Hollywood Handbook - Jeremy Levick and Rajat Suresh, Our Diss Track Friends
Episode Date: May 15, 2024The Boys welcome back JEREMY LEVICK and RAJAT SURESH to discuss the rules for their diss track. Get a Hat Pack Hat here!Watch the video of today’s episode at Patreon.com/TheFlagrantOne...s. Like the show? Rate Hollywood Handbook 5-Stars on Apple PodcastsAdvertise on Hollywood Handbook via Gumball.fm See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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This is a HeadGum Podcast.
It's nice to lay it all on the table for me and just say like, we've been watching what
you're doing.
I know you've had your eye on us. And I think some of the early stuff we saw from you guys
was lights out.
Like, uh-oh, the new models are in.
And had me sweating bullets.
Yes, nice.
You know? Yes.
And it's, and-
I'm feeling-
Whether or not that has continued to be the trajectory
is not like even...
For sure, and that means...
The issue here, because there's so much content
and there's so much shit out there.
I'm not scared in that same way anymore,
and I don't know if it's like, I'm just like kind of more...
Did I get comfortable with the feeling?
That must be what it is.
Grown a little bit, a little more mature.
That's great.
I'm not sure.
I don't know, because we have other stuff going on,
obviously, and I think probably there was a point
where you guys must have been looking like,
am I gonna be able to sit down with the big cats
at the table? For sure.
And now it's like, and we're here, and we're comfortable,
and of course, because you've earned your seat on the couch.
Oh sure.
Thank you.
You know and we've been on the couch.
We've been here.
But you must have been wondering is like.
My ass groove is carved into the cushion.
Totally.
But you must have been saying like.
My god damn butt cheeks.
Are we gonna be the ones like.
To knock them off the couch.
Knock them off the couch and be like oh.
We're like. I would say oh, we're scheduled so far.
And if we're all booked up right now.
Well, I would say for us, we're just like,
we don't want to get too attached to the couch because we're always up and about.
Yeah, we're kind of doing a lot of.
I don't know.
And I know they do.
I think it's great.
Well, I think it's great.
Well, what do you mean?
But also, I know I do get it.
Yeah. I mean, it is really nice coming from you guys to we love your early shit. Yeah
I mean that stuff I grew up on that. Yeah, the reality TV podcast
Oh my god, are you still doing the jay johnson episode some parts? Yeah, yeah, that shit was awesome
He came back recently and that's the one you're talking about is the one that he did
Well, he has his own thing.
Like five or six months ago.
He's got, he's trying to do a show too.
He's trying to do one.
So he's just trying to promote his own show.
He has his own thing, yeah.
He's trying, yeah.
Yeah, Jake Johnson has his own thing, yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, I'd say so.
Anyway, I'm glad that you guys
really nice compliments earlier. No, that's nice. Thank you. Yeah, and we're so. Anyway, I'm glad your guys were really nice compliments
earlier, thank you.
No, that's nice, yeah, and we're like doing other shit.
Really nice compliments.
Yeah.
You mean really nice compliments about earlier?
Yeah.
Yes, okay.
Yes.
The compliments were about earlier.
Yeah, about earlier.
About earlier.
Yes, okay, got it.
And it's like, and I also love,
because sometimes people will, you know,
burn white hot like that.
And then they will just stop, they'll be paralyzed
and they'll stop putting stuff out.
That's not the issue that I've seen with you guys.
You know, that's not like,
it's not that there hasn't been anything.
There is no issue, mainly, is what you're saying?
Well, I think what I don't want to do is look at this as a problem
for any. Great. I'm not looking at it that way. I don't want to look at it as a problem. We
haven't thought about it that way at all. What I'd love to do as a producer is see it as an
opportunity. You're a producer? Are you a producer? I just didn't know that. I have absolutely been in production meetings.
That's cool.
Oh, nice.
Because I saw that you have a couple lines
in the Rob Lowe show, so that's cool.
Yeah, that's congrats.
But to me, that's more of a-
They're spread out across multiple episodes.
Okay.
Nice, that is very cool.
It's not like I have a couple lines in one episode.
Right.
I mean, it is like that.
It's a couple lines in two.
Okay.
In two episodes.
That's a handful of lines.
That's amazing.
Okay.
Congratulations.
Congrats, but to me that's not more,
that's not like a producer.
And you saw that from watching it,
so I just wanna make clear,
like you saw it from like me.
Right, and like an Instagram.
Watching an Instagram story that Sean posted, yeah.
Yeah.
Right, well that is watching the show. You're watching the show. So you're watching the show, yeah, right well that is
Watching the shit you're watching watching the show. It's like that is the show story is the story
Well, there's like an algorithm on Instagram that takes out anything on TV, so it must have yeah You really can't watch TV on Instagram. Yeah
You guys trust me try to trust me. Try to watch TV. You cannot watch TV on Instagram.
Trust me.
This is even worse than I thought.
You guys can't even just buy a TV.
You have to go on Instagram and be like,
oh, I hope I get to watch TV today.
Well, I mean, there's cool things happening on Instagram.
Like, I mean, Sean is posting about his lines
that he's having.
Boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop.
This is them.
Boop, boop, boop. Ohop, boop, boop. This is them. Boop, boop, boop.
Oh, come on.
Booting up the Instagram machine.
Come on.
Please let me watch TV on this today.
You did that.
And you said you did it.
That's not me.
You said you did it.
I didn't, we didn't do that.
No.
You said you did it.
And you actually did just tell us that happened.
How much longer are you guys here?
Like what's your schedule?
What's the timeline in terms of like being on our coast? Just tell us that happened. How much longer are you guys here? Like what's your schedule?
What's the timeline in terms of like being on our coast?
I leave tomorrow.
Okay.
Yeah, I leave Thursday.
Okay.
That's fast.
Yeah.
Why?
In terms of scheduling stuff,
just like laying out like a plan for-
Are you trying to produce something for us?
Usually people, I guess they like come on this show
and they leave like some possibility of like
where it could go from there.
Okay.
Right, right, right.
My apologies, yeah.
Just like, they could.
Like we could work on something.
Basically like, and we've had guests where like
it just kind of like extends through the weekend
and like kind of a.
Oh, I just become this.
Hey, what do you guys wanna do after this?
You hang out with a lot of your guests?
I don't even know if it's hanging out.
It just becomes this extended sort of,
I mean, I'd like to call it a relationship.
Well, it lasts throughout the entire weekend,
even on a day like today, which is a Tuesday record.
You hung out with Please Don't Destroy after?
They, yeah, I mean.
They seemed really busy. Yeah, they were
definitely outside after.
Yes. They had a car.
They were out. For them.
So you just, you asked when we leave
because you were wondering if you could hang out
with us outside.
I didn't wanna necessarily limit it to just that.
But we have.
Do you not want to go outside?
I don't know what you're saying.
You think it's bad to be outside?
I just like.
No, no, I'm happy to go outside.
Let me close the door.
This is them.
Let me close the door.
No.
He's like a whompere.
He is standing here.
That's not it.
He's acting like a whompere.
No.
He is. He is. He a wampir. No. He is, he is the wampir.
If you guys wanna hang out outside.
He does not like garlic.
No, I'm not a wimp, I'm not that.
Please no garlic.
He doesn't even wanna say it.
No, I don't.
He won't.
Because they can't say it.
He's not, he's not.
They can't say it to you, that's how I know he is.
It's in the contract.
We shouldn't have invited him in. No, but if you guys wanna hang out outside after this, that's how I know he is. It's in the contract. We shouldn't have invited him in.
No, but if you guys wanna hang out outside after this,
that's, yeah, let's do that.
That would be really meaningful.
That sounds great.
Is there something else you wanted to do?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I just think that as we all.
There has to be something else.
Doesn't have to be.
No, no.
We could just stay on this the whole time.
We could just be outside. There does happen to be something else, but it's not like we have to be. No, no. We could just stay on this the whole time. Dude. But there does happen to be something else,
but it's not like we have to have something else
like we wanna do.
You know, I may as well be Joe Swamberg's
Netflix series because I'm easy.
I'm that easy.
And I might as well be this button from Staples.
Yeah. Oh, because you that easy. And I might as well be this button from Staples. Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Because he's easy.
You resemble Joe Swanberg a little bit.
Have you been told that before?
No, I haven't and I've been trying to avoid hearing it.
I'm really sorry.
I didn't want anyone to say it.
Okay.
Kevin, edit that out.
Why, because of the Jake Johnson connection?
What's the connection?
You know how the show,
he's a guest on the show, we have a relationship.
Okay.
You know, he's got his own thing,
he's got a few of them.
Remember the show The Swan?
No.
You don't know The Swan?
No.
The Swan was about people getting
like major reconstructive surgery.
About surgery.
Oh, right.
To not look like Joe Swanberg anymore.
Yeah.
And that's why they called it that.
And Sean, did you have a?
Massive budget.
No, I've been, if they revived the show.
I like his movies oddly.
I would go, I would go in.
They could make a new series called The Sean.
The Swann.
And it could be about The Swann.
And it could be about making you not look like Joe Swanberg but we'll edit all this out.
Just cut it because I don't want to have this conversation on the mic.
So people like to be friends with Kevin now.
People be friends with Kevin.
People be friends with Kevin so they can like get in the edit afterwards. Oh yeah that's smart friends with Kevin. People be friends with Kevin so they can get in the edit afterwards.
Oh yeah, that's smart.
Thanks Kevin.
But they think there's more happening there than there is.
Yes.
When is the Harry's ad coming up on this?
Which?
What is the, like what time?
That's a Kevin question too.
It's a Kevin question.
We don't do brings anymore.
Well we'll get in that.
Kevin finds just the choicest bad location.
Okay.
It feels like a comedy sort of momentum is building
to any part of the banter.
Okay.
Where it's like, where there's like a comedic build
taking place.
He's able to kind of put a lid on it. Nice.
So that it doesn't make anyone like erupt
with a sort of laugh type of thing.
And then there's a nice nine minute ad break
and then you get the conclusion of the idea.
And he makes the ads long.
He makes the ad, he slows them down.
The whole time we're doing the ad,
we're trying to get into the copies
like more of your like bullshit.
That is, yeah.
Wow.
It's really actually devastating to our listenership
and which I guess is his goal.
But you know, all of that is correctable,
I think if we pull this off.
Totally.
What we're trying to do.
Oh my God, yeah.
So, you know, I think that it's fair to say
the buzz has died down on this.
Yeah.
No.
We were in a show.
We were just in a show with our swatches of that.
I know.
And I also think that, um, we try to be generous with our platform and what could
be good because I noticed sometimes when I see it to be like, to respond to.
Well, and didn't you like that way?
I was, you like, asked me to, be on a table read like on Friday.
And you didn't even bring up that you were in a show.
They brought it up.
Yeah, so they're keeping track of what show I'm in.
And what show they're in.
It's not that much to keep track of.
Both shows.
Just a couple lines over the series.
It's crazy.
Wait, and didn't you ask me to be on a table read
like last Friday?
Oh, yes.
Actually, I do remember that was,
I asked you right before you fumbled the bag.
Well, it seems like what happened was you texted Rajat,
by the way, thank you for the invite.
Immediately before you fumbled the bag.
You think Rajat was my idea?
You think that was my ass that came from me?
I've gotta get Raj Raja this is me on
the phone in the meeting well who did ask for me what's his name you know I
don't know everybody's name everybody who asked for everybody all the time I'm
like like what just like what what says just say the last thing you can say that
it's in my emails I have like all these emails say the last thing you can say that it's in my emails. I have like all these emails
Last name is probably sir ash. I
Mean it's a pretty safe bet someone who's like
It sounds like the text you sent to Raja was just are you free at this time
Yeah, I said no and you know it wasn't really about it wasn't I heard later after the fact what it was
Uh-huh. Yeah, and I bet Raja would have made time for I would have known and that's the problem
So I was actually a testament to how much the buzz has died down you were gonna cancel whatever
You were doing now. I know I know I mean for the chance
I mean the Malaney show sit down and talk there was so much fucking shit
It was fucking electric fucking insane was insane like SNL like you guys it was fucking crazy
Did you see you guys know there was a fucking robot right the energy was fucking bananas? It was in like
It broke basically every rule
I've ever learned about television.
Well, you know that it was shambolic.
Yeah, it was just shambolic.
It was.
It was Malini's shambolic pop-up talk show.
Incredibly shambolic.
You guys do know that, right?
Well, and the crazy thing is,
they started out going, let's break all the rules,
and they ended up being like, I think we solved it.
Like, I think they may have solved, you know,
how to do this thing. And it was perfect for me, ended up being like, I think we solved it. Like I think they may have solved, you know,
how to do this thing.
And it was perfect for me,
cause I'm a shambaholic.
I cannot get enough.
You go to shambaholic's anonymous.
Yes. Yeah.
Basically, yes.
Yeah. It was fucking crazy though.
I've never met a shamball I didn't like.
They basically, they basically did that.
And they just did that.
And grandma was there.
Right?
Yeah.
Dude, I couldn't believe how long some of the stuff went.
Yeah.
I mean, like when you have those people like just riffing, like those are some of the greatest
minds just on that fucking couch.
Some of it I thought there's no way this is going to be this long.
Totally.
George Wallace.
A lesser producer, and I say this as someone with some production experience, would have made parts of it shorter that ended up being actually
really let you soak in them. Yeah, totally. That would have ruined the show. So you were on a
show yeah that you were also writing on yeah and so you're done basically and so
like you but you did show up here anyway are we gonna keep it going I mean it what I don't know if you
guys saw but it was a TV miracle everyone's talking I heard we do not know
we saw at this point how do we not how do I not yeah how do you not know
because you just said I don't know if you saw and we just described like so
well details I'm just curious how you don't know if you saw, and we just described so many details.
I'm just curious how you don't know.
Well, it was a Vulture article
about how it was a TV miracle.
And then it might, and they kinda thought,
and I don't know if you're allowed to say.
The show's a Vulture article.
We might keep this thing going.
I mean, I don't know.
What do you think, fam?
So vote in the comments on whether Jeremy and Rougeant
should keep this thing going.
We don't really have that sort of power.
This puppy, this bad boy.
You can say something if you want in the comments,
but it doesn't really, it's not gonna matter.
Vote in the comments.
Okay.
So you being on the show, which you've establishedlished you were my throat is not it not important to whether or not the show
Continues well, I feel like it probably I thought you were like one of the part of the show that you know Ted
Sarandos he apparently was cracking the fuck up at he loves to laugh
You know he was cracking the fuck up. I'm a when he was if you were there doing yeah, I like no one. Yeah, he was losing his fucking mind
Yeah, he became Ted Saran trace
That is that is what happened that's actually exactly how laughing so much
It's not like a logic it doesn't make sense, but I know but that's
We're still looking into how that happened.
Yeah.
I already became Ted Saran Wrap.
And that is also unclear, like what.
It's a Saran Wrap.
How that is a Ted Saran Wrap.
Well, the comedy was so damn fresh.
Right.
And he intends to keep it that way.
Yeah.
He intends to keep it that way. Yeah.
He intends to keep it that way.
This is why I'm saying we need to kind of combine
because that's some of the best shit I've heard from you.
This is a fucking electric.
And it just built organically.
This is kind of like the show.
A said something, I said something.
Ted?
Jeremy then said something funny.
This is Shambolic in its own way.
Riddinaught was here. Ted Sarandos. Uh-uh. Ted? Jeremy then said something funny. This is Shambolic in its own way. Riddant was here.
Ted Sarandos.
Uh-uh.
Ted too.
Oh.
Ted too.
This is crazy.
Who called it Ted Sarandos and not Ted too?
What idiot called it Ted Sarandos instead of Ted too?
Oh, yes.
That's really good.
Whoa.
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Well, we're talking about Harry's and it's clean Harry is, uh,
is here with us again today.
Sort of.
Well, I was gonna-
Punk.
It has been a minute since we've caught up
and it sounds like you have some things that are-
It's just not going good.
My mind's just on other stuff, punk.
It's often, when we talk about you,
you're bringing in a lot of things from the outside, from,
from your life. It's, there's, there's always seems like there's a lot going on.
Well, okay. You know how, um, cats can give you like a sort of disease that makes you
like cats. Yes. Yeah. I have it.
Punk.
You have the disease that comes from their,
like their litter.
Do you have cats?
I will soon now because of this. So you don't have cats.
No, but I'm clean hairy, so I'm always cleaning things up.
So anytime I go to someone's house with cats, I'm like, well, I'll clean that up.
You scoop the cat litter.
I get way in there, you know, to clean.
And so you did that from cleaning the cat litter
at your friend's house.
So you're going and seeing your friends.
Well, and I would go and take a big whiff after
to be like, did I do a good enough scoop
that there's no scent left?
Okay.
And I think I just, guess I inhaled the cat disease. Okay. That like
makes your brain like want to have more
cats. It's called toxoplasmosis. And so
you know that you have this and. Gesundheit.
That doesn't sound like a sneeze at all.
That sounded like a sneeze to you. Bunk.
That's what a, that's what a sneeze
sounds like. I'm just trying to bring some
lightness to what has been a very heavy week for me.
I just found out I have toxoplasmosis for goodness sake.
Cause I'm like, bonk.
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Well, actually six to start, but if I get seven, I'll probably get eight cause
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Which other ones?
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Hollywood ham.
We need to do
where you guys have a little,
like you're Jeremy and Rajat, we're Hayes and Sean.
Yeah. Right?
And that's increasingly something that people are like,
they're those guys, they're these guys.
They've been noticing and there've been little Easter eggs
I think scattered through a lot of what we've done
to kind of reaffirm those beliefs.
Yeah.
And they are doing the same stuff and they hung out.
But like what like.
You're really close to the mic.
But what, well my head felt like.
Are you yelling?
He's not yelling.
He's getting into the meat of the premise for the episode. Okay. I'm really glad I'm not wearing
And it's actually a really powerful
Moment for all of us and you're also really big opportunity. Yeah, you're yelling now really close to your mic
Kevin has my hands into off mode know it and so I have to be
Like it just to sound just to know that I am here. Okay. I have to be, just to know that I am here,
I have to be going really crazy.
Sure.
Okay.
Jesus.
And so what comes after that?
There are those guys and these are these guys.
Okay, so two sets of guys.
Hmm.
Natural conflict.
Could that be like these other guys?
Right?
Who for a long time, so you, so did you hear this?
Do you know about this?
I don't know yet.
I don't know.
The one guy said, have you seen this?
Leno.
Jason Leno.
Good.
Jason?
Jason Leno.
Nice.
The two-edged show with Jason Leno.
You think his name is Jason?
No, sure.
That.
Oh, were you saying Hayes?
Hayes, go ahead.
Did you see?
Have you seen what's happening?
The guy said.
There's other guys not this similar from us with the same kind of history of like
circling one another, collaborating at times, but also competing.
And they wanted to be friends.
Some of them wanted to be friends.
And then one said,
you only wanna be friends with me.
Right.
You only wanna be friends with me.
And he's singing and the other one said I actually never wanted I only I only I
only said I wanted to be friends. Exactly and he's and he's singing. Yes. Rapping. Yes. And so then like another guy came in and started to talk about it.
And everyone, everyone heard.
Everyone's talking about it now.
Like he's talking about it.
He heard this.
He said this.
And like, what's happening now is there's so much attention on all of it.
And while it feels like it became famous, it feels like there's animosity.
And yet business is very good.
Yes.
Did you really not hear about any of this?
Like, you don't know about any of the fighting and the.
No, this is, this is like a news story.
Currently happening.
Yeah. This is the one of the most famous things. No. This is like a news story. What's currently happening.
Yeah.
This is the news today.
Literally today the news said,
these guys are singing at each other
and a lot of them are mad.
Or are they?
Because what we know is the charts, yeah,
the money who charted, these guys.
And it does seem like there's an opportunity here for all of us with some ground rules
to start taking some shots across the bow at one another
and getting our fans riled up, forcing people to take sides.
Oh, that's good.
And whoops, accidentally landing in Mula.
I think we could, let's have that conversation. Let's have that's good. And Loops accidentally landing in Moolah. I think we could, let's have that conversation.
Let's have that conversation now.
We should say like, you fucked Millie Bobby Brown.
Before we get into this.
Well, hang on.
In terms of what we are going to discuss.
We could say that.
Let's talk about what some of the ground rules are.
Because I do think we shouldn't just be swinging wild.
You don't want that us to be like,
no, actually you fucked her.
Oh, yeah.
What if we like.
I wouldn't want to.
Yeah, yeah.
I didn't think about it if it's turned out that way.
I didn't think about that at all.
What if I said that you guys were the ones having sex?
So I think that like, we do wanna obviously
be able to do things that cut deep but within limits.
I would say. Like you have a secret kid or something.
You have a secret kid.
You have a secret kid.
Yeah, that's not bad.
Like that, yeah, that to me is like,
you could definitely say that to me.
I mean, again, that says I am having even more sex
than with that one person.
That the sex is resulting in kids.
But you would die with a kid, maybe.
Which means my boys can swim.
Did I have sex with a kid or did I have one?
Do you even know what you're talking about?
It could be like you had a secret kid that you adopted.
And it's your girlfriend.
Yeah.
OK.
I mean, what we're proving here is.
So I have another girlfriend now.
So I'm just absolutely drowning in it at this point
It's like girlfriends. So then I have the most girlfriends. It's like oh, maybe you know, I'd say
Oh you think that because you don't have any girlfriends now. You're in a bad position
And also what you're proving with all these secret kids is our boys can swim
What if we say like you have like our boys is like Michael Pelps.
Okay.
That's awesome.
I'm Ryan Loki.
Totally.
I'm Ryan Loki, goated with the swim sauce.
So, it's pretty easy.
That's what we call it.
We call it swim sauce.
Swim sauce.
Because everyone's gonna swim like Michael Pelps.
They're swimming like Michael Pelps.
Michael Pelps. And eating just as big a lunch.
He had that big lunch.
Oh, right.
Remember the size of his lunch.
Well, this is my lunch.
Yeah.
He was always saying that.
Michael, can you bring your entire lunch to the studio?
Sure, yeah.
Do you have any extra table?
Because the lunch is enormous.
You might need a forklift as well,
which is what I do about 10 billion times a day
with my big lunch, forklift.
Well, he's a gold medal winner, so maybe just.
Yeah, gold medal, the flower brand,
in terms of how much lunch he has to eat.
Needs it to bake his whole lunch,
uses two bags for every lunch.
There's a line.
He bakes his own lunch?
He basically has no other choice.
Yeah, somebody better, because nobody else
would have enough energy, he's an Olympic athlete.
The point that I wanna make is we are going to wanna
be friends again at the end of it.
I mean, the end goal should be that we reunite
for a big All of us concert or whatever it is
that we can figure out to do.
Concert.
Big feast.
And that, and then even more if he gets like,
they're gonna share the stage after what they said.
The singer.
Vice.
It's pronounced feast.
It is pronounced feast, yeah.
All right.
Okay.
One, two, three, four. So I think that,
I think that what I'm okay with,
obviously you've been in this area already,
obviously yes, you can say that I don't take care
of my family.
That I do not care for them.
Alright.
I don't want anything gross.
Like don't say that I talk with my mouth full.
Okay.
Yeah. Please, because I don't want people to think of me as gross. No that's fair. And people don't want anything gross. Like don't say that I talk with my mouth full. Okay.
Please, because I don't want people to think of me as gross.
No, that's fair.
And people don't want to listen to a song
about like gross stuff.
Yeah, it's just not gonna move me.
No food stuff.
I know we were talking about the big lunch and all that.
Yeah.
But that is gross.
You don't want that, but you're fine about family stuff.
Family stuff is okay.
Say I don't take care of my family,
that they don't love me.
Yeah. But don't say like family, that they don't love me.
But don't say like,
the Jewish mouth open.
Okay. Yeah, that,
whatever, that my wife cheats on me,
that no one respects me,
that my kids wish they had a different dad,
like that's okay.
The food stuff seems kinda yucky.
That my dating is like racially wrong in some way.
Racially wrong?
Yeah, that's- You're fine with that. That stuff is okay, the food stuff seems kind of yucky. That my dating is like racially wrong in some way. Racially wrong? Yeah, that's.
You're fine with that.
That stuff is okay.
The food stuff. Yeah.
Don't say I eat my popsicle with a knife and fork.
Yeah, that's something.
And that is something that's true?
Just don't talk about my popsicle.
You eat your popsicles with a knife and fork.
Don't bring it up.
Don't talk about my popsicle at all.
And don't say that I'm wearing driving gloves
when I'm cutting it up with a knife and fork.
Okay.
I just.
I feel like you're saying this into the mic already.
We might as like. Yeah, so that it's on record what the rules are for those. Okay, okay, gotcha. And so it just makes it seem like. I feel like you're saying this into the mic already. We might as like.
Yeah, so that it's on record what the rules are.
Okay, okay, gotcha.
And so everyone can hear and be like,
hey, they actually said not to talk about that.
I don't know if you remember.
Oh, and then when you're dissing,
it looks worse for us.
And you actually played yourself.
No, that makes sense.
Okay.
Certain like, don't talk about the time
when I was taking my AP Spanish test.
And I went to the proctor and I said,
hey I think there's a typo on the cover of this test
I think it's supposed to say Spanish.
Yeah.
And everyone was like, that's wrong.
Your teacher made fun of you for that?
No, well.
You said it loud enough for everyone in the class to hear.
The teacher doesn't come to the, okay.
No, it's fine.
It's a separate.
Yeah, sure, my teacher was there.
Jeremy really stepped in at that.
During the AP Spanish exam, all the teachers come
and they stand on the-
I don't know how it works stand along the side of the room.
That's obvious.
It's obvious you don't know.
Tell me you don't know without telling me
you don't know what you did.
That's my thing.
You can't bring that up if you rap about me.
That's good.
Hands off.
It would be great if you could not mention AP.
Go bring up the teachers going to the AP test.
I understand it's a proctor or whatever
and they like administer the exam and it's not a teacher.
I understand that.
You didn't seem to understand that a moment ago.
I didn't, I didn't, but it would just be great
if you could not bring it up again.
It's just like don't talk about that in the raps.
Okay, well we can say that you specifically did know it.
I just wanna say for me, you obviously can say,
and probably are gonna have to say
that I did think the vagina was in the back,
but I would prefer that you don't-
It is more than you think.
Yeah.
It's pretty far back there.
But I thought it was.
It's not in the front.
But it's not nearly as far back as I thought it was.
Lots of people think it's in the front.
That's also wrong, but it's wrong to think it's in the back.
But you also thought the tits were in the back too.
Well, if it's back, if the one is back there,
you have a general sense that they're both on the same side.
I knew that there was a way to engage with both
from like a book that I had sort of.
Tits, do you hear this?
I know, that language.
The tits.
Don't say that I say that.
I'd like it if you didn't.
What, I'm a guy.
I'm a guy.
At the end of the day, we are guys.
Don't mention that I have kind of a different phone voice
when I talk to my mom.
Oh.
You know what I mean?
Just say it's the same.
If you talk about it at all.
Boy, it's like you're talking to one of his boys.
You can't even tell who he's on the phone with.
Don't talk about how my brother surprised me
coming out of the hamper.
He's pretending to be Monster Zink.
And so.
Don't bring that up.
From then when I was a doll,
I was just a little scared of, of that there was monster zinc
in my hamper.
And so I poured boiling water in there just to like create it in a hospitable environment.
But then I forgot about it and put all my clothes in.
And then it made basically a restaurant quality lentil soup.
Because what that would reveal about my clothes,
just kinda how nasty my clothes are, that you just put my clothes into boiling water
and it comes out with a complete lentil soup.
Anyone would taste it and be like,
this is totally normal, good lentil soup.
Yeah.
So there are lentils in your clothing.
And carrot like.
Uncooked.
Like julienne carrots and like.
Oh wow.
Yeah, like every ingredient that.
And again these aren't stories.
And for a broth as well.
We didn't know that these stories existed,
so I don't think that they like.
Exactly. We would have rapped about them.
Hey, good job.
Yeah. Exactly.
Don't say I brought my own kickball,
don't say I brought my own kickball to gym class
and then when they used it for the whole class
to play with that I started crying and I left.
Like, don't say that.
Right.
I would also ask, don't say that I was doing charades
and I was trying to do lifting weights
and like no one was guessing it
and they were guessing stuff that I found humiliating.
What were they guessing?
J-Oing.
I mean, yeah, I'm surprised Rajat didn't say it first
since it's all he wants to talk about,
but J-Oing off and.
And the fact that, don't say, don't talk about how
the fact that I didn't guess that made people think
that I didn't know, that I do it weird.
For sure.
Because people were like, well, what he's doing
is so clearly to anyone that has a normal understanding
of J-Oing, that's just obviously what it is.
You didn't recognize the gesture.
And you not guessing it, it being like defending him
and being like, that doesn't look like it at all.
Now attention is being focused on you.
Okay.
You know, don't, that whole night is probably not working.
How is it a wrong way to do it if I'm coming to my pants?
Like, sorry, how is it wrong the way that I'm j-o-ing? Mm-hmm. Is it not?
Merely a means to an end. No, I hear you. No, that's yeah
We can talk about that in the rap if you'd like we could try to defend
Could be a pretty powerful verse. I just don't I actually think just leave it out entirely
Yeah, leave it out. Leave it out. Actually. Yeah, I'd rather you don't all right think just leave it out entire even I leave it out leave it out actually yeah
I'd rather you don't all right. Just it muddies it it which is what he was
Yeah, take is yours what you're supposed to do. You're supposed to muddy it ultimately
Your your pants your pants right your boxers
Right you came in your pants yeah Yeah, my boxer shorts shirt I'm a boxer. I'm a boxer. I'm a boxer. I'm a boxer. I'm a boxer. I'm a boxer.
I'm a boxer.
I'm a boxer.
I'm a boxer.
I'm a boxer.
I'm a boxer.
I'm a boxer.
I'm a boxer.
I'm a boxer.
I'm a boxer.
I'm a boxer.
I'm a boxer.
I'm a boxer.
I'm a boxer.
I'm a boxer.
I'm a boxer.
I'm a boxer.
I'm a boxer.
I'm a boxer.
I'm a boxer.
I'm a boxer.
I'm a boxer.
I'm a boxer.
I'm a boxer.
I'm a boxer. I'm a boxer. I'm a boxer. I'm a boxer. I'm a boxer. I'm a boxer. You're basically admitting my pants and you think that's the embarrassing part. Tell me you're like tell me you go commando without telling me
You go command and you think that's the embarrassing part about coming in your pants like
That's the embarrassing part of people
Like you pretty much admitted that you you don't have don't wear under you think that I don't have another layer in between my pants
And my right so if you said like I came in my
Underwear that's that's not a bear or they accuse me of pants
Oh, just don't talk about how let's leave the pants don't talk about my pants fell off on a roller coaster
It fell off on a roller coaster
And people are like how did that happen?
Why do you think I know out that happened like Like of course I didn't want that to, it's not.
I guess I majored in roller coaster at the university.
It was like a devious plan and my entire pants came off
when I was on a roller coaster.
I'm literally the last person to ask how that happened.
What kind of pants were they?
I was not wearing a belt because
my belt buckle.
Yeah.
Says.
That's fine.
My mom had me wear the belt buckle.
It's like a special belt that my mom made
to take the roller coaster and it says,
don't let him go on any rides.
Yeah.
So you took the belt off before you got on the roller coaster. Yeah, I had to take the roller coaster and it says don't let him go on any rides. So you took the belt off before you got on the roller coaster?
You didn't want to get in trouble.
I wanted to go on the, sorry.
He wanted to be on the ride.
This is embarrassing for you, not us.
Okay, but at least I understood the cause and effect of.
You think he could get in trouble with the roller coaster people? No, he wouldn't let him on. Okay, but at least I understood the cause and effect of...
Your story is- You think he could get in trouble
with the roller coaster people?
No, you wouldn't let him on.
You're not in trouble driving a roller coaster.
If they see a bell that says,
don't let this person ride a roller coaster,
you would go to jail for that.
No, no, you would not.
Yes, you would.
Yes, we do.
There would be some repercussions.
There would be some repercussions.
No, there would not.
Just say, hey, I can't let you on this ride.
Your big bell says, don't let him go on any rides.
Sorry, pal.
Got to listen to the belt.
That's it. That's it.
You haven't met these guys.
They're not putting you in jail.
No, no, no.
Can they talk about when you're,
obviously because your pants did come off,
you then sat on a large drink
that kind of suction cup to your, you then sat on a large drink
that kind of suction cupped to your butt.
Later that did not, not on the roller coaster. No, but you came out without pants on.
Get my pants.
Stomping around.
Wait, so you were.
Pouting around and then sat down on like a really big drink.
You know, at these parks they have huge.
Souvenir. The thing like souvenir plastic. Wait, so know, at these parks. They have huge. The big souvenir parks.
The big souvenir plastic.
Wait, so that suction cups onto your butt
so you weren't wearing any underwear
and we were just talking about.
The underwear also.
Don't let them on the roller coaster.
The underwear.
So we took them off before.
Took them off.
I had strategically muddied it earlier that day
so people were like,
oh, why don't you have any underwear on?
Is it because your underwear is dope?
Is that about it, right?
It's like, no.
It's a fucking cave in.
So before you went on the fucking jail,
so I just wanna be clear here.
So before you went on the roller coaster,
you took off your belt and your underwear
and you kept your pants on.
Much, much earlier in the day,
I strategically soiled my underwear so
that I would have a convincing reason to take it. So like no one who asked
would ask anymore about whether it said that I wasn't allowed to go on any rides.
For sure. So that that was totally out of the picture. Your pants didn't say anything about the
rides or it was just like jeans or something or? Yes. Okay.
Yeah, it's just, it's just that, yes,
my pants just said jeans on it.
Don't talk about the time that I smoked wizard weed
that I ordered out on high times.
And I thought that I got so high
that I had to call an ambulance
to come and like bring me back down.
You thought you got so high
that you got to call an ambulance?
But you didn't get high?
Well, I guess Wizard Weed is like,
when I came to learn from the ambulance driver
and all of his friends, which like.
Don't bring your friends with you to your ambulance job.
Yeah.
I guess it's like, just like dry or wet basically, yeah. Yeah, it's just dry or wet. Yeah. Yeah. I guess it's like, just like dry or lint basically. I mean, although basically that's like,
yeah, it's just dry or lint.
Yeah.
It was Madame Webb.
You know how Madame Webb drives an ambulance.
She does.
Has a whole squad of buddies.
And she does have a bunch of like,
like girl, like high school age girls.
So like tough for that to be.
Uh-oh.
And like, like Sydney Sweetie is there.
Oh yeah.
As you're getting like taken away in an ambulance for.
That would suck.
Smoking wind.
Yeah.
Okay well. Just dank wind though.
We won't mention.
We won't mention that, that sounds tough.
That's fine.
I rolled a fat ass cone of it,
so it was fucking actually pretty bad ass, but.
It's okay, we'll stick to like your kid not loving you or something you could talk about that
obviously there's nothing that you got like nothing of limits I mean you can
say my dick doesn't work but don't say like don't say why okay yes yes yes okay
but just because we we do we do know why and it's not but we won't we won't say why. Okay. Yes, yes, yes. Okay, but just, because we, we do know why.
We do know why.
And it's not.
But we won't.
We won't say it.
We won't mention it.
Yeah.
Can we describe the, just the like,
substance that you dipped it in, or is that not?
That feels a little like it's in the neighborhood
of saying why, Jeremy.
Okay.
I think you know that.
Okay.
Yeah.
Okay.
It's not, we won't mention that you dipped it in. Describe it. I don't even know what, like the description is caramel. Yeah. Okay. It's not.
We won't mention that you like it.
I don't even know what the description is.
You should know.
It's not like...
What's the description gonna be like?
By the way, what is work brownish?
It's like I can still kind of muddy my boxer shorts.
So what does work mean?
You know?
It doesn't work.
And we'll talk about that defense on the wrap maybe.
Yeah, like.
That's gonna continue.
You're offering a lot of nice stuff,
you're offering a lot of defenses.
You're like clarifying a lot of things.
I mean, this is like a helpful thing.
This is supposed to be something that like lifts us both up.
Yes, exactly.
So I just wanna make sure that we're on the right page.
Cause you know, it's gonna be gloves off too, for us to up. Yes, exactly. So I just wanna make sure that we're on the right page. No, because we wanna, you know,
it's gonna be gloves off too, for us to get in like,
go away, y'all. For sure.
I would say the one thing that you,
I don't want you guys mentioning is Samo.
Yeah. You guys know about Samo?
Yeah, Samo is the robot from the John Mulaney show.
I would say like, don't, like,
you can go at us as much as you want,
but when you, when Samo gets,
when you talk about Samo, that's just.
You guys love robots, huh?
Cause you're a robot on the Seth Green
Bored Ape crypto show, right?
Yeah, I mean.
I'm the robot.
Jeremy is the robot.
Yeah, you're in it.
Dudes and robots.
I mean, and you can talk about that
because I just want that to get its flowers.
I want that show to get like it's an incredible fucking show.
Gold metal brand flowers from Michael Phelps' launch.
No kidding.
Right.
Guy bakes an entire pan of it.
No, for sure.
And that's the best kind of flowers that a show can get.
Gold metal brand first.
That's like the number one.
Right. gold medal brand first that's like the number one right back to the the show the
board ape show sorry that's right you were just I want to come back to the
board yeah underlossed and not enough people not enough people know about it
so if you guys could just talk about that more because you were you actually did a really nice thing where you
were
Talking about it on this show. Oh, yeah
episode about it and grace
Grace called me and said can Sean
Talk about it on the show because yes, I want to make sure that that and I was like, absolutely
It's a great thing that you're, Thank you guys so much for talking about that on the show.
Your representation, it's a great career sign
that your representation is calling you and saying,
is someone allowed to discuss,
My husband.
Is my husband allowed to discuss a credit of yours
in public?
Right.
And no, I'm just thanking you guys for like,
just you guys bringing that up is just like,
I love that show.
We like to try to use our platform
to kind of like celebrate voices that maybe you have a goal.
I'm just like, that is what,
when people think about me,
I want them to think about Mr. Cheese and the board ape
that Mr. Cheese stole from Seth Green.
People think this is a microphone,
it's actually a megaphone.
Yes.
And I use it to project out the crowd
and I say like everybody these guys you gotta see what they did mm-hmm
mr. well it was mr. chief if mr. cheese didn't steal the board ape from Seth
Green then maybe this would have been on air yeah which is like a really sad
mr. cheese is the thief that stole the board ape
from Seth Green's wallet.
And the board ape was named something else?
Yeah.
What was it named?
Maybe, was it, no.
Was it Fred?
Fred.
What was his last name?
It definitely had a first and last name.
I don't know.
Okay, so future co-stars will recall
exactly like once they've moved on.
Right.
Exactly what they'll think of you.
I'll find his name.
He was great to work with.
No, I mean he's great.
Well, it's family stuff.
You say, can they talk about how you have to ask permission
from your wife?
Whether you can't get a talk about things?
My wife has to approve different topics
for me to talk about on the show.
Yeah.
You think she'll call Malini tonight?
Yeah.
She can get that fucking, those diggies, man.
I think if she had the ability to call him,
he would have been called. Fred Simeon. Fred Simeon. I think if she had the ability to call him,
he would have been called. Fred Simeon.
Fred Simeon, that's great.
Sort of a subtle nod to his.
The Simeons.
Oh, that would have been a good name for the show.
Yeah.
Except for the, it's just one.
Except there's only one.
What are you gonna buy another one
that costs like millions of dollars?
Yeah. Millions of coins. Coins that costs like millions of dollars? Yeah.
Millions of coins.
Coins.
Yeah, millions of coins.
Yeah.
What else?
Can we talk about your family stuff,
like Stewie and Brian and stuff?
Yeah.
Yeah, sure.
So I guess Seth was talking.
When you were on set together about.
You told us fun stories about you from set.
Yeah, set green, that's what they go,
he's like always on set.
Might as well be called set green.
Have you met him?
No.
You guys, oh fuck, you guys would get along.
You would. You would love him. You could introduce you to him probably. Yeah. You guys, oh fuck, you guys would get along. You would love him.
You could introduce you to him probably.
Yeah.
Okay, I will.
I fuck with that.
Yeah.
You wanna be introduced too.
Okay, now I will.
Was it not on the table for me?
Not originally, but we can make it happen.
I don't think he would like you.
Would I get along with him?
No, I don't think he'd like you.
No?
I don't think you guys would get along well.
I get that sense.
I get that sense. I get that sense.
Yeah.
To uh,
to us.
To us.
To us.
You're making it to us?
That's really nice, John.
That's so nice.
To us.
That's really sweet.
Very nice.
To us, you know?
To us.
That's right.
Well, I'm looking forward to the feud.
I hate you guys.
Oh, come on.
You know, and I'm gonna bust you up, but I also am excited to hear.
Michael's that about his lunch.
I'm looking forward to all this feud.
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Hollywood handbook.
That was a hate gum podcast.