Jordan, Jesse, GO! - Ep. 491: U Up A Hill with Linda Holmes and Danielle Radford
Episode Date: July 31, 2017Writer Linda Holmes and comedian Danielle Radford join Jordan while Jesse’s on vacation for a discussion of Linda’s time at the Television Critics Association press tour, Danielle’s story about ...getting hit by a bus and what Jordan is going to do with his time now that the show Jordan works on is ending. Action Items: • Break your NDA!  Call us at 206-984-4FUN and spill those legally bound secrets! • Get your "it me, i'm that" shirts!  ENDING Monday 7/31: bit.ly/itmeimthat • Get tickets for The Max Fun Beer Blast at Angel City Brewery in Downtown LA on August 12th!
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Give a little time for the child within you. Don't be afraid to be young and free.
Undo the locks and throw away the keys and take off your shoes and socks and run you.
It's Jordan Jesse Goh. I'm Jordan Morris, Boy Detective.
Jesse Thorne on vacation, a well-deserved vacation.
So I'm here holding it down this week.
Yeah, and I thought it might be just a fun chance to just kind of show you, the listener, kind of some stuff I work on outside the podcast.
I mean, you know, I have other interests and I have other passions.
And I think that one of them is bringing back slam poetry.
And I've just been doing some stuff at some open mics and, you know, some coffee shops around town.
And it's a little more serious. It's
a little politically motivated. I mean, you know, Lord knows there's a lot going on in the news
right now. And, you know, this is just my way of like processing it and reacting to it in a way
that I think kind of, you know, kind of sums up the rhythm of my neighborhood where I'm from.
And that's kind of the beat that I've set it to.
Yeah, I think this is going to be
probably a two or three hour show
and I'm just going to
kick it off now.
Trump. He's the POTUS.
But he don't care about us.
I'm fucking around. I'm not going to do that.
I've got two
greats. Thank you. I'm fucking around. I'm not going to do that. I've got two greats. Thank
you. I have two. Jessie's not here, but I have two terrific fan favorite Jordan, Jessie
Go regulars here with me. First off, a writer and the host of one of my favorite podcasts,
Pop Culture Happy Hour, visiting us all the way from our nation's capital, Linda Holmes.
Hi, Jordan.
Hi, Linda.
You're here for TCA.
That's right.
Here for TCA, which is how I normally get on Jordan, Jessica.
Yeah, yeah.
The Television Critics Association.
That's right.
That's press tour.
So they're bringing in all the new shows, marching Rob Lowe in front of everybody to
tell everybody that he believes in ghosts.
Oh, boy.
I actually missed that session, which is
really tragic. Yeah, and it's so nice
of you to break away from that to come
all the way here and do this show.
That's right. But you tell your
bosses this is just on Starz,
like this is a Starz show, and they're like, yeah,
that's probably right. Right, totally.
There's so many channels now, you can just say
Jordan Jesse Goh is a channel. Yeah.
And they're going to be like, what channel is it on?
And I'll say 893.
They don't know.
Oh, 893.
Oh, 893.
Cool.
Yeah, they're doing some really interesting, precise stuff right now.
They're getting into scripted drama.
Isn't everybody?
Isn't it short?
Yeah.
And in chair number two, fan favorite, Jordan andessigou guest, stand-up comic, pop culture commentator, one of the co-hosts of the Tights and Fights podcast, and one of the performers at the upcoming Max Fun Beer Blast, August 12th at Angel City Brewery here in LA, Danielle Radford.
Hi, Danielle.
Oh, hello.
I could talk about Rob Lowe and ghosts all day.
Oh, my gosh.
So, okay. We've already – it seems like we've got a topic here.
A lot to cover on this week's show. But let's talk about Rob Lowe and whether or not he believes in ghosts.
So here's the thing. So I like I said, I missed the session.
So what I'm going to tell you is what I picked up from my friends who I follow on Twitter.
Okay.
Who were watching the session.
So he has, from what I-
He has a new show.
Okay.
Where he and his sons travel the country looking for ghosts, I think.
Okay.
Now, would they also look for a Bigfoot or a Loch Ness Monster, or is it exclusively ghosts?
That's a good question.
I don't know the answer to that.
Sorry, because we almost covered this on Screen
Junkies because I was so excited about it.
When I was working for Screen Junkies,
he claims, so there is a
if you go to certain parts of the country,
they have a different name for
a Bigfoot.
It's like a wood ape. Oh, a skunk
ape? Or something like that, like a wood ape.
And so he claims to have gotten into an altercation with a wood ape. Oh, a skunk ape? Or something like that, like a wood ape. I've heard, yeah. And so he claims to have gotten into an altercation.
Oh, boy.
With a wood ape.
Yeah.
And if you call it a Bigfoot or a Sasquatch, the locals laugh at you and they're like,
ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, you know nothing.
Oh, yeah.
But it is a wood ape and they do believe in it wholeheartedly.
And he claims to have gotten into a fight with Bigfoot.
A Roblo.
Did he win the fight?
How does he say it went?
He won't tell anyone.
Did he kill the Bigfoot?
Because I'm assuming it's the last four episodes of the show.
It's going to be him stalking Bigfoot.
It sounds a lot like what happened was that Rob was in an area where people thought wood apes exist.
And then he was staying somewhere.
And then someone was staying somewhere.
And then someone was stomping.
And he was like, oh, no, Bigfoot, go eat me.
And then he hid.
And then that's what we're going to see.
It's going to be very Blair Witch, very A Whole Lotta Nothing Happening.
But they're using the carrot of Rob Lowe fights Bigfoot in order to get us to watch the show. Shit, and that's a fucking carrot.
Oh, I'm going to watch it.
I mean, yes, if you are looking to make me follow a carrot, Rob Lowe fights Bigfoot,
there is no taste to your root.
Right.
And what I read on Twitter was also that during this session, he revealed to the assembled
critics that Charlie Sheen thinks the moon is hollow, I think.
What?
But hold on.
Okay.
Oh, my God.
There's so much to unpack.
Is he trotting that out?
Like, here's something crazy Charlie Sheen believes.
That is a good question.
Or is he saying that here's something else me and my celebrity friends will investigate in season two?
The thing that is sad about it is that I had to be doing the kind of work that is less fun than that.
So like I said, I wasn't there.
It's all third hand coming from me.
So you're just at like frontline panels.
You're at CBS This Morning panels talking to Charlie Rose.
That's right.
I'm only at the panels that are – I never get to do the really newsworthy – like you say, the really
newsworthy.
They got to get you on that cryptozoology beat.
Yeah.
They really do.
They really do.
It's been quite a thing.
So something that I always like hearing from you when you visit with us during these press
tours is what the Hallmark Channel is up to.
Yes.
They're the ones who do Christmas in June, right?
Right.
Yes.
And, for example, I met a very nice woman at the Hallmark Party last night.
As we taped this, it was last night, who told me that she wrote the screenplay for the one coming up this Christmas
where Lacey Chabert is involved in competitive gingerbread house making.
Holy shit.
I want to see that movie, though.
Right? I want to see that.
Holy shit.
As if we couldn't beat Dean Cain Adopts a Christmas Puppy.
Look, I told her.
I was like, I will watch it.
I watched the ice sculpture one.
I watched the one that Mariah Carey directed.
Mariah Carey directed?
Yes, directed and appeared in.
God, she does it all.
She's a multi-hyphenate.
Yes.
She appeared in one where she was like the mean girl from high school.
So the woman went back to her high school and her high school foe, who was Mariah Carey.
Wow.
So was she also, while she directed it, was she on a treadmill in heels?
She was not, but she was.
And everything on all the sets was white, just white.
Everything is happening, draped in white linen.
The other thing is she was like lit and shot differently in a way that everybody was like, what is the, it was like she had her own cinematography.
Oh, that's funny. It's just like if one character just had an Instagram filter on themselves.
It was very interesting. own cinematography. Oh, that's funny. It's just like if one character just had an Instagram filter on themselves.
It was very interesting.
Which is amazing because they're used to, if you ever, I don't know if you ever watched The Adventures of Superman, the Lois and Clark.
Ah, sure.
With Dean Cain?
The TV show that introduced us to Dean Cain.
Oh, I watched every episode of that.
Because it's the best show in the whole world.
Well, I used to have an autographed photo that said, Super Wishes, Dean Cain.
And I do like-
Cain knows how to sign a photo.
He knows how to sign a photo. If he knows nothing else, that man knows how to sign a photo. He knows how to sign a photo.
If he knows nothing else, that man knows how to sign a photo.
So you remember that photo.
So they had on that show, if you ever go back and you look, Lois has just like a beam of light hitting her directly in the eyes the entire.
That's the Divine Miss Terry Hatcher, if I remember correctly.
The Divine Miss Terry Hatcher, who is now on Supergirl, which is a show that does very cute casting.
That sounds cute.
So everyone who's ever been involved in a Superman that is not famous enough to say no always comes back and does things.
All the non-Jean Hackmans.
So they had Kallista Flockhart the first season.
And on that season...
Now, was she involved in a Superman?
No, this is a separate category.
She wasn't.
This is a separate category.
This is going back to the Instagram filter
because they put such Photoshop on her.
Oh, boy.
Then you could see it in scenes
where it was differently lit
or it was outside of her office.
You're like, she's a businesswoman.
Why is she wearing a flower crown all the time?
Why does she have puppy ears?
I mean, it's cute.
She could be a Kryptonian.
Maybe she's from...
We appreciate it, but man.
Yeah.
Yeah, so that was another one where...
And then she left because she didn't want to move to Vancouver.
And I'm like, are you sure it's not because it got way too expensive for them to get rid of your age?
Yeah. Which is an unfair thing.
But it is what they did.
And those moments when they wouldn't be able to put the Photoshop filter on her, I was like, she looks like a woman of her age.
Like, it's nice. And I also really appreciate you coming and visiting us while you're here, Linda, because I always feel like when you take a break from these things, and it seems like it's kind of all day.
You wake up. You go to this thing, you go to that thing.
Whenever you come to visit us, you are missing out on free shrimp.
That is true.
And I couldn't appreciate it more because I sure as fuck wouldn't be doing this podcast
if I could be eating free shrimp somewhere.
I had some free shrimp at the Hallmark party.
You know what else happened at the Hallmark party?
This is the amazing part is they took us there.
They take you there from the hotel in little shuttles.
And then they drop you off in front of the big.
Hallmark always has their party at like a big mansion or something like that.
Cool.
They're not the ones who took us to the Playboy Mansion one time.
That was somebody else.
Oh, boy.
Anyway.
But Hallmark took us to this big place.
And you get out of the shuttle.
And I stepped wrong.
And I kind of tweaked my knee getting out of the shuttle.
Which I think is the first probably Hallmark Channel injury of all time.
I'm going to say I'm the first person put on the DL with like a Hallmark Channel injury.
Yeah, yeah.
It's just to say DL Hallmark Channel.
But yeah, big mansions.
But the Playboy Mansion was one of my first press tours.
Who was springing for the Playboy Mansion? I think it was the Playboy Mansion was one of my first press tours. Who was springing for the Playboy Mansion?
I think it was the Playboy Channel.
And they were doing –
Oh, that's right.
They had a new – it was like – I don't remember exactly how they branded it.
But it was that they were inventing – they were like – not inventing.
They were developing new stuff that was supposed to be like content for couples.
And the idea was to do it for women. I think the idea was it was supposed to be like content for couples. And the idea was for women.
I think the idea was it was supposed to appeal to women.
So they took all the TV critics to the Playboy Mansion.
And showed them softcore porn?
No, it was just at the mansion.
So like we went in the grotto and stuff.
Now was this when the grotto was good or after the reports of the grotto being very sketchy and you might get a disease?
I am not sure the grotto was ever good.
I think from probably starting at around 1978, you probably shouldn't go there.
I feel like there was a time when there was at least a dedicated grotto man who made sure that the grotto, he checked the pH levels.
Just like basic things you have to do if you are a person who owns a grotto.
Is a part of James Caan floating in this?
Do I need to fish out part of James Caan with a pool skimmer?
It definitely, like, it smelled like a pool.
It was like a damp, humid gym.
Yum, yum.
It has mats on the floor, like, next to the pools, which they tell you, which the nice playmate who takes you on the tour tells you the mats are on the ground in case anyone wants to take a nap.
Oh, sure.
But they're like wrestling mats in a gym.
In case anyone wants to fuck or OD on heroin, here's a nice mat so when they're convulsing, they don't hit their head or bite their tongue off.
Can you please die on this mat so that we can easily roll you up?
Oh, yeah.
And just take you to the submit mixer.
And that is what happened to James Caan.
There's a new James Caan.
I'm sorry.
I didn't know if you knew.
Yeah, but they're like wrestling mats.
It's like not –
Yeah.
It doesn't make you feel like it would be a great place to take a nap.
You know what I mean?
Sure, sure, sure.
Even euphemistically applying taking a nap.
Right, yes.
And none of those activities would be fun on a wrestling mat, I don't think.
But I think you're at the grotto.
You're caught up in the moment.
You're listening to Pauly Shore's tales of what the set of Son-in-Law was like.
You've had a couple of cocktails.
I bet the – Yeah, Scott Baio was there probably You've had a couple of cocktails. I bet the, you know.
Yeah, Scott Baio was there, probably.
Baio's there.
We got to see the zoo.
Oh, that's right, because they have, like, peacocks.
They have.
And they have, like, monkeys, and they have a little zoo.
Yeah.
They have a zoo.
Do they have a person who, is there someone who takes?
Okay.
I assume so.
That's the part that worries me the most, I think, now.
Because the grotto's all fun and games and James Caan's death.
But you worry about the monkeys.
I worry about.
You worry about the monkeys.
Yeah.
I mean, and I think, you know, we definitely always hear periodically about what dire financial
straits Playboy is in.
You know, they're taking away the nudity.
They're putting the nudity back.
What are, you know, how do we.
Staples, whatever.
Yes, exactly.
What do we do with this
brand that has is becoming more irrelevant by the day um yeah i've i i guess i'm afraid if you went
now that zoo would just be full of like stray chihuahuas who they like who they like ushered
into the cages like we've sold all the monkeys found some just found some. Yeah. It's squirrels. Yeah. Like after his favorite playmates leave, they're just like, well, she left this stuffed animal
of a bear.
I guess that's our bear now.
Yeah.
We have Cinnamon's beanie baby collection.
She grew out of it, went into real estate.
No, it's great.
She was studying the whole time she was here.
Everyone was really supportive.
She sold her first house.
It's fantastic.
But what are we going to do with all these beanie babies? Sure, they have not
appreciated in value like we were promised.
And some of them have mold on them from being way
too close to the grotto. That's the weird thing, though,
is the playmate, the woman who gave us
the tour, she was super
nice. She was talking about how
she was, in fact, talking about her life
and everything. It's a weird...
It was a weird experience. It was a very weird experience.
I feel like I would spend my entire time
talking to the playmates
about their life.
They are way more interesting
than any of the famous dudes.
She was a heff.
I just want to talk to you
and be like,
how did you,
so I understand,
like,
what was your journey?
And tell me,
because like,
I just want to like,
because I can,
I know lots of sex workers.
I know your journey
to what it takes
to boobs and stuff. But I want to specifically know, know lots of sex workers. I know your journey to what it takes to boobs and stuff.
But I want to specifically know like how long do you plan on being here?
Is this like a grad – because I think of it as like a graduate program for like ladies that get naked.
Like this is your grad program and then from there you like move on to something.
You own your own club.
And then if you want to be – and then if you want to be like, you know,
I think like graduate students, they kind of like teach
the underclassmen. So then I think you
could be a TA of TNA.
Oh, come on!
That's good. I like it.
You went a long way for that.
Yes, that was a long run.
I liked it. That was a good run.
You guys just take this.
I just ran a half marathon to say that TNA joke.
I should also say to Danielle that we had a session with ESPN talking about their new Ric Flair documentary.
So he was there.
Wait, Ric Flair was there?
Yeah.
Oh, no.
This is the nature boy Ric Flair, right?
This is the nature boy Ric Flair.
Famous 80s wrestler, 90s wrestler?
Yes.
Famous, longer than any of us have been alive wrestler.
Okay.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
And so they talked a lot about that.
And I swear every, there were, the entire session was like 55-year-old male TV critics
leading with, I loved you when I was a kid.
Everybody had to give their wrestling viewing cred to Ric Flair.
Like, it was.
I always preferred you to Brutus the Barber Beefcake.
What?
It's real to me.
One guy starts his story by saying, you know, I love wrestling.
There's a picture of me sitting on gorgeous George's lap at Venice Beach.
Everybody was like, this is quite a story already.
Where are you?
Where's this going?
To tell.
It was very warm and everybody was excited to tell him how much they loved him.
Yeah, he's very entertaining.
He could also use any dollars that you have.
If you have dollars, you should give some of those to Ric Flair.
He could use them.
I'm sure this is something that you know about, but I was fascinated for a while with the Tumblr that collected pictures of sad Virgil.
Yes.
So Virgil, I guess, was a B or C list wrestler back in the day who will just go to any con.
Yeah, Virgil was the million dollar man slave.
African-American man.
Yeah, he was just a black man uh that that beat people up for him
we don't think he ever got paid we don't know exactly what his deal was um and that that is
that is who virgil was and so yes virgil now will go to cons much like many um being a wrestler is
the same as being like anyone who's ever been a villain on Buffy. If things didn't go well for you later, you can always trust the comm circuit to pay your rent for a year.
And HBO, I think, will do a show about what if he still had that job in modern day.
Exactly.
Exactly.
And so Virgil, yeah, he just goes from – and wrestling conventions, I think they're getting bigger now.
And a lot of them are combining with comic book
stuff but a lot of just wrestling conventions are um very sad and so he'll just go and he'll
have signs that are like please pay just money put that here put money here and he'll occasionally
tweet like weird unnecessary things to other black athletes where he'll be like, oh, you're like my sons, and people will be like,
you were literally a white man's slave.
We're not.
Please don't do this to us.
Oh, boy.
The 80s, you guys.
The 80s, it was a different time.
It was a different time.
You know, we didn't.
We were all.
We wouldn't do it now.
Yeah.
So actually, this is a great segue because you were telling me pre-record that you went to Comic Con for the first time.
I did.
The Comic Book Convention.
The Comic Book Convention in San Diego.
Excellent pronunciation.
Thank you.
It was my first time going.
I've been wanting to go since I was like 11.
And someone that I work on one of my many nerd shows was like, get in the car.
We're going.
We'll figure out a plan.
And so I went down there.
I went to the party for screen junkies whom used to employ me and I'm still buds with and I still go on there and do stuff all the time.
But I'm no longer freelancing for them.
And and hung out there.
I ate so many free sliders.
Speaking of free food.
Yeah, the fucking sliders.
If you are an industry person at Comic-Con, it's less shrimp and more sliders and like a little cone of fries or a little cone of tots.
Yeah, and then there'll be like meats and cheeses and fruits.
And we'll be like, get out of here.
Just more little pizzas.
Yeah.
Where's the weird pizza?
Yeah, bring us a weird pizza on a little napkin.
Yeah.
Do you get a lot of shrimp in my world?
I would like more shrimp, honestly.
Like as much as I liked those, if I could have been like, a cocktail shrimp, a slider, a cocktail shrimp, a slider.
Because then you can pretend like it's surf and turf.
Yeah, they tried to serve us one day sushi that was like out in the sun.
Oh.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
Everybody sort of went right by the sushi.
Like, I'm not going to take the sushi or the ceviche that's sitting out in the sun.
Why wouldn't you at least do you the benefit of having a guy there to be like, I'm watching it.
Like, same as like an omelette bar.
Who smells it periodically and just gives
a little thumbs up or a thumbs down.
Yeah, exactly. And when it starts to turn, he gives
a little thumbs down. Someone takes it away.
Just like have a guy in a hat and just lip
service. Just pay him and he can just, he doesn't have
to know anything about Sush, but just pay him
so that I believe that he
won't let me die. I mean, catering has
a lot of good staff. They could have a Soushi smeller.
That's true, absolutely.
A little sniffer.
A smelled sommelier.
Yes.
Oh, don't eat this.
Who that yellow tail is.
Not good.
Go with that indeterminate crap.
He doesn't take it away. he just tells you it's not good
oh i can't actually toss any of that's another guy it's a whole other guy but what i can tell
you is it smells not good you gotta get a different guy to toss it out it's a union thing
exactly exactly yeah there's a there's a fish tosser he works by the hour yeah um so do you
it's your first time at comic-, you've been wanting to go.
Was it everything you dreamed?
It was.
In fact, it was like I messed up because I should have went before I was industry.
Oh, interesting.
So I could have like the real Comic-Con experience.
And luckily for me, I wore my hair differently.
Okay. And I couldn't find my glasses, I wore my hair differently. Okay.
And I couldn't find my glasses, which I found a couple days ago.
They were under my mattress pad.
But I couldn't find my glasses for like a week.
So I went without my glasses.
And so people would come up to my colleagues and like ask if they knew where I was.
And I was just like, hmm.
They didn't recognize you because you –
No, it was great. It was kind great yeah it was kind of neato at comic
con yeah i i uh so we all but you're like those you're like those celebrities who put on a mask
and roam the floor sure not quite like lupita i was not getting all that black girl magic but it
was very close and it was uh um it was one of those things was like i've always made fun of
superman i think we all have but no if you off your glasses, no one knows who the fuck you are.
It's amazing.
You're like, no, I'm just here writing a story for the Daily Planet.
People even said, like, I did a show the day after I was doing a Game of Thrones recap show.
And I had people sending me messages, like fans and stuff, on the Twitter and on the other things that were like, I had no idea that that was you.
And I was like, yeah, I ran around like this at Comic-Con all day.
And they were like, what?
Grades from fame.
So that was, well, and not like, you know, quote unquote fame.
I've got the kind of fame you have if you talk about movies a lot.
Yeah.
And people are like, I like people who talk about movies.
And I'm like, well, do I have a show for you?
Oh, I understand it.
It's also like public radio fame.
Yes.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's that kind of like nod, nod, well, do I have a show for you? Oh, I understand it. It's also like public radio fame. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's that kind of like nod, nod, wink, wink.
Like if I went into Hall H, I would be like, oh, I'm no one.
Yeah.
It's like a micro situation.
It's like you got to be in the right room.
But it's micro, but it's intense, I would imagine.
It is.
Right.
It's not like someone who's like, oh, I watch The Big Bang Theory every Monday and I sure like it.
Bazonger.
Bazonger, yeah.
I love those little fellas.
But I'm sure it is a fewer – a smaller number but that – but they burn with the intensity of a thousand fans I would imagine.
Yes, yes.
Yeah, they're great and they're – yeah, and so it was fantastic.
I got to go.
I got to walk around.
Yeah, and so it was fantastic.
I got to go.
I got to walk around.
Yeah, and look at comic books and meet people.
I'm going to drop a name.
Do it.
Do it.
So Kristen Chenoweth, as she said on the show that I was on.
Ooh, the next day.
Yeah, I did.
You feel that name?
She was like, oh, Comic-Con's a mall, and people pay a lot of money to be here.
And it's like, yes, that is what it is.
That's a very good – I've only been once, but that's a very good.
Yes.
Paying to watch commercials.
Yes.
You pay to watch commercials.
You pay to buy things.
You pay to watch the commercial a little bit before everybody else.
And you wait in a long line.
That's true.
You do buy something.
For like ever. And then you walk around the non-Hall H parts.
And I bought so much art of like black superheroes.
It's just going to be like – you know if you've ever been to one of the – well, maybe.
But those like grandma houses where it's like Martin Luther King, black Jesus.
Like it's just going to be me but it's going to be like Storm, Black Panther, Wonder Woman dressed as Pam Greer for some reason.
Or Pam Greer dressed as Wonder Woman for some reason.
Like that's what my entire house is going to be.
Linda, this kind of overlaps with your world a little bit.
Did you ever do, have they ever put you on the Comic-Con beats,
or is that something you have stayed away from?
I have basically stayed away from it.
I have a little bit of, like, a crowd thing.
Sure, yes.
I get a little claustrophobic and weirded out.
And also, for me, it's like a, it's just a hard thing to figure out anything to write about.
I don't necessarily like writing, like, I was at this panel and Mark Ruffalo came in.
And then he said this, and then they said this.
Because I feel like, first of all, that's everybody's Twitter feed.
It's also always really close to when Press Tour is.
And doing both back to back
is something that like talk about a young person's game sure sure few people in tca who do it but like
most of the people i know have stopped doing it because it's just right there's too much that's
how you you know it's how those pop culture writers develop those cocaine habits they need
to stay up for comic-con they need to talk to Dean Cain about his Christmas puppy. Exactly. You gotta snort some
rowdy powder. Oh, I wish it was cocaine.
It's mostly just like a lot of like that
Yerba Mata.
The Yerba Mata tea that they sell
at the 7-Eleven that's right down the street
from the hotel. Yes, I know. Right.
You're like, yes, give me that Yerbs.
Yeah, well, and the other thing is, it sounds like
such an old person thing to say, but it's
remarkable how consistently journalists I know who cover Comic-Con say, I'm not going.
There's nowhere to sit.
Like they won't even let you sit on the floor.
It will really take a toll on your ankles.
So, yeah.
You know, we mentioned passionate fans a second ago.
And I just actually – there's something I need to address here.
And it's a source of shame, I'll be honest.
It's something that I've been dealing with all week since we taped our last episode.
And not to get too dramatic with you guys, but I messed up last week, and I think I owe the fans an apology.
I thought I was better than this.
Apparently, I'm not.
When I said I was humming the Police Academy theme song last episode, it turned out to be the Coach theme song.
So I would like to –
That's the coach theme song.
I will now hum the correct theme song just so everybody can fucking get their shit together and stop bothering me about it online.
The Police Academy theme song goes.
Oh, fuck.
How does it go?
Is this going to be another thing?
It's going to be a thing.
Oh, my gosh. Did I forget? I've been to be another thing? It's going to be a thing. Oh, my gosh.
Did I forget?
I've been humming it all day in preparation.
Guys, I'm choking.
Well, while you think of it, while you think of it, I will tell a quick story.
Would you please?
Delta Burke and Coach's daughter lived in the same cul-de-sac as my dad and used to be stepmom back in, I think it was Puyallup, Washington.
Delta Burke and Coach's daughter.
Yes. Wow. Yeah. and Coach's daughter. Yes.
Wow.
Yeah.
That's a lot.
How was that?
It was fine.
She had a house.
I don't, you know, sometimes they would come by
and they would not look at anyone in the eye.
Amazing.
Because why would you?
You're Delta Burke and you're Coach.
Sure.
Yeah.
Why would you?
Okay, guys.
I need to, this is big.
This was going to be my moment.
I was going to make it up to everyone and I have failed them.
Would you like me to look it up on my phone?
No, no.
I think I can get it together.
I just need – I think we need to take a break.
I need to take a deep breath and maybe spend some time with the Lord.
But after that, we'll be back with more Jordan, Jesse, go.
What the is an interview?
I mean, I do not know.
That was Oscar winning filmmaker Errol Morris.
I'm Jesse Thorne, host of NPR's Bullseye.
Allow me to introduce The Turnaround, a new podcast series produced by MaximumFun.org and presented with the Columbia
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We'll be among friends on The Turnaround.
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Subscribe now and tell somebody. Love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, a nickname. Come on, man. Come on. Get your shit together.
Russell Yeller.
There you go.
See? Daniel Radford, yes.
Russell Yeller.
See?
Nice.
The Police Academy theme song goes like this.
I'm sorry.
I apologize. I apologize. I fucked up. I apologize.
I apologize.
I fucked up.
I fucked up the redo.
I just hope you, the listener, can forgive me and allow me back into your home every week.
So with that, something else I'd like to talk about, something else that people have been asking me about on Twitter that is not related to the Police Academy theme song.
Yeah, kind of a weird week for me last week.
So I, for newish and casual listeners, for three and a half-ish years wrote for At Midnight on Comedy Central.
And they just announced that the show is canceled.
So, yeah, it's been been a big weird one for me. And I want to like talk about
it a little bit about how I'm feeling about it. But I also want to kind of acknowledge that like,
it's hard to it's hard to be too woe is me about it, because it was a fucking awesome job that I
was lucky to have. And you know, it is one that a lot of people would have wanted. And I was very
lucky to have it. And it totally changed my life. So I feel like, you know it is one that a lot of people would have wanted and i was very lucky to have it and it totally changed my life so i feel like you know complaining that it it ended
is like saying that you know why isn't this cake bigger or why doesn't this five layer dip have
another layer or you know this orgy was over too soon or something. You know. Why was this orgy happening at the Playboy Mansion?
Yes, exactly.
This is all of the better places.
We need more gym mats.
Why didn't they replace the gym mats after the last orgy?
My knees are slipping off of the gym mats and onto the concrete while I'm at this orgy.
Yeah, James Caan is not an attentive enough lover.
He's paying too much attention to Fred Durst from Limp Bizkit and I won't have it.
This is the worst orgy I've ever been to.
So yeah, it was a surprise.
I think that a lot of people kind of asked me kind of in the wake of it, oh, did you – you guys knew, right?
I mean you probably knew for a long time and
no we did not know uh we absolutely did not know so i think we we found out maybe an hour before
the kind of like deadline in hollywood reporter articles came out um yeah and it was it it it's
tough and i think that i i do kind of recognize you know how lucky i was to have it but also
fuck i'm bummed i'm so bummed and a little terrified.
I think in the show business, there's always that sense of, well, I'm finished.
I'll never work again.
That was my time and it's over and I should just learn how to sell real estate like cinnamon
and maybe sell off that pog collection that's been burning a hole in my pocket.
And maybe sell off that Pog collection that's been burning a hole in my pocket.
But yeah, it's very weird.
And I kind of don't know what I will do next.
I think returning to the world of freelance writing and doing submissions and stuff like that. Have you thought about having five jobs?
Because I've learned that you can almost make rent if you have five writing jobs.
Yeah.
You can almost make rent if you have five writing jobs. Yeah. And I think that's a fucking great example of the world of the, you know, writer on the Guild show and the writer on the Internet thing is being able to make your rent.
like I definitely like realized that I was very very lucky because there are talented and funny people out there Daniel Radford for instance who do great work but just happen to do it for
websites and stuff so yeah so it is I definitely am kind of back in that pool now which is
interesting so yeah it's you so when I get to a point of developing my pilot which is very
specifically just about what it's like to be a young black woman dealing with her young black woman hair, would you like me to send you something if you're looking for?
Yeah.
I mean, if you've got a spot on the staff, I mean, I definitely know.
I definitely maybe can't.
I mean, I definitely, you know, grew up white and straight and privileged and I realize that.
But I mean, having similar hair, I think I can relate to many of your struggles.
Finding a nice leave-in conditioner for one.
There we go.
You want to bring a range of viewpoints to the writer's room right now?
Yeah, you want to bring a bunch of different people.
I want to bring in someone who's never used co-wash but could.
But could.
Sure, sure.
Yeah, no, and I appreciate it, you know, if you have a diversity spot in the room.
Yeah, you would definitely be our white dude spot.
Thank you. No. I'm flattered. I'm very, very flattered.
Yeah.
So it's tough. And I think something that I'm kind of realizing is that I – boy, I maybe have done a shitty job cultivating my life outside of that job.
I really threw myself into it really hard when I got it because I wanted it so bad, you know? And when I finally got it, it was like,
all right, shit, time to do a great job at this and not much else. And I think, yeah, I'm kind of
coming out of it and just with this like, shit, what do I talk about at a fucking party? You know,
I guess I have these kind of long-term worries like the rent is fine for a while.
Comedy Central is very, very nice about this shitty situation and is paying everyone through their contracts and kind of giving people a little bit of time paid to get their affairs in order.
So rent, not a problem now.
It will be perhaps in the future.
Hopefully not.
But now I feel like my main concern is when I am meeting – when I am talking to a friend at a friend at a party, what the fuck do I talk about?
I mean I think if you listen to this podcast, you know, like, oh, I just have so many stories like, oh, I was at this job and this – and I said this at work and this happened at work.
And I'm like, fuck, now that I – what – who am I?
Who am I?
And it's so weird to think about where – what – who am I moving forward and how do I fill that time between jobs?
It's very strange.
Well, Linda, and I don't know if you know about this, but have you heard of Runyon?
Yeah. Oh, interesting. No, tell me more about runyon canyon this is a place that people go and they uh you go and you walk up it and no
one knows why and then when you're done walking up it but with yourself or a friend or a dog that
you have been paid to uh be their friend then you just like walk back down yeah and then you just
tell everybody oh i just did Runyon today.
I did Runyon.
Huh?
This is a local goof.
Maybe we can explain Runyon to you.
So there's a lot of great hiking in LA.
One of the places-
I've heard.
One of the places-
Rumor has it.
One of the places that I might say you should avoid when looking for a great hike down here
is Runyon Canyon.
Runyon Canyon. Runyon Canyon. And it is a place in kind of like the Hollywood Hills where you hike, but also apparently you get very dressed up for that hike.
Yeah.
Like you – so – which is a weird thing because I also do a lot of like – I do a show about being plus size and blah, blah, blah.
And a lot of like the plus size clothes now are just like here's half a hoodie.
And I'm like, I don't.
But why?
Why can't I wear?
It's the left half.
Why can't I wear the whole hoodie or not at all?
And so people get very, you put your full face on.
Yeah.
Spray it down with that stuff that makes your makeup live on your face.
Is it supposed to do something other than like, you don't do that for regular hiking.
What is it about this particular canyon that makes people think it's an occasion?
I think it's just, it's around.
Yeah, I think it is in.
It's the convenient booty call of canyons because it's like right in Hollywood.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Like you can literally just like – like it's close to –
Runyon U-Up.
Is that the –
Yeah.
Yeah, sure.
U-Up a hill.
So –
Like if you've ever been to Nerd Melt or any of those things, like it's in that neighborhood.
So it's pretty easy to like get to and then you just like yeah go up so if yeah if you like if you got drunk and and fell
asleep at at scott bayo's compound you could get up and hike runyon to hike off that hangover
it is in kind of a like stereotypically hollywood neighborhood and yeah i think it's just this place
that you that people who would like to be seen looking hot
know they can go and look hot.
Oh, I see.
So it's like the Bally's Total Fitness.
Yeah.
Like if you go to Griffith Park, for example.
Griffith Park, you know, great place.
A lot of families, a lot of kids, a lot of barbecues.
You know, just a fun public park.
And I think if you are a hot person, you don't want all those yelling kids.
Yeah.
No.
You don't want all these ugly parents and blue collar people around.
Hiking with bottle service.
Yeah, exactly.
I have to get to the top and then I got to refresh and then I got to smize.
Yeah.
You got to smize.
How am I going to concentrate on smizing?
Danielle's right, Jordan. This is exactly what youize. Yeah. You got to smize. How am I going to concentrate on smizing? Danielle's right, Jordan.
This is exactly what you need.
Yeah.
This is what you should spend and then just cultivate that Instagram presence until you
hit, what is it, like 10 grand followers, like 10,000 followers, and then you can start
selling-
Makeup.
Makeup.
Tummy tea.
Yeah.
It makes people poop.
The things that you put on your teeth to make your teeth white and light up
and stuff, there's a world for you.
Your clothing.
I'm going to start selling a quarter of a hoodie.
It's just a hood
and you tie it around your...
It's a hood and two dangly strings.
Wow, both strings?
Guys, you know I'm not on the grams.
I'm not on the grams.
Oh, you've got to get on the grams.
You can start selling this stuff. I'm not on the grams. I'm not on the grams. Oh, you got to get on the grams. You can start selling this stuff.
I get on the grams.
Something that happened to me the day that it happened.
The first thing that I did was – so I had been at this job for a while and I'm like, hey, might be – I don't know.
Might be time to look at buying a house.
I got this job and it's pretty lucrative and I think it will be going – I mean it would be crazy.
Comedy Central would be crazy to cancel this fucking show.
This could go for 10 years.
Yeah, this could – absolutely.
This could be – right, exactly.
This is the Tonight Show of Comedy Central.
They would never cancel it.
So my internet dicking around or my phone dicking around that I was doing was on the Zillow app.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Have you seen –
I look at Zillow, yeah.
Zillow, yeah.
Zillow is like a house Tinder, if you will, or a house Yelp.
Yeah.
But, yeah, I just – and when that happened, I just fucking rage deleted that app.
Oh, I rage deleted that Zillow app like, oh, fuck you.
Fuck you, economy.
But –
Yes.
So the thing is –
Yes.
Here's what I would say.
Yeah.
I, as a person who has already had a couple of jobs and careers not work out –
Yeah.
Theoretically, what you would talk about at parties
is whatever you talked about at parties
before.
Because
what happens is
you become so enmeshed
in one particular job
that it feels like
what on earth...
That is a very similar feeling to the feeling
that I had when I left Television Without Pity, which was the site that I wrote at for a long time.
Oh, my god.
I love Television Without Pity.
Yeah.
Beloved TV review site.
I wrote there for a long time.
And when it had been bought and it was kind of changing and I decided to leave, I had that feeling of like, no, but this is me.
This is my entire thing and I will have no idea what I'm doing.
And I actually saw when I left, I actually found a lovely supportive person on the Internet saying she sucks so bad that she is going to be in six months living at her parents' house begging somebody to give her a job.
Oh, my God. Shout out. That is very specific. going to be in six months living at her parents house begging somebody to give her job oh my god
that is very specific yeah but the thing that was great about it was i was like well not now i'm not
so because like once you read that you're like well guess i'm not going back to live with her
i guess i gotta succeed now you dick i can't let juggalo stud 69 be right. And it's like so you – like there is always a next thing.
Like you know this.
There is always a next thing.
Yeah.
And it's definitely – there's like the practical side of me that knows that like, well, I've never been unemployed that long and I have a nice resume and I have people who care about me and I have this nice podcast.
And things will be fine.
But then there's just that other part of your brain that will take control for no reason
if you drive by a weird billboard or have too much cold brew that's like, well, you're going to die.
Oh, it's terrifying.
And it's coming soon.
It's terrifying.
Yeah.
So it is weird of like just trying to get that practical part of your brain to be in control more of the time. Yeah. Yeah. So it is weird of like just trying to get that practical part of your brain to be in control more of the time.
Yeah. Yeah. Daniel, what's the before you before you started doing comedy full time, what was the job you had the longest?
I was a paralegal. Oh, my gosh. I didn't know that.
You were an attorney. I was. Oh, shit. That's awesome.
Yeah. We're giving each other a high five right now.
You guys can't see it.
Yeah, no, I was a paralegal back in Seattle.
I was a paralegal working in family law predominantly.
And then, yeah.
That's tough.
Yep.
My sister works in family law.
Yike.
And then when I moved here to Los Angeles, I was doing, gosh, a lot of – which I was already kind of doing before, a lot of probate and estate planning.
And then also, which was new for me, was a lot of personal injury, some corporate law, some civil rights stuff, workplace wrongful terminations, some wrongful death.
Oh, boy.
Which is yikes and that kind of thing.
Did you leave when you started making some money on comedy or did you leave for other
reasons?
Oh, no.
They sure as shit laid me off.
Oh, boy.
Oh, they laid me smooth the fuck off.
So I think I've talked about this on the podcast.
If not, I've talked about it on other ones so folks who know me know what's coming.
So I was walking down the street one day it
was the day before new year's eve uh 2014 um when um i was hit in the body by a bus oh boy yes yeah
yeah yeah and i landed in a gutter like 20 feet away it's a whole thing um so it's a whole thing
that sounds like a whole sounds like a deal yeah oh man it was such a half sounds like a deal. Yeah. Oh, man. It was such a hassle.
Sounds like a real how do you do.
Well, it's sort of a –
Sorry for the strong language, but that sounds like a real how do you do.
You hear that story and you're like, and now she talks about wrestling.
It's true.
I'm envisioning you like flying through them.
She gets it.
Yeah, yeah.
She understands.
Yeah, now I get it.
Now I get wrestling more than I ever had before.
Yeah, go ahead.
Go ahead.
Well, no, but so I was dealing with injuries and all this other stuff.
And I was still working there.
And they were going through some changes from what they wanted me to do and what I could actually do do.
And they laid me off even though I was still coming and doing the work and whatever.
They were like, eh, we're all going to go a different direction.
So I got laid off, which is fine.
They're also my lawyers for this thing.
And there's no, like, hard feelings or ill will or anything like that um they're good peeps
and so they laid me off and it wound up being the best fucking thing that ever happened to me
yeah um i was looking for other work while um i was looking for other work while i was on an
employment um just trying to find anything like part-time work full-time work anything that
someone could give me.
And as soon as you tell people I got hit by a bus, it's like, no, I'm not like disabled,
but I got hit by a bus. I've got some injuries, but I'm not disabled.
People would be like, yeah, but we're going to go with the person that was like not hit by a bus.
All things being equal.
If you're telling me you're not disabled and we don't have to make accommodations for you,
we're going to go with the person who wasn't hit by the bus instead of the person who was.
And then, like, I started – Jesse.
Jesse.
You know Jesse.
Sure.
Yeah, yeah.
You like Jesse, right?
Yeah.
I follow him on Twitter, but I've never met him.
Yeah, yeah.
You guys have heard of him.
So it started, like, Jesse approached me on the Twitter because he was looking for someone to do a wrestling, like a couple people to do a wrestling podcast. And he was like, hey, does anyone know of any like women, particularly women of color
in Los Angeles who like wrestling?
And apparently like 30 people were like Danielle Radford.
So that was like my first thing where I was like working with people and doing and doing
like having a creative kind of a thing.
It wasn't like money, but it was fun and I really enjoyed it.
And from there, I did that.
When my unemployment ran out and I was trying so hard to get temp jobs or other jobs,
I got super lucky where Screen Junkies was looking for someone else to come in.
I wound up getting a job with them.
And then it's just like, boom, this thing, that thing, this thing, that thing.
And all this shit happened at once and I was like not expecting it and i was not prepared yeah
um and so even now like screen junkies who i still again work with and they're great um they're no
longer one of because for a while they were like my primary employer they had me on like every day
so they're not like my primary employer anymore but like now i have other people and
i've been doing some stuff with e on like their musically which is an app i guess i don't know
i'm your grandma yeah yeah but it's an app so we do like this crush series can i look at it on the
computer when i go to the public library to check my email and it's music how do you spell that
there's a dot somewhere where dots don't need to be but like i've been doing some of that and some other things and so it it turns out that like after a while if you've been working
and you're consistent and you stay working and you have a good attitude like stuff happens you
just keep like an open mind and you keep submitting for things it's not like i haven't been submitting
and that's half of why i'm getting the things I'm getting. But if you keep a good attitude, you keep doing stuff, it turns out if you're nice and
smart and funny and people like you, you will get things.
You just have to be really patient.
And for me, it took like 10 years before I could get to this point, which is someone
like, you know, I don't know if any of you, if both of you know Marcela Auelo.
Oh, sure.
Yeah.
Yeah.
She was another one.
Speaking at Midnight Favorite.
She is so, so funny on that show.
She's fantastic.
And a great stand-up comic.
So she's another one who she's been working for like 11 years and now she's at a point where she's like writing for TV and she tours all over.
I'm not at the point where I tour all over yet, but I'm working for the – I'm writing and doing work for the internet and all this stuff.
It's just like it takes like a really long time.
Yeah.
It takes like a really long time. Yeah.
And I also think like I think in certain – particularly in certain kinds of careers, like certain kinds of careers are fairly linear and people get the one job and then they get the next job up and then they get the next job up.
I have had much more of a life where like every seven or eight years since I was like 23, I just add a totally new thing.
Like I went to law school when I was 23. Yeah. I went to law school when I was 23.
Yeah, I went to law school when I was 23.
I started writing for money when I was 30.
I started podcasting when I was – that was 10 years because I started in 2010.
And so it's like every eight-ish years, I add a different thing.
And it's like you just – I think creative people are like that.
And it's not necessarily a magic number in terms of how long that cycle is.
But I think like that chapter – those like chapter arrangements are really common with creative people.
So it's like it's an awesome
chapter and one of the things i always tell people about tv is that one of the really regrettable
things about american television is people are not always good at saying like this show was on
for three years or four years and it was awesome and it's a total success for the thing that it is
like it's not like you look back and you're like, oh, Freaks and Geeks, what a failure. It was only on for one
season. Yeah, what a stinker. But it's a
brilliant document,
right? And that's true of a bunch of
different things. And if you look at the success of everyone
on there, even like a John Daly
who for a while was people, was kind
of doing the least amount, he's writing
things. Right, he just wrote Spider-Man, right?
Yeah, he just wrote Spider-Man. He wrote a goddamn
Spider-Man. He wrote a goddamn Spider-Man. His show got
canceled and he wrote a fucking Spider-Man.
And he's delightful. Even the guy who was Jonathan
on Buffy has written
some great things.
So I think what we're telling you, Jordan,
is that you will write the next Spider-Man
movie. Yes, that's what we're telling you.
Oh God, I have so many ideas.
It's the first time we've seen Carnage on film.
Well, yeah, actually, why don't we take a quick break? I have so many ideas. Yeah. Okay. It's the first time we've seen carnage on film. No. Well, yeah.
Actually, why don't we take a quick break?
I have an unemployment-related question for you guys, but we will get to it after these announcements. La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la September 1st through 3rd. We only have a few tickets left, and they're on sale right now.
So head on over to MaxFunCon.com to buy your tickets.
Don't miss out.
It's Jordan, Jesse, Go.
I'm Jordan Morris.
Boy, detective.
I'm Danielle Radford, Russell Yeller.
And Linda Hollinsquaker, Avenger.
We got some messages on the Jumbotron.
This message is for David in Portland from Serge and Tony and their mom.
David is a lout and a churl, the king of an empty castle, sitting atop an ivory tower.
Only he can see.
This is a cold read, people.
He said that the beef and dairy network is too high concept.
He beat the curve on the man bun, but only because we told him to do it.
David, you may refute these claims, but only via Jumbotron on your favorite podcast,
Ma-Bim-Bam, Good Luck Scrub.
Boy, that's a little lot to parse in there.
That's what you get when you read your Jumbotron message into Siri.
Manbone, meat and dairy.
I feel like we just activated like a hypno-soldier.
I feel like there's a hypnotized soldier.
And now he's going to assassinate the prime minister of Guam.
Sorry, guys. We just woke up. Yeah. Now he's going to assassinate the prime minister of Guam.
Sorry, guys.
We just woke up.
Yeah.
We just woke up.
We just woke up.
We just woke up.
One more.
I don't know how much sense this one will make. This is for Michael Tartell.
This message is from your favorite cousin and Lottie's favorite grandchild, Zach.
Wow.
Hey, I totally bought some extra pins for your very past birthday.
I don't have your contact info, so send it through Jordan Morris
or some other MaxFun person to me, and I'll send some cool belated gifts.
I miss you, and I hope you're crushing the viruses or whatever.
Maybe Caitlin and I will visit and check out that crepe place.
Hashtag bring back Barry Blue Jeans.
What does any of this mean?
All I know is that they want us to have his contact information.
Yeah, I guess I'm supposed to deliver a package.
Now I'm in on this?
Am I doing dead drops for you people?
Jesus Christ.
This is like one of those number stations.
5, 86, pins, Caitlin. Yan is like one of those number stations. 5, 86,
pins, Yankee,
hotel, Foxtrot.
This is how you get arrested, Jordan.
Oh boy.
He's becoming a courier.
This is how Putin is communicating information to his
agents in America.
If you have a message you want to share, nonsense or otherwise,
hit us up at MaximumFun.org slash Jumbotron. We can get your message out to people for a reasonable price.
We'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jessica.
It's Jordan, Jessica. I'm Jordan Morris, boy detective. La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la here. Linda Holmes, of course, of the Pop Culture Happy Hour, one of the finest pop culture podcasts for my money.
And Danielle Radford of Tights and Fights and many, many internet projects.
So if one had a lot of free time on their hands suddenly and maybe thought they needed to crawl into a dark hole for a couple of days and let things process.
What is a good show to cram in your face hole that you could potentially have done or, you
know, maybe like halfway done at the end of this morning period?
Does anything come to mind immediately?
Good show.
Yes. Something to fill the time.
Something finished?
Doesn't have to be.
I kind of like, personally, I kind of like something that I can kind of like finish in a sitting.
Give me three TV shows that you like.
Yeah.
Okay, stuff that I've liked.
I love The Leftovers.
The Leftovers is like my favorite TV of the past couple years.
I really, really loved the
third season of Fargo.
And I, boy howdy, I watched the
when Fargo came out originally
the TV show, couldn't
have DVR'd that faster.
Loved the Coen brothers, loved the original movie
and just had such a negative reaction to that first
episode. I was like, oh, fuck this.
But then I'm like, alright, Fargo. I think it was too close. I think that first season was too close to the movie. Yeah, I that first episode. I was like, oh, fuck this. Oh, interesting. But then I'm like, all right, Fargo.
I think it was too close.
I think that first season was too close to the movie.
Yeah.
I don't know.
I still loved that season, though.
I did, too.
I loved the first two seasons both, yeah.
Sorry, tell me something else.
Oh, no, no.
And, oh, and I also really am enjoying the show Great News on NBC.
Great News.
Cool.
Anything, yeah, anything from anyone involved in 30 Rock I'm basically on board for.
Interesting. True for. Interesting.
True story.
Interesting.
Okay.
Let's see.
Because the thing is, my brain goes to my comfort genres, which are different from that.
Yeah.
Because the thing that I've been recommending to everybody who's like, tell me something
to watch on Netflix, I'm always like, oh, watch the new One Day at a Time because it's
awesome.
Oh, sure.
Yeah, yeah.
Absolutely.
I've had a lot of people talk about the new One day at a time it's really fantastic and if you like great news which
means you can tolerate like kind of like comedy comedy like sure yeah sitcom comedy yeah but it
is more traditional like it's it is uh it is multi-camera it has yeah laugh track has studio
audience um but at the same time like it's so good it's it's a real if you can kind of get into
the if you can kind of get past that i really love it okay and then but like i then always wind up
being like have you seen the great british baking show like that because that's the kind of stuff
that i that i love boy like settling in but it's totally it's so specific to the person you're just
like a you're like a carrie coon guy and uh oh yeah oh yeah maybe i just like a, you're like a Carrie Coon guy. And, um, Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Maybe I just
like things that involve Carrie Coon. Yeah. God, she's so good in both those things. Yeah. In which
case you should watch the movie of Gone Girl. Oh, I have seen the movie of Gone Girl. I like it a
lot. She's in that too. Have you seen, it's an old Comedy Central show called Dog Bites Man.
Oh, right. This was kind of an, this is like the first time Zach Galifianakis was on TV, right?
Yes, yes, yes, yes. It's really funny.
Is Andrea Savage in that?
Yeah, it's about a news team in Spokane.
Just about any – if you look at it now, it's filled of, oh, that guy.
So yeah, I had to look it up just to make sure.
But yeah, it's Matt Walsh, Andrea Savage, Zach Galifianakis, A.D. Miles.
A lot of people that you recognize have been in that.
Oh, nice. And it is super, 80 Miles. A lot of people that you recognize have been in that. Oh, nice.
And it is super, super funny.
It's so interesting.
You're saying that Comedy Central canceled a show before it was fucking ready.
People who were working on it probably wanted to buy a house.
That's a good fall.
Yeah, I love that show.
They still, I think, occasionally show it on there, and I think it's amazing.
You've seen Veronica Mars, right?
Yes, I have.
Not the whole thing.
I've seen a few Veronica Marses.
Maybe that's it.
Veronica Mars is the one that you got at least the first season.
Okay.
If nothing else, you have to finish the first season.
That first season, I think, is the most perfect first season of television of the modern era.
I would say also Friday Night Lights, but Veronica Mars is a good pull for that, too.
Have you watched The Good Place?
Oh, no, I haven't watched The Good Place. It's a good show. Yeah, I've seen a few good places and I liked it. It's a good a good pull for that, too. Have you watched The Good Place? Oh, no, I haven't watched The Good Place.
It's a good show.
Yeah, I've seen a few good places and I liked it.
It's a good show.
Maybe something to revisit.
That's a good show.
If you're into again, if you're into like a comedy that you can kind of dip in and out of.
You've watched probably like some of the very silly stuff.
Like you've watched Frisky Dingo and stuff like that.
Oh, yeah, sure.
Yeah.
Adult Swimmy type stuff.
Frisky Dingo is fun.
I don't always love all that stuff.
I'm not a consistent person who loves that kind of-
Stony animated show.
Exactly.
But I really liked Frisky Dingo.
Okay.
I thought Frisky Dingo was-
Yeah, I mean, I love Archer more than anything.
So yeah.
Yeah.
Frisky Dingo's a good idea.
Have you seen The League?
Oh, I have.
I used to watch.
The League used to be like a regular watch for me and it slipped off basically for no
good reason.
It's one of those shows you're like, why did I stop watching that?
It's fun.
No reason.
It's good.
There will be at least one episode every season where you're like, well, that's crossing the
lines of good taste that I've drawn for myself.
But it's consistently so funny that you find yourself forgetting that that guy lied about 9-11.
It's so funny that you forget that he lied so hard.
That's on the DVD box now, right?
So funny you forget that that guy lied about 9-11?
Have you watched Catastrophe?
Oh, no, I haven't watched Catastrophe.
I think you might like Catastrophe.
It's real weird and it's real filthy.
I think you might enjoy Catastrophe. It's real weird and it's real filthy. I think you might enjoy
Catastrophe.
I enjoy Catastrophe a lot.
And those are short. Those are tiny
little seasons. Ten episodes?
Six episodes? Something like that?
I think there's six. You've seen Empire, right?
I've not seen Empire.
Bruh. It's so silly
and so campy
and so amazing. This is the show starring Cookie, right?
Yeah, it's so incredibly over the top and good.
Okay.
It's definitely one of those ones where it's like, put your fucking brain away.
Yeah, sure.
And just watch Cookie be Cookie and just watch a bunch of people who should probably be nominated for awards, but for not that show, a different show, not that show, a different show.
And watch them be amazing
so that one's really good that I enjoy
Nashville is another one where it's like I love it
my dream would be
a Nashville Empire crossover
yeah Nashville and Empire are basically the same
they're basically the same show
just with a totally different sensibility
and I think Empire is another one where
like the thing I love about shows like Empire is like I do the thing that people swear that you can't do with serialized shows, which is like I dip in and out of them.
Yeah.
And sometimes I check in on like episode descriptions and I'm like, OK, that sounds like I would enjoy it.
As opposed to like, oh, they're doing a story with these people again.
I don't care about these people.
So if you hit there's enough of Empire now that if you hit a piece of Empire that you don't like, you can always be like, I'm going to pick it up again in four episodes.
I'm going to jump forward.
People say you can't do that.
It's such a lie.
Yeah.
I mean I think there's recaps and stuff like that.
Well, you're not going to be that confused.
Sure.
Speaking of things you can kind of go crazy and go all over the place, have you seen Scandal yet?
I was in an episode of Scandal.
Thank you very much.
And I still get a fucking check for it every couple of months.
What?
What?
Yes.
I had a couple lines in an episode of Scandal season two. I've. And I still get a fucking check for it every couple months. Wait, what? What? Yes, I had a couple lines in an episode of Scandal season two.
I've seen every episode.
How have I missed you in Scandies?
How have I missed you in my Scans?
I'm a publisher of a, oh God, like a tabloid.
I was paying someone who got killed for information.
What?
Oh man, that could be any season, any time.
Damn it.
It's like between three and five lines.
Don't.
Season two.
Stop downplaying it.
Season two. Scandal. Okay, now immediately I have to go look you up in Scandal. You two. Stop downplaying it. I was Scandal.
Okay, now immediately I have to go look you up in Scandal.
You know that's my afternoon now.
There you go, yeah.
Oh, I'm very good in that episode.
Once in a while, someone from Scandal will contact my management and say, is he available?
Because as I was leaving, the director said to me, he's like, all right, well, you didn't die, so you can come back.
So I think they have a Scandal scandal averse that I am in.
Right.
Yeah.
You're canon.
I think everyone's clamoring for the return of sleazy tabloid reporter.
It's that world of Washington, D.C. that doesn't exist.
And eventually the spinoff.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
You'll have your own spinoff.
And the thing that's so funny about their vision of D.C., the one thing I always point out to people is like at one point there was somebody where they said that they were selling luxury.
They had a luxury car dealership in Tacoma Park.
And I was like, that would never happen.
That cannot happen.
You would not have a luxury car dealership in Tacoma Park.
Hybrids, maybe.
Not a luxury.
Sure, sure, sure.
It's a little more crunchy.
You have to know your neighborhood.
Well, it's like Crazy Ex-Girlfriend and like that beginning episode where they're just wandering around downtown L.A.
And I'm like, but it's...
Yeah.
Okay.
Which is another one.
What did they get wrong about downtown L.A.?
No, because they were supposed to be in New York.
Oh, sure, sure, sure.
And they're trying to crop out the palm trees, but we still see you palm trees.
And there are a lot of superheroes.
Just crossing out tacos and writing pizza and all the signs.
We can see that you crossed it out.
Superhero movies where it's supposed to be someplace else and it's Toronto.
And that will be humor, yeah.
And everybody will be like, I see all the Toronto stuff.
Hey, I'm walking here.
Eh?
Eh?
Crazy ex-girlfriend?
Taxi, you hoser.
Crazy ex-girlfriend's another one, if you would like to.
Okay, yeah, yeah.
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend is great.
Yeah, I mean, Rachel Bloom is terrific.
Yeah, that's great.
The songs are top tier.
It does, you will cringe a whole bunch, but it also makes you feel better about your entire
play of last life.
And it has a dark, you know what I mean?
Yeah.
It has a kind of a, it's sweet, but it has like a dark, you know what I mean? Yeah. It has a kind of a,
it's sweet,
but it has also like a very.
Sure, it's got some teeth.
It's got some teeth.
Okay.
Yeah, for sure.
Well, yes, thank you guys.
Great, great,
great recommendations all.
And now we would like to turn,
as we always do,
to our phone lines.
People will call us at 206-984-4FUN
to tell us about various amazing things that have happened to them.
Let's listen to our first call now.
Hey, Jordan, Jesse, and guests.
This is Chelsea in Lawrence, Kansas.
I'm calling with momentous occasion.
I am on my way to see Baby Driver, proudly wearing my Judge John Hodgman enamel pin that I got in the mail.
But in the lane next to me is a Ford Explorer, like the pickup truck thing.
And on the back window is one of those like in memoriam decals on it. You know, that people put on the back of their car to remember a lost loved one or friend or whatever.
But it is for Paul Walker, and it has an outline of his car from Fast and the Furious, and
it says, dude, I almost had you.
It says Paul Walker, like 1973 to 2013, and then his signature.
And that felt pretty momentous so
anyways thanks love the show bye
I mean I get it
I'm a fan of the Fast and Furious movies
I think Paul Walker is fucking great in them
you know what
I approve of this person's bumper
sticker he was
a god damn show business light
yeah I
saw him just after he died.
I saw him in the one that was like the parkour movie.
Oh, sure.
Yeah, yeah.
Based on like the French.
It was like based on a French movie.
I'm not going to remember what it's called.
But I enjoyed him.
I always kind of enjoyed him.
And I do love the Fast and Furious movies.
Boy, yeah, they sure are great.
Yeah, they're really fun movies.
They're very very very silly i like that they have um ratcheted up the insanity oh my gosh yeah i mean i don't know if you've seen the most recent one but jason statham
fucking those guys up on the plane while carrying a baby yeah that is the best is like yeah i they
joke that like oh we could be in space next but i like, I will just tell me when to get in line.
Yes.
Right.
Go to space.
I will watch it when you're in space.
Like, why is that even a question?
I was going to say, like, what are you, are you suggesting it's like too over the top?
Like, no.
There's no such thing as that.
Back in time, the cars are just driving around shooting missiles at dinosaurs.
Just do it.
No one will say it's too weird.
shooting missiles at dinosaurs.
Just do it.
No one will say it's too weird.
Honestly, if they could do a Fast and Furious and Transformer crossover,
that might be the way I would enjoy a Transformers movie.
Yes, that would be the only way.
Oh, man, them just hanging out with Bumblebee.
Fast and Furious-saurus.
That's the one Jordan wants. All right, excuse me.
I have several movies to write.
You have all this time.
I know what you're going to do.
Let's take one more call, shall we?
Hi, this is Steven from St. Louis with a momentous occasion.
Hi, Jordan, Jesse, and guest.
I just encountered a small child at Target that has Sonic the the hedgehog,
shaved into his head.
That's like a haircut.
Not only that,
there was actually dyed blue.
Very impressive.
Thanks.
Good delivery.
That is amazing.
That is momentous.
That kid gotta go fast.
What are we gonna do?
Are we gonna stop him from going fast?
No.
Don't. Yes. Never gonna stop that kid to go fast. What are we going to do? Are we going to stop him from going fast? No. Yes.
Never going to stop that kid from going fast.
Sonic's got to run.
Sonic's got to run.
Bird's got to fly.
Bird's got to fly.
Sonic's got to run.
You got to get those rings.
You got to go around the loop.
You got to get those rings.
You got to get the rings.
You got to get those rings, Jordan.
Well, thank you very much to everyone who gave us a call at 206-9844-FUN if you have a momentous occasion.
If you want to violate an NDA anonymously, we're accepting those calls now.
206-984-4FUN.
We'll be back in just a second on Jordan Jesse Go.
It's Jordan Jesse Go.
I'm Jordan Morris, boy detective.
Danielle Radford, wrestle yeller.
And Linda Holmes, quaker avenger uh so uh just to uh to mention a few things before we uh before we say goodbye this
week uh danielle in addition to the tights and fights podcast the podcast about wrestling that
you do right here on maximum fun.org uh you uh and i will be performing together at the Max Fun Beer Blast.
That is August 12th.
That is at the Angel City Brewery, downtown Los Angeles.
A lot of great guests there.
Riley Silverman, the hilarious head writer of International Waters.
Terrific stand-up comic.
Frequent guest on this program.
Open Mike Eagle will be doing some music for us.
And he is also of the Tights and Fights podcast.
Yes.
I assume his music will only be tangentially wrestling related, but I don't know.
There could be some wrestling content.
Maybe he has a song about the Ultimate Warrior he'd like to debut.
He might, actually.
I think we'd all like that.
And we'll be doing Jordan Jessico live there with a special guest, Elliot Kalin from the Flophouse.
Oh, man.
Yeah.
Elliot Kalin, the Flophouse. Oh, man. Yeah, Elliot Kalin, recent
New York transplant. This will be his
first live show out in L.A.
So, yeah, we'd love to
welcome him with open arms.
So if you want to see Elliot, Danielle,
Riley, me, Jesse, open
Mike Eagle, come to the Max Fun
Beer Blast, Angel City Brewery, August
12th. Those tickets are $10. They're at
MaximumFun.org or on brown paper tickets.
Heck, yeah.
And if you've seen me before, my new wig is resplendent.
Oh, my gosh.
There's a new wig?
This is my new wig.
Oh, I love the wig.
It is resplendent.
Thank you.
It's a very resplendent wig.
It's my summer her.
I didn't know it was new, but I did know it was resplendent.
Thank you.
Linda Holmes, of course, you co-host the Pop Culture Happy Hour podcast over there on NPR.org.
One of my favorites.
It's truly like something that I listen to every week.
You guys are my consistent commute slash walk slash hike buddies.
And yeah, I think everybody here who enjoys witty, thoughtful discussions of pop culture, should be listening to it on the reg.
Appreciate you, Jordan.
Yes.
One last thing.
Jordan, Jesse Goh listeners, of course,
love our timeless catchphrase,
It me, I'm that.
If you love to,
if you see things out in the world,
for instance, a squirrel eating a tater tot,
or a snake dragging a milkshake
out of a garbage can.
Oh, shit.
It me.
It me.
I'm that.
It me.
It me.
We have a special t-shirt up for you at maxfundstore.com.
It me.
I'm that with an arrow pointing up to you so you can let people know it you.
You're that.
Maxfundstore.com.
Those are available only for a limited time.
That is a limited time item.
So don't sleep on it.
Get that T-shirt while you still can.
MaxFun Beer Blast, August 12th, if you're in the Southern California area.
And I think that is it.
Thanks to Danielle.
Thanks to Linda.
Thanks to Daniel on the boards.
Thanks to Brian editing the program.
We'll see you next week at Jordan, Jesse, go.
Maximumfund.org.
Comedy and culture.
Artist owned.
Listener supported.