Upstream - S2E18: The Helicopter Spies

Episode Date: February 9, 2023

This week, UNCLE strike a bargain with a reformed ex-villain to help them crack into a reclusive scientist's safe and steal a superweapon, Napoleon forgets he's in an UNCLE film, and Ilya debuts his new Tactical Drip... ------ THE WINTER OF CONTENT: THE FINAL MONTH If you do feel you have money to spare, please consider supporting your local food banks with money or time! donate to the Trussell Trust here: https://www.trusselltrust.org/make-a-donation/ or the Independent food aid network here: https://www.foodaidnetwork.org.uk/donate Additionally, please consider joining a renter's union like ACORN, as rising mortgage rates will surely result in rising rent, here: https://www.acorntheunion.org.uk/join ------ Consider supporting us on our reasonably-priced patreon! https://www.patreon.com/killjamesbond ------ *WEB DESIGN ALERT*  Tom Allen is a friend of the show (and the designer behind our website). If you need web design help, reach out to him here:  https://www.tomallen.media/   Kill James Bond is hosted by Alice Caldwell-Kelly, Abigail Thorn, and Devon. You can find us at https://killjamesbond.com and https://twitter.com/killjamesbond

Hello and welcome to the episode of Kill James Bond that we're recording now in the year 2023. I'm sort of hedging my bets on whether I'm going to avoid the first episode of the year thing this time. I am Alice Cordo Kelly. I'm joined as always by my friends Abigail Thorne and Devon. Hey, how you doing? We're working our way steadily and frankly alarmingly quickly through the man from Uncle Films.

I don't want them to be over. I'm having too much fun. We've got a couple, we've got a few more to go yet. Another month of Uncle, sorry, two months from a listeners perspective. Wow, but yeah, so this is the helicopter spies. And let me tell you right up front, the helicopter spies, we've done a lot of things previously about how the titles do not marry up. In this case, shot one. It nailed it. Finally, they nailed it.

Yeah, yeah. My first note says, uh-oh, although that's because the title card builds it as a village in Africa. My first note is also, oh no. However, my second note is, those are spies in a fucking helicopter baby. We did it. That's right. That's right. The helicopter spies, and we start with Napoleon Solo and Ely Kuriyakhan.

And nice little, as the internet plane database, hopefully informs me bell 47G helicopter. And the internet is like that. Yeah, basically, if you want to find out what anything in a movie is, you just type internet thing database, and there will be a thing, like if I want to identify, the sex you, right, from one of the previous uncle movies, I just went to the internet, like car movie database. I've been on like the internet movie Firearm database for shit like this before. Like, this is the hidden secret of all research. Is you just Google, you know, that plus database,

you'll find a website helpfully maintained by, you know, very nice, obsessive people. Good idea. But so, so long, Kuryak and are in the helicopter because they're visiting a village in East Africa that has been attacked by one of those machines that used to draw road markings. a village in East Africa that has been attacked by one of those machines that used to draw road markings. Some villain, some fiend has drawn big red lines over all of these buildings. Could you give me a minute to figure out those meant to be like laser burns? Somebody's like gone out with paint. Yeah, I've got red lights. Sorry about that. It's kind of the same effect as a young man. oh god, I think it might be gold finger.

No, no, no, it was the man with the golden gun maybe, where they like blow up every like one of, they put like a Chinese missile side of the way that they do that effect is they like have a guy in the front go, ah, and then they like turn up, they put like a red filter on the lens, he just turns red, because he's being hit by a laser, much the same here. But the village has been almost destroyed. There is everyone has dared apart from one dude, one white dude, incidentally, since we are in East Africa. And they get to this one dude who is like operating a radio and then has been hit by the laser. He has a big red sort of beam. He's been really badly burned. He's very, very hurt. I looked it up on the internet pain database.

Yeah, it's got a bunch of like schmitz sting index stuff on there. But yeah, so he's sort of like incoherent, although he does manage to say, I should never have caught that. I always say in this. Uh-huh, uh-huh. She got the red line. Um, and they go to try and evacuate him, but assess, like a little dual engine plane overhead, notices their transmission. And they're like machine gun in this hut. The guy dies.

They machine gun them and then they fire lasers at him. Yes, yeah. And they get sort of like chased through the remnants of this village by the big line painting laser. And I'm able to escape it by sort of like diving into water. But this is the point where we do this of like fast motion, like uncool opening sequence. And by this point, I don't know if it's just Stockholm syndrome, but I just genuinely have a like a, you know, an affection for this. I'm like, that's my answer. Yeah, yeah, it's fun. Yeah.

Michael and yours. There he is. And you already know how these movies go because you've sort of like listened to these, you've watched them with us. You can sketch it all out already. And it's easy, right? Like the weird line drawing laser has a beautiful daughter

in exotic location. Yeah, of course it does. And, you know, Napoleon's going to have to smack the laser. Sack the laser. And then the laser is going to die in an ironic way. I didn't know I did to be known here. Napoleon isn't shagging anyone's daughters, and he hasn't for several movies at this point.

He's never living it down from his own story. He straight up doesn't be shagging. He doesn't play the movie. He's never living it down from his straight up. He's straight up. This doesn't. He's been to wavily set him up with his niece. Yeah. Never come. Um, so that's it. They did the opening of this film differently, actually, because we go to an island off Greece. We do. And, uh, with an entire second helicopter, we are spoiled for helicopters. Which helicopters this, um, it's also a Bell 47G of a slightly different variety. It doesn't have floats on it.

I can give you the tail number if you want. No, I mean, no, sorry, it's time. Thank you. But solar lines are the job. I need further questions. And there's some dudes in a cult who are chilling in ropes. Yeah, because we're aware now at this point in the 60s, it's the 68, we're aware that cults exist.

And so, the guys in weird droves are listening to a very old man who is sort of like meditating in total silence. And so, look, Gets out of the helicopter and using the, like, muzzle of his pistol flips a bunch of their hoods down, revealing some very white hair until he gets the right guy, he gets his man, who is this guy with dark hair and beard, and it's like you're coming with me. And this is Mr. Sebastian, who we are informed, is it kind of like legendary and extremely wanted criminal, especially a specialist in safe cracking, and he's hiding out here. Rubber balls, we've got a job for you.

Look, if you amnesty, if you do this thing for us. This, this act of, by the way, is Bradford Dillman, who is great in this. Yeah, he does a great job. Fuck goes off. He's so good. And it's also like, it's unusually good exposition for the man from Uncle to just be like, oh, no, we're just gonna introduce this character as like, yeah, he's on some cult shit in order to flee

his 22 international arrest warrant. And so I was like gonna coerce him into working with Uncle. Yeah, and this is my opinion, and I'm asked, doesn't agree, but I think the man from Uncle's films have gotten too good. I miss the goofy days of like, spy with my face or like, operation robot. Like, this is, it's too good and it's too professional.

It's like when a YouTuber gets too big and then the production values get too high and you're just like, I remember when it was like scrappy and she used to just film stuff in front of a bookcase. What happened? Like, it's too good now. Yeah, everyone's not even the most well-paid person in Uncle anymore. I'm hearing. I just, I can't help but realize this relationship with Robert Vaughan anymore. I'm hearing. I just I can't help but for this relationship rubber for anyone. I can fall more in a failure at this point. Yeah. Yeah. So we find out that this

cult, by the way, it's called the third way and they believe when this old man speaks, he hasn't he's taken a vow of silence like 20 years, when he speaks, they will inherit the earth. And he seems like he's about to say something and he can't just say it so when he's like, ah, no. He thought he had something to say and then he decided against it.

Like mood, honestly, I'm all like this all the fucking time. I was like, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So they put him on a plane with wavily where a couple of things happen. First of all, Sebastian, like, looks,

takes one look at this laser and he goes, oh, it's a prison beam. I tried to make one of those ones, which is such a great thing. That's a good, so good. So, drop into conversation like, yeah, yeah, it used to be a super villain, didn't work out for me, but, you know, yeah. It's so good to be a real form super villain, man. It's so fucking funny. It's like, I was just super criminal, and then I was just like, well, I think I'll just do like normal crime.

She sees it. Yeah, yeah, it's great. I was a super villain. I got paroled, you know, I got reformed. It's like a real. To record. I used to have a volcano base, but it's not really my scene anymore.

For redness insane. Oh, I was dropping people in a lava for just pleasing me all the fucking time, but honestly, nowadays unions, you can't do it, you can't do it anymore. Yeah, I mean, because they changed the hench app. He did, yeah. The project it turns on.

Waverly, waverly fucking just roasts Sebastian doing a SEM Lord. Like, it's such a great Patricia. Really funny. If he gets it in the thing, and he's just like, he's going through a CV. He must efficiently, criminally oriented man with advanced degrees in engineering physics and chemistry.

Apparently you avoided the humanities. Yeah, why didn't you take any humanities classes? Fun, he's a shank on. The value of a liberal arts education. It's nothing now, it's ridiculous. It's insulting. game can't the value of a liberal arts education. It's nothing now. It's ridiculous. It's insulting.

And so anyway, they say somebody has developed this thing, a thermal prism. And if it ever gets put into orbit, then that's a super weapon. Because then you can't just later reveal it. You later a whole lot. Dr. Carmousie. Dr. Carmousie, the famous Iranian or Persian,

they say, scientist. And at this point, tactical, elia enters. Yeah, we don't think it's tactical, because he's wearing a like a 1942 frog skin pattern, like, tunic, which goes for about 700 quid for an origin. And a white silk scarf, which kind of makes his neck area a massive target, but whatever. And he pulls down a slide of the most unhelpful map I've ever seen. Of which the salient points are Dr. Carmosey's house, rocks next to the house. Maybe it's got a security system we don't know. And it's got like a guard tower. Yeah. And he's like, okay, you and I are going to parachute out of this very plane right now.

And we're going to go and we're going to infiltrate this. Well, so totally, it's fine. Shit. It's like, we're going to start the mission by jumping out of the plane. We're currently on. Yeah. It's sick. You are, you are like the world's greatest safe cracker and you know, the safe has a beautiful daughter that you're supposed to make love to. We're going to get you into Dr. Komu's house. You crack up in the safe, steal the thermal prism, Bob's your uncle, the world's safe. Yeah, jobs good. And incidentally, my boy Napoleon Solo, he's going to be on the inside.

Turning off the security system. And we're going to cut to him now. And Solo arrives at the airport in Tehran, which they still spell with two ease. And we get, first of all, I was hoping. I was like, on the fence, are they going to do the OSS Sunday set thing of goes into the airport and someone goes, he just left and follows him and they fucking do it. Yeah. But that's not even the best part.

He hangs up the phones like make his contact. He leaves and a guy wearing the traditional Iranian Fez question mark. The traditional wide sort of like handlebar moustaches goes, he just left and enters the fucking scene. Fezfuss. Love the sky. Incredible, incredible look on this guy. Yeah, it's Jack as well.

The character's name is Hassan. Oh, sir. Yeah, yeah. Just a big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, just a big, big audience. You know, it's wonderful. It's something that stood out to me is we're in Iran and the way that the film portrays Iran is totally normal. Nowadays, I feel like if we cut to Iran as a location, first of all, we would have the non-copyright dude just be like, and there would be a yellow filter on it, there would be

a lot of people walking around in robes, the streets of people of sand. We cut to Iran and it's just like a normal country. This is people that walk around. Yeah, this is of the time when, you know, trads like to go, oh, we'll see women wretched or now, but like then they used to wear miniscoots, wasn't it better? But yeah, one of the sort of like attendant things of that is you can make a man from Uncle movie, set it there and be like, you don't need to do anything other than Southern California. Incidentally, the actor who plays this guy, H.M. Winner, apparently, still alive. 95 years old.

Wow. Is he Turkish or Iranian or even close? I'm on high and winnant in Detroit, Michigan, so I think it's safe. No. So my my nose, this is the first note that I wrote in all caps of many that I wrote in all caps, could have really enjoyed this movie. It was just like, yo, what's up? But so, so low, so low goes, he's got his instructions where to go. You get to the address, the door is padlocked. And I go, ah, padlock has a beautiful daughter. You're going to have, and right as I write that down, right as I write that joke down to make, he looks across the square and sees a beautiful woman in a very short

dress. And I'm like, fuck, say, that's the padlock has a beautiful, that's the padlocked daughter. So let's see is an American blonde that is immediately distracted from his mission, which is very relatable? I think it's so funny as well, because it's like, this is Napoleon Solo business mindset, right? You arrive in a location, if you see someone stare dead at you, assume that there your contact go over and introduce yourself by name.

How do you open? Tell them your name. Yeah. Hello, my name is Napoleon Solo. I'm a spy. I think we hit him. Meet me. She goes, no. But he was. Yeah. And his style appears behind the noxum out. Yeah. Yeah. He has a he has like a blackjack sap. So I'm not counting this as an uncle chop. And in fact, this is an uncooled shoppless movie as best I remember. Normally, normally, I stop it and I record the time for a first Uncle Chop, there isn't one in this.

But so tragedy. He gets knocked unconscious. Meanwhile, Ilya and Sebastian make worst parachute landing ever asked to leave. They just fall over and it's terrible. And they're forced to evade two guys who, although we see them only dimly, are wearing sick guard uniforms. Yeah. Second all caps notes. Do you want to try and describe this fit that? Oh, I'm afraid I don't have the screenshot to pull back from the fit. The fit for this is what I would describe as sort of polyester, navy, full tracksuit, but with like white V chevrons over the chest. Yeah. Navy beret with a big white chevron on that too.

They look like, I don't even know what they look like, but they look great. It looks like a sort of knock off a deedis effect. Meanwhile, Solo wakes up and this American blonde is like very apologetic about having knocked him unconscious. And she's like my, a very sort of wasp-y way. My fiance is in Turkish prison. She says Turkish my every sort of waspy way. My fiance is in Turkish prison. She says Turkish prison every time. It's very funny.

He's in Turkish prison, which is worse than regular prison. That's the reason in Turkey. They put a movie in Turkish prison. Nice express is gonna come out about this in a while. Next decade. This is Annie. And she says, oh, you're an uncle. I said, you're working with Mr. Sebastian, the cult guy.

He framed my fiance and put him in Turkish prison. Put him in Turkish prison. His cellmate is the brother of this big guy, Hasan, who's a circus strong man, because of course he is. He's on some me screen, greasiness. Yeah. And so Hasan opens up his six knives case So low. So he goes sigma on this shit. He's like, he sits up and goes, frankly, I don't care who

you are or who you are. I've got a mission to do it. He like goes to a door and go, no, no, no, no, you're gonna experience our silly bullshit now. And he's like, alpha. Yeah, you have to do it. It's very so of fastened my blush. They've taken the bullets out of his gun. So yeah, her son opens his six knives, breaking down on them. Because he goes to leave and she gets in the way of the door

and her son's there too. And Napoleon's only just tastes his gun out. And he's like, look, I don't want to hurt anyone. And it's like, fucking hell, when did Napoleon solo not have time for the man from Uncle Series? He's just like, look, I've got shit to do now, all right? I've got to go. For the one day of the year where I do work, like, he went to rehab

after the events to just spy with my face. He doesn't call pussy from the office anymore or drink before he comes in. He's business now. He's on the grind. Yeah, so someone put him in a chastity cage in between movies. I swear to God.

It was hell yeah. But so Hassan opens his six knives briefcase, the briefcase in which he keeps his six knives. Indeed. That's right. And yeah, fucking, and he's like, he used to be a circus actor. There you go. Oh, fuck. Fuck. He's gonna do the fucking knives thing. And he does. It's really funny that the side characters in this film keep trying to remind Robert Vaughn

that this is the man from Uncle, like we do goofy silly shit on the side and he's like, I have a gun. Get the fuck out of my way. Yeah, I'm out of my way. Doesn't work. I owe to be interrogated, but I kind of waspy won in this kind of petition

well, I don't want to hurt you, but my friend has a temper sort of way. Yeah. Yeah, so unfortunately, he throws all of his knives, goes to retrieve one of the knives and so I just like kicks him in the dick. Again, absolutely no tolerance for this kind of bullshit. At this point, a milf walks in and shoots her son dead. And so and Sola's reaction is like, damn, sucks to suck. She, she like this, this is all Nazalia helps him escape in her Rolls Royce silver ghost, which rules, as he gets in, Sola's just like, did you have to kill him and she just goes,

yes, we'll never know. Haft, yes. She said, this is a Zalia, this is his actual contact. And okay, there was no way they were going to get a Rolls-Royce to look fast, but they really do a lot with fast motion to try and convey. She's a dangerous drive. Really funny. Really, just visually not a fast car. Just the sped up, but it's so good. So she briefs him being his real contact, and she goes, yeah, you're going to have to like pretend to be an American businessman with a mysterious past. But Dr. Carmose is like very,

very astute and he'd like see through you if you make the slightest mistake in any way. They get to the his house. Also, she's his wine. Yeah. And let me tell you, this house has some decor. We're talking about like sort of one piece of patent wallpaper and a big standing statue. And she just leaves Solo in the sort of like foyer for a bit. And they do the bit from you only live twice again, but they're just like, oh yeah, we're just shooting fucking Heller X-rays at this man's balls. We are annihilating this motherfucker's sperm count in order to establish how armed he is. And the answer is, you fucking isn't even. He just ditched the gun, even though they gave him his bullets back. He's just got like

the sole mess all they find on him is pocket change keys and like two fillings. Just very funny You're in Sebastian meanwhile. It's sneaking around outside Waiting on like the border of the estate some goons find them and Elias buys them and Sebastian notably does not help at all Yeah, yeah, it's great Like the other stage. Yeah, yeah, it's very Sebastian like literally he stands there like sort of like of like mopping his sweat with a handkerchief and going, like, oh, the violence is your department, darling. He is sort of somewhat a feminine

code in an interesting way here. But so, Solo is, it's like captured in the James Bond way of, like, here is your luxurious courses, din's at eight. Um, he comes down for dinner. Yes. And yes, yes. Listen, I thought that we had peaked on scene entrances with the fucking town in the previous one, where he's just walking in the goes, I am the count. Um, no, this is close.

Also, the luxury has not been attained. Yes. This is, this is all, maybe one of the top 10 like, entrances I've ever seen in any movie genuinely. Because this guy, this guy, Dr. Carmose, who he's got this little tiny mustache with the flicks and everything, he's like, oh, he's got his really intense eyes.

He comes down on a chair lift in the middle of the room, sat down pushing, like a lever. Like an elevator, like a lift. And the best part about this is he's smoking a cigar, he's holding a handkerchief in the same hand, he's totally relaxed. And then when the lift gets to the bottom, it very visibly fucks up and like, shalt him a bit. And the two best parts about this are, hey, that was the take they used. And B, he does not flinch at all. It just perfectly knows that.

And he stands up and he goes, and apparently in the cell, I presume. And so, those response is the classic, like, shot of him staring and then he glances away for a second and looks back. Which is my favorite thing that so that's just that slight moment of you seeing this shit. And then back to serious. It's meant to be a rating. He does not.

He's white. He does not. Not a like. No, this is John Dana who did a lot of like Weston's and curiously was most associated with like Soviet methods of acting teaching. He was big into his son of a class. Biggest sausage. Oh, interesting. So he was, he like, he had trained with like the Moscow art theatre and in order to like, I guess, do this. But he does the sort of like the classic villain thing of being like as fucking James Bond

I know who you are. You're fucking James Bond. Yeah, we also get a hint from him that he's involved in a sexual scandal with some of his own students. Yeah, yeah, the way he approaches this is. Okay, we're now negotiating for which of the superpowers wants to buy the prison thing from me. I will get very wealthy and very powerful off of this, which is as well, right? Because my wife is the only woman who stands by me after Operation Youtry. First, you know genuinely like, how does Dylan do the job? And the face of it, their allegations won't do with the Chris. Illegation is concerning anonymous phone calls to young ladies.

The deep state of accused me of being a nonce, but that'll all see what I've got my space laser. Yeah, all right. Escape the Matrix. Escape the Matrix. The Matrix will come for you if one of these does. He is also smoking a cigar, but he's young ladies. Very, very undertape.

Manoeuvre, all his cars have been seized. He's in a Romanian prison. He's in a Romanian prison. He's in a Romanian prison. Oh, no. Oh, no. Yeah. I don't want to hear about you and your dodgy mates

creating a thermal prison in space. A thermal prism? That's poor guy shit. Um... The government gives you that thermal prism for free. At this point, um, somebody goes, oh, Mr. Solo, your wife is here. And because he isn't James Bond,

he's like, oh, yes, I won't just immediately go, wife, what? And he in runs Annie. He's like, I'm Napoleon Solo's wife. Hello, dear. And Kamu, she's like, oh, I guess I won't show you the film or prison right now because, you know, you obviously want to hang out with your wife, cool, whatever. Ascend into the season. Is it interesting? Yeah, I think you get to get a shot. You get a lift back up. Yeah, he gets back up.

That's right. He leaves her there. No, she's lounging. She's not even doing shit in the scene. She's just that. She gives me like a neck massage, like Solo is scandalized by. Also, Solo is like so impatient, this whole movie, he's like showing the prison, showing the prison. Why don't we look at the prison now? And he's like, no, no, no, no, Mr Solo, Mr Solo, how delightfully loose, please, let me tell you about...

Please, let's take advantage of some like... The villain and spy banterter and he's like, now I'm here to be a fucking bitch. Look at him with that. Come on mate, come on. I'm fucking. Let's have a gander. I want to like transpose this solo back to earlier movies.

If you had tried to play full human-sized chess with this solo, he would have run across the board, e4 to King's Bishop and chin to you. I think at some point between the last movie and this one, Sandy from the old film sat down and had a word and it was like, if you're fucking late to dinner again, we are through. And he's like, I'm not breaking it. I'm gonna do it. Is it changed, man? In fairness, so unfair and trying.

Is that out of roll? and he's just like right. In fairness to Kimosi, he immediately goes into his control room, and he's like, right, the Russian one will be along in a minute. So upgrade all of the security, you know, find out what they're saying to each other. And of course, we see that Sebastian and Kuryak and are like making their way across like this mine field and like climbing onto the roof, welding through the roof. And he immediately rats solo out to Kamu-C.

Yeah, she does. But there's a hysterical joke. I can't explain why I find it so funny. It's really good. She gets on the intercom and she's like, oh, can you, can I see Dr. Carmosey, please? And as soon as she shuts it off, the door opens, he's right. Yeah. It's so funny. Absolutely not. So she's like, well, that was fast. I didn't know Dr.

still made our scores. And he goes, I was going to put some time. And then immediately starts trying to know. So it's like he goes, I was going to put some time. And then immediately he starts trying to make a turn. It's like, I don't think. He approaches her and I think there's some rumours. Not sure if I'm true. Yeah, he's not beating the allegation. I think your ass was DMing those students, mate. I gotta be honest with you.

It's so funny, imagine, like sliding into DMs is such a low stakes thing to do, right? This is 1968 and he's like, I was sending letters to underage students. It's like, bro, you call that like a pen and quill to put these shit together. You're like, further to my previous message, attached polaroid of my dick and balls. You are, but the U is like a like fucking long-hawn,

like a mook. Yeah, look, I am from Dr. Katmosi. You're up, stop. He's on a rotary phone like, and you describe the feet to me. The fuck say. What is the situation with the feet? I'd be so fucked if anyone asked me that man,

like what do you say? I was like normal style. Yeah, I've been good. I've been good. I've been fine. I've been fine. I guess. I've been fine. So, but he's standing fine. Standard. I guess. Standard type of thing. So, but she she pulls a gun on him, but he has like had the bullets taken out of it. The second sort of like gun deep bulletization and this movie.

And she's also like Napoleon Solo is a spy and he's like, yeah, no, he's like, yeah, obviously. And so she immediately folds and she's like, okay, well, just so long as you like, give me Sebastian, he's like, I don't know who that is, give me Sebastian so I can get my brother out of Turkish prison. And I'm saying, you don't have to have Romanian prison. I have Romanian prison.

And he's like, yes, okay, if you do something for me, that's only about the feats that you are. So, I want to say that you're a trapped in a room that's slowly filling with sand. And he says, first of all, I love the line, turn on the sand. It's really fucking good. Yeah. And then he turns to Ali and is like, yeah, this used to run on water, but that's a fucking commodity here in a desert. So we turned it in a sand instead. What water is a precious commodity in the desert? So we converted this device to sand, which means he bought

like the Uncle Agent Drowning Device out of a cash wall. Like this is after market additions to a killing device. He's like, yeah, we bought this out of the catalog and ran a water bottle, but honestly, we've got, we've not got enough water. He modded his thing, turned it into a sand trap. You saw it, sparking water. Yeah. There's also this fascinating line that we somewhat

skipped over a little bit. Where it's earlier is showing solo around the shop shop and she shows him to the fucking room where the safe is and then immediately tries to move him on with the line. Perhaps you'd like to see the doctor's collection of poison mushrooms. I was like, yeah, fuck I'm working. It's on Ireland between fucking Japan and Russia. I think about it with his toxic treasures so often. But yeah, sorry, Manak, I'm sorry, Manak, you just...

No, it's bad. But so now seeing that Azalea has betrayed him and it's like getting sanded up with him, he delivers another baffling line. It was hard to get a good drop of this, but it was... another baffling line. It was hard to get a good drop of this, but it was um... I shouldn't have known, never to trust a woman who's always on time. Yeah, fast asleep. What? What? Oh, additionally, during this secret, I wrote that right, my note is this fucking guy has limitless swag. Because what happens? Yeah. Because one of his guards comes up to him and does the classic like, I'm sorry, I

failed you one time, sir, thing, right? He was like, Oh, yeah, two of our guys got knocked out in the desert and it comes. He's like, well, why didn't you fucking tell me about this? And he's like, we didn't want to bother you before we take care of it. And I'm in it. And he goes, anyone can make a mistake and then pulls out like a fucking engagement box made a solid gold, which opens up points at the guard. The guard takes the single pill that is within, eats it, eyes instantly.

When government see turns back to Adi and goes, but not just anyone can work for me. And I was like, Oh, fuck! Incredible, huh? Like super fire aud audience being like, Oh, shit. But also pointless.

What management style is that? You had a fucking solid gold tiny box of one pill in and the garden knows what he has to do. Like how often has this come up for that? And he just doesn't even look nervous. He's just like, where are the fairs? You got me. You got me surf as far. Look who? What? I would have put it under my tongue as a

tended to die and then walked out later. If you put it under your tongue, it gets absorbed more quickly and you get bigger tits. I'm always taking the pill that kills me instantly sublingually. That's fine. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it like pans down to me, totally dead on the floor by F-Cut. I'm putting some water on the pill that kills you, and I booth again. It doesn't really do anything extra,

but it's just, it's kind of a minor pass. It's more of a true thing. It's just like, yeah. Yeah. It's just like, yeah. It's just like, yeah. It's just like, yeah. It's just like, yeah.

It's just like, yeah. It's just like, yeah. It's just like, dead. Transition, shit, comment, taking pills, get an interest, stage work. I goof on the pill that kills me instantly. I hit the ground. They go to check my pulse, but like, they're already stone cold. But I've got fucking knockers. What about that? What about that Brandon fucking Kronerberg, an idea fucking movies. Yeah.

Yeah. So that says a lot about society when you think about it. It should let us direct a movie. We did it. It was called Casino Royale 1967. Oh yeah. They should let us do another one. I think we've heard it.

So Elya and Sebastian do miss the impossible shit. She's fucking crying. Oh, so Kuri Arkham. Bastion do miss the impossible shit. She's fucking crying. Oh, so Kury Arkham. Kury Arkham. It's an impossible ship. They're lowest Bastion down. Right. Because there's like sensors on the floor. And he, he breaks into the same. This is the only time in the entire franchise anyone has cared

about stealth. And it's actually really good. And plus because he like lowers him above the like alarm floor, we're now the kind of ah, they ripped that bit off from 1968. The helicopter just, I will. Guy who's only watched the helicopter spies. Another helicopter spies vibes from this. All of the infiltration scenes, by the way, are accompanied by like guys telling, guys telling, come, we see that like various circuit breakers are going off until he goes down to fix him. So this is essentially about a guy trying to just troubleshoot his smart. He's like the light bulbs aren't flashing the right colors or whatever. He really breaks into the control room and turns off the sand and like murders a man Spider-man turn off the sand. Yeah

fully just kills a guy Annie is like back on board on the basis of please don't shoot me um and and they the two run into each other literally around a corner um Sebastian opens the safe because he's a master safe cracker, takes the fucking prism, and then his screwdriver falls on the thing and sets off the alarm, which causes come we see to come in and be like, that's why my fucking smart home isn't working, only to get immediately gunned down in cold blood, killing number two that Azalea does, because again, ice cold.

That's what Sebastian does. I think Sebastian does. Oh, you're right, yeah, Sebastian does. Excuse me. And then we get the most fucking bullshit, like as he's dying, the alarm starts going off, and Azalea goes, he has a dead man switching his heart and the bass is going to self-destruct,

and it's like, what? No, the line is too velocous. Azalea's like, he told me many times, you can take it with you. Which is such a fucking like, it puts you in mind of so many things that have happened in Coversey's life. He's just been like, just get the fuck out of it. Despite all the work that we've done to save up as the villain of the film.

He's just goddad, he's dead. He's just fully dead, yeah. It's great. It's good, yeah, it's really good. We're at like the 30 minute mark and I was like, oh fuck, I thought that was the main villain. He's just god damn he's dead. He's just fully dead. Yeah, it's great. It's good, yeah, it's really good. We're like the 30 minute lock. And I was like, oh fuck, I thought that was the main villain. Yeah, no.

So they flee the house which explodes. And then Sebastian's like, ah, fucking gotcha. You thought that guy was the main villain of the movie? No, it was always that's how I'm the way better. The coach that you thought was a weird throwaway gag at the start. No, I'm actually the head of the cult. We're gonna fucking take over the world. And it's like, yeah, oh, okay.

Yeah, it's genuinely, it's a twist that I didn't see coming. No, not at all. A rare receive from me. And like, so what's really funny is that Annie gets to express her opinion about this and gets slapped down. I'm a ruse of so sorry, I lost's such a fucking nerd thing to say. It's a twist that I didn't see coming, which is a rarity for me. It's like fucking soy jackass. I'm not even the most highly, you know,

the four-sided person on Kale Jones Bond. But so Annie says, kill Jones Bond. But so Annie says, I think you people are strange, really strange, which okay fine. Yeah, but his responsibility is so fucking funny. Just Bruce Lee, like, house of all bounds of acceptability. I don't know who you are, but I have a feeling you probably deserve whatever happens to you. Just like really just like, ah, fuck you. I don't even know who you are and I'm going to kill you because you seem annoying. Yeah. They're like, Fagger. His fan, by the way, is he's like, all right, listen, I tried to make one of his

university devices before I feel like I mentioned that. But now I've got one that actually works. And I just need to go put it in space, and then we're gonna hold the world to ransom and create. We will demand a national homeland for our cult. Yep. And I wrote, no comment. No comment.

It's working out well in the past. Hey. That's right. So they tie them up. They put a bunch of explosives on the boat that's gonna meet their contact boat with Waverly on it. Solo tries to do a slightly smug like, hey, you wouldn't,

hey, you wouldn't, because in fact, that they would be like explosives on this boat, would you? And Sebastian just goes, you wouldn't, I would. Just fucking, okay, he's serving. And I wrote it, he's serving. He's got swagged up too.

The library is open and he is reading every motherfucker. You wouldn't miss a and additionally, so they send these fuckers off on the boat. And naturally, Waverly is, is somewhere I sort of lost track of what was happening. He's on like the bridge of the big book. Yeah, and Waverly, as is his one, is like, yeah, though that shit up. Yeah, he's like, yeah. He's like, he's like, he's like, and the captain goes, do you

want to do on a fire or a torpedo at them? He's like, yeah. He doesn't need to be like, no hesitation. Like two seconds maybe, and he's like, yeah. So yeah, I want to kill all my dudes. Don't give a shit. They blow up the thing. Obviously, they get free just in time to jump over the side and wavily turns a spotlight

on them and goes, you're in big fucking trouble if you don't have that prism. You're never going to see daylight again. And I'm just like, wait, it's such a... What can't I get away from this? Wait a minute, man. Wait a minute, man. Wait a minute, he is decided to do his job Everyone in this film decided to show up for work

It's like let's get this fucking shit over with But it's really impressive actually It's not just like this is what uncle is capable of when they genuinely try Hmm And then the little thing to kind of go back to a little bit more of a traditional uncle Because we go back to New York and way they go to see the horrible looking New York Sebastian has a beautiful ex-wife in her life. It's not a daughter, they changed it, they fucking changed it.

No one see her. They swapped up the fucking program. Yeah, Waverly's got this from Milfax Wife or some shirt. Let's go and see what. I really love this. I love her. So, so, so, so breaks in and turns the light on immediately. She's there to be, she perfectly understands the way this is supposed to go down. She's like, yeah, haven't seen

them in years. It's very annoying. Used to be a supervillain. I was probably in on that too. Now I'm not. And so it's like, you don't seem very perturbed by this. And she goes, yeah, no, it's like this literally all the time. The FBI show up, the CIA show up, the better business bureau show up. They all ask me the same questions. The only thing weird about you is that you're climbing in the window at an unusual time of nuts. It's so fucking funny. It's like all fuck me.

Yeah. Yeah. She has this husky male voice, which obviously big, big tick on my column. And she's like, she's like, don't make implications. She's like, the implication is that she is fucking getting domed off by whoever the FBI, the CIA and the best of business bureau send 24, seven. Yeah. She's just like, she's just a milk fry and she's hanging out on her entire thing. It's just fucking everyone they send to her. Two points.

First and foremost, you have skipped over a major thing that occurs that caused me to have asked a seedling about being called a soyjack as well. Well, you don't say soyjack shit then. I don't know. It's not my responsibility. Clean your own house up first for you, look at mine. What happens in this scene is the fucking, the light turns on, right? She's not centered in this shot. What is centered in this shot is a fucking huge bust of nature. Is she's just leaning against it and I will go,

what? And that just is not, like that's not touched. I just might explain to her anything. That's just something the prop department had on hand that was like, yeah, whatever they'll do. And her line, a line to him I found so, so fun is, she's like, oh, it's been a while since uncle's come by. I thought you guys have forgotten about me

and so I go, say, I know, we never forget. And she's like, how could you? Could you help my sick of this? Good. And then she tries to fuck him. And he's like nearly gives into it. So close. And he's like, oh, fuck this.

And it's just like leaves. This is Julie London by the way. And if you want to look up Julie London, the headshot on Wikipedia. Good Lord. All right, let's have a good time. Oh my, we got this one. Life. Oh, hello.

Hello. Hello. Yes. Oh my God. That's such a good headshot. Wow. Wow. Yeah, all right.

As long as you're not driving right now, just look at Julie London. And if you are, who has in the passenger seat to do this for you, pull over to the side of the road. Turn on your hazards and just stop and then pull it. Julie London, because they got like a legit 40s fan for town, like 20 years on, and she's great. That's such a good. I might find a backdrop that looks like that for when I'm doing portrait

certainly. Yeah. So, obviously, I'm Napoleon Solo, sexually assertive older women scam me. You're a small and gout and a full milf person. In the seal. He's like, he's fucking, I don't know whether it's the chastity cage or what, but he runs out of the room. And then she immediately goes back in to her bedroom where a shirtless dude, like incredibly ripped shirtless dude, is in her bed reading comics. And she just like picks up the phone to her husband and she's like, yeah, as we've got another one, Napoleon solo this time.

And we get this fucking incredible portrait of a marriage sort of thing where both of them are getting touched up by other people and they're still married to each other but in clearly like a not sexual way, whether they're like, yeah, no, can you just let me get back to fucking the person that I'm fucking? But like in an administrative way. And just like, split screen between the two of them and that on the phone telling each are about their fucking plans while each of them are getting their ears tunged by like a hot younger person. And it's like, I want to talk about this is what I'm going for. This is

this is ideal. Yeah, let's talk to her about her. This woman got the hunch gig of a lifetime because she was like, she applied for a bunch of shit and she got PA to this guy while also being the horneest, subbiest woman in the f**k in world. She just like me for real because I'll just play the drop. Yes, sir. I like the way you said that. It has a nice tone of spectre efficiency. Yes, sir. Keep it up.

She is so into this. Yeah. And so into him. She's yes, sir. It's, yeah. Also, by the way, the whole time he's doing this, he is wearing a white double breast in suit immaculate fantastic just just incredible unlimited

factor pieces. But we get some uncharacteristic violence for the series because Goon's Chase Solo and he just fucking shoots them. Yeah, well the thing is he calls up his security. He's like get the men stationed outside my wife's house. It's a very funny thing to say. Um, this is like, with this is a resignation that like get all of them to like put their clothes back on and then have them

kill Napoleon Solo. Um, give the boys stationed at my wife's house 10 minutes warning and then ask them to go and kill the podium sir Hopefully is yeah, and they they chase him and they try and kill him with a grenade launcher and he shoots a couple of them It's wild you see that their members of the cult as well because all the cult members have white hair Yes, he like kills a couple of them and seeing their white hair. He like takes their business card the righty card He like and seeing their white hair he like takes their business card the righty card he like hears on their radio where their next gig is on hench and he's like right I will dye my hair to blend in and go to this um and incidentally this is a really funny stupid detail that I don't

know if anyone else knows this here, which is that he's looking at their white hair, so think about it. He pulls out part of his own hair to see what color it is. Fuck, I didn't notice that. That's so good. He would just really like pull out one of his own hairs and stuff like, yeah, it's black. Okay. That's crazy. Like, I got some hair dye. So he, he poses as a member of the cult and he goes to the briefing. And Mr. Sebastian like,

Skype's in and he's like, you know, we're gonna steal a rocket, Lads. That you're so underselling where this meaning takes place, right? Yeah, because where they are at is like a fucking like, I've bar, manned by this, this last

who's they all just call mum. Really, really interesting. It like, so though walks in and mum is immediately just like, all right, listen, you're too late to get breakfast. And he's like, I want to shame. And to which one of the guys is like, oh, mum, can you turn the set on? I want to see the fucking TV.

And she's like, and she can play it all the time. She's like, oh, yeah, don't have said I'll make the breakfast. Jesus, it's tough being Mark Kathleen, Kathleen Freeman, who made a career doing basically this. Yeah, I think I've seen her in other stuff, doing this. Yeah, because because fucking Sebastian goes, yeah, we're going to steal a rocket

is being transported on this like free car train. Don't worry about it. And as they leave thing goes, yeah, we're going to steal a rocket is being transported on this like free car train. Don't worry about it. And as they leave this one, sort of like main henchman who we've been briefly introduced to in a previous scene, kissing Sebastian off, goes, you just wait, Mom, I'm going to get enough money, I'll get take you out of this place and she goes,

I like it here. And he goes, all right, and then leaves. And then as he leaves, mom goes, fucking weirdos. And that's like the end of the scene. She doesn't have a free time. It's great. So it's so fucking good. So low ducks into a bathroom to cool,

Elia and say, hey, he was skyping in from a sky, from like a TV made by this one company, but he gets cut off before he can say much. Ilya'd like tracks this down and figures out that like one of these Skype, like telepresence things has been sold to a company by the name of an organization known as three way incorporated it. Well, nice, nice, who are like working out of like a abandoned movie. I'm hoping it's something similar, but in a few weeks.

But so, yeah, also he's being followed by Annie and another identical brother of Hassan. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, both of these guys are mute, by the way, which is going to be important. Yeah. Alright. So what they're trying to do is a heist of this rocket. Solo gets sort of drawn at random to be the guy who actually has to get onto the train and do it, which means we get a third helicopter spoiled for choice.

Yeah. Helicopter spies. We did it. We did it. They. Helicopter's files. We did it. We did it. We had a deal with a helicopter company email that was like greetings, YouTuber. You were getting great engagement.

Who would love to sponsor you? Like great shadow legends. Another favorite detail, as they are laying the groundwork for this heist as a guy who cuts both the phone wires and then tears the phone itself off the wall. Sick. Which I love.

I love, you know, you know, I'm belt and braces. And here's a thing, you know what I always say about a fight on top of a train? Yeah, is that it adds a letter grade to any movie. That's right. They have a bit of a fight on the top of a train. They punch out some of the guards on the top of the train. Solo gets dropped onto the train, separates the missile car,

and it makes good his escape. What's really funny is that after they've abstracted this missile and they've got it into a truck, Carl takes him aside and and does some like, middle management shit on his. It's really good. He's like, you did a really good job, but like, I don't, I can't be seen to like show favoritism,

you understand how it is, which is just like, he's been reading the Seven Habits of highly effective people, like in bed, in between doing cult shit. And I really appreciate it. In between fucking his boss's ex-wife. Yeah. It's a tough job. Someone I really appreciate it. In between fucking his boss is ex-wife. Yeah. It's a tough job. That's what someone's going to do it. Mm-hmm. So, Elyah breaks into this movie theater. And what's really great is, Elyah,

Dave McCann was like, blonde hair. And so the first guy he sees who has bleached hair does a double take as if he's trying to like decide whether Elias like blonde passing enough to get into a location. Well, you'll never be blonde passing if you start after 20. I'm often saying this. So Elia beats him up, experiments with some suspension bondage, she just like hangs him off of a cable in the back of the theatre. And sneaks in, along with, you know, followed shortly thereafter by

Annie and like, Omar, I think, a system. Uh-huh. Don't get usurped. Yeah, the toilet is no. Absolutely not. So, you know, they're having like a, like, lots of members of the cult are coming in and they have like a briefing, which is, it's a mystical disco cult. Yeah, I wasn't expecting disco. Yeah. It's not the end of the world,

it's just the end of the 60s. Yeah, it's fucking sick. It's Eddie walks out on stage in front of all these guys and goes, God, I hope this is right, Rob. Brothers and sisters, the great, thriving f*** of the third wave and racism. I thought it was a weird line, frankly, but... Mm-hmm. Yeah.

And then just like some hippie discoshoot starts, and I'm like, yo, boys, what have we made? I'm saying hippie Israel. What about that? And I was like, yeah. I mean, for in the 60s, in the 60s, apart from the wars, Israel kind of was hippie, Israel, but it's also like a weirdly LGBT, like she talks about like, oh, society has rejected

you. Yeah. Send us your tired, you're automated, you're exploited. And I was like, okay. It's like anti-capitalist gay disco cult. All of us would go. Where do I find? At the moment.

Now we would, we would get into the big, I mean, if that, if that PA ladies in it, I mean, mm, uh, and so if I can fuck the boss's wife, I'll do basically any, any, 100%. We give, we give me lining up like all the other henshers, obviously. Oh, yeah, that's a tough line. But so she, I was only immediately identify as

Kuryakhan and Annie and the Axoi brother and is like captures. And so they get taken in back where undercover solo is like guarding them. And at this point Sebastian deploys some more management techniques because he's like, hey, you guys did a great job on the missile. We're going to take the missile to the missile launch site. But you guys stay here. We got a little reward for you. At which point? It's broad. Van, a van full of, I can't think of a more sensitive way to describe them than cult

hoes. Shows up. Yeah, that's about it. That's about it. We've all got the bleached hair also. And what in shoes is, is Henshman passing in the red barrel room. And it literally is the red barrels. Yeah. Sick. Sick as hell. It rules. Yeah, it goes on. Funny. So Solo is like relentlessly pursued by women. And he's like, no, I can't, I'm the keys to this thing.

I mailed them to a girl. It happens to the best of us. Yeah, like a woman literally like pins him against a woman is like, no, come on. And it's like, yeah, see how you like him. I'm not the same. Yeah. Yeah. And he doesn't.

But we cut to, so to... So during a sequence, Ilya and the other two, Annie and what's his chops have been taken to the same location and left their features away enough for like solo to be like, hey guys, it's me, solo. I'm also here.

That's crazy. Do you have the keys? Do you have the... Oh, sorry, I forgot to say, Do you have the keys? Do you have the, and he's like, oh, no, sorry. Do you have a God's sake? Do you have the fucking keys? Yes. He's the fucking spec key. He's the emergency. Come on.

Come on. He's like, like, fucking is happy. Come on, bro. They gotta come through for me on this. But he really doesn't have the keys, sadly. Only way he does. But the car leaves. Yeah, the car leaves with Sebastian in the front, and I say, yeah,

I say it here, it's like, oh shit, I've got a tracking device put on me, and Sebastian goes, why the fuck didn't you notice that? You dipshit, you moron. Yeah, and then he goes, you remember those resigned to just imagine which one of you did this? It's the most like back to Winnipeg. Right. Just sort of like family holiday. And Elyah just goes, just earning this car around. And he gives himself away.

Elyah goes, does it matter who put the thing down? And he goes, it doesn't. Then he takes the tracking device off her, puts it on Omar, and does a sideways ejector seat, ejecting Omar onto the foot of the way it's going to get. This man has two buttons on the dashboard of his car. One of them says ejector seat and it causes Omar to leap out of the car sideways. Yeah.

Yeah. The low budget sideways ejector seat is honestly my favourite part. It's so funny to have like easy and to install the vertical one ejector seat and it's the rear passenger seat. This is more useless than the one from fucking gold thing. The guy with the guns that's behind the driver as you'd assume they would. This is useless. It's like, or if there's simply two of them.

Well, that was my one seat. He's like, I'm scared of the other one, but being like, no, he's been fired into three. Yeah, I'm just scared to shut up the guy sitting behind me with a gun. That's a great tactic. Yeah, did you put your finger over the other button and go,

hey, this one might send you out. It doesn't. The other button is labeled gas and it starts the gas, which first of all, that's Michael stable. Thank God we've got some gas going in this one. We love it. Management secrets of the brain, you lose this. We love that gas.

You can't trust, you can't trust these people. They might not be loyal. So immediately the red barrel room starts filling with purple gas, which starts killing people. Solo is exposed by this woman because part of his hair dye washes off with champagne and a gun fight breaks out that he escapes by virtue of everyone else being gassed. Death. And at this point, he runs out and meets the third axoid brother. This one can speak. Karim.

And Karim is, if anything, an even bigger dude, seemingly, and he's the same. He's the same. But he's bigger. Like, yeah, he's the guy that's been put in jail in Turkish prison. No, he's not. He's not. There's another one. He's just a third one.

He's been sticking out. He's been. He's been. He's been. He's been staking out this warehouse for six months. And Solo has just blown all of his shit. And then he gets called from fucking Waverly solo does which he takes on speaker and Waverly goes hey third you know third axel brother or second axel brother fucking dead

of shit he got ejected sideways you know that does to a person he's like most paced by now and he got hit by like so many 1950s cars, the 60s cars, and those things are like built salt. Yeah, and the whole time, Karim is just like, Oh shit. I see. Yeah. I should consider him.

So they're right there. He says, I will pay him back a thousandfold. I take to mean he's going to kill a thousand of his brothers. Yeah. So they're right at the downtown headquarters of this cult. The rocket is going to be launched out of a normal building in downtown LA. Which this rocket is. This rocket is so huge.

It's like a solid on the inside of the skyscraper. They're going to launch it from inside that which is smaller. Great. You literally like the line that he says is it's probably not specifically this, but it is essentially yeah, some of my texts cut hole in the roof. And he's like, how cool? We never see this. So it's all you need. I actually just got a hole in the roof. And so and fucking he's like, but I mean, my understanding of rocket is there's a lot of like downward he created. And we're on the same level as the base of the rocket

and he goes, he put a fence around it. There's a fucking wall there, can't. Yeah, essentially doing the thing. And then how I'm goes, this is clearly a sound stage and the actor goes, no, doesn't? No, it doesn't. I invented a kind of metal that will stop it. Itch, so how about that? He said,

somebody must have been sending really annoying letters to the production of the mountain from Oklahoma. But actually, it's not realistic. So Solo does the best thing he's done in these movies. Yeah. First of all, he goes back to the wife. He kicks a door in. She's in bed with a different dude who is playing solitaire,

which is fucking hysterical. And he goes, get caught, call your husband, and she goes, I don't know. And so he gets emergency call back to headquarters, and he leaves. She immediately gets on the phone. He, in the loudest thing I've ever seen outside of like a fan cam, kicks her door.

I want to see like a motion stabilized version of this, where he's got fucking laser eyes. He Slam kicks a door back in For the second time in a minute and he's like I need you're gonna do that You're full you don't even get him on the fucking phone off of this shit. It's traces of cool. Yeah, it doesn't yeah It doesn't work. It's Really good, but the entire time this guy's still playing solid Aaron her best. Yeah, it's on the face.

Really good. It's great. So he and Karim are now in like a roaring rampage of revenge. They go to this building. They go in the front entrance, which we haven't seen before and there's a gardener just working on this This was such a shot like the reveal of this guy's face was so labored that I was like who is this guy? Have I seen him before am I supposed to know who this is? No, no the vibe is this man is Asian It's just like it's's just an action, man. It doesn't compute to like... And it just kills them.

It doesn't compute to a modern viewer, because the upshot of this is meant to be, man, it's like, Japanese or some shit, and you're meant to go, oh, fuck. Yeah, we're watching in a society that vaguely considers which Japanese to be, comment sure, with a human being. So it doesn't hit the same, really. Yeah, he's just doing, and then he just attacks with a flame throw and is killed instantly. If he turns around and the like sort of

watering thing that he has as a flame throw, which means they station the flame thrower guy in the lobby to just pretend to water plant. And the whole time you know, you know he's thinking, I wish I could use the fucking flame thrower. God, I hope I can start to use this flame. This is the happiest moment of his life. He gets one burst off of the flame throw and gets fucking shocked.

Honest to go on, if I was doing this once every 15 minutes, I would probably turn around and unleash this flame throw burst towards like... Just stess and smoke alarm off. I think maybe what happened is at some point in the production cycle, somebody just obtained a flame thrower and was just like, we should use it, we've got to find some way.er, and there's just like, we just use it. We've got to find some way. It's like the bust of nature, like, well, fuck, we've got it.

We've been using that to kill stray flies. No insect in that building. One of my fucking plants has slightly too many aphids. So, so Solo and Karim, like bust in by virtue of Karim forcing big doors apart with his hand. Yeah, Solo doesn't do any fucking sneaking around. He goes in an open fire. He's still like, I'm ending this film. Solo is looking to clock out.

Yes, yeah. And what's really funny is, like Sebastian gets him on Skype again. He's like, Oh, if it isn't agent dipshit and is a liar, like the most sexually aroused you've heard her goes, I am not. It's like, oh, fuck, he's really annoying. They break in. they have a gun fight. Oh, yeah, Korean and Annie break out. All the time. The old man's there, by the way, just, yeah, he's there, they got the old man there.

They've smashed him in a corner in case you speak. He's just on a fucking pedestal off to the side. And it's so, I wrote, how did they move the old man? Does he like walk or do they take him? It's on, it's on camera. It's also so funny that this gun is like 80 90 and they're like he hasn't spoken in 20 years. I'm like, this motherfucker stopped speaking at age 60 and they're like, yeah, that's the profit. Okay. I've been out of the full life and I went, alright, I'm done.

Sebastian, Sebastian, like, is literally trying to lose the rock, he's got a zelia on one side of his legs. Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Go on the other side of him. He is like living deliciously, and then fucking solo and Karim come in and wreck his entire shit. Yeah, he ends up in a like a switchblade fight with solo in the course of which he gets kicked into like inside of the nose

cone of the rocket, which is there's two jokes you can make here. This is the one thing we didn't want to happen and this is from gravity's rainbow, but either way, he gets kicked inside the rocket. Karim gets fucking shot. Yeah, Karim dies. Yeah, we encourage you to pause the podcast and make whichever joke you feel is appropriate. Oh, oh fuck, shit. I just realized something. When I was looking at the old man, I was like, it looks a lot like David Karadine. And you know why it looks a lot like David Karadine?

Because it's his fucking dad's John Karadine. Oh my god, that's his dad. That is his dad. That's his dad. That's his dad. The man from Dan's Reed Caradine, where did you change out the John idea? I don't know. I had a team. If he had spoken, but this is a thing that they say later, it's like, I wonder what he would have said if he had spoken. And the answer is, don't practice autorotic asphyxiation.

There's, when the fucking missiles start taking off, there's genuinely like a linchian shot of this old man. Like it's really, really good. It's all red and it like zooms in upward at him. And then eventually they just like, they, they, they attack the control panel. It blows up the rocket to which the old man responds by like looking vaguely, miffed, shrugging and undying. It's like, baller. It gives up. Sick. Waverly shows up. The rocket has like, explodes, killing Sebastian.

It's like stock footage of a challenger disaster or some shit. Everybody else gets arrested, I guess. Yeah, Waverly and the boys arrive and Waver's up right. And they just start shopping up the set with fire axes. The moment Waverly arrives, some shit loads up. Everyone's so done. Stand it. Everyone is so, so done with this movie.

It's like, yeah, just fucking hack it apart with acts. Wavily walks into the function. It's like, all right, blow that shit up, blow that shit up. Kill him. Fuck this. I'm going with this. My umbrella's got a cigarette ladder in it. Check that out.

Out. Like this out. Out. About this motherfucker. About that. That just goes. So we go back to New York for a post script where Annie is like, yeah, you got a amount of Turkish prison Napoleon, thank you. The fourth brother who like talks and is very erudite and is meant to be like the handshake.

This is the fourth brother. Yeah, okay. Sorry. He's like, yeah, he got out of prison, but also he has dumped you. By the way, I am very attractive. And he has left you the ring, which is kind of more of a ring for me vibe, actually. And so it's like, yeah, why don't you just say, you know, make that make that happen. So they walk off our man arm. Yeah, back and then on the way out we get I think probably the funniest ending to a man from our movie since well I'm old and would die soon. Really fucking goodness. You go like sort of back to the grind, you know, so Kuryak and it's like it comes up

and like, oh some shit's going on and he goes, well, what is it? And a plan to melt the polar ice cap. Good, I think I'll take the afternoon off. Napoleon. The ice cap, man. The ice cap. This is all your fault. You didn't stop it.

You didn't stop it. The ice cap, man. Dave. If you dis-adjust the beautiful daughter of the chairman of the board of fucking Exxon mobile, we wouldn't be in this. That's a fun way to fucking have your guts for garsers, Seller. Rightly so.

And that's the helicopter spice. I really enjoyed this one. I think this one was, I'm enjoying these movies more and more and more. They have not let me down a single time thus far. Oh yeah, they're consistent, they're consistently good. And then they've got the title down as well, like nobody was in a green hat. Oh, good.

I mean, it's doing their best. Yeah, the last three movies, they've kind of gotten down. Yeah, they've got into the groove now, they've got into the formula. The next one I remember being particularly goofy, and we have a special guest who wants to come on with that. And then there's the 15 years later. How to steal the world.

Yeah. Then the 15 years later affair. And then the man from Uncle Brackett's cantold. The man from Uncle 2015. That's right. But before we get to any of those, we have a science-based racing system on the show that Wisconsin stands for

SMARM Cultural and Sensitivity and Provoked Violent Time as Oginy. So how SMARMy is this movie on a scale of 027? I feel like it's lower than usual, especially because Nippelian Cell was like all business. He's in business mode, right? And VOLCEL, well, I don't know if it's VOL,

but he's something Cell. And like... It seems VOL. Yeah's Vol, but he's something, cell. And like, it seems Vol. Yeah. The fact that he's like, his response to being working out by a beautiful woman and this like, a henchman dude is just go, I don't care who either of you are going out of the way. It's like, I don't care. I am in the CV 6,000. He's lost the way.

Listening to any of this. Yeah. And it's very, yeah, I mean, I think depending, can we give Sebastian points for Samar because he just deploys the shit out of that, the, you wouldn't, I would, is really good. He's better. Yeah, better being the slowly and slowly. Two, three. I would do two, of course.

Cultural insensitivity, I mean, these people aren't Iranian. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no meant to be Turkish, I like Turkish prison, hence the FES. Maybe that does make sense. Oh, shit. That makes way more sense. Maybe that does kind of work. The traditional Turkish FES. I, yeah. Okay. Fuck. I apologize for making the traditional Iranian FES. Yeah. That would make sense. And in that case, I guess we got a knockup point off for correctly associating one of the countries with a FES. Yeah. Two, three, three with affairs. Yeah, I'm gonna. Two, three. Three?

Okay. Yeah. Underfolk violence, I think it does kill a motherfucker. Illia kills a motherfucker. He hangs a dude from his ankles, solo shoots a couple of guys in the back. It's definitely more violent Uncle Malay is.

Yeah, again, sort of different, different tone, a different, like, it's more. It's Uncle's casino royale, brackets, sort of different, different tone or a different, like, it's more. It's Uncle's Cassino Royale's bracket's 2006. It's not greasy, it's certainly not realistic, but it is more violent. And so I could even do like a... Or for this. Okay, yeah, I mean, Elliot does shoot that motherfucker dead. Yeah, fuck it.

And, and, and, and, so much. I feel like it's better than Uncle Normaliers. Yeah, I mean, Annie is like doing all of her shit in order to get her man out of Turkish prison. And when that doesn't work out, that's immediately substituted with another man. But she's resourceful and has goals and one-up for men occasionally.

She doesn't go the end. She's actually going back to my family. Yeah, both Azalea and the yes, sir, like, she doesn't go the end, she's actually going back to my family. Yeah, both as a daily and the yes, girl are like thoroughly submissive to Sebastian in both centers. On the other hand, Mrs. Sebastian rescues this movie from a much higher Miss Audrey school, because yeah, okay, older woman who fucks a lot is not exactly progressive, right? But for 1968 to be like she is working her way through that entire security detail one by one

And it's like quite blus-y about it. She's she's been fucking FBI agents. She's trying to fuck solo There is like absolutely no shame attached to it. So at least seems annoyed by her. Yeah, she's never kind of condemned morally for this. She doesn't get fucking shot like you know, it's done to some of the other. She survives. I don't know what happens at the end of the film, but she doesn't even get like a rest. She's busy like you know getting domed off. Sack and fuck yeah absolutely. So you know I mash a lot so I think that makes it like a full point lower so I think it takes it like a yeah it could be like a three.

Do you? Yeah yeah I think I'm really that good. That gives us a total score of 12 which is pretty darn good. It's like the second best man from Uncle one of us buys his messing is still the best one on 11 but he's definitely darn good. It's like the second best man from Uncle, one of us buyers is missing is still the best one on 11, but it's definitely doing good. Mm, hang on. Well, I've really enjoyed watching this one. I can't wait for how to steal the world,

which is gonna be the last one of the like feature films and then we're into sort of like some other things. But in the meantime, thank you for listening. We have a Patreon, you can subscribe to it. You now will have to in order to get the bonus episodes because you have to pay rent and exist under capitalism. So, we're just going to announce that. Yeah, I know.

And it is coming. Fucked up. Well, I mean, the thing is right, I just paid my energy bill. And there are a lot of numbers on it. And the conclusion that I had was like, I like to try and be a good person, even on that good. So you have to pay us for the bonus episode now.

Not yet. Obviously, this comes out on the 8th or 9th. Next week will be another free bonus, then they'll be the next match, Michael. But after that, back behind the Iron Paywall, I'm afraid. Yep. Are the fuckers? For a five month. What does that explain this episode?

It's a speed racer. Oh, speed racer. I'm excited to pretend I haven't seen it yet. I think that'll be good. I agree with that. In the meantime, thank you. Call me a soy jack-up kill. Kill me, do it.

Thank you for listening to Yet Another episode of Kill James Bond. Kill James Bond will return in two weeks' time on the free feed for the next man from uncle, which is how to steal the world, which I believe Abby is planning to get her brother on for, so look forward to that. However, if that is simply too long for you to wait next week, also on the free feed, because that will be the final free of the winter of content. Final, unpaid world bonus episode. Speed racer 2008 baby. We're doing it. We're doing it. We've heard you're baying or we're doing it. You don't have to give us any money at the moment to access the entire... um...

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