My Therapist Ghosted Me - MTGM EXTRA! "We Go Back A Long Way!" - With Deirdre O'Kane
Episode Date: June 2, 2022Maybe this EXTRA episode is a tiny bit late.... But it's so worth it! Vogue & Joanne jumped into the emails, before they were joined by the lovely Deirdre O'Kane! MTGM doesn't have guests often, but w...hen they do, they're class! If you'd like to get in touch, you can send an email to hello@MTGMpod.comFor more information about Joanne's gigs, just visit www.joannemcnally.comThank you!
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Welcome to the extra episode of My Therapist Ghosted Me with me and her.
Joanne, emails. You ready?
Hit me.
I just wanted to share a quick blow-by-blow rundown of last Saturday of me going to watch
Joanne at the Palladium the other night. Best day ever. Taxi to Soho at 10am. Brunch, Prosecco,
Prosecco, Prosecco.
Champagne. Champagne cocktail. Sick.
Pret a manger at 3.
Check bank balance. Scream.
Pub. Prosecco, Prosecco. Stop friend crying about ex.
Water. Oh, so much water.
Wait outside Palladium.
Pint of Prosecco. Spill Prosecco. More Prosecco.
Trap finger in the bathroom door.
Blood. Garode. Prosecco.
Joanne. Laughter. Club. Meet guy Garode. Prosecco. Joanne. Laughter. Club.
Meet guy called Gavin.
Cider.
Bad idea.
Chips.
Taxi.
Ride Gavin.
Leave Gavin's house at 5am.
Hangover.
Deep regret.
Flapjack.
And Fanta breakfast.
Redemption.
I love her.
Sorry, so I got the same amount of time there as a flapjack.
I got one reference.
Gavin got three no you got i'm gonna give the prosecco's that's also a reference that is not i am not a bottle of prosecco i am a woman
i'm a human being well well you're also pre-demand jay yes that does sound like a great day out in
fairness i hope your finger is okay that sounds like I can't believe that she went from 10 in the morning
till five the next,
what is that, 19 hours.
That is.
Listen, it sounds like we haven't done our song yet.
I know, I know,
but that was back in the day, sure.
I wouldn't be able to do all that Prosecco, Prosecco,
sick, sick, sick, Prosecco.
Well, I'm,
basically, I'm sorry I interrupted your day
of drinking Prosecco.
I'm sure the hour
the hour and twenty
hours on stage
was only slowing up
the day
apologies
my deepest apologies
a flapjack
and Fanta breakfast
that to me
is kind of a healthy
breakfast
oats
oats
yeah
oats is one of my
favourite words
hello MTGM
thought I'd share
this one with you
I was doing a bit
of travelling
a few years ago.
Loved it.
I'd saved a load of money during the summer season in a hotel and just went, no plan,
no schedule, just meeting people, finding out where they were going and tagging along.
That actually is my worst nightmare.
I was in Istanbul and I'd spent the night with a fellow who was a commercial pilot.
Uh-oh, I know someone who doesn't like them.
Right.
I told him I was up for leaving the next
morning and he could sort me out with a flight somewhere he said he'd be heading for morocco
and i should come because he could get me a cheap ticket we got to the airport he told me to wait
the arrivals off of it and he'd be back that was the last i saw of him i waited for an hour and a
half and figured he'd fucked off why did he even take me to the airport? Why not just leave?
It felt like a weird power move.
Hold on a second now.
Couple of thoughts.
One, asking a one night stand for a free flight.
It's a big ask.
He was a pilot.
It's fair enough.
You're not asking for a lift.
Do you know what I mean?
It's not like, oh, I'm going that way anyway.
Like it's a commercial flight.
Joanne, that's exactly what you're asking for.
You're just asking for a lift
there's one of those
there's one of those seats
that they put you in
the deadhead seat
the jump seat
obviously he was
in a position to do that
I think asking someone
for a free flight
is a big ask
and wouldn't stand
secondly you got a lift
to the airport
that's more than what I got
I got a lift
remember your man
remember the photographer
who wouldn't bring me anywhere
because he said
it was an unprecedented
actual shivery
also I was thinking maybe he brought her to the airport because he said it was an unprecedented actual chivalry also I was thinking
maybe he brought her
to the airport
because he was like
I can't
maybe though
maybe it was like
that movie with Leonardo DiCaprio
maybe he's not even a pilot
and he just
the lie had gone so far
that he's like
I have to go to the
fucking airport with her
that's actually
a great shout
I'd say that's what it is
and
being ghosted like that
is like,
it's kind of,
it's kind of okay
because it's like,
he got a story out of it.
He's actually selling macaroons
out of the duty-free inside,
but he doesn't,
he can't let you know that.
Yeah, yeah.
A pilot seems much more cool.
He's stacking Toblerones
behind the scenes.
Yeah, that's what happens.
Women are very attracted
to pilots.
Not anymore.
I'm about to change that
when I get my own pilot license. Yeah, exactly. I wouldn't be attracted to pilots. Not anymore. I'm about to change that when I get my own pilot license.
Yeah, exactly.
I wouldn't be attracted to pilots.
And do you know what?
Oh no, I'd fancy it.
I saw a fella the other day
wearing those trousers,
the Snickers trousers.
And I thought,
I'm actually going to purchase
a pair for Spencer
because it is the level of fancying
someone in a pair of those trousers
that the electricians wear.
I don't know what it is.
Do you know what that's so funny?
Because we were gigging in
Newcastle the other night. Oh God, there was a girl
in the audience. Jesus. My God.
Why was she locked?
She was
off her rocker.
I'll tell you what, I've never, it's the most
drunk I've ever got was a night out in Newcastle.
Yeah, it's a pretty banal. It's actually
such a, I have a real soft spot for Newcastle yeah it's real moody or something I love all the
brick and the darkness to it I don't know it's kind of I just think it's and that weird statue
the flying statue when you you go in she was all for tits but it's the first time ever that
someone's actually kicked themselves out so she was she just she just wasn't in the mood for it
you know what I mean she was obviously coming up so I don't know what she was doing but anyway
and uh then at one stage she was it was really disruptive because it was a small room
and um so anyway then eventually she goes Joanne and I was obviously in the middle of something
yeah yeah yeah and I went to yes and she goes I'd like to go now
and I she'd already kicked over a load of bottles and smashed
I'd like to go now and I was like absolutely no problem hon like you make your way out there don't
worry about it at all um yeah so it was all it all ended well no one had to ask her to leave it was
perfect oh I'd love to have that level of just a sense of self to know when to send
myself home well apparently she was trying to get back in then and then they were like no you can't
get back in she obviously went out and was like what am I doing out here if you're listening email
us in we'd actually love to know what happened to you we'd love to know what happened but um
yeah it all came for a good place she was just trying to have a good enjoy herself whatever but
um and then someone else she but em and then someone else
she just left and then someone else was like Joanne can I say something
and I was like oh god what
she was like this does not represent
Newcastle okay
yes it does come on I've been out there
absolutely does
come here we've all been that soldier I remember doing
20 Mitsubishis and going to see John Bishop I was trying come here we've all been that soldier I remember doing 20 Mitsubishis
and going to see
John Bishop
I was trying to
talk to him
the whole time
I'm kidding
obviously
the reason I was
talking about
Newcastle
because Garode
has a joke
about Snickers
pants and he
said it
and they didn't
really react
and we realised
they don't use
the term Snickers
they don't use
the term Snickers
pants
what do they use
I think they're
just trade pants
they've never
heard of Snickers
so Snickers are the work pants
that the
kind of hot
hot electricians wear
with all the pockets
down the side
for their kids
I'd actually wear them
out myself
if they weren't navy
I don't have much use
for navy in my wardrobe
oh come here
we definitely have
a pair of high-vis
Snickers in us now
for a bit of Glastonbury
or something like that
100% sure
I'll just whip out
my old
steel capped boots
from the days of the building site.
I will.
Yeah, from the building site.
Fantastic.
I love the way you always whip out a random job.
Like this week's is weather spans,
next week's be like,
do you remember I was a vet?
Yeah.
What?
Well, I was going to say with the Miss 60 jeans,
my first ever job came from asking for a pair of Miss 60 jeans.
My friend, her dad had bought her a pair and I was just like, I was like job came from asking for a pair of Miss 60 jeans. My friend,
her dad had bought her a pair
and I was just like,
I was like,
I'm asking for a pair of them
but they were like 60 euro
at the time
and I said to my mum,
can I have a pair of them?
She goes,
yeah,
of course you can.
She came home the next day
and she'd gotten me a job
in the summer shop.
Do you remember your mum
used to go and get you
random jobs?
So I had to start working
when I was 16.
Next thing she'd be like,
did I ever tell you
about the time I was
an arms dealer in college? Was it? Did I ever tell you about the time I was an arms dealer
in college was I
did I ever tell you
about that
no
yeah dealing arms
bit of cash
good cash
Sandra got me the job
and helped me do that
so on this week's bonus episode, we have a special guest.
We've never had a guest before, Vogue.
No, we haven't.
A very, very close dear friend of mine.
So me and Vogue are scrapping over who knows Deirdre better.
It's Deirdre O'Kane is our guest.
She's on tour at the moment.
We're going to talk to her about comedy and New York and her tour
and the fact that she doesn't really know who Vogue is.
Okay, line it up there, Yvonne.
and her tour and the fact that she doesn't
really know who Vogue is.
Okay, line it up there, Yvonne.
We don't usually have guests
on the podcast,
but we made a,
we made a special dispensation
this week.
You can't just take that word.
You don't even know
what that word means.
For my very good friend,
Deirdre.
And also my friend.
Who doesn't really know Vogue.
To be fair,
if anyone can use the word
dispensation now,
other than the Pope,
it's you.
That's fair.
Yeah.
Exactly.
You're gigging as much as him.
I'm blessing babies left, right and centre.
Blessing babies, giving it all that.
We're all over it.
My bulletproof Popemobile that I can't drive myself
because I'm now licensed.
Buzzing it through Croke Park.
No, but obviously, Deirdre, me and you are friends.
We're both comics. Obviously, Vogue is kind of a blow-in in the industry. Doesn but obviously Deirdre me and you are friends we're both comics
obviously Vogue
is a kind of a blow in
in the industry
doesn't know Deirdre
that well but
I'm actually
Deirdre I don't know
I don't know if you've
heard but I actually
am moving into comedy
and Deirdre and I
actually do go back
a very long way Vogue
I actually remember
I remember the very
first time I met you
and I remember the
very first time I met
Joanne
now I fangirled you
the first time I met you
if you do recall correctly
in the mansion house you were house. You were DJing.
Yes. You were DJing.
Well now Deirdre DJing's a stretch. She was
pushing buttons on show. Let's be fair.
Since you said that the last. She's not exactly
mixing up her tracks. She said it on
Family Fortunes. Haven't got a DJ gig
since. Bitch. No
Deirdre you wouldn't remember when we met
because I was a true fangirl.
It was at this um event in
I don't even remember in the Shelburne and you were gigging at it and I was like I'd had a few
drinks and I went up to you and I was like hi Deirdre yeah that's oh no I don't remember that
and yeah and now we're firm friends well I had gone to see Deirdre in um like as in watched her
gig a couple of times before he'd actually before I was even in comedy you were the one
because there was no women
so it was like
oh yeah no listen
I am as old as tea
I have been around
so long
that's why I can't
remember anything
it was you
and Maeve Higgins
that was it
there was no other
women in comedies
so we were all
I was on the road
10 years before
Maeve appeared
yeah yeah yeah
there was maybe
the Nualas
and Angel D
that was it
it was sparse
territory for women
very sparse
they were the days
I thoroughly enjoyed it
had it all to myself
clit fest
left right and centre
yeah
they're everywhere
bags of clits
yeah
what was I going to say
clit tickets
going 90 yeah obviously we want to
talk about your tour but the you know the way i always um talk about paths to freedom which is
i still i know i know i go on about it i still think it's the best thing that ortiz ever made
and i include anything that i've ever been in in i still think that's freedom what was the line
just say the line joanne that you always used to ask me to say.
People listen to this
and they won't know what you're talking about.
It was a TV show,
a mockumentary called Pass to Freedom.
I played a really posh Southside woman called Helen.
Doesn't sound unlike you, actually.
Actually, yeah.
Actually, you know?
Please wear your,
what are the shoes?
The Molly got,
what are they called?
The galoshes, is it? Oh, galoshes, yeah. Yeah, please don't wear your galosh are the shoes? The Molly got, what are they called? The galoshes, is it?
Oh, galoshes, yeah.
Please don't wear your galoshes in the house.
But the funniest was, she played,
it was these two men coming out of prison
and it followed them in their lives.
And one was kind of, one was very like high,
you know, what was he like?
Upper class.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Posh, let's just say posh.
He was a gynecologist.
By the way, Brendan Coyle,
who went on to play
Mr. Bates in Downton Abbey.
Yes!
Yeah.
And then it was kind of
working class guy
over the other side.
Was he done for drug deal
and Rats was his name?
Anyway,
so Deirdre played
the wife of the posh guy
and it is honestly,
it's just so funny.
I watched it again
during lockdown.
It's all on YouTube.
Did you really?
Yes!
I'm going to watch that.
He had a breakdown.
He moves into a tent in the garden
thinks he's Michael Flatley you're in the house
you will love it
you will love it
I loved Moonboy
I never saw Moonboy
oh my god
oh my god Joanne
it's really good
I never got into it
you've been around the block
I swear to god there's nothing I haven't done
literally it's just a joke
and people introduce me now
they list the things and I go
I need to give this one up
it's just ridiculous
it's not ridiculous
it's because you're incredibly talented
you can do loads of things
tell us about your tour
you've got a tour coming up I'm loving me tour isn't it great being back on the road joanne i know
you're exhausted but isn't it nice to be doing it again no it's brilliant it is it's absolutely
not very lonely when you're doing it i'm very mentally robust now i was at the start but now
i'm kind of just i've got it i've gotten used to it now i don't mind in fact i've gone the other
way now i find it very hard to be around other people now.
I've gone so into myself
because I'm on my own all the time.
Do you find that?
Yeah.
I mean, I used to afterwards
maybe see people after the show
and maybe go for a drink and stuff.
And I've long stopped that now.
Yeah, I've stopped that as well.
Yeah.
But I do need somebody.
I've started to rope in quite a mates
to come on,
a few mates to come on the road with me
as road trip buddies because I don't like coming off the stage
and having no one to talk to because I feel like a freak.
There's no one to do that post-mortem with.
I've done that.
I came off stage in Vicar Street once to nobody.
No one.
No support act.
Nobody was around.
I remember being in the dressing room going,
all right, well, maybe that's how I'm going to do it.
It's such a weird anti-climax oh i never
again i said i can't i'm not doing that again so now i've roped people in who said i'll go on the
road with you i'll do the drive i'll come and just keep you company and that's cool i love that um
because i don't have a support act everywhere i do some venues on my own and the odd one then
the bigger rooms uh shitter rooms i have an opening act
throw someone else out first get out there and take the edge off that room off you go i did it
for loads of people go on tell us where have you got left to go touring well yeah all of my dates
are on my website deardrocan.net but let's flog the Hawkswell and Sligo let's go
that's on the 10th of June
and straight after
it is the Nerve Centre
in Derry on the 11th
and then I'm in Belfast
the night this goes out
of a few seats
left in Blanchardstown
then I'll be in
Cat Laughs in Kilkenny
and I'm doing a week
in Edinburgh Joanne
I know you are
are you
no I'm not doing
I'm not doing
no I'm not this year
now
damn I was hoping for you well do you know what though I'm going to go up I'm trying to make it not doing No I'm not this year Now Well do you know what though
I'm going to go up
I'm trying to make it work
Because I want to see you
I want to see Garode
I want to see Eleanor Tiernan
Yeah have a little
Busman's holiday for yourself
Exactly
I'm in Edinburgh
We should go up
I'm in Edinburgh in August
For the races
Are you?
Yeah
Well we need to figure it out
Because we have
I didn't even know
There was races in Edinburgh
That is hilarious
She plans to go to Edinburgh
For the races
Probably the comedy There's races? are they comedy races?
I was going to say she's probably going to the comedy show
she doesn't have a clue
when are the races?
I think they're in August
I'm actually DJing up there Joanne
touche
before you go
tell me about Gigging in America
because you were Gigging in America because you were gigging in America
recently and I'm
very curious as to
how that went
I thoroughly enjoyed
it and also all
the jokes worked
which was great
because you know
the way in your
head you think
oh my god
they're not going
to what are they
not going to get
here now
no problem
absolutely no
problem whatsoever
two of them
one in Brooklyn
and one in
what's the name
of the center
Manhattan
Madison Square Garden thanks for the help Manhattan oh lads in a one in um what's the name of the what's the name of the center manhattan you see manhattan
thanks for the help manhattan um oh lads jesus christ it's all ahead of you it's all ahead of
you i have a menopause brain now this is what's happened so first of all you have brain fog
because you've got babies and then you get into perimenopause menopause and you have more brain
fog so it just doesn't end you just never have a brain that works really are you not on the hrt of course i'm on the hrt i'm on heroin i'm on anything anything that will
work i'm taking believe me isn't it mad like the menopause kind of fascinates me because i'm kind
of i figure i'm staring down the barrel of it now myself you come and talk to me i'm the oracle
anything you need to know i will tell you i've done it all i've taken
yeah bioidentical hormones the whole lot total waste of money don't do that just take the regular
or hrt now it's plant-based and it's all east you know it's all organic and as and you're probably
wondering where do they get organic estrogen from well i tell you they distill it from billy eilish
and the under 17s come over the team that That's where you get organic oestrogen from.
When I went to see the female Dr. Joanne,
she was the first time I ever went to see a doctor that was younger than me.
And she was blonde and very South County Dublin and a little bit like you.
And she said, okay, let's talk about you.
What's going on with you?
And that's where the title of the show came from. Because I said to her, I'm just demented.
I'm actually just demented.
I was going to say to you,
because you always have these really clever
kind of pun show titles
like you did a line
of O'Kane before
that was the only one
I had
that's the only good one
I had
one D
you always kind of
like to ride
whatever's going on
at the time
and now you've demented
so I was like
that's a nice play
on your name as well
so they're always
very kind of like
they're very kind love
because it's actually
not a play
it's just the word demented
do you know why
nobody calls me Dee
they don't
I wish I'd
I wish I'd given myself
the name Dee
when I set out
because I could have done
loads of things with it
but instead it's Deirdre
which people only associate
with Carnation Street
and they don't
you know
they just don't get the name
I prefer Deirdre O'Kane
as a show name
I'm the same
I wish I'd taken a show name
like you're one here
but I wish I'd changed
my name to something jazzier,
but I didn't.
What's wrong with your name?
Your name's,
you've got a great name.
It's not Deirdre.
Joanne!
I mean,
come on.
Joanne!
It really suits you.
Joanne!
Joanne, a lovely Joanne.
There's loads of Joannes.
Anyway, Deirdre, go on.
Tickets on your website.
DeirdreO'Kane.net.
Do it, do it, do it.
And we might see you then.
And it's just a week in Edinburgh,
but I wouldn't mind selling that.
It's in the underbelly.
Yeah.
And we'll be up there at some point.
That'd be great crack.
I think the crack will be 90
because we will all be very happy
to see each other after this long hiatus.
So I think get up there.
You go and have a nice busman's holiday
and go to see other people
tell jokes and that's the plan and we go out and have gin and tonic yeah 100 because we're friends
i'll see you out friends whatever go out in your own bitches
hanks demented we love you love you more so nice to see you and hopefully thank you for having me
on your fabulous podcast bye bye well thank you for listening
I feel closer to Deirdre
than ever
and yeah
she
Joanne left early
and she said
Joanne's in bits
so that's how we roll
I love that like
I had to leave early
and I leave in vogue
and Deirdre had one of those
do you remember
that was half a heart
that the best friends
would wear
do you remember them I'd a fucking that the best friends would wear? Do you remember them?
I had a fucking bag of them. I was cheating on everyone.