On Display with Melissa Gorga - Thanksgiving with the Gorgas (w/ Joe Gorga)
Episode Date: November 22, 2023Melissa and Joe are gearing up for Thanksgiving, which means it's the perfect time to talk about People's Sexiest Man Alive, Joe's Hall Pass, and why female turkeys sometimes don't need men at all.&nb...sp; Happy Thanksgiving everyone! This week's sponsors: Greenpan - Toxin-Free Cookware: Greenpan.com - promo code: Melissa (30% off) Progressive: "Name Your Price" Tool: Progressive.com
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None of the girls nap is just like a guy thing like we always find you guys in like a turkey
coma on the couch like half like watching football half a slit and then you guys pounce
up later when it's like dessert time.
Hi guys, happy Thanksgiving from the Gorgas. I have Joe Gorgas with me here today.
Chomping on some chips. Can you say happy Thanksgiving? Happy Thanksgiving everybody. I'm hungry.
I just got home. He's chomping on these chips and they're so good. Those are the bowl and
basket. I'll eat them all. But they smell like onions, right?
And then they bother you after.
Like sweet, but dahlia onion chips.
They're good going down, but then after a while,
they get to you.
Yeah, they do.
And I could like smell them from here.
Anyway, happy Thanksgiving, everyone.
I hope you guys are all either preparing
or with your family or drinking wine,
making turkey or the lucky ones ordered everything
and are doing nothing right now,
but listening to my podcast.
Well, that's not a good thanks, given.
I can't stand that when you order all the food.
Well, you've got to order some things nowadays.
It's like rough out there.
No, the tradition is you've got to make the food.
You get up in the morning, you're all day cooking.
That's what the tradition is.
I mean, everybody's forgetting about that.
Even on Christmas and Christmas Eve, you order,
no, you don't order, you slave,
and you make it in that sort of thing.
Even whoever's holiday it is,
does not get to enjoy it.
But Thanksgiving's always that.
Everybody just cooking and hanging out
and watching football, and everyone asleep,
and having fun.
You mean the men are hanging out and watching football, and the women and having fun. You mean the men are hanging out and watching football,
and the women are slaving, cooking, and cleaning.
So that's why you prefer home cooked meals.
Always slaving.
I'm always constantly slaving.
She finds a great caterer.
Kiston, you know, taking care of you,
making love to you.
Oh my God.
That's a lot of work, you know.
Oh my God.
I keep it up.
Wow.
That is a privilege.
That's called a privilege. That's called a privilege. It's a privilege of work. Oh my God. I keep it up. Wow. You know, it's probably, it's called a privilege.
That's called a privilege.
It's a privilege.
Yes.
That is called a privilege.
Uh-huh.
Anyway, I hope everyone's having a great Thanksgiving.
Joe, do you like Thanksgiving?
Is this one of your favorite holidays?
I love Thanksgiving.
I just can't believe it's here already.
I know.
I feel like we were just at the door.
What's your house?
Happening to life.
Life is flying by.
It really is.
No, it's just unbelievable.
It's just, I mean, it's Monday and it's Friday.
And it's Monday and it's Friday.
It's gone.
The weeks just go, go, go.
I feel like now, like, especially when we were younger,
when you're like 18, 19, 20, they feel long the weeks.
Now, every time I turn around, I'm like, damn, it's Friday.
And they didn't listen.
Everybody said, when you get older,
that time does fly and it's flying.
It's flying.
Oh, no, old dirt.
We got older, babe.
We're getting older.
Not really.
Maybe speak for yourself, don't.
I'm still, I can go.
Like, I'm like a machine.
I'm, my eyes are going, but I'm good.
Yeah, I feel like you like start to squint
when you look at menus now.
When we go out to eat, he's like squinting. I'm like, oh my I feel like you like start to squint when you look at menus now and go out to eat.
He's like squinting.
I'm like, oh my God, what's happening to you?
I gotta take a picture of it and then open it up
and talk, you know, and just.
You need readers or something.
You know what else is happening?
My foot, my foot is dying.
Last night I go to my wife,
I was sitting on a couch and my pay, run my foot.
She's like, ah, come on!
No, I rubbed it.
Yeah, she rubbed it, but I mean, come.
Really? I rubbed it. Yeah, but you rubbed it hard. Like, no, ah, come on. No, I rubbed it. Yeah, she rubbed it, but I mean, really?
I did, I rubbed it.
Yeah, but you rubbed it hard.
Like, no more.
What about when I ask you, what about?
No, no, caressing.
Like, take your time and rub it.
I did, I did.
I did reach a foot though.
I'm not that into rubbing a foot.
Oh, listen, I'll rub what it is.
Sometimes I ask you to rub my back,
like when we lay in the bed and you just rub other things.
I'm like, no, that's not what I'm asking for.
That's what I told you.
So to me, you don't put the time into what I want rubbed.
Well, I think that's like a thing to say.
Listen, you can come on and get me.
No, no, no, that's not what that's saying.
Nope, that's saying just rub my back.
It's bothering me.
That's literally what it means.
No, stop it.
So wait, do you like Thanksgiving or Christmas Eve better?
What's your favorite?
I feel like those are the two big ones.
Christmas Eve, New Year's Eve, Thanksgiving.
What's your favorite?
Well, Christmas is my favorite holiday.
But I-
Christmas Eve or Christmas Day?
Both.
No.
Kind of like both.
I love Christmas.
I love Christmas time.
Yeah, of course.
The whole thing. But I like both. I love Christmas. I love Christmas time. Yeah, of course the whole thing, but I like Thanksgiving because
Football's on and you're hanging out and you're chilling. You're eating so it's a good family day
I feel like everyone comes home for Thanksgiving like all the college kids come back home
We have Antonia back in the house
Shout out to Antonia her room looks like a bomb hit it with like her clothes everywhere.
I was like, Jesus, Lord, she's home.
Like her room looks crazy.
She's actually nicer.
She came home nicer.
She is.
She's a little nicer guys, a small update because I know we were saying like before Antonia
went to college, like, oh my God, she's like crazy.
She always has an attitude.
Like, what's wrong with these kids?
And like I will say she came, she's sweeter. She's a crazy, she always has an attitude. Like, what's wrong with these kids? And like I will say, she came, she's sweeter.
She's a little chiller.
She's not as like, what's the word, a lot of tight.
Uptight.
Everyone I talk to about that, everybody says,
yep, it's girls, it's the girls, it's the women,
it's the girls.
No, girls from, I want to say.
You guys are nuts.
Eighth grade to like their junior senior year
are just a little more difficult to deal with.
And how about now? How about when they get older?
I'm an angel.
You fucking nuts.
Oh my God.
I think I'm so...
I think I'm the chillest, coolest.
Where are you going to find better than me?
I'm like, you know, I ask the part, I look the part, I'm classy, I make money, I take
care of your kids, I take care of your kids,
I take care of you, my hairs did, my nails are done.
I go to work every day, your kitchen is spotless,
I'm a great cook, where are you going?
Oh, I could tell you where I'm going.
Yeah, I know, straight to the gutter.
I could tell you where I can go.
Straight to the gutter to pull out something.
You see these days what they're doing just on like TikTok
and Instagram, you imagine a real life.
Wait, so is that what you do?
Cause I really have, let's just,
it's good.
I didn't mean to say it.
No, for real, cause you did say it.
Cause you're staring at TikTok and all these things
that I know we've discussed this before,
but I feel like you're back into the groove again.
Like what kind of page, you found like these lives?
Like, so they're doing these live videos now.
Yeah, Joe Gorgas is gonna go in a live.
Yeah, I know.
Well, you're seeing something.
What are you staring at?
I'm so afraid of hitting it going on something.
God forbid, there is Joe Gorgas.
There it is.
The haters.
Joe Gorgas.
We got TMZ.
Not TMZ.
We have this little haters site. So Joe Gorgon. We got TMZ not TMZ. We have this little haters site. So
I'm gonna enter this and 30's on looking at these the worst guy ever fire him. Bravo fire.
Yeah, these these they're cool. What did they call that? Oh my god. We hate that.
Joe Gorgie kill my god, you know, they're wasting their time. But, but no, you're getting a little ridiculous.
No, you're getting ridiculous.
No, you are.
You're staring at that phone a little,
you're so unlike you like what's going on.
You gotta stop at this because you know what?
I know, I know you're obsessed with me.
No, no, no, I know.
But every time I look at the phone, you can't be thinking,
I'm doing something wrong. I'm looking at something
You stare at your phone all day all day do I tell you are you looking at Patrick Dempsey on the phone?
Do I say that no but last night what I caught you doing you know she was on account?
Are you doing I was not being sneaky? I was sitting on my couch with two magazines, guys.
Magic is I.
Oh my gosh, I'm so excited.
I'll tell you something.
Explain the thing.
This sexiest man alive.
People's sexiest man alive.
Magazine just came out.
And you know, they always do two covers.
They'll give you like two versions
so that you can buy both.
And one of my girls at NV,
happens to know that I really...
Wow, you must be talking about that.
Isn't that happens to know we were out to dinner.
It was me.
Yeah, okay.
Also, that's what you guys do when you got to dinner.
We were out to dinner and everybody asks like,
hall passes or like, who's cute or something.
And so like, everybody knows that I love
Grey's Anatomy, that's my jam.
So anyway, I was, they gifted them to me as like a gift. I was like's Anatomy, that's my jam. So anyway, they gifted them to me as a gift.
I was like a, like a,
you must have been really talking that up.
To be funny.
I'll bite them, I'll suck them on.
I wish I could put it in here or in that one.
I mean, what were you saying?
Like, see, if it was me and my boys,
and we were out to, guys, listen to this true story.
If it was me and my boys, we're out to dinner,
and I was talking about some woman, right? And then
all of a sudden the next day they sent me pictures or magazines
and I'm there looking at them. She will lose her.
Not if she's on the cover of the sexiest woman alive.
A people magazine. That is a huge honor.
Shit. That's what I have to say and you know what I posted that I
Saw her I was watching her from a distance in the kitchen reading my magazines
Like I was doing something guys. I was sitting with my shelter with lemon and a wine glass
Humming humming
Oh
How was it? How make?
Yeah, she did it in real life.
Oh, now I'm doing something, right?
Now I'm lying.
Then I look and there was two.
I go, wait, there's two magicians.
Yeah, because there's always two.
You don't know, you don't know this.
Like, hey, pop culture.
It's the sexiest man in life.
It's a huge issue.
Everyone buys it.
It's an awesome issue.
And they put two people, they give the same guy
two different covers.
So he gets two different looks.
So it just happened to be the next day. the girls at my envy girls bought it for me.
Nominate me I guarantee I get that one year.
Oh my god.
You know what it would be an honor for you to even get in the inside page.
It's not.
I get that this is all fucking politics and shit.
You know I got to get it.
I was actually in that magazine once with no makeup. It was like we were I was in it with no makeup. So it was like, so I I video her watching it.
I call her a loser, right? And I'm like, look at her. And she's looking at the magazines.
And the amount of DMs that I received was insanity. I don't think I've ever
received any more. Oh, no, I love you. We're giggling. They liked it. They thought it was insanity. I don't think I've ever received any more at Amazon. No, a lot of people are giggling.
They liked it.
They thought it was funny.
They were like, oh my god, you're the,
you should be on that magazine,
all the women, all the people, whatever.
Look at you, look at you.
Yeah, my fans are backing me up.
I love you.
That's what I think.
Okay, babe.
Joe Gorgas sitting in here telling me
that he should be on the cover of
people mag not Patrick Dempsey.
Oh, baby. Yeah, he was an actor for Hustle.
I think you deserve the cover.
I think you deserve the whole centerful.
There you go. That's how you speak.
I think you're a very handsome sexy man.
How handsome. Like like what? Like what?
See now you're going to make it go over time.
But now he's like, give me on a thing of one to ten show me how I am why is so jealous and I'm
looking at a magazine on the couch really not jealous I just I just I make
funny you'll be have you changed your hall pass by the way like you picked your
hall pass uh last time we talked about this who was your hall pass the last time
what was E. L. Goria I just really don't yeah, I just don't know their names
But I said even Lugorium because she is hot. I like her. Oh my god. I also like the other one
Just vanish one now and that speaks with the accent Sophia Varta. I like her too. I are good
I can keep she's a little too tall for you. She's what so so Fia
I can keep going. She's a little too tall for you. She's what so so Fiya
Vergara. Yeah, that's how you say listen, we you know, there's there's so many I can keep going But I don't want to fight we have to this
Have an argument. See like is that nice you were just having a little hissy fit that I was reading a magazine on the couch
And now you just told me there's so many hallpads
It's disrespectful you go out with your girlfriends,
and you guys talk about having sex.
Oh my God, no, we don't, guys.
He just changed it into talks about having sex
after talks about like,
What are you talking about?
Like, what were you saying?
Like, why did it get so crazy in his face?
It didn't get, because he's on the,
or enough, we're done with this conversation.
Joe could just take this to like the next level.
Everybody loves Mick Dreamy.
It's not even Patrick Dempsey.
It's Mick Dreamy we're in love with.
You got me?
Oh my god.
It's Mick Steamy too by the way.
It's anybody who watches Grey's Anatomy
wants Mick Dreamy and...
And put me on Grey's Anatomy.
I would've been Mick Dreamreamy McDreamy
talking to you.
What would your name be?
So McDreamy was already there,
McSteamy's there.
Would you be McWhat?
You would be Dr. McWhat?
What do you want to be?
Dr. McHung like that.
No, no, no, no, no, no,
it has to start with a Mc.
So Dr. McHoddy, you has to start with a Mick. Oh, Mick. So doctor,
um,
Mick,
you want to be doctor, Mick,
I'd like to make gorgeous Mick, Mick, Mick,
Oh, doctor, Mick,
Gorgah, Gorgah.
Yeah, Mick,
fucking hot,
hung down
Okay.
All right.
Jesus,
Christmas.
This is Thanksgiving.
This is a family episode.
Oh, it is?
Yeah.
You're the one that started.
Oh, it is. Yeah. You're the one that started. Oh, my God.
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Anyway, what else is going on? Thanks. Give it like do you like a fried? Do you like a fried turkey or an oven baked turkey?
I like oven baked.? I like oven baked.
I prefer the oven baked.
I do too.
I do too.
The fried gets a little dry, right?
I like the stuffing in the turkey.
Uh-uh.
No?
No.
I love it.
So what's your favorite side dish?
Because I know mine.
I know sweet potato.
Yes, me too.
My sister Kim makes the best sweet potato dish with like brown sugar and marshmallows on top.
It's like, it almost feels like it's half a dessert,
half a sweet potato, but it's so good.
It's amazing.
That is what I look forward to every single thing
is giving me absolute, absolute, absolute favorite.
My mother, you know what I like instead of a turkey?
Cause I'm not crazy about turkey, I really hate turkey.
I like a ham. You do like ham really hate turkey. I like a ham.
You do like ham, I know.
I love a ham, so my mother, you know,
she's in heaven, she always used to make me a ham.
She really couldn't cook a turkey too good.
No, it wasn't her time.
It's not, they don't cook turkeys good at all.
Remember I told this story,
when my mother bought the cranberry sauce
from the dollar store once,
and she came with cans of cranberry from the dollar store because she happened to be in
there and she's like what all cranberries created equal and we opened it and it
was like not created equal it was not the same as regular cranberry sauce. I remember
that time it was horrible. I love cranberry sauce people either love it or hate it
right? I love I like it. Yeah, with Thanksgiving peeps.
I feel like, and I drink a lot of wine.
I feel like it's an early day Thanksgiving
when you drink wine.
Okay, I do love wine.
I'm not gonna deny it.
Were you drinking wine when we were talking
about Patrick D'Anci?
No, but yeah, probably, but do you know what?
I would like a glass of wine right now.
You know what I wanna do?
I'm gonna go take Patrick Dempsey's picture
and put it on my face and we're going to our bed
and see what happens.
It's such a weirdo.
No, I'm okay with this now.
I really am okay.
I'm gonna put posters of them all over the ceiling.
Oh my God, it takes everything 17 times level,
level 17 times 17.
Yes.
Oh my gosh.
Wait, so my good friend that I went to high school with has an awesome like
Italian type store. It's called breaking bread down in Tom's River. She makes amazing stuffed artichokes
I want to women supporting women honey. I'm supporting her woman owned business
I went to high school with her. She's and always been an amazing chef and a cook
So I ordered my stuffed artichokes from her.
That's great.
That's great.
All right.
Isn't that right?
That's why I love going to your family's house
because your sisters, they get down and dirty.
They cook.
They do.
They cook.
Your mother makes those double legs.
She does.
You know, they cook the turkey.
They have two turkeys plus a hand.
They know I'm the only one that loves ham
so they make me a whole ham just for me.
That's how much I love this family.
They love me so much.
It's amazing, right?
That really, I really stepped in some turkey shit
with that.
Oh my God.
I did.
I did.
Do you take a nap on Thanksgiving?
Because none of the girls nap is just like a guy thing.
Like, we always find you guys in like a turkey coma on the couch,
like half, like watching football half a sleigh.
And then you guys pounce up later when it's like dessert time.
How boring, like why?
Feed us, fuck us and we're happy.
Oh my god, you know what?
This is not very holiday-esque from you.
You guys want to spend all the money.
Just like on next level today,
all I had to do is read a magazine in front of me.
He's losing his shit for 24 hours straight.
Fuck.
I'm gonna start bringing magazines of these women.
Oh my God, it's funny.
You don't know, it's iconic to be the man's sexiest man alive.
Like that's an iconic.
I'm gonna lose it.
Every year it's someone, I forget who it was last year
Actually, I have no idea, but I have to Google it's all bullshit. It's just a game. It's to make money
What do you think it is you think they're like the sexiest man?
We going back to you right not to sec how many men are out there?
No, it's people's
Rendition of the second sees man alive. Yeah, I don't know what's different all the time they pick someone
But I will put me in that magazine. Let's different all the time. They pick someone by the way.
I will put me in that magazine.
Let's see.
All right.
Put me in a running.
We're good.
You can maybe just get through the pages.
I told you already.
Oh, I didn't.
Put me in a back page.
You know what else I saw on Instagram today?
I saw like, you know, one of those reels of a woman.
She was like, she was like, if your man is liking another woman's photos or commenting on the photos, he is trying
to get her attention.
He's letting her know that he sees her photos.
He's especially if he puts any type of fire emoji or like an emoji.
He's letting her know I'm watching you
and he wants her to know he's paying attention to her.
That's not true.
Yes, and I think I agree with that.
That's not.
I gotta back up the men, that's not true.
Oh, okay, so you're just gonna like a brand.
If I start liking random hot guys photos,
I want their attention.
If I start commenting on their photos,
that means I want their attention, no?
Yes, if a woman does it, yes.
And if a man does it as well.
No, a man just, they do, just, that's just men.
No. They're just being cold.
There's like, oh, you look good.
No, nice try.
They're just, you know, nice.
They're even men alone.
God damn it.
Nice job.
I mean, everything gets taken away from us.
Our man, horror, our balls, we get married. It's all over done.
Take out the garbage. Cook on a barbecue.
I want to know what Joe did last night.
I have a good story for you guys.
So last night, I, Joe came home.
I had stakes all marinated.
Ready to go. I had mashed potatoes, making a little salad.
So I say to Joe, like I turned on the grill for you.
All you have to do is go out there
and throw the steaks on the grill.
So he goes out there, he throws the steaks on the grill.
We eat the steaks, delicious, yada yada yada.
They're really good.
I wake up today.
It's something now.
Now, have a full day.
It is now 2 p.m. in the afternoon.
I look and I see the grill.
You know, when you look over, you can see that there's gasm. in the afternoon. I look and I see the grill. You know when you look over you can see like that
There's gas coming out of the grill. He's left the grill on because we have our grill connected to our
What how is that called Joe like our mean gas? It's a gas grill right so we don't have like it wouldn't run out
So he had the gas he had the grill running for the last 24 hours. He forgot to turn the grill
up. So you, honey, are going to get a major gas bill. You want me to tell you what you did? The
other night we come home at 10 o'clock at night. I'm going to tell you what she did. She always wants
to throw. You want to throw stones? You want to throw stones when you live in a glass house? Here's
what she did. We come home at 10 o'clock at night and I've been telling this woman for a very long time.
We have everything in our house is computerized, right?
Oh, yeah.
So we go through the house with computers, Bbb,
and I said, I said to her,
why don't you put a key outside,
just case something happens.
We help, let's buy a lock box
and we lock it up in the key.
And then in the lock box, we have a key.
We come home, electric, electric soft, we couldn't get in our house.box, so we have a key. We come on, electric, electric, so off,
we couldn't get out of our house.
So now we're stuck outside.
What happened was we decorated the house,
we had our Christmas guy come and put,
our house is lit up like the National Lampoon's
Christmas vacation house.
It's crazy.
When you drive down our street, it's like, whoa,
like every tree is like, we are that house.
I will say though that it's very tastefully done.
I think it's like, you know, we are the Griswals
in a very tasty, classy, Jersey way.
By the way, that movie, like we gotta start watching
because now it's the time to start bringing it in.
So anyway, whatever, we had so many Christmas lights on,
I guess we took a ride down the shore
by the time we came back home, the whole house popped
because the Christmas lights,
so it popped the garage door opener.
I happened not to have the key in my car.
I usually have a key to the house in the car.
I did not have a key with me.
And, you know, we couldn't get in the garage door.
Everything was bolted shut.
We could not get in our house.
We had to call a locksmith.
Me, the three kids, Joe, sitting outside in my driveway,
and Tony is like, this is why I don't come home from college.
I rather just be at college.
So we call a locksmith guy, right?
We call a locksmith guy. Joe is So we call a locksmith guy, right? We call a locksmith guy.
Joe is not happy with the locksmith guy that shows up.
The guy can't get, we have some specialty,
like not normal.
He's like 1500, I go 1500, for what?
Wait, hold on.
Take you five minutes to open up the thing.
You got all the special things.
He starts, I start arguing with the guy.
I'm like, all right, you know what, get me in the house,
1500, go ahead.
Then he goes and he goes,
be trized.
Wait, Gino comes to me, Gino comes at me, goes, ma.
I don't think daddy likes this guy.
I was like, what's happening?
I start ripping him, but then I say, I said,
go ahead, try it, because I know them, they scam you.
No, they really do, it's because if they know what they're doing,
they're in the house in five minutes. So he goes and he tries with these special keys
literally
Literally 45 seconds he tries he goes up
Can't do it. I got to drill the lock. I go you son of a bitch
I'm like now you got to drill my lock and you want 15 on I would have drew my own lockout
I got a sozo right in in the garage. I'd cut the whole lock off.
So me and him and Argan bottom line is he's drilling the lockout.
He's just drilling, we're there for two and a half hours.
We ruined my door.
We had to get a whole new lock, a whole new socket,
a whole new everything.
We were locked out for, it was like two,
it was more than it was about an hour and a half.
No, it was two and a half hours.
Yeah.
Because I was out there working.
Why are you sitting in the car nice and posting?
I just sat in the car.
Posty.
But so I think you did something worse than I did.
I had the gas on for a little bit,
be a hundred dollar bill.
And we're over.
You, on the other hand, we were out there.
We were, almost we were, we almost had a sleep at a car.
You left.
Cotton locks on.
You left the barbecue on for the last 24 hours,
just running gas.
First of all, you know how dangerous that is.
Dangerous.
So dangerous.
My God.
Want to be, I do want, do you have any favorite holiday movies?
Because I feel like soon as Thanksgiving hits,
it's time to start putting on.
I love free form.
I don't know if you guys know free form the network,
but they do like 30 days of Christmas
So like they will play Christmas movies and Hanukkah holiday movies for the next like 30 days
And it is my favorite a guy literally don't even change the channel
Yeah, I like them all friends does all the most amazing episodes to everyone knows a friend's Thanksgiving episode is like,
oh, poor guy, I just passed away. I know Matthew. He's really, I loved him. I
loved him. I literally grew up watching him, watching. That's just, that's
this is something I always wondered why he like, you know, like, did he have
anyone to talk to about it? what did he what was he did?
I've watched some stuff about him
He went out in public and talked about it at seminars
He really was involved and just was a about his depression and his like I don't really wasn't about depression
It was more about just his abuse his substance abuse and it just it becomes a sickness and
You know, it's a shame and look at it took his his life he had the world by the balls isn't it something it's like you
talk about you talk about even Tina Turner look at Tina not Tina Turner Whitney Houston most
amazing singer out there right same thing drugs took over and it's a shame I mean Whitney Houston
was amazing oh my god you still listen to her songs. You get goosebumps. Oh my god, right?
She's that's talent. You call them. I'll talent right there. Yeah, for sure. So it's just the shame that you
know, just well, he's the best and shout out to all the Thanksgiving episodes that friends has
given us in on our lifetime. They have given us so many amazing. I remember on friends, they were saying that's saying what she would make, right?
Oh, yes.
It was that moist, later or something.
Yes.
Remember that sandwich?
They take two pieces of bread, dip it in a gravy.
In the gravy, guys, not the sauce.
In the gravy, that's gravy.
Right, because brown is gravy to us.
That's right.
You dip that, they get the stuffing,
they put the turkey on it,
and they bite that, that was amazing. Mash potato stuffing gravy cranberry sauce and just bite it and bite it.
That was the most amazing sandwich. That was the moist maker sandwich. Yeah, I was from friends.
You got to make that. We're gonna make that this. We're gonna make that. We should make one. We'll
have to Instagram it and show you. I'm gonna make that because I really don't like turkey,
but I'll eat it that way. You're gonna make me not say I was in Instagram
I take a bite at I would love it on our Matthew Perry. We're gonna
Instagram him nice. Yeah, I was for you. My brother. We should do that
And Tony's home from college very happy about that also. How does it feel? I'm in her back home. It's great
I love just to come home and see her it is to see her in the house
Yeah, she's very demanding though like I read it.'s like, any money, I'm gonna get my nails done.
You're gonna go watch my car, you're gonna put gas in my car.
Give me an oil change.
Like, she wants to do all the things while she's here.
Then she goes back and then she comes back.
She'll be here for a whole month.
You know what she does?
And I'm like, okay, anything you want, honey.
I really don't care.
Yeah, because they're not gonna, I feel like we're just not gonna see her.
Like once, when she goes back, they don't go back until're not gonna say I feel like we're just not gonna see her like once when she goes back
They don't go back into like February that was not crazy. They're she's home the whole month of like
December and I can scan this college thing
No, it's not what you get. Yeah, so about the money to let them go out all night. They party. They do this
They study a little bit and they go oh
Keep them home for two months. Oh, no spring another six months. And they, oh, come back to college.
Yeah, more money, more money, more money, more money.
Yeah, I got like, I get some random, I get like, hey, time.
It's not right.
Well, you, you are so crazy to college education.
People need to get a job with a college education.
So there's a lot of jobs out here and everybody can make money
and good money and come entrepreneurs and
Social media is exhausting. I mean, I love it. The memes the drama the tea
So I started a podcast to digest all that is going on and give you an opportunity to just sit back and
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What about Donna Marcos party that we just had that we just had this week. How fun was that guys my mom turned
75 it was the sweetest thing first of all she she's got energy like not your average
75 year old she's amazing. She's so fine. She's she'll still have a cocktail. She'll still like
Dan's all night, but so innocent.
She's very innocent. She's so married at 18. Yeah, she's just so like, you know, she's just pure like just really
She really is. I can't say it enough. I know. So she's almost childlike. To me, I always felt that way. But she's, she like man's up.
Like she handles everything.
She always did everything.
But like I don't know.
Sometimes she comes off to me.
I don't know because she's getting older.
She comes off very like, she giggly and like, great.
But what, I kind of like that.
At least she's not, you know, you, she's not nasty.
That's for sure.
She's the sweetest person.
My mom, one thing about my mom, very sweet,
very good to everyone,
doesn't have like a mean bone in her whole body.
No.
There's just not.
She's like an innocent kind of like,
Hi guys.
I picked her up and I was spinning her,
like spinning her up in the air
and then I put her on this chair and the dance floor
and I was spinning her around.
We were having a great time.
She didn't, you know what, me and my sister looked at her.
She danced all night.
First of all, she cried.
She thanked me and my sister.
She, it was sweet.
You know what, it's good guys, even if you don't have to throw it to that level or that
scale.
But if you can get together with your siblings and throw your parents, any type of like
monumental birthday where it's something special or you went
out of your way to create like a little moment for them or whatever. They really appreciate.
My mother was sobbing. She cried the whole night. She called me today and told me, I'm still crying.
It was such a nice night. I can't believe everybody was there for me. It's just cute. Yeah.
If you can kind of, if you can do it, do it while they're here, while they're with you,
throw them the surprise parties.
And my sister's planted.
It was cute.
We had a great time down the short, aqua blue.
I tried to get everybody to come up north,
but more people are down there than are up here.
Right?
It was great.
It was a great night.
She's dating someone.
I wanted her to, I wanted her,
she sees them here and there a little bit.
He kind of lives in Florida a lot of the time.
And I really wanted her to bring him.
And she just,
she's like, I'm gonna wait till new years.
I go, new years.
I go, you're 75 years old.
Time is a thicken, honey.
You know?
Yeah.
You gotta make a move.
Let's go.
She's gonna wait there.
I mean, she has the patience of holy shit, I'm gonna-
She's just chill, listen, she's dealt with like,
you know, she's used to being alone right now,
she's just like comfortable, I think, you know,
but she's so fun, she's the best.
Everybody needs a donna-marco in their life, right?
It's so funny, everybody loves her too.
But before we wrap on this Thanksgiving,
we need eyes on something hysterical that I need to share with all my listeners today.
It's strange facts about turkeys. I think this is going to blow your mind. By the way,
strange facts. Don't tell everybody because I can eat the turkeys. Well, it's not bad. It's just like some weird things that I didn't know about
turkeys. First of all, you know, while turkeys are much,
much smaller than the ones that we eat, right?
That the ones that we eat on Thanksgiving,
they're like, they get to be more than like 45 pounds
or like the ones that you're gonna eat on Thanksgiving.
So how did they get them so big?
That's right. Isn't that a good question?
Like are they two different kinds of turkeys?
Are we injecting these turkeys?
Like the wild ones are 20 pounds.
Why are the ones we're eating 45?
The wild ones,
cause they're running around.
They're wild, they're running.
So they're always getting the burn off calories.
Oh, very good, baby.
Look, they're on the treadmill.
You're so smart.
They're running and trying to,
they're looking for the next meal that they're just running.
And the ones that are in a farm,
they just sit there and they just feed the shit out of them.
They don't let them run nowhere.
And they don't run poor little suckers until we eat them.
Oh, you know, we have a turkey farm here in Jersey.
You can actually go pick out your fresh chickens,
pick out your actual turkeys,
like right down the street from my house. My father used to go there all the time. I used to think it was the most
disgusting thing. Yeah, but you don't want to.
Everything. Rabbits. They have everything.
They have everything. Oh gosh, please. Imagine that. You're going to hear any owner of that.
I'm on this and I'm like, whoa, it's, it's pretty crazy. Yeah. Also turkeys are shy, but
they make great pets. So if anybody is in the mood to get a new pet,
you want a nice little bird.
How about go for a turkey?
They're shy, but make great pets.
That's another, yes.
They're also very affectionate.
They like to be touched and loved.
That turkey?
Yes.
Ugly thing going.
Like our dog who walks around in a diaper, guys,
I put Nico in a diaper.. I put Niko in a diaper
He walks around my house in a diaper. He likes to be he lifted his leg before tried to pee on my velvet curtains
But it just hit the diaper and he continued to pee with his leg in the air as if it was hitting like it was working
And I'm like do not feel it just bouncing right back at you in that diaper. He doesn't care
He peed for like three minutes straight.
I was like, holy crap.
That would have been on your floor.
That would have been on my floor
and on my velvet curtain.
I would have literally had a heart attack.
Okay, but so here's the best thing about a turkey.
We have to end with this, guys, on this Thanksgiving day.
Female turkeys can basically clone themselves.
So yeah, it's called like,
and I'm gonna definitely butcher this,
but like, Parthenogenesis,
something very like Parthenogenesis.
Like, okay, shit.
Yes, like sometimes babies develop
without any sperm involved at all,
just a baby developed.
So that's crazy. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. You're telling me it just happens, just a baby developed. So that's crazy.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, you're telling me,
it just happens just like that.
Yes, like a baby, but the survival rate's very low,
but it does happen.
Get them, Focati.
You imagine if women really could just
impregnate themselves.
You barely have sex now.
People can do that.
Could you imagine if people could do that? They barely have you, you People can do that. Because you're president. People can do that.
They barely have you.
You're like, oh my god.
I did nothing. I'm pregnant.
You're dead already.
My god, there'll be no men.
There'll be no men.
Why?
Why?
Because you don't need it.
You're like, you just, you're like
hitting this concrete.
You see that?
Hello, you alive?
Before when you first get married,
oh yeah, they thought you were jumping,
like little bunnies.
Yeah, forget about it.
He loved to reference little bunnies a lot.
I noticed.
I think when I started buying you bunny robe or something.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
So is that real?
Is that real?
No, so the crazy thing is when this happens,
it's usually a male baby that's created out of nowhere.
So this little female, the female can create
without any sperm and then a male baby
is usually what pops up.
Isn't that insane?
Get the fuck out.
No, it's almost like magic.
That's bullshit.
It's like magic. It's like little gremlins. They touch water, it's almost like magic. That's bullshit. It's like magic.
It's like little gremlins.
They touch water, it's like pop pop pop pop pop.
Get the fuck.
Where are you reading this?
This is bullshit.
It's facts.
Are we saying?
Oh, yeah, they're just gonna walk around.
Oh, pregnant.
I'm being honest.
Yes, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's very rare.
But could you imagine there would be a really crazy world
of women can do that too.
That's all I'm gonna say about that.
That would be crazy.
Like, what would we need you men for?
Zero.
There you go. That's exactly what I'm saying.
Zero.
We are independent women and there's all types of toys and things.
You know what I'm gonna do?
You know what I'm gonna do?
You know how I'm gonna wrap up Thanksgiving talk?
I get asked to post and do social for these random fun vibrating toys.
And I'm like, the answer's no.
And then the number gets larger and larger.
And I'm like, no, no, no.
My daughter would literally walk into my room
and like probably faint of a heart attack
if she saw me on social media holding a vibrator.
There was a time I got offered a lot of money
to do something sexual
something right. Remember you know it was also sex toys. It was something she sits there and she
videos me. She's like all right and she starts reading the offer to me. Remember that time?
Oh right. And I go. Right so I knew I got the offer first for Joe and it was something with like
sex toys and I don't I forget what it was. So I videoed you. It was something with like sex toys and I forget what it was.
So I videoed you.
It was something like I couldn't get a heart on
or something and that was a pill.
Oh that's right.
That's what it was.
It was, that's right, that's exactly what it was.
It was like a pill to make your thing hard or something.
Yeah, so she sits me down,
she goes I'm gonna read you this over.
It was in the six figures.
It was big, right?
It was a very big number, so I know him.
He's all about like the quan.
He's all about like, we got like going to work.
It was about a reptile dysfunction.
Right, so yeah, so you can't get it up,
so you need this stuff, right?
So I'm like, so she starts reading it to me.
So she tells me, and she's reading it, and she's like, yeah.
And I'm like, okay.
And I get to the end, and I'm like,
but this is what you'd have to do. This is what you'd have to post like it was very
It's not first of all Joe does not have erectile dysfunction. Who gives a shit if they're paying me. I got it
I got it and I'll make it happen
No, don't say that
Yeah, and I videoed his response and he was like, yeah, yeah, I was like, I knew you were
going to say yes, I knew it.
But if I could be out there and help the men that can't get it up, right?
And they'll watch the video and they'll buy the thing for me.
I listen to them.
I'm doing my deed, right?
It's all about helping each other.
I'm helping another man out.
That's what I'm doing.
Anyway, guys, we hope you're having a beautiful Thanksgiving. Have the best day with your
family, your loved ones. Enjoy it. Remember how blessed we are to have family and your
friends that are family, whatever you guys are doing today, just take a seat, be grateful,
realize how much you're thankful for it because I do think Thanksgiving, you know, when
you stop thinking about all the turkey and all, like, the wine and all the other stuff,
it really is about being thankful and grateful and just realizing all your little blessings in life.
And I do want you guys to sit back and realize how lucky each and every one of you are.
Why are they lucky?
They're all lucky.
I'm going to tell you why.
Why?
Probably for whoever's sitting next to them right now for the food they're eating, the house they're living in. That's right. I just want them to take a moment to
be thankful. So everyone do that for me today. Remember no matter what's going on in your life,
you know, we all go through ups and downs. As soon as you open up your eyes and you wake up in the
morning and you're alive and you have freedom, we have everything. So whatever you got going on,
don't worry about it. You're
going to be able to handle it. Okay. And also, I want you guys all to tell someone that
you see today or that you're sitting next to, that you love them and that you're very
grateful for them. We love you guys. Have the best Thanksgiving for our family, to yours.
Love you guys! Love you guys! Love you! Ciao! Hold on to your jingle bells.
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