Morbid - *BONUS* Listener Tales Patreon Edition: PART 2

Episode Date: October 11, 2021

A bonus spoopy listener tales brought to you by the Patronisi! This episode features an almost country massacre, a mountain dew seance, a ghost simply called “The Man,” and more!!! Hold o...n to your butts.  P.s These patreon-penned listener tales are so great that we’ve decided to add one Patreon Listener tales episode to the regularly scheduled programming for the rest of October!! Party. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey, Prime members, you can listen to morbid, early, and ad-free on Amazon music. Download the app today. You're listening to a morbid network podcast. Whether you're running errands on your daily commute, or even at home, you can enjoy all your audio entertainment in one app, the Audible app. As an Audible member, you can choose one title a month to keep from the entire catalog. This includes the latest bestsellers and new releases. Plus get full access to a growing selection of included audiobooks, audible originals,
Starting point is 00:00:30 and more. If you've been wanting to form good habits, break bad ones, and improve motivation, atomic habits written and narrated by James Clear is a great lesson. It'll reshape your mindset on progress and success by helping you develop strategies to transform your habits. New members can try audible free for 30 days. Visit audible.com slash wondery pod or text wondery pod to 500-500 to try audible for free for 30 days.
Starting point is 00:00:52 That's W-O-N-D-E-R-Y-P-O-D. Audible.com slash wondery pod or text wondery pod to 500-500 to try audible for free for 30 days. The Angie's List you know and trust is now Angie, and we're so much more than just a list. We still connect you with top local pros and show you ratings and reviews, but now we also let you compare up front prices on hundreds of projects and book a service instantly. We can even handle the rest of your project from start to finish. So remember, Angie's List is now Angie, And we're here to get your job done right. Get started at Angie.com.
Starting point is 00:01:28 That's ANGI, or download the app today. Hey, weirdos, I'm Ash and I'm Alena. And this is a little bonus episode of Morbid. Hey, there's gonna be three this week because it's spooky season girl. And we asked our Patreon lovers and listeners. Love us. Love us. Love us to send us in their spooky tales because we figured we would do like a special spooky, you know, patronus bonus listener tales episode
Starting point is 00:02:32 and we got so many good ones that we were like, we could make this like a four hour episode or we could just give you bonus episodes with extra spooky tales in them on top of the regular episodes for the week. I'm just nodding my head really aggressively right now. I'm like, yeah! I'm hungry! I'm hungry! Figured? They're giving you a bonus one, spooky tales on top of the regular episodes for the week would be much better. Because who does something exciting?
Starting point is 00:02:57 Who doesn't love extra spooky tales on spooky season? I don't know anybody that doesn't like that. I don't know. I think you're all ready for it. I think you are. I think you're ready for the jelly. And honestly, the patronuses have really outdone themselves and that's why we were like, we can't, we have to keep reading these. They're so good. No, these are truly amazing. They have really done the damn thing.
Starting point is 00:03:17 So we wanted to, we wanted to do this for you guys. I'm more excited for Spooky's Layson. Well, Spooky's was old. Also, I want to hear what everybody's excited for Spooky's Lies on. Well, Spooky's Lies on. Also, I want to hear what everybody's doing for Spooky season two. Like, I think I asked it in like the Patreon. I was like, what are y'all doing for Spooky season? Cause we're like still in a pandemic.
Starting point is 00:03:36 Yeah. And you know that delta, that delta variant. She's just creeping around doing the damn thing. And I know a lot of haunted houses are open, but I wonder if anybody's doing anything like unique that we can take inspiration from because we really wanna do something fun, but we're not super comfy going inside of a haunted house.
Starting point is 00:03:57 Exactly, because I know the babes can't get vaccinated yet. It looks like they're gonna be able to very soon, but they can't get vaccinated yet and nothing's worse putting them in danger, so but outside things, I'm like, I would really like to find some outside things. I know there's one that we went to before, like an outside one, that we could go to, because I love a haunted corn maze. Like give me a haunted corn maze, give me a haunted hay ride, I'm all about. So if you live in Massachusetts, let us know. Yeah, let us know about any like outdoor spooky things
Starting point is 00:04:28 that we can do together, because we're craving it more than anything in the entire world. I just, I need to be driven through a corn maze. I know. Because the spooky season is like fully on right now. And I haven't done anything spooky yet. Yeah, like who, you know, everybody's done some fun fall things,
Starting point is 00:04:42 like the pumpkin, you know, picking and apple picking and having the apple picking yet. Yeah, see, we went apple picking and I made some delicious food out of it, but I also made some delicious food out of it. And Elena got 40 pounds of apples. I'm not joking. 40 pounds of apples. Yeah, that's to say, do you want some of these?
Starting point is 00:05:00 And I was like, yes, I do. Because the whole time we were picking the most, like, you know, Ash will make some Apple things too. So I'll just give her some apples. And Ma will. And your mother-in-law. I will. So, you know, we'll make that. They all went to good use.
Starting point is 00:05:15 They really did. And we all got a little more fiber in our diet. But hopefully you can do something. You know, I love doing stuff with the kids. I just hope we can do some more like haunted things when the kids go to sleepy sleep. I know. Yeah, like more like adult haunted things. the kids go to sleep easily. I know.
Starting point is 00:05:25 Yeah, like more like adult haunted things. Yeah, so let us know what you're doing. And I'm just interested to see what you guys are doing. Oh, what's up? I just like you. What's the cool jam? What is that? What are you guys listening to?
Starting point is 00:05:35 Awesome. Tell me everything. Oh, you girls keep me young. I love you so much. I think I must that whole thing up, but it's just fine. You made it your own. I did, yeah. You did. Like a regular rash, I'm a cool ash. Do you want must that whole thing up, but it's just fine. It's fine. You made it your own. I did, yeah. You did.
Starting point is 00:05:46 Like a regular ash, I'm a cool ash. Do you want to go first or would you like me to? I think you should. Okay, should I start from the top? From the top, should I start? Yeah. Did you get that or no? Yeah, you did?
Starting point is 00:05:58 Wow, TikTok has changed. You did. I really have. I am really appreciative of that, because that's literally the only reason I know. Up from the top, listener tails, that's fun. That's fun, yeah. That's fun. And that's the only thing that I could say
Starting point is 00:06:11 that people could listen to in the car. Anyways, this one says, listener tail. And then my neighbor was eaten by a shark, yeet. And I was like, well, that subject line will really grab you in. Yeet? It says, hello, my favorite ladies. I have attached a putt of foe of my listener tale.
Starting point is 00:06:28 It isn't like any of the other listener tales I've heard, and I am slightly obsessed with morbid, so I think I'd remember. But it involves shark gods and has the word yeet for ash, and all sorts of stuff about the ocean, which would freak a lane out. Yeah, I mean, all of it. I'm here for it. You've sold us. They say, I have many crazy stories about growing up in literally the backside of beyond, but unfortunately they're neither
Starting point is 00:06:50 Crying me or Spooky. So I hope my shark story is fun. I apologize for any mistakes And if it isn't your style of thing, I hope you enjoy. Now I'm going to hit send before I freak myself out. Keep it weird Thank you, and they hit send. I'm glad you hit send. Me too, because this is truly something. All right. Hello to the best funniest, raddest podcasters there are. That was the best intro ever. That was so nice.
Starting point is 00:07:14 You can use my name, it's Rachel. Hi, Rachel. As on the infinite, say that word for me. Infiniteismally. Infiniteismally tiny chance that someone from the small community where this takes places listening, they'll be able to figure out who I am. I'd say small towns, y'all, but it's more like small islands, y'all. I like that.
Starting point is 00:07:34 I discovered your podcast earlier in 2021 and a rather roundabout way. Late night stress scrolling on Instagram because teaching middle school in a pandemic, y'all. Oh, teach, I bow down. Yeah, for a round. I bow down to you. Thank you. But that showed them a Stephanie Harlow video. We love Stephanie Harlow.
Starting point is 00:07:50 We do. Which took me to YouTube. But I'm trying to cut down on screen time. So when I went to find her podcast, I ended up with yours instead. Well, that's awesome. You should listen to both of them, because hers is really good too.
Starting point is 00:08:00 She's great. And I've never looked back. I have listened to every single episode, except for the super hardcore spooky spooky ones, like the Weecherboard ones, because nope. I promise it's great. And I've never looked back. I have listened to every single episode, except for the super hardcore spooky spooky ones, like the Weeja board ones, because nope. I promise it's interesting. I'd like to set those ones out too, because I'm terrified of Weeja board, so I feel you.
Starting point is 00:08:14 But you get some history. Oh, you do, and it's fun. You would like it. And if I can do it, anybody can. You can do it. When I'm getting ready in the morning or on the way to work on breaks, you get the idea. We've had over two months of lockdown this year,
Starting point is 00:08:25 and it has gotten me through some serious loneliness in boredom. I even figured out Patreon just so I could support you. Aw. That's so nice. And feed my addiction through Patreon bonus. That was amazing. Thank you so much.
Starting point is 00:08:36 I said that like I was like, surprise that she was a Patreon. I was like, oh, you're a Patreon too. Like this is literally a Patreon. Listener to what we're here for. But either way, thank you so much. You're the best. I was always sad that I couldn't contribute to listen We're a Patreon too. This is literally a Patreon. Legend or tale. What were you here for? But either way, thank you so much. You're the best. I was always sad that I couldn't contribute to listen or tales because nothing spook
Starting point is 00:08:50 tastic or crime-related has ever happened to me personally. I've dealt with a lot of crime stuff through my job, but that stuff's never for sharing. And then I remembered the Shark God and the neighbor who got eaten in a mysterious question mark circumstances. This story is extremely long because background information, but I won't say cut it because you never do. No way. Never. Hopefully I managed to make an entertaining,
Starting point is 00:09:12 an entertaining, just entertaining, entertaining despite the length. When I was a child, I lived in a remote part of Fiji. Oh, okay. Oh, all right. That rule. Casual. That rule. How I ended up there is a long story and it doesn't involve anything podcast worthy So suffice it to say that through I Through circumstances I ended up living in Fiji from when I was about three until I was 17
Starting point is 00:09:34 With a two-year gap when we went back to Hawaii for my youngest brother to be born. I was born there too Hey, this was in the early 1990s in the early 2000s The part of Fiji where I lived is said to be home to the Daco Agna, the Shark God. There was a very deep state, uh, sorry, there was a very deep strait of water between two islands. We lived on one side of the street, on the larger of the two islands, but literally so far from anything that it was an hour by boat to a road, and then a six hour bus ride from that road to the nearest town. Whoa!
Starting point is 00:10:05 I'm stressed out just thinking about that. That's wild. The island on the other side of the street was much smaller, but it had a post office, PO boxes and a wall of a shop, which was a huge, which was a big upgrade from the previous shelf and the shop where the shopkeeper would dig for your mail. My God! Large ferries twice a week would bring in supplies. And even an airport.
Starting point is 00:10:26 And by airport, I mean a paved strip of tarmac and several small one-room buildings with benches to wait on. Amazing. That's crazy. That would scare the crap out of me. Me too. If you were flying, you literally
Starting point is 00:10:36 had to get on a scale with your carry-ons so that they could decide where on the plane you would sit to balance the weight. Nope. Never. Nope. Nope. The planes usually had one seat to the left
Starting point is 00:10:45 and two to the right in each row and carried about 16 passengers. Nope, no small planes. I am totally fine with flying. Like, I'm not, I don't have any kind of fear about it, but those small planes, that's where my fear of flying like would happen. Yeah, see, I've realized that I am very, like through you,
Starting point is 00:11:03 I have it because I was never really into astrology before you before you existed. I just didn't know. Yeah, but I since I realize I'm an earth sign and I realize how poignant that is to me because I don't I'm you're on the earth. I like to leave the ocean alone and I like to leave the sky alone. Like just keep me on the earth. Keep me on the ground. That is true. And I'm an air sign. I have like a deep fear of flying and a deep fear of the ocean. I want to see really quickly. I'm a sad.
Starting point is 00:11:30 But I'm fascinated by the ocean. That's the thing with the ocean to me. I'm terrified of it, but I'm fascinated by it. Oh, like, yeah, I could see that. Yeah. I was just looking up what Sagittarius was because I didn't know if like what element it was. And I thought maybe it would be water because I love the water so much too, but it's actually fire. Well, what Sagittarius was because I didn't know if like what element it was and I thought maybe it would be water
Starting point is 00:11:45 because I love the water so much too, but it's actually fire. Why Sagittarius? Because that's my rising. Oh, I was like, you are not a Sagittarius. But I am a little bit. There you go. I totally lost my place.
Starting point is 00:11:57 So if you were flying 16 maps, but I digress. I just want to get across the idea of how small this place was. I remembered going to the Capitol once a year when they had paved roads, and a McDonald's, and a movie theater, and how overwhelming it all was. The trip was 24 hours on a ferry, and a two-hour plus or a two-hour plus flight. And we always went by ferry, because expensive you. That's like hilarious that they were like, we can go to the McDonald's and the movie theater.
Starting point is 00:12:22 Yeah, seriously. As I was saying, this was the traditional home of the Shark God. There was a small uninhabited island next to the island with stores that according to some older folks was Dacuwanga's special home. You could go to the island to picnic and snorkel,
Starting point is 00:12:38 but you did not wear a bikini or a speedo or leave any trash behind. Be respectful when in a God's home, guys. Yeah. I mean, don't leave trash behind anywhere. Yeah, even if there's no God's involved Be respectful when in a God's home, guys. Yeah. I mean, don't leave trash behind anywhere. Yeah, even if there's no God's involved. I'm with the gods on that one. When traveling between islands,
Starting point is 00:12:50 you waited until you passed it before you started troll-fishing, and never even let the bladges of the boat drain until you were respectful distance away. I've always taken that really seriously. You might be wondering what people did there. Well, this straight happens to hold some of the most stunning scuba diving locations in the world. Tourism, especially related to diving, was the backbone of the economy.
Starting point is 00:13:12 As you can imagine, most of the tourists were from the states in Europe. Aussies and Kiwis tended not to get this far out since the inter-Island flights were as much as the international ones. So only those who had already paid for paid a fortune would pay for the extra. And they didn't really like the whole shark god thing. They didn't really take the whole shark god thing seriously. There was an incident from when I was too young to hear the story of a tourist who had a limb bitten off by a shark, but was saved and even came back years later after she healed.
Starting point is 00:13:41 And while everyone said it was a freak accident, my adopted Fiji and grandmother told me it was because she disrespected the God's home. Whoa. And when you're seven and being tucked under the mosquito net by your adopted grandmother, while the caracene lantern light shines off her hair and glints off of her gold tooth, you believe that shit. I believe that shit.
Starting point is 00:14:01 That gives me an eye-believe it. That gives me such grandma Tallah vibes from Mona. Oh, we love grandma Tallah. I love grandma Tallah. A few bays over, about 15 to 20 minutes in the 10 feet dinghy with the 15 horsepower outboard, less than in a proper boat. There was a guy.
Starting point is 00:14:18 He was in the habit of going to the island with shops, drinking with his friends, and getting up to the stuff that adults do. And my adopted grandmother would not tell me about, but she distanced and generally disobeyed, the island with shops, drinking with his friends, and getting up to the stuff that adults do. Am I adopted grandmother would not tell me about, but she distanced and generally disobeyed, which is the job of grandmother. Thruus. On the night in question, it was stormy, so he decided to swim out to check his boat, where
Starting point is 00:14:36 it was anchored about a hundred feet from shore. Not a big deal. My friends and I had done it a hundred times. This time though, it was a big deal. He left his mate still drinking, swam out to check the anchor, and had his leg bitten completely off. That's rough. Alerted by the screams, the people around him got out of the water, and tried to get him up the hill to the hospital or clinic. Unfortunately, by the time they were able to transport him, he had succumbed to blood.
Starting point is 00:15:01 There was a lot of stuff happening around this time that many of the locals weren't happy with. Loss of traditions, changing attitudes of tourists, plus the usual, this new generation doesn't show respect. So just a tragic accident caused by alcohol in a shark crazed by the dumping of animal awful in the seas by a new business, or one pissed off Shark God who had had enough and took it out on a random swimmer on a dark and stormy night. You decide. I'm going with Shark God. Me too. I bet it out on a random swimmer on a dark and stormy night, you desired. I'm going with Shark God. Me too. I bet you can guess what my adopted grandmother believed.
Starting point is 00:15:29 Hell yeah. Sisted that I show extra respect every time we went through that bit of water. Hell yeah. I have to say that now in my 30s, I lean more towards a shark that had had its natural habitat in lifestyle disrupted by humans, causing it to develop a taste for land creatures. But sometime later, when a Japanese fishing ship got stuck on a reef for several months and was selling off its cargo to try to float free, and some of the people who worked for us bought a shark to eat.
Starting point is 00:15:55 I was, I was staunchy in the group who was noping right the hell out of there as I still get a weird shiver whenever I see sharks in captivity or as a food resource. I hope you enjoyed this rambling tale for my childhood and keep it weird, but not so weird that as a community you piss off a shark god and he eats a poor drunk man who just wants to make sure that his boat doesn't float away. Wow. That was wild. That was truly something. For real. That was truly something. I love that it was just like, shark god or random accident. You decide. I'm saying, yeah, you didn't.
Starting point is 00:16:26 You know what, I'm going with shark god, shark god, even though the other one actually makes sense as well. I think they both make sense. I think it's a little bit of both. Either way, it works. It doesn't have to be one of the other. It can be both.
Starting point is 00:16:35 Yeah, you know? So like things can be savourine sweet, you know? Check shark god or like a potato chip dipped in chocolate. Oh, have you ever had like those like, have you ever had those? No. You have, right? I have.
Starting point is 00:16:50 I don't know. Have you ever had like those? I was gonna keep going, but I don't really even know what just happened. It's just with you. I love that you just malfunctioned. I did. You know what?
Starting point is 00:17:03 I think it's like, like, personal story. I started getting agron day instead of a mentee because I never finish a mentee and it's really affecting me. It's really affecting my capacity. My cognitive behavior. So the velocity of my thoughts. It is.
Starting point is 00:17:19 The velocity of your coffee directly influences the velocity of thoughts. Like the mass of your coffee? Yeah, I'm not a physics major. I have a podcast. Hey there, fellow podcast listener. It's Elena. And Ash! And we're taking you back to the days
Starting point is 00:17:37 before streaming services. Whoa! You know when you would come home from high school and it was only a few hours until that TV show Everyone was watching was about to come on well in 1999 that show was Buffy the vampire slayer in our podcast with Wondery the rewatcher Buffy the vampire slayer We take it back to 1999 so get out your knee high boots and paste that poster of angel on the wall It It's time to enter the Buffyverse. Some of you avid morbid listeners already know what we've gotten store.
Starting point is 00:18:09 Hey, Lennos. Join us as we sway our way through Buffy's drama, action, and romance. Episode by episode. Slacy. Follow the rewatcher, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen early and add free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. Darn, un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un- disasters, corporate fraud. In our newest series, we look at the Kids for Cash Scandal, a story about corruption inside America's system of juvenile justice. In Northeastern Pennsylvania, residents had begun noticing an alarming trend. Children were being sent away to jail
Starting point is 00:18:55 in high numbers, and often for committing only minor offenses. The FBI began looking at two local judges, and when the full picture emerged, it made national headlines. The judges were earning a fortune, carrying out a brazen criminal scheme, one that would shatter the lives of countless children and force a heated debate about punishment, an America's criminal justice system. Follow American scandal wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon music or Wonder App. All right, so the next one's speaking of copies. This has nothing to do with copy.
Starting point is 00:19:30 I was like speaking of copies. This one's called the Disappearing Country Psycho Killer. It would have been funny if you said... A Disappearing Coffee Serial Killer. There you go, but it's Country Serial Killer. Hey, Weirdos, here's my true campfire spooky tale about the night my cousins, myself and our babysitter were almost slaughtered.
Starting point is 00:19:48 Great. You can use my name, and I've attached a double space pit of foot because life, I hope you like it. Nick. Thanks, Nick. I also love she forgot to add it in, and then she goes, because it was like, here's the pit of foot, and then she goes just kidding. Thanks, Mercury Retrograde.
Starting point is 00:20:03 Here is the pit of foot. You know what, we're all in that with you. We're all in this together. And then she goes just kidding, thanks Mercury retrograde. Here is the purpose. You know what, we're all in that with you. We're all in this together. I made that so it just happened to my brain. I think it is. Yeah. All right, hey, Ash and Alaina.
Starting point is 00:20:13 Hey. Hey, I'm going to apologize ahead of time for the 27 different tangents this single-dock may hold. But I truly have so many tales to tell that my brain becomes all squirrely and I can't control it. I feel that Well We both feel that like all of your other last avid listeners. I'm a huge fan. Thank you
Starting point is 00:20:32 Thank you for always saying exactly what I'm thinking about the many evil rotten tuna fish stuffed ball sacks that have inhabited the earth Tuna fish stuff are ball sacks. I'm screaming. I gotta use that I like that if you ever really form a true crime task force, I really want to. Let's see. May I please offer my super suspicious, never trust anyone, Gemini, Rising Mind, in assistance because you are my people.
Starting point is 00:20:54 Hell, yeah. You're on the team. Anyway, hi. My name is Nicole. You can use my name. Hi, Nicole. Hi, Nicole. I'm a mama bear to four beautiful humans, hell Hell yeah, a Boston suburb based hairstyles.
Starting point is 00:21:07 Hell yeah, former ghosts. Okay, yeah, read that correctly. I managed ghosts and gravestones Boston for five years. Holy shit, that's awesome. You know what I have never been on that still. I went on that and let me tell you, it was one of the most fun ghost tours I've ever seen. People say that it's like super duper fun
Starting point is 00:21:26 and I've lit up my whole life other than like the blip and Hawaii and I've never gone. Well, Nicole managed it for five years, spreading the true dark history of our city to tourists and fellow weirdos. You want the creepy Boston stories? I'm your ex-goasty. Hell yeah.
Starting point is 00:21:42 Well, look at us. I know we're right on here. I am a former religious cult member. You're really, you're like, you are killing it dude. We're killing it. Until the next sentence. I was, I was at an impressionable age. There were celebrities involved.
Starting point is 00:21:57 I got to travel a decent amount. I had a fucked up childhood that left me longing for a stable family. You can pick the reason. It happened. And I always win two truths in a lot. The fact that she's like, yes, celebrities were involved. I'm like, what?
Starting point is 00:22:09 And I just love that she's like, and I always win two truths in a lot. You know what, that's how you know that your childhood was like a little rocky. You can win that game. Oh yeah, with like your eyes closed. Yep. I come from a history of intuitive women
Starting point is 00:22:22 who experience crazy shit. Same. A woman died in my house while I was living there. Not same. It was a duplex. Her head was facing the complete opposite way. Whoa. Just get it casually dropped back.
Starting point is 00:22:34 Whoa. Her backwards headed, straggly, haired spirit haunted my house until we moved. Holy shit. Isn't that crazy? She probably still does, but I was nine. And it's a story for another day. I police send that story.
Starting point is 00:22:46 I always love when people will say, like, or like, right, the craziest fucking sentence I've ever read, and they're like, but that's for another day. I'm like, no, it's not. So today. I'm looking at my watch. I'm like, what day?
Starting point is 00:22:57 I got time. What day is that other day? Let me write it on my calendar. I'll, I'll, I'll pencil that in. I'm on a need to know basis. Okay, weirdo's welcome to my brain. Hold'll I'll pencil that in. I'm on a need to know basis. Okay weirdos, welcome to my brain. Hold on to your butts. I grew up both a city mouse and a country mouse. My parents divorced when I was young and I went to school outside of Boston but spent summers
Starting point is 00:23:14 in the real, real country in southern Illinois until my dad tried to kidnap me and bring me to Vegas. But again, another story for another time. They're cool. I love how casual you are. This is the best. My dad and his side of the family lived there. My aunts and uncles are farmers. My grandparents ran a country tavern. There were only gravel roads, corn fields everywhere, and all the cute, cuddly animals a girl could ever want.
Starting point is 00:23:37 Sounds lovely. It does. I usually was with my grandparents or cousins, because my dad was, well, not ready to be a dad. He had a lot of issues, was kind of a pathological liar, hid having other kids from me, whoa, in one extra special time when my grandpa mixed up his meds,
Starting point is 00:23:54 my grandpa tried to kill him in front of me to quote, give us all some peace, and so I could see my daddy for what he really is. But I was seven at the time and just wanted to go rescue the motherfucking barn cats and peace. Wow. What of time? You weren't kidding when you sent tangents.
Starting point is 00:24:11 These are, wow. And wasn't kidding when you weren't too truths in a lie. I can see how in all of it. Enough word vomit. Let's get to the good stuff. Holy shit. What is the good stuff? One hot country night I was sleeping over at my cousin's house.
Starting point is 00:24:24 My dad was God knows where and there was some big party at the tavern that my grandparents owned. This was honestly the only bar within 25 miles, so it was kind of a big deal. My aunt and uncle were also there for the night. I was eight. My cousin Angela was seven, my cousin West was three, and my cousin Josh was a brand new baby. I need to explain the house. It would have been my dream house, had I not almost been a victim of a country massacre. You know that little thing. Just that. That'll ruin it for you. My uncle was one of the biggest farmers in Southern Illinois.
Starting point is 00:24:55 He had a beautiful old white farmhouse on a large plot of land. I'm talking acres and acres as far as the eye can see. That was awesome. Yeah, right? Of course, there was an enormous barn and no neighbors for miles. Not awesome. It reminds me of the house and scream, like in the first scene.
Starting point is 00:25:11 The main floor layout was a kitchen and dining room combo, which led to a playroom and then the living room. In the living room, there was a door behind the couch, which when opened, led to a beautiful stairs that wrapped up and around to a hall. The first door on the right was my cousin, Anjel's bedroom. Then at the end of the hall was a door, and to the left of that was another door. The one at the very end belonged to my aunt, Nungel. The door to the left was the boy's room slash nursery, and those two end rooms also connected
Starting point is 00:25:41 inside the rooms. I never knew why the couch blocked the only door up to the bedrooms. In my head this house was huge, but maybe it just wasn't as big actually. My aunt had hired a 13 year old girl named Kirstie to babysit us. She spent the whole time talking on the phone to her boyfriend and definitely told us to go to bed way earlier than we wanted to. My cousin and I were obviously not sleeping. It was so hot and we were staring out her window trying to catch a breeze. It was about that time that we saw fireworks. It was exciting.
Starting point is 00:26:12 Our bedtime rebellion was worth it. Almost immediately we also noticed a white light in the yard. It was moving. Another part of the light show. We ran downstairs to talk herstie. As we excitedly ran into the kitchen, we saw herstee was not experiencing the same joy. In fact, she was frantically locking any doors and windows that she could.
Starting point is 00:26:32 She not commonly explained that the fireworks were too close and there was a prowler in the yard. I didn't know what a prowler meant at that point in my life, but I felt the vibes of the room. Saw the 13-year-old was supposed to keep us safe, grab the biggest knife she could find, and was confident that I did not like any part of what was happening. She... She rushed us back upstairs, making sure to pull that behind the couch door extra tight.
Starting point is 00:26:56 She told us to go into my aunt and uncle's room, lock the door, made sure the nursery door was locked, and started crying. Fuck. She forgot to bring the handy dandy list of emergency phone numbers because this was the early 90s and cell phones weren't a thing. Jesus, I don't think cordless phones were even a thing in that house.
Starting point is 00:27:13 She began panic dialing any combination of phone numbers, and I distinctly remember thinking that she was not qualified to be watching us. I love that like all this chaos is happening when you're like, Christy, get it the fuck together. Christy, I don't think you're gonna get another baby sitting job after this. Around that time, the banging started.
Starting point is 00:27:30 Ah, I'm talking loud, breaking into this house in the middle of nowhere where no one could hear a scream kind of banging. No, thank you. Christy took a break from the phone and instructed us to start pushing furniture against the door. Anything heavy that are fucking seven andand-eight-year-old baby-hands could move.
Starting point is 00:27:48 My cousin happily danced to the window and said, oh look, there are three lights. Does that mean three prowlers? Poor cursed, he cursed he was crying, screaming shit over and over. I was moving furniture alone. No one seemed overly concerned about the babies in the nursery. I'm concerned. I know, right? And I can remember giggling a little at these absurdity of it all.
Starting point is 00:28:11 I've always had inappropriate reactions to things, same. I knew you were gonna say that. Karstie was now begging my cousin to remember the number to the tavern, to which Angela responded, I don't know, but I know my phone number. Super helpful. I love this. Around this time we heard what I can now describe as Jack Nicholson hacking down the door
Starting point is 00:28:32 in the shining. Good. It was behind the couch door. The next thing I remember was complete and utter silence. I could hear all of our heartbeat. We turned the lights off in the room and Kirstie told us not to make a sound. We listened and we then watched as the door knob began to turn, then violently shook. Kirstie screamed at us to push against the door. I will never in my life forget the next 17... I was like, wait, what?
Starting point is 00:28:59 I did so funny because when I read that at first I was like, wait, what? I will never in my life, it says the next 17 years that occurred. I was like, that's a long time. Like, I'm like, I'm not bad at all. I will never in my life forget the next 17 years that occurred. It was probably only 10 minutes, but anyone knows that 10 minutes of pre-murder
Starting point is 00:29:17 is equal to years in our free. I would think so, pre-murder. We pushed up hard against the bureau and bedside table blocking the door. It all pushed back. Over and over we felt such a strong force hurtling into the door. We were all crying at this point, then it stopped. It stopped. Got quiet. And my cousin piped up that she remembered the number to the tavern. Thank fucking God. Also, I'm semi-sure that she always knew the number. It was just being an asshole
Starting point is 00:29:45 because she tortured her babysitters. I know I shouldn't say that about a seven-year-old, but she was a real brat. Back to the murdering. Kirstie called and no one answered. She called five more times and finally my grandpa answered. I don't know if she made any sense it. If she made any sense at all, but that's saint of a man said he was on his way. That's when the banging started again. Only this time it it was different it was scratchy and stabby and persistent I love stabby stabby and adjective whatever was on the other side of that door had a knife or an axe or a hatchet or something that was going to fuck us all up I'm still worried about the baby I was just going to say that. We were back in our spots,
Starting point is 00:30:27 barricading ourselves in. After another few minutes of hell, the sound of tires on gravel could be heard in the distance. The sound stopped. And the next thing I knew, my angel, Grandpa's voice was calling to us. We flung the door open and saw him climbing over the couch and through the door, huge ass shotgun in hand. My grandpa, my hero, he scooped us all up and checked it out, soon after my on-nuncle came home. And you guys, my aunt and uncle didn't believe us. How? The door to their room looked like a bear tried to claw it down, and they tried to say it was a windstorm.
Starting point is 00:31:04 A windstorm inside their fucking say it was a wind storm. A wind storm inside their fucking house that has a secret upstairs. To this day, when this is brought up, they deny it. It was our wild imagination, but seriously fuck that shit that scarred me for life. I feel like maybe, like, they had to have known, like, like, there was like some kind of family secret. That's not shady as fuck. Like, why was there like a couch barricading the door? Why were they like, oh, windstorm inside the house? Like, something's weird. I love, Christy never babysit again.
Starting point is 00:31:34 Fair enough. Fair enough. Fair enough. My cousin went on to be a total no at all, but I still love her. My beloved grandpa passed away about five years ago. I'm sorry. Three months to the day after my grandma, his high school sweetheart passed. Oh my god.
Starting point is 00:31:48 He was a retired police officer who entered, entered early retirement after a case in which three girls, the same age as his own at the time, walked themselves into the police station to report their severe sexual abuse at the hands of their father. That's horrible. My grandpa was the one to pick up the evil bastard. And let's just say he looked one way then when they went into the station's elevator and quite a bit bloodier and uglier
Starting point is 00:32:12 than when those elevator doors opened. You better believe he got a full police funeral though. The person or thing that was able to disappear without a trace, we know it was real. Was it human? That I can't say, but I will never forget it. Well, that's my almost massacre story. Thanks for reading and hope you keep it weird.
Starting point is 00:32:33 Take it away, Ash. But not so rare that this happens. Yeah. PS, in case you're wondering, 9-1-1 was an option. It would have been an hour before help derive. PPS, I saw only where I wrote the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. And seriously, let me know if you want the inside scoop on all things spoopy Boston, like the common being one of the largest, largest unmarked mass graves,
Starting point is 00:32:54 or my favorite serial killer, Jane Topin, who killed more people than Lizzie Borden and the Boston Strangler combined. I know that the Boston Common is one of the largest. And girl, you know what? Let's talk. It's so creepy. I used to have to walk through the Boston Common is one of the largest and girl. Let's talk. It's so creepy. I used to have to walk through the Boston Common every single day. Yep.
Starting point is 00:33:10 I was just walking over a mass gravesite. I'm saying, let's talk. A lot of bad things happen there. I want to hear your, I want to hear your toast. Yeah, please write in. That was amazing. I'm terrified for you still. I just want to, like, what happened there?
Starting point is 00:33:23 I got to know. I got to know. Let's. I gotta know. I gotta know. Let's hopefully find out someday. I hope. My next one is called Patreon Listener Tale, Mountain Dew Overload, and Off Brand Sanctis. Oh yeah. Hi spooky babes, happy official spooky mall fucking season.
Starting point is 00:33:38 Yeah. Thank you. Thank you. I saw that they wrote their name, and then I was like, can I say their name? I'm Demi. You can definitely say my name, because hearing my name on my favorite podcast would be amazing. Hi, Demi. It says hi me. Hi, Demi.
Starting point is 00:33:53 Anyways, I'll spare you ladies the repetitive stuff by not stating starting out this email with telling you guys how much I Absolutely adore both of you and the podcast and your hilarious sense of humor and how I literally feel like we could all be friends and bake apple-leaf things together and talk about scary people and ghosts. LL. I love all of that and I wanted to do that. Let's do that. Isn't it also for friends now that we talked about baking apple-leaf things? And then Debbie was like, I'm here. I'm here for that.
Starting point is 00:34:17 She's like, how could you use some apples? Just pops right up like, hey, anyway, here's my story. When I was about 14, I had a friend who lived in a house that was very old. Her whole family and family friends had always claimed they'd seen or felt something out of the ordinary. And let me tell you, being alone in her basement was spine chilling.
Starting point is 00:34:35 One time she and I were watching a movie in the basement and we actually heard the light switch click as all of the lights in the basement turned off. We screamed our asses off. Her mom didn't like it. It was cool. No, it was cool. It was cool.
Starting point is 00:34:49 But on my particular night, we were having a sleepover with one other girlfriend of ours and her brother. I don't want to exaggerate, but I'd say around 50 gallons and Mountain Dew was consumed between the four of us. I don't want to exaggerate. That wasn't exaggeration, but lots of them. The thing to do was involve teens are weird. I don't want to exaggerate. That wasn't exaggeration, but lots of things are weird. Do not do. Mountain Dew. It's so good. When I was growing up, the drink
Starting point is 00:35:14 was asleep over. Yes. It was Mountain Dew and Pepsi. And maybe if you were lens, you also threw some orange soda in there. Hey, Lins, what's going on? Who loves orange soda? Lins loves orange soda. Lins loves orange soda. I just feel like Mountain Dew is like literally nuclear horse pee. No, it for sure. Like I think that's the ingredients.
Starting point is 00:35:35 And you would go like ape shit. You would just start bouncing off of every wall. Because it never goes to sleep. I just, I don't even know what it is. It was so good but so terrible. Oh yeah. And then your teeth always felt horrible the next morning. Your teeth literally felt like they were like on the precipice of falling out of your face.
Starting point is 00:35:50 They were just like sentient beings that were about to jump out of your mouth at any given time and like fight people around you. That's how they felt. Actually, yeah. Well, needless to say, we were wired in the wee hours of the night. We decided to be good, smart, bright young kiddos and have a say on it and my friend's bedroom, which was in the wee hours of the night. We decided to be good, smart, bright young kiddos and have a say on it and my friend's bedroom, which was in the creepy ass basement.
Starting point is 00:36:08 Yeah, this was around 2.30 a.m. I'm sure it goes without saying, the parents were already long gone asleep to floors up. We weren't sure how to do it, so we just gathered one or two candles and placed it in the middle of the floor, and we sat in a cheesy little circle around the candles holding cans. We kept calling out to the spirits that could hear us, asking for any sign at all. Nothing happened for maybe 10 minutes. Finally, I got tired of the silence, so I thought maybe being a little dramatic dumbass
Starting point is 00:36:34 could help. Yeah, mind as well try. Isn't it always? I blew out the candle so it was completely pitched black in the room and I said, Just show yourself. Immediately, my friend's bedroom door banged loud. It sounded like someone got a running start from the end of the hall and body slammed into her door.
Starting point is 00:36:53 We all screamed and jumped for the nearest pillow or sleeping bag to hide under, except for the little brother who dived for the light switch. Fucking weird. He's like, I need light. When I lifted my head from being buried into my pillow, I immediately yelled at him, dude, what the hell? Thinking it was him who had snuck off when I blew up the candle, banged the door as a joke, and then turned the light on. But once I saw his face,
Starting point is 00:37:15 I could tell he was just as terrified as the rest of us girls. And my tube friends confirmed that it had, excuse me, and my two friends confirmed it couldn't have been him when they reminded me that we had all been holding hands the entire time and he had never let go of either of their hands until we all went screaming. We were all extremely shaken, but had to see if someone was messing with us. After taking a few minutes to calm down, we opened the bedroom door to see nothing but the black emptiness stretching down her basement hallway, and on the ground was my friend's metal cross that had been hanging on the outside of her door the entire time I had known her.
Starting point is 00:37:50 I had known her. Let me repeat, it was on the ground. As in whatever banged on the door caused this thing to fall off. Ew, ew, yeah, that's no good. The next morning at breakfast, my friend's mom was clearly unhappy with us. She said all the commotion we were causing woke her and her husband up.
Starting point is 00:38:09 I figured she was talking about our screaming because I imagined three teenage girl screaming must have been annoyingly disrupting to the slumber of old people. I went home. We'll imagine that. Yeah, right. I went home later that day
Starting point is 00:38:20 and I got a phone call from the same friend. First, she told me she was grounded, LOL. But second, she told me her mom asked her what the fuck we were doing so late at night and why we were slamming on the door. So that same bang that it scared the actual mountain-do-infused shadow of us was loud enough to wake her mom from two floors above us, not our screaming. So there you go. I wish I could tell you more scary stuff that happened at that house, but this one particular occurrence is definitely the most memorable, and I honestly don't think I'll ever forget it. I got chills just writing it all, or just rewriting it all. Hope you guys enjoyed. Happy Halloween season you guys. I love you and keep up the amazing work. Wow. Thanks. That's terrifying,
Starting point is 00:38:58 and it makes me think at my parents' house when I was walking by what is, at my parents' house, when I was walking by what is, because my parents' house is super, super old, like mine too. Like haunted as fuck. Yeah, like hundreds of years old. And the master bedroom in that house, like the old master bedroom, they like added onto it, but the original master bedroom
Starting point is 00:39:18 is definitely the most haunted in that house. And you know, I didn't even know that that was the original master bedroom. Yeah, that was the original master bedroom. I was like, no, it's the other one. Like, no. And I would, one night, I walked by it to go to like the computer room when I was living there.
Starting point is 00:39:32 And I walked by and as soon as I went by the door, it made me think of what Demi said. Because she said it sounded like somebody took a running start and hurled their entire body against the door. It sounded like someone went from one end of the room in there because the door was closed. Right. To the door and hurled their entire dense as a dying sun body against that door.
Starting point is 00:39:56 It was the loudest, most violent thing. I literally, whatever I was holding, I dropped and I literally flattened against the wall. It scared me that hard. That's so so scary as soon as she said that way too It was like very narrow and like freaky and so and I can just I as soon as she said that in the story I was like oh my god. You do you go back downstairs? I literally ran downstairs to mom my parents It was like I'm something to know and dad went in there. Nothing was there nothing was fallen in front of the door Nothing that's like I had to I used to sleep in that room when I would visit. And like, you weren't home or anything.
Starting point is 00:40:30 And I was sleeping there one night, and there was like a little like, top-or-box full of stuff. And I literally watched it slide across the entire floor. I've never been so scared in my life. I picked up whatever I had and yeeted myself across the hall into a lady's bedroom. I was like, I'm sleeping in here tonight.
Starting point is 00:40:48 Here I am. And I never slept in that room again. Yeah, that room is terrible. I hate that room. So, Demi, thank you for bringing that memory to life for real, even like these days. And the cross. I don't like that one. All right, so my next one is Patronis Centric Listener Tales, The Dead Guy in Production.
Starting point is 00:41:05 Love that. The Dead Guy in Production. Let's see. It says, Happy High Holy Season to both of you lovely ladies. More but is my most favorite podcast, which is saying something because as a stay-at-home mom by day graphic designer at night, I usually have a true crime or ghost story podcast,
Starting point is 00:41:23 or TV show playing in one year. Airpodsman, what would we do without them? Also, oh, I also have to tell you that I almost passed out from laughing while I was listening to the Michael Moloi episode. You two are the best. Whenever anyone asks me for podcasts, I always tell them yours first.
Starting point is 00:41:38 Thank you. All right, so let's get into the story, which I have attached as a double space putt of a because I love you I love you too. Ily. Sorry in advance for any weird spelling or grammatical errors. I make words look pretty, not sound pretty.
Starting point is 00:41:52 Huh. Huh. Way back in the days when you had to download your podcast from iTunes on your computer, I graduated college and started working in a sign printing company. My desk had two large i-max on it, but one of them wouldn't turn on. So it was basically just taking up space. My cheap ass boss kept saying he was going to get it fixed, but never did. It ended up coming in handy, though, because I positioned it to where I could use the reflection to see if someone was walking up behind me and could pretend that I was working.
Starting point is 00:42:21 Instead of looking at whatever I was looking, we all looked out on the internet circa 2012 when we were actually supposed to be working. Anyway, every once in a while I would get that feeling of being watched out of the corner of my eye. I would see the reflection of someone standing behind me. When I would turn around, no one would be there, which was a little freaky, but I didn't really think too much of it until... Pause for dramatic effect.
Starting point is 00:42:44 Hold on, I will. One night, when I was working really late to get a project done, the lights in the shop behind me were turned off, and it was unusually quiet, because none of the printers or vinyl cutters were running. Since I was the only one there, I wasn't wearing my headphones. During a silence between songs, I heard footsteps on the concrete floor behind me. I was already a little spooked, being in a giant, mostly dark building alone, so I turned around fast in my chair and said out loud, did you forget something?
Starting point is 00:43:13 I was worried it was one of the production guys trying to scare me, but I was just facing a dark room full of equipment large enough to easily hide one of my co-workers, a murderer, or the girl from the grudge. I figured that the footsteps I heard must have been something else after all. I had never been there this late or alone before, plus I was already creeped out. Like the idiot at the beginning of a scary movie, I slowly rotated back to my screen and started working again, enough time passed now that I started to relax a bit. But then, in the reflection of the second computer screen, I saw the silhouette of a man standing behind me. I screamed and jumped out of my
Starting point is 00:43:49 chair, thinking it was one of my co-workers I yelled, what the hell you idiot? But there was no one behind me. No thank you, sir. I grabbed my phone and bagged so fast. I knocked my office chair over and just left it there. I booked it to the front door, set the alarm with one hand, while trying to call my husband with the other. As the foam was ringing, I was locking the glass front door and looked up to see someone peeking their head around the wall behind the reception desk. No, no, no.
Starting point is 00:44:17 I screamed and ran across the dark parking lot chanting, oh, sh-oh, sh-oh, sh-oh, sh-oh, sh-oh, sh-oh, sure that any second, I'd see Freddy Krueger running up behind me. I jumped into the car and drove out of there like a bat out of hell for real. My husband didn't answer the 587 calls I placed between the time it took me to get from my work to our shitty one bedroom apartment above a garage. When I got home, I banged through the door, like the cool-aid man on cocaine and jumped onto the bed yelling,
Starting point is 00:44:48 I was very nearly ax murdered tonight and you didn't even pick up the phone. What if you woke up to a dead wife? My super hot, stable, rational, slightly robotic husband, who is basically just immune to my bullshit, just rolls over, pats my head sleepily and murmurs, but you didn't. And has the audacity to just go to sleep?
Starting point is 00:45:08 I feel that, like this goes back to sleep. I get that. The nerve of this guy. I sleep, man. I stayed up and watched my, I'm too freaked out to sleep and need a palette cleanser to turn my brain off movie, Robin Hood, the Disney one with the animals.
Starting point is 00:45:23 But now it's an episode of Ted Lasso. Anyway, the next I still haven't watched Ted Lazo, I don't know what it is. I also don't know what that is. I keep seeing things about it. I don't even see things about it. It was either that, though. I was going to get into that or I was going to get into Squid Game, and I chose Squid Game. I chose the Real Housewives, always and forever. There you go. That's who we are. As people, I would like to say. So, yeah. But now it's an episode of Ted Lasso. Anyway, the next morning I snuck into work late
Starting point is 00:45:54 and no one said anything about my chair being knocked over or having found a dead body in the dumpsters out back. So I figured it was just a ghost and not Ted Bundy re-incarnate or whatever, so I kept my mouth shut. A few weeks later, I was sitting at my haunted desk, combining my own business, and I hear the vinyl cutter start up behind me. No. I thought nothing of it until the production manager Wyatt, who looks like he just walked out of an episode of Suns of Anarchy,
Starting point is 00:46:19 and is the nicest sweetest man I have ever met, walks over and looks at the machine for a second and then says to me, did you start this? I turn around in my chair and say, no, I thought you did just now. I rolled over to see what it's cutting and it's just a bunch of scribble lines, not words or a specific design or anything, which in hindsight is really lame. Like how awesome slash horrifying would it be if it was cutting get out or something equally scary movie cliche but I digress. Why it sits down at the computer connected to the machine and you guys it was turned off. What the fuck? He shrugs and says all shenan... all shenan... all shenan... all shenan... all shenan... he shrugs and says all nonchalant. Like it's the most normal friggin thing in the world.
Starting point is 00:47:08 Oh, it must have been the guy. The capital T and a capital G. The guy. Um, come again. Who is the guy, I ask? Oh, it's the ghost guy that hangs out here. Tell me everything, my dude. So he proceeds to tell me that one dark winter morning
Starting point is 00:47:26 he gets to work, and as he's walking up to the back door of the shop, he sees someone open the door and stick their head out. He's surprised because his car is the only one in the lot, so he yells, hey, what are you doing here this early? And instead of responding, the person just slams the door. When he gets up to the door, it's locked. He's kind of pissed because it's cold and snowy out, and it was just open. So when he gets inside, he says, what the hell? But instead, it's all dark and quiet and spooky and there isn't anyone there. He went around turning on all the lights and calling out for anyone there, but he was alone. As he's telling me this story, a couple of other guys walk past and ask what we're talking about,
Starting point is 00:48:05 because I'm staring at why it, like I've just seen a ghost. Har har. Why it says he's telling me about the guy, which like, come on, you guys couldn't think of a real name for this dumb ghost? That's like the dude. They all go, oh yeah, and tell me they're creepy encounter stories. That very day, I moved to the broken computer off my desk and onto the floor, so I could be blissfully unaware of any ghost creeping up on me. Shortly after this happened, I moved into an office space instead of my desk in the middle of the production shop,
Starting point is 00:48:34 and I never saw the guy again. But sometimes when I stayed a little too late into the evening, I would hear doors opening and closing on their own, which was always my invitation to get the fuck out. Anyway, I hope this story gave you the PBGBs just for a second. I did. I always look forward to listen to her tales episodes, and it would be an honor to have my story included with all the amazingly well-written and witty stories
Starting point is 00:48:56 submitted by those talented, we're those weirdos. I considered telling you the story about the time I was robbed at knife point when I was working in a snow cone stand at the tender age of 14, but that's for another time. We should just, okay, this is the thing. You guys just need to send all of these in and this make this subject line for another time.
Starting point is 00:49:14 Yes, please. Anybody who has said that's a story for another time. This is my siren call to you. Please send in that story and put the title for another time. So that we know. And we are going to do a listener tails episode that is just for another time.
Starting point is 00:49:32 Stories that were left for another time because that time is now. The time is come, friends. The time has come. Bring it in. Keep it weird, but not so weird that you name the ghost haunting your work probably something super original like the guy.
Starting point is 00:49:45 Exo, Danielle. Yes, you can say my name. Thanks, Danielle. Wow. Danielle, I'm glad you're alive to tell that story. Me too. That's how to really scary, and I was worried that it was a prowler for real. From the last episode. From the last story of the video. Oh, no, thank you.
Starting point is 00:50:00 My next one is, Listen to her tale. Creepy phone call saved my sister's life. A wedding invitation, also eat. Also eat. Hey ladies, here is my quick but spooppy story. I hope you enjoy it as well as unsolicited pictures of my cats. I just can't help myself and I feel like everybody needs to see their cuteness with weirdo love, Kimberly. Yes.
Starting point is 00:50:22 I'm literally obsessed with your cats, so thank you. Oh my god, I love how he's just sitting there. obsessed with your cat, so thank you. Oh my god, I love her. It's just sitting there. Is that a slither in tattoo you have? Yeah, that's bad. Wow, that is bad. So they mentioned anything about that? Oh, thanks.
Starting point is 00:50:33 No, no, no. All right. Now, onto the tail. Hello, you lovely ladies. First, I have to say how much I love your podcast. My friend turned me on to it only one month ago. And I have already binged all of your episodes and became a Patreon. Shout out to Emma. You the best. Both of you are incredible. I also got several of my co-workers to listen and now we are all obsessed
Starting point is 00:50:56 and frequently discuss cases throughout the day. Not the most appropriate work conversation but nobody said anything so far. You're fine. Everything's fine. I will try not to go on and on, but my brain is often a jumbled mess. Thank you, Narcolepsy. My name is Kimberly. Feel free to use my name as it is about as generic as it could get. I am from North and over, Massachusetts.
Starting point is 00:51:17 North and over. And I just said, Massachusetts. Massachusetts. The very trashy version of Andover. However, a fun fact about North Andover is that it had more convicted witches than Salem. That's right, it did. Hell yeah.
Starting point is 00:51:29 But with it being literal trash, the tourism isn't as the kids say bump in. But I digress to the kids say that. Isn't bump in in Salem? Is it bump in? Let's go to Salem where it's bump in. I need to find a kid and ask them if they say that. Let's find a kid.
Starting point is 00:51:45 That's the end, maybe we should have. Hello, youth. Hey, you say bump into throwing like a thug away from you, old lady. Stranger danger. This story is rather short, but in my opinion, it is guaranteed to give you full body chills. Those are my favorite kind.
Starting point is 00:51:59 I still get them when I think about it, even though I first heard about this years ago. So hop back in the way back machine and strap in. We're going to the 90s. Hey, yo! The time of questionable fashion choices, even more questionable television, some great movies, and an all around good time to be alive. Some might say the best.
Starting point is 00:52:17 Some might say the best. Some might say. Let me give you like a quick teeny tangent. Do you remember Lloyd and space? Yes, I do. Um, yeah, I saw this TikTok and it was like, let me unleash a memory for you. Do you remember Lloyd and space? Yes, I do. Yeah, I saw this TikTok and it was like, let me unleash a memory for you. I do remember that.
Starting point is 00:52:28 I forgot that Lloyd and space existed. That's wild. And I watched the whole intro and I was like, I literally watched that so many times. I love when somebody will just unlock a memory like that. It's really outrageous. Never have I ever thought about it
Starting point is 00:52:40 since I last saw it until today. Yeah, then oh my God. There it is. I do remember that. I do remember that. I do remember that. So good. Anyways, I was but that wasn't from the 90s though, it was from 2001.
Starting point is 00:52:50 That's my 90s. I was just gonna say, because I didn't watch it. I just remember it being on. That's my version of it. Because it still has that like 90s feel. You know what I mean? It does.
Starting point is 00:52:59 2001 was still like, we're just coming out. The leftover 90s. Yeah. Anyways, I was but a teeny human then and my sister and the star of this story was four. On this otherwise uneventful night, my dad was woken up to the phone ringing at around you guessed it. Three AM. Now you have to understand that just like my hermity self, my dad never answers the phone. My neither you us. Especially when the caller ID is unknown. Oh yeah, no.
Starting point is 00:53:25 As it was that night. But for some reason, this night was different and maybe due to the late hour of the call or his bewilderment of being woken up so suddenly, he got out of bed and picked up the phone. Now firmly, hold on to your butts. Holding. After saying, hello, who is this?
Starting point is 00:53:40 All he heard on the other side was a deep, slow laughing. And the laughing didn't stop as if the person didn't need to breathe. Nope. But whatever my dad would say something, asking again who this was, why they were calling this late. The laughing would get louder and pick up pace. No. My dad does not believe in anything super- oh excuse me, my does not believe in anything supernatural dad swears this wasn't a recording. That the changes in its volume and pace were too perfectly in sync with anything he said. I hate this. Yeah, this is really hated.
Starting point is 00:54:13 After a minute or so, my dad decided to hang up, frustrated, and thinking it was a stupid prank. But as soon as the phone was off, he said he had a cold chill, dad ran down his spine, leaving an overwhelming sense of dread in its wake. Ooh. So instead of going back to bed, he decided he should check on us. Oh, that's such a, like, apparent thing.
Starting point is 00:54:30 Because that'll happen to me if I have a bad dream and I wake up and, you know, sometimes you come out of a bad dream and you're like, you still feel panicked. You feel really gross. Yeah. Like, really, let's verify it. And yeah, I will get up and I will go in every single
Starting point is 00:54:42 of the, like, the girls' rooms. Yeah, because you just check on them. I don't know what this feeling is. Yeah, I believe in every single of the like the girls rooms. Yeah, because you never know I don't know what this thing is. Yeah, I believe in signs. It's like yeah, it's like robotic I just get up and do it. Yeah, there's no way I could just go right back to sleep. That makes sense out of all his five children and the different rooms he could have gone to he went straight to my sister's bed When he got to her bed, he noticed she was not sleeping peacefully as expected because she was always a good sleeper. Instead, her face looked very distressed. He put his hand on her forehead and noticed that she was burning. She was drenched in sweat and was breathing erratically. He swiftly picked her up,
Starting point is 00:55:16 ran to the bathroom and started running some cold water. While he waited for the bath to fill up, he took her temperature. It was just under 106 degrees. Oh my god. God is insane. While he waited for the bath to fill up, he took her temperature. It was just under a hundred and six degrees. Oh my God! That is insane! He yeeted my sister into the tub and went to wake up my incredibly useless mother to let her know what was going on. She and her wonderful motherly instincts barely woke up to say that she would stay home with the rest of us
Starting point is 00:55:40 and then she went back to sleep. Thankfully, their divorce started not long after this and she was no longer in our lives. Wow. Anyways, my dad went to the ER with my sister and they were able to get her temperature down and stable. Turns out she had some virus and the only symptom that presented was the fever. We still have no idea why she never cried or fussed
Starting point is 00:55:58 or had made any sign that she didn't feel well the night before. But the doctor confirmed that had she been left untreated for much longer, she could have had irreversible brain damage or even died. After a week or so of treatment, she was back to normal and healthy. It took until we were all a bit older for my dad to tell us the whole story
Starting point is 00:56:16 and how close we really were to losing her. He says that regardless of who or what called him that night, it is undoubtedly what saved my sister's life. Wow. And the look in his eyes, the few times he's ever talked about this, tells me that he truly believes that. Nowadays, she is quite a bad bitch.
Starting point is 00:56:33 She lives in California and works as a paramedic as well as a volunteer firefighter. Oh, yeah. She even helps to fight wildfires. Oh. I swear, she doesn't need sleep. I also think she's a bit cursed, but that's a whole other story.
Starting point is 00:56:46 All right, this is, I feel like this is a sign every single story we've had. It said that's for another time. Bring them in. For another time or a whole other story. I want them. I want them, give them all to me. If the planets align and you've actually read this,
Starting point is 00:56:58 I hope you enjoyed my brief, but hopefully at least, slightly spoopy story. If you read it on the pod, I will literally pee my pants, and my hands will do the weird thing my autistic brain makes them do when I get excited. Picture for reference attached. And then they invited us to their wedding. Oh my God!
Starting point is 00:57:15 That is so nice of you. I love you. Oh my goodness, and congratulations on getting married. That's amazing. You're like the sweetest human being on planet Earth. I love you. I love you. And honestly, this story was amazing because that was truly a sign.
Starting point is 00:57:29 Absolutely. Absolutely. Truly a sign, serious. And I love your tattoo. Me too. Wow. That stressed me out and every way to stress out. I just love a good sign.
Starting point is 00:57:39 Well, a lot of these things keep relating back to things that like I think of it. I keep relating them back to my own like I think of it, I keep relating them back to my own life. I don't know why. This is happening this episode so often. It immediately made me think of one of my twins when she got to hospital. As soon as they said like, when the night that we figured out that she was really sick was that we woke up in the middle of the night for no reason.
Starting point is 00:58:02 And she did have a crazy fever and she had a crazy fever and was breathing erratically. And we were like, holy. And it was the same thing I went in there. And she looked distressed. Yeah. And I had just woke up. Just had a feeling. Yeah, I just woke up and went in there.
Starting point is 00:58:15 Mothers and stinks. It's definitely like a parent thing. Like your dad clearly loves you. And it's like really close to you guys and felt something. A dad instinct. And then that person or thing called and started laughing in his ear.
Starting point is 00:58:27 So yeah, what the hell was that about? Like what a weird way to give somebody a sign, man. For real, I'd be like, go check on the kids. I'd be like, can you give me a less scary sign please? Oh, all right. So where are we in this episode? We could probably read one more. Let's go.
Starting point is 00:58:43 I have a good one. Let's go. So we have one. And I think we might just continue this through spooky season, like could probably read one more. Let's go. I have a good one. Let's go. So we have one, and I think we might just continue this through spooky season, like, giving you the extra one, so. Yeah, like, three episodes a week for spooky season. So just like, you know, it's gonna be great. Mary Halloween.
Starting point is 00:58:54 Mary Halloween. So this one is called Spooky Season Listener Tales, Drama Club Midnight, a Connecticut ghost story. Drama Club Midnight. I love it. It makes me think of, shit, I can't remember it now. What a spoiler.
Starting point is 00:59:10 Drama Club midnight. No, I was thinking of the office. Michael Scott's, you won it on a girlfriend. You won it on a girlfriend. His screenplay, threat level midnight. Oh, yes, that, you know. I don't watch the office, so it's fine, but.
Starting point is 00:59:24 Sorry. threat level midnight, drama club midnight. Oh yes, you know, I don't watch the office so it's fine, but sorry. threat level midnight, drama club midnight. Hi Elena Nash, I'm writing to you from I also love that we accidentally picked a lot of New England story. I was not. I literally like opened this up to follow along and I was like, oh my gosh, yeah, like I don't know why that happened. Yeah, because we picked them actually like it's a mishmash of all of our pits. Yeah, it really is. All right, hi, Alana and Ash. I'm writing to you from a snowy new Hampshire cabin two days after my COVID wedding.
Starting point is 00:59:50 Wow. And another wedding. Congratulations. So hi from my mini-moon. I've somewhat recently discovered you guys, and I just want to say thank you for making my drive so much more bearable. You are welcome.
Starting point is 01:00:02 I'm a piano teacher, so my job literally consists of my driving all over the state from less than to lessen. And now it feels like I'm driving with two of my best friends. Oh, you are! I'm so glad we drive with you. I have quite the story to share with you. And regardless of whether it gets read on your show or not,
Starting point is 01:00:18 though I hope it does. It does. It does, spoiler alert. It feels so therapeutic for me to finally write it down. What I am about to tell you might seem crazy, like I made it all up. Sometimes I wish I did, but everything I am about to tell you
Starting point is 01:00:31 is 100% the truth. Feel free to use my name. Hi, I'm Carrie, hi, Carrie, but I'm changing the name of the place because I think technically we were trespassing. Oops, so here goes. I was in college at the time and had come home for the weekend
Starting point is 01:00:45 to see my best friend, Isaiah, pronounced like Isaiah. Thank you for that. So it's Isaiah. And I fancied ourselves slightly above amateur ghost hunters. Connecticut is a decently haunted state. Sure it is. And we would spend our weekends researching different places and then heading out around midnight to see for ourselves Looking back, I feel so sorry for my father for probably giving him weekly heart attacks I can only imagine how he felt seeing us put on our war paint and gathering our crucifixes before heading out to some remote Destination in the middle of the night. Most college kids came home for a decent meal I came home for mischief and adventure. I love you.
Starting point is 01:01:26 This particular night, I remember his last words to us. Be careful of cults at these places. People scare me more than ghosts. We should not have gone out. Oh no, man. I love people scare me more than ghosts. Oh, it's scary. We arrived at, hmm, let's call this place Fields Hollow. Oh, oh, okay. I can't figure out where that is. We're couldn't have been. About an hour before midnight, we parked our car a little ways away from the main property in case police patrol the area. Fields Hollow consisted of several abandoned buildings and many acres of woods.
Starting point is 01:01:59 According to our research, we were looking for faces in the windows, curtains moving slightly, orbs in the houses, and shadows on the edges of the tree line. We had our phones and our flashlights, we were ready. We began our excursion quietly moving around the small cottage-looking buildings. All the doors were locked, but we were able to take pictures through the windows in an attempt to capture orbs. So far, we were not seeing anything. Everything seemed perfectly still, and the
Starting point is 01:02:25 night was an oppressive kind of quiet. All until all of a sudden, it wasn't. Isaiah Knight stopped dead in our tracks. As we listened, we heard music coming from the other end of the property. Goodbye. The music was scratchy and old sounding, as if being played from a record player that had seen better days. No, thank you. Field Tolo was divided into an upper and lower property separated by a tree line and a huge hill. We were on the upper part of the property, so we headed into the direction of the music, how yeah you did. When we reached the trees, we ducked down and looked out into the abyss.
Starting point is 01:03:02 I couldn't believe my eyes. At the bottom of the hill was another house, a large white colonial structure with a huge wrap around porch. Sounds pretty. On the porch were about 20 adults wearing long purple robes, dancing in pairs to the bone-chilling music.
Starting point is 01:03:20 Sounds fucking awesome. I'm literally obsessed with this. Like they're just dancing. I'm literally obsessed with this. Like they're just dancing. I'm obsessed. We sat perfectly still, shrouded by the trees, mesmerized by the scene before us. When I could finally form thoughts again, my first was, holy shit, my dad was right.
Starting point is 01:03:38 It seemed like we had come across some sort of cult. Yeah. I was instantly worried for our safety and could only imagine what would happen if we were spotted. I mean, hello, can anyone say sacrifice? All of a sudden the music stopped. One of the men in the purple robes held a microphone. He told everyone to line up. In perfect spine-chilling synchrony, each person bent down and picked up a long black tube. And then by single file entered the house. We were stunned.
Starting point is 01:04:07 What were those tubes for? What was going on? I mean, I knew Connecticut has its own brand of identity crisis, suburban crazy, but this was next level. Also, why did he have a microphone? I gotta know. Now at this point, you're all probably thinking, okay, so you went home, right?
Starting point is 01:04:22 Wrong. Our dumbass has decided that as long as we stayed on the upper part of the property, we would be fine. Sigh. You know what, I'd be there too, though. I'd be like, where could you find me? Where could you leave?
Starting point is 01:04:31 How could you leave? I can't even know how this ends. Yes. What are they doing with the tubes? Right, thank you. We went back the way we came and decided to not talk about what we had just witnessed. It was like we both subconsciously felt the words,
Starting point is 01:04:43 that words would not do it justice. We headed towards the woods at the back of the property, where the back of the property began, but unfortunately we didn't make it that far. All of a sudden we heard a rustling in the sound of footsteps. It sounded like leaves crunching and it was early spring and the grass was bare. We heard the footsteps coming out of the woods to our left and we squinted in the darkness to try to see something. We were too afraid to turn on our own flashlights. Out of nowhere, and from the right, not the left, we saw a man coming towards us.
Starting point is 01:05:15 The footsteps sounded like they were all around us now, but it was clearly just one person coming towards us from the woods. He was walking in a jerky motion, and unfortunately reminded me of the way Samara walked out of the well in the ring. No, thank you. It seemed like time unnaturally sped up, and in an instant he was right in front of us. He was stalky with dark hair and eyes that seemed not to be able to focus on us. I've never felt anything like I felt in that moment before.
Starting point is 01:05:44 It was an oppressively dark feeling, like a heavy evil burning my skin, an urgent and primal fear squeezing my heart. My legs were glued in place. I couldn't get them to move, not even slightly. It felt like the air was frozen in my lungs. The only thing I could do was think to myself, this is it, this is where I die. Whew. When the man spoke, he spoke in an otherworldly, quivering voice that echoed the scratchiness of the music we had heard only moments before. His eyes seemed to look behind us, as he said. You girls part of the acting crew? And then came the laughter.
Starting point is 01:06:21 Not from him, but from us. Nothing about this was funny. The sense of doom and fear was still suffocating, but for some reason my friend and I began to laugh at the same time. And we just kept laughing. We physically couldn't stop ourselves. The man seemed not to notice our strange reaction
Starting point is 01:06:39 at all and continued speaking. If you're not, then the park is closed. And then in an instant, our laughter stopped. Still not making eye contact, the man began to walk past us in those same jerky in human movements that brought him to us in the first place. My body was still frozen as he moved past us. And when I could finally move my body again, I turned my head and saw that he was already quite a distance away from us and another unnatural
Starting point is 01:07:05 progression of time. What the fuck? Kazeya and I looked at each other and again couldn't speak. Just started to walk in the other direction away from where that strange being had gone. What acting crew practices in an abandoned park at midnight? What play involves long purple robes and black tubing? None. Absolutely none.
Starting point is 01:07:24 That was no acting crew. Now you're probably thinking, okay, you girls definitely went home after that. Ugh, I'm so sorry. We walked around the property a little longer in silence. Almost like we had to walk off a bad dream. When we reached the first building,
Starting point is 01:07:40 we took one last picture each and then finally headed back to the car. I turned on the ignition and we sat there. Isaiah looking through the pictures as I sat staring out the front of the car. Finally, Isaiah spoke. You need to see this, she said. I took the phone. The pictures were all normal, boring even, except the last two, the ones we took after
Starting point is 01:08:01 our strange encounter. The picture of Isaiah was completely in focus, except she was a complete blur. The picture of me had red and blue lines of light swirling above me. I started to drive, I had finally had enough. As we drove back down the dirt road that had led us to Field Solo, another dark failing came over me. The CD we were listening to turned to static, and the car started jerking side to side, with no effort of mine being able to control again, with no effort of mine being able to gain control again of the steering wheel.
Starting point is 01:08:39 Isaiah started screaming, and I was finally able to put the car in neutral, then to park, and then I turned the car off. We sat there crying and praying the Hail Mary. I am not a religious person, but I am sure all my years in Catholic school had prepared me for this moment. After we prayed, I turned the key in the ignition. The CD came back on. I was able to control the car and we drove the heck out of there.
Starting point is 01:09:03 Ooh. I couldn't face going back home and seeing my dad. So we decided to sleep at Isaiah's. We were scared silent. And when we finally got to her room, we put on an episode of Sex in the City to try to get our minds off of what happened. That is the best.
Starting point is 01:09:17 That's exactly what you need to do. I remember as my eyes were finally closing, seeing her phone slide across the shelf by the TV and onto the floor. I woke the next morning. I wish I could tell you the story ends here. I apologize for its length, no need to. But it needs to be told in its entirety.
Starting point is 01:09:34 If not for any other reason, then to stand as a warning to those who met with things they shouldn't. I went back to college. I attended ECSU, a state college in the north of Connecticut. When I got back, I told my roommates and my boyfriend at the time Jimmy all about what had happened. My roommates laughed it off as another crazy carry tail, but Jimmy seemed to be more affected by it.
Starting point is 01:09:55 That night we slept in my dorm, not his, in an already too small stereotypical dorm-sized bed. Sometimes the heat would make noises that night, but the dorm was recently built. Only two years old, actually, and the noises we were hearing were not normal. It sounded like something was banging on the walls of my room. Oh, okay. Yeah, I tried to ignore it, but my heart started feeling you got to stop ignoring things. I started to ignore it, but my heart started beating faster as I saw the blinds begin to sway, especially because my window was closed.
Starting point is 01:10:25 No, thank you. I kept telling myself there was a rational explanation for it. Jimmy and I were both science majors. I get that. And he didn't seem to be too bothered by it. Or was it at least not expressing otherwise to me? I continued to lie there with my eyes closed when I felt something at the foot of the bed. It felt like something was crawling towards us.
Starting point is 01:10:43 No. Slowly but surely. Then the feeling stopped and I heard my name whispered. Gary. Gah. I opened my eyes and looked at Jimmy. What? I asked him.
Starting point is 01:10:55 He turned to me and said, I didn't fucking say that. We jumped out of bed and started hyperventilating. What the actual fuck was going on? Did something follow me back from my so-called adventure that weekend passed? Jimmy said he was going back to his dorm to sleep, but I told him I wouldn't go. I know what?
Starting point is 01:11:13 What was I thinking? I can't explain it. I felt like I needed to stay and just deal with it. He begged me, but I continued to refuse, and he left. Oh, you are wild and out here. You are. I sat in our living room on the couch.
Starting point is 01:11:26 I was too scared to even cry. This was personal. It said my name. What was I going to do? I don't know. Get out. I sat there hugging my legs to my chest until morning and finally I realized what I had to do. I got in my car and drove the two hours back home. My dad is super religious and he has told me in the past he knew priests who had performed exorcisms. I told him what was going on and he didn't yell at me like I thought he might. His expression was grave and he handed me a book off the shelf. It was all about how to perform exorcisms. I then went to my mom's. My mom was a scientist and I knew she had test tubes. This was how my terrified brain was functioning at the time. It made sense to me, I swear.
Starting point is 01:12:07 I took one from her supplies and drove to the church of my old school at my old school. When no one was looking, I dipped the test tube and filled it with the holy water you used to bless yourself when you entered and left service. I felt like some sort of weird criminals stealing holy water from a church. Is that against the rules? I don't know. I drove two hours back to my school, opened the book, and found the section where you can exercise a room.
Starting point is 01:12:30 I performed the rituals, sprinkled some of the holy water around my bed, and put the cap back on and placed my test tube in the desk drawer in case I needed to repeat the ritual. But it seemed to have worked. It seemed to have worked. After that, I didn't have another issue. Another haunting, another dark feeling overwhelming every part of my being. I felt like I could breathe again. I had won!
Starting point is 01:12:50 Months and months went by in the academic year was ending, and I was cleaning out my room for the summer. As I was emptying out my desk, I came across that test tube of holy water. I had completely forgotten about it. I picked it up in my heart skipped a beat. The holy water, once perfectly clear and godlike, had turned a murky shade of brown. The cap had a copper-like rust covering it. The cap was plastic, not metal, so there was no real explanation for this, not a scientific one at least. I knew in my heart that I had trapped whatever followed me back to college in this tube. So I opened it. What the fuck? Why would you open it like at this, but you're literally just asking for this shit.
Starting point is 01:13:34 Just kidding. I'm not that crazy. I literally didn't even get to that page yet because it's like a page separator. I was like, are you fucking kidding me? I was like, what are you doing? I was like, come on, Carrie. No, I totally threw it in the trash and that was that.
Starting point is 01:13:48 Oh my goodness. The end of my own personal haunting brought about by a self-induced venture into the unknown. I vowed to never mess with the paranormal again and fear that it would only decide to mess right back. For real. I like to think that the dark spirit and I are even now. It scared the shit out of me and now gets to spend eternity in a landfill. But there's still so many unanswered questions. What was that group of people dancing in purple robes
Starting point is 01:14:11 doing at an abandoned place at midnight? What were those black tubes? That's what I want to know. Was that man alive or something else? And lastly, why would I ever want to keep it so weird that I didn't listen to my dad and messed up something that messed back, and then it followed me to college And I literally still holy water and test you've been performed an exorcism in my dorm room man
Starting point is 01:14:30 Who said college was for studying Thanks for reading this guys and I hope you enjoyed it. We did love always and always carry. Oh carry Carried and also what a way to end that you were watching way to end that. You were watching Sex and the City and your name is Carried. Your name is Carried. Lull. That was a great way to end it. That was spoopy. That was truly amazing. That was real spoopy.
Starting point is 01:14:51 I loved that. Guys, you killed it again. Straight up killing it. And we have more. There's still more in there that I need to read. But wait, there's more. There's more. Next week we'll have to do another bonus.
Starting point is 01:15:03 We'll do another bonus episode next week, so you're just gonna keep getting three episodes and we can go to the end of spooky season. Yay. Cause it's just so fun. But you're still gonna get your regular two episodes this week, so be on the lookout for those. And we hope you enjoyed this little extra spooky time.
Starting point is 01:15:20 And we hope you keep listening. And we hope you keep it. Woo! But that's where they get eaten by shark, because I really feel like that would be a really sad interior life to do that. And that's so weird that like you know you hire a babysitter named Kirstie to watch like a lot of children and then your house gets like hacked into and like hack, hack, hack, and then you're just like I think it was the wind don't keep it that weird at all. Definitely keep it so weird that you continue to drink Mountain Dew but like do maybe question the
Starting point is 01:15:40 ingredients and definitely don't have a say on while you're mixing it with Mountain Dew because I think the nuclear horse pee would interfere with that. It's just my personal opinion. Don't keep it so weird that like you're trying to attempt the man. Also don't keep it so weird that you only name your ghosted the guy. Like come up with something better. Keep it weird. That actually definitely keep it so weird that you call somebody in the afterlife to warn them that their child has a 106 fever and they're probably going to like,
Starting point is 01:16:00 you know, get in trouble from that. And definitely keep it so weird that you're Hey, Prime members! You can listen to morbid, early, and ad-free on Amazon Music. Download the Amazon Music app today, or you can listen ad-free with Wondery Plus and Apple podcasts. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondery.com slash survey.

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.