Hollywood Handbook - Lamorne Morris, Our Going Viral Friend
Episode Date: March 5, 2024The Boys help LAMORNE MORRIS take his new podcast The Lamorning After to the next level. Get a Hat Pack Hat here!Watch the video of today’s episode at Patreon.com/TheFlagrantOnes. ...;Like the show? Rate Hollywood Handbook 5-Stars on Apple PodcastsAdvertise on Hollywood Handbook via Gumball.fm See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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This is a HeadGum Podcast. theme song yeah and then did you say that it started oh i don't think i did no i had to ask
okay the theme song just ended okay dang it now i think yeah i think what we need to do is start
it again okay give me a actually stop it give me a here comes the theme song yeah then when it starts
give me a it's playing now okay leave this navalny thing hmm navalny navalny here no
have you not heard about it russian man is it navalny is a russian man russian man spy
i don't know if we know even what other professions are i don't think there's any way to know uh he farmer he was a um russian man and they they they just killed him which i hate
i hate that shit it's to me i wish i'd been there one of the unkindest acts
is the murder there are exceptions of course but the callousness yes and the um the lack of humanity
involved in just killing this this russian man i hate i believe he wanted to live am i wrong
i mean again i don't know what we don't have all this and i don't really know where where it was
on that but no one is allowed to do that when i'm around. Oh, no. And if someone had been like, hey, this is about to go down,
and I just wish I had been able to be there and be like, no.
This is my Mark Wahlberg on the 9-11 plane.
I go, if I had been there when that Navalny stuff happened,
I wouldn't have gone down like that.
Pete Davidson's dad would have still been here.
There would have been a very loud voice in the room.
Thank you for saying that. There would have been a very loud voice in the room. Thank you for saying that.
There's been a very loud voice in the room saying, hang on.
What are you doing?
Excuse me.
That's what it is.
Pause.
Pause button.
Right?
We are not going.
Let's talk about this.
What the heck are you even doing like just very direct
think for a moment this is illegal you're being crazy you're being illegal you know like i i it's
just not it's they're acting so crazy when they do this but it's unfortunately it's not an isolated
incident it's not an isolated incident.
It's not the first time.
The Russians have been killed.
And other ones have did it as well.
In murder style.
Yes.
Murder style death doing.
That's crazy.
On the Russian. I wonder if people over there just hurt.
I wonder if they're dying of other things over there.
Well, and you bring up an
interesting point because here's where my ignorance is starting to show itself a little bit i don't
actually know how he died if it was from being killed yeah i don't know what his job was as hayes
said who he was and i'm starting to suspect that maybe it was something else what were you picturing
when you said that originally i mean like maybe i don't
know heart attack people be dying of heart attacks kevin can you look this i hate that as well google
but nivalny heart attack don't google it actually don't google sucks now you can google nivalny
heart attack you're gonna get five uh sponsored links uh you know to uh um uh cardiac uh hotline.com ad commercial it used to be that
google would show you what you looked for now it shows you who paid the most you can't even google
how to eat my food these days without getting all kinds of like advertisers for like potato chip
potato chips i'm not trying to learn about different kinds of food no i already have
food i'm trying to figure out what to do with it how to eat my food oh have you had this
no i haven't into this i haven't googled it i figured out at an early age how i should eat it um
you we're trying like a baby i'm actually training like an adult no he's mama birded
you know what i mean if you can't figure it out have a you mama birded to yourself
no you have a thick black lady do it okay there's a husky just solid woman who just
got too much in there so she wanted to give away some and she just mama birds you so she's not losing out on nothing because she's got an excess okay kevin uh you know remind me to have you google something
else later because this sounds like something i might need i got some pics yeah i got pics
but don't use google what's what do use now? Because we can't use that.
Honestly, back in the day, they would just use the elders.
You got to look to the elders.
The village elder.
The village elder.
Look to the elders.
The Orville tradition.
Stories passed down, Seth MacFarlane through space, through all of time.
Yes, the Orville tradition.
You know, I don't even know if we've introduced you
can you believe it it's just so natural talking to you there's something so comfortable about
having you here when was lamorne here last episode 15 i wanted to say eight right yeah
it was in that neighborhood for sure it was that yeah between he was here long ago enough that i ran into him in the studio here the other day and i said uh we were hoping that you could do
our podcast that you could do an episode of handbook and he went handbook because it was
long enough ago you don't remember that it even existed 18 and what number is this uh 540
sheesh yeah it's uh it's been too long and you're entering the space now aren't you and What number is this? 540. Sheesh.
Yeah.
It's been too long.
And you're entering the space now, aren't you?
Yeah.
You've seen us test the waters. I crawled in there back in episode 18, didn't I?
That's what planted the seed for me.
Yes.
And then 530 or so episodes of water and sunlight and nurturing the soil.
And now there's a little sprout
beginning to bud, isn't there?
Yeah.
Of Lamorne's own podcast.
Yeah, a little growth there.
I'm excited about it, you guys.
It's called
The Morning After.
Mm-hmm.
The Morning After.
Well, we're debating
if we're going to keep the...
Okay.
If you don't,
we would love that.
We would just love to, like, if you're just, like, unloading it and you don't, we would love that. We would just love to
if you're just unloading it
and you don't need it,
we actually need it.
Anything to refresh the brand.
Are you just Hollywood Handbook?
Yeah.
And we're hoping to
Google sucks now, but we're hoping
we get more autocompletes
from things that people are actually typing the like you're typing
it like crazy or if you know who was Hollywood the handbook ah that's
interesting well because well because you just being Hollywood handbook that
implies that there are multiple Hollywood handbooks and no one goes
there are number one there are there's at least one other one yeah well there's at least
two i think yeah really yeah you ever get into any competition with them like who's running there
we would love that as well yes for them to consider us as competition because one of them
launched recently with like a big kind of press push and they didn't seem to have come across us
in the lead up to launch.
So that makes me feel like, no, we're not in a competition with them.
They can't see us.
You should be in a league of your own.
590 episodes.
That's a lot.
Fingers crossed, yeah.
But what am I saying?
It's going to happen.
You guys get that call Joe Rogan got for $250 million yet?
You guys get that?
Not that phone call. I've been getting a lot of weird numbers though calling me yeah it's been
weird yeah let me see what because so where did that call come was it from san luis obispo
i'm not sure where he got his call from okay it could be somewhere i got a call from san
luis obispo i mean that that's where Spotify's headquarters is.
Oh, wow.
Should I call them back?
Here, hang on.
Hello, I'm sorry we missed you.
The reason for the call was to help homeowners
reduce their water and power bill
through programs.
Well, well, well, well,
let's hear him out.
What better way to reduce your water and power bill
than by getting $250 million?
Yeah, certainly pay for several eco-friendly upgrades.
I mean, we do programs.
This is a program.
This is a program, yeah.
Yeah, no, they're mentioning programs.
We're on a program.
And that may have been the call.
It could have been. I feel embarrassed to call them back so
quickly she was so friendly well you gotta play yeah i almost felt like she was kind of like
like she was a little bit was it to me or you i don't think she seemed like she was kind of one
of us i feel like i don't know it's like she's kind of you think she's that crazy i don't know i don't want to probably not that probably not that no maybe not that but it seemed
like she was down to like have a meal and if it goes you know from the meal to dessert right
eat a big ass meal just chow down right? I also think she was automated.
I didn't want to break that to you guys.
I really didn't.
She seemed awfully... We will be
automated.
I've been automating
so far. I'm excited to mate
with someone else.
Mostly it's been automating
for this old cowpote. Hit the sneaky link. What is that? mate with someone else you know it's mostly it's been automating yeah if we can connect and um
yeah hit the sneaky link what what is that the sneaky link yeah tell me about the sneaky link
because we we had a list of things we want to ask about that was the main one married married
woman at work she shouldn't be you shouldn't be sleeping where you shouldn't be touching her
that's a sneaky link married woman at workOW? And you, well, you gotta be...
What's that?
I don't wanna say it.
It's nasty.
I don't wanna say it.
So, Morton, and I don't know, but... You gotta do that?
He's doing something with his mouth that...
What you were gonna say is nastier than that?
Yeah.
Nastier than the sound?
Because it could be...
It could be that? It could be that. It depends on how... Because she's at work? Yeah. Nassier than the sound? Because it could be. It could be that?
It could be that.
It depends on how.
Because she's at work?
Yeah, because at work she sits all day and she's got swass.
That's the sneaky link?
Yeah.
The sneaky links for that.
Because when she goes home, her husband's like, oh, she just had a fun day at work,
but he doesn't realize she's been entered.
I see.
Yeah.
Business idea. Sneaky links golf course. You don't know she's been entered. I see. Business idea.
Sneaky Link's golf course.
You don't know where the hole is.
No flags.
You got to figure it out.
You just keep hitting it until it goes away.
Then it's hard to find it.
Hit it until you find the hole, right?
That's the slogan.
Sneaky Link. How's it been treating you so far?
Yeah, how's podcast world, man?
I know.
Believe me, nobody knows better than us.
The oldest profession.
This game can be brutal.
Well, it's the Orville tradition.
Yeah.
It's been great, man.
I've been, you know, getting some love.
It has?
You just started? It's been getting some love. It has? You just started?
It's been great?
That makes me want to throw up.
I've already gotten the call.
I've already gotten the call.
Oh yeah, you got the call.
I got the call already.
I have two episodes in and I got the call.
You got the call?
About the programs?
It wasn't $250 million, but Spotify called us there that i got the call you got the call yeah we've got the programs yeah but we've been off it
wasn't 250 250 million but we did spotify called us and offered us 75 million dollars wow that's
significantly less than 250 so it don't feel so bad yeah 75 million bucks 75 so how do we break
through i guess how do we get to like the level of some of the big pimpin' players?
It's Hollywood.
I think you've got what it takes.
I think you deserve to be.
I don't think you should be playing second fiddle to Mr. Joe Rogan,
taking a big pay cut like that.
Well, listen, I'm new to the game, and I'm okay to start off at $75 million.
You know what I mean?
But I'll work my way up there.
And you're friends with the bank as well, correct?
Yeah.
You're the face of...
Beemo.
Beemo.
Oh, what?
Beemo.
Beemo.
You're the face of Beast Mode.
Beast Mode?
Mm-hmm.
Mr. Beast sent me chocolate today.
I don't know why.
Well...
Mess your beast.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, but anyway...
The chocolatier.
I can't eat it. But yes, chocolate tier, I can't eat it,
but,
um,
yes,
BMO is the,
I'm the,
I'm the face of that.
He's like,
I sent 1 billion people chocolate.
Yeah.
And this was,
this was their reaction.
And he does everyone's reaction.
That would actually be great for our show because your reaction would be you on the podcast saying mr beast sent me chocolate i don't know why we're pretty good yeah you get an
endorsement from mr beast now you you guys are getting that spotify call i heard someone on the
phone yesterday say this sentence well there's only one mr beast so it's it's true well i guess
yeah i certainly couldn't grab the phone hang it up and start explaining something to them like I normally do when I walk by a conversation.
This was one.
This was unassailable.
But the show.
So the morning after I describe a little bit of the.
What are you doing i forgot the show
the little morning after like talk about like is there a song what kind of messed up stuff is going
on oh is there a song it started as the the LeMorning After Pill, which is why I would keep a few of them in my nightstand.
Uh-huh.
But, you know, then it just turned into a bit of a catchy name.
You know, my name is LeMorne, you know.
Oh, I love that.
Okay.
I love that.
And are people picking up on that or that's like...
People are stupid.
Yeah, it's a little...
People are stupid.
You go pretty edgy, huh?
We need a little of that, you go uh pretty edgy huh we need a little of that you know we do yeah a little bit of a little bit of edge a little bit god knows like jake isn't bringing you know
like that's a boring fella uh we need like we like why is he like that we had him he he pulls
the envelope oh yeah yeah yeah hang on can i get another look
at that i think it's like no no no let me make sure the postage is right on it it's like just
fucking mail this shit yeah no he's he's yanking the envelope for her no uh yeah he he's not
pushing the boundaries and certainly we're not um we are the boundaries i like that you've been in this long
enough you know you become the boundary that's what but so you wouldn't go further than us or
they can stay inside people push on you you've decided to yeah don't feel so good nice to be
touched people human touch is like you know like we got like we need it we got skin hunger right
yeah skin hunger yeah skin you talk about yeah skin
hunger skin thirst yeah oh certain point yeah your skin as an organ doesn't desire touch the same way
that the human stomach desires food the human stomach yes yeah desires food a little tummy
tummy action i get it yeah i get it yeah this tummy you know with permission of course
because you can't just walk around touching no no no but it is biological you know of course that
um after an absence of touch for a certain amount of time you do get a a medically dangerous level of
blue balls oh i see i see yeah and it's different like what you know from person to person it's
whatever you first made contact with what you know how they make dads take their shirt off now
they're like so that's why i like laying on chests yes because because your dad took his
shirt off yeah my dad was wearing an eyes onon fleece when he first held me to his chest.
And so to me, that's skin.
And we're leaving that on
and we don't already have it on.
We're putting it on.
We're zipping it all the way up.
I thought I had blue balls once.
My dad had a body glove wetsuit on.
Whoa.
Sorry, you were talking about your balls.
Sorry.
You thought you had? No, I take take that back i thought i had cancer oh okay and it turns out after my friend took me
to the doctor uh the doctor asked me if i masturbated often and at the time i didn't
and he just had you just had blue balls you had cancer well that's even more dangerous
yeah blue balls for sure is even more dangerous.
Yeah.
It's the kind of thing that obviously the media has turned into a big joke, but we do have a responsibility on the show to talk about things that are
affecting the youth.
Like, I mean,
the way people talk about it and shows and movies is like,
as if it's something to be made fun of.
And for me, it's's like let's educate people
uh obviously it kills on its own but also most car crashes can ultimately be attributed to
yeah i talked to my buddy who's an emt and he said that when you pull a body specifically a
male body out of the um out of the wreckage of a car crash that like 95 percent
of the time they haven't busted in at least a month and that you it is visible when they're
just when you pull it out i mean there's another blue dangerous blue ball we talk about on the show
a lot which is that sonic is a film that killed more people than any other movie in history
really yeah yeah i mean think about it it was
it was packing the theaters immediately before covid with families that was the last big tentpole
film and now we're making the third one and what do we think is gonna happen guys what are we
expecting gang like fucking study the history books sonic killed more people than any other movie
speaking of a blue ball that's dangerous
fuck go ahead make the third one like just see wait and find out i will be staying home
mask on you know it's just like because it's like i actually i don't know i'm crazy i guess i care
about health um but you have a show how do we are we on the platforms do you have like uh are we on
socials yeah so you can find us on uh apple uh spotify we're on Instagram, TikTok, YouTube. We're everywhere where you consume your entertainment.
But what about the socials?
Like you need to be posting.
We have a dedicated, right?
Like a show account.
A show account, yes.
The LeMorning After Podcast.
That's the handle?
It might be the LeMorning After Pod.
I'm not 100 sure the
show where it all goes down is in the post is in the social media account for
the podcast it's not on the actual podcast it's not on spotify like the like you don't get 250
million dollars from like oh people listen to the podcast like advertising the podcast it's on the social media account for the podcast yes and from what
it sounds like think about you don't know the handle yeah it sounds like we're pulling dog
shit followers so far think about podcasts that you know about and then ask yourself have i ever downloaded and listened
to this podcast and the answer for me most often is no i have not but have i seen clips of them on
social media i have and i'll tell you what learn from our mistakes we've never had a single good
clip come out of this show yes you guys post clips we thank you i'm so glad you
you don't know whether we do or not that would be really bad if you had seen one they are
truly truly bad guess what jokes on you the lamorning after podcast that's the handle
wow they let you do it actually give you three a couple extra characters well the handle is the
lamorning after but you type
in the morning after podcast so you know what you're getting the handle is the morning after
yeah wow the guest has to sleep at your home yeah uh in order to get comfortable with me it's like
uh being an improv troop you gotta be uh i can be friends for a long time this is reminding me
of an improv troop now so then i sleep in in your home i know i wouldn't be a guest
but if i if you would i know obviously you don't want me as a guest but i do i would sleep in your
home and then we would wake up in the morning and immediately record yeah so but you'd have to sleep
in close proximity to me just so we can build some sort of connection they did who was it that
would do the podcast in the bed in bed with nick and megan
i produced and record that one he produced and recorded it and they did it in the bed and he
curled up at the foot of the bed like a kitty were you really a little lap dog would they nick would
they were they a couple or they just like to be yeah nick offerman mega mulally then they would
have their guest in between them oh that's nice yeah i have to leave the bedroom not really sustainable but but
well you know are they still doing it well they started it right before covet so that made it
so yeah again fewer people wanting to get into bed with them yeah they still owe josh our friend
a few episodes i'd like to say rather than they started it right before covet they started it right before covid they started it during sonic's reign of reign of destruction
they started it as sonic was crippling our nation
we gotta figure out how many like because we're you know we are we post clips the clips are bad
but we're still pulling like four bills on there on
Instagram like four billion for four or thousand dollars or $100 bills yes oh
okay you guys doing like 400 followers and easy yeah yeah yeah and and that's
and that's without having any clips that anyone enjoys and you guys think you can
help me with mine yeah because i
think we are going to yeah i think we will is it are you familiar with the story of the man falling
in the hole what sure i mean so will you refresh yeah refresh you want me to tell it if you're
familiar with it if you know it can you tell it to us we've not been able to wrap our heads around this story yet. Yeah, it's real simple.
Okay, that doesn't make me feel good.
I just told you I don't fully understand it.
You know, man walking, man don't look down.
Man falling in a hole.
But man got to get out of that hole.
Okay, yeah.
That part I know.
But it's not about what happened to him.
It's about the journey.
And that's the key.
That's the message that everybody misses.
That's what I don't understand.
I don't know why it's a story.
Yeah, it has to be somewhat about what happened to him, right?
I mean, in his early childhood, yeah.
His molestation.
That I completely missed out on.
Yeah, that's...
Early childhood thing.
That's a failure of listening on my part.
I didn't even know that his childhood was in the story.
Yeah.
But I guess you say he's walking.
You don't say for how long.
No.
Right.
And maybe it's his first steps when you say he's walking.
And then we take it all the way up to him falling in a hole.
Honestly, it's simpler than that.
It's even simpler?
Yeah.
He's on a construction site.
Okay.
Man having a house built. Over a hole. man having a house built over a hole man having a
house built on sand sand which cannot stand and the footprints in the sand yes that's right just
you say at some point there was only one set of footprints that goes, that's when I fell in a hole. Exactly. Jesus wasn't helping you.
You just fell in a hole.
A house on sand cannot stand.
That's the point of the story.
House on sand and fog.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And fog.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So we need this to be hitting today.
We've got two episodes out already.
Shipped, correct?
Lasted off. Yeah. Yeah yeah so we're a little uh but
those are like beta testing i think we can classify them as and then the actual podcast
can start once we really launch this social media blitz yeah um and i think that we'll be able to help you have you seen any of these videos where um let's say like uh here will be
like the sort of caption writing on it i'll say like uh showing my grandpa the five million
comments uh that we got on the video of him you know, describing which of the Teletubbies can get it or something, you know, like just so they've shown him some young thing.
He didn't know he was being recorded.
Showing my grandpa the five million comments we got on the video of him saying the Teletubbies can get it.
Here's his reaction.
Yeah, I've seen those.
Those.
We gotta do one do you have a relative who's like
old oh yeah not busted actually could maybe like kind of get it them themselves ideally
old old or really young oh like or old yes okay but that is and for the if they're really young. Oh. Like, or old.
Yes.
Okay.
But that is...
And if they're really young, can't get it, obviously, but also not busted that they're...
No, that wouldn't be get it, but they can't be busted.
But they are talking about something that's either too old for them to talk about or too
young for them to talk about.
Okay.
This is why we need the extreme age from them.
Yeah.
Because what we're going to show them for them to talk about is something that's like,
how are they talking about this?
And then we actually, obviously we'll generate 5 million comments.
Hayes and I can write a lot of them.
Okay.
Yeah.
And then we can show them the comments.
And I wish we could, like, I don't really have any,
all my relatives are like 40, like 46.
Your elders are all the same age.
I don't have elders, that's what I'm saying.
I don't have elders, I don't have youngers.
I got 46-year-old people.
It's all kind of right in that middle.
Yeah, and so I got nothing to offer.
Like, I would love to be able to come to this with an old person who can get it.
I don't really have relatives.
You know what I mean?
Sort of a farmy brat.
So essentially what you're looking for is someone.
Moved around the farm a lot.
Moved around different farms.
Yeah.
Oh.
Yeah.
Yeah. Did you say farie brett uh-huh okay so i so i you know but by the way it shouldn't be our relatives anyway right because it's not
for our show our show is done like that happened you're only two in there's a big opportunity here to find a relative not busted
either young respectfully they should be adorable old can get it right but median age it's not
something you look you're not useful not useful i don't know what i'm looking at it's both too
late and too early i was what am i showing them well i was
told typically that that was the um the buying age that the the you know i look at my demographics
on instagram yeah and that's who's gonna enjoy the video that's why they can't enjoy it they're 46
yeah oh here's a guy same age as me having the same opinion i would not here's this old fuck machine talking about some youthful thing they're trying to guess what uh
young slang terms mean right i see now secure the bag and they're going like oh geez um uh
don't uh fight off a a a pickpocket and oh, no, that's not what it means.
But how funny that the sexy old fuck is having this idea about it.
And then, like, the comments are like, that is a better meaning for this.
So sexy also is another attribute they must have.
Jesus Christ, man.
I mean, it's literally the first thing I said.
Yeah, but it's a visual medium.
Like, this isn't podcast first thing I said. Yeah, but it's a visual medium. This isn't podcasting.
I see.
You can't be bringing all this.
We got to look, you know?
Yeah, I get it.
We all got to look.
Come on, man.
I especially do, but we all got to look a little bit.
The guy's got to look.
But I extra have to.
Jesus, dude.
You extra have to.
We all have to a little bit but i really really got i gotta look
you know i mean looking at some some old memories i know there's nothing wrong with it but with me
there is something wrong with not doing it you know what i mean like yeah and there is something
wrong with how much he needs to do yeah like so there there's aspects of wrongness in my case but
like but we all got a little bit but i really really i absolutely this is an extreme version but the the core principle of having to look is pretty universal and we do
need to i used to frequent a site uh as a child called elderly butts there's a it was an adult
site it was adult so i thought that was elderly so like we got that just from just from that part yeah extreme elderly okay um extreme adult
yeah senior cytosine yeah i don't know yeah that could be one of the comments you know i mean this
is one of the five million comments you could find old people that don't um like you ever go
to a nursing home yeah you ever been i used to go sing to old people. You could go there.
You could find so many willing participants in this thing that you guys are pitching.
Yeah.
So you got nothing.
It's a no-go on the relatives you're providing.
So the answer is straight up no.
You will not.
Just that I go to a nursing home.
I guess I'm singing.
You could sing.
That's how you get them warmed up.
Older people, they have a hard time getting could sing that's how you get them warmed up older people
they have a hard time getting damp so you have to get them you have to sing like oh especially like
old black old black ladies you gotta sing like old negro spirituals something you know i'm saying
civil rightsy that gets them all because they used to love mlk they used to love like all those cats
who was like standing for some shit those cats And that really gets them kind of going.
You don't have like a muscly uncle or anything like that?
Yeah, a strong uncle.
A strong uncle.
Normal uncles are lazy for the most part.
They probably used to be strong back in the day, coming from the island.
You know what I'm saying?
A lot of chopping shit. You know what i'm saying a lot of chopping shit you know what i'm saying a lot of strength but now in their old age
arthritis that plagues the black community you know what i mean it's a lot of you know rickley
old dudes okay so busted you're saying that's sounding busted uncles are busted um the comments
are gonna be about how busted they are that's just like not gonna help us because then we don't we
don't want to show them you know we don't want to go hey uncle strong like here like
come look at all you know like showing my uncle strong all the comments that on his video of
yeah but that i think and then you're reading the comics reading the comments it's gone like busted
fugly wouldn't hit like and and then he's just like he's sad
this uncle the kind of thing yeah this uncle hits the same yeah you imagine
that'd be just about it for me yeah that's a wrap if this uncle hits the same that's a wrap
but do yourselves a favor i really mean this guys this is homework for you
please go to a nursing home i'm gonna have to do myself a favor no one else is doing it so
no no this whole show is i mean it's up to me i guess when it comes to doing me
favors this is 540 plus favors that we've done for ourselves
diminishing returns on all the favors we've been doing
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Like, this is the meal.
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Okay?
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it's a little bit of all of them okay okay it shouldn't be there are also more than 60 add-ons
to help you stay fueled up and feeling good all day long how many add-ons and what are some of
them it's one big add-on and it's you on your bed.
You're so tired after you eat my meal.
The promise is the meal makes us sleepy.
You've been pushing that so much.
You're saying that you will be added on to your bed.
Yeah.
Your bed plus one.
That's the opposite of what this is supposed to do.
It's supposed to help you stay fueled up and feel good all day long.
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Hollywood ham.
I just got an alert.
Yeah?
Numbers are through the roof.
Podcast.
The podcast numbers are through the roof?
No.
Okay.
No.
So then all the more reason to sort of strike while the iron's hot in terms of hiring us
to do this reaction video, you know?
A hundred percent.
But I'm saying you got to get on now.
Our numbers are not through the roof necessarily.
We are almost able to like sit on an ottoman you know what i mean oh right now
where our numbers are at like we're just sort of like leaning against the ottoman and like we try
to hop onto it but like it's not our numbers are at a level where we're really scared if an overhead
light bulb goes out because we are not going to be able to change it. We are going to have to sit in the dark. Yeah.
So, like... We need someone to get us food.
The food's too high.
Yeah, the food is up too high.
Anything in a cabinet is a no-go.
Is that why there was no parking space for me?
There was no parking space for me.
Also, you said earlier, before we were rolling,
that the coffee was dog shit here as well.
I did not say that!
You said that you went across the street to
get your coffee and there's i said i didn't know whether the coffee was good or not because it's a
new machine it is brand new i there was no parking spot for me either if it makes you feel better
no there wasn't no there's no parking spot for anyone kevin texted me did he let you know you
didn't let lamorne know i did yeah yeah Yeah, he texted me a while ahead of time.
But I didn't walk here.
And he said, yeah, I walked here from my faraway parking spot.
And as soon as I walk in, I see why.
The fucking Doughboys.
And so how is the coffee?
Honestly, I don't know if the coffee is good or not because my cup was washed with so much soap.
This cup is washed.
The cup, yeah.
And it's straight washed.
And it smells like, you know, palm olive.
And you're drinking coffee out of that?
I thought it was water that you were having that reaction to.
No.
Yeah, because I saw you take a sip at one point,
and I thought, this man is fighting for his life.
He's going through something in terms of the odor of this cup.
Smell the cup.
But the coffee today is maybe okay because...
Smell the cup challenge.
Smell the cup challenge.
Smell the cup challenge.
They, when the doughboys are in here...
Smell the outside of the cup.
Oh, they washed this thing with an old sponge. An old sponge. This was not a brand new sponge fresh out of the cup oh they washed this thing huh with a with a old sponge an old sponge
this was not a brand new sponge fresh out of the package that was a mildewy sponge oh wow
yeah oh geez what's this palm olive or something this is this is some kind of this is not seventh
generation this is like which is the good stuff this is a soap that uh that's from when i was
young a joy type soap.
They get 7th generation right out of the tree.
They just nail a bucket to a blue tree.
Yeah, so that's...
You were right.
I'm not going to lie.
It's bad.
It's dog shit.
I smelled the cup challenge.
But not because the coffee might be good.
We can't even judge the coffee.
And here's...
I actually think maybe it is good today.
We're here at the same time as the Doughboys.
And when the Doughboys are in here,
you ever see The Sting?
No.
The movie The Sting?
No.
Lamorne.
Okay, we're watching The Sting.
And then we'll...
You especially, you especially need to watch The Sting.
It is so Lamorne.
Is that part of it?
Is that part of it?
Is that part of it?
It's a little bit.
It's a little bit.
It's the most of it.
Yeah.
What is The Sting?
I don't want to watch it now.
This film sounds like I don't want to watch it.
We're watching it.
We're watching it.
So never mind.
I don't want to spoil.
No, now I can't bring it up.
You just have to see it.
You just have to see it.
So come back after you watch The Sting.
We watch The Sting, and then we have an appointment.
Okay, one year from today, we do do a full sting review on this podcast okay what
who's in it and you oh my god who's not in it it's robert shaw you're lying that's what what
do you think the movie's about i mean it's like it's named after him if this is real i've never doing music it's sting right
yeah sing the wrestler sting the musician oh i get it now that's okay yeah well i'll do i'll
i'll go and watch it i'll go watch the scorpion jacket from drive is in it as well kevin i think
it might be i mean like this what are we kind of describing like
do you you you have people right can we can you please like you're the you're supposed to book
people for this show yep like i know you have like older relatives who can get it like they're
friends get your fucking sexy ass mom on here kevin and stop
beating around the damn bush what are we doing here come on you know like i we've given you
enough windows to jump in and say it it's like now i'm actually gonna go ahead and call her up
we can give her some on my damn knees call your mom we can give her a few lines and and we can give her some... I'm on my damn knees. Call your mom and ask... We can give her a few lines
and then we can pre-write the comments
and then we show her the comments.
Okay, we'll see how this goes.
And then we just render it.
What do we want Kevin's mom to react to?
Probably something very young, right?
Well, mom, you're on Hollywood.
The Euphoria kids or something.
See, this is exactly
I love this energy I wish that your son would show
the same enthusiasm about being
involved in the show
we try
try them on
so we hear you're
you know quite the
looker
everyone's talking about how beautiful you are
got a few single guys here um we're trying to
make a viral video a viral video yes we need something with a relative of someone involved
in the show reacting to something from youth culture something aimed at youth culture yeah so either like modern slang
terms or young characters how about this yeah um uh well this has to be your relative so is it okay
we have lamorne morris here is it okay if he calls you like like auntie sure okay what's up tt
oh hi how are you oh i'm good it's been a long time since i've seen you um you know i still owe
you from that last time but uh ask her what a sneaky link is yeah real quick tt do you know
what a sneaky link is a sneaky link nope sure don't you don't you have to is it something i
should know you should know you probably have been a sneaky link.
I don't know what's going on at home,
but I'm saying a sneaky link is something that a lot of people deal with.
But guess what it is.
Guess what it means.
Guess what it is.
I'm going to guess it's a person who lies all the time.
Close.
You're in the ballpark but lying about what?
That's pretty close, but we need her to say
something. It doesn't pop
the same way.
What do you think it means to secure
the bag?
Secure the bag?
Oh my gosh.
To not go to the bathroom.
Yes.
Yes.
Perfect. to not go to the bathroom. Yes. Yes.
Perfect.
Yes.
Perfect.
We really look forward
to showing you the comments
on this viral video.
Yeah.
This was so insanely helpful to us.
Yes.
Does anybody have a third one?
I mean, we got it.
No, that one's perfect.
We've got it.
But do us a favor.
Do us a favor.
Next time you're at work
or next time you're out
with your friends
or in a social setting,
just walk up to a stranger, walk up to a lovely young man and say, hey, would you like to
be my sneaky link?
All right.
I'm going to do that.
That's right.
I'll let you know how it goes.
She is going to do it.
Right.
And she will let us know.
Okay.
Yeah.
Her word is her bond.
And if they give you any hesitation, slap them on the butt and say, secure the bag.
There you go. I got my two good lines now when she says there you go a bunch that means she wants to leave thank you mrs kevin thanks tt thank you mrs kevin you are very welcome i love your show i
listen to it all the time we love you too thanks for bathing me as a child. She hung up.
That was nice of her.
Wow.
Going to the bathroom.
Not going to the bathroom.
Not going to the bathroom.
She said not going to the bathroom.
Oh, that's so good. Securing the bag is not going to the bathroom.
It's clenching your butt cheeks together.
Oh my gosh.
And now we just have to write some comments.
And now we just have to write some comments.
Obviously, Auntie Kevin can get it.
Auntie Kevin can get it.
What's her name again?
I want to make sure I'm not disrespecting my TT.
Adeline.
TT Adeline.
TT Adeline.
I got to follow her back on IG.
Sweet Adeline. That sounds like a negro spiritual that was awfully negro spiritually
what can i say you know auntie got me at one hp
oh gosh that got another alert uh yeah i'm gonna have a time not going to the bathroom after this
video ends right to do what this is the comment you don't get to ask the comment yeah so we show
it to her and so she's like reacting to that do we call back and do another video of her reacting
to the clip one viral we have to pre-write some of the comments you know like that kind of caught us
off guard yeah we didn't know exactly what what we were gonna give her uh-huh sorry you got another
alert what happened uh we're still winning in the podcast still winning oh my god wow let me see
i might do not disturb yeah you might have your notifications off and the phone's been being so weird
yeah my phone is locked
how about the country needed this
the country this is exactly
what we need right now as a country
none of this
woke shit
auntie got me feeling like
uh
the end of
letters from Iwo Jima.
Right?
Was that Spike Lee movie?
Who directed that?
I don't think.
That was the one that he decided to call a Spike Lee movie.
This is a movie.
I've done a lot of joints.
This is my first movie.
Yeah.
Auntie got me auntie's the cute one what's that just sometimes people go i'm the cute one uh-huh no they don't
auntie is bae wait are these are these other slang terms that I haven't heard?
Because I'm young.
The Iwo Jima one is the thing that the kids are saying for sure.
Iwo Jima?
Auntie got them cakes.
Yeah, the Iwo Jima one I think has come up a lot. Auntie got those grand torinos.
Yeah.
Auntie could be my the mule.
Sully me, Auntie.
Yeah.
Auntie working with crevices. Auntieie gonna make me cry macho over
here yeah auntie might not be my real auntie but it's a family secret so we don't talk about it
yeah auntie got me wailing like the outlaw josie uh-huh uh auntie stole richard jewel out the crown auntie on my richard like a jewel
vaping on my richard like a jewel yeah yeah auntie
auntie making this river mystic but y'all not ready for that conversation
no i know no i'm sorry auntie making my stick river
I'm sorry auntie making my stick river
right
auntie has beef with iced tea for obvious reasons
this the real
million dollar baby
so yeah I think that
like those comments
are super powerful
and I just I'm happy for you i'm happy for the morning
uh after show thank you yeah because you already were winning and now it's like we're gonna be
like hitting basically not able to catch you yeah yeah and uh i mean i'll be back now that i know
the format of your show again yeah i definitely have definitely have to come back. Yeah, well, I'm excited to come one year from today.
We'll be reviewing The Sting.
We'll all be watching it together,
and we can kind of talk about, you know,
all the...
Bye.
Bye.
Hollywood Handbook.
That was a HeadGum Podcast.