern medicine is going to do what they reckon it's going to do, this is going to become a thing, isn't it? Yeah.

Yeah, the first person who's going to live to 300 is already alive. 200. No, it's 300 now. What? I've seen it the other day. That's how fast

it's going to get. Like, it was 200 a couple of years ago. He'll die at 200 still, but there was some kid born this weekend and he's going to be 300. They've just got it about him. He's like, look at you. Longevity, I can see it in you.

What happens if they get hit by a bus? Well, his natural lifetime would be 300 because of medicine. You can't account for buses. If you get hit by buses, that is going to affect it. People who want to live to 300, you need to avoid getting hit by a bus. That's good advice.

Yeah. So Jack is now three years old. How old is he going to live to? 85. What? 85. I don't think he's the 300 one carl you know it's not it's they're not talking about one magical child that is like the entire generation just born to live to 300 so it says no but of course the average age for anyone to be able to live to 300 which now is impossible

what they're saying is that life expectancy is going to increase so much that 300 year old will be an outlier also i think it's 200 but that out that uh one will be an outlier but the whole life expectancy average will be mental like inconceivable so how old is what average wise i think jack's living at 85 the onsS is saying- That's two years older than the fucking- Yeah, but he's not far off. It's saying today, if a baby's born, they're 89 and a half for a boy and 92 for a girl. And he wasn't born until-

And that's 10 years more than when I was like- Yeah. Yeah. The average age expectancy is like 78 for a guy. So where's 300 coming from? That's got to be horseshit. It's just a- No, no, hang on. If an average is 85,

that's mental. No, but I think they've just picked the kid and they're just going to like experiment. They're giving him like loads of vitamins. Loads of vitamins. No one's ever thought to do that before. Just seeing if it works. You're not allowed anywhere near a bus

to have these vitamins. Can I go to the match? Are're not allowed anywhere near a bus to have these vitamins. Can I go to match? Are you fucking mad? On a bus route? I think they're just experimenting on this one kid and seeing what happens. I love it how you've

taken in this information, mangled it up and gone, this is what I think that means. He's a fucking spaceman. 300. Mad. Like, they're giving him

paracetamol even when he hasn't got a headache and just stop it coming yeah prevention's better than cure done I'm gonna try doing that liver failure had him lied to me I said that's a remote once when I was a kid I was pretending to be sick for school and I know yeah I've got a really really bad that they can just feel really bad right okay since I get you somewhere policy my mom's a nurse you're stupid I went, yeah, I've just got a really, really bad headache. I just feel really bad. She went, right, okay. She said, I'll get you some palatine.

My mum's a nurse, you're stupid. And I went, by the way, do you know if you take, like, tablets and that, and you're not, like, sick and that, what happens? She went, nothing would happen. I was like, oh, it's sad. Anyway, I was like, got away with the facts.

Totally separate issue, mum. By the way. Could you get a day off? My mum, yeah, my mum was, she's a nurse, so she's not stupid,

but she's also a single parent, so she just wanted to keep me happy. Oh, so tense. It's like the opening scene of Inglourious Bastards trying to get a fucking day off for my mum. She was just so good at being like, you're under pressure.

You were like, ah, I fucked it. Never got a day off. You are hiding Jews underneath the floorboard, you were like, ah, I fucked it. Never got a day off. You are hiding Jews underneath the floorboard, aren't you, Daniel? Yeah, yeah. That's why you want to stay off, so you can play with them.

Not literally exactly the same. No, I was good. Not that I was good at it. I think mum did. I used to run the tap really low and get my mouth full of water and then go, and then throw it into the toilet.

And like, I'd lock the bathroom door, so she'd just think I was throwing up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. My mum would want to see bits. She'd be like, don't flush it. And I've sprayed her please so it doesn't stink.

And I've brushed my teeth. What are you working on? Get your pad out. Was she just a, a, a, a stand lady? She,

she just took no shit. I had to be truly ill. Like, do you remember as a kid when you wanted to be off? And you're like, I don't want to go. Never got one. The days when you're ill, you'd rather go to school

because you actually feel shit. You know, when you're like, this feels horrible. I'd rather not be like this. That was the only time when I was like properly ill. And then she'd take me around to my gran's who treated me like a little prince. Yeah, I'd go to my nan's because she goes to work.

I'd put El Nombre on. Flying meat. You must have wanted to stay off all the time because your best friend was in his like 30s, weren't he? You're like, I want to stay off so I can play with Robert. He's off work. Robert's on annual leave.

He's already retired. May man, assistant. I'm so glad he doesn't know how to use the internet But he knows a lot of people who do So Robert I hope you've enjoyed this episode I love you very much I'll see you in Peru Fuck all stag I love that Machu Picchu with the fellas machu picchu with the fellas

machu picchu with the boys that'd be heavy and then everyone can wear like a um a polo shirt with a nickname on fucking shagga bagga dagga what would your stop there what would yours be what bully bullet moomin What would yours be? What? Bully. Bullet. Moomin. One outfit. I want to wear my clothes. Adam's like, I put this dressing gown on. No wool shirt. No, I am going to dress you.

You're not. I am. It's just not going to be wool shirt. You should buy me some nice clothes. We'll see. It's not going to be wool shirt. I know the line, but you are wearing what I tell you to wear. That's wool though. It isn't. You're telling me what to wear. It is wool. I'll have to pack your suitcase. Oh, look at that. It's not going to be wool shit. I know the line, but you are wearing what I tell you to wear. That's wool though.

It isn't. You telling me what to wear is wool? I'll have to pack your suitcase. Oh, look at that, it's empty. I'm not going to do that. Let's just go home. I'm not going to Machu Picchu with no clothes on. Welcome to Machu Picchu, what you here for?

Don't worry about that. He's fucked off in the mood. Won't wear a fucking Everton goalkeeping outfit. Good God. Outfit? Outfit. What do you call it? Kitna.

I've seen the new Liverpool outfits. The away outfit's lovely. Let's have a break. I've made a commitment to myself. Ooh. Go on, box. Ready? I've decided. I'm ready. Commitment to meself. I've decided.

I've accepted that I like a pint. Right? Bit of a pint man. What I've decided needs to stop is the hangover days. You know where you just have a day where you're just in the fucking mud. So after we went out Friday and Saturday I woke up and me and Jack just did fuck all all day.

And we're looking at each other going, it's not worth this, is it? It's not. But I think it's like a self-fulfilling prophecy. And I'm going to start not doing that. So if I go out and get drunk, special occasions are different. Weddings, all three of difference weddings all three or weddings seven weddings right after the arena i mean i won't be wallowing all day then anyway because i'm gonna go and watch clops last game but like jürgen yeah all right yeah and that was

so funny um i've just no days off no more days off from the grind. No days off. Yeah, I can't if I want to. But if I get up the next day and I'm hungover. Grow up. Grow up. Get up. Get out.

Go for a walk. Go for a run. Get the gym. Get some shit done. Send some emails, you know. Send some invoices. Pay some invoices. Wow.

Do my... Time to get my shit together. Sign some posters together sign some posters sign some posters no too much that was the thing that tipped him over yesterday was a good level

of piss for you by the end of the night I was more pissed than I seemed I think alright because I sent some text messages on the way home that I don't remember sending

none of them bad but like I woke up and I was like what's that erm yeah it was er it was a good level of piss it was

and that was a really good one and Sunday night I went out I went out for dinner and then some drinks and that was really fun that was a good night er

and I was good level of piss then as well I also just I do need to stop doing that blackout drunk 3am shite. But no more days off is the thing. I can get pissed if I want,

you know? I'm a young man. So what you're saying is you've got, hang on. I can't, are you getting, are you going to drink more to do more admin? It's not,

I can't quite, I haven't totally grasped what you're saying. I can understand how you've missed in terms of that how's that oh yeah I cannot do admin I need to be more

hungover that's what I'm no what I'm saying is I often use a hangover as an excuse to do nothing all day and get nothing done I'm not going to do that

I'm not going for the run I'm hungover no more of that if I'm going to go out in the piss I've got to accept that life goes on the sun is still going gonna go out in the piss i've got to accept that life goes on the sun is still gonna be up in the morning yeah yeah so essentially what we're saying

is to punish yourself for drinking you're gonna have an activity day the next day that's it adam you've puked twice we're going abseiling oh i'm gonna fucking volunteer in a charity shop classic hungover, Adam. I'm just going to get my shit done no matter what. Right, nice. Yeah, yeah, I know. That's a good commitment. Why are you shitting all over it? You always shit on my dreams, you know.

Your dreams, your little walks and paling voices. That bit's a lie. Actually, I've had dreams of Adam paling voices. That bit's not true. But, no, I like it, yeah. I don't want you to give up drinking. I'm not gonna give up drinking. You're a great pint, but you're saying-

I'm a really good pint, actually. I think it's one of the things I'm best at. I never heard anyone argue with that. I'm a good pinter. Being like four or five pints in, I'm on a five. When are you, the problem is with no days off. When are you having a day off? That's genuinely, like, are you having a day off? Sometimes I'll have a day off.

Right. A day off drinking. But you'd have to have a night off drinking the night before because if you're hungover, then you are not allowed a day off. No, no. It's not that. Unless you've got one of his 14 weddings. If it's a pre-planned day off where I go Tuesday,

I've got a day off. Right, right, right, right. Then I can have a day off. But I'm not getting up. Like, today, if we weren't doing the podcast, normally I'd have got up today and been like, I'm a bit hungry. I'm going to go on the couch.

I'm going to tell you. I'm going to scroll on my phone. I'm going to go to the shop, make a bit of food. And that'd be the whole day. No invoices, no abseiling. Absolutely. From now on, it's all abseiling and invoices from here, baby. Have you not seen Adam today?

Adam's been abseiling all over the lobby. Get down, Adam. Stop paying invoices for fuck's sake This one's not even due The invoice D-U-E D-U-E Everyone else who shouts at me for absences

Be Jewish She thinks I'm going to listen to her She's not even a Jew Adam's going to say the joke anyway, Dan, isn't he? That's your accountant for you. God. Wish they were. You all right?

Yeah. I'm hungover. We're going to do... No days off. No. This is why I'm in, mate. This is why I'm in. And I went for a souvlaki.

Careful. Yeah? Careful, did you say? She's doing my washing. Did you say careful or purple? I said careful. I thought you said purple. Wash these. Purple souvlaki. Went for a souvlaki, but they don't do good chips at the souvlaki, so I said

no chips. And then went next door to get chips from another gaff. That's high end hangover, that. Wasting, and then went next door to get chips from another gaff. That's high end hangover that. Wasting and then the fuck's souvlaki?

Souvlaki? Greece? I'll tell you right now. Been to Greece a couple of times. Souvlaki's a a type of Greek kebab. Oh. The chicken

and the chicken souvlaki. It's the style of like shredding it. Right. And I'll tell you this right now. Okay? I'll tell you this right now for none. You're not charging for this? Oh, there's another invoice it. Right. And I'll tell you this right now. Okay? I'll tell you this right now for none.

You're not charging for this? Oh, there's another invoice. Brilliant. The Greeks have got a lot right. They've got a lot right. Their food is incredible. They've got really good food. Mediterranean style food

is one of my favourite cuisines. Right? It's dead hot. They've done well with the sun over there. Right? Really good. Economy's poo poo though isn't it that's snickers it's like 45 quid that's not the point the whole place is like center box men are handsome women are beautiful they cannot do chips i'm telling you right now the greeks can't do chips they don't know what they're doing with a spud mate i'm telling you right now, there needs to be an Irish invasion of Greece

or like some sort of governmental program where the Irish go over and teach them about spuds because they haven't got a fucking clue what to do with a potato, mate. Yeah, you're not wrong there. The Greeks are shite with spuds. Are the Irish good at potatoes? I mean, isn't it the French that know how to do fries?

No, French fries originated in America in America whoa yeah what are you saying I think the like American we've got like loads of potatoes

and someone cut them really thin and like ooh they're a bit French aren't they oh it was a slur it was Robert bon fucking jour god these are tasty you've done well there

in America that's why Robert went back to the south of France. Yeah, where it all started. Yeah. I think French fries were like basically gay chips. I think that's what they were calling them. Look at you, you little gay chip.

You Frenchman. But then everyone liked them. I'm like, oh, do you know what? They're class though. Christ. I like them. You know what? That's the end of my homophobia.

Because these are lovely. Maybe I'll try a dick. Again, it's in the trailer. The French dip originated in California as well. Like the beef dip. French beef dip. Bouguignol.

That originated in Cali. French have done fuck all, mate. Except for run away and stink. That's all you do, innit? Run away. Just fart and run. Run away from fights and stink. Oh, you're doing the surrender cliche,

but you've turned it into run away. Where are the French? I don't know. In Spain, they ran away. The Germans are knocking about the whole of North France. They're fucking French and fucked off. Ran away. But then at home, they know they're a riot, don't they?

They can do that properly. Yeah. Play to them for that. Yeah. If they don't like something, they... Oh, the Parisians. The farmers are my favourite. You put up the price of fuel and they're like...

They get the shit out of them. They're like, let's get the check deals. We're going to Paris. And they just block every street. You know, don't fuck with French farmers. Yeah. Big fan of Greece.

But they can't do spuds. Yeah. Where have I been? It's Cyprus. Cyprus is half Greek, half Turkish, isn't it? Cyprus. I think it's more Greek, isn't it? Is it?

It's more Greek. But it is a Turkish country. It's like Wales. Like, no one really gives a shit, but it is there, isn't it? Oh, is it? It's Cyprus' own country, isn't it? Oh, is it? It's Cyprus' own... Is it? Huh?

They've got Peter Andre, haven't they? It's a principality. They've got Peter Andre. He's Cypriot. Is he? Yeah. He's Greek Cypriot, isn't he? Oh.

No, he is. Yeah. He is, yeah. I just had a beer. Oh. That's a great French farmer. Oh, the guns drive anywhere. Pricks. That's a great French farmer. They can drive anywhere. Pricks.

Do you want to do a tier list, Finn? Pass me a gay chip. Yeah, do you want to? Want to see a tier list? Yeah. That was a busy riff. Have we got a jungle? Do you know what?

We're out here in the jungle. Yes, Randy. It was on there, wasn't it? Yes, Randy. The old tier list. Tier list. Wow, that was... That was so by accident and sick.

That's it, though. Yeah. Absolutely. Right. We got the comments last week. We did superheroes and we didn't really know. You all got baited, you little maggots. So we're gonna do something that we know stuff about.

LGBTQ plus rights. How are you ranking them? All God tier. All God tier. There you go, next tier list. I don't think the queers deserve God tier there. Baz? They don't, because they can't make their mind up.

They don't know what's going on, do they? They're like, I don't know whether I want a cock or a pussy. Iars? They don't, because they can't make their mind up. They don't know what's going on, do they? They're like, I don't know whether I want a cock or a pussy. I just know I'm a bit weird. That's what being queer is. Can you call them the queers? They are queers. Yeah, just ask them. That's what they call themselves.

I suppose. You're specifically, yeah, you're specifically talking about the cues in the LGBTQ there when you say. I'm not lumping them all together. Yeah, yeah, yeah, because if you- I'm just talking about specific self-identifying queers. You got this one.

So sitcom characters. The gays have made the mind. How could I possibly be talking about them? Gays know what they want. Cork, lesbians know what they want. Pussy, trans people know what they want. A cock for themselves. Or a pussy.

So put in a cock or a pussy. Are you muff diving? What? Are you talking about muff dives? But the queers are just like, fucking nose out. They're all French. Just like, I like this ass. That's queers. That's literally what it is. I don't know what I want, but I want this ass.

Someone's taking down the queues. I'm not saying they don't deserve respect and safety and to be treated as humans because they do, they absolutely do what I'm saying is it's not as big of a deal as the rest of them

they're the least favourite of the yeah, there's no problem with them do you know why it made me tense is because queer is, it's a derogatory term for people of but I wasn't using it that way. No, you weren't. I'm using it the right way.

I'm talking about the queers, not like queers. LGBT, VAR. Yeah. You play on. Yeah. Play on. I know where the line is.

I'm right on it. That's a pink card. Sitcom characters this week. Not queers. We're going to rank them. What was everyone fuming about superheroes? I mean, some people... Because we didn't really know

what we were talking about and no one cared. And we put Spider-Man down. Right. Also, if you haven't watched The Thing and you don't know it, Adam, I think maybe people who have watched it rank it.

Yes. Is that fair? I agree. If you've not watched it, there's a few of these. I know it's a game of opinions, but if you haven't watched it, you can't be like, nah, I don't know, shite. This isn't also the 20 best.

This is just 20 characters. Yeah, that's what people are getting confused as well. We're not saying these are the top 20. There is people who aren't in these tier lists who would be high ranked on it. We've saved some. saved can't just have high ranking ones because then we put everyone at the top yeah we've saved some characters that you'll be going where's this person for a future list don't stop having a go at finn he's trying so sitcom characters the first one we have here is ross geller from friends he's just sound He's contentious now as well, isn't he?

Yeah, because he's a fucking gaslighting freak. Yeah, because he's a bad boyfriend. But he is funny. But he is funny. That scene when he goes, that's one of the best scenes ever. That's one of the best scenes ever. And his face when Joey pushes him into the fridge.

Oh, you're not being... I could draw that from memory. When he gets a spray tan on one side, that is one of the funniest bits of... Does he get it all over? Doesn't he? He gets it on one side, that is one of the funniest bits. Does he get it all over? Doesn't he? He gets it on one side. That's the joke, isn't it? He tells it to Turner.

Oh, he's a tan, of course, yeah. Yeah. Gets it all over. What an episode that'll be. Ross has got a tan. It's just, yeah. He's done that really well. It's so funny.

I think he's better than sound, you know? I think Ross Geller is... I think, like... I think he's boss. I think he's boss. think he's boss there's there's there's moments where we we love him that yeah i don't think he's sound no i suppose not rachel's sound so we're going but it's the low end the boss isn't it yeah yeah right okay we're sticking him in many funnier moment the next one one is Phil Dunphy from Modern Family never seen it

I've watched I've watched a lot of it but I haven't watched all of it he's boss like he's the best he's the best he's the silliest

character in it he's the best character who wrote Modern Family it's a pair of was it someone to do with Friends I don't think so

because because the writing is absolutely unreal yeah the first few seasons so. Because the writing is absolutely unreal. Yeah, the first few seasons of Modern Family are really cool. The writing of Friends

isn't absolutely unreal, is it? It's quantity over quality. If you think of what Colin Pallone has gone, by the way, Friends is shit.

Cool. Like, it's changed over the years and people don't like it as well, but no one cares that you think it's shit. It's the people that worked on Frasier.

Frasier, that's it. Christopher Lloyd and Stephen Levitan. Yeah. So are we going Phil, don't we? I don't think there's much debate here. We're going boss. Yeah, he is boss.

Right, okay. Next one. I think there's an argument to put him in God's ear, but I don't love the programme enough to do that, so. Fair enough. We've got a few absolute battles coming up. This next one, Moira Rose from Schitt's Creek. I think she's fucking boss as well

schitt's creek have you seen it of course schitt's creek i'm actually going to start watching that again tonight folding the cheat is a cheese folding the cheese it's have you seen schitt's creek yeah it is uh i nearly cried at the end of it i haven't finished it. It is so well ended. So well rounded. The first season all the characters annoy you and then they don't really change the characters but you love them for why they originally annoyed you.

She's the perfect one of them. She's the best character of them all. The best one is Daniel Levy's character. What's his name? David. David. Do you reckon? I best one's Daniel Levy's character what's his name the dad no oh the David David yeah do you reckon yeah

yeah he's oh I think it's Moira she's my favourite I think she's I think there's a strong argument she's God tier you know God tier I think

like either that or she's like the top end of boss I think it might be three in a row for boss for me I mean I think she's what's everyone else's thoughts boss for me. I mean, I think she's- What's everyone else's thoughts? I loved it.

I think she's great. I don't think we should give God Tear Away that easily. She's brilliant in everything. Have you seen Orange County? No. Which is a film with Tom Hanks' son. I think it's like 20 years old and she plays- The Rasta one.

She plays a drunk mum. The Rasta son? The what? His Rasta son. No, the one that looks like a young Tom Hanks. And she's in that and she's fucking brilliant in that. And she's superb in Home Alone. Home Alone, yeah.

Right, let's go for boss then. We're going for boss. Right, next one. This one's gonna be a bit contentious. Is Sheldon from the Big Bang Theory. Meh or shite if you want him. Sorry, it's shite. No, the program's shite, but he's the best character, isn't he? The program or shite if you want sorry it's shite no the program's shite but he's the

best character in it the program is shite yeah he's not wrong carl's just gone it's shite it's but it's he's a he's a good character in it he's just autistic though isn't he that's the whole thing is look at this fellow with autism that's it doesn't fuck his bird. But he is, he's not shite. So he's meh, and he might be the very low end of sound, because he's the only redeeming thing of that whole show. And Penny's tits. Oh, my God. I'm not putting him above meh.

No way. What do you think? I don't, like, it's hard because I don't love the show. I've watched it because, you know, back love the show I've watched I've watched it because you know back in the day it was just on it's easy to watch

it felt like it was on E4 or E4 plus one it still is permanently and actually when you sort of just watch it on a side you're like

yeah it's kind of funny there's some funny lines but it's it's that caricature sitcom isn't it where you're like it doesn't there's no real

there's no realism to it. No, do the fit girl next door. It's not Marmloan and he's meh. I think he's shite, but he's got a meme. Okay, right. I think that's pretty fair, yeah. Okay, the next one. Jim Royal from the Royal Family.

Where's he going, then? It's one of the top two. This is blasphemy, but I'm not the biggest Royal Family fan. I enjoyed it, but there's other sitcoms that I've enjoyed a lot more. He's the realest character on that list. He exists.

He exists in so many ways. There's no caricature to him. He is just a scouse dad, isn't he? Yeah. A fat scouse dad. A fat scouse dad just watching the telly. He's God to you because he's funny, and then the scene when he can make you cry with the scenes

when he's just getting... I think... Yeah. Stop! Like, I... He's got to go in God tier and it's also my mum's cousin. Have you been on holiday with him?

I think you'd love it. I'm going to... I'm going to make an accurate decision. Two votes for God tier. Jim Royal is God tier. Yeah. I've not watched enough of this to comment. I only watched the Christmas special.

It is very good. It was loved so much. It's so well written, real stuff. Carolina Hearn. It's real shit. God Tier, put him in, Finn. He's got to. Now this should be quick and we don't need to talk. God Tier. Mrs. Brown from Mrs. Brown's here. Put him in, Finn. He's got to. Right. Now, this should be quick, and we don't need to talk about it much.

God's here. Mrs. Brown from Mrs. Brown's Boys. Unbelievable. Can we please just put it in the mud, like, straight away? So, I've never really watched Mrs. Brown's Boys. Okay, I can act it out for you if you want. But is it everyone hates it because everyone hates it,

or is it really that bad? Everyone hates it because everyone loves it, because stupid people love it because it's shite and it's easy it's it's it's comedy for the stupidest people and there's so many of them that it's a really popular show you've never watched extras have you no there's a there's a there's a mock sitcom in extras that ricky gervais's character is in that is so similar to mrs brown's boys right and that was years before he had a script idea and they it was really interesting because in extras they just ricky gervais played out how producers at tv stations like the bbc take your script and

fuck it up gradually and then it works and he hates that it works and he's got a catchphrase ah yeah what is his catchphrase uh yeah what is this catchphrase while the whistle blows is the name of the sitcom in it oh are you having a laugh you're having a laugh and he and he just plays it out so painfully in studio like with catchphrases that really old-fashioned sitcom and m Mrs. Brown's Boys is massively popular, partly because it's gone, hey, do you remember how it used to be? Like in a studio and there's gags

where you understood the gags. Nothing wrong with that, is there? And that's what we do. And that's why there's a lot of people and some of them are older and it's easy to go, oh, they're just idiots. But I think a lot of them are like,

oh, that's the comedy that I like and that's how it used to be. It's broad, very broad. It is a bit shabby. I haven't watched enough of it to be able to tell you whether this is a definite scene, but this is the type of thing that they would do. A son will come in and go,

Mammy, where's me pants? And she'll go, they're upstairs on the side. And then he'll go upstairs and come down with her pants on. And she'll be like, Jesus, they're obviously my pants! And everyone laughs. And that... Where are my pants? Right laughs and that where are my pants

right that's that's it just like the lowest for buff and hours yeah I'm not wrong no I'm not

I can't call it show because I've watched it but I know people think it's show but it's so popular when I did a TV warm up for Pappy's Fun Club you could only get tickets

for the in studio recording of Mrs Brown's boys if you also took tickets for something else that was being recorded you had to attend otherwise you got your mrs brown's boys tickets taken off you so which is bbc scotland going we've got to fill the studio we've got we've got a studio audience we need so they basically so popular mrs brown's boys they used it as leverage so to like you had to go and do TV warm-up to people who were like we are only here so that we get Mrs Brown's boys tickets it was the weirdest energy because it's a very specific type of comedy fan by the way I'm looking down the rest

of the people you've got on this list and God tier and boss are gonna get very busy it's getting there right uh the next one I'm not sure how many of you have seen this one. This is Frank Reynolds from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. I've seen a few seasons of it and wish I'd carried on. And maybe. So I've only started watching it at the start of this year. And there's 16 seasons or 15 seasons. You've done a lot.

I watched them all. And it's. It's world class, isn't it? It is so funny. It's so up our street in terms of the comedy have you where are you trying to put him i'd i'd say boss personally okay he's he's what's the story with danny you were telling me about on the first season they were struggling season they made they made their pilot very like guerrilla style it was them out of work and they were like we've got to make our way we've got to make our own stuff otherwise we're never going to get cast in anything so charlie day um rob maclehenney and

what's his fucking name dennis but i can't remember glenn howerton wrote this sitcom took it to fx they got the first season made it is very very kind of the the camera work isn't great it's very rough around the edges and they were going to be cancelled looks like the first ghost ones yeah they were going to be cancelled but then we got danny devito for the second one the head of the station went you you need a star and he was friends with danny devito pitched it to danny devito and luckily his kids loved it's always sunny they just got into it early and from then on it really took off he's one of those characters there's lists a lot of the

time the best characters that have come in after season one yeah have changed it and he is right up there he is i think yeah i want to watch it again and love it i'd recommend it to any of our any it's hard to watch stuff again though in it like it? Like, there's so much stuff. Yeah. Now, I remember, like, 20 years ago, I used to have Family Guy on DVD, and I'd watch it over and over. Now, like, I'd love to go back...

I've tried to go back and watch all of Curb Your Enthusiasm. I sort of checked out because there's so much stuff to watch. The next one is barney stinson from how i met your mother he goes i'm out here because i've never watched it i i also don't i can't comment i've seen you guys like it though no i know so i've watched me like a little bit more than you two not more than him and i i think he's just a bit of a triad character i put in i think you're so wrong i think he like I would make a strong argument to put him in God's here,

but like if no one else is going to put him in there, then he goes in Boston. No, but they haven't seen it, so you've got to argue to me why he's God's here. So he is such a complex character. Maybe I haven't seen enough,

but I just- Like you just haven't, like by the latter series, when you realise why he is the way he is and what the whole, like it's 10 seasons or nine seasons of of he's the main character of how i met your mother really he's an absolute shagger like i've seen so many clips

yeah there's reasons for it and it looks at his whole childhood and you get a full he's the most fully painted picture of a character i've seen in any sitcom i love him all the clips i've seen of it it's less Joey who's just gorgeous and is just confident. More like, what's that book? Is it The Game? Yeah, that's what he is. Yeah, he knows how to play women. He literally, he's got a book called The Playbook

and it's plays he does on women to make them go home with them. I just think, I mean, I haven't seen enough, so I'll put him in sound. To me, he's like Peter Griffin. He's just like a... Peter Griffin, if he was on this list,

would be in God's ear, and it wouldn't even be a debate. Try hard version of Homer Simpson is what my opinion on that is. He's just try hard version of Joey. Wild. But Family Guy's so funny in its own right. No, no, what I'm saying...

You're like... Yeah, it is. Family Guy's so much funnier than The Simpsons. In your opinion, yeah. yeah yeah i don't think everything i'm saying is in my opinion no but you said it i think you're the only one that can place him you're the only one who's watched it so you you get this you can put him in boston no you can because i is there other people on this list that you've seen you can see coming up that are better than that? I can see one. The comedy is not brilliant at all times in How I Met Your Mother, and a lot of it around him isn't brilliant,

but as a character, he's boss. So I think because of that, he doesn't make it. Okay, the next one is Phoebe Buffay from Friends. Sound. I wouldn't put anyone from Friends because I love it so much lower than Sound, but she's my least favourite of the six. Is she? Yeah.

That surprises me. I mean, she's level with Monica for me. It's just, I don't care. Monica's got some really class moments. Phoebe's just a bit too quirky and weird for me to be asked that much. I like Phoebe. It's a brilliant character

because it's offset by the other characters or it offsets them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't think she does enough to even... Dan, where would you rank Phoebe? Yeah, she's... Are we going sound then? I think sound is spot on.

Sound. Right, the next one. David Brent. This is nailed on. From the UK office. It's God tier. It's God tier. Is it?

It's an original.'s he's the oh like if yeah if you're talking about the strength of character within that not very little moves in that show without david brent like it's all centered around he's it's not one of those ones where it's equally passed out between the characters. He drives the whole thing. He is the office. It also shapes comedy sensibilities for the next 10 years or so, the UK office.

But when people don't like it, it's irritating as fuck. Watching my dad, when I was getting into the office, he tried to watch and he was like, what? It makes his skin crawl. It's just that cringe comedy. Watching my dad, when I was getting into the office, he tried to watch and he was like, what is this? It finds it. It makes his skin crawl. It's just that cringe comedy. But if you, most people are into it, oh my God. You have to bathe in it.

You have to be in it with him and be like, yeah, so I can't watch it for that reason. But I'm like, no, this is just, the writing's insane. From what I've seen of it, I do think I'd love it. I just haven't ever bothered to watch it. It's so bad. You're not meant to like love him. You're kind of meant to pity him a little bit,

is how I feel watching it. By the end, you do love him, don't you? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But he's a twat. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, he's a wondrous twat. He's not a cunt, but he's a twat. But then Chris Finch is showing what a knobhead is.

He's the comparison where you go, Oh, my man's having a career, by the way. Finchie has gone on to do some bits. Amazing. Right, God the way. Finchie. He's gone on to do some bits. Amazing. Right, God tier? Okay. Now we're going across the pond for his counterpart in the US office. Oh, you've done this on purpose.

It's Michael Scott. Never watched it. Can it be God tier if it's a rip-off? If it's a cover, essentially? No, but it's not. Because he develops so much more doesn't he

like I've watched quite a lot of The Office now because it's gone and I've laughed a lot the first season he's doing Brent oh it is

well Gervais were there weren't they Gervais and Merchant were there yeah for the pilot I think they they just tweaked a few things

of like names and stuff and then it was their own writers Mindy Kaling BJ Novak that lot of course because they had to do

24 episodes yeah there's that run from in like season two three four five i think it goes from like 15 16 episodes to 24 episodes and there are points where you're like guys you were struggling in the writing room here because the american tv once you've got a hit they're like cool make it for half of the year and this is is how it gets syndicated. And this is how you become, what did Frazier, like Kelsey, what's he called? Kelsey Grammer. His last contract with Frazier was like $50 million a season for two seasons.

It was like massive money. But the demand that it puts on the writers, and you get these blips where the UK office never had those blips. Does he leave? Because it's much more concise. Yeah, he leaves and it's so much worse.

It goes to Bedlam. They've got, in his place, they've got Will Ferrell for a few episodes, Idris Elba, Catherine Tate turns up. Oh, wow.

That's not on him. If anything, that's a bigger plus for him. Oh, yeah. 100%. I think it would have been a lovely ending if they'd, I love The Office.

It's my favourite and Michael Scott's my favourite of all the characters on this list. I think it would have been a better ending for the show if they'd finished

when he left. But that's not how their money works because we're sat with one of the biggest Simpsons fans I know and it should have been called in 2002.

But Fox just... Just a bit later on. Not really. 22 years ago, yeah. Has it been 22 years of shite? It was... No, I give it to like season 13. Which is what, 2002, 2003?

Similarly with The Simpsons as well. There's the odd one where you watch an episode and you go, that's the magic. Well, there was four seasons where they didn't, they just hit. And it was the best thing that had ever been born. The Simpsons should have finished when we were kids. I think he might be.

Same with Family Guy as well. But when Fox just go, hey, you don't have to do anything. There'll be a load of new writers. But is it graining? What's it called? Backgraining. Just literally all the money you can think of they should have finished it with the film should have been like we're done as soon as

you moved on to future armor he was like it's clearly like he's gone well i want to do something else yeah right yeah i'd say it could be god to you now it's so amazing because it's my favorite yeah go on okay cool right the next one is Gloria from Modern Family again. I need to watch more comedy. I think people are going to be pissed off if you don't put a boss or above, but I think she's not as good as Phil. No, she's my second favorite. Yeah, but she's not as good as him.

I'd say sound. Yeah, she can't go lower than that. Yeah. She just can't. I don't think there's a lot of discussion with her. I think it's just put it in sound. I don't know if she's had loads of them incredible funny lines. I don't think there's a lot of discussion with her. I think it's just put it in sound. I don't know if she's had loads of them incredible funny lines.

I am. Would you put a lower? Oh, I don't think she's comedically that strong. No, but she's sexy and she has the accent on. I know. That's the gay couple is so much more, like Cam's so much funnier. Do you know when we were going,

cause obviously I've looked along the people you've got in this. I thought that was Megan Fox when she shows up in New Girl and I would have, if that didn't go in shite, I'd have put the screen in the bin. Right, next one.

New Girl's class, and I know we've got Nick Miller coming up in a minute. New Girl's class and when Megan Fox comes into it, she ruins the whole show by being in it. Yeah. I've not seen that.

Right, the next one. I feel like this is going to be an easy one is Chandler Bing. I'm not having a being in it. Yeah. I've not seen that. Right, the next one. I feel like this is going to be an easy one is Chandler Bing. I'm not having a conversation about it. Yeah, just pop him in God's hair

because it'll fucking walk. He's the best character in the longest running, most successful show that's ever existed. Yeah, let's not waste our time.

Okay, right. Next one. We're coming back to the UK for a sitcom. This is Nessa from Gavin and Stacey. Yeah. Everyone loves her. Very funny. I think it stinks for a sitcom. This is Nessa from Gavin and Stacey. Yeah. Everyone loves her.

Very funny. I think it stinks. Triad. It's one of the Triad things. Oh, do you not like Gavin and Stacey? No, I didn't say that. But I think she's one of the Triad ones. She's not real.

She's one of the writers. What's that mean? Ow! I love it when Carl gets in a lane. Last week, superheroes were goths. They're fucking goths. No, it's Tri-Hard sitcom character. No week, superheroes were goths. Fucking goths. Now it's try-hard sitcom characters. No, I hate contrived characters.

Jim Royal is the opposite of that. You mean like the caricature ones? You can knock on someone's door and go, there's Jim Royal. That isn't real for me. That's why Phoebe's like the worst one in Friends for me, because she's the least believable. That's why I don't like Nessa. I think it's just not real.

I'm telling you right now, I don't think youessa. I think it's just not real. I would put- I'm telling you right now, you don't think you'll enjoy Mrs. Brown's voice. I would put Nessa in meh. Oh no. That's harsh. She's got some funny lines. She has, yeah. She has got some funny lines, so is Sheldon.

So about the other, we won't do Gavin and Stacey in the next one then. Where would the other characters run? Who's the best character in that? Is it Uncle Bryn? For me, it's Uncle Bryn. Rob Bryn, yeah. Uncle Bryn would be boss because he's real.

You meet him in Ballyhal. Yeah. Uncle Bryn would be boss. I don't know if you spend a lot of time in South Wales. I think, can we put it in sound? Yeah. What's really funny about this

is Gavin and Stacey would both be in shite. Oh, yeah. They're just the story both be in shite oh yeah they're just the story aren't they yeah yeah they're the romance by the way James it's the same with Jim

I can't watch anything with James Corden anymore yeah Tim and Dawn aren't the funny ones in the office Tim's got some lines though I mean Dawn's not meant

to be a funny issue no but you know what I mean they're not the yeah yeah they're the romance right okay sound we're going for no

meh no no sound give them sound. Also, someone went, what's the point of this if Adam always just decides? Yeah, that's just someone who just doesn't like how handsome I am. Oh, yeah.

Intimidation, innit? Yeah, it was. Next one. I bet it's an ugly man who said that. Next one, Ron Swanson. Ugly man who's got no women after him. Ron Swanson from Parks and Recreation. I bet you.

I'd honestly argue that Ron Swanson should be God's here. I haven't watched it. It's debatable. He is such a fucking brilliant character. And bordering on not real, like teetering towards a bit caricature. At the start, he's very real, but it's the same with... I fucking loved his character. I'm just proud of him. I love the actor. real like teetering towards a bit caricature at the start he's very real but it's the same with

I fucking loved his character I'm so proud of him I love the actor Nick Offerman he's funny as fuck I think my vote is God Tear he's so good

I know how many people love him people who watch it love him so I'm not gonna we were hanging out with one of them last week what? Aziz Ansari oh yeah

he's very quiet. Right. God save him. Parks and Rec is, if you enjoyed The American Office and you'll love Parks and Rec, they basically went, hey, that's working well.

Should we just rip it off? But they did it really well. It does drop off a bit. Yeah. The next one. Nick Miller. Nick Miller from New Girl. He's boss and I absolutely,

like I identify with him so much. If you ever watch New Girl, watch it through the lens of Nick is Adam. There's not a character in any ever that I- He's very relatable. That I'm more like. Like at one point he starts seeing some girl and she opens his wardrobe

and just six years of male, unopened male, falls out of his wardrobe. And I remember watching it with an ex-girlfriend, and there was something in every episode where I just feel like, oh. Like, the way he handles his whole life, the way he handles his relationships, the way he handles everything is humor.

The way, like, he won't let anyone tell him a secret, because he's like, I'm going to tell everybody. I'm going to have to tell everybody because he is me. And I love him a lot. I don't think he's as good as to go in God's ear. I would love to put him in God's ear just because of how much I identify with him,

but he's not. But he is boss. He's boss. Dan, have you watched New Girl? No. I watched a bit of the first season. It was a long time ago. Just watch it for CC.

That's all you need. I prefer Zooey Deschanel. Zooey Deschanel is wonderful. You want to marry a Zooey Deschanel. God tier. It's Captain Raymond Holt from Brooklyn Nine-Nine. He's so God tier. I've never watched a minute of it.

I think this is probably the least debatable thing in the whole and he passed recently Andre Brower he is so funny when he sort of becomes a bit of a parody of himself in the later series where they're playing on what the character is known as

there is moments that are just so funny there's a moment where in one of the episodes where Amy's late for work and they're all stood around going, wonder why she's late for work. And everyone's like, maybe she's in a fire. Maybe she's like in, like got lost in the forest. And he goes, I think she's in line at the bank. And then she comes in, and everyone's like, why were you late?

And she goes, there's a line at the bank. And he goes, hot damn! And when he does that, and breaks what is a nine season character for that moment i lost my fucking mind laughing at that he's god to you it's one of the best longest of weights and he's got moments where you're like oh fuck me ah like you get you as well yeah and it's nice to put it he's gay and he's black and i think that's god to you needs a gay and a black so we've we're on go he was a serious actor as well like he was shakespearean plays and i think that's god tier needs a guy in a black so we've we're on go he was a serious actor as well like he was shakespearean plays and stuff like that and this was the break from that he

decided to go into comedy and do something different and it was so good right top god tier right this one carl made me put in so carl would you like to pitch why? This is Paul Rudd's character from Friends. Mike Hannigan. Mike Hannigan. We all know you know it. Where do I pitch this? It's one of the top two. I know, but then...

I know that sounds mad, but so he's my third favourite character in Friends after Chandler and Joey. Chandler, Joey, Mike, and then the rest. How many episodes was he in? Roughly.

He's in the last two seasons, I think. About 40, maybe. But he is seamlessly in the last two seasons. You're not like, I wish he'd fuck off. You're like, I wish he was in it. He's as good as every other one of them. He's got the fucking...

Yeah, it's timing. The piano scene. Where he's like, I'd love to play the piano for you. And Phoebe's like, well, go on then. And he's like, well, there isn't a piano here. And she goes, well, that wouldn't stop a true pianist. And he just gets up and he's like... I'd love to play the piano for you. And Phoebe's like, well, go on then. And he's like, well, there isn't a piano here. And she goes, well, that wouldn't stop a true pianist. And he just gets up and he's like... And just goes for it.

Like the line, maybe, this is going to be a crazy idea, maybe we should not let the box of rats ruin our lives. Like, he's so, so good. The fact that he can join a group of lads, which is the lads, and just be like, he's got it with them it's it's mad how much

how much was you know like Curb Your Enthusiasm is this is your character this is where this scene needs to go go and they'll do it

until they've got it but it's it's there isn't a script there are some pointers and whatnot how scripted is Friends was it

was it completely scripted oh really really it was like hey you didn't hit that line right oh it's it. How scripted is Friends? Was it completely scripted? Oh, really? Really? It was like, hey, you didn't hit that line right. Oh, it's overly scripted, if anything. Right. Like, everything is a punchline.

Every second sentence is a punchline. Okay. It is so, so overwritten. He only goes in Boston, doesn't he, really? What? He only goes in Boston. He's the very top of it, though. I've watched Friends.

And I don't love it like you do, but obviously it was the most important show when we were like in the 90s it felt like everyone just watched it it was like a given and i'm so surprised that you've even like asked for him to be on this is my favorite over the other cast members of the six yeah we'll come to them he's my favorite comedic actor paul wood he's he's incredible right okay all right i'll come to them. He's my favourite comedic actor. Paul Rudd, he's incredible. Right, okay. All right. I'll bow to you. So, boss, who are you going for? Okay, we'll stick him in boss.

We're very positive this week, aren't we? Okay. Let's just look at the goal there. Where are you meant to put anyone else? Two left. This one is Fleabag, who's unnamed, but we'll go for Fleabag. I love Fleabag.

Does she never have a name? No. Bo, she isn't the funniest in the show. Her sister is. Or Andrew Scott. No, hang on. No, but again But she isn't the funniest in the show. Her sister is. No, hang on. No, but again, the whole thing, she is the whole show. Andrew Scott steals it in the second season.

No, but she is the whole show, though. I think Olivia Colman's really funny in it as well. I know. You meant to fucking hate her, but she's so good at it. But I think Andrew Scott is, in the second season, funnier. But Fleabag is perfect, I think. Do you know, I just watched Baby Reindeer

on your recommendation. And when I first watched Fleabag, although Fleabag is trying to be funny, but it's the same reaction of like, you know when you're watching something and it's British and you're like, you're weirdly proud of it. You're like, this has never been made before.

This is truly original. This is genius. For someone to conceive of this and then make it work and then get it commissioned and then perfectly execute it, which is Baby Reindeer, it's one of the most outstanding things. Richard Gad, his stardom, when he gets to, he's going because of that. I saw Stephen King comment about it. It's gone worldwide it's

one number one on netflix in the uk and it's the most deserved thing it's the most deserved thing i've ever seen and if you've not watched it yet just watch it there are points of it that are brutal advice caution that like i i you know i never think i should give like trigger warnings for like a lot of stuff but if any show needs a trigger warning, there's strong themes of stalking and bad sexual assault. There is the warning, isn't there? Yeah, I've never had anything like that happen to me,

and I found it very difficult at times to keep looking at the screen. Isn't it funny that a man has to get sexually assaulted for men to feel it? I was like, you're so right. I was watching that, I was like, fuck's like that is such a regular occurrence of women i was like i that was that like that's got me that was grim um but fleabag i love fleabag that much that the top of my stairs is the last scene as a script that i got made for serica

i'd put hair and i've just remember the scene in the in the restaurant with us with her sister I've just remembered the scene in the restaurant with her sister. Winchester. Miscarriage. Oh, my God. I've never watched it. So, I don't think Fleabag is God tier. I think the show is one of the most remarkable things.

Put her next to Andrew Scott in Boss. I know he's not there, but he's there. We're going for Boss? Yeah. Okay. Right. I have a very strong opinion on the next one. Last but not least malcolm tucker from the thick of it he's got he is gods here it's one of the most amazing performances for

all of the thick of it is it peter cabaldi yeah and the writing of i am on armando inucci yeah oh my god if you have not watched The Thick of It, this guy is a fucking psycho. He's so cutting. He's so aggressive. He drives the whole thing through fear. The other characters that play off that are brilliant. It's like watching the best written bullion

you've ever seen. And I love it so much. And I think he, for me, is God tier. I'm not going to argue with you because I've never seen. And I love it so much. And I think he, for me, is God tier. I'm not going to argue with you because I've never seen it and Will's nodding and I trust Will. It's so good. Peter Capaldi is one of the UK's finest actors, I think.

He's so good in everything he's ever done. Was he in that thing you like, Doctor Who? He was in Doctor Who. I'm not just talking about that. If you don't know, the thick of it is a political comedy and he is a, like a spin doctor.

Yeah. He's based on Alistair Campbell, isn't he? Is it Alistair Campbell he's based on? We're in France for him next. He's a spin doctor. Likes french fries. I'll get you.

Oh no. That is a very top-heavy list. So we're going God's Day for Malcolm Chakradant. Oh, please, for me. I'm not going to disagree with you there. Fucking love it. That is a top-heavy list. I think we've done the right...

That's right. I think we've nailed that. I think there'll be people that disagree. But look at, like, you arguing about Nessa, and you were like, Nessa doesn't belong with all those people in Bath. No, not even close. She's lucky to be where she is.

Oh no, I didn't want to move it up. I just think she's better than me. There's a few there that I... That's the Welsh bias there. It's not. Oh, I like Nessa me because she's from down by ours. Shit.

Scotland. There's an L me there. Syria. Comment below if you want to change anything but we don't give a fuck because we're right. Yeah.

Sure. True for the algorithm, I'm not reading them. Keep commenting what tier list you'd like to see as well. They're very helpful. Class. I'm starving now. Peace. Part three of three.

A bit late in the day for a coffee, but I feel like I need it. You're all bored of me, so I need a pep up. Oh, that's not nice. I didn't mean any of that. I was just trying to be a dick. Oh, you know what? We do some banter, but sometimes that cuts a little deep. I've probably had it ages.

Or one very like it. You know what I mean with that, though. I was going to dress as Dan yesterday, and you knew what I was wearing. Sorry, Dan. It was exactly this. was gonna dress as Dan yesterday and you knew what I was wearing. Yeah. Sorry, Dan. It was exactly this. You like a dark color and you like a style.

Not very flamboyant. It's because I feel fat. It's if it was a video game, what his default outfit would be. Yeah. Yeah. We've all got them. With my turned up jeans.

Turn down for what? Mine's band t-shirt cargos and black shoes. And just an air of sadness. No. It's true. Apart from the days when you come in like a fucking desert storm, afternoon off, camel everywhere. Do you know what I mean?

That sort of like. Oh, yeah, like tannins. Oh, yeah. You love a tanner, you. Camel? Mine varies depending on what happened at the latest Paris Fashion Week. Yeah, classic lad from Dovey.

The latest one, last week. Lad from Dovey. Chappelle. Chappelle on Tuesday. Paris Fashion Week the next day. Speaking some bird. Paris Fashion Week the next day. Go on, Finn.

Me? It's not me. What is it? What? Room. Room 108. If you're going to move the show along, you're going to have to do it smoother than that.

Go on, Finn! Out of nowhere. Go on, Finn! You big camel twat. We're doing a new feature, which is our spin on Room 101. We're going for Room 102. It's not next door, it's across the way. Can we rip off the music from Room 101? Or is that... Things we ate, eh? What is it? Things run to a It's across the way. Can we rip off the music from Room 101? Or is that... Things we hate, eh?

What is it? Do things run to a bad case? This is doing a lot of work today. Welcome to Room 102. If you put good things in there that I like, I'm going to book you. And if you do twice, I'm going to send you. Oh, well, I'm getting a red card.

Country music. Oh, I swear to God. No, that isn't in there. Adam, do you want to go first no you can go first because I I want you to I've got a couple

I'm going with not the drink Richard and Judy but Guinness drinkers what if you put Guinness drinkers in room 101 no just the people

leave the Guinness on the taps put all the people but no one bevies it no let it die why because you're all boring guns

fuck me it is a drink it is just a drink even if it's the best drink in the world even if it gives you like a longer dick

it's still I mean that's a heavy drink it probably does because it's got so much iron in it you were wolfing them down last night

honestly I've never seen a person drink a fifth of a pint of Guinness so quickly. It's just a drink. You don't need to point it towards Sharedo Connor's resting point. You don't need to... No, no, you're making all this shit up.

We like to play a little game with our bevy. Comes with a free game on the glass. Noir. Oh, I've done it. Oh, I didn't. Just friends having fun, Carl. That's a bad pint. It's just friends. Yeah, because you can's a bad pint. It's just friends.

Yeah, because you can get a bad pint of it. I want a good pint of my favorite drink that comes with a free game. I want to have fun with my friends. Is it a crime? Have you ever been to Guinness and just not spoke about Guinness ever? Yeah.

Have you ever just gone, oh, we've never mentioned the, you haven't? You sit down and go, whoa, that's a good one. Karl, have you ever thought that everyone's doing that in front of you just to wind you up? No, it's not just these, by the way, it's become a thing. Oh, he's, good one. Carl, have you ever thought that everyone's doing that in front of you just to wind you up? No, it's not just these, by the way. It's become a thing. Because it's class.

You need to split the S on the glass. You know it's split the G. And it's not the drink either, because it's not a bad drink. Guinness is okay. It's the cunts who drink it. Room 10, bastard two, and I've locked the door as well,

so they can't get it back out again. Is there a pint? Can you get a pint of Guinness in there? You've got it, by the way. It's a shit one. You've got to get- Oh, what, like a 2.5? Yeah.

There isn't a hundred point scale for a drink. There is! Hundred points! Yes! Fuck me. Yes, there is. It's to one decimal point out of 10, which is a hundred points.

Yes. Are you arguing against me? Yeah, I am. Go on. Because you're trying to put me in a room for that? Oh yeah, yeah, well, you, yeah. Yeah, I'm the worst of them all. Everything you arguing against me? Yeah, I am. Go on. Cause you're trying to put me in a room for that. Oh yeah, yeah, well you, yeah. Yeah, I'm the worst of them all. Everything you're saying is me.

I sat down and poked, I was just me and Jack and I said, it's quite good in here today, and he said, yes, class, you've done well today. Clean glasses. Oh, boys. Can I say this? Excellent pie shenanigans. Really good.

Hang on boys, we can't possibly drink unless we're videoing ourselves doing it. No, it's a game, Karl. It's a dream. We can't possibly drink unless we're videoing ourselves doing it. No, it's a game, Carl. It's a drink. We're having fun with our friends. And posting it on the internet. Play pool? What?

Play pool? Without a pool table? How mental would that be? Come on, Jack. You just imagine. You can turn it sideways and nothing comes out. It's like a fucking solid. Oh, no one's asked.

Finn, back me up here, kid. Yeah, you're right right you've got to get two of the three of us to agree or it doesn't go in oh it's gonna be a majority yeah that's how it works i'm on your side strongly why dan and i don't know people having fun and liking something it's just nice it's a really nice pint it makes me feel good and it makes it easy to have a good time with friends. Just shut up about it then. Yeah, so then just have that. Yeah, shut up about it.

But that's a game. All the pageantry around a drink. But it's also a game. There's a game on the glass and it's fun. Let him have his passion. He's not passionate about anything. This is the one thing

he gives a shit about. Lovely. It's got a lovely heritage. Get a drink. Don't even look at the drink. Don't even say what you've got. If someone goes, what are you drinking?

Go, fuck off. Pour off. Play imaginary pool. You die a twat. It's just a beverage. It's just liquid. That's all it is. Do you know what it is?

You haven't got something like that in your life, so you hate other people. I enjoy. We have. You're just a miserable cunt. No, when I drink cherryade, I always ring my mates and tell them about it. I just fucking love Cherryade.

You're jealous. Cherry's seven up is so... Do you want to just be on my team for this? I need one more vote, you see. I'm not getting his. No, he's just jealous. I love it. No, Guinness is fine.

Adam's given me so much. No, Guinness is fine. But this is one of the best things he's given me. I'm putting the people who are boring cunt drinkers in. But he is as well. He's not. He is.

He does it to wire me up. I don't think you are. No, I really do like the pageantry. I do enjoy it. Fucking maggots. But he is as well. He's not. He is. He does it to wire me up. I don't think you are. No, I really do like the pageantry. I do enjoy it. Fucking maggots. But I do it more because you get your fucking knickers in a twist. Finn, I've got your vote. I'm 100% with you, mate. Thank you.

Well, it hasn't gone in. It hasn't gone in? No? You failed? Because you're just a joyless twat? And that motion has not passed. Go on, Finn. Was it me? Yeah, why not? I'm putting in something I actually like,

but there's a reason behind me putting it in, which is Football Manager, because I'm scared of it, and I don't like the person I become when I play Football Manager, and how much it consumes my life and my thoughts, and just genuinely confuses me in i'm swearing that richard dunn played for kill marnock and he didn't oh shit uh do you play football

manager yeah i haven't this year for the first time because it's dangerously obsessed and it's it's it should be prescribed in the nhs if you're allowed it. I'd throw FIFA in there then. Yeah, FIFA's the same thing. That's fine. He hasn't got time. He's just watched 16 series of Always Sunny in Philadelphia in three months. If you throw FIFA in with it, I'll give you me vote.

I'll go for both. Because I'm still addicted to FIFA, but FIFA feels a bit more like the methadone compared to the heroin. Yeah. You can't lose money on footy manager, can you? No. They haven't.

Like, that's what's dangerous about FIFA. I mean, like, just give us a little bit more money and you can have this, like, secret pack. Yeah. I think that passes because you're going to get it from me and Kyle. But, like, one of mine is for a similar reason. So, I think they can maybe go in together.

Yeah. I think it's just... It's FIFA only yours? It's dangerous. No. Mine is smartphones. Or should we dunk Finn's and then go to yours? I think Finn's gets it.

I think you can pass it. Thank you. Thank you. Smartphones. Okay. Smartphones have to go in. I'm addicted to it. I sometimes put it down and immediately pick it back up

and go right back on the app I was just on. I've got Sudoku on my phone now, just so I can just be on my phone more doing sudokus i've done 67 sudokus this week i'm not messing i've just checked the last one i've just finished i've finished 67 sudokus this week it's wednesday by the way it's fucking wednesday and yesterday was not a sudoku day i've done one in pokes he did loads i'm sat on pokes in pokes i did two in the car on the way to manchester i'm addicted to stokers because it's just another reason to be on my phone but i can't miss out i can't not have instagram and be on it if you're all on it and all my friends are from

the internet and on it yeah so i can't it needs to be you have a phone in your house that's got instagram and whatever on and it you can go on it from 8pm till 9pm every night. If you're not in your house, you can't use it, and that's the only time you get to... But it has to be everyone. I'm not strong enough to do this on my own, so all smartphones have to go into room 102, because I can't.

But the best feeling in the world is, like, waking up and checking, like, the morning paper, innit? No, but I'd rather but on the way to... I do love that. On the way to Paris, I got a newspaper. I was in business class on the Eurostar, so you get a free newspaper. And I got the New York Times European edition. And I was like, do you know what I'm going to do on this train?

I'm going to read the fucking paper. I don't need my phone. I'm going to read the fucking paper. I didn't touch that newspaper once we were on that train. It in a little pouch in front and i was on my phone for three hours if they need to go in the bin as much as ruining everyone's mind i think you just get re-addicted to snake is it is it social media is that that's the problem no he's saying he's saying it's i'm on sudoku yeah but that's not that bad for you. Because people were doing Sudokus back in the day.

Yeah, but I'll get a Sudoku book then. You ain't addicted to Sudoku. I've done 67 Sudokus this week. I worked a 12-hour shift yesterday and it went for you. That's not bad for your brain, though, is it? No. That's a good thing to be on your phone for. Screen time, looking at a screen is not good for your brain but it's just not good it's melting me mind tv producers now

and people who are making tv shows are getting told you have to dumb your tv show down because people are going to miss so many details by not watching the show i did call it second screen yeah they're like they're like you've got you've got to make it simpler because we understand that people are sort of watching the tv and also scrolling on social media so if it's too complicated they're like this isn't this is too complicated for second screen it's the death it's the absolute death of art and it's because we're all addicted to this and i'm the worst for it and i know i'm always on my phone the second we stop in a minute i will go on my phone and have a look at the same seven apps i I'm the worst for it, but I need it to go in room 102.

And we all need to agree to not have smartphones. And let's just go back to Nokia. And so that I am not missing out because the FOMO is too much. Yeah, it's the FOMO, isn't it? I did that thing on Twitter last night. No, it was good. Yeah. It's that, isn't it?

Oh, Twitter can get in the bin. Smartphones, what are we saying? I don't want to lose it i'm afraid well i i think you would be better if you were on it less but i don't want to lose mine to help you i'm sorry i really like mine do you really you like it i i'm not as mental with it as you are and i have days where i'm like ah this is bad do you know what one of the habits that i'm desperately trying to get out of and if i catch myself doing it i stop is when we finish here we've not had loads of phone time and then i basically what did we do like the adverts or whatever and then i get in the car it's got to walk to the car drive home 40 minutes and then

i get home and i'm like i could really do to just get home and you're like you haven't seen your kids all day and they're they're waiting for you like it's there's moments that it's inappropriate for me like what are you doing here when everyone's gone to bed and you're like jack's going to sleep and there's that quiet half an hour eto be on her ipad or playing or reading or something then that's fine have half an hour but there are moments where i'm like this is the wrong time to be on it but i'm back i can i can balance it but i'm i don't feel mental with it. I can put it down. I'm not begrudging you getting in bed and showing Robert some new TikToks.

Do you know what I mean? I'm not saying you can't do that. That's the hour you get. You know what I mean? I know that shows him Robert's favorite. Do you know what my favorite phone time is when you're on our oddie? Like a city break.

I'll wait for them. I thought we'd moved past Robert, Dan. I was trying to help. I will never. I was trying to help. I will never. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter.

I've not even told you about Uncle Brendan. Robert, come here. Look, how funny is this? Oh, he's in bed with me yeah right right coming back after like a walk

on a trip and you're just lying in bed for like the break just go on your phone before the next activity right the city break right

you just get to that point usually about quarter to four where you're like we need to like have a chill before we have a shower and then go out for tea love that okay I'll alter it to try and get it past mobile smartphones let's all have a smart landline where you can when you get back to your hotel you can go on your landline

that'll be good that's like you just oh how bad's that are we all sharing it etta you've got an instagram no no you can all have your and those are your teas, no. You can all have your own. And those there, your tea's nearly ready. No, you can all have your own landline. Right. If you give me that in the house when I'm happy, I'll let you room what I want.

Because when I'm out and about, I'm actually not that much. Yeah. And we can all get like disposable cameras and those pictures are always better anyway. I'll get him one for New York.

I'm not giving up my little mobile porn. I love it. Little away day. Oh, my iLink. If I put porn on my phone now i cast it to me telly too big for me i feel like i'm in the room you are the room where it happens yeah room on a water um are you gonna are you gonna help him pass no because you rejected it

i gave him on as long as i get the long line what are you saying It's a tough one because I'm, out of the four of us, I'm as addicted as Adam. Oh, are you? Yeah, I'm bad for it. You haven't seen it. At home, it's YouTube is on. Or not comfortable in silence.

No, but I don't class that as that, YouTube. Oh, is it not? To me, it's like, I'm just looking through what people are saying on Twitter. I don't think that's what he means. Oh, right.

That's just a media device otherwise, isn't it? I can tell you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I want to pass it. Has anyone started don't think that's really me. Oh, right. That's just a media device otherwise, isn't it? I can tell you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I want to pass it. Has anyone started on Fallout? It's going in. I would like to pass it.

Oh, when you get the answer you want, you hang up the phone. Billy Bean, mate. Has anyone started on Fallout? No, I don't like the game. As on Amazon Prime? I don't like the game. It's the second most streamed thing ever,

doesn't it, Eddie? Is it? In the first week or whatever, yeah. I didn't even know it was from a fucking game. Fallout's one of the biggest game franchises ever. I think it's fair to say I've been out of the gaming circle. One of my housemates, not Jack, the other lad we live with, he was watching it and it looked shite.

I was quite enjoying it. Dan, what are you... I would like to start with all arsehole hair. I think it needs to go in room 102. Why have we got hairy bums? It's a real fucking design fault. To keep your arsehole. What?

To keep your arsehole. And safe. In the winter. What? Safe? To stop bugs crawling straight up your arsehole. To stop what? To stop bugs crawling straight up your arsehole.

Little gay bugs? Trying to get in my bum bum? No, they're not gay. They're not attracted to it because it's a man's arsehole they just love poo what and warm

yeah it's just a protective layer it's a terrible thing and all arseholes would be better without the hair especially ladies I don't know

I would like or arsehole hair I do appreciate it when a lady has a nice little lamina floor arsehole like yeah can I get I'm not I'm not passing it no one's arguing I would like, or arsehole hair. I do appreciate it when a lady has a nice little lamina floor arsehole. Yeah.

Can I get, I'm not passing it. No one's arguing against arsehole hair. It's shit, isn't it? Yeah, you can put arsehole hair in room 102. Yeah, go. Yeah, thank you. Okay, I've got a few. I've got one more. I've got another one.

Do you want me to do a handful? Or do you want me to just come back to you? Yeah. You go next. We'll do like a draft. I mentioned this a couple of weeks ago. I think the punch bag at all gyms should be taken outside and destroyed

or given to a boxing gym where it's allowed. It is a twat magnet. It's the most stupid bit of equipment. The only people that are on it are mentalists losing their mind, angry about their ex-wife and it's off-putting for everyone else who's just trying to be a normal gym member it's just people going badly like you're not a boxer you're not training to be a boxer get the fuck out of the gym stop making noise while you do it you crazy cunts i hate it i'm not having that oh it's hot

i hate it if i wasn't in gym and you're on the punch bag, I go, are you all right? Why? Why? Why are you getting your fucking out, aren't you?

You're getting biceps bigger. So if you want, what? Bigger biceps. There's loads of equipment for bigger biceps. You just don't look like a threat to women.

Why do you look like a threat to women? It's you. It's angry cunts. I want to fight men. That's why I'm fucking, I want to go to fight a man. Yeah. So you need to go to a boxing gym where they can I want to fight men. That's why I'm fucking, I want to be able to fight a man. Yeah.

So you need to go to a boxing gym where they can train you. No, because in there, they're all already like ready to fight. I need to do a bit of my own first. You know what I mean? It's horrendous. I've been at home.

I do it at home sometimes. I'm sometimes at home. Just in the kitchen. Shoo, shoo, shoo. I'm fucking total fitness. Terrible things. Shoo, shoo, shoo. Hate it.

I want it in room 102. Listen, I have nothing against boxing. I think it's class. Honestly, brilliant. If you want to go to that gym, great. Get the fuck out. Susan's trying to do a PT session, and she's like fucking 58.

I'm with Joey Swole on this. Do whatever you want in the gym. Just be respectful to others. Yeah. I just think it's obnoxious as fuck and you look like a psycho. I think you're just insecure

because it looks like they can all bat you. I'm not giving you a pass on that, Oz. No. Because people go there to get cardio and that's just their way

of doing it. I just think it's offensive. It's the offensive bit of cardio. You've been denied that night, girl. Go. Who was that? First.

No. Old people. Yes. Sorry. Every single old person on the planet who is that first one of you old people yes sorry every single old person on the planet execute them what age are you putting it

60 order 66 except if you love them like my mum oh so if they have someone who loves them oh so it's

it's lonely old people oh that's right no I'm just not thinking what would help the economy if we wiped out all the lonely old people yeah they, that's right. I'm just not thinking... What would help the economy if we wiped out all the lonely old people? Yeah, they're using all the national grid up, aren't they?

They're the ones pumping all the prices up. And they're the only ones who survived COVID because no one went near them for two years. Hang on, they're the ones pumping up the prices? Yeah, because they have the heating on all day, every day. And they're like, oh, it's fucking freezing in here, middle of August. My granddad never put the heating on.

I asked for it once. He was like, yeah, it's only early November. You're like, it was freezing. Oh my God, I'd have to heat it up.

Frabs, mate. In like, yeah. Now. I hate having a heat now. Because you cooked today. Yeah.

No, just old people. Old people do anything. They do nothing for me. Can, can, what, what are they meant to provide a service to podcast producers?

No, I mean, as a human, all they do is take away things from people who actually live on this earth. There is a film about this. It's a sci-fi film. It's quite an old one. It's a bit of a classic where you get to an age and you just get killed.

It's in Midsommar as well. What's the... I love it a lot. It's in Midsommar as well. What's the... I'm having a lot. It's like a sci-fi film. You get culled. You don't provide to society anymore. I put old people's right to vote should go right in.

Once you get to like 50, you're dust, mate. You're just dust. Your opinion shouldn't matter anymore because the future is not yours. You've had your prime, you've had your bit. So it's ours now. We've got five year olds voting. No.

Well, the future's theirs, isn't it? 16 to 50. 16 to 50. 16 to 50. It would be fucking great if you lowered the age of voting to four years old. Like the Liberal Democrats are like, free Smarties for everyone.

Yeah, I like the yellow one. I love that. Oh, in fact, I've just thought of something else. My go. Okay. The fucking Liberal Democrats are going right now. But we're coming back to them.

Kids are lucky, by the way. Kids are next on my list. Children. After all, people. Wow. I just want a whale full of 32 year olds. Yeah. Everyone like mine,

they're like me. Old people can fuck off. Right, can I? Because I get the sentiment and I sort of don't want to get past 80. I think it might need to be raised from 60

because... Okay, 70. Yeah. Give you 70. If he gives you 70, you've still got three more years of a holiday, buddy. Do you know what?

Dan, you can have Robbie as long as you get your vote. Do you know what? Dan, you can have Robert as long as you get your vote. Oh, this has been quite something. Quite something today. The thumbnail, by the way, is just Robert. I'm never going away again, I'll tell you that.

Yeah, 70-year-olds. Just take them all to, I don't know, like a Tesco car park and blow all their heads off the voting thing is like it's the driving driving the fact that they don't have to do it

like they should as soon as you get to 75 you should be like listen it's a rough one but every three years it's not a full driving test

it's just a check you're not like going to murder someone yeah I think when you get a bank card and you're 70, they make it so you have to be Pac-Man before you get your money on. You put your card in and Pac-Man starts

and they're like, you've got to win or you're not getting no money. Because they're like... Get out of my way. I don't even like getting cash out when you're making it worse. All people need to suffer in 102. Put them in, please.

I'm going to give it you. All my grandparents are dead. I'll in, please. I'm going to give it you. All my grandparents are dead. I'll give it you. Finch, can you sweep? I've done stand-up about how much I think that all means. Yeah, go on then. Yes, come on. By the way, if you're like,

my nan-nan's easy and she's doing great. We know, it's just a comedy podcast. Chill the fuck out. I've said this before on this podcast, I'm almost certain, but I always said if I ever did Room 1 or the TV show, that this would be my top one

and I stand by it and it should be in and it shouldn't even be debatable. Unlisted garnishes. Unlisted food garnishes. Sneaky, shitty rocket. Rocket's disgusting. Oh, I like rocket. Are you? Rocket's disgusting. Oh, I like rocket. Oh, of course you do, because you're Welsh, right?

Listen. Listen to me. That's fine. You can have all the rocket you want, but put it on the menu. Why is the one thing that is going to be the overwhelming thing, like you have to move or ease it?

Like, that's the only thing they don't list? Oh, we've got a chicken burger for you there. Chicken burger, mayonnaise, and bacon, and cheese. And you're like, oh, that move or ease it. Like, that's the only thing they don't list? Oh, we've got a chicken burger for you there. Chicken burger, mayonnaise, and bacon, and cheese. And you're like, oh, that sounds great, Dad. Oh, what's that? What's that on there? Oh, it's just a big bush of coriander for absolutely no reason. And it's not on the menu.

Why are you not listing that? I'll tell you why you're not listing it. Because you know no one fucking wants it. You list all this good shit, don't you? And you put this big, horrible, soapy surprise on it for everyone else. Shite, unlisted garnishes. Tell me what you're putting on me plate, and I'll tell you what you can keep in the kitchen. It's all just leaves, isn't it?

Just varying different leaves. There's a leaf. Listen, I like a little salad. I don't mind it. Have you ordered a salad? I don't mind it, yeah. But I just want it in this little... That's because I've got the weird food stuff.

Don't stuff a salad where I've not asked for a salad to be stuffed. Stop it there. Look at that. Yeah, there's some leaves on top of your scone. Don't stuff a salad where I've not asked for a salad to be stuffed. Stop it there. Look at that. Yeah, there's some leaves on top of your scran. You'll have to move that before you start eating. I do agree with that. Salad on burgers as well. It's the same sort of thing.

Unlisted scran. I know you guys. When you get a burger and it comes with tomato and lettuce on. And like raw onion. And they're like, oh, all our burgers come with that on. Write it down then. He's got my back. Fucking write it down.

It comes with all this shite. So I can go, hey love, grab the burger. Hold the shite if you don't mind. Hold it. I'm telling you right now, I just need one of you. No, we get to both of you. Oh yeah, fucking. I'm having to move leaves off me scrammy.

If it goes my head. It's so annoying. Just have some bottle. Is it my go? Yeah. I would like to put into room 107 2 I'm just saying

different numbers every time the delivery drivers that take a picture of you with your feet in it yeah

I don't want a picture of me in my in my sliders thank you on the internet forever on the internet forever yeah they're posting

they're on Instagram yeah it's the Welsh Rockets knees you sure this is delivery drivers people knocking on my door and taking pictures of me it's just annoying and it's a new thing

I don't know why they're doing it to stop the theft just take a picture of the door you need to be in it they need to take a picture of it being delivered because people are going I didn't get my package and the fella's going I fucking left it on the store be in it. They need to take a picture of it being delivered. Because people are going, I didn't get my package,

and the fella's going, I fucking left it on the doorstep. It was, initially, you just had to take a picture on the doorstep, and then some delivery drivers were stealing them. Like, I've taken that picture, I'm fucking having that. And you would do that.

In America, there's a massive thing with this, isn't it? Because I see it on so many ring doorbells, people nicking Amazon packages. I've seen that, yeah. It's why that Amazon drone thing will never work, because you'll just follow a drone, and then packages it's seeing that yeah it's why that amazon like drone thing will never work you'll just follow a drone and then when it lands just take it i wouldn't personally but you know can we ban no it's not the same thing but just like leaflets in your door like it's 2024 just fuck off doesn't work but i mean work it's painful it's just shite

that you've got to recycle but the gaffaffes that aren't on Just Eat and stuff are the best ones, and they deliver menus through the door. I will never order. I'll never ring up anyone and order off a Leafly. That could be the best. The best one in real is you phone or you go there, and it's cash only.

Yeah, but that's because you know that, though, innit? And that's through experience, and then you're sort of working backwards. I don't think you find the best place in the world via a Leafly. It's because you know that though innit and that's through experience and then you're sort of working backwards I don't think you find the best place in the world via a leaflet it's where the mouth

like the best chippy near us is Chayou's on Park Road or Chews actually he connected me on the phone last week is it Chews I went is that Chayou's

and he went it's Chews lads but yeah what you want oh wow is it yeah yeah mmm it's the best but you can't

they do they do they do deliver but only to like 10 streets near the chippy they don't even deliver to ours but you would know

they existed I love it when takeaways are like that that pizza place in Belfast that I found and they were like they're literally like

we do not deliver and there's a queue of like 8 people out the door like a chippy like a like an English chippy on a Friday night. This is just a pizzeria,

because they've just been smashing it for 30-odd years. I can't remember the fucking name of this gaffer's in Belfast. And the woman was like, yeah, of course we don't deliver. Why do we need to do that? Look at the queue. Good for you. You're just great at what you do. Amazon delivery drivers taking pictures.

Yeah, I just don't like it. One asked me for the picture. It feels like... I'd rather someone take a picture of me legs than me knocking a third. I feel like there should at least be some consent there. It should be, can I take a picture? It's just like handing a picture.

Yeah. It's like what happened in Pogues last night. What was that? I just came and took a picture. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Fucking little sneaky round there. He's the ops manager as well.

I fucking kicked up on him. I'll tell you about it in a minute. It's not worth doing it on the internet. I agree with you. I'll give you that one because there is a bit invasive. Are we giving him? I think they're just doing their job. I'm not giving it, you job. I'm not giving it,

you know. I'm not giving it because it's just part of the job. And I'd rather that than ever have the possibility of a parcel going missing.

And you're not famous enough yet for people to be like, oh my God, have you seen his shins are on the internet? They're all over it. Finn's shins?

That'd be a fucking sick and sick outcome. Finn's shins. Get it going. Can I have the liberal democrats please they're a waste of fucking space and honestly it's all it's doing is diluting

the vote to get the tories out now i understand they're a different party i understand they think different things can you just amalgamate into the non tory party help strengthen the labour party bring your policies that you believe in into there let's just have a progressive like alternative to

the Tories. Oh, I really care about Liberal Democrats. You're fucking up the vote for getting rid of the Tories. It's not because they're the medic, no, it's just like two parties running. At least having a third gives it a little bit of... Yeah, but the Tories keep winning fucking elections. I don't think they're going to win this one. No, they might not.

But then the Liberal Democrats are going to be the third party like, he wants a little coalition with us. Fuck off. Get in a proper party. But then the Liberal Democrats are going to be the third party and like, he wants a little coalition with us. Fuck off. Get in a proper party. Influence your, the policies from within it. And let's get rid of the fucking Tories.

There should be two parties in the country. Tories and the not Tories. Please. And also, Scotland, you're stressing me out, man.

I'll give you my vote. Because we need you. We need you. And I know that in your head you're like, well, that's not our problem. But you're like, oh God, but if you give you my vote. Because we need you. We need you. And I know that in your head, you're like, well, that's not our problem. But you're like, oh God, but if you go, how the fuck do we get rid of these? And then the Liberal Democrats are an issue.

I'll give you my vote if you tell me who the leader of the Liberal Democrats is currently. Is it Duncan Ferguson? I hope so, please. It was Tim. No, that was the last election. It's Ed Davey. Ah, Ed Davey.

I've never heard that name. That's how pointless they are. He looks like a background character. He will always be Paddy Ashdown for me. Absolute legend. Is he a goalkeeper? Yeah, he was Paddy Ashdown. Oh, yeah.

And he was the leader of the Liberal Democrats. Played in golf for Celtic. I mean, if it's against Tories, I'm going to give you the vote, but if it's just the Lib Dems, I don't care. They're just there, aren't they? Yeah, they're there, but if they weren't there, it would help. I think it would be good if we just scrapped the current ones and had new ones, all of it,

because there's too much, like, baggage with all of it. Start new parties. Because they're bitchy and they're like, you did this in 1984, you did this in 2006 draw the line in the sand and start again yeah yeah it's all an imperfect system but if you have too many parties you've got what happens in italy where everyone's like right we got some votes you got some votes should we form a little team and it's literally like picking a five-side team to form a government that's a fucking mess i don't think that should be allowed coalitions

are a bit mad aren't they yeah no one's won so what if we don't think that should be allowed. Coalitions are a bit mad, aren't they? Yeah, no one's won. So what if we just partner up? That did so much damage to the Lib Dems siding with the Tories. Yeah, and David Cameron played it an absolute blinder politically. Like, obviously, you look back at David Cameron now and go, ah, it would have been a bit better

if you stuck around a bit longer because he was the best of a very bad bunch of Tories. But when he made the coalition with the Lib Dems, and the Lib Dems only got so many votes because they were like, we're going to scrap tuition fees. And David Cameron was like, just so you know, you can influence our stuff,

but we are going to triple tuition fees. And the fact that Nick Clegg signed up for that just to get a little bit of power and did not realize that he was taken away. And it was such a politically astute move to go, we'll get all the Lib Dem votes next time for us if we just fuck that one, like the thing they led their campaign on.

Let's just fuck that one up for them. Give them this, give them that, give them those little ones, the big one. Fuck it. And it worked. It was pathetic. Nick Clegg's a fucking bellend. And they got absolutely...

Went from three to nine thousand pounds a year can i have it please yeah i mean just for that argument very much um can uh we also put uh pissing in the night in in room 102 i'd love to not pissing in the night i don't want to piss in the night anymore if it was just not a thing that's your age if you that's your age it it might be my age but it doesn't just like switch off so the nights where i'm like i don't need to piss in the night and it's absolutely terrific and it's exactly how it should be should go to sleep and just sleep through i never need to piss in the night i've not pissed in the night terrific is not a good time for you dan you need to be cold pretty soon. Yeah, you're getting to the room. I'm only 43. But you're going to be with the glue pipe

on him before I meet. I'm telling you, I just, everyone should just get the full night's sleep without needing a waz. It's more men than women that as well,

isn't it? Women just sleep through. I don't, I never have to wake up for a wee ever. Maybe that's why I'm lucky, but it's a very rare occurrence. A couple of times a year.

Yeah. Mine's about once a month. I do have to know quite a bit. It wakes you up. Yeah, yeah. I get woke up more sometimes. I'm thankful, yeah. No, but I'm saying you wake up because you need the wee

or you wake up and you need the wee. I wake up to go for a wee and get back in bed. It's usually the fact you need a piss wakes you up. And you can negate this by just not being a twat and having three Diet Cokes. Yeah. Yeah. The only time I ever

wake up for the toilet is when my belly's gone and I need to poo. That happens like three times a year if I've eaten late. You wake up for a poo? I don't think I've ever

woken up for a poo. That's one of the best poos you can have as well. A middle of the night poo. No, it's usually horrible for me. It's usually like my belly's off the wall.

But yeah, wheeze, I'm a good sleeper with that. I can't finish a wee in one go now, though. And shaking isn't as good as it used to be. Yeah. You getting that too? Yeah.

Can't shake it all out anymore. Because I'll put my kegs on and I'll start pissing down my legs. Yes, it's so funny how there's so many of us and the shared experience, the through line of, like, I've been there, where you're like, this used to be loads easier. Now your dick's like, what about this? Yeah. What about this?

You put your cat's back on and piss all over your legs. Oh my God. I was finished. I was finished. It was in five minutes. Yeah. Have you got that yet? How come?

It'll get you. It's eight years for them. It'll get you, baby. Yeah. You think you can piss and then you don't. It's like a fucking powerful tap oh oh no

one bit of fluff on the end of my dick when I go for a wee and the whole thing is embarrassing I'm like oh my god one little bit of fluff and you're like

it goes everywhere yeah listen could you make this investment for your future because I remember when I was like god this is shaking it out

it's not as easy as it used to be it happened to me a long time ago gather round children gather round top and down go and tell story it's your flower pot thing again it's what you're pissing apart or something uh so you stopped that no no i've not stopped that. I, if I, if I don't want to wake the kids up, sometimes I've got this little like white bin and sometimes a piss in that and then click, throw it out in the morning. And if Laura catches me doing it one more time, she'll divorce me. Like an animal.

Like an animal. That's bang out of order. Like an animal. It makes a sound when you're doing it. It makes a little sound Does your room not stink of piss? I don't spill it Dan

Will you sleep? Is that how he speaks? Yeah in my head Thank you for inviting me to the stag couch How do you stop? How do you fix it? You were about to tell us some wisdom then What? the shaking out you said invest in something i'm saying invest in getting rid of pissing in the night because

it's coming for you there'll be a point and i'll be long dead me and robert buried next to each other oh god i hope he never watches this if he watches any episode by the way from now until the end of time it's gonna be something for him i'm gonna have to fake that the podcast ended no they're all repeats don't are you still working repeats yeah when i'm putting in shaking your dick. Shaking your dick after your 30s is hard work. Can you just give me a pissing in the night?

Because it would make my life easier now and it would make your life easier in the future. If it's anything like not being able to shake your dick out, yeah, go. I'm not. Your feet, it's grim. I can't relate. I'm not doing it.

Wait, you're going to piss all over your legs so much more as you get older. Like, you get to a point where your undies being wet is just part of your day. Oh, it's so bad. You know, like now, if your undies were wet because you dribbled a bit into your undies,

you'd feel grim, wouldn't you? You'd notice it. Yeah, I'd want to change. Sometimes you're like, fuck, they're dry. Wow. You shake and go, that's done. And. Wow. Yeah. You shake and go, that's done,

and then you will pull your pants up and go, hey! And you'll just piss all over yourself. I don't want to do that. Get older, you will now. And it's not even old, we don't need a jersey.

It's good, mate. So are we going to do this every time a guest's in? See if they're up for it. Yeah. We'll throw these. This is going to suit a guest time a guest's in see if they're up for it yeah we'll throw these we'll throw this is

this is going to suit a guest I think yes yeah we'll ask them to prep it I'll bring at least one every week from now on I enjoyed that

yeah well ladies and gents as we mentioned earlier sign up to the Patreon patreon.com slash have a word pod an outstanding array of extra content

if you enjoy our bullshit. And obviously this is a guestless episode and this is what we do on the patron exclusives every week. That unadulterated, unfiltered lid bullshit that we've perfected over the years. About 40 specials, about 150 of those exclusives,

all other good stuff. I'm off to New York City, baby. Yankee doodle doo. Are you playing an arena in Liverpool? In a few weeks, yeah. There's a few tickets left for that. Where do you get them? Come to the arena.

Go and to watch Amazing Mind in an arena in New York. Get the vibe. Bring that energy back. Smash the arena. Go to Nashville. Bliss. Over to the music. Yeah.

Oh, God. Oh, by the way, yeah, there's some guest list episodes now. We'd rather do a good episode with just us than a week or one with a guest. Like, if you want to comment and let us know some guests that you want us to get in,

but we're just not forcing it anymore. We're not just going to get someone in for the sake of it. Like, the episodes don't do any less views. In fact, they often do more views when there isn't a guest in. And sometimes the guests come in and it's just a bit like trying to get some people on board but what we do is uh not always the easiest thing in the world so we'd rather just

do this because it's just better and they won't have my uncle robert on they're just i keep asking yeah we're not going anywhere we're not changing it we're just uh we're trying to keep the quality high aren't we yes um'm going to be two more weeks of me promoting my stuff and then we can move on and we can keep slagging them off so my song

Dead Time is out on the 10th of May it'll be on next week's episode it's just it's a good song you've heard it it is a good song is it

like Finn's I'll play it for you after this why don't you just play it now because it's not out yet so there's no point people I need people to stream it just play a little section for them

maybe I don't think so we'll play it next week go and pre-save it it does me the world of good it genuinely does I enjoy doing music more than anything

and he wants to leave us and you're going to help him leave us so I think he does I think he wants to keep releasing music

so he can do that every time he releases it. Yeah, that's fine. This week is by, is a band called Castle, or it could be. Castel. It could be Castel or it could be Castech,

which means castle in Welsh. I'm not sure. Are they a Welsh band? No, they're from Essex. Well, it's not going to be Welsh then, is it, babe? Maybe one of them's Welsh. Essex, right. Oh, right, boys, what we're calling a fucking band. What is they're from Essex. Well, it's not going to be Welsh then, is it, babe? Maybe one of them's Welsh, I don't know.

Boys, what we're calling a fucking band. Well, it's just Welsh world for Kestel, Kestec. Oh, it's fucking, oh. Wendy going there in the end. Fucking left Essex there, boy. Well, they've described themselves as a synth wave artist, reminiscent of artists like Phil Collins, Michael Jackson, The Weeknd, and Bruno Mars.

You can't say we're like and then list four things that are not like each other at all. I'm just repeating what's been said. I'm just a bit like Phil Collins and Michael Jackson, me. Phil Collins, Michael Jackson. They're very synthy. White. Phil Collins is class, by the way. Yeah.

A mass of Tory cons. Even Phil Taylor. Moved abroad to avoid all taxes and that. he said he'd be the last one to turn the lights off if Labour won an election

as he left the country oh wow well anyway although mate Jesus Philip Bailey

makes it a tune what's it called I always thought that was a woman Jesus he loves me and he knows I'm right I love that one

as well anyway she's an easy lover she can't hold all you believe in her I love that one as well. Anyway, this is... She's an easy lover. She'll get a hold on you. Believe it. Woo! Like no other.

Oh, you know it. You'll be on your knees. I just remembered how pissed I was last night on that special. Well, this is not Easy Lover by Phil Collins. This is Castell, and this is their tune beach coma oh introduce it thanks for listening to have a word fm this is castell with beach coma castell and this is beach coma oh thank you romford so Last night passed out with the life song Sometimes I forget my name

Switched lanes, down roads that I'm lost on Need time to correct my aim I've got my ticket out of here I'm not lost in space Just need some color on my face If you can reach my number I'm laying in a beach coma I ain't lost my way

Just bending over the string If you can reach my number Outro Music Out there where I cut the line off Retreat to assess my state These white hot sands I'll recline on Burn up on the lasting pain I've got my ticket out of here I'm not lost in space Just need some color on my face

If you can't reach my number I'm laying in a beach coma I ain't lost my way Just bending over the strain If you can't reach my number I'm laying in a beach corner. Thank you. I'm not lost in space Just need some color on my face If you can reach my number I'm laying in a beach coma

I ain't lost my way Just bending over the string. If you can reach my number. I'm laying in a beach coma. Thank you.