I Don't Know About That - 18/19th Century Hygiene

Episode Date: December 20, 2022

Our expert Mina Moriarty (@historyho101) teaches the IDKAT team how much we used to stink! SPONSORED: NextEvo - Mid 1 https://nextevo.com/podcast with code IDK BetterHelp - Mid 2 “This episode is sponsored by/brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at https://betterhelp.com/IDK and get on your way to being your best self.” Our merch store is now live! Go to idontknowaboutthat.com for shirts, hoodies, mugs, and more! Subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com/IDKAT for ad free episodes, bonus episodes, and more exclusive perks! Tiers start at just $2! Go to JimJefferies.com to buy tickets to Jim's upcoming tour, The Moist Tour.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Jingle bells, Merry Christmas, I have no agenda but to wish you a Merry Christmas, you are listening to I Don't Know About That with Jim Jefferies. Ah, Merry Christmas, it's that time of year where you've just knocked off work, it's the 20th, you've just knocked off work, do you know that's that time of year where you've just knocked off work. It's the 20th. You've just knocked off work. Do you know that's the biggest drinking year of the year? More than New Year's. The biggest drinking day of the year is the Friday before Christmas

when everyone takes that day off work and you all have that half day and you all start drinking really fucking heavily and you get all Christmassed up and you try to, you know, knock on to Jenny from Accounts or whatever and one of you wears a fucking lampshade on your head. Yep. So I hope you're all having fun. I, you know, look, I'm self-employed so I never get to Christmas parties.

I never get to go to the Christmas party. You can have one. I have a nice one down at the Improv I always enjoy. I always go down to that one. So we just finished Asia. Ah, what a good time. And now we're off to buy tickets for, we've got Vegas coming up. I've got all of the UK, most of Europe, like a lot of Europe.

Like this is my most extensive European tour. They're all at jimjeffries.com. There's loads of dates so if you live in europe or the uk i'm coming to see you uh tickets for both of those tours are selling rather well some of the shows are already sold out so so get on to that and this is our last episode of the year and we'll be coming back in february but um if you want to check out patreon we are not uh charging subscriptions for december or january so if you want to check out Patreon, we are not charging subscriptions for December or January. So if you want to catch up on those episodes, you can.

Patreon.com slash IDCAT. And follow us on Instagram at IDCAT Podcast. Forrest is not with us right now because he has COVID and he's inside his house with his COVID. Second time round, COVID loves him. If he walks past COVID, he's like, COVID's like, I want to attach myself to that fella. I'm a likable guy.

Yeah, you're a likable guy. If COVID was pussy, Forrest is Hugh Hefner. Well, okay. Let's read some ads. DK. Please welcome our guest, Mina Moriarty. Hello. Now it's time to play.

Yes, no. Yes, no. Yes, no. Yes, no. No. Judging a book by its cover. All right. I assume you're in Hogwarts right now from the looks of behind you.

You've got a big chess piece and you've got an owl. Is it something to do with Harry Potter? No, this isn't going well at all. No. Oh, okay. No. A hint of an accent. I can't really tell whether you're British or Australian,

but it's soft on either side. Are you Australian? Are you Scottish? Partly. Okay. So you're from the north somewhere, some northern thing it's going to be something northern um this is very specific oh is it the coal the coal strikes during the thatcher administration no specific all right give me a hint first okay this is something that you do

every day but we're going to be talking about it in a different time it's something we do every day when you wake up before you go to bed during the day you do it all day yeah you do it all during the day there's a term for this

but we're not talking about no it's something like it's a, there's a term for this that you, and we're not talking about, no, it's something like, you know, let's say you, uh. It's like taking care of yourself. Yeah. Ah, soap, washing yourself. There you go. Yeah, I don't do that every day. What's the, what's the, what's the word for that?

Washing yourself. Starts with an H. Hygiene. Yeah. Oh, now we're going to talk about medieval hygiene where people used to just go, I put a fucking leech on the end of my dick and now it's clean and I can't get a woman pregnant for a week or something. Because they're going to talk about us that way in 100 years.

They're going to go, fucking hell, they were mental. We're going to be talking about 18th and 19th century hygiene with Mina. Mina Moriarty is a writer, editor, and content creator with a master's in creative writing. Her book, Who the Hell, and I hope I don't mispronounce this, is Olympe de Gouges. I don't know. It was published in 2019, detailing the life of the 18th century French abolitionists and feminists. Detailing the life of the 18th century French abolitionists and feminists. Her poetry chapbook, Exile Home, was published in 2020 and explores the life of Indian suffragette Sophia Duleep Singh.

Mina is best known for creating history content on sex hygiene and women's history on her TikTok channel. Is this correct? At HistoryHo101? Is that? Okay. Just want to make sure I wasn't saying something. I don't know. At HistoryHo101.

Yeah, it's Ho-H-O. That's the end of it. 101. Christmas themed. Yeah, Christmas themed. Oh, yeah. HistoryHo101, where you can join her on there and follow her more than 440,000 followers on there. Thanks for being here, Mina. Can you tell us a little bit about how you got to be an expert in this field? So I'm a writer and an editor, and I've always had a really keen

interest in history, specifically 18th century women's history. And so I wrote a book about an 18th century French feminist and playwright called Alain Dubuche. And it was while I was writing that book that I kind of went down different rabbit holes of curiosity when it came to women's history, sex and hygiene. And so I thought that other people might find it interesting too. And so I set up a TikTok account to talk about those topics. And after about a week, i had a video that went viral uh and it was on how women dealt with their periods in the 18th century uh and then yep i've just carried on making the videos since then so are we going to be dealing with how women dealt

with their periods in the 18th century we're going to be talking about like um bathing uh men how how they dealt with that menstruation. Men's stuff too. Men and women. How we dealt with periods. Deodorant, STIs, that kind of stuff. All right. Yeah.

So I'm going to ask Jim some questions about 18th and 19th century hygiene. And at the end of us asking these questions, Mina, you're going to grade them on his accuracy. Zero through 10. 10 is the best. Kelly's going to grade him on confidence, you're going to grade them on his accuracy, zero through 10, 10 is the best. Kelly's going to grade him on confidence, I'm going to grade him on et cetera. We'll add all these scores together and if you score 20 with your 30, Jim,

you're strong enough for a man but made for a woman. Do you know what that means? No. There was like a deodorant called Secret back in the day. It still exists. No, in Australia, we were just rubbing chunks of coal in our armpits no but that was their slogan they would say strong enough for a man but made for a woman i don't know what i don't think it's anyways men smell more that's the the theory you couldn't use it though if you're a man you weren't allowed to use it

um 11 or 20 female deodorant now i like a bit of that dove stuff. Me too. A little bit girly. I do too. I don't know why there's even a difference. 11 or 20. Weak enough for a woman, made for a man. 0 through 10, just right for a loser, and you're made for a loser because you're a loser. You get the bad score. You don't want that.

First question. The summer of 1858 was referred to as the Great Blank. Remember, we're talking about hygiene. The Great Plague. No, the plague was earlier than that. That was the Black Plague. It was the Great Unwashed. Mm-hmm.

When was toilet paper invented? Whenever it was invented, not soon enough. That's like fucking what were we doing before? A lot of rags, a lot of dirty rags. A lot of dirty rags and shit in the street. I reckon it was probably invented in 1847. Okay. To get rid of stains and grease grease clothes would be soaked in what um

uh piss yes okay piss is gonna be because piss is sterile i'm just trying to think outside the box i'm not trying to be funny that might work there's ammonia there's ammonia and something i don't imagine they had bleach and they wouldn't have had just, you know, oxy, whatever they call it. And, you know, they wouldn't have had nappy sand, which is the oxy something version in Australia. So I'm going to say piss. It would be something that, you know, someone's dad that came home drunk would have pissed on the clothes.

And then the stains, when it came out, they're like, oh, they did a good job. You already smelt like piss. So what difference does that make? Most homes didn't have indoor toilets. Where did they go to the bathroom? Outhouses. You had an outhouse in the back.

There's still a lot of Australian houses in the bush that have these things. They have like the wooden sort of box outside. They always had a moon cut into the door. If you want to get that thing, a crescent moon carved into the door. A wooden box with a crescent moon is your answer. Final answer, lock it in. 18th and 19th century, how often did people bathe? In Britain, they're still doing once a week.

My wife's very lax like that. She bathes herself every day. She goes to the shower every two days. But with the kids, she's just like, they don't sweat. They don't have to bathe. They don't have to bloody bathe. So, yeah, I would say once a week. Why did women bathe in, quote, shifts?

And why were sheets used in baths? They bathed in shifts because if they bathed at the same time, they'd cycle together. It'd be a bloodbath. And why were sheets used in baths? The sheets were used. That's how Little Red Riding Hood got her outfit, man. Okay.

Killing two birds with one stone. What did they think hot water would do to them like oh it would it would every time when you talk about women you talk about the past they think that hot women hot women would have given them hysteria there's always hysteria involved they'd get overly excited but we all know if you watched any stand-up comedy or if you've ever lived with a woman that for whatever reason women like their water to be at least 10 degrees hotter

than men. I can't get in a bath if my wife's been in there or the shower like it's so hot. I hate hot water. People think I'm so weird for that but I'll take like a, I'll take halfway you know you can turn it all the way up to hot. Half halfway is like perfect

and everybody thinks I'm insane. Well, other women apart from Kelly. It's because I'm hysterical. Yeah, because of Kelly's hysteria, right? But for whatever reason, I don't know if it's just a comedy bit, but it's been my experience. Women love hot as all balls. And then I have another theory.

I can eat food that's like lava. My wife will blow on it. So their mouths can't take heat, but their body can. Science. All right. It's a different podcast. How did women deal with period cramps? Complaining would have been the first step.

That's how I deal with any ailment I have. In a hygienic way, let's say. By telling everyone and going, oh, I'm ament i have in a hygienic way by telling everyone and going oh a bit sore uh in a hygienic way they would have there would have been a hot water bottle that's they still use hot water bottles now a bit of bit of uh electric blankets okay and what what did women use back then as pads when they had a period oh uh depending on the size of the woman, the big girls would use a whole sheep, and the more petite women would use a newly born lamb. Okay.

How do you think you're doing? Not good. I don't know about male hygiene. What do you think I know about female hygiene? He just learned about flossing in another podcast. Victorian women gave this odd thing as a gift to their lovers. So, again, we're talking about hygiene. He just learned about flossing in another podcast. Victorian women gave this odd thing as a gift to their lovers. So again, we're talking about hygiene. What did Victorian women give to their lovers as a gift?

I'll say a used tampon. Okay. What did people use for deodorant back then? Okay, so it's going to be a weird answer, but I think this would work as an antiperspirant, which wouldn't be a deodorant. So deodorant, they'd maybe rub some flowers or something like that, but an antiperspirant, I would say they used wax.

Wax. Wow, that would hurt, huh? No, you wouldn't use it hot. You'd wait to cool down a bit. You'd wait until the wax is warming, then you'd just chalk it on. You'd get the end of a candle, and then you'd put it out, and then you'd wait until the wax is warming and then you'd just chalk it on. You'd get the end of a candle and then you'd put it out and then you'd go. Okay. How many steps were involved in doing a load of laundry

and then how long would that take? Depends how far your machine is from your room. So I'll judge it from my house. Then I'm going to go down the stairs. Oh, I live upstairs. Got to go back up. No, no. I think we're talking about

steps that involve like first you do this well you should have stipulated that for us now you've made me look like a fool um okay so the first step would have been taking off your clothes one second one putting them in putting water into bucket two Getting that thing that hipsters play, the wash thing where they go... Washboard. Getting the washboard. With me, you just use me abs. But you get the washboard out, you put that in. Three.

Then you scrub. Four. Then you hang out dry. Five. Then you rub horse manure on the clothes to sanitize or something like that. There'll be some weird thing that involves smearing shit on them after the washing period.

So I'm going to say six, six steps. And how long does it take? It takes a while? It depends how bloody lazy you are. I'd bash it out quick. It's like how they tell you to brush your teeth in 30 seconds. You can do it in 10. So you make it a minute. don't know two minutes two minutes fucking hell here's a question i always want to know how often would clothes get washed

how many days would they wear like something you know how often would they get washed and how often how many days would they wear i think you do a load and uh so your clothes would last you a week and then you would do a load and so you'd probably have five outfits you do two loads a month so if you had five outfits that means you'd wear that outfit for like four days but it's like yeah you wear no for a week right so you'd wash two outfits every two weeks and you'd be wearing the one yeah yeah and you'd wear another one and then you'd have your fancy one for the shit smearing festival did people wear underwear back then no no no no they free balled everywhere they went commando what are perfume gloves oh they wear pantaloons. They weren't underwear as such. They wear undergarments, but not underwear as we know them today. Okay.

What are perfume gloves? Perfume gloves, you'd put a bit of lavender in the tips of the fingers and stuff like that so that when you were given a handjob, you smelt good. Yeah. It would waft up with each stroke. It's a good segue. What were stis called back then um stis uh that were um uh itchy cunt and drippy dick that was it

i got a bit of drippy dick ah you probably got it from my itchy cunt. Oh, well, we'll have a bath in a week and it'll all be good. Okay. Why was gonorrhea called the clap? Because if you had enough of it and you ran really quickly, it slapped together with the stickiness of the mucus. Disgusting. All these answers are correct, but they might not be fun to hear they might not be fun to hear these might be some hard truths for everyone

okay last question i think i'm gonna say hopefully i say that's right what is a bordaloo am i saying that right bordaloo it's the abba song oh bordaloo couldn't escape if I wanted to Our borderloo Is a guy called Luis Who's trying to break into Mexico Oh wow We used to be on our podcast Yeah yeah that's where he's gone He's off doing that He's going the other way

He's borderloon He's going the other way You ever seen his post He goes the other way He's always there Yeah he goes the other way Alright Mina How did Jim do on his knowledge of 18th and

19th century hygiene on these questions zero through 10 10 is the best he did a pretty good job to be honest that's probably give like eight and a half what I was expecting a zero that's yeah no I all right eight and a half. We'll have to see the answers. You want to know why? Because I still practice these hygiene regimens. Nothing's changed. How are you doing confidence, Kelly?

I'm giving him a 10 for the fact that he said, these answers are right. There will be some hard truths for you guys. That was a lot of confidence. It was so much confidence. That's 18 and a half. Yeah, I'll just some hard truths for you guys. That was a lot of confidence. That was 18 and a half. I'll just give you 10 for etc. Strong enough for a man, but made for a woman. Since you use women's deodorant,

you might as well use it. Jim said that the summer of 1858 was referred to as the Great Unwashed. What is the correct answer, Mina? The correct answer is the Great Unwashed. What is the correct answer, Mina? So the correct answer is the Great Stink. So he was quite close there by saying unwashed. Yeah, the Great Stink.

That's pretty good. Yeah, I got a point for that. Yeah. Yeah, so the Great Stink was when the River Thames was basically filled with fecal matter. And that summer of 1858 was particularly warm, and so the whole city just absolutely stank. You'd get nose-blind to it, though.

But watching historical movies, when I say historical movies, you know, movies like Jabberwocky and all the old Monty Python ones where there are always people in the street just shitting in the yeah um it feels like london was the stinkiest of all the cities like i know that like new york had like sewerage just flowing down the street and that type of stuff but it feels like london was was stink central is that correct or was all cities about the same london was particularly particularly stinky because the population rose so rapidly in a short period of time.

So the city wasn't really built to have that many people. And so there was just not enough space for all of the human excrement. And not to mention in the Victorian period, there were about a thousand tons of horse shit just each day and that was just horse shit. So yeah, it was partly the population. There was horse shit everywhere. That was the motor transport and horse piss and cobbled stones. I bet you the underground was the best smelling place of it all. They were building the tunnels back then.

Alright, next question first. Okay, when was toilet paper invented? Jim said not soon enough, 1847 is what he said. 1847, so close. It was actually 1857. Yeah, but my great-great-great-great-grandfather hadn't taken it to market yet, but he'd been using it in his house for 10 years before that. He had to test it.

Shirley, what were they using before? Newspaper or leaves? Yep, yep. So, yeah, literally anything they could get their hands on. So newspaper, leaves, moss, sticks. Some people would use, like, corn cobs. Yes, sticks, if you were really stuck. Just, like, a bundle of sticks

hold on a second you said corn cobs yeah corn cobs yeah yeah yeah yeah that's why you got corn in your poo to this day okay and then it was invented in england is that where where was the first toilet paper so it was a paper? So it was 1857. It was a guy called Joseph Gaiety, and it was like the first patented toilet paper as we know it to be. And it was referred to as medicated paper for the water closet. I was forgetting they're called water closets. It was just sheets of bark.

Yeah. Like when did the second, third and fourth ply come in? When did what, sorry? When did extra ply toilet paper come in? Or they come straight in with the ply? That was later on. I think it was like the early 20th century. Ah, good.

The ply, man. I still to this day don't understand why if somebody buys cheap ass toilet paper, like splash out, man. You want the soft stuff. Like what are you doing? Also, I'm a big advocate of the paper should be hanging on the outside of the roll, not the inside bit. No, it's always outside.

It's always outside. If I'm in someone else's house and they have it on the inside, I swap it around for them. I do too. That's their problem for being fucking idiots. I agree. It's the outside. Then there'll be some people who go, you don't have a cat.

I do have a cat. It's fine. Why would a cat? Because cats can go and get it off the spindle. But all you do to stop that is you just crunch the toilet roll a little bit so it doesn't get as much of a run on. Or close the door. The cats are allowed to wander through the house i have a lot of i feel like every public bathroom now has you know they've got the giant rolls in those dispensers but they're

all one ply and when you're pulling the toilet paper it every square breaks off it's the most fucking frustrating thing in the world yeah i i want to go back to the days before toilet paper it seemed like it was less frustrating. The twigs. Here's a basket of twigs. Of course. Just twig. You get a towel.

More splinters involved, though. Yeah, just get in your bath. Often I just get in the shower if I've got a particularly bad one and then just do that, you know, clean my arse all that way. Have a lovely shower. Yeah, like a bidet. Yeah. I've got a bidet in my toilet, i got i got a bad hemorrhoid my

ass prolapse a bit i don't know if it's hygienic to shoot water up my ass there but i still do it i still give it a go there's a there's a big talk on the internet right now talking about how guys uh these women are finding out that their boyfriends don't actually wash their ass like they're like yeah i just i just let the the shower water run down my crack and these girls are like wait you don't actually like wash your ass and just a bunch of guys walking around with unwashed asses well you spray it good you you what you want these guys they you want me to chub chub soap up there no the girl you get a fissure that really hurts the girl who made the original video said like well you spread your cheeks apart right and he's like no of course you'll do that yeah of course you do that skid mark get a washcloth

i remember my brother left my oldest brother left a skid mark on a white towel oh and a thing when he was obviously drying his ass he hadn't cleaned it properly it was a big thing in the family shame that danny that danny didn't wipe his ass properly and there was skid marks on the towel. He'll be listening. He gets angry when I mention him. Scott quite enjoys it. Scott quite enjoys when I mention him,

but Danny's going to get grumpy with me. I'll be there. Especially because the mention was not something super flattering. He was about 14. He was about 14. It wasn't like last week. Although if his wife's listening, ring in. Tell us if he still leaves skid marks on the towel.

To get rid of stains and grease, clothes would be soaked in what? Jim said piss. Is this correct? Urine? Yes. Yeah, that's totally correct. Urine. Yep.

I know things. I know things. I think you were guessing, Jim. Imagine the flies. It's because of the ammonia, right? I think you were guessing, Jim. Imagine the flies. It's because of the ammonia, right? Is that the... Yeah, exactly. The ammonia acts as a cleaning agent and a bleaching agent as well.

I was guessing, but it was an educated guess. Like, I tried to figure out what would go on. So we don't need to wash our hands after we pee. Well, you know, if you piss on your feet, Jack, you'll never get athlete's foot. Really? You'll never get tinea. No, it's a disinfectant. If you piss on your feet in the shower you'll never get athlete's foot. Really? You'll never get tinea. No, it's a disinfectant.

If you piss on your feet in the shower, you won't be getting athlete's foot. Fact. Fact. Or a girlfriend. No, you're still in the shower. You're still in the shower. Just kidding. So this was what people would do at home?

They'd just pee on their clothes? Well, they would soak the clothes in pee to get rid of the stains and the grease and obviously it would bleach the clothes as well. They also used urine to dye their hair. Like dye it blonde. That's where the term piss head comes from.

So there was like a communal bucket that they're like, we gotta save the regular like the good peas for the washing. No. Yeah, like it's very eco-friendly. She said yes. You piss on the clothes directly if you don't have enough piss.

She said you would soak them. Yeah, but let's say your clothes are already soaking in piss. Then you have a jug for excess piss. If people come over, you get them to piss in the jug as well if you've got a big load of washing to do. Right? He still does this, Kelly. The older the piss, the better. Why is a jug a better idea than a bucket?

So you can pour it on the stain. Yeah, but you would just soak the clothes in the water in the bucket. A bucket doesn't have a funnel lip, Kelly. Oh my goodness. If you haven't tried to pour from a bucket, you have to put it over the hole because it pours backwards a little bit. Jack knows what I'm talking about. I do know what you're talking about. It does get back to on you. It goes back tried to pour from a bucket, you have to put it over the hole because it pours backwards a little bit. Jack knows what I'm talking about.

I do know what you're talking about. It does get back to on you. It goes back. Try to pour a vase out into a glass. It sucks. It's a nightmare. A mason jar. You can't pour shit out of those. They're pointless.

Right? I think you would just drop some food on your pants, and you're like, oh, no, I got a stain. Then you just get super drunk until you piss yourself. Then you go. I think you just piss yourself, and then a and you're like, oh no, I got a stain. Then you just get super drunk until you piss yourself. I think you just piss yourself and then a woman would go like, ooh, someone's clean. It's so

hygienic. Deeper. If you don't see the piss mark, don't get the ring. Most homes didn't have indoor toilets. Where did they go to the bathroom? Outhouses? Wooden box with a crescent moon carved on the door?

Is this correct, Mina? So, yeah, that is correct. That's correct. More in the 19th century where people would have outhouses. In the 18th century, you would have a chamber pot, usually just made from wood. You would poop in that. And then sometimes you would poop in that and then sometimes

you would throw it out the window um sorry again you're throwing you're throwing shit out the window i cut you off sorry yeah yeah in scotland um in edinburgh you would shout guardy loo and then throw and that's how people knew that you're about to throw your shit out the window yeah so chamber pots in the 18th century. But yeah, people also used outhouses for a really, really long time. We had outdoor toilets even up until the 70s in the UK.

What did you call a small bit of piss in Scotland? I assume wee. So proud of himself. Wee, wee, yeah. Oh my God. Wait, who is is that who's breathing like that it's me me and jack we're both doing it we're laughing so hard we can't make noise yeah we were doing that the grinch when he laughs like that we haven't we haven't talked about iron brew on the show in a while i i've got a chamber pot thing that's always upset me I think I've discussed this

before but it makes me angry to this day when Heather Mills divorced Paul McCartney we all know that Heather

was missing a leg we all know that now it wasn't her legs it was just the leg

that she met early on in her life anyway she was missing a leg

and she said in her divorce from Paul McCartney that she wasn't allowed to have a bedpan in the bed to have a shit. He banned it, right? Fucking too right, Paul.

How dare she go to fucking court and say, and he wouldn't let me shit in the bed. If you're my wife and you want me to fuck you again, do not shit in the fucking bed. I don't care if you have one leg. It's Paul McCartney's house. He has an en suite. Get along.

Hop over there and have a fucking piss or a shit. Don't fucking pull up a pan and leave a steaming shit till the fucking morning. Love, you went on fucking... Yeah, yeah, but... You went on dancing with the stars. If you can do the tango, you can get to the fucking en suite. No, but she was missing the leg when he married her.

Yeah. She would have been doing this already, though. This would have been a practice that she was doing. No, you've got to change it. You've got to change- If you had a three-legged dog, you wouldn't let it shit in the house, would you, Forrest? No, that's a dog. That's different, though.

Like, I know how it is when you wake up in the middle. When I was young, when I was was like six I would piss in the corner of my room because I didn't want to make it all the way to the bathroom okay well this is a different this is a different problem

maybe we shouldn't take Forrest's opinion my dad pissed in a bottle in Forrest's car in Forrest's car without asking anybody whilst we were driving down to San Diego

we got caught in traffic and my dad just without talking he pulled his dick out. And Forrest had just inherited this car. His mother had just passed away. Brand new car for Forrest. And my dad pulls his dick out and starts pissing in a Coke bottle. Right?

Justin was there. No announcement to anyone. Starts pissing in a bottle. And I said, Dad, what the fuck are you doing? He goes, oh, I'm just having a wee. And I'm just like, well, just tell us. We'll pull over. And he goes, he's there having a piss.

And he says to me, he says very tenderly, he goes, I thought you wouldn't let me get out of the car for a wee because I never let you when you were a kid and told you to hold it. And I'm like, how nasty a cunt do you think I am that I'm like, ha-ha, payback. Let the old man's fucking kidneys explode. I don't give a shit. Yeah.

So he's a bottle pisser. Chamber pots. All right. But one more thing, Paul McCartney's ex, right? Okay. So Forrest,

you seem to be very defensive of people just shitting in the bed. I just know, I just know that when, when I wake up normally and I have two legs, i'm like oh i can't even really get up but you still don't shit in the bed do you yeah i don't i don't care if she had to crawl to the ensuite like the fucking terminator right you're not shitting in the bed end of well they're divorced so it's all good yeah um how often do people bathe me you know was it once a week so it depends so in the 18th century people didn't really bathe very much at all um and then into the 19th century it was similar but we bathed a little bit more often but if you were upper

class if you were lucky you'd get a bath a few times a month but if you were kind of an ordinary working person then maybe once every couple of weeks and then usually the bath water would be like shared with the whole family yeah as well that's where the term don't throw the baby out with the bath water because in poor families in ireland and whatnot they would have all the kids bathing in at once and the baby would be at the bottom of these catholic families and then they'd go to dump the water in it once and the baby would be at the bottom of these Catholic families. Murky water. They'd go to dump the water in a step and a baby would roll out.

They'd go, oh, fuck. It's truly that's where it comes from. Don't throw the baby out with the bathwater. Hold on a second. So when I smell if I don't shower, people just smelled. Okay, but the whole place stunk. There was shit in the street for us. There was shit in the street. Also. There was shit in the street.

Also, you know if you've ever been camping, you stink on the first day, and then you have a bit of a breakthrough day. And also, your hair, if you don't wash it, the oils in it will start washing itself eventually. But we wash it so much that we've broken down all these oils. Yeah, you're not supposed to wash your hair that often. You ask Bob Geldof.

He never fucking washes his hair, and it always looks good. I'm not concerned about my hair. I'm concerned about my crotch. That's what I'm concerned about. That was how it was. Everyone had stinky dicks. Mina, what were you going to say? I was going to say, so when it comes to the stinky dicks,

people did wash their crotches and their face and their hands at a basin each day. So people did wash, but they didn't bathe. So actually being submerged in water wasn't really something that happened very often but you had a basin to to wash so people would do that in the morning usually yeah and you could just do your pits and your face and what now i i don't want to actually say the term but what is the term when you have a bath just in the basin i know yeah it's a horse bath that's the one that we've always heard yeah it's when you've never heard the one that we've always heard yeah it's when

you've never heard that i'm just gonna have a horse but like after a prostitute like that's an actual term you go to the base you just wash your pits a bit with a cloth and you go i'm good to go i've had plenty of them horse bath the horse bath i was thinking of a different one that had had racist undertones oh no I've never heard that one. On Urban Dictionary, it's called a Mexican shower, and that's just putting perfume or cologne over. Yes, it's on Urban Dictionary. You seem to rattle that off pretty quick, Kelly Bear.

It's right here. Mexican shower. She's fast. Am I right that even up until the 1960s in Britain, they only bathed a couple of times a week. The UK had very lax bathing views in comparison to what Australia is. And that probably has something to do with Australia and heat and sweat and dust and all that type of stuff. We have more reason to bathe.

But am I right about that, that the British sort of bathed a lot less right up until the 60s or 70s? Yeah, yeah, you're totally right. It was, like, pretty common in the 60s and 70s to have a bath even, like, once a week. And you'd usually have it, you know, like, in a metal tub in front of the fireplace. Yeah, really quite lax bathing for the UK for quite a long time.

And everyone was wearing, men and women, full bush. Full bush. Hey. Full bush once a week. Once a week wash, full bush. Here's the once a week, once a week, wash full bush. Here's the thing though, is you feel so good after you take a bath or a shower or whatever. I would just think that when they were taking their once a week or once a month bath that they'd be like, this feels great. I'm going to do this more often, but.

Kids only need to bathe a couple of times a week. They don't sweat like we do. They don't stink like we do. I think they, once they get into puberty, it's horrendous, but up until about sort of nine, they don't need to bathe all the time. I remember being a kid and I used to bathe about twice a week. And then you'd have that Sunday night shower where your hair would be all slicked down, all wet because you washed your hair once a week and you'd sit in front of the heater. Wonderful times. I've been told I don't stink. That's what I've been told. It's because you wear women's perfume. No, I mean, if I don't stink. That's what I've been told. It's because you wear women's perfume. No, I mean, if I don't, I could not shower for like two or three days and I won't stink. Oh, if I'm nervous or ashamed or something, I get that fear sweat.

If I get that fear sweat, I just like a skunk, just go. Just stink. I remember once I was coming back from a gig and I did really badly and was at the festival and I felt really ashamed of how I performed and I stunk so bad that we got in the car and there was like a female comic that said, I have to get out and get into a different car. Wow.

And I knew it was me. That bad. I stunk. I stunk. Wow. But ordinarily, like if you ask Julia, I don't sweat very much. So like on the Jim Jefferies show, I never really needed patting down. A lot of performers need to be patted down all the time.

Like that Pavarotti. His dick must have smelt. If you saw all the fucking patting down of that guy's forehead when he hit those top notes, he must have had a stinky Italian penis on him, Pavarotti. Why did women bathe in chests and why were sheets used in baths? Jim said because they if they bathed together they would sink their cycles and it would become a blood bath finish

the joke forest it's in the notes it's in there it's there yeah so yeah that's not that's not quite it so the shifts were um underwear so it was a chemise it was basically like a white nightgown that you would wear underneath your clothes and And it was mainly upper-class women that would wear them while they were bathing, partly because of, like, a modesty thing, because they had lots of servants around them. Sometimes they would use lead weights to weigh down the shift so it didn't float up in the bath. And then sheets were used in the bath just, like, practically

so that people didn't like burn their delicate parts if it was like a metal tub oh so shifts shifts were like something they would wear okay i thought it was shifts like that yeah and then and then so if the metal was hot they put the sheets down in the yes before they had real tubs or not real like tubs like we have. Yeah, exactly. How old were you when you stopped bathing with your siblings? I don't know. You can remember it though, right? I can remember bathing with my brother when I was like six and he was like 10 or something.

First or second grade, somewhere in there. I can remember doing that. We used to do that thing where you soaked up each other's backs and then you drew a number and you had to guess what number it was. Fun times. Oh, that is pretty good. We're doing the bubble bath beard and hair. Oh, yeah, we did all that.

We did all that. Well, even with your kids, it's like you bathe with them for a certain amount of time and then you go, all right, can't do that anymore. Now it's weird. I don't have any siblings, so my mom just invited the neighbors over for a bit. I also remember that, like like when you were a little little

kid and you went in the shower with your mom or your dad and you'd stand there and you'd be at dick level and they'd wash your hair and you'd be like oh all right here we go you know because because they're just trying to get through the day and get fucking both of you washed fast or whatever yeah i remember that i remember my brother once made me sit on the drain pipe with my bare ass probably why i have hemorrhoids to this day, and I'd sat there and then he'd fill the water and then see how much suction I could get with my ass and see how high the water could get.

The holidays aren't a slave pay. That's good. Just fun games. So much water wasted. What did they think hot water would do to them um jim said they would have gotten hysterical that's what women feared hysteria yeah so to be fair they did like blame most things on hysteria but the hot water was a general across the board thing men and women it comes from miasma theory so they thought that the hot water would open your pores and leave you more susceptible to disease things like the plague

so that's why for a long time in the early modern period people didn't bathe that much because we actually did used to bathe a lot you know with roman bath houses we bathed a lot in the medieval period but then once they started to associate water with disease then we stopped bathing so much especially in hot water didn't people like just realize that if you went to the beach you smelt better like i guess in london that was you couldn't swim in the thames it was filled with shit yeah exactly so you want to go down to brighton in the cold and then step on the pebbles and go oh this is so relaxing by the seaside. Yeah, so, yeah, I imagine that Australians probably smelt

a little better because we were just going down to Bondi. He was the bloke who owned the bath shop. How did women deal with period cramps, Jim said, with a hot water bottle? Hot water bottle and complaining. Well, yeah, and complaining well yeah and complaining yeah season yeah so the hot water bottle as we know it i mean it wasn't really invented until i think it was like 1903 um so we didn't really have that so before then the kind of painkillers that women

took were different in the 18th century people went absolutely crazy for laudanum, which is basically just opium soaked in alcohol. So some women would use that as like a painkiller during their period. Cannabis was also used. They were taking opium and cannabis just like this. Oh, my period. They're fucking heating up a spoon. Oh, this period's a tricky one one didn't you have your period last week

another period Queen Victoria was actually prescribed cannabis by her personal doctor for her period cramps oh really Queen Victoria does that work now weed yeah people use weed for period

I know but for period cramps. I don't know. I've never heard that women. I do feel sorry for women in period cramps. Like, I've dated enough women to know that there's some women who are just like, I've got my period. And there's other women who it's hell for. Yeah.

Like, it mustn't be fun. It's hell. Yeah. So, do you look at those women? Like, Kelly or Mina, do you look at women? I don't know how your periods are, but, like, if you have a bad one, you look at other women, like Kelly Romina? Do you look at women? I don't know how your periods are, but if you have a bad one and you look at other women, you must hate them then. Yeah, it sucks for people.

Mine are fucking hell. And for people that are like, oh, yeah, I don't get cramps, I'm like, die, die. I'll tell you what I reckon there's more women have than men. I reckon more women have migraines than men. Is that a stat? I don't know if it's a stat i would i would i don't know if it's a stat but i would say that that's probably true it might just be people who live

with me the only thing i can relate to as far as the period cramps would be like people that i can't sleep on airplanes so when i see people that can't sleep on airplanes i get upset at them i just sleep at them they're like sleeping this. I'm like, look at this asshole, just time traveling. He's going to wake up 12 hours later and be there. I'm like, dickhead. Just get the flatbed first.

Just be rich. Have you tried that? No, I can't sleep with my head back unless I'm completely flat. I feel like I'm choking. If I'm sort of seated upright. So I sleep forward with my hand like this holding my head and when I fall asleep and occasionally I go you gotta get that pillow that you put on the table

and just put your face in it used to be in that the SkyMall catalog whatever happened to SkyMall catalogs I never bought anything but I loved a good read I think we just pinpointed the problem. What did women use as pads? Was it sheep?

Different sizes. Yeah, so did Jim say lamb? Yeah, lamb. He said sheeps and lambs. He was talking about the whole animal. Sheep and lamb are the same animal. Just young, old and young. Sheep, yeah.

Well, sheep and lamb are the same animal. It's young, old and young. Sheep, yeah. So for period pads, women would use linen rags or like sections of their apron, hence the term on the rag, which is where it comes from. Sections of their apron? Yeah, they would use aprons. So they would tie it around themselves. And then usually usually the clothes had many layers in the 18th century

and in the Victorian period. So you would wear your shift over the top and then your skirts. And then, yeah. Surely there must have been... It's interesting that you said the lamb thing because just going back to the toilet paper thing, upper class people sometimes wipe their butt with lambswool. Yeah, that'd be good.

That sounds nice, yeah. There should be many other inventions they could have used, you know, if not for a lamb, using just a rag. All right, hear about this. How about a bucket with a handle on it, and you have a clip ring, and you put it through there, and the bucket just hangs down? Yeah, that sounds comfortable.

That sounds kind of, yeah, painful. Yeah, but it's recyclable. Yeah, you sounds comfortable. That sounds kind of, yeah, painful. Yeah, but it's recyclable. Yeah, you're reusing it. You just invented the diva cup. Yeah, I was going to say the diva cup. The diva cup looks uncomfortable. What's the diva cup? It's like a silicone cup that you shove up there and it catches the blood.

Oh, I've never understood all these wacky things, the bloody diaphragms and all this stuff. No, this is for periods. See, he doesn't get it. I don't get it. I don't get it. You don't need to know about balls and I don't need to know about you and we'll all get along just fine.

But the Diva Cup looks uncomfortable to me. I mean, I've just seen it. I don't know. My opinion, one man's opinion. All right. Victorian women gave this odd thing as gift to their lovers was it a used tampon no so it wasn't a used tampon but it was um a bodily related and genital related thing um so this is upper class women only and it was for part of gentlemen's clubs but they would give their pubic hair so yeah they just give them a pile of pubic hair yeah so they would give their pubic hair as a little gift

and then the men would wear it as like a cockade they would like pin it to their hat um is it like made into a wig or something or is it just like a bunch of loose hair probably bundled and tied together yeah just like just like a tie together a bit of hair and then they would pin it to their hat and it was supposed to be like a it could be a brag of like the sexual you know part oh i had sex with her or whatever but sometimes it was like they thought of it as a talisman that would give them good luck you ever go

you ever go urinal you look at the porcelain and there's a full size pube on there right short and curly and you're like I thought everyone was trimming these days who is this bloke with his fucking 5 inch fucking hair

that's just, just me? He just had one long strand. Do you shave your armpits first? No. Do you clip them? I've started clipping them. No, I don't do anything to them. I don't think at the moment. Why would you clip them? Because they're like long. Oh my god. Did you just pull out an armpit hair?

Wow. Now Jack. Whoa, you pulled out like a clump. That's a lot. Don't leave that on the couch. Okay, I feel like I'm going to throw up. Jack, you want to wear that on your hat? I am so good. Thank you so much. How did that not hurt? Oh.

Oh. Ew. That's a full clump. Yeah, it's armpit hair. Yeah, we know. Oh, my God. Moving on. What did people use for deodorant?

Did they rub some flowers on it or put some wax? Did you rip hair out of your body? I used to sit there with a cigarette lighter and burn my chest hair and then put it out with my hands. What? Because I enjoyed the smell. What the fuck? I'm a weird guy.

No, I'm kidding. We're sponsored by BetterHelp. I'm putting this. The manscape. Yeah, the manscape. I'll dreadlock it. Oh my Godped. Yeah, in the Manscaped. I'll dreadlock it. Oh, my God.

All right, while you're doing that, Jim, Mina, what do people use for deodorant? Do they rub flowers on their armpits or do they put wax? Gif it later. So flowers is pretty close. People would use, they would make essential oils out of lavender. They would make rose water, that kind of thing so flowers were definitely involved um why are they called essential oils why aren't they just called oils you might like

to have essential means that you can't live without them or is it like the essence of the the flower oh yeah like essential yeah rather than it being like an essential item. Because that's the thing with children. Like when they're at four, you have to really teach them the difference between wants and needs. Yeah. I need this toy. So you're going to die if you don't have it.

Yep. I think you just want it. Nope. Need it. Need it. And was there anything else they used? Was it essential oils is what they did mainly? Yeah, mainly essential oils

I don't really know about the wax actually I think wax would work Yeah, sounded good to me How many steps Sorry, go ahead I was going to say they would also use things like citrus and rosemary in perfumes.

Yeah, that sounds pretty good, actually. Who, in your opinion, was the cleanest nation in the 1700s, in the 1800s? Who were the cleanest people? In the 18th century? Yeah. Well, most of my knowledge is sort of Western history, so I can't really speak for the rest of the world. I do know that in the Middle East,

they were very clean when it came to washing their ass, for example. They didn't use toilet paper. Yeah, I feel like the Egyptians were being pretty clean. There's always water jugs in those hieroglyphics. There's always a water jug. Okay, I'll ask the next question. Who was the cleanest people in the UK? water jugs in those like hieroglyphics. There's always a water jug, you know. Okay, I'll ask the next question. Who is the cleanest people in the UK and who is the, yeah,

who is the cleanest people in the UK, the Scots, the Welsh or the English? We won't include Northern Ireland. It's made it too difficult. I don't know if any of them are cleaner than other people. I suppose if you had more access to be able to bathe outdoors, and like you were saying, if you're nearer to the sea. But in general, most of the hygiene practices between Scotland, England, and Wales were quite similar. I think the Scots were probably the cleanest

because they had all the sheep. Oh, I was going to say the Scottish because they had the kilts. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're free-balling. I was going to say the Scottish because they had the kilts. Yeah, yeah. They'd be able to cut out. They're free-balling. A Scottish penis in the 1800s was every woman's dream. Just a big ginger bush with a little pale knob hanging out that's been free-balling underneath some coarse tartan.

Like, that's a calloused penis underneath tartan. You rub any part of your body all day against tartan like that's a calloused penis underneath tartan you rub you rub any part of your body all day against tartan it'll build up a nice callous on it you could you could you could bend a needle prick on the end of a penis it would just it would just boom boom there were some men used to wear thimbles on the end of their dicks just to keep them supple. Like a helmet. Yeah. Fact. Yeah. That's a deleted scenes from Braveheart.

Yeah. They'll never take our thimbles. How many steps were involved in doing a load of laundry and how long would it take? Jim said six steps. Six steps. I'd say six, six steps is pretty accurate. Like six or seven steps, yeah. So first you would make your soap.

So you would make a soap called lye, which you would use by taking ash from the fire. And pissing on it. And then filtering it. No, we're not pissing on it. But the piss is part of one of the next steps. So you would then scrub the clothes, and then you would soak them in the urine, usually for like a day or so.

You'd bash them with a bat called a beetle to get out all of the dirt. And then you'd spin it, rinse it, and then spin it around a ringing post. That's like your spin cycle. And then you'd hang it over like a hedge to dry. that's like your spin cycle and then you'd hang it over like a hedge to dry so the whole thing took about two to two days it was quite a quite a long time I tell you what like your cleaner she would have been well hydrated hey and she comes in to wash your clothes yeah just be in the corner just sculling Evian and I'm like you could use that to wash the clothes, that every year. No, no, no.

I use it to make piss to wash the clothes. It's more sanitary. Yeah, more sanitary. Then I beat it up with a stick with coal on it and hang it on. What's those things, those big long things you put in the fire with coal, they shoved them under the beds? I always saw them hitting things. Did that help dry things?

Is that something? You know what I mean? You know, like the bed pan, the bed warmer? You know what I mean? It's like a circle disc pan, the bed warmer? You know what I mean? It's like a circle disc. It looks like a large banjo. Yeah. Yeah, it's like a bed pan.

Yeah, it's like a bed pan. You fill it with coals. You shove that in your bed. It's amazing to me that these people weren't all burnt to death all the time. They're walking around in long clothes with a hat, with a fucking that hangs down to their stomach, with a candle.

With a tuft of pubes on it. With a floppy fabric, yeah, with pubes on their head, right? Shoving coals into their bed. Smoking a pipe. How these people all didn't burn to death is beyond me. There actually was quite an issue in the Victorian era with women burning, with their dresses getting set on fire because they would wear crinoline skirts,

which are these like structured petticoats that tied at the waist underneath your dress so when you went through near a fire it was really easy for it to get caught on fire and you couldn't take it off it's pretty dark god so yeah brought the conversation down these people burnt to death so it took two days to wash a load of clothes it's a long time how often would clothes get These people burnt to death. It happened. Peace be with you. So it took two days to wash a load of clothes. It's a long time. How often would clothes get washed? And how many days would you wear like an outfit or clothes?

Jim said you'd wear it for a week. You did two loads a month. So your underclothes, which was your shift or chemise, that was just what people wore as their undergarments in the 18th century those are washed about like once a week to every 10 days as often as you could wash them but outer clothes weren't washed at all so they were uh treated for stains um chalk was used to remove stains they would steam steam the garments to get rid of the stains um but it was just their underclothes that they washed in the 18th century. Like all my leather jackets. Have you ever tried to get a leather jacket dry cleaned?

They look at you like, oh, we've got to send it to a place. We have a specialist. We have a special place. And then it's like 80 bucks or some shit. You do your suede jacket at the old NBC lot. They go, we've got to send this to our suede person. I'm like, oh, okay. If you wear suede, and I wear lots of suede jackets,

you can never wash them. You just fucking stink them up. Sometimes I wear a leather jacket on stage until it just stinks and chuck it. Did people wear underwear? Jim said no. They free-balled or they wore pantaloons. Pantaloons.

Pantaloons. Yeah, so men wore drawers, which are just kind of like long cotton boxes. But women didn't really wear underwear until sort of the latter half of the 19th century when women started to wear drawers as well. And they were like two pieces of material together, but they were crotchless so that you could pee easily. And why did they make

that big change so you didn't shit on your dresses um i'm actually not sure because for a really long time we just didn't wear underwear well i still don't understand why people wear underwear in certain conditions now like i don't you know what i mean like like if i had if i had boobs i don't think i'd wear a bra all the time it feels like it would get in the way mind you i've never had boobs so i don't know how you know but i reckon that seems like a very restrictive outfit bras suck yeah so ladies if you're out there i say it's okay for you not to wear bras anymore for your own comfort a lot a lot of women are going nothing for me nothing for me you get shit talked if your nipples show they think it's they think it's inappropriate aren't there little sticky things you could put on it yeah you

can wear pasties kelly stop being stop being hysterical go have a warm shower go have a cold shower although just do you guys remember watching Friends when they would have the fake nipples on? I've never heard of this show. What are you talking about? Wait, what do you mean fake nipples? They put fake nipples on them? Yeah, like when you see

scenes of Jennifer Aniston and Lisa Kudrow and they've got... They were like fake nipples that they would put on. Her nipples were always hard in that show. Oh, I thought she just said, I thought she was just always excited or always cold on set. Why would they put fake ones? Why would they do that for?

That's wild. Are we known as for a fact? Or is this just an urban legend? I'll look up France fake nipples. No, it's true because sometimes they'll be wonky from scene to scene. Yeah, true, because sometimes they'll be wonky from scene to scene. Yeah, but sometimes real nipples can be wonky from scene to scene. Yeah, but they don't change position. I think Jennifer Aniston, I just put up a Cosmopolitan article,

and I think Jennifer Aniston said it. Ah, that's going to ruin everything. All these wanks have been pointless. Or she just said that to get people to stop wanking. I haven't read the whole article, but I think it's legit. I don't think she'd be upset if someone had a wank about that. I'd love if I knew women had a wank. Watching one of my comedy specials,

and they just looked around, and then they lifted one leg up on the side of the couch and had a fiddle you would question that woman oh she's mentally ill but i would take i would take the compliment i wouldn't be like how dare you clearly hysterical i think she's saying because then some people said she cut holes in her bra and then she said said, hey, it's just a thing. What I don't know what to tell you. I'm supposed to be ashamed of them. It's just the way breasts are. So I don't know.

I get enough time to read through all these Friends articles. There's a lot of Friends nipples articles out there. I haven't contacted Brad Pitt for a while, but I'll ask him. So I was watching Friends. Brad, I need a favor. Can uh well i've got an argument happening and uh i need uh some inside uh what are perfume gloves jim said you put a bit of lavender on the tips of the fingers will smell good when you give a hand job this is correct partial credit i mean i don't know about the handjob bit but they were used

to make people smell better but yeah they were they were usually soaked in some kind of concoction there's one from the victorian era where they used angelica water rose water ambergris which is made from the intestines of a sperm whale um and then also musk which is from like the musk gland of a deer and then you mix all that together soak your gloves in it and then you'd smell nice the next day was the indian technique of eat food with one hand you wipe your ass with the other hand right which is still done in poverty stricken bits of india which is a lot of it was that was that adopted or here in the West were we just shitting and eating with both hands?

Yeah, in the West, as far as I'm aware, it was the eating and shitting with both hands. Yay. In India, that's been a thing for a long time where you eat with – you have a dominant hand and then you wipe your ass with the other hand. Yeah. Yeah, we were gross.

Yeah, we were just shitting and eating. That's what freedom is, baby. What were STIs called? Jim said itchy cunt and drippy dick. Itchy cunt and drippy dick. They were called venereal disease. Oh, they're still called venereal disease. Yeah, but that's what they referred to it as.

They didn't understand the concept of it being, yeah, like a transmitted infection. They put it on the women is what you're saying. So they made it sound like it's just coming from the women. I've never understood why. Like that's proof right there there's no fucking God. Like the idea that the most pleasurable thing that a human can be can make you sick as a fucking dog and die,

and you can hurt other people well it's because dumbass eve took the apple she didn't do that is it a each fault yeah that's new who was she adam's wife oh i thought he's a sister or something were they white husband well she came from his rib yeah it came from his rib what was all that about it's kind of weird technically like his daughter it's a weird start and then they had two sons like do the math

and then the one son killed the other one it's a bad family where are these other women I know that one of them walked into the bush and found another bird she was just there

he walked into the he walked into the forest and there was another girl waiting for him that was when that was like season three when they were writing this fucking miniseries and they went,

oh, we got to introduce a new character. I just find her in the woods. The original writers were better with the ribs and all that. Yeah, she's in the woods. By the way, I don't think you'd find a doctor that would call it venereal disease anymore. I always thought it was venereal disease. It's venereal disease.

VD. VD. I always VD. STDs. STDs. VDs. Because I've told you, I told you my, one of my drag queen names.

I've got a couple of drag queen names. When you watch enough RuPaul's Drag Race, you start thinking, what's your drag race name's going to be? And one of my names is Sandy Bollocks. Right? Like Sandra Bollocks. Sandra Bollocks.

Right? Sandy Bollocks. That's a good one. And then I've got another one that's Est este like este lauda right este d that's my other one that's the other one it's good yeah why was gonorrhea called the clap and uh you want one jack i'll make one up for you what you got uh The penetration's already taken. I'll come up with you. Okay.

Yeah. Why was gonorrhea called a clap? I don't really want to repeat this answer. Yeah, thank you. Repeat it. It's the show, Forrest. It's the show. I don't remember what he said.

We have a formula. If you ran fast enough, it'd make the sound with a sticky mucus. Oh, yeah. I think I said pus. It was mucus. You did not say pus I'm going to say sticky pus change my answer

why was gonorrhea called the clap lock it in so it is actually pus related yeah pus pus pus got the clap so this is just one theory

there's several different potential origins of gonorrhea being referred to as the clap. One is that doctors would get the penis and then smack it with something really heavy like a book to release the pus. The clap. Oh, yeah, that would work. Because they didn't have antibiotics. Did you just die from it or did it go away after six years or something?

How did you get rid of it? People use mercury quite often. People would. Then you go insane. Then you lose your mind. Sometimes they would inject mercury into the urethra. Mercury's in penis grade. Yeah yeah but doesn't mercury what are the side effects of mercury like tremors and so on memory loss cognitive motors function

you get madness like the mad hatter they use mercury to stiffen the brims of hats and that's why he was crazy oh Oh. Okay. Here we go. What is Bordaloo? I don't know if I'm saying that right. Bordaloo. Bordaloo. Yeah, Bordaloo. Yeah.

What is Bordaloo? What did Jim say? I said it was a guy called Luis who's trying to get into Mexico. Yeah, that was wrong. Bordaloo. All right. We didn't even need to repeat that one because it was wrong. Yeah, no.

So a bordelou was a receptacle for a woman to pee in, like on the go. So it kind of looked like a gravy boat and it was made of porcelain. And it was so women could pee while they were standing up easier. Or if they were traveling in a carriage, they could pee into it. Oh, the original shiwi. Yeah, right. original shiwi. Yeah, right. The shiwi. And then there's that stuff that women spray in toilets

to make their poo not smell. Poopery. Poopery. Yeah, like what are you doing? Just live your life, man. I had a girl that I needed to have a shit and I went on a date with her. My friend Bambi, we never really got together, but I went on a date with her.

And I went over to her house and she was cooking for me and I was like oh okay I go how long is dinner and she goes oh about 40 minutes I go okay I gotta go to the bathroom then she goes what are you doing in there I gotta do a shit you know she that was the end of the date man when you gotta go you gotta go she goes you're not shitting in my house where do you want me to shit then I need to shit why can could you shit in the house wait what she said you couldn't shit in the house i couldn't shit in the house that's insane she paul mccartney news i wasn't doing it on the coffee table yeah but still that was her stand she would don't shit in this house yeah she goes i don't want to smell your shit was a one-bedroom apartment but there was the breaks my wife if she has to shit right and she i've still not smelt one because i have to go for a walk if i'm in a

hotel room i have to go for a walk wow i have to go for a walk while she has a shit where if it's the middle of the night oh i have to go for a walk there's no way around this. I've tried to go, I don't care, you know, but it's like one of my happiest times in my life is when my wife lets out a fart by accident. That brings me so much joy because the shame on her face is just too – So messed. She can't do it. She can't do it. It's a mental block.

Now's a part of our show called dinner party facts we ask our guests to give us uh some sort of fact obscure interesting that that our listening audience can use to impress people uh what do you got for us mina so uh in the 18th century people used to bring pineapples to parties um pineapples were like expensive, so they were seen as a status symbol. You could rent one and take it on a night out with you. If you wanted to buy one, it would cost, like in

modern day money, about $8,000. What? In modern day money, $8,000 because it came all the way from the Pacific or something. What do you mean they wouldn't eat it no it's just there no people people wouldn't eat it it was it was just uh just to signify how wealthy you were that you could bring a pineapple to a party

so you could rent it for an evening do you think rolex's cost of fire do you think that has anything to do with uh pineapples being the symbol for swingers nowadays? That's what I was thinking. Oh, I don't know. Maybe. Because that pineapple's upside down, right? Yeah. Yeah.

If you have an upside down pineapple, that means you're a swinger. In your cart? Well, no. Just like some people have flags outside of their house. I know how you feel about flags or decor outside of their house. And if it's flipped upside down, that's supposed to signify that that house is a swinger house. Why don't you just put a pineapple out there?

Why upside down? I guess, I mean, yeah, I don't know why you would have a regular pineapple on their porch. I don't know. I'm not a swinger. I didn't make this up, but that's supposedly what the pineapple is. Here's another way to make money. You go back in time with pineapples. Yeah.

I'm always thinking of that. Seriously. Okay, so if they're $8,000 to buy, I reckon to rent one's going to cost you $500, right? Because they have to get, because the pineapple's only going to last a couple of weeks. You've got to rent it out every day. Yeah.

You know what I mean? Maybe more, $1,000 to rent one. I'm sorry, this pineapple's booked up for three weeks straight. And what about that one that's got furry mold on it? Can I get that for $500? Get a discount. Yeah, yeah. It's got a bad side, but I'll just hold it.

This one was dropped at a party. Can I get a discount? Or if you buy a pineapple for $8,000, you'd have to, you know, fuck, you want to go to a lot of parties that week. You wouldn't want to go to one. Or you could rent it out yourself. You want to book yourself up for a fucking pineapple fest. You could maybe hollow one out and fill it with concrete or something. I reckon if you want to act like a real rich cunt,

you just come in with your pineapple and you just have it cut up into like a plastic tray and then you're just eating it with a fork like you've just come straight from Whole Foods. That person there, that person there, and then you'd come along, you'd have your big tub of pineapple, you'd be eating it, and then there'd be some pretentious hipster cunt in the corner of the party and he'd be like eating watermelon going, oh, you're still eating pineapple?

Watermelon. Watermelon's everything. Thank you for being here, Mina. Some fucking loser in the corner with cantaloupe that fucking div and then that one rich cunt who comes in wearing a mango like a watch if you want to check out more by mina uh for um about history and hygiene and women's history. Go to her TikTok channel at HistoryHo101 and join her there for more fun stuff and information. Thank you for being here, Mina.

Thank you. Yeah, thanks so much for having me. Thanks for being on the podcast. We had a good time. We hope you did too. And to all the people who are listening, thank you so much. Subscribe to our Patreon. We are taking some time off in the new year because we're off doing other things and projects,

but we will be back. And if you subscribe to the Patreon and we are not on the air, we won't be charging you. So what a deal. Yeah, patreon.com slash idcat. You'll get a couple of episodes in December for free. December, two episodes for free. Ladies and gentlemen, if you're ever at a party and someone brings a pineapple, go,

I don't know about that, you rich cunt. And walk away. Good night. you