Kill James Bond! - Episode 12.5: Cars 2 [UNLOCKED]

Episode Date: July 27, 2021

KJB Presents: The Banquet of Forgiveness In this special Unlocked Bonus episode, we discuss Cars 2. Join us as we slowly go completely insane considering the far-reaching ramifications about the lore of the Cars universe that literally every line of this movie offers. Who built those houses? Was there a Car crusade? What happened to the Car Princess Diana? Why the FUCK are there AMBULANCES!???   If you find this Bonus Content to be titillating, head on down to our reasonably priced Patreon at https://www.patreon.com/killjamesbond *SHIRT ALERT* We are accepting pre-orders for a new shirt design until the end of the day on August 15th, 2021 -- get it here! https://www.killjamesbond.com/store/p/kjb-presents-the-lazenby *WEB DESIGN ALERT* Tom Allen is a friend of the show (and the designer behind our website). If you need web design help, reach out to him here:  https://www.tomallen.media/   Find us at https://killjamesbond.com and https://twitter.com/killjamesbond

I can't just go into the men's room. Hello and welcome to the bonus episode of Kill James Bond that you're also getting for free on the free feed despite the fact that it's a bonus episode of kill James Bond that you're also getting for free on the free feed despite the fact that it's a bonus episode. I am Alice Callfield Kelly, an East German police trebant with one wheel falling off the back seat filled with patches. Joining me. Yeah. Yeah, go on. Yeah, it's joining you. Yeah, yeah, go on. Yeah, it's showing you. Abigail Thorn, a Jaguar E type with a very like sort of slickly waxed bodywork and Devon. Devon, Devon, what's your car sonar here? Cause I've been struggling with this, right? Not, okay.

So I have to potential answers here. I was gonna say like a really fucked up old Fordsom tractor, but then I found out that tractors in the car's universe are essentially cows. So like some sort of Chevy maybe, I'm not fairly fully sure. Anyway. like some sort of Chevy maybe, I'm not for any fully served. Anyway. I'm sorry about this one voice. No, no, it's perfect.

It was an incredibly random choice, because if it's dead, listeners, if it's dead, they're going to pick the bonus film. And they selected cars too, which was kind of a random choice because if it's dead listeners it was Devstone to pick the bonus film and they selected cars too which was like kind of a random choice because it sort of has a spy plot but it turned out to just be perfect and also like horrific. It was a little bit out of left field also. You two watched it moments before it was revealed that football was not in, coming home and I watched it the morning after we learned that football was not coming home. So all of us were already

insane. Yes. And then we watched probably the movie that has made me feel the most confused that I've seen in recent memory at the very least. So the Joker, this is a normal family film, but the Joker is also a car. This is the first Pixar film, the trivia thing that clocked Caroline Kossy told me, that did not win Best Animated Feature at the Oscars. Boy, can you tell why? Why isn't even nominated? Oh, this is the worst Pixar movie of the modern era.

I think it might be. And it might be. 39% to the next closest, 70%. No. No, no. Now, none of us have seen Cars One. No, and we're not will we? No, because we disrespect the franchise

and also you, the listener. But I feel like we should sort of set out the store here, right? To what the car's deal is, what the car's universe is. Which is, the world is cars. Like, no people, nothing like that. Only cars, but the cars are sentient. They have like personalities, they can talk, they have mouths. Also like planes and boats and trains are also sentient.

But there's no people. But like, society exists to more or less as it does in our world sort of as we will see Yeah, so you get these really haunting visuals of just a city without people where like the houses are 100% what they look like in the real world But it's just populated by cars living them and you're like there's no way you could live in that house who lives in the houses And then occasionally you'll see the inside of a plane, which is alive. There's one point where our characters get on a plane,

and like all the plane seats are like car-sized. You like drive into a little bay. So the planes must be enormous, but they're also alive. Yes, you're flying inside a plane's gut, essentially. Now, all right, fine. We got to start with a spy plot, right? It's kind of easier to describe what happens and then every now and again, just go, by the way, everyone involved in this is a car.

So we did, do you want me to like step back, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, yeah, they're sending a message to secret agent Finmak missile saying oh, there's a big secret that I've found You need to meet me at these coordinates and then we cut to Finmak missiles is voiced by Michael Kane who yeah He's like an asten Martin kind of silver. He's like a silver Spy car, but he's not like Conor yes He's Michael Kane doing doing Michael Cain voice. Yeah, so, yeah. Yeah. Which is fucking, it's just fucking great, Master. So he's on a boat, which is alive.

Yeah, and the boats talk into him. Yeah, they're driving into the sea, and then a big military boat appears who is also alive and says, fuck off. And then the nice boat has to turn around, but Finn Wittmissar latches on to the back. And anyway, he sneaks into these big oil platforms where he sees some nefarious dudes. And then we see a corpse immediately. Yes.

It's a man-gored corpse, two minutes, 29 seconds. So fat into this movie for children. They're like, oh, hey, what happened to like this guy who gave out the warning? What happened to this other other spy agent Dylan Tevo. He met with a nasty end and he was he has been cubed. He has been like compressed death by Professor Zanda who is a car with a monocle. It's a huge, a huge slander on East German engineering, right? Like, Zundab works did nothing wrong. Least of all, make kind of, make like Nazi cars, they were common anyway.

Yeah, this, so this, this is, this guy's a Zundab genus, which, yep. Oh, the doors were at the front and back instead of on the sides. And he's, he's German, nominally, but he's doing that sort of TV German, where he speaks with the perfect English accent. And occasionally just says vunderbar. Also, were those battleships fucking zunwalt class? Yeah, I think so. Yeah, like DDG 1000s. So that's cool. The US military is canonically evil. Anyway, yeah, so like Finn MacMissile sees a sort of what looks like a TV camera. That's like a secret device. Takes a bunch of photos of it and then we get the classic sort of get spotted. Hey, get

him. And all of the, all of the henchmen who are cars drive after cannot stress that enough. The, the spy car. But he has a bunch of gadgets. He can like grapple onto things. He can, the way he takes pictures is he can like flip his head like his mirrors around and zoom in with them because he's a spy car. But like at one point, he dry, he drives up a crane on this oil rig. And the crane has like a face, right? And life.

That crane is a sentient, but immobile being. The crane is, the oil platform's aren't sentient. The crane on top of them is, which all intents and purposes means that he is stuck there forever. Yes, he is imprisoned working. He's like, it's like if you locked someone on a treadmill, which is, it's just fine, that's fun.

So this was, this was the point where I was like, oh, they're just going to be straight up killing cars. But this entire movie is, it's like in universe, very violent. Yeah, the moment where Fin McMissile, fun spiker, pulls out a fucking gun and shoots a car to death in the first five minutes of this movie. I just kind of like sat fully back in my chair and just went, oh, he deployed an oil stick and one of the bad guy cars. We later find, we later establish oil as like a bodily fluid.

Essentially James Bond pisses on the floor. Well, it's also food. So they're just drinking piss all the time? James Bond deploys his like piss lick. And this bad guy car slips over the side of the platform and hits the scene screaming and shatters into pieces and it is presumably like dead as fuck. Yeah, he's fucking dead. He dies. What happens to the immortal turns into a jet ski and then a submarine and escapes. And that's our opening is and all of this big explosion in which presumably several cars are mangled

or murdered. And he escapes. He escapes with the pictures of this TV camera. And again, it looks like this makes his death. Yeah. And again, he is voiced by Michael Kane. So he's doing Michael Kane voice the whole time. And then Michael Cain doesn't try and do like a spy voice or anything. He sounds like Alfred or the guy from the Italian job, depending on how old you are. That's right. Then we get the smash cut that made me go, oh, I see. Oh, God.

Which is essentially someone saying something like, who's going to stop us now or that and it cuts to Toe Mata who is the comedy relief character from the first movie, but the protagonist of the second because that was a great choice. Great choice by everyone involved. Bucktoothed rusted uh, Bucktoothed rusted, uh, tow truck voiced by Larry the cable guy. Just talking like a country bumpkin and I was like, oh man, this is gonna be movie, isn't it? Mm-hmm. The answer we get.

We see, we see him helping out, uh, a broken down car, uh, who like breaks down all the time because, oh my, Ken, I'll always be a lemon. And he keeps trying. We see that he almost drove to the county line this time, but he broke down again. And so, so Mayatha has to come and like rescue him. So a lemon is a car that breaks down all the time

and that always needs help. That's the word that they use in universe that ends up being very important. A lemon. A lemon. We'll get to that. There's like a race called the 24 hours of lemons. Oh, really? They buy, yeah, they like do endurance racing with deliberately like bad cars for fun.

But yeah, so some other drops, drops that his lemon friend back home and finds that Lightning McQueen, protagonist of the first movie, is back in town after the events of the first movie. Probably driving around a lot. He's voiced by Owen Wilson. Being welcome to home by the population of this town, all of whom are cars. There's a fire engine. There's a sheriff who is a car. There's like a truck.

There's a big truck called Mac, which is what Lightning McQueen drives around in as sort of like he rides around in that guy's asshole, which is much like a road flair within within the body of an England fan. Lightning McQueen is carried from place to place by like driving up into the back end of Mac. And then just sort of like hanging out there. Cool. Yeah. Also, yes, like a pickfruit to a Fuma Italian.

Yes. One of some's like a little fear, and one of them is, I don't know, like a tiny little like three-wheeled car thing, fork left thing. Yeah, whenever they, whenever the makers of cars have written themselves into a gap realizing that they need someone to actually manipulate an item, they just assigned that role to a loader,

something with like fork lift arms. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That comes up all the time. So Mesa, Mesa welcomes his friend, a lightning queen back, and they have fun, but it's annoying, because Mesa is too childish. And Lightning has a girlfriend car. Lightning has a girlfriend car.

He has a girlfriend car. Who's a Porsche? She was set up in the first film, haven't looked, won't look? No, not important. She's like a lilac Porsche boxster. And he's like, no, I want to spend time with my girlfriend. And Mesa is like quite innocently like, okay, when are we going, buddy? And sort of gets his feelings hurt that his friend wants to like have time without him around.

Yeah, he wants to go on a date with the car. Yeah, so he takes her to a car restaurant. Restaurant? A car? Sort of a car restaurant. They go to a restaurant. Well, yeah. And Mesa pretends to be their waiter. They missed a great joke here

for by calling him a mater D, but you know, go off. He pretends to be their waiter in order to like hang out more with them. But while he is getting their drinks, the like, the drinks, the like car news, the exposition news network comes. Yeah, the car news on this television. And we meet a whole host of characters who are going to be, a whole host of guys, going to be relevant. So there's, there's what's his fucking name Eddie is our so my old Axelrod, so much. Yeah, of course, so my name is like this audience.

Yeah, yeah, who is build as the first car to circumnavigate the globe without GPS, which sent me down such a spiral. Yeah. So, his GPS just been a fact of these cars reality forever. The sunlight sentient. How did they like, so the world did they like so the world has never been circumnavigated before? He is this world's ferdinand Magellan. Oh satellites also sentient. Are they sentient? Is it just a say?

Are they lonely? Yeah. Is it like 1776? They're like, I got over Glasgow and they're like, oh no! Yeah, like in a geostationary orbit and they're like, fuck, I can only look at this. Yeah. The International Space Station is terrified of you, Alice. So, no, Chris, I don't exist in this or I'm a car. No, you're a car. I'm gonna shoot like a fucking spark plug at the international space station.

What is the car version of nothing? Because that's a great way. We don't know because the tape is interrupted. We don't know because the tape is interrupted. But Eddie is odd. I'm gonna continue referring to the characters Eddie is odd and she is doing, she is doing Eddie as odd voice the entire time. The character is male, but Eddie as our now user she has. And Eddie as our has invented a new kind of clean fuel

called all in oil or all in oil. And is hosting a big grand prix to show off what it can do because it's this new environmentally friendly fuel. And there's also an Italian race car there. Francesco, who is like this sort of like open-wheeled, like a GT, well, like Formula One car, I guess. Yes. And his open wheels make him hot?

Yeah, they're like having your tits out, I guess. Or like having your balls either side of like a thong or something, because like they make a great deal out of how sexy the girl cars, there's girl cars, but I'm fine. Oh, so when guys do that, it's hot, but when I do it, I'm glad from the beach. Yeah, because they have this sort of chat.

Miles Axelrod has thought of a new thing to promote all in all, which is like a world-grumpy, which apparently hasn't ever happened before, but that's fine. And Lightning McQueen is, of course, back home, he's having a rest, he's not taking part. And Francesco starts talking absolute smack on Lightning McQueen.

And as like Francesco is very Italian. Love this guy, which is a favorite character. Francesco Bernoulli. He is like in the colors of the Tricolore. He's so Italian. He's doing his best, like Italian accent. Yeah, no, I don't. I don't have the from Francesco,

but despite the football having not come home, he is my favorite car, isn't it? Yes. Easily. He's really good. He's like, I don't know the respect of this car. He only drive in this circle. And so he starts like, baiting lightning with Queen. And neither who is impersonating a waiter calls into the show to try and like fight with him. Yeah. Is easily outwitted and humiliated on national car television.

And Lightning McQueen being a gallant friend is like, he grabs the phone, who's like, I don't appreciate you, you talking to my friend that way. So I am gonna race in the international Grand Prix. And I'm gonna like, it's coming home basically. Yeah, and lightly McQueen's girlfriend who's a car called Sally. She's got like, how he lips in a match horny for Francesco. There's like a car-cucking subplot.

Like, he's like, he's so hot because of his open wheels and like, and like the McQueen gets self-conscious and he's like, but I thought he likes my fenders. There's even a bit later on where she, where she like lies to him that she doesn't actually think it's all that hot. He has open wheels. Is this, like, a friend of like sleeves? Like is this nervous is like when you get the guns out? I gotta imagine, gotta imagine. It's like wearing very short shorts as opposed to like cargo pants.

Sure, like some sort of mook. But except that on your body and you can't change them. Yeah, she sort of like pressures lightning McQueen into taking his friend, neither the comic relief character in the first movie, Mata. Mata, Mata, yeah, have we taken to Tokyo, which is where the first leg of this international vagina? By the way, world-grumpy three locations, Tokyo, Italy, England.

That's right. That is right. Well, we want to just go round it. We want to just find out how big it is. They go into the big plain's body and the big plain takes them to Tokyo. Watching like a car to Keshe's castle. Yeah. Which is great. And at that point, I was like, oh no, because one of the characters in cast Keshe's Castle had like samurai red and white face paint. And I was like, surely, surely this won't, surely they're not going to do this.

Do you want to talk to us a little bit about what goes on in, in like what do we see of Tokyo? The montage of Tokyo, death. This is the montage of Tokyo. The montage of Tokyo. Okay, so picture Tokyo in your mind as shown in any American movie. So it's like neon. And I'm rotating a Tokyo in my mind.

It's dark out. There's neon signs everywhere. You've got like a capsule hotel. You've got people buying wheels out of like a vending machine. I say people that cost. Yeah, you also pay cars for the most part They they go to they go to a sumo Yeah, I sling thing yep And they go to that car's the sumo rest as a car's kabuki right now just normal cars though as well not even like push cars and

Nothing I have a big note here in all caps that simply says car gays. Yes, they go to like a, they go to a Japanese car play and Tomayda shows up and he's dressed as a samurai too. Yep. All of the neon signs are like four cars. There's a car Zen farmer. There's some little cars who use an Italian car. He's a Piagio arpe.

I love those cars, got a little model of one on my desk to hold my hijab pins in. Three wheels. But yeah, he's wearing a sort of conical hat and he's like raking a zen garden and made sort of embarrasses himself through different situations in car Tokyo. Yeah, made as a fish out of water. Oh, yeah, this is rather odd to make sure of styles, but if he was to go entirely Japanese,

maybe made as just saying Japanese things and being like, ah, this is not what this is. It's a different thing that I'm more familiar with. Yeah, it's a series of like, Larry the cable guy bits. Yeah. So like, he tells the guy raking the zen garden that he's got all of the leaves already. Oh, we forgot something extremely important,

which is the Eddie Azard Miles Axelrod character. Yes. In circumnavigating with our GPS, which we got caught on a side side bit about. Yeah. Um, he the character, the car got lost. An idiot is playing the character that the Eddie Eddie is out the woman is playing with the car. Samar's Axel Rod. Samar's Axel Rod. He got lost and he distilled his own fuel to keep him going and after a war. So there's like a bad real thing when he like drinks his own piss to survive.

Got to be. So he swears off petrol and he has converted himself into an electric vehicle. Yeah. He's like one of the like newer sort of electric land rovers. It's very swish. Yeah, yeah. So, yeah, we get sort of Mata embarrassing himself. He like...

At the big opening party for the Grand Prix, like he keeps embarrassing lightning and lightning's like, well, you should like, we're not in radiator springs anymore. You should change yourself to like blend in here, but not in the yellow face kind of way. And yeah. No, don't put that samurai makeup on. I only go dry am I. But also Finn McMillan. That's very yellow face. Yeah, Finn McMillan was there along with new character. I'm agent shift 12. Holly shift 12 from the Tokyo station. Yeah, Finn McMussler is there, along with new character.

I'm agent shift well, Holly shift well from the Tokyo station. Holly, of course, you're shift well. Holly shift well from station T. Tokyo. Yes. And they, they, they, they understand that an American car, which, you know, means there is a United States for America, but it's all cars. And American car working for the American car CIA, because they do mention that the existence of both the CIA and the FBI.

And the car intelligence agency? Yeah. Has like photo of intelligence. Identifying like what the thing, what the sort of weird camera thing was. Oh, yeah. So the Americans have identified that the oil platform that Finn was on is sitting on top of a newly discovered,

massive oil deposit. And they also apparently have a picture of the evil boss behind the whatever it is going on. So they need to meet the American agent in order to get the picture of the big bad guy and find out who it is. But because the bad guys from the lower platform are there, Finn sends in Holly to meet the American agent instead of him because they'll recognize him. Yes. And the way that she meets him, she follows him into The way that she meets him, she follows him into the GPS tracker into the male car's toilet. Male cars.

The male cars have a toilet. The stink from the female cars. I have a toilet. What's going on to the men's, Lou? The car's house. What is a toilet? Primary sexual differences between a male and a female car. Why do the cars excrete only in a toilet primary sexual differences between a male and a female car? Why do the cars excrete only on a toilet?

Yeah, because Mata seems to leak oil on the stage, embarrassing lightning McQueen. And lightning McQueen is fully like, oh, just go clean yourself up. You're disgusting. As if he has just taken a dump on the stage. My recurring IBS nightmare, Mata just taking a dump on stage. My recurring IBS nightmare, Mesa just shits himself on stage. It's treated as if it's like piss, right? Because he's on stage with Miles Axelrod.

And Miles is like, oh, he's getting a little excited, isn't he? And it's like, is it, sorry. Sorry, what is oil? Someone tell me what oil is. It's piss, that's piss. But they were drinking oil, is it sorry? Sorry, what is oil? Someone tell me oil is piss. That's piss. But they were drinking oil early. What are they doing? Oil and they damn they dig it out of the ground. Yeah, but oil.

It's piss. They both drink and mine piss. And it's blood because we see when Finn gets shot in the opening, there's like a whisp of oil in the water that suggests that a blood and they're like, oh, he's dead. No, it's piss. They shoot him in the opening, there's like a whisper of oil in the water that's suggestive a blood. And they're like, oh, he's dead. No, piss. They shoot him in the bladder. Not okay.

It's everything. It's all piss. It's all piss. It's all piss. It's all piss. It's all piss. It's all piss. It's all piss.

It's all piss. It's all piss. It's all piss. It's all piss. It's all piss. It's all piss. It's all piss. It's all piss. It's all piss. It's all piss. It's all piss. It's all piss. who's tough and you get cornered in the bathroom by a large tuxena royal by two

Goon cars two goon cars. They're called Rem and Acer. They're a they're a AMC grim and AMC Pacer and this car is which James Bond has driven in that sort of very loosely win-toned kid coded but not in any way. They're like kind of monsters. They're like getting a boss kind of thing. And so Mata runs into the bathroom to piss, and gets into a sort of a battle of wits with a Japanese smart toilet. Which is not sentient. Or is it?

No, it's not. It's a computer. It's like a sort of AI, like a digital assistant thing for a smart toilet. It's like a half-remembered joke about Japan in the 90s. It was like, you could have lifted this from rising sun. It's a smart toilet for a car. For cars. And when when when

Mata passes in the smart toilet, it hits him with a cold bidet. So it hits him and the orifice releases. And whichever orifice that he's in the oil drain hole with with a bit of the day, a carb day, out of the undercubage somewhere, but it's not true to the oil drain. And let's, yeah, let's drink it, but it's also blood and piss. Yeah, and piss and the drink and the minor are the earth and the soil. Yes, yes, yes, and they turn it into petrol. Yes, yes. That's not the bottom of this. That's all true.

That's all true. So the two henchmen cars kidnapped the American muscle car, but before he does that, he is able to plant the photo on mate's undercarriage, which again, he sticks a piece of microfish to his asshole. Yeah, and it has the tracking device on it. Yes. The episode is that the American agent gets captured,

Mata finishes pissing question mark, leaves the bathroom, and he gets mistaken. No, not yet. Oh, right. The way he gets mistaken, the way he gets mistaken is because the GPS tracker is on him now, but before Holly Shiftwell meets him, she rolls up to the to the men's bathroom, which she, you know, she can't go into because she's not a male car, and she wouldn't pass. She doesn't have to have a male car, and so, and we hear Mata say, and when she starts giggling, prepare to be squirted.

That's why we're in a Sims 2 movie. In the, yes, yeah. It's just like this for the whole runtime. Everything they say implies so much about the wider cast universe law. No, no. Okay, no. Okay. So. Oh, so you get the way she actually notes of it, he's the American agent, right? Is because she sort of calls up Michael Cain.

And it's like, I don't know if this guy is the agent. And Michael is like, is the American? And he's like, oh, yep, no, definitely American. It's extremely. She says. And they extremely. Like Jesus. And they have a code phrase, which is. But Carmen Gia has no radiator. So which the response is, that's because it's air cooled.

Cool. Which is a hilariously fallible code phrase, which is pretty accurate to the Bond films as far as I'm aware. Yeah. Yeah. So that's just a true fact, which makes it also knows. Because he's aware. Yeah, so when she hits him with the calm and gear.

And I'm searching. I'm irradiating. Yeah. Is that a search? Is that a same? No, because they are different. No, because he takes people to the mechanics. He's an ambulance driver.

He's an ambulance. Because that's a sad thing. No, there are ambulances to the mechanics. He's an ambulance driver, but he's an ambulance. Because that's his own ambulance. No, there are ambulances in this movie, which raises a serious, serious question of what happened, what are they for and what happened in the back of those ambulances? What is an ambulance for? There aren't people who can ambulance possibly be doing it.

Why is the, what is your purpose? What is it? Who's the four? What's it in the back of you? Oil? We know that not just solid blocks, we know that the cars can contain things because like the family can contain things.

What? Why did I sit? Why? Why? What is that? What is that? I can't, I can't. Why did I see it? Why? Why? What is that? What is that? Why did I see it? Why did I see it?

What is the point of divergence from this timeline? Were there people and aren't any more or has it just been cars that were fucking time in which case? Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, So this is just because did a did a fucking meteor come down and kill trucker saw us right? I'm just doing whether dinosaurs cars But but like what we So so maybe it's just an alternate evolution thing where like instead of people Yeah, I was playing some various other Staring wheels Because behind the thing in the park, steering wheels. Don't hurt me. It's like, why are any of the things to say?

So. Okay. Hardly mistakes made for the American agent. Yeah, and this is the plot of North by North West. If you're not aware, it's a guy who doesn't know anything about spying, being increasingly mistaken for a master spying as he like stumbles through. And everybody's like, oh, you're doing such a good job

of acting. Meanwhile, he has no clue what's going on. It's North by Northwest. Yeah. And Mada thinks that, because she's like, oh, that's rendezvous tomorrow. And Mada's like, are you asking me on a date? And that's, yeah, that's rendezvous tomorrow and made us like, are you asking me on a date? And that's, yeah, that's that's that's that's that's so so.

Yeah. Um, the American, the American spy car, uh, we now see him be tortured to death. We see him be tortured to death. This man is so great. This man is restrained. Uh, and then professors end up explains to him that the camera thing that everybody's been looking at is a like heat ray. Yeah, and it meets in the MP beam that boils all in all. Yeah, and so, what? So, so it's not even that he's just restrained

because he's put on like a treadmill that's moving his back wheels to forces engine to go and they've hooked all in all up to him. So he's being force fed. Yeah. Paul in all. And then he's told by professors and and and and and and I got that and Sunwell confused and that the camera is going to make the whole in all boil now. Yeah.

And he tries to like brazen it out and he's like, ah, I can replace a cracked engine block. And then the app is like, well, yes, but when it explodes, there's going to be nothing to replace because we're gonna fucking kill you, dog. Like this is a murder that we're setting up for here. I mean, I can't say that he doesn't follow through with that one. There's no, there's no, like, do you expect me to talk moment here?

He explodes the car to death. He reveals that, yeah, pictures. And then the American agent, like, fucking, he fucking kills him like, key, he camorayna, right? Like, he, yeah, no. Torches a car intelligence agent to death. Yes. And he reveals the major is the guy that he passed the photo to. So show them what the pictures and then like they see that he like looks nervously at

the one. Which means it does establish that within within the fiction of this movie, torture works. Yeah. It does. Oh, at least the missing. Yeah, this is a picture of a person efficient way of extracting information, truthful information from a car. Absolutely. I remember when the car torture memo came down the car George Bush. Is there a car John you who signed that? Is there a car of strategic services? What's happening?

If there's a car America, there must be a car Afghanistan, which may, and if the planes, a sent, was car did car 911? Half of the planes themselves were radicalized in car 911. No, it would have to be that the planes were like taking control of from the inside by cars. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So the cockpit to the plane's brain must have been seized by... So there was a car, Muhammad Ata.

Yes, yes. Which means there was a car or some have been Latin, who was eventually, eventually killed by like Navy seal cars and buried at sea from a ship that was also sentient. Yeah, I mean, that all tracks. Okay, okay, fine. So light name and coin enters the race. Sorry, no. Because that means that one of the one of the 9.11 flights was shot down by maybe is no, the missiles aren't sentient, but that means the ascension plane was shot down by sentient car joins. Would they claim that it was forced down by the passengers, which means that other cars, but United Airlines Flight 93 was alive for sentient.

Yes. Yeah, and then like as it was being hijacked by cars, the other cars are bored. So you tried to like regain control of it and the sentient plane crashed into a field of half way. If you believe the car story. If you believe the car story, if you believe the car, 11 car mission. Yeah.

And I love and car mission very good. I think that's as far as I'm going to that. So there's this very strange scene where Lightning McQueen meets the fast one, Francesco Bernoulli. And Francesco reveals that he has on his rear some sort of taunt towards lightning. Like a cute lady. A sicker, charm, a queen. So that when he passes in, they'll see it.

Yeah, he's written this on his ass. Yeah, I wrote, I got asked tattoo because I hate you. Yeah. Yeah. What? Yes. Mata is in the pits. He's like past of the pit. Because it's time for the first race. Yes. Mata is in the pits. He's like past of the pit.

Because it's time for the first race. Yes. And so, so lightning sets off in this race with like a bunch of different cars of like different manufacturers that like each have different like nationalities, which is mostly dependent of their vibes. There's like a German touring car one called Schnell. There's like a Japanese one. There's a French rally car called Roland Delapoype or whatever. The bad guys use the EMP camera to like take out some of the races. They don't die. They just kind of flame out and crash. Yes, but they also see Mater there and they try to move in on him.

And so our two spy cars, Finn, MacMissar and Holly, shift well, have to try and rescue him. So they like hack into the like the like pick through radio. Yeah. Yes. And as they're saving him, Mater is talking to them on the radio, but it's also going through to McQueen, who like misunderstands what Mator is saying and like shifts to an outside lane, which allows Francesca to win just.

Yes, yes. So, they beat up some hench cars and Mator escapes escapes. But when he comes back to McQueen McQueen blames him, having made him lost the right for losing the race, right? And he says, like, I don't I don't want your help. I don't need your help. You know, you embarrass me. It's a classic Pixar kids movie. The two-duty dragon get on each other line. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. So the sort of conceit of the world grumpy is that the cars have to use all

and all. Oh, yeah, yeah. It's their sort of like their alternate if you're it's being proven to be good. So they have to use it, which is why that microwave gun works on just anyone they point at that. So so Mesa goes to go home.

And as he's at the airport, which has airport security, which has metal detectors, you have to take off the tires. Yeah, they take a go. Tires, which is, would mean that like another radicalized car had tried to plant a bomb in its tire, like Richard Reed. Um, and then tried to like detonate that that explosive device as a car in a plane full of cars. In order to advance a were harvest takfiri salafis. Yeah, so it naturally follows that is the calmest face mecca is the car

but a car. Carver. I mean, we know the Catholics exist because we see the Pope and be on later on. We see the Pope. We see the Pope. There is a point.

There's a point. There's a Pope who is a car. And. There's a pot of wood. There's a pot of wood. There's a pot of wood. There's a pot of wood. There's a pot of wood. There's a pot of wood. There's a pot of wood. There's a pot of wood. There's a pot of wood. There's a pot of wood. There's a pot of wood. There's a pot of wood. There's a pot of wood. There's a pot of wood. There's a pot of wood. There's a pot of wood. There's a pot of wood. There's a pot of wood. There's a pot of wood. There's a pot of wood. There's a pot of wood. There's a pot of wood. There's a pot of wood. There's a pot of wood. There's a pot of wood. There's a pot of wood. There's a pot of wood. There's a pot of wood. There's a pot of wood. There's a pot of wood. There's a pot of wood. There's a pot of wood. There's a pot of wood. There's a pot of wood. There's a pot of wood. There's a pot of wood. There's a pot of wood. There's a pot of wood. There's a pot of wood. There's a pot of wood. There's a pot of wood. There's a pot of wood. There's a pot of wood. There's a pot of wood. There's a pot of wood. There's a pot of wood. There's a pot of wood. There's a pot of wood. There's a pot of wood. There's a pot of wood. There's a pot of wood. There's a pot of wood. There's a pot of wood. There's a pot of wood. There's a pot of wood. There's a pot of wood. There's a pot of wood. There's a pot of wood. There's a pot of wood. There's a pot of wood. There's a pot of wood. There's a pot of wood. There Jesus and that car Jesus crucified they're wearing crosses so like they're crucified a car at some point They crucified a car yeah the road of fire Crucified Pontius Pilate car crucified Jesus Car for claiming He was Car the Jewish cars

The J he crucified a car. And then that car, depending on your religion, either died or was seen to die, was then taken down from the cross because we know it was cruciform, which means that a car can die from crucifixion, is buried in a, and then after three days,

like is risen as a car spirit. So there's a car papacy, which follows on that there must have been a car inquisition at some point, right? There was car torture. There was sort of, were there car crusades to your reckon? Was there a car pedophilia scandal? Was there a car's cadaver synod? Now my question, my question's a little different here, which is the Pope mobile. We see it, we see the Pope riding around the Popebeale, which has to like the sort of like lexan, like transparent walls. Now, the reason why the Pope Pope will have those is because a guy shot jump all the second has someone fried to has a car, fried to assassinate the car. I mean, we see that they have guns. Yes. We're going to go and say, yes, 100% someone tried to assassinate the car for some point.

I mean, so the movie Plains, which is also said in the cars universe, and came out in 2017, I think implies that cars worldwide too happened because they meet like very Germany and they meet an old, a lot of bomber car, plane car. Excuse me. So they meet like old, a lot of bomber car, plane car. Excuse me. So, so they meet like an ex Nazi. So they, I don't know if that's exactly how I haven't read up on this fully, but I understand for it is. What are all these Mercedes doing in South America?

So there has to have been a car Hitler. Yeah, Mercedes, obviously. Hands down, there was a car. There was a car. There was a car.ler. Yeah, I'ma say these, obviously. Hands down, there was a car hitler. There was a car, yeah. Yeah, okay. Now there's two directions I can see that you could go with this. I'm not going to take that bait, but I am going to say that if there was a car hitler, there must have been a car World War I, which means there must have been trenches.

Cars of Wilhelm the second. Full of cars driving over the top into the car. The car's on. Because we know they have guns. Yes. There was a car song, yeah, definitely. There was a car song. And the war was changed by the invention of planes. Yeah, the war lines were sentient, just sort of just sort of killing each other in the sky there.

There was a car red baron, there was a plane. So if there was a world war one, that means obviously that there must have been a car rochedooc transferred and was assassinated by car, a real open ship in. Yeah, while he was in a bigger car. Yeah. Actually, while they're still in Tokyo, while they race past the Imperial Palace, which they name as such, which means... Hang on. ...the Chrysanthemum throne, the Imperial House of Japan,

is extant. Is there an Emperor of Japan as a car? Yeah, that was a car Emperor of Japan. It was allowed to remain... ...against a car. Yeah, that was a car emperor of Japan. It was allowed to remain again. After car America, New York. Yeah, after MacArthur occupied the... Yeah, so they were... They knew cars, right?

Like they dropped two atomic bombs out of sentient planes, mine. So the Enola Gay was alive and this is what it was. Yeah. Enola Gay and Boxcar were alive. The bombs weren't, right? Because the bombs weren't. No.

The bombs weren't, but like they did kill a lot of cars. So Fin MacMessile meets later at the airport, and they get attacked by hench cars and then they escape into a jet. And Fin MacMessile still thinks that Mater is a secret agent. Yes. And that they extract this photo that Mesa has had hidden on his ass, which is a photo of a super jacked up looking engine, which is like an old British motor and it's shit. It's been heavily modified. We see a bunch of older British

wheel and parts. Also the nuts that like screws are like unusual because they're an older pattern, they're like pre-metric or pre-imperial, they're like an old sort of like British empire standard. Yeah, which which made to notice is because he's a mechanic, which helps give them a clue of what to do next. Because he's, they've really does seem like more of a surgeon thing. Yeah. If he's doing like internal like parts recognition, that seems... So, so mechanics and surgeons have got to be the same sort of a sort of thing.

Yeah. Yeah. Like a class universe. What does an ambulance do? They have to get a Paris. Don't worry about the ambulance. To see a black market engine dealer who's like he's the only guy who sells these parts. He's the Lazar of cars. But first we get a quick scene where we cut back to Tokyo and Lightning McQueen finds out that major has gone and feels bad about it. But he finds out by reading a handwritten, handwritten,

written and written. No, no, and it's quite a small piece of paper as well. No, it's large, but it's written in pencil. It's like to scale if we were cars. And it's in like, janky childish handwriting because it's made it. So he wrote it with his mouth I assume with a pencil which was invented with it because because so cars should write okay so they go to what is what is essentially like an organ harvesting like deal right like

they go the parts themselves aren't alive. And it's like, kind of understood that parts get swapped out and stuff and modified. But they're still like, these have come off of like, cars, right? Like, also, there's a really fucking weird scene where Mesa is like he like tries to like talk to a French car but her eyes and most cars eyes in fact all the machines so far are the windshield yeah they're in the windshield and they have like instead of eyebrows they have like little sunbises that come down. There's just two eyes in the windshield to, to, to, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to

to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to

to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to

to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to

to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to

to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to and Mata is like terrified and repulsed. Like you've seen the pale man, which honestly you've gotta ask what the real world equivalent of that is. Cause that's some heavy ass on the other side of the game. I think it's having eyeballs where your nipples are. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like that's some fucking like,

Cronenberg shit that they just threw in there. Well, we see cars use the headlights of stuff because like lightning between flashes one of his headlights as part of his like trademark like like celebration. Yeah, the child. That kind of thing. Does he like get a tith out?

Yeah, flashes a nip, that's part of his celebration. It's very interesting. The white of cars law? So they meet this black market parts dealer who is a reliant regal. So he sold all the parts. He did sell the parts in the photograph to a mystery buyer who he doesn't know. And then it reveals that there's a racial underclass. Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah, so let's get to the racial underclass because we've sort of been dancing around this for a while.

We mentioned lemons up top, but there are cars that are just shitty. It's just like a fact of their life. They list like you goes as the other big one and at like AMC AMC cars yeah. Ground spaces that presents you goes these are cars that are considered to be shit just sort of as a baseline fact of their existence. Yeah just inherently they're like poorly poorly designed by God. And like so you can sort of understand where they came from here, right?

There are cars in the real world that are considered to be bad because they're designed badly, right? But, but when you anthropomorphize them, that's a person. That's a human person. It's suddenly a really sinister that there are just kinds of cars

that are literally just worse. And like, it's their fault. Well, what are you've done there as you've accidentally invented car eugenics? There are car eugenics, yeah. So they take a look at the pictures of the oil platform and they find that all of the cars on the oil platform are lemons.

And apparently there's also a secret meeting of the heads of the lemon families because they're also crime families That's gonna be going on in Italy, which just so happens to be the location of the next race because we need to draw out the reveal that Eddie is out is the villain Yeah, so so we have to go She's the only other character who we've like it has been named yeah, right? It's it's a hundred like a war of conservation of characters. And they keep bringing up my eyes on what keeps having lines.

I'm like, hello, I'm still in the film. And then it's like, okay, well, you're clearly the other one. Yes. So we meet a bunch of different Italian cars. Yes. There's a bit where Luigi and the other Italian one, the old fear and the like, sort of like, forklift thing, dance with two new fear chinca-chentos, right, two new fear of 500s, which is that, because we know, we know, right, that cars have aging, right?

That's established explicitly called mileage. It's called mileage. Yeah, and they dropped a bit as they get older. Yeah, and like cars, cars ate. Now, the new Fiat 500 is. It's like a neat way of doing it. Because like, I think it's just like an old Fiat 500, right? So he's like from the 70s.

Whereas these new ones, I think Luigi is like an old Fiat 500, right? So he's like from the 70s. Whereas these new ones, they made those in 2007. So that's an underage car, first of all. Second of all, you can't just throw underage car at me. You don't know who you are. That's a child. That's, you can't.

I don't know how does that work. Children? Well, because the Italian race car says, oh, well, he's in Italy, he's at the home advantage because he grew up on these streets. I'm like, what do you mean he grew up? Yeah. He grew up. What do you mean he grew up?

He ran in. Like, yeah, no. Because obviously, more newly built and more newly designed cars are going to be younger because they don't have they can't have had the mileage. So, yeah, there's can't okay, so wait no, but like at the very least it's a problematic age gap, right? Like, there's at least 20 years in between these two cars. You could have one car that was made 20 years ago that never went anywhere, and another one that was made at the same time, but drove all over the world and has more mileage. So it can't be a time thing, it's a distance thing.

I know, but like, yeah, you're right. But one still get more likely to scale with the other because like, even if they'd like fucking circumnavigated the earth a couple of times, they wouldn't have the same mileage as like, I mean, Louis, he's like fairly like active, right, he's a mechanic, of course, is like, and he's been doing it for like,

you know, since the 70s, of course, that's 50 years, his mileage is gonna be like way up. So like, you can't dance with like a new Fiat 500, like a fucking knot. Okay, so, I hate to do this. I hate to take it in a immediate way. I don't think you do. The low-liter express sentient live. Yeah, must have been. It didn't. It didn't. It must have contained Jeffrey Aston, who was a car, and a bunch of other

newer, more recent, like, extremely new, in fact, extremely new cars. Cars. Who? And also, I don't actually think sex exists in this, because like, the cars aren't even really shown to, like, kiss at any point, like a car can't procreate. There's no fucking chance of car can procreate. It's not, like, it's not addressed how more cars get made made because it's a film for children, not for three trans idiots to talk about at length in a James Bond podcast.

But if it was made for us, I think the cars would fuck. Of course. Well, they must reproduce because they can die. Yeah, because they have to be able to reproduce because they can die. So those numbers need to... Yes, they must be coming from somewhere. And we see two old Italian cars cohabiting with each other as car and wife.

Yeah, we do. We see... Okay, so we see... Because they're Luigi's parents. That's really different. Fuck, you're right. Oh my god, I forgot they were Luigi's parents. That's set in the film. She's a mama Luigi. Oh, fuck. So mama Luigi. Oh fuck

She forced that little baby car out of her gas out of her petrol cap How New cars made Come out of the filling cat? Sorry, I talked to her views. You said something her own in this. There are families. So then must... Yes. Yeah. They can't be a factory.

Otherwise, we would have entered the factories. They have to... But like who would like... It is like... Is a car assembling arm in like one of those robots? They have to. But like who would like, it is like, is a car assembling arm in like one of those robots? Is that just like a fucking artificial inseminator in this universe? It's gotta be a life, right?

Because of course it has a great interlite. It reigns a life so the car automatic assembly arm has a track machine. So yeah, no, cause yeah, it had, that makes perfect sense. So, Mesa goes undercover. I love it. This is the setup that we've got. Mesa goes.

Carry on. I'm so sorry. Infiltrates the meeting of the crime families, slash racial underclass. The big boss, it is Eddie as I'd but the big boss skypes into the meeting as a scrambled voice and we can't see their face. Yeah, he reveals their plan, right, which is to destroy a bunch of the cars during the race. But I want you to listen to this and I want you to understand that this is the villain speaking about his plan, which is evil in a children's movie. They will finally respect us. So hold your hood time. After today, you will never

again be ashamed of who you are. The bad guys. Yeah, and that's bad. That's evil. That's bad. That's because because he kills people, question mark, but he doesn't actually, at any point, during the plan, he just causes them to flame out. That's too risky to kill anyone. No. And he kills the American agent, crushes the American agent, but that could be an overzealous underling. That's true, like to reason that's for.

Yeah, say he does, he does, he does, he very much does specifically say kill Lightning McQueen later on. Yeah, he's. He does. He does. He actually he very much does specifically say kill lightning the queen later on. He's on the phone anyway. So the idea is that they are they are going to ruin alternative fuels reputation by staging this thing where everyone has to use all the oil and then there's all the others dangerous. We can't use it. So everyone's going to go back to using oil because the the lemons they own the big oil reserve so they will be rich. Why does the world have to change? Why haven't changed exists in the cars universe? Because my facts are on, says pollution is getting worse.

Of course it's fucking is because the're all the entire population of the world is cars and boats and planes and trains or like most of which it like An all of the meals petrol or gasoline petrol or diesel Yeah, so climate change exists in the cars universe. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. It does Yes, and and they're trying to do a big oil thing where they like profit off of killing off alternative energy, which is going to like make people respect them. Yeah. Not quite energy.

Energy good. Racialized underclass bad. Is that sort of the politics? Yeah, but Racialized underclass who are also oil executives. Yes. So they're underclass because everyone calls them names, but they have all the oil and the money. And they're all heads of crime families. They're simultaneously both like reviled, despised, like incompetent, but also a shadowy network of power of, like, omnipresent, omnipotent, hidden hands.

So there's doesn't sound familiar. I didn't think it was, I thought it was weird that they wrote those, like, protocols of the elders of lemons. Yeah. Yeah. So, so, so, line in the Queen wins the race. Just, but there's a big pile of that. This movie is anti-Semitic. I'm not explaining any further, but it is.

I believe so, yeah, so Lightning McQueen wins the race, but there's a big pile up behind because one of them flames out on like a narrow bridge and they'll get them up. And going past him is a couple of ambulances. I'm not going to fucking address that. Yeah, what are you, what. Yeah, what are you for? Sension ambulances, what are they going to do when they get there? So Finland, Missile and Holy shift well and made it all get captured. And then because all in all, the reputation has been trashed,

Miles Axelrod has to appear on TV and say, well, I can't in good conscience require the racist to use all in all in the final race. And McQueen says, I'm going to use it anyway, because I trust my friends. A lot of reasons. Yeah. This is like, this was the most like, phone-in Pixar shit in the whole movie. Yeah. He goes on the TV and he's like, yeah, I didn't trust one of my friends before. But now,

if my friends say it's safe enough that I trust it. And so that bad guys this had McQueen has to die in the final race. So made during the secret agents wake up in London, which is a terrible thing to happen to London. And they're dragged into the cogs of Big Ben and they will be crushed. No, no, not Big Ben. Sorry, excuse me, big Ben, Bentley.

Bentley. Yeah, so big Bentley. Which is not a car, it's just named that. Just named that. So while mate is unconscious, he experiences a reverie where he just thinks about it being routine and wakes up. It's cool. At the moment, I realized the final race was in London.

I wrote, oh no, in big levels. Oh no. Oh no. The Queen is a queen. A car? The Queen is a car. The Queen is a car. The Prince William is a car.

It's a car, British monarchy. He caused the Queen grandmother, so again, families. I have an immediate question about a car's British monarchy. Well, okay, cars British, well, yeah, specifically about Prince William, right? That's right. Who is a car? Yes. Who killed his mum?

How does his mum want to car? His mum, he crunched his banner, was a car. Well, no, because like, she didn't like, she wasn't driving herself, and we've seen cars can be driven around in other cars because we have the Pope for that. So like, she was, she was being driven around in a larger car that was drunk Yeah, and as she was being harassed by a bunch of

paparazzi Motorbike we know for the most of I can this because where would the rider be I suppose um Yes, which is a white fiat Uno. So funny. He doesn't say anything, but like you know about the car's British monarchy, which means they have the car's star of Africa diamond. Which means there was cars alone. There's a car's British Empire.

There is a car's British Empire. They give two million OBE at the end of this, which they gave me a candy. So they did they did they did car slavery. With no, they were both forcing cars on to boat, which were also sentient to grow cars transatlantic slave trade, that was to grow sugar, which they used for by do. Yeah. And then, and then there was there was a civil war between the resulting in the formation of the United States for America. And Samuel Sharp, who was a car, not a formation. Samuel Carp said, I would rather die on your own bagalos

than live as a slave and led the Jamaican uprising, which precipitated the freeing of slaves across the British. And so there was there was a car Haitian revolution. I was just I was just thinking there was definitely a car to song over to Those are called decilene beheading other cars. I was a car decilene That was a lien easily There was there was a there has to have been a car Cuban revolution If we're all of the the countries in the same place,

the effort on Castro and Shagel Carver. Car with a big cigar in its mouth. I'm struggling with the car price monarchy, which implies the cars in the Shen Park exist, to which means there was a car with a war. Which means there were cars. Carstentration camps. In which cars were incarcerated.

There was a cars Winston Churchill. So there was a cars monitor of ribbon dropped packed. Yeah, there was a car Soviet Union, which made a bunch of those support. Yes, that's right. There's a Ugo, which means there was a car's Yugoslavia, which means there was a car, there was a car, there was a car, there's a Ugo, which means there was a car's Yugoslavia. Which means there was a car's... There was a car's Tito, there was a car's Tito. There was a car, there was a car Enver Hozia, who built a bunch of bunker cars. There was a car's fan in Bengal. So, Made in Manage is to escape and then so do Holly and Finn. It's because the bad guy's trying to zap Lightning with the microwave gun, but it doesn't work.

So they have to use Plan B, which is a bomb. And Mader escapes to warn him, but then discovers that the bomb has actually been installed in him. They wanted him to escape and go to lightning. Jokers trick. They implanted, they replaced his air filter with a bomb, which is fully, again, that is that that's something that happens in the dark night, right? You implant a bomb in somebody. I think if someone had replaced my air filters, you're lung. You're lung. I would notice at some point.

Yeah. Well, you can run without an air filter, I guess. Yeah. So, Meta goes to one lightning, then finds that the bombers on him and tries to get away from lightning, but because lightning has learned a lesson about friendship, he starts chasing Meta, being like,

I'm not gonna let go, like I want to be with you. Meta's like, no, like, I've got a bomb, and he's like, that's right, you are the bomb. So Lightning chases him and like grabs onto Mehta's hook. He has a hook, but Mehta has rocket boosters that have been installed by the spies and he blasts off. They get surrounded by the lemon gangsters and it's established that the bomb is voice activated and can only be deactivated by the person who activated it.

Yeah, because they get professors und up in and they make him say deactivate, but it doesn't work. Yeah, actually, they can't. They capture professors and then he doesn't, he's not able to disarm the bomb. So, mate, and I'm just going to go and just go and fly into the royal box where the car queen and car prince William and Miles Axel Roddard. Yeah, and they're like instantly cut off by a bunch of black land rovers who the car queen and car Prince William and Miles Axler what are? Yeah, and they're instantly cut off by a bunch of black land rovers who are I guess the like met police Royal Sea protection cars. Got a bit.

And a bunch of like other cop cars who are wearing the like custodian helmet the like tall British police hat. Yes. Now, we've kind of seen like modifying cars is like frowned upon, right? Like generally speaking, I know.

If, if, if, Lioney is, are you born a cop? Are you, are you like it just like dynastically a cop? Like are you maids to be a cop? There are no cop cars that aren't like the cop car mod? No.

So like, either you can only be a cop if you are born somehow as that model or you're born a cop. Yeah, it's like a janissary. A sign cop of birth. Like a hereditary cop. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. Now, also further question.

What are the cop cars do? Well, it's sort of answered earlier when they meet the remind me of Gorgon Dealer, whose name is like tumble in French or some shit, because they say that he was in an impound for like 20 years, which is brutal. So the cop cars impound. They clamp your wheel. And then they put you in an impound for like 20 years. Yeah. And occasionally they put the Metropolitan Car Police put black cars in the back of police vans which are alive. And then they arrive at the police station and they have mysteriously been killed. I'm struggling for that one.

Fucking breathe. Yeah. So, Meta threatens to blow up the queen because she's like within like 20 foot of her. Yeah. With a fucking bomb strapped to his hood. And he's saying, shit, like, no, I can't stop it. And the police are like, we are going to shoot you with a gun. Yeah, they want guns. They have guns. They have guns. Yeah.

And the queen says, like, no, I want to see how this goes, which she wouldn't fucking say if there was a bomb threat. She wouldn't be like, yo, let's see what the vibe of this bomb threat, sorry. I go, mate, identify as Axelrod as the villain. Mate is like, you're the villain, you are the villain. It's your plan to make all-in-all look bad, because in fact, you are non-electric vehicle.

You are fake. I recognize the photograph of the engine, and I can tell by the nuts and your gate and your ungainly gate that you are not an electric vehicle you and it was you that leaked all of the stage until you're not me you are lying about being electric you are a gas guzzling you however you identify you cannot change the engine and you are you are a dangerous gas guzzling British car. I feel really bad that aside from being clocked as trans, he also is just like, and you pissed yourself. Yeah, that's like, come on, man. And it's you.

And if you pop the hood and we do a genital inspection on you, we'll see that you're not electric. And they fucking do. they do the asian. They do a pet for detacing. They they for sure they pop the cars hood to reveal that it's not had bombs. Because Axel riders like this is crazy like somebody stop this crazy car but then at the last second Axel road goes deactivate and the bomb deactivates because they're like call his bluff because he's not going to allow himself to be blown up. And then that's how they figure it out.

And then they forcibly expose the engine and show that this car played by a trans actress in front of the queen is revealed to be lying about its organs and leading a revolution of a racialized underclass in disguise as an eco-friendly movement. And then the car is arrested. This is based, actually. In order to, I guess, be impounded. Yeah.

In a prison form. In a men's car impound. because the cars have jet jet in that genders so that so yeah, so so So this is this is a movie in which a picks our kids movie in which the villain played by ideas are is a trans allegory who tries to lead a revolution of a oppressed underclass who tries to lead a revolution of a press under class, and is brutally put down. And a press under class who are oppressed by words and people being mean to them,

but they still have a lot of secret shadowy power, a particular control under industry. Who's like, who's like, identity is immutable because Oh my, Ken, I'll always be a lemon. Yeah, this is anti-Semitic. All right. This is like a fundamentally fascist film. I mean, I'm kind of being facetious here.

I'm not saying that I can. No, it is a little bit like, you're not gonna make a fucking YouTube video. YouTube thumbnail. Yeah, yeah. It's cause-to-fascist, but yeah. But, you know, I'm wrong, like, well, yeah. I don't think that Disney Pixar are like fascists, but like, this is fascist logic. Well, no, but yeah. I don't think that Disney picks our fascists,

but this is fascist logic. More know they are. Because race in the car universe, race racing, is a real quote unquote biological category that is politically significant and implied that it should be. And so that is just like fascism. It's not color, because they can be resprayed. So it's just like the best that lemons can, can hope for is to have a kindly friend who's

actually good who could, who can like help them out when they get into trouble. So long as they don't forget that they are lemons. So, so is your moral kids. Yeah. Some people are worse. are lemons. So here's your moral kids. Yeah, some people were just born worse. Some people were worse. De-transition. There's only one thing left. There's only one thing left, which is um, if, if, no, if you were, if you were worried that like the villain being a knight of the realm, somehow undermines the institution of monarchy and the honor system, Don't worry because as a thank you, Mater is knighted and becomes Sir Tomator and everyone calls him Sir Mater despite the fact that he would be Sir Toe. Pass the titles of nobility amendment. So he said, yeah, so that so cut. Here's a car so be

Katie. Yeah, you're right. Fuck you. Right. It's not even that. Oh Jesus Christ. So it's says the cause is knighted with an aerial. The Queen's aerial, which is part of her. Yeah, Queen like takes the aerial out and she ignites it with it. So anyone yet. So what is the party in the radiators, Prince? Is that the only two heads of state we see are the Pope and the Queen Mm-hmm, which is theocracy. Yeah, the only two heads of state we see are the ones appointed by God Which is interesting Um is God a car? No, of course not We're like cars made in God's image

And then Adam was made first and then took one of his seats. If there's a Catholic church, then that means that there was a car council of Nysia and a car council of Trent, and at some point a group of car theologians had to agree that Jesus was both fully divine and also fully car. Yes. Everything we discussed on the previous bonus episode also happened, but they were cars. There's a car name of the rose. There was a car from Cisco order. And somewhere out there, in Cars Universe, there is a podcast run by free trans cars in which we talk about the James Bond films, but they're all cut and where cars, where all cars are.

James Bond as a character has been played by several different cars. But also we are. We're in Cars 007 as a character. That's the number plate. Yeah. We are, we are where all cars. We're all, we're all cars. I'm genuinely like, and Devon looked from car to man and back to car and found they could no longer tell

the thing from them like a, a, a volkspiletz I liked, Treban. I'm I... I... Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Trans allegory and I didn't realize any of this shit happened. I actually enjoyed the spot. I think it would be funny to watch cars too. And then we watched it and we we yelled so much in the group chat that I just said, when is the earliest week and record this episode? Yeah, and it was this and it was immediately thereafter. I did enjoy the spy.

But I liked the idea that they're using. I thought it was a good idea to use a world-grown pre as a cover for like moving from location to location and it's something that is quite dramatic. And I thought, well, that's a good plot for a film that didn't melt my brain. Well, aside from me trying to do this with like YouTube thumbnail thing of like cars too, fascist,

it's not a good movie. It's not fun to watch. It's not fun. It's not insane. It's not, it's not paste well. It's like it's not funny really. It's it's not like racing names are exciting. I only left I think twice one of them was like there was a bit of a wasabi joke in the Japan segment. Wet homemade I thought it was like a kind of ice cream and just kept asking for more, which I thought was funny. And then I was with our 45 minutes.

Yeah, they were racialized. It's not it's it's there's there was a car use a car. Yeah, it's it's it wasn't heartwarming like it wasn't emotional, which like. If picks are managing to fuck that one up, I mean, you know, what can you say? I don't. Don't watch. Cars too is my is my advice to you. A lot of the vocal performances seem like they are kind of being thrown in a little, well, someone Wilson, how much are you going to get out?

I'm not not just him. As a car power as well. I meant to talk about that. Yes. Okay, so, okay, really quickly before we wrap up for you, sweetheart. Go ahead. Thank you. Thank you, Dad.

I love the queen. Okay, so, right. So, the sheriff gets the help, when they're in London, the sheriff car gets the help of the like cop cars, but Saj, who is an army jeep, he's like an old Willie's like jeep, gets the help of the British military. And they show up to help. And one of them is like a land Rover, like an army land Rover,

wearing a parachute regiment beret, like a maroon beret with a parachute regiment cat-bad. Parachute regiment. So they jump out of planes, beret like a maroon beret with a parachute regiment cat bad parachute regiment so they they jump out of planes which are alive yeah and have have the car committed war crimes in more than Ireland yes car ira it was a car black and tan 100% which was that. Oh, bloody Sunday. No apology. No reverse. Is there a car you see? Yes. There was there was a car member of parliament for the U Kips that slathered yoga on his tie during the 29th. No, it wouldn't oil would have been like, no, you can't just

all be, yeah, would be oil. Cause there's a car you keep then then did car gone of a cat? Try and become a candidate. Ha. Ha. That was, that was a car. Thank you. Cause that was, cause that was the car Hitler at some point.

So that was a car salute. Wow. What a thrilling episode of the Kill James Bond podcast. So you may well be listening to this on the free feed as part of Kill James Bond banquet of forgiveness. And if that is true, we're afraid this is the final free bonus episode you'll be receiving. Next month, we are right back to the paid ones with the Val Kilma movie The Saint coming out this time in a fortnight. You can head on down to our Patreon, that's patreon.com, slash kill James Bond to sign up for those. We have got another shirt available for pre-order on the Kill

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Kills James Bond will return in one week's time, but Octopussy, we were also deranged during the recording of that one. Kills James Bond's stars Alice, Abigail and Devon, our producer is Nate Bathay, our podcast art is by Maddie Luchanski and our website is by Tom Allen. See ya. you