Upstream - S2E19: How to Steal the World

Episode Date: March 1, 2023

It's the final 60s UNCLE, and it's a fitting send-off. Solo goes on a peyote vision quest, Ilya babysits a wannabe protagonist, and "Waverly is fucking dying. A rogue UNCLE agent has created a secret society based in the LAX Airport Terminal in a desert in the middle of the Himalayas, and he's planning to stop all wars by unleashing the most powerful gas we've ever faced... ------ Consider supporting us on our reasonably-priced patreon! https://www.patreon.com/killjamesbond ------ *WEB DESIGN ALERT*  Tom Allen is a friend of the show (and the designer behind our website). If you need web design help, reach out to him here:  https://www.tomallen.media/   Kill James Bond is hosted by Alice Caldwell-Kelly, Abigail Thorn, and Devon. You can find us at https://killjamesbond.com and https://twitter.com/killjamesbond  

Hello and welcome to another episode of Code James Bond and we're back with a full complement. I am Atlas Codork, Ali's joining me as always ish, my friends, Abigail Thorne and Devon. Hello. How you doing? We're so close to being done with Uncle. And honestly, it's bittersweet for me. I'm gonna miss it now.

I've got to miss the Polly, it's the last like full 60s Uncle. We still got the 15 years later affair. Should you next? You know, the sort of maximum cancellation reboot movie. Yeah, the movie rapidly approaching of 100% cancellation rate But this is how to steal the world which is the movie that they made of literally the last Episode of the Man from Uncle because they cut that off mid season. It got a bit too silly for them in season three. So they made season four and then, you know, the network executives pulled the rug out from under Robert Vaughan and went, no, no more uncle, you stop screening on this one. So the other, the back half of season four is like lost to time.

And what we ended up with was this, how to steal the world, which is like a two kind of a, kind of a fitting wrap up, actually, it ends in an interesting way, as we'll see. Yeah, I thought this was like a remarkably good send off to encore. When it's all said and done, I also think that this is not even just like, I gotta put my flag in the ground here. I reckon this is not even just like a good Uncle movie. I think this is a good movie.

Yeah, yeah, it's pretty decent. The strong stance, but, you know, for a movie with 2.9 on lesser box, no ratings anywhere else. What the fuck is that about? I don't read that shit. I'm a, it's a set of my own. 3 on IMDB, out of ends. Yeah, but what's he gonna get on the scum score,

the only score that matters? We will find out together. Right. That's right. But so we begin 40 miles east of Macau in Southeast Asia, where once again, and we've learned this from Bond movies, right? Sinister refugee organizations. If an organization says something like, you know, it's the international committee for the widows and orphans of refugees of trauma. Brotherhood of everyone being friends incorporated actually.

100% those people are trying to like kill the queen, steal some gold. That's where blowfeld's front. There's been like five different things where a nefarious refugee organization is happening, but we start with a gun fight at the office of the legitimate refugee association. And at this point, like we've been used to weird uncle opening sequences, this one seems actively like inimical to making a movie. It seems actively hostile to uncle to the man from uncle. Like we get the sort of big, big starring freeze frames on Robert Vaughan and David McCallum. One of them is out of shot, the other one is out of focus.

Perfect. Yeah, because they're trying to pause this action sequence, which also doesn't really help the action sequence to be honest. But yeah, it's not a great title sequence, but shitty title sequence is what uncle's all about. That's right. Um, Solo and Kury Arkane are any gunfight with the guy called web, um, who escapes by just sort of diving out a window onto an awning, getting into a jaguary type driven by a beautiful woman. Yeah, this red jaguar, you're given by sexy lady pulls up and I'm like, Oh,

yes, okay, the movie has begun. Yeah, there's a total involved here'm like, oh yes, okay, the movie has begun. Yeah, there's a little bit of talent involved here. Immediately. And the boys give chase at a car and then get perfectly blown up. Yes, a guy who they had already shot sort of like reaches out from beyond the grave to fire a prepositioned grenade launcher at their car, destroying it. And then you get two consecutive shots of Vaughan and Macau, calling themselves laterally into shot. They use the side of as a jack seat from one of the three-year-old.

Exactly. They've blown perfectly horizontally away from this thing. The sexy lady driving the e-type Jaguar is Mrs. Kingsley, by the way, and she is married. We don't know that yet. We do because web says thank you Mrs. Kingsley and she is married to Uncle Agent Mr. Kingsley. Mr. Kingsley, the Uncle Agent. As we now learn as we cut to UNCLE HQ HK. Yeah, but they even manage to make Hong Kong look like shit.

They give it the traditional New York looks like shit establishing shot. Yeah, it says New York. And I'm like, it says, says Hong Kong. And I'm like, is it? Is that? Yeah, it's just New York for September. Hong Kong. That's the same building.

Yeah. The New York city of Hong Kong, where they have a sit like a parallel uncle office with everything the same They have a wavily brackets Hong Kong who's like more irassable Yeah, is this and could the guy play wavily like did he die? Could he not do this scene? Is this one of those extra scenes this shot? Wavily in a few extra scenes and he's checking out. Yeah, no, well, he's getting the old to do these. Yeah, sort of audibly slurring his lines. Yeah. I mean, kind of everyone fluffs their lines in this.

It has been a sort of a last day of school vibe. Yeah, but wavily ending every movie by looking at the camera and being like, I'm going to die soon. His finally starting to catch up with him. Yeah. Yeah. For the boys, the boys done, it's done, it's done, it's done, it's done, it's done, it's done, it's done, it's done, it's done, it's done, it's done, it's done, it's done, it's done, it's done, it's done, it's done, it's done, it's done, it's done, it's done, it's done, it's done, it's done, it's done, it's done, it's done, it's done, it's done, it's done, it's done, it's done, it's done, it's done, it's done, it's done, it's done, it's done, it's done, it's done, it's done, it's done, it's done, it's done, it's done, it's done, it's done, it's done, it's done, it's done, it's done, it's done, it's done, it's done, it's done, it's done, it's done, it's done, it's done, it's done, it's done, it's done, it's done, it's done, it's done, it's done, it's done, it's done, it's done, it's done, it's done, it's done, it's done, it's done, it's done, it's done, it's done, it's done, it's done, it's done, it's done, it's done, it's done, it's done, it's done, it's done, it's done, it's done, it's done, it's done, it's done, it's done, it's done, it's done, it's done, it's done, it's done, it's done, it's done, it's done, it's done, it's done, it's done, it's searching his office right now, and there's like an uncle agent and a secretary searching the office. And they find this. Yeah, this is one of my favorite things. They find this capsule, and the guy goes,

don't touch it, immediately touches it, and opens it. So his only beef there was like, no, your womanly hands could never get in fucking gassed. Right. But he opens it, and then there's a jump cut and it disappears. We are later told that like this is meant to be the capsule dissolving. I thought this was an editing mistake.

It's just such a bad joke. Yeah, it's literally, he opens it and we get man-from-on-call classic. A gas is involved. I see a little bit of vapor coming out of that thing and I go fucking perfect. Let's go. And then then it just like hard cut to the exact same shot, but without the canister, like it's a close-up on his hand and it just, it looks horrific. And they just kind of stare into space for a minute. And then they come into report to like, as fucking Waverly brackets Hong Kong is chewing out, Elya and Solo, the dude who found the capsule comes into his office and is like a high as balls. Yeah, do you see what this says about our society,

that when he says kind of a vapor, he's referring to a gas to an object, but as we in our benighted age, would take the line kind of a vapor to refer to the person they say. I think it says a lot about how we're on our phones and yeah, my mom's iPhone must of the time. It turns out I wrote down that this scene was called battle of the scenery choos because both the gasd fella and Hong Kong wavily have like one scene, one opportunity to just really get their fucking names out there in the acting world and they pull out

every conceivable stop. Wavily is like Hong Kong wavily is like yelling like he's a businessman asking for good numbers the entire time. It's like so staccato. And what's really funny is the guy, essentially the direction here is, you go into your boss's office and you give him an arrowwood trip report, right? Well, sir, so it's a clean mellow high, right? But what you've, the shot is so close to his face

as well as slightly upward. So it's just like, there's so many extreme costs. But the shot is so close to his face as well as slightly upward. There's a recurring problem in this film. There's so many extreme causes. Not a problem. Perfect cinematography. What this guy says is it's fucking sissy hypnogas is what it is. The gas that makes you submissive is poppers. Yeah, we sniffed this and our assholes dilated to fuck for one thing, but also we were extremely

Suggested on Edward for a minute. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it was like Extremely sort of like we were waiting for instructions So this shit in New York, let me fucking tell He comes in on the scene. He's like yeah, we inhaled this gas and oh He comes in on the scene and he's like, yeah, we inhaled this gas and... Oh, we were just waiting for someone to give us instructions and give us orders. I'm sorry, I've had a bit, but I got completely sidelined by the New York reference and fully forgot where I was going. Yes, this girl from Pittsburgh was there, she made me smell the stuff, I was very suggestive.

Maybe in a fucking arm wrestling contest. What? Ah! Ha! She's transsexual. Ah! Ha! Okay, so, uh, fine Kingsley.

And then, and then, yeah, but the way that he tells them to fine Kingsley is the funniest fucking thing in this scene, by not a small margin. He doesn't have a projector in the traditional sense where he does is he flips on the light of a backlit family photo science. Yeah. Yeah. Headshot of the actor playing Kingsley that he just keeps on his wall ready to like illuminate at a moment's notice. That's the only thing that's illuminating. He has a lighter picture of his body. Just ready to go on his wall.

It's perfect. So good. There's a number of things in this movie that are like recurring. I would call them a bit at this point because there's no way that this isn't ridiculous to the people making it as well. And one of them is that every single photo

is just like a glossy actor's headshot. No matter if it's supposed to get like a civilian or like it's just so good. Yeah, so we managed to get this like surveillance photo for perfect like eight by 10 glossy. Incredible glam shot like angles and everything perfect. It's so good every single time. We know how Elyra and Solo work.

They've got to find Kingsley, so of course they go and speak to his sexy wife, Mrs. Kingsley, who we've just seen. Solo literally goes to this man, and he's like, how bad do I want to fuck this guy's wife? And the guy goes, so bad it makes you look stupid. Perfect. Next thing. It's so good, because they don't even bother doing the set-up

of like, well, we could go see his wife. We just, they go find Kingsley and we just can't cut to his wife opening the door to Solo. And it's like, we know what the fucking deal is here. And of course, we know that she's lying because we've seen her in the opening, but the boys didn't recognize her. So she's really upset and she claims

to not know where her husband is. She's also dressed as a sexy drama teacher, which is interesting. And she's using the sort of the voice that you would describe as the evil voice and like an adaptation of puro or something. Like in a detective film, right? What usually happens when you have an evil,

scheming, conniving woman as she seems, she sounds sweet and then the detective goes, oh, but it was you in the like library with the lead pipe and she goes, it was worth such a fool, Freddie, the evil voice, you know? But she's on that for a minute one. And like, I have no idea where my husband has gone and you're like, oh, yeah.

It was such a fool. She's wearing a black, a blue-feed jumpsuit, a long gold vest, gold shoes, and a statement necklace. So she is definitely doing your art, gold shoes and a statement necklace. So she, she is definitely doing like your art teacher who you have a crush on. We are almost into the 70s here. We're perilously close, 1968. And so I think it's fair to say we can see those things start to creep in. So I find a scrap of paper with the word seven written on it. Do we ever find out what the fuck this means? It's the seven intellectual wonders

that he wants seven guys. He's just wrote seven, no, 100,000 times on a piece of paper, I don't know why. Because he's normal. Yeah, it's down to style. Wavily calls and Wavily is like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, he's really fucking up his lines here.

Like, he, he, he, he, he, he barely say Napoleon's solo He he sounds like he's been fucking at the city hit mogas himself. It's real bad This this scene contains my favorite line reading of the entire movie which is which is from solar himself Have you have any idea? Just look at that Barry Any idea from solar himself. Have you had any idea? Just a little bit of that barrier. Any idea? You really are the most devious person.

Hong Kong's city. He's given up calling it UNCLE. He just calls it Uncle that, which is fun. Yeah. That battle has been lost a long time ago, which I really appreciate. So, where is it like, yo, there's the scientist who's gone missing, and Kingsley's stolen a bunch of uncle's files on him. So, it's looking more and more like,

Kingsley hasn't gone missing, Kingsley's defected from uncle, which is kind of fucking cool, as the first time that's happened. Yes, and he goes, and you know who else, there's a daughter, and Sola goes, how bad do I want to fuck her? And Wavler goes, so bad it makes you look stupid

And then we cut to the daughter We don't we don't we meet King like Kingsley meets the scientist who's gone missing first the scientist don't worry about him He's just some dude, but I love this scene because It's really good. Yeah, because Kingsley meets the chemist and like he's got this scrap paper on him And we don't know what's written on it, but like just the way that they act it and the way that the music is turned, we understand that this paper is of like really great importance. Like the scientists are like, history will end with this and like hands over this tiny piece of paper and it can easily just looks at it. It's like a really, really good scene.

Riddle me this, if it's that good of a scene, why don't I remember it? I saw this movie this morning, right? And it's gone. So much of it is. You were thinking about the daughter. That's true. You're champion. It's it. This scene established something that we will mention a lot, which is close-ups on, guys. This scene is shot from about an inch away from each of these people respectively. Shot reverse shot. I love it. They really got weird with it.

They knew this was gonna be the last one, I guess. And so whoever was doing the cinematography was like, okay, I may have missed my chance to do German expressionist cinema, but I'm not gonna let it pass me by this time. I'm gonna use the last of the film. I'm gonna stick this lens directly up there fucking notch. It's like fogging up because the actors are breathing on it. It's so close. He got told that this is the last uncle movie they were doing and he just like went fuck you and got the macro lens out.

Like I'm showing this shit so close you can see every individual park mark on this man's face and there are a trillion of them so good. We see Anna she has a date. She's dating this twin. Yes, Steve. I swear that at some point somebody calls him David because my notes like initially call him David and then it changes over but whatever. Yeah, I wrote down who's this twink, a question which to me remains unanswered. He keeps coming out. He's not reborn. But yeah, she's leaving to go and join her father.

And then we cut to, first time I think we've seen this in a while, thrush HQ. That's right. Yeah, we've got to the cover of Freeze Meat Limited. And it's a meat deck. Meat is being conveyed back and forth, but within the meat inside a trolley whose sides are made of meat. This is Kingsley's riding and a meat wagon. Yeah, she's riding and she's using meat car. She's riding inside the car made of meat and she's got an old-timey car horn which she just

a couple of times and then hands off to a guy. So this is something that's so fucking good about Uncourt, is that they use the sort of spy tropes and framing around completely ridiculous items. So this is like case in point that she produces this like old-timey car horn. We've just, we've such like an air of like, I've got the secrets here. It's so fucking good. She like presents it to the door guard and he looks at it with such seriousness and then opens the door. It just never comes back. It's like, why would it be a keycard? We could just treat like the fucking clown horn like it was a keycard.

We'd, you'd never guess it, right? Would you? If you were trying to get into Thrush Command, you'd never be like, they're like, what's the password? I'll just pull out my like, clown horn. That's what it's called. To have on. The password is, as stated. to have on me. That was as it is as it is. Curious honk noise. The... Instead,

Thrasher having a meeting which is being chaired by a web. No, no, no, no. We can't even talk for the... I want to stay on the cloud. A weirdly horny cloud noise. Okay. Listen, you have to forgive her,

throw it a little bit. Uh-huh. Funny. I didn't. Look, it's so good because like, in any fucking movie, you would use like a key card for that and then the key card would never show up again. And if you're gonna have an item

that's treated with reverence and never showing up again, why would you not just be like, fuck it, let's use the clown horn for it, let's use a fucking board of metal. I'm a professional. I don't want it. No, yeah, this would be a normal thing to use. Why would you use them when you could use like a joke?

Was this like a rehearsal with the props department not ready for this take over? What the fuck is this? It was the last episode and they were like, fuck it, let's do a silly one. Yeah, they just get weird. They're using all the tropes in the coding and then using a clown horn, it's perfect. So inside, Thrush are having this meeting, it's been shared by Webb and we surmise that like Thrush aren't behind Kingsley, but they're waiting for Kingsley's plan to be ready and then they're going to swim in and take it over.

And Mrs. Kingsley is helping them. You know what, though, Thrush DEI is doing the work because they have 50% female executives. Yeah, they do. They've got Webb, they've got Mrs. King'sly. They've got a guy called Mr. Veeith and Miss Carla, who is like standing behind him kind of like threatening. Miss Carla, hello. Yeah, I also wrote this down. And as you say, the plan is that. Love a tall, brutal woman with a strong jaw.

Yeah, absolutely. They're bankrolling this sort of like project of Kingsley's unbeknownst to him. And they're going to swoop in at the last second and take it over. Mrs. Kingsley reclines on a divine that smirks a cigarette. My notes say it is horny. Oh, it's extremely horny. Because essentially what happens is she turns to Veece and Carlo and goes right fuck off and they do and they're like, you will see us later.

Meantime, this sort of like weirdly luxurious conference room that I should say has one wall totally open on like the henchman command center with all the lightning lights and stuff. And which remains open the whole time. That now becomes for the rest of the movie, Mrs. Kingsley and Webb's fuck shack. Yeah, these guys are fucking like it's last days of Rome.

Like unbelievable. Uh-huh. First attempt to convey to you that these people are fucking is she goes, it's hot in here and he blows out a candle. It's quite fun actually because they, because it's the 60s, they can't show the characters fucking. They just have to make like extremely horny eye contact on each other, which is kind of self- it quite nicely. It's like a last start, you know? And this is like a full-e-open plan office. Like if nothing else, do you want the henchman to watch? Is that what's happening here?

Yeah, I do. Like, is this sort of a looking for a third situation, I do. Like, yeah, I believe sort of a looking for a third situation. I do. I do like across the evil conference room and left your vibes. Yeah, I think, honestly, I think that the meat deck sort of like thrush command center probably has atrocious reviews on hench on the hench app. It's like, yeah, you know, I had my job pressing the sort of the buttons and stuff. And then they kept like very seductively asking me if I worked out. They keep like putting a hand on my shoulders. Like, I really don't want to be sort of any unicorn situation. It's challenging between arm wrestle.

Yeah. I keep trying to do my job as a henchman and then they just keep like involving me in that public king It's like come on Didn't consent to that plus you know, it's an unequal relationship. They sign my project This Sex scene is the kind of it's the only like sex scene that's compliant with those weird people on Twitter who like Saxeens never move the plot forward. It's like it does that's it It does move the platform because we established that King's wife is not loyal to him. He's he's been cocked. That's right. And meanwhile Anne arrives in Hong Kong where the boys are waiting. They have her headshot, which is extremely funny. Again. Yeah. I love this. I only post so of anyone you can find.

So you can see the only photo of anyone you can find. Of just someone who is like a civilian. Just like nothing from Mark or just A button, headshot glossy. She did a bit of like local theorist of stuff and she just had that, they have that. And she gets into sort of like a 1930s car for unclear reasons, which they follow to a boat,

upon which a crane operator on the docks tries and comes down close to killing our boys by like, swinging the big, a crane hook at them. But then you just kind of let them go after that. Because I'm against the way I'm about. Yeah, even at time while the boat takes off. Yeah.

And now we get one of my favorite shot in the movie, I think. Actually, I think there's a better shot later. But you get a dramatic shot of all the sailors stood on top of the boat as it leaves, like watching. And then they all turn around. And it holds just long enough to reveal that the name of the ship is the wild goose. Yeah.

Yeah. Oh. And then the driver of this ship is the wild goose. Yeah, yeah. Oh, and then the driver of this 1930s taxi, every other car in Hong Kong is normal, by the way. It's just this one car leans out of the window and like says something that I'm not, I don't even know if it's racist. If it's racist, it's racist in a way that's like

so baffling, it didn't even like compute for me. Taxi, gentlemen, taxi. What accent is supposed to be Hong Kong's scouser? Hong Kong Brooklyn scouser, the familiar racial stereotype. Yeah, the classic type of guy that we're all familiar with. Uh-huh, uh-huh. These guys around before the handover. Yeah.

Yeah, I always have no- Handover is very strange. This turns out to be pointless because they immediately catch up to Anna on a helicopter. An old man opens up on them with a fucking deck gun. Yeah, this is really funny. Yeah, because the boys don't give a shit that they're coming. No, Solo is wearing like a blue Harrington jacket, aviators, like massive medallion, I'm pretty certain, and a turtle neck.

And this old guy is shoosing out of them with a 50 caliber machine gun. Solo not even fast. He's not giving a fuck about it. You're kind of sliding in Client's head to look down on this and there's a sight. Just like being shot at with a heavy machine gun. I don't know, thank you. I don't believe. It's like we forgot to tell him that I was occurring in the scene. So that's just like playing it completely not. Yeah, well, it was like edited together. Yeah. So they buzzed the ship about 50 or 60 times and finally they Question mark our fourth to land or choose to land yeah, look off to other shit captain of the ship appears

He puts his hand on the barrel of the 50 cow doesn't burn himself which not sure how that happened And also he's I really like this guy. Yeah, this is earth's most sourced captain Just he's like like you said, Dev, there's a lot of actors in this who have one scene to really like make an impression and he does his best. He's not doing this. The way that he does this is sort of do it like an Elron Hubbard sort of vibe. And like for sort of very slurring and very British inexplicably,

I wrote down, is this how Americans feel about J.W. Pepper? He starts to sound like Gorker, like James Adomeans Gorker, but like sort of on Kwaylood. Yeah, it's a very unusual character. I'm not sure what the joke is here. Well, quailudes go out of the class again. That's another kind of guy, which I'll be familiar with. Just running around Hong Kong before the hunt.

Yeah. Yeah. What's really funny is there's one line because Anna comes out to meet them. And he goes, well, I'll just play what he actually says. Why don't you pop off and play some couple borders? Everything. No, the whole of the audio in this is like pretty poorly mixed in this movie. But first of all, that's Quailude's gorker. I don't even pop on now.

This is a White House. Second of all. What does he actually say here? What is... Why don't you pop off and play some cuffleboard or something? I think he said shuffleboard, but there was a problem with the audio editing. Yeah, it seems to be. The subtitles, which try their best and they just have subtitles, the subtitles go with cuffleboard.

Why don't you pop off and play some Cuffle Ball? So, like, even this is a thing he's, I did something he's just invented for this. Because he's a blurred shuffle board so badly that we've invented up, we've invented a new sport, you know, which sounds, something that sounds like it's only played in the Netherlands. Yeah, the boys are like, yo, Anna, where's your dad and this dude, Kingsley? She's like, I don't know.

They get captured and we see that she's lying because Kingsley and her dad are both on board. Listening from a port home or a vent or something. And our boys get sort of like knocked unconscious, at which point? You may be asking, what a miss is Kingsley and Webb up to? I mean, I'm talking about two. They're fucking. The answer is fucking, fucking, again. Sex on each other.

And the thing is, every time they do this, they knock down one of the handful of existing acceptable ways to convey that two characters are having sex, right? Like, we've already done the like two cigarettes in an asteroid. And so what they do this time is she goes, oh, it's really bright in here. So he walks over, draws the big curtain between them and like the henchmen. So finally, we're like, oh, thank God.

And we get a beautiful, really fast, really close zoom into a web space for no reason whatsoever. Yeah, crash, do you want them? As he closes this curtain, it's baffling. Like the number on his forehead rises to 100%. He goes that guy and turns back to look dead into the camera's eye and it zooms straight

in on his face and you're like, yeah, perfect. These guys are fucking, the point of the scene, however, is that the other two people who I don't care are going, look, they're nearly made their fucking team together. They've nearly got their plan together. Can we please jump in and take over now? And the answer is, no, it's just way in a little longer. It's getting pussy.

No, I need to get this done. However, damn pussy. They are interrupted by the announcement that Thrasher successfully recruited a guy we love to see. A guy we love to see in a guy we love to see in a comic role who is not in a comic role. He's not in that phase of his career.

How does this before he did this? Yeah, this is so weird to see him play with his career. It's so fucking funny. It's so fucking hamlet. Leslie Nielsen. Leslie fucking Nielsen. I just wanted to tell you both good luck. We're all counting on you. Leslie Nielsen

This is moments before he started doing comedy acting. I remember last summer I watched for Bidden Planet for the first time and he is the protagonist and he's supposed to be like young and hot and Completely playing it straight and it's almost impossible to watch now because he delivers every line in the same way as he does in his comedy straight and stuff, but there's no humor. And you're like, he's so fucking funny. You're like, you're climbed to love

for like everything he says, and then it's like, no, this is deadly theory. He's just so out of the line. He's just saying the lines completely straight, and you're like, aha, aha.huh, uh-huh. Great, perfect.

Leslie Nielsen is like an Air Force General, US Air Force General. Where sunglasses all the time, so the effect is a bit sort of like galtiery-ish. And she and his boys are leaving the country on some outer heaven shit. Like he pushes past some reporters and shit, gets in the plane with his like paratroopers.

And he hits them with, and this is also, you know, us when Abbey makes us watch fucking, you know, a brats movie or whatever. You were selected to serve me, you took a personal author loyalty, I now invoke that pleasure of unquestioning obedience. And people were saying that to me in the end. Oh, well, well, yeah.

Yeah, yeah. And he's fully on some other head. But again, he's like, you are the last soldiers. You're the, like, Yeah, this is, this goes hard. It does, it goes weirdly hard. Yeah, it's a sick character introduction,

because he's introduced getting out of a car mobbed by reporters and it's shot from like the position of one of the reporters. So you're like trying to get a glimpse of him and he's like walking through the airport and he gets into this room steps and he stands in like Tory power, stands holding his fucking riding crop

and he's like, boys, He's carrying a writing crop. Why? The whole time. So good. Yeah, it is. We're not developing a Leslie Nielsen kink on this podcast. We're developing. All right.

Why don't you just say that I watched for the next 20 minutes about like, you know, all of the stuff that Leslie Nielsen could do, like, to fall by and with you. I won't besmirch his memory with this. Uh-huh. So he's all right. He's all right. He's all right. He's all right.

He's all right. He's all right. He's all right. He's all right. He's all right. He's all right. He's all right. He's all right.

He's all right. He's all right. He's all right. He's all right. He's all right. He's all right. This is a nice suggestion, because initially I was like, why didn't they just kill them, but we actually find out later. Mm-hmm. And like, they've taken the law communicator pans, they don't have anywhere to call for help, they're just adrift. But Couriacan has outwitted them by the expedient of some real grandpa shit. I keep my phone in my shoe, so if people rob me, they won't think to check in my shoe where I keep my phone in my shoes so if people rob me, they wouldn't think to check in my shoe where I keep my phone. He's got his phone down his massive sock. We get a really fun line off of this if I can find the fucking drop.

How do I inject dignity into the word help? You don't. So they call wavily. And wavily is like... I know! Whatever. I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm So they call wavily and wavily is like Jet now fast Wavily is only going to come away. He can't be on set. They have to just No, it's Bruce Yeah

But he agrees to send a seaplane, a word which he cannot really pronounce. And meanwhile, we cut back to our scientists and Leslie Nielsen who were arriving at the sort of like new, new, new Cersei. And they're already on their robe shit. Yeah, they've got their robes. We don't know what the plan is yet, and they're already on their robe shit. Yeah, yeah, they've got heavy onto their robes. We don't know what the plan is yet, but they're on robes. Um, and at thrush HQ, there's a coup, the, the, the hot lady from earlier and the dude in the wheelchair, trying to attack Webb, but Mrs. Kingsy just kills them both and it's horny. They, they, they try and interrupt.

They're like, third, uh, well, I'll throw a window into their constant non-stop fuck session. They have run out of ways to show that they're fucking. So we're reintroduced to Mrs. Fucking Kingsley. She is groping a bronze deer statue, right? She's not even sure that meant the symbolise. No, I don't know. Nothing like, yeah. Yeah, so these two are like, you falls. This is going to, the timing of this is wrong. And right or die, she just kills both of them, which is perfect.

Yeah, immediately. At once more detail, I did want to note, when they hand the latest nerd, they've recruited his nerd robes. They're like, welcome to the purple, which is, you know, so it's ostensibly a classical illusion, right? Like the robes of Roman, like, Sanuses and Noble used to be dipped in something called Tyrion Purple, which is a thing you get by like squishing a bunch of snails. Seen sea salt in your eyes and snails.

Yeah, smells bad. But like, yeah, and a Tyrion Purple is see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, the sound mixing is really bad in this movie. There's one instance of it, which I don't have a drop of, but which sets me up for I think the best pun I've ever made in this fucking podcast. So, you know, stay tuned for that in about an hour's time. Very excited. In time, I'm gonna play some Cuffal Ball. And so, we see, we hear from Waverly that a bunch of other

like weird people have been kidnapped, like a PR expert, a food scientist, they've been kidnapped and weirdly about a week before they get kidnapped, seemingly innocuous things get stolen from their homes. Like a music box and a briefcase and it's like, oh, it's kind of... Kuryakhen. Kuryakhen goes, oh, do we have to watch every petty theft in the world and we go live to petty theft can. Yeah, we do.

This fucking rule. Breaking, yeah, this stole the whole movie for me. A guy is breaking into the home of Dr. Professor Garrow, this geneticist whose twink son was dating the daughter. Yeah, he grabs like a family photo and said twink opens the door goes, hey, what are you doing? The guy grabs the family photo and exits quantum of solid stuff. Like a steel in the board, I'd actually like, just straight out the window. He goes perfectly horizontally through the window. He goes out like that garfield pan.

It's gorgeous. And the movie does not linger on this at all. This is like his immediate action is get caught out window. And it runs to the window. He's already gone. It's so fucking, I need to do like a supercut of all the time. So I'm launched through a window on this podcast because there's been so many. The end of this drama just kind of like falling through it. That's still the fun. I'm trying to do this to like immediately like sprint through the nearest play glass window and make good your escape.

Need to learn this skill actually. And this happens every time. It's these aren't fucking play glass windows, man. They have like slats. They have this is like. He's just straight through the balsa wood in the middle like yeah really badly constructed in the 17th and like face first too he doesn't even have his arms out around a thing needs to learn this can be really good in awkward searchers situation

I'm like oh just try my hands on my penis I do this I do this one time and everyone rushes the window and I'm like on the ground beneath it just going like Oh my god Oh, Windows are made sure of these days Oh, I didn't realize Glash and wood is every window in my house I love you, you're good It's like hell and summer. It's melting my window.

It's like covered in ants, but it's purely so. If I have this like a socially awkward situation, I could sprint towards any window, I should. Fucking Agent 47 killing me by replacing my window with real glass. And then causing me a marriage Oh double glazing has been invented into fucking Five minutes uncle back in the day if you got robbed they put your whole house name and address in the paper. And so we see this on our own. This geneticist.

We see that like uncle are able to trace this. They give off his murder coordinates. Yeah, we sort of reading between the lines, understand that they're able to get to this, this professor. But so the next scene is this professor and his family is going to like a conference or something. They're in the airport. Almost all of this movie is filmed at LAX because I guess they got a deal on it. And you know, it's beautiful airport scenery, the red zone is for loading and unloading. He gets called to the white courtesy phone and you know what, I would hate to be chloroformed and put on a baggage conveyor belt, but that's what happens to him. No, you wouldn't.

And no, I would love that shit. Are you kidding me? Come on. And like, honestly, they need like federal government. If you, once you've invented the cigarette that's good for you, once you've invented the cigar that's good for you. Come on. If you could just do me personally a solid and invent the chloroform that's good for you,

because the chloroform that exists is real bad for you. So if you could do your ancestor invent the chloroform that's good for you because the chloroform that exists is real bad for you. So if you could do your ancestor and maybe see your waiter, yeah, I mean, you got to invent the chloroform that's good for you. That's what I'm saying. So just, so just ketamine. Yeah, it's just a real rag, soaks in ketamine. I mean, take 50 minutes to take effect, but afterwards it's really. Yeah, you're clearly that way. So, as he moves of having a towel held over your face, which maybe, but so Kuryak and Insola like see this happen

and in a very unhurried way follow them, which we kind of like, I'm not sure if you're meant to be like, yo, what the fuck, why are they just letting this happen? Or if you're meant to have gotten that this is part of a plan? Yeah, so Garaget's taken away and Eli is like excellent. You know, we all meet this guy's son, who is, who's the Queen in this fucking movie. Yeah, Stephen, who is just like, he gets pushed down like four flights of stairs. Oh, here I really hold on it as well, so good.

It's really funny. Good stunt work from this guy. Yeah, absolutely. He perfectly rolls down. Like, it's a long shot of him rolling down these stairs. What do you get, Stephanie? He's like, am I right? And it's like, are you?

Really? I think you are, Matthew, you're dead. I could stay lying down, actually, I think. He wants to be in this movie so badly. But the so they have a little transmitter sewn into Professor Clarence Darrow's jacket or whatever. He's helping me with Uncle. Yeah, yeah, which allows Solo to like follow him in a plane. Solo looks out of the window of the plane and goes, oh, it's the Himalayas. In my heart, I knew I would go, that's weird, the Himalayas look a lot like Southern California

at this time of year. You have no fucking idea if you'll listen to us, how much the Himalayas are Southern California. They are light on us, it's salt black. The characters, the characters, it is keep making reference to it. They are like, on a sump flat. The characters, the characters, isn't it? Keep making reference to it. That's like later on, Elia and Steve are in the helicopter.

And then Steve's like, normally, they have a las, they're a desert. It's kind of weird. And Kuriak is like, yeah, we're part of the world. And it's like, it's such like a shut up line. And you're all the people that are like, oh, desert. That's like, I don't worry about it. There is like a cold desert. Like, you get done a shot of a desert and put

like a wind howling sword fight. Yeah, like, there's a rain shadow. It's Tibet. But no, I bought it. It's a salt flat baby. The thing is right, when they were location scousing for this, they were like, we're not driving more than like 15 minutes. And fair enough, honestly. There's bits of northern California you could have used. No, not interested, not even bothered. So the plane gets intercepted and shot down by Leslie Nielsen, Missile of Fantasy. Yeah, every so often Leslie Nielsen

will just like get on his big white phone and go, Missile of Defense Unit and the Missile of Defense Unit guy, I'll be like, oh boy, I'm about to do the thing again. This sets up the heavy conflict between Leslie Nielsen and Mr. Kingsley, which is that Leslie Nielsen wants to start the killing so bad, so, so bad. So bad. Every single bad news is like let me kill them.

They're just like, no, we're trying to make a better new world. And he's like, yeah, but like, why can't we kill some guys to get that? Yeah, and honestly, he's got a point. Yeah, a potentiac point, but uncle didn't notice the theft of some ground to air missiles at any point. I feel like somebody should be keeping track of where there's are.

Yeah, we noticed the theft of amusing books, but they fucking missed the. Yeah, missed the fucking stealing of the fucking missiles. Yeah, great noticed the theft of a music box, but they fucking missed the Yeah, Mr. Fucking Stealing of the fucking Missiles. Yeah great work, man So, so, so, so Mr. Missile shoots down the the plane, the pilot gets killed at least he gets knocked on conscious and the polio makes no attempt to save him, condemns him to a fiery grave Power shoot, it's cool, out onto the salt flat Power shoots out into some stock footage of somebody parachuting,ic. Yep. Yep. Lands on a salt flat. And then we get some... That's not to take the pay-o-tition.

I'm an expressionist cinematographer. Once again, it's on his bullshit because he was like, right, right. Fucking Robert. This is so good. This is so good. Hold still. I'm gonna put this camera under your chin

and just hold it the fuck there. It's going to be a lot of chin shots in this one. I'll be honest. We're going to keep sliding it past you. If you could be looking up with your mouth hanging open and like, desperately confused, this is going to be perfect, Rob. But we need these shots for like pre-surgery for your medical files. Like, we just need chin.

That's all we need. 40 years before the invention of the front facing camera we have perfectly captured accidentally opens front facing camera. We're all looking back for an embarrassed and like sort of mostly chin stumbling around the desert. It's a perfect shot I think it's really good. But I think it would be good if I was like eight less of them. This is the thing. Yeah. But yeah, no, he stumbles for like an hour of movie. Yeah, it's funny for lag. He has walked for like 15 minutes,

right? He's wearing like a shirt and slacks. He's on a salt flattened. This is intended to show us. This is an extremely inhospitable environment, right? What it actually shows us is, when Napoleon Sauer has to wait 10 minutes between drinks, he's like, he's on his way now, he's dying. Yeah, the speed, the speed at which it's either,

the speed at either it's Steve, the speed at which it's easier to Steve catch up to him, like really sells, like he's got about like five minutes away from the record in the way he just got. I'm not a commentator. Like barely got no idea. He's got the fucking DTs. He's got like, really they choose to like cover

his upper lip and like a, it looks a lot like the like numbing cream you put on before electrolysis. Yeah, he looks like he's used too much retinoids. Yeah, he's like, he's like, he's kind of like, a little too much pubg. Yeah, no, he's he's on a little bit of a vision quest. He looks like he's trying to find a cabab after a really heavy night. Like, he's just stumbling through the streets like, oh god, he perfectly ragdolls down a cliff at one point, which I love to bits.

Yeah. Just, like five minutes walk away from the fucking house. Yeah, learn to do the like spell of self paralysis on top of a mountain for fun. And like a bunch of guys and robes find him and they're all making the like trade offer fingers over here. Very awesome. Which is great.

They pick him up and carry him away. We also see, we get another scene that I really like, which is a Garrow wakes up in a room that's been made to look exactly like his office at home with the photo that was stolen, not really clear why that happened, don't worry about it. But Kingsley is there and he says, I'm assembling the seven wonders of the world, intellectual wonders of the world. And we are going to control the minds of everyone

on earth and thereby save the world. And Gara refuses to take part in this plan. The reason I really like this scene is the actor who plays Kingsley's guy called Barry Sullivan. And he really sells it. He really sells that he is absolutely fucking serious about doing this. And people are like, you can't really be controlling

the minds of everyone else. He's like, yes, I am. He's like totally committed to it. It's a great performance. It's something that like Bond villains kind of like try and generally fuck up is like, no, no, I am 100% serious about the Sissy Hypnogas. Yeah.

Like, it may seem ridiculous to you, but I'm like all in on the Sissy Hypnog thing. Yeah. Don't make a drop of that. And so, I mean, Professor Garas, you really brought that here and you're pissed and he's like, yeah, of course I did. Like, what did you think this was? So that was lost in the Himalayan Desert. Yeah, he's still lost in the desert.

At this point, okay, at this point, it's starting to lose me a little bit. We're having that classic lag, early, early, not four of any uncle film, which is like, all right. Let's get these fucking guys to the final location, please. Yeah, which I'm sorry, he's quite clearly the LAX building. Yeah, it's the theme building LA X. It's a big map painting in the Himalayan desert. All right, it's fine. It's a huge map painting through a cave. I'm in viewing my surroundings with a sense of like playful wonder and imagination. I've been here. I've been to this place is L.A. I've seen it. I mean, viewing my surroundings with a sense of fucking wonder and imagination. God,

dammit. L.A. X is even the most evil airport you can film in. There's like clearly airport signs that have been covered up. Yeah, there's most. So it's like, it's like very visibly, L.A. X, but like Steve makes Ilya take him with him to find Solo by bringing a gun and going like take me Steve with him. I want to also be in this movie still, and I'll just like, oh, he wants the type to be intimidated by this, but whatever. The thing is that actually is a real gun. That actor was just like, no, you have to like write me into this.

I was leaving. He reckons he didn't get enough done in his like one shot in the sun. He was like, I need to try that again, boys. I'm not going to go. The game is technique, which is threatened your agent with a weapon. So they fly around the world. And I look up to for a bit. And this once again triggers Leslie Nielsen to go have the argument with Kingsley like,

hey, we're building a better world, we're going to have to kill a few people to get there. Right. And then he fluffes his line in the sound mixing fucks up. It's just that you had the most dub scene I've ever seen in my life. Not even sure what he says, right? That's why I'll protect this, this center of that world. what he says, right? That's why I'll protect this, this center of that world. Now, I would say that he says, he says, it's right.

The subtitles, uh, try to say splinter. It could be sensor. I think it's the center of this world, but it's a sound mixing fucks up. Like, I, I will defend this. It's still sounds like he's setting up a joke. but it's a sound-making fucks-up, like... I would defend this tis-ruv-o. It still sounds like he's setting up a joke. It's impossible to hear Leslie Dielson talk.

It's just a twist of the world, but yeah. It's not gonna be like, uh-huh, yeah. That's how it is on this tis-ruv-o. Imagine if you were best friends with Leslie Dielson and you died and he like spoke at your funeral. And everyone in the funeral was just like, uh-huh? Uh-huh, never happened. Like, like,

leading forward in the fucking fuse. Aha. Imagine if you had an argument with this man, you just be like, I can't, you can't take you seriously. Like, so, so he calls up Mr. Missile and is like, shoot down the helicopter. Which he does.

Let's start for the other. The Missile again. Yeah, the Missile knows where it is. And we then cut back to Kingsley and Webb who have been fucking this entire fucking time. Yeah. A whole time. They took time off from this movie to just fuck, right? I know it's not crazy.

And she wakes him up having exhausted him by fucking him too much with the most ejaculatory champagne. I've ever seen this in a movie. Oh yeah, this is the funniest shit in the world. Oh yeah. How do you make champagne do that? Like I've opened bottles of champagne before and they don't like come on you like that. Yeah, but that's because you've opened them correctly, Alice.

I see. You have to shake it and then open it wrong. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But she does that as a bit and she goes, Hey, check this shit out. Everything's in place. We got the like Kesseman that's going to like drug all of Leslie Nielsen's dudes and like everything's in place for us to go and do the thing. It's honestly impossible to oversell. Like, where is a sleep at the start of a scene, presumably because he's been fucked to like the absolute extent with which a person

can be fucked, and he is woken up by this woman. My mom is sleeping well. Pornily, and he wakes up and like, it takes him a couple of seconds, but immediately he's like back in the room again. He's like, okay, let's go. And like, he's like, he's like badly dehydrated.

He's had no electrolytes at all for like the last 48 hours. And she pitches him on like, okay, now what we're supposed to do is wait for the members of thrush central to get there so we can take over. What if we just didn't do that? What if we sissy hip-node them as well? Yeah. Yeah, what if we just let them get hit with the popper gas and then, um, um, dilate the fuck out of their

assholes? What if we just did that? Um, cause we also, we hear as like Kingsley tries to recruit Solo, basically, with his plan is they've got the Stociility gas. They're going to gas the whole world and then broadcast a signal from the Himalayan Desert brackets LAX to be like, okay, now everybody does what Kingsley says. And then they took the world, they end war forever, they create a generation of robots says Robert Vaughan. I have, I in fact have this.

Robots. Because what he's doing is, so though, is failing a bunch of speech checks in quick succession. He's going to each of these guys and he's like Do you really want to do? Robots and weirdly Leslie Nielsen in the tone that would lead you to believe there's gonna be a joke coming delivers a sort of spy kids to weirdly hard line I'm a soldier. I Realize just about every ambition of my profession except its evolution, which is something I have prayed for for me. Time I saw my first

battlefield casualty. I've realized every ambition of my profession except its abolition. Yeah, hard as shit. It's nice to have like, it's nice to have an ideological clash in the uncle films and King's the actually says says, look, I used to, I wanna change the world, I wanna make the world better. I used to be an uncle agent, but it doesn't work. What we do doesn't make the world any safer. And I just have to keep killing people for uncle and then hope, like, what?

Things are gonna get better? No, I'm not going to, and I'm like, oh fuck. You've been in this battle against evil your entire career, don't you want to win? Which solo calls a blasphemy, which I like as a choice of words, too. It's like, it's just surprisingly well written. This is like sort of like old episodes of Star Trek and stuff

where they smuggle some like actual politics into it. And you get a writer who's like, you know, maybe a frustrated playwright or something and just like decide, okay, fuck you, I'm turning the drama thing up to like, yes, which I really appreciate. Decided to finally put emotional depth in this uncle film and additionally, I have the macro lens. Like, it's the last uncle film we're doing, baby, let's like try to actually have like,

maybe a meaningful message of some description. It also makes sense. It makes sense that Kingsley wants Solo to join them because he's like, you know, you're an uncle agent like me, you get it and Solo's like, no, I won't join you. I don't. Yeah, he reckons that if he can persuade Solo, it'll be just like a complete vindication of his views

because it's not just him. You can have someone else who's starting the same place as him come to the same agreement and it'll be real. But you can't convince Solo and he gets led away. He'll be shot because Nielsen wants to start fucking killing. Ready A. He wants to start the killing so bad. Steven, Steven and Curry are kind of also been captured.

They are lined up in like three and you know, it's fucking borderline Christological. They're going to fucking like inaugurate the new world over these three dead dudes, right? Yeah. Really good shot as well. Actually, the compositions phenomenal. Yeah, yeah. Weirdly, they try and stage this execution firing across a swimming pool because that's just the set that they had. And so they try and conduct the execution. At the last second, Steve's dad sees Steve goes, Steve and Steve is like, Steve says his one line in the movie, which is, that's my dad. He says, there's a reason there's a reason that they call cats in America a cat in the films. And it's because Steve is not a very sex-utraumatic name.

Steve is not an ematic name. That's a reason they call Dr. Strange, Dr. Strange, right? Because Steve just doesn't sound good. The two Steve's. But so this leads to a classic fumbles the gun accidentally shoot Steve's dad's moment to which I wrote down why did you try and stage an execution across a pool you silly bastard. So if it's on this shot, it's a dramatic fall into a pool of course. Yeah, yeah, this leads to Steve being traumatized, Kingsley sees all of this and is like,

okay, right? No more of this jock shit. This is meant is like, okay, right? And no more of this jock shit. This is meant to be nerd world, right? No more, and he, just to prove what an annoying little shit he is, correctly pluralizes, no more drum heads, court, sorry, no more drum head, court's martial. And it's like, he knocked. Fuck off, I can pluralize that correctly.

Peace of shit. Get it wrong, like a normal man. Yeah, just like lock them all up. And then what we'll do is we'll give Solo and Couriac in the city hypnogas and we'll dilate their ass. This is what that will prove. His like absolutely. The argument between Kingsley and Nielsen

is once again macro lens close up. And when Nielsen finally extracts the like fine, we will do the gas on them to test it out. Like the smile is like this slow smile on Nielsen, it's just so good. Also gonna be the episode up because it's a really funny, really all of it.

Because he's wearing sunglasses. It's important to note. That he's wearing sunglasses. It's important to note that he's wearing sunglasses. He does the like drill. The Jack Nicholson did in a few good men. So at this point, he like Kingsley calls his wife. His wife is like, yeah, I'm certainly not like, you know, I don't have like four loads of this guy's come dripping out of me right now. I'm fine. I'll see you in like 10 minutes.

I'll fly out there to the like, surprisingly warm LAX Himalayas. I'll be right there loving you too. And then she like lights her cigarette off a standing candle, which is such a fucking girl boss move. Meanwhile, and this is where you're gonna get the pun. Steve is locked in his dad's replica office, and he's like crying to himself, and the daughter sneaks in to like comfort him. But the audio mixing is fucked,

and they've accidentally doubled the Steve. You get two Steve. Yeah, two Steve. Yeah. There's like reverb on your Steveve because they've doubled the track. And at this point, I wrote down and had to stop for a minute. I steve in stereo. Oh, God, fucking dammit.

You can go and that shit down and like, lent fucking your chair or like born or left. And to be like, like, fuck I'm never beating this. I'm fucking good. I'm really good. The audio makes sound strange. Yeah. If anyone wants to grab both a video and like the audio to the fucking MGMT song and make a fan cam of that. Please be my guest for the like most baroque highest effort to lowest joke for more piece of

you. You're going to find so much effort into this to get something that's like middlingly funny, but it would be pretty alright. I'm Steven. Sorry. I don't get it. So it refers to the MGMT song Little Dark Age, which says I breathe in stereo. Right, right.

Er, yes, feel free to do like 10 to 15 minutes of research and then DM us later going, that was okay. It was, it was funny. It was mid, but I was so proud of myself. That's good, it's good, I'm with you. So Anne apologizes to Stephen, gives him a gun, which is the best apology present. That's right. That's right. And they try and agree to fight their way through.

Yeah, they have to fucking a hard moment where they both agree, like, the options are either, we try and fight our way out of here with one apology gun and probably get killed. Or we stay here and we are enslaved for the rest of our lives. So he's like, yeah, that's his dad's than robots. Not a die fighting actually. And it's like, damn, that goes hard. It's sick. That's a dead than robots.

A guard comes in and sees them and then just collapses without being touched and then I homes with. Yeah, they kill one guard and then the second guy walks in and just hits the deck. I say, oh. Yeah, exactly half one guard and then the second guy walks in and just like hits the deck. I'm gonna say oh Exactly half an hour earlier that guy had done his like work I hate to hate to K-Hole as a guard in like the fucking LAX Situation since that Irish guy who was in a cave hole with Mary Mac at least. So while your base is under attacking you, they're like, oh, for fuck's sake.

Oh no. Oh no. Oh, boys. I did too much. It was all folded up in a little origami thing, and it got on my hand, and I had to do all of it. I couldn't put it back. Fuck. So they bring in Solo and Kuryakun. They pull up the map and it's sort of weirdly awkwardly slow slow rate that like is hanging on one wall to reveal the gas chamber. Actually, they do this two times and it's like out of sync of both times. So low offers the guard his grapes on the way out, which is a nice little touch. And then like the idea is right we're gonna put you in the the fucking gas chamber and then you're gonna get Cersei hip node.

Yeah. At the last second, I think this is like, as the gunfighter is breaking out with Steve and Anika, they like seize advantage of the, like seize the opportunity and like grab one of the dude's guns, they like make a grab for the guy's service weapon. Yeah, shoot out and free and legal thrill. In the course of which, Leslie Nielsen. He gets put in the sissy hip-node chamber. Yeah, he gets put him in the sissy hip-node chamber.

He gets punched into the sissy hip-node chamber as Elior and Solo run away. And like, this is fucking terrifying. Like, Leslie Nielsen really sells this. Like, as it's like raise it up and filling with gas and they're like, we can't stop it, it's irreversible. And like, he fucking sells like, big scared. Be like, get me out of here.

Like, he can't hear him, because it's like soundproof. He's like, trying to shoot his way out and like, bash his way out with his gun. And it's like, it's really scary. What a logistically is. He's so good. He's a, played completely straight and good piece of mime. Yeah.

Yeah. Like, yeah. He really is doing the like trapped in a glass box of mime thing, but like Completely straight. Like tries to hold his breath when the gas comes in, but you can't hold it forever And like the scientists are just like watching him like fuck like. Well Kingsley's kind of like, Maybe I could be into this actually, which is kind of like how you know he's evil. He's like, wow, you know, now we're doing that. Yeah. So you know what's going on? It's like, yeah, he's like, well, shit, the 7-1 does it down to 5, but this point, that's fine to worry about.

Yeah. But he gets gas. He's a bottom now. He comes out worrying the car he is. He does, just, yeah. He's like, totally suggestible, has no initiative of his own. Yeah, they even say they say, why don't you come out and he goes, I haven't been told to. And it's like totally suggestible, has no initiative of his own. Yeah, they even say they say, why don't you come out and he goes,

I haven't been told to. And it's like, any like key smashes for a bit. Yeah. Meanwhile outside, so long, I'm sorry, I can't name things. I like, I like 26 times combo of perfect guy falling off of a ledge shots.

That was the one stunt that we have like this guy falls off ledge. It's like fucking Sam Pekkenpaw in this shit. Like every motherfucker is falling off of a ledge. Meanwhile, Mrs. Kingsley and Webb arrive, and we see that the betrayal has been orchestrated at the hands of our beloved Missile Defense Guy, Mr. Missile. He's the guy who's done it. He gasped everybody.

He was like, hey, do you want to do a bunch of ketamine? Exactly 30 minutes before you go on shift, and they were like, don't mind if I do sounds delightful. So, you know, he's never tried to find a style guy. He's a great animal, he betrays. Kingsley, Kingsley like has a scene where he's like, looking for his keys in a whole way full of dead guards and then runs into his wife.

And great. The great fallacy of the uncle, Phil, and not knowing where your keys are. Not knowing your keys are. She is wearing what I can only describe as a plastic hat. Yes, she is serving cunt is what she's fucking doing. Yes, yes, she is. And where does eating that cut, it's being served up and he's eating it. That's right.

Yes. They get in the big conference room and they pull guns on him This is insanely hardcore the dialogue here. Yeah goes Evil voice Cheatle is just really almost does the line from the joke about using the evil voice Yeah, it's a fool rabbit sick fool. Oh, there is also one other thing that I neglected to mention, which is in the previous gun fight, there's an alarm going off, the whole scene, and this is maybe a loud drop, so I apologize, maybe I didn't like, dial this down. So I swear to God, the alarm is a guy going, like fucking Tina Belcher, because it sounds like this. And that last, that last for like three minutes.

Uninterrupted in the background of all of this. The sound of me after jumping through the plate last window, it was so funny. To me playing Cuffable. King's they tried to reason with her and it's like, come on, we're saving the world by doing this and she says, humanity's dirt and it always will be. You try to argue and she says, I have a gun and that proves I'm right. That's the reality of power. I have the gun and that proves I'm right.

That's the reality of power. And I wrote, I'll say, but she is serving. Yeah. Yeah. And then she serves some more because she goes, you know, what people want isn't like, you know kindness or peace or whatever It's like a like a whip in the hand of a mask Web says people don't never a mask people don't want to be enlightened Web says it is like god damn that fucking goes hard and also check out this fucking tumblr daddy dumb shit, you know

and also check out this fucking Tumblr daddy dumb shit, you know. But so he, he, like, uses his superior criminal mind, right? His criminal brain on them because he goes, uh, uh, general Leslie Nielsen Killam, which he does effortlessly. Because he had a gut in the whole time. He's a bad man. That's a doubt. I want to take him that off in person, but, right.

Yeah. I don't know. But we see that he, like, is grieving his unfaithful, evil wife. Which is he about any any command he's given by anybody who's the only king's name of my Nance is on a postcard. Please anyone at this point. I wrote down Ilya or Solo entirely unrelated to the plot at this point. Yeah, they still a plane which has rockets on it.

They're like red. A little building how little bearing they are having at present. It's it's Yeah, it's a golden skull friend. Yeah, yeah, 100% And so having thus grieved Kingsley goes to the thing the console to try and fucking activate the gas and then slave humanity And they perfectly nail him with a rocket. He ends up in the Yamcha death pose, which I really like.

We see his bloody corpse. Which is the, we don't often see that in Uncle. And also we see that Uncle, they kind of repatriate his body. They kind of Uncle takes possession of King's his body in like a coffin. And there's this moment where like solar reflects on what he said and that's like, did we do the right thing by doing this? Like, and wave and he's like, oh, well, we're about.

Wait, wait, it's like, it's weird. The same thing for you. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. If it's during for your eyes only, they just had cutaways to burn at Lee in a hospital bed going, whoa. That's what he's waiting for. It's like I've heard a piece of heaven shit they've got me on.

It's boys. It's like intubated. There's nothing happening here. My man is out. Yeah, yeah. Leo Carole, let's talk to you. Peace man.

The last shot of both this and the series demand from I really welcome post. It's like them getting fucking general Leslie Nielsen, who is still like this forever, like purely like permanently suggestible, permanently sissy hip-node on the plane. And then the plane just fucking leaves. The purpose is go, you know, it ends abruptly because it's like halfway into the season and it's a really downbeat ending of just like, yeah, no, man, maybe sometimes you go to like,

to kill a go of the rocket. Bye. I liked it, but I mean, we will be back. Yeah, me too. It's like, it's really good. Accidentally, a really like good downbeat ending, but like, God damn, dude, what a note to end on or at least to end on for a while, because of course, we will be back for two more of these, but that's how to steal the world. I mean, the world's not really stolen.

They were trying to steal it, but yeah, how to justify the world would have been a better name, but obviously, yeah, I guess I hadn't created that word yet. So what do we, what do we have to have to say about how to steal the world other than how good upon I Steve and Stereo's? I like it. I think it's good.

Yeah, I think it's a real choice. The unusual, the extreme close up, some of the editing is a bit weird and like technically it's good. Yeah, I think it's good. So I think the real choices are unusual. The extreme close-up, some of the editing is a bit weird. And technically it's not brilliantly made. But the writing kind of fucking goes hard. They really put effort into this. Yeah, I mean, one of the things, Leslie Nelson gets to all the hardest lines. One of the things he says to his boys before they were about to start out in heaven is, you are about to end military history.

You are gonna be the last soldiers on earth, which I, it's like, it's intense shit to grapple with. No, they'd be like, well that just happened. Like it's, yeah, it's amazing. Like, perhaps it's because it's an old fashioned way of speaking that it just comes across as having a great to gravitas than modern dialogue does. But it's, yeah, it's good from, to my mind.

If I can tell that you're doing something with the way you're shooting something, I'll usually quite like it. So the fact that there are so many extreme close-ups, as like a choice, I found to be quite fun. It definitely sets it apart from the rest of them. I don't know how effective it is in selling what you're supposed to get out of it,

but I massively enjoyed that they were doing things. is in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in he's doing this in pursuit of a better world, but there's definitely a moment which he becomes irredeemable. And you can like see him make the choice to be irredeemable. I think that's really solid. I mean, it's like a much more provocative and ideologically interesting as a villainous plan than like, I will break the ten commandments and then question more of a window. All the world. And then I'm going to get blown up accidentally through no action of the good. What?

No, this is like an interesting plan. At least they actually blow this guy up on them by their own like a chord. Yeah, the actor like really sells it. They just like, no, I'm 110% committed to this. I know how serious it is when I'm doing it. It's like, I love it. Yeah, absolutely. And it's a gas.

You know, love a gas. That's true. And I guess we do love a gas. We do love that gas. We fucking love that We won't go on. Yes, Batman. Isn't clear. I'm gonna miss 60's uncle. I'm gonna miss it a lot You know the aesthetic and everything. I love seeing the stuff that it's influenced growing up Like like my favorite thing ever was known, of Sereva, the video game, which is like now is in copy right now. And I owes so much to this,

and like seeing the sort of like, the through lines has been very nice for me. I'm gonna miss the 60s a great deal because I don't really think there's another series that we can do in this season, that is almost entirely in the 60s. For the upcoming and much-lauded crimes season that we're pretending to be.

Yeah, robbery season. Yeah, robbery season. I do want to do all of the pink pant for movies because there's a remarkably large amount of them and they're also all in the 60s and 70s. Yeah. Our next thing after doing a couple more uncles is going to probably be mission impossible

which is going to take us into like the 90s. Yeah, it'll be nice, but it'll be nice to take a few more modern, but more action oriented. We can always come back to the 60s and 70s. The other hand, it's going to suck. I like the 60s more. But we have a science-based racing system on this podcast that allows us to make these sorts of determinations. It's called the SCUM system stands for SMARM, cultural insensitivity,

undervoked violence and misogyny. So on scale of zero to seven, how SMARMy is out still the world? Not very, to be honest, like, pretty, it's pretty low, isn't it? I think I'm also, we take points off for sincerity and just like having Napoleon Seller have an honest to God, like ideological back and forth with the villain, being like, this is blasphemous. This is wrong. You can't do this. I really enjoyed it actually.

Yeah. I honestly think it might be like a, I think there's a little bit of like the fun back and forth we enjoy with like, you know, Napoleon and Ilya with the like, how do I inject the word help with dignity? Yes. That I, even that I think only only kicks it up to a one. Yeah, I think a one. Yeah.

I can't think of a single like Smarmy line at all. So yeah, one. Holtural insensitivity. Bio-mission again is all it is. We've got the seven greatest minds in the world and it's all white. It's not all white men, there's one woman. But it's all white. So Hong Kong is sort of like not appreciably like it's the same as New York, but you have

some like Buddha statues in your house. So him and L.A. is there in California? You want to know one fucking thing though. All of the big geniuses are all white. But remember when Solo wakes up in the location, all of the attendant big geniuses are all white, but remember when solar wakes up in the location, all of the attendant women are Asian. So what the fuck does that say, huh? I think that's the last of the-

That's the long-distance mission, that's active. Yeah, that's also just like Asian women being a survival and so on. Kingsley was on some weebshit, you know? Three? We have a say like a three, yeah. survival and so on. Kingsley was on some weeb shit, you know? Hmm. Three? We have to say like a three, yeah. Unprovoked violence, the film is kind of about that.

Yeah. Like, I'm sort of loathed to punish it for that when it engages with it in a way that like, especially for 1968, pretty fucking thoughtful. Yeah, hot. They do sort of knowingly or semi-knowingly condemn Leslie Nielsen to being permanently bimbo-fied in a sort of like hoist by her own pertard way. Yeah, they could have not provoked.

Yeah, true. Yeah, there's nothing unprovoked that we're supposed to forgive on the part of uncle and a lot of the unprovoked violence is Supposed to like textually show us that this this like greater mission is inherently failing because The violence the uncle commits is explicitly called into question by the film actually Yeah, well, it's and it's left ambiguous whether this is justified or not And there's no uncle chops. Yeah, true. Not any. So fucks it.

Ah, it's maybe sucks, then. It's just a zero. Yeah. Yeah, okay. No, misogyny. Well, I mean, we have a capable, evil, sexually betraying woman, which is like a bunch of misogyny stangis, he's rolled into one.

Right? We got a sort of a beautiful, fee-li-old orser who doesn't really that drawn as a character and like, needs. Like she has a gun and her first action is to like give it to a dude named Steve. Yes. Which, Robo Vaughn doesn't try and fuck her though. That's true. Robo Vaughn, like like nobody fucking anyone in this movie. Yeah, he's gotten like a zero pussy MF for the last few The last few is not getting wet. I mean if anything quite the opposite given that he's in a salt flat He'll just try his hands on his jeans

I mean, it's I think I think it is a bit. It's surprisingly, sort of like, forward about like, oh, this woman's fucking, but in a way that is designed to both titulate and also be like, because she's evil. Yeah, I mean, in the Uncleverse women are definitely in support roles unless they are evil. Yeah, I mean, in the uncle verse women are definitely in support roles, unless they are evil. And also, like, when they're on, just like in real life. Yeah, if you want to be like a real sort of like agent in your own life as a woman, you have to start lying for fun and like being evil. And that, you know, that's what led me to start podcasting. Yeah. And, you know, it will take you to great places in your career and also, you know, allow you to fuck a lot more.

Yeah. So it should, well, yeah. What do we think? Poppers. I don't know. I don't know, too. Really? For, I don't know.

This is ready to be done with this. Look at the small sheet of this is kind of important. But it's fine. The standard number, what you're hedging it. Three. Look at the small sheet of this is kind of important. Oh, but it's me. The status number when you're hedging it. Three. Three is the number where we hedge our bets. So three.

Okay, that gives this a total score of seven, 007, which makes it the best uncle film we've watched by some way, but not quite the best film we've ever watched. It's on a par with you to a kill and born supremacy, but the best film we've ever watched. It's on a par with you to a kill and Bourne Super Emory, but the best film we've ever watched is Cilla Bourd Identity on 6. That fits. That fits to me because I don't think it is the best film we've ever watched, but it's in contention. It's sort of within a hair's breadth of it. Definitely. I agree. I think it's my favorite of the uncles. It's just a hundred-year-old. Sorry, that's not true.

Spy with my face is still my favorite. It's problematic as it is. It's just funny for big stupid. Yeah, I mean, like imagine trying to put the vault in this movie. Like, how is he? Oh God, the vault. The vault. Every couple of minutes actually,

it's constantly in my head. I've become obsessed with this too, because like in the course of look at these, I look at what episodes they come from. And I look at like a list of Uncle Episodes, and oh man, they did some fucking episodes. You know, there's one in here with like a possessed Hula doll. There's a fucking what?

A few atomizers with a secret formula. There's one with like solo and Kuryak and have to become roommates. It's like all of the just getting a one line synopsis of a man from Uncle Episode is a perfect tantalizing little glimpse. And now it's about to like slip out of my reach. Yeah, there is a degree to which I do want to just like watch these obviously not for the podcast,

because there's 800,000, but I would just like in my own time to watch some of these. It's like 106, 105 episodes. Yeah, beautiful. But there's one more film, the return of the man from Uncle the 15 years later. It's a full length film. I just looked it up. It's 96 minutes long.

So we'll have a full, a full Uncle film to go out on before we bid goodbye to Robert Vaughan and David McCallum. And then there'll be one left to the Supercancellation. Yes, that's fucking go. In the meantime, the next bonus episode, the next bonus episode is gonna be... Well, if I can... Listen, listen. Alright, I'm gonna say that like in sideline you often...

If the person who served me took a personal oath of honor, I know that played you one questioning obedience. The next bonus episode, Pedro Mordeaux, por la sorbonne de mi madre. That's what it's gonna be, or fucking else. Thank you for listening. Yes, ma'am.

Yes ma'am. We have a Patreon, and you can subscribe to it, and you should in order to hear that, and we will return with 15 years later a fair the band from Uncle brackets, old brackets twink there. Bye! Bye! Love you! Thank you for listening to yet another episode of Kill Chames Bond. Now, if you are listening to this on the free feed,

it is my solemn duty to inform you that the winter of content has come to its conclusion. It is no longer winter. I went out on my balcony earlier and I did the sort of Punx-A-Tourney fill thing and I went, we will not have six more weeks of winter in fact. We will have six more weeks of content but that content will be behind the Iron Paywall. And speaking of the Iron Paywall, we would be nothing without

the love and support of our 15 pounds above patrons and those are. Candy Fox, Freya Aloishes, congrats on the fucking Kendo tournament by the way for a... Starvo Lira, Jack Holmes, Mike Burg, Hannah Oberhard, Nick Boris, Kentucky Fried, Komi, Yarrick, Nate Omori, Cohen, Enright, Harriet, Cock, Devon, Secret Nemesis, Labour, Dylunder, Est, a girl named Kat and a cat named Dreadful was a mandious, beef-crime, library-hit-man, Max Gamanhart, Callan Bernie, Jack Drummond, Jonathan Gherdy, Hit Divine, Hell, J Martin Del Weissame, Jonathan Seagull, Top O, Big Titty Goth Girl, Harrison Fuller, Mothman, George Rohack, Trip, Isopod Gel, Clara Roasting Marshmallows, Oh no, it's Andrew 95, Violet

Cybra, Alex, the spy who ruined my marriage, Liz and Ash in Florida, the trans robot, Men's Room Louie, Ronan, Annie Ruby, Connor's Cool Big Sister, Warscott, Sophia Lucifer, Mazz, I do and Mazz, Zoe Shepherd, Emily has given up on jokes. Sorry to hear that, I hope that's not my fault. Elizabeth Cox, Finn Ross, Quinn Valeri, Roll HistoryPod, Josie Alfredo, Artemis Potter, and Elizabeth Ball, Turfsy, Shitton, Dyerloan, Ray Aria, Wolfie, Al Erwing, Robert Greensmith, Millie, Josh Simmons, Lauren Bastin, and Lods, Icock. Thank you all so much.

Lauren Bastin and Lodz Pichok. Thank you all so much! Gail James Bond is Alice, Abigail and Devon. Our producer, the wonderful Nepathy, our podcast art is by Mattie Lepchanski and our website is by Tom Allen. And I have an announcement to make in a few weeks' time. See ya! 감사합니다.