Jordan, Jesse, GO! - Ep. 507: Gooble Gooble with John-Luke Roberts
Episode Date: November 21, 2017International Waters writer and comedian John-Luke Roberts joins Jordan and Jesse for a deep dive on what everyone remembers about Married: With Children, the amount of interest British people have in... American things versus the other way around, and John-Luke's upcoming first Thanksgiving.
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Give a little time for the child within you, don't be afraid to be young and free.
Undo the locks and throw away the keys and take off your shoes and socks and run you.
It's Jordan Jesse Goh. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart.
Jordan Morris, boy detective.
Well, of course, every week on Jordan Jesse Goh, we talk about what?
The Industrial Revolution, of course.
Mm-hmm.
We talk about what?
The Industrial Revolution, of course.
Mm-hmm.
The steam engine, the cotton gin, the mechanization of work and the impact it had, not just on the robber barons.
Sure.
But on the common working man.
Cogs, both literal and metaphorical.
Exactly.
Cogs, cogs, cogs, cogs, cogs.
Oh, man.
So excited to talk cogs today.
Boy, yeah.
I mean, where do you want to start?
Biggins?
Little-ins.
And, of course, the metaphorical cogs that are the American workers.
Yeah.
I mean, I think I say let's do three segments.
Great.
Biggins.
First segment.
Second segment. Do you remember that Biggins was the fictional playboy analog that Al Bundy read?
Yes, ma'am.
I remember that.
Oh, boy.
Okay.
So the segments are-
Hold on.
Do you think-
Yeah.
We have-
Sorry.
Sorry to get away from the Industrial Revolution.
Right.
Can I just tell you the three segments?
Sure.
Biggins.
Biggins.
Littlins.
And tweeners.
Love it.
Okay.
Go ahead.
Those are cogs that are tween.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Tween, biggins, and littleins.
Yeah.
Do you think we have a listener out there who maybe has worked for an art department
or is into showbiz memorabilia that can track down a copy of Biggins and we can maybe like hang it somewhere in the studio
as just like a source of inspiration.
Is it filled with actual pornography?
I'm curious about that.
I'd be probably not.
I don't think there is any program.
And by the way, this week on the show, instead of doing the Industrial Revolution stuff,
let's just talk about whatever.
Okay.
Thank you.
I didn't want to say anything.
I didn't want to be a wet blanket.
But yeah, I'm happy to not talk about it.
I don't think there is any program in the history of my lived experience that more confuses me when I look back upon it, that I know less of what to make of it. I don't know
if Married with Children was some kind of brilliant satire, was just dumb, was a combination of those
things. I don't know. I'm pretty sure Ed O'Neill in particular is very funny.
Should we bring our guest into this?
Yeah, because he won't know anything about this show.
Ladies and gentlemen, our guest, David Fastino.
He might.
I don't know.
He's from another country.
We can ask if they had this show.
Maybe they did.
He's a writer on international waters and an international bon vivant visiting us from the great nation of London.
His name is John Luke Roberts.
Hi, John Luke.
Hello.
Thank you for having me.
Of course.
Thank you for having us.
Did the television program Married with Children air in the United Kingdom?
I think so.
I've seen it.
I've seen it.
So I think it did.
Yeah.
And you're right.
Baffling.
One time I heard Katie Siegel, the female lead of that program, on Fresh Air.
And she was talking about Sons of Anarchy, which apparently she was on, and also her singing career.
She's a beautiful singer, by the way.
And I thought, you know, this peg from Married with Children
seems like a great lady.
Is she good?
I don't know.
I've never seen Sons of Anarchy.
Don't care to, frankly.
You know, I think something that I learned as a kid
watching Married with Children, and it was a show that we had to sneak. It was a sneak show for us. frankly um you know it is i think something that i learned as a kid watching married with children
and it was a show that we had to sneak it was a sneak show for us it was not allowed in the house
can i just check you may please when the titles came up yes was it like married in a fancy font
and then a kind of dripping with children i think the with children was slime yeah yeah which
looking back was a weird choice was it it like a ka-chunk stamp?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, ka-chunk and then slime.
So they've gone to the registry office, they've been registered married, boom, and then haunted immediately.
Yes, and then the ectoplasm seeps in.
John Luke, I don't know if you have children.
I know that you don't, Jordan, but I can tell you.
Well, I might.
When they are delivered, they're not not slimy.
Okay. Oh, so you think that the slime in the Married With Children
logo was after birth? Sure, why not?
Yeah, that's why every week on the credit sequence
they eat the placenta. Oh, right, yeah. Because they seemed
like a working class Midwest family.
Right.
But in fact,
they had a little bit of...
Did they have one
precociously adult child?
Okay.
So the children were...
So there was Bud,
who was a horny nerd.
David Faustino.
He was a horny nerd.
What age was he meant to be?
Because I remember
sort of watching it
and thinking,
well, they're children
and then they're not. I don't know when I
saw it. I ran for many, many
years. Yeah, this was like when sitcoms
ran for, I bet it was on for 15 years.
It might have been on for 15 years. I agree
because it was like the first show on
Fox. Yeah. It was literally the
first show on Fox, I think. Sure. And it
ran for indefinitely
thereafter. And so
what you are remembering is that the two children, David Faustino and Christina Applegate, were like 35 years old when the show ended.
They also had a dog whose thoughts you could hear.
There was a lot of weird shit in it.
Yeah, there was a dog whose thoughts you can hear.
They added a little kid late in it.
shit in it yeah there was a dog whose thoughts you can hear they added a little kid late in it why do i feel like i have no retrospective understanding of what was going on on that show
yet i feel like with the same amount of memory of the show i feel like i have a perfect
understanding of what was going on on the no less weird chris sitcom Get a Life.
Right.
Like, an episode with...
I remember there was
an episode of Get a Life,
and I have not watched
Get a Life since it was
on television.
I listened to the album
Handsome Boy Modeling School
a lot that samples
freely from it,
but besides that...
And I remember
there was an episode
where Chris Elliott
and his dad
had an alien that came and lived with them.
Yeah.
His name was like Blort or something.
We did not get a life.
Did you?
Okay.
So, I mean, I think the main thing of Married with Children, here's why I think we weren't allowed to watch.
It was because there were so many put downs.
There were a lot of put downs.
I mean, it is pro.
It was profoundly vulgar.
Sure.
Yeah.
That was its primary.
And everyone hated each other.
Did you did you guys have an analog in the UK?
It seems like that is a like family who snipes at each other.
I don't want to speak for you, but all creatures great and small.
The vet program.
Yeah. It's about those those nasty dirty country veterinarians yeah who hate their animals and the animals hate them too yeah
exactly and the crowd's always like boo i think because we have a reputation for the sort of
nastier comedy don't we yeah i mean it even seems when i when i when i reconsider marry with children
it almost seems kind of british to me in a weird way.
Yeah.
I feel like it's like –
It's about class more than American shows usually are.
Isn't All in the Family a remake of a British show?
I think it might be.
I feel like one of the reasons might be I think that – I think in a way that Married with Children was conceived as like almost a satire of all in the family.
I think, I don't know why I know this,
but one of the, that originally Married with Children was going to be called Not the Cosby Show.
That was the pitch.
Yeah, which has changed, obviously.
Sure, yes.
Yeah, because it's got whites on it.
Right, that's what I'm sure it was.
Yes, it was, yeah, there was a racial remark at the time.
Although, ironically, Lena Horne did appear on both the Cosby Show and later Married with Children, as did Dizzy Gillespie.
I think something I remember taking away from Married with Children as a kid, and it was one of those shows that we had to watch when the parents were out of the house or watch at a friend's house.
Because, again, my parents were concerned with the put-downs.
the house or watch at a friend's house because again my parents were concerned with the put downs uh and you know and oh also we like we would we were big you know or i was a big simpsons taper
and sometimes you'd get you know five minutes of married with children before the you know after
your simpsons that you've taped off the vcr it's something i remember getting from Married with Children that I had never gotten from any other source before was that, oh, women can also be horny.
I feel like when you're a kid and you were watching stuff in the late 80s, early 90s, the jokes about horniness were always about how horny men were and about how women had headaches or had to get up early right and uh you know a little bit about my growing up uh you know extremely
it was very it was very horny but i grew up in the playboy mansion um yeah it was you know uh
my parents did not have a great marriage and slept in separate beds for a long time. So I didn't get to see any kind of adult horniness up close.
You didn't have any modeling of healthy horniness.
Yes.
And I think watching Married with Children where Peg was very horny and Al was not gave
me a lot to chew on.
I think that watching the effect that it had on me was, I don't think that if I had – let me put it this way.
I think watching Married with Children made it such that – set the conditions so that now as an adult, I can only reach orgasm if I've had my tushy massage.
Oh, yeah.
Peg loved her tushy massage.
Sorry, John, to talk indefinitely About this show
That you didn't have
In your country
I'm
It's fun to piece it together
Though from the information given
Yeah
To try and imagine it
Of course
Women Can Also Be Horny
Was the second proposed title
For
Right first of all
It was
That's interesting
Not the Cosby show
Women Can Also Be Horny
Married with Children
Yeah
The main thing I know
Can we make it slimier
Yeah let's go with that
The main thing I feel like I know From talking to British comedy friends such as John Luke about American television as it went to the U.K.
is that while they got Friends about the same amount as we did, that Friends was a similarly big deal in the U.K. as it was in the United States,
Friends was a similarly big deal in the UK as it was in the United States.
They seem to view the Larry Sanders show and Seinfeld as equivalent because they like ran late at night in what I can only presume was the BBC's Jew hour.
It was there on BBC Two one after another.
Yeah.
On a Tuesday or Thursday night or something. Yeah.
Two, one after another, yeah.
On a Tuesday or Thursday night or something?
Yeah, I mean, like, that is the most bizarre.
Like, Seinfeld, the amazing thing about Seinfeld is that it was a monstrous hit. That was also the very weird thing about Seinfeld, watching it.
You go, well, this seems really niche.
How is this extraordinary success?
Even retrospectively, I can't put the pieces together in my head.
Even retrospectively, I can't put the pieces together in my head.
I think it was because it was before good or smart people had anything to watch besides PBS.
Sure.
And PBS is boring.
It could be good, but it's almost always boring.
And so the fact that there was a show, like it was like everybody was like, well, we better watch Seinfeld.
Sure.
Because if we don't watch Seinfeld, we're not going to have anything to talk about.
Right?
Like, if there's not a Woody Allen movie out right now, we are fucked.
I think that's pretty much how it worked.
Yeah.
No, I think it is one of those things like Game of Thrones is now to where a, you know, it has enough stuff in it to where if you're, know an undiscerning person who just watches whatever you can enjoy the dragons and the violence but there's you know
there's kind of a highfalutin tone that your tv person can latch if you fancy you can enjoy the
incest yes you're exactly something for everyone do you yes do you like swordplay it's got it
yeah i like brother on sister with seinfeld it like, do you enjoy the kind of high comedy of adding extraordinary stakes to perfectly ordinary situations?
And that, you know, if you're a fancy pants comedy snob like us, that works.
And if you're not a fancy pants comedy snob, you can still enjoy the kind of low grade buzz of racism.
Yeah, exactly.
The subtle notes.
Yeah.
The mouthfeel of the racism.
Oh, so that's what Puerto Ricans are like, you'll say to yourself.
I wonder where Poppy is from.
Exactly.
No one says.
John, I was surprised when we were just, oh, do you prefer John or John Luke, by the way?
John Luke.
Okay, I'll do John Luke.
JL, is that good?
JL works.
Great.
I was surprised when we were doing our kind of pre-show chatting that you – I asked if you were doing showbiz meetings and gigs and you said you weren't doing that much.
You were here for purely vacational purposes.
Yeah.
And I was flattered that you decided to come do this thing.
Well, I need some way of making this tax deductible.
Oh, okay.
So right now we're in a home office.
Yeah.
Got it.
What are you doing with your American vacation
other than some light podcasting?
I'm enjoying the weather.
Yeah.
I'm having a Thanksgiving.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, that sounds exciting. What are the circumstances? I go to my weather. Yeah. I'm having a Thanksgiving. Oh, yeah. Oh, that sounds exciting.
What are the circumstances?
I go to my friend's Thanksgiving.
But, I mean, did you come here because your friend was like, I'm having an American Thanksgiving.
You should fly 6,000 miles.
No, it was completely – it was absolutely coincidental.
I mean, I guess it's the same time every year.
Right.
Yeah.
Same date?
Same date?
Was it the last Thursday in November? I think it's the last Thursday. Yeah, it's one of time every year. Right. Yeah. Same date? Was it the last Thursday in November?
I think it's the last Thursday.
Yeah, it's one of those.
Okay.
Yeah.
So that just sort of happened.
Is it something you're looking forward to?
Do you have a concept of Thanksgiving in your mind?
What do you expect to happen?
Have you seen Home for the Holidays?
I think at Thanksgiving, a group of people get together
with different comic characteristics
and one of them gets their head
stuck in a turkey.
Of course, there's going to be a hard-boiled
cop and then there's going to be a rookie
and they're not going to get along at first.
John Luke, to be clear, you are not actually
thinking of Thanksgiving. You are thinking
of Mr. Bean.
Oh, I have seen
that yeah that'll be it then yes I'm sorry I'm sorry I bought the flights now
yeah could you just got the VHS sure so what are your what are your preconceived
notions about what's going down at this you have you been given a heads up um i i um i so
don't worry about offending us uh we don't like there's a very large table of people
yeah right um there will be a turkey probably yep there's um uh there's then bowls of things
like maybe sweet potatoes yeah um i know the word s'mores and I think it might be a camping thing.
But I think it also might be something that you have at Thanksgiving.
Oh, that's fun.
That would be fucking awesome if you had chores at Thanksgiving.
Yeah, I mean, that's great.
S'mores are really good.
Yeah, it is more of a camping thing.
I don't know what a Thanksgiving, how that would be prepared.
It traditionally would be prepared around the campfire.
You may be getting confused because there are definitely preparations, particularly of sweet potatoes, that involve marshmallows.
Yeah.
Because apparently sweet potatoes plus like brown sugar or whatever you put in there, not sweet enough.
So top it with a layer of marshmallow.
So marshmallows are involved in s'mores.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
Marshmallows are central to s'mores.
Oh, okay.
You know what might be good?
You know what might be good?
What might be good?
A sweet potato s'more.
Does that sound like that would be terrible?
I envisioned it.
I envisioned graham cracker.
Yeah.
Layer of sweet potato.
Yeah.
Hershey.
Yeah.
Mallow.
Yeah.
Cracker two.
Yeah.
Is that good?
That might be
That could be good
Might be good
Could we get some cured meat in there?
Yeah okay
Alright
Yeah so okay
So we're going
Cracker
Cracker 1
Ham
Ham
Pastrami
Yeah it was more of a pastrami thing
I was thinking
Yeah yeah
You wanted to be
Sure yeah
Yeah
Like an Italian
Or a Spanish
What about like a
What about like a Korean blood sausage?
Sure, if you wanted these to be fusion.
Can I just check instead or as well?
I love fusion.
Yeah.
Okay, great.
Instead and as well.
Yeah.
Okay, so s'mores, we're drilling down in here.
Are you going to someone's family Thanksgiving or what is sometimes known as a friend's giving?
Going to someone's family Thanksgiving or what is sometimes known as a Friendsgiving?
Ah, I was just – my Lyft driver here used the phrase Friendsgiving.
Oh, sure. So I've just learned that.
It's like Thanksgiving, but you've got friends there.
Yeah.
Monica, Ross, Rachel, a monkey.
Yeah.
Eventually a black person.
Sure, yeah.
Well, very briefly.
Yeah.
Not one of the central club.
No, but she's been a guest on this show, so let's not speak ill of her.
And Tom Selleck, of course.
I was really slurring.
God, I would love to get Tom Selleck on this show.
You were making a comment about lack of representation.
Don't misinterpret me.
What's your problem with Aisha Tyler?
I have no problem with, I wish it had been six Aisha Tylers.
Yeah, that would be a dope show.
I would watch that.
You know what?
Let's remake Multiplicity.
That's the one you went to, huh?
And Beetlejuice.
And Birdman.
And Batman.
Yes, every Michael Keaton role.
Yeah.
Okay, so it's a Friendsgiving.
That's good, because the stakes will be lower.
You don't have to worry about someone's grandma.
There will be no actual stakes, by the way.
It'll probably just be turkey, maybe a ham.
So we're looking at turkey, sweet potatoes.
You've got two so far.
That's as far as you've got.
Turkey, sweet potatoes.
I imagine there's some greenery, but maybe with sugar in.
Would there be like broccoli with sugar?
Would you do that?
Yes.
We have something called caramel green beans.
Okay, great.
It's green beans with a layer of salted caramel on it.
No, yeah, I think you are correct in that traditional Thanksgiving stuff is, right, a kind of – a layer of not good for you has been added to everything.
But, yeah, I mean I think your traditional Thanksgiving greenery would probably be green beans.
Green beans was the one at our house.
Maybe a little salad or a Brussels sprout.
I feel like I've seen a lot.
Yeah, that would be nice.
Did you have that, Matt?
We do have those, yeah.
It's just that you have only those.
I don't know why anyone would take them, of all of our culture.
They're very good when cooked properly.
Yeah, but cooked properly means cooked with little bits of bacon or something other than Brussels sprouts.
Yes. Cooking it with something that would or something other than Brussels sprouts. Yes.
Cooking it with something that would be good if the Brussels sprouts weren't in there.
I think when I hear about families, like I think my family, well, for one thing, because my parents were divorced since I was very young and I lived 3,000 miles from the rest of my family, I grew up always going to someone else's Thanksgiving in some capacity or other.
But when I hear about people's kind of longstanding family traditions, I feel like one weird function of the traditional menu stuff is it really is the last vestige of Betty Crocker cookbooks from 1958.
Like those like marshmallow based vegetable dishes and stuff.
Like, somebody's like, well, we gotta have that.
Like, we got to have that.
And I'm like, well, okay.
Okay.
Okay.
And they'll just be like, yeah, well, we put chocolate chip cookie,
we put a layer of chocolate chip cookie dough over the green beans. It's called a green bean casserole.
We gently lift up the dough.
We throw the beans away.
We replace them with Cool Whip.
Yeah.
We are a...
We eat a little early.
We do a movie.
The movie is usually a little bit of a
tough thing to negotiate.
You know, you have a mom, sister, stepdad, maybe a couple of friends from, you know, somewhere.
And I'm just and I always think about that movie about a week in advance.
I'm always kind of like planning my suggestion.
I'm like, I need to make a case for the one I want to see, because if not, I mean, not now.
But there was a time when I'm like, fuck, if I don't do a good job with this, I'm just going to end up at a Twilight.
I'm just going to end up at a Twilight and there's nothing I can do about it.
I don't know if there is an equivalent of a Twilight out now, but if there's a good chance that if I don't hit the ground running on this movie suggestion, I'm going to end up at whatever that is.
I don't think we would do Fifty Shades of Grey, but I mean, if I don't have a good enough
suggestion, it might happen.
It might happen.
I can't imagine a worse torture than to be trapped in that room with your mom.
Sure, yeah.
While she's swooning.
Yeah.
And I'm just, I'm racking my brain.
I'm like, what Thanksgiving movie can I stump for?
And I'm like, fuck, is that Emma Stone tennis movie out of theaters?
That's perfect.
That's fucking Emma Stone tennis movie is just out of theaters, and it would be such a good, like, middle of the road.
Everyone can enjoy this.
It's a little classy for the people who want something to be a little classy.
I'll probably like it.
It's not
based off a ya series anyway i've gone to a number of for thanksgiving uh thanksgivings
with my wife and her relatives and uh as a general rule i get along royally with all of
my wife's family um And they're all awesome.
And so like that particular part of it, like the part where you're like, oh, I met my in-laws, has never been an issue for me.
However, they're, despite living, you know, 15 miles from where I grew up or whatever, culturally very distant.
And one of the main things that they like to do on Thanksgiving is exercise.
Oh, yeah.
Squat thrusts.
That's not normal, is it?
Even John Luke
knows that's not appropriate.
We went one time
to a running
event in the morning
before Thanksgiving. A turkey trot.
Yeah, that's a thing that has a name. running event in the morning before Thanksgiving. A turkey trot. Yeah.
I mean, that's a thing that has a name.
Well, I'll tell turkey trots across this great nation something.
Stick it up your ass, turkey trots.
Oh, boy.
That's the last thing I wanted.
Stick it up your ass with cornbread.
They're like, you can walk if you want to.
I'm like, that's not the issue here.
It's not that I, I mean, I can't run that long, but that's not my objection.
To be clear, there's no way I could run that long. So I'm definitely walking.
No, it's a fun run.
We're looking at probably a 5K.
But were you expected to participate or just walk?
I was, yes.
No, I was absolutely.
Oh, I'm so sorry.
I was registered.
I got a t-shirt with a big cartoon of a turkey in running shoes.
Oh, that sounds cute.
They don't usually wear shoes.
Okay.
All right.
I have a friend who I was, I had a little coffee this morning with a buddy who works
at Trader Joe's.
Oh, yeah.
And, you know, she was telling me all about Trader Joe's around Thanksgiving.
Big time for them. Do you get Trader Joe's? It's a kind of a- Absolutely not, no. And she was telling me all about Trader Joe's around Thanksgiving. Big time for them.
Do you get Trader Joe's?
It's a kind of a-
Absolutely not, no.
Okay.
This is a great grocery chain that refuses to sponsor our program.
Yeah, despite us talking about them.
Many years.
Certainly a lot in the early days.
Yeah.
It's a nice grocery chain.
They have all their own branded stuff, so you don't see brands.
I think in certain places, it's like where hipp hippies would shop but it's a little more normalized.
Thank you very much.
I think I understand that very well now.
Yeah.
There's a lot of specialty foods but very reasonably priced.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's what I – that's what I imagined.
And she said that this one year they had these turkey stickers for all the employees to wear.
Instead of saying gobble gobble, they said gobble gobble.
And she's like, I know it was a typo.
I know it was a typo.
They said that it wasn't.
And then the next year they had more gobble gobble stickers printed up.
And so everyone was wearing these gobble gobble stickers.
And then she's like
and this year finally they stopped getting them someone just and she's like we all missed the
gobble gobble stickers very close to gobbles yeah oh yeah yeah maybe that's why don't play with
those vowel sounds don't see yeah like god damn it these say gobbles they're supposed to say garing
yeah don't don't have any seasonal stickers that remind someone of a particular Nazi.
I think it's a good rule of thumb.
Or generic.
Or generic.
I would love to.
I want to go to the movies.
Always.
I always want to go to the movies my dad will go
literally when my grandmother
was on her deathbed
may she rest in peace
when my grandmother was on her deathbed
my dad was there and spent a lot of time with her
I want to be clear
and my wife and I were there with her
and she said where did Lee go
is my father's name
I said oh I think he snuck out and went to a movie and she said, where did Lee go? That's my father's name. I said, oh, I think he snuck out and went to a movie.
And she said, yes, he does love to go to the movies.
And it was like the most generous and perceptive thing
she'd ever said in her life towards my father.
And like, yeah, like my dad would go to the movies
in any circumstance.
My wife's family, I don't think they even, I think that you could pick between my sister-in-law, my mother-in-law, and my father-in-law.
My brother-in-law might be different.
But between the lot of them, I don't think they could name their favorite movie.
I think they would have a hard time naming a movie they've watched a lot.
I would say that between people is probably the hardest circumstance is to name a favorite movie.
That's true.
That's true, yeah.
No, they don't have,
I would suggest
they could each pick their own
if they'd like.
But their idea,
they like,
their idea of going to a movie
is to enter something
called nature
and walk in it.
Sure, sure.
Which is repellent to me.
Mm-hmm.
Just sickening.
The plot's very poor.
Yeah, it is.
It's a boy! Third act, third act problems, I think they say. The plot's very poor. Yeah, it is. It's a boy!
Third act problems, I think they say.
It's like, you know,
did you see that movie
or hear about that movie, The Butterfly Effect
with Ashton Kutcher?
Oh, yeah.
It sounds like it's about nature.
Going into nature.
You think it's just going to be butterflies and Ashton Kutcher
explaining, you know, their mating habits and life cycle.
Here's the thing.
It's a fascinating film.
It's a ton of fun.
Going into nature is like the butterfly effect if there was no effect.
Right.
Just butterflies.
There's just a butterfly.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Sounds like a snooze.
Flip, flap, flop, the end.
Yeah.
You know?
Give me a break.
I'm ready to-
I think the flop of that, that's a butterfly at least dying, isn't it?
That is.
So there is a little bit of arc to it.
So you get to see kind of their whole life cycle play out.
That's interesting.
I'm hoping to watch some – I'm having Thanksgiving at my cabin this year.
My mom is going to come down.
And my fingers are crossed that I will get to watch a few films on VHS.
That's what I aspire to.
Sure.
My kids have been really into watching Flight of the Navigator lately.
Oh, yeah.
That's a – yes.
Oh, you –
John Luke.
It's a reverence I understand.
I'm not sure I've seen that.
You made a gif-worthy reaction.
That's like when Bay mentions Flight of the Navigator
and it's Jean-Luc going,
I recorded that off the TV.
And when Bae says she eats the booty.
Go ahead.
I can't remember it,
but I remember the feeling.
Right.
I remember being scared by it as a kid.
You know, I'll say this
for Flight of the Navigator.
I assumed,
I also loved it as a kid,
and I assumed
that it would be terrible.
No, it's not that terrible.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's a perfectly
place that got
Pee Wee Herman's in it.
Oh, okay.
The spaceship
is played by Pee Wee Herman.
Oh.
I remember a scene
where Sarah Jessica Parker
explains Twisted Sister
to the kid.
Yeah, that sounds right.
Yeah.
Motley Crue?
That seems right.
There's an extended.
The movie opens with, and I don't think that I'm exaggerating, 10 minutes of dog frisbee.
Cool.
Yeah.
10 minutes of dog frisbee.
And I think they had just invented dog frisbee.
Sure.
And so if I had just, it's sort of like how that one James Bond movie opened with that extended parkour sequence.
Sure, yeah.
Just like whatever is hot.
Yeah, someone had just heard about parkour and they're like, we should put this in our James Bond movie.
This will be a good opener.
I don't know if you guys have made it to Justice League yet, but the first ten minutes is just The Flash playing with fidget spinners.
It looks – it's really cool.
But you could tell they were like,
all right, what are the kids into?
Yeah.
But I think, I don't know what a family movie
that I want to watch with my children is.
Most family movies are bad.
But I do want to just like,
oh, I just want to watch some VHSs.
You could probably snag some early Pixar's.
Yeah.
Some Toy Story's
Bugs Life's.
Those are,
those,
I do have those.
They've been watched
so many times.
Those are wonderful movies.
Especially Toy Story,
Toy Story 2,
which we have both of.
Those are both fantastic.
We actually,
I recently got,
I got Finding Nemo recently.
On VHS.
On VHS.
I think that must be one of the last VHSs there
on the old Pixar.
But yeah, those are wonderful,
but we've just seen them too many times.
We saw a movie called Fly Away Home
with Jeff Daniels.
Okay.
That was quite good.
Yeah?
Yeah. I mean, you
know, it's not like, it's just
like nice, you know. Have I misremembered
or is it about geese? Yeah, exactly.
It's about a dad who's
a sad dad who's
an inventor and his daughter
who's an Anapaquin.
Who's an Anapaquin?
An Anapaquin type. Sorry, excuse
me, an Anapaquin. An Anapaquin type. Sorry. Excuse me. An Anapaquin.
An Anapaquin.
And they teach some geese to migrate by building a giant flying bird.
That sounds nice.
It is really nice.
It is a lovely little film.
It sounds very Canadian.
Now, I'll tell you this.
I know what you're thinking.
Jesse, isn't Dr. Dolittle good? I remember that being good
from childhood. No, that is a terrible
movie. Are you talking about the Eddie Murphy one or the original?
The original. Yeah. Also, Chitty Chitty
Bang Bang is just a
snooze. Oh, it's
so boring.
I loved it so much. I think I just liked
the idea of a flying car and that was enough
to take me through this three-hour movie.
Yeah.
Most old movies only have one thing that happened.
Yeah.
We're very spoiled now.
So many things happen in movies.
Well, there was an intermission also.
Sure.
Right.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I just—
Or you went to the lobby and bought a fried egg or something.
Yeah.
I mean, I saw Thor recently.
I think you could make an argument that's six movies in a row.
I was watching Thor,
and there's a
part, you know, there's the big battle at the
end, and
it cuts to
the Hulk fighting a
dog in a river, and I'm like,
oh, I forgot that was happening.
Just somewhere, oh,
in between all this other shit, the Hulk is fighting a giant dog.
So much stuff happens in movies now.
They're so chocked with stuff.
Yeah.
At least Thor had those funny parts.
Yeah.
I like our, you know what?
I think I like our modern stuff-filled movies.
Really?
Yeah.
In general.
I get a little bored, but I did really like how Thor had all the – I felt like I had – I don't think I – I feel like I had never seen one of those movies where I had actually thought the funny parts were funny.
You know, not that I thought the funny parts were garbage or something.
They're more just like a – like, yeah, we said a fun thing.
You like this guy who's saying stuff, right?
Yeah.
Whereas like when I was watching Thor, a number of times I like laughed loudly.
Yeah.
I thought it was great fun.
You know what movie I would like to watch?
If you were going to narrow Thor down to one movie, it's just when Jeff Goldblum is projected in 3D on the front of that giant building and he's just making – he's finished talking but he's still gesticulating.
He's doing kind of like a Balinese dance of gesticulations.
I was talking to somebody about that and they're like, oh, like Jeff Goldblum was doing that weird character.
And I'm like, I don't think he was.
I think maybe he didn't know he was in a movie.
That could just be someone secretly filming Jeff Goldblum
and then CGI-ing the world around him.
Yeah, I agree completely.
Yeah.
I had, honestly, like, and I'm going to, you know,
I don't want to upset people,
but there was a part of me that had gotten to the point
where I was like, is, you know, like,
people too into Jeff Goldblum because he can't be this great.
I like Jeff Goldblum too, but I like Steve Buscemi.
I like all weird character actors.
I think they're great.
It's not that I have a problem with them.
I like Michael Keaton.
I think I like all these guys, but I don't know if he needs to be this. And then then i saw that and i was like i guess jeff goldblum's the greatest person in world history i don't know uh uh this is this will be a little this will this is a little podcast
crossover yeah um i saw our buddy elliot calen from the flop house oh our friend elliot calen
from the smash hit podcast the flop house huh and he uh I was telling, I told him that thing about Thor.
I'm like, oh, yeah, I was watching it.
And then, you know, the Hulk's fighting that dog and you forget that it's happening.
And then he corrected me and told me the dog's name.
It's great.
Fucking best day of my life.
I like that that dog just looks like.
Elliot's a guy who knows that stuff.
He's a guy who will know the name of the dog the Hulk is fighting
even if they didn't
say it in the movie
thank you
thank you for
filling me in
on all these
American references
the dog in Thor
is like
as realistic
look
there's a giant
dog in Thor
I cannot remember
this giant dog
let's get so much
other stuff
happening in the movie
it goes up and down
the rainbow bridge
it fights
do you have three heads
no one head just the one one head it's the dog sidekick It goes up and down the Rainbow Bridge. It fights. Did he have three heads?
No, one head.
Just the one.
One head.
It's the dog sidekick of the bad guy, right?
The bad lady.
Yes.
Anyway, this dog, first of all.
I can't remember the dog.
Do you remember the movie Willow?
Oh, yeah, sure. This dog is as convincing as a giant dog as those little tiny guys were as tiny guys in Willow.
I feel like they just shot a dog on a green screen and said, you know, we don't really need to use all that technology we've got.
Let's just shoot it from below and stretch it out by hand.
It would be good if you heard its thoughts like in Marriage with Children, wouldn't it?
John Luke Roberts. Kind of a mopey voice. Yeah It'd be good if you heard its thoughts Like in Marriage with Children Wouldn't it? Oh
John Luke Roberts
Kind of a mopey voice
Laying in the cut
We'll be back in just a second
On Jordan, Jesse, go
It's Jordan, Jesse, go I'm Jesse Thorne la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, Ooh, a coach place. Does that mean it's affordable? It means it's affordable. The Away bags and accessories make for the perfect gift with their lifetime guarantee and 100-day free trial.
Jesse, I have myself. Do you know I have an Away bag?
I did not know that you got an Away bag.
I got an Away bag.
And you're a road warrior, Jordan.
Sure.
I mean, you were flying on short notice a million places for years and years and years and years in your old TV job.
And you're an avid traveler now.
Sure. And the Away Bag is great because it is the perfect size for the trip that's not that long.
Like if you're going for a couple of days, this Away Bag is terrific. And it rolls so smoothly.
I'm not proud to admit this.
Yeah.
But you have to amuse yourself when you live alone.
Yeah. I had my Away Bag and I was testing the wheels. Yeah. But you have to amuse yourself when you live alone.
Yeah.
I had my Away bag and I was testing the wheels.
Yeah.
And they were smooth.
Yeah.
And they were so smooth that I could do a little ballet around the living room dancing with my Away bag as my partner. Oh, Away bag's balletic.
It takes corners.
It stops. It stops.
It starts.
It's so smooth, so much smoother than other suitcases I've had.
So if you like to roll it around, get that away bag.
Did you know that they also charge USB devices?
God, that's so convenient.
So often I cannot find a place to charge my stuff while I'm traveling.
Yeah.
Let's say you're in Abu Dhabi.
Yeah, for instance.
And you're, I don't know where the USB plugs are in Abu Dhabi.
I hardly know where they are in my own home, Jean-Luc.
A single charge of the Away Carry-On will charge your iPhone five times.
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If you're going somewhere during the holidays, get yourself an Away bag.
If you want to get on the Jumbotron for Jordan Jesse Go, it's MaximumFun.org slash Jumbotron.
We'll share your personal or business message.
And I will mention to Jordan Jesse Go listeners that we still have a free shipping code for the Put This On Shop.
This is the shopping-est time of year.
This is the gifting-est time of year. And so at the Put This On Shop, which is my very own
vintage clothing,
home goods,
accessories,
and gift items shop,
we have put together
lists of gifts
at various price levels,
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and under $100.
It basically guarantees
that you will find something
you love,
the perfect gift
at the Put This On Shop.
We also have a section of gifts for her. In perfect gift at the Put This On Shop. We also have a section of gifts for her.
In case you think the Put This On Shop is just for dude stuff,
well, you are sorely mistaken, you asshole.
You fucking misogynist asshole.
All right, all right.
Leave the straw man alone.
Okay.
Go to PutThisOnShop.com,
and you can use the code TUPPIES for all my tuppies to get free
shipping on almost everything in the entire shop. It's putthisonshop.com and the code is Tuppies.
We'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jesse, go. Love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, I've got a nickname. Yeah. He sure does, folks. Does he ever. He sure does, folks.
John Luke, you have been writing on international waters for a few months now.
Yes.
The premise of international waters is a clash between societies.
If you can call them that.
Yes.
What have you learned about American popular culture from your colleague, Riley Silverman, or from working on the show that you did not previously know?
Well, the main thing is you guys take much, much less interest in our culture than the other way around.
That's been a real eye-opener.
That's been humbling.
Yeah.
Yeah, I was just listening to Stop Podcasting Yourself today.
Shout out to our friends in Stop Podcasting Yourself.
And they started talking
about it. Once in a while, they'll
talk about Canadian rock bands,
which are very popular in Canada,
I guess. Sure. And
I don't think we even still have rock bands,
do we? Yeah, no. We have
Imagine Dragons.
They're kind of rock adjacent.
They have a guy with a guitar that's kind of in the corner.
Yeah.
Mostly I think it's just still Michael Stipe or whatever.
But yeah, like they started talking about Canadian rock bands and I thought, you know,
I bet Dave and Graham know at least something about all of my cultural reference points.
And I don't know or care about this at all.
Like, yeah, I think isn't that Robbie Williams is a famous English person, right?
Yes.
Didn't he move to America just because he just wanted to live somewhere where he could be rich but not famous?
Very possibly.
Yeah. And more UFOs.
I thought he tried to break America and it didn't quite work.
There's a question about Robbie Williams in the upcoming episode of International War.
Spoiler alert.
By which I mean in January.
What is a British thing that we need to get on right now?
What's a British thing that you're like, hey, Americans, get a load of this.
Like I watched this television show
on Netflix, Detectorists.
I thought,
this is a nice show.
Nobody told me about this.
Yeah, it's very good.
What else?
I watched Toast of London
and thought that was pretty funny.
Yeah, that's fun, isn't it?
What's that?
It's a Matt Berry show, right?
Fleabag?
Have you watched Fleabag?
Oh yeah, we got Fleabag.
I watched a couple Fleabags
and thought it was great.
Fleabag's pretty intense.
Yeah, yeah.
Very funny episode in a retreat.
Does Toast of London include, does Matt Berry act like a normal human being in it?
No, it takes place in a crazy cartoon world.
Got it.
It's very funny.
Got it.
Yeah, he does Matt Berry.
Yeah, got it.
Matt Berry's around.
Yeah.
What's a good thing, though?
A good thing?
I think we've said them all.
We've not got much money in our entertainment industry.
That's really, we've made three things in the last 10 years.
Fair enough.
That's not bad.
I'm sure I can think of things.
That's not bad.
How about we do this?
We take some calls.
Yeah.
And we reserve a little time for a British thing plug at the end.
Do you realize we've plugged more british things than john lucas
well detectorist is very nice surprisingly emotional yeah surprisingly emotionally
credible i found myself moved by it when something momentous happens to you like you're
uh moved by a sitcom created by uh the other guy from the office and not the other guy from The Office.
Not the other guy from The Office.
That'd be Stephen Merchant, right?
The other, other guy.
Mackenzie Crook.
Mackenzie Crook. Oh, yeah, sure.
From Pirates of the Caribbean.
Sure, yeah.
We ask you to call us at 206-984-4FUN for our segment, Momentous Occasions.
Let's find out what momentous has happened to you.
Hi, this is David from Dallas, Texas.
I'm calling with a momentous occasion.
Can you pause it for a second, Brian? I just want to say that I felt like when David from Dallas hit the line, you know, when he heard that beep and started talking, he hit it with such a sincere warmth that my cockles are red hot right now.
He is not neglecting the cockles.
No. My cockles are sizzling right now. He is not neglecting the cockles. No.
My cockles are sizzling right now.
Oh, they are, you know, dunk them in habanero peppers.
They wouldn't get any hotter, my cockles right now,
because they've been so warmed.
Let's hope he keeps it going.
By David from Dallas, Texas.
That's America, baby.
We love people.
We love saying hi.
We love shaking hands.
It may be insincere, but it certainly leaves you happy.
Absolutely.
That's our new t-shirt.
It's our iTunes description.
Anyway.
Go back to the beginning.
I need to feel it again.
Hi, this is David.
Hi, David.
I'm calling with a momentous occasion.
I'm at a park near home and just hanging out, normal day.
There's a pretty large birthday party.
And just hanging out, normal day.
There's a pretty large birthday party.
But off in the distance, over off by the baseball field, is a gentleman practicing his whips.
That's right.
He's got one whip in each hand, and he's cracking them as loudly as he possibly can, doing his tricks with them.
So, thought you guys might be interested to know that.
Thanks.
Fucking dope.
A whippist.
Whipper.
You think that's what they call it? I believe they're called. Thanks. Fucking dope. A whippist. Whipper. You think that's what they call it?
I believe they're called.
Yeah.
He's doing whippets
and whipping in the park.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's a cool
thing to be into,
you know?
How do you think
he's whipping?
Probably whipping it good.
It's not too late.
Probably seems like
the middle of the afternoon.
Yeah.
It's not too late. I was going to say he's whipping it well and of course that's not the words. It probably seems like the middle of the afternoon. Yeah.
It's not too late.
I was going to say, he's whipping it well.
And of course, that's not the words.
Although there might have been a UK edit.
Yeah, yeah.
Hard to say.
Whip it well.
Whip it really well.
When a quandary comes along, we ask that you whip it.
Whip it well. We ask that you whip it. We ask that you whip it. Whip it well.
We ask that you whip it.
We ask that you whip it.
I would love to see a guy whipping in the park.
Two hands, too.
Double whips.
Double whips.
What do you think he could do with a whip?
If you're good at whipping, what do you think you could do with that thing?
I mean, bottle off somebody's head.
You know, apple off somebody's head.
Right.
Whipping something off a head.
Right.
I think that's like the ultimate whip trick, I think.
I don't think it's not possible, is it?
But they do do.
And you see it in made up things.
Yes.
Wrapping the whip around something.
Oh, yeah.
And then yanking it toward you. Yeah, or pulling it.
Yeah.
That does not seem like that could happen.
Well, how would you get it?
I can see you whip it and it wraps.
You'll whip and wrap.
And you swing.
But I feel like when you get to the end of the swing, you just swing back because it's still wrapped.
And then you kind of pendulum into the middle and eventually it unwraps and you fall to your death.
You need a series of very sticky whips.
Got it.
Oh, the sticky whip.
You swing, you let go.
Is this what in England they call a sticky whippet?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Got it.
So maybe that's why he's double whipping.
Yeah.
I mean, maybe that's, yeah, I guess maybe that's part of Indiana Jones that we didn't see is him, like, applying a glue stick to the whips before he goes out treasure hunting.
It's best to use the kind that's purple because then you can tell where you've already put glue.
Of course, yeah.
That's my recommendation to Indiana Jones.
So you have double glue in your whips.
Do you think these were standard whips or a braided whip?
What now?
Yeah.
You can braid a whip?
Yeah, I think a whip could be braided.
It has multiple little
tentacles at the end.
I was envisioning a spike whip.
Oh, I like that.
Anyway, that's easier to catch on things because the spikes
can bury themselves in things.
Flesh, trees,
you know. You know spikes, man.
They're always getting somewhere.
Can I tell you frankly? Please.
I like a guy that goes out in the park and does a thing.
In the middle of a clearing?
Like in the middle of a clearing?
Like I don't want it to be traumatic to children.
No, right.
But other than that, I mean like a guy with a model rocket?
There is more of a – now you mention it.
There is an inherent threat in a guy with whips
as opposed to a guy with pretty much anything else like if he decides to start whipping people
yeah yeah spoken like a guy who i i grew up in a tough urban neighborhood i've been robbed at
rocket point sure okay yeah get one of those etzels or whatever. Oh, yeah. Put an eye out. Brand of Etzel.
I don't know.
My daughter got one of these things where, or I got at the thrift store, one of these things where you connect a hose to a two-liter soda bottle, and then you pump it full of air, and then it goes.
It's fucking great.
Oh, totally.
That shit's fucking tremendous.
Mm-hmm. It's fucking great. Oh, totally. That shit's fucking tremendous. I don't even, there's a guy who flies a drone off the hill near my house, and it makes a cacophonous noise.
It terrifies my pets.
And I think he's just trying to see me naked or whatever.
Sure.
Like, I can't think of a good reason for him to be doing this.
He has the podcast version of Mr. Skin.
Like, I can't think of a good reason for him to be doing this.
He has the podcast version of Mr. Skin.
But, like, I can't blame him because I think, yeah, I'd love to be up there on that hill fucking flying a thing off of it. That seems great.
Drone him around.
You see a guy with a trick kite, you know, with two handles and doing swoops?
You know what I think the ultimate is?
A guy who's doing disco roller skating.
Yeah, that's really good.
I, for a while, had a morning hike that I did every morning
and would always pass the same old man
brushing the same long-haired cat at a picnic table.
Yeah.
It was really good.
Yeah, that's great.
I don't know how the cat got out there.
You know, I think the answer is this Thanksgiving, instead of just going to a movie, get out there in nature.
Get out there in nature.
Now, please, go see the Emma Stone tennis movie.
Tell me how it is.
I bet it's pretty good.
Let's take our next call.
Hey, Jordan, Jesse, this is Arthur.
I just got out of the psych ward over the weekend.
I met a lot of really nice people, and I got my mind right.
And the hardest part about being in there was not having podcasts to listen to.
So I'm glad I'm on the outside.
I'm glad I'm feeling better, and I'm glad I get to listen to you guys.
Love the show.
Thanks.
Arthur, that might be generous of you to say that was the hardest part of being in the psych ward.
Sure, yeah.
And you also, you know, there's other challenges related to being in the psych ward.
I imagine I've never been, but.
Congratulations to you, sir.
Mm-hmm.
Congratulations to Arthur.
Nothing wrong with going to the psych ward when you need to get a little tune up.
Get in there.
Yeah, you're headed the wrong direction.
Mm-hmm.
You're not driving your boat. Get in there in Yeah. You're headed the wrong direction. You're not driving your boat.
Get in there in that psych ward.
Can I just on a quibble?
Yes.
Can you drive a boat?
Yeah.
Sure.
Like will you sail a boat?
Yeah.
Sorry.
I should correct myself.
For your benefit because you're British.
Thank you.
correct myself, for your benefit because you're British.
Thank you.
In America,
a boat is what you would call a lorry.
Ah, right.
Sorry. You can then
drive a boat. Maybe the distinction is how the
boat is powered. So you probably sail
a sailboat, but if a boat is a
motorboat, then you probably drive it.
I'm driving one right now. No, you're not.
I'm showing you how I would drive one.
No, you're not driving a boat. I'm driving a boat right now.
That would be reckless. You're
turning the steering wheel like a
Alright.
Alright, yes, that's what it is. Look at me. I'm driving a boat.
Oh, there's a water skier behind me.
Hang on. Wait, wait, wait.
Why is there a water skier behind a lorry?
Yeah.
He's probably got some roller skates or something.
Yeah.
Congratulations to this psych ward dude.
I think anybody, you know, the psych ward can be tough,
especially because it comes in when you're in your toughest parts of your life.
Yes.
parts of your life.
Yes.
And I am proud of anybody who goes through that experience and comes out feeling better. That is an awesome thing that you have done for yourself and your family and people who
love you.
Yeah, totally.
And congrats on not getting thrown in that Arkham Asylum.
Jeez.
I know.
Have you seen this place?
This place seems like trouble.
To be honest, it seems like you also get out of Arkham Asylum very easily.
Yeah, that's true.
Yeah.
To be fair.
They need something to happen.
To be fair.
Yeah, you know.
Pretty easy to break out.
We'll be back in just a second on Jordan and Jessica.
We'll be back in just a second on Jordan and Jessica.
La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, to turn a humble idea into an awesome movie. Thrill as we weave the tragic tale of Jar Jar,
a Star Wars story.
We're going to double down on everything that made the prequels great.
Jar Jar, Trade Federation, Politics.
Gasp as we assemble a pantheon of heroes
for the Kellogg's Cinematic Universe.
We could get rid of Snap, Crackle, Pop.
I wouldn't even miss them.
You're crazy.
They'd die in the second act.
Oh, come on.
And join us as we make fun of Matt
as he struggles to name a single beyonce
song well yeah put a finger on it sure she wants to be beyonce put a finger on it beyonce is the
famous song will we break the story or will the story break us find out by joining us in the
writer's room every thursday on maximumfun.org or wherever you get your podcasts
well La, la, la, la, la, la. Well, hoopity-dop-dop, scoopity-deek-dop,
dee-be-dee-da-be-dee-do-be-dee-da-be-dee-doop.
Oop-a-doo-doo-doo, da-ba-ba-dee-dee-dee,
da-doo-ga-doo-ga-doo-ba-da.
Woop-a-dee-doo-doo, a-ra-ba-dee-hey-hey,
whoop-a-dee-ha, it's a-ba-ba-doo, baby.
Doo-ba-doo-doo-doo, ba-dee-ga-da-da-da, da-doo-ga-doo-ga-a-doo, baby.
Stop podcasting yourself.
We don't even know anymore.
Find it on MaximumFun.org or wherever you download your podcasts. It's Jordan, Jesse Goh.
I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart.
Jordan Morris, boy detective.
John Luke.
I've got a nickname, Roberts.
Yeah, good for you, John Luke.
Well, thank you for joining us on this week's program.
It's a pleasure.
Do you have any British television recommendations for us? Oh, what?
I didn't mean to think of them.
If only we'd given you an opportunity, John Luke.
I was talking in the mid-time and listening very well.
I'm a very good listener.
I don't really know.
I mean, Fleabag was very good.
I don't think I watch much British TV because there's so much other TV to watch.
What is Robbie Williams?
Robbie Williams was in a band called Take That.
Take That were a boy band consisting of five members until Robbie Williams left early and started a solo career.
He was, as a solo artist, tried to move away from the pop thing and become a more credible rock artist.
Didn't really do it but did write one of the – a song called Angels which in 2005 was voted the best song of the last 25 years by the British public.
Really?
Yeah.
I've literally never heard – I have heard of Robbie Williams.
I think if you heard it, you would think, oh, yeah, 2005-ish.
2005-ish.
I feel like when Robbie Williams was trying to become an American celebrity, there was talk of how he was like a self-aware, like his pop stardom was also a commentary on pop stardom or something.
Yeah, there was always an irony to it.
And he kind of had this old-fashioned like seaside entertainer vibe.
Oh, sure.
With an ironic wink.
I think Americans know exactly what you're talking about when you say seaside entertainer vibe. Do you know Butlins?
The holiday camp?
No.
No.
A lounge singer.
You mean like that.
Oh, yeah.
Sure.
Like a lounge.
Right.
Yeah, yeah.
Like the lobster from The Little Mermaid.
Actually, he's not unlike the lobster from The Little Mermaid.
Got it.
I think it's a crab.
Okay.
Is it?
No.
Is it?
But it's got such a long head.
Yeah, is it a lobster or a crab or a shrimp?
It could be a shrimp.
It might be a shrimp.
Shrimps don't have claws, mate.
We're talking about the prince, right?
Yes.
Who does The Little Mermaid marry in the end?
Is it a shrimp, a prince, or a lobster with claws?
You know what?
Crab, crab.
Here's what's important.
I don't know.
It's called Simba, right?
That's the Lion King.
No, it's the prince, the crab.
It's called Simba.
Yeah, I think so.
What movie are we...
Are we even talking
about Dumbo?
Do you...
Do you guys...
Have you guys seen
those billboards
that say
buzzed driving
is drunk driving?
Yeah, sure.
It's a popular billboard.
Do you guys think
it's funny if I said
buzzed light year
is drunk light year?
Yeah.
It's funny to me.
Yeah, thanks.
I enjoy it, Jordan.
Hinges on you having seen those billboards.
So buzzed means tipsy.
Yes, yeah.
So I think these billboards are encouraging you to like, even if you've just had a few drinks, you know, or two drinks or something and you feel a buzz, don't assume you could drive.
Buzzed driving is drunk driving.
And I will follow up by saying buzzed light year is drunk light year.
Right. Anyway. I'll tell you this, Jordan. I mean, last night I had a migraine headache
and I had taken my migraine medication, which makes me pretty spacey and loopy.
You've podcasted with me when I was that way. Sure, yeah.
And I was sitting there at dinner and I think I spent half an hour trying to come up with a joke on the premise that a jazz sommelier describes the flavor notes that aren't there.
Mm-hmm.
And I couldn't come up with anything.
But it meant something to me.
And so I feel like if it means something to you.
Yeah.
Then just speak your truth, buddy.
I will.
Thank you.
Buzzed light years, truck light years. Thank you, Jordan. Yeah. Hey, Jordan. I hear you. Thank you. Yeah. Then just speak your truth, buddy. I will. Thank you. Buzzed light years, truck light years.
Thank you, Jordan.
Yeah.
Hey, Jordan, I hear you.
Thank you.
Yeah.
I hear you and-
I'm feeling heard.
I'm feeling heard.
I hear you and I honor you.
Hmm.
Hmm.
And I honor your artist.
Hey, John Luke, cool shoes, man.
Thank you.
And I'd like to just say at this point that the sharing you've just done has been beautiful
to watch.
Thank you very much.
Thank you, John Luke.
This is something that Americans love to do is talk about and share our feelings.
Everywhere from our podcasts to our deathbeds.
Both popular places.
And what are podcasts but the deathbed of entertainment?
Deathbed of the entertainment landscape.
John Luke can, let's say, you know, whether they're American or Britons, how can people get more John Luke Roberts in their life?
Well, I have a podcast called the Tony Law Tapes
where I interview Tony Law about his time travelling
exploits, he's a Canadian comedian who lives in the UK
and
I am on Twitter
as at J Luke Roberts
and I'm
about to
perform a new one man
well in February
a week long run of a new one man show at in February, a week-long run of a new one-man show
at the Vault Festival in London called The Dead Show,
where I will perform as comedy characters
all the dead members of my family.
Oh, that's lovely.
Wow, cool.
That's beautiful.
Sort of like a comedy version of Pixar's Coco.
Sure, yeah.
I haven't seen it.
Yeah, that's fantastic.
I'm then planning to do that sort of regularly
through the rest of my life as different family members die.
Do you – and here's one follow-up question that won't mean anything to folks who can't see you.
Do you and Rob Delaney have some sort of mustache club?
Yeah.
No.
But I do have a –
Similar mustaches.
We do have similar mustaches, don't we?
Yeah.
I don't like a man who looks good in a mustache.
It bothers me.
I'm like, hey, where do you get off?
It's basically, yeah, he looks great.
Look at this John Luke Roberts over there.
Look at fucking Rob Delaney.
He looks great in his mustache.
Remember Chris Fairbanks had that mustache?
Oh, Chris Fairbanks looked fantastic.
Great.
That guy looked great in a mustache.
Hey, great stache, man.
Thank you.
It's hard because with a beard, you can always kind of pass that off as just, oh, it just happened.
Right.
People, when they see you with a mustache, know you planned it.
You've tried.
You've tried.
There's a try hard.
They know that you haven't just given up.
Yeah.
Like, I think when people see me, they think, well, that old man has stopped washing.
Pretty much.
He's just been living in the woods?
Yeah. Hard to say. I don be living in the woods. Yeah.
Hard to say.
I don't know what to say in response.
I sneak into the dorms to shower monthly.
Yeah.
Brian Sonny D. Fernandez is on the boards for this week's program.
Interrupting the program with not just now.
We let Brian laugh.
So Brian's appreciation of this show.
God bless him is sincere.
And he laughs very loudly.
And it penetrates the window in this recording studio.
At this point, I think we have been coddling Brian because he started applauding, which is not even something that
people do when they're there by
themselves like
applause is like that's a group
activity or nothing right sure
it's not a solo thing
we gotta get Brian
under control maximum
fun dot reddit dot com if you want to talk about it
on reddit the max fun group
on Facebook there are lots of local Max Fun Groups there as well.
Hashtag it JJGo on Twitter.
You can follow us on Twitter at Jesse Thorne and at Jordan underscore Morris.
If you want to do us a solid review of the show in Apple Podcasts, it helps people discover the show.
Or just tell somebody about it. Just say, hey,
wouldn't you love to hear a podcast where people you've never heard of
are talking aimlessly for over an hour?
With great guests.
Yeah, with really good guests.
Really great guests.
From foreign countries that you're unfamiliar with.
Then, yeah, please, we would love it
if you would do that.
And, again, if you're doing some Christmas shopping, put this on shop.com and use that code Tuppies.
Okay.
We'll talk to you next time on Jordan, Jessica.
Bye-bye.
Maximumfun.org.
Comedy and culture.
Artist owned.
Listener supported.
It's Jordan Jesse.
Oh, you get to introduce yourself
and say a dumb nickname too.
Oh.
Can you save that
for our best of real time?
That could be our post credits
for this.