Jordan, Jesse, GO! - Ep. 466: Big Tup with Jackson Publick
Episode Date: February 6, 2017Venture Brothers' co-creator, Jackson Publick joins Jordan and Jesse for a discussion of sounds that Patrick Warburton can't make, Jordan's new slang for Tupperware, and Jesse's love for Icees. ...
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Give a little time for the child within you, don't be afraid to be young and free.
Undo the locks and throw away the keys and take off your shoes and socks and run you.
It's Jordan, Jesse, go. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart.
Jordan Morris, kind of close to beating Final Fantasy XV.
Every week on Jordan, Jesse, go, we spend an hour or so talking to each other in the third person.
Will you enjoy it?
Well, Jordan and Jesse might.
Well, someone who is not Jordan and Jesse,
there's no way to tell.
The magic eight ball says all signs point to no.
Final Fantasy what now?
15.
Is it a new Final Fantasy?
This is the most recent Final Fantasy, yes.
I think I just got, I think it's called the Father's Sword.
The Father's Sword?
Yes, this is a very useful sword.
It drains your life force, but it'll kill a guy.
Have you ever seen your father's sword?
It's weird to see your father's sword.
Yeah, my sword is uncircumcised.
Yeah.
Because my father wanted our swords to look the same.
I'm talking about our dicks, of course.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Exactly.
Well, congratulations, Jordan.
Thank you.
I'm not there yet.
But I think probably this episode's going in the can.
It'll be released in a couple of days.
I think by the time this is released, I will have beaten the main story.
I will not have finished all the side missions, but that's not really something that I do.
Do you go for 100%? You try to rack up
those little trophies that the computer
gives you? Nah.
I got some of those trophies.
It's nice to get a trophy. I got trophies for
Skyrim.
What's your most prized trophy?
I mean, for
killing enough dragons in Skyrim?
Do you know what it's called? Dragon trophy? I mean, for killing enough dragons in Skyrim, I don't know.
Do you know what it's called?
Dragon Trophy?
Yeah.
I mean, Dragon Champion?
Sure.
I don't fucking know. It probably has some sort of mythic name like, you know, the Scaled One or Master of Beasts.
It would be nice if when you got the trophy, do they have trophies on the new Xbox?
They only have Xbox 360.
Yeah, I think trophies are here to stay.
It'd be nice if it was like
when I used to have a Tandy laptop.
You know, the kind of laptop
where only half of the top opens.
You know what I'm talking about?
And it had this RadioShack operating system
that was like a little house
or a little office,
and you could go around and use different little apps in there, one color.
It'd be nice if when you got a trophy, it would put it into your home screen.
That would be nice.
Instead of just an ad for a video game-themed short video series brought to you by Doritos.
Yeah, I think the future of trophies,
it's like, congratulations, you are the beast lord.
Head to Coffee Bean for a free drip coffee.
Then you head over to Coffee Bean,
you tell them you're the beast lord,
you get a free drip coffee, a little bit of room. Can I have a small drip coffee, a regular drip coffee?
A little bit of room on top?
Yeah, that'll be $1.99.
I'm the Beast Lord.
Oh, I had no idea.
Welcome.
Welcome, Mr. Lord.
Thanks.
How many hours have you dumped into Skyrim?
Just a little bit of room for milk.
Yeah.
Whatever the Beast Lord wants.
Would the Beast Lord like a free day-old scone?
Our guest on this week's Jordan Jesse Go is the co-creator of the television program The Venture Brothers, which airs intermittently on television,
periodically. It's in tune with the phases of the moon. The coming and going of the comments.
Mr. Jackson Public, how are you, friend?
All right. How are you?
Thank you for joining us on the show.
Thank you for having me.
Are you making that show right now?
Yes.
When does new, because there was new ones like about a year ago yeah i think new ones were on and uh which for a normal television show would mean new ones would be coming right now but
uh we we just finished writing enough of the scripts that we're allowed to start making the show. The drawings.
Do they ceremonially hand you a sharpened pencil?
I hope so, man.
And a check.
I'm broke.
But I, you know, I can see why they do it like that.
I can see why they want to have the script done before they start drawing. You don't want to assume there's going to be a shark man in the episode.
What if there's not?
Yeah, yeah.
Believe me, we've started some
without having the first script.
Yeah, we are traditionally pretty late
with our scripts.
And like this season,
the network is like,
well, you got to have eight of the 10 of them
written before you start.
Normally we start with like two or three,
having intended to start with five.
And then, yeah, at some point you get to a place
where it's like, hey, we have to start episode eight today.
Is the script ready?
No.
At this point.
Here's what's going to happen in it, though.
Like I'm going to need a shark guy.
Sure.
I'm going to need shark guy boat.
Yeah.
Shark guy copter.
So you guys start the shark guy boat.
Yeah.
Start the shark guy stuff. That'll take a while. Yeah. That'll buy me a day and a half. Yeah. Shark guy copter. So you guys start the shark guy boat. Yeah. Start the shark guy.
That'll take a while. Yeah. That'll buy
me a day and a half. Yeah. At this
point when you see
your phone, the caller ID
says Cartoon Network or whatever.
That never happens. 1-800
Cartoon Atlanta.
And you answer the phone
is on the other is
you just immediately like, hi, Jackson Public speaking.
And you just hear, we have your children.
Deliver the scripts.
Is that what's going on?
We have the coach you want.
It's a nice one from DWR.
You just moved, but you can't have stuff anymore.
You say, I have a particular set of skills.
I can create a charming and funny pastiche of things from my childhood and turn it into a hit television show.
I can make reference humor.
I will find things from my childhood and I will reference them.
Good luck.
It is a television show.
I really enjoy Venture Brothers.
I do too.
I don't mean to be flip about the content of it.
I really like it.
No, I get it.
It is fucking funny as shit.
I like watching it and it is probably the nerdiest thing that my wife will tolerate.
Cool.
We get that a lot, actually.
Oh, that's nice.
We also get a lot of my wife made me watch this.
Oh, that's also really nice.
Yeah, yeah.
I do feel like whenever I talk to somebody about it who's more of a real nerd than me, it's sort of like when someone says to me baseball is boring and in my – I know not to say this out loud.
But in my head I'm thinking you're not watching the real game.
I feel like anytime I'm talking to someone else about the Venture Brothers, they're watching the real game.
I'm up here at the surface.
There are 20,000 leagues underneath.
Yeah.
Getting a rich experience that I can only dream of.
Yeah, we're not a big hit, but the people who like us generally really, really like us and get super into it, which is nice.
I like that kind of fan, and thank God there's enough of them that we get to keep doing it.
Once every seven years.
Stick with that schedule.
The old seven-year itch.
What is the most cosplayed as Venture Brothers character, would you say?
Because I feel like it is, you know,
every time I will flip through a cosplay gallery or something after a con,
it's half Venture Brothers characters at this point?
What do you think the most popular one is
uh i'm gonna say dr girlfriend or dr mrs monarch or whatever you want to call her sure and and her
different iterations so much that we started um leaning into it a bit and giving her costume
changes just because we're like i want to see somebody at the next Comic-Con in the cheerleader version
of her. Sure, yeah.
Really make them work overtime.
I like that you approach your
television program as if you
were the production director for a
Cher concert.
Gotta give her some costume changes.
Whatever works. Man, you gotta get those
scripts done.
Whatever gets you tippy-tappin'. Whatever works. Man, you got to get those scripts done.
Whatever gets you tippy tapping.
A floor-length gown and a headdress.
Let's do this.
Now, does Patrick Warburton know about our famous impression of him?
No, I don't even know about your famous impression. We probably have the most famous Patrick Warburton impression in the world.
Yeah.
Wow.
Except for-
It's kind of the definitive one.
Of course, we all remember Dana Carvey's George world. Yeah. Wow. Except for- It's kind of the definitive one. You know how like, you know,
of course we all remember Dana Carvey's George Bush.
Sure.
It defined,
in a lot of ways-
Not going to do it
would not be prudent.
Sure.
Read my lips.
You got it.
I'm George.
You got it.
Bush the president.
You got it.
Oh.
Hello, Martha Bush.
Dana Carvey calling.
Is my friend Ross Perot here?
He is.
It's me, Ross Perot.
I change tats.
What were we talking about?
Oh, how famous our impression is.
Yeah, I think when people remember Patrick Warburton in 20, 30 years yeah they'll remember our impression a little bit more than the man yeah in a funny way like we are defining patrick warburton in
the popular imagination it just is um uh you know it just as certain figures throughout history
have been have had their narratives shaped by later biographers. Rasputin. Teddy Roosevelt. Ben Johnson.
Van Johnson?
Van Johnson. I think so we are shaping the story of the life of nice suburban dad Patrick Warburn
who came over to my house one time.
He's a very nice man.
He is.
And he is a suburban dad.
He is.
Like, he, yeah, I just couldn't, when I met him in real life, having admired him below those many years,
not only on your television program, but television programs including but not limited to the smash hit NBC series NewsRadio.
I didn't know he was on that actually.
The Seinfeld Chronicles.
I would argue that his role on NewsRadio as Jimmy James' nemesis, Johnny Johnson, is his definitive role.
Some would say putty on Seinfeld, but I would say, or his long run on the hits had come,
Rules of Engagement,
on which he was actually the star.
But yes, I would say,
I'm going to go with, well,
maybe not Jordan.
Maybe the voice of Flying Over California.
Yeah, right.
Soaring Over California.
Soaring Over California.
Thank you.
Yeah, I just don't want Disney nerds to descend on us. Yeah, right. It's a sword over California. Soaring over California. Thank you. Yeah, I just don't want Disney nerds to descend on us.
Yeah, I apologize.
It's the last thing I fucking need right now.
I apologize.
It's the last fucking thing I need right now.
To all the Disney park enthusiasts.
Descending on me.
Is it fun to write things that he'll say?
I'd like-
This is not an interview podcast, but this is a question that's been burning in our hearts for years.
Is that as much of a source of joy as I think it would be?
It can be very much.
Okay.
The funniest thing about Patrick is that he can take a line that's not funny at all.
Basically, we give Brock Sampson as few words as possible.
And that works better.
That little thing that he does.
I met him
because I wrote for the Tick live
action show. Oh, neat.
He was the star of that.
The Tick in the cartoon had been...
I still remember Apocalypse Cow from that.
I still like to laugh at Apocalypse Cow.
That's cool.
That's from the pilot.
But yeah, the tick in the cartoon
had been a very loquacious character
with these monologues and this twisty language
and that was always part of it.
And as soon as you put a man in a suit,
you realize that doesn't work
and it's also
not like Patrick's thing like a fast
talking you know leaps of enthusiasm
kind of thing and yet like every line
that was just you know get get from point
A to point B he would just make funny
like you would constantly be laughing
yeah so you learn that like less is more with him because he can just give it so much weird
attitude, you know?
The funniest thing is he can't, there are certain sounds he can't make.
Oh, interesting.
Yeah.
Wait, can you, are you preparing us to create our own patrick
warburton shibboleth yeah um he he um there was like you know there was an episode where like uh
dr frencher had to ask him something yeah he's like brock am i a good person you know like it's
the end of the episode.
Doc's desperate about his life and so he's having an emotional moment.
And Brock's just supposed to go, eh, you know.
Yeah.
And he couldn't do it.
It was like – it's almost like he is a person who everything is so defined for that like he can't even relate to that emotion.
It's not a sense.
It's not an emotional or sense memory that he can access.
It was weird.
Yeah.
I thought, is that too Yiddish or something?
The thing.
And it was a.
He needs something more Teutonic.
Yeah.
But if the line had been no. No. It wouldutonic. Yeah. But if the line had been no, it would have been, yeah, it would have been, no.
And it would have been, it would have killed.
It probably would have been a funny.
In his defense, it's not a very Brock-like attitude.
And he calls me on those sometimes.
Like he, you know, like he'll read the lines.
I don't think Brock would really say that.
I usually do a better impression of him.
I caught myself almost starting to do one.
You sort of bailed on that.
And my throat was scratchy and I bailed.
Sorry.
Can't do it.
I don't think that sounds scratchy throat.
I don't think it really does.
It sounds that out.
Oh, it's fun to talk in the voice. I don't think. Scratchy throat. I don't think it really does. It sounds like I don't think.
Oh, it's fun to talk in the voice.
Can I get you guys' opinion on something?
Yeah, I need to.
I'm ready.
Okay.
I think I've stumbled upon a good idea.
Okay.
But I've been made to feel ashamed for it.
Okay.
Which I don't think is right.
Is the idea sexual? I feel like I'm being.
Is this idea sexual in nature?
No.
I mean, I think it's good enough that it will sexually arouse people, but it's just because
it's such a good idea.
Well, sexual side effects.
Yeah.
Dad sword level good.
Yeah.
Yes.
Yeah.
Right.
It'll enchant your dad's sword.
Got it.
So I will, from time to time, bring some leftovers to work to eat them.
Oh, that's a great idea.
It's an efficient way to use your dinner food the next day for lunch.
For lunch food.
Yeah.
We're just killing time at this point, Jackson, for your benefit.
I've only heard one other episode of your podcast.
I'm not a podcast guy.
No, no.
That's reasonable.
I don't listen to any because I don't.
That's as many as most people who have heard it have heard.
And it was the Eliza Skinner one.
You did about 20, 35 minutes on blueberries.
Yeah.
Good episode.
Nice, tight.
It was a good episode, actually.
A nice, tight 30 minutes.
You know what?
You guys were great.
I just shared a cab with her.
Oh, nice.
I was like, oh, let me listen to hers.
Good episode, good berries.
Yeah.
That's my opinion.
Best berries. Oh, no, you were into me listen to hers. Good episode, good berries. Yeah. That's my opinion. Best berries.
Oh, no, you were into blackberries, actually.
I've heard blueberries at the beginning, and then I realized, no, they're talking about blackberries.
I don't want to recover.
I don't want to retread over our old tired track.
Lord knows we never repeat ourselves.
I think we can all agree.
Did you know I'm from San Francisco?
I think you've mentioned it.
I think we can all agree that a sweet, fresh blackberry is a delight.
A fully ripened blackberry off the vine.
But a blackberry at the grocery store is a roll of dice and the odds are against you.
I just like them.
Okay.
I'll have a B minus blackberry.
It's a lot of fun.
I like picking seeds out of my teeth.
Got it.
So I'll bring some leftovers to work and I'll bring them to Tupperware.
That's a great idea.
Jackson, how long have we been going so far?
When can I go home?
I have a final fantasy to beat.
So, okay.
This next part doesn't make me look good.
Okay.
I'm taking the jacket off.
Do it.
This is a new garment to me.
Oh, okay.
As of today.
Yeah, it gets a little warm in here.
I have a sweater that I think is probably coming off at some point, too.
I got a shirt that I'm, it's about 90% of the way off already.
Yeah.
I'm already Burt reynolds in this shit um so sometimes what i'll do you know i'm a i'm a busy guy
can i commend you by the way yeah i want to commend you and i hope that you're bagging
his lunch jackson i hope that you'll i hope that you'll notice this you know jordan knows
that the next part of the story is not going to make him look that great.
Yeah.
But he's not afraid to share it.
Here I am, warts and all.
Yeah.
And he has-
Sorry, jorts and all.
Jorts today.
Love my jorts.
And you love me.
It's a package deal.
Yeah.
And also it makes my package look good, the George.
My balls hang out a little bit.
Just a little.
All right.
A soup salt, as the French say.
A little peak.
Oui, oui, oui.
Yeah.
Is what you do in your church.
I almost said, ooh, a little peak for daddy, and I'm like, that's too gross.
Don't say that.
So I didn't.
A little peak of daddy's sword. Yeah, right too gross don't say that so i didn't a little peek
of daddy's sword yeah right i was almost about to hurry you up like okay so it's so fucking
and then i was like why would i do that spoiler alert this is a bad story this is not very
interesting so what i will do sometimes plastic tupperware i yeah plastic tupperware my my fiance
insists on the glass now oh interesting gotta watch out Kind of. Got to watch out for that BIPA.
Yeah.
Yeah, sure.
You got to watch out for BIPA.
But, yeah, I mean, I like kind of having the option if I leave something in the fridge too long and I don't want to, like, scrape mold off something just tossing it out.
Yeah.
You know, not ideal.
Obviously very wasteful.
Like, I know exactly what you mean.
If there's fucking mold in there, fuck it.
It's out of here.
Sure.
You can replace it.
Again. You can't unsee the mold in there, fuck it. It's out of here. Sure. You can replace it. Again.
You can't unsee the mold.
Yeah, exactly.
The next time I have something out of that, I'm like, oh, remember when there was fucking mold in there?
Yeah.
You know what else is good about the plastic one?
And we're going to get back to your balls and the jorts in a second.
What's nice about the plastic ones, Jackson, is you can buy-
Specifically.
Just go to the store.
Give him a chance Jackson.
Just take a second look at those.
I know you've written them off.
Give it another look.
Who wears the pants at your house?
I'm trying to bring America back together.
America has been rent asunder.
Sure.
If I can serve as the needle
and thread that shows back the two halves of
this once great nation,
then I will,
I'm not afraid to do it.
Please do.
You can buy like 20 of them.
Yeah.
And then if you lose them,
it's not a big deal.
You always have them.
So if you make stock,
for example,
and you're like,
shit,
I need a bunch of these to put this in my freezer for future soups.
Don't worry about it.
You got it covered even if you already have some chili in the freezer.
Right.
Yeah.
Because they're nesting dolled in your-
But I'll tell you this right now.
My preferred brand, and I'm not bragging, is Glad.
It's a premium brand yeah yeah i went all
the way buying target up and up brand top well jordan don't speak so soon i went all the way to
a big box store whose name i shan't reveal an archthemed big box store. And I needed two things, Jordan.
You mean Cheetah Davises?
Yeah.
Cheetah Davises.
Stuffing things.
I needed two things.
I needed staples because my daughter has been writing books lately, and she staples them together.
Like novellas?
lately and she staples them together and like novellas um well sort of in between a short story like a long short story short novella yeah roman a cliff yeah yeah and uh pied a terre
and uh i needed those two things from target. Number one. Staples and what else? And the Glad, my preferred brand.
The Gladys.
Because you lose them, you crack them.
Sure.
You know, they went to the office.
Oh, we threw it away at the office.
Oh, forgot to bring it home.
Oh, it got smelly.
Whatever.
Okay.
Yeah.
Exactly.
Yeah.
Number one, there's no greater fool's errand than to go to Target with two items in mind.
Even one item is less of a fool's errand than two.
Because one, you're just like, I'm just going to get this fucking thing.
And on your way in, you just grab someone who's at the counter and say, where's the pull-up diapers or whatever it is.
They tell you.
You just go there and you bring it back angry the whole time.
And then to cool yourself out, you get an icy.
Popcorn's pretty good too.
Popcorn's good there.
If you get two things, there's no way you're going to – there's no way that you're is going to carry you through the turn necessary.
There's no way that they're anywhere near each other either.
So I have my daughter with me, five years old, not nuts about going to Target because she's not getting a toy there.
Go to the stationery aisle.
You made this clear.
You couldn't put – there was no room on the Post-it to write also toy underneath Staples and Gladys.
One toy.
I spent 15 minutes wandering through the three aisles of stationery trying to find Staples.
Then I picked up that phone they have
and i called the people but there was no answer there was no dial tone on the phone and i'm so
far i think this is a very common misconception is that that red phone calls a target employee
it actually calls batman oh god sorry well i would have loved to have had the Batman's help. Yeah. If only there was some sort of signal.
Anyway, I couldn't get it.
So then I finally grabbed a security guard and he came over and looked and he says, I'm not so sure.
So he left and said, I'll come back.
Came back like five, ten minutes later.
I'm desperately trying to entertain my five-year-old with a manager.
The manager says, oh, yeah, they're right here.
He looks and he says, oh, geez.
Yeah, you know.
And then he's talking to the security guard
and he says, you know, sometimes the guests
just grab them all and don't leave you with anything.
The guests.
Jesus Christ.
Or you're not doing your job over there, security guard.
Yeah.
And then he says, he looks at me and he says,
You're all fucking fired.
And he says, you know, honestly, I can't tell you exactly what's going on here.
I'm as confused as you are.
There should be staples here.
That's what he said.
There should be staples here.
And he goes, these are the staplers.
And I'm like, yeah, that's what I'm thinking.
They should be next to each other.
Yeah.
And he says-
Some of them come preloaded maybe.
Maybe you need a stapler.
He says, I'll go take a look.
I'll take one out of the box and I'll pull up-
It's a con job to get you to buy a whole other stapler just because there's some staples in there.
Comes preloaded. I'll go. I'll find you other stapler just because there's some staples in there. It's preloaded.
I'll find you some.
I'll get over there.
I'll find you some staples.
Disappears.
Ten minutes later, comes back.
I'm sorry, sir.
There's no staples.
Nothing.
I've never seen anything like this.
So I just bought a stapler that came with staples.
I was like, the stapler that came with staples was $2.64.
staples i was like the stapler that came with staples was two dollars and 64 cents and i just hated myself so deeply for not having just grabbed that and been like fuck it it's two dollars and
64 cents instead of one dollar and 78 cents yeah oh you could have your you could have saved false
45 minutes but i relate so the idea of not wanting to have two staplers in your house because it gets used twice a decade.
And in those two cases, it's exclusively for one of my children to hurt one of my other children.
So then I go over to the Tupperware area, disposable Tupperware.
You know how many?
I'm thinking, you know about my system Jackson
get yourself 24 of those
and just
just spread them out
on the ground
make snow angels
you know what I mean
yeah yeah yeah
but I've made this entire trip
to Target
because you can't get them
on a popular
you can't get them
at the Trader Joe's
grocery store
you can't get them
at the farmer's market
and you can't get them
on a popular
online retailer where I purchase many of my consumer goods. Okay. So I'm like, I'm going
to go to Target and just get them, but I want them all to match. So I got too many tops and
not enough, you know. Right. One box of three is what they had. So you know what I had to do?
Switched over to up and up brand. Anyway, long story short, two and a half hours later, I left with a $125 bill.
I do not know what else I bought.
Just went into a daze, bought some sporting goods.
I don't even fucking know.
I have a highlight set now.
Where am I?
Did we even get to your reason for bringing Tupperware?
Well, here we go, guys.
Now that we took a fun detour.
Now we're in for another story.
Yeah.
Yeah.
All right.
Yeah.
I mean, if this was Final Fantasy XV, that would have been a fun side quest to find some
car wax, and you wonder why you did it.
Now we're off to, this is the main, the main quest.
Now we're off to the right place.
Yeah.
What portion of Final Fantasy XV is set at Target?
Most of it, yeah.
You kind of like, and then, you know, you're stuck through a porthole, portal, excuse me,
into what they call Nega Target.
Oh, okay.
And that's a target from another dimension.
Is that like a super target?
Yeah, it's a little bit like a super target.
There's a McDonald's in there.
Got it.
So.
There's a bank window.
Yeah, right.
Yeah.
And like more produce.
Got it.
And it's pretty good sometimes.
Okay.
They still got Icy's?
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
You know they got Icy's at Nega Target.
Here's the thing, though.
It's because it's Nega Target, they taste bad.
Oh, no.
Yeah.
Nega I, they taste bad. Oh, no! Yeah, that's what-
Nega Icy.
So, this is the part of me that I don't like.
After I- so all I'll do is I'll scoop my lunch out onto a plate, put it in the microwave or whatever.
For dignity.
For what?
Exactly.
No, I'm not eating it out of a Tupperware.
That's, you know.
You don't nuke it in the Tupperware?
I don't. Uh-uh. Okay eating it out of a Tupperware. That's, you know. You don't nuke it in the Tupperware? I don't.
Put it on a plate.
Again, I have concerns about BPAs.
There we go.
Don't we all.
So I will leave the dirty Tupperware in the sink because I work in show business.
There are people whose job it is to clean things.
Holy shit.
So at the end of the day-
There's a Tupperware cleaner at your office?
Yeah.
It's a union job too.
That guy makes $50,000 a year.
Wow.
That's awesome.
With benefits.
Good job.
So I will-
What union is that?
Longshoremen?
Yeah.
Yeah.
The Tupperware local 412.
Just get a call at the union hall.
Oh, some asshole left a Tupperware in the sink down at at midnight.
We're going to need half a day.
So I leave the dirty Tupperware end of the day or end of the week.
It's clean.
It's been cleaned for me.
And I take it home.
So sometimes I'll even let them pile up a little bit.
And again, I am not proud of this.
In the sink?
Like, I will put them in the sink,
and then someone will clean them and put them away.
Okay.
You do know who it is that cleans them?
There's a fleet of them.
They're all very nice.
I probably know their first names.
Yeah. Because that's just the kind of guy I am. And, you know, all very nice. I probably know their first names. Yeah.
Because that's just the kind of guy I am.
And, you know, hey, listen, I did this shit.
Well, technically-
I've done some-
Technically, you're the kind of guy that leaves a Tupperware in the sink for-
A non-work thing for them to clean.
Yeah.
I'll bet they know your name, too.
Yeah, it's written on those fucking Tupperwares.
Yeah, right?
Because they curse me at night when they can't go home because they have to clean my Tupperwares.
Anyway, so end of the weeks here.
I've built up a couple of these.
They're on the shelf.
And so I'm like kind of grabbing them all and getting ready to go home.
And it's a small kitchen, so it's kind of crowded.
It's, you know, there's people in there coming and going, getting coffee, making stuff.
It's a lot of cherry clans.
I had to push past someone.
Oh, I had to actually push past a guest on this show, Allie Gertz.
I had to push past her to get my Tupperware from the-
Get the fuck out of the way, Allie Gertz.
And I just had a little bit of inspiration.
I said, excuse me, I need to get by here.
I need to grab my tuppies.
She said, ugh, never say that again.
I think tuppies is great, but she thinks it's gross.
Yep.
What?
Are you with on her side?
No, I agree with that whole sentence.
What I said is true, that I think one thing and she thinks the other thing.
No, listen, don't sit on the fence on this, guys.
I need you to take a fucking firm stance because that's what got us into this whole fucking Donald Trump mess.
I wish I –
People sitting on the fence.
People being wishy-washy.
Gray area.
I don't know.
Maybe.
But this.
Time to fucking take a stand.
Make a decision.
Sign an executive order.
Where are you?
Where are you on this important issue? Is it
okay to call Tupperwares Tuppies?
Okay. Ironically.
I'm going to defer to
Jackson. I'm going to defer to Jackson
because he's our guest.
Not on the radio.
Not in public. Not to
any Gertz.
Allie or otherwise. All Ali or Jamie sure yeah there's gotta be some more cubby right Timbo all fat fat sure Lester you know
maybe to your significant other around the house.
That's okay.
And I think always with just a hint of irony.
Like, I know this is awful.
Okay.
Yeah.
That's a very diplomatic response.
That's, I appreciate that.
I'm a diplomatic guy.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I appreciate that.
So it's a circumstantial thing.
Like, don't, you know, to like, you know, casual friends, work people.
Well, I don't want to be all word bullies on you.
No, sure. I would say never, casual friends, work people. I don't want to be all word bullies on you. No, sure.
And say never, ever utter the T word.
But, yeah, you should be embarrassed if you do.
Okay.
That's fair.
No.
That's a thoughtful response.
I appreciate it.
And it does make you a racist.
Jordan, I think that normally, and you can back me up on this, normally my friend Jackson Public here and I are on the same page.
We both love Tom Swift and his flying lab.
Yeah.
We both love sneakers.
Not today, but yeah.
Yeah, I'm not wearing them today, but I love them in principle.
I like those nice vans
you're wearing thank you uh and uh you know we both love uh his television show the the venture
brothers well i i really enjoy i don't love it as much as some people do they're getting it on a
whole other level from me i don't love it as much as others but i mean it's amazing to me how much
they love it it's spectacular and i wish i, it's amazing to me how much they love it. It's spectacular.
And I wish I could get the things out of it rather than just enjoying it a lot.
Are you a guy who can't love things that much in general?
No.
You love everything a little?
I think they're just getting a deep.
Nothing a lot?
I think they're just getting a really rich depth.
Right.
I'm enjoying it as a delicious
frappe.
And they're savoring it like a fine wine.
Yeah. Or a Game of Thrones.
Yeah.
So my point here is that
normally my friend Jackson Public and I
are on the same page.
In this case,
our paths diverge.
My only wish, Jordan, is that case our paths diverge mm-hmm my only
wish Jordan is that you were a uniter
when I'm a guy I am Pelosi over here
Jesus Christ I'm changing tunes I'm now
a dissent crusher mm-hmm I my only wish
is that when I was in that unnamed big
box store no one will ever know what brand of store it was.
I had had the opportunity to say to that manager, sir, thank you for your ultimately fruitless help with these staples.
I'm just going to get this $2.64 stapler that comes with staples.
Now, will you point me towards your tuppies?
I prefer the GLAAD brand.
Oh, but I'll take enough.
See, that's weird.
Yeah.
Why is that weird?
To use the nickname based on the brand name and then go, but not that brand.
You're so extra wrong now about all of this.
You can't call a GLAAD storage container.
I don't need to.
I'm tired of your protests.
What is that?
Un-American.
Sad.
We're going to take away your federal funding.
What is the corporate neutral term for that?
Plastics storage container?
Yeah, I wonder.
Like adhesive bandage.
Right, sure.
Or cotton swab.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, I think it's food storage convenience.
Who are these poor bastards who go into business trying to compete with the people who –
Yeah.
Having an alternate cotton swab. You know, it's time to get into the cotton swab business. to compete with the people who like- Having an alternate cotton swab.
You're like, you know, it's time to get into the cotton swab business.
Competing with Tupco?
Yeah.
With Big Tup.
You know, usually my policy-
They're the little guy.
They're the tuckers of this world who won't be shut down.
Usually I don't like to hear from the fans of this show.
God, no.
But on this matter, I feel like the people should judge.
What people?
Out there, the listeners.
There's no one out there, buddy.
I suspect there are.
Okay.
And if not, I know Brian's out there.
Brian, tell some people.
Yeah.
Brian's got friends. Yeah. Let them people. Yeah. Brian's got friends.
Yeah.
Let them know.
He's highly social.
Are you?
He's handsome and agreeable.
Are you on Team Tuppy?
Mm-hmm.
Or are you not on Team Tuppy?
And remember, if you choose no tupp, you're on the side of big showbiz.
Yeah.
Okay? you're on the side of big showbiz. Yeah.
Okay.
You might as well be signing up to write checks to Michael Bay because Mr.
Hollywood over here,
Mr.
I have my own television show that I make when I please. So I can buy whatever the fuck sofa I want.
Okay.
And I say vote yes on Tup.
Oh, but the bill is to like to ban the word.
Okay.
Okay.
It's confusing.
Yeah.
It's a little.
Yeah.
It's like a prop eight thing.
Yeah.
It's like a lot of people didn't know.
Is it proposition eight?
Yes.
It's no longer about gay marriage.
It's about can you call Tupperware Tuppies?
Tup eight.
Yeah.
That's going to be confusing too.
I mean. Yeah. Because there's a lot of. Vote yes to not T 8. Yeah. That's going to be confusing too. I mean –
Yeah.
Because there's a lot of –
Vote yes to not tupp.
Yes.
What?
Yes to not tupp.
Do you think we could get like Funny or Die to go back through their anti-Prop 8 things and just dub in Tupperware?
I mean honestly it would help my case.
This is a matter of human rights.
Sure.
When it comes to Tupperware, there can be no compromises.
We have
to call them Tuppies.
I'm
Jack Black.
You know who you should get to do this?
A celebrity, like a podcasting celebrity.
You know who I'm thinking of? Just off the top
of my head? Judge John Hodgman?
Oh, he's good. Can we get him?
He's a get.
He's good in everything. He's got stuff to do.
I was thinking maybe Allie Gertz.
Oh, sure.
She is Jamie Gertz.
Get Jamie Gertz. She's been very firm on this.
Oh, well, Allie and Jamie Gertz
are on opposite sides of this fence.
Oh, boy. Tearing apart
families like the Civil War.
Brother against brother.
Jordan against Kurtz.
So, yeah, in this case, I want to hear your – I mean, and if I am flooded.
Yeah.
And if I am flooded with mentions of people saying, you know, Tubbies makes me feel weird.
It makes me feel gross.
It seems like a sex thing.
You seem like a baby.
You seem like an adult baby.
Why are you doing this?
Are you wearing a diaper?
Are you a baby?
Are you an adult baby?
Are you breastfeeding?
Is that a baba?
In general?
Yeah.
I mean, you know, I think it's something people suspect about me.
Well, it's because you're always talking about your goddamn binky.
Sure.
That's why I need it.
To go night-night.
So.
Should we make this a Facebook poll? Yeah. Tuppies, no tuppies? Mm-night. Should we make this a Facebook poll?
Yeah.
Tuppies, no tuppies?
Mm-hmm.
Okay, so like Jordan and Jessica on Facebook or else you won't be able to participate in this Facebook poll.
Yeah.
We'll be back in just a second on Jordan and Jessica. La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la Going into a Bullseye interview, I know that it's somebody who does amazing work.
I don't know what's going to happen.
Oh, that's interesting.
I never thought about that.
Is that possible?
That's possible.
Yeah.
Should I check with your therapist?
No, but I will be.
Who are you, dude?
You all over the place.
I got a lot of respect for you, man.
That's dope.
Bullseye.
Creators you know.
Creators you need to know.
Find it at MaximumFun.org or wherever you get podcasts.
It's Jordan Jesse Goh. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart.
Jordan Morris, boy detective.
Jackson Public, president of the Children's Olympics.
Congratulations.
Oh, boy.
Congratulations.
Good nickname.
Last time we spoke.
Founder.
President of the Children's Olympics. Last time we spoke, you were still vice president.
Which is weird i mean
you had initially you had chosen mitt romney to run the children's olympics based on his
i stepped aside i he had it i stepped aside like kind of a steve jobs well he had saved
the salt lake city olympics so it made a lot of sense the park city olympics
one of those olympics is the one that mitt romney saved goodwill games i don't know now what do you
say to the critics who say that the Children's Olympics
has too many dangerous events?
I, you know,
I don't mean to make this a public policy show. I'd love to see them
run through the old children's abattoir.
Yeah. It's very,
it's very safe. First of all,
they have to
have a parent or guardian with
them through the whole event. That's good. That's something you don't hear.
When you say with them through the whole event, do they have to participate in the event with
them or do they just have to be on the sidelines?
No, no.
They have to be holding their hand.
Got it.
The whole time.
It's part of the danger.
It's like a three-legged race except only the kids' efforts count and the third leg
is a tight grip on a child's wrist.
Is part of the danger that you're asking children to do two-handed activities with the use of only one hand?
I mean, I'm thinking particularly of swimming.
Yeah.
And that the swimming races are probably—
It's more about legs.
Right.
No, you're right.
In swimming, I think.
I mean, you can shot put without—
You could give them kickboards. You know what? I've – you could give them kickboards.
I've chosen not to give them kickboards.
Here's what I think.
I think people are giving Jackson and the Children Olympics too much shit.
Yeah.
Because apparently kids these days need to be in safe spaces all the time.
And obviously the parent or guardian's grip changes depending on the event.
Right.
Like, for archery, they stand behind them and just kind of gently cup the hips.
Right.
Right.
Got to cup the hips.
For some of them, it's more of a soul brother shake.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I think it's fine.
I say.
Sometimes it's just hanging on by the scruff of the neck.
Yeah.
What doesn't kill us makes us stronger.
Anyway, with that said, George Jesse Go this week is supported in part by Talkspace, the online therapy company.
Talkspace makes it easy to connect with a licensed therapist handpicked just you, for as little as $32 a week.
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It's not JJ Go.
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No shame in that.
No, not a bit.
There are actual real therapists on the other side of computers there to help you at Talkspace.
It's easier, more convenient than going out to a therapist's office and sitting in one of those big, dumb Ottomans.
Wait, not Ottomans.
Chase lounges.
Oh, I hate those Chase lounges.
One of those things.
Hey, Davenport.
Are you tired of therapists demanding you sit in their Davenports?
Tired of therapists demanding you sit in their Davenports?
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And this week by our friends at Casper Mattresses.
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These aren't no fucking Davenports, I can tell you that much. Oh, no Divans here.
These are nice
mattresses. Jesse, you sleep on
one yourself, is that right? It's great,
yeah, I really like it.
You can try a risk-free trial.
I bought a Casper pillow,
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Hold on. Jordan, I've got a question.
I've only got $50 less
than what a Casper mattress
costs, and I can't afford a Casper mattress.
So you're saying you're $50 short of this Casper.
Well, it's a very affordable price, but I'm $50 short.
Good news.
Yeah?
If you promise not to tell anybody.
Okay, well?
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All right.
If you go to casper.com slash JJGO, you use promo code JJGO, you check out, $50 off.
Do terms and conditions apply?
Yeah, they do, Jesse.
Thank God.
I know.
Just go to Casper.com slash JJGO.
$50 off.
Yeah, use that code JJGO at checkout.
Casper mattresses.
They're mattresses from a too small box.
We'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jesse, go. La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la Tally Hall in Chicago on February 11th with media sponsorship from WBEZ 91.5.
Advanced tickets are sold out, but we'll have a limited number of tickets for sale at the door.
So come on out for a day jam-packed with five great MaxFun podcasts, four local shows, and a comic showcase.
For more information, please visit MaximumFun.org slash VeryVeryFunDay.
slash very, very fun day.
It's Jordan, Jesse, go.
I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart.
Jordan Morris, boy detective.
I was going to say boy detective.
Jackson Public, master of puppets.
Wait a minute.
Can we do this again?
I'm Jordan Morris. Ride the lightning.
Do you all want to be early Metallica albums?
I'm Jesse Thorne from that video when Lars Ulrich was mad at us.
What?
Because we were stealing his albums, and so he came to our house and stole all our stuff.
That's true.
Was that supposed to be a comedy sketch?
I don't really remember this.
I mean, I remember that Lars Ulrich led the anti-Napster movement.
He made a video where he came to your house and stole all your stuff, and he said, that's what you're doing to me.
But he still had stuff.
Yeah.
Somebody told me that-
That argument doesn't hold up.
At his house, he has a bowl with a cake, like a cake plate with a, you know the kind of thing I'm talking about,
like two-piece cake plate with a pedestal and a bowl on top with a handle?
Yeah, sure.
Yeah.
But it's full of cocaine.
What?
Yeah.
Well, we should steal that.
That'd be great.
That's worth way more than our stuff.
We'll do the blow.
I'll leave it in the sink at work.
Somebody will clean it off.
Got it.
Fuck, man.
Let's go ahead and copyright that idea.
All right.
Copyright, copyright, copyright.
A bunch of guys.
I'm milling this to myself.
Down on their luck buds get together to steal Lars Ulrich's cocaine plate.
We'll call it Ocean's Eleven.
Yeah.
When something momentous happens to you Like you finally pull off that heist
Give us a call 206-9844-FUN
Is the telephone number
That's 206-9844-FUN
If that number ever changed we would be so fucked
I can never remember a new number
I don't think it will
You don't think so?
Nah you'll be fine
You'll just have to read it
Off your phone a few times
Put up a little whiteboard or something in here.
I don't want to put up a whiteboard in here.
I don't think there's enough depth in the walls.
Well, just stick it on with gum.
Come on, man.
Do I got to take all this?
Oh, and you'll get just sonic reflections off of it.
It's horrible.
Whiteboards are awful.
They're unerasable.
And you fuse it with color.
Sure.
So if you leave the pen off the
cap, then your
ink's going to dry.
We got a whiteboard
at work with really
ambitious plans for it
about keeping
really detailed notes of
what we're going to do for the coming weeks.
And immediately after the whiteboard
went up, someone drew a picture of Sonic the Hedgehog smoking a joint.
And someone left it up there for so long it won't come off.
So that fucking whiteboard got put up and immediately was filled with Sonic the Hedgehog smoking a joint.
And now it's useless.
What color ink?
Huh?
What color ink?
It's multicolored.
It's mostly green. But there's also some blue and red in there.
And now that is just a picture of Sonic the Hedgehog smoking a joint that is an art piece.
I didn't even know he was 420 friendly.
Oh, yeah.
No drama.
Oh, that is dope.
Get it?
Yeah, I do.
Let's hear a call.
Hey, JJ, go.
Calling with a moment of shame.
It's early in the morning.
I'm getting dressed in the kitchen, and I just caused the dick in the zipper of the
pants.
Ow.
Didn't think that really happened to people.
And I couldn't even shout an X because my girlfriend was still asleep.
Anyway, now I'm late for the bus.
I have to go.
Bye.
You guys got distracted trying to figure out what kind of accent that is, right?
No, I mean, I was just busy sympathizing for his dick.
Really?
Yeah.
I was thinking, like, maybe, like, Denmark?
Hard to say.
I mean, whoever he is.
Could have been Welsh.
Whoever he is, he's...
Have you ever got your dick in a zipper?
Yeah.
That shit is horrible.
It's the worst fucking thing ever.
It's the worst.
My heart goes out to you.
Possibly Denmark man.
I think he's a Welshman.
He might be a Welshman.
I'm pretty sure that was Catherine Zeta-Jones.
Or it could have been a South African.
Could have been a South African.
Which is kind of Dutch-based, is it?
I think it is.
Yeah, I think those were originally Dutch.
Diplomatic immunity.
Yeah, that guy.
How big is...
I'm sorry?
No?
No.
Really?
Talk about Lethal Weapon 2.
This is the layer of that I'm not...
Everyone else is tasting, is getting notes.
I'm like chocolate cake.
It's great. Hung, hung, hung, hung, hung. They're like, oh, get all of getting notes. I'm like chocolate cake. It's great.
Hung, hung, hung, hung, hung.
They're like, oh, get all of these notes.
I feel like Lethal Weapon 2 is like the first time anybody-
Heard of diplomatic immunity?
Well, that and like heard a South African accent in real life.
Unless you like listen to a lot of interviews with Dave Matthews.
Jordan, can you copyright this?
We're concerned about Nelson Mandela at all.
Can you copyright this for me
with the union?
It's a kitten inside one of those
diplomatic pouches. That's cute.
You open it up and he goes,
diplomatic immunity.
You got it. Capitalized mu.
Pussy pouch.
Or a pussy pouch. Should we call it
diplomatic immunity or a pussy pouch?
How big do you think the average – I have a question.
Yeah.
How big do you think the average Dutch crank is?
The average Dutch crank.
What do you think?
Are they a well-endowed people?
I'll tell you this.
Is this an okay thing to talk about?
Yeah.
Where are we?
I bet they don't.
That affects – that changes everything about this dude's story.
He didn't give enough information.
Yeah.
When I came home from-
We are going to have to just Sherlock this together.
We're going to have to see some pictures of that crank.
When I came home from Denmark, the home of Danes, not the Dutch.
Excuse me.
I believed those gentlemen to be powerful of crank, would say i found them intimidating how excessively
white they are yeah they are intimidatingly healthy um the husky ones in my experience
do viking shit recreationally um And all the
svelter ones
are some kind of sea captain.
Which equals massive crank.
Well, unless it's syphilitic.
Yeah.
Gotta watch out for that.
Can't just mess around once you get into that port.
Those port prostitutes will give you that sea clap.
Yeah, absolutely.
Nasty sea clap.
Nasty.
It's nasty.
And if your teeth are falling out, that's not the clap, my friend.
That's scurvy.
You got to suck on a lime.
Oh, boy.
Yeah.
Danes don't know that.
That's why they call the English the limeys.
Suck on limes.
They're crazy sucking on the limes.
But this is a fun trip through European prejudices.
Don't get me started on Spaniards.
Oh, boy.
Oh, Spaniards.
I'm going to eat a little bit of octopus at four.
Just a little.
A little bit of octopus.
I'm going to put fruit in my wine.
Yeah.
Let's take our next call.
Hi, Jordan, Jesse, and likely wonderful guest.
I'm calling with a momentous occasion.
My husband accidentally threw out $1,000 on Saturday.
It's Tuesday.
I just went dumpster diving, and I fucking found it.
Oh, shit.
Wow.
Fucking A.
Check it out.
Dude, check her out out there punching those blimps.
Yeah.
Oh, my God.
She would have had to have resorted to stealing from Lars Ulrich.
Dude, this chick is the fucking best.
Yeah.
Wonder what it was in.
A dumpster, probably.
But like what kind of, like it's not just loose builds.
Like was it in a paper bag?
Probably in an envelope from the bank.
Yeah, sure.
Underoos?
More crap.
Yeah.
Maybe her husband is a very successful stripper.
Yeah, could be.
Was it a cowboy thong?
Or is it a very successful stripper who hates laundry?
Or maybe it was inside of a mattress and they threw it out once they got their new Casper mattress.
Casper.com slash JJ Go.
Casper, the mattress with the undersized box.
Yeah, well, good for you guys.
Now you got $2,000.
Hold on.
What?
Casper, the mattress with the tight little box.
I don't know if they want that to be their slogan, but now it is.
Let me at them cakes.
I don't know if they want that to be their slogan, but now it is.
Let me at them cakes.
Hey, companies, advertise with us and we'll make you up a new bad slogan.
That's cool.
What can you spend $2,000 on?
Wait, where are you getting $2,000 from?
Didn't she say $2,000? $1,000?
She said $1,000.
$1,000.
Oh, I doubled it because that's just the kind of guy I am.
Yeah, I doubled the recipe.
For a minute I thought you misunderstood the story and she found an unrelated $1,000.
She's like, I was subsidizing.
I found $1,000 and then somebody else threw out $1,000.
That would be great.
Yeah.
That's cool.
I wouldn't even know where to look.
Or maybe she didn't make the connection.
She just thinks it's a remarkable coincidence.
I mean, she found another $1,000.
If your dumpster diving, you're going to start out behind Noah's Bagels, right?
That'd be the first place to look. Oh, yeah.
At least if you don't find your money, you get
some nice day olds.
What do you like in everything? I like
with those peppercorns. Oh, peppercorns?
Peppercorn bagel. I haven't even tasted that.
Oh, yeah. That's a Noah's treat.
How about you, buddy? What's your top bagel?
Not a big bagel guy, so
I usually get a –
I'm sorry.
I didn't know you were an anti-Semite.
I make them part of an egg sandwich, so that's –
Oh, that's nice.
And so I go with some kind of multigrain thing.
If I'm going to eat crappy bread, the densest –
Multigrain.
Yeah, something that makes me feel vaguely healthy.
Although I have had like a cheesy jalapeno one.
What are you, healthy?
That was pretty great.
No.
Why are you eating this terrible bread?
Get yourself a nice egg bagel.
How about a salt bagel?
That's good.
Onion bagel?
That's a nice bagel.
Salt bagel's just a pretzel.
No, a pretzel's a pretzel, dude.
I fucks with pretzels.
You know this artisanal pretzel thing? Yes. Let's get some of those by my house, dude. I fucks with pretzels. You know this artisanal
pretzel thing? Yes.
Let's get some of those by my house, folks.
Okay? That's the thing
from gentrification that I want.
You want a nice pretzel with various dips?
I want a fucking fancy
ass pretzel.
Pretzels are so fucking
good. Are you
being gentrified right now?
Yeah, my shit's getting gentrified.
And it's just like, oh, we got a bowling alley that you drink at.
I don't give a shit.
You know, I don't care about a bowling alley you drink at.
We got the offices of Stone's Throw Records.
That's fine, I guess.
You know where it probably has a fucking pretzel?
What?
A bowling alley you drink at.
I'd be down to go there. That's the number one thing I'm sure that they? What? A bowling alley you drink at.
I'd be down to go there.
That's the number one thing I'm sure that they have at a bowling alley you can drink at.
You ever go to a farmer's market and you know they got like a good bread guy there?
Mm-hmm.
Give me one of those pretzels.
Get them.
You're walking around, you're checking out the citrus?
Just munching on that pretz.
You know what I like when you go to a farmer's market?
Go to that guy. That's a nice pretz. Find that little stall like when you go to a farmer's market? Go to that guy.
That's a nice pretz.
Find that little stall.
Maybe it's just out of a guy's pickup truck.
Sure.
You get that Target popcorn.
You get that fucking bag of popcorn
that he got from Target
and jacked up the price.
You know what I really love?
I don't know if you've ever done this, Jack.
Jack?
Jack Jack.
Jacks.
Tuppy.
Jackson Tuppy. Jackson Tuffy.
Big Tup.
What do you think?
Let's talk Big Tup.
1970s professional wrestler.
Big Tup.
You know what's dope?
The human Tupperware.
My patent didn't move.
Human Tupperware.
I killed your bitch in a tight littlein' old time tight little pox.
This could be made of plastic.
When I burp, that means I'm fresh.
Guys.
Oh, boy.
Is Patrick Warburton here?
Guys.
I'm a wrestler, too, now.
Yeah.
What? Yeah. Yeah yeah i like wrestling he's back he's had a little water and he's ready to go what i was gonna say is i like
to get the icy at the farmer's market yeah it's a little late now, but I thought I'd circle back.
There are certain sounds I can't make.
How do you sell Icy's at a...
I guess they have a freezer.
You get them at...
Just answer my own question.
They're just sitting out in the sun next to the kale.
That's not going to work.
Can I give you two words?
Extension cord.
You're all set.
Mini generator.
Get one of those big orange motherfuckers.
You know what I'm talking about?
Don't use an indoor cord.
It's not grounded.
Okay, it's not safe.
Safety first.
Gotta keep your shit.
Icy second.
That's what I always say.
Don't die for an icy.
What a shameful death.
What do you got, blue with an icy?
I'm going red.
No, I'm red all the way.
Wild cherry.
I like that light, frothy texture.
I like that built-in carbonation.
Oh, yeah, give me that icy.
Icy in a pretz?
I'm happy.
Icy in a pretz.
Icy in a pretz.
Hit me up, baby.
1-800-ICY-PRETZ.
What happens when someone calls that number?
What the fuck happens when the pretz is all pink?
Dumb, icy mouth.
Your icy teeth.
When I see a man with pink teeth, I know I've found a friend.
I know some...
Are you a friend of Icey's?
You'll say.
We'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jesse, go.
It's Jordan, Jesse, go.
I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart.
Jordan Morris, boy detective.
Jackson Public, flibberty gibbet, will-o'-the-wisp.
A clown.
See, this is an example.
This probably means something.
You should know this one.
I heard you going off about the Music Man.
Yeah.
Which is so fucking good, by the way.
Is that a thing from the Music Man?
It's from Sound of Music.
I've never seen Sound of Music.
How do you solve a problem like Maria?
I thought the answer was Edelweiss.
To the question, how do you solve a problem like Maria?
Yeah.
No.
Just a quick shot of Edelweiss.
She'll go down.
She'll be asleep for eight to ten hours.
I've never seen the Sound of Music.
Is that something I should do?
I've never seen it either.
Even in my days as a high school kid who liked musical theater, I did not see The Sound of Music.
Wow.
You want to come up to the cabin and watch The Sound of Music with me?
Nope.
Maybe touch the X?
No.
Ding dong, ding dong, ding dong.
Is that the sound it would make?
Yeah.
Oh, I definitely don't want to do it now.
I hate that sound.
Well, fair enough.
Yeah.
You know, what can you do?
Yeah, but I was watching some videos today of, like, shitty musical performances.
And there are so many of Rent.
These are amateur productions?
How many shitty Rent productions are there, Jordan?
525,600 shitties how do you ruin ruin a song got it you sing it but you're bad you put it
up on the youtube uh boy i fucking know every song from rent i just do and i i hate that about myself i've never so bad any rent or rent related
thing don't yeah i i never saw rent i went to arts high school at the same time i somehow
i i managed to avoid it entirely yeah that's i i think my yeah another big dodge i made for some
weird reason i've never seen the vagina monologues i've never seen the vagina monologues either i
i don't know why.
I think I've seen
the Phantom of the Opera
three times.
Okay.
It just ran forever
and when you go
to arts high school
you get unwanted
tickets to things.
And so like every year
there would be
a student performance
or whatever
of the Phantom of the Opera
in downtown San Francisco.
I'm remembering those
like coupon things
that were always on
the like front desk of the school too. Yeah, yeah. And. I'm remembering those coupon things that were always on the front desk.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
And like, you know, a hundred kids from the school would get sent to the Phantom of the Opera,
and I went to the Phantom of the Opera.
I did not like it the first time.
I can't begin to tell you how I felt about it the third time.
Well, speaking of things you didn't like the first time,
certainly won't like the third time.
That's the end of another Jordan Jesse Go podcast.
Is it?
Jackson Public, our good friend, the co-creator of The Venture Brothers.
Can I recommend an episode of The Venture Brothers?
Yeah, please do.
If you're browsing around on Amazon or iTunes and you're buying one, there's a Christmas episode where they get attacked by the Krampus.
Really?
You're going to recommend that?
All right.
You don't like that one?
It's like its first season.
Yeah.
And it's like an 11-minute kind of just mini special.
It's a weird one to go to.
I've never heard anybody be like, I love that one.
Although the Krampus stuck with people.
The Krampus is so funny.
I think we repopularized the Krampus.
Yeah.
I think you guys were – I mean, listen. As someone who loves the Krampus and talking about the Krampus,
I realize that the Krampus is in danger of being a little fucked out.
But the fucking Krampus on the Venture Brothers is so funny,
and he has a bundle of sticks that he swats you so fast with them,
and he has a big tongue, and it's really funny.
I really want to say...
Look, we're going to have a lot of fun with our friend Jackson Public over here and his show, The Venture Brothers.
But the reason that we can have a lot of fun with Jackson Public and his show, The Venture Brothers, is it is legitimately just a super wonderful, funny show with a shocking amount of actual emotional content.
Almost a weird amount of actual emotional content.
Yeah, lately.
Yeah, we've been going in that direction.
We've grown up making it
because we've made six seasons
in the time that your children
have grown up and gone to college.
And sincerely,
as much as I joke about
how I feel like other people
are getting these other layers of the show
that I'm missing out on,
I want to emphasize that as a guy
who does not know about any of the things,
particularly,
and my wife who literally knows nothing about any of the things, it functions wonderfully
just as a regular hilarious character-driven show.
Thank God.
Whether or not you get the complex allusions to some nerd shit that I don't know about.
Dana Snyder, also very funny on The Venture Brothers. He's't know about. Dana Snyder, also very funny
on the Venture Brothers.
He's that monk guy.
Dana Snyder,
one of our all-time faves.
Plays the alchemist, yeah.
I just saw him
up at the SF Sketch Fest.
Dana Snyder,
he's a treasure.
Who plays the guy?
We haven't written
for him in a while.
Who plays the blade guy
who kills Blackulas?
Oh, Charles Purnell.
Boy.
He's great.
I sure like that guy who's obsessed with killing black ULAs.
And he is also the handsomest member of our cast.
Yeah.
He was on the last ship.
Oh.
I think he was the captain of the last ship or something.
I can hear it.
I can hear it in the voice.
Yeah.
Anyway, Kylo's killing black ULAs.
Jackson Public, our esteemed guest on this week's program, our producer, Brian Sonny D. Fernandez, sometimes known as Beef.
You can join us on Twitter with the hashtag.
Jayco.
Is that Brian's new nickname, Big Tup?
Big Tup.
Lil Tup.
Lil Tup.
Lil Tup out at the board.
What's happening, Lil Tuppy?
You can join us on Facebook by liking Jordan Jesse Goh and voting in this Tuppy debate.
Jordan, I think you're going to win this thing in a landslide.
Who knows?
I think you've already won me over.
Some people are grossed out.
I mean, I think it has the potential to give people a very visceral reaction.
Sort of like cilantro?
I think some people are disgusting.
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah.
I don't know.
For some people, Tuppy tastes like soap.
Exactly.
It's a genetic thing.
They just can never enjoy it.
So, yeah, I'm anxious to see what the people say, and I defer to their will.
Hashtag it, JJ.
Go on Twitter.
Join us on Facebook, MaximumFun.Reddit.com.
I want to give a shout-out to this guy, Patrick.
He's been writing notes about this program and posting them as a text file on Google Docs.
And he always links those in the Maximum Fun Reddit.
If you want to go on a little journey back through time and remember what we talked about and think, what is this disgusting fever dream?
What is this nightmare that I'm reading in text form?
But anyway, we're grateful to him for doing that.
If you want to check those out,
he always posts those in the maximum fun red and maximum fun.
Reddit.com.
Um,
anyway,
yeah,
that's it.
Thanks for listening.
We'll talk to you next time.
I'm Jordan.
Jessica.
Maximum fun.
Dot org comedy and culture artist owned listener supported.