Hello From The Magic Tavern - Season 2, Ep 80 - Momo and the Mayor (Live from Chicago's iO Theater)

Episode Date: October 8, 2018

Momo the Mouse with Human Strength stops by to dish on Chunt’s love life and her own. CreditsArnie: Arnie NiekampChunt: Adal RifaiUsidore: Matt YoungMomo the Mouse: Erin KeifMysterious Man: Tim SniffenCraig: Ryan DiGiorgiTricia: Kate JamesTechnical Difficulties Witch: Shama JacoverProducers: Arnie Niekamp, Ryan DiGiorgi, Evan JacoverEditor: Tim JoyceTheme Music: Andy PolandMagic Tavern Logo: Allard LabanAudio Assistance: Jason KnoxProduction Assistance: Garrett SchultzPhotography by: Arne ParrottSpecial Thanks: Steve Ahlman for audio assistance and the organizers and staff of iO's Bentwood festival.You can support the show directly and receive bonus episodes and rewards by joining our Patreon at https://www.patreon.com/magictavern for only $5 per month. Follow us on Twitter and Instagram, and now Patreon!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Hey Craig, have you noticed that red light flashing? Hmm, oh yeah yeah there was a bunch of those yesterday but I figured out what to do. Oh, okay that's relief. Yeah, you unscrew the light bulb and then it stops. Do you think they mean something? Sure they mean we have a bunch of extra red light bulbs now, we're all set for the holidays. You know I'm starting to realize I can print and also tell people about this week's show recorded live at Chicago's IOT Theater as part of the Bentwood Comedy Festival.

If you wanna catch a future live episode, tickets for Get Nuts at the Kalamazoo Improv Festival are on sale now. Before you could only buy a festival wide pass, but now you can buy a ticket specifically for Get Nuts. If you're not ready, you know, to experience more culture at this time, which is a totally valid emotional response. There's also a big live Magic Tavern winter solstice show in Chicago in November.

For info on all of this, go to hellofromthemagictavern.com and click the Live Shows tab. Wait, did you say today's episode is a live show? Uh-huh, that's right. Oh no. click the live shows tab. Wait, did you say today's episode is a live show? Uh-huh, that's right. Oh no. Hahahaha! Remember me? The technical difficulties with?

I smell a live show. So I'm back. You know, in some cultures, witches are celebrated powerful women. Yeah, we're not one of those cultures. I curse this episode to have very minor technical difficulties. There will be a couple instances of static on the guest's mic. Nothing that keeps you from understanding what they're saying. But it will be a little bit distracting. And will happen a small handful of times

Mmm, but mostly it's fine and eventually she gets a different mic, but still technical difficulties We still don't know what the deal is with this technical difficulties, do we? I have a rich backstory that only I know the details of! I mean, we have to leave something for the Blu-ray extras it can all be more usador names. And now, enjoy the show. Hello from the Magitavern! A weekly podcast from the magical land of food. I'm your host Arnie Neekham. Look, I think it's a safe assumption.

None of you have ever heard this podcast before. So don't worry, I'm gonna do a deep in depth explanation of everything you need to know. About three plus years ago, don't ask me to go more specific on that. I fell through a dimensional portal behind a Burger King in Chicago. If you're familiar with Chicago, it's a Burger King. It's a little bit north of where the old I.O. was.

Just a random detail. I'm throwing out there. And I fell through that dimensional portal into the magical, fantastical land of fune. Luckily, I'm still getting a Wi-Fi signal from that Burger King through the dimensional rift. And I used that to upload a podcast I record every week here in the tavern, the Vermilion Minotaur, where we all are right now. In the town of Hogsface, in the land of Foon.

And I'm so excited, it's like a pretty hop-in night in the land of fune and I'm so excited it's like it's a pretty hop-in night in the tavern people seem excited to be here you know people seem to be cozying up a little closer to the table than usual. It's all right This is like I have a cozy night at the Vermilion Minotaur. And you know what, there are few adorable creatures that I would want to get more cozy with. Then my co-host, my good bud, the terrible sheriff of Hawks' face.

LAUGHTER King of the Badgees, turn the talking Badger. Oh, yeah, baby. Oh, I feel like a little vampire there. A little vampire? Yeah, really vamping it up. How are you doing, big guy? I'm doing pretty good. Like, how do I want to get a terrible share of?

You know what? You are good at so many things. Like, oh, good at being a badger. You know, so good at talking. Like better at talking than most badgers are. Thank you. Not great at being king of the badgers as I remember it. Okay. So good badger not being great king of the badger.

Yeah. Okay. Yeah, I think you're just like a great guy looking for his vocation. Oh, Grashill. Hey. That's sweet. Thank you so much. Yeah, how are you doing, bud?

I'm doing great. Tussle d'Or and I are more serious than ever. Oh, yeah. So things are... Yeah, yeah. So things are... Yeah, yeah. Thank you, thank you. Things are pretty hot and heavy. Yes, mattering of enthusiasm.

Yeah, that will lead you out. Yeah. Yeah. For people in the town or in the haven't been around lately, Tussitor is your, I guess I would say significant other, whose thinks he's a wizard? He's a wizard. So it's a full on wizard. Yeah, it's a wizard.

What, and for people who don't know, Sarah is like, oh, I go, I go like a wife like a like a wife Sue I mean wife She's a wife second Careful In case she's listening Well Sarah if you're listening please please email me at Magic Tavern at the same time. Oh, shit.

Why? I think that's the first time you've ever done that. Why didn't we think about that? Sarah, Sarah, if you're listening email us at Magic Tavern, what is it? Magic Tavern. Magic Tavern. And puppies, that's a blind story.

So, real email address. You know, that's a common, that's a common, that's a common, that's a common, that's a common, that's a common, that's a common, that's a common, that's a common, that's a common, that's a common, that's a common, that's a common, that's a common, that's a common, that's a common, that's a common, that's a common, that's a common, that's a common, that's a common, that's a common, that's a common, that's a common, that's a common, that's a common, that's a common, that's a common, that's a common, on the chat with six teas. Yes. If you're not Sarah, email us at chontwithsixtheesatgmail.com. All right. Also, if anybody in the tabern wants to email chontatgmail.com

with six teas, you can do so and ask questions. Obviously nobody in the tabern has a phone, but could you imagine? Yeah. Could you imagine? Also, I wanted to, you know, I feel like because I'm so happy right now with Tussador, and I have so much, and you have so very little.

But I thought today of all days, to crown you, King of the Arneys. This is just an excuse to rub that... Oh, and it was a hold receptor. Oh, okay. Congratulations. Thank you. You seem not thrilled. Gotta say, doesn't feel great.

Because of having to lord over all those Arnees? Or will, you know, there aren't that many Arnees. And, you know, I don't need to lord over myself because I don't need a boss. But mostly, I suspect you wanted to get rid of this crown and center. You were like between my beer and my microphone, I only got so many badgy fingers. I'm the badger guy to love me. Well, speaking of people who are carrying way too many things at all times, I am very excited to also be joined.

This time I'm very, I'm last time I was sure John that you were gonna, I'm sure you were on that side of the bar. I was wrong. So I'm gonna guess window? Yes. I feel like there's a good chance Yusador is gonna just climb through one of those windows. And I put all my money on it.

Yeah, and look, I'm in no way vamping for time in case he wants to do that. You're being a little vampire too. I am, I'm being a little vampire. But anyway, my co-host, co-mayor of Hogsface, Usador the Wizard. Hey! Oh!

Oh! This is a tough girl, she's a little bit easier. Master of Light and Shadow, manipulator of magical delights, devourer of chaos, champion of the great holes of Turokus, the elves, Nomi, is fying,

Yelik, good, shut up, the dwarves know me as zoning in who sang Jesus and I am, and I am known in the northeast as Gaston Winnius May star, oh and there may be secret names, so fuck did you just say? name so dangerous if I dare dare to utter them aloud most assuredly all of the teeth and everyone's head in this tavern would jump out of their mouths and run away and form a band and this band of teeth would tour all through Foon, singing songs of destruction and fear, warning all that if yet another secret name of Yusodora's spake, all shall die.

So Yusodora, we were thinking maybe you're gonna come through a window, but you whoa So you drop my phone. Sorry I'll get you another one. How hard are phones to come by? I mean, on Earth they're expensive, but not that hard to come by. Then I'll get you another one. You said we were expecting you to come through a window, but you came through that curtain, which I'd never noticed was in the tavern before.

That's right. Is that where we keep the adult puriocles? Find the curtain? No, I... It was purely logistical. There was no way in hell I was getting through that window. Do you know what? Do you know what? Do you know what? Do you know what? Do you know what? Do you know what? Do you know what? Do you know what?

Do you know what? Do you know what? Do you know what? Do you know what? Do you know what? Do you know what? Do you know what? Do you know what?

Do you know what? Do you know what? Do you know what? Do you know what? Do you know what? Do you know what? Do you know what? Do you know what?

Do you know what? Do you know what? Do you know think you're a great wizard. And you know what? With all the power invested in me as King of the Arneys. Oh, my Lee's. I would. I'd deem you. King of the Wizards. He's he's gonna sink through the floor. It's it's finally happening Now all wizard shall kneel before you stood off and the kingdom of wizard shall rise Yay and all the realms of Ephesians shall be united, and we shall use our great power to drive evil out of this world once and for all. So I, so to speak, so shall be,

what is I swear, I'm King of the Wizards? Arning, Arning, did you notice you some words got this weird clipped cadence? Yeah. Listen, my people. If you do want to live in the kingdom of Wizards, trust in Yusunor, and he shall lead you down the correct path. I think the crown very tightly on his wizard hat

is restricting blood to his brain, maybe? And if any others do wish to join the Kingdom of Wizards, though, they not to be wizards, like Tussador. They shall be welcomed. This, I swear. So it is slow. So shall be. So it says Tussador.

I think I hate this. He losses ability to enunciate. Oh, it's so fun to be a king. Yeah. I'm having a great time. Oh, you said art. Before now, I guess I didn't know do the wizards have any kind of formal pecking order? Oh, no. You see, a wizard is not meant to be a royal person.

For we are not the person at all, but rather angel-like beings bound to an earthly form, bound to a foolish form. Do the birds have a pecking order? The birds do have a pecking order. They start on the ground. And then sometimes at the base of a tree. And then if they're walking towards a hill, oh, peck up the hill!

I saw a little bird, uh, make some red potion one time. Just kept coming back for more. Funny thing I've ever seen. Just, yeah. I saw it just, yep, yep, yep, yep. It was amazing. I love that bird. I wanted to ask you, speaking of you stories, voice changing, I feel like on the way to

the tavern this morning, I was thinking, you've never really told us about like teenage Arnie. Like, we don't know about when you went through puberty, like your teenage years, you're very coy about it. Like I was thinking the same thing. Yeah. What about teenage Arnie? What?

Guys, save it for the spin-off. Well, I don't know, teenage Arnie, I was a lot, like I am now, that tall. Well, I was very tall and very thin, just like incredibly thin. My voice was, you know, I was going through a lot of changes, so my voice was kind of all over the place. In a way that since then, it's really stabilized

and always just stays at one register. Were you a bit of a bad boy? Well, once I stayed out a little too late watching, it's a wonderful life at my friend's house. And... You said that's a movie about an angel committing suicide? It is. Mm-hmm.

Dark. And so I did have my bedtime changed to be a little bit earlier. Nice. I know. Damn, Arnie. I have no idea. Yeah, you know, that was pretty cool.

That was pretty cool. But what about, you know, we haven't talked much about what teenage chant was like. What were you like as a teenager? I was picked on a lot just because every week I was like the new kid at school because I was a new creature. So people just read me like the new kid a lot.

You never, like your cred would never roll over into your new form. Never roll over. Yeah. Like, you could be, like, you work your way up to being like the coolest walrus at school and as soon as you turn into something that's a lot. That's not much more on my friend.

That's fair. You know, but I'd be a different creature here and there and I got the nickname chump change. No. It's just, yeah, real rude. Could we like reclaim that? Would that be make you feel better if we like, in a good way, started calling it chump change?

Chump change! I should also point out, you were getting late. That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying. I didn't think I had to point it out, but I guess it... Well, look, getting laid is great, but it's a wonderful life, it's a modern class! Well, wait, didn't the movie, it's a wonderful life, what's in that where you proposed to your wife, Sarah? Wasn't that the night you proposed to Sarah, what's that, it's a wonderful life?

No, that was much later, In my world, you can't... That's your first date. No, something. Yeah, no, I did propose to my wife after a much later viewing of its wonderful life. That's what I said. Now that I think about it... Yes, yes. That's exactly what Chant said.

Now that I think about it, it's a wonderful life has played a key role in many parts of my life. Real quick, that's what I said. Yeah. I said, you proposed your wife after a showing of its a wonderful life. Yeah. And then you fought me on it. That's right. And then you said the same thing I said.

I did. Bullshit. I did propose to my wife after a showing of its a wonderful life and I've never said otherwise. What are some other like like real naughty earth movies? Some like real naughty earth movies? Yeah. Well, there's maybe an article now. There's a movie called The Secret of My Success,

where a woman goes underwater and takes her top off and for a couple of seconds, you can see some of the stuff that's going on. What sort of stuff? As I remember, like, blurry nipples. Is that the kind of details that you have? We like blipples. We're the nipples at the end of breasts.

I don't know what kind of creature this one was. It was an underwater shot, so it's hard to be 100% certain. What was Teenage Yousador like? Well, I was never a teenager. For, of course, I was born of a conspiracy of birds and raindrops. What would you have been like if you were okay? Oh, and there wasn't like a period where through a magical set of incidences and mistakes

you were magically turned into a teenager for a while? Well, obviously that happened. What? Deats, what were you like? Well, I didn't have a beard. Whoa. What? Wait, either beard? I have course do not know what you mean.

So you didn't have a beard? Were you a bit of a bit of a boy? I was, I know I was rather bookish actually. I was, uh, devoted to my studies. It happened while I was at the holes of Sriracha, of course. Learning more, wizarding skill and prowess. I focusing the energies already born into me as a wizard born. I, and therefore, but a week and a half, I did find myself turning into, but a small

teenage boy awkward with my voice. And I saw it was difficult for me to get through my whole name. I'm Yosunor, wizard of the 12th realm of the fizzies. Master of light, Shadow, Da-Harv, Chaos, what's the rest of it? Manipulator of magical delights. The power of dead-ass. The power of dead-ass. Oh, you know that's right. Yes. Our dance. Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

You know that's right. Now, I found myself, yes, for these two weeks, time, transferred form it into a teenage boy, obsessed with games I became, and wanted to do not, but teabag, those around me. Oh! What's this now? I would teabag anyone who I defeated in a game.

Like a noob? Like, yes, someone who was Arnold, someone who was new, sometimes is called a noob to embarrass them. Oh, yeah, and if a prince is playing a game and they own you, they pwn you. Oh. Exactly, exactly. And of course, after this fortnight went by, I spent a lot of time.

Mmm, fortnight! Fortnight! Fortnight! Oh, it feels so good to be so young and hip and know all the cool references. Guys, we should really tap. Sorry, the sun got my eyes. It was just a dab of sun got into his eyes. Great, Chuck. We were good at being so youthful.

Do you think we would have been friends as teenagers? If we all knew each other? Oh, absolutely. Of course. I like to think so. Oh, I don't know. Maybe it would have been like a breakfast club situation. What's that? It's a breakfast club situation.

Why don't we meet for breakfast every once in a while? And we'd be really good friends at breakfast, but then, and we'd share deepest, darkest secrets. Maybe we'd dance a little bit. Talk about how we accidentally tape someone's butt cheek shut. And then afterwards, we would call our separate ways. Would I forget about you? Don't, don't,, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no the young cool hip-yong references. Oh, Arnie, did you ever, you said a lot of hip-cool teens will get tattoos?

Did you ever get a tattoo? Do you have tattoos? Oh, well, I did occasionally get a tattoo that you could put on your skin, dab on water, and you know, would be like the tricks rabbit or... Who's the rabbit who never got to eat and then died? No, he that's a rabbit. You said it was so sad They kept stealing food from him and he died. No, no the tricks rabbit was desperate for a special kind of cereal So that he couldn't ever get so he had to turn tricks in order to get money

Why did he need that particular cereal? That's a good question. It's a shitty cereal, too. He could eat anything. Serial isn't even really full. Rabbits, I could have had some vegetables or some lettuce. That's what... That's what rabbits eat. It's true. Also, Rickwick, thank you for correcting me on what you told me about the tricks.

Oh, yeah. So he didn't die. He turned tricks. Thank you. Oh, yeah, absolutely. You're welcome. I'm sorry, you were wrong. I was confused.

That's a simple mind again and again. So you had a tattoo, but you took it off? Yeah. So there's magic on earth. Tattoo's never come off. Do either of you have tattoos? At some point, I had lava and hate across my knuckles, but it changed.

Oh, I really did, it's not a joke. I've never had anything I've cared about enough to get a tattoo. What would you, do you have anything now? I eat care about? What about the three of us? Let's get tattoos! Ooh! What about the tattoos?

What about the tattoos? Ooh! What about the tattoos? What about the tattoos? What about the tattoos? What about the tattoos? What about the tattoos? What about the tattoos? What about the tattoos? What about the tattoos? What about the tattoos? What about the tattoos? What about the tattoos? You said, or hear me out, what if you got a tattoo of a little boy peeing on the dark

lore? Ooh! What a devilish sentiment this is. To have such an innocent young man, you're an 18 directly on my greatest enemy. What's up? It's the most sophisticated thing I could think of to get tattooed on my body. I'll do it. And in the next live show, I won't show it.

What live show? What am I talking about? Oh, we started to say that anytime we're doing the podcast in the bar, we'd call it a live show. So you guys are here. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. And Chuck, maybe you should consider like, I don't know if you've ever been cuttly little bears before, but you could be a couple dancing bears holding hands, and you could just have it say,

keep on fucking. LAUGHTER You look so pleased with this. Oh, oh, Arnold. What if I got to face somewhere on my body? Will that be okay? Look, I've said no John. No, no, attach tattoo of your face.

Oh! Ooh. What if you got a tattoo of that scene from the caucctic list pay? Will you all make love in the shower together? Ooh, where I'm like a squid? Was that what I was? Yes, I'd try to work that.

No, that's what it was for sure. I mean, you could get a tattoo of my face just on your chest, and maybe would say like, I don't want to talk about earth stuff. I'll get that if you get one of me, this is Get Whit. Right above in a, in a, food, the popular place to get is right above your genitals Well, you know what guys? I feel terrible like we've been just enjoying talking to ourselves But I feel like I you know we should bring out our guests Yes, I agree. Yes, I agree. I thought it talked to our guest one of our one of our best friends in all of hogs face one of my favorite

One of my favorites one of chun Hogs face. One of my favorites. One of my favorites. One of Chunch favorites, definitely in my top 10. Why don't you just go along with what I'm saying? I don't know. There's just for some reason. I always have to agree with you. I feel like I'm bump-setting you, and then you jump up, grab the ball, and go, this is a ball. That's what it feels like.

Yes, yes, it does. Fushal. Absolutely. I'm going to own up to the fact that I don't always receive the gifts the way I should. If you can own up to the fact that they're not always bump sets, really. I mean, I literally gave you a crown and a scepter and you passed it off pretty quick. And I declare. Asking over the way, it is now the time when I'll guess to join us on stage.

He's gone. He's gone for Gary Oldman. Who's Gary Oldman in food? You know, he's Gary and he's old. Oh, man. Well, I'm so excited to be joined by one of our good buds, Momo the Mouse. I'm so excited to be joined by one of our good buds, Momo the mouse.

Hi, I'm Momo. Oh, look, look, she's trying to lift that microphone. She, oh, it's so big for her, but she's a mouse with human strength, yeah? Hi, Momo. How you doing? Good. See, Chant, all the time, because I still live in two stores hat.

Oh, that's right. What's a like living in two stores hat? Yeah, I live in two stores hat. Well, Chant's like always around. You know when your roommate just starts seeing someone new, and they're just's hat? Yeah. Intucinor's hat. Well, chun's like always around. Do you know when your roommate just starts seeing someone new and they're just always around? Yeah. Chun's just like eating my food and hanging out.

But it's been fun. Oh, Momo, dish. What? No. Oh, no. I don't want to talk about it. No, our chun and Tucinor alike. Oh, so gross. Oh, like. Oh, so gross.

Oh, oh, oh, so gross. Whatever you're picturing, it's so much grosser. Oh, I actively try not to picture it. Tusset or is made of bees? Oh, yeah, he's all bees down there. He's all bees down there. And... Some people have just wandered in the tavern.

And they're like, I'm just gonna roll with what's going on. His name is Tussador, he thinks he's a wizard and is crotch or bees. As king of the wizards, I believe only I can say who is a wizard and who is an old? And I declare Tussador is not the true wizard. I'm so sorry. Why are we celebrating that? That's the love of my life. No, to Sador is wonderful.

I've become very good friends with him, but he isn't just the wizard. You can't be with Janelivia just because you're not looking for Sarah. Doesn't mean I shouldn't be happy. I should be happy. I should be happy. I should be happy for me. OK, I am. Are you in Tuesday door exclusive?

Yeah, well, you's married. But yeah. Listen, here's a wife in Madeline, but we're a thruple. It's true. Why is married? And in your defense, we forgot about that for a while. Be happy for me. I don't mean to be harsh, it's just, you guys shoot all over to him.

No, I'm very happy for you. I simply don't really leave the Tussardos a wizard though he claims he is such. He could be a sorcerer or a mage or a necromancer or any of those sorts of things. How do you have a dick of bees and not be a wizard? That's your science. It's a timeless question.

Wait a second, that's my tattoo. The bees? How do you have a dick of bees and not be a wizard? And then underneath it's just gonna be a lot of blinks. In case people have answers. Hey real quick, in food that's a verbal contract. You speak, if you ever start a sentence, that's the tattoo I'm gonna get,

and then you say what you're gonna get, that's a verbal contract. If you don't get it, you'll die. No, no, no, no, no, you don't understand. I've had a couple drinks. Oh, they never mind. Momo, do you have any tattoos? Well, Momo will start that sentence a lot.

So I have a full back with anyone who's ever had a crush on me. What are some of those names on your back? Arnie, Chant, Yusidor, and then Mayor Manana. Oh, can I tell you a rumor I heard? I heard that you and Mayor Manana were dancing in the moonlight. Oh, yeah, we were dancing in the moonlight. He's so cute. They're both so cute together. They're so tiny.

Oh, I just want to dress them up in different outfits. Oh, I just want to put them on my metal piece and in case I'm an amber. Guys, I think we can't be happy for other people. I think that's something we have to address full on. All right. Okay. Okay. Anytime someone has happiness, we shit all over them. Hmm. What, is that trace back to our teenage selves? What's going on? Maybe.

I mean, I feel like I grew up as a teenager. I thought that it is a wonderful life. But maybe I learned a lot of hard knock lessons in that movie about how life isn't as easy. I thought I was going somewhere with this. Nobody else did. Mama, what's going on with you and Mayor Manana? I'm happy for you. Well, thank you.

Do you have a status? Yeah, I'm the first lady of Hogsface now. And a lot of responsibility. I say, I say paintings from fires. I write letters to Mayor Manana, be like, remember the mises. And I just do all sorts of things. So if a painting is caught in a fire,

is the only person that can save it the first time? Yeah, that's the law. Because Dolly Madison did it once in a while. The fire is the only person that can save it the first time? Yeah, that's the law. Because Dolly Madison did it once, and now we all have to do it. I'm a bit worried that there's a conflict of interest here, for I am of course, King of the Wizards. But I'm also this week's mayor. And of course, mayor Manana is always as his tiny little mayor sash, but I am holding the office this week. So you're King Mayor. That's too much power. Yes, what

other power could I am mass? For once all the power is usadors, I shall rise up, and I shall attack my foes and defeat them all, finally and completely. I, and as I watch the dark Lord burn and the void dissipate into nothingness, I shall eat their bones. That crown looks so cute on your hat. Oh, thank you. Thank you so much. I am enjoying wearing it.

It's a good look for me, I think. Really brings out the blue. Oh, yes. I even think about that. Because the complementary color to blue is, of course, orange. Orange? Orange. And perhaps I should work some orange into my robes and my outfit. I do like orange, which is, it's just orange but old timey.

When I grow up, orange was a totally different color. Arnie, did you want to come up with some new catchphrases Oh I mean I got some pretty good ones. Yeah like what's next and my most popular one if you've never heard the podcast before this is everything you need to know about three and a half years ago. Like shorter, but like shorter, more succinct, more succinct catchphrases. Oh, well, I'm open to suggestions for new catchphrases. Can we call you R&Dog? No.

A-Train? Mm, less. Cappanani. I could be okay with Captain Arnie. Wait, it's definitely C-A-P apostrophe N. You are not a captain. You hold no rank or office. Other than Maya,

one, once every five weeks. I don't know. When you say it is Captain, it almost sounds like a verb. What about your name have a question mark. Are you? Are you? Holy shit. It's good to have a catchphrase that comes with a shoulder shrug.

Are you? Are you? I think you have to make this face. Are you? Are you? I think that's great. Because I just want to all have, you know, some fun stuff, some options for tattoos. Oh.

Call me Mrs. Manana. Is that gonna be? I'm practicing. So things are getting very serious between the two of you. I think so. Oh, oh, oh, CDA. Stop it. Oh, this is very...

Stop. How central. Well, Mama has that moment that we want to let her have. I... All right. It's a lucky banana. She's going to stop. I thought it was a banana.

It feels like there's a few people in a tavern that are... That look similar to some people we know. Can we bring up the candlelight? Yeah, you said, or can you say a spell that makes the candlelight brighter on that side of the room? Galee-Lyctin-Kama. Ooh, it almost works. Galee-Lyctin-Kama.

Galee-Lyick-ding-coma galee-vlick-ding-coma Feels like that feels like this this patron over here kind of looks like Jin leave you. Oh So staff and a hat I Would hate to be sitting behind that hat and staff It's like I can almost see over that hat, but that's staff. Oh, sigh. And that's about it. Yeah.

Everybody else went out of the tavern like it was fucking nothing. Oh, Jen LeLevy, uh. You said, are you okay? Yes, of course, you know. Jen-Levy has made her own pact with the dark lord at this point, so she can help fight him from the inside, but I... What does that mean? I forget.

But I must admit, I'm my heart doesn't begin to waver. For there is someone else in my sights. Mayor Manana? Oh, I wish. All I have to say is, Mayorermanana has lipstick all over him. This is gonna be a political scandal. I hope there aren't any paparazzi sketch artists in the tavern tonight.

Leave us alone, you jackals. Also, the paparazzi sketch artists of FUNAR. Actual jackals. Yeah, most of them. Yes, right wouldn't they be? What are they on earth? I mean they're just metaphorical jackals, but I don't know they got to work But you saw you were saying that you your eye was caught by someone else. Yes What's going on sad sack? You know like you know someone looks off into the distance and they're talking about being in love and then it feels like that music swells under them?

I'll never know If I'll feel my love's cup My wis- Oh, my... My wiz... My wizard, Mr. My star, my star, my star My star, my star Hard stop! Now, satseg,

Blue man, did you say I'll never fill my loves cup? What? Did you describe this cup? I was just setting up a rhyme. What was the rhyme? What was the rhyme? Stopped to examine it instead of glossing over it and letting it fucking happen. I'm sorry. I was trying to be reactionary,

but of course we all know that what we're most known for is musical improv. Sure. Fair enough. Yeah. Damn it. Now we're never gonna find out what rhymes with cuck. Last time I throw a net. Oh, well this will be fun for the listeners. If you figure out what rhymes with cuck, it's actually a clue to who I have my eyes at, Paul. Oh. I said my eyes set upon. Oh. I said it for a reason.

Speaking of listeners, we have some emails here. This is from Gretchen. Gretchen says, Gretchen's Ziegler. She says, how is Yusur known to his subjects? So now that you're king, a new name I will need. For other wizards to call me. I am known to the wizards as Yusudor king of the wizards, that sucks. I am known to the wizards as Yusudor, your majesty King almighty of wizard kind. That's better.

Yeah. Pretty good, pretty good. Here's an email from Kristen Benson. This is for Arnie. Says, I was wondering, what are Arnie's top 10 favorite guests? Oh, that's weird. Yeah. That's a weird one to get because you just were talking about how Momo's one of your top 10.

Arnie, is Momo 10? Oh, Momo, you're very close to the top as I would naturally say if I say 10. Well, in no particular order, my top ten would be Momo. Um... Um... Fizzle Von Pizzle, which the unicorn dentist. Two great episodes. Christopher.

Three. Um... The trans-dimensional delivery man. Oh. Spin-tax. Five. You know what? Future guest, Sarah, my wife. Oh, six.

Six, but seems like I cop out. Yeah. Yeah. Also, future guest, Barack Obama. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Um, DJ Kualz.

Yeah. Yeah. Power. Flower. Flower. What, you know what, look, I love flower but we just got a thing going on where we have issues. Yeah. Sometimes I wonder if it's a love them because I hate them sort of thing. You don't get to make the list. It's ony stop 10 lists. No, you ony will decide.

You said, or these are good comments that people should definitely leave on iTunes. And you know what, they're all here. You technically only have one more to say. The three of us together. Oh! As one. So that makes Momo... Oh shit!

That's Momo makes... Momo's okay, Momo's okay. That was... Momo's okay. Momo, can I ask if things were to... And I'm sure they will, because, uh, hope your head fell down. Uh, saw some tissue and viscera, but that's, oh.

It's, uh, Ukraine, this is what the sound is. If you and Mayor Manana were to have things escalate, what would be like a perfect date for you and, uh, you and Mayor Manana were to have things escalate. What would be like a perfect date for you and, you and Mayor Manana? I'd go on a long walk with Mayor Manana and we'd dance in the moonlight and I'd try not to eat him. Because he's a banana.

And we would talk and we'd dance and then we'd talk about all of his goals because he has goals beyond hog space. Ooh, like what? He wants to just sort of be the mayor but of the whole world. That doesn't sound bad. No, no, like the kind of mayor where you can't get voted out. Oh, no.

I know that's him. I know that's him. To make this official, I do hear my abdicate. I do hear my abdicate. My thigh was king of the wizards. But to me, no, and then I did rain justly and truly. I know Momo has human strength, but this is difficult. You're holding a lot of stuff. Does anyone want to arm wrestle Momo?

I would win. Oh, John, you should do it. I think she's talking to you. Hey, she has human strength. You're human. We are not. Just because I'm human doesn't mean I has human strength. You're human. We are not. So just because I'm human doesn't mean I have human strength. Oh, buddy.

That's not how it works. That's the saddest thing I've ever heard. Chant, what would you classify your strength as? Shape, shifter, strength. Chant, what would you currently classify it as? Badger strength. This wasn't as rich a vein as I thought it would be. All right.

No. Mama. Mama didn't think you'd say yes. Arnie, for strength, say your catchphrase. Arnie? Arnie. A nice rich audio moment. Yeah. Oh, the listeners are gonna love this.

Now, Movo, you're in a adorable tiny little mouth. Sure. And I just let me know if I'm gonna hurt you. No, Movo might let you in just because men are fragile. Oh. That's true. That's true. That's true.

That's true. That's true. That's true. That's true. That's true. That's true. That's true. That's true. That's true. That's true. That's true.

That's true. That's true. That's true. That's true. That's true. That's true. That's true. That's true.

That's true. That's true. That's true. That's true. That's true. That's true. That's true. That's true. That's true. That's true. about six six human is gonna arm wrestle a mouse To build up his confidence to build up his confidence there could not be any less upside for me I would just like to say that to make this happen. I'm going to have to step away from my microphone

Which brings me all of my power Arnie's stalling. Uh, chunt, chunt, what a lot of people don't realize is 10,000 years ago, Arm wrestling was invented by, uh, truth ingredients who abored. Mm-hmm, correct. And, uh, looks like Arnie's adopting the technique where he looks away so that, uh, so that he doesn't get psyched out by his opponent he's putting one knuckle down and one foot up. Classic, classic fancy boy stance. Fancy boy stance.

Looks like he's gonna arm wrestle, fancy boy style. Look, it's psychological. Also, don't forget the hardest part of arm wrestling is getting down on the floor. Also, you should have real quick. Did you hear the part where Arnie said his true strength is when he's away from the microphone? Oh, I believe he said his true strength was from the microphone, which I also used to do a real quick. Did you hear the part where Arnie said his true strength is when he's away from the microphone? I believe he said his true strength was from the microphone,

which I also used to, which I also don't believe. He's wrong about something. He does not take it well. I'm a shapeshifter, which means my skin is thin. It's all right, it's all right. It's imaliable. I guess. Arnie said that his strength came from the microphone, which I also don my skin is thin. It's all right. It's all right. He's be malleable. Yes, Olli said that his strength came from the microphone which I also don't believe is true.

All right, Arnie looks like he's still standing but he is kneeling and Yeah, let's countdown one two three down. One, two, three. Buddy, buddy, buddy, buddy, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, come here, come here, come here. Come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come Arnie, are you okay? You should or his bone is sticking out of his arm. Oh, uh, here, hold on, but the moment I shall heal it with, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, fuck it, I'll just use this scepter. Uh, big! There, it's fixed. Oh, god. That was amazing magic!

That was amazing magic. Who? And people say we don't do anything. That took a lot, Adam Bama, and I was gonna take a nap. Oh, wait, we can take nap during the show? Yeah, Arnie, we can do it. I do it all the time. Guys, watch. You sure we'll go into the wizard's state. I'm a color commentary.

I, I, I, I sports network. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I used to the RR sleeve. Look, I know they both seem to be in love with Mayor Manana. And I love Mayor Manana. Oh shit, I'll three of you. It's a love square. But isn't Mayor Manana really just a banana that we stressed out? I carved him from a banana. I don't know if he has any magical endowment, but I think he's just a banana that I carved.

I think he's just a banana. And my question is, what are we missing? I don't know. And he's rotten. Yeah. It's been a while. Right? So many browsers. So many browsers. Gorgeous. The potato is enchanted. Yeah. Right?

Gorgeous the screen potatoes enchanted. Man, man, that's just carved from a banana. Man, man, man, man. Oh, I'm almost in the mimos state. Man, man, man. What's that thing that's just dreaming? Man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, What's that thing that's just dreaming? Minanus. Minanus.

Minanus. Minanus. Maybe it's unrelated. Look. I don't want you to do. I don't want you to do. Momo seems so happy with marijuana, so I don't want to be a dick about it. Like, you pointed out like,

sometimes we try to cut down our friends when they're happy, and I wanna be happy, but that is really just a banana right? Of course, yeah, and why are you focusing on this? Let me go wrong, manana, banana. I'll be in love forever, manana, manana. Why are you so hung up on Momo and you said, or when you still haven't apologized to me for shooting all over Tussador?

Oh. up on Momo and you said when you still haven't apologized to me for shitting all over Tuesday door. Oh! Arny! But no, Chant, you're right. If we start calling out each other's unique delusions, where would we be? Here, I think still here. Yeah, still here. Hey, can you make an effort? Yeah, I'll make an effort. I'll spend some time with Tussador.

Thank you. Here's what we should do. The four of us should go on a fun trip together. You don't forget the 11th favorite guest. I got bumped by one of you when you said both of them. Okay, the six of us. It shall be myself, Momo, Mayer Manana, Arnie, Tussador, Chant, and we shall all go on a great quest.

We shall gather our supplies and head out to defeat the Dark Lord together. What a fun day it will be, spending weeks and weeks traveling across Foon to go and fight evil wherever we encounter it until we defeat the ultimate evil together. Well, that'd be fun. Let's get that as a tattoo. No. Although, that is interesting. It's interesting to learn what used to do as perfect day out would be. Yes. Months and months of toil and tar ship.

The perfect day. Mom, what would you say is your perfect day out? Vennanna. In the morning. Hello, Vennanna. In the morning, a little Veneanna in the morning when you wake up, just a little bit of Veneanna. And then, um, um, Mama will throw a chair through a wall, just to warm up for the day. Um, and then, um, Mama will like, each drop on Tussador and Chant, um, and just be horrified by that, be happy I'm not them.

Um, and then just spend the day with my, with my Nana. Uh-huh. John, do you ever, he's dropped on Momo and Mayor Manana? Oh, yeah. Dish. She's all over that banana. Really? Yeah.

And sometimes she pretends that she's an orange. She'll curl up in a ball and go, Really? Yeah. And sometimes she pretends that she's an orange. She'll curl up in a ball and go, orange, orange, orange, and like rub up against them. Okay, okay. And I, I do other fruit too. Okay. We're not bored of each other yet. I do other fruit too. May I'm in that. Who do you listen to? Onnie. Oh my. Oh, saucy.

John, what are we missing? I swear to God, I carved that banana. Listen, I'm a shapeshifter and I'm saying that banana has no magical properties. Sean, we can't roll out that everyone's just fucking with us. Also, I will say, love makes us do crazy things. Yeah, I put a bunch of bees in my mouth. I'm sorry to whoever owns this microphone, which is me, which is me, canonically, this is my microphone. Canonically, you owe yourself $300.

Look, I don't want to ask these follow-up questions, but I will. You don't want to. Alright, ask it. Ask it. I don't believe don't want to. All right, ask it. Ask it. I don't believe that for a second. Go ahead, ask it. Like, when there's like B play, can you use that in a sense? All right.

B movie, starring Jerry Seinfeld, was good, but I preferred the B play. Yeah. Yeah. but I preferred the B-play. Oh, I'm not sure. I'm not sure. Uh, origin of the phrase? I don't know, like, five seconds ago.

Okay, what's the rest of the question? I mean, like, how do you handle it? Like, how do you, how do you attack that problem? Like, what's, like, what do you handle it? How do you attack that problem? How do you, like, what, like, what do you, how do you solve a problem like be genitals? That's a tattoo. Yeah. I let him fly in my mouth, go in, go out. Look, Chan, I don't want to ask this question,

but I'm sure we're going to get emails. When the bees are in your mouth, do you swallow? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Wait, wait, wait, get out ahead of that one. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Because only I would have to read the emails. Now everyone has to be subject to it. I think that's none of your business.

Oh, that's none of your beeswax, my man. That's none of your food and damn business. Okay, you're right. No, I'm sorry. I think sometimes I'm so dedicated to being an amazing interviewer on this podcast that I, here's what I'd say, Arnie, if you were happier for me, I would tell you. If you came from a place of curiosity, I would fill you in, but you come from a place of being upset, and therefore I'm not going to tell you.

I love you, you're my best friend, but I want you to love Tussardor. And until you do, I'm not going to tell you about our nasty business. OK, you're right, John. That's fair. Later, will you do it? I will. Absolutely not. I will, Dish.

Yeah. Momo, how are you feeling about Tussador, sidelined up next to Mayor Manana before? Yeah, I've been looking over. Mayor Manana's never looked at me the way he's looking at Yucidor. It's not like Yucidor is looking at Marmena. It's like he's being hitman-dust. I mean, I get it.

There's something, hold on. Uh-oh. Don't fall in love with him. Don't fall in love with him. Momo, does that banana tell you to do things? No, I tell the banana to do things. He does, because he doesn't talk much. It's almost as if he's just a carved banana.

That's what I've been saying! Hypothetically, and I don't think this is true. If he was just a carved banana, how would that affect your mental state? Well, before this Momo's longest relationship was a mop with googly eyes. So I've been had before. Fuck, she needs a win. Yeah. My god, it's full of potassium.

Young? There's truly so much lipstick on this. I'm so sorry. John, I feel like that banana is full of dark magic, but they like need it. Yeah. I mean, at some point I knew dark magic, so maybe when I carved it,

some of it went through the blade into the banana. Uh-huh. But I think it's just a banana. He told me he'd give me the moon. He was like, I'll give you the moon. I'll give you the moon, Mom, Mom. I'll give you the moon, Mom. I'll give you the moon the moon. I'll give you the moon, Mama. I'll give you the moon, Mama. I'll ask all the moon for you, Mama.

John. Then he said, just say the word. I'll throw it on up there. Why are you all talking like that? I'll give you the moon. John, that's clearly that telebananatox. And then he was like, ah, there's someone being martyred outside my window. Is that, that's a different one. Well, he told me that the dark lord couldn't steal all the riches from Hogsface, because the money's in that house. And that house.

And that house. And I think he got confused by all the makeup on him. He was like, my mouse bleeding, bird, my mouse bleeding. Guys, the young people are loving this episode. So, so young and hip. Every time a bigot swallowed. Yes, it gets his wings. Well, should we decide who should be wearing this crown

and carrying this after? I believe, Chuck, you're still King of the Badger. Well, Mama's the only one who hasn't worn it. I'll take it. I'll take it. I'll take it. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, with all the power invested in me as the as as Arnie as the as the host of this podcast I deem you oh it doesn't feel great that crown I go I Deem you Momo

Queen of the guests Queen of the guests. Oh! Oh! Oh! You're Majesty. You're Majesty. You're Majesty. Eleven's Queen of the guests.

No, no, Queen of the guests. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no that banana ever does become king of food, we're fucked. Definitely. I am very glad that you're queen now, because Momo, you are most deserving of this high status. And I swear my fieldy unto your mousey kingdom. That's really sweet. Well, thank you. And I will try and be more respectful since you're living with...

I feel like you're all overcompensating because now I know I'm 11. To be fair, that was Anis list. And I'm so bad with numbers. Look, none of us are perfect. You know what? None of us are perfectly happy. You said, or you're torn about love.

Chant, you've been gobbling bees. LAUGHTER Momo, you're in love. Did you just crack yourself up? Look, if you can enjoy your own work then. Then, first and foremost, I do this podcast for myself. And I'm as, and I'm as surprised as anyone that other people like it.

I, yes. But look, all I'm saying is we're flawed and we're fucked up and we're weirdos, but I like you. I like all of you. Ooh, I like all of you. And I like our time together. I cannot stop picturing Chant and Tussardore. It's all I see when it close my eyes now.

I'm gonna have to do some sketches just to try to figure out what's going on. Well anyway, Momo, thank you for stopping by. Oh, thank you for having me. And you should come, you should come by more often scheduled permitting. Yeah. Sure, I'll check and I'll just make this my 11th priority. Yeah.

Damn. Yeah. Yeah. Damn. That's our show. Thank you so much. That's our show. Thank you so much. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. I think it's fair to say this show is everyone's 11th priority. John Tthe Badger was played by Adel Refy. Used all the wizard was played by Matt Young. Momo, the mouse with human strength, was played by special guest Aaron Keith. Check out Aaron's very funny podcast, Hey Riddle Riddle, where she, Adel, and John Patrick Cohen tried to solve riddles and sometimes act them out.

That's Hey Riddle Riddle available wherever you listen to podcasts. Hello from the Magic Tavern was produced by Arnie Neacamp, Evan Chicover, and Ryan to Georgie. This one edited by Tim Joyce, music by Andy Poland, logo by Adler Leban, additional audio effects by Jason Knox, production assistance by Garrett Schultz. Visit us at hellofromthemagictavern.com or on Facebook or Twitter. Thanks as always to the Chicago podcast co-op and Earwolf. Hey, shouldn't there be a bulb in the monitor for the polarity generator?

Oh, yeah, we needed that for the holidays. Fair enough. It would only light up if the generator was starting to invert. Can you imagine? No. But I can ponder. Hmm. was starting to invert. Can you imagine? No, but I can ponder.