Have A Word with Adam Rowe & Dan Nightingale - #28 Shutdown Pod (VIA ZOOM) -w/Adam & Dan

Episode Date: April 9, 2020

Thanks to our sponsors Beer52.com, TransAlloy Wheels LTD and Vauxhall Comedy Club, follow us @haveawordpod and find us on YouTube. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What's happening guys, it's Adam here. Just a quick word from our sponsors before we kick off today's episode. That is Beer52.com Beer52 is the UK's most popular craft beer discovery club. They're number one, baby! And they'll send you some amazing beers every month and you can rate and review them via their website to earn points and rewards. Now every month's beers that you get sent will have a brand new theme.

Past themes have been the beers of Germany, California, Belgium, Korea, New Zealand, South Africa and many, many more. And they've kindly given our listeners an exclusive offer. You'll get a free case of eight beers, an award-winning beer magazine

and a tasty snack the second you sign up. They'll send them out in the post here. And you can't catch Corona from the post. All you have to do is pay a few quid

for the delivery and you can cancel or pause your membership at any time. Sign up now at beer52.com slash word. That's our exclusive link.

That's B-E-E-R 52.com slash W-O-R-D. You'll claim your free case of beer and for every person that signs up via that link only. They slide us a little bit of money.

That supports the podcast. It helps us out. It's win-win. So do us a favour. Pause the pod here. Go and do that now and then enjoy the episode. Nice one. See you in a bit. Fucking did pod here. Go and do that now. And then enjoy the episode. Nice one.

See you in a bit. Fucking did it in one take, bro. Yeah, man. Pokey, pokey, picking a pokey. Good morning, job seekers. Oh my God. Okay, it's happening. Catch me outside.

How about that? Have you never seen me before? Upset me. Nasty bitch. I'm big-boned. I'm heavy-structured. I'm hung low. If I pull my shit out this know it, and I feel like podcasting. Two mics, two lids, and a lot of time on their hands.

This is Have a Word. Shut down dailies. Let's get through this mess together. Oh, Jesus, we're back. Oh Jesus. This is an early record for us, isn't it? Honestly, I don't know if I'm coming or bloody going, Adam. You've got me at sixes and fucking sevens. And at quarter to one.

What's going on in your world? What's going on in your world? What's going on in your world? So, as some of the listeners will know, my best friend lives in Japan, and his mum is disabled, and I was away for the minute, so I was like, does she need anything?

He was like, well, you get her some shopping. So today was going to be my shopping day. I was going for our house, my dad, who can't get the shop either, and my mates, my... I got to the Home and Bargain. I got to the Asda. I didn't realise this was going to be a sad story.

Now tell the story, Adam. I got to the Tesco. I got to the Asda. And the queues are fucking massive, mate. Oh, really? Ridiculous. It's like Alton Towers during the summer holidays on a Saturday afternoon.

But the ride is the bread aisle. What? You've got to be this tolerant of gluten to ride. There's a little food tolerance test at the start of it. Nothing to do with height. Do you come up in hives if you have fucking tea cakes? Oh, that is funny as fuck.

The queue for Home and Bargain is genuinely about half a mile long. That's not an exaggeration. A half mile queue to get in for Home and Bargain is genuinely about half a mile long. That's not an exaggeration. A half mile queue to get in for Home and Bargain. What's it called? Home and Bargain? Yeah. Home Bargains? Oh, God.

I forget. You're not from Liverpool sometimes. We don't call it Home Bargains. We call it Home and Bargain. But it's not called Home and Bargain. But it is, though. It is. Is it? It's Home and Bargain. But it's not called Home and Bargain. But it is, though. It is. Is it?

It's Home and Bargain. It originated in Liverpool. It was called Home and Bargain. Oh. And then it went national and they changed the name to Home Bargains. It's fucking Home and Bargain, mate. Don't start with me today. This is very unusual for Liverpool,

because, I mean, we've been hanging out quite intensively over the last fucking three months and you tend to shorten the words to everything like the Aussie the fucking Aussie is that the hospital is the Aussie yeah why are you

throwing an extra fucking syllable in home bargains then but we're not home and bargain because yeah because yours is home and bargains ours is oh man bargain so it's the same syllables

there's no and in ours dickhead because it's called home bargains home bargains oh yeah man i tell you what people must listen to this going, God, sometimes these two are really insightful. And then other times, I think we just basically make ourselves look like the first special needs podcast that's going quite well. Like, home, home bargain, let me count the noises. That was a fucking choice moment. The queue for home bargain, fucking home bargain, is massive. What do you need?

What? What's going on? It's only like Thursday massive. What do you need? What? What's going on? It's only like Thursday afternoon. What's happening? It's fucking mental. Is everyone stocking up because they're at home for the Easter weekend?

I think it's because. So obviously the two metre rule makes the queue longer. Yes. Because normally it'd be quite tight to pack. So that adds to it. And also,

it's not like the shop is fucking, it's not like a nightclub where there's like it's wall to wall in a home and bargains and it's like discount noodles i want some eggs i want some soup it's not like that oh look at the price of the fish and chip crisps it's one pound for six kunta oh it doesn't taste like fish and chips but i remember from childhood i was born in it molded by it oh god so it's quieter because there's a limit and that's why the queue's out the door

but everyone's trying to go at the same time because I've heard about all these queues and if you go and do my supermarket sweep technique at 7, quarter past 7 there are no fucking queues all the old people are doing early everyone else can fight over it at lunchtime, I am not queuing

in a fucking coronavirus queue, like oh it's fine I don't know how I got corona, I just waited in a massive line two metres apart with all these dirty fuckers going to home bargains that they say wrong, I'm not doing it Home bargain Yeah cool

Fucking raving round I went to the Tesco, the Tesco's I'm not doing it yeah cool I was not just there either I went to the Tesco the Tesco's waste the queue is sneaking round the car park you know I swear to god I'll send you a video

of her in a bit there's like a queue the length of the car park and then it turns and there's another queue the length of the car park and then it turns and there's another queue

the length it's also all the fucking midnight gremlins which you and me are definitely part of that also all the fucking midnight gremlins which you and me are definitely part of that scene all the people

at work and like nightclubs comedians sex pests wrongans they all go for the one in the morning

shop and they can't do that because they're not letting you do that so all of a sudden us fucking night time shopping zombies

have got to deal with all these like we go at the same time every Thursday what about the pandemic I don't care it's the same time zombies have got to deal with all these like we go at the same time every Thursday what about the pandemic I don't care it's the same time I've got my schedule it's fucking maddening

I like those midnight shops I don't want to be in queues I don't give a shit about virus or two metres hate queuing for fucking anything once you get in it does constantly feel like you get midnight shop level busyness inside the shop at the minute. Yeah.

Because you'd only allowed 20 people in at once. Yeah, yeah. And usually, in the afternoon, before the pandemic, on the afternoon, Tesco staff,

all the fucking shop staff would be nice to you because their fucking managers are watching. At the midnight shops, you go to a fucking Tesco, like we've discussed at two in the morning, everyone's like, what the fuck are you doing here dickhead i just

want to shelf stack shelves and just be angry about my ex-wife and then all of a sudden now you're in there in the afternoon on a thursday afternoon and all the staff are looking at you like why are you fucking here trying to cough corona on me you can fuck off it's amazing it's just daytime zombie shopping i have the shops by you put those big plastic screens in front of the tills yes they have our small little village co-op which is i mean is never that busy anyway i've not seen a queue there yet uh they've put those screens up but i mean maybe i'll drive to yours then maybe i'll drive to co-op in Chester after the pardon then I'll get my shopping done

yeah it's not because Chester's just it's there's less people there and it's not as and I'm not having a go at Liverpool

but Liverpool has got an edge on it and it's got an edge in it's football it's comedy it's sense of humour just walking down the street as much as I fucking

love Liverpool I make a lot of my living there hot water's the best thing to happen to British stand-up for fucking years just walking down the street as much as i fucking love liverpool i make a lot of my living there hot water is the best thing to happen to british stand up for fucking years i will say this not always an easy walk shut up i can talk into a scouser and you're calling me like i genuinely walk into the car sometimes i'm like fuck me this gets eggy getting shit off children homeless people aggressive women i'm like yeah i'm in Liverpool and then you get in the comedy club you can have the best gig of your life you can also get sexually threatened by young women you can get fucking

that it's mental it's it's like a it's like living but on a higher frequency and then you get to Chester and you just got loads of old people and people go isn't it nice lovely like architecture and down the river and that reflects in the tesco and the fucking home bargains it's just a bit more chilled out there's still some knobheads no sir there's no there's still i detect the accusation that liverpool has got an edge no sir you are wrong roll up your flaps madam and get back in your insults my people don't you dare tell me that they are an aggressive people we are a meek, we are a meek

person in the city of Liverpool that's so weird mate I could just literally play you back a small snippet of yesterday's episode and you'd be like oh yeah yeah yeah this whole fucking podcast functions mainly because you get riled up about what do you think about Jacob's cream crackers?

He can fuck off as well. The dry bastards. I fucking ate them. Fucking Tory crackers. You go down home and bargains. You spend 12 pence. You get a fucking kilogram of crackers. I grew up on them crackers.

Spread. What am I? A fucking billionaire. Hey, people. I love the edge. I'm just saying, as the Chester is less fucking aggro than Liverpool's Tesco, I bet you. I bet you.

But yeah, it is a bit quieter. Do those screens even work? I'm throwing it out there. Do they do anything? Or is it just for them? Is it for the staff to be like, we're safe now? Are you like, yeah, I'm not sure. Of course they do something. Because it's a big plastic screen that no spittle could get through, isn't it?

So it's just for spittle. Because can germs go up and around? They can like, we can't go under it. We can't go over it. We've got to go round. We're going on a human hunt. We're going on a human hunt. We're not

mate the COVID-19 is just a really like fucking chipper cub camp oh dear I think they do work I don't think like I seen a graph the other day and it said like if you when you breathe

your virus particles go almost straight down like within half a meter. Oh do they? If you cough they can go up to two meters and if you sneeze they can go up to eight. Whoa. Wow.

Seen a graph and it was a real graph because it was on the internet. Mate we love a curve in this country all of a sudden this is the infraction curve we're trying to lessen the curve and this is your projectile COVID-19 so it's like on the

27th of April that's when the peak of the UK's virus that's when the most people are going to die in one day it's going to be nearly 3000 so we're gigging 28th then? Honestly, if you speak to some comedians, if you speak to some comedians, they're still like,

so it should be all right by May. What do you think? Because they've said they're just closing things down for three weeks. They're like, motherfuckers. Tune in. I tell you what, those screens,

talking about cities with an edge, i.e. Liverpool and all major fucking cities, let's be honest. But you know, I remember the first time I ever went to Anfield, when my dad taught me, like mid-90s, see McManam and score twice. I remember driving through traffic

towards the game, towards Anfield. Was that coming in from, because we live in Preston, come like North Liverpool, down into North Liverpool, don't you? And I, in the not because we live in preston come like north liverpool down into north liverpool don't you and i we in the traffic we slowly went past the shop with plastic all the protectors in like and i remember as a kid looking at that going fuck me i've never seen that before like yeah we've had them in off licenseslicences for a long time. I thought that would have been an off-licence. People selling Buckfast in a fucking crystal maze room. It was... Only one can enter.

And now, I mean, that looked maybe a little bit tetchy, didn't it? But now that looks fucking sensible. Can't get shot by smackheads and you can't get fucking Rona. You need them. You're primed to get fucking robbed if you're a fucker if you've got all the alcohol in the world aren't you there's more value in that stock than there is in like a small little local shop yeah yeah i understand yeah totally i understand why they're there i just never seen them before because i come from a softer shit bit than fucking West Lancashire. I'm really sorry. I mansplained then.

I mansplained and do you know what? That's a toxic trait that I need to work on. I'm trying to work on myself at the minute and I'm trying to... Stop eating vegetables. What the fuck is going on? I want Adam back. Who is this liberal nightmare

that keeps popping up just because you've had a beetroot? Like, the thing is, Dan, this lockdown is a time for self-reflection and I'm reflecting on myself. There's a lot of toxic masculinity that I need to let go of. Oh my God, you need to get out of the house and away

from Jade. I know she's lovely and I know you love her and I hope you spend the rest of your life with her, but you need to spend less fucking time with her because her insipid little meh-meh-meh is getting in your mind, mate. Your stand-up's going to be so lame when you come out of the corona fucking lockdown. Hey, guys, who's drinking tonight?

If you're not, that's fine. That's your choice. And balanced diet includes balanced alcohol, so that's brilliant. I see there's some women in here tonight, and I really, you know, your right to equal pay is something that I totally support.

Daniel, listen. Thank you, thank you and you'll listen what you're doing here is you're no platform in my change and i can't have that so this needs to stop if this is going to become uh it's going to become an untenable podcast relationship if you don't accept that i'm becoming a better man okay and look well before it's okay for you to accept that like this might rub off on you maybe you'll become a better man when you rub off and you'll stop being such a creep with women you know like after shows and they ask for selfies and you grope their bum that needs to stop daniel that needs to stop i just cup a little bit of side boob because you can a bum's too obvious in it but you're like like, oh, I've got you from that. And then you're like, oh, what's that shoddy bra?

Right, well, this, I totally, now you've literally shown me where I've been going wrong, but this is from my mate Adam. He wasn't a big flapping vagina. Hey, you prefer like tits or ass? Hey, he prefer, like, tits or ass?

Hey, hey! It's back! Are you a tit, an ass, or a leg, man? Which one are you? Upset me, nasty bitch! Well, I'll be honest, mate. I don't know if it's just since I met Laura, but Laura has a fat, P-H stroke, F-arse. She has got some boot, boot boot boot hey girl got back baby got

back oh my god she's got a phenomenal boot because the first time we had sex i remember i remember looking down i've told her this i looked down and went jesus that is something else that and i and i think over the last five or six years i don't know if i was ever a boob man or i just like just wanted to i just like girls but now i need a bit of junketh in the trunketh oh definitely i'm a bit of an ass man did you just invent junketh in the trunk yeah that's that's the old the old ass man that's the if you if you liked a little bit of ass in the middle ages like thou dost enjoy junketh in the middle ages like thou dost enjoy junkers in the trunkers junker in the trunker i like a i like a bit of a curvaceous i need a little bit of even when i'm looking at the old pornography which i have done from time to time i can't be doing with the little skinny girls the skinny girls i'm like oh i just feel bad i just feel bad even masturbating how about you i think it's

gonna like break a rib if i even think about you no see i i my taste differs depending on my mood sometimes i like a big butt sometimes i like a skinny little thing that you look like you could throw all around the room yeah yeah i know what you mean you do you do that you're into different pokemon as. What are we doing? The one with the big ass. Has Pikachu got a big ass? Big, big, fat... Pikachu's a little mouse. Yeah, but he's got a fucking big ass, hasn't he?

He's all ass, Pikachu. There's no context to have a word. He's got a big ass Pikachu. That guy's fucking brutal. Have you been doing the past 24 hours? Oh, just been really, just taking it. I feel like I'm in a groove now. I feel like we're all in a bit of a groove.

My mate from the Navy told me there is a two-week adjustment period, and I don't know if he just told me that to make me feel better, but Matthew Rees, you've done me the world of good, because a week into the shutdown, I two days within within about 72 hours i'd had two shitty days and i was feeling ill for one of them and i was worried that that was going to just come in a little cycle you know like you'd be like all right for a bit and then you'd be fucked off for a bit but he said when they go on the submarine or ship the lads who are going on their first deployment they watch them more carefully because he's an officer he's one of the more senior officers and he they it's their duty to sort of watch over them and when you first

get deployed there is that first week of like oh it's going to be amazing it's an adventure fuck what's going on i'm going to be trapped in this fucking submarine oh shit and then after two weeks if you're on there how long the submarine's down there for nuclear Nuclear submarines, I think, listen, there might be some Navy boys who are going, you're a fucking moron. I think because they can generate their own air and water, I think basically they can go forever. They really, yeah.

Honestly, they just have to fill up the food store. So the logistics officer, the logistics officer is the guy who basically fills up All the toilet roll And the food And they fill it all up And they work through it Once that's run out

They have to come up for They have to Well they have to come up For a fucking co-op That's Apparently that's totally true They can just keep going So it's up to six months

On a submarine They go up to six months Maybe that's why he's home on bargain And that's so busy today Maybe there's just a load of submarines That are finding around to food maybe that's what it is some rush that looks so dodgy wouldn't it oh fuck off the whirl in new brighton in a co-op there's a massive queue outside loads of fucking we're all nannies and then like loads of russian sailors like no it's no it's fine i'm just getting through don't go to beach it's very dangerous

think there's a beached whale that will fucking shoot you if you go within 100 meters so apparently i fucking love donna rajan you don't even know um apparently if at two weeks you're feeling pretty good that's you adjusted and you're on form. And that has, since he told me that, I don't know if it's psychosomatic, but I'm like, yeah, I do feel good. I think I've got through this. So I am in a, I'm rolling pretty well. Cool.

I'm getting worse. I'm not even messing. Do you know what? It was you know what it was the cool it was the cool cool right well let me tell you about my shit show it's off the fucking rails lad

I'm getting fucking itchy man I need I need a game of footy I'm tempted to buy a footy and just go for a game on my own against the wall like I just that would be the most

Liverpool thing ever. You know, in Italy and in Barcelona, they played videos of a guy going on his balcony with a keyboard and playing and the whole courtyard singing and then they all cheered. It'd be amazing if someone just got a sports direct fucking football, banged it out of the

front door and then all of a sudden you saw the ball just bang over to another neighbour's and they just had a massive game of keep you up on the avenue. Oh, phenomenal. Did you see the Brooklyn one of those sing-alongs with Biggie Smalls? Oh yeah, juicy. It was sick.

Like the whole block of Brooklyn it was all a dream. I used to read one up magazine. Oh you know. Limousine. Hangin' pictures on my wall so every saturday rap attack was the magic molly mo such great spitting spit some rhymes is that the right term because you know hip-hop so well and so just talk me through it notorious big he was he was like quite he was it was a metaphor but he was, metaphorically big as well. He did quite well, didn't he? Successful. And he,

he was, yeah, he was, he was basically like the, the, the S club seven of his generation. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. A lot of people I've, I've heard a lot of hip hop heads talk about that. And then, and yeah. And then, uh,

the out there, but, but brothers don't stop. We'll go, we'll go. They were pretty good as well. Yeah. And then vanilla ice they did

don't let the dogs house i know that was the bar harman yeah well they were obviously legendary as well like tupac the bar harman yeah it's great to learn about hip-hop from you oh and the guy from snap rhythm is a dancer who's like i'm serious as cancer when i say rhythm is a dancer he's like an all-time great as well isn't he he? And that, ladies and gents, is white people talking about rap. Do you know Liverpool used the Baja men's Who Let The Dogs Out for a chant? So it was, Who let the Reds out?

Who? Who? Lier. Back when we had Gerard Hulier as our manager. I would suggest that one has not stood the test of time. Is that fair to say? That's not one that I... I tell you what, lads,

who whip out some of the old classics that are on the cop, and they're like, I'm a bit bored of the recent ones. Let's knock out a few old ones, eh? Phil Babb! He's a lad! Phil Babb, he's a lad! This is the stupidest opening section we've ever done.

I'm having a great time. Adam's life's gone to shit. He's fucking having a panic attack. And I'm like, hey, let's do my old trick of making up stuff. I had two panic attacks last night. I couldn't leave the fucking house because I'd already done my daily exercise and I didn't want to get fucking arrested. And I went to get me shopping before.

There's no bread in. I've had to use old bread to make a sandwich before. It's two days out of date. I'm probably going to get sick. All right, well, let me... And you're all sat there like, oh, but I've got a baby and a wife with a big arse, so life's great.

It's good for fucking you. Let me cheer you up with one of the old football songs. V God Heggum. He's not from Peckham. Fuck off, Dan. I'm going to fucking go to bed. Let's do the next section. This is not a podcast at the minute.

This is a breakdown that you're enjoying. That's all it is. Oh, God. We're going to, honestly, we're going to get you through this, Adam. We're going to get you through this. Thank you. I appreciate it. Let's just have a word

from our new sponsor I'd like to tell you about Trans Alloy Wheels Limited alloy wheel refurbishments, car body work and customisation services in Leeds and throughout West Yorkshire we are a well trusted family run business doing work for major companies such as Arnold Clark

and Direct Line, we are passionate about our work we thrive on perfection. This is a quote from a happy customer. Trans alloy wheels, and I'm deadly serious when I say it, it's the best finish I've ever seen on a set of wheels. Their attention to detail is commendable. We add value to your car at low cost with specialist trained technicians and the latest tech and experience.

Using the same factory manufacturing techniques as the biggest car companies, we can repair the wheels as new finish. If you can't afford a new car because of the Rona, come and have your wheels colour changed or refurbed. All Have A Word listeners will receive 25% off everything we do. And what we offer is powder coating, diamond cutting, painting, new tyres, acid stripping and shot blasting, tyre fitting and removal, well crack repairs and buckles, car body repairs,

pick-up delivery service and insurance work. We've got a 4.7 on the old Google review. We've got five-star Facebook reviews. Find us on Facebook, Insta or online. That is Trans Alloy Wheels Limited. Ah, thank you. OK, boys, let's do another feature already. Are you really struggling, Adam?

I feel like I'm making very light of it, but that's the worst response to, I had two panic attacks last night. Yeah, yeah, good point, but I've just made up a rhyme with V God. Which is, are you all right? Are you okay? I'll be all right.

It's not the panic attacks I can deal with them, because I'm a fucking adult, and I know how to deal with my anxiety. It's just the boredom starting to get to me. I can't play anymore FIFA because I'm going to smash my PlayStation up if I can see another shit goal. I don't want to do that. I need it

for Amazon Prime. Yeah. You need another outlet, don't you? What can you do? I need some sport in my life. I need the footy back. Or, oh, someone told me last week

there's a solution for this. Go on. So I'm going to get the NFL game pass. Yes. And I'm going to go back and watch old NFL games that I don't know the scores of. Oh,

there is a, if you go to nfl.com slash Chris Wessling or slash Wessling, there is a writer for the NFL who does the Around the NFL podcast. He's listed the 20 best games on Game Pass. And he doesn't list the results,

but they are the most exciting of the last sort of 10, 15 years or whatever. So that would be worth a fucking watch because I have obsessively watched the NFL for like seven or eight years, but even I don't know the old results from unless there's like a famous playoff game but that would be a lot of fun yeah I'm definitely going to do that either later today or tomorrow

not to make light of the panic attacks but there's this thing been banging around Twitter that essentially our listeners came up with ages ago which is would you rather would you rather be stuck in a shutdown with so-and-so or so-and-so? Well, it kicked off on Twitter.

It's called Choose Your Quarantine House. And Adam, I've done your very own, and we're going to do it properly. Welcome to everyone's new favourite game. It's Choose Your Quarantine House with your host, me me Dan Nightingale and your permanent contestant Adam Rowe

I've been doing great no panic attacks here I've been downloading fucking terrible music Adam choose your quarantine house the lid special now

right these are all in your place. Jade is gone. She's not dead. She's not left you. She's not gone for a four-hour drive post-argument. She just doesn't exist anymore. She exists in a different place. She'll be back one day.

You have to share your quarantine house with these people. Choose. Choose your quarantine house. First option. Sorry. A vegan or a chronic masturbator? So, who would you rather quarantine with? A vegan or a chronic masturbator?

Well, Jade is already a vegan. so you're asking me do i want to share a house with my missus or a chronic wanker yeah but what i would say is what i would say is do i want to live with jade or have you move in but what i would say is last night you had two panic attacks so maybe me as a chronic masturbator not looking too bad is it I'm going to go with the vegan what a fucking romantic yeah I don't

I'm not having someone come in and test my title of the biggest wanker in the house that is me and it always will be I am biggest wanker in the house. That is me, and it always will be. I am the wanker of the home. That's the reason you're appalled by it. It's not like, oh, stop wanking in the kitchen. Who wanks in the kitchen?

That's the worst place to wank. Where's it going? Oh, but actually that you don't want to be. How competitive are you? That's amazing. Yeah, I'm the best at being competitive. that you don't want to be. How competitive are you? That's amazing. Yeah. I'm the best at being competitive. That was funny.

Done a joke. Good job. I mean, it didn't make me laugh, but it made me press a button. That's the next best joke. Go on, next one. You invented the game. Let's play it.

OCD clean freak. Would you's play it. OCD clean freak. Would you rather quarantine with an OCD clean freak or a slob? Adam, your answer, please. Well, again, you're asking me that I want Jade to move out because I've already got a slob. But on this case, yeah,

get her the fuck out the house, get an OCD clean freak in and they'll sort the house out for me, won't they? Yeah, but it's not going to get a bit annoying, bit annoying though and because i mean it's not just someone tidy it's an ocd clean freak i mean it's spotless spotless it'll be amazing it'll be amazing i've lived with someone who suffers ocd and you it is good for a while and then this was barry dodds did they actually suffer ocd though or were they just one of these people who were like, oh, suffer OCD

because I've run a hoover over the living room? Yeah. No, it's, Barry's actually got OCD. And you know Barry Dodds, don't you? Barry Dodds from the Parapod. He has, yeah, he's got proper, not like, it's not ruined his life but it's made him more of a bellend.

That's a great sound by that it's not ruined his life but it's made him more of a bellend what happened to john his wife left him it's not ruined his life but it's made him more of a bellend what happened to mark he lost his job not ruined his life but it's made him more of a bellend i listen barry listens and he's one of our fucking patrons so god bless that man but um living with him this is fucking 10 15 years ago but wasn't particularly easy because you you do feel guilty when there's someone with basically a tidying illness constantly tidying up around you like you you think oh it's great i just won't have to tidy up but then you're like oh god it's hard work and then we also realized that we're like you'd leave oh it's great i just won't have to tidy up but then you're like oh god it's hard work and then we also realized they were like you'd leave like a magazine out or try and make

the room look it constantly looked like we were just about to move out you know when you tidy away you know when you move house and you get all your stuff in boxes and you leave the furniture that just goes in the van and it's's absolutely sparse, it's bare. There's like a TV table, you think, and you'll put those in last. That's how our house looked for two years. It just looked like we were about to move out at any point, because he would just constantly fucking tidy. My friend Kate John, who lived around the corner,

was like, it's like he's trying to remove any evidence that you've existed. And I was like, oh like he's trying to like remove any evidence that you've existed and I was like oh oh god it is like I am a real person have I been here do I live here hang on is this why Barry believes in ghosts because he's like who's moved that fucking lamp

and you're like wasn't any of us mate it's you you mad cunt take the marigolds off and have a fucking nap. Yeah, it's not... Having an OCD person, you haven't told me anything that makes me less...

I want someone like that to move in here. That's like having a maid that you don't have to pay. Yeah, is Jade a slob, though? I mean, we've lived with a slob separately, but... I mean, that is hard work, isn't it? Daniel, Dan I'd rather have Danny Mac here than Jade

No, come on He who shall not be named rather than Jade Say that What are you doing? Adam's off I think he's gone for another panic attack it's open

why is she opening the tins Adam we've discussed this that could last till fucking doomsday that tin open chocolate unfinished she's thin what else can you find Adam empty can of Pepsi it's untidy but it's not slobby is it As long as she's thin. What else can you find, Adam?

Empty can of Pepsi. It's untidy, but it's not slobby, is it? It's not our mug. I'm worried about what you're going to pull out of here. Jazzy knickers. Now, are these yours, though, Adam? Are they definitely all hers? No, they're fucking not. Mine are in the fucking bin

right it is hard it is hard living with a grubby fucker though isn't it she's in the next fucking room and I can't even get it out you want us like as she started

I'm doing that thing now I'm whispering as well Adam has she started has she started listening to the podcast yet no has she not she never will. I doubt it.

I hope not. Well, good. You'll know exactly at what point she gets to episode 28. It's like, fuck you! Fucking nightmare. Okay, next option. Adam, in your quarantine house, would you rather quarantine house with a sex addict, a proper nymph,

or a nun? Is the sex addict a woman? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, a sex addict. But I mean, full on, mental, but just reasonably attractive, quite clean, not particularly fit fit just like a six out

of ten and the nun is also a six but you know she's got a fucking outfit no the sex addicts are you mad would you rather have a nice big bowl of dog shit or some cereal? Oh, that's literally, that is the lowest, that's the first, that in the book that is this quarantine, you've just literally read the cover and gone, oh, it's fucking, obviously you have sex. I'm talking a sex addict who needs sex constantly. How many times can you have sex a day?

How many times? She wants it 10 times a day. She wants it 10 times a day she wants it 10 times a day yeah but after a while i can just go i can't do it anymore and then she'll be constantly out you're like yeah yeah she'll be like and then if you're able to go again yeah i know but what am i going to do till then and you're trying to play fever and she's just like wanking next to you on the couch or you're describing my dream. Or. Sister Mandy.

I can't think of a nun's name. No, let's do it like a scouse like Chantel. Sister Chantel. She had a bit of a rough fucking teenage life, but she's fucking converted at 19. If there's a nun, first of all, she's going to tell me masturbation is fucking against God's way or whatever. So not only can I not fuck her, she's not going to let me have a wank. She's going to be bursting masturbation is fucking against God's way or whatever so not only can I not fuck her she's not going to let me have a wank she's going to be bursting in

fuck it I'll take Adam Jesus will fucking come down and smite you in a minute yes so he will yes he will stop playing with your fucking willy stop now put your willy away get your fucking tea on I didn't say an aggressive like nun she's going to have her room you're going to have hers she's not going to bang through the door

she'll be like good good night, Adam. I want the info. Good night and God bless. I'll pray for you tonight, Adam. When you're touching your dirty willy, I understand it. All men, nuns are very worldly in a way. You know, they understand. And you can sit there.

You'll be playing FIFA. Wow. Wow. Send me the slots. I don't think you've come. I don't think. How many times can you have sex in a day? I don't think you've... I don't think... How many times can you have sex in a day? I don't think you've got more than...

Three or four, I reckon. Bullshit. I think you're wiped out at two. Do you mean bullshit? No, you haven't got it in you. You haven't got it in you. You got slightly out of breath from fucking reaching over

for Jade's old fucking Pepsi can when you were trying to dobber in. You haven't got three bangs in an afternoon. You'd be fucking napping. No, in the full 24 hours, though, I could get three in. And the nun would just be like, should we have some quiet time?

I'd be like, oh, oh, Sister Mandy, that sounds fucking great. She's like, I'd take, of course I would. I think she'd be really nice company. She's like, good morning. I prayed for you last night, Daniel. I'd like nice one mandy sister mandy just you just got you're gonna go and pray i think we should quiet yeah definitely that shows your love of our lord and savior jesus christ who you're married to oh no peace and quiet sex addict sex addicts oh banging fifa

banging fifa banging fifa banging FIFA, banging FIFA, banging FIFA, banging FIFA, banging FIFA. Panic attack. The problem is, even a six out of ten, even though new girls, it's exciting,

she's like, wow, she's new, that'd be fine. But after ten bonks, you're like, I'm bored. No no um okay next one choose your quarantine house with adam rowlard uh purple aki or gary neville gary neville i really predicted that the wrong way i thought you'd be anti-Gary Neville there.

I thought you'd take a big sex pest trying to stick his dick in. And anyone who doesn't follow footy won't understand this, but I grew up hating Gary Neville because I was taught to, because he's the most Mancunian Manchester United player of all time. He looks like he crawled out of the sewers of Manchester with an ability to play football to a semi-decent level. And he hates Scousers. And you can tell he does because he was brought up the same way I was, but on the other side of the M62.

The other end of the East Langs, he got the exact same life lessons I did, but about me instead of me getting them about him. And he ran the full length of the pitch that game. It's fucking amazing. They scored at the Anfield Road and he ran towards the cup to wind up 17,000 people.

Amazing. Amazingly eggy. He shags his dad. Gary Neville shags his dad. Shags his dad. Shags his dad. Gary Neville shags his dad. He's earning bread. Do you know his dad. Gary Neville, Shag's his dad. He's earning bread. Do you know

his dad's called Neville? Do you know that? His dad's called Neville Neville. Neville Neville, we know that, yeah. Fantastic. Anyway, it turns out first of all, he's now a pundit for Sky Sports. That's for Neville Neville, RIP. Not Ned.

Neville Neville's dead, mate. No, he isn't. He is. Neville Neville. R.I.P. Not dead. Neville Neville's dead, mate. No, he isn't. He is. He fucking isn't. Neville Neville died. R.I.P. Neville. Watch.

Watch this. Oh, yeah. Oh, right. Nice one. Full apology accepted. Yeah, he died in 2015. Never forget. In Sydney, Australia. What? Well, you know, 2015. Never forget. In Sydney, Australia.

What? No, he'd sit in there every day. Yeah. Good. There you go. I've been getting a lot of things right recently. Last couple of days, I've been really up.

I mean, I know I make some fucking grandad mistakes, but I really feel like, in the grand score of our friendship, I might be down overall, but last few days, I've been doing really well. There's definitely audio on that video. There's fucking not, Adam. There fucking is. Bang. There wasn't. Bang. Nev Nev's dead.

No, he's fucking not. Yes, he is. Yeah! Two points to me. You fucking nonce, okay? You're a fucking nonce. You're a seagull fucking paedophile piece of shit. Oh, no, man. No. No, you don't bring seagulls into it. That's when it goes too far, mate.

Go on, tell us about Gary Neville. The answer's Gary Neville because he's now a pundit for Sky Sports and he's a very good pundit. And it turns out he's quite a good man. He owns a chain of hotels and he's opened them all up for free for the NHS during the coronavirus outbreak.

He's dead sound. He's just a mank twat as well. About a day after Richard... I've been fucking purple-hacky trying to feel my muscles constantly. I'm getting fucking ripped in here, mate. I've been doing me weights and that. I'm going to have guns by the end of this and I can't be living

with a fucking... a little muscle nonce. He'd be constantly looking like, where are they though? Where are they? And then Gary Neville would be like yeah right you remember that time I ran someone out the car fucking right piss you lot off but also what you've got to remember is I feel like I could take Gary Neville

in a fight death though I'd bang him purple hockey I've got no chance Gary Neville would spark you right fucking out mate he's a skinny little mank rat I'd fucking... I'd spark him. Oh, mate.

How much would you love to play FIFA with him, though? Gary Neville and you against... Oh, that'd count. That'd count for a lot. Wouldn't it? That'd make your fucking quarantine go... And I'd beat him.

And I'd knock him out. Shout out to Gary, though. He was actually genuinely quite a good person. Yeah, he is but I'd really love some smashes I think final one

I still love sister Mandy she's my favourite of this whole thing so far hello Derek put your willy away Daniel put your willy away why have you made

all nuns aggressive were you are you catholic yeah did you have sisters at the school no alright ok what have you got against nuns I said, are you Catholic? Yeah. Did you have sisters at the school? No.

All right, okay. What have you got against nuns? I was fucked by a nun when I was a kid and she was really angry. Okay, and that's the end of the podcast today. Adam's just giving me a panic attack. That's the worst thing I've heard. Put your willy away. The father's coming.

The priest's on his way. Put your willy away. He can't be knowing about our shenanigans. Adam! Mr. O! Put your willy away! Yeah can't be knowing about our shenanigans. Adam! Mr. O! Put your willy away! Yeah, but then once it's away, you're fine. You just lock your door.

Get your willy out! Get your willy out! I want to fucking suck it! I want to suck it! I want to fucking suck it! And I want you to suck me! And then stick a flap in my own flap! Come on now!

That's not... That's too much. Who's that, though? Is that the... That was the sex addict. She can be aggressive in Irish as well oh are you yes

really aggressive Irish sex tell me what to do just get your fucking dick raided I swear to god the Irish accent's boss on a woman I love it it has Irish Geordie Glaswegian on a woman I love it it has I fucking love it Adam Iris

Geordie Glaswegian on a woman Glaswegian on a fucking woman oh Ro Adam I think your comedy

is fucking exceptional get your little no no you just sound like fucking Kevin Bridges I don't want to fuck Kevin Bridges this is how

on Glaswegian this is how on Glaswegian fucking women speak speak no it is how all Glaswegian fucking women speak. Speak? No, it's not. Fucking us. By the way, as soon as they hit puberty, this is how

they fucking speak. Fucking 12-year-old girls like, yeah, you're a fucking dickhead. Pee-doo! You sound like a dick in a train station. They do. They are tougher people. Last one. This is where They're a tough for people. Well, last one. This is where I got weird.

I started going weird on this. Would you rather get quarantined? Started going weird. Started. Started. Started. This is where I started going a bit weird. Let's channelise that word.

You started going weird. Fucking people. We've had Purple Hockey versus Gary Neville. We've had the Nympho versus the Nun. We've had the've had the nympho versus the nun

we've had the vegan versus the excessive masturbate hair and it's about to

get weird that's what you're telling me now I feel like it's not weird enough

right last one would you Adam Rowe rather be quarantined in your house with

the ghost of Steve Irwin or the ghost of King Irwin or the ghost of King Henry VIII? I've literally lost my mind. I'm having such a good day, but I think I've gone mental.

I'm not answering. I don't know. Because it doesn't matter. Oh, as soon as you say it doesn't matter, the whole podcast falls on its fucking face mate literally that of all the things you can possibly say like we talked about

your mum's fucking foot falling off yesterday we've done would you that one was a strong gin and tonic that one hit your foot up ma falling off not being amputated

it fell off what happened to your leg Anne it fell those blue wickets are doing me no fucking good I'd rather be with Steve Irwin because then he can teach me about animals I fucking love

crocodile. But not stingrays. They can't. Adam. Adam. Make us a cup of tea. Oh, the ghosts

drink tea. No, they don't, do they? Oh, God, it's just got silly. It's just got pointless now, hasn't it? I tell you what, honestly, I want to put a moratorium on if anyone ever answers a question with, it doesn't matter, this podcast stops working. It's almost like... Yeah, good point.

You know what? Fair play. It's almost like someone goes to fucking like the WWE and goes guys this isn't even really

oh fuck off suspend disbelief you boring shit wow that was as ridiculous as I thought it would be

but ultimately it doesn't matter. I'll tell you something that does matter. Vauxhall Comedy Club. Now then, everyone, let's have a quick word about Vauxhall Comedy Club in that there London town. Now, obviously, there is a fucking pandemic going on. No one's going comedy for a while. But as soon as they are, if you live anywhere near London,

if you're down visiting in London and you fancy some stand up some of the best comics in the world will be playing Vauxhall Comedy Club which is surprise to fucking

prize in Vauxhall so basically they've helped the podcast out massively by sponsoring it in our time of need and when we're out of the fucking bunker

when we do our first live tour of this podcast the Have A Word Show for London will be at the Vauxhall Comedy Club if you're down there and you fancy seeing some stand up will be at the Vauxhall Comedy Club if you're down there and you fancy seeing

some stand up after the apocalypse give Vauxhall Comedy Club a try in the meantime give them a follow on Instagram at Vauxhall Comedy Club

on Twitter at Vauxhall Comedy and on Facebook they're just Vauxhall Comedy Club join the mailing list so they can tell you when they're reopening

and what they're doing it's Vauxhall Comedy Club dot com Adam's already played this room I'm really looking forward to playing it they do a bottomless booze ticket list so they can tell you when they're reopening and what they're doing it's voxel comedy club.com adam's already played this room i'm really looking forward to playing it they do a bottomless booze ticket on a friday and saturday night you get 90 minutes of stand-up excellent tv comedians up-and-coming talent and also bottomless beer and wine there's a spirit and mixer ticket for 35 quid there's just entry for 10 be a good egg give them a little follow and we'll see you there after all this

shit has blown over voxel comedy club that's it you are listening to the funniest podcast in the game it's have a word with adam rowe and dan nightingale oh adam let's all have a word this matters though doesn't it this is where shit gets real the first 40 odd minutes are bullshit but this is where it gets fucking this is where it does matter this is the bit where we do a thank you i'd just like to thank you dan for carrying today's episode because i have been in a fucking mood lad and i only really realized it when you asked me would would you rather? And I said, it doesn't matter. I was like, oh, you ain't in the zone for this, Ad. That's all right, mate. You're having to buy shopping for old people who aren't, well,

your best mate's disabled mum. Like, I realise, as you were saying that, I went to do shopping for people in need, and I couldn't do it because there's all these people in queues. And I know you've got time anxiety anxiety and I know you've got self anxiety and I didn't even know you'd had a panic attack so I was like, part of being a partnership and mates as well

is me going, okay, cool I'll be the bell end on this one and that's absolutely fine because it comes quite naturally to me So, should we have a word and wrap this fucking thing up We've still done loads though it's not like

I thought oh Adam doesn't sound good today maybe we'll just knock out a 45 no it's going to be it's going to be massive so oh god this is how lazy I've been as well

this have a word came in this morning I just went to the email and got the first fucking one no it's alright as long as you get to it Well, this have a word came in this morning. I just went to the email and got the first fucking one. No, it's all right. As long as you get to it. What's happening, boys?

Love what yous are doing with the podcast, right? But get on this. I need you to have a word with me, missus. It's not a big thing, right? But it winds me up to bits. Every day I get up earlier than me bed for work. I get up at six. She gets up at half seven. Because of this, I go to bed earlier

every night. The fucking fume comes because she never makes the bed. So every time I go to bed, I have to make it before I get in and it winds me up to death. He said winds me up to bits and to death. They're just grammatically incoherent sentences. This guy's

wound up. In my opinion, she and to death. They're just grammatically incoherent sentences. This guy's wound up. Wound him up to death. In my opinion, she should be making the bed when she gets up. I don't think it's too much to ask, but when I say something, she says, yeah, all right, I will, but obviously never does. Surely you two agree with me here. I just want to go upstairs and get in bed. Have a word, boys. Nice one.

Her name's Sarah, by the way. She needs shaming into making the bed, as trivial as it sounds. Nice one again. Probably won't hear this for the week, because I'm rationing episodes, but it's hard in advance, Mike. I need my head to give it through. So, Sarah or Mike,

who's the dickhead here? The thing is, I want to completely agree with Mike, except I think a lot of people will have just heard the problem in what he said. He's like, I want her to make the bed for when I get in it and then fuck up the bed. Like, it would make more sense if Mike was like,

I get up first, then she should make the bed, because every time I go in the bedroom in the day, it's just a fucking mess and the sheets are all over the shop. It looks horrible. I love the tidy bed for that. Once you're getting in the bed, what do you need it neat for when you get in it and fuck it up? I don't get that bit.

Yeah, that's what I'm thinking. Also, I've had a very similar argument with Jade for a long time. Isn't that a surprise? But I'm the Sarah. I don't think it fucking matters. What are you making your bed for? What's the point? It doesn't need to be made.

As soon as you get back in it, it's messy again. It's just part of a tidy room, isn't it? It's the easiest... I get it. A full tidy of a bedroom can be a bit of a ball ache if you've let it get in a state, but you just literally flop out the duvet, flick it out and it's just straight and it looks nice. Yeah.

But what, what for? Cause I just like a tie. I like a tidy house. I'm tidy. So that's part of, that's one of the least annoying. I tell you what is a fucking nightmare job that Laura steadfastly refuses to do when you wash the sheets and have to put the sheets back on the fucking duvet.

What a fucking ball ache that job is. You know what I think is probably the worst other than like finding out her relatives died. I reckon the most your heart sinks in your life. Like finding out your close relatives died,

you know that feeling you get where your heart just drops for a second, you need a couple of seconds to take everything in and you're like, I don't know how I'm going to get through this. I know exactly what you mean. The closest thing you get to that is when you come home from a day out

and you've realised you've stripped the bed and forgot to put the stuff back on. Do you know when you've just got a bare mattress and a bare quilt and your pillows have got no cases on and it's all dry, it's in the dryer

and it's all done, it's sorted, but you're fucking knackered, aren't you? And you don't want to be making a fucking bed at two o'clock in the morning after a drive back from a shit gig in fucking Ashby de la Zooch. You can't be fucking arsed, can you?

It's the worst feeling in the world. Awful feeling. And we've all been that lad who's like, Relatives, I would rather lose than find the bed unmade like that. I remember being a single lad, like, you know, in flat shares and everything. And you'd be like, eventually,

because if I don't want to get a girl back and her be like, mate, that smells looking at it. I don't want to ever have that. So I did, I tried to wash my bed in. I was such a lazy shit. I'd wash it and then literally just sleep on the naked mattress with no duvet cover for like two nights

of like ah this feels awful i've made myself into a rems oh yeah oh there's a little divots how how good a pillow case is because a pillow without a case is like oh you're awful get off my face oh my sensitive face you put one little shitty sheet of beautiful love a good pillow do you have like just bog standard like two for the ten of pillows or have you got like a good pillow come on mate come on look at me 39 i've gotten not a lot of savings in their bank and it's because daddy treats himself right i i worked out about 10 years ago that good bedding will shange your life it up until then i was doing the same thing as every fuck i was like i got these at uni i just went to fucking argos and it was the cheapest ones we went around to home and bargains

there you go there's a me building a bridge i got the cheapest you can get in awful awful and then i think it was like around my 30th my stepmom was like what do you want for christmas and i was earning decent money from comedy i was like fuck i've got i buy everything i need and i think it'd been that week i'd been like god this fucking duvet's crap i was like i want bedding i want good bedding i want a really nice duvet and and I want really nice sheets, and she went to TK Maxx, which is sneaky good for this sort of shit, as it's like nicer stuff, and it's slightly cheaper, and I've never had a crap duvet or crap covers since, fucking quality, not even the most expensive, just now, if you're like, oh no, I'm not asked about that stuff, fucking do, mate, you know when

you get in a hotel, you're like, oh, this is fit. That's every night if you've spent a little bit extra on fucking bedding. Oh, it's so nice. I spent 90 quid on a pillow in January. It's a Dunlop pillow. That's different fucking class, that. What's that doing for you? Oh, mate, it's fucking unreal.

You know, it's so heavy. Like, I sleep with me right arm under my pillow right and my head lying on the bit of the pillow that my right arm's under that's how i sleep yeah yeah yeah it doesn't lose shape at all oh it's phenomenal you're like a heavy pillow oh it's fucking quality um do you know sometimes when we talk about stuff, I'm aware that it's not funny in any way, but I genuinely give a shit about this. I really do like quality bedding. I don't give a fuck. I don't give a fuck.

And a mattress protector. Have you tried a mattress protector? They're only like 25... I don't like them. 25 quid off Amazon. Ooh. And also... I don't like them.

I like me mattress. My mattress is fucking great right so what are we talking about oh yeah Mike and Sarah just make the fucking bed just be house proud

sort your shit out no Sarah if you what else isn't she tidying there must be grub I don't know come on

but he only wants it made for when he gets into bed. Sister Mandy makes her bed, I tell you that. Oh, Jesus is watching. I'll make the bed. And I'll make Adam's bed in the quarantine. We're all going through this together now. And he's buying food for his mum's, his friend's disabled mum. He's a good lad.

I'll make that for when he gets back. And all these jizz stains, Jesus will judge him eventually for these. But this isn't my problem Sister Mandy understands. I think Sarah, if you are a busy person, don't worry about it but if Mike's writing into us then it's

doing his fucking head in the net so if you want to stay with him after the after the shutdown then just make your fucking bed you dirty bitch You are getting so much more understanding recently and I'm just to play devil's advocate I'm going to say Sarah

upset me nasty bitch I'm tired of the fucking room I think you missed me calling her a dirty bitch did you call her a dirty bitch mate if you're going to call someone a dirty bitch mate if you're gonna go and talk to someone a dirty bitch you've got to change the tone of your voice because that was really off-putting

you were like i just think i just think you know obviously difficult and everyone's got busy lives but sort your fucking life out you wanker that doesn't work you've got to you've got to do the right tone for the words oh that's really nice why don't i just end you with this knife oh if i'm gonna get murdered i don't want to end you with this knife? Oh. If I'm going to get murdered, I don't want to be someone, excuse me, could you come over here, please? I'd like to shoot you in the face.

I just think, I want, pow. Don't know what I'm on about. Don't know if I've upset myself. Oh, my God. So, I would say let's call this a podcast.

Let's do it. Let's do it. Let's wrap. Call it a breakdown. Let's call it a breakdown um cool adam you're gonna get through this you've had a bad night listen to me i gotta get through this i'm gonna get through this i'm gonna get through this right good let's call it a pod I'm going to get through this. I'm going to get through this. Right, good.

Let's call it a pod. See you tomorrow. Have some sleep. You'll be all right. We need a song, lad, don't we? We've got one for you. A band from Liverpool. Oh, mate.

Before we talk about Hegarty, fucking Keys, the artist from yesterday. What a chisels that was oh man brilliant brilliant more hip-hop please not that the bands aren't great but i'm all down for arkansas artists i'm from plim michigan plim fuck arkansas um this band from liverpool is Plim, Michigan. Plim, Firk, Arkansas. This band from Liverpool is called Hegarty. Their song is called I Only Dream. They've got a Facebook page, which is just the name Hegarty.

H-E-G-A-R-T-Y. Their Twitter is Hegarty Official and Instagram is WeAreHegarty. Go check them out. This is Hegarty with I Only Dream. I'll be back and in a much better mood tomorrow. I'll see you then. See you later. Bye, Felicia.

Bye, Felicia. I see the sunset On the horizon It's not surprising that I'm all alone cause everyone I held I held so dearly abandoned me clearly

now I stand alone And I get so lost For words Sometimes I feel I couldn't help myself Even if I can't I only dream In black and white

But it's alright It's alright I only dream In black and white But it's alright, it's alright And I see the moonlight Shines over the water, But I see that distance,

Look in your eyes, These are just memories, Memories are dreams, Dreams are just creatures, stored in my mind. I get so lost for words, sometimes I'm lonely. I couldn't help myself, even if I can't. Now you're a dream in black and white. But it's all right, it's all right.

Now you're a dream in black and white But it's alright, it's alright You're okay to see the sunrise You're scared to state Intensed all night Sometimes you have to be Submerged by darkness To be able to Appreciate the light

Ah Ah Ah Ah Ah Ah Ah Ah

Ah Ah Ah Ah Ah Ah Ah Ah

Ah Ah Ah Ah Ah Ah Ah Ah

Ah Ah Ah Ah Ah Ah Ah Ah

Ah Ah Ah Ah Ah Ah Ah Ah

Ah Ah Ah Ah Ah Ah Ah Ah Ah Ah Ah Ah Ah Ah Ah Ah Ah Ah Ah Ah I know you're dreaming In black and white But it's alright

It's alright Thank you.