KILL TONY - KILL TONY #344

Episode Date: May 9, 2019

Andrew Santino, Steve Rannazzisi, William Montgomery, David Deery, Joel Jimenez, Chris Dillon, Jeremiah Watkins, Tony Hinchcliffe, Brian Redban – Date: 05/06/2019     Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hey, this is Red Band, and you're listening to Kill Tony. Check out our website, DeathSquad.TV. There we have every past episode of Kill Tony, including video portions to all the shows. You can click on tour dates. Not only are we doing Kill Tony every Monday at the World Famous Comedy Store, but we're on the road.

We're about to start this huge world tour. The next one is Phoenix, Arizona. That's right, we're returning to Phoenix. Also Las Vegas, Salt Lake City, Utah, Boise, Idaho, Spokane, Washington, Portland, Oregon, Vancouver and Seattle, Washington. Go to Death Squad TV. Click on tour dates to find the entire list of this world tour. Again, that's Death Squad TV. Click on tour dates. Also, you can check out Tony Hinchcliffe's website, Tony Hinchcliffe.com.

There you have everything Golden Pony. And Ryan J. Ebelt, he draws every episode. He drew the Kill Tony book and the new poster. Go to RyanJEbelt.com. And last but not least, ShopSquad.tv. That's the official merchandise of the Death Squad universe. You have the Kill Tony shirt. Well, there's only a couple left.

And you also have Death Squad hats and thermals and mugs. Go to shopsquad.tv. And now, here's a brand new episode of Kill Tony. Hey, this is Red Band coming to you live from the road-famous Comedy Store Main Room for our brand-new episode of Kill Tony. Give it up for Tony Hinchcliffe. Wow, how exciting, guys. Make some noise. We're here on a Monday night.

You're at the number one live podcast in the world. Brian Red Band is here, everyone. Look at this guy. Great Ryan J.E. Belt is here drawing tonight's episode. While you guys all sit there, he draws all the prints of every single episode, including the Kill Tony posters and tour posters. And hello to everyone on YouTube watching live from around the world. That's always fun.

I'm excited about this episode, Brian. You guys excited to be here? Very good. This is an exciting week for us. This is our last show at home before we start the next stretch of our tour. This Thursday we are in Phoenix, Arizona. And Saturday, still some tickets available, believe it or not, for the Dive Bar in Las Vegas, Nevada, which we've done before. Gigantic rock club.

So much fun. And then next week, it just goes. On Tuesday, Salt Lake City. Then Boise, Spokane, Portland, Vancouver, Seattle. Two shows in Seattle next Sunday night. That's exciting. And then back here Monday. Yep.

Every single Monday, we're back here at the Comedy Store. And then we go back out the first week of June. Lawrence, Kansas, Omaha, Des Moines, Appleton, Milwaukee, Chicago, Madison, Minneapolis, Poughkeepsie and two shows at the Gramercy Theater in New York, New York. We added a second show to the already sold out Saturday night or Thursday night Gramercy Theater in New York. That's crazy. Those are the tour dates coming up. And then of course Kill Tony Mania in San Francisco, of course, Kill Tony Mania in San Francisco and the road to Kill Tony

Mania in Sacramento. Now there's some Northern Californians here tonight. And I'm excited about this. We have Caveman Coffee here, of course, on the old table. No Starbucks on our table like Game of Thrones. No, we're different than them. I left it somewhere. It's Caveman Coffee

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You say that so much at the end of ZipRecruiter. I noticed that. You say it like 20 times at the end of that one. What's that? ZipRecruiter, ZipRecruiter, ZipRecruiter. It says must read. It says must read and the check's clear, believe it or not. So natural.

So I just read it every week. I'm like, the check cleared? They're like, yep, all good. I'm like, all right, I'm going to do it the same way because that is the smartest way to hire. ZipRecruiter.com slash kill Tony. They make you spell it too. It says read.

It says spell it out. I like it. I like it. They know what they're doing, and they're running a great business over there. You've used them before to hire people on things, and we use it here on Kill Tony. We like keeping things all natural, you know what I mean, yet professional, much like you should keep your genitals and whatnot, which reminds me,

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you told me that it came with ball spray, and I said it was cologne, and I had been putting ball spray on my face. Yeah. Well, I found out that that's actually not true. Like, they actually have a cologne, and it has the scent of Manscaped. Well, then I've been putting cologne on my balls. Always use the right tools for the job. Your balls will thank you. Get 20% off free shipping and a free travel bag With the code TONY At manscaped.com

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It's my own body It'd be weird if it was cologne And you sprayed cologne on your face Brian Like if. It'd be weird if it was cologne and you sprayed cologne on your face, Brian. Like if it was actually cologne and it was cologne, you were spraying. No, I spray it underneath my neck. Oh, okay. I don't spray it on my mouth or anything. Alright. Okie dokie. A little bit of extra

ad reads for our advertisers. By the way, if you get pulled over and you have a little thing of cologne in your car, spray it in your mouth. It kills the smell of alcohol. Wow. That is a horrible idea. That is, spray it in your mouth. It kills the smell of alcohol. Wow, that is a horrible idea. That is alcohol. Alcohol is in that. Right, it mixes with that other alcohol.

Brian has no idea how they make cologne, ladies and gentlemen. You saw it here live. Spray cologne in your mouth to get rid of the smell of alcohol. I'm excited about this episode. We always have the funniest guests in the world on this show. This week's no different. This is fucking monster land, ladies and gentlemen.

Two of our favorite guests. Make some noise for them. The great Steve Ranazzisi and Andrew Santino. Come on, guys. Who has more fun on a Monday than us? Absolutely nobody. Whiskey Ginger's own Andrew Santino. What's the odds?

Steve ran as easy. Excited you guys are back here. Thank you, buddy. Life is good. Steve, you're at Cobbs this weekend. Cleveland Hilarity is next weekend. Andrew Santino is in Vegas this weekend. Vegas, baby.

So are we. I know. We'll all go together. Pew, pew, pew, pew, pew. Hit that thing. Hit that thing. It's going down, dude. We're doing it.

You're in Raleigh. Good nights. The weekend after that where we just had fun. We had a crazy Kill Tony there. We trapped the sound in those fucking brick walls. Raleigh is a fun place. I'll pull it out when I get there. I'm glad you guys are here.

By the way, they were on Kill Tony's number 60 together back in the day. Yeah, together. No idea. That's true. That's the first time we met. Oh, my God. Kill Tony number 60. Yeah. That is unbelievable. Really? Yeah, together. No idea. That's true? That's the first time we met. Oh my god. Kill Tony number 60. That is unbelievable. Really? You guys don't even remember that.

Was it a Ginger episode as well? Yeah. It was. I played Red Red Wine. I think it's awesome. Cool. My goodness. Well, things have changed since episode 60. We have a band on this show now. You guys know about this? Yes. You guys like bands at all?

Every single week, they play different characters, and they're master improvisers, and they hang out and watch the whole show with us. We never know what they're going to be, what they're going to do. They have a separate green room separate from ours, so we're always excited to find out. Sometimes it's the return of a famous character. Sometimes it's a brand new character. Let's see what

happens. Ladies and gentlemen, I give to the best damn band in the land. It's the Kill Tony band. Jeremiah Watkins, Joelberg Joel Jimenez, and Chroma Chris. Here we go. What? The guys from Home Improvement? Are you fucking kidding me?

Wow. Oh my god. They are... This is the first... What? This is the first time this has ever happened. Very exciting. Not a broad subject matter

at all. This is a niche thing. It's the cast of Home Improvement, ladies and gentlemen. Yes. Wow. Tim, the tool man, Taylor. Hotter than ever. Tim, show the audience how that tool belt's barely sticking.

No ass. Turn around there, no ass. Holy shit. Oh, wow. What a physique. Oh, my God. You need hips to hold that thing. You need suspenders for your tool belt, Tim.

My goodness. Tim the Tool Man Taylor is here from Home Improvement. Hiya, Tony. What brings you guys to Kill Tony? Anyway, I'm excited that you're here playing in the band tonight. We have Tim the Toolman. Right? Am I saying that right?

Tim the Toolman. Tim the Toolman Taylor. Wow. the tool man Taylor. Wow. And then clearly next to you we have the new Chucky doll from the new Child's Play movie.

This is what would happen if Chucky actually took over the body of the kid he was always trying to take over. Chroma Chris. That's Al, table for one, Borland. Thank you. Wow. Wait till you see his mother. Oh my God.

My mother's a fat cow. And then back here, clearly we have an immigrant boy trying to sneak over the border to America. They really built that wall, Tony. Wow. I'm Wilson. Yes, no, we know. That's fucking awesome.

Chromacris looks like the transitioning isn't going well. It's like you bailed halfway through the meds. My goodness. He is so boring. I love it. Wow, a lot of production value. I love it, man. I'm excited about this.

You guys excited to have the cast of Home Improvement here? Steve Ray, Nazezy, Andrew Santino, Red Band. Everything's in position. And here I have the one and only Bucket of Destiny, ladies and gentlemen. A bunch of people signed up for the chance. Maybe it's an audience member. Maybe it's one of these many comedians that come every week. Some of them sign up for months and months,

and it all comes down to the luck of the bucket. If I pull your name out, that means you get 60 seconds on this stage. You know your time is up when you hear the sound of a kitten. And wrap it up then, or else you're going to bring out the angry West Hollywood bear. And then we talk with you and interview you and talk with you about things that maybe we should find out about you. Maybe there's other interesting things about you. You guys excited about this? Here we are.

It's like Kill Tony episode 60 all over again. It really is. So here we go. Let's start the fucking show. I'm excited about this. Come on, guys. Make some noise one more time. It really is. So here we go. Let's start the fucking show. I'm excited about this. Come on, guys. Make some noise one more time. Here we go. We're done. Things are going almost too smoothly

so far for those of you that... Alright. Here we go. I pulled the name out of the bucket. 60 seconds uninterrupted goes to Sam Swenny. Sam Swenny. S-W-E-N-Y. There it comes, I think. Here we go. One more time for Sam Swenny. Thank you. thank you.

So I was walking down the street the other day, and I was smoking a joint, and I walked past this homeless-looking guy, and he was like, hey, man, can I get a hit? And I was thinking about it, because I'm a nice guy, and then I was like, sorry, man, germs. And he was like, oh, no, it's all right. I don't mind.

The other day I was walking down the street, same street, different direction, but I saw a sign for lost dog on the telephone pole, and it said reward, dollar sign, dollar sign, dollar sign, no specific amount, which is kind of bullshit because I've got to know exactly how hard I should be looking. And maybe this dog isn't lost. This is Los Angeles, the land of opportunity.

Maybe it's just seeking out some new representation. You see the billboards for a dog's journey. It's like, I could really be something in this town. It's walking to Warner Bros. thinking it's going to be the next Air Bud. Looks over, it sees its picture on the telephone pole. It's like, what the fuck? That's not even my good head shot.

Come on. Hell yeah, it's like, what the fuck? That's not even my good headshot. Come on. Hell yeah. Sam Swenny. Thank you. What song is that? It's the opening to Whiskey Ginger. Oh, wow. That's so cool.

Wow, really? Thank you, man. Starting off strong. Was it the same street that you were walking down both times, for real? It was Sepulveda. What's the street? Sepulveda. Very nice.

Were you looking for hookers? No, but I see them all over the place. Yeah, that's... I was just thinking about what I'm going to say up here. Wait, what? Walking on the street, I'm just thinking about what I'm going to say up here. And what did you think? I saw the sign, and I was like, that's kind of bullshit that there's no specific dollar sign amount.

You are adorable, Sam. Out of everybody on this stage, I'm surprised you're not the one in a 90s sitcom. That's a good one. Was home improvement a sitcom? I don't think that's the right word. I just walk up Sepulveda

a lot. I live on Sepulveda. How old are you? 22. 22 years old, just walking up and downveda a lot. I live on Sepulveda. How old are you? I'm 22. 22 years old, just walking up and down the street like a grown man. You see a lot. You can see a lot. You go to that batting cage on Sepulveda? I do. Yeah, you're a fucking wacko, aren't you?

You're a weirdo. Strange bird. I do crazy things. You got kids? No. No. So he's just going there to look at other people's kids? You play mini golf by yourself?

I'm a kid. I'm a kid. I have fun. You have your own batting helmet? No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I'm a kid. I have fun. Yeah, I do.

No, you're not. I have fun. Is that where you're from, the Valley? No, I'm from, originally I'm from Pennsylvania. What part of Pennsylvania? Erie, Pennsylvania. Erie, Pennsylvania. I know all about it.

Oh, you do? Yeah. Yeah, I almost died there once. I almost drowned right there, right in the undertow of Lake Erie, Pennsylvania. Erie, Pennsylvania. I know all about it. Oh, you do? Yeah. I almost died there once. I almost drowned right there. I'm not surprised. Right in the undertow of Lake Erie. Yeah, people drown every year there. I had a Phil Collins type of moment.

Too bad. It's cool. It's pretty epic. You ever almost drown in Lake Erie? Multiple times, yeah. How about pussy? You ever drown in pussy? I got to guess.

Occasionally. But no, but we... Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Tim, the tool man. Tim likes it. Tim likes that one. I like that one. Back home, we actually have a lot of parties down by the lake.

Uh-huh. So, like, a lot of people almost drown. Wow. Yeah. A lot of your firsts happen at a lake? Like a first kiss or something like that? No. Near the lake.

Geographically close to the lake. Where did you drown her exactly? Was it a tributary? No. No, no, no, no, no. It wasn't like that. So you're 22. Tell us more about being 22. What's that like?

So you're asking me if I ever drown in pussy. I have had sex a handful of times, but I've never been tested. A handful? Is that what you call masturbating? That's good. No, but a handful of times, good handful. And I've never been tested. I've never been tested for STDs, but today I just went for my first time.

Here comes a bit. There it is. Nice. Whoa, you did get tested. Wait, don't clap. He doesn't know the results yet. I don't even care. I actually have the results right here, ladies and gentlemen.

Oh, shit. But I'm in the clear so far for the first test. In the clear. What was the first test for? Rapid HIV. Wow. Oh, yeah. But I'm in the clear so far for the first test. In the clear. What was the first test for? Rapid HIV. Wow. Oh, yeah. Perfect.

Way to hit the guns hard right at the beginning. Yeah. Rapid HIV. Do you do poppers? You seem like somebody that would do poppers. No. You look like you didn't get vaccinated. You've been vaccinated?

Yes. Okay. Yes. Prove it. Yeah. What are poppers? What? What are poppers?

How do you know what poppers is? No, I have no idea. What's a popper? No, it's these gay guys. It's from the 60s. Red Band's making drug references from the 60s. No, you can still buy them in some places. Raise your hand if you're doing poppers.

Raise your hand. Oh, boy. Look at that. There's a whole popper faction over here. I stay away from the hard drugs, though. Right. We were talking about jalapeno poppers.

Okay. Why don't you move here? I love this. A year and a half ago, about. How's it going? I like it a lot. I started out working for this guy who ran Airbnbs, and I just kind of got out of doing that. I was cleaning and making sure the apartments have towels and toilet paper and all that.

Yeah, a guy that paid you to sleep in his bed. No, but I just got done doing that and I feel like a new person. I wasn't able to focus on anything I came here to focus on. I finally feel like I'm... Because you were taking care of so many Airbnbs that you couldn't focus on your comedy.

If you could afford a hotel, just do a hotel. Alright, guys? Wow, look at you. What's going on in those Airbnbs you're cleaning? You see a lot of hidden cameras, don't you? There's some characters that go through them. Like what? What are you talking about? What have you seen? Like one time, I came into an

apartment to clean it, and there was a bunch of Zippo lighters. It just looked like someone was... Zippo lighters? Shut up! What the fuck were they doing in there? Did they have wicks? Oh my God. The Church of Satan? They were taken apart and there was Wait a minute, dude. Was there lighter fluid all over

the place? No. Fuck. It was weird. I thought someone was trying to make bombs or something. With Zippo lighters? No, but there was cell phones too. There was cell phones and weird shit. Oh, you're simple, bro. I'm telling you.

And I've walked in. I've walked in on squatters before. I was supposed to check somebody into an apartment, and I walk in, and there's people who are just in there. Well, how did they get in? You left the door open? Yeah, he left the door open, dude. No, they broke in. How'd they break in?

Just the window. Have you ever fucked in an Airbnb while you were cleaning? You ever invite someone up? You did. Yes, he did. Bad boy. Did you ever jerk off in one? Yeah.

You filthy fucking animal. Before or after you cleaned it? Like when the laundry was going. After. That's a full after then. Not completely done. Just kind of killing time. You got tested because you've never used a condom. that why I never I have yeah, you've used one once

I always do oh you always you so what you get tested for yeah, wait a second. They don't always stay intact, bro You're good. Yeah You take it off yeah, what do you take it off? Oh, it's not intact anymore. What do you take it off? Yeah, what do you take it off for? You're like, oh, it's not intact anymore. What do you take it off and stretch in the middle? They just absolutely break down the shaft. That's when the girl is dry. Break down the shaft? What are you, a urologist?

Sam, where have you seen this happen at? Where have you seen condoms break down a shaft? I don't know why I'm talking about this. No, you're fine. Just stick with me. Don't worry about them or that camera or any of the microphones. Stick with me here, Sam.

You're doing a good job. You're being honest. Who's breaking down shafts? Me. You break down shafts. Inadvertently, it happens. You're done? Yeah.

And the girl's like, hey, just take it off and put it in. You're like, look, I'll just put another one on. No, they usually just act like they don't care. And I'm like, this is kind of. You just don't tell her. I'm kind of worried how, like, unworried they are. Oh, yeah.

Because they're. I'm worried how unworried they are. Welcome to Los Angeles, bro. Tony. Yes. That's who I got to. Yes. I'm going to go to Wilson.

Tony, when I was in high school, my health teacher put a condom over her head and she said that if a guy ever tells her that the condom doesn't fit, that they're liars. Like Howie Mandel? She did the Howie Mandel thing? She did the Howie Mandel thing. With a condom?

Wow. So you've never actually seen a broken condom before? No, I have. You have, but it wasn't on your penis. No, it was. So you have had unprotected sex with a woman atom before. No, I have. You have, but it wasn't on your penis. No, it was. It was. So you have had unprotected sex with a woman at one point. Correct, yes. Right.

And you just put it right back in there? You just threw it in? For how long? Well, like once the damage is done. This is how we do it. This is how we do STD tests here at the Comedy Store. It's kind of like a beautiful mistake. Yeah.

Once Hulk breaks through the T-shirt, you're still going to continue the movie. Tim the Tool Man Taylor. Are you looking for a condom to last? Try the Binford 2100. Wow. All right, Sam. Well, how long have you been doing stand-up comedy? So I was kind of just dipping my toes in the water for a little bit.

Wow, look at that. Did you have condoms on your toes when you did it? No. And then I just kind of started taking it serious when I came home from Christmas. I went home for Christmas. Of course, you went home alone for Christmas. Look at you. Everybody left me all by myself.

Whoa! It's crazy here in Pennsylvania, Christmas time. Whoa! He's here in Pennsylvania, Christmas time. Whoa! And like I said, I just stopped working for the Airbnb guy, which was pretty much like I was an indentured servant almost, so it's like I feel free now.

No, not seriously. It was a great job. It was good while it lasted. Take that, black people. It served its purpose. No, the job served its purpose. So in a sense, you could say you leveled up in life, huh? Whoa. Look at this.

No, I'm actually still currently unemployed, so if anybody has any manual labor jobs... I don't think your body type screams manual labor. My resume does. Anybody's looking to push a broom around. This guy's got you locked up. Maybe Tim, are you looking for a new tool boy?

Hell no. Tool boy? Tool boy. You need a tool boy, don't you? This guy wants to get drilled. All right. Well, Sam, thanks so much for coming on the show. So much fun.

There you go. Sam Swenney, everybody. 22 years old. He's already at the comedy store making friends, doing sets, meeting people. I'm hoping some of these audience members signed up. We have a good looking

audience out there tonight. I'm telling you. Not very, I don't think ever in the history of the show have I said that, but I'm looking out there. There are some charismatic faces. You see this fucking guy right here? Did you sign up tonight, sir? You. Yeah, you in the cool shirt. You signed up? Is it your first

time signing up? Wow, very cool. You've guys broke a condom before, right? For real. We're going back on broken condom right now. What do you want to talk about? No, that's a real thing. Okay.

Yes, yes, yes. Indeed, Red Band. We know you are the king of breaking condoms. You can suck your own dick and anything that goes on your dick can break immediately. I have, yeah, but it's usually when things are very dry. Yeah, which is all the time. Three times in my life I didn't wear a condom. That was when I

made my three beautiful kids. Alright, pull the name out of the bucket. 60 seconds uninterrupted coming from Thomas C. Nash, everyone. Thomas Nash. Thomas the Nash. From that ledge, my friend, I wish that you would step back.

I think he's stuck. Step back from that ledge, my friend. Is that him? It cannot be him. Is that Thomas C. Nash? Does he walk like The Undertaker? Here he comes. Oh, Jesus Christ. He's still coming.

Here we go. Hey! Thomas Nash. Thank you, Chuck Norris and Christian Bale. So I'm clearly dressed like one of the members of Smash Mouth, and I just wanted to let everybody know that I am sick and tired of everybody not screaming when they're on stage! No? See what I mean?

See, if I'm a guy, I'm supposed to be required to sit here and hold the mic with my shoulders closed like this and jerk off the mic stand, put it up and down. It's clearly at the level that I already need it at. But do I do this, or do I fuck the stool? Do I come over here and fuck? Is this more of a fuck the stool crowd? I saw some UFC jiu-jitsu guys out there.

You're probably fucking, I better be careful. I just did a kick. That's half Brian Callen's act. I might beat the shit out of me for that right there. You're probably fucking... I better be careful. I just did a kick. That's half Brian Callen's act. That's my beat the shit out of me for that right there. Stealing jokes, doing a kick on stage. I rode my scooter up here. I just bought a Vespa. Fat guy, scooter, Hollywood. Yes, that's the sound it makes

when I start it. Meow. Meow. Meow. Gentlemen. Gentlemen. gentlemen alright I guess so I guess that's him closing out Thomas C. Nash so alright

there's nothing Thomas hey can I just say that set did not measure up? Tim, very interesting. You have a lot of anger in you. I sense a lot of anger. You're like an angry R2-D2 unit or something like that. Well, somebody once told him the world was going to roll him,

and he's not the sharpest tool in the shed. Although the shed is where the tools are. And he is the roundest. Yeah. So it's easy to roll. Clearly. Tony, did you call him an angry R2-D2? More like angry R2-D2.

Is that the one that rolls around? Like, woo-woo-woo-woo-woo. Stop trying to be funny. It's not working. But that's the thing is it doesn't matter if they? Stop trying to be funny. It's not working. But that's the thing is it doesn't matter if they don't think I'm funny. I was on the fence about you. No longer. Well, because eventually if I keep coming around like a bad case of Hollywood Mike herpes,

eventually you won't forget me and I'm going to be spread everywhere. Thomas, hold on. You got to sort of follow along with us here. Yes. Let's check in again with Tim the Toolman. Tim, Tim. I'm honestly shocked. I thought a guy with calf tattoos would have brought it.

So, Thomas, let's talk about it. Give it up for Tim the Toolman Foxworthy. Okay. Thomas, stick with it. It doesn't work when you make fun of characters. They're impervious. But they're not real. But that's like... He sold cocaine. Thomas, stick with it. It doesn't work when you make fun of characters. They're impervious. But they're not real. But that's like...

He sold cocaine. Thomas, stick with me. Stick with me here. Just breathe, buddy. Breathe. Do you need your sleep apnea machine right now? What's going on? No.

Just breathe. Stick with me here. It's a live show, so I'll help you through this. So let's talk about it, right? A lot of anger, right? I'm actually a pop punk kind of happy guy. How long have you been doing stand-up? This is my third time.

Third time. And most of your complaints were about what you see people do, what? Like open mics and stuff? It just sticks, you know? Like I almost drunk a beer for 30 minutes. Drink the fucking beer! Jesus, come on. You're talking about

the comedian. Just, just, I, funny. Funny's funny, but then there's this technique. And then there's you. Yes, exactly. Like, look, look, a fat guy can still do the truffle shuffle, hey, and it's fucking funny, you know why? But Thomas, have you noticed

all the things that you're doing? That was damn disgusting. Wow, okay. Well. Alright. We've been on But Thomas, have you noticed all the things that you're doing? That was damn disgusting. Wow, okay. Well, we've been on this show. We know that. So Thomas, have you noticed that every time that you do the things that you say, always get a laugh no matter who does them, aren't working for you? But I hear the laughs in my head.

Alright. So Thomas, let's just talk about life for a second. So you've only done this a couple few times, right? Yeah, twice in the belly room. Right. And then tonight. And every time, second time going up.

Every time. Was it just the belly room because you were there? Indeed. Indeed. Indeed. Indeed. So, Thomas, let's talk about it. You're starting out in stand-up.

I love it. That takes some courage. What you been doing up until this point? How old are you? 34. 34. And what do you do for work? Hold on. Vegas DJ? That's a good fucking guess.

Partied with a few. Okay. What do you do? I'm an actor. I'm also a musician. I'm also a rapper. So I do all of it. I said Vegas fucking DJ. Did I not clap for my what I do? Clearly the worst, but it's the most fun. Are you still cool with

your parole officer? Never had criminal charges, although. OK. All right. See, see laughs. Thomas, you said actor. I said nothing. Laugh. Thomas, relax. You're going to go far actor first. I said nothing. Laughs. Thomas, relax, buddy.

You're going to go far in this town. I love him. The first two people I met was Tony and Red Band the first hour in this town. This is where I came. I'm sitting here and I'm like this and I go, fucking Thomas, stop, stop, stop. So they're blaming it on you. Everybody, hold on,

hold on, hold on. Stop. Everybody, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop. So Thomas, we're going to start with actor here. Yes. Have you been in anything that we might recognize? I was just in a movie

that's an Amazon series and it's called, shit, look at my MVD page. What? Fuck, I forgot. Hold on. You forgot it? I smoked my vape pen.

It's just Thomas Nash. Is it Mozart in the Jungle? You were in that, right? No, da, da, da, da, da, da, da. What was it called? Marvelous Mrs. Maisel? It was called Legacy. Thomas, what's your last name?

Nash. Thomas Channing Nash is what it is. How many Thomas Nash's must there be on that? He's not the first one. There actually is a couple so I had to put Channing.

I thought people were weird when they changed their name in Hollywood. Turns out, no, other people have your name. So they're not as douchey as they were. Look at the size of this guy's fucking bio. Wait, that's him? Being born in the backwoods of Tennessee, performing at schools. It sounds so good when Santino reads it. Jesus.

Jesus. Thomas Channing Nash was born to change people's hearts through the mediums of acting, music, and living a life. What? Who wrote that? Your mom? He's got a huge body of... That's right.

Change his heart to mine. Andrew Santino, quote. Yeah, I guess. I'm on your fucking bio. If they ever need a fat Walter White, you'd be great. Oh, my God. He's got a huge body of work. And if I did math, I wouldn't be fat anymore. I'd be like Jonah Hill when he's

not fat. He's not funny. You cancel everything great out about this show. It's people like you that just ramble. Like it's just like when you just like say every you say every first thing that comes to your head and you think that it's fucking gold. Hey, ain't nothing wrong

with silver. Ain't nothing wrong with silver. You just did it again. You can't even help yourself. No, that was my laugh. Don't point at it like that's your laugh. No, that was like 10%. This one's mine too. You hear it?

You hear it? It's still happening. Rosie Riveter, 1%? No. You hear the quiet now? Damn it. But no, I hear laughs. I hear laughs. How many Finnish tattoos

do you have? I'm working on them. The funny thing is, the last one I got, this one, it hurt so bad. And it's the last one I was like, I gotta stop. I'm done. I'm done. Cool. So I believe the second thing you mentioned was musician. What

musically, do you play any instruments? I play the drums, guitar You really play the drums? Is that true? Oh I didn't know that Oh dude Hold on This guy looks like Peter Griffin

I figured you'd want to hear the rap Hold on a second I don't think Wilson wants to do it at all Honestly sure I'll steal his soul But you know He wasn't even fucking worthy of this. The only soul stealing will be done by Santino. God damn it.

Dude, you still suck. Okay. I know. Thomas, are you any good on the drums? I'm pretty good. Great. He's confident. No.

I don't think we should save it, I think. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Come on. There's other comedians that want to get up. I mean, I don't want to. He's just so unlikable He's just so unlikable Everybody relax Wow, these people want it, look at that They're chanting for drums

Just take your hat off before you do anything Yo, I'm bald, hey, I gotta cover that bald spot up I just don't even think we're on the same team Yeah, oh I got that down in Venice Don't care, thanks That's cool This is incredible, Thomas Oh, it says Goodfellas. I got that down in Venice. Don't care, thanks. It's cool.

This is incredible. Thomas, you're one of the worst humans we've ever had on this show. Wow. You had us at check my IMDb page, but somehow that was the most likable thing you said your entire time up here. Can you give us some type of redeeming quality about you or something like that? Perhaps

I'm doing comedy at the comedy store. I have no redeemable qualities. Wow. Can you tell us the worst thing about you? You ever kick a puppy or anything like that? How about this? Let's close it

with this. Can you give us an example of one of your raps? Could you? Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right. Here we go. Now I'm starting to feel an adrenaline rush. Give me the beat and I bet you a buzz.

Deliver the heat in the back of the trunk. What are you wanting to do? When I come through with the voodoo, me and my crew buzzing at you. Pumping and dumping on all of you fools. Yeah, I make the club go rowdy and they ask about my clique. They say we bowdy, bowdy, bowdy. So bitch, get out and never come back. Clap on, clap on, I'm burning all

y'all ass. Fuck. We take it all back, bro. We take it all back. We were wrong, man. We stand corrected. Sorry about that. True talent rises at the end. That kind of music is not allowed under my roof.

You're like Cypress. I couldn't walk up the hill. Booyah. How dare you? Go fuck yourself. Well, if anyone knows how to walk up a hill. Hell yeah. Thomas.

I bet it's going to be good. It is not me. Thomas, we like you. We like you. Please don't hurt us. I would never. I don't. Thank you so much for coming on this show. Maybe, you know, play a little bit. Maybe think and

take beats and think of things right before you say them. Just don't be angry. People can feel the anger when you're being sarcastic almost. You can feel that vibe and you're not having fun. Especially you came to a show that's about comedy and comedians doing comedy and people trying comedy. And you came in and you like shat on the art form, like the worst parts that you've seen. Because you've done a few like, right, shitty shows where the people are fucking with the things and they're not doing jokes and they're drinking beers.

But not all of these people have been to those shows. You know, they're here at the number one live podcast in the world and you're talking shit about. But it's called Death Squad Kill Tony. Get the fuck out of here. There he goes. Thomas Nash, everyone. Human garbage.

There he goes. Proof that anything can happen on this show. It's literally random out of a bucket. How about a hand for Aphrodite? There's a nice positive... It's a good sight to see someone happy and smiling. Do you want to announce what his nickname on IMDb was that he obviously put on his own IMDb?

Not really. I want to move on. Gigolo? We'll talk about it next time if he gets pulled out of the bucket again. I feel like he's going to come back for redemption one day. I feel like he's not going to give up that easily. This is a guy that does not know limitations, clearly.

Put your hands together for your next comedian. Anything can happen. You must admit, this is a raw organic show. You guys having fun out there, huh? We just met a hateful guy. Tony, raw organic, something that last guy doesn't know anything about. This looks like a fun

name. Put your hands together for Brandon Benderstat. Hello. I was... Oh, shit. I'm sorry. It's two brands. My last name was really fucked up, so I wasn't sure if you read it.

What's your last name? No, be honest. How many of you want to have a Brandon? Fight to the death. Fight to the death. Fuck each other. Fuck for dominance. No, let's do it differently than this

Brandon you'll be next Let's let this Brandon go first We'll give you a second then you'll come up Fuck this guy Alright Jesus I'm going first Okay you go first then Brandon you seem like you're really taking a stand

At this but I was going to make you look better You'd have another minute to get ready for your set But okay Brandon you go first then, Brandon. You seem like you're really taking a stand at this. I was going to make you look better. You'd have another minute to get ready for your set, but okay, Brandon, you go ahead. I guess everybody's a fucking villain today. Let's do it. One more time for Brandon Benderstaff. Woo!

Let's take a second to give it up for the last comedian. Yeah, the Trump supporter. He was a good guy. Now, the one thing that blows my mind about Trump more than anything is how many women he's had to pay to not tell people that they had sex with him. That's just crazy to me because literally every single girl that I've ever had sex with has denied it for free. Now, Trump's been saying all this bullshit about John McCain disgracing his name.

I think that's pretty fucked up. I think we all wish that Trump was a little bit more like John McCain. At least the dead part. Oh, the left loved it. Weird. I'm more worried about the Supreme Court, though. There's been all these weird issues like the gay rights. Like there was the baker that

didn't want to make the wedding cake for the gay couple. And then there was the florist that didn't want to do the arrangement for the gay couple. My thing is if you don't want to serve gay customers, maybe you shouldn't have picked the gayest jobs in the world. Maybe be like a bartender

at a titty joint or something. Fuck yeah, sure. Brandon Benderstaff. Absolutely. Brandon, you did it. You went first. Extremely anti-Donald Trump set.

Really, I don't know if you've looked at the audience here tonight at all. These are all Fox News viewers. This is basically a Fox News convention here right now. So is that something you're very passionate about, politics? Or is it just like this minute you're working on? That minute, baby. I had three jokes, one minute. Three jokes, one minute.

Yep. What other stuff do you normally do? How long have you been on stand-up? Some of my year and a half. Year and a half. But some of my best jokes are about my drunk mom. Yeah, is that true? She's still drinking? Oh, she's an inspiration.

Yeah. Does she drink through your childhood? Yeah. Can I do jokes? That doesn't work so well up here, huh? No. I mean, it depends on how seamlessly you can go into them there. It's kind of what the first minute was for.

I feel like my bar is up here, but still, you know, it's like down. She drank the whole time, yeah. Yeah. Uh-huh. Oh, my God. He's fucked up. What do you do, Brandon? I do, like, a lot of production assistant stuff.

I'm out here trying to get into some kind of writer's room. Stand-up might be a way to do it. So you want to be a writer, so you're doing stand-up to get into writing? I just want to get paid to be funny, man. Yeah, no, typical Hillary supporter. I just want money for nothing. Fucking. Just kidding.

Just kidding. We got a little political on that one. I heard about that. People got a little wild, huh? I love it. So you're still going to let this guy go? Wait, what are you talking about? Wow, you're so mad.

Again, just like a Hillary supporter, you can't get over how this is all going down. My goodness. It's just unbelievable. So much weird energy. Do you hate other Brandons? Is that a thing that happens a lot? Dude, they give us a bad name, yeah.

Really? My goodness. It's a pretty common fucking name, man. Yeah. There's about a thousand white Brandons in this room right now. Apparently, there's like two Brandon beater stats even. Yeah, two. What else about you, Brandon?

What do you like to do for fun? You've been doing this for a year and a half. What else? What do you do at nighttime? I panic in my room all night. Not call my mom. Chew on my drywall. I don't know.

Normal shit. I'm from the Midwest originally. Oh, get up my drywall. I don't know. Normal shit. I'm from the Midwest originally. Get up out of town. Nervous guys from the Midwest. Small town Iowa. I like fishing and going in boats. Oh, oh, oh. That's what I do in LA.

You go fishing in boats? Really? Is that true? Not out here, no. Okay, so what do you do for fun out here? You ever go out at night? No, I go to a lot of bars, but honestly, I'm trying to hit open mics super hard right now, and they're at bars too, so it kind of works out.

Following in mommy's footsteps, huh? Ha, ha, ha, yeah. The apple cider doesn't fall too far from the fucking tree man Is there like a night that stands out to you In the past year and a half That's been fun for you Something wild I think everyone here has had this experience

But I had a horrible night with Andy Dick recently Oh yeah Tell us about it How far did it get inside of you Join the club Luckily I was with a younger More handsome friend about it. How far did it get inside of you? Join the club. Luckily, I was with a younger, more handsome friend, so it wasn't an issue. So he got...

Oh, yeah. He's in trouble. Well, what's the story, dude? We were at a bar. Apparently, he went to the same college as me. And one person... And he did? That's what he says to every

guy that he meets oh my god we're alumni I went to BU it was kind of like that you went to anal sex university me too okay Wilson alright Me too Got the mask

Okay Wilson Alright So what was the college that you and Andy Dick both went to? Columbia College, Chicago Wow And so what did you guys do? I mean that's it You just said we went to the same college

I want to fuck your buddy Obviously cocaine was involved. Wow. It was. You do that kind of stuff? If I'm with Andy Dick, you know. When in Vegas. No, I don't know.

Rome, I think. Venice? That's literally the guy you don't do drugs with. The one guy. The only guy. I'm like, don't do drugs with that fucking guy. Even coke heads take the night off around Eddie Dick.

I have no sympathy. His last name is Dick. You should have known better. And now we know that condoms break. That was Chroma Chris. From deep. Al Borland Bill over there. So wow, that is interesting, Brandon.

How did that night end for you? What was the last thing you remember of your night with Andy Dick? Overpriced cocaine. Uh-huh. Yeah. Were you doing it off of a pillow? I'm being completely honest. We went to his like weird apartment

And Now we know you're being Completely honest Don't mind the diploma on the wall that says a different college Yeah My other diploma is down there You have to bend over to see it It's underneath the news radio

Cast photo Look look. It's underneath the news radio cast photo. Look, look, look, look, look. Look, look, look, look, look. It's so annoying. Meet my roommate. He's an actor, musician, rapper. By the way, Sober Andy Dick is literally the nicest guy in the world.

But, like, and it's always, I remember there was a while where, uh, where he was, he was sober and then I was smoking pot in the back alleyway and I'm walking through the kitchen to get back, like get to my spot or whatever. And I saw Andy from across the bar and I'm like, Oh look, it's Andy. I hope he's still sober. And at that very moment, he was, he went to one of the waitresses like, I need you! I need you! And started pawing at her with his actual fingernails. And she

had no idea who the fuck it was. It was some brand new waitress. And it was one of the most frightening things I've ever seen. And you went to that guy's house. I want to get fucked up with that guy. Did he paw at you like a kitten? Like I said, my friend was better looking.

I can't wait to hear the other Brandon Zandy Dick story. I don't know about you guys, but. All right. How about another hand for Brandon Benderstat, everyone? Brandon. There he goes. Brandon Benderstat. Wow.

How about this? Put your hands together for your next comedian, Brandon Van Janik. Hello. I was heavily bullied back in my high school, and my bullies used to kick the shit out of me. And they used to yell at me like,

Hey, queer, why are you so fucking gay? Now, I'm straight, but I was in one of the roughest drama clubs in Connecticut. Connecticut drama clubs don't fuck around, okay? My bullies, they were the gay kids. And being from Connecticut, we used to get bullied by other states. They'd call us Connecticut cunts

We are not the cunts But we are definitely the taint Because Connecticut connects you to your preferred pleasure points You're either going to Boston or you're going to New York City You might as well call us Pathetic-it Now, growing up I was a huge sports fan, all right? So I was a Boston Red Sox fan growing up.

Yep, Boston Red Sox. And yeah, you could associate me with the Mass Holes. Now, my brother, he was a New York Yankees fan. Now, that's a definition of a cunt. Wow. That's a definition of a cunt. Wow. My goodness. Cheers.

Have you? Cheers. Take that, Connecticut. I apologize. I apologize to the other Brandon. I really do. I'm very sorry about that. When I heard Brandon, I thought he messed up the name.

You look like a vincenic. Let it go. I may be a cunt, but you're the one that just got fucked. So just remember that. When I heard Brandon, I thought he messed up the name. Let it go. I may be a cunt, but you're the one that just got fucked. So just remember that. Fair enough. His monologue sounded exactly like a Universal Studios tour guy. He's like, you ever been to Boston? Let me tell you about Boston. Connecticut, eh?

It was so fucking animated. Don't rehearse it so much. Yeah. You did, didn't you? Yeah, you fucking did. I like your style, man. I'm excited to have Rob Gronkowski's little brother on this show. This is adorable. I am a Polak, yeah.

My goodness, how long have you been doing stand-up? Only a little over a year. Only a little over a year. You can barely tell different last names from one another. So a little over a year. Originally from Connecticut. You've been in L.A. for a little over a year, originally from Connecticut. Yes. You've been in L.A. for a while?

Yeah, almost 15 years. Yeah, almost 15 years. What have you been doing here? Well, to support myself, I'm a bartender, but acting, voiceover work. Yeah, any acting projects we might know you from? Well, recently I just did a film called The Outpost. It should be coming out at the end of the year,

if not in the beginning of the new year. Is that The Outpost? That's about a night with Andy Dick? No, but... That's The Inpost. I did see Andy come in a few times to my bar. Yeah? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Did he drink when he was at your bar? Yes. Well, it's funny because. Did he drink when he was at your bar? Yes. Well, it's funny because I have met him when he was sober, and he was a really nice guy. Yeah. Really cool. And then what happened? People would come on and say, oh, he was kind of grabbing me a little weird or just touching me, you know, like, you know, getting a little handsy. Right.

But, I mean, listen, nothing ever happened to me. I mean, he was always nice. Feel bad about that? It sounds like a fucking, like a deposition. I mean, listen, nothing ever happened to me. I mean, he was always nice. I feel bad about that. It sounds like a fucking deposition. I mean, listen, not to me. I just want to make things clear before the judge. Sounds like a guy that's blown a load in Andy Dick's mouth to me. He was always nice to me.

I have nothing bad to say about the guy. Why, does he have anything to say about me? There's like a website that tracks all the Andy Dick stories. There's like hundreds of them. I the Andy Dick stories and there's like hundreds of them. I forget the name of it. Yeah, it's called Craigslist. Brandon, you and Mary Dan?

Married for how long now? Four and a half years. Four and a half years. You met her back in where did you meet her at? Were you at the bar at the time? No, no, no. England. England? Wow. She's English? Yeah. Oh, that's cool. And you were just traveling? Were you at the bar at the time? No, no, no. England. England? Yeah. Wow. She's English?

Yeah. Oh, that's cool. And you were just traveling? I used to live in England. I did some schooling just like a semester abroad. Wow. What were you studying in England? Theater.

Pussy, dude. He's Louise. Can you maybe give us something? Can we see some of your acting chops? Perhaps we could do a scene from a remake of Home Improvement. You could play, this could be a scene where perhaps, I don't know, Jonathan Taylor Thomas comes home and sees his father for the first time in a long time. Tim the Toolman Taylor, that's your dad.

This is Brandon Venjanik. And this is a scene from the remake of Home Improvement, This is a scene from the remake of Home Improvement, a new 2020 version, where Jonathan Taylor Thomas sees his dad again for the first time in a very long time. Audience, you excited about this? All right, let's see it. Home Improvement.

Here we go. Dad, it's me. I know it's you. You're my son. I literally gave birth to you. You see those photos on the wall over there? No, don't put your hand on me, Dad. You know what? You know what?

It's really messed up. You want to go? You know what? No one talks to me in my house like this. You see this house? Yeah, I see it. I built it. Yeah?

Well, you know what else you did? You left me and my other brothers for another TV family called Last Man Standing. Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Explain yourself now, Dad. Whoa!

Holy shit! If we're going down this road, there's an episode in Home Improvement where I said that I'd help you fight the cancer. Guess what? It's back. Oh, my God. Wow. Man, that is...

I'm sorry, but that is theater at its finest. My goodness. Really well done. Awesome, awesome. Amazing on both parts. How about another hand for Tim, the tool man, motherfucking Taylor? Able to act, improvise the whole thing. And man, you came

back there good at the end. I was wondering what you were doing with your character and then there you were. You blamed him for heading off to another network. Look at you. Little smarty pants. I like your style. Well, Brandon. Oh, wow. You're just having side conversations right now?

Are you that... Are you... You've been in L.A. 15 years. You're networking while on the show? Hey, my brother works where you like to have dinner with your family.

Like, what the fuck are you doing, dude? I don't know what happened there. What does your friend work for? Yeah, what does your friend work? No, no, I'm saying that. Anastasia. We have a friend in common.

Oh, okay. So I just thought it was interesting how... She worked for... friend of ours, worked for Tim Allen. What the fuck are you doing right now? Holy shit. He's trying to make a really, really very specific connection that no one in here is going to get, and I'm not going with you on it, sir. I'm going down. It's called a Hail Mary.

For those of you listening to the podcast, Ray Anastasi is wearing a Yankees hat. He called Yankees fans. You did call me a cunt in the beginning. You remember that, right? And now he's trying to make up for it. We're all cool because we have a mutual friend, right? Mutual. Mutual.

All right, cool. All right, Brandon. Good job, dude. Thanks, bro. So which Brandon did you guys like better? I think... I don't know. Let's let the audience decide.

Brandon Lee. Did you guys like the first Brandon? How many of you like the first Brandon? Let's hear it. How about second Brandon? Second Brandon. I think so. Wow.

Thank you. It's a night for positive energy. Our late friend Brody would be proud. Yes. There he goes. Brandon Benderstad, everyone. We just had a Brandon off with an acting challenge. Enjoy it.

More, more. My word. Yeah, there you go. Tim the Toolman Taylor, can I just say better than ever acting? I've never seen Tim Allen act that good in my entire life, and he saved it here for Unkilled Tony. I didn't even know Jonathan Taylor Thomas had cancer. So, I mean, it was really shocking for me.

That's just like the research this guy does before these shows. I can see him sitting on his couch watching 800 Home Improvement just to get ready. It's the best. I love him. All right, Joel. Well, I pulled another name out of the bucket, Joel. And you might be excited because this guy's name is Joel Malams.

Joel Malams. Joel Malams. Are we having a Joel off right now? From a Brandon off to a Joel off. Hey. Another slow walker. Really? That's not even... Hey.

What a bunch of phonies. Wow, just a few people left. All at once. Joel my ass. I guess I'm the only real one. In the future, if you don't get called, don't go up at the same time. Wait for the person to go on stage. That's weird.

People just wait to go to the restroom right after a name's called. How about a hand for Megan Sullivan, everyone? Megan Sullivan, here. Wow, that was a woman. That was unbelievable. And she did a fake. That was unbelievable. People are fucking with us, and I love it.

This is hilarious. Is this Megan Sullivan? Who's that? Oh, now people, we have fake people coming in and out at the same time. Oh, she's coming? Why the fuck isn't she in here already? What? Oh, we'll just hang.

Straight from the bathroom. Megan Sullivan. There's Waldo. One more time for Megan Sullivan, everybody. Yes, yes. My pants were just down. Sullivan, everybody. Yes, yes, my pants were just down.

Look, my grandpa recently passed away. I had to go home for the funeral. It's not fucking funny. But, yeah, I mean, he was older, right? So he was ready to go. Well, we know he was ready to go because he killed himself. I mean, that's how you know someone wants to go. They do it themselves, you know? He set a goal, and he accomplished it, right? I'm sure there's more than a handful here

tonight of people who set the goal and are here tonight My grandpa only, he only, well, sorry, grandpa. Wow. Very funny. Megan Sullivan. Hell yeah. Funny. Cool.

How long have you been doing stand-up? It'll be two years next month. Awesome. All here in Los Angeles? Yes. Oh, very cool. Actually, I go back home. I'm from Chicago, and I'll do stuff there too, so that helps.

Very cool. Did your grandpa really die? Mm-hmm. What was the last thing you were going to say at the end? Cut yourself off there. Oh, that he only romantically kissed my grandma, and then I was going to go into another bit. Yeah? About what?

You could just say it. He romantically only kissed my grandma, and I sucked 80 dicks. Hey, look at you. A little misdirect person over there. Full of surprises. Oh, oh, oh, oh. I like your style. Do you always dress like you're going on an Easter egg hunt in a construction zone?

This girl looks like one of the people I caught my brats. What just happened? Do we need to plug in the tool man? I had a heart palpitation there for a second. This girl looks like one of the kids I caught my son Brad smoking marijuana with. Oh. Did Peter Griffin find out? Shumick.

Okay. So, Megan, tell us more about you. How do you make a living? I am currently between jobs. I most recently was working as a showrunner's assistant for a show. And what do you want your next job to be? I've been kind of rolling around with that. What?

I didn't know what else was. I got nervous. Okay. Would you like to be the new Benford tool girl? Oh, shit. Yeah, actually. Heidi just had a baby. Yeah, that would be sick.

Yeah. Megan, you seem so cool. Tell us more about you. What do you do for fun? Like, you seem like a hip girl. This is my grandpa's sweater. Oh, yes. So that's what that smell is.

Did he really kill himself? No. No. Well, he had morphine injected, right? So that's assisted suicide. But you can't tell him this. Like he was told by the priest that what he was doing was morally sound. But I honestly do think it's assisted suicide.

But anyway, what do you guys think? So there's some confusion as to whether or not it was. suicide. But anyway, what do you guys think? There's some confusion as to whether or not it was I mean, I think that, I mean, what's your stance on it? What? What do you think? Was he suffering or anything?

He had cancer for a long time and he was having a hard time breathing. Assistant suicide. In my years of being married, this is a trap. My goodness. Is grandma still alive? She is, yeah. Yeah.

And so they got to, like, be together at the end? Yeah. That's exciting. How's she doing now? How's she holding up? Is she dead yet? She's not. Begging black dudes.

Wilson. That's one thing Megan will not joke about. Her grandma does not take. Black dudes? Black dick. No, I'll tell a joke about a black dude. I mean, I don't know. I won't.

Wow, Tim the Tool Man. What's your history with black people? I mean, what's going on over there? Is that a break in your shed? We'll be right back after this commercial break. Wow. Megan, what else? You're in your grandpa's sweater.

What do you do for fun? You seem like you know where the skating rink is or something like that, right? I wish. No, I don't really skateboard. I watch documentaries. Yep. I love comedy. Yeah.

I said that in an interview once, and I saw myself lose the job, yeah. What was that job for? It was to work at Blumhouse, which is like a horror film place. Yeah, you told an entire different genre that you like another genre. And then I tried to connect it back.

I was like, you know, horror and comedy are really similar. You try to build tension and get an audible response. I mean, I saw my... Here's validation. Thank you very much. Exactly, yeah. Yeah, that reminds me of I recently had a meeting

with Comedy Central and I was like, I love horror. And they're like, we have Amy Schumer. You're going to love it over here. No, I'm kidding, guys. That was a joke. Just riffing, guys. It's it over here. No, I'm kidding, guys. That was a joke.

Just riffing, guys. It's a comedy podcast. No, he's not. He's serious. No, they said that. They said Amy Schumer's a whore. Al, I think your mom's calling into the podcast. His mom's a pig.

Well, Megan, that's so fun. My goodness. How long of a set do you usually do? What's your comfortable time? I feel comfy. I feel very comfy at eight. Eight minutes? Yeah.

There you go. It's honest. People are like, oh, I got 30 minutes. You go, really? That's it. I love what I'm doing at really? I love what I'm doing at 8. I love what I'm doing at 8 right now. No, 8 is good. I think that's an honest answer.

People think they have more material than they do, and I thought that was an honest answer. Anything else for Megan, guys? Wilson, what are you doing behind that fence back there? Well, I'm glad I'm... Honestly, I've never been more happy to be hidden by something. Anything else for Megan, gentlemen? Very funny. Very funny.

Very funny. Did a great job. Thanks. That's nice. I think you guys are great. You're the best comic we've seen in a long, long time. Really? That's fucking great.

Oh, my God. Thank you. There she goes. You did it. Megan Sullivan, everybody. Go back to the bathroom. Finish your shit. Very good. On to the next one.

We go. How many of you like it when comedians do good on this show? How many of you like it when comedians do bad on this show? This is a pretty nice crowd tonight. This is an interesting one. A bunch of nice people here.

It's a real wholesome group. It's very exciting. Pulled another name out of the bucket. This sounds like a powerful name. Look at this shit. Can you believe this? This is real. I'm excited to see this. Make some noise for Octavius Thunder.

Wow, here he is. Alright, one more time for Octavius Thunder, everyone. That's not my real name. I look like a president of a fraternity called Sigma Data Rapa. My mom always says I'm handsome, which is weird because she only fucks all my friends. My dad used to play catch with me when I was a kid. Catch these hands.

Used to beat me. I think I finally found the one I met her on an abusive relationship dating site called eHarmMe and she's like a hardcore Christian but she's also into bondage so every time we have sex she likes to nail me to a cross but I think she's the one

so I'm going to try to get her pregnant Because there's nothing more intimate Than going through an abortion together I do think abortion is murder However I think you should be allowed to murder your kid If you can murder one thing It should at least be the thing that you've made

Right? Fuck yes Look at that Coming in and dropping the hammer. Holy shit. That was an incredible set. You're clearly just coming in, popping in from bartending at a hotel across the street.

This is incredible. My goodness. So Octavius Thunder is not your real name. Is that what you want us to call you? My name's Eli Halpern. Eli Halpern. Hell yeah. But I signed up a while ago, like a year ago, and wasn't here,

and I thought you blacklisted my name, so... Wow, that is such a random, interesting fun fact. So, all right. Tim the Tool Man Taylor. Yeah, he looks like he's wearing the couch that he sleeps on. So, Eli. He's got a great nervous laugh. Like, he might fucking murder everybody, I'll say.

He's like... It's like writhing inside. I've been asked by girls a lot if I'm a serial killer. Like, before they go home with me, they're like, you're not a serial killer, right? And it's weird, kind of flattering. I'm like a high school girl being asked if she's a model. I'm like, no, I'm not a serial killer. I mean, I've thought about it, but I've never actually done it. That's true. I could see it. There's something very Ted Bundy about you. There's something even more Al Bundy about you.

Bundy about you. There's something even more Al Bundy about you. So, Eli, you thought you got blacklisted. Here you are, signing up under a different name, the only offense that actually gets you blacklisted. How long have you been doing stand-up?

About three years. All in Los Angeles. What do you do for work? Nothing. Yeah. I've been wearing these clothes for like three days. How do you survive? I used to work at a mortgage brokerage, and then I had an Amazon store,

and so I got some money saved up, and I... Okay. That sounded like a joke. Yeah. I don't know how to make it entertaining. What were you selling at your Amazon store? Action figures? What?

What were you selling at your Amazon store? Ayahuasca? That was it, Tony. That's where he snaps, right there. Action figures? Who the fuck do you think you're talking to? All right. So what were you selling in your Amazon store?

Kitchens. I made a shit ton of money off fidget spinners. You remember when that was a thing? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, and then it stopped being a thing like that. Like two weeks. Yeah, dude. How many fidget spinners do you have in storage facilities around?

I just got rid of 1,500. Oh, my God. I couldn't sell them. I was trying to get like 100 bucks like $100 Who's even buying them? Would you think the fidget spinner market was never going to burst? You know, this is it forever. Everyone's going to want

one of these fucking things. Who's never going to not want to fucking stare at your fingers? Babies, moms, dads, dead people. One day they're not even going to have currency. It's just going to be fidget spinners. Bitcoin? Fuck that. You heard be fidget spinners. Bitcoin? Fuck that. You heard of fidget spinners, dog? As someone with autistic tendencies, I was going through like 10 a week.

Really? When you say autistic tendencies, can you give us some examples of what else you think your autistic tendencies might be? I think it's just an excuse to be an asshole. I used to sell OxyClean. When do you do that?

When do you ever need to fake that? Fake diagnosis? I don't know. If I'm losing an argument for being an asshole. I'm sorry. Instead of losing the argument straight up. I'm retarded. Don have Asperger's. I'm sorry. Wow. Instead of losing the argument straight up. I'm retarded.

Don't be mad at me. Wow. That's impressive. How old are you? You seem like a stepson and a stepdad at the same time. Yeah. I don't know. You have, like, more steps.

It seems like you abuse yourself. And you seem like a pedophile and also a victim of a pedophile. Yes. No, you're right. That's actually true. You want to open up that, no, you're right. That's actually true. You won't open up that fucking box. It's going to be a bad day for you, bud. What do you mean?

So do you, though. Yes, Eli. So very good. I actually am a pedophile victim, so that hurt. How do you feel about that? Yeah, that's the sound. I got molested by a dog when I was a little boy.

You feel good about that now? You brought up trauma. I don't want to hear a dog getting tortured. Put on like a crying child. Okay, Eli. So tell us more about yourself, Eli. What else about you? I travel a lot.

Where do you go? How? Yes, how? Usually by... Basketball court. Fidget spinner money. Your fidget spinner Amazon store is floating your travel around the world? Yeah, man.

Really? Yeah, I went to Thailand for like three months and I spent like $3,000. You're the first guy that I think went to Thailand on a bird scooter. I'm just going to let you know. Incredible. Thailand for how much? Three months. That's when I decided to start doing comedy.

I was on like a 10 day mushroom binge and then I accidentally fucked this guy for like five seconds. Ah, there you go. Happens all the time in Thailand. I went there and I'm like I'm not going to be another statistic

Not me with all my fidget spinner money You can't fuck someone for five seconds I thrust it and then I was like Wait a minute her shorts are still on She didn't charge me money Her shorts are still on They were like down to here So what did you see?

I didn't see. Okay, put Brody away. I was like five pumps in. Five pumps in? Okay, I'm maybe rounding down. Pump a second. The condom break? I felt like a 360 degree

like rectal clamp. Yeah, because that's what it was. And then I just jumped out. I was like, let me see your fucking pussy. Which I think is an appropriate. Hold on a second. Tim, do you have one of those? Do you have a rectal clamp on your tool belt there?

Yeah, it's got a big block Chevy 454 engine attached to it. Okay, and go ahead. And which is a reasonable question to ask someone that you're having sex with. Did you? Were you wearing a condom? Yeah. Oh, you were. Oh, yeah.

No. Yeah. A hundred percent. Was it one of those condoms that you only wear when you're on mushrooms and only you see it? Yeah. It broke on the shaft. No, man.

This bitch was fucking ugly. That's why I knew she was not. That's why I thought she was a girl because she's so ugly. I'm like, the hottest girls in Thailand are guys. Wow. Earning a lot of stripes with the ladies, I see. You're saying she was so ugly that she had to be a man? No, she had to be a girl because the transgendered women.

All the hottest women in Thailand are the guys. Take it away, Red Band. Wow, yeah. Two, two, three, four. It's actually simple math. We're going to our chief Thailand correspondent, Brian Red Band. Two, two, three, four. It's actually simple math. We're going to our chief Thailand correspondent, Brian Red Band. We're going live to Brian. Did you end up hooking

up with any women? Yeah. How much did it cost? Ten, fifteen bucks? Three fidget spinners. You can get a great massage for like six dollars. And by massage, I just mean massage. You can get a hands-on for an extra five.

Yeah, I think you just need to own the fact that you're gay and not autistic. My goodness gracious. Big difference. Have you gotten an STD test since coming back from Thailand? Yeah, several. I've never had an STD. My goodness.

I don't believe that, dude. I don't either. You look like the OxyClean guy, dude. I like this guy. You got that panang. I look like the OxyCotton guy. That's funny. All right, cool. Take that. You can have it.

Brian's dying of laughter, I guess. Brian loves this guy. I do. He seems like he's fine. This is a guy. Brian loves this guy. I do. This guy seems like he's fine. This is a guy that Brian can relate to. They go to take trips. They'll put their dick in anything, basically. This is the before and after a weight loss commercial with Red Band. Well, there you go.

Well, Eli, you did it. You're not blacklisted, and you had a great set. Thank you. Good stuff, dude. Could I plug my podcast? No. Here we go. You've already been plugged, dude.

My goodness. You're out of control. AIDS monkey podcast? What are you? Just can't get enough. It's called Casburgers. Sorry. There you go.

It's on the internet forever now, but thank you so much. There you go. It's on the internet forever now. But thank you so much. There you go. There he is. It's the track from that legend. All right. What do you think? Go back to the bucket or get our regular up here? Regular and then go back to the regular.

You want to go to the regular? Let's do it. You guys like regulars? We have a guy that writes and performs a brand new minute every single week. We love him here. He deals with a lot of haters

on the internet and whatnot. He's wild. He's so fun. He's been looking for his friend Tony Chin. Ladies and gentlemen, make some noise for the great and powerful William Montgomery, everybody. Here he comes. He's in the flesh. William motherfucking Montgomery. Here he is.

Come on, make some noise for William, everybody. So I'm working on a movie where I get into bar fights in Japan. It's called Crouching Tiger Hidden Pool Cue. I'd like to give you all just a little taste of that. Hold on, Yoshi, where's my pool cue? I'm about to fight someone. Let's give it up for Tony Chin. I've been looking for him.

He's out of the sewer system. Shut the fuck up. I got a lot riding on this. Shut it down. So they have a Rosetta Stone for deaf people now, which is cool because my uncle's deaf. I would like to give you all a little piece of that movie. Hold on, Yoshi, where's my pool cue?

See, it scares me. I thought that was probably going to be the biggest laugh of tonight. Wow, look at that. William weathering the storm. We liked it. A lot. For those of you listening to the show, I don't know if maybe your audio picked it up,

but he got sort of... That wasn't planned at all, right? That guy over there just sort of went crazy for a second because your jacket sort of looks the same. Yeah, what's your fucking name? William is mad at this guy. He held up his jacket. I mean, it is a very similar jacket.

I don't think I'd interrupt an entire show for it over there. I mean, they're both very gay jackets. You would think this was a show where the theme is if your jacket matches the guy on stage that you win some massive prize, but I'll just, I don't, Andrew, I know you were hoping I wasn't

going to bring this up, but Andrew and I were brothers. We were in Phoenix yesterday. We went to a sex club. I have a STD called chlamydia. I was giving it to a bunch of people. Andrew was like, William, hold on. Put a condom on.

You have a disease that could be spread around. Nice to see you. Good to see you, brother. It's my brother. William looks like the actual whiskey ginger. I love how that's the jacket you would wear if you had a lot riding on it. No, this is a very dressed down William Montgomery. I love it.

Normally he's not wearing socks with his sandals. This is very... Just a picture of a cutscene. I started writing these movies. Just a cutscene, 96, Atlanta Olympics. Me walking in with my pipe bombs in my backpack. Just looking like this. Just trying to have fun.

Just knowing I'm spreading chlamydia around. Know I'm having to deal with Tony Chin. What the fuck? Why did you do that? I was fucking doing good. And then he pulled that. I'm serious. Somebody get him out. Will, you want this guy out of here?

Get him out. Door guys. Door guys. I don't know. I feel sort of bad for that guy Is he gone? Are you by yourself? He seems like an innocent Nice guy

David Deary's on the scene For those of you just listening David is an extremely nice guy He thinks that guy's a nice guy I think we're at a standstill here William What do you think we should do? Should we kick the fucking guy out? Should we're at a standstill here, William. William, what do you think we should do? Should we kick the fucking guy out?

Should we beat him up a little bit? I don't know. Weirdly enough, he and I, Tony and I were in Alaska two years ago literally spreading STDs around. All right. William, over here. William, William, William. Stick with me over

here. Is that... Have you ever seen that guy before over there? What's your name, asshole? What? That's not your middle name, dude. Don't do that. Your name's Richard Pace. Wow. Alright, alright.

Kick him out. Kick him out. Kick him out. The tribe has spoken. All right. All right. Kick him out. Kick him out. The tribe has spoken. I tried. How about this? It's fine, but don't do that. Don't be that guy that interrupts in the middle of a fucking... Don't do that shit, okay? Don't do that shit.

I have tonsillitis, dude. I have two weeks to live. Let's let him stay, right? He seems like a nice guy. We have our security guard. Put your hands together for Hakeem Olajuwon, ladies and gentlemen. You remember him from the Houston Rockets? By the way. Not on me.

By the way, I shake that guy's hand every week. His hand feels like it's made of rock. Yeah. He's like a different human being. It is unbelievable. You guys are good, right? You're gonna behave yourselves? There you go. They're okay. They're cool the fuck out. They're okay. Step away from the

talent. Him and his friend both look like Joel Berg. Let's let him stay. Alright, fair enough. William, anything else happen this week that you're excited about in life? I literally on Saturday, I did a show. Phoenix. Yeah.

Keep that going. I did a show in Phoenix, Arizona. I was having a decent amount of fun. Ended up getting far too drunk on gin and orange juice. My mom called me a bunch, just asking William, what's wrong? Why aren't you

answering the telephone? And then what happened, William? Is that the whole thing? Did you just fall asleep awake? Did you just fall asleep with your eyes open on the show? Did you just have a little sugar crash there, William?

Did you get dizzy? I got real dizzy. All right. I did, yeah. I have a thing called my tonsils hurt. I have tonsillitis. I don't know if y'all realize the little girl in the Poltergeist movie died of tonsillitis. I'm currently, I have it now.

Wow. William, why do you look like the groundskeeper at Neverland Ranch right now? I guess that's really the... He looks like the oldest golden girl. Two years ago, I got my first job in a place called Toshiba, Japan. You might be familiar with it. They made a lot of televisions at one point in time, but I was in Toshiba. Oh, my God.

You were not in a Toshiba, Japan, William. All right, one last question. William, honest question. I got to know, where do you find a jacket like that? That thing has little bells. Are those little bells on the front? Are those little tiny bells? Jingle them, baby.

They are. Where did you get that? He's trying to make the bells jingle. Where did you get that? He's trying to make the bells jingle. Where did you get the jacket from? A wonderful place. You can get some really good food there. It's called the Cracker Barrel. You got that jacket at the Cracker Barrel?

I did. No, you didn't. William, sometimes I feel like you're lying to me. I'm sorry. I was just trying to sort of keep it light. Literally, Saturday night, I was in Phoenix. I went to this sex club place. I had been going to the bathroom.

Blood everywhere. I knew something. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Why was there blood everywhere, William? What? What did you do? Are you pissing blood? It's an autoimmune deficiency.

Oh, my God. Right, that adds up. Where does it come from? It comes from Toshiba. All right, you're mixing together. There he is, William Montgomery, everybody. Come on, he's got a lot on the line. Make some noise for the guy.

What do you guys think? Should we go back to the bucket again, huh? I love William. Oh, geez, that sort of seemed lukewarm, but we'll do it anyway. I can hear the thousands and thousands on... Wow, look at that. Wow.

Hello. Greetings to a lot of people watching on YouTube right now. Okay. Put your hands together for your next comedian, Kyler Bentley, everyone. Kyler Bentley. Oh, wow. Kyler Bentley. Oh, wow. Here he comes.

Here comes Kyler. You got a light up there, Danny? You want to just swing it from there? Or what's the move? What's the move? How do you want to do it? Let's do it. David Deary is going to help.

We're going to keep it help. We got more music. Is that possible? The wheelchair's too wide. You're going to get him stuck. Oh, now he's stuck. This is a bad idea. Get him up! Get him up!

Get him up! It's amazing that you guys did that. We got it. Hell yeah. We did it. That's a first. One more time for Kyler Bentley, everybody. Oh, my God. I wasn't expecting this.

There's so many people here. I hope you like physical comedy. Yeah. If this goes well, I plan on doing a stage dive, so... Front row here, don't let me get hurt again yeah yeah people always ask me all the time how do you get hurt if you don't mind me asking and they always word it that way. If you don't mind me asking, and I'll answer just to let you know, you're annoying. I just moved into a senior living facility, and I met a woman. Yeah, I did.

We're taking things slow, though. I want to wait until her body's cold. There you go. There's a minute from Kyler Bentley. Hell yeah. Kyler, welcome to the show. This is your first time on. I'd remember you.

Yes, sir. I think this is the first, probably, wheelchair on stage ever. This is the first ever wheelchair on the stage in this room. We have had our buddy from San Diego. Remember on the side of the stage? That was up in the ballet room. But you are the first to get up here. The bad news is we have no idea how you're going to get down from here.

You might be here next week, too, because you might just stay here. Hope you like chicken fingers and french fries. That's all they have to eat here at the Comedy Store. No, I'm going to stage dive. The comedians are going to catch me here. No, they won't. I love that. Physical comedy.

I love it. Kyler Bentley, is that your real name? That is my first and middle name. Oh, okay. Why Bentley? Because they have wheels. It's my mom's maiden name. Oh, cool.

What's your real last name? Smith. Oh. Why the fuck? Yeah. Yeah, Smith. Why the fuck? How long have you been doing stand-up comedy? Eight minutes? Nine minutes?

This was your first time ever? No, I've done maybe five times. You've only done it five times? I've been doing it about a month. Really? Wow. Dude, there were some people up here that were here for I don't know how long they said, but it was fucking way worse. Way longer.

Yeah. You definitely have a leg up on most people that have been only doing it a month, which I guess puts you at negative one legs. Anyway. Tony, I would say some people shouldn't even step foot on the stage.

You really did that tonight. Tony, I would say some people shouldn't even step foot on the stage. And you really did that tonight. Anyway. You're not enjoying any of those. Yeah, he doesn't like those. You like those? What? You like those jokes? Yeah, that's good.

Yeah, that's good. I like that. Good job, Joel. Tyler. Tyler, I don't know. I hope you don't mind me asking, but... What happened? I don't know. I got a lot of stories that I like to make up

because I get sick of telling it. Like, I used to date a bodybuilder, and I was eating her pussy, and she snapped my neck. Ah. The orgasm was doing it. Tim the Toolman Taylor likes that one. He likes getting roughed up. I've snapped my neck a lot of times going down there.

Hell yeah. But it happened in a snowboarding accident. Oh, wow. Interesting. God, I want to know. Can I, please? Andrew's a, Andrew used to snowboard a lot. Yeah, I want to know what it was. Can I, please? Andrew's a, Andrew used to snowboard a lot. Yeah, I want to know how it happened.

A couple of drinks going off a jump too fast that I hadn't checked out and just flew to the bottom. Helmet. No helmet? No, I had a helmet. That was like the one thing that there was a force above saying your brain is too important. Put this helmet on today because I never wore one before that. Wow. It was like my buddy's helmet

I was walking down the stairs I kicked it and I was like you probably should pick this up today. Damn. That's unbelievable. What were you drinking before you went out there? My other friend left a bottle of Bacardi in my snowboard boots. Limon? No. Shout out of Bacardi in my snowboard boots. Limon?

No. Shout out to Bacardi Limon. Silver. Sponsor. Thank God someone. There definitely goes our Bacardi sponsorship. Damn it. Bacardi, when you want to break your neck.

Break your motherfucking neck. Snap your neck. I'm glad you wore a helmet dude Yeah Glad you're here Heck yeah That was really good stuff Can I tell you though That like the only time

We've done any stand up critique Tonight at all That That the whole joke Of how you've Broken your Like you say Oh I wanna do a bunch

I lie to people Do the That's good Like one of the other ones That you have I've got That's good That should've been, what are the other ones that you have? I've got. That's good.

That's that should have been the fucking. I want to hear how the lies that you tell. Oh, yeah. Yeah. What is some of the other ones that you say? This guy, Johan, he was like a grizzly bear of a guy. And I hate that guy. Yeah.

Well, I think he was part grizzly bear because I never met his mom, and he lived on top of a mountain. But he hated weed smoke in his house, and he caught me smoking weed in his house one time, and I ran to blow the weed smoke out of his door, and as I got two steps from the door, I passed out and smashed my face into the door. Wow. And that really happened? That really happened, but it's not how I broke my neck. No.

See? Weed doesn't hurt people, dude. So cool. You're baked right now, by the way. No, I don't smoke weed anymore. Oh, no? No. Your eyes are just... Yeah, that's...

I don't know. I was in Vegas all weekend, and eyes white come back here, and they're red again. The only thing he burns is rubber, dude. Yeah. That's right. and eyes white come back here and they're red again. The only thing he burns is rubber, dude. Yeah. That's right. Now, when you do ecstasy in a wheelchair,

is it still considered rolling? All right. Kyler, how long ago was your accident? Was that early on in life, recently? 13 years ago. I'm having a bar mitzvah for my paralysis. Hey, look at that. When you were flying through the air

off of that snowboard launch, were you like, to infinity and beyond? Wait, why would he do that? It's another Tim Allen character. Oh, really? You look exactly like Woody. You should know this. Come on.

Come on. Why would you say that? I can't even think right. There's a fucking snake in my boot right now. There's a snake in my boot. All right. So, Kyler, 13 years ago, how does that go for you? Were you very depressed for a while? Were you amped about it when it happened?

Yeah. Don't bring it up. How psyched were you at the end? I mean, tight. You ever go wheelchair snowboarding since then? Yeah, it's not the same. I grew up snowboarding my whole life And that sucks dick Having somebody kind of like scoot you around the mountain

What mountain did it happen on? North Star or Tahoe Fuck North Star Fuck that place Don't ever go there, don't support that piece of shit Place ever again Actually we're sponsored by North Star Tahoe Oh fuck we are? Go to North Star Tahoe. Oh, fuck, we are?

Yeah, that was... Go to North Star Tahoe, man. Takes out the week. Thank you. Brings back the strong. Did Santino just Yelp review a mountain? Hell yeah. So, Kyler, how about now?

Like, what else do you do? What do you do for work? Nothing. You do nothing, right? You basically get to do nothing after that. Did you get money or anything out of an accident?

Did you sue the jump? No. On your season pass it says this is dangerous shit you're doing and we are not liable for any fuck up you make. So you spun that wheel. Anyway, again, keeping it on. for any fuck up you make. Right. So you spun that wheel. Yeah. Anyway, again, keeping it on.

Keeping it on. Say whatever you're going to say. You're going to say something mean to him. Go ahead and do it. Yeah, that one didn't work. Those two were good. Kyler, any other hobbies? You just started this.

You've only done it five times. Is there anything that you do like to do? I play pool in a league. Wow. That's fucking awesome. Did you always play pool before or is this something that you just caught on to? No. I mean I played before but never like

seriously and then I taught myself a technique that works for me. That's fucking awesome. Cool. You like doing stand up too? Is that fun? It's going fun right now, yeah. That's so cool. This worked out tonight. This is cool, yeah.

I love it, man. I love that. That is so fucking cool. Are you going to keep doing it, or is this just your dabbling? Do you really want to do this? No, I really want to do this. Good, man. You should.

You're a funny dude. You should keep fucking doing it. Yeah, for sure. I think you have a real knack for it. I think naturally you came up here, and I think you have a real knack for it. I think naturally. You came up here and I think we were all very surprised when you said that you've only done it five times. That's very, very, very fucking exciting. You from the Bay Area?

Northern California. Does anybody know if the Warriors won? I don't know. They were down a lot. Oh, we got bad news for you. We got bad news for you, bud. Yeah, brother. They all died.

They're dead, all of them. Yeah. Every single one of them dropped dead. Horrible, horrible. They got in a snowboarding accident. Shots at Bacardi. Snowboard kickers all over the fucking court. Shots at Bacardi before the game.

They all ran into each other in the middle of the court. I chose to come in here and wait for my name to get pulled rather than watch the game, and I'm glad I did stay here. That's awesome. That's absolutely awesome. How about that, Kyler Bentley? Well, Kyler, anything else you want to say or ask or anything you want? No, I'll be back.

I love it. Yeah, please do. Please come back. Absolutely. Kyler Bentley, ladies and gentlemen. He's on Instagram at KylerBentleyComedy. And that is an episode of Kill Tony. We did it live from the Comedy Store.

Kyler Bentley was on the show. Hey, look. Ryan J. E-Belt drew something. Hey, look at this drawing from Ryan J. E-Belt, everybody. Make sure you catch Steve Ranazzisi's podcast, What's the Odds? Live every Wednesday at 2 p.m. on YouTube, all things comedy. And, yeah, he's at Cobbs this weekend. Cleveland Hilarity's next weekend.

How about another hand for Steve Ranazzisi, everybody? Andrew Santino's got Whiskey Ginger available on all platforms. Vegas this weekend and Raleigh Good Nights next weekend. How about another hand for Andrew Santino, everybody? Let's see how loud can this place get for the great and powerful Jeremiah Watkins, everyone. Tim, the tool man, Taylor. The new Reagan and Watkins album is out June 7th.

He's on all social media, Jeremiah Stand Up. He's got a new episode of Jeremiah Wonders Out. What today? Who's your guest? Rafina Bastos. Whoa. Fuck yeah. I love it.

Anything else, Jeremiah? Yeah. June 6th, here in the Comedy Store main room, we're doing an album release party for Reagan and Watkins. We'll have some of our favorite stand-ups and we'll be closing out with some songs from the album. So join us that night. How about another hand for

Chroma Chris over there, huh? Two for two tonight. Roseanne Barr. I know, it looks ridiculous. I can't grow facial hair like you, Tony. I'm sorry. Wow, oh yeah, that's true. That's true. That's true, it looks ridiculous. I can't grow facial hair like you, Tony. I'm sorry. Wow, oh yeah, that's true. That's true. That's true, you can't.

And then how about another hand for Wilson? Joel Bert, Joel Jimenez, everybody. Joel's mostly sorry on all social media sites. Anything else, Joel? Thank you to Ludwig Drums and to everyone who believes in us. Thanks for fucking coming out. We love you. I absolutely agree with that 100%. Phoenix, Arizona, Vegas, Salt Lake City,

Boise, Spokane, Portland, Vancouver, Seattle, Lawrence, Omaha, Des Moines, Appleton, Milwaukee, Chicago, Madison, Minneapolis, Poughkeepsie, New York. We're coming for you. We're coming on the road. Redband, anything else? No, that's it. Thanks a lot thank you guys we love you good night everybody ララララララララ キタマニ魂ララララララララ キタマニ魂

ララララララララ キタマニ魂 ラララララララ キタマニ魂 ラララララララ キタマニ魂 Outro Music you