My Therapist Ghosted Me - MTGM EXTRA! "He's 50..."
Episode Date: May 8, 2024This week, the EXTRA is being recorded just before Vogue & Joanne visited your friend and mine, Magic Mike. Plus, the verdict on Vogue's big pink jacket and LOTS of performative behaviour.  If y...ou’d like to get in touch, you can send an email to hello@MTGMpod.comPlease review Global's Privacy Policy: https://global.com/legal/privacy-policy/For merch, tour dates and more visit: www.mytherapistghostedme.comFor more information about Joanne's gigs, just visit www.joannemcnally.comThis episode contains explicit language and adult themes that may not be suitable for all listeners.Thank you!
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This is a Global Player Original Podcast.
Welcome to the bonus episode of My Therapist Ghosted Me with me, Joanne McNally and Boag Williams.
We were due to do a record yesterday, but I asked to reschedule and I'm not willing to give Joe the real reason, so I've just told him it's my period.
Because then he can't say anything.
It was my period, Joe.
Okay, it was my period.
It was periodic.
It was my period all day.
All day.
No, it was actually just, it just hit at four o'clock when we were due to record.
You're lucky I gave you a heads up, to be honest.
Yeah, she saw it.
I was in so much pain, Joe, being a woman.
You wouldn't understand
don't give a shit about Jo
did you hear about those
floods in Clapham yesterday
that was Joanne
that'll be that then
yeah
that's with sandbags
down the end of the street
it was all rolling
downhill towards Vogue
okay
yeah
I need to tell you
something about periods
now that you've mentioned it
and I don't know
if you'll find this weird
or not
Spenny put my period in his diary and I was unsure if I was bothered by it or appreciative
because he knows that like during my period before I get a bit angry and actually yeah and now I'm
like actually you know what maybe he's just trying to be kind to me around those times when I
am more irritable or maybe he's trying to make sure
he doesn't knock it up again. Maybe he's counting in the days. Maybe it's his way of saying,
of course, I'll try again. But really, he doesn't want to. Maybe it's controlling you.
My manager said that as well. She's like, are you trying for a baby? And I was like, no, why?
And she was like, because Spencer's got your period in for a baby and i was like no why and she was like because
spencer's got your period in his diary and i was like no we are definitely not trying for a baby
we're trying not for it we're trying not for a baby yeah trying not for baby from a straight
male point of view just to add my 10 pence worth i think there's a bit of a movement these days for
us to understand because there are apps these days where you can put your period in
and then it will give your partner notifications
to say that your partner's on their period
just to allow for this and this might happen
and just to be aware.
So actually, I think Spencer's probably
right up with the curve on that one.
He's a feminist, basically, is what you're saying.
I mean, they've always said it about him
they've always said
Spencer Matthews
that little feminist
will you stop it
they had suspicions
that he could be a feminist
they say
fantastic boyfriend
and also a feminist
feminist
yeah
avid feminist
lit with the feminism
day in day out
I heard he marches
but in a disguise
because he doesn't want to
he doesn't want the credit
for the feminism
if you know what I mean
he's just discreet
not like you Jo
buying an app
letting all the girls
you know
it's an app
you're being a
showy feminist
I am
I've been a bit needy
that feels to me Jo
performative
yeah
and we don't
appreciate it
we don't
no one appreciates that
no one quite knows what it means
so Joanne and I
are going on our second date
in two nights and we're actually
going to be going out very soon
and I'm very concerned about the state
of your face right now
you don't look ready
I
am going for a more natural look
tonight and tonight look ready I am going for a more natural Luke tonight
and
tonight is
it's magic mic day
it's magic mic day
so
if your feminism
wasn't so performative
you'd be coming with us
but you're not
because your misogyny
leaks into your
weekend plans
I've noticed that much
yeah no
I'll just be going
to watch football
with the boys
and thinking beer
and all of that
and a titty bar
not right down
with the lads
just try and stop me
nice pair of
fresh tits in the face
for the summer
always the same
but no
also you do understand
Magic Mike is in
the complete darkness
so no one will
it's fine
to go like this
and I will
I will put something on
I'm going to be honest
it doesn't look like
you've even showered yet
so what's happening here
what time do I go
to town
because obviously
this is my
riding a book
uniform
am I heading in
I just woke up
I had to take another nap
because it's
the creative process
is incredibly draining
that is so funny
that you were taking a nap
because I was under the impression
that you were coming here at one o'clock today
to train with your trainer,
but then you moved it to three o'clock
and now it's five past four
and there's still no sign of you.
Well, Olivia, if you're listening to this podcast,
I do apologise for the double cancellation of one day.
But when the creative flow comes,
one must lean in.
And I had a glass of wine at lunch,
which always makes me a little nappy.
But I did get a good solid 70-odd words.
Things are moving fast.
Jesus Christ, are you going to be okay to go out tonight?
You must be wrecked.
I'm absolutely drained.
I don't know how James Joyce did it.
I really don't. He must have been wrecked.
Okay, I have
good news and I think
it's always nice to start with a bit of good news
even though we have not started with the good news
but however, here we are.
Sorry, me still having a period is quite good news.
I'm 41 next week.
That is fucking epic news.
Well done.
Thank you.
Wait, I forgot what I was doing.
Oh, I remembered now.
Hang on.
Your good news.
I've good news.
It's about Frank the cat.
Remember I was telling you about Frank?
Oh, your man.
The Amazon cat.
No, this is the cat that I was telling you about Frank oh your man the Amazon cat no this is the cat that I wanted to
to adopt
because he was like
he was 19
and his owner died
and Frank
who had been living
a nice life
in this gorgeous house
with his owner
was then shipped off
to a shelter
because no one
could look after him
well I got a mail today
it says Frank
hi Vogue
you probably won't
even see this,
but I was listening to this week's episode of MTGM
and you were talking about our cat, Frank,
who we adopted at the end of March.
His story broke our hearts
and we went to see him and couldn't leave without him.
Even though we know at 19,
he might not be around for so very long.
He is the best boy, old man.
He is now living his best life in
Harold's Cross and hopefully we'll get a few
more years out of him. Oh, that's so
nice. It does
feel performative because
if he hasn't
got long to, you know, they can make themselves feel
better. I'm learning about
performativism, performative activism.
Did you just read?
She's just read an article with the word performative and she you just read sounds performative she just read an article
with the word performative
and she said
I'm going to use that now
I'm going to try
and make the most
of that now
sounds very performative
what was that other word
that you liked
satiated
rambunctious
no you liked
satiated
for a while
satiated
you liked satiated
I just kind of
threw it into a sentence
and you really
latched on to
satiated
I do I bring that out when people think I'm stupid I say excuse me I just kind of threw it into a sentence and you really latched on to satiated.
I do.
I bring that out of,
when people think I'm stupid,
I say, excuse me,
I'm very satiated.
Thank you very much.
Excuse me?
Yeah.
How dare you suggest I'm not satiated?
It feels like performative anger.
But congratulations to Frank finding a new home.
I know.
I thought that was really nice.
I wish I'd been adopted into Harald's Cross
it's closer to saying
I love Harald's Cross
I used to live there
and I would like to follow up
with some bad news
oh
go on
he's dead
oh he's not
he's not dead
Jesus
short lived
well I was sent that mail
a couple of hours ago
he could be gone at this stage
he could be
at the time of recording
we believe Frank to be alive.
Yeah.
So, you know,
I was out last night with Joanne.
We went to this very fun event
in Sushi Samba
and we had a lovely time
and I thought,
you know what?
I've seen this girl
wearing this pink leather jacket
from the Frankie shop.
Oh, Frankie.
Yes.
The Frankie shop.
And I was like,
I'm going to treat myself to the jacket.
I'm going to treat myself. And then I
end up buying the jacket, but I bought it off the European
website and it
ended up costing me another 70 euro
in stupid custom fees.
Whoever voted for Brexit, that's your fault and I want
the money back. I bet
Joe did. Joe
is a Tory.
Don't you dare. Joanne's
a Tory and she loves Boris Johnson.
It's so funny.
Like, obviously,
before I lived here,
I didn't understand
obviously what a Tory is,
but now I know
it is a high insult.
There's a bang a Tory
off Spencer Matthews.
Now, I'm not going to say
if he's a Tory or not a Tory,
but I, because there is
a bang a Tory off
and because of his accent
and stuff like that,
then I'm thrown
under the Tory bus too.
Listen,
I'm,
Switzerland.
Okay. I don't think, I don't think he can be a Tory bus too. Listen, I'm, Switzerland. Okay.
I don't think,
I don't think he can be Tory and feminist.
I don't think they're,
do they go together?
Do they not kind of rub each other out?
If there's any feminist Tories out there,
do let us know.
I don't think Spenny is,
is anything politically,
actually.
I don't think he knows what's going on.
Spenny is,
is,
Spenny votes for Spenny
Spenny
oh my god
is his own party
yeah
the other day right
he was
and I actually thought
it was amazing
because I've heard it
so little
from anyone
in the whole world
and he was looking
at himself in the mirror
and I was like
are you delighted
with your body
and he goes
do you know what
I'm fucking delighted
with my body
he loves his body so much and because you know what I'm fucking delighted with my body he loves his body
so much
and because you're always
slagging yourself off
I thought
that's actually really nice
to hear from someone
you're the only person
in the world to say that
and I appreciate it
I think
hating your body
feels like it's more
a female
hobby
Joe how do you feel
about your body
I know plenty of blokes
who hate their bodies too
sorry
I'm not sure
if that's a bit performative,
but no, they...
It sounds performative
to be honest, Jo.
Do they actually
hate their bodies
or are they just saying
they hate their bodies
to bang women?
To make them...
To grab that pussy.
No, I don't think so.
I think there are men
who are ungrateful as well, yeah.
You're right, you're right.
Yeah, for balance.
Yeah, you're right.
They do.
I'm glad they do.
I'm fucking glad they do
because we've had to do it
for long enough on our own.
Only fair.
Back to my bad news, please.
Sorry.
Sorry.
So anyway, I waited ages for the jacket.
No, thanks to the Tories.
And the jacket arrived.
I got into the taxi last night
and I actually was going
to text Joanne
and I was like
no don't be jealous
of my jacket Joanne
don't be jealous
and I got in
and she was like
it's nice
but I wouldn't buy it myself
I think
I think what I said
that's what you said
this is again
performative anger from Vogue
I think what I actually said was
it's a lovely jacket.
Wouldn't have spent
that much on it though.
Quote unquote.
Okay.
Well,
so we went to the event
and we got a couple.
I think that's what I said
because it was
pretty spicy.
But
it's stunning.
Yeah.
Well,
we went to the event.
We got a couple of pictures taken.
Obviously,
they went in the Daily Mail
and I couldn't help myself
with the comments. I'm not in. I'm not. Did they went in the Daily Mail and I couldn't help myself with the comments.
I'm not in.
I'm not.
They didn't do the podcast.
I had a part to take with Laura Whitmore.
I'm not in it.
You are.
You are.
You are.
Don't look at it now, please.
It'll ruin the episode.
Okay.
And so here is one of the comments.
Sorry.
Sorry.
Sorry.
You don't have a lot of faith
in my outfit or how I look.
No.
I'm absolutely sure.
Don't look at it now fit or how I look. No, I'm sure you look absolutely smashing. I'm absolutely sure.
Don't look at it now because you'll never go out again.
You'll start crying. Don't let her see it
now. It'll ruin the weekend for her.
Thanks Jo.
Obviously I'm
slyly googling. Go on Jo, tell the story.
And I looked at the comments
and it said that pink jacket on
Vogue looks awful.
Someone else commented, it really does.
Fashion fail.
Sorry, Vogue.
Not nice at all.
And then under that, a comment, oh, gosh, that jacket makes her look old.
And the haircut doesn't help.
Old?
Old?
No, I would have said it makes you look cheap, not old.
That's what I would have said, makes you look cheap not old that's what I would have said too
yeah
horrified
I should have said
I didn't mean to say old
I must have been drunk
I'll go back
edit my comments
you know
you know that they've
actually in the Daily Mail
now you have to
is it the Daily Mail
they've changed it
so you can't write
anonymous comments anymore
like you have to name
you have to name yourself
yeah but you can call yourself Fanny McGee if you want you know what I mean you don't write anonymous comments anymore like you have to name you have to name yourself yeah but you can
call yourself
Fanny McGee
if you want
you know what I mean
you don't have to use
your actual name
oh okay
so I would
it's a great name
if I have a girl
if I have a little girl
Pat McGee
your little girl's
called Pat McGee
that's going
top of the list
hello Joanne
Vogue and Jo
I'm in desperate
need of some of
your expert advice
I'm 23 and for the last
two months I've been seeing a 50
year old.
Wow.
At first I thought it would just
be a fling so I didn't put too much thought
into it but things have progressed and I don't
see it cooling off anytime soon.
For context, we
worked together and met in a job, but everything
was PG until he got moved
elsewhere. He's whisking me
away on fab trips every other weekend, which
I have no complaints about, but my constant
disappearances have led to my parents
to question who I'm with. I've
told them bits about him, but gave a fake name
because my dad is the king of online stalking.
And
said that he was 27,
not 27 years older.
I'm very close with my parents
and usually I give them too much information
about my love life.
However, the one thing my dad told me
not to do was to bring a man home
that's older than him.
I hate lying to them.
And they're asking so many questions.
It's making it harder.
Please give a girl some much needed advice.
On how she should handle this situation.
I don't want to be the reason.
My dad doesn't make 50.
Hold on.
Her dad's not even 50.
Her dad's younger than her fella.
I. Oh. Her dad's not even 50. Her dad's younger than our fella. I have many mixed feelings about this.
Okay, so one of my friends is, he's 40 now,
but he was, about three years ago,
he was going out with this girl who was 22.
And he was like 40 and she was 22 and I was like he sent me a picture
of them and I go haha who's that your sister like and I was kind of like half serious because she
looked like so young compared to him and he took real offense to it now it didn't work out in the
end but I feel that there is such a huge generational gap there that like you're only out of school five years.
There's such a break in like the conversations
you would be having
or the things that you would be finding interesting
at those two separate ages so far apart.
Like I'd find it hard to be friends
with a 23 year old and I'm 38
because I just think that
they feel so much younger than me.
I know what you're saying,
but my take on this would be they obviously than me. I know what you're saying, but my take on this would be
they obviously are,
like, I know what you're saying,
but they obviously are
having good conversations.
They obviously are getting on
and they wouldn't be together.
So that's not the concern.
The concern is that things are rolling
and it's getting a bit more serious
and she's obviously mad about him.
And he's obviously mad about her.
Of course he is.
Yeah.
Do you know what though though people have brought home worse
yeah look
do I marry
exactly
if Sandra Neal
can survive
that is a joke
it's a joke
it's a good one
it's very much a joke
it was a very funny joke
and I won't be taking
time for that
no
but it's but it's true people bring home What a joke. It was a very funny joke and I won't be taking it. No.
But it's true.
People bring home what their parents
consider to be
ill-fitting partners
all the time.
Yes.
Your parents
are not going to be
thrilled about it.
Your dad's going to kill them.
Yeah, it's going to be
really awkward.
Maybe they just don't
need to meet them.
Maybe just keep it
on the down low.
I don't.
You know what I mean?
I lied to my parents all the time about stuff growing up
because I knew it would get me in trouble if I didn't.
I know, but I think she's very close to them.
So what I would say is I wouldn't expect to be bringing him home.
I don't think that that's a good idea.
But it doesn't mean you can't tell them.
If you feel like you have to tell them do
but I don't know
if I'd be bringing them home
they'll go mad
it also doesn't matter
if you fall out with your daddy
because you have a new one now
you don't need to
you say dad I have
yeah you've been more mature dad
you've been replaced mate
I'm having a sleepover with dad
oh god
yeah
it's awkward
but you know what I would say
and this is
I'm gonna say it
just be careful
because
he
he's so much older
than you
that
it's probably doable now
but
you know
but he's gonna die soon
I didn't want to say it
you've got your whole life
ahead of you
he doesn't
he doesn't
send him to me
I'll fucking take him
I'm only 10 years behind him
yeah come on
that's not fair
we wish you well
we wish you well
love is love
love is love
your body your choice
yeah We wish you well. We wish you well. Love is love. Love is love. Your body, your choice.
Yeah.
Is that okay?
Till death do you part.
What I really want to say is,
oh my God, he must be well hung because men of his age
sometimes struggle.
Spout you on.
I don't think that that's true.
I think that like,
like, what's his name? Bernie E I think that like Bernie Eccleston
had a kid not long ago
he's like 900,000 years old
he's obviously still able to
perform
I'd say no that was like you say
a bit performative
actually I'd say it lacked performance
is what I would say
it's the opposite of performative
I'd say things were put in a jar
and then taken inside themselves.
Well, you know, allegedly.
Allegedly.
I wouldn't say now he was getting stuck in on top, you know.
Jesus Christ.
I wouldn't say so.
Would you?
He probably just sat in his commode
and she positioned herself
and then they worked out
the exchange there
on a pulley system.
The pulley system
always makes me laugh.
But I only say that
because I did have experience
of being with
an older gentleman
at one stage.
It was a very brief dalliance.
But
I'm trying to kind of
make me sound a bit more
high end.
I shouldn't suggest that
all older men struggle in that department.
That was ageist of me and I apologise.
I'm just saying from my personal experience,
there were some issues around that which I put down to age.
I'd say the oldest I'd go at 38 is probably 60.
See, it just depends on the person, doesn't it?
Like you just, you think you have all these rules
like I'm sure that girl
who emailed in
did not expect to be
going out with a lot
27 years older than her
but she's met someone
that she likes
and it's not easy
to meet people
that you like
if you meet someone
that you like
give it a go
yeah
I mean you know
if it's legal
and it is
in this case
good caveat
I just think it's so
like and it's so fun at
the start as well and
all the trips away and
enjoy it.
Enjoy it.
Enjoy it.
I've actually turned
the corner on this.
Actually no I agreed
with it in the first
place.
I've stayed in the
corner I was at at the
start.
Well done that's what
we like to hear.
Ding ding ding.
Thank you.
Yeah.
Yeah I think good for
her.
Good for him.
Well that is probably the end
of our bonus episode today
I've had a fantastic time
with both of you
Joanne
you're going to have to
get the old skates on
aren't you
aren't you
better skataddle
we're meeting Mike
it's Magic Mike day
oh I can't wait
to tell you
about Magic Mike
I can't wait
I assume Mike's
going to be dining
with us before
after during
like this is a and we're meeting the cast fantastic to tell you is about Magic Mike. I can't wait. I assume Mike's going to be dining with us before, after, during.
Like this is a... And we're meeting the cast.
Fantastic.
We're meeting all the Mikes.
It's going to be us and 20 Mikes.
Jesus Christ.
I know.
Better put on a good bra.
Don't wear the ghosted bra.
Whatever you do,
don't wear the ghosted bra.
Now that one,
the curls up at the ends.
That has to go.
Now that I'm single
after they're gone
I have to do a whole
refresh on everything
oh thank god
it's all just
it's just
suspenders
for me
they were even
turning me off
you're just sitting here
in my suspenders
I have loads of
gorgeous bits
that I've no intention
of ever wearing
I'll pass them on
you're away
I'm married now
it doesn't matter to me
give me your
grey knickers
I'll give you my good knickers
thank you
I want your wedding garter
okay fabulous
give me everything
of course
two sets for you
it's what
just so if anyone
anyone is listening
the grey knickers are gone now
just for the record
she's sexy
and she knows it
okay
by the way
before we go
we can talk about it again
I was gifted a book
by a photographer it's not the photographer didn't gift it
to me my friend gifted it to me Rankin is the photographer
and he photographed Heidi Klum
naked in this amazing
huge book
and when I her body
is
insane
I am gonna
show off for a second actually
hang on
oh my god
like her boobs
I mean
she is
have you seen her daughter
look
Rankin photographed me
when I was pregnant
I know
oh my god
and it was on a billboard
Vogue that's amazing
why have you not framed that
I just can't
I forgot about it until you said it there.
You need to get that framed.
I definitely need to get it.
And he's really sound as well.
Anyway, she looks absolutely insane.
Don't look at her daughter in any pictures.
You'll feel really bad about yourself.
We're subpar humans compared to that child.
Another little blow from my self esteem
don't look at the Daily Mail, don't look at
Heidi Klum's daughter, just don't do it Bye.