No Such Thing As A Fish - 257: No Such Thing As A Squilkman

Episode Date: February 22, 2019

Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss kissing hedgehogs, the time on Saturn, and competitive ploughing....

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Hello, and welcome to another episode of No Such Thing as a Fish, a weekly podcast coming to you from the QI offices in Covent Garden. My name is Dan Schreiber, I am sitting here with Andrew Hunter Murray, Anna Chazinski and James Harkin, and once again we have gathered round the microphones with our four favorite facts from the last seven days, and in no particular order, here we go. Starting with you, Andy. My fact is that in the 19th century, champion plowers were traded like Premier League footballers. Wow.
Starting point is 00:00:46 I don't know how exactly like Premier League footballers it was. It wasn't for like 10 million pounds. No, exactly. I think the sums are a bit lower, but there was a big thing where there were lots of plowing competitions in the 19th century, where you had to plow up and down a field, and there are all these metrics in plowing about whether you're doing it right or wrong, and squires who had lots of plowmen would kind of pet them against each other, and then the winners would win a year's wages, and then they might be transferred for a fee.
Starting point is 00:01:15 Can I ask what a squire is, because I associate that with King Arthur times, and this is the 19th century. Probably where it started. Yeah. So that's a kind of assistant to a nobleman, isn't it? Okay. In the later times, it's more of a junior aristocrat, sort of a landowner, I think. So for example, you get the word squierarchy, which is a word for quite affluent families
Starting point is 00:01:39 from the country. It's not a very common word. I think do you get the word... Don't use it casually in pub conversations. It's a less common word. I think you used to get a squishup, which is someone who is a squire and a bishop. That's great. Oh, wow.
Starting point is 00:01:54 Again, don't use that in normal conversation. Do they just do that like Squawkman, who delivers the milk, but also is a squire? Does that just apply? Smashing the words? So it was landowners, and they would have these competitions so that their land got plowed, basically. And so, like for instance, the first one ever in Kent was in 1867, or the first big one in Kent, and that was run by a guy called Mr. Hart Dyke, who owned a massive amount
Starting point is 00:02:22 of land in Kent, and who then later had children, who had children, who had children, who had Miranda from the TV. Miranda Hart. Oh, wow. Wow. And Tom Hart Dyke, who we know. Yeah. Oh.
Starting point is 00:02:37 He's still, he works in agriculture to an extent. He plants things. Yeah. So there's a massive garden in Kent, which he runs from his ancestral home, which was where this plowing competition took place. Wow, is it? That's so cool. On the side note, he was famous for being stolen or kidnapped by gorillas out in the
Starting point is 00:02:57 Dorian Gap. Wow. And they held him for months, and they let him go finally, and then he went back to get directions. Yeah. And while he was kept by the gorillas, they, or the gorillas, he, like, I kind of... You can't say it, Kenny. You can't say it.
Starting point is 00:03:12 Yeah, he did. Well, Dan pronounced it so profoundly like the word gorillas, it was like they were emphasizing it. It was important that you clarify. I'm slowly realizing we're talking about humans and not actual gorillas, it's the humans that took him. Yeah. So while he was kidnapped by these fighters, he kept like a little garden, didn't he, where
Starting point is 00:03:30 he was kept, and like he would ask them for plants and stuff like that to kind of keep him sane. A squirrilla is someone who's a squire and a gorilla, a squirrilla. I should say that where this comes from, because it's a really good story, it's a Guardian long read on the World Plowing Championship, and it's an incredible read, it's 5,000 words of plowing action, and it's so good. So there are all these things you have to do right. Basically you have to plow up and down, and plowing, we should just say what it is, it's
Starting point is 00:03:58 turning soil upside down, basically. So you're inverting it, which means that you're bringing nutrients to the surface, and you're plowing weeds and other plants back into the earth so they break down and they feed the soil. So the aim is that you've prepared a field for planting. Yeah, that's what plowing is. Yeah. Is it necessary?
Starting point is 00:04:18 Maybe we'll come on to that later. Yeah. A lot's happened. Plowing is very controversial in this day and age. Is it? Yeah. Because it kills the soil. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:04:28 Ruins farms. No. And we've been doing it for thousands of years, and now people have suddenly started doing this thing called till-free farming, or no-till farming, where they've realized you can just spread the seeds on unplowed land, and they can actually get better yields. Not having it happen. I mean, they don't ruin the land. Not having it happen.
Starting point is 00:04:44 Talking to crazy. I've been doing it in South America for years because their land isn't as robust as ours, and so they've realized that it's been really drying it out and ruining the nutrients because the idea is that we suddenly disturb this massive ecosystem with this plow. You dig down. You wrench up all these insects and stuff, and you plop them on top, and they don't know what they're doing. Well, it's an argument, but the experiments are happening, and they're getting kind of
Starting point is 00:05:06 similar-ish results to plowed fields, so there might be something in it. I mean, imagine if it turned out plowing had been totally pointless all of these years. Wow. I mean, it hasn't been. There's been these amazing competitions going on. That's what you think about it, and they say it's the biggest event in Europe, the one that happens in Ireland, the outdoor event. In 2017, 291,000 people went along to the plowing competition.
Starting point is 00:05:30 I read an article about it, and it said that two-thirds of the attendees have absolutely no interest in agriculture whatsoever. It's because it's a huge event. You know, when you sometimes go to a village show because you're a bit bored of a Saturday, it's like a massive version of that. It's a festival kind of thing, isn't it? And that attendance is twice as much as Glastonbury. Here are some of the things that you can actually see at it, so outside of the plowing, there's
Starting point is 00:05:51 a robotic milking machine that milks 40 cows, so you can watch that. There's a pesteront, which serves mealworms and crickets, local locusts. Tractor football, so that's one of the new championships, yeah. So it's teams of tractors push a giant football around a field, and then they say there's the RTE tent where they have a very famous commentator slash news broadcaster called Marty Morrissey, and you can meet him, and then they say in brackets, or his cardboard cutout. Yeah, it's a massive deal.
Starting point is 00:06:26 And the same person has been the head of the National Plowing Association, which is the organisation that runs it for 68 years now. It's this 85-year-old woman called Anna May McHugh, who I think is a bit of a legend there, basically. And so it's quite impressive that she's a woman, because only about 2% of plowers who enter these contests are women. And she said, I was reading an interview with her, and she was saying that there's this contest for farmerettes, which are the female farmers, and they sort of compete over who's
Starting point is 00:06:57 going to be Queen of the Plough, and it used to be that the Queen of the Plough, if you won that title at the contest, you were given 100-pound dowry as long as you were married by the age of 25. Wow. That's good. Right on, sister. Actually, on that, the first farmette competition was in 1954, that was the first time they allowed women in, and not many people were happy about it.
Starting point is 00:07:19 Some people said it was introducing Hollywood Razor Mataz at its worst. Sounds like it. They weren't introducing May West in anything, were they? They also said that you were allowed to enter it if it was open. This is from, I should say, this is from Andy's article, not your article, but the one that you forwarded to us, which, as Andy says, is fantastic. The farmette class was open to girls and women that were single, married, or widowed, which are the three, I guess, options of life, generally.
Starting point is 00:07:50 But not divorced. Yeah, not divorced. Get right out of here. You might be right. Just while we're on plowing and sexism, there is a really interesting theory that plowing created sexism in the first place. Strap in. It's so good.
Starting point is 00:08:05 I wonder why you were so against plowing, Anna. So plowing is invented with agriculture roughly 10,000 years ago, 10 to 8. The original plows were called scratch plows, so they don't turn the soil over. They just literally dig a little trench through it, and you don't need too much strength to do it. But you do need quite a lot of upper body strength to do that. And before that, lots of women have been in charge of fields and cereal growing because they were using hose.
Starting point is 00:08:33 And then, when plowing is invented, and I mean hose is in the world, the subject of sexism, I thought you'd probably have to use to plant the crops. Do you think that's where the phrase, pros before hoes comes from? But then when plowing is invented, suddenly the men were in charge, and in Mesopotamia there's this flip from mother goddesses to male gods. And this is the really weird thing. This still happens today, as the effects might still be being felt. So women descended from plow-using societies are much less likely to work outside the home
Starting point is 00:09:10 or BMPs or run businesses, whereas in countries like Rwanda and Botswana and Madagascar, which are mostly hoe-using places, and everyone's giggling again, but in those countries, women are much likelier to be in the labor force. But what's the reason that it drove women out? Is it the weight of the plow? So it was when people had to pull the plow or direct the animals. The first world plow champion was a guy called Jim Eccles from Ontario, and the only write-up I could find said that he was so shy he only entered because his friends taught him into
Starting point is 00:09:41 it. And the second champion was Hugh Barr of Antrim, and Eccles only came eighth in this competition because, according to the article I read, he had the bad luck of drawing a plot with a bump in it. So it's all down to how lucky you were with your little bit of field. Well, it's about how you deal with these obstacles, you know? It's true, and all the international competitors in that second one, which was in Ireland, hated it because they had stony fields in Ireland and you didn't get stony fields anywhere
Starting point is 00:10:09 else around the world. So you have to clear the stones out of the way, I think, before you start. So Richard Herring, who's new podcast, is about him clearing stones from fields. Is he secretly training for the next international plow championship? OK, it is time for fact number two, and that is James. OK, my fact this week is that the American Center for Disease Control has won against kissing hedgehogs. How come?
Starting point is 00:10:39 Because they can give you illness. They can give you salmonella, specifically, and there have been 11... In January, they said that there have been 11 people in eight states who have got a strain of salmonella, and in 10 of the 11 cases, the people had reported recent contact with a hedgehog. It's too much to be coincidence. It's too much. It's too much.
Starting point is 00:11:02 I can only think that the 11th person is lying. This happened in Missouri and Minnesota and Colorado, Maine, Mississippi, Nebraska, Texas and Wyoming, and we already knew that hedgehogs can give you salmonella, but it seems like it's a particularly bad strain at the moment in America. It's so widely spread across all the different states that it makes you think as though each state has one person, and they all know each other, and they just have a hedgehog kissing club, and they just like sending videos around to each other. Or it could be just one widely traveled hedgehog who's just going around attacking people.
Starting point is 00:11:35 Is it French kissing that they're doing with hedgehogs, or is it just cuddling? It doesn't specify, but I think it's nuzzling. If you imagine like, you could do that if you're a small child with a hedgehog, wouldn't you? If you had a hedgehog, I would definitely kiss it at some point. Would you? Yeah. Okay.
Starting point is 00:11:53 I get attached. No. It's edible, right? So, they don't even have to have snogged it. Some hedgehog owners might have just been near it, and it's got in the dust between the hedgehog and the person. Can do, but it dies quite quickly in the air, I think. Maybe you hold the hedgehog, and then you put it down and you suck your finger for whatever
Starting point is 00:12:11 reason you like. You can suck your finger for any reason. So, you shouldn't, incidentally, while we're on giving advice about what to do with hedgehogs, you shouldn't have sex with them because in 2007, a Serbian man needed emergency surgery after he had sex with a hedgehog on a witch doctor's advice. She told him it would cure his premature ejaculation, and it actually just left him severely lacerated because they're covered in needles. Anywho, sorry, Salmonella.
Starting point is 00:12:42 Yes, so other animals in the US that can give you Salmonella, or that have given people Salmonella in the last few years, include chickens, ducklings, guinea pigs, frogs, turtles, geckos, and bearded dragons. Ooh. It's all given people Salmonella recently. All from kissing? Or from... I don't know.
Starting point is 00:13:01 I don't know what kind of... You think undercooked bearded dragons, you know, and you eat slightly undercooked bearded dragons. You often feel sick afterwards. Turtle was on that list, and I was reading a story of in China, there was a man who made the news not too long ago because he decided to get rid of his pet turtle, so he was releasing it back into the wild, and as he did so, he decided to give it a goodbye kiss. But unfortunately, it was a snapping turtle, and it grabbed onto his lower lip and refused
Starting point is 00:13:26 to let go. And you can see video footage of his face, which does not look good. Basically, it kind of locked on and didn't come off. Wow. Yeah. So don't kiss turtles as another... I think just don't kiss other animals. Is that...
Starting point is 00:13:40 Well... So there is a study. I think it was in 2015, and it was analysing, you know, how people kiss their dogs. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I include that in animals. Yeah. No, you're right, so.
Starting point is 00:13:53 But it was at the University of Arizona, and they were trying to find out whether the microbes in dog guts might be good for humans, and whether they might actually... It's like having a probiotic yogurt, basically, kissing a dog. Right. It is not as delicious. But this is really weird. Dogs and their owners end up having very similar gut bacteria. So you end up with the same kind of microbiome, and so the study was pairing people with
Starting point is 00:14:19 dogs for three months and testing them to see if there was any change. Yeah. So does that mean it's a good idea to kiss your dog, because at least that you won't get strange bacteria, or it's kind of pointless, actually, because you're not getting any new bacteria you didn't have already? Yeah. I think they were saying it could have good effects, but also obviously it could have bad effects, because...
Starting point is 00:14:37 What a useful piece of advice. It probably means if you have your dog's bacteria in your stomach, then it'd be easier for you to digest dog food. Yeah. Come Brexit. We can all get out the pedigree, Chum. Do you guys know the... What do you think is the food stuff that most commonly gives people salmonella?
Starting point is 00:15:02 Chicken. Eggs. Beardy dragons. Salmon. Salmon. I used to think that. I used to think salmon. Really?
Starting point is 00:15:11 Salmonella, yeah. I'm sorry. It was just found by a guy called Salmon. Salmon. No. Is it salad or something? It is, yeah. It's leafy greens.
Starting point is 00:15:19 Oh. So I didn't know this. We don't give them enough stick. It's cucumber and melon are responsible for 20% of cases of salmonella, whereas chicken is only 19. Oh. What a stick. Enormous difference.
Starting point is 00:15:30 Hey, it just overtook it at the last minute. I'm immediately going to go home, throw away the balance and replace them with raw chickens. Anyway, this is true and generally meat, so chicken, beef and pork account for 33% of salmonella poisonings, whereas leafy greens, again, a huge lead with 35%, and so we never talk about that. And I think the salmonella you get from the meats can be a more virulent strain, so produces the most deaths, but really avoid salad, I think is the next piece of advice. I think that's good advice.
Starting point is 00:16:03 He said that it was invented, it was discovered by Mr. Salmon, actually discovered by his assistant, Theobald Smith, Daniel Salmon was the other guy, and Theobald Smith was also the first person to discover that ticks could spread disease, and he also discovered anaphylaxis. Did he know? Oh, yes. He's quite a big deal. That is a big deal. It feels like he didn't get the credit he deserved there.
Starting point is 00:16:25 No. Yeah. Smith and Ella is probably a hard word to say. You're right. Anaphylaxis is sometimes called the Theobald Smith phenomenon, but again, don't use that in conversation because people have no idea what you're talking about. I think if you're ringing 999 when someone's having anaphylactic shock, don't say he's suffering the Theobald Smith phenomenon to sound clever.
Starting point is 00:16:46 Hedgehogs? Yeah. Yeah. There was a tradition in the Victorian times of having a hedgehog in your kitchen to go around eating insects. Oh, wow. Hedgehogs seem to make quite fun pets for some people, so they love running in their wheels. I didn't know.
Starting point is 00:17:01 They say they love running in their wheels more than anything, so like a hamster, but more enthusiastic, and I was on these sites which were giving advice about how to keep hedgehogs. They were saying you've got to take the wheel away as soon as the hedgehog gets pregnant because they love the wheel so much that they'll keep running while they give birth, for instance. Wow. They'll often then trample down the thing they've just given birth to because they'll keep running. No way.
Starting point is 00:17:22 They'll look after their babies because they're too busy running in the wheel, and sometimes they pick up the little hoglets, so that's what you call the little hedgehogs, in their mouth to take them onto the wheel, so at least they're with them, but then they'll just run over them. It's like heroin. It's like heroin, yeah. It's like hedgehog heroin. That's another thing you shouldn't indulge in while pregnant, I believe, a special
Starting point is 00:17:40 advice. That's amazing. That is incredible. Yeah. During pregnancy. They have very loud sex, hedgehogs. Do they? Yep.
Starting point is 00:17:49 Very loud sex. They're sleeping with a man from Serbia. Oh, for God's sake, already? They do have loud sex, even when having sex with each other, and there was a man in Germany who called police once. He was in his apartment, and he was reporting heavy panting happening under the common stairwell in his house. So, he called the police saying, can you stop these heavy panters, and the police came around,
Starting point is 00:18:15 and they just found two mating hedgehogs under the stairs, and as the police spokesperson said, we just found two hedgehogs loudly engaged in ensuring the continuity of their species, and so they left them to it. Right, yeah. Because they lasted a long time, which is why they were still doing it when the police came around. They can go on for hours, which again, I guess, is why they particularly believe it's more Serbian.
Starting point is 00:18:40 OK, it's time for fact number three, and that is my fact. My fact is, scientists have finally worked out what time it is on Saturn. And what time is it? It's, well, yeah, we don't know, we know how long it is on Saturn. I can't tell you exactly right now what time it is on Saturn. I can tell you how long a day is on Saturn, and that's what they've worked out. It's 10 hours, 33 minutes, and 38 seconds. Now, this is new from what we thought decades ago, up by, as the article says, several minutes.
Starting point is 00:19:12 It's a very interesting reason of how they found it out. So Cassini, which was the spacecraft, which has been taking all the images that we have of Saturn, it was an incredible mission that has ended now. I believe that the Cassini is actually burnt up into Saturn's atmosphere now. But everyone was looking for how long it took to rotate by looking at the planet. And there was a student of astronomy at UC Santa Cruz, who started looking at the data about the rings of Saturn, and what they noticed that the rings themselves started taking impressions of them, kind of like how if you were having a earthquake on Earth,
Starting point is 00:19:47 you could use seismology to work out how strong it was, say. They were noticing that a similar thing was going on with the core of Saturn that was releasing certain seismological waves that were being recorded in the rings. So what the guy did was he made a simulation of how fast the core would be turning by using the waves that were imprinted on the ring on a computer simulation. And by doing that, was able to match it up with what the spin would be. And that came out at 10 hours, 33 minutes and 38 seconds. When they discovered the rings, it was a pretty confusing episode.
Starting point is 00:20:20 So Galileo, the first person to observe the rings and describe them. Poor guy, this is in 1610. And he saw it with a telescope. And he sent this cryptic message to Kepler saying, I've seen the highest tri-form planet. And Kepler told King Rudolph and Rudolph said, what the hell are you on about Galileo? And Galileo said, I think it's three planets side by side, because he was sort of seeing it as three.
Starting point is 00:20:42 But then, so he wanted to have another look at it. So he waited a couple of years for some reason. And then after a couple of years, what he didn't realize was that he was observing them at the Saturn ring plane crossing. So that is when Earth crosses into the exact plane of Saturn's rings. So it happens about once every 13 to 15 years. And at that point, because they're so flat, if you're looking at them face on, you can't see anything.
Starting point is 00:21:06 So they completely disappear. So Galileo looked, they totally gone. And he was really freaked out. He said, I have no idea what's gone on. I'm so sorry. It seems like I've lied. That's bad luck. It's really bad luck.
Starting point is 00:21:15 How often does that happen? Every 13 to 15 years. God, so it's the same thing of that timing. If we didn't look again, we would assume that it didn't have it. But it was just that little blip where suddenly it just doesn't to us. And then he called me again a bit later. Oh yeah, yeah, the second check. How did he know it was the same one?
Starting point is 00:21:32 I would have thought I've just seen a different one. A different planet? I guess that's what astronomers do for a living, isn't it? They could predict where the planets were going to be. They knew which was which. He was a smart guy, Andy. Okay, well. It's not that you're not, but probably in different ways.
Starting point is 00:21:48 Yeah, I would like to see him improvising a J. Dustin play. I think we all would actually love to see that. Amazing. I'd actually go and see it. But the rings of Saturn, they're 180,000 miles wide, and they're only 300 feet high. That's crazy, isn't it?
Starting point is 00:22:06 They're 400 kilometers wide, like the actual ring bit there. So they're that many miles across. Around the, from one end of the ring, to the very farthest on the other side of the planet. Yeah, yeah. But yeah, they are incredibly flat. I think someone worked out that if they were the equivalent of paper, so if they were the thickness of paper,
Starting point is 00:22:25 then you'd need a sheet of paper that was 1.7 miles across. That's the equivalent. There's a theory that I just saw in the new scientists this afternoon, which says that the planet Pluto might be a billion comets squished together. That's how all the planets are really, aren't they? They're just bits of rock and dust squished together. I guess so. I think there was an alternative theory,
Starting point is 00:22:45 but I literally just saw it as we sat down. So even Saturn began as a pebble, just begins as a pebble going around, and then another pebble squashes into it, and then bigger pebbles, bigger pebbles. Eventually you've got Saturn. That's quite, that's such a nice fable. You'll make a great dad, Jane.
Starting point is 00:23:03 Your kid's feeling a bit small. You can always say even Saturn was once a pebble. That's great. And look at him now. Look at him now. Or her. Did you guys know, just speaking of sort of time and space, that there are two different days on Earth?
Starting point is 00:23:17 Do we have two different days? There are seven in a week. Oh my God, I've been saying that all wrong. Oh my God, what's after Tuesday? It's not Monday again. It's embarrassing. No, there are two different types of day on Earth. So there's a solar day, which is the one that we know,
Starting point is 00:23:34 which is the 24-hour day. But actually the more legit day. So if I asked you, what is the definition of a solar day? How quickly we spin round? Yeah. How many degrees have you spun round? Yeah, 360. Incorrect.
Starting point is 00:23:49 It's actually a tiny bit more than 360. More than 360. So a sidereal day is 23 hours and 56 minutes. And that's how quickly the Earth does one rotation of 360 degrees. But actually, because we are also rotating around the sun, every time the Earth rotates, in order to get from midday one day to exactly midday the other, it needs to spin that tiny bit more,
Starting point is 00:24:12 because you've moved around a bit more. So our 24-hour day is actually, you're spinning around a bit more than 360 degrees. And I didn't know that. Wow. How does that affect our working life and pay and stuff? Well, so I think what you can say is, actually the day is four minutes shorter than you thought.
Starting point is 00:24:28 So you can go home from work four minutes earlier than you planned. Amazing. Great. You're going to change your life. Let's do it. Yeah. Finish now. Just stop this podcast four minutes before the end.
Starting point is 00:24:39 Yeah, so do you know how long the day is on the sun? How long it takes the sun to rotate once on its axis? Yeah, as opposed to when it's light, which is all the time. It's 24.5 Earth days on the equator, but 34 Earth days at the poles. And this is always a problem, isn't it? Because they're big gas things
Starting point is 00:25:00 and things are spinning at different speeds. Yeah. So if you're on a holiday, you would have your holiday at the pole of the sun, because you get longer. Still hot this time of year. I don't know if you want longer. I think you want to shorten that holiday as much as possible
Starting point is 00:25:13 if you're holidaying on the sun, don't you? Well, unless you've got very good... Good factor. Good factor sun cream. That's amazing though. It has two different days, or three, even infinite. Endless different days. Okay, yep.
Starting point is 00:25:24 So Saturn, Saturn is a god in Roman mythology, right? So there's also Jupiter. Jupiter, all the planets are gods, basically. Not Earth. Apart from Earth. All the planets, unless you count Gaia, who's a Greek goddess. But Jupiter's the fifth planet, then there's Saturn the sixth. Jupiter's father is Saturn, right?
Starting point is 00:25:47 Right. And then the next planet is Uranus. And Uranus is the father of Saturn. So Jupiter, next planet, father, next planet, father again. So the solar system is basically a big... Who do you think you are? Yeah. In some traditions, Mars, the fourth planet,
Starting point is 00:26:03 is the son of Jupiter. So yeah, it's like a family tree going outwards. That's a way you can remember. And so is Uranus' father Neptune? I think we didn't know about Neptune. The father of all the guns is that cartoon dog from... That is really cool. That's really cool.
Starting point is 00:26:24 Yeah, it's Pluto knocked out because that just didn't work for the system. It actually is a planet, but they're like, no, no, no. Okay, it is time for our final fact of the show, and that is Chazinsky. My fact is that the first ever blood transfusion to be scientifically recorded used a goose quilt to connect an artery in the neck of one dog to the jogular vein in the neck of another. Wow, amazing. And it was successful.
Starting point is 00:26:51 The dog was okay. One of the dogs was okay. It was half a success. It was a... Well, the dog was okay that they wanted to be okay. The dog that was receiving blood. Exactly. So it's actually quite mean.
Starting point is 00:27:02 This was done in 1666 by a guy called Richard Lauer, or Lauer, who was from Cornwall, and he traveled up to the Royal Society in London and did it in front of an audience. And he apparently got a medium-sized dog. I don't know why the size was that relevant, but he severed its jogular and bled it until it was approaching death, and then thought, okay, cool, now we can see if we can save this dog.
Starting point is 00:27:24 And he did that by then sort of severing the artery of a secondary dog, attaching a quilt between the two and siphoning the blood from the secondary dog into the next one. But then you need a third dog to save the second dog. And they call that day the massacre of 500 dogs. No, it would only ever be the massacre of one. It's only ever the last dog on the conga line that dies. Could you not like put it in like a circle
Starting point is 00:27:46 so that everyone gets everyone else's? Oh, yeah. Wow. He should have done that. I don't know why he didn't do two goose quills and swap them, but no, he didn't. He just bled the second dog. You could put it in a second quill at the back end of the dog, couldn't you?
Starting point is 00:27:57 One in the neck of the dog and one in the bum of the dog. I think it works like that, doesn't it? And then you get the blood just going around, you know, you've got two hearts, you've got two circulatory systems. Yeah, just like a circuit. I know the blood doesn't go from the head to the bum in the back. Yeah, I think that would work. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:28:14 He said the transfusion came to an end when the omitted dog, which is the one who gave the blood, began to cry and faint and fall into convulsions and at last die. Yeah, they weren't. The animal rights weren't as strong in the olden days. I'm afraid not. But it was successful, which is kind of weird, actually, because just like humans, really,
Starting point is 00:28:33 when you're doing blood transfusions in pets, it's good to have the same blood type. I think dogs have the same blood type. I know cats have A, A, B and B. Yeah, I think they're different A's and B's, aren't they? As in they're different proteins on the... Oh, are they? I believe so, yeah.
Starting point is 00:28:48 But hang on, would a... That's, I've never considered that. Would a Great Dane have different types of blood to a Scotty? Because they're all the same species. So all dogs can give blood to all other dogs, by a feeling they can't give it to humans because of the ants' genes on the... Yes, although I didn't know they could give it to all other dogs.
Starting point is 00:29:06 I think so. It's the same species, isn't it? It's just different breeds. Yeah, but all humans can't give blood to all other humans. Oh, sorry. No, yeah, you're right. Yeah, so it's the same as humans, as in some birds. So a Taipei Scotty and a Taipei Shnauza could... Yes, that would be...
Starting point is 00:29:16 Yeah, yeah, yeah. If you're a bird, any kind of bird, then you can have a transfusion from any other kind of bird. Wow! So a robin could donate to an ostrich, but you'd need quite a lot of robins. That's incredible. So donating blood between animals,
Starting point is 00:29:35 they started injecting blood from, let's say, a calf into a person. That was a few... A year later, after this first experiment, and he died, so it was banned for a long time. The person died. But there was this weird rash of cases in the mid-19th century where doctors just started saying, well, milk will probably work just as well,
Starting point is 00:29:55 and putting milk into people's bloodstreams directly. Yeah, they thought... Because it's got these little oily droplets and fatty droplets, they thought, well, they might turn into white blood cells. There were two doctors called Bovell and Hodder, and this is all from... I found this journal called Transfusion, and this is the 1969 edition,
Starting point is 00:30:13 but they wrote out the whole thing. And their first patient was said to respond dramatically to 12 ounces of cow's milk, but two of the patients who they transfused the following week died, and people kept dying as well. Well, they say it was pawned dramatically. It doesn't really. And it happened for 25 years at least
Starting point is 00:30:34 that people were just putting milk into your blood. Well, that's how they started doing it even in the 17th century. So Christopher rendered a lot of this bizarrely before he got into building cathedrals, but he was involved with Richard Lau with his first transfusion, and he used to inject dogs with water, milk, beer, wine, and opium to see if any of them worked as blood transfusions. He once said,
Starting point is 00:30:54 I have injected wine and ale into a living dog into the mass of blood by a vein in good quantities till I have made him extremely drunk, but soon after he pisseth it out. But also the idea of putting animal blood into humans, there was a big theological debate about what you would be doing if you were putting foreign blood into someone else's body, because supposedly the soul would be contained inside some of that blood.
Starting point is 00:31:19 So you're altering the whole person. So what they used to plan out was if they were going for someone who was a bit wild, they would get sheep's blood because that was a calm, nurturing, Jesus-like animal that would then give a sort of balance of a soul to this wild character. Equally, if they had someone who was very shy, they might adopt an animal that had a bit more of a wild attitude,
Starting point is 00:31:40 and the idea was to inject them with that blood. Yeah. Although it's so sheep are Jesus-like. Lamb, lamb of God. Lamb of God. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. Samarities. There's a weird thing.
Starting point is 00:31:52 This is so on just taking blood and putting it into other people. We've said before, you know the Secret Service in America. They have several pints of the president's blood type. In his car, which is pretty cool, but I read this piece in The Atlantic about how the Secret Service was protecting Barack Obama's DNA because, you know, we all shed millions of cells a day. Yeah. So the DNA is intact.
Starting point is 00:32:16 So if you, let's say the president shook hands with you and you got a few live cells, or he sneezed and he threw away the tissue, you could make, you can now make cells into other cell types. So you could make synthetic sperm cells from the president's sneeze in a tissue, and then you can, you know, they can't fertilize eggs with them, but you could say, oh, look, we've got evidence of this. So they could, what they thought is they might clone Barack Obama. I think it's not exactly that you'd make another president.
Starting point is 00:32:45 Why do you want another Barack? Why do you want another one? Who doesn't want another Barack Obama? At this stage, I'll take a sterile sperm cell Barack Obama is president of America. But you could, so you could fabricate evidence of an affair, or you can, or for example, you can analyze the genetic markers of diseases, so you could say, well, he's more prone to Alzheimer's or to this heart disease,
Starting point is 00:33:07 and you could cast doubt on their legitimacy that way. You could prove that he was born in Africa. Yeah. You could. Yeah. So this is a real problem. So do they presumably have Trump's DNA as well? I think a lot of people have Trump's DNA.
Starting point is 00:33:23 In Japan, blood type is a super important thing, isn't it? I don't think we've mentioned before. I think we've done it on QI, but it's on job applications and stuff. It's so related to, thought to be so related to who you are and what you're like. Kind of like how we see maybe star signs, but much more believed in and invested in. And yeah, you'll have to say on your application what blood type you are. But they, I mean, saying horoscopes, they, in the morning TV shows in Japan, they have the blood type horoscopes.
Starting point is 00:33:50 They do do that. That's so weird. Yeah. And on an Asian, Asian countries on their Facebook profiles, that tends to be a thing and you're about, you would have your blood type in there because it tells you a lot about who you are for potential, you know. I didn't even know what my blood type was until earlier this year. That's weird, isn't it?
Starting point is 00:34:08 I still don't know mine. I always call my mom whenever I need to know it. She knows it. Well, she's very death though. So she always says, eh? She's a swear. I need to know my blood type. Oh, a B.
Starting point is 00:34:26 Thanks, mom. A, B. Okay, that's it. That is all of our facts. Thank you so much for listening. If you'd like to get in contact with any of us about the things that we have said over the course of this podcast, we can be found on our Twitter accounts. I'm on at Shriverland.
Starting point is 00:34:44 Andy. At Andrew Hunter. James. James Harkin. And Anna. You can email podcast at qi.com. Yep, or you can go to our group account at no such thing or our website. No such thing as a fish.com.
Starting point is 00:34:54 We have all of our previous episodes up there. We also have a page of links to all the tour dates that we're going to be playing in the next few months and look out for some European ones. Very exciting. We're going to a place called Europe. Okay, we'll be back again next week with another episode. We'll see you then. Goodbye.

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