Leah on the Line - Bonus 54: Dilemma UPDATES!

Episode Date: August 31, 2023

Hey babes! Welcome back to another episode of Leah on the Line. Thank you so much for all of your love and support on the podcast, it honestly means the world to me. I hope you love this one!Head to leahontheline.com to send in your dilemmas and confessions. Love you! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

hello hi everyone welcome back to a brand new episode of leo on the line happy friday happy friday everybody how you all feeling end of the week well end of the working week for some how are you feeling guys it's friday weekend is about to begin we're actually here in the uk to my uk peeps do some nice weather in most parts of the uk while we're talking about the weather again i tend to talk about the weather a lot i think it's because it actually has such an impact on my mood no joke like the clouds go ray the rain heavy recently we haven't had a summer have we realistically we haven't we just haven't but i may or may not be jetting off in october i went i went on holiday in october last year right best time it's the best time because it's horrible

here in the uk it's winter it's fucking freezing mate then you get on a plane and you land and you get that oof that heat when you get off the plane you know that feeling isn't that the best feeling top feeling though when you've been sunbathing all day go back up to the hotel room get showered laying on the bed in a towel with a packet of lays maybe a lemon funner and just just gonna get ready in a minute just taking it slow checking out the tan lines honestly cannot wait bring it on but yeah i do feel sad that we haven't had a summer this year i feel a bit robbed bit robbed but it's all right but anyway i hope you guys are all feeling good i'd love to know where you guys are from like what countries you guys are from if you're in the UK what part of the UK are you guys from

I think I've got some new American listeners recently which is so exciting I feel like the only American accent I do is just Kourtney Kardashian I feel like my listeners are so amazing that doesn't sound like her I'll practice that but anyway I love you guys no matter where I'm from I'd love to know though I don't know what I'm saying that like I can't just look like I can literally just go and look at the insights of where my listeners are from and I do I do find it very fascinating because there's some places where I'm like she's worldwide baby she's worldwide I just love guys. I feel like we have the most intensely strong friendship at this point. You know, we've known each other a long time. A lot of us at this point, we were very close, which is why we're doing this

episode. This is the Dilemmas Update episode, right? So if you've been here since the beginning, or if you've been here, this is your first listen. To be fair, if it's your first listen, this may not be the episode for you. I would love you to listen to any episode though, so please stay. But if you are new or if you've been here a while, hopefully you might remember some of these dilemmas and then we can get the updates because we're all invested at this point. We're all so invested in each other's lives do you know what i mean so thank you so much if you sent in a dilemma ever let alone if you've sent in an update continue to send in the updates guys because we can i can either do dilemma updates episodes or i can just add like a feature

at the end of every episode every episode at the end of an episode every now and then where we can just read out some updates you know let me know what you'd prefer but I thought today we were just doing updates because I keep getting messages saying when are you going to do the updates episode because I have an update and I didn't realize I've obviously said that once where I said I'll do an updates episode so I was like oh shit people are waiting for. I was thinking people are just going to send them in when they've got an update. So whatever works for you, hun, if you've got an update, send it my way.

It goes straight into the Dilemma Updates folder. She's an organized queen over here, guys. I have that email folder down, okay? So yeah, it's going to be very interesting. Hopefully no majorly bad results from any advice I've given. If so, I take no responsibility. But I'm intrigued to know if you guys have like taken my advice, if you went against it, which to be fair, that would be me. I don't really listen to anyone,

especially when it comes to like dating and relationships. Like, you know what you're supposed to do. Everyone tells you what you're supposed to do, but you don't fucking supposed to do but you don't fucking do it do you know what I mean we're all the same but I'm really intrigued to know like if you guys did follow my advice and how that turned out how whether I should continue this podcast or not basically no nothing can ever stop me to be honest nothing can take this away from me but yeah I hope you're all feeling really good send me a message let's have a chat on Instagram let's have a catch up and I just want to remind everybody as well because I've had a few messages about this I said it recently but just in case you missed it there is a post on my Lear on the Line Instagram page I've now pinned it which says let's make friends

I think or let's be friends let's make friends something like that and it's basically where you can comment where you're from your interest your area your uni like whatever it is and just reply to people if you don't want to comment yourself just have a little scan through see if anyone's in your area anyone sounds like they'd you know be a bestie of yours slide into their dms hey I saw your comment on this post like i feel like we'd get on you already have one thing in common you know we listen to leo on the line i'm just bringing the people together you know but anyway i hope you guys are all feeling really good and let's get into the episode thank you so much for listening to leo on the line head to leo on the line.com to send in your dilemmas and confessions remember to follow on socials to see visual clips and

get involved with the weekly debates. Enjoy the episode. Love you. Okay, you guys. So obviously the Friday episodes tend to be a little bit shorter. So it's going to be more of a shorter episode today. But I feel like next week, like the Tuesday episode I really am craving a long long drawn out juicy episode so on Tuesday let's do a long one send in confessions if you've got updates send them in I can read them out on Tuesday send in all your dilemmas leerontheline.com and yeah I'm just letting you guys know that I'm really feeling like I want to sit down for ages like over an hour and have a long old chat that if you want to listen to it in one if you've got a big project you need and you need some company whack it on or you can keep coming back to it you know a bit of motivation oh actually

maybe I'll go and do this because I have got 20 minutes left of that Lear on the Line episode do you know what I mean so yeah just just to let you guys know le learontheline.com. Send them in, babes. Okay, dilemma updates. It's going to be kind of difficult, I feel. I would love to know how many dilemmas we have answered since day one of this, because it may be difficult for us to remember specifically which dilemma it is linked to. But I've had a scan through. Most of them do say so. We will hopefully be able to figure it out together okay let's kick it off with this one okay I guess it's more of a thank you than an update but I was the girl from the end of episode 74 okay stunning she's it she give us the info we need love you who can't get

over their ex years on I remember this I remember this this was literally a month ago or something not that long ago and it'd been a long time you guys remember and I was saying you know we gotta let this one go it's it's it's hard you know let's have a look um your response made me cry in a good way okay I'm glad it was in a good way geez sometimes I forget that like I'm answering these because to me you guys have to remember like to me this is just a long message that I get and I'm just reading out my thoughts my feelings towards it I forget that you're actually going to listen sometimes I wonder like do you listen like sometimes I just wonder if you just

send in a dilemma and then like maybe you forget and I've answered it and you never you never hear it sometimes I wonder that but clearly you listen to this which I'm grateful for I think your perspective made me realize that the problem isn't what he did to me or what happened between us but instead is how it's left me feeling yes couldn't have said it better myself I can't say I'm over him yet but I have reached out and got help for myself oh my god I'm so proud of you that is absolutely amazing so for now at least we're heading in the right direction your podcast is more important than you realize thank you oh what a lovely thing to say do you know what I'm so happy for you I'm so proud of you

and so glad that I'm not going to take any credit to be honest, this is all you, but I'm just glad that you sent in that email to me in the first place. You listened to it and whatever it made you feel, whatever it made you want to do, I'm really proud of you that you reached out for a bit of help and support because that is what we need. You know, we're not expected just to just figure it out. Our brains are fucking complicated. There's a reason there are experts on this. There are reasons people go to university to understand the human brain because it's that fucking complicated and we are so lucky that we can have the help of professionals so i'm so proud of you and i wish you all the love and amazing happy memories for your future all about you and an amazing life okay babe i love you all right next dilemma I mean dilemma update hey this was a good

while ago but I wrote in about recently finding out I was pregnant but my partner wanted to get back with me after breaking up with me and was unsure on what path to take okay I feel like this was a long time ago I remember this one okay I'm now almost six months pregnant with a little girl. Oh my God. I'm so happy for you. Congratulations. So exciting. I took your advice and focused on myself and my pregnancy whilst being civil with him. I'm sorry. I'm choking. Whilst being civil with him, but things naturally progressed and we're now back together oh okay I'm loving this it wasn't easy in the beginning and we had to work through a lot of things because I didn't want history to repeat itself but we are in such a good place right now and I feel we are a lot

stronger than we were pre-breakup thank you so much for your advice as I never spoke to anyone else about it as I feel people around me think they know more about my relationship than me so it meant a lot hearing your advice from someone completely non-biased and I appreciate it so much oh what an amazing outcome you were like you know what I'm just gonna focus on me and my beautiful baby and it's just naturally happened and not to like blow my own trumpet is that the saying blow my own trumpet why does that not feel like it makes sense because surely anyone blows their own trumpet you don't blow someone else's trumpet but I don't know not to blow smoke up my ass but I feel like I did kind of say that like she's psychic media I'm like should I just predict everything like but I feel like my feelings at the time were focus on you you've got this amazing thing growing

inside of you let's focus on you let's keep the stress levels as an absolute minimum as much as we can it's a difficult time let's focus on you your health your happiness whatever's meant to be in that relationship will be and it and it is been it it is being and i couldn't be happier for you oh my god i'm so excited for you to have this baby six months pregnant not long now babe three months left six seven eight nine yep oh how exciting is that honestly to any of my pregnant babes right now i'm so excited for you please send me like pics like honestly nothing excites me more than just like babies being born to this world i think it's absolutely incredible do you know what me and my mum always say right so you know how some people are skeptical about the spirit world the afterlife psychic mediums blah blah a lot of people like bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks yeah

life psychic mediums blah blah a lot of people like bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks yeah which is fine each their own um but we always say right if we didn't have scientific proof that we came from a tiny piece of sperm grew inside another woman's stomach developed from a little piece of sperm that you can't even see unless you have a fucking microscope and we grew in the stomach we grow a placenta is is grown or do you just have one no they they grow with the baby i don't know a placenta gives you all the nutrition you need all it feeds the baby in the stomach everything you eat in the placenta into the baby right comes out your vagina after nine months of growing growing growing growing nine months out the vagina lives on gets bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger bigger and bigger bigger and bigger to us

if we didn't have proof of that we'd say that's bollocks wouldn't we if somebody said to you like say this was years ago before well i don't really know how you wouldn't know because obviously it's all happening around us but let's just say we didn't know someone said that to you they told you that story they go do you know you was once this tiny little piece of sperm in a pair of balls in some testicles i don't know where they store the sperm isn't it in the testes i'm not sure if somebody said that to you you go was i fuck mate you say that's rubbish do you know i mean because we have proof is that makes sense you know it just makes sense

it's an amazing beautiful thing and it just makes sense so because we have no proof of the spirit world blah blah people say bollocks you know but if if that can be true that we were once a sperm and we live on and grow old from a piece of sperm a piece of sperm that sounds fucking horrible isn't it we'd say that's bullshit not sure what this has to do with the, basically the point of making this, isn't it a beautiful thing? All right. Love you so much. I'm so happy for you. I hope the rest of your pregnancy goes amazingly. Three months left. You got this babe. Finish lines in sight and then you're going to meet your gorgeous girl. How exciting. So happy for you. So proud of you of you all right thank you for sending the update next one hey gorgeous girly hi babe my dilemma was in your

cheating episode where my boyfriend accidentally sent me a screenshot of him texting another girl six months after our break i wasn't too sure whether i made the right decision in staying with him as the trust was broken but you gave me that reassurance that he was not what I needed did I I don't remember I don't remember saying that what is that did I say that I don't remember saying that no but I'm struggling to remember this dilemma to be honest anybody else to be fair we get a lot of little dickhead boys that they always drop themselves in it when they're like cheating and shit, don't they? Idiots, mate. But anyway. Okay, so I've obviously said you deserve better, which to be honest, hearing the dilemma again, I stand by. You're amazing. Let's carry on. We have now broken up and i feel so free and happy to be on my own

with no constant worries this is where the plot thickens so my now ex recently made a new snapchat account and i was sent a notification that one of my contacts let's let's call him george made a new snapchat under the name jackson literally 20 minutes later he adds me and my bestie with a bitmoji that looks nothing like him later on that night he messages me saying hey kiss pretending to be another guy fucking hell you're obsessed with me literally obsessed with me you're literally making fake accounts talk to me you know what you should have done hey sexy boy that would have killed him guys oh fuck my mic's a bit loud sorry right listen to this again I just had to stop recording because my mic cut out right and then I was resting my mic on my stomach because I was like touching my laptop and stuff sorting it out and I could hear my stomach like and I was like whoa

like what the fuck that's actually crazy and I turned the sensitivity of my mic all the way up and held it onto my stomach and I've got headphones on that's the fucking weirdest thing I've ever heard if you have a mic and headphones do it right it's the fucking weirdest thing I've ever heard in my life I kind of want to do it but i think it will gross a lot of people out all you can hear is like like and then i was like oh my god i'm gonna drink a bit of water and see what it sounds like it made me jump it was the weirdest thing i've ever heard wow that is so crazy guys i was i shit myself like i didn't actually pee my pants but like

because i had these headphones in they're turned all the way up where i'm trying to hear like all these little small noises and all of a sudden it was like in my ears and i literally jumped i was like what the fuck is that honestly that is fucking hilarious after this podcast I'm gonna call Jamie Jamie in this room and be like get your stomach out whack these headphones on listen to this so fun all right anyway sorry back to you where did I get to um okay so he was pretending to be another guy right yeah yeah yeah oh that was so weird right at this point I can't be bothered entertaining him anymore so I open the message and ghost him and he has since deleted his account or deleted me probably the account to be honest he wanted it for one

thing and one thing only and it didn't work I don't think he knows that I was aware that it was him all along and he has now asked for a catch up in the next few weeks oh fucking hell you can see what I'm up to on social media we don't need to catch up do we babes you just want me back do I tell him that I know he was trying to catfish me is it even worth me having a conversation with him let me know your thoughts they definitely helped last time love you love you I'm really glad they helped so it it depends. Like if you're absolutely like, ew, get out of my life. I don't want anything to do with you, you know, because you've said he's not what you need. You've broken up. You feel so free and happy to be on your own with no constant worries. I honestly wouldn't give him a second more of your time. I wouldn't even tell

him. I know you were catfishing me. Who cares? Just whatever, mate mate you're literally obsessed with me ignore avoid irrelevant move forward you know keep focusing on yourself because look how happy it's made you since you started to do that you know babes all right love you good for you we're all so proud of you we're all so invested in everybody's dilemmas and lives aren't we i just love it okay next one you might not remember this as it was from one of your first ever episodes oh my god and oh gee we love you i was worried about my boyfriend's snap score going up i remember i really really really remember this one and him acting suspicious with this phone yap okay we were thinking major red fucking flag what the hell mate a year and a half later it turns out my suspicions were

correct honestly sometimes you just know don't you he was messaging multiple girls that he'd met through online gaming we broke up even though he said they were just friends but if you have a snap streak and you're messaging every day your girlfriend should know who they are or that they exist lol yeah abso-fucking-lutely who are you messaging every day every day girls as well like what um a few months later he tried to get back back with me and said ask me any question and i'll tell you the truth oh a, a bit fucking late for that, babe. So I asked about the girls. He finally admitted to flirting with them behind my back and not even telling most of them that he had a girlfriend. Oh, ew. That is why he never posted me on social media. He didn't want them to find out. Safe to say we did not get back together and he is desperate to because he

knows I'm the fucking best girlfriend he's ever had. Yeah, babe. Too fucking right. We're in our 30s and he was literally acting like a teenager. He even deleted Snapchat to try and make me happy but started messaging them on Facebook instead. Fucking hell. This guy, I don't know what to do with him. Time to find a grown-up up trustworthy man. Absolutely, babe.

Good for you for walking away. You'll be the one that got away and he'll spend every day for the rest of his life wishing, why did I not take her? Wait, why did I take her for granted? You know? The Delulu. Every day for the rest of his life no that's how we live that's how we think guys otherwise why what's the point until you don't need to think like that anymore all right let's do one more oh okay this is a nice long one i love this okay strap in it's a long one i wrote a dilemma dilemma back in January about going on my dream Caribbean holiday with my four slash five year situationship. I remember this. I remember we got Jamie involved. Did we? I'm sure we did. And yeah, and we were like, okay,

I know you really want the trip. But you've been in a situationship for five years, babe. What's gonna happen?'s the caribbean gonna make happen you know personally my opinion was leave the trip walk away with your head held high and go no thank you i'm not giving you any more of my time but let's see what she did okay but at this point he told me he wanted space and not to see me unless it was on his terms blah blah blah yep oh here we go you got jam Jamie's opinion also. And both said I probably shouldn't go. But guess what? I didn't listen. And I went to the Caribbean with my situationship in June. Isn't it funny? Because we say Caribbean in the UK, but I did Royal Caribbean cruise lines.

And in America, you guys say Caribbean. And everyone used to find it really weird that we say Caribbean Royal Caribbean Royal Caribbean Royal Caribbean it's hard for me to say for some reason anyway it's irrelevant let's get on with the update um with my situationship in June whoops lol anyway the update we saw each other about six weeks after I sent in the first dilemma and went back to normal me sleeping around his two or three times a week seeing each other about six weeks after I sent in the first dilemma and went back to normal. Me sleeping around his two or three times a week, seeing each other at weekends etc. Everything was going well as well as it could be in a five-year situation ship lol. Yeah to be fair. Quick bit of info we went for his cousin's wedding and 16 of his family members. About a week before his mood kind of

changed and I could feel it. He was asking me to stay around even more than normal and I said no as I like my own space. I have work commitments and we aren't actually together. He seemed to get quite angry and started to say I don't want anything to do with you after holiday. Then also said I don't know why I can't just give you everything. I try, I do but I just can't and I feel terrible for it. Okay, well, fuck off then. Bitch, hello. Like I said, about five days before we went away, it really set the mood, lol. We didn't really speak about it as he always had other family issues going on. So we kind of brushed ours aside and carried on as normal as we, again, as we do, which looking back, it's very toxic.

Sometimes it's just easier to do that though isn't it just avoid it avoid the elephant in the room i don't blame you we all do it every now and then okay five days later we go to the caribbean i was so excited but had this dread of him not wanting anything to do with me after the holiday in the back of my mind. Anyway, the actual holiday. He made me cry five out of the seven days. Made me feel like utter shit. Didn't want any pictures with me. Didn't want to walk beside me half the time. Didn't compliment me once, even when we got dressed up for his cousin's wedding. Said not really nice things. He'd then gaslight me and say, don't cry. I know it's because you're missing home. Or maybe it's because you're a major prick babe which was not true but i had to then put a brave face on and go sit with his family

for the evening meals or lunches etc oh that's the worst last day eight hour plane journey to begin with he was saying how he wasn't going to sit next to me and didn't want to but he did in the end oh sorry sorry you fucking got to sit next to me you literally brought me here you literally invited me here like the fuck he was being weird and very cuddly we shared his airpods and listened to his music i'm sorry babes what the fuck i would have been like get piss off excuse me is there any other spare seats on the plane i'd really appreciate to sit away from him if that's okay that would have been me not really i'm terrified of flying i would have been curled up in his lap okay while i was trying to sleep he had typed out a long message on his

phone for me to read okay brilliant bring on the paragraph he gave me the phone and this message was saying how he was so grateful for me and so happy to have spent the week with me and how much he appreciates me really i wasn't getting that vibe by the way that you avoided me and made me cry for the last five out of seven days i'm not i'm not picking up what you're putting down, to be honest. And how much he appreciates me, which I thought was nice. But in my head, I was still thinking he said he didn't want anything to do with me after holiday. We land, thank God, lol.

We all drive home back to his with his mum and dad. We'd been awake at this point for over 24 hours. His family made me a cup of tea to chill out. But before I could even try my cup of tea, not drink it he wanted to be taking me home fucking hell you just said that you you really appreciate me now I can't even sit down have a cup of tea with your mum Christ I made a joke Christ you really are trying to get rid of me but deep down I knew that was actually the case he dropped me off home we barely spoke for the next week. I kept asking to see him, but no, he didn't want to see me. Two, three, four, five, six weeks went by and we still hadn't seen each other since he dropped me home.

I wasn't going to chase him. I've known him five years. There wasn't any point over it completely. Week eight of still not seeing him, he texts me and tells me the love just isn't there. Oh, fuck. I could have told you that, babe. We've been in a situation for five fucking years.

You treat me like shit. Talk to me like shit. Never make me feel good about myself. Take me on holiday. Tell me you don't want nothing to do with me. Ghost me for four fucking weeks. I could have told you that darling a week later he's phoned me to go stay around again i don't think so i don't think could do could do or you could just let me live just let me live

okay i've managed to find some self-respect and say no we can't keep doing this if the love isn't there yeah too bright the week later he tried again of course he did obsessed again no from me we're just friends from a distance at this point anyway the final straw last week i find out he's got a new girlfriend excuse me we've been seeing each other for five fucking years and you couldn't ever make me your girlfriend and now you're just gonna get with someone real fucking quick well there we go there's there's my answer who's been staying around his all weekend not sure how his mom or dad has allowed a new girl in the house already but funnily enough this isn't the first time he's suddenly dropped me and got a girlfriend. Maybe the 4th or 5th. This guy has been stringing you along.

He's been running you for a... Running you through the... He's been... He... What the fuck is it? He's been running you through the... Um... Yep.

That thing. But I can tell you all now it will be the last I haven't heard from him in two weeks spoke to his mum who said she hoped we could still be friends but obviously I really don't think that is the case there's no need to be friends with someone like this honestly you bring nothing to my life at this point there is no need for us to be friends but thank you which is sad as we've known each other for a long time but like I keep saying to people you can't be friends with someone you were once in love with so that's it also he clearly stuck to his word of how he didn't want anything to do with me after the holiday lol my advice for anyone now is never get into a situation ship and cut it off before

it goes on for five whole fucking years as it's a lot of heartbreak and pain and I actually deserve the world. Not that. Yeah, you do. You deserve the world. So, so, so sorry it was long. No, I love the long ones. Make them long. I love it. Thank you for reading it out. Love you. Bye. P.S. Also, the book Why Men Love Bitches has really helped me not give a fuck as he actually treats me like shit and I don't want that anymore. Yes, I've heard really good things about that book, Why Men Love Bitches. I feel like so many of you must have read that because I've heard it's really good and very popular so well it's been an exhausting five years for you babes but I'm really happy that you have found the light at the end of the tunnel there is an end to this situation ship to somebody that's just taken the absolute piss out of you

for five fucking years and i'm really proud of you for saying no because sometimes it's hard when someone rejects you over and over and for five years you've just been in love with someone you just want them to want to be with you when they turn around they're like come over it's they make you feel not rejected just for five minutes and you want to jump in and go yes oh my god whoo he wants me and it's really hard to say no so well done for putting your foot down and saying no no no thank you and yeah he's got a girlfriend but clearly this guy is missing something because he's had five girlfriends in the last five years and you so you know I mean to be fair there is actually nothing wrong with that alone but with his character traits

and that it's not looking good for him or his girlfriend to be honest hopefully she gets out or you know maybe he'll treat her really well and they'll be happy together and that's nice as well because doesn't matter to you, does it? You're into bigger and better things no matter what happens in his life. So who cares? Just focus on yourself, babe. You're free now. Run for the hills, darling.

All right. Oh, that was so fun. You guys need to send in the updates as soon as you have them. Like, please send them in. They go straight to a folder. They won't get lost. So, yeah, I love you. Thank you if you sent in an update. Let's wrap up the episode. Okay, everyone. That episode was really

fun. Honestly, I absolutely loved it. Thank you so much to everyone that listened. If you made it all the way to the end, you are the best, the best of friends. And I'm so grateful for you. I appreciate you so much you are everything to me send in your dilemmas confessions dilemma updates weekly debate ideas to leahontheline.com and yeah i hope you guys all have an amazing weekend whatever it is that you're getting up to if you're getting drunk don't text directs text me instead thank you for being in my company today thank you for having me in yours and i will speak to you on tuesday for a brand new episode all right i love you