Hollywood Handbook - D’Arcy Carden, Our Possible Halftime Show Friend
Episode Date: April 2, 2024The Boys audition D’ARCY CARDEN to perform at next year’s Super Bowl Halftime show. See Hollywood Handbook live and livestreamed April 24th at the Dynasty Typewriter in LA! Click for... ticketsGet a Hat Pack Hat here!Watch the video of today’s episode at Patreon.com/TheFlagrantOnes. Like the show? Rate Hollywood Handbook 5-Stars on Apple PodcastsAdvertise on Hollywood Handbook via Gumball.fm See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Discussion (0)
This is a HeadGum Podcast.
It was absolutely thundering and lightning-ing
when I left my house.
Today?
Yeah, on my way here.
But not raining, kind of?
And raining.
It was also raining.
Wait, actually, I should say that.
I just saw the four voting clouds on the horizon.
It did start with no rain.
Okay.
The clouds are extremely storm-coated.
It's so storm-coated.
They were very storm-coated today.
A weatherman says that.
Okay, so the slow pressure system is highly storm-coated.
And the sky is absolutely spilling.
So I think, is the show happening?
Okay, so I think we gotta just like, actually like,
really make this a really special episode
and like actually solve the issue that we've had.
Yeah. I don't know if you, like,
I guess from the top, like, all right,
so you already heard her talk a little bit.
We're here with, uh, the host of Winky Hole.
And it's like so amazing because obviously
you've been guesting on podcasts successfully
for quite some time.
Everyone's been enjoying it and you're like,
why the fuck am I giving this away?
When I could have ownership of it.
Make them all come to me. Yeah, and munch it. M I could have ownership of it. Give me a piece of that.
Make them all come to me.
I'm starving.
Yeah, and munch it.
Munch it. Me want cookie.
Me want cookie.
And if you haven't heard Winky Hole,
she is eating on this show.
I'm eating coded.
I'm food coded.
It's so meal coded.
It's meal coded.
It's factor meal coded.
Yeah.
You have a factor arrangement?
I do, yeah.
Okay.
Not that by the way, not that just the fact
that she mentions factor means that she has to have.
That's right.
It's a brand that people know about.
People just eat it because they eat it.
It's not just a podcast thing.
That's right.
It's a real company.
Yeah, it's a real company with real chicken.
But I was just observing her energy
and like your personality right now is just like,
obviously you are on the plan, so.
Just because of my vibe?
Yeah, I mean like.
Are you on the plan?
No, we're, oh, I mean, I would hope it's obvious.
Okay, it's obvious.
My energy levels are fucking insane.
I actually find my factor tolerance has built up so much
that like I am gonna have to start like,
upping my factor dosage.
Yeah, for sure.
I know, I've already created some false accounts
to start getting multiple deliveries to my house
because they do try to limit it.
We've been talking about starting another podcast.
Oh really?
Yeah.
Factor based?
To get more.
Or just to get more money?
I mean, I think that would tip them off
if we were like, hey, we're starting a factor based.
It's all about factor. I think they might start to look into it more deeply.
Because they're gonna be like,
we already know that we're getting the weekly.
Literally could be books.
Like thistle.
Oh, okay, also throw them off big time.
Well, I just think they'd be like,
they'd be so hungry for them.
I don't wanna piss them off.
No.
That's very delicate.
No, because imagine you're factor.
But it's called nagging, Hayes.
Oh yeah.
That's like so much of our philosophy.
For negative.
Yeah, you guys are kind of the neg kings.
Oh my God, that's why people do the show,
you know what I mean?
We wanna be. We do three things.
We neg you, we demonstrate value,
and we establish safe touch.
It's Keno. Todd's Keno.
It's Keno.
It's Keno.
Keno.
Delivering a Keno speech.
Yeah.
Okay, speaking of Keno, what about keto factor meals?
They're really good and they have so much fat in them.
You can see it.
We tried to.
Quivering.
Quickening, yes.
We tried them for one sesh Quivering, yes, yes.
We tried them for one sesh,
and we were like, these are the best ones ever,
and then we looked at the calories and we said,
whoopsie dopes.
And that's by the way, it's not called a meal
when you do factor, it's called a sesh.
Yeah.
You're having sesh.
You're having sesh.
Ew.
You know what Kevin told me?
What?
That his garage is not gonna be ready
for the housewarming party.
Did you hear about this?
No.
Yeah, Kevin was telling us.
Kev.
So what the hell are you gonna do?
What are we gonna do?
Yeah.
What are we gonna do as a group?
What are we gonna do?
You know what I mean?
Three of us.
It's gonna just be a couple of wooden walls and-
The stucco layer is not gonna be.
The first-
So he tried to have the cake decorator use frosting.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, but the cake decorator-
I said, well, here's the cake.
Oh, you could, it was, they were down,
but you just kept eating it?
Yo, they were doing it, he ate it all.
They were doing it, but I couldn't help myself.
I got sweet tooth.
Oh, brother, oh, brother.
Hey guys, you know what?
Now that I do podcasts, you know what, now that I do podcasts,
you know what I heard?
The first four minutes are the most important.
Yeah.
If you don't get them within the first four minutes,
they're outta here.
That is something that we really needed to know
10 years ago.
Who told you that?
Everybody.
It does make sense why a lot of people.
Wait, and so are there people just kind of
wandering into these things?
Maybe, I would imagine you guys have your
decade long fan base, you're good.
Couple of them, yeah.
Couple of them.
You're good.
But I guess if you've got new listeners,
you know what I mean, new listeners,
they might be like, let me try this thing out.
Then yeah, but the people that have been
listening for damn near 20 years.
Well, what we find, we find that sometimes somebody
will come on the show who like,
we don't know that well and they'll go like,
I love the show, I love how you do these crazy fake stories
at the beginning and we'll be like, oh yeah,
we kind of stopped doing that like three and a half years ago.
Almost anything they say betray the trays that they have
in the shower are really funny.
But it's like they checked out one
and they checked out the first four minutes, as you said,
which is the crucial part.
That is so good.
And here's why it's important,
because your guests,
that's what they're gonna know about your show,
is they're gonna listen to four minutes on the way there.
That's right.
Do the recording.
And then they're gonna be like,
oh yeah, I like the show too.
Anything outside of the one episode that I picked out
with the guest that you had whose name I knew,
which also was over three and a half years ago.
Do you call them out or do you say, thanks my man?
Present company excluded.
Of course.
What episode are you on?
Well, I don't know.
I listened to, wait, I was just listening to Joe Mandy.
No, what episode?
It's your show.
Oh, God.
I don't give a fuck about my show.
I live with my show.
Oh my God, okay.
I wanna know more about you.
Shout out to Joe Mandy.
Great episode.
I'm halfway through your episode.
That's one of ours.
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
And I'm not even gonna ask if she thinks
there was only one.
No, the most recent, the most recent.
The most recent.
And I'm not even gonna ask. He's so heartbroken. Yeah, I'm not even gonna ask which one she No, the most recent, the most recent. The most recent. And I'm not even gonna ask, he's so heartbroken.
Yeah, I'm not even gonna ask which one
she thinks is the most recent.
It's clearly the most recent.
Okay. What do you mean?
I said I'm not gonna ask.
I mean, I'm not gonna ask.
I can't, no, I'd be destroyed.
Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, thank you.
I'm listening to this winky hole thing.
Yeah, you are.
You keep it moving.
You gotta.
I was noticing that some of your guests
don't know what the Berlin Wall is.
I noticed that too.
What percentage would you know?
Smart guess too.
So far it seems like zero percent aware of it.
We gotta have a Berlin Wall question.
It comes up a lot.
It does, yeah.
And something that Darzy will do is
just kind of ask the question again
in the exact same language, like,
maybe you didn't hear the question.
That's the only thing I can think of
that would lead to what's happening now.
Sometimes I think it's like a WiFi issue,
because we do it over Squadcast,
different than Zoom, but similar.
I would listen to that, and it could be a promotional tactic
to just advertise it by the end of the episode.
You will know if the guest has heard
of the Berlin Wall before. That's great.
That's so great.
Do you mind if I take that back to the team?
I encourage you to. I wish you would.
What network are we pushing around town?
NBC. No, no.
Your podcast is NBC. Oh, no. No. Your podcast is like NBC.
Oh my God.
Oh my God.
I have no offense to you,
NBC's doing worse than I thought.
Bad.
Things are bad.
It's a-
I hadn't heard of a show of theirs in a little while.
That's what they're doing now.
And I realized, like, this is where we went, yeah.
So we're, it's smartless and-
It's more like less smart when I hear some of these guests.
Oh my God.
More like less smart when I hear some of these guests. Oh my God.
More like less smart when I hear some of these guests.
Do you mind if I take that?
Smarter than you for sure.
Yeah, less smart than me.
I know what the Berlin Wall is.
I'm just lucky that I'm not a guest on my own show
because I don't know shit.
Well, that's a very powerful thing.
And speaking of power,
Hayes and I have been given a very great responsibility.
Do you know Jesse David Fox's?
Yeah, I do.
Vulture?
So he had this sort of ingenious idea
that I don't know how no one else was talking about it,
writing about it, but basically he said,
after the Super Bowl, hey, wait a second.
All these musicians are doing the halftime show
and no one likes it or knows who they are.
What if a comedian did it?
So we bring in this comedian
to try to get him up to speed for it.
And we, you know Bill Hines?
Bill Hines.
Bill Hines.
God, it sounds so familiar. Oh yeah, yeah, Bill Hines? Bill Hines. Bill Hines. God, it sounds so familiar.
Oh yeah, yeah, Bill Hines, yeah, yeah.
He's very like sleepy coded.
Very like, like.
Yeah.
Which could be nice.
Yes.
To sort of a counterpoint to all the.
Well, Jesus, I'm supposed to stay awake for the whole game?
Right.
Like, let me have a break is what we thought.
Some like different energies perhaps.
Well, this is what I'm,
but this different energies is exactly what I think we need
because as we kind of dug into it with him,
and he brought some pretty strong material,
we ended up, and we brought some too,
we ended up realizing that just like somebody's
standing there talking to a mic
is just not gonna have the energy we need.
And him in particular.
And him too.
And him too.
It's not gonna work. No, God no.
We're not moving forward.
No, it was really.
To use a football analogy,
we deleted the football's phone number.
Uh-huh.
Mm-hmm.
To put it into football terms.
Yeah.
The football will not be invited back on the show.
That's just to use a little bit of a sports term.
Does he know, does Bill know?
The football.
Oh yeah, does the football know
that he's not gonna be invited back on?
You know, he seems like a bright guy.
He'll put two and two together.
Yeah, but you're not gonna let him go sort of.
What are we gonna tell everyone
who's not gonna be on the show
that they're not gonna be on there?
Yeah, I mean imagine if we had done that with you,
then we wouldn't have had an episode this week.
Oh my God, wait.
You know what I mean imagine if we had done that with you then we wouldn't have had an episode this week. Oh my god wait You know like if I had had a bad show on this on this I'm just saying every time somebody left the studio
We went never again to Kevin
He emailed them then we wouldn't be able to sort of like move past it and realize because we can change our minds
How okay? I got a real I'm a fickle little yeah, you are
Oh my God, I'm a fickle little stinker, aren't I? He's a flirt.
I got a real question for you.
How many times, that's okay,
how many times have you had someone on
and you do say to each other never again?
They say it to us.
Yeah.
And it's a lot.
And it's most, mostly.
So we have to figure out the stage direction,
We gotta fill this space.
like the lighting cues and stuff like that.
Because basically you guys have this, you got the,
We have the block.
We have to book this space.
Yes.
Winky Hole is a goddamn runaway train, rocket ship,
and we wanna kind of strap ourselves in there.
Oh, hell yeah.
I didn't even think about this.
Halftime podcast.
And we need, and it's like,
and it's like, Jesse doesn't always have the idea,
but he does have the idea that gets you to the idea.
Yes, okay, so you have to.
Because stand-up comedy, I believe,
is dead and has been for a long time,
and the new art form, the new vehicle through which you can deliver
some of the same ideas as stand-up comedy is podcasting.
So why is it a podcast, the half-time show?
CPR on a lifeless body,
and he's doing it on its belly button.
He didn't know, if he maybe knew CPR better,
he might have actually been able to save this guy.
To come up with this podcast idea.
Now are you-
Well to save standup comedy.
Oh, shit.
Like he could never have come up with this podcast.
Okay, right, right.
But he could come up with the idea that leads to the idea.
Yeah.
Now when you-
And you need that guy.
He damn near did.
And he damn near did.
Now when you think of a podcast being the halftime show,
do you think of just in your ears,
or would we be able to see it?
Would it be like a, you know what I'm saying?
Cause I know the new-
Full blackout.
Yeah, that's what I was thinking.
Just not show anything on the TV.
Cause I know the new-
And all the people inside the stadium, I guess,
have to like put on like a weighted sleep mask.
Well, they have to be quiet for sure.
They gotta shut the fuck up.
They have to shut the, they have to be quiet for sure. They gotta shut the fuck up. They have to shut that up.
They have to shut the up.
Yeah. Right?
So I think, you know, obviously these gorgeous cameras,
these gorgeous boys, the lighting,
like podcast is sort of entering the visual world hardcore.
Right.
But let's go for the first one,
I'd say let's be pure podcast.
Pure podcast. For the first one. The first. For the first one. This'd say let's be pure podcast. Pure podcast. For the first one.
The first.
For the first one.
This is how the medium developed.
We didn't just like go straight to,
or they tried to do that with the Video Podcast Network.
But to be clear, you're planning on doing multiple
Super Bowl halftime shows consecutively,
and easing them in the idea of the Wiki,
the Wiki-hole Super Bowl halftime show,
adding video at some point on the line.
I feel like Wiki will be the first podcast
to do the Super Bowl halftime,
but we're just opening the door.
And you guys wanna get in on producing this?
Smartless, Wondering, and the fucking Hat Pack?
The Super Bowl halftime show?
Yeah, isn't that what we're...
Do we wanna get in on it?
Oh, do we wanna get them in on it?
No, do you wanna get, do you guys want to produce
your podcast?
We produce your show.
Yes.
And then it's more of a natural fit.
Maybe when we talk to these Superbowl guys,
I don't know which ones are,
I don't know which teams it's going to be at.
We haven't gotten the envelope,
but we got to talk to the teams obviously.
And it'll affect the guests.
Because from what I've gathered,
Jesse David Fox basically came to you guys,
in a way, in a way.
In a dream.
And said, I think a stand-up comedian
should be the half-time at the Super Bowl.
It sure felt like he was talking straight to me.
Right.
You guys said, hmm, let me think on that.
Actually, stand-up is dead. Right. You guys said, hmm, let me think on that. Actually, stand up is dead.
Mm-hmm.
Podcast.
You killed it.
So actually, he did CPR so badly on it,
he basically did kill it.
It was actually doing okay when he started doing CPR,
but if you blow hard enough into someone's belly button,
they're going to have an issue.
You get air in the bloodstream, basically.
It's not actually as hard as you think.
Yeah, it's certainly not as hard as he did it.
I don't think it's that hard.
Yeah, okay.
Okay, so you guys have the idea to do podcasts
in the Super Bowl, the halftime at the Super Bowl.
What's it called again?
The Halftime Show.
You're suggesting Wiki-hole, my show, be the first one.
Be the first one.
The first podcast to do it.
What could potentially be consecutive halftime shows. Right, every year. The first one. The first one. What could potentially be consecutive half time shows.
Right, every year.
No, in this game.
Oh.
We might do a couple.
Oh shit.
It depends how the game is going.
You know what I mean?
Right, right.
Because okay, doesn't actually have to be at the half.
Did you watch the half time show this year?
Who was it, let's think.
Let's think back.
I can't remember.
Hold on, hold on, hold on.
It was so recent. And let's just think back. Hold on, hold on, hold on. It was so recent.
And let's just think back.
Hold on, hold on, hold on.
What are you thinking?
What are just some of the general elements?
All I can think is Rihanna, Rihanna.
Well, let's wiki-hole our way to the answer.
Yeah, okay, great.
Thank you, Sean.
Okay, so.
Okay.
Kevin, look up Edgar Allan Poe.
Yes, exactly what I was gonna suggest.
Pull up the Wikipedia of Edgar Allan Poe. Exactly what I was gonna suggest. Pull up the Wikipedia of Edgar Allan Poe.
10 years, 10 years.
Okay.
That's Google.
Is this Try Month?
What does that mean?
Just ended.
It just ended, okay.
Boy, it snuck up on me and it snuck by me.
What's Try Month?
And it snuck by the listeners as well.
Try Month is every year,
and this is the heartbreak that I was trying to avoid.
Okay, no, no, no, it's okay.
Not asking which Joe Mandy episode.
Try month is what we did every year
where in the month of March,
we get guests where we're like trying really hard
to book good guests.
We try to actually get people
at least that we haven't had before,
if not legitimately good guests
Okay, no Darcy is from like a pure
star power like slugging percentage perspective like a
Qualifying guest
Only that she's like been here so many fucking times at this point
Oh, yeah, like she could not be. In the try month.
She already did it last year.
Did I?
No I didn't.
She did it for the big one where we had like 12 guests.
Oh yeah, yeah, on Zoom?
I really did not deliver that day.
I'm glad you guys had me back.
I was being really funny.
Because it was not going so well,
like in the moment we were to Kevin,
like kind of off Mike,
like we need to get a bunch more people in here.
That was, was that just one year ago?
That was like three years ago.
No, unfortunately. It was one year ago.
It was two years ago.
Okay, gotta be two years ago,
because it felt very COVID-y, it felt very COVID-y.
Kevin, how much years? It was very COVID-coded.
I think you're right. It was so disease-coded.
It was very coded 19.
Coded 19, wait, I'm not gonna apologize.
And I know you don't want me to.
I love this podcast.
I don't listen to every episode.
I don't, I don't listen to any-
How do you take a month off every now and then?
You take spring break is what it sounds like.
You have to.
I don't listen to every episode of any podcast.
So if I don't know what try month is,
you gotta believe me that I love you guys
and I love the pod.
I'm telling Aira.
Hello, Mr. Glass.
You're on the team.
They call me Mr. Glass.
Okay, so we're on Edgar Allan Poe Wiki.
Edgar Allan Poe.
Even in these many minutes that you asked me
when, what this halftime show is,
I still don't remember who just did it.
Let's look at some of his notable work.
Well, that's why we're taking you down the wiki hole.
I'm gonna try to-
We're going right to the notable works, okay.
Okay, well what did you wanna do for us?
You wanna see if we could get to it
through the Episcopal Church of 1812?
Well, I think we probably needed to go one more step
ahead of Edgar Allan Poe and go to like Baltimore.
I think so.
So the second I think of it, should I say it
or should I let you guys go down this wiki hole?
I think you should say it.
Okay.
So we're going to Notable Works
and we're just taking a tour through his.
Oh, I got it.
His military.
I got it.
Yeah.
Okay, so I got it, but how are you gonna get there?
Yeah, well, it's.
One of his notable words.
Yeah, we were gonna have to.
Is the fall of the house of The Weeknd.nd, who was the host of the halftime show
this year, and that's what we call it technically.
I didn't know this, they call it The Host.
Okay, okay, wait, so.
The Weeknd of course is friends with Amontillado,
who was the performer.
Yes, yes.
What is his name?
Amontillado.
Is that, wait, okay, was it or was it not usher?
Amontillado.
Oh. M-O-Nher? Monteotto. Oh.
Oh.
M-O-N-T-Y.
Okay.
Y-A-C-H-T-O.
So are you, wait, okay, okay, now, now, okay.
Sometimes I gotta, I gotta break through.
I gotta break through.
Is there really an Edgar Allan Poe story called
Fall of the House of Usher? The Fall of the House of of Usher. I was recently also adapted into like a Netflix series. Did we watch it?
You know, I haven't gotten around to it because I'm so swamped with the podcast
So much and you know what they said to us sure after he hosted the halftime show what never more?
Which is what people say to you guys after they do our podcast. Yeah, we heard that before.
Hey gang, it's Sean Clemens here to talk about Harry's razors.
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say you can, I guess you could say pass.
Pass.
All right. So, so, you know, that wasn't particularly funny, but you know what else is not funny?
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at the end of the day it was even hard for her just to get out the word pass
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We didn't do self-check. We almost always do self-checkout at that and she did
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You wanna say bye, Grace?
Bye, Grace.
Oh my God, that's so corny.
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And it was, of course, our podcast Patreon.
You can see all of your subscriptions in one place.
And if you see something you don't want,
Rocket Money can help you cancel it with a few taps.
And now reading this, I can kinda see,
we did sort of walk into this.
I love how the dashboard shows me this month's spending
compared to last month,
so I can clearly see my spending habits.
Yeah, that was bad for us.
Help me create a custom budget,
keep my spending on track.
Yes.
Rocket Money will even try to negotiate to lower your bills for you by up to 20%.
And we are getting absolutely rocked on these negotiations.
Yeah, up to 20%.
I didn't even know there was a ceiling on it like this.
I mean, like we're blowing through that 20%.
I don't know what they're doing with us.
All you have to do is submit a picture of your bill
and Rocket Money takes care of the rest.
Boy, do they ever.
They'll deal with customer service for you.
Yeah, Kevin shows up.
Kevin's getting bruises
and this is all just happening over the phone.
Rocket Money has over five million users
and has saved a total of five hundred million dollars in cancelled subscriptions
So they say yeah based on what's happening to us like that's pretty much it
Saving members up to seven or forty dollars a year. We usually go out the apps features
Stop wasting money on things. You don't use oh god
Cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to rocket money commcom slash the boys, and they are slash the boys.
That's rocketmoney.com slash the boys,
rocketmoney.com slash the boys.
Hollywood Hamburg.
We should talk about who to guest on the halftime show.
We gotta get it, so let's assume,
I mean, who do we wanna,
cause let's line them up a little bit
with the cities that are playing, right?
So that it feels like, well we gotta figure that out.
Okay.
Do you, so how many, what's the capacity you feel like
that your show has for like how many guests, right?
We've only ever had three, but I feel really confident
that we could have four.
Talk to the fire departments.. Talk to the fire departments.
I talk to the fire departments.
See if they let four people in there.
Yeah, they were into it.
Okay. Yeah.
I feel like any more than-
If there is an emergency.
Right, what are we gonna do?
You're like at a certain tonnage of people,
you're gonna like crush each other.
Totally, totally, totally.
On the way to the door.
On the way to the door?
Yeah. Yeah.
And like, our podcast has had that a lot of times
where everyone is trying to like get out
like as quickly as possible.
Right, right.
You know?
And then they get smeared.
Smeared?
They get so smeared.
Yeah, people do get smeared.
Yeah, okay, so I guess depending on what football teams
are in the, whoa, look at one of his short stories
is the name of a restaurant that's on this goddamn block.
We don't like to do people to know.
Great, great, great.
We try not to tell people.
Probably pretty easy to Google.
No, you could just put it in your, okay.
Don't tell them about Google.
That's why we had them get rid of,
they had our poster outside and we were like,
get rid of it. Get rid of it.
That wasn't them that decided to do that because.
You guys said.
No, they were like, can we leave it up?
We're really proud of the show.
And you said.
And we were like, no, we were like,
put other shows up, like rotate through other ones.
Oh, that's nice of you guys.
Don't keep ours on there forever.
That's so nice of you guys.
So that's why they decided not to do that.
I love that.
I wonder if Taylor would be interesting.
Ooh, hits.
And people are like, oh, like of course,
like the script is they're gonna bring the chiefs back.
They're gonna be able to show Taylor Swift,
it's rigged, and it's like, obviously not,
but she will be dating whoever is in the Super Bowl.
Yeah.
So we're kinda-
No, she's like the octopus
that picks the Super Bowl winner. Ooh, say more on that. But she's like the person who picks the Super Bowl. Is in the Super Bowl, right. Yes. So we're kind of. No, she's like the octopus that picks the Super Bowl winner, but.
Oh, say more on that.
But she's like the person who picks the Super Bowl winner.
What's this octopus?
She's like the person who,
Decides?
Makes love to one of the gentlemen
who will be winning the Super Bowl.
And gets a treat afterwards like the octopus.
So what's this octopus that's, tell me more.
Pull it up, Kev.
It's another wiki hole.
Is it like Puxetan Phil in a way?
Super Bowl picking octopus.
We're going down a wiki hole.
Wiki hole.
Brrrr.
Brrrr.
Okay, so Kevin has Googled octopus.
The word octopus, okay, great.
Maybe like.
Now what would you do from here?
You see this. You see octopus Wikipedia, what, W-Y-D.
What do you do?
Yeah.
You, well we're looking for something
that has to do with football, right?
But I'm saying for your show.
Oh great, well okay, here's,
you wanna sneak into my, a little sneak peek?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Let me behind the curtain a little bit,
because I'm listening to this thing and I go,
how do they do it?
Okay, it's not gonna like look good on my ass.
All right.
I don't do jack shit.
We have writers that go down these wiki holes.
All I do is tell them, I say, hey guys,
here's the thing I've been thinking about lately
and then I'll come up with a topic.
Now that takes some work.
They start with the topic.
No, I do. But then they do.
They start with the topic you've given them.
That's right.
And then all the rest of the work is done by them.
All the rest of the work is them.
That doesn't look good on your ass.
I know.
Sorry to say it.
I already said that though.
That does not look good on your ass.
At least I'm admitting it.
So now, thank God Wikipedia.
Do you wanna shout them out?
That could be dope.
Yeah, Megan O'Neil.
So Megan O'Neil's multiple writers.
She honestly is.
Mary Beth Brone.
Yes.
Eric Cunningham.
Sure.
And if you think I know any of the other names,
you got another thing coming, baby.
That's so many!
Wow.
That's stupid.
It's stupid.
You're a job creator.
I know, yeah.
And the other thing, and thank God,
WikiPede isn't like sponsoring us.
Can I admit another thing?
Please.
It's not good.
It's gonna look bad on my ass.
Oh no, not again.
You think.
You ready for it?
Oh God, not again.
You know that WikiPede was a person.
When I signed Tom. No, no. You ready for it? Not again. You know that Wikipedia was a person. When I signed on.
No, no.
Wicked Pete.
Wicked Pete.
If he's wicked, we shouldn't be using him at all.
Nah, but he has so many riddles.
That's wicked Pete.
He'll take your first born child.
I don't use Wikipedia that much.
Okay.
I just don't use Wikipedia that much.
I just don't use it that much.
Tarsi, that looks so bad on your ass.
That looks really bad on your ass.
My brain is, my brain is bad.
Wait, I'm sorry, you like act in stuff
and you don't use Wikipedia?
I feel like I Google more than I,
I mean, sometimes a Google gonna lead you to Wiki.
But what do you mean I act in stuff
and I don't use Wikipedia?
And what's the correlation?
Info?
Are you fucking serious right now?
Are you even fucking serious?
Say it.
This isn't part of your, so you're saying,
you like play characters and Wikipedia's
not part of your process at all.
Not at all.
That's not your research.
Okay, tell me you don't research your characters
without telling me you don't research your characters.
That looks so bad on your ass.
There's been actors longer than there's been Wikipedia, so fucking riddle me that.
Yeah, and all the shit sucks.
They used to have Encyclopedia before that.
First of all, they had the whole set and it sucked.
Name one good performance prior to Wikipedia.
Okay, I could.
Oh please, no, disagree.
I never said I didn't use the encyclopedia, bitch.
Okay.
Okay.
And this came right back around on us.
We should have gone with my response.
When we both responded at the same time.
And I think that actually might've been directed at me.
Oh no.
Oh you guys, we got off on the wrong foot.
She got the fucking N-card, the CD-ROM out.
So what have you been doing in the first four minutes?
Yeah, how have you been responding to that note?
I don't like that note.
You gotta introduce the idea every time.
Do you really wanna know?
Yeah.
It's not gonna look good on my ass.
Dude, this whole episode has looked so bad
on your ass so far.
They're gonna fire me hard.
Kevin gonna have to fucking chop and screw this edit
worse than the wiki hole episode I listened to.
Worse, he said worse.
He said worse. He said worst.
He said worst, that's so mean coded.
Oh my God.
You're keeping it tight.
You're keeping it tight.
You're gonna let people trail off
and just go off on a tangent?
No, I hear you, I hear you.
We're gonna fucking.
I am.
No, Adam Peli.
Happy birthday today.
Oh my gosh.
Oh wait, cut that,
because I don't know what day this is coming out.
And we can't have that.
Yeah, and people will use it to find the studio as well.
People confused about when we're doing this,
where we're doing this.
Okay.
So who's been on the show so far?
No, no, no, I was gonna tell you
about the first four minutes.
Oh, right, right, right, right, right, right.
Basically, I'm trying to really chit chat with the guests.
I mean, and by the way, love my producers, love my team, my whole Wiki team, love them.
It's a big squad.
Big squad.
Squad cast.
Squad cast.
Squad goals.
Right?
But I feel like I'm trying to like have a chit chat
with the guests, get the listeners to know who's who,
what's their personality, what's their style.
You should say squad holes.
Squad holes, okay, I'm doing that in the next episode.
Like the show.
But we are getting the notes
that we gotta get straight to the trivia ASAP.
And I'm pushing back a little bit.
The trivia's gotta start.
You wanna do the guest intro first.
I wanna kinda wait.
So the listeners are one minute in.
Yeah.
And they're like, okay, I guess this bitch
is never gonna get to the trivia.
You calling me a bitch?
No.
Talking about myself. One, no, trivia. You calling me a bitch? No, talking about myself.
One, no.
Two, you called him a bitch before.
Three, he said you were being a bitch.
He didn't call you one.
And I was referring to the listeners.
As I think I've established,
I have yet to listen to the show.
But I'm going to.
Yes, am I gonna listen to every episode?
Exactly, exactly.
No.
He might have been talking about John Gabris.
Oh yeah.
Because ultimately the guests have to get
to the trivia as well.
Yeah.
So maybe that's who he was saying,
he's going, this bitch is never gonna get to the trivia.
Exactly, exactly.
He's gonna keep introducing himself.
Okay, I'm gonna put you on the spot,
look in my eyes, boys, one in each.
Will you be on my podcast?
What?
Oh!
Oh my God.
Oh my gosh.
Amazing.
If it's at an okay time.
Gavin, give her my email.
Let's schedule something.
Let's get something scheduled.
No, I have your phone number.
You were at my wedding.
We know each other really well.
It's been almost two years.
I mean, 20 years.
Please don't bring up weddings right now.
I got this one I gotta go to this weekend
that I'm dreading.
Oh no.
Who, what, where, why?
Why is right. You invited by the way.
I didn't hear your name on the seating chair.
No, I haven't.
I'm not going to any weddings this weekend.
Who's getting married?
How do you fucking manage to get out of that?
Someone we both know?
Yes.
I don't need to go to any more weddings ever.
Yeah.
So this is the one that there's a fucking
housewarming party connected to it.
Oh wait, so Kevin.
And here, guess what I heard?
The fucking garage is being built.
Okay, hold on, hold on, hold on.
The garage isn't ready for the housewarming.
So you're telling me Kevin is having a wedding this weekend?
Yes.
This weekend?
He's extremely wedding-coded this weekend.
And the garage, the garage he burnt down
because he misunderstood the original meaning
of a housewarming party.
Housewarming party.
So all this time in Pittsburgh wasn't even a wedding?
That was a shower party.
Thank you.
Thank you.
No, no, no.
You're like, you are 100% right to ask that question.
All this time.
The mother fucker has been in Pittsburgh
for I don't know how long.
It couldn't squeeze a wedding into that.
Couldn't squeeze one little wedding,
you're there on weekends I assume.
Gotta fucking bring it back to my house.
Jesus Christ, that was a shower.
Are you guys speaking at this wedding?
Great question. Another great question.
Great fucking question.
You would think, right?
So the answer, we have not been asked.
Okay, seems like.
But I am assuming I'm gonna have to bail this thing out.
Yes.
You're just gonna be ready.
Be ready, truly be ready.
Like, if somebody's got,
I've just gotta basically do the equivalent
of pulling the fire alarm on this thing.
Yes, yes, yes. I gotta get of pulling the fire alarm on this thing.
Yes, yes, yes.
I gotta get it back on the fucking rails, man.
You know what we should do?
We should play fucking Wiki-hole.
We should play Wiki-hole.
At the wedding?
We should play Wiki-hole.
Oh yeah, I am for the wedding.
Get ready, get the Super Bowl half time show buzz going.
So who has done it so far?
Okay, the band Muna.
Okay.
Okay.
Before us, all right.
No, no, no.
I mean, yes, yes, yes.
Okay, so is that why you're asking?
You're asking who's on the list?
No, it's just like, you know, before,
we've literally been doing this for over 10 years.
Yeah.
And it just kind of started.
Oh, yeah.
Two hours ago.
But they were first.
Go off.
Okay, well, I thought of them
because their episode came out today.
Okay. You got your Gabris', your Blair Sockies,
your Adam Pallies.
You got, it's funny.
Okay, can I tell you something?
It's better not look bad on your ass.
It's gonna look really bad.
I've got a lot of room left.
It's gonna look so bad on my ass.
You don't know any of your other guests.
It's almost like when I close my computer,
I forget all about it.
I forget it even existed.
That's what the computer's for.
When I close it, I go,
what have I been doing the last hour?
All done, huh?
Wow.
Okay, I did just record an episode with Eugene Cordero,
Mary Holland, and Brandon Scott Jones,
and we laughed so hard, my stomach my stomach hurt. Legit hurt.
What do you think about that?
Have you ever?
I hope it was from the laughing.
It was.
What if I listened to the episode?
Yeah, what if?
That'd be nice.
I thought I could listen to every episode.
What if I listen to that one and I realize,
like, so House, this is something that House would do.
House would listen to the episode and be like, oh, she actually wasn't laughing that hard. And I was like so House, this is something that House would do. House would listen to the episode and be like,
oh, she actually wasn't laughing that hard.
And I was like, she hurt?
There must be something wrong with her stomach.
She's sick.
Yeah, we would go like, first we would think
you have lupus, would it be lupus?
It's not gonna be lupus.
Then we'd have to go to like a more
more obscure condition.
Oh, my stomach still hurts.
And that was days ago. You're in a very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, evacuate really quickly that I could like, be faster. That I would get out.
But it would just be one person.
I don't have to be, hey look,
like if there's a problem, I don't have to be the fastest one,
I just have to be faster than the third guess.
I'm thinking Justin Theroux.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
I wouldn't want to be in a foxhole with him necessarily.
He's getting out.
Trust him about as far as I can throw it.
Okay, I was just spit balling.
This just in.
No.
Okay.
Let's see, who's your favorite girl?
Okay, it's girl coded.
Let's see.
Oh my God, there was a show called Girl Coded.
Yeah.
Whoa, did you hear that noise?
Yeah.
It was from swallowing water
and if you think I'm gonna apologize,
you got another thing.
What was your fucked up stomach condition
that made it?
It was cause I Your laughing so hard.
No.
Houses hitting the rewind 10 seconds.
Violent gurgles coming out of your midsection.
Actually, no that was actually Sean.
There's no way of, oh yeah I forgot we're on camera.
Fuck.
Yeah.
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.
Yeah you can kinda see it.
Yeah.
You can see my throat go,
wom, wom, wom, wom, wom, wom, wom.
Who else is in the pipeline?
Okay, let me think.
What do we got lined up?
Hopper.
Do you guys want like, I don't know, Minka Kelly?
You've been talking to Minka Kelly?
Minka.
No, we haven't.
We could.
You want to?
Gave her my seat at a UCB show once.
That's nice.
She used to date Jeets.
Who's that?
Oh, Jeter. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, I was thinking of a UCB guy named Jeets. Jeets? There probably was. Jeets, Heinz? Yeah, there's gotta be a Jeets around there.
Yeah.
One of those Heinz.
The third Heinz brother.
Jeets.
Okay, who do we want?
Well, I feel like Nicole Bia would be really fun.
She hasn't done the show yet.
She would be really fun, which is a problem.
Oh yeah.
For obvious reasons.
I don't want to be the only one.
I don't want to be the only one.
I don't want to be the only one.
I don't want to be the only one.
I don't want to be the only one. I don't want to be the only one. I don't want to be the only one. I don't want to be the would be really fun. She hasn't done the show yet.
She would be really fun, which is a problem.
Oh yeah.
I don't wanna be the worst guest on the show.
Thank you.
No, no, no, but she.
In the same way as like I wanna be able
to get out of the room.
Yeah.
Like I also wanna be better.
I also wanna survive while I'm in the room.
Okay, but here's the question.
Comedically.
Thank you.
Comedically, because to you,
it's more about comedically than,
because it's a trivia show.
No, no, I love a drama actor,
someone who's a big star who I can establish myself with them.
Oh, that's great, because it brings people in
because they go like, oh, I wanna hear Anthony Haunty.
And also now I know this person, I'm friends with them.
I use your relationship with them to form my own.
Oh my God, I can see it now.
Kind of like, hey, you would be like,
hey, Anthony asked me about something
but I don't have his number.
Do you mind putting us on a text chain or something?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That is so good.
I feel like, and by the way,
I feel like Anthony Hopkins was an actor before Wikipedia
so we could fucking ask him your stupid question
about how you act without Wikipedia.
Sorry.
Okay.
Sorry. Could. Sorry.
Could we do that on the show?
You could ask him.
Go to Anthony Hopkins Wikipedia page.
Please?
Gotta get it please?
Nope.
And by the way, so you don't,
like this is also, this is so fucking embarrassing.
Working with Kevin.
Like you don't realize that like Wikipedia.
Wikipedia.
Just when we started to all be able to use it,
that doesn't mean it didn't exist
for a certain class of actor before that.
Oh my God, privilege much me?
It's just like you didn't have access to it.
It came out from behind the paywall effectively.
So it speaks.
Sorry, sorry.
Wait, does that look bad on me or is that good on me?
Does that make my ass look bad?
It looks, good on you looks bad on your ass.
Y'all getting a spray tan tonight?
Cause I am.
Okay, so at night.
Yeah, weird, right?
No, I think that is the,
that makes way more sense to do it then.
The night sprayer.
You don't even have,
if it's daytime, it is kind of like go outside,
but at night it's like, well, okay.
Well, no.
No, no, sleep it off, but sleep it on.
Sleep it in.
When the sun goes down, the town becomes tan.
These are the stories of the night sprayer.
Okay, you're making me chuckle, Shawnee.
Hey, get the fuck out of town.
Oh, okay, I thought you wanted to.
Okay, that's who we have to be happy with. She's not sick, I mean like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like,
I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like,
I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like,
I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like,
I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like,
I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like,
I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like,
I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like,
I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like,
I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like,
I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, us. And I just giggle, I just giggle my dumb little. No, people want this energy sometimes.
The first four minutes I think.
And then they want us to be treated like fucking shit.
Yeah.
Has anyone ever died on a podcast?
No.
That would be good or bad for a podcast.
Would it be like Artie Buko's restaurant
where you don't, you try to avoid that happening?
Can you put Artie Buko in the Wikipedia?
Cause I don't know who that is.
You don't know Artie Buko?
He owned Vesuvio. Come Wikipedia? Because I don't know who that is. You don't know Artie Buco? He owned Vesuvio.
Come on, man.
I don't even know.
Tony's getting the clamps there.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, wait.
Oh.
OK, so from The Sopranos?
Yes.
He's a character from The Sopranos?
Yes.
Does he get killed by Tony?
I don't remember.
I think he does.
Certainly not.
He's not happy.
He's sweet, right?
And he has a sweet family.
And he doesn't want to get involved in the mob.
Kind of sweet.
Charmaine has, you know.
She can be a tough cunt.
She fucked Tony before, right?
She did, but she made her choices
and she's happy with him.
And maybe he doesn't want to be involved,
but then he gets involved in it.
She doesn't want him to be involved.
Right, right, right.
She's going, what are you doing?
She won't take the money for the restaurant.
And hopefully these people do you know
what this could lead to.
When was the last time you watched this?
With Artie Buko at all?
Yeah.
When it aired.
Okay, yeah, really?
And you're remembering Artie Buko
and the name of the restaurant?
The Suvio.
30 years later?
35 years later?
Yeah.
What about you, when did you watch it?
Well, you know, I watched the show when it aired
and then I watched one episode for my friend's podcast.
Oh, okay, okay.
Craig Rowland?
We all do these podcasts.
No, I was never invited on his show.
Okay, he should rectify that.
Not once, not an email, not a Not once. Not once. Not once.
Not once.
Not once.
Not once.
Not once.
Not once.
Not once.
Not once.
Not once.
Not once.
Not once.
Not once.
Not once.
Not once.
Not once.
Not once.
Not once.
Not once.
Not once.
Not once.
Not once.
Not once.
Not once.
Not once.
Not once. Not once. Not once. had about sopranos. Belly beans. Love that dude.
As you may or may not know,
Sean and Spellman and I were on a sketch team together.
We were all on a sketch team together.
In the early to late 90s.
Wow. Just kidding.
Just kidding.
Did the three on three tournament as well?
Oh my God, we did.
The three of you were a sketch crew?
No, we were in a sketch, a bigger sketch group,
but the three of us did an improv. Did a three on three. Which I feel like we did, I feel like we did well. I thought we did a sketch crew. No, we were in a sketch, a bigger sketch group, but the three of us did an improv.
Did a three on three.
Which I feel like we did, I feel like we did well.
I thought we did a great job.
Okay, that means we didn't win.
We lost on the boats, yeah.
I feel like we did a great job.
That's really funny.
Yeah, we killed.
Look it up on Wikipedia.
Yeah, exactly.
Let's see, yeah.
I dare you.
I just sort of wonder,
because the thing about having Anthony Hopkins on,
he's of advanced age.
Okay. He's going to be dead very soon. Oh. Is. Because the thing about having Anthony Hopkins on, he's of advanced age.
He's going to be dead very soon.
It's not a great contact for us.
Oh, right.
Well, that's my concern until I start thinking,
am I gonna be on the first episode where someone dies?
And I'll be prepared.
Right.
What are you gonna do?
To be a hero in this situation.
Okay, this is interesting.
Jesse David Fox style?
Start blasting his belly button like Jesse David Fox.
You'll know exactly what to do.
I mean, he will die.
Part of the premise is that he does end up dying.
The premise of his life?
But the foot is-
But here's what I'm concerned about.
Does he have to-
The premise of life at all is that we die.
Does he have to die in the first four minutes
for it to really be a really hit?
Oh yeah, people won't stick around for it.
I'm gonna tell you something
that obviously will look bad on my ass,
but we could edit it so that it is in the first four minutes.
But I don't know if we want that.
Hey, let's record this now.
Yeah, okay, go ahead.
Then if I stick around and do a lot of funny stuff
later in the episode after he's dead,
I feel like that maybe doesn't reflect a lot of me.
So here's how we do it.
The first four minutes is you recording
some version of like, hey guys.
Yes.
After the fact.
So obviously it's out in the world now
what happens in this episode.
And it was really, I cannot listen to it.
It's a really traumatic event to participate in.
But I know that Tony would want this episode
to be out there.
Yes.
Winning awards.
This is like, he said before the show
that it was his favorite show.
And then if I released it, it would not look bad on my ass.
He called it my Howard's end. But he gave me his blessing.
I think he knew it was coming for a while.
It's honestly, it was a gift.
It was a gift.
He knew it.
It would mean so much if you're a fan of him.
It would mean so much to him.
Are you checking on Howard's end?
The silence of the hams.
Oh nice, nice, nice, nice.
Okay, let's keep going.
Let's keep going.
We're gonna do all of them.
Let's see, let's do them.
Come on, pull them up faster, Kevin, thank you.
Notable films.
The lingered kidnapping case.
We're not getting anything.
Amistad.
I mean, you could just call it the two popes.
Okay.
Okay.
Kevin, come on.
It's probably a separate page.
His filmography is a separate page.
It has to be.
Yeah, Kevin's like, kind of like me.
He's more of an MC.
Oh my God, go to the bottom.
Oh, wow.
He's going to IMDB, I believe.
Oh, he spelled it in, Thoony.
Yeah.
Thoony.
List of performances.
Oh, okay, okay.
So I'm seeing the bounty, obviously.
Film.
And go ahead and make that font bigger.
Yeah, make it too small for me.
The bounty will be the booty.
The bounty will be the booty.
No, yeah, that's easy.
The doll's house is obviously gonna be.
The white bus is the white bus.
Yes.
Hand Stoker's, Dracula.
Wait, you know that there's other words for butt than ham?
Not necessarily.
According to this filmography, not really.
Sports wood, spots wood.
We'll be probably like, wait, let's see.
Spots.
Okay, keep going.
Okay, hold on.
Oh, you already did that one, shit.
Chaplin, probably Claplin.
Shadowlands, probably Shadowhams.
Yeah.
Shadow, the road to Wellville probably.
I mean, no one else is pitching other words.
I said Claplin.
Surviving Picasso, that could be surviving big assos.
Sorry, Meet Joe Black is probably Meet Joe Back.
Meet Joe Crack. Oh, Crack, of course. All right. surviving big ass holes. Meat show black is probably meat show back. Meat show crack.
Oh crack of course.
The human stain will just stay that.
But Hammond's dead.
Proof is gonna be ham.
Hannibal is ham-able.
Alexander will probably be like Hamilton.
Right, yeah.
That's probably who it was about.
Yeah for sure.
There's no way of knowing.
Crack sure, which we already knew, yeah.
Thor's gonna be.
Beowulf is booty wolf.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Solace will be Sol ass.
Yeah, oh yeah.
Blackway's gonna be Crack way.
Red too is red cheeks.
Thor, Ragnar, Crack.
Yeah. Two popes, we already got that one.
Yeah, it's just the two popes.
Yeah.
Armageddon time.
Armageddon time.
Rebel moon can stay as is.
Oh my god, Rebel moon is great.
Armageddon time is probably Armageddon ready
to pull my pants down and show you this big hand back here.
Yeah.
No, that's for sure what it is.
Yeah.
Yeah. Okay, so we did a bunch of those. I'm not even sure what you're talking about. I'm not even sure what you're talking about. I'm not even sure what you're talking about. I'm not even sure what you're talking about. I'm not even sure what you're talking about.
I'm not even sure what you're talking about.
I'm not even sure what you're talking about.
I'm not even sure what you're talking about.
I'm not even sure what you're talking about.
I'm not even sure what you're talking about.
I'm not even sure what you're talking about.
I'm not even sure what you're talking about.
I'm not even sure what you're talking about.
I'm not even sure what you're talking about.
I'm not even sure what you're talking about.
I'm not even sure what you're talking about.
I'm not even sure what you're talking about.
I'm not even sure what you're talking about.
I'm not even sure what you're talking about.
I'm not even sure what you're talking about.
I'm not even sure what you're talking about.
I'm not even sure what you're talking about.
I'm not even sure what you're talking about.
I'm not even sure what you're talking about.
I'm not even sure what you're talking about.
I'm not even sure what you're talking about.
I'm not even sure what you're talking about.
I'm not even sure what you're talking about.
I'm not even sure what you're talking about. I'm not even sure what you're talking about. I'm not even sure what you're talking about. I'm not even sure what you're talking about. I'm not David, Buns, Fox. But I guess the halftime show will be me,
Hayes and Anthony Hopkins.
Jesse, David, zero, Fox, given.
Zero.
Zero.
So for the Super Bowl halftime show.
It'll be the two of us, Anthony Hopkins,
he will die, Hayes will perform life-saving CPR.
When we cut to the Super Bowl halftime show
is when you have to do your like,
hey guys, because we need that to be the hook
before Sean can be funny at the beginning of it
while everyone's watching.
I'd like to be cracking jokes,
making Anthony Hopkins laugh.
But everyone knows that Anthony Hopkins is gonna die.
In his last moments, he was actually really happy
because Sean was like cracking wise, getting some big yucks off. Now is he gonna know that he's probably gonna die. In his last moment, he was actually really happy because Sean was like cracking wise, you know, getting some like big yucks off.
Now is he gonna know that he's probably gonna die
during this episode or is he basically finding out
from this little speech that you're doing?
Oh, you think he's watching?
Oh, that's interesting.
Is he watching?
Like he's right there, he's sitting at the same table.
Oh, interesting.
Well, we have to fear the blocking
and the lighting cues and stuff.
Okay, because we know that he's gonna die.
Does he know he's gonna die? Well, I don't know why people are interested in the episode otherwise. No offense to the lighting. Okay, because we know that he's gonna die. Does he know he's gonna die?
I don't know why people are interested in the episode
otherwise, no offense to the show.
That's okay.
But it's like us two as guests.
It could be a good story if you did the whole introduction
saying that this is the episode where Anthony Hopkins dies
but you decided to do it as a Super Bowl halftime show
anyway, what an amazing ending if he actually ended up
not dying in the episode.
Okay, so me doing the preamble is a guess, right?
Or is it based in truth?
Is it based in knowledge?
It's a guess.
It's we think.
I'm just worried.
I feel like I have to have all the answers right now.
Do you feel like we're doing so much heavy lifting
in terms of figuring out this halftime show
and killing all the Hopkins?
Why?
Yeah.
I would actually love to know why this just happened.
Why Kevin slept in the room in the middle of the episode.
Ask for it.
You know why it happened?
Because I asked for it.
I asked for it in an email.
You ask for what you want in an email.
And I wanted it, I didn't want it later, I wanted it now.
Because if I got it later, I'd never get it.
You know what I mean?
That's true, yeah.
Kevin's got a way of putting things off, see his garage.
How do we feel like it looks?
Oh my gosh.
It looks really, really bad on your eyes.
Bad.
It's...
Zero contact would probably be Jesse David, I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure.
I'm not sure.
I'm not sure.
I'm not sure.
I'm not sure.
I'm not sure.
I'm not sure.
I'm not sure.
I'm not sure.
I'm not sure.
I'm not sure.
I'm not sure.
I'm not sure.
I'm not sure.
I'm not sure.
I'm not sure.
I'm not sure.
I'm not sure.
I'm not sure.
I'm not sure.
I'm not sure.
I'm not sure.
I'm not sure.
I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. fuck up, okay? I'm a little monster one person
We just have to someone has to talk before that and be like during commercial break
Okay, everyone needs to shut the fuck just the people in the office. I mean
Just the people in the state this is I mean it's work. It's work. It is we're all at work
It's a football players off. That's a great way to phrase it.
Hey guys, we're at fucking work right now.
I am at work.
This is my job.
You have come to see me at my job.
This is my place of work.
This is a career for me.
So please be respectful.
And then the light goes up.
Okay, one spotlight on me.
Hey America.
We actually are allowing a couple other countries
to watch the game this year.
And it is being broadcasted on there.
How about just like a simple, hey everybody.
I'm not gonna say the other places.
All the other countries?
Yeah.
Ssup.
Okay.
What?
Ssup.
Oh okay, I thought you were like Saudi Arabia. Sup.
No, I would, yeah, I mean, I know.
No.
So it'd be kind of like sup, sup everybody.
Just to lighten it a little bit.
Yeah, but let's get the tone exactly right,
because you are about to say,
I do think you should say sup everybody,
but in a way that is under the gravity of the situation.
Oh I forgot about the whole fucking thing.
Okay great.
Sup everybody what's goody good, but in a way that.
Okay, great.
Okay so, blackout, you hear the spotlight.
Foomp foomp.
What's up everybody. There's go foomp foomp. Yeah don't you hear the spotlight. Fwoomp. What's up, everybody?
Oh, yeah, don't you think that's?
What's up, it's sup, everybody, what's goody good?
And then I think to let them know there's a delay
is like we are about to get popping in the second here.
Okay.
Okay.
But first.
But first, okay, so blackout.
Fwoomp. It's the. Okay. But first. But first, okay, so. Yeah. Blackout. Fwoomp.
It's the.
Okay. Okay.
Sup, everybody.
What's goody good?
We are about to get poppin' in a second here,
but I just have to tell you guys,
this is about to be a really special
and intense episode of Wiki Hole.
Wiki Hole.
Plonk.
We have three of my best friends,
like always three of my best friends on the episode.
You got your hazy boy, you got Shawnee Bonnie,
and you got Tony Soprano Hopkins.
and you got Tony Soprano Hopkins.
And unfortunately, this is a different kind
of wiki hole tonight.
It's exactly six feet deep, this particular wiki hole. Oh my God.
That a great man is buried inside it.
Yeah, that's great, that's great.
So we hope you enjoy this wiki hole.
In his name, we pray or whatever.
We throw his name up.
We throw his name up.
Not everybody.
Praise, right.
Yeah, not everybody.
So maybe more like, in his name. In his name we name up. Not everybody, yeah. Praise, right. Yeah, so maybe more like, in his name.
In his name we throw up.
We throw up.
We throw up.
We throw up, and then you hear a little brrrr
from my throat.
And get ready for this.
And he's sitting right there
and he's kind of wearing this for the first time.
He's kind of like, what the heck?
So he'll be like, all right.
All right, must be talking about someone else.
Seems like I'm going to be passing away.
My tummy was hurting earlier this morning,
but just thought it was from all the laughing.
I thought I was nervous.
Okay, great.
And then it goes, wiki-hole, wiki-hole, or whatever.
That's what the theme song is?
It's kind of like, wiki-hole. Yeah, that's my niece Clover. I whatever. That's what the theme song is? It's kind of like, wicky hole.
Yeah, that's my niece Clover.
I figure.
That's my niece Clover.
Yeah.
If you really care.
Is that the one who I met?
All I do is care.
Yeah, you met her.
That was the same one?
The baby?
Yeah.
Yeah, I think so.
No.
When did you?
Oh, did you meet a baby baby?
At the show.
Wait, oh, that was Georgia.
Jesus Christ, you got enough nieces.
I have so many nieces.
She's so odd coded.
Georgia, I'm sorry for being so odd coded.
Nieces Christ.
Georgia, wait, guess what?
Guess what?
After seeing that show,
brought my niece Georgia back to meet the cast,
so to speak, and Georgia, who is funny as hell, said, I learned some new words tonight.
And she said, pussy.
Wow.
10 years old.
But you before the show.
Cut that out, no, keep it in.
No. Put echoes behind it.
But cut this out.
So if Jazzy David Fox wrote an article
about that standup show,
he'd be called messy shaven box.
How'd you do that?
Bye.
Whoa.
Hollywood handbook.
That was a hate gum podcast.