My Therapist Ghosted Me - MTGM EXTRA! "Am I being needy?"
Episode Date: July 3, 2024This week... Sunglasses, regifting, neediness and ethical porn!If you’d like to get in touch, you can send an email to hello@MTGMpod.comPlease review Global's Privacy Policy: https://global.com/lega...l/privacy-policy/For merch, tour dates and more visit: www.mytherapistghostedme.comFor more information about Joanne's gigs, just visit www.joannemcnally.comThis episode contains explicit language and adult themes that may not be suitable for all listeners.Thank you!
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This is a Global Player original podcast.
Hello and welcome to the bonus episode of My Therapist Ghosted Me with me,
Boag Williams and Joanne McNally.
I'm coming to you live from Clapham Common.
And I am coming live from Batter Z, as Joanne likes to call it.
Did I tell you I'm on a shopping ban?
No.
Yeah.
So I do this every so often when I feel guilty.
And I bought a couple of pairs of sunglasses.
You know, the scuba ones that you loved.
Sorry, can I just say, I didn't realize.
I was sneaking around in my own DMs yesterday.
And I got sent.
There's a woman who,
all she does is send me photos of you
wearing your sunglasses
with loads of laughing emojis.
I didn't realise me and her
are obviously in cahoots about your sunglasses.
I haven't actually replied to any of them.
So I'm like, I'm not comfortable.
I travel out to her face.
I'm not comfortable doing it behind her back.
She doesn't bitch about me behind my back and that is very true. No, only to her face I'm not comfortable Doing it behind her back She doesn't bitch about me Behind my back
And that is very true
No only to your face
But I do have a
A weird like
Love of scuba style
Glasses
Like it looks like
I could go scuba diving
In them
I just love
Huge glasses
And I bought two pairs
Of like pretty
Spenny sunglasses
And now I've decided
I'm on a shopping ban
For over a month
Yes
Well fair enough Yeah That's fair And I'm very happy With ban for over a month Yes Well fair enough yeah
That's fair
And I'm very happy with myself
I nearly bought some yesterday and I said no
You're on a shopping ban
I don't actually need anything
I just needed the glasses
But then I found a pair of Celine glasses
In my house
And I didn't know who owned them
And I wore them out not knowing who owned them
And you loved them too
I loved them
When the band's over
the glasses are coming home. The cat eyes.
I just, you know my relationship with sunglasses. There's
just no point. Did I tell you
did I tell you I drunkenly gave
these sunglasses to my mother? Did I tell you about that?
You didn't take them back.
I took them back. That is
that is
so
bad.
That's who I am
I am who I am
I basically
Drunkenly
My mother
I lost these sunglasses
In my mother's house
She must have been so happy
She was delighted
She was wearing them
Inside the house
Outside the house
To golf
I was like
You're kind of
You're kind of heckling me now
Because
Basically
I got these
They're Tom Ford
I'm wearing them on the
Bowness just in case
Vogue tries to make me
Feel or something today
And I'm not
I'm not prepared
And
Tom Ford got them in TK Maxx
Obviously for like
A fraction of the cast
Did you
You do well
Yes
No but you do
You have an unusual
Activity in TK Maxx
Whenever you go in
You find gold
Well when you go in
Three times a day
Every day
Eventually something
Will fall out of the rack
Like I survey that place
My mum goes in there
Like if we go to Soares
This little area
In Dublin
They have a big
TK Maxx out there
You'd lose her to that place
For three hours
Yeah
So anyway mum had
The glasses on
And she was really
Rubbing it in my face
I felt
And I was like
Give us another go
With them
And I had them on
She goes Do you want them back love If you want them back And I was like, God, they, I said, give us another go then, I had them on. She goes,
do you want them back,
love,
if you want them back?
And I was like,
no,
not at all,
don't want them back.
I just stopped,
couldn't do that yet.
By the fourth time she said it,
I was like,
go on,
so,
go on.
Go on,
you don't actually want them.
You don't even go inside.
Even though you haven't even taken them off,
you don't want them.
You've cataracts,
that's all the protection you need.
The sun can't get past them anyway,
you don't need sunglasses
I do that
You should meet Tom Ford once
I do that when I
You shouldn't meet Tom Ford once now
If I'm honest with you
I'm glad you got them on sale
Because we told you
That you were banned
From expensive sunglasses
I will never buy
A pair of expensive sunglasses again
As long as I live
My heart is broken
Now obviously I'm aware
That there's a lot more
Important things going on
In the world
But my heart is broken At the amount'm aware That there's a lot more Important things going on In the world But my heart is broken
At the amount of
Expensive sunglasses
I've lost
I actually couldn't
Think about it
It'd make me cry
You and Spencer
Are in the same box
With that
Like I have two pairs
Of his sunglasses downstairs
And I've worn them
The odd time
And he's like
They're mine
And I'm like yeah
Well I took them
Because I liked them
And I knew that you'd lose them
So you don't deserve them
They're now mine
Also can we just
Can we actually just have
A brief conversation about
Who
The fuck
Do these designers think they are
Charging 400 pounds for a pair of swimming gloves
Like
Are you well in the head
And who the fuck
Are we paying for it
What's
It's like a mental illness in society
I love a shade though
You know I love a shade
I'm like Pitbull
I wear them all the time
At night time
At day time
I get there I really get the cost I wear them all the time, at night time, at day time. I get there.
I really get the cost per wear of the
shades, I feel. There's certain stuff
you're like, yeah, I don't know.
Yeah, I just think someone's high.
Someone in Balenciaga's on drugs.
Sorry, Balenciaga. Right, wait till I tell you
this story. I met a man
in a beach bar, actually, and he was wearing
these amazing sunglasses and I was like, fab,
I'm going to get them them Balenciaga are practically free
Compared to these sunglasses
What?
Two and a half grand
For a pair
I thought he must be
Completely insane
Insane
Insanely loaded I would say
If I spent two and a half grand
On a pair of sunglasses
I'd have them surgically attached
To my
I'd literally go in
To a plastic surgeon
And be like
I don't know what you need to do
Just nail these
Into the side of my head
Because
Imagine
That's like a fucking
You could get a car
For two and a half grand
Two and a half grand
For a pair of sunglasses
I'd be like
Glue me into the car
And glue the glasses
Onto my face
I should have just
Followed him around
And waited till he
Put them down
And done a little
Five finger discount
For myself
You sure
Of course you should
Have little Velcro hands
Sonny Slurp I do that though
When I do clothes
Clear outs
And Amber might be
Wearing something
And I'm like
Give me that back
Why are you wearing that
And she's like
No
You put that in a clear out
I forget that I put it
In a clear out
And then I'm raging
When I see how good
Someone looks in it
And I want it back
I have a woman
Who comes to clean the house
Jennifer is her name
She's absolutely sound
She's Portuguese
Have I told you about Jennifer?
Poor Jennifer.
Poor Jennifer.
Do you remember?
Do you remember?
She's Portuguese.
She speaks no English, but she is the love of my life.
She's changed my life completely.
And it's like, do you remember in love actually when Colin Firth went to Portugal to write
his book and him and his cleaner fell in love and they didn't speak the same language?
That's me and Jennifer basically, right?
But anyway
So I give her
I give her bits and bobs
I give her like
Cosmetics and clothes
And stuff
And I did a big clear out
Of clothes
Like I have two bags
Of clothes
The other day
And she turned up
Anyway yesterday
Wearing a pair of runners
That I put in the bag
And I was like
Fuck
Now that I've seen them again
I know they actually
Look really good
Jennifer leaves barefoot
I'm like I've actually I've changed my mind I know they actually look really good
I'm like I've actually
I've changed my mind Jennifer
Sorry now
I forgot about those little Nike beauties
Don't be giving
I'm sorry don't be giving
I'm first dibs on your bags
That's the rules between us Joanne
There's three bags
Gone to second row
For sale for
Uni South Ireland
Oh I would like to say by the way you got any you got
a letter i'm sorry i opened it i thought it was for me because i do stuff for unicef as well but
i opened the letter and uh and they were that's what my mother says for your large says you gave
a very large donation to unicef very large i was like oh that's very kind of joanne so i thought
i'd announce it on the pod for you because i've lost the letter But well done they did thank you
You did not lose the letter did you
It's somewhere I just don't know where
I fucking never do anything good
And the one time I do it and it's marked
And you've lost the proof
And it was a real decent amount of money as well
I was like wow
Sorry one last thing on gifts
Have I ever told you About my auntie Naomi
Yeah all the time
Well Naomi is
So I love giving her gifts
But she's so unappreciative
Because no matter
What you give her
She will re-gift
I'd given her
An Aspinal bag
For Christmas
Like an Aspinal bag
That she would love
God you're very generous
She's one of my
Favourite aunties
And then I found out
She'd only gone
And given it to the raffle
Down at the golf club
I said no
Ah here
Can I be one of your
Favourite aunties
Yeah
I'd love an Aspinal bag
You're very similar
To Gina now
I have to say
You and Gina
Are cut from the same cloth
We are cut from the same cloth
Yeah
It's kind of a
Weird cloth isn't it There's cloth It's kind of a weird cloth isn't it
There's many people
Uneven cloth
Yeah
Kind of a tie dye
A dirty little rag
Anyway
Have we any emails or anything
We certainly do have some emails
I will give you some options now
Okay
One I feel so needy
Two
Thoughts on porn
Well, I
I love, let's go with neediness
We always talk about porn
I know, we might get both in because you know I love
You know my thoughts on porn
Yeah, but we all know your thoughts on porn
You're like raising Awareness for porn
But I can tell you now
The porn industry
Is absolutely fine
And I
Excuse me
By the way
I would like to tell you
I actually
My porn
My porn viewing
Has gone down
A little lot
I've just come to the window
Completely naked
He only
Bye
He only likes to run around
Naked now
Wouldn't you love that
It'd be lovely
The freedom
Particularly for you
In this weather
I did a couple of pods yesterday
And I was like
I will be in a sarong
You can either
Leave your camera
You can ask me
To turn the camera off
If you so wish
But I will be topless
And in a sarong
Do with that what you will
You need to just get a little fan
When you're doing the pods
Jeez
But you see
It interrupts with the sound
Anyway
I like a bit
I like a bit of neediness
Okay
As in I like
Yeah
Hey Vogue and Joanne
I'm having a real crisis
Of confidence at the moment
And I need you to give me a slap
And tell me to get over myself
I've recently had some big
Fallings out in my family
And nobody is talking
To each other
Oh
It's horrible because
We're usually so close
Anyway there's a whole other story that
would be way too long and personal the point is that i've really needed the support of my boyfriend
for context we've been together four years and living together for a year i'd normally spend at
least two or three days a week around my family but now he's my company seven days a week unless
i'm with friends okay that's a lot that is a lot um basically i feel like he's not really stepping up
and to be honest he's becoming more distant and the more i reach out for him if i get upset about
the family stuff it's like he's comforting a stranger on a bus rather than his actual
girlfriend of four years i asked him why he's not being more supportive and he said it's just a lot
then after 10 minutes of silence he, do you want to have sex?
Okay.
Yeah.
Is Spencer going out with you behind my back?
Spencer?
Spencer?
Where have you been these last...
What a twist to the tale.
He has been rather busy this past week.
Where have you been these last... What a twist to the tale.
He has been rather busy this past week.
Why the fuck does he not just get that I need him to be nice and be on my side?
Or am I just being a needy bitch?
I think...
I think needing someone's company seven days a week is a lot.
And that's coming from even me.
I'm not even that needy.
Hoon DP.
I went out with a guy
Once who
Never ever required
Any time alone
Never
Not a second
Unless he was
Unconscious
He was happy to be around
Me or someone
And I
Found it difficult
It's too much
And also
Do you know what
I don't know what this
I don't know what
I don't know what this woman
Is going through
It sounds like she's got
Some very serious issues
Going on
And she needs more
From this
Partner of hers
But it doesn't sound like
He has it to give
I don't think
I don't think
I think with
With anyone
It can sometimes
Become a little bit too much
Like I remember
A friend of mine
Broke up with somebody
And for three months
Solid
Every conversation
Just had to be about that everything
was turned into that and like I remember when I got pregnant and I was like oh I'm pregnant it
was like oh well done back to this thing and I was just like oh my god after three months I was like
listen you're gonna have to like remember that other people exist here not just you
and the person you've broken up with we can't be doing this the whole time I know, there's a lot of funny memes
On the internet
In my news source
Where they're talking about holding space
For your friend who needs to go through
With a fine tooth comb
At the break with their relationship
Over and over and over and over
And over again
I've been guilty of it myself
It's allowed for a certain period of time
You give somebody a grace period
That's allowed
I remember one of my very good friends
She's a nurse
When I was riddled with bulimia
And I was telling everyone about it
Because I was just starting treatment
And I was delighted with my new
Well my new role I guess
As a mental patient
And she pulled me aside And again I was maybe about three months in To me just enjoying my new Role I guess as a mental patient And she pulled me aside and
Again it was maybe like three months in to
Me just enjoying my new status as a
Bulimic an open bulimic
Like publicly telling people about it and she went
People are only sympathetic for so long
And then you have to fucking power
On you just have to move on to the next stage
Which in my case was fucking
Getting better but look I don't mean
To say I don't know how I don't know what this woman is going through
I don't know how long it's been going on
I mean I'd like to say this man needs to up his game
But maybe it's a bit of both
Maybe they need to meet in the middle
Where she's like okay look maybe I am asking for too much
Is it too much
Do you want me to pull back
But then again shouldn't he just be there for her all the time
I mean seven days a week is a lot
And also men use
sex as something like that they think they're being kind like last night i was like to spenny
he was like do you want to watch something and it was half nine and i'm quite anxious at the moment
so i was like no i have to go to bed i'm gonna read my book and like that's how i'm trying to
get myself to just not be anxious and he was like oh darling if you want to not be anxious i could
come in and sort you out and i'm like that's not going to make me not anxious but he genuinely
thinks that that
will make me happy
he's like I'll do
you a solid
I will penetrate
you just to relax
you if you so wish
darling
I was talking to
another friend of mine
About
We were talking about just
Fucking life and men
Life in general and men
And all that jazz
And
Sometimes how you react
In situations
Is actually
I mean
Why am I acting like I'm Freud
It's maybe there's something else
Going on
Maybe there's a deeper issue here
Yeah
I don't know
I just think to
Like I think it would be a lot For somebody to take on For seven days a week yeah I don't know I just think to like
I think it would be
a lot for somebody
to take on
for seven days a week
if you fall out
with your family
which I think is
probably the worst thing ever
like I'd hate that
and I know that like
if I have a fight
with Amber
like I'll rant on
about it for ages
but it does come to a point
where people are like
okay we've heard it
like we've heard it
not everyone is
clearly as emotionally
intelligent as some of us
some people just can't handle intimacy, stress.
What am I saying, Vogue?
You're saying that maybe like give your boyfriend a little,
you might be being a little bit needy and you have to like,
I think you're going to have to reach out to your friends as well.
Spread the load.
Spread the load.
That's actually great advice if your
boyfriend isn't up to this load spread it but you ever find out you know when you break up with
somebody and you're literally like you were on how you don't drive yourself insane but you can't
stop it's the same conversation over and over and you'll do it with as many people as
humanly possible as many people as will listen you'll constantly talk about it and that's just
the way people are do you remember that episode of sex in the city when sarah jessica parker
um she'd broken up a big and she there was like a collage of her having the same conversation with
every single one of the girls and then in the end and she was like and he's the best thing that ever
happened to him
And he's got nothing now
And blah blah blah
And then they all just were like
You need to go to a fucking therapist
We cannot listen to this anymore
Oh god
And that's a good friend
To let you know about that
Yeah I had a friend
Who when I was going to
One of my many breakups
And could talk about
Nothing else
Except I was just like
Completely devastated by it
One friend
She's just like
She's just like She's just like
The calls
She just stopped answering them
And do you know
When you're like
Fair enough
Like fair
Yeah
You know
Next
I've literally
Burned the ear off her
Oh well
Yeah
I'll ring that girl
I was in primary school with
I haven't seen her in six years
But she's on Facebook
At the moment
So she's obviously awake
I'm actually
I started
It's been 15 years come here did you
hear i broke up with sam oh you don't know sam okay let me tell i'll tell you through from the
start i'll go it's don't worry it's not it's not gonna take up too much of your time don't worry
i was i'm reading rachel's holiday at the moment to my in keys because um i started with her newest
book and then everyone was like rachel's holiday is amazing and the same in that book there's this
uh i don't give too much away but she keeps going on about the fella
and she's telling all these people about the fella,
about what a narcissist he is
and making up all these lies about him as well.
And she's like, I know that's not true, but I don't care.
Everyone's listening.
Everyone's hanging on my every word.
Like you can't,
I suppose we're all kind of narcissistic in that way
because we're like, oh yeah, yeah.
A hundred percent.
You want to be validated.
Like what I've learned in my old age,
now that I'm in my forts A woman in my 40s
Is that
I'm nearly in my 40s
Ah
Vogue
As your older
Wiser friend
It's brilliant
Let me just tell you
It's a fucking
Great stage of life
Okay good
I'm excited
It's a great stage of life
But
Oh yeah
When I look back
On relationships now
where I'm like,
and he did this,
and he was like,
well, we all play a part ourselves.
There's a certain amount of accountability
that we, like, I still,
we're completely going off topic,
this poor woman.
What have we told her?
But it's,
we said spread the load.
We did answer.
We did say spread the load.
But I think with, like,
you become so obsessed by it
And actually you forget that
Like
There's
There's one side of the story
There's another side of the story
And then there's the truth
So like
You're both bullshitters
And like
Someone knows
Something of the truth
But neither of you
Are really telling it
Yeah
You need
This woman needs to find
A new coffee shop
Start kind of
Infiltrating people down there
Oh my god
In work Start telling people in work Your woes Spread the load Find a new coffee shop start kind of infiltrating people down there oh my god
in work
start telling people
in work your woes
spread the load
find
find new friends
as well
yeah when you run out
when you're
throw out the net
get sick of your shit
get new ones
join crossfit
Barry's boot camp
something like that
I was at Gigi's
tea party
for her new school
because she's gone to
big school in
in September
it's called reception over here it's called baby infants
at home but I was
there and the principal of that part
of the school was like say it because
you meet all the parents and it's like
what you don't understand is you are going to be
together for the next nine
years and I was like oh my god that's so
true
nine years so I'm going to get new friends we have a little minute we might as well do the last email go on Nine years. And I was like, oh my God, that's so true. Yeah. Nine years.
So I'm going to get new friends.
We have a little minute.
We might as well do the last email.
Go on.
Thoughts on porn.
Girls, this needs to be said with love.
We all know and love Vuj's obsession with her favorite website.
Oh my God.
They're actually talking about it.
Oh my God.
We're talking.
Okay.
Listen, I would just like to say like i'm only joking i'm
not looking at porn all day every day jesus christ um i just wanted to flag some other female focused
ethical and way hotter porn providers i'm scared about actually naming specific examples because
people will come for you whatever you say these days but i'm telling you ladies do a bit of
googling i read that as got dogging for a second isn't that what is wrong with you i don't know are you taking testosterone
yeah my balls have gotten tiny
obviously paying for pornography means that the performers are more likely to get a better deal
but it is possible to find less problematic porn sites than the big one that are also free.
We all love a good paw,
but imagine adding the satisfaction of knowing
you're getting the big O
and avoiding the exploitation of people in the porn industry.
Please keep me anonymous.
Well, you haven't told us what we're meant to be Googling.
Oh, I think she's...
Amy Schumer had a great joke about female-focused porn.
It was female porn
Female focused porn and she goes oh so I guess it's just
A headboard going in and out
That's very funny
Okay so this woman is saying
We need to get more ethical about our porn consumption
Well we need to go to some other
Sites or something there's obviously different sites
That we should be using
Yeah I think with porn I mean it's always going to be there to some other sites or something there's obviously different sites that we should be using yeah
I think with porn
like I mean
it's always going to be there
and I understand
what you're saying
around porn
but what I will say
is I think that you need
to be careful about it
with kids
and growing up
and what they think
sex is
when it's actually
not what it is
in porn
yes
make sure your kids
are watching ethical porn
is that what you're saying folk
it's a great lesson
I think that's it for this week we've solved porn oh yeah okay well Make sure your kids are watching ethical porn. Is that what you're saying, Vogue? It's a great lesson.
I think that's it for this week.
We've solved porn.
Oh yeah, okay.
Well, on that note, yes, we have solved porn.
So thank you so much.
FYI.
That means for your information.
For your information.
Me and Vogue and me are going to America.
I will be in America for the whole of October.
I'll be in places like Denver and Portland and Austin.
You're in Seattle?
I'm in Seattle.
Do you know why I'm going to Seattle?
Because it's green and like Ireland?
No, it's because it's greater.
Oh.
Washington, D.C., Nashville, Tennessee, Tennessee Dallas and Austin Austin Austin
Austin Austin
Austin Texas
all tickets are
available on
drama.com and
then in the middle
of that I'm going
to nip over and
meet Vogue and
we're going to do
New York Boston
live therapist goes
to me and then
over to Toronto
yes and that's
on my therapist
goes to me.com.