Kill James Bond! - Episode 17: License to Kill

Episode Date: September 28, 2021

AUDIO NOTE: Alice's mixer reset to default before this recording and we didn't notice, but her audio track exported with mine and Abi's audio mixed in. I did the best I could but there could be some wierdness with the way Abi sounds.  Welsh Bond Returns for his second and final movie, and it's barely even a Bond Movie James's best friend Felix is maimed and widowed by a "Latin American" drugs cartel, and he vows revenge. Armed only with his wits, 5 million dollars in cash, and two pockets full of maggots, Bond embarks on a classic 80s roaring rampage of revenge! Find bonus episodes at our reasonably-priced patreon! https://www.patreon.com/killjamesbond *WEB DESIGN ALERT* Tom Allen is a friend of the show (and the designer behind our website). If you need web design help, reach out to him here:  https://www.tomallen.media/   Find us at https://killjamesbond.com and https://twitter.com/killjamesbond   This Podcast Is Dedicated To Sharkey, the classic character from the movie License to Kill

Effective immediately. Go license to kill each of them. Hello and welcome to Co. James Bond. I am Alice Gordwokali, joining me, Abigail Thorn and Devon. Hello! That is right. Talk about number two of two. How little we knew you Welsh James Bond. Our last... A last...

A James Bond was Welsh. Our last Dalton. Licensed to kill. Final Dalton. The final Dalton. Yes, it's the final Dalton. Then why this is the last Dalton is because this movie was such a flop that they just didn't make any more for six years. Yeah, incredible. I think that like the script writer, the long time script writer died. And then there was a kind of like,

production coup. And luckily, that was the last time there was a long hiatus for I to died. And then there was a kind of like, production coup. And luckily, that was the last time. There was a long hiatus in the Bond franchise. Yeah, yeah, fortunately that has not happened again. But yeah, this film is like also quite unique. Like you couldn't really do a sequel to it. Yeah, it's, despite being something that acknowledges its place in Bond Continuously and incidentally blows the James Bond as a code name shit out of the water. It's not a

Bond film. It does. I have to acknowledge that I am owned. This man is the same guy as George Layson. Yes. Yes. It's the same guy as Sean Connery. That's right. This man went to space. Yes. After he went to space, he did as Sean Connery. That's right. This man went to space. Yes After he went to space he did the events of this movie That's right, but none of the events of this movie really have anything to do with him peeing James Bond No, they're very much just made a movie and called the guy James Bond Yeah, he was in a Bond film, which is why I'd loved the fuck out of it. It's just a sort of generic A.C.'s action movie. It's McBane from The Simpsons.

Yeah. But. And the way you can tell this is that we do have a cute gadget seen later in the film, but he doesn't even use half of them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We, I mean, first of all, this is the most that Desmond Lawland had to do in a Bond film. He also later remark of all this is the most for Desmond Lohlen had to do in a bond film He also later a mic for this. Oh, yeah, I'm calling it like you good night cross like

Yeah, not under a priest I Have I have a good night cross person also we are at the sort of detail end of the Cold War here Yeah, so the it's aren't really the world We're looking at the Western imagination. Other stuff for Bond to do. Yes. What happened was Albert Rockley whipped open a newspaper and went, hey, this guy, Pablo Eskabas, making a lot of headlines right now.

Actually, didn't. Do you want to know what the original plan for this movie was? Yes, and I know it as well. But let's fucking go. They wanted to do it filming in China about golden triangle drug lords. And one of the things that they wanted to do was a motorcycle chase along the Great Wall of China. Yep. They also wanted to do a fight. Can they then do that in a later one film? I don't think so. I know they do it. No, then do that in a later bonfire? I don't think so.

I think they do it in no time to die. What? I think. Oh, no. This is why. This is why you have to purge the revisionists, because otherwise socialism was Chinese characteristics will get diluted to the point where a British sex offender

can drive a motorcycle along your, you know, most precious piece of cultural heritage. They also wanted to do a fight in the recently unearthed terracotta soldiers. I'm just picturing fucking Roger Moore Bond, like barely catching a terracotta soldier that's about to fall over and making the fucking Roger Moore face. a terracotta soldier that's about to fall over and making the fucking Roger Morpheys. The Chinese government... I mean, that would have been quenching here from production staff, issued restrictive demands such as avito ability. Johnny's government wanted to be like, no vats ridiculous.

Can't do that back for the more interesting... Chinese man, you blew up and doctor-no all those years ago. But... And the guy who got with the space laser. So they threw their hands up and went, fuck it, Florida. Fuck it. We're doing, we're doing Latin American drug lords. And so, we begin with our little sort of opening vignette, which is Felix Leiter, Bond's best friend, who was... Actually, not even that, how a note from even earlier, which is they start with a threatening version

of the Bond theme. Yeah, it's weird. Like during the fucking, the classic gun barrel opening, it's a little bit more like, oh, shit. Yeah. It's just like, come on. Anyway, sorry. So the variations of the Bond theme in this film,

one of which is Bond theme brackets Latin America. Yeah, it's great. So Bond. Bond will like win a bit of a hip motion, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So Bond's friend Felix Leiter, who is the same guy he's been for like six different people. Yeah, he was in Kravky for Doctor No Willem.

Yeah, he's getting married in Florida. To a woman, bullshit, bullshit. On you, this is gonna be fun. This is bullshit. This one is straight. Yes. Yeah, he's been gay Felix Lighters. I think he went for a little bit of a phase at one point,

but he's marrying a woman now. Felix Lighter, a hester oficester walking, is getting married. And Bond, who is, I guess, Felix is best man. Felix, and their friend Sharky, who was supposed to have been in and you super far. He's wearing a bright red shirt. Sharky is like, what are you? Yeah, it's like it's genuinely like that shit, or an enterprise. And it's like, what are you? What's your, yeah! It's like, it's genuinely like that shit

or an enterprising. It's like, all right, quick, doc. Fuck this, Spock. And Sharky, you head on down to the planet. Yeah, it's like Bummer. Bad news for Sharky, but a helicopter, a Coast Guard helicopter, lands in front of the wedding car, and they are urgently called away

to a DEA drug bust because the drug trafficker Sanchez is finally left his home and is available to be arrested as he's at like a small airfield. What he's doing, it turns out, is being extremely possessive of his girlfriend who is chasing on him. His girlfriend, Lucie Lamora, the hottest bond girl, not taking questions at this time. In a correct. I'm not incorrect. Unfortunately, that is two to one. And also there's several things that have to happen here. First of all, he has the guy who is cucking him killed. But he hasn't killed in a weird way. Yeah, how does he know? Well, he says to Lube, what did he promise you, his heart, and then he turns to his man and goes, ringer his heart. Yeah. Yeah, that's kind of cool.

Sanchez is Robert D'Avi, who is an incredible actor, whom they kind of ruin in this movie. By every time he's on screen, they play a faint little Latin guitar riff over him. Yeah. So like Sanchez steps in the room and, um. Okay, I want to argue with you, but I think that that's cool as well. They definitely do it, but I think it's good. Oh, but it's also a little bit racist.

Um, yeah, I think he's one of my favorite bond villains of all the bond villains that we see he has the most emotional range. Because we see him like when he's angry, when he's like sad, when he's like happy and joking and like we see him when he's at home and just chilling like I really like that we get to see so much of Sanchez. Yeah, he's really good. He brutally whips Lupo, which made me feel strange when I was a kid watching this. And then the DEA arrive and he immediately books it and like uses his dudes and Lufa as a distraction. So he can try and get away in a small sesame.

Yep. And James Bond. James Bond. James Bond. No jurisdiction. No, the current. No, I'm not. No, I'm not.

Wearing morning dress. He is, yeah. Does the bane move of, like, suspending the helicopter with a cable, suspending the plane with a cable from the Coast Guard helicopter? They like, they catch up with the plane and then like, they're like, hock it and then like literally catch the plane from the tail. I'm actually wondering why you'd shoot a man before throwing him out of a plane. So they arrest Sanchez Dussley and then... Skydive into Felix Wedding, which to be fair, pretty cool.

Yeah. Yeah. Two major thoughts regarding them Skydiving and parachuting into Felix's wedding. First of all, was all my notes say it and this is hard to say anything to this, but dudes rock. And the second is, do you remember in which fucking more was it where he fucking pulls out like a massive union Jack parachute? Oh yeah, right at the beginning. It might have been there. It was the dude who don't have. It was just after dude.

James, I need a spider. Love me. Yeah, spider who love me. Yeah, need this, but where fucking Dalton pulls out a massive Welsh flag parachute. He's so Welsh in this movie. He's like not even bothering to hide it. Oh yeah. You're the terrible Doug Delaum. I'm going to rest him now. I'm coming with you, don't you know. Alice did a fucking incredible tweet which has been on the account by the time you listen of this, which is just fucking Alex Travellian for England, James. James Bond still Dalton, no, for Wales.

I'm just saying, I'm just saying about where should James Bond ever since I saw this movie. It's so good. Yeah. He's gonna fucking bust a McHenlith blowfeld. Like, I love the idea that not just 007 is Welsh, but Welsh independence has happened, right? There is a Welsh MI6, and their finest agent is Timothy Dawton, James Bond 007. Just, yeah, and entirely sort of like Welsh world view bond.

When Brexit happens and like the Welsh secret service get the trademarks, that am I saying? Yeah, what I'm saying is, what I'm saying is that like, Amazon shouldn't have the rights to bond. The BBC, CUNRI, should have the rights to bond. And he's exclusive rights. It's literally like there's no difference at all, but everything he's got instead of the fucking union jack is a little youth and good. Yeah, it just got a little fucking watch dragon. The submarine pops the hatch.

There's got a Welsh flag on there just perfect. Dragon on it. Incredible. I didn't know that I was bond. Yeah. So, and this is his last appearance on watch. I didn't know that I was a band. Yeah. And this is his last appearance on watch.

First bond. Well, well, stay with bond by the toys. Yeah. So bond. Yeah. And we get a title sequence. Long as a banger. Oh, I don't know.

I found it in the song. I like the song. I found that it really overstayed its welcome is the thing. It is the longest one. The song mediocre or the title sequence. Kind of the title sequence. The song is weird. It's like a lot of women explicitly,

like nips out, just kind of like, listeners, I'm sort of like flailing my arms, like I'm trying to do like a high school dance show. It's like a lot of people like twirling in and not very impressive way. Yeah. The actual, the comment is that this is this, the intro, which would most benefit

from what happened in the Doctor No One, where it just suddenly hard cuts into Samba. Ooh, that's true. Yeah, it's a good point. But. So remember the Doctor No intro? It's half-assed. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, it was so, so usually the vignyard would not be related to the movie, but instead now we're just doing it as a kind of a prologue. And we cut to Sanchez has been arrested by the DEA and they're interrogating him. And remember the heady days where Bond would spend 10 minutes murdering a disabled man. I don't think I've ever got to. It's just happened enough and a duo that murdering a disabled Welsh man with a helicopter in the center of Card F. Yes. So Sanchez is like playing it quite cool.

He's being interrogated by a kind of like Falkorn leghorn voice guy whose character name is literally Ed Killifer, which at this point I wrote down I wonder if he's nice. And if he's going to be like a cool guy. I know as Ed Killifer. I feel like I feel like you probably name to die for. You probably shouldn't be able to fail a background check just based on name alone.

But you can. There's a lot of Muslim people who have. Oh, yes. Yes. Yeah, you're right. You're right. Sanchez offers a frankly by today's standards, absurdly low bribe of $2 million American in cash to anybody. Two fish windows for that. Yeah. To anybody who like busts him out of prison. Mm hmm. And okay, neither of them seem to go for it. The D a not interested. He's under a lot of like heavy. Yeah, and Oliver and in particular responds with absolute hatred

towards the concept. Mm hmm. Yes. And we cut back to the wedding reception. And we're fucking minuteslight as wife is like, Ah, Bond, remember the tradition of me, I think you're the best man. Yes. It's very strange. That their interactions are like, well, first of all, like bond cucking his best friend at his best friend's wedding would actually be an interesting plot, right?

But they, but they can't do that because that will be so interesting. So instead, they have to try and convey that bond fucks, but fucks in a way that's respectful. And so they have no idea how to convey that other than he has a chaste mouth kits with the bride in her wedding dress with her husband not present. Um yeah, there's other things that just done if she and Bond rolled flames that would have been yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah that would have been quite nice. But instead, it's slightly weird vibe.

We're like, we're like, in a slightly laser scene to jump ahead a bit, both she and her husband Felix give Bond a wedding gift. They give him an engraved cigarette lighter, because, you know, pun, lighter,

lighter. Yeah, the Phoenix lighter. Yeah, the, they give him the phoenix lighter. Yeah, the phoenix, given the phoenix lice, yes. But like, the vibe that they have, the way this is directed is such that it's kind of like they in Bond, like in a molecule. Yeah, it really is just like- It really is just like-

Now they're married, Bond's not in Bond company. Yeah, it's kind of like, phoenix likes to watch Bond fuck his wife or something. I can't No, it's the other way around. Oh, okay. Yeah, Bond likes to watch Yeah, I can see that that actually makes a lot more sense for the other way. Yeah So what well Felix is supposed to be getting married. He is working in his study on his computer. Yeah He's on the computer. Oh, she tells Bond go and find Felix, we need to cut the cake. And she's holding the cake knife, as she says this. Bond has his weird line where he says,

I'll do anything for a woman with a knife. Fucking weird thing to say now. Into knife. Yeah. James goes in and fucking Felix is on his computer and James is like, mate, you're getting married right now. And Felix is like, Bond, it's like, mate, you're getting married right now. And Felix is like, what on this online, I can't pause it.

Yeah. Come on. Yeah. Mom, I, mom, no. We see Felix take a mini disc out of the horse computer that Max Zorin used to tell the so-called Bond a horse. And put it in a picture of his wife, like a framed picture. I find the computer to be in the spancers.

Wow. Wow. So. Oh, it's the feel like, feel like finally like agrees to the day. Just stop using his horse computer and go and get married. Right. It looks finally agrees to go and get married to his wife. He absolutely logs off.

Yes. He's skydives in. He did. He was just like, hold up. I got a post. He's the opposite choice to Graham Linnahann. He logs off and stays with his wife. That's right.

That's right. So, yeah, they give Bond the Felix Leiter and across town Sanchez is being transferred and a prison convoy. But as they drive onto one of these sort of like, you know, the like long bridges and in Florida and like in the communities. Yeah, and the key is Ed Killifer. Seizes the wheel of the prison van and eats it off the bridge into the water below where divers help him and Sanchez escape.

They also have a sort of underwater sub that I assume that they got at like Lagos estate sale. Yeah, I mean, they must have organized this very quickly because this is the same day he was arrested. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And like, I guess, you have to figure a lot of underwater villains, it just went on the market after Bond, who is the same guy. Oh, I'm a certainly blew up the disco valanza two times. So yeah, especially after the second one. So Sanchez escapes in an underwater style fashion. And we cut back to Felix carrying his bride over the threshold only to find that lying in weight our Sanchez's men and their captain. Well first of all, we have a moment where Bond leaves the wedding at night and she...

After having had sex with her. Yeah, for the last time. Right in the position of the bride giving the best man her like, God. Oh yeah, this was fucking weird too. Yeah, I think she's thinking the ghost round the house. She fucking like, hikes her wedding dress all the way up and gives Bond her gatha because she's like, the person who catches this, I don't know why that sort of a bouquet will get married. It's supposed to be the bouquet, but like, and like, but Bond is like, yeah, thanks and leaves right and lighter goes

So he says no, he says no, he refuses it. Yeah, but she's like, oh, Says me wrong and he's like, yeah, see it good night. Yeah, and then as as he leaves Felix Leicester says James Bond isn't a code name. That's the same man. He was Directly at the fucking camera and he goes, no, no Abigail. Yeah. This man is the same man. Remember when he was Australian and he got married and his wife was killed on their wedding day?

Hope that doesn't happen anyway. Yeah, by blow-felt who could killed by dumping into it. When he was Roger Moore, yeah. Yeah, that's true. No, it feels exactly just says like, oh, he was married once. And that's the line. Yeah. Yeah.

That's continuity. Anyway, Bond leaves Felix and his wife, Della, get captured. And Felix is like, she doesn't get captured. She gets fucking iced. Oh, yeah. Like, Felix is like, leave her as me you want. So they just whack him with a pistol. And they they take him to like a, I don't even know what this place is supposed to be fish repository. Yeah, I think it's just a fish location. Fish lab,

fish lab. It's a dish. They take him to the fish lab where Sanchez is wasting. Sanchez tells him, it's not business. I mean, it's not personal, but I'm murdering you, but also it is business, but also I am gonna have you maimed now. Yeah, he's like, I'm not even murdering you. I'm gonna fuck with you. Yeah, he has him like fed two sharks, but only a bit.

He has the sharks like... Realistically. Yeah, it's terrifying. Yeah, it's seen as... Yeah, it's like he... They lower him legs first into the shark tank, where his legs are like bitten apart by a shark. It's like very, very gritty and realistic. This whole film has lost that kind of slightly fantasy-ish vibe. Like he's bloodly mutilated by these sharks. Yeah, it's not camp anymore.

Yes, yes. Well, I mean, Kiki Kamarena. Yeah, there's this Ed Killifer one thing. And there's has a massive suitcase full of money. He does. And for those two other people that we need to know, one is this old guy with a massage called Mr. Crest. Milton Crest, yes. Sanchez is like right hand man. He owns this fishery. Yeah, the second guy is Benicio del Toro, a bracket's twink. Yeah, yeah, he's really outrageously young.

So hot! He's literally the young one. The two, but a Bondville has ever been ever been he was 21 at time of this casting and let me say 21 you're not many showed El Toro my team's are open to the Lord good Lord Well, I'm just I'm just hanging out over here in like Kinsey 6 land, but um go off I guess well I mean what wait what does it go up to I don't remember anyway. What's the maximum kinsy? I don't even like thinking about men unless it's in a business context

So anyway sexual and happen. So, so, so, which is good. The shark, the shark, stops up like who want they loose the eight and, and Felix is like, oh, I'm doing me. Gets, gets horrifically mained. Get out. I'm not even justifying it with a response. And so Bond is attempting to get

on the plane to leave and then the fucking lass who's booking it's like yeah some sort of big drug I'll tell a guy just escaped and Bond immediately books it back to the ring house. Where he finds his dreamy dead Felix white. Yeah, dead. And Felix is just like right, but not actually shown, which is progress for the Bond movies, I guess, but like Benicio del Toro alludes to having assaulted Felix as a wife to him. Yeah, to some sort of reference to honey moon, that kind of thing.

Yeah, yeah. Felix is that his legs are not. Yes. He's like, they've put him in a body back and I presume like, turn a kid up, his like, leg and his arm. Yeah. And they have left a sarcastic note with him, which is he disagreed with something that ate him. Just to do a little bit of posting, a little free-star irony.

Yeah. So, in terms of like, rip. And Bond wants to make rhymes. Yeah, it gets like, I'm just like, oh, it's time to go. Yeah, like, this is like, rip from the headline stuff, right? Like, uh, Keke Hamerina, the the DEA agent who's death spurred like operation lay under and like ultimately the like Mexican civil war against the cartels, he he was murdered like four years before this came

out, right? So this is like sort of in the public imagination is like, oh saw a fox, or a fox. Well, no, by the Mexican deep state, but you know, metaphorically sharks, you're gonna juice things off a bit for films. Yeah. So Bond, like, fuck, what does Bond do? He calls an ambulance for him, but he's like, okay, I must have to do an 80s style roaring rampage of revenge. He becomes punished bond. Yeah, because he tells, like, Felix, I know, he

tells Killifers, he's like, look, we got a hunt down the guys that did this. And Killifers partners like, yeah, man, we'll do it. I work cops. We'll do our job. Just like go home and leave it like this isn't your jurisdiction as the head of parliament. And Bons, like, well, I've got to do something about this, you know, you can't just let them go, oh, can't just let them go back to South America. He delivers a few things down in Kuala Lz. A fantastic line, a fantastic A.C.'s action movie line,

just perfect little and moves the bush because one of the things that they've established early about Sanchez is that within Latin America, sure, he is the law, right? He controls presidents and banks and stuff. And so when they try to like brush him off, Bond says, It's like Sanchez's law operates north of the border to... Let's go Sharky. My friend Sharky.

I think it's a fucked up type of guy called Sharky investigating Felix. Yeah, Sharky, my old friend. Yeah, Bond implicates Sharky in the crimes that he is about to do. Yes, which include breaking illegally into the fish lab at night. Yeah, they break. No, he goes to the fish lab during the day. He tries to like his ball chef with his usual. What is essentially the Roger Moore playbook of like,

ooh, I'm just a bunt. Here's from the British Museum. I like to buy one fish, please. Yes. I'd like to be shown around and they're like, no. And he's like, oh, no, fuck off. Oh, I'll be back then. It's always used to work in the 60s.

They do give him a little tour, right? Where he meets Milton Crest, and Milton Crest is showing him that they have a lot of fish in this fish lab to which they use hormones to make more mail. In order to. He's got a mega box. Soul third world hunger. He's going to like start. I mean, Crest is supposed to do him like he's just used to believe that it's

funnier if he's not. And Milton Crest is just incidentally running a 60s era villain scheme in the middle of an 80s action movie. And he's just like trying to get recognised for his like fish plan that is just going on incidentally to everything else. Observe Mr. Bunn. It's a nice little detail as well where there's a dustpan and brush in the corner where someone's been doing some sweeping up. And Bonde notices that Felix is carnation from his wedding suit has been swept up and is in the garbage. So he knows he's in the right place. And like Bond and Sharkey have to have to break into the warehouse after hours, which they do by like swimming up to it, climbing onto a gantry.

And then as they're about to climb the ladder up in there, there is a hop-up shark land mine. Again, who won the, they should see eight like the shark just sort of yes up and holds its head above water for five four seconds, which they can't do but like yeah he did. You just kind of like bumps the gantry and this is enough to like Yeah, he just kind of like bumps the gantry and this is enough to like terrify sharky back but Bond proceeds anyway. And then we enter the hitman level where Bond is going entirely for points. Really of the weirdest hills and they're all environmental ones. Yes, because Bond starts poking around, pausing to go, you know, this is a lot like

when I was the same guy and I was poking around an illegal horse steroids lab. And he opens up a big box of maggots. Yeah, he opens up a big drawer and it's full of maggots and they make maggot noises, which if you're not certain what maggot noises are, are like, they're doing this the whole time. So, this guy, just, that's's the guy doing that with his mouth.

Yeah, yeah. The first of early artists being like, it's a compilation of all of my mouth noises. It sounds like Nate edits out of every episode. And so like of course because it sounds like good pussy bond, I was a bit both. And he's straight in. He's immediately caught by his guard. The most compromised Bond has ever been in the...

Bonson drugs and the guy pulls a gun on him and he has both hands and a maggot drop. Up to the elbows and it's quite funny that guards don't move and bonds like, do you mind if I take my hand out? That's true. That's why I think that this was a fatal mistake for that guard because he gets a fistful of maggots thrown into his face. And bonds just spin perfectly and it whips a fistful of maggots in like three perfect shots and absolute fantastic piece of cinematography. I'm genuinely incredible.

I'm just this guy getting mad at me. This is like genuine like Dale Grille pocket sand thing, but just maggots like that. That's what they teach you in Well Shem I6. Always have pocket maggots. Yeah. And then he judo throws this guy into the draw of maggots and shuts it. That's what they teach you in Welsh at my six always have pocket mags And then he judo throws this guy into the draw of magnets and shuts it. Yeah. Oh Imagine waking up like that He implies that that's gonna kill him

Yeah, he's gonna be traumatized for sure and he's gonna have a fear of flies the rest of his life, but like I'll tell you this for a fact First of all if that kills you that's that's a fucking die-away to go out second of all. Yeah, no Not now we move into like the Bond environmental kills bit Yeah, oh girl is my only note here. Yes He girl is my only note here. Yes. He hooks a guy into a tank with an electric eel in it. Yep. Turn me on with your electric feel. Yes.

He just does a couple of highly contextual murders. Oh, it's fully like the fucking quick time event pops up on screen while he's near the electric. Yeah, yeah, yeah, and he's like, oh, got it. It's the assassin's Creed unique killer available. And then he's caught while he's he opens up the big shark hole. And he's he's caught by Ed Killifer who is holding a massive heavy suitcase of money. Yeah, we had seen Sanchez andrest talk about Killifer before, right?

Because Sanchez's whole deal is like loyalty, right? And so Crest doesn't want him there. And Sanchez is like, no, I made a deal. But the way Crest tells him that is... I don't like it. You can finger me. I'm so sorry. I haven't cut that clip off mid-sentence or whatever. It just hangs there for a second in the movie too.

This is a science issue, my boy. I'm scientists to live as like a legitimately great line after that, but it's hard to notice it. Yeah, what? What? The line is of course loyalty is more valuable to me than money. So I'd kill a fur. He gets fucking low kicked by Bond and he's hanging over the shark pit.

And he goes, I'm like, hey man, I got a shitload of money. Do you want half of it to not kill me? And Bond sees the renegade pop up in the corner and he's like, let's go. Toss is the fucking big thing of money into it, which caused him to fall in. And he goes, you earn it, you keep it. And he gets the shussy, I think. You keep it. And you get it. I would have gone to keep the change. But he gets his shussy. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, I don't know if that would be good. I see that one in my better. And Shaki goes, damn, what a waste. And Bond, like gives him a beat. And he goes, of money. Yeah. Yeah.

Shaki. I hope he sticks around. Thanks. Shaki. Thanks for coming, man. Oh, God. I love Shaki. I hope he sticks around. Thanks, Shaki. Thanks for coming, man. Oh, God, I love Shaki. By the choice, Shaki. Shaki, from the hit film. So Bond gets, I think the first of, you know,

a sequence that's going to recur later with both Brosnan and Craig of M. Morales' kidnapping bond to yell at him. Yeah, welcome to the you're being taken off the case scene that happens in every one of these any of these action films. Yes, except it's funny. Literally, M is like give me your gun and your license to kill us. Revoked like yes. M M is the sand bond on a mission. He's like, I need you to go and like, like, yes. M M is. This end bond on a mission. He's like, I need you to go and like, do your job. And I was like, I have to hunt down the men who

who've utilitated my friend with a shark, don't you know? And the end is like, what? I can't understand what you're saying. I have to say. You're fired. And bond just like kicks M. And then that's it. Bond, Bond like throws some shit at like an on one of M's guys.

I never finished full of maggots. Yeah. Never met with a Welsh man with two pockets full of maggots at all. Fucking maggots, he's just, they did a fish lab. Yeah. The problem with M is M only has two goons and Bond has two hands and they're both full of maggots. There's nothing you can do man. Yeah, he's unstoppable. They try to chase him and Emma's like,

God help him. And this sets up a sort of general pattern of Bond you're fired but we're still kind of rooting for you. Yes. You said it just try very hard. No, it's like I old scamp go on. It should have sent double away after him. Like that would have been a good. Mm. Yes. Alas. Well, we're back with Loupé. See where it's C.

We're at C on both that is not nearly as cool as the disco Volante. May I say? Yeah, it's kind of shit. It's shit plus the fits have gone downhill, right? Because like by this point, they're not even wearing like t-shirts with the name of like disco Volante on them. And they're wearing jeans, which is just like, Yeah, this is Milton Crest's ship that's called like the fucking wave Crest or some show like that. Yeah, okay, like his name. A million drug deals on it.

Yeah. And sort of like drunkenly... Skies, there's a man to ray. Yeah. Yeah, but a Crest sort of like drunkenly tries to like, seduce slash assault, slash threat and loophole, and she just tells them to get out. The red dress that she's wearing in the scene, incredible.

Anyway, so Bob Bond sneaks on board disguised as a man to ray. Yes, as you said. He just has like a man to ray cape over his scuba suit. And he sees a shitload of cocaine in like a diving belt, like a pressure, a decompression chamber in the bottom of the ship. Yeah. Yeah. Also, yeah. As the question is selling dope. Selling dope. As when Don said selling dope.

Yeah, I'm holding on a second while I scroll down to that. Selling dope. There. Using drugs. So also as selling dope. As Bond is infiltrating the ship, this is the first time we've seen henchmen off work in the entire franchise. You just like go hangin' out. He just like goes past a in the entire franchise. He's just like going hanging out.

He just like goes past a couple of barracks. They're just a slay for there. And he's like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, a lot of time off. Yeah, yeah. And then bond friends are naked woman at a knife point. Yes.

James. In the classic. He's the only shits that are actually bond films. Mm-hmm. Within this entire thing, this is the only shit that is actually like a bond film. He does this twice again. Again, not sure why when I saw this as a kid, this like made me feel weird, but he like extracts information from Lupe at a knife point.

And Lupe has like no real love for either Sanchez or Crest. And so she kind of just tells him everything that he wants to know. He's not grateful for this at all. In fact, he blames, he's like kind of very angry and blames her. She says something like, oh, Sanchez, he's a monster or whatever, but she has whip marks on him and bonds that way. you seem to like it. And it's just like, this is a vulnerable woman who's being abused. You're just a f***ing novel about it. But she does lie, like she covers for him when when Crest comes back. She's that haven't seen anything. And then we see that Shaki's dead. Yeah, Shaki has been killed. And like, and the guy who killed him does a bit as well. Yeah, he's strung up among the sharks,

because he's sharky, hey, he has a fucking shark hunting thing. Yeah, shark hunting, no. And the guy who's driving the boat back and like yells to crest, hey, his name really was Shaki. Yeah. And at this point,

he's like a man who goes, yeah, we like shatters drivers license. And like this point, it's like an ad-lib. Yeah, we like chess is driver's license. And like being around a henchman who does bit, immediately angers Bond to the extent that he blows his cover because he shoots that guy with a spear gun. So your first. That is unarmed.

First unlicensed kill. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Lice is kill number one, brackets a harpoon. This is for sharky. Really? You're gonna really make it kill. Yeah, yeah, yeah, uh, lice is kill number one brackets a harpoon. Yeah, this is for you. You're really making it count. Yeah. So straight straight. You see I'm shaki and then it loads him away with a harpoon straight. Straight.

Yeah, straight out of the line. Shaki. What? This is for shaki. And he's like, what? Who? Yeah. Uh, at this point with me earlier, that yeah that at this point, there's a, like,

there's a float plane with two of Sanchez's guys who are like doing a drug deal with crest. They're like loading cocaine into their plane and replacing it with money on a little like submersible thing. with money on a little like submersible thing. Bond sort of common deers the submersible and while Crest is trying to get his guys to kill Bond, he like rides it until he is able to fire a speargun at the back of the plane. I want to pull up actually a little bit before this, I'll finish describing this though because it's fun. Water ski behind the plane. Very cool.

Climb up that water ski cable and grab onto the plane and then simply redo the octopus you think of climbing into the plane from the outside. So, second consecutive. Second illegal kill James Bond. A shit on a drug money. Yeah, yeah. This is like a real M.I.6 pucks is like he's got a lot of drug money now. Second illegal kill. Trucks a guy out of a plane. But early on, early on, they're offloading.

He drops a guy a little bit less far and he gets picked up. So I'm not. I still want to count that as a kill. He throws a guy out of a plane. You know, when it's an attempt is illegal kill fine. And my understanding is that attempted murder is still a crime. Yeah. Let's put it down there. Really? Yeah. Yeah, let's put it down that really? Yeah, yeah, I'm really sorry to be the one to tell you this my tea toast with so you right When they're off loading the coke onto the fucking submersible bond completely gives his position away by just stabbing the bricks of coke with a knife for no fucking reason at all apart from that he's pissed off.

I've just got it onto the plane quite stealthily, but instead he's just like, fuck you, fuck you. This is kind of a like, kaiobond, you know? It's so good. But bonding, listening and marigames. The fact that he then like water skis behind a boat and then climbs inside it makes more sense if you like juice to believe it, like some of a coke got into his I'm gonna fucking So So, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so back to Felix's house, I guess, and uses the, he like uses mini disk on computer and goes through Felix's files, in which he finds a bunch of information about selling a horse to Roger Moore, but also a list of Felix's informants in Sanchez's

drug cartel of whom all are dead but one Pam Boothea. Who Felix had a meeting schedule with because she is an informant. Yes, yes. And there is going to pull out and say probably my favorite bond girl name, Pam Boothea. Pam Boothea. Pam Boothea. I'm saying earlier in the film, she wasn't named, she was actually at Felix's wedding

and it's nice. That's nice. It's one of the brush off. So, yeah, it's also insanely hot. She makes fun of Bonskahn. Yeah, yeah, she has the rendezvous with her in like a sort of speedboat bar. A very, it's a sports bar. It's like a tropical sports bar.

He doesn't get that by speedboat. It's cool. Yeah. And they have bond, who by the way is now a millionaire because he has a plain full of five million dollars in drug money. Yeah, he's like, you know, I got a lot of money. He's put all of that. Yeah.

So like... I can't stress enough that this is a rogue secret agent of this plot. Yeah. Yeah. Benicio del Toro comes in looking for them because they're watching the meeting. We find that a little about Benicio del Toro's character at this point. He's bad news. He used to be with the conscious before they kicked him out.

He's just the kind of guy Sanchez would send. I love, I like the idea of a guy who is like too crazy for the Contras, like too evil for the Contras. 21. But like, he did the Contras bad easy. But like, he did the Contras bad easy. The two things this line could be doing. What?

And I'm not sure which is funnier. One is like, he's so evil that even the contrast who are evil think he's too evil. Or it's trying to spare the reputation of the contrast a little bit by being like, yeah, no, at least they've got standards. Ah, I am not gonna make that joke. So Bond turns out, and she's like, do you pack in?

And he shows his little waffer. And she makes his face like, that's a gay gun for women. And then we look below the table, and we see that she's got a shotgun between her legs, which is very funny. Yeah, all I wrote was get his ass pam. And I wrote about five consecutive things. We kind of have the inglorious bastards, like, sort of party games. Yeah, we really do.

At this point, they're seated around the table and they're trying to make conversation in a we are all about to kill each other kind of way. And eventually Bond loses his patience and hunches a guy. And we have Barbara Bond. You swing on a chandelier, like full fucking cap here, someone comes at him with a swordfish. Yes, I'm going to fucking swordfish. I'm going to kill James Bond with this, I reckon. I'm gonna kill James Bond with this, I reckon. And I was like, yeah, yeah, you should. Illegal kill, I'm not the creature.

I'm the creature. I'm the creature. I'm the creature. I'm the creature. I'm the creature. Illegal kill, I'm the creature. Illegal kill, I'm the creature. Illegal kill, I'm the creature.

Illegal kill, I'm the creature. Illegal kill, I'm the creature. Illegal kill, I'm the creature. Illegal kill, I'm the creature. Illegal kill, I'm the creature. Illegal kill, I'm the creature. Illegal kill, I'm the creature. Illegal kill, I'm the creature.

Illegal kill, I'm the creature. Illegal kill, I'm the creature. Illegal kill, I'm the creature. Illegal kill, I'm the creature. Illegal kill, I'm the creature. Illegal kill, I'm the creature. Illegal kill, I'm the creature. Illegal kill, I'm the creature. Illegal kill, I'm the creature. Illegal kill, I'm the creature. Illegal kill, I'm the creature. Illegal kill, I'm the creature. Illegal kill, I'm the creature. Illegal kill, I'm the creature. Illegal kill, I'm the creature. Illegal kill, I'm the creature. Ill. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're not having the license is that you've got to do it in the approved way,

but when you're on license, we do it in a different way. You just have fun with it. It's so funny though, this has the reputation of being like the most grim dark Bond movie, and it's like, yeah, there's a swordfish. The guy just says a guy into a maggot container.

Yeah, no, it's not that fucking gritty or realistic. But fistful of maggots. Bond and family. But yeah, Bond and Pemiscate bond hurling fistfuls of maggots in every direction. Yeah, while he's leaving, he's like, oh, no. No, go ahead and hit this fucking, hit these maggots.

And at this point, Bond's accent takes a fucking step change into becoming even more Welsh. Like, he kind of yells at her, right? And what he sounds like is... Bloody lucky to be alive. That's a Welsh man. That's Abby's impression of him. Like that's not even bloody lucky to be a lie. Yeah, no, I fully support. Reducing the entire world of James Bond who like whales and onverons. I want to see a fucking... I really like Panda. Yeah, and in a scene she fucking owns in like four or five times.

She's like, fuck you man, I gotta give a shit. Like I'm an ex-army pilot, I'm wearing a bulletproof vest. Like, who the fuck do you think you are? And then they shag for no reason. And I'm like, ah, come on. It's fun. Also, she kisses him first and Bond says, why don't you wait until you're asked, which is a fun line, but a bit rich coming from this guy I find.

Yeah. Dude, you are canonically a rapist. Yeah, yeah, yeah, when he was the same guy. What do you ask? Yeah. Yeah, when you were the same guy during Goldfinger. Yeah. Yeah, when you were the same guy during gold finger. Yeah. So he, why don't you fuck off?

He offers this out. My coffee? Fuck off. So he offers her some drug money. Fuck off back to Cardiff. You tap, can't. To fly to not Panama City, isma City, which is where Sanchez is like an empire is based.

Yeah, where is this? No, this is a fake nation. It's based on Panama, but they're doing a thing about Panama and Indictator. Fucking Noriega. Yeah, it's like it really works. Or whatever. Yeah. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

So so meanwhile back in yeah, I'll agree now back in MI6 Money penny is checking up on bond Because she's worried about him And so as so is M kind of, so again, it's like you get this vibe of like where he's been off the case before, he's been off the case. Like on her majesty's secret service,

he's just out. Whereas here is more like ad bond to be back. Hey, Darn, buddy, he's taking a little sabbaticals to go on a roaring rampage of revenge against the drug cartel. Every, every, every British agent gets to do this once or twice. Like, you get one revenge rampage. Um, you'll cover up one revenge rampage. Bond and Pam rock up to a five star hotel with $4.9 million in cash. And just start fucking live and launch. Yeah, but flashing money around. He's like, fresh cloud every day.

Bond walks into the fucking bank chairman's office and goes, I'd like to make a small deposit. And the bank chairman's like, I'm sure the people downstairs can take care of it. And then you hear the sound of the suitcase of money being put down. It's so fucking loud. And then I seamlessly swaps into. Why don't you take a seat? So he introduces Pam as his executive assistant Miss Kennedy, a Kennedy Booby, you know, fun,

right? And yeah, it's funny. She gets this line. Why can't you be my executive secretary? She gets this line. Why can't you be my executive secretary? We're south of the border. It's a man's world, which by the way, it didn't kind of, um, Jacqueline Kennedy made the name was Boothea. Just why it's funny that she's being. Yeah, it's a little, a little frustrating to a previous image operation. The assassinate, you know, John has a henna day, which they did.

Yes. You know what they put? No, they couldn't have been there. They would have fucked it up. Through Margaret's had him from the third floor winner. Yeah, it's a man's world. And it's like, we're stuck at the border now. It's a man's world.

Yeah, and he sure seems to not like that, hey, oh, yeah, he fucking like a man's world down here. Remind me again, how many female heads of state have there have been in like South and Central America versus the United States? Is that yeah, anyway? Well, we tried to have one Alice. That's true. Fucking who did? He was electable if you fucking voted for her? I know. I'm sorry.

Oh, right. Yeah, you've seen the tank top. Yeah. Snake emoji. Yeah. So, it's the run. We're so says like, I'd like to open a tab at the casino and to which the fucking guy goes, oh, of course, you have plenty of collateral right here and our chairman owns the casino. And it's so funny that you could just walk into a bank with some money and be like, these are the crimes that we do. And I'm like, yes, absolutely. Yeah, also, there's this weird thing

that I've noticed about this movie, right? And once you notice that you can't stop noticing it, which is that Bond has a compulsive laugh, right? And the you notice that you can't stop noticing it, which is that Bond has a compulsive laugh, right? And the compulsive laugh doesn't sound like a normal laugh. You could hear a little bit of it in that drop, right? Where it's like, why can't you be my executive secretary? Like he is saying the word, huh? Like he is saying the word. Yeah, he's not even laughing. He's just like, red or laughing.

I just believe it. Timothy Dalton has a blind spot as a performer that he can't laugh on cute. And so he just has to say, but like, this is the thing, right? He's doing this all the way through interacting with Felix and Felix's wife, right? Like, anytime he's having fun at the wedding, he's just like, he's like, he's like, he's like,

he's like, even when there's no dialogue, there's a bit where he walks across the room and like he brushes by some people and he just goes, he's like, and it's like, I don't,

So staccato, it's fucking insane. I think that this is because being happy is so foreign to James Bond's character. They don't know how to do it. They literally have no idea how to make it be. Yeah, but just like this. Bond doesn't do happiness. He's like at best, he's like content.

Like he has like a nice bottle of champagne or he has some sex or whatever, but like he's grimly satisfied because he has done something difficult, like killing a guy in a weird way. But like actual happiness or it's like a real agitated environmental kill. Like the only time he's actually done that was lazily and lazily delivered that in quite a sort of like undistated way because lazily couldn't act. that in quite a sort of like understated way because

lazily couldn't act. Yeah, that was just genuine. Yeah, Timothy Dauphin can act. And his genuine is the moment. Yeah, yeah. There's no genuine joy as nice as the moment where a waiter brings George Lazily a drink and like George Lazily just like reflexively smiles thank you to him. Yeah. Like there's there's no. There's no sincere smile. Whereas Daughton has like gotten inside the character in a way that Laisen be couldn't because you couldn't act. And Daughton's like, oh, James Bond, he is a cunt. But I must play him as if he is having fun.

How does James Bond have fun? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha There's another line later on, which is perfect for this because he laughs to a line that isn't even funny. Don't you know, Yguana is our girl's best friend? You like walk so way late, though. He's so much. And he's like, what will they think of next? Yeah, perfect. Women. What will they think of next? Uh, yeah, perfect.

Women. Well, the joke there is of course, for the, the iguana had a diamond necklace and during that scene, Lupe had swapped the necklace onto her wrist. A lot like the time I was involved in diamond smuggling in Las Vegas when I was the same guy. When that guy had a diamond necklace when we had a lion to talk. Yeah, it's a lot of the time I murdered those two gay men. Anyway, we have to go to a casino. Bond gets bored if he doesn't go through the casino.

Honest here, Abigail. There is not one time he's murdered two gay men on a cruise ship. He's one of the fucking funniest things that someone's ever said to me was a man. In the fucking boys' chat, who just simply wrote, Devon on a cruise ship, I was informed this was a man. In the fucking boys chat who just simply wrote Devon on a cruise ship, I was informed this was a cruise ship. Dave's bond just gets on the wrong car. So Bond goes to the casino. He has quite a clever plan.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. His plan is like, boy, he's going to go Sanchez's casino and I'm going to start spending all of his fucking money Yeah, he's going to do some spice shit, but somebody's just robbed him of 4.9 million. Yeah, but but but the thing is his usual plan of I'm going to rock up to a place introduce myself as James Bond and then ask to seal the secret documents or whatever That actually works this time because Sanchez doesn't know who James Bond is and he drops enough truth in there to make it verifiable because he like is able to go, yeah, you used to be a British agent and then I got fired. So he, yeah, it's really good actually. Yeah.

He keeps winning a blackjack and then somebody, because he wins so much, somebody makes the call upstairs because Sanchez owns the casino and he's upstairs. And the head crew PA on the floor was just like, yeah, this is British guy. He's playing like a real jerk. Do you want us to close the table and Sanchez is like,

no, no, no, like bring him up. Like I want to see this guy. Mm-hmm. Which he does. And while he's in the bond is like scoping out the area for like ways to murder him, he's turning on fucking hitman instinct vision. He notes that the the window that's right by where he sits at all times is like fucking three inches thick, well, that proof glass. And he's like, all right. Also, Sanchez is listening to a televanjulist.

Yes. Who is secretly coordinating his drug distribution network. There are a series of coded messages in like telephones. So if he says like, I love this character. He's so much fun. Our Los Angeles chapter has pledged $500 or whatever. That's like an offer to buy at that price. But 500 kilos.

He's also like played by Wayne Newton. Just great. Yeah. He was, he was actually a dig popular televanjus at the time. The man's name is Jim Baker. Joe Butcher, such as Jim Baker. Yeah. Who was, and I think this isn't liable to say, was Televangia's Supertime were pretty much

to a man, a freak perverts. Yep. So Garth Ennis characters. Oh yeah, there's a great Eat the Rich episode about Televangia, such a way. So it's like a five, I think. But Bond offers his services to Sanchez as a professional killer. Yeah, he walks

in and he goes in Nate mode. He's like, I'm a problem solver. Yes. Yeah. Well, actually, that's not the line because Sanchez says a problem solver. And Bond says more of a problem eliminator. Yeah. And this gets a laugh because apparently everybody has the fucking Joker disease. Apparently everybody has the fucking Joker disease. Everyone in he goes up, she watches him leave and just like fucking bangs the Vodka Martini. One Swig. Fantastic. Yeah yeah and and makes a horrible face which means that since since Fleming wrote it someone has finally tried drinking a vodka martini shaken not stirred in real life. Vodka Martini, especially a dry Vodka Martini is you put 25 mil of vodka into a glass somewhere in the vicinity of some fucking vermouth, like you look at a bottle while you do it. Yes. And it's just, that's just a vodka shot dog, you can get that in a really small cup if you

want, you don't have to have it in a fucking Martini glass. But also, I hooted and hollered because there's a man in the background during this casino scene that I fucking recognize instantly. I was like, that is Gary here, a Yuki Tagawa. Yes, fucking, that is fucking Eddie Sakamura. Rising Sun. I saw him and I was like, oh, but she will know if you're on the page. I know that can't.

He's not in a fucking scene unless he's gonna kick someone in the face. He's a fucking scene unless he's gonna kick someone in the face Man I was looking to I still have the meat and potatoes drop and I sadly don't And then also as a guy in the casino Main room I think it's called Truman Lodge is the characters name.. Yeah, he's like Sanchez is a finance guy. Yeah, he's a finance guy. He's he's taking my Val Kilmer and Topseeker boxes. Yeah, looking like an initiative and dreamable.

Yeah, he's fantastic. Yeah, he's fantastic. Our accountant and Bond gets back to the hotel and the lady on the desk says, Oh, your uncle has arrived, Mr Bond. And he's finally learned to be a spy. I read this down, yeah. Because he's not just like, I don't have an uncle at all. You're talking about him.

Uncle Dide years ago. He actually just goes, oh thanks. Oh yeah, my uncle. It's a cool report. But yeah, there's still a facial wobble, but he's getting that baby. And it's fucking cute. Hmm. I also enjoy that there's a little subversion of the usual Bond leaves in the film immediately.

He goes, he'll him because Bond leaves the room with Sanchez and he goes, okay, fucks. All right. Tell me everything about him. Let's find out. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Check him out. Yeah. So so Q after having been like dive tackled by Bond and then immediately getting back up and being like, yeah, that's fine I'm fine. He was a 97 year old man. It would have broken every bone in his body, like a baby bird. He's gonna get older, baby. I can't.

Because Bond was expecting it to be some sort of assassin as has happened several times when he was the same guy. He goes to Pam, give me a gun, and she gives him a gun. A little time. So he leaves. She pulls a second gun out of her purse, which I really enjoy. She, Pam, how come your mom wants you carrying two berethas? Also, she's got a really short haircut in this and it's fantastic. Oh,

fuck, I completely, completely missed this. Yeah, yes. Oh, my God. Okay. So in between the casino scene and the hotel scene Bond is like well if you're going to be my executive secretary you better look the part. He tosses us some cash and it's like yeah go fix yourself. I feel like shit dog. A hundred thousand pounds and 20 is he tosses us and she she reappears in the next scene in like a backless her poor sort of like a shimmery gown with the hair that I want, the hair that gives me fucking gender dysphoria, like fucking short AC's haircut and just, hmm. Yeah, I mean, you could get that haircut, like, not with my hair like.

That's a haircut, you know, you could do it. Well, anyway, so yeah, she looks amazing, but He gives him a bunch of gadgets because he's like money funny is worried about you so she sent me out like and He gives him a bunch of gadgets that he doesn't fucking use. Yeah, he gives him like a sniper rifle disguised as a camera That only bond can use Because it's his palm print. That's the only really one. He doesn't use the X-Bot and toothpaste of the laser stuff, does he? No, he kind of uses the explosive toothpaste.

Use the explosive toothpaste. He doesn't use the laser camera. Yeah, so the explosive toothpaste is literally just plastic explosive in a toothpaste tube. And so Bond is like, right, I'm gonna go and kill Sanchez now in revenge for killing my friend.

So, Sanchez is in a meeting. Yes. During this with a bunch of, and I'm just gonna quote directly here, Asian gangster delegation. Now, referred to by multiple characters as orientals. Yeah, the way. And what's fantastic for this is, and I don't know if this was specific. I don't know if this was a decision that was made or if this just was a symptom of nobody being involved in this movie understanding anything.

But when they're introduced to the Asian gangster's allegation, both Truman Lodge and Hello, greet them in Japanese, but every single one of them is speaking Chinese amongst each other. Yes. Also, the only two name ones are called Kwang and Tan, which are Chinese surname.

Yes. Yeah, oh dear. Just going straight to Hong Kong and being like a Hiyoga Siamas. Yes. How you doing? Oh, fuck. So Bond heads up to a rooftop.

He had scouted while he was in Sanchez's office. Having... He grobbed Sanchez's lips. He's having non-stop a statue. He has done the prep for this by like, absoling down. Stone, non-s. Nonsing a stone, putting the plastic explosive underneath the armoured window with a little

dead stone. Oh, a single stone. It's really good, actually. No, no, no, no, no, Danny DeVito movie. Yeah. Non-sing the stone. So having done this, he goes up to his sniper hide with his camera gun. And he sights up, Sanchez.

But, at the last second. Sanchez has a fucking awesome line because he's meeting the president of country. Yeah, we don't know. Man, well, not three. And he he threatens the he threatens the president by saying, remember, you're only president for life. I just thought it was really nice to have a line. I watched this I watched this film with a friend of the show, Alice Quinn Rose, and we both turned to each other and we were like sick.

Yeah, that's a good fucking lie. Yeah, so Bond is sicing up Sanchez through his camera gun, but then he sees Pam Boeville walk in in order to conduct some kind of deal with Sanchez's security guy, hella. And while he is thus surprised, he detonates the explosives ready to shoot Sanchez and is attacked by ninja. First you become a ninja. First you become a ninja first you've become a ninja do you have any command? I have much much better

ninjas top secret monster He's like I remember these guys from when I was Japanese Yeah, when I was Yeah, would feel like this like he was married once he's referring to his like fake Japanese He's referring to kissy Suzuki from he's referring to his like fake Japanese referring to Kissy Suzuki from F.A.M. Yeah.

He's very one. Didn't end well because he had to absolutely into a volcano. Yeah. There's, yeah. And also, this is an extremely legitimate assassination attempt by Pots. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. Absolutely stoke. He's ready to like compromise this man to a permanent end, but he is like jumped by the ninja. The like explosive goes off, Sanchez of course books it along with all of the like drug kingpins he was talking to.

And Bond gets his ass handed to him. He gets his kick and balls kicked in. You've forgotten all his training from that time he became a Japanese. He's waiting list. But you're right, Debbie. He's forgotten all the ninja stuff he was taught by Tiger Tanaka. I guess we said disappointed in him here. Yeah.

So, back when he was the same. I guess I'm not what conduct bond, San. Oh God, they fully he was the same guy. I'm not a conduct bond sand. Oh God they fully would write that as well Bond wakes up tied to a table in a hideout where The guy that he had seen before the guy from Ryzen's son name goes the name. I don't remember Yeah, he's called Mr. Wong in this film. Okay, yeah, Mr. Wong here.

But he's like, isn't that that's fine? Wait, all right, all right, all right. I hear Yuki to go and he's called, it's quang to be fair, but like, Oh shit, I'm Mr. Misher, I'm sorry. Anyway, he's like, I'm a fucking Hong Kong cop. You fucking idiot. Yeah.

We are at the middle of an operation. You are fucking not fucking fucking. I just got back from beating up every man in Australia because I was also that same guy um so yeah yeah different guy different the same guy is the same franchise hi Stefan here I'm just editing this episode I just wanted to say I was a a little overly harsh here. The character's name was indeed quang, but I think someone may well have pronounced it quong at some point during the episode, which is why Abby thought his name was quong. However, I don't know what the fuck Alice is talking

about here. She might be thinking of the man from Hong Kong, but that's an entirely different guy. That's not Carrie, here are Yuki Tegawa. That is Jimmy Wang Yu. Anyway, sorry. Please enjoy the rest of this episode of Killer Jans Bond. Love you. So, anyway, also, MI6's man in Ismus is there and is like, Yeah. Right, we're going to have to shoot you up with happy juice now Bond. You're going to be returned to London. It was an absolute shock to hear such a heavy British accent just out of nowhere.

Fucking hit me like a train. I think he sounded a little bit like a kind of a deaged Charles Gray. Yeah. He used to go entirely jack me. Yeah, I was like, I wish this guy was actually English. Mmm. Oh, forgot, say, double-ish. Really?

Double-ish, seven. I'm going to have to. Stridele. But as he is preparing to inject bond with the good stuff, did the building get blown up by an armored car? Yeah. I guess they're me attack with Sanchez because they work for him. Yeah. Because it's the service that Sanchez, like basically controls the whole country. Yeah. And so they are all killed. Bond is the sole survivor.

And he's completely tied to a table. So they're like, oh, I see, I see. And they're like, oh, we're going to rescue this guy. Good. And so Bond wakes up in Sanchez as mentioned as his like honored guest. And we would be remiss if we didn't mention the first thing that Bond sees when he wakes up. Because this is an image that has been sent to us on the account multiple times as we got closer and closer to doing this movie. Bond wakes up.

You wake up, miss. God, I'm sorry. You wake up, Miss. Go on, say. You wake up to behold the face of a human-faced fish statuette. It just like perfectly cuts to it. No sounds, no cue, just a shot of that fucking horrendous fish statue. I have written in... And then I have written in what? And then undelined that. That's what. What?

I'm a little odd bit of decor. It wears the Sanchez purchase, the fish statue. My only note is need that statue. No, no. Uh, I'm gonna put it in the guest bedroom. But yeah, Sanchez thinks that the explosion that blew up his office was those guys and that Bond was trying to save him

So he's like, oh, hey, like thanks a lot and Bond does a clever bit of spy work here because he implies that Crest is behind this. He's like, I think this I think this somebody who's an inside-minded organization I presume it must be that because Because like loopay who is still helping him even though he's's a piece of shit to her, because like she hates Sanchez, is like, press is flying in tomorrow. And so he drops like this trail of bread crumbs that like he heard them talking about getting paid from a guy who was coming in tomorrow or whatever.

And cash especially. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. To make him suspect craft. He also says, I used to work for the British government, which is just entirely true. And it's like, good spy work. And when he implies it, someone in his organization, Sanchez says, everyone in my organization is 100% loyal.

Organization. Organization. It's motherfuckin just said. loyal. Organization. It's motherfuckin just said. Organization. Organization. This organization does not talk value. You're right. Organization.

Which is of course where Sanchez is from in the Caribbean. Right. Yeah. And you also get a nice line from Sanchez, which is while Bond is leaving the room, Helagos, you're not going to believe what this guy is. Sanchez goes, he's a former British agent. And I was like, and you know that? Sanchez smiles and just goes, I know things.

And it's really, it's like, I hate to say it. I hate to say it about this absolutely murderous drug cut-out guy. It kind of fuxx. You do have to hand it to him. You know what else is cool? Is that we see that Sanchez, like it doesn't murder his henchman when they fail him. He does murder,

well, he does murder some of his henchman in spectacular fashion later. Very so. But he doesn't like, he seems to be like pretty nice generally to his employees. We see him in a pretty relaxed vibe here. So, yeah,

yeah, yeah. But once again, he uses loopay to escape. And having done so, he busts back into the hotel room. And for the second time, holds a woman down on a bed naked and points like a weapon at her. Because he's like, questions Pam as to why she was dealing with hella and She tells him that Sanchez has gotten hold of some stinger missiles and She working for the CIA is trying to make a deal with hella to get them back and so bond has fucked this up for like two separate competing Parsis merely by being a murderous dickhead in the wrong place at the wrong time. I think she literally says like there's more at stake here than just your

personal vendetta. Yeah. She's literally like, I think Bond becoming increasingly unkempt and furious because during this scene he's unshaven like he's got massive life, watch out. It's good. And it will be better if he was shown to be wrong ever, in more than just the occasional line from Pam. Loupa really acting like a complete cunt and he's going on nothing but instinct, he's fucking up repeatedly. But like no one is saying to him, hey man, you are jeopardizing everything that everyone is working on right now.

Luke please show us up in the hotel, an incredible polka dot dress. Wish I had children like that. Um, and then it gets weird again because she's like, I'm in love with James. Yeah. And Pam gets jealous. Yeah, because I guess, I guess, Bond and Pam have already had sex, right? Yeah. And so she is kind of jealous because I think she correctly deduces

that like Bond and Lupe have sex. No, Lupe says it. They have and Lupe says it. She's, yeah. Pam says, one's out the country by now, andoupa goes, no, he was with me last night to which it cuts to Q and he does such a fucking heavy, I roll psych on that. It's like, oh, there he is. And then he perfectly quotes the entire human intelligence

resources. Yeah. Huge tries to like, stream the camera. Yeah. Huge tries to cover for bond to 2 p.m. by being like, you can't judge him too harshly. Your covert operatives have to use every means that they're disposal. Who is she correctly says, oh shit. Yeah, that's directly the camera goes, look. Yeah, he looks directly to the camera and goes look There I go when when he was that look when James knotted inside that woman He didn't enjoy it. It was for Queen and country. Yeah, he did it for Wales Yeah, when when he like cheers all down the front of this insanely hot babe It was purely out of sense of duty. That's right. Yeah when he swapped position for the third time Mm-hmm. That was that was for the fucking well-stragon.

He was stinking him with the rogoth during that. His patriotism, that's what it is. So Bond sets up the trap to spring on Sanchez, right? Because Frest is coming into town on his yacht. Oh yeah, maybe. And Pam infiltrate that yacht. Plant a shitload of money, the $5 million of drug money that Bond has. Oh, what's left of it after Bond's finished, you know,

splashing it all over town on top of the yacht. Yeah, but in order to disguise, yeah, in order to disguise how much of it he's skimmed off the top, he's just a big pile of it on the ground. Yeah, he just like gasses it all over the inside of that, that decompression chamber. Also, he's wearing an oversized blue t-shirt and no shoes. And I wrote, you bond fit. Just dropped. Yeah, it's weird. He's going on here.

Yeah. So this is genuinely quite funny moment where Sanchez asks Chris, like, He's going on here. Yeah. So... This is genuinely quite funny moment where Sanchez asks Chris, like, what happened with the drug deal? Yeah, yeah. And Chris is like, this guy came and then he was waterskying behind a plane and then he climbed inside it and stole it. And they're like, bullshit, I don't believe you.

Yeah, yeah. Just trying to explain Bond to a normal person is a very funny bit. It's actually such a fucking good thing. Because he's going to be entirely stonewalled. Why didn't you get him? You get him going like, well, you saw this, right? And she's like, no, I stayed in my cabin like you are.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. He went to space and there was a spaceship full of himbows. What point didn't you get him? Well boss, he jumped off a cliff and then he opened a Welsh flag parachute. He had concealed on him that we didn't know. He turned into a Japanese man and he had an intertraining. He got inside a crocodile. What did he do to that guy? That was so nice. What did he do to that guy? We have so much to do.

He got away from us because he had an experimental jet pack that he used for money. Twice. He had a second experimental jet pack. They're just getting entirely stone-world while he's like explaining just for Baiden what Bond did is so fucking good. It's very funny. It's great. So he has a tentron search the boat and they find the money.

And then we get the bit that like gave me nightmares. It's a little content warning if you like? Because genuine content warning. While Bond is simply watching, concealed, Sanchez shows pressed the money. And Chris is like, I don't know whose money that is. I'm being set up. Sanchez, of course, does not believe him. Throws him into the diving bell and increases the pressure while the guy is like

pleading for his life. And then hits the air release valve with an axe, causing the guy's head much like Katanga in live and let die. Causing the guys head to inflate and explode. And it's done. And we see this happen. Yeah, this is done with the most visceral practical effects possible at the time. It's really good. It's really good practical effects.

It's really fucking grim. It's really weird face, which could be the episode up. No, it's, yeah, we've been doing it. Not to make it. It's really horrifying. Yeah, yeah, it's horrifying. Yeah, no one I was like, it's from the game nightmares. It's like, it's like, it's like in Cronenburg practical effect is on it there. That's incredible. Yeah, he spins into fucking strawberry jam. Mm-hmm. And then while he's leaving, one of his men says to Sanchez, what about the money put on?

So Sanchez goes, launder it. Fucking, and I was like, oh, you can't hate him. Sanchez has all the world liners in his bond hardly has any. Sanchez is the guy with the lines Yeah So credible and anyway again bond does cool spicy because Sanchez gets back to his mansion Goes into bonds room and bonds like a sleep So I pretend he'd sleep and then Sanchez is like hey like that tip you gave me was really cool and

Bond says oh was there just one guy? I would have thought it was more than mine. It must be nothing I guess. He goes like, oh, cool. And he goes, yeah, someone would have to be insane to try to take you on on their own. And look directly at the camera goes, this is when Lupin bond chast. This is when she comes to the team.

Yeah, yeah. They're looking incredible, by the way. Hottest bond girl. Not taking questions on this. She goes, he goes, he goes really heavily well she and the team he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes production lab along along with the other drug, which is concealed in like a sort of like meditation retreat run by this televangelist. It's actually like a cultural center in Mexico looks incredible like yeah looks fantastic really really like intense architecture. So like there's also an extremely fun bit where you radio's in to be like,

yeah, I can see him, he's on his way in and then just fucking tosses his radio rake into the edge. Yeah, that's great. Which was Desmond the Wail and's idea. He thought it would be funny that after a fucking entire franchise of chest-dising Bond for losing his gadgets, he just fucking tossed one away,

he's likely. Which I could I say? Absolutely right. fucking entire franchise of chastising Bond for losing his gadgets. He just fucking fast-forwardly, slightly. Do you wish I could say? Absolutely right. He's fucking great. Yeah, so, so, Ham tries to like infiltrate the Institute, this Meditation Institute, on one hand. Well, Bond is like on the tour, where they're explaining how they hide the cocaine by dissolving it in gasoline, and then re-re-like congealing it. And this whole time they're wearing their masks, which is helpful for Bond,

because Benicio Adelto is there, and Benicio Adelto has seen his face and knows who he is. I love that they just got around Dario knowing who Bond is by just having him not be in the movie for the whole time. Yeah. Yeah. What was he doing back up again? It's like this guy. Yeah. He also has such a fucking good fit. Yeah, such an insanely good fit. Ham doesn't really know you like... Ham doesn't really... No, you better. Ham doesn't really do anything while she's here, by the way.

She just kind of locks way Newton in a closet, which is... Yeah, it's funny. Yeah. Was he trying to answer? Well, Benicio Del Toro is wearing a half-length coat. Like, if you imagine morning wear, but instead of having the tails, it just cuts off at the waist, a little bit above it, and he's got a he's shot on. And the way he gets his knife out every time he does a little

flourish, he like when he fixes knife out at any point in this movie, he holds his arm completely out to the side. This, right. It's cool, it's such a small role, but he just injects it with so much. Like he's even the line. This, right. It's just so fun. It's cool, it's such a small role, but he just injects it with so much. Like, he's even the line earlier on, where he says, where he says, Oh Felix is wife, we gave her a honeymoon. But he said, for some reason, like makes a really interesting decision with the delivery,

he says, we gave her a honeymoon. And it's like, that's one way to like, expand the size of your part is like literally take long to say the lines, man. That's cool. Yeah, it will give you a promise to reset for this commas. The reference to the bonus episode that comes after this. Oh, no, previous.

Oh, fuck, is it? Okay, fine. Yeah, I wouldn't have made that. So, you know, I probably still would have. So Bond gets made by Dario, despite wearing a mask. And Dario puts like a gun in his back. But as an opportune moment,

while a chemist is demonstrating how to like re distill the cocaine, Bond just starts throwing lab equipment around and starts a fire. Like he's, I don't know. I don't think it's not even that Sanchez starts the fire. Von just uses the opportunity. Sanchez is talking about how, hey, if I catch you, no evidence, it sets fire to the fucking cocaine filled gasoline and bond just immediately kicks the table over. It's like she's not like I've takes advantage of it. Yeah

So this starts a bit of fire in the places burning down and we see that there's this what is this machine? How would you just it's not really a grinder? It's like a massive shredder Disvolved in Celine Yeah, yeah, yeah, dissolve the gasoline. With the course, a big conveyor belt going on. Like you have. Yeah, of course. So, so Sanchez has Darro put Bond on the conveyor belt. Uh, and then he's like, yeah, this is just going to eat you. Uh, by the time it like is like up to your knees, are we begging me to kill you?

Uh, and he, Bond tries to like bluff the time, using the exact same gambit as when he was the same guy in Goldfinger, which is, at the last second toss out something you vaguely remember hearing about and hope it works, which in Goldfinger was Operation Grand Schlam, and here is the Stinger Missiles. It was a Main Strike, wait, now it was um. No, Main Strike is Zoran's thing. It was a main strike way. No, it was a main strike.

A Zoran thing. It was a collaboration ground. It was a bomb. It was a Grand Slap. Yeah. A Grand Slap. The Schmink on the strike. And he points out that like, if you see in your guy, hella, because he's just like booked

it with the missiles. Yeah. Yeah. And Sanchez is like, that's a very interesting point. If you see your guy, hella, because he's just like booked it with the missiles. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And Sanchez is like, that's a very interesting point. I'm going to leave you to die now, but I'm just going to go and check on that. Thanks for the heads up. Yeah. Yeah. Well, yeah, Bond essentially gets.

And then Bond, Bond ends up being like, right. Go ahead. Oh, I was going to say Bond gets every single person in Sanchez is in a circle killed just by saying their names during this process He's just like oh, let's got your missiles Fucking wherever his count name is the twinkies probably got you We do see how hella is in fact betraying him He's like loading this thing a missiles onto a helicopter to try and take them back to the CIA And Sanchez is like oh cool. helicopter to try and take them back to the CIA.

And Sanchez is like, oh cool, okay. And we just cut back to Bond being sort of like menaced by Dario. Yeah, because Bond is like, his hands are tied and they get caught on the conveyor belt. So he's like just above the shredder. And Benicio Dadorah spits in his face and is like trying to cut the rope. And thenoby a appears and like shoots Benicio Dador Non-faitally and barn throws him in the shredder and he is like horrifically turned into chunks. Oh, yeah, he is like minced. He's not doing well Actually, how some I have that on the or no, hold on. It was the drop.

Selling no gold? No, it was this. Started in mulch. Oh, yeah. So, a classic thing of Bond and Girl Escape is for someone who blows up around them. We see that hella has been killed by being impaled with a fork lift. Yep. Yeah. That must have been hard. Hmm. I don't know. Yeah. You know how that one happened. At this point, at this point, we have our final chase, right? Which freak acts,

would in previous movies, there'd be like planes or whatever. We've already done planes. We've already done boats. We've already done like winter spawn. Oh, look at that. Like, fucker. It's James Bond. We got trucks. Yes, James Bond solves the HGV driver shortage. No, no, no, no, no, no. He's causing that fucking choice. My god.

He takes him out. He's ripping through a sheet and in and through and large. Like trying to escape a convoy of trucks filled with the like, cocaine-ified gasoline. And Bond steals one of them and like murders his way forward. Is the only way I can describe it. Yeah. He doesn't fear a road ship.

Oh, really? And there's a bit where like one of Sanchez's guys tries to fire one of the singer missiles at him and he gets the HGV. He gets the like Kenworth semi-track up on two wheels to the missile passes underneath it. It's silly. Very silly. This is, this is the idiot's favorite bond film to say it's so gritty and realistic about. Yeah, because it ain't. Do not check if I

have ever said that. Do not own me. But like I might have said that earlier. It is, it is a stupid thing to believe because bond makes a semi truck do a wheelie to drive through a bunch of fire. Yeah. A couple of times. Several different kinds of wheelie he pulls. He pulls all of one side he pulls. Yeah. Fantastic. Yeah. Just a bunch of bunch of Mexican truck drivers just get fucking obliterated. Yeah. Pam is playing a small crop duster plane like crop dusting people and like dropping bombs and shit on them bunch of maggots precious In the hair to from a bum even worse

Yeah. Truly the fucking heyday of his henchman dying for bizarre news. Yeah, so he runs Sanchez off the road. Sanchez kills Truman Lodge because he's like too paranoid now, but they're fighting anyway. And then Sanchez has a machessi on Bond. He's about to kill Bond. And Bond, they're both like soaked in gasoline

at this point, because the tankers are leaking. And Bond is like, don't you want to know why? Sick as fuck, I want to be, I want to come out ahead of him as a go. This fucks. And he pulls the Felix Leiter and he incinerates Sanchez alive. Oh, that's really graphic too. Yeah. Fuck.

Yes. This is the shit baby. Fishes it's really graphic to yeah, yeah, yes This is the shit baby Yeah, so at this point Pam shows up and like another stolen truck There's like get in and bond is on my shit of calling girls sir. It's cool Hmm. Yeah, it's good. It's good actually. It's good. It's real good. I highly recommend it. You should do it So and then we get the sort of like aftermath scene which is loopay and kind of like

fight over bond Yeah Like ham sort of like runs away crying like the end of the prom Yeah, it's like it's like iguana, which leads to the... Don't you know? iguana's our girl's best friend. What? What? What?

Hey. You're very strange. And then the joke there, because this is an audio medium, and I think I mentioned earlier, is that the iguana has a diamond necklace, and during that scene, it's not a very... It's not a very... She's not patting the iguana, she's swapping the diamonds onto her wrist. Mm. Yeah.

Okay. Fine. But Bond has to get Pam back, which he does, By like having, having set them up thusly, he jumps off the fucking balcony. Yeah. Cool. And he gets that like fucking Welsh frack, Farah shit. And then,

then, uh, it throws a bunch of maggots into a face. He and they kiss, it has those kind of like curiously elite Jack AC's vibes that I don't know how I can put my finger on. It's weird. It's like this kind of sensation that like, oh, none of these people knew what was going to happen with everything after this.

Yeah. The Cold War ended just after this movie. Yeah. This is like they don't know that this is like... This is the, they're at the end of history. history Yeah, you can kind of get that vibe. Yeah, this is the end of fucking around and we are about to enter the era of finding out That's right six years later when I hear you see why they needed six years to retool this shit because this is this is the end of point of It's the end point of cold war bond It's I don't know it's almost. It's the end point of Cold War Bond.

It's... I don't know. It's almost like a soft reaper. After this one. And it's really strange. And it's got this sort of like low lighting. It's at night. And it's like...

Yeah. There's a real sort of like, end of the party vibe. Yeah. It ends up like a very wide still of them in the pool, but then I got sent to it. It feels like they didn't really have anything left. It's like, well, I guess that's that's it. That's it. That's the thing. That's the stream, maybe. Oh, I didn't make it a whole new for six years. It's slightly before this bond does call Felix, who is in hospital having lost an army leg and a wife and who is like,

I'm bonds like we got him buddy and Felix is like, yeah, fucking get it dude, I'm happy now. I'm having a great time. This is like cheers man, I didn't ask you to do this. Yeah, why am I still dead by the way? It's like I'm going to come back in a years, but I'll be black and you'll be down break both legs Hey remember the time I got mold by a sharp when I was there time I lost my legs Yeah, man, absolutely That's right and it ends on like this night time wide shot over the credits of Bake Panama City and it's a little bit of like long. I don't know how to do this one.

Because I think we know that history was ending. Yeah, I think we were explaining this better than we did our vibe of vibe report at the end of the horizon. We're picking up on the vibe. We're slowly getting through it. Like they were at the end of history and they didn't know it. And you can tell. Yeah, there's like there's going to be a big, big gear change in between this and our next episode, which is going to be gold night. It's almost like they could just go in now. What? Yeah. And it's that you were about to find out what? Because it's the 1990s. So it's actually no exactly the music that you were about to find out what because it's the 1990s. I actually know exactly the music that you would be playing over this moment.

I mean, man, this was a bit of a surprise for you. Yeah, well, what is it? No, I know. No, because you have a very specific music that you use in the background, where things are getting a little bit creepy. And that's what I'm imagining now. But then we talk about a very strange thing happened. Yeah, yeah. Cause history.

Because history did not end. The greatest tragedy is before human history. And also, all of the, it's like another weird thing about the 80s vibe. All of the luxury goods don't like, they look old but also not. Because all of those things are kind of like still around but now they look old whereas like before this those things are like antiques now whereas here they're just older things and you can kind of see like you know a anastomatin or like a castier dress or whatever that are the the heist of their luxury. And it feels, I don't know, I think we've seen

a change in the way that we're gonna think about the ACES, right, now that we're in the 2020s, and now that we're in, we're really in it. Because there was a time when ACES nostalgia was like fun and harmless, right? And it was like, I remember like boom boxes and the wood swell pattern. And now the 1980s are

starting to seem like the 1920s where you're like you guys have no idea. You didn't know what was about to happen. You spent your time on this. It's genuinely such a sort of like So just sort of like, Antebellum vibe, and I don't... Enjoy yourself, enjoy yourself, it's later than you think. Ah, and with... But much like the Soviet Union, we have a science-based system. Yeah, it's called Marism Lennonism. Yeah, it's called the St.O. ism, not kill you. Yes, I think.

Have a lot of you, maybe. Or you do even more successful by casts. Number one, Vava Lava. I fucking love Vava Lava. I will defend him to the last. I mention him every time I'm talking about anything in class. I seriously found it. It's used to bring about multiple times. A lot of love. So it's called the scum system. Smart, cultural and sensitivity, and preferred violence, and misogyny. How do we feel this film rates in terms of smart?

I think it's quite low. I mean, all of it was done by scientists. Yeah, it is. Exactly, yeah. Like, in less than a month, there's one thing that combines smart and misogyny in this movie, which is, Why can't you be my executive secretary?

Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Yeah, that is fucked. It's a little bit of smarm, just a little bit. That's... Yeah. How do we feel about a... Well, is it more or less than the living daylights?

Ooh. Are you? Less. Less, genuinely. Yeah, living daylights was a three. It's a two. So do we, how do we film two? Lights was a three. That's a two. So do we, how do we film two?

I'm not a bit of a little bit of a... So that means Dalton is our least SMARMI bond. That's true, that's a far... That checks out to me. No. Cultural insensitivity. Oriental's drop without warmth. Let's go ahead and know that Bond has zero jurisdiction of anything he's doing.

He is operating a one-man revenge quest in Latin America. That's true. I feel like the names of Latin America are perhaps the ninjas. I feel like Latin America isn't exactly portrayed with new ones. No, perhaps not. Um, it's the cultural sensitivity and it seems more casual than, yeah, it's more more incidental. And then we put this one on Latin Americans in this movie have exactly two modes and it

is either having a good time, a little bit of a party, doing a shaky hip thing or killing people in the weirdest way you can imagine. And there is literally no middle ground between these. Yes, you're right. That's true. I have a very chill or like weird, I'm not chill. Yeah, it's binary. Yeah, I could go. I could actually I could even go over because there's not that much culture than the low end delights more. Yeah, really? No, that would be up five. I would say more because as I said, no,

in the day that's one on himself is not that particularly, he's in Afghanistan but he's not like saying any shit against the Afghan people, he's if anything, quite complimentary towards them, he's just raising them a jihadine. Yeah. Mm-hmm. He's not so much, he's a little bit more culturally insensitive here.

But, not by that much. I would actually, I put it put it on par I think. Five you think? I think it's a lot of evidence. I think it's a lot of evidence. Unprovoked violence on the other hand. In honor of the film we should rename this one to unlicensed violence and it's 10. I think it is a 10. I think we've got to hit a 10. I think whatever we did for racism in living that diet, this is for unprovoked violence. I think we did, I think we might have gone to an Acer a 9 there. So like, yeah, it was a 9. I was going nine to this. Yeah, it was a nine. Uh, misogyny. Let me, let me, let me,

so just let me pull that drop up again. Why can't you be my executive secretary? So yeah, little bit, little tiny bit. Um, on the other hand, Pam is being portrayed as like a sort of capable field agent? Another one of the other reasons that this This film is quoted as being Not a Bond film is the fact that

There is a strong female character Which is one of them even on the IMD It's like it is a violent film with a strong female characterization. It's not a neat fit with the others. Which is interesting. Yeah, it's cool that she talks back to Bond. She's like, fuck you. Like, I'm a fucking army pilot. Like, get wrecked.

But also, he does get the girl in the end. Every woman finds him desirable when the desires are ported. They act like children Yes, that's a fair point. I don't think I'd be willing to go lower than a four and I'm tempted to say higher I mean living daylights was a five yeah, we got a five again. Yeah, yeah, I'll have it a par Yeah, that leaves us with a total score of 21 which is higher than the last one. It's about average for Bond. I mean, the most defensive one we've had is still living that day on 28.

But so, you know, he's about kind of in the middle slightly higher than the middle. Tracks, I think. It's a fact, I think. We have two other things that we do. Yeah, we have an emotion-based metal system. Yes, we, much like you, if you have purchased them, have the Krunstein-Rosez and the Goodnight Cross. Krunstein-Rosez, which goes to any villain who has gone above and beyond

with very little, with no respect. You know, this is underappreciated villain that really fucking went for it, to which I would say genuinely I think Daria. Because there's not that many named guys, I think Daria is the one. I think so. I think so. Although, what about the accountant there? The rummage. Because what about the other guy whose name I don't remember, who is constantly like,

no, the other other guy whose name I don't remember who is constantly like no the other other guy Who's name I don't remember who tries to fire a sting a missile a bond in the truck That's pretty like Above and beyond the call of duty wouldn't you say like everything's been blown up at this point just leave but He just hangs out. I don't remember that guy. I was named so It is for like due to an overlooked. So. I mean, based in the same spirit that we gave the hard hat villain in, uh,

views with kill. He was dedicated to like rules based villainy. I'm not, I want to nominate the accountant because he's like, we made a deal with the Chinese. Like we need to honor this. Like, this is a fucking ramp. Like, this is how we do our operation. Like, he's the one who's actually invested in the villainous plan.

We're in the bottom of the room and large. We're in the bottom of the room and large. Exactly. So we got the good night cross. Good night cross to the sharky. Good night cross to the sharky. Sharky, you're right. Best of like sharky. Best of like You're right. You're right.

Best of luck. Sharky. Sharky. Let's get O-7s going into it for Sharky. Yeah. Hey, you're going to win the shark pops up and it's like who need the Sharky? Yeah. Sharky is like right now despite the fact that his name is Sharky, which I believe his name is sharky.

You've got to take the name away. And if you're going to react like that. Fucked up. So what are we going to do next time? Let's see. We are radically reimagining Bond for a post Cold War world. New year, new May, new Pierce Brosnan Bond. In Golden Eye.

That's the game. Yeah, like the game, like the video game. Like the video game, Golden Eye. I bet the game would also fill. It's just a bit entering a new decade. That's right. In 1990s. 1990s.

Modernity clips. Where were? Ever closer. We're in that weird zone where we are entering the modern world But neither 9 11 nor the financial crash have happened just yet Just a little bit of time a lot of people are like well, maybe everything's gonna be okay. Yeah, oh, yes Thank you Only to say thank you Patreon if you want to go there. Yeah, cause we watched a fucking banger of a movie for the bonus feed that comes out next.

Spike is too. He should listen to that. Hell yes. Hmm. Oh yeah, baby. All right, we will see you with his Brosnan. When James Bond will return. Thank you for listening to this very special audio nightmare of a podcast. I edited this one because our dear friend and producer Nate was taking some time off for a well-deserved break. Heal James Bond will return in two weeks' time to discuss Golden Eye.

That's right, it was giving six years ahead, and we've brought our dear friend Matty Luchansky on to have a chat with us regarding the first attempt to reboot the Bond series with Yes and Rosnan. But if two weeks is simply too long for you to wait and you want more content, or Killchains Bond or more guests, you can head on down to patreon.com slash Killchains Bond and the next week we'll be posting our episode on who will be your spy kids who, with special guest Tom Walker, Brackets Australian. Speaking, of course of our patrons, we would be nothing about the support of our 15 pounds and above patrons, and those are...

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