My Therapist Ghosted Me - MTGM EXTRA! "A bit of gaslighting and a sprinkle of neglect."

Episode Date: May 15, 2024

This week, Vogue offers her house to Joanne and an emailer needs guidance on whether the sensible lad she's seeing is the right choice.If you’d like to get in touch, you can send an email to [e-mail] review Global's Privacy Policy: https://global.com/legal/privacy-policy/For merch, tour dates and more visit: www.mytherapistghostedme.comFor more information about Joanne's gigs, just visit www.joannemcnally.comThis episode contains explicit language and adult themes that may not be suitable for all listeners.Thank you!

This is a Global Player original podcast. Hello and welcome to the bonus episode of My Therapist Goes To Me with me, Vogue Williams and Joanne McNally. Vogue, how's your therapy going? I'm quite anxious at the moment, so probably not that well. I'm very anxious. I have to have the mouth guard out. I'm gnawing at my own teeth. Terribly anxious. I love the idea of Vogue in a kind of a full-blown head shield.

Yes. Like the kids had in the 80s, like a full-blown neck brace and everything. Like one of those crying in my sleep. Solid. Like when in Mean Girls,

when Regina got run over by the bus do you remember she had like a full yeah yeah yeah Amber used to have one of them that's how shut up

Amber used to have one of them because she used to suck her thumb so that's that's on Gigi's path she's gonna have to have one of them

full head brace I'd say because she sucked her thumb Amber's teeth were like just stuck outwards yeah

she was real bad Neil is Neil is so full on. Like that is so unnecessary. He used to sellotape us to the bed so we couldn't get out of bed at night when we had a nightmare. I'm joking.

I'm joking. Did you, do you thought I was serious? Nothing would surprise me. Go! That Glaswegian crime lord, like nothing would surprise me Whenever I hear go I just run

even if I'm on a sports day in front of the kids I'm like oh god go! A lot of trauma there Vogue I think Let's switch the mics off and get into it

My name is Vogue Williams from the post office and Joanne I would just like to inform you that you have two large boxes and a smaller pink package. I'm so sorry. I don't mind. I just shoved them in the hall now.

I'm like, they can live there. It's so annoying. Sorry. It's not actually that annoying. Especially when I open them, I'm like, hmm, will she notice if I ever makes it to her? Well, one of those anxious preoccupied boxes is for you, actually. Well, I feel bad because, look, here's my silver one. And now I have worn off the handles,

but it's probably because of the amount of weight. I can't believe this bag hasn't broken. I cannot. It defies the laws of gravity or whatever. Something physical. I never did physics in school, but I know that gravity or whatever. Something physical. We've changed. I never did physics in school, but I know that's not right. I understand.

I know it's not right. We've changed the recipe now because the, I mean, it's all very boring, but myself and Nikki, like went through the, so before when it scratched, underneath the silver was a different colour. So now we've changed it. So underneath the colour, anyway, whatever, it's very boring. But yes, I'll come down and collect them. Anyway, in other news I got a gift of a book

called Really Good Actually by Monica Heisey I'm going to say Heisey Heisey let us see the cover it looks bright I like a bright cover it's so funny

shut up no we can't see that now there you go oh Really Good Actually is it Really Good Actually so she's gone through a divorce so when someone asks her how she is

she's like Really Good Actually but obviously she's yeah in so she's gone through a divorce so when someone asks her how she is she's like really good actually but obviously she's yeah she's having it she's having a mental episode we will call it

but it's so funny oh my god she goes through she lists out these fantasies of like when she bumps into

her ex-husband again so it might never happen and how how good her life is and how and she's like getting fingered by Harry Styles into her ex-husband again. It might never happen. And how good her life is and how, and she's like getting fingered by Harry Styles when he comes up

and finds him on a stairwell and it's, 12 stars. Really good actually. I'm sorry, but like, I know I'm married, but I would like to be fingered

by Harry Styles. I'm beginning to think there's no one that you wouldn't get fingered by Vogue. I genuinely, like, there's no one that you wouldn't get fingered by Vogue. I genuinely, like, it's like the way you finish sentences. I honestly do not know.

There hasn't been one person we've discussed. You're like, Putin. Yeah, I get fingered by him. The list is small. And then it goes on to the next thing. Okay, it's a very small list. The list is

large and gappy. Oh no, I'm talking about the list of people that I wouldn't. Oh, sorry. The other list is like endless. It's like, it's just like how you finish conversations. You're like, let's wrap it up. You're like, that I wouldn't. Oh, sorry. The other list is like endless. It's just like how you finish conversations.

You're like, let's wrap it up. You're like, I'll get a finger with them. No worries. Anyway. I was in the middle. I said that one sentence. As I said, we have a buying agent coming over to look at our haze for his client.

That's when you know you're high end, when you've got somebody else looking at a haze for you. And as soon as they walked in the door, I said yeah get fingered by Harry Styles of course is he there? he's just left the room

Spenny walked in dripping in sweat in only shorts and we look like trash trash is what we look like but we are selling our apartments

and if anyone Joanne I was thinking to myself this place would be great for you great for you you know what inside out. You know everything about it. You love a good terrace.

You could be out there in the summer. I didn't want to say it to your face. I think it's going for above the asking price. I don't know what that means, what I said, but I've heard people saying things like that about houses. I am willing to buy your home if you subscribe to Klarna. I am willing to put some money aside every week and buy your home gradually and slowly, room by room.

I'll start with the downstairs toilet. I'll buy that. And then as you slowly move out, I'll slowly move in. Well, I think that actually, to me, that sounds completely fair. Doesn't it? I will say that to Spencer. We'll just, I suppose we'll just rent for a while then because we won't be able to buy anywhere else until you've paid off this place

I'm totally on board with that I'll just rent somewhere else and you can keep all your shit there, you can keep your gym gear I don't mind, you can keep your equipment there like your table and your gym gear, honestly I don't mind you can store it there and not just slowly use it all and pay for the housing

your kindness knows no bounds. No limits for Joanne's kindness. Thanks so much. I might just rent your place, actually. If you're not going to be using it and you'll be clarineting my place, I'll have to get out. So that suits me down to the ground.

I did find a house I loved, like completely fell in love with that would be perfect for us, but we haven't told Laura. Where are we going be perfect for us but we haven't told her where are we going perfect for us oh thank you Joanne you would have loved it I wouldn't have even known

you were there it was perfect it was in a great area I wouldn't have had to move the kids school we were going to have the time of our lives in that house

but I can't afford it because you bought my house in Clarno so I have no money to buy it. I apologize. Did you notice, right? I only noticed this today

because the sun's out and I did worry about you. I was concerned because- I didn't shave. Is that what you're saying? Because the last day when I did the pod, I did wear shorts

and I'd obviously, there was a strip of leg hair that I completely missed. I don't know how I missed it. I honestly, I missed it. Honestly, I really made an effort. But there was one very generous strip up the back of the calf. Now, I would make so much effort. I'm embarrassed. One day I shaved in the bath because I thought there's no way I'm missing anything in here. There's nothing. I cannot miss it. My knees,

I don't know what it is. It's like maybe they grow like a hundred times the speed but I will always have hairy knees there's no there's no and my thighs are hairy because I just couldn't be arsed I'm not going up

past the knee but the knees are always you're married there's no need no no no so the sun's out today and I was wearing shorts and I was wearing a shirt

and then I was really very concerned about you because I was sweating in the shirt and I thought if I'm sweating in the shirt is Joanne okay has she passed out and Clapham Common and died because it was too

hot for her and it's not even the height of summer yet Joanne I know I know and everyone's going to scream that I'm having the menopause or whatever I know I'm going to have to get a face fan you are you're going to have to get a hat with a fan that like is down on it and blows into your face I'm going to get one of those hand fans. You are. You're going to have to get a hat with a fan that like is down on it and blows into your face.

I'm going to get one of those hand fans. You wouldn't be arsehole I think you just get one that has a little fan daggling off it in your face a hat. Like the Aussies with the corkscrews. Yeah.

That's exactly what I mean. And I got the kids ice cream because the ice cream van very cleverly parked outside the kids school today so I couldn't get away with it. Had to get them each an ice cream the smallest ice cream three quid each i was gonna buy myself one and i thought you know what no i'll wait to see if any of them leave any you're so cruel to

yourself i know i was like i'll go i'll get myself some hb raspberry ripple i'll make myself a wafer sandwich and i won't even know myself, that'll cost me a pound Did we discuss Raven? No, what's Raven? So she was, I came across, just scrolling through the internet you know yourself, scrolling through the world wide web and that's how Raven was doing

a video, a statement video with her wife. And her wife had somewhere along the line in interviews said, oh, actually, I hadn't watched That's So Raven before I married Raven. And she was getting death threats and all sorts of abuse to the point where her wife and her had to put out a statement saying, like, please stop abusing us. She was like, I didn't say I didn't know who she was I just said I hadn't watched the TV show and I mean the internet

is a cesspit although I will say people are like oh the world is burning you know we've had we've had darker times like the plague and stuff

but I mean it's it just took quite turns of the mountain I know the internet can be absolutely hideous though sometimes I'm just like good god

stop it I came off Instagram for seven hours best seven hours of my life I know it really is it's lovely I came off it last summer for a while

and I just I loved it I loved every second I think it's time for us to come off it listen Joanne we're separate human beings you might be able

to tear yourself away from the internet and Instagram but I unfortunately have a deep addiction to it that cannot be controlled I need to see what people I don't know are doing I love all the animal videos that I get I really enjoy myself and sometimes yes it does make me feel very down but I refuse to give up on it yes it gives me psychosis but I want to watch a panda getting

fed on a Saturday morning and that's just the end of it. Of course I mean I cannot sleep for watching the internet. It will not let me get one single wink of sleep but it's still there for me in my hour of need which is every second of every day. Exactly it give it and it take it away. Have you seen that the baby reindeer the real baby reindeer is being interviewed by Piers Morgan so when this

by the time this pod comes out she'll have the interview the interview's actually already done but it hasn't aired it's airing at 8 o'clock

tonight Stop I hate the ethics of it I think it's disgusting but obviously I will also watch it oh my god we will but like okay

she is a grown woman and she of course Piers Morgan is going to jump on that bandwagon I don't know the psychology of someone who's accused of stalking

and we can only say allegedly it's only Richard Gad's version we don't know yeah but what I find interesting is look you know we can't diagnose anyone

with anything and it's all allegedly allegedly but I just don't think it's a great idea platforming someone who has been accused of this kind of crime it's like she doesn't feel right and also what I would love to know is why aren't they tracking down

and interviewing your man who he accused of sexual assault where's that where's that where's that piece to the story well I

I wouldn't say the guy who did that wants to be interviewed that's actually a really fair point yeah yeah I would say he's hiding

as in the deepest hole he could possibly find yeah no you're totally right I just think it's this is like the deepest hole he could possibly find. Yeah, you're totally right. I just think it's, this is like the internet eating itself. It's like an episode

of Black Mirror. It's like an episode of Black Mirror. I can't, it's like, it's so weird and gross and strange. I know,

but that's what we're like. We thrive on shit like that. It's terrible. I'm like, I'm sorry, but you know, we'll be sitting there watching it tonight.

It's terrible. I said it before and I'll say it again. It's like the modern day version of people going to the town square and watching someone getting guillotined to death. We're just obsessed with destruction, failure,

violence, crime and fucking each other off. And I've said it before and I'll say it again. You would have definitely been down the town square for those incidents. Oh my God. I would have definitely been down the town square for those

for those incidents oh my god I would have been I would have been manning the guillotine when he went to the break you're so I'm like oh you're man

the main guy he's nipped off to press I'm just I'm just going to man the guillotine now while he's gone and he want to go she's shining it up

ready for the next one she'll be like do you want a fake go? Go on. I'll bring it right down to the edge and then pull it back up. Go on for the crack.

Go on. Vogue, have we any emails? We actually do, Joanne. We have one called Snickers Lads and one called More Sister Abuse. I like Snickers. Let's go go snickers i would like to say

by the way i walked by oh god here i go again but anyway i walked by a tall gentleman and he was wearing snickers trousers but there's like a new brand a new they've updated them and i looked and i'm wearing them and i was like just looks great with the trousers on you know yeah do you know why i've looked into this why we're so the men who look like they can fix things

I mean like it's hardly rocket science it's just because they look like they would save us in an apocalypse we're just like trying to survive they do

they'd be able to do loads for you your handyman is ghosting me by the way he must have heard the podcast or something he wants nothing to do he doesn't want to

come back over is he actually ghosting you well I've tried to get him to come back loads of times. He's too busy. I know. Okay. Maybe he is actually busy, but he is replying to you.

Three weeks busy. Well, he hasn't replied in a couple of times now. But anyway, I don't know. I don't know. Maybe you've done something too annoying or maybe I have. Well, last time I spoke to him, he said he thought you were really lovely. Oh, that's nice. Okay.

Yeah. I don't know if that's true. Okay. Snickers lads. Hi, ladies. me and Joanne like the same type of fellas let's just say bit of gaslighting

and a sprinkle of neglect 100% oh yeah that neglect oh god ignore me and I'm all over you

hot just thinking about it yeah I think all girls like that if someone's too needy like yeah because I need to think that you're out of my pay grade so I work harder to get you.

That's like, it's basic gaslighting science. It happens all the time. Like the other night, right? Because the other day, Svenny kept going on about having sex that night because like he does that. And then it came to that night and he didn't make a move on me

and I was like, what the hell is going on here? Even though I was planning on turning him down, when he didn't do it, I was like, what the fuck? What is going on here even though I was planning on turning him down when he didn't do it I was like what the fuck what's going on here playing you like a little frigid fiddle two years single two years single lots of therapy later and I'm back dating avoiding the snickers fellas as much as possible. Eight dates in with a mature, eight dates is a lot. Eight dates in with a mature adult, all ducks in a row. We have one date a week

and after the date, I immediately think about going back to ride my ex just for the chaos of it all. She's hooked on the drama. Yeah. Is my life now settling for boring fellas talking about sea swims and golfing or do I just back to my scumbag era because it's exciting? Is my life now settling for boring fellas talking about sea swims and golfing?

Or do I just back to my scumbag era because it's exciting? Help a confused girl by trying to manage the dating world in her 30s. I don't know what the ethics are around the term scumbag, but... I prefer a scummer myself. If you say scummer, it doesn't feel as bad. Joe, can we have a google there please I think everyone's been a bit of a scumbag in their

time we all have a bit of a scumbag here okay if Amber's hung over and in one of her moods I'm like oh god Amber's in

a scummer mood but I think the terms used for sisters we can't assume that they're socially correct for other areas okay

you know what I mean you can't be like well I call my brother a fucking obnoxious gaslighting c*** so surely that's fine. But, what I would say is

to this woman, the heart wants what it wants and if the heart wants the Snickers, it wants the Snickers. Actually, I've just thought of something.

All those pockets. I'm hot just thinking about it. All the tools and the fucking drill and everything. Go on, good luck. What I would say is just because you've met somebody who wasn't nice, who wore Snickers trousers, we can't say that everybody who wears Snickers trousers

isn't nice because Joanne and I have met lots of Snickers trousers wearers that we are very fond of. Indeed, very fond of. Follow that spirit level. And I hope this isn't racist, but I will go from my own personal experience.

Those Snickers lads goers in the sack. I'd agree. Yeah, I can imagine so. They're always on the run. It's like you're trying to get them to finish a job. Always smell nice.

Have you seen your man on insta at the absolute ride back he hammers the horseshoes but he's all like tattooed up and ripped

have you seen him no but I will women keep sending him to me on insta and I'm like no no no I know I've seen him

I keep a close eye he's a horse man and I love horses what do you call them Jo those men who deal with horses farrier well done Jo that is I keep a close eye. He's a horse man. And I love horses. What do you call them, Joe, those men who deal with horses? Farrier. Well done, Joe.

That is the correct term. That is absolutely nowhere to know. That is. It's a farrier. Actually, what is it? Farrier. Yeah. So he hammers the little shoes and everything. No way.

Well, there is a very fit farrier on Insta that several women have shared his profile because they know I'm a skeezy gamey bitch. And I'd highly recommend if you're lonely, it's a Sunday afternoon, it's raining. The hoof guy. What's he called? The hoof guy. Sometimes I realise we're kind of becoming part of the problem.

Like we're going to get me chewed on some stage. He's wearing those little Christina Aguilera things Joanne he is right up your street wow isn't he but sadly he's not

on my street at all he's in some stable somewhere I'll find out I know some horsey people isn't he a beaut now sorry girls this is for your

single woman Sunday content if you're alone it's raining you've nowhere to go your mother hasn't rung If you're alone, it's raining, you've nowhere to go, your mother hasn't rung you, you're sad, depressed, your mouse compatible on hinge is depressing you. Genuinely, go through this lad's videos. You'll feel happy inside.

That's it for the bonus. We will see you on Friday for the main. See you later. Bye.