I Don't Know About That - Penguins

Episode Date: April 4, 2023

Jim may be dressed like a penguin, but he definitely doesn't know as much about them as our expert Dr. Greg Cunningham does. Jim's new special "High & Dry" is now available on Netflix! Subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com/IDKAT for ad free episodes, bonus episodes, and more exclusive perks! Tiers start at just $2! ADS: ShipStation: Go to ShipStation.com and use code JIM today and sign up for your FREE 60-day trial.

When it comes to saving money as a small business owner, every little bit helps. When you lower your shipping costs and make returns easier, customers stay happy while you save money. Worry less about the bottom line when you save money with ShipStation.com. Go to ShipStation.com and use the code JIM today and sign up for a free 60-day trial at ShipStation.com. Code Jim. The Alps. The Himalayas. The Andes. Why don't we just call them Big Hills?

You might find out, and I don't know about that, with Jim Jefferies. Good morning wherever you are. Welcome to the podcast. Glad to have you with us. I'm joined by Kelly, Forrest, and Jack on another adventures of I Don't Know About That. What's this? That's a really pleasant voice.

I'm trying to do my NPR voice. Why don't you guys match in his energy? Yeah, we should speak to each other like this from now on. Okay. And just go, Forrest, you're wearing a smart hat today. It's orange. Hmm. Different.

This is a little bit of ASMR. Oh, okay. Hi. Now you've turned up your car radio. Jesus Christ. Nobody likes that. No, no one likes that Bit of fun though for me

I say either Bit of fun for everybody My fans Well go ahead and dig Into your roast beef sandwich Because other things People don't like Is eating in the microphone

Top round man They took that out of LA man I was fucking upset Bill's Burgers So we've been talking About Bill's Burgers For a very long time He's never gone

I text Forrest Because me and Forrest follow this Instagram account, this guy that just talks about LA. LA Minute. Oh, yeah, yeah. Let's get into it. He goes, let's get into it. Oh, that guy. Yeah.

He went to Bill's Burgers. But he's running out of things in LA because now he's not. He goes, I'm out here at the front of Bill's Burgers. I'm here with Bill. He's 96 years old, and we're going to tell his stories. And then Bill's standing there like this. He goes, let's go to the door. Yeah, Bill says, let's go to the door.

He was married five times. He's been married five times. Five times. And he's got a wife now. He's got like a Japanese name, like Kikuro or something like that. No, no, no. He said that was a, I don't know if he's married to her anymore. Well, she's there.

Ah, okay. But for one, I... I don't know if he's married to her anymore. Well, she's there. Ah, okay. But for one... I didn't... You didn't... I guess you didn't know. It used to be called Bill's and Kikuro's. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Briefly, for a little bit.

Oh. Like, straight after he got married, he was like, all right, I'll put your bloody name on it. Anyway, she's still there putting the cheese on. And he sits on a milk crate every now and again off to the side. But we found out the cooker that he has on it is a 100-year-old cooker. And he reckons that's the secret sauce. Wow. Is that the thing has he has on it is a hundred year old cooker and he reckons that's the secret sauce is that the thing has the meat on there

because he bought the stand at first I was thinking you meant a cook that was a hundred years old I was like a 96 year old and a hundred year old well here's the thing I've never seen Bill, I haven't been yet when I saw that video

he hates me because I got no pickles. He just looks at me like I'm the devil. He's fucking ruining my day. No, but I've never seen him. And when I watch that video, I'm like, I need to go soon. He's going to die. Oh, yeah, yeah. He can die any day.

We keep putting off going to Bill's Burgers. Are we closer to Bill's now than ever? No, no, no. It's near. It's very close. Yeah, but I think right now it's the closest our studio's ever been to bill my house is closer yeah okay i could go i'm not going wow yeah the old studio and that we had uh for a year was closer yeah yeah that one was close we just haven't gone jack we just haven't

gone i've been my one of my doctors that i have to go see i got like for attending in my hand he's right next to bills and then every time i get like because bill's there from like 8 a. in my hand. He's right next to Bill's. And then every time I get like, because Bill's there from like 8 a.m. to 4 p.m., right? And I go there at like 9 a.m. for a burger with Bill's. You call me one day when you're going to go. You just have to call us. Like one day when you're in the mood. Yeah.

Just group text. We're going to Bill's Burger. I live really close to it. Like if I'm in town. It's good. I love how you're like the LA guy ran out of things to talk about. We've talked about Bill's record on 15 episodes. But we've never mentioned.

Nobody on this podcast cares about Bill. How Mulholland got the water from the hills. We've never done anything technical. He does technical things. And we've just latched onto. Let's get it. Every time I've seen Bill, I'm scared to talk to him. How did that guy go up to Bill and go, I do an Instagram account?

Yeah. What? Yeah. I do an Instagram account, and it's about LA, and will you be on it? Why? And then, like, the young bloke who works at the counter is like, Instagram's like a thing. Yeah, this guy's pretty popular.

So then maybe he'll do our Patreon interview. Yeah, yeah. And then he just goes, and he goes, and at the end, you say, let's get into it and kick your head the end you say, let's get into it and kick your head back into your screen. Let's get into it. He's a World War II vet, man.

And he's still cooking. Like literally cooking. Yeah. I don't know if you, are we allowed to play his? Yeah, we're advertising his Instagram account. Of course we're allowed.

And Bill's. It's public domain. I actually hit up. I don't know about that. He writes his own Instagram, right? I don't know about that. You don't know? I don't know about that.

You know if you can? I don't know about that. I think you can. This is your LA in a Minute, and I'm here with Van Nuys at Bill's Burger with the legend himself, Bill Elwell, who has been making amazing burgers since 1965 at one of LAs best burger spots,

and I want to tell you the history. Let's get into it. Adorable. I love him. By the way, the Instagram account is called L.A. in a Minute. It's L.A. in a Minute is the handle. And his name's Evan Lovett. And it's... It's everything in a minute. I handle um and his name's evan love it and it's it's everything i was gonna try to get him for yeah we talked about getting him on the podcast even if you

don't live in an la it's interesting but it's all stuff about la but he's he's he's become very popular so anyways we'll yeah i was following it i didn't know forrest was following it i was telling him an interesting thing about la that i learned off that thing and then forrest already seen it yeah let's't know about it. Let's get into it. So you are currently back from your England tour. Yes. I'm back in America.

Freedom. You just got back from Dublin. I got back from Dublin. Diddly diddly diddly diddly freedom. So you're relaxing. I'm relaxing for two weeks. You guys are going to make me do 15 podcasts. Yeah, we have a lot of podcasts. We have six podcasts scheduled.

I'm going to have two weeks off to spend with my children before I duck off again. A couple hours. And nah, nah, off I go again. That's when we'll go to Bill's. Yeah, I love Bill's. Yeah, so we'll try to get to Bill's. I can't take Hank to Bill's because Hank's a very particular burger, you know, like how he wants it because he's a kid. Bill's not going to fuck around with Hank's order.

Could you maybe like pick everything off quickly before you hand it to him? No, no, no. He would know. Bill's is just a solid burger. I had In-N-Out today. Still me fave of all time, the In-N-Out. I've traveled the world. I've had burgers.

My brother's very, and you had mentioned this, there's one in Queenstown, New Zealand called Fur Burger. Fur Burger, yeah. Everyone's obsessed with. Yeah. And my brother went there and wasown, New Zealand called Fur Burger. Fur Burger, yeah. Everyone's obsessed with. And my brother went there and was like, best burger. And I'm just like, yeah. I don't know how he waited. The line is incredibly long.

I've been there twice. I've been by it twice, yeah. Well, we didn't have time. We had to do some shit. But yeah, Bill's is where, and when you go to Bill's, he'll have a basket of grapefruit. He's obviously got a grapefruit tree. But he's trying to get rid of it.

That's the side hustle. He doesn't do fries. No, he just gives away the grapefruits. Yeah, you can have a grapefruit with your burger. A delicious pairing. One per purchase. Yeah, yeah. You can take a grapefruit.

But there's always like, well, last time I was there, and there was like some Mexican mexican sort of gang looking sort of fellas covered in tattoos and the bandanas and that type of stuff but when you're at bills you can all look at each other like you know we're in the same company you're on the same gang we know yeah you're in the car park eating your burger and you look at them and you wink and you're like we know about bills um and hope after Bill passes, it still keeps going. He says it's not. What?

He says, this company dies with me. That's why he doesn't have any of the cooks. He's the only one who can cook the burgers. What about Heroku? We have to go now. What about Heroku? What happens with that? He said, no one else makes them the same as him.

This ends when I die. We literally have to go in April. Yeah, we have to go before you go to Europe. Me and Jack have been together. I know, but- Right after our COVID shots. Yeah, yeah, to go before you go to Europe. Me and Jack have been together. I know, but right after our COVID shots. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We have to record it.

After our COVID shots, we went and Bill's made it taste even better. Couldn't smell it. We're running out of time. Yeah, we have to go. Before you go to Europe, we're going to go there.

IDCat podcast on Instagram and our Patreon. Patreon.com slash IDCat. There you go. What happens when he's sick? I think it's just shut down. Like his hours, he just hand writes, I'm closing at two today. You know?

His hours are diminishing. He's got cardboard over the top of the regular hours. It's an AM burger only. Yeah, exactly. He doesn't work like Fridays and Saturdays. It's like Monday to Thursday. It's like, it's a real. Eight to two, I think, were the hours.

Aaron, have you ever partaked in bills? No. No. All right, we'll have to bring Aaron. We'll bring one for the hours Aaron have you ever partaked in bills no alright we'll have to bring Aaron bring one for you Aaron you ever heard of bills no he's going to have to come let's get into it

let's get into the episode I love it let's do some ads here let's get into it economy eh up down money going here

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and sign up for your free 60-day trial. That's two months. Two months. That's ShipStation.com, code JIM. Please welcome our guest, Dr. Greg Cunningham. G'day, Dr. Greg. Now it's time to play... Yes, no.

Yes, no. Yes, no. Yes, no. Judging a. Yes, no. Yes, no. Judging a book by its cover. All right. All right. Let me have a look at Dr. Greg. He's in a blurry world.

Dr. Greg Cunningham. Yeah, he's in a blurry world. He's... I can't do anything from his background, but he did say when we just got him online that he's a student, so I'm going to say he's a professor in some kind of you a professor great indeed I am okay at a university I assume because that's where

the professors always hang out they never they never there in the preschool sometimes colleges though I don't even know what they are I still don't understand the American school system. Sophomores, middle schools. College and university, you don't know the difference? No. I mean, I'm sure Dr. Cunningham tells us. I just think it's a matter of degree, like, masters and PhDs, right?

That's not the question. Yeah, you can answer that. Okay, thanks. At least in the state in which I live, answer that. Okay, thanks. At least in the state in which I live, the colleges can become universities once they deliver a sufficient number of doctoral degrees. I should have known that. I actually didn't know there was a degree.

You looked at me like I was a moron. I didn't know it. I said, I think it's something to do with masters. You don't know the difference when a college and a university. That's not what happened. I said, I didn't know either. There was a certain level of smugness to it. Dr. Cunningham is in New York. It's not going to help you. Are you a

doctor of the human body, a medical doctor? No. I'll tell you this. Here's going to be a hint. He has knowledge of a thing that you think there's a conspiracy about,

but we're not talking about that today. Oh, are you a doctor of the death of Elvis? No. No, no. Although that does make me want to write

a whole new dissertation. This is something you don't often go on about, but when you do, you get really into it. You don't understand how. This is not what we're talking about today, but it's the realm of this. I didn't know he had a conspiracy. It's an animal.

It's an animal that you have a conspiracy about. Oh, dolphins. They're not fish. They are fish. No, no, no, no. Okay. The big conspiracy. The big animal conspiracy.

We're not talking about that. They don't even exist? Where are they? Oh, where are all the chickens? We're not talking about chickens, but it's in that realm. Oh, that conspiracy. Foul play. The movie. Did you just do a pun? It's another type of bird.

It's not a turkey? Nope. Is it a flight bird? Depends on what your definition of flight is. It's a cold bird. Oh, is it a penguin? That's it. I got opinions on penguins.

I got opinions on penguins. You kind of look like one today. Okay. Dr. Greg Cunningham hails from just outside of Toronto, Canada. He received his bachelor's degree in zoology from the University of, is this Gulf or Guelph? It's Guelph. Guelph. The University of Guelph, where his passion for ornithology was ignited.

He then went on to receive a PhD in physiology at the University of California, Davis. His research focuses on birds and their sense of smell smell and he has studied penguins in the sub antarctic and africa as well as studies and olfaction with other seabirds chickens forest birds and raptors he is currently a professor of biology at saint john fisher university in rochester new york i i yeah yeah i went to saint john and saint john's it was the worst routing of my life we're in canada This is in New York, though. St. John University. Oh, it's a different one?

St. John Fisher University. Oh, I thought because of Canada. I thought you might have done both, but you've never been there. All right. I know a lot about penguins. You try me. Okay.

Well, that's what we're going to do, Dr. Cunningham. I was going to ask you. So you specialize in the sense, like smell, the sense of smell of birds. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. And how did, like smell, the sense of smell of birds. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. And how did, I guess you just kind of, is that something you wanted to do or is it just

something that fell into your lap that way or how does that work? When I was looking for a graduate school, I really wanted to go down to the Antarctic and I really wanted to have those kinds of experiences. And so I was living in California at the time and I was just looking through professors who did Antarctic research and stumbled across a faculty member at UC Davis who did sense of smell but she did it with Antarctic seabirds so I applied to that program and then I became a sense of smell guy. He unblurred his background you see. Yeah he's got birds. He knows technology. Well he's got like... Doctor Computer right? Yeah I don't I don't see any penguins there, but he's bird heavy.

I think in the back above the left there, there's something. There's a puffin. No, that's a red-winged blackbird. That's an owl. That's a cat. Yeah. But there are... I can see the penguins, but I didn't move the pictures.

Yeah. But I guess I should have. No, he's good. I'm going to ask Jim a series of questions on penguins and then when he's done answering them, you're going to grade them 0 through 10, 10 being the most accurate. I've got a notepad.

I'm taking notes, Jim. Oh, yeah. If you're in the Google Doc, Kelly will be taking Jim's answers in there too. Different animal, not a bird. Too much swimming for a bird. We'll see. I can see that you already have your opinions but yeah i know technically kelly's gonna grade him uh jim on confidence i'm gonna

grade him etc no one's ever had a penguin wing at buffalo wild wings that's true takes it out of the bird factory nobody's ever had a hawk wing there either maybe not you okay i know it's off menu forest um we're gonna add a little chicken wing animal style let's you get the hawk wing there either maybe not you okay i know it's off menu forest um we're gonna add all those chicken wing animal style let's you get the hawk okay we're gonna add all the scores together and uh if you score 21 through 30 the joker i can see the penguin these are gonna be batman villains yeah joker that's the best one 11 through 20 killer moth you familiar with him no no he's not that good i have a link to it if you want to see it. And then 0 through 10, Kite Man. Oh, Kite Man sucks.

You know Kite Man? Yeah, he's almost as bad as Calendar Man. There's a Calculator Man. No, no, there's a Calendar Man. Well, there's a guy named Kite Man and apparently his skills is throwing out kites. He just brings lovely

days at the park. You don't want to be kite man. Alright, what are penguins? Penguins are a bird that can swim under the water at great speed. They do not walk. They mate for life. They pair up and they give each other little pebbles. They don't walk? They walk.

Yeah, they give each other little pebbles like we give engagement rings. They also have a tuxedo-like outfit, which is white on the stomach and black on the rest. And the reason for that is when fish and animals, predators are underneath them, they'll look like the sky. And when animals are above them, they'll look like the ground. Penguins. The water. Yeah.

Okay. That's good. Yeah, you're getting a clap here from Dr. Cunningham. Okay. Where are penguins found? Oh, anywhere they're hanging out. What parts of the world? The Arctic, they hang out.

They hang out. There's a lobby in the Hyatt Hotel in Maui that has about eight penguins that just wander around a little pond there, which I've always enjoyed. Lobby of the other four seasons. They range from giant penguins down to little furry penguins, fairy penguins, fairy penguins, which are only found at Phillip Island off the coast of Australia. Now, I'll give you a little fairy penguin reference.

They come out at dusk, and whenever the sun's setting or the sun's coming out, they waddle out, and put some um um some bleacher seats there and people sit there and they wait for the penguins now liam hemsworth who i believe got the job from his brother chris was the guy who used to stand on the beach and go all right all right kids the penguins about to come out they grew up on philip island which is only really famous for this thing in a motorcycle race and then the brothers left the island it must be like that scene in don juan de marco when all the women were crying as the boat left the thing like it like you take the hemsworths out of that little island who's fucking anyone yeah who's going to introduce the penguins yeah how many i mean the penguins are probably fucking

yeah yeah they're probably fucking yeah there you go Yeah but they must have lost their libido after Liam left How many species of penguins are there? I would say I'd say there's 40 different species That we know of And then there'd be hybrids that are off the side Okay What is the largest species of penguin?

The giant penguin Giant? Yeah giant Okay you're saying that very confidently Yeah What is the smallest species of penguin the giant penguin giant yeah giant okay saying that very confidently yeah what is the smallest species of penguin the fairy penguin okay um i knew you knew about some australian penguins how do penguins penguins are found all over the world for us in cold and warm environments yeah how do penguins survive in their environment you talked a little bit about that because their tuxedo helps them divert things. Also, I will say this.

Happy Feet, one of the worst animated films ever. Yeah. Really? Because all the penguins look the fucking same. I just watched it recently with my nephews, and I was like, this is boring. You're looking at a field of penguins, and it's like, why am I meant to care about one of them? Give one of them a droopy eye or something. But Penguin Town on Netflix was excellent.

Did you ever watch that? I know. Pat Noswald. I had already been burned by happy feet. What surfs up? I don't know about that one. Surfing penguins. What do penguins eat? Penguins? That is a good

question. I believe they eat little fish. Okay. How do penguins hunt for food? They swim and they dive and they go and they eat it up okay how do they communicate with each other um well they if happy feet's anything to go by dance what is the lifespan of a penguin? It depends on the breed of the penguin, but the typical penguin has a moderate to large lifespan of 15 years,

unlike its other bird friend, the parrot, that can live right up until its late 80s. Okay. How do penguins mate? I assume they're not, well, yeah, they're birds, so they'd be. Are they monogamous? Are they not're not well yeah they're birds so they'd be are they monogamous they're not monogamous they're monogamous yeah they they pair up there's other birds because the doves have always been given this credit right the doves are called the the the bird of love right but the only reason the doves get credit is because you can make

them sleep by tucking its head under its wing that's why the doves get credit is because you can make them sleep by tucking its head under its wing. That's why the doves get put in big boxes and get let out and got called the bird of love. And that's why magicians lose them, because they can put them to sleep and shove them up a sleeve. I want to see one magician that comes out and goes dove, dove out the sleeve. And we'll go, that's impressive. And then opens his shirt, eagle, and then just shakes his leg, penguin, penguin, penguin, like that.

That's the magician I want to see. Multiple different breeds of birds. Otherwise, you just make it. Like, it must be so dodgy for a magician when they're in the wings just before they come on and they've just got like 10 birds stuffed in their outfit. They always do the birds real early on. So how do penguins do it?

Oh, wait, I want to interrupt for a second because I'm an expert on penguins. I will say that you would only want to shove some species of penguins up your pants, but not all. Because some of them are far more aggressive with their beaks. And I don't think you would like the end result there. No, you can't because you've got to put them to sleep. You can still shove them down their pants, but they'll move around. I think traveling with a penguin is hard. I'll tell you another bird that mates for life is the rainbow lorikeet from Australia.

My dad has two rainbow lorikeets that visit him and they're husband and wife and they hang out together. And the penguins mate for life and they give each other little rocks. How do penguins raise their young? It's a very black and white situation. How do they raise their run? To not take drugs and don't vandalise. Okay.

How do penguins keep their feathers clean um well they're always in the water aren't they yeah jump in the water same as the same way we keep our skin clean jump in the water yeah swish about a bit come out and do this like that's it all right that's how penguins keep themselves clean how do they stay warm sorry can you repeat that can you repeat that i I was writing something down. I didn't see that. Kelly wrote shakes in there in the notes, but you don't get the full effect. How do penguins stay warm in cold environments? They have their vascular system forest.

Good word. They're blooded towards that environment. They're blooded towards that environment. They're unable to do it. Okay. What are predators of penguins? Well, in the ocean, you'd have the big ones, like other larger animals. A crocodile would eat a penguin all day.

Crocodile. If a crocodile saw a penguin, it would not fucking hesitate. Yeah, but I don't think there's, like, okay, sure. Where are the crocodiles and penguins? I would say the biggest, I'd say their biggest predator, global warming. Dude, yes.

Is it vascular and global warming? Yeah, global warming. It's too much carbon in the fucking sky or something. Now, here's the next question. No, I've got other ones. Oh, sure.

Blokes with spears. Blokes with spears. Or crocodiles. Ah, crocodiles. A turtle. a turtle one of those big giant turtles with the big chomping things not that it would do it on purpose but it would just roll onto one now how do penguins protect themselves from predators sharks they use sharks no no they also would go how do they protect themselves because of their stomach and their thing, they camouflage and they swim like the wind forest.

Which is weird because the wind's not down there. But they dart and they move and they move and they dart. And so you try to catch me. Chomp, chomp, chomp. No, I'm a penguin. I'm going too fast. Next question. How fast can penguins swim?

Oh, faster than you, slower than me. I would say you'd get with a bit of... I know there's different species, but is that the fastest one? The fastest clock penguin ever was going about 46 miles an hour. And what about the diving depth? What's the deepest a penguin can dive? We don't know, Forrest, because we've only explored about 4% of the entire ocean. We don't know what's down there. We know less about the floor of the ocean than we do about space.

But these are penguins. Who knows how many fucking penguins, deep water penguins. Deep water penguins are down there. This is a 10 out of 10. So you can't say I'm wrong there because you don't know. Next question you already answered. It was the purpose of the unique pattern of black and white feathers. How do penguins keep their balance when walking on ice? With an awkward wobble, it seems. Okay, that's it?

Yeah. How do they sleep? Like me and you. They lie down? Put their head down. Yeah, I reckon they'd lay sideways. I've seen penguins laying on their side. I've seen that. Were they alive? I don't think they sleep staying sideways. I've seen penguins laying on their side. I've seen that. Were they alive?

I don't think they sleep stand up. I don't know. I don't know, but I think I've seen them all laying around together. What are some social behaviors of penguins? Ah, you know, same as social things as us. One of them's a dickhead. Most of them are nice. Yeah.

Half of them are Republican. Half of them are Democrat. Yeah, okay. And they can't quite get along. But of them are Republican. Half of them are Democrat. Yeah. Okay. And they can't quite get along. But every now and again in a concert, they all join as one. Okay. You've already had some interesting facts about penguins.

Oh, how are penguins affected by climate change? You already told us. It's a predator. Well, this is the thing. Yeah. This is the thing. They're affected the same way that we are, by annihilation. The end is nigh.

Okay. last question. Are there any conservation efforts in place to protect penguins and their habitats? Yeah, all day there's penguin stuff. I've given money to the penguins. What did you give money to? It was like a plastic penguin. I put a coin in it, the penguin thing. Somehow it gets to the penguins.

Yeah, and it gets to the penguins. What, you think they're going to fucking deal with the money? It's us. The humans get a bad rap, but they've never tried to save us. No animals ever got together. No group of animals ever got together and gone, oh, the humans all have COVID, throw a few bucks in the ring. No, no, no, they let us fucking die.

Every time one of those cunts are getting extinct, we all band together. Oh, the koalas are burnt. We shouldn't live in Australia. It's too hot for you. There's 8 billion of us, though. Oh, yeah, but who... The bottom of the sea, man.

Dark. We're outnumbered so much by those fucking dark water dwellers. Dr. Greg Cunningham, how did Jim do on his knowledge of penguins? 10's the best, 0's the worst. A straight-up score for all of the questions? Yeah. 10's the best. 0's the worst. A straight up score for all of the questions. 10's the best ones. Yeah, for just his accuracy. I'm going to give him a solid

6.5. Nice. I'm impressed early with the tuxedo. Yeah, I think so. No, that was really impressive. Confidence, Kelly? No doubt I'm giving you a 10 on confidence. You were full of shit for a lot of it, but you spoke so confidently. Thank you, thank you.

I respect that. 16.5, yeah. I'm giving you minus 10 for, et cetera, Kite Man. Damn. I don't give a shit. Kite Man's cool. I like Kite Man. I like Kite Man.

Well, we haven't seen him yet. Is he more effective on a windy day or he's less effective? I'm not sure. I'll have to look that up, yeah. Okay. All right, Dr. Cunningham, what are penguins? Jim said they can swim underwater. They don't walk.

Pair for life. That is true. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, penguins are aquatic, flightless birds, depending on how you want to define flightless. I prefer to think about penguins do fly. They just fly through a different medium,

that medium being water versus air. You did lose a bit of points for not knowing their family, the classification of the penguins with the spheniskidae. So that was upsetting. Oh, man. It's on the tip of your tongue, Jim. What was the spheniskidae today i've never even heard that word h how do you spell it s-p-h-e-n-i-s-c-i-d-a-e jesus yeah word

yeah did you know my fact about Liam Hemsworth being the tour host of the Fairy Penguins? Well, Liam Hemsworth actually called me to get my perspective on the penguins before he did that, so yeah, I knew it. Did he really? I don't know. I got you, Jim.

Alright. And then where are penguins found? Just the Arctic? No, actually, this was one of the worst things you said. I'm sorry, Jim. All right. Zing. And then where are penguins found? Just the Arctic? This was... No, actually, this was one of the worst things you said. I'm sorry, Jim, but you said Arctic, but you meant to say Antarctic, and that is an entire globe's worth of error. You're wearing an ant shirt.

How did you forget that? So they're not in the Arctic. They're in the Antarctic. Yeah. And the comment on Maui was cute. It's true. the Hyatt Resort in Maui has about six of them in a little pond in the middle of the lobby, hanging out. Penguins do quite well in captivity, that is certainly true mostly found throughout the southern hemisphere

but surprisingly only a few species actually are found exclusively on on the antarctic continent everybody always associates penguins with the true antarctic continent but very few species are actually found there um there is there are some penguins found further north like the african penguin which is found in south africa and namibia and then the galapagos penguin which is up in the galapagos Islands. So that's actually spanning the equator. So there was a South African penguin and they had apartheid. Black and white living together.

Yeah. Why didn't they look to the penguin? They could have fixed everything. We saw some when we were in South Africa for your tour. Look to the penguin. I'm sorry, Greg, what did you say? I just said Mandela really missed an opportunity to use the penguin as a bridge.

I'll tell you my Mandela story very quickly. So there was a promoter, and he had a picture of him and Nelson Mandela on his desk. And I was like, geez. And I was in South Africa. I said, geez, that was a good picture of you and Mandela. And he goes, it used to be a much better photo before, right? And he pulled it out of his frame and he bent it back.

And on the other side of Mandela was Bill Cosby. From when he promoted Bill Cosby there. And Mandela asked to meet Cosby. And the guy still wanted to keep the photo. So he just bent it over the side. Yeah, it's like a breakup. So they're mostly in the Southern Hemisphere, you said, though. Almost exclusively.

The Galapagos does span the equator, but almost exclusively in the Southern Hemisphere. Huh. Is there a reason for that? No? Yeah. So in the Northern Hemisphere, there are a group of birds called alcids, like puffins and ox and oclids and things like that. And so they perform a lot of the

same ecological role or they have this very similar niche as the the penguins do so they you know they're hunting similar sorts of things they're living in similar sorts of areas and so uh they are sort of the northern hemisphere equivalents of penguins so there's you know two groups i like a puffin big fan yeah um how many species of penguins are there are there 40 that's what jim said 40 yeah uh off by a factor of two there are it's actually disagreed upon there are anywhere from 17 to 20 depending on how you classify the little blue which is the the penguin that Jim mentioned, and a couple other species are, it's unclear whether or not they are true species or just subspecies. So anywhere from 17 to 20.

Usually when we have an animal thing on here, so many species wouldn't be able to name them all. But we could name them all 20 probably. Oh yeah, we could. Don't get me started. Are any endangered? Yeah, the are any are any endangered uh yeah uh the the emperors are threatened right now africans are endangered um and i suspect multiple other species are but i don't fully know the entire suite of them all right um what is the largest species of penguin? Jim said the giant penguin, but he just realized. Emperor. Emperor. Emperor, yeah.

They are about the size of a six-year-old child, about 1.1 meters in height. Yeah, biggins. Yeah, I got to see one at the zoo. In Omaha Zoo, they have them, I think, and I got to see one. Yeah, it's pretty big. There used to be, there's an extinct species of penguin, which was two meters tall and 115 kilograms. It was about 37 million years ago. So there used to be this gigantic Antarctic penguin that is no longer with us.

Just off the topic, did you see the, like, because you're into water animals and all that stuff. Did you see that fossil that was found in Queensland, like just before Christmas? Oh man, 100 million old fossil. It's like the first of its kind. It looks like a Loch Ness Monster. It's completely intact and it has people laying next to it and stuff. It's fucking belter. Oh really? Yeah, check it out.

100 year old fossil found in, 100 million year old fossil found in Queensland. You'll see it. It's a good one. There was a, remember when we did the manatee episode? I'm sure you remember that. There was one that was extinct called a stellar sea cow, but it was in the Bering Strait, but it looks like a Loch Ness monster. This one... Have you found it, Kelly? These are from

July. No, no, from December. So the largest one was six feet. That's terrifying. That's like the Adam Sandler. What movie is that where there's a giant penguin? Billy Madison. Oh, not a real penguin. What movie is that where there's a giant penguin? Billy Madison. Oh, not a real penguin. No, I know it's not a real penguin, but he sees a penguin.

It's like tall. What is the smallest species of penguin? Is it the fairy penguin? He got it right. There's many names that the penguins go by. Often they're called little blue, but fairy is another name for them coming in at around 30 centimeters and 1.2 kilograms oh they're so tiny yes oh yeah yeah that's the fossil oh jesus

have you ever so have you seen the fairy penguins jim i've seen them yeah yeah they're that small yeah and they waddle out they're adorable and they also look like they've got a bit of fur on them. So some people think we're saying furry penguins, but they're fairy penguins. I'm assuming it's some type of feather though, right? Yeah, mammals have fur. Birds have feathers. And this island, Phillip Island, all it does is has a motorcycle race. It's one of the big motorcycle races, and it has these penguins,

and people travel over just to see the penguins. They're adorable. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah and people travel over just to see the penguins they're adorable oh yeah yeah yeah you take a girl to see those you'll get laid what good dead idea for you Kelly

it would work on me honestly it would wouldn't you if a guy said I'm going to take you see some penguins you're like I'll see some penguins

and then you go just wait the Hemsworths are there yeah yeah the Hemsworths are there well Liam told me that I've only met Liam I met Liam twice actually

But I I was I was pitched to help Write a movie That Liam was connected to And I went over to his manager's house And Liam was there And I was like

You know Where are you from in Australia And then I went You guys fill up on it And I go Ah the Fairy Penguins And he goes I was the host

And I reckon I was the host. And I reckon the crowds would have died down. There would have been some women who came every week to see the penguins. How do penguins survive in the environment? Jim said their tuxedo helps them. Anything else? Yeah, their tuxedo does help them be successful in the water. But the thing to realize about penguins is that they sort of live this dual existence, right? They spend a substantial amount of their time on land

and a substantial amount of their time on water. And so they have adaptations for each because, you know, the implications of that dualistic lifestyle are substantial. So, you know, in the uh they they worry about getting too cold particularly the ones that are further south and so they they're not like whales they don't have blubber but they have uh subcutaneous fat that helps them to stay warm and they also sometimes will drop their body temperatures while they're foraging quite drastically to slow down their metabolic rate well through their vascular system yes you mentioned vascular system that does i don't know where he's got some blood flow he's never said vascular system in any podcast ever just come from the doctor i don't know where

you got that from yeah yeah and and then so on land uh the issues are, you know, there they depend mostly on their feathers. Their feathers are very short and they have an underlying cover of down feathers. And their feathers are so good at insulating them on land that actually sometimes on land, penguins tend to overheat. Even in these very cold environments, they can overheat. And so sometimes you'll see penguins panting to try to shed heat, or every once in a while they'll sort of, similar to what Jim did earlier when he went oof, they will do that. But that actually is a way of opening their feathers up to release some of that trapped heat.

And then so they'll, you know, they have that. And then also on land, particularly the very cold penguins will huddle together during the wintertime, and they form these huge groupings of penguins, and they all sort of move around. So some penguins spend some time on the outside, and then they get to go on the inside and be nice and warm, and others take turns, and they all sort of work together

to survive those cold winters. And to eat one, is it closer to a fish or closer to chicken I would suspect is closer to a fish I believe they are very oily and very fishy be due to what they eat next question mutton bird yeah they're based like mutton bird I reckon do you know what mutton bird is we had that in New Zealand one time I've mutton bird Benedict it's got no yeah oh it's it's a New Zealand delicacy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Jim ordered it at this diner in this Invercargill. Yeah.

And they're like, you've never had mutton bird. Oh, you've got to have some. It's a delicacy. And then I had it and I went, it's disgusting. Yeah, I don't like it. Other people do. Tastes like a fish rolled in an ashtray. It's disgusting.

It's really bad. It's a grainy texture. It's as salty as all hell. Was it like a breast or did you eat it off the bone? No, it was mutton bird Benedict. I had like a disc of this

fucking salty large mackerel-y type of stuff. And it's like, it's a bird, but it just eats foosh. So it's like, it's a bird, but it just eats fish. So it tastes like fish. Yeah, Invercargill. We had a fun time there. So, yeah, next question.

What do penguins eat? Jim said fish. He was correct. Many species eat fish, fish that we all sort of generally know. A lot of species will eat anchovies and sardines um and uh some will eat krill which is a very small crustacean some penguins will eat squid um emperor penguins are you know because they're the biggest penguin they have a quite voracious appetite and so they'll take anywhere from one to three kilograms of food per day um And bigger penguins eat bigger fish,

but Jim was correct there. And do they get it just by their speed? Is that how they catch all the fish? Just in the water, their speed? No, they do it by their charm first. I don't know if there's any other techniques. Hey, come over here. No, I'm not going to eat you.

Come here. I know I ate the other fish, but I'm not going to eat you. Come here. They set up a little underwater entertainment show, and they entice the fish closer, and then by the time they get too close, they want to look behind the curtain, and then there's a penguin there. Is that really what happens?

They're swimming so good that people are like, oh, I want to see that. And then they go, hey, come on. No, he's being a smartass with you. That would have worked. You both are being smartasses. That would have worked. Yeah, speed. Yeah.

Next. Yeah, speed. Yeah. Next. Yeah, speed. Speed. They're fast. Yeah. Well, yeah, how fast are they? I know that's way down there, but how fast do they go in the water? Let me pull up on my notes because I don't know.

I'm assuming different species go different speeds, right? Yeah. I don't know. I'm trying to remember. Jim said for speed, he said 46 miles per hour, which is rather high. I'm talking about the fastest one. The Usain Bolt of penguins.

Yeah, it's like you could say, you could watch me run the 100 meters and go they do it in like 27 seconds, right? Or you could watch Usain Bolt and they do it in the low notes. Top speed for an average penguin is anywhere from two to five kilometers. Or, sorry. Yeah, it's about two to seven kilometers per hour.

Okay. But don't we walk faster than that? No, but water's very dense. It's not easy to move through. Yeah, you don't get as much speed in water. I guess so. Yeah. Yeah, it's true. But I speed in water. I guess so. Yeah. Yeah, it's true.

But I assume a penguin can swim faster than I can walk. I don't think you can walk 7 kilometers. I think you're running if it's 7 kilometers an hour. No, it's like 5 k's an hour. It's 5 miles per hour, probably. Yeah. I think you'd be jogging then. Yeah.

Those are average speeds. A wall squat is 3.5 miles per hour. African penguins can reach up to like 25 kilometers per hour so that's probably more and yeah yeah yeah those are fast and um so uh how do penguins hunt for food we just that's what we just mentioned yeah and how do penguins communicate with each other is it a dancing thing happy fate um turns out happy feet is well it's partially accurate in that yes they do have visual displays and there are substantial visual displays that they can use to sort of uh communicate their intent to each other um they will use uh acoustic communication um and so you know particularly in colonies, you can imagine coming back to a colony and how difficult it is to find your friends or find your partner, find your offspring.

Especially when everyone looks the same. To us, yes. To us, they all look the same. Yeah. And so they use acoustic communication to sort of help them find each other on the beach. Being a sense of smell guy, there's some evidence that they can use chemical cues to recognize each other. And so we know that some penguin species can recognize can recognize kin by by the way they smell um the visual displays are are very important and then also there's a couple spe both emperors and

kings are um the uh they reflect uv light from their bills right they have the coloring on their bills the orange and the yellowish and so there's some thought that maybe the uv information on their bills might be used for selecting a mate or identifying individuals as well can you impersonate how one of them sounds i can okay uh african penguins used to be called jackass penguins because they sound like a braying donkey oh Oh, I thought they sounded like Steve-O. Dude, I'm an African penguin. Oh, fuck, dude. I mean, I can show you my African penguin scars because they are assholes. But yeah, no, I've never really tried to do an African penguin impersonation.

Do your best one. You don't have to do an African one. Do your best impersonation. Okay, so my best impersonation would be a king penguin, which they'll stand there and they sort of throw their wings out and they stick their head up into the sky and they sort of go. That was very good. Very good.

Zoom's muting now. No, he made the noise. I heard it a little bit, but then I think it's muted out. No, no, no, it's a penguin, man. They look kind of like. I'll do it again quieter, just it's muted out. No, no, no. That's a penguin, man. They look kind of like... I'll do it again quieter, just in case. Okay. Yeah.

He's not loud. Okay. They look sort of like emperor penguins, king penguins. Yes, they're the same genus. Got it. Okay, cool. And lifespan of penguins, 15 years. This is where Jim was really getting confident.

Unlike the parrot. No, that was good. That was good. He was dead on was dead on multiple species of penguins their average lifespan is anywhere from 15 to 20 so Emperor's chin straps Galapagos all of them live around 15 to 20 chin strap cool facial hair those guys where's that one chin straps are found on the Antarctic continent and they are called that because they have a white face and then they have a black line that wraps around their chin like a strap.

Those are like the kind of the happy chin. Who are the ones that have the fluffy bits coming out of their cheeks? You know, there's some penguins that just have a bit of fur, white fur coming out the side. Well, no, you might be thinking of the ones that have the yellow feathers at the top of their head. Yeah. Who are they?

Those are like, there's a species called a rockhopper who hop on rocks. They are appropriately named. There is a species called macaroni, which have nothing to do with preparing macaroni, but they're called a macaroni penguin. A few other species have those yellow feathers on them. He looks like he was in an 80s band. Yeah, that one. The one that has the things at the sides. A retired 80s singer.

That's the rockhopper? Yeah, a rockhopper. You could name penguins. This is how you would name them all. Like chinchrap. If they had another name and you called them a rockhopper, that's pretty racially intolerant. King penguin.

And how do they mate? Are they monogamous? Do they give each other rocks? They are monogamous unless one of the partners dies and then they will eventually find a new partner. But penguin mating, the actual procedure of it, the female will lay down sort of on her belly and then the male will climb on top

and birds have a different reproductive system than us, they have something called a cloaca I was going to quiz Jim on a rockabye but okay, you told him again, we've said it about a couple other episodes Is that a dick with a prong? What's a cloaca?

A cloaca is a common egress point for the reproductive, the urinary, and the digestive system. What was the last one we did? There was another bird. It was just the bird episode. There was something else. Did we just do birds?

Did we have cloaca? It's going to be like... Archaeopteryx. Archaeopteryx. which is what Jim like a cloaca t-shirt did the Archaeopteryx have a cloaca ooh yes because a lot of reptiles all right we're learning okay and so they so they yeah the female lays down the male kind of climbs up on top and then they they align their cloacas uh so that sperm can be transferred to uh the reproductive tract of the female so no penises uh no very few birds have penises. There are a couple of species. Ducks and ostriches have intermittent organs, as one may call it. And so if you've ever seen ducks at the pond and during the springtime, you notice that the males are being really aggressive jerks towards the females.

It's because they have this penis like structure that that allows them to be uh to be able to sort of force themselves upon the female whereas most most most birds the only way that a male can mate with a female is if she moves her tail out of the way and so birds become a real uh spectacular species to look at like types of cues that matter and sexual selection because you can assume that in most cases females are only mating with males that they want to be mating with and that time scientifically is called a blocker now the rocks thing though jim was saying they give each other rocks i i think i i know what you're talking about i read something that they will actually... They give pebbles. They give pebbles, but that would be...

What do they give the pebbles for? Jim, do you know? It's engagement rings, isn't it? Women want something shiny. They want something shiny before you get your Archaeopterus on them. Cloaca. Cloaca. It would be probably more accurate to say they're more like bricks

or mortar for the house because they use the pebbles to build their nests and so that shows you're a good provider if you bring a pebble exactly the woman will go you're building the nest together all right got a good job let's go find some good stuff do they have do they have female and male duties in the in the relationship or do they sort of carry the workload the same raising penguin chicks at least in of carry the workload the same uh raising penguin chicks at least in some of the more southern species where the weather can be more extreme uh is a real taxing job and so both of the uh both males and females are contributing quite heavily in order to successfully raise a chick do they both hunt for food together yeah uh no because well

it depends on the age of the chick because when the chick is young one of the parents has to stay back on the beach to protect them from potential predators on land once the chick gets large enough they could probably both go out to sea but uh some penguins do cooperatively forage but i don't know too many species that do but there may be some is the man and the woman the same size um yeah it's uh like I do recall the last time I was down with King penguins um so I did research on an island in the Sub-Anarctic called kergalin and there's a beach there called rapinoff and there's like a hundred thousand breeding pairs on that island or on that beach and so you know you're watching them do their things all the time and it's really it's almost impossible to tell them uh apart by just

looking at them but usually you can tell them apart because you'll see the female walking along and then you'll see like four males walking behind her sort of like saying hey hi hello hello hi so that you can usually tell them apart by their behaviors. Ah, all right. Yeah. All right, I've done that. The next question was, how do they raise their young? You kind of touched on it there a lot. So I don't know if there was anything.

Yeah, so, I mean, if, you know, if Morgan Freeman has taught us anything, it's that the far south species, like emperors and chinstraps, right, that the female lays the egg she puts it onto the male's feet and the female because the egg is quite costly immediately goes off to sea to replenish her uh her resources because she spent so much energy to to lay the egg so the males take over um and hold on to the egg for a period time. And then eventually the female comes and they start swapping back and forth.

Um, but in, in warmer water, uh, places, you know, like Africans, um, for example,

will they have like a, almost like a burrow that they'll either carve out of the ground or find some, some crevice in between some rocks. And so in that kind of case, they don't have to make the, the, the parental effort is different in those sort of situations. But, you know, both parents are actively out there foraging for the chicks.

How many eggs do they knock out at a time? Most species are only one because it's so, it's difficult to find resources to raise a chick. I think that fairy penguins every once in a while will hatch, will lay two at a time, but most, most species are only one. And is the survival rate good? Um, is that pre or post climate change? Uh, I'll just say now. Yeah, you can talk about that. We can always jump ahead. We talked about climate change. Like you can talk about that kind of stuff. Yeah. I mean, you know, climate climate change is is hammering penguins as it is

in in many species and so um it it's interesting so like particularly in species like emperors or kings you know they they hatch the chick and then the chicks have to get large enough because once the the deep of winter hits the chicks spend their time on the beach just in a in a something called a creche a group of chicks all by themselves and so the parents are time on the beach just in a, it's something called a creche, a group of chicks, all by themselves. And so the parents are off on the water for a couple months, and the chicks are just basically slowly starving by themselves. We call it a creche in the human world, right? Creche?

I think so. You don't call it creche? Yeah, creche. In Australia, we say children go to creche. Creche? I don't know what that is. I'm like Dacre. Oh, no.

Creche before kindergarten. No, but he's Canadian, so maybe that's her Canadian. No, I'm just wondering if we got that from the penguins. But in Australia, we use the term Kreisch. Oh, yeah. No, we don't use that here. I found out also that Americans don't play pass the parcel, you fucking heathens. What is that?

Oh, let me tell you. So at every party, right, you get a gift and then you wrap it in like 50 layers of wrapping, and then you play music, and the kids have to pass the pass, and if it stops in you, you get to undo a layer. We played that at Christmas a couple of years ago. I don't remember what we called it. Now, with modern day, they put a little present in each layer, so you get some stickers in a layer and then some candy.

Not when I was young. You had to be there at the end. And as it gets down to the last few wrappings, you pass it very slowly. Oh, no, it's a full and as it gets down to the last few wrappings you pass it very slowly oh no it's a full circle before it gets to me again um so is that word come from penguins crèche i want to know that answer yeah crèche i don't know it might come from australians yeah yeah the fairy penguins passed it on yeah there you go the fairy it must be hard to be gay in the fairy penguin community.

Why? Because everyone's already calling you a fairy. What? He had another name for them. They were the little blues. Little blues? Yeah. They're not blue, though?

Why are they called little blues? Or have they got a blue tint to them? They're a little blue. They're a little blue. They're a little blue. Or are they just down? Liam's left. How do penguins keep their feathers cleaned?

Is it just jumping in the water, swish around a bit? They spend a lot of time preening, right, where they run their beak through their feathers to sort of shuffle them about. And then almost birds have a gland at the base of their tail that produces some sort of waxy substance that they can use to preen into their feathers. But in penguins, it's very important because that helps to keep the feathers waterproof. Yeah. And then they stay warm in cold environments.

You talked a little bit about that. You said- Vasculous. Feathers and subcutaneous fat. Subcutaneous fat and feathers. All connected to the vasculous. What are predators? Are crocodiles predators?

Global warming, you said, are blokes with spears, a turtle, and sharks. Yeah. Sharks was correct. Everything else was not correct. You're telling me if a crocodile saw a penguin, it wouldn't eat it. Of course, it would bloody eat it all day. Well, if given the opportunity, perhaps. But they don't tend to overlap that I'm aware of.

Probably somewhere in Australia, there'd be a penguin-crocodile colonization. I think they're far away. Hey, I reckon there's some place where penguins and crocodiles are coexisting. But in general, the majority, they will say sharks and then anything else. Alligators.

I wouldn't say alligators. I'm not stupid. Orcas. Orcas are a huge predator across the board of of penguins uh orcas killer whales do the hippos ever eat them in africa i do not believe so no i feel like the hippos are always eating everything hungry hippos um and and orcas will do this at least at the island where i've worked with kings they'll do this this cool thing where you know when chicks are heading out into the ocean for their first time they're obviously not um experienced swimmers and so they they sort of suffer from not being great in the water and so right around when the chicks are heading out into

the walk into the ocean for the first time that's when the orcas come into the area because they know they can exploit an easy dinner. Can they be taught tricks like a dog or a parrot to talk? Do they know their names, anything like that? No, I'm not aware of any attempt to try to train a penguin to talk. Could you domesticate one? Just not talking, but just like, because I've seen very popular. We said they're good in captivity. One of them should be a waiter.

Very popular when they're all dancing. That's one of the best bits of the whole film is the penguins. Well, you said they're good in captivity. They do well in captivity? A lot of them. I mean, they're common animals in zoos um so i yeah i mean i presume that means that they you know they're they're hardy enough that they can survive in captivity well now when we say they mate and everything like that is there ever any like spinster penguins who just you know they left on the shelf because they waited too long?

I suspect. Yeah. And then how do they protect themselves from sharks or orcas? What do they do? Jim was dead on here. They just swim really fast. Yeah. You know a lot about penguins. And they're highly maneuverable.

I think I did better than 6.5. I got the age. I knew the tuxedo. I mentioned the fairy penguins. 6.5 is good. Yeah, that's a good score. Not bad, but, think I know enough about penguins to just pass university. So just give me a degree now.

Penguin university? Yeah. And so the unique pattern of black and white feathers is, again, for the camouflage? Yeah, it's a term called countershading. And so when you're above a penguin and you're looking down, the black back of a penguin blends in with the darkness of the ocean floor and when you're below a penguin looking up the white belly of a penguin blends in with the the sunlight that is permeating from the

from the sky and how do they keep their balance when walking on ice um wait what which question was that again how do penguins keep their balance when they're walking on ice jim said they were at 20 okay um yeah jim said wobble that's true yeah uh they also have um so when they're because they wobble because they sort of like lean over their feet and that helps to sort of balance you know put their center of gravity uh in line with their feet and that helps to sort of balance, you know, put their center of gravity in line with their feet. But they also have very sharp claws and so when they're on ice, they can kind of dig into the ice with their feet as well. And do they sleep laying sideways? Not like

that, no. They'll sleep on their belly with their sort of beak down. They love a belly slide. They love to slide on things in their stomach. I've seen that plenty of times. It's called tobogganing. Yeah. But they also will sleep where they'll sleep standing up, and they'll tuck their beak under their wing.

Okay, so they can do both. And then social behaviors of penguins we've talked about that a little bit jim was saying half republican yeah uh one's a dickhead half of them are republican but they come to come to concerts and are all as one yeah um nailed it yeah prove me wrong yeah yeah um so so one of the most notable things about most species of penguins will particularly when they're they're sort of stuck in one place because they have an egg on their feet and you and you look in them in the colony and they are distributed such that they are about one wing wing length away from each other so that they can't smack each other because penguins at

least at least kings for example really love to smack each other and so if they get too close they just start hitting each other so they they space themselves out so that nobody can reach each other and hit each other are they are they friendly um with any other animals or are they just hanging out in the penguin community depends on the species um some species like like some species are well i've noticed that like kings are very like depending on where you are like some populations are uh more responsive to humans for example than others um y'all you have to remember that like for many of these species down in the antarctic and the sub-antarctic right humans are still a novelty right but i feel like they know they knock around with seals a bit don't they uh the seals may eat them.

So, yeah, they don't knock around for long because some seals will eat them. Oh, bloody seals. That's why, okay, I have to pitch Penguin Town. You guys have to watch it. It's shot like a reality show. Like there's drama, there's romance, there's happy moments, sad moments. What's Penguin Town on? It's Penguin. It's on Netflix.

And it's narrated by Patton Oswalt. So every episode is like a- Wait, is it Town on? It's Penguin. It's on Netflix and it's narrated by Patton Oswalt. So every episode is like a... Wait, is it live action? Yeah. Oh. So they're following these penguins that live in South Africa. So they're in like a more tropical climate. There are humans around and it's so good. Do you know Penguin Town?

No, I've never heard of this before, but... Netflix, watch it. It's fantastic. What's the best movie about penguins? Or with penguins involved? I've never heard of this before, but I'm curious. Netflix, watch it. It's fantastic. What's the best movie about penguins? Or with penguins involved? I've given you Mary Poppins and Happy Feet. Madagascar. Madagascar's got penguins. Oh.

Oh, yeah, the little penguins in Madagascar are winners. Yeah, they're good. Yeah, they're great. What about the March of the Penguins? Ah, blow the March of the Penguins. Yeah, I might go with the sort of classic documentary because Morgan Freeman is Morgan Freeman. Yeah. Yeah. blow them yeah i might i might go with the sort of classic documentary because morgan freeman is morgan freeman yeah yeah first time i saw i say billy madison i knew yeah i didn't think

much of this penguin hope will drive your man you're good with you're good with impressions not this one no no i don't know what you're doing i'll just give them a go yeah yeah that's a good view my impersonations are all just me having a go and people going yeah i thought it'd be worse um so they are affected by climate change you mentioned that's is that obviously their habitats especially the ones in antarctic are just disappearing yeah as as sea ice is uh diminishing because so many of these species are sort of tied to the presence of sea ice so as that shifts uh that's going to change sort of their distribution their their placement how they're you know foraging there was uh a couple years ago a story that came out about adeli penguins where there was a large iceberg that

sort of got uh got broken off and then lodged into a bay that was giving them access to some of their preferred foraging habitat. And it basically took, potentially wiped out a population of 150,000 Adelies, although some people think that maybe they just moved to somewhere else. And so whether they actually died unclear but it's certainly there used to be a population of 150 000 adelies and when an iceberg jammed up the the bay it cut them off from their food source are there albino penguins uh i've never seen one but i have seen uh the reverse which is a melanistic where they're all black instead of black and white

all right all black penguin that'd be cool looking. Yeah. What conservation efforts are in place to protect penguins and their habitats? So the types of issues that are facing penguins are things like overfishing, invasive species, plastic in the environment. Beg your pardon? I said cancel culture. Well, that, yeah.

And so there's a lot of... I didn't even ask for a pebble from him. Sorry. No, no, no, no. It's your show. Plastics in the environment and overfishing. plastics in the environment and overfishing and overfishing is is quite bad uh in in because because the the fish the fish that we're taking is is in direct competition with the the types of fish that they like to eat yeah sardines and anchovies you said right off the bat sardines

and anchovies yeah humans love those um all right and uh so this is a part of our show i was gonna say is there anything we can do? But I don't know. Just with climate change, it's just like. If you see a penguin, don't kill it. Yeah. Give it some sardines. Give it some space.

Supplemental feeding. Let it go about its day. Eat toboggan, eat toboggan. Eat less sardines and anchovies. Yeah, eat less anchovies, man. Yeah. This is part of our show called Dinner Party Facts. We ask our guests to give us a fact, something obscure, interesting about the topic that they can use to impress their friends.

What do you got for us? I have a lot. I'll try not to give you too many. Sure. I will say that probably the most important thing that people should walk away from this episode is that the next time you see a Coca-Colacola commercial where a penguin and a polar bear are hanging out you have to say no because polar bears are in the arctic and penguins are in the antarctic and yet they smushed together and that was the bit that got you not that they were drinking coca-cola that's what brought them together the two sides of the globe i reckon they would give a penguin diabetes yesterday.

I thought a polar bear would eat a penguin too. That would be your crocodile scenario. They're not eating them because they're not together, but if a polar bear was near a penguin, probably he'd eat it. They don't hang out together, polar bears and penguins. Jack, make a call. And now I think of it, I've never actually seen a photo of a penguin and a polar bear hanging out together.

Yeah, it's true that. True that. Not like Dracula and out together. Yeah, it's true that. True that. Not like Dracula and Frankenstein. Yeah, last episode. You said you had another one? I mean, I have, yeah. So penguins have these fascinating tongues where they have these bristles on their tongues that point backwards

so that when they grab a fish, if the fish tries to escape from their mouth, it hits those bristles and it gets trapped in their mouth. And that's why there's no lesbian penguins. Well, look, you use your tongue. You're not gay. No, no, no, because if they go down on each other, they'll latch on and they won't be able to.

But a guy penguin can go down on a girl penguin. Look, man, it's a joke, man. I didn't mean anything by it. I will say, Jim, you could have increased your score by at least a good point and a half if you had used the term cloaca in that joke. Ah, yeah. Damn. Ah, yeah.

Go down there, cloaca. Yeah. Yeah, that's right. Yeah. Missed opportunity. You want to try it again? That's why there's no lesbian penguins, because they get their quakers stuck on their bristly tongues.

Hey, yo. Hey. All right, 7.5. 7.5. You said you'd have another one? Well, you already talked about the pebbles, so that was one of my points. I'll take one more. How about that?

The idea that same-sex penguin relationships do exist, they mostly seem to occur in captivity, which introduces a really intriguing element of how is being in captivity making this more common, or is it just something that we notice more? It happens to us in prison, right? It happens to us in prison. We get into same-sex relationships if we're locked up long enough. But I think there is at least one occurrence in 1911 of some Adelie penguins that were observed in a same-sex relationship. Uh,

and it was documented, but never shared because it was, uh, seen as far too depraved. And so they would, uh, back in 1911, the idea of same-sex penguin relationships was just too much for the common folks.

Too much. Every time you say Adelie penguins, I just imagine Adele. Yeah, me too. Hello. Hello, penguin. Thank you very much, Dr. Greg Cunningham, for being here.

We appreciate your time. And I didn't put anything in here. Is there anything you want to promote? We didn't put anything in here, like a social media book or anything? Or do you want to remain anonymous? No. I mean, you know, I'm a professor at St. John Fisher University and that's about it.

I mean, I have a Twitter account, but I don't really use it too much for professional things. So we'll leave it at that. Okay. But thank you. Do you support the Pittsburgh Penguins? Well, naturally, yeah.

I mean, I'm from Toronto, so I have to support the Maple Leafs. Well, thank you. Thank you, Doctor. I appreciate you being on the podcast. We know everything about penguins now, everyone. Woo! Everything, yeah.

Everything you need to know. Yeah, we're the experts. You come here. This is the university of I don't know about that. Ladies and gentlemen, if you're ever at a party. See how a bird has a penis. No, no. You ever at a party and someone walks up to you and goes,

you know, in 1911 there was a couple of gay penguins. Go, I don't know about that. You're not supposed to know about that. Yeah. Too depraved. Good night, Australia.