If I Were You - Morning After the Morning After
Episode Date: November 5, 2020We're back! Four years after "The Morning After Trump" we discuss our election nights and our hopes for the (not too distant) future.See omny.fm/listener for privacy information....
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This is a headgum original.
All right, this is not the morning after, but the morning after the morning after.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
We promised the morning after, but oh wait, did we promise the morning after?
Yeah.
But the America wasn't ready for us yet.
Yeah.
Look, I mean, rules were made to be broken.
That much is clear.
Yeah.
Nothing gold can stay, words mean nothing, yada-yada, et cetera, et cetera, so on and
so forth.
Right off the bat, how do you feel right now at the time of recording?
We should say, just to paint the picture, Biden is leaning towards 264 electoral votes
depending on if you're counting Arizona or not, still waiting to see if Nevada or Pennsylvania
or Georgia tip in his flavor for the win.
I mean, has been called, it's a roller coaster.
I think I'm feeling every emotion.
Most of all, obsessed and anxious, I would say.
Obsessively anxious.
Yeah, I know.
I don't stop looking at my phone, looking at any data that I can find, any kind of information,
any new thing that I can learn.
Yeah, morsels of, ooh, they just moved it from 93% reported in Georgia to 94%.
Let me compare it.
Oh, it moved 61,000 votes.
How much are left?
Yeah.
Mariscopa!
Where's Mariscopa?
Where are the returns?
When is the data dump happening?
Yeah, so there's a lot of that.
And I think, I don't know, I guess like a little bit despondent in a sense.
I need to, I'm trying to recalibrate my brain, which like, there was every single permutation
running through it, but I had a great hope that it was going to be like a landslide,
an early night, a huge rebuke of Trump, and I would have felt really good.
And I would be like, celebrating today.
I was hopeful that that was going to be the outcome.
I think the worst case scenario one did not happen.
Worst case scenario?
Oh, a legitimate Trump win didn't happen.
But we're in like scenario number two that I also didn't want, but might still end up
okay.
That's right.
But one, it was so, so needed that like, it was, it's not like one in one B, it's like
one, and then also two, three, and four, and then five for me was also the Senate.
Oh, wow.
Yeah.
I mean, that's, I guess maybe my brain has recalibrated it a little bit.
Like I'm sad about the Senate.
I really wanted like McConnell, Graham, and Collins out.
I wanted those.
That would have been cool.
I wanted Doug Jones to get reelected.
Yeah.
I think once I realized that we might lose the presidency, it's just like all hands on
deck for this one, this one victory.
All right.
Let's rewind to the top.
Okay.
It's 637 p.m. East Coast time yesterday, and they're starting to like release Indiana
and Kentucky.
And they're like, oh, Trump is up, but not as much as he used to be.
And then you're like, oh, that's a good sign.
And then they start releasing Florida, and it's like, oh, he's doing actually better
than Hillary here, doing better than Hillary here.
I'm like, okay, all right, hey, if Florida goes, this is a wrap by 8 p.m., we can all
get dinner together.
Wouldn't that be nice?
Optimism at an all-time high at that point, I'm like, oh, I came into here sort of cautiously
optimistic, Biden is doing well in the polls.
If he's going to win Florida, I mean, forget about it, the rest of them are going to follow
suit.
Until we saw Miami Dade.
Miami fucked us quite frankly.
I will never go to Florida again.
The Cuban vote.
I'm done.
I don't care for Florida.
Sorry.
I'm sorry.
That state has become in Alabama.
It's not worth us fretting.
This was the problem for me is that I let Florida set the tone for the night.
I think if I had taken Florida off the tape, like if I was like, Florida's a foregone conclusion,
it will be read just the same way I feel about like any of those deep Southern states.
Then you start to be like, OK, so let's just, I don't know, you can be patient and watch
the actual votes come in from these places where Biden is now winning.
That would be good.
But because Florida was such a bellwether for the way the entire election was going
to go and Trump outperformed the polls so much in Florida, it felt like just like 2016,
it felt all of a sudden like we were losing the election again, just like 2016.
I was getting triggered by that fucking projection on CNN and NBC.
That's fucking noise.
Yeah, you know what really fucked with people and literally swung millions of dollars on
betting sites was the New York Times needle.
People really trust the needle and when the needle starts moving, because that's what
people remember from the 2016, they're like, ooh, the needle had it first.
And then you start looking at the needle for Georgia, Florida, and what was the other state
that had?
North Carolina?
Yeah, those three.
It was like all likely Trump, likely Trump, yeah, and you're like, oh no, the needle.
I remember this feeling.
And suddenly when the early returns in the Midwest came in, it's like Trump is also
winning in Michigan and Ohio and oh my God, it's fucking happening again and you're sending
me real estate in Queensland.
You're sending me A-frames in Canada.
Yeah.
That A-frame is in NUSA.
Oh, is it?
Yeah.
I'm fully, I'm all in on NUSA.
Yeah.
I want to move to Australia, but maybe I won't have to.
That's when, that was the low point.
It was like around, I think it must have been like 9, 10, 11 p.m. Pacific time here.
So it was like around midnight year time, everything started to feel exactly like 2016.
And then only the polls gave us more hope.
It's like, wait, no, Biden was up 11 in Michigan, Biden was up nine in Pennsylvania.
Why was he down, how is he down eight?
Are they cheating?
What the fuck is happening?
Right.
The polls are, like they're always wrong just enough for Trump to win.
That's what we need to learn.
Like, yes.
Like why, why is it off by that exact amount to make it a 11,000 vote lead?
Well, first of all, all the votes are not counted yet.
So maybe by the time the votes are all counted, it will be a similar polling error to 2016
or it might be smaller.
Like it, we don't know what the final polling thing is going to, we don't know what it's
going to be.
It was, it was very big in Florida.
Yeah.
But until the vote, huge era era, huge, God damn it, huge error in Florida, major.
But I think the other ones might be more in line with the 2016 polling error, which
is still the polling error.
No more, no more, the thing that has to be fixed is, is the fixation on the polls.
Like I just, you don't have to care about them.
You don't have, like I think they exist and they should exist for the campaigns to decide
where they should spend their money and where they should go.
But they are not for us.
They are not for us to look at and to be like, good, we're in good shape here.
It's not for us.
It's for like internal people.
If we don't, we cannot care or think that we're safe because of the polls because we
are not.
Well, this is where I differ with some of my Twitter friends.
A lot of people are mad at Nate Silver and I sort of go to bat for Nate Silver.
People hate Nate Silver.
I love Nate Silver.
Okay.
So we're on the same page.
I'm like, Nate is not polling.
He's aggregating the polls.
You're reading what he's compiling and you just are mad because he's telling you what
the range of outcomes is.
I think that's fine.
But people are like, fuck you.
You're wrong.
You keep giving us hope or you're saying one thing and another thing happens.
By the way, he said 90 percent chance Biden was going to win and Biden is probably going
to win.
That's where we're at right now.
So he wasn't wrong and he was analyzing some pretty incorrect polls.
So that's pretty good, I think.
And he was also saying like exactly the path that Trump had.
He was saying, he said that like 10 to 15 percent chance of winning is very small, but
it's not impossible.
And the places where it was close were all of these swing states and all of these battleground
states.
And yeah, I don't know.
People are mad at Nate Silver.
I remember being mad at him in 2016 when it felt like he was casting more doubt on Clinton's
chances than other people.
I'm like, just stop it with your, like just fucking admit that this dude's going to lose
so I can feel better.
And then he won and that people were mad that he got it wrong.
So I don't think he can win.
We read the polls for peace of mind.
And then when it gives it to us, we're mad that we were duped this whole time.
Like, did you want me to feel this level of anxiety?
I can't.
I can't sleep for three hours a night every night for four years straight.
So at least I was lied to for four years.
God, I was just thinking today about how long four years feels.
Like, four years has been a long time.
We can't do it again.
We cannot do it again.
The morning after Trump feels like the last episode we recorded, which is pretty a pretty
fun listen to because we are despondent during it, I think slightly better this time around.
It feels like it feels like 10 years has passed since then and also like two weeks.
And of the last four years, I felt like half of it was yesterday.
Yesterday morning feels like three months ago.
I don't even remember what I was doing.
Time truly has no meaning at all whatsoever.
So while this is happening, you're not tuned into the bedding aspect of it.
But I was like, oh, I bet on some Biden earlier on.
And I'm like tracking the Vegas odds, basically, like how he's doing amongst gamblers
because those guys don't give a shit about polls.
It's just about like what's actually being bet on.
And before when the Midwest was trending to Trump and he had taken Florida and he was
going to take Ohio, he went from a like two to one favorite to a four to one underdog.
A hundred dollar red on Biden would have won you four hundred dollars.
Basically, Vegas was saying there's a 25% chance Biden is going to win.
And I'm like, oh my God, it's happening again.
It's going.
It's happening.
And then do you remember where things started to turn around a little bit?
I think.
Well, yeah, I mean, Arizona, when Arizona closed and it seemed like Biden could flip
Arizona.
Yep, that was it.
Yeah, I think that was that was the big one.
And then I mean, just knowing that some of like the Midwest, like Blue Wall states didn't
have anything reported from their like main cities and that Trump was like outperforming
or sorry, Trump was underperforming and Biden was overperforming in some of these counties.
That was a good moment.
Which which wall guy, which interactive mapsman were you watching the most?
Who did who stole your heart?
You know, I am a Kornaki head.
I was on MSNBC.
MSNBC.
I think like there was who's the CNN guy is?
What's his name?
John John Gray, I think.
Yeah, he's he's really good.
I like him a lot.
But I just I don't like the other CNN coverage as much.
I like the MSNBC because I just love Kornaki.
I mean, I'm just a major Kornaki.
He's Zaddy to me.
Yeah.
And then I was I was the other way.
I was more CNN.
And then when CNN was down, I flipped over to MSNBC.
Oh, yeah.
I was the other way.
I was on.
I think I was on just like straight up NBC for a second.
I was watching Chuck Todd control their wall and I'm like, no, no, no, no, no.
Chuck Todd is not a wall guy.
You don't get the screen.
You aren't screen boy.
You're like you interview.
Boom, boom.
Yeah, you got to be a guy who's dexterous, hitting counties, showing me like whenever
I wanted to know how did Hillary knew boom, we're seeing how Hillary does.
And like these guys, they are it's so like they love it so much that like even when
it like cuts away, you still see Kornaki like just fucking all over the place.
Like, yeah, he's just curious himself, even when he's not reporting.
So he's showing their show and stuff like Biden's doing great in Arizona.
In fact, and it's like after Florida fucked us after Texas didn't go blue.
I'm like, he's just going to sweep the southern states.
Like Arizona has no chance.
And they're like, you know what, Biden is doing pretty fucking well here.
But they were still so nervous to call it for him.
And Fox News, of all people were like, yeah, Arizona, Biden.
Whoa, what?
That's a little early, don't you think?
Fox News is this like a reverse change.
You still haven't even called it yet, right?
Yes, a lot of times has not called it.
Right. CNN has not called it.
Five thirty eight. Fox News.
Fox News not only called it, they got reprimanded for it.
And this guy went on Fox News and was like, I straight up, I think he's he's clinched it.
It's over. He's not going to lose.
So he's like, not only he called it, he got pushed back and he fucking double down.
He's so sure of it. That guy should be president.
So then I'm like, OK, things are starting to flip.
And then we hear about the biggest fucking revelation of all these midwestern states.
Oh, by the way, they haven't counted any of their mail in yet.
They haven't counted any of your absentee.
So it's not like we're hoping for 60 40, Biden, because it's a 60 40, Biden County.
These are like 95 to five for Biden.
Like no Republican does mail in, I guess, in Milwaukee.
The the whole thing like makes me realize how like.
How like orchestrated it must have been from Trump, right?
Like he's he's been casting doubt on the mail in for such a long time.
Like, did he did he see this far ahead?
Or it is like, does he just do crazy shit and it works out?
And he like grasped onto it.
Because this does seem like there was like some forethought.
It's like, yes, same day, same day turnout,
trended Republican and we're counting the absentee ballots.
And now Trump is trying to like pause that.
But like, yeah, not only that, but I read some tweets that like
Republican lawmakers were the ones that even dictated the order.
Like, Michigan's like, we should count these absentee first
or like we should count the mail in earlier.
And I for I don't know how it worked detail wise.
But I guess Republican lawmakers were the one
was like, no, count that last so that, you know, it's exactly what
it's crazy clip of Bernie Sanders on TV, explaining exactly what would happen.
This red mirage, Trump will say that he won and then he'll
and then votes will come in and he'll claim that they're fraudulent
and want to fight it in the Supreme Court.
So that's what was happening right now.
And what is going to be determined is, I guess, one who wins legitimately.
And if it's Biden, it's still not over.
Like, yeah, there's relief, but there's not like celebration yet
because Trump is like, yeah, we'll go to the Supreme Court.
And you're like, oh, can you do that?
I don't know enough about the government.
Yeah, I don't I don't know either.
But I I the one thing that I that I'm fearful of is that every
batshit crazy thing he's tried to do does work.
Like, yeah, it doesn't how is it possible?
That is every single time every single time we're like, you can't do that.
Like, don't worry, he can't actually do that.
It's like, well, it's happening.
Did you see that it's happening?
Like he can't yet.
He can't claim victory.
Like, oh, he's all right.
That's what's happening.
He's doing that.
Like, all right.
But like, that doesn't actually mean anything.
He can't just like, take it to court.
Like, are you sure you filed a Supreme Court thing to take it to Pennsylvania?
What if he wins?
Like, all right, he won't want Pennsylvania, but he can't do it in Georgia.
All right, he did in Georgia.
So I feel like I still feel like nervous that that can happen.
But I'm also I guess how do you feel about just like the state of America?
We'll we'll come back to like day of nearly like one level above the lowest level.
The lowest level would be Trump winning again.
And then like one level above that is Biden having to squeak out
a very close contested battle in which Trump has gained votes since 2016.
That's yeah, I'm I'm sad for the future.
I'm I'm despondent about our broken country still because the weird thing is,
is like you see a lot of like crazy ass Mac people and you're like,
oh, they're not all like that.
But then they almost must be because that is.
Those are the mascots.
Those are like the main people.
Those are the guys on the team.
Yeah, but they must not.
I mean, he's going to get sixty eight to seventy million votes,
you know, forty fucking percent of the country.
No, less than that.
There's four hundred million, not a hundred percent of the country.
Yeah, forty percent, forty eight percent of the voting number.
They don't all go to the the rallies.
No, they don't all go to the rallies, but I'll tell you what,
you know, like what comment I really am fully behind at this point
when Hillary said the bucket of deplorables.
Yeah, basket of deplorables.
And everyone was like, that's a huge mistake.
You should not have done that.
Like you. Yes, 100 percent.
Yes, there's not there's not like there.
Yeah, they're a dumpster of deplorables.
They're fully all deplorable.
You can't like the guy.
You cannot vote for him.
And I think there's a lot of casual Trump fans.
It's like almost like a if you like it into a sports metaphor,
not every football fan is painting their face
and going into the goal line and fucking crushing beers.
But a lot of them are silently rooting for home
because they hate the other team.
So I think there's a lot of rich, white, normal people who are like,
Trump is fucking crazy, man.
I mean, he's nuts, but like I'm not going to let a socialist run America.
So he's got my vote. Right.
So but like even at that point, they have to be a little crazy
because like if you studied anything,
you would know that Biden is not like the far liberal left
that people are like afraid of.
He's not one of the crazy Democrats like Trump is trying to say.
Like now, how can you be a reasonable person and be like,
I don't like Trump, but I really I really don't want a freak show like Joe Biden in there.
He's been in Congress.
He's been in the Senate for 47 years.
What are you talking about?
He's very pro police.
I think people are afraid of him dying or going away soon
and giving it to Kamala Harris, who's like a woman gasp of color.
Oh, no, it's over.
That's what the socialists are.
That's what the Uber liberal elite want.
And I got to stop it with my vote.
And I'm not going to tell a pollster I'm racist because they'll judge me.
So I'll just quietly go about voting for Trump.
I guess I'm like.
What I what I wished happened was that the the the vast majority
of the country rebuked the president.
That's what I want.
But I mean, it didn't happen like who looked at the last four years
and was like, I have no notes.
In fact, I prefer it that way.
Like with climate change, you can deny it and say,
oh, who knows what will happen in 40 years?
Coronavirus, I thought was like, all right, this is climate change and hyper speed.
It's happening right now.
A thousand people died.
He just said nobody's dying.
That's wrong. He doesn't get my vote.
Take your pick of literally any issue.
Like if you don't, it's true, any issue at all.
You all you have to do is just look at who the president is
and be like, he riles up people around this issue.
Like a president is just supposed to try to unite people.
That is it.
Just try to like calm things down, keep things copacetic,
a steady hand at the wheel.
It feels like we had for America's never, ever been perfect.
But it feels like we had like a car that was pretty good.
It had its quirks, a weird history.
It was like in a flood or something, but it was working.
It was fine. It's a good it was a good car that we loved.
And then it was like sort of breaking down
and we gave a crazy guy a hammer
and he just like has been hacking at the engine for four years.
And Joe Biden, like whether you like him or not,
he's at least a mechanic.
He's like, give him the wrench
and let him see if he can do something because this other guy is just like
he's he's taking a dump under the hood.
There's like he's not a president.
And the more we dislike him, the more his base likes him.
Like everything we dislike, like the dancing is insane.
So we're obviously going to make fun of it.
And then he posts the dancing and everyone's going crazy.
Like what an awesome dancer.
So it's like, OK, whatever we think,
they think the exact opposite about us.
Yes. And that is my biggest problem is that, like,
I think it's because of him that that we've retreated so far into the corners.
Like after the morning, after Trump, that that old episode that we did,
we talked about how we needed to like try to connect with people
and and bring them back to reality.
And I feel like four years of him has pushed them even further away from reality.
Like now it's just so it's so tribalized that we're not ever
going to be able to connect with someone because as soon as you hear that
they voted for Trump, you're like, oh, we're like not on the same team.
We stand for none of the same things.
We fundamentally hate each other.
That's not where tearing families apart.
Yeah, it's not where we're supposed to be.
But then all right. So here's the my other thought is just that I.
At this point, I'm disappointed in America.
But as long as Biden can eke out the victory,
as long as we can get this guy out the fuck out of there.
That put I'm I guess I'm ready to be tribalized.
Like I I don't care about these deplorable Americans
that tried to elect a racist rapist.
I as long as he's gone, as long as they're sad, I'm happy.
There's a lot of them.
There's a fuck ton of them.
But I'm just like, they're not my friends.
They're I don't know them.
They're gone. They're nothing this morning.
This morning, I started following some of them because it's like,
oh, I didn't want to follow them for four years as they were bragging.
But like it is kind of fun to see in my timeline of someone being like,
we could still win Arizona.
And then suddenly I'm the one saying like how like to them.
I'm like, oh, this is fun.
I get to troll the trollers a little.
Have you been reverse trolling?
Yeah, well, it's not reverse trolling.
I was the original troll.
They were reverse trolling me.
Still no responses from the guy that runs students at Trump
or another sort of white supremacist looking guy
who I started to follow by searching for MAGA, Iowa, stuff like that.
So no one's no one's no one's no one's no one's no one's no one's no one's
no God, no, yeah, they wouldn't do that.
Are you waiting for that bite in W and then you're then you're really going to go ham.
Well, everything they're saying is like what we would say.
Like, imagine they were they were as sure as we were
that their candidate was going to win.
So like, imagine we wake up and Trump won by 25 a percent of the vote.
We'd be like, this is fucked up.
This is rigged. This is not right.
And then if Biden was like, we looked at the polls and something has really messed up,
we would also be like, what the hell? What should we do?
Like, we got a revolt. We got to do something about it.
And that's exactly how they feel.
They feel like their their election was stolen.
The the leader says so.
The leader claim he said, I claimed Pennsylvania
when there were still over a million by claim victory.
Yeah, stop the votes.
Stop the counting in Pennsylvania.
Recount in Michigan.
Recount in Arizona.
Stop it in with no recount Wisconsin.
Stop in Michigan.
Stop Pennsylvania.
You were only down by 100,000 in Arizona.
We got to keep counting.
Meanwhile, they're up by or we're up by 10,000 in Michigan,
which I feel like is insurmountable.
So let's stop there.
It's so clearly orchestrated,
illustrated who who can not see this guy for the con man that he is.
I did. Hey, I mean, I think that's part of the issue is that everyone knows he's a con man.
And like you're saying is like because we're the two teams,
it doesn't matter if they like him or not or think that he's lying or not.
Because what he's doing, what they want him to do is get under our skin
and piss us off and own us.
And that's as long as he's doing that,
his craziness is like what they expect and want.
Yeah, I wonder.
I wonder if this team is like egging him on or like, are they telling what to do?
Or they isn't like they're treating like a baby with a with a shotgun and like,
all right, easy, just relax.
Or is he like the star of the football team where they're like, yeah, fucking Donald.
Tell him, tell him, say you fucking won Pennsylvania.
You're the man. You could do whatever you want.
I don't know. I really don't know.
And then they have to walk behind him and cleaning up his mess.
Rudy Giuliani has to like walk around him with a fucking dossier filled with empty papers,
like trying to like reverse justify.
So here's what happened.
They didn't tell us where the polls are being counted.
So stop counting the votes that already did count.
That'll go to the Supreme Court.
And then I think there's something else ruffling through a fucking Manila envelope.
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This is the experience I had.
As I'm watching Biden be up like 10,000 in Wisconsin or whatever,
it had the same feeling as when I would watch a Golden State Warriors game
and they were down by four.
And it's like that's the same as them winning by 10.
Something is going to happen.
This guy will pull out a victory.
And I can just see this lead going away.
And then for some reason, Biden's down a couple hundred thousand votes
in Ohio.
And I'm like, all right, well, are there any liberal places left
where we can get some?
Turns out they were not.
Yeah, when you're behind, I'm thinking that Biden can pull off a miracle.
And when Trump is behind, and Biden is up,
I'm just thinking that he's completely fucked.
So were you awake?
This was like 2 a.m., 3 a.m. Pacific time.
I don't know what your sleep schedule was.
Were you awake when they realized that Wisconsin was slowly coming back to Biden
because they were like counting?
They got the data dump of votes from Milwaukee.
No, I went to bed before that because
like on all of these places, they were basically like
these liberal counties are left, their absentee ballot is left,
but they aren't counting it yet.
And it's like, these are going to be reported tomorrow.
And I was just like, I can't just stay up and watch Trump continue
to run up these numbers.
I need to just go to bed.
I woke up in the middle of the night and I was like,
don't look at your phone.
Don't look at your phone.
Don't look at your phone.
You won't be able to.
That's too late.
The minute you're awake.
Yeah.
And then I looked real quick or real quick and I saw the Wisconsin thing and I was like,
I was able to sleep just because I remember in 2016,
I went to bed before they called the election and I was like,
maybe I'll wake up and it will be a miracle.
But like it was the writing was already on the wall.
And instead I woke up at like 4am and I like just saw that
they had like called Florida and it was like, basically it was over.
So I woke up to knowing that it was over.
And this time I woke up to knowing that we wouldn't have an answer,
which is kind of how I went to bed.
So it was good ultimate.
So what was your sleep schedule?
I went to sleep pretty early.
Like I think I went to bed around midnight.
Oh, wow.
That is early.
And I woke up at 7.
Oh, wow.
So fairly normal schedule.
Fairly normal, except for the 20 minutes I spent at like 4am on my phone.
But yeah.
Even then I was just like, okay, Trump, they didn't win.
That's all I needed to know.
Yeah.
I was going to go to bed around one and then they were like,
Wisconsin is walking in with hard drives filled with new votes.
And we're going to get those two right away.
I'm like, all right, it's 1am.
I'm just going to keep going.
And then the votes finally came in at 2.
And it's like, all right, Biden's in the lead in Wisconsin.
And we're supposed to hear from Michigan soon.
I'm like, all right, let's fucking stay until Michigan.
And then suddenly it's like 3.30 in the morning.
I'm like, this is absurd.
They're not counting anymore.
Everyone is asleep in Pennsylvania.
I'm going to go to sleep too.
I go to sleep at 3.30.
I wake up at 7.30 to check.
And it's like Michigan is flipped too.
I'm like, all right, now I'm like in it.
I like wake up completely.
I only slept four hours.
Wow.
So you're all day watching TV, looking at your phone,
looking at your computer.
Have you like taken your eyes off of a screen today?
Yeah, very minimally.
Wake up seeing Michigan.
That's great news.
And then just waiting on Pennsylvania, slowly trickling in.
By the way, there's like full states
that are just like sitting at like North Carolina.
Just do something already.
You're at 95%.
There's like what, 100,000 votes left?
What's going on there in North Carolina?
I'm like flicking the map.
Like do something.
Yeah, I don't know.
I really don't know.
I'm like, all right, so Georgia is 91%.
But you know, very blue state votes coming in,
crunching the numbers.
How much is left?
How much does he need to win?
And then like 91% reported becomes 92%.
Okay, so they are awake.
Let's just keep counting and we'll get it all out.
Now we're going to take a break.
Yeah, like what are you doing?
So like the future of fucking American democracy
is riding on you guys.
Are you counting but not reporting?
Reporting but not counting?
And this is the other thing.
Like are they not allowed to make a better process?
I feel like Trump talking so much about the vote count
and the absentee ballots, all of this stuff.
Like why not just do a really good, efficient job
and then he won't be able to say that stuff?
Like I don't want him to be setting the stakes.
He shouldn't set the rules.
But couldn't we just have reported Michigan really,
really fast?
What if they just found it?
What if they're like, we know it's going to be tough,
but let's just count all the votes, the absentee ones,
right away.
I think they didn't know to what extent they'd be for Joe.
Like they assumed it would be pro Biden,
but they didn't know if it was 80, 20 or 90, 10 or even more.
They cheated, quite frankly.
So how do you, how are you election?
How are you feeling?
Do you feel like Biden's going to win?
Yeah, I'm feeling confident that Biden's going to win.
I hope it happens tonight because I don't want to go
through another night of like waking up in the middle of the night
just to check to see what's going on.
Like are they counting?
Did it call?
Did it do what?
I mean, he's so fucking close.
I don't know why Arizona, I guess Arizona is doing another one
of those dumping information into the system soon.
So maybe that'll 9pm, two and a half hours.
That'll get the New York Times and CNN to call Arizona for Joe,
hopefully.
And then it's just literally any other state, Georgia,
I'll take Pennsylvania, I'll take Nevada.
Nevada is just sitting there waiting for the fucking postman to show up.
Like, yeah, the mail is supposed to be coming today.
We'll probably get around to it tomorrow.
Why is Nevada, like Nevada isn't supposed to be close.
That one's supposed to be a Democratic one.
That's what I'm saying.
I mean, he is, unlike every other state where he's behind,
Joe is already in the lead there before the votes come in.
So like you can almost make a case that you can call that
if you can call Arizona, but they want to be extra careful
because if they call Nevada, they call the entire fucking election.
And if you're wrong about that, you're fucked.
Yeah.
And I guess part of the problem is that Trump, because they can't call this stuff,
Trump is just able to point to them not being able to call it.
And then the count's being hard for people to understand.
He's allowed to just say that it's wrong.
So it's annoying that it can't just be a wave of good information for us
that he can't repudiate.
He just has to slowly tiptoe towards the finish line
that by the time it gets there, they'll be like,
yeah, we've already fucking known for a day.
Just say it already.
And then once they do, then it's back to the fucking courts
and seeing if Trump can steal it in a way that isn't...
I mean, I hope the Republican senators and lawmakers start turning on Trump.
Some of them already have, based on his comments of like,
we are winning in Pennsylvania.
Chris Christie was like, yeah, he probably shouldn't have said that.
And Mike Pence was like, well, we have to count the votes, right?
We're not that fucking insane, are we?
Get in line, Pence!
Sorry, sir.
I was just saying, everything kind of hinges on, yeah.
No, I was saying that, like, yeah, we always,
you should count the votes, but I think you want to too.
Not the bad ones.
No, not the bad ones.
I mean, what's a bad vote if you think about it?
There are no bad votes.
They're always like just, like the president means,
like, oh, what are you talking about?
The president just means this.
The president means that you can't count votes
that were mailed, that were universally mailed.
No, no, you very, very plain letters wrote,
we are claiming Pennsylvania.
We cannot keep counting the votes of Pennsylvania.
That's the most anti-democratic thing a president has ever claimed.
Looking at his...
Mike, crazy here?
Looking at his Twitter feed, it's just like,
all of the tweets are labeled as false information.
You have to cook through all of them.
Yeah, I said it's like the end of Terminator,
where he's turning into all those things
that he used to be in Lava, like right before he dies.
So Trump is, like, slowly dying, and he's just like,
oh, it's rigged.
Also Benghazi.
Oh, check her emails.
Don't count the votes.
Count the votes.
And then he'll, like, turn it to just molten metal
or whatever the hell he's got.
No collusion.
No Pennsylvania.
No Georgia.
And most importantly, no collusion.
What if, I gotta, this one other state thing is frustrating
because I just feel like Georgia is going to be tough to pick off.
Pennsylvania is going to piss me off somehow.
But now they're saying Pennsylvania is going to be
firmly Biden by the time they get through it.
Like, it went from 74% recording to 86,
and he's cut into a 700,000 vote lead to 300,000.
So they're saying he's going to catch up
with some room even to spare.
Let's hope.
The cities will save us.
Detroit will never forsake you.
Milwaukee, thank you.
Philadelphia, Atlanta, all the big states in Arizona,
saving the day.
Who knew?
Yeah.
Cities, that's where it's at.
The electoral college is bad.
The senatorial system is awful.
That's insane.
There's no reason on earth that we should have two senators
from every state.
Why did they do that?
The system is so bad.
Joe Biden is up 72 million to 68 million.
That is good.
We don't need to keep sweating.
They should do American Idol rules.
That is it.
Why do they do an electoral college?
Supposedly it's more fair, but I think it probably overcorrects
it and becomes almost too reliant on smaller states.
The fact that you carry a state like California 65 to 32
should be worth more than winning Ohio by eight, plus,
I don't know, what's another Texas by four?
Yeah.
God, I definitely have had enough of the we could win Texas,
we could win Florida.
These flipping states for the first time,
every single election, they're always talking about
how it's like the democratic dream of flipping Texas
and it could happen this cycle.
Yeah.
I mean, Texas is a lot closer than Louisiana, Mississippi, Alabama.
And we won't flip those ones either.
So I guess we just have to keep hammering on Pennsylvania,
Michigan, Wisconsin, the big 10 states.
Yeah, we're just Philadelphia, Detroit, Madison, and Milwaukee.
Trump barely won Florida against Hillary.
I assumed sexism plus mishandling of the coronavirus
would equal 2% jump in the other direction.
Instead, he grew in Florida.
That white Cuban American vote, though.
Yeah, what the hell?
Cuban Americans?
I didn't even think about specifically how they vote
and who they vote for until they completely and utterly
let Joe Biden down.
Yeah.
I guess it's an anti-communism thing.
They all come from a communist country
and they hate communism.
Which should, in theory, be fine because Biden's not one.
What are your thoughts on Trump, though?
Do you like him or is it just like a vote
for the lesser of two evil situation?
You're just voting for the guy that told you
the other guy was a communist.
You didn't think at all.
You didn't think.
You didn't look into your own heart and say,
but is the other guy a communist
or is it just in that guy's interest
that I believe that he's a communist?
Which one is it?
We're so fucked.
We're surrounded by 70 million Trump supporters.
That's too many.
Fortunately, we're not surrounded by them.
They're out there on the outskirts.
I mean, I looked at L.A. and I'm like,
it's not like 90-10.
It's like 75-25.
There's still a million Trump supporters in L.A.
Yeah, no, they are among us.
That's definitely true.
Not okay.
It is.
Yeah, it's not.
But I think as long as we can squeak out that victory,
as long as we come away with him going away,
that's the whole ball game.
That's all that matters.
Can you imagine a world where he concedes,
where he sticks around and lets Joe into this White House
and they meet their wives and talk about a peaceful transfer
of power?
No, he's going to be kicking and screaming and crying.
What's the thing of the militia walking
and they're enforceably removing him?
That'll be pretty fun to see.
I hope that happens.
That'd be incredible.
Also, that could not happen.
It could just end up ruining our democracy.
So we'll see if that happens.
That'll be interesting.
That'll be a fucking nightmare.
And then I guess the Senate race in Maine
had the Democrat winning every single poll by like 5 to 11
and she lost.
That's right.
Is there a secret, what's her name in Maine,
the Republican senator that won?
Susan Collins.
Yeah, is there a shy Susan Collins vote in Portland,
Maine that we don't know about too?
Is that what it is?
Is that what gave Maine her a Republican Senate seat?
I have no idea.
It's wild.
That makes no sense to me.
She's so unpopular.
Maybe they did.
Maybe they did fudge.
I can also accuse people of cheating.
It's fun.
Oh, yeah.
That's possible.
Do they mean that we didn't do anything wrong?
They lost a bunch of Portland Maine votes.
Those were liberal votes.
Those should be counted.
Yeah.
Is there any truth to this 300,000 USPS ballots
that are somewhere out there?
I thought I just read on Twitter that they weren't lost,
that they were just like not scanned or not reported or something,
but I'm not.
I can't recall now.
Where were those 300,000 ballots from?
I don't remember Florida maybe.
There's too much misinformation.
Yeah, we just need time to go by.
But maybe or in an ideal world, Joe squeaks out the win, gets 270 exactly.
And then more time goes by and we continue counting
and we continue to run it up.
I want to rest easy and then get the bigger W
further down the road when they find more votes,
when the absentees all come in.
That's good.
But I'm not waiting for it.
Yeah, if he gets Nevada, which people are assuming,
that'll get him to 270 even.
But he can also get Pennsylvania and Georgia,
which would bring him over 300,
which is what Trump, I believe, said was a landslide victory.
So I guess it's a landslide.
I mean, if that happens, great.
But if Arizona and Nevada might be called tonight,
and then it will be over.
That'd be nice.
That'd be really nice.
We could fall asleep, not have to wake up in the middle of the night,
check our phones, go back to caring about sports like we used to.
God, will you start watching the EPL again?
Yeah, I guess so.
I'll have to find some more hours in the day
now that I'm not looking at basketball or polls that don't matter at all.
Yeah, polls don't matter.
The only thing that matters is Eric Kane and Gareth Bale.
What a strike.
Yeah, I'm looking there.
Oh, and eight this season so far, it looks like.
The Hotspur.
Yeah, they're actually not starting supporting.
Holy shit.
Harry Kane is blaming you for that.
This is crazy.
How does he know?
He knows who I am.
That's awesome.
I guess he thinks you're a cursed fan.
A cancer man.
This is so cool.
God damn it.
All right.
Well, thanks for listening.
Thanks for voting.
I guess we can continue our podcast seemingly.
For now, I mean, we don't know.
It's another huge deal.
We might, we don't know.
I don't think we can make a call actually.
Too close to call.
Our podcast is too close to call.
The podcast is too close to call, but maybe we'll know on Monday.
I mean, before Arizona saved us yesterday,
it was seemingly more likely than not we would have to end the show.
So fortunately, we've come out of that hole.
Yeah.
Well, let's do another show in Tempe because that
I want to reward Arizona and we'll never,
we will never do a show in Florida.
COVID, COVID, COVID.
All they talk about is COVID.
And you know what?
He's right.
We're not talking about COVID today.
So maybe he knows what we're talking about.
That's 100,000 cases today.
Whatever.
All right.
We'll be back on Monday.
Joe, Joe, Joe.
Let's go.
Let's go.
Go, go.
That was a hit gum original.