My Therapist Ghosted Me - MTGM EXTRA! "He uses webcam sites..."

Episode Date: June 26, 2024

It's a tough one on the email this week. Where's the line?! Plus, Vogue messed up on Gigi's party and Joanne throws down the gauntlet for an Uber-off. If you’d like to get in touch, you can send an email to [e-mail] review Global's Privacy Policy: https://global.com/legal/privacy-policy/For merch, tour dates and more visit: www.mytherapistghostedme.comFor more information about Joanne's gigs, just visit www.joannemcnally.comThis episode contains explicit language and adult themes that may not be suitable for all listeners.Thank you!

This is a Global Player Original Podcast. Hiya! Hi Laura! How are you? Frankly, you're lucky I'm here. I snoozed. Okay, I've done some weird phone settings. I'm not sure what I've done.

But basically, for some reason, my snooze glitched. And I, to say, I took a... What are the tablets I like? Melatonin. Yes. I'm so glad you didn't list off something embarrassing there. Melatonin. I'm glad I went through for half an hour.

Joanne just sprays a bit of magnesium spray on her feet before bed, that's all it takes for her Just a little bit of cat in the evening Just to take me to the next layer A magnesium rub

a bit of CBD oil and sometimes she pops a diurelite so she doesn't get thirsty during her sleep Just a a bit of CBD oil. And sometimes she pops a diurelite so she doesn't get thirsty during her sleep. Just a little bit of cocoa powder. What do they call it? A little bit of hot chocolate. A bit of an Ovaltine for Joanne. What?

Ovaltine. We got there in the end. That's what I take. It's Ovaltine. Anyway, these magnesiums or whatever they are fucking very strong and I snoozed until my alarm started screaming

at me at 9.49 or something and I was like ahhh you know and I completely panicked and I'm on here and should nobody hear you

lazy bastards I've been sitting here for four minutes did I tell you about that murder well no I don't think so well supposedly

there was a man found in a van just near where we live, murdered. There you go. God love him. Keep it light. Morning. Happy Thursday. Does that mean there's going to be kind of a crime scene outside your house for a little bit? Well, what I was thinking, no, there wasn't.

I don't actually know what happened. But there is people, right? There's two boys that come along. Well, they could be girls. But I tend to blame boys before I blame girls. But they come along

on bikes and they robbed Ruth Rose's photography stuff. She ran in to get something and by the time she'd gone back, they'd smashed her windows in

and robbed something. Did you see the video of the guy cycling past taking the phone out of your one's hand? No. It was in the news. So basically there's all

this kind of kind of I don't know story I'd say at the moment about how people's phones are getting robbed and then when they track them they're in China

so they're being sent to China because it's really hard to sell stolen phones in the UK now because there's such kind of high security. Because you can track them. Well they're just sent to China because it's really hard to sell stolen phones in the UK now because there's such kind of high security. Because you can track them. Well, they're just making

it really difficult and it's like highly illegal now and stuff. So they're selling them all to China. There's this huge big business of these lads. There's huge big crime rings

now stealing phones. But he went up, there's a video, you should look at it. She's just rocking down the street. She's holding her phone and it's not like she's holding, do you know how sometimes

you see tourists in Leicester Square or whatever holding their iPad up to get photos or they're using the maps and you're like, are you,

like I'd rob that. You're like, it's so easy. Like you're literally offering it out to strangers. It's like they're holding it up across above their head walking around.

But she wasn't like that. She was, she was being quite protective of her phone and this lad again could have been a woman

but it was a boy yeah it's always a boy I mean we can be PC here but it was clearly visibly a male and

he came up and just robbed the phone out of her hand so quickly and with I was going to say such elegance

which probably isn't the right way to describe it so chic and it was gone and he was gone and that was it and then her phone

ended up in China and a particular road in China like they know where they're going to this factory and then they're kind of unlocking them

and selling them on to the Chinese yeah that's the news that's the goss that happened to me when I was walking along the road

when I used to live in Angel and I was on my phone just chatting away and then me when I was walking along the road when I used to live in Angel and I was on my phone just chatting away and then two guys came up on a motorbike and I swear to God, my hand was still up to my face.

They were so quick. I was like, I nearly did. And I was also talking to somebody I shouldn't have been talking to. And I was like, oh no, oh God.

Just to make it worse. I was like, I hope that phone's going to China or I'm screwed now I'm like who were you talking to maybe it's sexy bait it's like a game where they steal the phone you chase it to their house and

then they're there naked in the pool oh that doesn't sound terrifying at all yeah no you're right that's not great well i woke up this morning um really weirdly early i don't know why i went to bed too early i think and i was gonna go out for a run and then i thought you know i'm not gonna go out i'm not gonna go for a run it's too I thought, you know what? I'm not going to go out. I'm not going to go for a run. It's too early. I'm too scared of people, even though it was bright. Oh, really? Would you be nervous? Well, I suppose there's been a murder quite close to you.

I think when that happens, it kind of puts a fresh security issue in your head. Maybe. Murder on the mind. Too early to be going running in Battersea Park. I don't even know if the gates are open at that time anyway. So I went into, so it's coming to the end of school so I have to buy the kids' teachers

presents. And like, because she's finishing nursery, I was like, I'll buy them a nice present. So I went, not that I don't buy nice presents, but this was just nicer.

I went into Space NK. Have you ever been in there? Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That place is on have you been Joe you wouldn't really care would you

I don't know what it is mate but I'm googling it now oh my god it's like they have the best brands in the whole I spent I spent an hour

in Space NK yesterday and I was I was only going into by Vatures and I left with a bag of stuff it's like and when I was in there

I was like Joanne would love this Joanne would love this Joanne would love this I love this I don't think you should ever go in there if you like areanne would love this Joanne would love this I love this I don't think you should ever go in there if you like

are saving money or on any kind of shopping van I wish we'd asked Jo to guess what Space NK was because there's no way you'd have guessed no yeah yeah

I assumed it was something to do with Elon Musk but it's well so no shade to Space NK but they do tend to

run a little high on the costs well the brands that they have in there are pretty spenny brands but there's like I wanted I wanted one of everything

and you know that have you ever used that bum bum cream I got bum bum cream sold at Gennaro Gennaro? sold at Gennaro oh

I hear I know I know yeah I'm aware of the brand it's beautifully branded and I'm aware Of the brand It's beautifully branded And I'm aware of it And apparently

It makes your bum rock hard Is that true? Rock hard And I walked around I walked around Smelling like pistachio Show us the bum That was

It was more like a joke Okay she's getting it out Any fucking excuse Yeah Okay about Excuse me? Looks great Hard as a rock

and twice the size yeah it's lifted it's certainly lifted I mean at the lift oh sorry twice the size can we go back to twice the size I'm thrilled

I've been really working on it that's the bum bum cream there you go no surgery needed I went around smelling like pistachio I smelt like a 25 year old goddess on the beach. That's what I smelled like yesterday.

Rio de Janeiro. No, Sol de Janeiro. Are we plugging this or are you just genuinely mad for it? No, we're not plugging it. She keeps naming the brand. It's like the Truman Show. I like to wake up with some Nescafe. What? I like to wake up with some Nescafe what?

you know the way people are quite flippant about the whole ADHD thing and it's very funny some of the memes going around there was one going around where a woman was like

oh I was kind of getting jiggy with some lad in a bedroom and I went I left the room for a second and forgot he was in there and just started like doing bits around the kitchen and she left him in there

and I posted because it really made me laugh and she left him in there and I posted it because it really made me laugh and a girl DM'd me saying like her sister has ADHD like genuinely has it and her sister dropped her she was going to stay over

in her sister's house one night so her sister dropped her to hers to get pyjamas and she went in and the sister forgot while she was there and drove off your one comes out

with her overnight bag and the sister's packing her own flat just sitting there so we are going we're continuing our tour we're going to Boston

New York and Toronto and we are going to be there 10th, 11th, 12th we're going to be in Boston, New York and Toronto yes

doing Ghosted Live and we're thrilled to be in Boston, New York and Toronto. Yes, doing Ghosted Live. And we're thrilled. The Americas. The Americas. And all the tickets are available on mytherapistghosttome.com. You'll never believe what I fucked up so bad. So bad. She's birthday.

I'm having a birthday party for her on Saturday because she's away in July when it's her birthday. She never gets to have a party. So I do one before. I've organized everything. We're going to Purple Dragon. She's gone to Purple Dragon, obviously, for the party. No, I mean, it sounds like she's going on a girl's holiday without you. We're like, I've organized everything.

Obviously, I've organized like the presents for the party bags. Like we're going to Purple Dragon. Hadn't invited a single soul until last night i completely forgot to invite anyone i'd done everything else i've even got her party dress i've got the cake topper no guests no one like luckily theodore and otto are free i know that but like a few of her friends have gotten back so she might have like four or five people there thank god

but I couldn't believe it it's on Saturday morning and I forgot to invite anyone so if you were wondering why you hadn't been invited Joanne and Jo

now you know I forgot well well it sounds like you've have it sounds like you've now remembered and invited people

yet me and Jo remain uninvited okay I didn't want to be bad, but Gigi specifically said she didn't want you guys to go. Okay, okay. Only Jo can join. You can come to PD.

I'll see you there. Don't worry. We've got cake. We're doing a Mediterranean spread. It's the weekend. I'll obviously be in Purple Dragon anyway, so I'll see you there. Oh, crap.

I forgot you've got swimming lessons at two you've got swimming lessons at two is it exactly exactly okay I'll be splashing around in there

of my own volition and if you guys happen to be there I'll knock by for some cake perfect we'll see you there right

yeah well I might see you there I might not I have other friends in Purple Dragon I'll see how I go did you book in on the cooking class or are you doing the painting and arts and crafts I'm doing Yeah, Graham. Well, I might see you there. I might not. I have other friends in Purple Dragon. I'll see how I go. Did you book in on the cooking class or are you doing the painting

and arts and crafts? I'm doing paper mache from two to four. Anyway, folks, it's none of your business what I do in Purple Dragon. It's private what I do down there. I'm just trying to improve myself

as a person, physically and mentally. I'd love to take you to Purple Dragon. I just pop out of the ball pit. I'm like, hey bitch, what are you doing here? I just walk by and you're on a trampoline.

Just getting the steps in with the leg weights on. Okay, that's great then. At least I've got another person on the list Thank you very much And Gigi would like anything princess related She's got a little wish list Has she?

I'll shoot you over the email With the registry okay And don't be put off By my bank details The only reason it's my bank details Is because she doesn't have an account That you know of that you know of I'd say Gigi most certainly has some sort of offshore account for herself I've no doubt in my mind oh my god how's she affording all those wigs

I I had to I walk her to school and we're trying she's nearly four obviously so she has to start like walking or scooting or doing something because she only wants to sit in the back of the buggy and I'm like we could get

we get 20 meters from the house and she's like I'm so tired and I'm like you physically couldn't be tired so I had to walk the whole way to Steve's school with her like screaming

crying behind me and I'm like I am not giving into this bullshit she's she's such a she's such a little princess I love us I went I went in yesterday morning to breakfast and um and Theodore and Gigi were sitting there bawling crying and Otto was just sitting there happy as Larry and I was like what is going on Otto had bitten Theodore so he was crying and then he scratched Gigi so she was crying and Otto was just sitting there happy as Larry and I was like what is going on? Otto had bitten Theodore so he was crying and then he scratched. She was crying and Otto was just sitting there

absolutely thrilled. So he owns this house now. He's moving into his evil era. I love it. I might start hanging out with him. He's ready for you. I think he's ready. I think he's maturing into something nice and evil. I love it.

I had an idea, Vogue, for you to maybe up your Uber rating. Okay. I'm sorry, I will say it again. I'm a tipper and I'm a talker and if that doesn't work for people,

I don't know what will. Well, it clearly doesn't. So I think it's time to revisit. So I heard you're down to 2.4 now. That's what I heard. That's what's on the Uber. That's what's on the Uber boards. Do you know what I think we should do right now?

You and I. I think we should have an Uber off. We haven't done one in a long time. Would you like to have an Uber off? Okay. Okay. I can't imagine. And how do you find what your ratings are? Yeah, no, I can see

mine. I've clicked all the way through. I'm clicked. Okay, well, what did you get? 4. 72. I'm not happy to just stop there because, right, I'm 4.50 but when you go on a digital

drive... Oh my god, how are they even collecting you still? stop there because right I'm 4.50 but when you go on a deeper dive oh my god how are they even collecting you still that's that's really bad hang on I'm going to the deeper dive because you are gonna be sick with yourself when we go on a deeper dive you just wait because I obviously get more

ubers than you what are we looking for we're looking because I have loads of five star ratings and I want to fucking prove this to you. I just have so many rides. I have had 1,019 trips and I have 395 five-star ratings. How many do you have? 442.

That's a lie. It's just not true. Oh dear. Show me yours right now. Oh no. Oh dear. She's awful in taxis. I have 19 one stars. That's quite high. I have 31 one stars.

I'm actually, no, do you know what? I'm cancelling the app. I'm not doing it anymore. I'm not going on Uber ever again. Seeing the stats just in black and white and yellow there,

it's quite jarring, isn't it? I'm actually so disgusted by this. That's a real shit start to the day. This is like stand-up. All I'm going to see now

are those 19 one stars. I had 19 shit gigs in an Uber. What happened there? I'll tell you what happened, right? You just have to think about it this way.

Those were the 19 times you probably had your best time in the Uber when you'd had a few drinks you were maybe singing like so don't worry about it you look at those 19 stars like 19 good times

for you and yourself this all started with me saying I was I had an idea for you to up your rating okay well I've no interest

because now I've deleted the account well I got an Uber the other day down to a gig and your man, he was so lovely and he was trying to engage in conversation and I actually had to say, I'm so sorry. I actually, I was writing notes to do, I was doing a work in progress and he's like, no problem, no problem.

Because I was like, I just have to try and remember all this stuff. He's like, no worries. But he was obviously kind of like, it's rare that they kind of chat to you. Anyway, then when I left, he took out a little box of roses and you got to pick a sweet and I was like oh my god this is a

straight five stars I was like I'd give you 15 if I could and I was like wouldn't that be nice Vogue if you just gave out little treats at the end of the ride maybe

little fairy pods or something maybe okay I'll bring some fairy scent boosters everyone loves a scent booster that's it I'll bring some scent boosters yeah just like confess you just throw it on them and then leave just throw it around the car yeah I'll bring some fairy scent boosters everyone loves a scent booster that's it I'll bring some scent boosters yeah just like confess

you just throw it on them and then leave just throw it around the car yeah I'll be like don't worry about it your car's gonna free scent boosters Vogue Williams

five stars girls I need your thoughts so my boyfriend watches porn big deal so does Vogue Williams for crying out loud

indeed recently So my boyfriend watches porn. Big deal. So does Vogue Williams for crying out loud. Indeed. Recently. What? That's suggesting like that you're like an asexual eunuch. They're like even Vogue watches porn. I mean, if she's doing it, how could anyone else to be expected not to do it?

I look like a clean living gal. I don't look like a gaping assholes kind of gal, but here we are. Go on. Recently, my boyfriend has been open with me that he also visits live webcam sites, which I feel weird about. Interesting. Okay. Yeah. Okay. It's one thing if he's just watching normal porn, but knowing that he can interact with a live model while he masturbates feels a bit much. Knowing that he can interact with a live model while he masturbates feels a bit much. We have a normal sex life and if anything, I'm happy he watches porn because he has more of a sex drive and it means I don't have to turn him down or worse, have sex with him when I'm really not into it. But this feels like a step too far.

Am I being too prude? I don't like that at all. I wouldn't even like one of the little VR headsets. I even think that's going too far. I just think it's like, come on. And where does it lead to from then?

My take on this is there's a lot of, she used normal a lot of times, well twice I think, and I don't think you can apply normal to sex or porn I think it's every man

to themselves and also this is my take on it now sometimes what you don't know can't hurt you and I think trying to police a person's

pornographic usage they're going to do what they're going to do if you stop if you say I don't want you to do that he's going to keep doing it and he's going to lie what they're going to do he if you stop if you say i don't want you to do that he's going to keep doing it and he's going to lie about it i just i i i i i think that that's a little bit much i think you're interacting with an actual person and i that would be too much for

me i don't i have no issue with porn and i certainly wouldn't want to know what kind of porn people watch although i do know i do I do know what Spenny watches. It's really normal, which I was surprised by. I know you can't say normal, but like, it's not what you would think. I think I'm darker than he is, which I find surprising. But also, is he telling you the truth? I mean, is anyone telling anyone the truth? Is there a truth?

Is there any such thing as truth? You know, these are the questions I ask myself. Like everyone's up to all sorts behind their own closed doors. You kind of just have to let them at it. Why is he telling her though that he's watching live webcasts? I kind of wish that she didn't know that

and she could just get on with her life. I wish she didn't know that either. But I also think that knowing that is like, I just wouldn't be happy with it. It's like, oh, your fella's gone for a massage and then he's getting a happy ending at the end oh but it's not really it's not really a thing it's not like a real yeah it's it it is where's the line where's the line

yeah well it's all over the line the line is gone the line is with the um sorry I was just completely shocked by that I never know what will shock you and what won't shock you it's too early for it I've been up since five it feels like the afternoon to me I suppose if you were to get really down

to the nitty gritty is it always the same woman then that to me is, would be maybe an issue. You're like, are you, are you specifically webcomming one, one woman all the time?

Then it's maybe a little different. I don't know. I'm in one of those, I'm in, I'm in my, what you don't know can't hurt you stages of my life. But she does know. So.

I know. It's a shame she knows yeah it is it's a shame I know but I know you're saying that but then it's like oh well I didn't know

he was cheating so I didn't mind like of course you want to know certain things but is is webcamming cheating that's the question

and I don't I don't know I think webcamming is going along a line that you shouldn't be treading I think you're on the plank there.

You're on the plank. My take on it is, if he's already walked that plank, trying to walk himself back off that plank, what chance does he have? If he sees the sharks in the water, he might not want to go off the plank anymore. He might say,

I'll come back down off the plank. I don't want to go into those sharks. Just to round that up we don't know we're stumped by that yeah we're absolutely stumped I kind of do know I wouldn't be happy

with that that's how I feel I do know that I would not be happy but I agree with Joanne that I would rather that I didn't know maybe that

yeah same I don't know maybe we don't know. Maybe that. Yeah same. I don't know. I don't know. Maybe we don't know. If she can somehow. Men in black herself. Out of that one. I would.

I would recommend. Giving yourself a good head injury. And hoping that. When you come out of the coma. That bit is gone. That's the best advice. I can give there. Joanne you have the most.

Fantastic advice. Joanne I never tell you that. I did an online course. I did an hour course. In life coaching. So I think I'm pretty qualified now to be dowling all this shit out. Started at three. I was qualified by 4.30. Thrilled.