Newcomers: Scorsese, with Nicole Byer and Lauren Lapkus - Temptation: Confessions of a Marriage Counselor (w/ Naomi Ekperigin)
Episode Date: June 15, 2021Actress, comedian, and writer Naomi Ekperigin (Mythic Quest) joins Lauren and Nicole to discuss Tyler Perry’s Temptation: Confessions of a Marriage Counselor (2013).Follow Naomi on Instagra...m and Twitter, and check out Mythic Quest on Apple TV and her podcasts Couples Therapy and I Love A Lifetime Movie.Next Week’s Watchlist: Tyler Perry's Madea's Farewell Play (2020)Like the show? Rate Newcomers 5-Stars on Apple Podcasts and let us know what Tyler Perry hit they should check out next.Advertise on Newcomers via Gumball.fmSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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This is a HeadGum Original.
We have a billion dollars walking in and out of these offices looking for love.
How do this?
We have a standard to uphold.
That blouse, it's telling it all.
So does your dress.
What's wrong with my dress?
Can't you even breathe?
How was your third week? Any better?
No.
That bad, huh?
Why am I wasting my time helping old men get a date?
I could get out and start my own practice.
A marriage counselor would be on my way.
Right now, you don't need to be thinking about that.
Who's that?
The largest social media inventor since Zuckerberg.
He's looking to invest in my company.
You run Landover Park.
You run there?
Every Saturday.
With your shirt off
so all the pretty girls
could notice you.
Oh, you notice me running.
How long you guys been married?
Six years.
I've known him for 19.
He's the only guy
you've ever been with.
We're very compatible.
We have nothing
to compare to.
It's the second year
in a row, Bryce.
I'm sorry.
My husband forgot my birthday.
Does he even notice you anymore?
Touchdown!
If you want me, then you say it.
Imagine me running into you.
If I had a woman like you, I wouldn't miss a thing.
Hey! You must be Bryce, right? Yeah. Car. I fell down when Harley helped me out. See you later. Nice to meet you.
What are you dreaming about? I don't really dream anymore. What do you dream about? You?
I've never seen you act like this.
Talk to me.
Judith!
That boy is gonna hurt you something bad.
I want to feel alive.
I want to feel wanted.
You never know who you're married to.
You start off one way and end up somebody else.
You don't know how much I love you.
Most women can't handle the kind of emotion that I bring.
He gonna take you straight to hell Oh, wow.
This is the 14th episode of the third season of Newcomers.
We're working our way through Tyler Perry's body of work for the very first time
with the help of Perry Scholars, super fans, and sometimes people who have contributed.
There's one episode left because we're doing 15 today.
Wow.
We watched Tyler Perry's romantic drama.
I don't know if there was any romance in this.
That's questionable.
Temptation, Confessions of a Marriage Counselor from 2013.
Oh my God.
If you want to watch this movie, it is available for a fee on Amazon, Apple TV, Google Play, and Vudu.
And you can record it on Philo.
And obviously we're going to spoil the movie for you.
So if you want to watch it first to avoid spoilers, then do that.
You might want to watch it, honestly.
I mean, I'm not saying because I liked it.
I'm saying our guest is incredulous right now.
Before we bring out our guest, Nicole, thoughts on the film?
Wow.
OK, I got to say, this is Tyler Perry's most current feeling film.
It felt like of this moment,
it was shot well.
Yeah.
I mean,
it is from 2013,
but like we just watched something from 2019.
I felt like it was shot in 2000.
Yes.
No,
I agree with you.
I,
I,
I was guessing as I was watching and thought it was from like 2016,
but it was all based on Kim Kardashian's looks that I was going off of.
I was like,
her face looks 2016.
This is the fourth iteration of. I was like, her face looks 2016 to me.
This is the fourth iteration of this face.
I gotta say, what a long, meandering movie.
And then you get to the juice.
And then, boy, the cup runneth over.
It's wild.
It becomes so insane.
It's completely, it does a 180 in a way that, there no explanation for it there's no justification we don't need it at all i guess um we go from having like the most
christian religious character who won't have sex before marriage to she becomes a horrible devil
i mean i don't even know sloppy like lady who wobbles around and we don't know if she's drunk or on something or just her hair
yeah so mean her mom gets thrown down boy uh we we got to bring our guest out okay our guest is
one of the funniest people in the world she's a comedian actress and writer she can be seen on as
carol on apple's mythic quest she also co-hosts the fabulous podcast I listen to every week, Couples Therapy, and I love a lifetime
movie. It's Naomi McParagon.
Welcome, Naomi.
I'm mad at both of y'all.
How dare you bring me on
to this podcast
and have me watch this motion picture?
I mean, you think that
you are connected with people, you think
that you maybe have a mutual respect
and understanding.
And then they put you through a process.
Because that's what I call that movie.
Being put through a process.
Have you watched Tyler Perry movies before?
I had only seen like a couple Madeas.
And then like, maybe Why Did I Get Married?
You know?
Yeah.
But that was it.
Oh my God.
His more dramatic works. Naomi's text, because we were texting about it during the movie. But that was it. Oh my God. It was more dramatic works.
Naomi's text,
because we were texting
about during the movie,
we were watching
at the same time,
and you were actually
keeping me going
because I put it on initially
and then I was like,
I got to take a shower.
This happened before.
This happened with
another Tyler Perry movie.
I was like,
I put it on,
I settle in,
and then I go,
let me just get myself
as comfortable
as I could possibly be and then really do this.
And so I came back.
And by that point, I was 10 minutes behind you.
And you were just giving me so much motivation because you'd be like, oh, my God, the craziest thing happens at one hour 30 or whatever.
And I'm like, I can't wait.
So it's just it was really exciting to watch it together because it's it's a journey.
It is.
And no pun intended. Journey's, it's a journey. It is. And no pun intended journey.
Journey went on a journey.
Yes,
she did.
She sure did.
This movie is,
um,
so slow.
So slowest.
You texted me and you were like,
this movie is pretty wild.
I can't wait to talk about it.
So I was like,
Ooh,
baby buckle up every five minutes,
just like The Oval, which I am fully caught up in.
I watched 30, I believe 30 plus episodes of The Oval.
I am caught the fuck up.
I can't wait for July for it to come back.
But I thought like things would like be happening
and then nothing happens until the last like 35 minutes
of this movie. movie well that's so
tyler perry but it's also like part of why i was excited for you to watch it is because it's so
boring but the things that are happening are really odd like yes just just kim kardashian
being there i have so many questions so many in 2013 what she was doing there the question of
do you think it was like to ingratiate herself to her black husband?
Was it her trying to get bona fides
now that she was going to have brown children?
Do you think she was like, I'm really trying
to start my career?
That's a good question.
Yeah, because her kids are what?
Probably like six or something.
Right? The oldest one's probably six or seven.
That's why I thought she was there.
And then Journey, because it was funny,
because you see Journey, and I'm like, okay, well well journey kind of came back to us you know what i mean like
she was a child star and then she re-emerged wait she was a child star yes do you remember that
there was a tv show first of all she was like on full house and everything but then there was like
one season of a show with the whole family with the whole small familyett family. Hold on. I have to Google her because I didn't realize this.
She's the girl from full house.
Yes.
Oh my God.
That's wild.
Friends with Michelle.
Yes.
Okay.
Oh,
yeah.
She's Michelle's black friend.
Okay.
That honestly,
that changes everything for me.
That context is really important.
Um,
I'm here to bring you that background,
that,
that TV and film history
that makes it even crazier just her whole journey in this movie i i i i i want to get into it so
deeply i can't i okay wait and then we have the guy who she has the affair with who is like
comes across as like really suave and then within within like, once they start hooking up, he's like the meanest person who ever lived.
So mean.
And even before they start, you get a little taste that, oh, this guy's too much.
And then, but at the same time, the man she's married to, not particularly interested in her or supportive.
Forgets her birthday two times.
Forgets her birthday.
There are no good options here.
Yeah, terrible options also her mother her mother is truly like you are the you are the literal devil to this man and then he was like i am the devil
i will rip out this uh apple computer from 1992 and throw you to the ground. It was the thickest computer I've ever seen.
I know.
Oh my God.
No.
And then also the part with the whole thing with Brandy,
the whole storyline where we get basically nothing
about Brandy for nothing.
We have to walk them through this
because Brandy's appearance is the most random thing.
And the whole time I'm like,
what is she doing here with these new
veneers?
Big chomper. She did
and the pharmacist, little
old white lady who's like keeps calling her
a lesbian. She is the funniest
part of this movie.
She's the Madea. Yes.
Yes.
She's iconic. I loved
her. The scene where she was taking all the candy and he's like
why don't you just take the whole thing she's like i don't want the whole thing and then continues to
like take more candy yes i'm not describing this well but it was very funny yeah she wasn't she was
she was funny but i also was like what is this storyline like why are we getting this pharmacy
storyline at all because there was nothing about it she just kept going she's not
right she's got something going on she put that hood on you know she had all these like reasons
for why something was wrong with brandy and it was like they weren't clear at all
and then the reveal that we get tyler perry loves a pharmacy does he yes in the oval somebody else
works at a pharmacy like he loves pharmacies he likes to use ideas from himself
he's inspired by his own works right reduce reuse recycle i mean can we get into it because one of
the things that upset me the most is yes our one of our leading men is a pharmacist and yet they
live and act like he's in a hovel. A pharmacist is a doctor, okay?
A pharmacist goes to medical school.
A pharmacist does rounds.
A pharmacist is trained.
And pharmacists make good money.
And they were acting like being a pharmacist
was like being a resident or something.
Like he just didn't have any money.
Completely.
And same with Journey's character.
She's like low self-esteem or something. And same with with Journey's character. She's like she's like low self-esteem
or something. And then Kim
Kardashian keeps saying that she's like sloppy
and gross. I'm like, no, she's not.
I was like, if anything, she's stunning
and just like in a gap
kind of way. She looks like, oh, I don't
care about, you know, fashion
but like she's still a stunning person.
Right. Well, because we're
going to need to break this down scene by scene.
Let's jump into our news.
Medea news media segment,
where we will just give you what's going on with Tyler Perry.
Now this is big news.
And of course,
Nicole and I were tagged 1 million times.
I gotta say,
I feel like Tyler Perry is just giving us news for the podcast.
I bet you,
I feel like we stop.
Nothing will happen with Tyler Perry.
It feels like it because I don't think
there was always news about him before.
And I also feel like people are like tagging us
and I'm like, he might see this connection eventually.
I hope so.
I hope he realizes how many people
we have brought to his MCU.
I hope he casts us in whatever the next Madea movie is.
I will be basically any role except clan member.
I love that you have to specify it because Tyler
would have been like, oh, okay, he's good.
And you'd be like, oh, no, I know I only have to be
in it for 12 minutes, but I don't want that.
But he would have been like, well, what about clan member's wife?
Clan member's wife. Do you want to
bring a cake to the rally? Who's trying to get out of it?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So, okay, but he's coming back now. Tyler, wait, Lauren, that is a fabulous clan member's wife do you want to bring a cake to the rally who's trying to get out of it yeah yeah um so okay
but he's coming back now
Tyler can you bring
wait Lauren
what
that is a fabulous idea
for Tyler Perry
to have a movie
where a clan member's wife
is trying to escape
and Medea helps her
oh my god
that would be so good
Medea probably run a car
through them
call it the
overground railroad
overground
do we live?
Look, this is how Boo happened,
okay? Yeah, I mean, maybe it'll happen.
Boo was a joke and another thing. We just made up a great
idea. It's gonna happen. We did.
And Tyler Perry will take it and run
with it. So Tyler Perry is bringing Medea
out of retirement, which is so funny because to me, Medea
is not retired at all. She's the forefront of my
mind. She was retired
in 2019 okay so
that's a really key point it's been we all retired in 2020 i mean i don't think you can say
you were in retirement last year you know i feel like yeah because tyler was just making tons of
shows that he wasn't in and so he's like medea's retired because he doesn't want covid and then
now he's like covid's done Medea's coming out of retirement.
New Netflix film is coming.
It's called A Medea Homecoming.
Now, if you are shocked by this news,
I don't know what to tell you.
He will write and direct the film.
Absolutely, absolutely.
Which is the 12th installment of the Medea franchise.
12.
And A Medea Homecoming continues Perry's work with Netflix following 2020's A Fall from Grace,
which was watched by 39 million households.
And a jazz man's blues,
which is expected to premiere later this year.
I mean,
Tyler Perry,
he's doing it.
Not to mention.
I opened up my BET plus app because I was trying to find the movie on there.
And the first thing I see is Tyler Perry's bra,
which is another show he made during this pandemic. A TV show called bruh?
And he also has sisters.
Oh my God.
Sisters and bruh.
And then I don't know if they like intertwine,
but they should.
I'm sure they are.
They probably do.
I'm sure Mr. Brown is on them.
And there was like,
I looked at his Wikipedia and there's,
he's created 14 TV shows.
How do we get on his casting director's list i mean my god this is
the thing and and what we love is that he shoots everything within a week so you know for all of
us we could fit in on our schedule like we can find the days yeah and i doubt there's like
positions like you could just do whatever you want while you shoot a tyler perry tv show that
takes a month out of your life exactly gail from the oval she hasn't been in
all of season two i gotta know where she's at i love the oval which one's gail gail is awful
the oval is you gotta watch the pilot you have the pilot honestly the everything that could happen in
a pilot happens but it's tyler perry's drama about the the White House where he recreated 80 80 percent to scale the actual White
House and it's definitely 80 percent yeah sometimes you're like the ceiling's low like
the ceiling's low it's like weird looking like it's a little wrong someone was commenting I
don't know if this was you Nicole who wrote this online or if I read someone else's comment about
the oval where they were just saying the the timeline he doesn't care at all about timeline like the inauguration's happening which
should be in January yet there are people playing on the lawn like it's like he doesn't give a fuck
because he's shooting in Georgia he's like fly in snow I couldn't that'll take time right that'll
cost money he's like I have a budget of 55 now the question is what is a requirement
you know that's how you keep that overhead low that's how you make those millions and then the
requirement is to have 100 characters that you don't ever name and you just see so many characters
follow as closely as humanly possible to try to understand what's going on and who's related to
who it's incredible oh he loves it the tyler perry verse truly insane it's it's wide and it
it's it's it's truly it's wild and it's a real treat to be to to be watching this i want to be
i want to get to tyler perry's end game okay i'm done just end game one big cookout the movie's
one giant cookout you have all have all 5,000 characters. Every character. 5,000.
Every single show.
The cult is over in the corner.
Oh, my God.
I'm excited.
Okay, why don't we just jump to a break,
and then we will come back and get into this plot,
because we just have to get into this.
There's no time to waste.
Woo!
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We're back.
Okay, now, Temptation, Confessions of a Marriage Counselor,
which the title alone, what?
Yeah, it's a strange title.
But I guess he's trying to be like,
even people who counsel people on their marriages
can be tempted to step outside the marriage.
But the marriage counselor thing is like a reveal.
Yes, but I knew going in that something was up.
I was like, something's up with this woman.
We knew instantly that there was definitely something happening. And even within the first moment of her telling her tale, I was like, something's up with this woman. We knew instantly that there was definitely
something happening.
And even within the first moment
of her telling her tale,
I'm like, it's you?
Like, it's just like...
But the title,
I don't know,
it's a little bit weird.
So it's written by Tyler Perry,
directed by Tyler Perry,
released March 29th, 2013.
Based on the play,
The Marriage Counselor
by Tyler Perry.
Oh, key detail.
Yeah, yep.
Okay, well, let's see.
You want to start us off here?
Sure.
So a marriage counselor listens to a young married couple,
Bradley and Lisa,
after he refuses to participate further.
Also, it was such like a disjointed conversation
because he was like,
I will do anything to stay here with you.
And she was like, okay.
And he's like, I have to leave. And you're like, whoa. and he's like i have to leave and you're like
whoa oh also for the record this is a caucasian couple yes caucasian couple and you have to know
that the marriage counselor's office looks like um it's like a place you would go to also to cash
a check also to renew your license like one of those government buildings very gray it's a really
weird office it's a really weird office.
It's a very strange office.
And also I felt like he was trying to serve me like Mariah Carey in Precious,
where it was just like kind of sloppy and sad.
And she's like, I'll tell you something.
Completely.
And you're also like, okay, so instantly you're like,
do I care about these people or not?
I can't tell if I'm supposed to.
And you don't need to at all.
No. They are just a framing device. you don't need to at all. No.
They are just a framing device.
There is no need to have them. That we did not need.
It was nothing to frame.
Didn't need it at all.
Didn't need to frame nothing.
You didn't need it at all.
You could have just even seen that woman sitting in the office by herself.
Like, I don't even know.
You don't even need that.
Writing her last will and testament.
But then.
Yes.
That would have been interesting.
But then you don't get the M. Night Shyamalan twist at the end.
You're right.
If it's not set up for you couple tyler night shamalan i'm sorry the marriage counselor notices a change
in the wife's demeanor and assumes she has met someone else and decides to tell her story to
tell her a story about her sister judith but it's so it's so it's such a crazy leap because like
basically that woman's like i'm i kind of want i'm not sure if i want to fix it and so it's so it's such a crazy leap because like basically that woman's like
i'm i kind of want i'm not sure if i want to fix it and the guy's like i really want to fix it then
he marches out and then she's like you met someone else you like them more you think that they're
gonna be better for you and she was kind of like yeah it was so it was such a leap so we're taking
back in time which also wasn't completely clear to me. Yeah. How far back?
We don't,
I'm talking once I,
I mean,
when we see the ending,
when,
uh,
the Bryce has gray hair,
I'm like,
yeah,
how long ago was this?
Exactly.
Also,
but you have a child that's four.
Exactly.
They gave you,
they aged you up for no reason to look like Ernie Hudson.
Exactly.
You very much.
Oh my God.
Yeah. He doesn't very much have a toddler.
Yeah, he doesn't give a fuck about timelines.
Also, this childhood,
I was like,
is this Black Forest Gump?
What is happening?
Real Black Forest Gump energy.
Yeah, you're very right.
So, okay,
we go back in time
to follow Judith
and her childhood sweetheart,
Bryce,
as they grow up.
So we watch them go
from like age four,
seven,
get married.
They move to Washington, D.C. This is why it's too long. I'm sorry, Lauren. I shouldn't be interrupting you. No, no, no. Please interrupt me. up so we watched them go from like age four or seven and i get married they moved to washington
dc long i'm sorry lauren i shouldn't be interrupting you no no no please interrupt me
all the time it was too long and then she's like sneaking out of her house to to see him
the mother's like we didn't need it though we didn't because what we come to find out is that
bryce is not the right man for her ultimately so it's like why do i need to know they have this
history i can understand that from someone just saying we've been together since we've
been friends since we were little and we've been together exactly also exactly so she's narrating
it and she was like so Bryce asked for my hand in marriage and my mom reluctantly said yes and
then the mom goes yes and I was like wow the reluctant yes was the craziest thing I've ever seen. She was like, all right.
It was so weird.
So, okay, Judith, they get married to move to Washington, D.C.
Judith becomes a therapist and works at a matchmaking agency.
And we need to just talk about this, okay?
So, wait, I'm sorry.
Where did you say they moved?
Because I had no idea what city they were in.
They're in D.C., which I don't think was made clear at all.
Okay, now let me paint you a picture.
DC looks like 1940s Baltimore.
The way they have dressed this,
everyone's setting.
Uh,
Bryce owns like a jalopy pickup truck.
Even the pharmacy is like,
so old Woolworths kind of thing.
Like it's super old vibe.
It's,
it's got this kind of,
especially with that start,
which is basically the
Mariah Carey
Always Be My Baby video.
Just them, you know,
as children being in love
and you're like,
okay, this is 1960.
That's the energy there.
But so yeah,
she goes to matchmake.
It's like she's a matchmaker,
which feels really current.
Yes.
And then Bryce,
the husband,
works as a pharmacist
in this like old timey pharmacy.
It says that they're in two separate time periods.
Yes.
Absolutely.
He's old-timey.
She's somewhat current.
And then Vanessa Williams.
No, we gotta talk about her.
So she's French for some reason.
She starts out French.
The French, it's so unclear.
She comes and she's like to Kim Kardashian, which is also a crazy thing.
Oh yeah, Kim Kardashian's there. And she's like, bonjour. Good morning Kardashian, which is also a crazy thing. She's like, Kim Kardashian's there.
And she's like,
bonjour.
Good morning.
I'm like,
we know what bonjour means.
Like,
give me some credit.
Like,
I don't need that one translated.
But like,
she's French
and her accent is really bad.
This does have a payoff later.
Not payoff,
but it has a review.
Another M. Night Shyamalan twist.
She's forgiven for not having done any dialogue training for this.
Because there's a point to that later.
It was terrible, but no one, but everyone acts as though it's not.
This office is supposed to be sleek and fancy.
And Kim Kardashian's in a flesh-toned bandage dress.
And she is just, she is monotone and mean.
Monotone and mean.
She's like, why do you dress like that?
Why are you wearing that?
She's just insulting Dream.
Her in a movie was distracting because I was like,
very few normal people speak like this.
Yes.
A monotone baby.
She sounds like a sad baby.
Because it's like,
why are you dressed like that?
This is a job about looking good.
And she's so obsessed with her with journey not being
dressed well enough and i had no complaints about anything she was wearing i did not i also had no
complaints and she says at one point she was like the way you dress is a reflection on me because
if you dress badly people will think you don't have any friends and we're friends and i was like
she's like and i would have my friends dress like that I was like this is all contrived so Bryce
meets another
employee Melinda
at work
and that's Brandy
and she reveals
she's on the run
from an abusive
ex-boyfriend
well she's starting
her first day
at the pharmacy
and she's
and then of course
old old white lady
does she have a name
the fact is
Tyler Perry's
white people
are always cartoony
so this woman
is at a central
casting
for a 1947 soda shop pharmacy there should be a show called Tyler Perry's white people are always cartoony. So this woman is at a central casting for a 1947 soda shop.
There should be a show called Tyler Perry's white people.
Oh my God.
The pharmacist didn't make our cast list.
I don't know her name.
I looked it up.
It is Renee Taylor.
And I just love her.
She's been in Taylor.
She's got 90.
Yeah.
Her real name is Renee Taylor. I don't know what real name. That's her real name. Yeah, she's got 90. Yeah, her real name's Renee Taylor.
I don't know what her name is in this.
I don't think she had one.
That's the whole point.
She is just unnamed old white lady who says stuff.
No, no, no.
Okay, her name is Ms. Waco Chapman.
What?
Stop.
Waco Chapman?
Is it a hyphenated name?
No.
What? What? No, that's not a single name. is it a hyphenated name no what
no that's not a single name
her name is Ms. Waco
I believe is her first name and
Chapman is her last name
Waco Chapman
this character
could be called woman or we could name her
an insane name
that's what happens when you've
written 5 000
characters yeah you know what i mean the only name left is waco chap exactly he's run out of them
he's like oh god i used judith four movies ago but i feel like people will forget you know
oh my god okay so uh also when she's like running away from her ex-boyfriend, she like puts her hood on.
I was like, who are you, Jessica Jones?
Like, what are you like going to like avenge people's death?
Like, what are you doing?
And then she was like running through the streets and then she gets home.
She gets in her house and she's like holding a baseball bat.
And I'm like, who's in there?
And her home is from 1942.
Thank you very much.
The fridge has not been seen in any place I've ever been in my entire life.
It's a white box that's probably four feet tall,
but it is shaped around and is from a 1950s home.
And the oven is like literally four inches wide and is a piece of shit.
And everything is covered in dirt.
Everything is dirty and sushi. It's sushi. It's like, it looks like, like, I feel like she would have been in dirt everything is dirty and it's sushi it's
like it looks like like i feel like she would have been in what do you call it what was that shirt
the triangle waistcoat fire like 1900s tenement energy is what i'm saying yeah something went
wrong there recently but it's a very old apart i don't know why it's it's it's so it's it's so
weird it's like choice i don't like i't know why. It's so weird. It's a choice.
I don't like,
I always hate when people like show that someone's poor
by making everything dirty.
It's like,
that's not accurate.
Like everything's
going to be covered in dirt.
Yeah.
You can get thee
to a thrift store
and find some really cute stuff.
Yes.
And then,
I don't know,
it was just like
maybe mismatched furniture.
I don't,
there was another way to.
There are ways to show that.
Show, yes.
That she's on the run. Or instability, like maybe she doesn't
have much stuff or something. Exactly.
You don't have to also be poor. You're already on the run.
And she ends up having too much going on as far as I'm
concerned. I completely agree.
Okay. Judith is
dissatisfied with her job and eager
to start her own business. But Bryce tells
her to wait until they're doing better financially.
Bryce takes Judith out for dinner at a
$5.99 buffet.
I think she even said it was $1.99.
Did she say it was the one?
Oh, because that was the $5.99 and it was the upgrade.
Yeah, but he was joking, but like not.
But again, this is the thing.
I get that they're supposed to be like two country kids,
but again, Bryce is a pharmacist.
You need to say this.
In what world is a pharmacist as broke
as they are in the movie?
Judith works at a fancy office as a matchmaker for rich people.
She doesn't need to go to a $1.99 buffet.
I was like, wait, what is happening?
I know.
Who are these people?
Jobs do not line up.
But also, did you notice how Judith really hated her job but also didn't hide it ever?
I was like, why is she still here?
She literally was like, huh?
You want to meet somebody?
That's sad.
You can't just go meet somebody the old fashioned way.
Like she was so, I was like, if I was Vanessa Williams, I would have fired her.
Like she wouldn't even made it into the door.
Cause she literally was like.
I think it was like, she hates it because she's like, I'd rather talk to people who are already married and having issues.
Right.
Oh my God.
She wants to be a marriage counselor
so judith one of her clients that she meets is harley okay she meets him at work and he
attempts to seduce her as they work late on matchmaking surveys he's a black tech billionaire
he's kind of reminding me of what's his name from the wire. One of them skinny boys from the wire anyway.
And he is just like suave,
but also has serial killer eyes.
Absolutely.
He's definitely creepy and really,
really pushy.
So when Harley questions the absence of sex in the surveys,
he's like,
you talk about religion,
you talk about relationships,
you talk about this and that,
you don't talk about sex.
Judas says she does not believe in premarital sex.
And he tells her that her sex life is boring so she's like i'm christian
and i don't believe in premarital sex he's like so you're telling me that man you're with is the
only man you've ever been with and she's like yes and that's fine and he's like and you get into
your bed and you lay down and you fluff the pillows and you just do it in the bed and she's like what's
wrong with the bed and like they just go before that pour it in. It's so crazy. And then she's totally affected.
But for conversations that are meant to be titillating,
and I need you to know these are shot in shot, reverse shot, static.
Everybody is sitting.
There's not a music.
It's the most, that's what makes it so slow.
Because you're like, am I supposed to be impressed by him?
Because y'all ain't even shooting this in a way that looks dynamic,
let alone what he's saying is nothing special.
It's so true.
Like, I don't get why he's supposed to be so alluring.
Like, they don't show anything about his personality
besides the fact that he's a little bit forward with how he talks about sex.
And then later you're like, oh, he's a piece of shit.
Like, nothing about him is good.
Also,
Judith comes home,
slams her husband against the wall
and she's like,
fuck me like an animal.
And he's like,
what?
She's like,
she's never tried to express herself that way.
So she's like,
they're like in the kitchen.
She's like,
do it like,
like,
and he's like,
you can growl at this sandwich
and we'll have sex later
where we fluff the pillows, pull back the duvet. He says it's like, you can growl at this sandwich and we'll have sex later where we fluff the pillows, pull back the duvet.
He says it exactly like he does.
Exactly what Harley said in the previous scene.
And then I was like, is that man stalking her?
I was like, did he like hear it and then repeat it?
Because later we find out he's, you know, we'll get there.
Tyler Perry doesn't trust anyone.
Meaning he thinks his viewers are dumb as
brick so he has to have one person say it in the previous scene not even a callback honey it's just
a repeat and then literally the very next scene it is i'm gonna do the thing that the guy said
do you see how the guy was right yeah we may be like the guy yeah i mean that's that's a tyler
perry style not to keep talking about the oval but but there's a scene where the butler, I can't remember
his name, but his wife cheated on him and had a kid.
And then he's like, who's the father?
She's like, I can't tell you.
He's like, who's the father?
I can't tell you.
For maybe two minutes.
Who's the father?
I can't tell you.
And I was like, this is not a scene.
You can't do this, Tyler Perry.
Just get in and out.
Like, we know what they're getting at.
So redundant.
Okay, so Bryce forgets Judith's birthday
and doesn't notice that she changes her hair.
At work, Judith receives flowers
and believes they're from Bryce.
Harley appears and notes the change in her appearance.
The flowers are actually from him.
And also, this is the second time
he's forgotten the birthday.
This is the second time
her husband has forgotten her birthday.
You need to set up Google calendar alerts
to give you a five day warning to
prepare something. There's
no excuse. If you miss it once
you gotta figure out how to never miss it again.
Exactly. And I mean for a marriage counselor
she is not handling her business. Do you know what I mean?
Because that's something I would have been like
I have been hurt by you in the following ways
when you forget my birthday.
Like y'all need to be,
for people who have known each other your entire lives,
it's crazy that you don't communicate.
That's the part that didn't make no sense to me.
Y'all went through puberty together.
It's also crazy that he forgets her birthday.
You've known her for like your whole life.
Right.
So you know your birthday and her birthday.
Those are the birthdays you know.
It should be like Christmas.
Like you have that one memorized.
So at home, Judith is petty and leaves a cupcake with a candle on the counter.
Bryce realizes his mistake.
And then he like takes out a hat and he sings and he dances in a cowboy outfit.
This was so weird.
What was that?
And that like really worked for her.
Yeah, I was like, Otis Redding, great.
I love him.
What a beautiful song.
But like, you forgot my fucking
birthday exactly and i had to remind you by passive aggressively leaving a cupcake yeah
and then they like reconcile and everything's fine and i was like i don't know about this
i didn't like that that's all so judas so now i hate bryce by the way i'm sorry i hate bryce
the moment he forgets her birthday yes you have to hit everyone hate everyone. But, okay, well, this is the thing.
I'm like, for a movie that's supposed to obviously teach me about the sanctity of marriage and the importance of living by Jesus's principles, the husband is trash.
Yeah.
That is, by the way, like, that's where, as it goes on and on, you go like, I guess the moral is not to cheat.
Like, it's truly like, that is very clear.
So, Judith's boss janice sends
her to new orleans with harley to finalize a deal with shareholders now this is when they're on the
plane he like comes over and tries to like spread her legs yeah i was like this is really uncomfortable
she said no several times she's literally said no he says fine you can you've said no at least you could say you said no and i was like sir
it was a really fucked up way to rape somebody unfortunately yes like it was like she was
but then she's turned on but it's like i mean you know it's an extremely complicated situation
you know put in the guise of it's extremely simple but it's like actually there's so many
layers to that but what it is is he goes like, he's so pushy.
She's saying, no, no, no, I do not want to do this.
And then he goes like, well, that's now basically in the transcript that you said.
Right.
It's on the record.
You're not going to be in trouble with your husband when we now continue to have sex.
It was like, well, yes.
But here's the thing.
Do you remember, though?
I have to go back to this moment because this is the first time we realize he's crazy.
So early on, they established that like harley and judith
have run across each other literally like they both run in the same park every morning yes yes
you're very fit so then there's a moment when he's like oh yeah i'm there 8 a.m every saturday
whatever so then you see the weekend where judith gets up on a saturday morning and like goes and
like pretty much pretends to start running so she can bump into harley but
see and this is how you know god is not into this because the moment she started running with him
a cyclist knocks her over and breaks her foot or something well she runs into the cyclist it is
but harley literally is prepared to beat this man to a pulp but accidentally hitting the girl who
ran into him so that's how you that's
your first flag yes like harley you and she's like harley stop but then i think she like kind
of likes it because she's supposed to like it because her husband wouldn't fight well that's
what's so complicated at night the gang at night oh that was another one where earlier in the movie
there's some guys who say so who like catcall her basically, and she's extremely offended.
Her reaction is so crazy.
It's a dark street.
These like three or four guys say something to her
about her being hot or whatever.
She's with her husband.
She goes like,
come over here and say it to me.
And then like is going insane about it.
And Bryce is like, let it go.
It's okay.
And then they get home and she's like,
you do need to let it go.
Like, I mean, I don't know. That one was just so weird,
but I think that was the exact,
you know, A to B sort of, he's like
this, this guy's like this. He's like this.
Oh my God. This very much reminds me of every
Lifetime movie I watch. I was
thinking about this. I was thinking about this.
You have to watch a lot of people do
insanely dramatic things.
And just say,
and just say like,
make up stupid reasons for doing that.
I mean,
yeah,
no justification.
So,
okay.
So then what happens is Judith's coworker,
Ava,
who's Kim Kardashian gives Judith a makeover in new Orleans,
Judith and Harley complete the business deal and go dancing and sightseeing
when their sightseeing,
they go to cafe Du Monde and he
feeds her a beignet and I was like
no. No. The powdered
sugar will go. No.
It's already the messiest food.
Exactly. And also just in general
feeding someone. Yes.
In public? No thank you.
I don't want anyone putting anything in my mouth.
Lauren I was like honestly worried this movie was going to induce labor.
Because I thought that your fetus was going to be like, I want this to be over.
I need to get out.
And my stress is high.
God, it could have happened.
On the way home, Harley and Judith have sex in his private jet.
Okay, so that's when that happens.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's after the trip. Okay, so that's when that happens. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's after the trip.
Okay, well, I forgot that.
It's like after Kim Kardashian gets her dress to go on the trip.
So now she's fancy for Harley.
She's fancy for him.
Which is also so disturbing.
So then he takes her home
and he meets Judith's mother, Sarah.
He comes up in his shiny red Corvette
or whatever it is.
Yeah, it's a Ferrari.
Oh, Ferrari.
Shameless.
Like literally is like, hello, mom.
You know?
Truly.
He's like, I'm the new one.
Hello.
And she's married.
He's right there.
He's right there next to the mom.
And she knows she has just been forced into sex with this man.
Oh, and her hair's all messed up after that.
Yes.
Oh, this is great.
Her hair is messed up a lot in the movie.
I'm like, wait, why didn't you just brush your hair
after you had sex on the plane?
Yeah, why didn't you do anything to pretend
that you didn't just have sex with this man?
Yeah.
Also, Bryce tries to kiss her,
and she keeps her mouth closed,
and I was like, you're not hiding this well.
No, no, no, no.
So unhappy with Bryce's inattentiveness,
Judith, oh my God, sneaks out to meet Harley and they have sex again.
He demands that she leaves Bryce and offers to help with her business.
They get into a fight and Judith leaves.
This is wild because she sneaks out while her mother is at her house.
Thank you.
While Bryce is there.
And she like goes to have like a full romp with this man I know like
making food and I'm like how much
time has passed I know
it doesn't make any I'm like oh no
oh no yeah I was like
this movie is like three weeks long like
or something like the changes that
happen and oh my god it's insane but it's
the thing that also like made me want to
vomit in my mouth is he's like
I'll help you get your business started.
One condition.
You got to be mine.
And it was just like so gross.
I was like, you are literally like being owned by this man.
Why would you take the money of a stranger, a rapey stranger, who says you have to belong to him
Judith I know you're from the country
but god damn you went to college
well and it's like the second person she's had sex with
so she's like
and then the fight was confusing
because I can't remember what he said
but she's like
screw you and then like throws food at him
she pushes him
she like moves his chairs
and I was like this is wild
he's a psychopath because what had chairs and i was like this is this is a psychopath because
what had happened was he was like you know because he's like you know be mine and then she's like
what about bryce like how do i get out of this right and he literally is like get the fuck out
of here i don't want to play these games she literally like asking you how do i consciously
uncouple and he is like get the fuck out of here. And she's like, what?
He's a psycho.
He's so psychotic.
I just wish someone
had shown her like, okay, Cupid, or something
to be like, if you want to have an orgasm, you have other
options. Oh my God, please.
Yes. So Janice
fires Judith after finding
out about her plans
to go start a new company with Harley,
because basically he's like,
I don't want to do this app anymore.
I want to make a marriage counseling center.
Judith comes in and she's like,
I'm giving you my two weeks.
And then Janice is like,
actually, today is your last day.
And then she's like, good, whatever.
Also, I found out you're from Georgia
and you spent two weeks in France
and you got this dumb ass accent.
And I was like,
Oh,
and then she was like,
get out of here.
So like her,
her accent completely changed.
It was so crazy.
So,
okay.
Bryce discovers Judith is having an affair and begs Judith to return to
him.
Judith chooses to stay with Harley.
Bryce goes over to Melinda's where she comforts him.
Wait,
wait,
wait, wait, that. Is that before?
Is that, that's
the montage of insanity, right? Because
there's a montage where
literally it is just Bryce and
Judith having a pretty woman moment.
And he's just like buying her things.
And she's wearing glasses.
She's so happy that she's rich
now. And I found it to be like the
saddest character. like i was just like
you are so superficial like she just was like yay i don't care who i hurt now i have a dress
and i'm in a car it's like i don't understand i don't understand and it's also so confusing
because i was like you actually had all this available to you before not maybe this level
of wealth he's a pharmacist i'm just gonna keep you doing fine
and then they get into another fight where judith is like in her closet or what oh because he says
something to her and she was like why does your mom leave you in a crack house again
oh well that's that's her what's his name oh harley oh was that am i too am i too
oh yeah we haven't gotten there yet,
girl,
because that's,
after we find out about Brandy.
It's starting to pick up.
Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
Sorry, sorry, sorry.
We have a couple more scenes
in the Maccabins.
Oh, so this is where
he goes to the party
in his pickup truck
and she's like strung out with him?
Yes.
Okay, so they go,
they're at like a fucking
like orgy,
like opium den.
At his house.
His house. Oh, that's his house? I thought it was in his den his house oh that's his house i thought it was no that was
his house filled with every every every extra tyler could round up in atlanta it looked crazy
blue lighting it looks like a club and they're all like on the couch and judith is suddenly like
like yeah it's like i don't know what happened to her,
but she is blonde women on either side too.
So then it's like,
it's Judith in an orgy with Harley and the two white girls.
It was super weird.
It was,
and it was such a leap,
but then Bryce tries to take her and then she like,
she pushes them away.
And then another blonde lady comes out of nowhere and she's like me.
And he's like,
get away,
get away from me.
And I was like, what, what is this party where you enter and then people go okay well i have to fuck this new person totally so judith chooses to stay with harley which is a nice way of putting it they
have a very sad fight she's like out there she's like i like literally she went from like i've
known him my whole life and he's my best friend to like i hate you and your trash and he's like i like literally she went from like i've known him my whole life and he's my best
friend to like i hate you and your trash and he's like so she becomes pure evil which we know tyler
perry loves to do he's like if you're not sure i'll make it very clear you hate her now like
it's just like there's no gray area ever embrace is so sad he says if you come home with me right
now i'll forget about all of this i was was like, you're going to forget picking her up at an orgy?
He forgot her birthday twice.
He could probably forget that too.
Fair.
Bryce is like, he has like memory loss.
And it's like, we need to address this.
He's like, don't worry, I'll forget this.
And she's like, hmm, weighing my options.
Okay, so Bryce goes over to Melinda's where she comforts him.
Judith returns home to pick up a laptop and is surrounded by her no that's not yet where it happens no but when Melinda comforts him
he like tries to kiss her and she's like hey stop it we're not even attracted to each other
when she said we're not attracted to each other I was like you know he's not attracted to you
like I don't know it was just like a funny thing to say like wait what are you doing you're being crazy i liked it it made me laugh because it was just so like what is he doing
and i thought okay tyler isn't totally out of his mind because i didn't think we could live in a
world where literally because the way they set it up too it's like i mean first of all melinda's
brandy right and brandy didn't come here to not be wanted not be loved right and that would have
been like they're gonna get together right and that would have been like
they're gonna get together yeah and that would be an upgrade for her she's trying to escape this
bad relationship and he's like really stable and boring and that'd be great so okay judith returns
home to pick up a laptop which is random and she is surrounded by her mother and church members in
a prayer circle sarah grabs with her harley's with her and he loves he sees all these women in a prayer
circle and he starts laughing like he's like ready to fuck shit up they are together they're the
devil yes then the prayer circle is like you're home she came back she's home like what they've
been praying for had happened and then they're both like get the fuck off of me and they're both like, get the fuck off of me. And they're just like storming through. And then Harley knocks down Sarah.
So hard.
And forces Judith to leave.
He flings her onto the ground.
It's old lady.
And at Harley's, Judith is outraged by his treatment of her mother.
And so she's like slowly rifling through her clothes,
picking out which one she wants to take.
I'm like, just grab whatever.
Like, it's like, get out of there.
Why did you even ride back with his ass? You what i'm saying right he left mama on the floor
just stay there picks her up but then they go back to fight with each other it's like stay
at your house you need to be in the middle of prayer circle okay quite honestly she needed
the prayer seriously and then he assaults her after she attempts to leave and this is very
brutal it is this is where he was like you knocked
down my mom and then he's like whatever and she's like sorry that my mom didn't leave me in a crack
house when i was a baby and then harley i'll say this this actor he did a really great job of like
turning literally fucking insane like you saw him go through the motions of like yeah oh i'm
incentive like this i'm angry i'm angry i'm gonna fuck you up yeah i was like oh he's scary yeah he was
terrifying but it's also like because at first when they're fighting they're both kind of pushing
each other right at first she's going upstairs and like there was something about that fight
where i did feel like that was very before it gets violent where he's like come up the stairs
then she's walking up the stairs and she's like i'll go upstairs if he's like come up the stairs then she's walking up the
stairs and she's like i'll go upstairs if i want to go up the stairs like the way you be saying
shit when you just like want to prove that you're like you don't tell me what to do even though
you're doing the thing the person wants you to do um so at first i was like okay is this going to
be something but then of course it became dark dark dark terrifying because because then he also
says he goes i just love you so much when you don't have
my back it makes me sad it's like yes it's like what is insanity it's like have my back you knocked
my mom on the ground like how much time has passed you love her so much has it been two weeks
i know i know i know there's no time no time at all uh all. So Bryce has dinner with Melinda.
She reveals. Now here's, here's this,
we gotta talk through this reveal.
Yes, yes.
So they're at Brandy's apartment.
Yes, her dirty apartment.
Her dirty 1942 hovel.
Yeah, she makes like one egg on the stove
and they're like having dinner or whatever.
I don't even know what she made.
And then like, she literally,
out of nowhere.
Out of nowhere.
In a moment of silence no one has
prompted her with any question
yes she's like I have HIV
and he's like what
I have HIV my ex gave it to me
Harley and then Bryce goes
no
and then he goes he screams
he screams in her face Judith
Judith
Judith
about the woman who is not present he is screaming at melinda
the name judith like that is something okay but i would have been like harley who i know a harley
harley there's multiple people named harley you definitely have to give the opportunity for it to
not be the person that your wife is now with.
And you also just need to have some compassion and be like, I'm really sorry that happened to you.
Like it was like he jumps right to like flipping out about his own life.
Yeah.
And then she says something that like bugged me.
I was like, this is wild.
She was like, I knew that my ex was cheating on me and sleeping around.
So, you know, i essentially i knew what i
was messing with and it happened and i was like that's my part yeah yeah she said that's my part
in it and i was like no no no that's an insane way to describe it maybe he was trying to like
normalize being hiv positive but like that's not it That's not the way you do it. Well, also I'd say this though,
you want to normalize being HIV positive?
Don't have the girl living in a 1920s tenement.
Totally.
In the dark, in the dirt, you know?
Cause I felt like for something you were trying to like
make a dramatic reveal.
It's like you made her such a,
I mean, she was positive or upbeat,
but her whole situation was downtrodden.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
Like, I just have to start a new job and I got to walk in the dead of night and put my hood up.
It's like, okay, this is not it.
And by the way, for somebody who was running from Harley, Harley didn't seem to be worried about it.
Harley was just doing his thing.
Yeah, Harley didn't give a fuck about her.
He's moved on.
He's extremely wealthy.
He's totally fine and has never thought about
her again it's and i mean and i guess is living with hiv as well but we don't know that about
him and we assume that well that's why he gave it to her but it's like so what you know this
brings back a lot of the issues that we've talked about with like the way men and women are portrayed
where it's like he's thriving even though he is pure
evil yeah brandy is like sweet and nice but like struggling and it's like what am i supposed to
and like and all the women are abused and everyone it's it's just it comes up a lot
yeah yeah it's yeah i don't know the lesson we're supposed to learn so i don't know i don't either
but it's also so he runs away but here's my other thing, too, though. It's like.
I was very surprised.
For me, I was like, OK, this is a thing to give Brandy a moment.
I never I was like, there's no way Judith Miss Good for Jesus.
Judith would have had unprotected sex with this guy.
Right.
Well, maybe she's only had unprotected sex because she's only slept with one person. She was like, and this is what we do for everybody.
Oh, my God. You're right right maybe maybe somebody didn't talk to her about condoms so bryce breaks into harley's place with melinda and finds judith in the bathroom
truly just passed out she's in the bathtub beaten bloody yeah beaten unconscious and you're and
you're like where's bryce bryce is nowhere to be found so after taking then he picks her up he picks
up uh what's her name judith judith and she what i had a really hard time with was that she was like
completely beaten and in this tub and then he picks her up and she's like hi and then even
the back of her face moved like that i was like, it seems like it doesn't hurt.
Is she drunk?
Yeah.
That's the thing.
Was she supposed to be like on drugs or drunk
kind of the entire movie when she gets with Harley?
Because that was the thing too,
because she felt more wasted.
I think so, because she would stumble around a lot.
Like she would get out of his red Ferrari
and like stumble inside and you're like, okay.
So after taking Judith to his truck bryce goes back into
the house and wakes up harley who is just you know taking a real deep snooze after beating up his
woman he got tired he got tired you know i guess face down on the bed across the bed in full
clothing yeah that's like how evil he is and when he wakes up he, he's like, who's here? I don't know you.
What's going on?
So then Bryce beats him the fuck up
and throws him through a window.
I gasped.
I was like,
this is nuts.
It's so nuts.
Oh my God,
it was so crazy.
They fly through this window.
But didn't you feel like
this was the part,
like once that Brandy reveal came,
like what I imagined was Tyler Perry was sitting here writing this movie you know he sets a timer for 45 minutes
and he like just realized he was like oh man i'm this is going too long i gotta wrap this up
and then he just made everything happen within the last 20 minutes this is like my d goes to
jail where my d doesn't go to jail until the last 30 minutes which is so wild her to the jail i thought this was the joke like come on um so he bryce beats
harley until he's like fully unconscious stopped by melinda as harley regains consciousness he
calls out to melinda whose real name is karen and he's just like, Karen, I knew you'd come back. And I was like, sir,
that's not it. But Bryce
threatens Harley to stay away from Karen
and Judith, and they leave.
Now, in the present day,
now this is where I really...
I fully forgot. I fully forgot
we were even in this device.
I got mad at this point.
So, in the present day,
the marriage counselor, the marriage counselor,
anonymous marriage counselor,
wraps up her story
and Lisa wonders how it ends.
That's the white woman.
She's like,
how does it end?
She's riveted.
She's crying.
She's like,
but how?
This is an hour long session,
50 minutes at most.
And you're up in here giving this?
She was like,
and what happened to them?
Like she couldn't care more so the marriage
counselor tells her that and this is the most like morality play type thing ever in the world
the marriage counselor tells her that judith contracted hiv as well but not bryce lisa
thanks the marriage counselor and decides to stay with her it's literally she goes i'll end
all in the relationship i'll stay with my husband I couldn't leave him
what's gonna happen is you're in love
with this other man you're gonna get HIV
and your whole life's gonna fall apart
it's like the craziest version of
what can happen but maybe she'll just be
happier with this other man it's like
who knows what's going on with Lisa
also condoms
yeah wear a condom
come on
Jesus so the marriage counselor is revealed to be judith and if you didn't know that by now
yeah if you didn't know this at the beginning she looked like she's looking like journey's sister
and she got like 27 siblings so i'm like are they related because she's already looking like her anyway but then and then when she's like you know is judith she's like yes she's hiv but
she's still alive and so then after this very long i mean i'm hoping judith didn't charge for the
session and then she leaves and then by the office maybe it was like a five dollar session or something
it's like one of those sliding scale joints definitely and then judith like also again how much time has passed she's
dressed like a geriatric she's so old and she limps she shuffles around she shuffles to the
pharmacy where bryce still works to get her hiv medicine he's now so old 65 he's old but brandy is also still there and is still there melinda
still there but what i kind of drove me nuts was that bryce is played by the same actor melinda's
played by the same actress and care or what's her name judith is not and i think that was like to
throw you that is to throw us off it's like they should all be different then. I don't even know. But I'm still going
like, why is Bryce, he
has now a gray wig.
And then his
new wife. And a prosthetic nose.
Yes.
He did. It was like, what?
It was so confusing.
His new wife
comes in with their child who's like four.
And you're like okay so i i and
the and the pharmacy looks the same so it's like what has time passed he's in charge now right so
obviously waco chapman died and now he owns it because his dream was to own a pharmacy
yes waco chapman passed away. She ate too much candy. I realized at that moment I had seen this very clip of them.
Not clip, like meaning it might have been on TV.
And I saw this part where it was like, she gets this old, this girl goes to get a medicine.
I forgot her name was Waco Chapman.
It was so perfect that you remembered it.
It really made me laugh.
It's insane.
Oh my God.
I remember her like getting her medicine
you know what I mean
and he's like
if you need
and like again
because nothing can be subtle
it is literally him going
I'll do whatever
he's like
I'm always here for you Judith
and then he's
leaving
this beautiful
stunning black woman
and her little boy
and then Judith
kind of waves at the boy
but then you're like
does the woman
know who Judith is
the woman had no idea who Judith was.
And the woman's like 35.
Right.
So his life is like restarting with this young woman.
And Judith like hobbles out.
You win the whole credits.
There are five and a half minutes of credits over Judith's ass hobbling with her HIV medication.
That is how this movie went.
The women have
HIV and the men
worked it out.
The men get to thrive.
Bryce didn't get it.
Bryce is not dead.
Lisa's like,
what about Bryce? She's like, no, he didn't
get HIV.
This is
so crazy.
That's it. She goes to church to meet with
her mother at the end and the credits roll as she as she walks down the street married to jesus
married to the one man she can trust i need years to be put on this i need time stamps like this is
2019 this is 1949 like tell me when it would have been nice to be like when is this shit happening it it made me
like i said it lauren before you came in nicole i was like it made my stomach hurt i found that
ending to be so depressing because if anything yeah what i wanted was the knowledge like bryce
and judith weren't right for each other like they never got to grow they were in like she acted out
and what she did was wrong right and like i would have been totally down if she was like i found god and i realized i treated
you wrong because i know he got in there you know i'm saying but did she have to get h the no she
didn't immunodeficiency virus she didn't have to why i mean i'm and be alone and sad and hobbling yes that's the thing too alone her life
was just so tyler framed it as a punishment and i don't think it's just something that like happens
that i think is what made it feel so bad because it was like every time it came up it was like
and that's because i cheated and it's like wait wait wait wait this is like not indicative of
like a moral decision or something
right it has nothing to do with anything right so it just it did feel like really negative to
put it in that light and i just thought it was it seemed really easy in a weird way like it's
kind of like okay like it just wasn't thoughtful yeah it was also like it's okay if your husband
doesn't remember your birthday and doesn't really talk to you if he's a good christian man
you make him dinner totally yeah they should have made bryce like better as a husband to really make
it feel like then i would have been like okay well there's somebody to root for there was no one to
root for you can even root for melinda because you were like what's the hood what are these boots
is she fucking robin hood wait the boots like oh my god wait
was she wearing the same boots at the end because she had these yes son she was like wearing the
same outfit with a big skirt yeah so all these years she did one shoot day brandy did one shoot
you know that you know that's true she was like one she half the day in a pharmacy the other half
of the day in the small apartment that's a hundred percent of fact there's no question that's so true and they were like we only need one costume you're right so i mean okay let's
jump into some of these awards so the the film won kim kardashian won a razzie for worst supporting
actress okay great and tyler perry was nominated for worst director oh that's good the film
currently has 17% fresh rating
on Rotten Tomatoes
with a critic
from the New York Times
writing
limp pacing
and countless shots
of Washington's skyline
plague the narrative
and yeah
we all missed
where it was
yeah
we had no idea
but audiences
liked the film
for the most part
is a Rotten Tomato
audience score
of 66%
the budget was
37 million
and it grossed 53 million domestically.
Okay.
So not one of his best.
Not one of his best.
No, no, no.
37 is way more than he spends in general though.
Yeah.
I'm surprised it was that much.
Oh, maybe it was Journey.
There were like five actors in four locations.
Maybe Waco Chapman was really expensive.
Renee Taylor is, you know, she's been in the business a long time.
She has a high rate.
And honestly, she should get it.
She should get it.
The trivia from this movie.
So while filming a pivotal scene between Judith and Bryce,
Lance Gross slammed the door of the truck so hard the window shattered.
Which guy is that?
Bryce.
When they're fighting outside the party.
Yes.
Jeez, that's really aggressive.
You see it happen. They kept that take. Well, that's really aggressive. You see it happen.
They kept that take.
Well, there's probably only one take.
One and done.
Right.
But also, that means real glass got on him.
And now I'm worried that he didn't have the on-set medical.
There was no medic.
There was no medic to call.
They said, you'll have to keep shooting.
He said, okay, fine.
He said, okay.
The film is loosely adapted from Perry's 2008 play,
The Marriage Counselor.
And Tyler Perry wrote the role of Ava
specifically for Kim Kardashian.
Because he watched The Devil Wears Prada
and was like, Giselle,
she was stunt casting as an assistant.
I'll stunt cast Kim Kardashian as an assistant.
Oh my God.
That is so true.
Wow.
So I'm trying to figure out how long it took them to shoot this because a lot of times that's one of our trivia things and I love it.
I can't figure that out right now, but it was shot in Atlanta.
I do think he took his time on this.
So it was shot in Atlanta at Tyler Perry Studios.
So that's also one of the reasons why the city stuff always feels weird.
Yeah.
And the rooms
and the apartments
are very much like
the way you would
shoot good times.
Do you know what I mean?
Like you've got
three walls
and it's like
tied in
and I'm like,
okay,
this is all like
a set of a
100%.
Yeah,
very good times energy
but really
just bad times.
No.
Naomi,
does this change your um opinion of Tyler Perry
movies would you watch another one will you watch the oval you know these are the questions absolutely
not okay I'm still mad at both of y'all and that's why I had to keep talking because I said what else
am I here for because they done broke me down with limping ass, old version of Journey.
And I said, this is the saddest shit I've ever seen.
And I swear to God, when it cut back to her finishing the story to the white girl whose husband walked out, I screamed.
Because I had fully forgotten that this was even a conceit.
We did not need that at all.
No, not at all.
Even knowing later that what happened to her character,
I don't think was necessary.
It didn't give you much.
Because it was just so kind of, I don't know.
Just depressing.
Made me feel weird.
Sad.
It could have just been enough for Bryce to have moved on
and her to feel bad.
Right.
That would have been enough without the implication
that all she has is her mom and God now.
Not that having your mom and God isn't enough,
but it's, you know, wasn't what she wanted.
But I think Tyler Perry really,
I think he wanted to like twist the knife
that there's only one pharmacy in town
and she's got to see Bryce.
That's so brutal that she has to go to that pharmacy.
You're right.
Oh my God, yeah, why did she go to that pharmacy?
And the amount of time that's passed now,
since she looks much older,
and she has a whole different head,
it's like, you're like, wait,
so why is her life never got anything going for it?
Except she became a marriage counselor.
That's it, that's it.
The unmarried marriage counselor
who tells everyone,
she tells every single patient that story.
Every single day she tells that story.
Every single day she tells that story.
Just to convince them to stay together.
That's it.
Yep.
She's just telling people to stay together.
How depressing.
Yeah.
This movie was really depressing.
Yeah.
I feel like my love of Tyler Perry is a little bit
waning
I really loved Madea but then like
the last couple Madea movies we saw I was like
there wasn't thought behind it
and I didn't feel like Tyler was being
caring with Madea
I'm genuinely saying this
no it's true because I think we were
like really we came into it like super
open minded and we were like finding things to
love with so many of them.
But there's just,
some of these movies are just like,
they're ridiculous.
Like,
and you have to admit it.
Like,
it's just like,
this is absurd.
The storyline of this,
I like the absurdity in some of the situations.
Like I like,
even when Brandy goes,
I have HIV.
I was like,
okay.
Like it was like,
there's something about it.
That's like so blunt and like not connected
to anything that you're like, that's kind of fun because it's, he's, he just follows
his impulses.
Right.
But then you want, then you, when, after you've watched, you know, 14 of them, you long for
some like structure and you know.
Well, didn't you say though, Lauren, at one point you were like, Brandy's in a different
movie that we don't get to see.
Oh yes. Yes. Well, didn't you say, though, Lauren, at one point you were like, Brandy's in a different movie that we don't get to see.
Oh, yes, yes.
Because you see her at work, and then you don't know what's going on with her at all until she reveals this whole thing at the end.
And you're like, why is this woman?
So for like an hour, I'm wondering what her deal is. And I'm like, where is she now?
What's she up to?
Yeah, it was as if Tyler Perry was like, I do have a B storyline, but it's going to actually be like a Y storyline.
It's going to be so far away from the A storyline.
We'll get back to it when we get back to it.
But like, why?
But then it's also, but to me, I hate that kind of stuff where it's like, then why Brandy?
It could have been any old person from the Tyler Perry verse.
You know what I mean?
Like any old actress.
To me, the moment you put in like such a recognizable like pop star i'm like okay something's about to happen something yes
it's like it does set you up to think something's gonna happen let's like on when like svu like
there's like a celebrity who's like being like okay they're the killer or whatever whatever but
like it feels like that like we were like okay something's gonna happen with her character but then you don't see her for so long that you're like, or not.
There is a world where he just throws her in there because he wanted to.
Because she was in Atlanta that weekend.
Right.
Instead he said, I'm going to give beloved Moesha
slash brand new Norwood HIV.
Because she, I just, it blows my mind.
And blame herself for it.
And blame herself for the HIV. Yes HIV yes she blames herself for staying with
someone who cheated on her
Tyler we gotta talk about
this one yeah yeah
that was dark I agree
well we are coming to the end
um you know which
I think is probably great for you Naomi but
do you have anything you'd like to
plug well look if y'all
listen to these two talk about Tyler Perry you can
come to I love a lifetime movie don't play
okay it is the same type of motion
picture and it is
true insanity and it is
me and a white woman the similar dynamic
to this and we're just
getting into it episodes
drop every Thursday and but we are like sponsored by like. Episodes drop every Thursday but we are
like sponsored by like we are sponsored
by Lifetime so you know we have to be a little
respectful. Yeah
yeah that's tricky
and Couples Therapy. Everyone should listen to Couples Therapy
which I love so much. Thank you so much
I was nervous to promote two podcasts
Oh my god but we'll leave you in the second one
You gotta watch MQ
And you're on Tuca and Birdie.
You have a lot of things to do.
Yes, promote it all.
Tell these people where they can find you.
Come visit me.
I'm hanging out on Instagram at Blackdress Comedy.
Mythic Quest season two is out here on Apple TV.
I'm out here trying to podcast, hun.
I'm opening for Nicole at the improv.
Yes, you are?
I mean, we out here.
Yes, in Irvine.
Nicole's so kind.
Hold on.
Let me find the date.
June 25th, 26th, 27th.
Yes, yes.
Great!
So this will come out in time
for people to go get those tickets.
That's great.
Well, it is sold out.
But they may release more tickets
because I think June 15th
everything is like open again.
Yeah.
So I don't know if they were like half sold.
I don't know. Just look. There sold I don't know I don't there might
just look there might be more check it out check it
out that's gonna be a good show
it's gonna be very fun I can't wait
well it's time for
our five hallelujah segment
it's my favorite thing and I like refuse
to say it I just keep
talking till Lauren says it
I always think maybe this time and then no I have to say it and this yeah i keep talking till lauren says it i always think maybe this time and then
no i have to say it and uh this one comes from curly chirly 11 five stars love this podcast hi
lauren and nicole i love this podcast and i've seen most of the movies in all three seasons
and i enjoy your takes so much i listened to the star wars season three times in a row and still
belly laugh when nicole says hanslo. Listening to the Tyler Perry season,
you guys point out a lack of reactions after big moments.
And I think it's because in a play,
the act would end after the wine bottle.
So he just cuts the scenes in the movies the same way.
Anywho, love you guys.
Can't wait to listen to the rest of the season.
That's a great point.
Yes.
Thank you, CurlyChurly11.
And then we have one from KeyMib and it's called Hallelujah.
Wait, what? You guys are living in my brain rent free i'm a big fan of your pod i anticipate your new episodes weekly i'm having
way more fun listening to these recent reviews of the mcu and i love that even after watching
this many of tyler perry's productions you are still as confused as i am about the character
relationships am i going to dig any deeper to understand oh hell no the fun is being confused
but still can't stop watching keep up
the good work you guys it is very nice
that we consume a lot of stuff and
are still confused like Star Wars
still confuses me Lord of the Rings
still confuses me I have no idea
who's related to who oh I don't know
Star Wars either no
we've done as much research
as people possibly could and yet we're still lost
everyone out there
write more reviews for us
we'll pick more to read
we have one more episode left
so give us five stars
it helps the show
and we'll be back next week
with our final
Tyler Perry episode
boy
boy oh boy
it's the end of an era
yeah I'm like
pretty bummed
but also so thankful
that I was introduced to the oval that I'll talk about for the rest of my life oh my god I'm like pretty bummed, but also so thankful that I was introduced to the Oval
that I'll talk about for the rest of my life.
Oh my God.
I'm going to watch the Oval.
I'm going to watch the Oval.
Oh my God.
I really liked the pilot.
I thought it was so crazy.
So I am going to watch that.
I need some things to binge.
It gets crazier.
And I'll just tell you this real quick.
We've seen the scene where the first sun throws come on this doctor.
The scene after.
Okay. You just said something
real crazy like it was matter of fucking fact the first son is really sick he's not okay um and he
like jerks off in front of people and there's a scene where he throws his cum on this doctor who
very calmly like leaves the room she well she was like like, please stop, please stop. And he's like, I can't, I'm sick.
And then throws it on her.
And then the scene after was truly like Tyler Perry being like,
I don't really know where to go with this.
Because everyone was like, he did something to her.
Is she okay?
What?
Oh, no.
I can't.
You can literally see that he didn't know where to go after.
I'm so upset. Why do you keep upsetting me the pilot alone had them enough crazy shit in it that i mean just the stuff that
happens is so insane all at the white house and you're like yes like the like the first lady and
the president the president's yes the first lady and the president are kicking each other's asses
right before the inauguration ball and like they're beating the president are kicking each other's asses right before the inauguration ball.
They're beating the shit
out of each other and then the reveal
is that they're the president and first lady.
You're just in this hotel room and they're like
punching each other and then
someone's at the door like, Mr. President, it's time for the
ball or whatever.
That's your part, Lauren.
It's time for the bye.
They're pretending they can't hear the fist fight happening on the other side of the door.
It's just truly wild.
Well, Naomi, thank you so much for being here.
Thank you.
That was so fun.
You're welcome.
Okay.
I was going to say thank you, but I just don't know.
No,
no,
no,
that's fair.
No,
thank you guys so much.
So good to see you.
And I am forever changed.
Okay.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye. Thank you. That was a Hiddem Original.