Painkiller Already - PKA 655 W/ Michael Grizwold: Am I Ugly?, Guest Calls Kyle Smug, Fairytale Turns To Trauma
Episode Date: July 8, 2023...
Transcript
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pka 655 with our guest michael griswold taylor this episode of pka brought to you by pharaoh
distro.com link below also brought to you by lock and load a high quality ejaculation increasing
supplement see what i didn't use a single bad word early in the episode for you thank you when
you need to bust no other future no that's no good it doesn't rhyme something about trust can't use
a bad word michael grisw, thank you so much for joining us.
You are a renowned expert in the world of psychedelics.
And Kyle and Woody are a little more into it than me. Kyle's done LSD. Woody went online and got ketamine sent to him from somewhere in Cambodia.
And so, first of all, i'm interested in what were you
always infatuated with psychedelics or did this come about after a huge life change
yeah well actually um i was never involved in psychedelics was scared to death of them
uh for all my life really um same i uh when i was growing up there was a commercial that came on tv all the
time where it would show an egg and they would say this is your brain right yeah and then you
see this frying pan and here it sizzles and then they crack the egg and then they pop it into the
sizzling pan and say this is your brain on drugs any questions it's a far superior situation. I'd much rather have a non-raw egg. It's a terrible commercial.
I was convinced that people who did drugs, they fried their brain and became crazy.
And it was only after I was dealing with my own, well, just coming to the end of my rope, really, that out of desperation, I tried them.
I was married to a woman years ago.
I've always been a romantic dude, you know,
like believing the whole fairytale thing.
And with Libby, that's what it was.
I proposed to her at the top of Empire State Building,
fell in love with her at first sight.
She said, yes, we didn't have sex
before we were going to
get married. We got married. Five months later, I get a phone call and I'm at work and she's crying
and she said, hey, I took a pregnancy test and I just wanted to tell you that it's positive.
She thought I would be upset. Right. And so, of course, here it is. This is all amazing. This is
a fairy tale. and then on the
night before our first anniversaries we're driving to celebrate uh she was in the passenger seat
sleeping next to me and and i fell asleep while driving when i woke up in the hospital they said
um hey man we only brought back one body from the accident and uh jesus so as you as you can imagine uh that was that was tough it was tough to deal with yeah
and um and and i was a very uh
well i mean i did i just thought that you just have to muscle through like just a very
masculine kind of hey you just got to deal with it just mind over matter it kind of
thing and so i tried that and i i tried every fucking weird kind of fucking thing you can think
of man i tried all the fucking breathing techniques i've done the fucking meditation for hours i tried
the fucking yoga poses i tried all the fucking how old were you 29. 29 when she died. And you had been married for six months-ish?
364 days.
It was the day before our first anniversary.
Fuck, dude.
Jesus Christ.
That's rough.
Okay.
So I tried all that stuff, right?
And man, let me tell you, dude.
And look, I know not everybody goes through something like this at such a young age, but I think damn near everybody goes through this experience of
where they're like, man, I don't know what the fuck's going on around here.
Hey man, something ain't fucking working. Something ain't fucking working. And you know
what I thought? I thought the whole time there was something wrong with me. Look,
until it got to this point where I couldn't take it no more, and I found out, I read an article about this girl, this 15-year-old girl, who had such extreme bipolar that when she was manic, it took three grown men to wrestle her to the ground.
And when she was depressive, her father had to keep constant watch on her so that she didn't kill herself.
Now, if you're a father and this is your daughter, you're fucking losing your mind, right?
Nothing would work.
And he finally, on the recommendation of a crazy doctor, decided to give his daughter a super dose of LSD.
Nothing else would work.
Dr. Joe Rogan.
DMT.
They gave her so much LSD
that she ended up in a coma.
Okay.
The doctor lost me.
The father
is losing his mind.
I was about to look him up in the yellow pages.
The father's losing his mind, but when the
daughter comes to
she said three words she said dad it's over and bro i totally got what she meant like those three
words dad it's over it gave me hope in that moment dude that there's an answer because i knew what
she was talking about so i had a contact in cal in California who shipped me out some LSD to Ohio city, Cleveland, Ohio.
I didn't know what the fuck I was doing. Just took as much as I could and hope that I didn't
get into a coma. And here's what happened. How much are we talking before, before we get into
the scary town? I, um, I ordered the girl sent me 10 pyramid shaped lsd have you ever seen them as pyramid
i've seen squares always well this one was a pyramid shape and i took six of them
okay okay all right and dude here's what happened it was the most beautiful experience of my life
let me tell you something look everything and this is why it's so difficult to explain the inexplainable experience because everything I'm going to try to say, just going to sound cliche, unless you experience it, which is do everything made sense this whole time, all of these years that I was fucking losing my shit and feeling so terrible.
losing my shit and feeling so terrible.
I was convinced that I was feeling terrible because I was guilty.
Hey man,
you were driving,
you fell asleep.
This is your fault,
brother.
That's hard to deal with.
And when I was on this LSD trip,
I realized,
hold on,
man,
you don't feel terrible because you're guilty.
The reason that Libby's death is beautiful is the same reason that it's tragic. It's because you loved the fucking shit out of her.
In a moment,
I understood life in the way that it is not the way that I would imagine it
should be.
What I mean is all of that love that I had for her,
you don't, you don't get that without the pain of it. Now,
maybe it would have happened for most people much later in life or through some other means of loss.
But I thought that this pain was a wagging of the finger. You've done something wrong. You're bad. But I realized, no, man, that's just the way life is.
And it woke me up to understand life.
Was this after your first time you had this experience?
Yes.
And did it last, I guess, until now?
Or was it a big kind of peak feeling?
And then you felt like you had to do it again to re-remind yourself?
Or how did that go? Yeah. Okay i went through that right i went through that whole thing
where i thought oh man if i'm really enlightened i ought to feel this way perpetually
no no that's all insane that's all insane look the enlightened life is everyday life.
That is what life is.
But you have to realize that in order for life to have any significant meaning.
Can you expand on that?
My life's every day, and it's not enlightened at all.
Kyle, you are muted.
Kyle, he's muted.
I was just reacting to you saying your life is every day.
You're in fucking fantasy camp.
People would pay
so much money to come and be like,
I get to be Woody today.
Kyle, I have problems too. My fish tank
is growing the wrong kind of algae.
I hear your daughter is making you move boxes
as well. Jesus Christ.
Your life is rough.
I heard one of your dozen I hear your daughter's making you move boxes as well. Jesus Christ, your life's rough. Holy shit.
I heard one of your dozen motorcycles
had a dead battery the other day
and you only have three battery tenders
so you didn't know what to do.
Do they all have battery tenders on them right now?
I don't want to hear about your hard life.
You didn't say hard like your everyday life.
I said I wasn't enlightened.
I wasn't trying to say I had it hard.
I don't feel enlightened either.
Maybe I need to try just a little LSD,
just a little enlightenment.
So here's my question for Michael.
Do you think that because I've taken LSD
and I don't feel like I had a moment of enlightenment necessarily.
I had a really good time.
Do you think the reason for that is I didn't take a high enough dose
or because I don't really, I don't know how to put this.
I don't have a journey to make or I don't feel like I need to make a journey of enlightenment necessarily.
I'm pretty okay with the way things are more or less.
Dude, great question.
Actually, this is a great question.
Actually, this whole confusion is a confusion of linguistics.
It's a confusion of language rather than a confusion of experience.
You see, look, okay, all these fucking self-help clowns out here
who want to tell you about how to be happy all the time
and how to be full of gratitude and how this will make you
somehow better than you would be otherwise.
This is all complete nonsense.
And not only is it nonsense, it's enslaving nonsense because it fills people with this idea of the way that they ought to be.
If only they could do it, which nobody can.
Is it kind of like that, like the like the Jocko Willink of almost I've picked on his thing a little bit before what I understand it to be like.
You got to wake up 3.45 in the morning, and then you work out,
and then you spend four hours preparing your meals for the day
because you're a podcast millionaire.
And then you do whatever you want for five hours,
and then you record your podcast.
Again, I'm catching strays here.
This isn't about me.
This is the life of a Titan. This is the life of a Titan.
This is the life of a Navy SEAL.
I like what you're saying there, where there isn't a pie in the sky sale of you're going to be happy all the time because it's not realistic.
You won't be happy all the time.
I'm sure there are days that are really tough still where you just have to look past it and realize you know it will come
around again dude no nobody wants to be happy all the time this is the fucking scam of the whole
thing it's like all these motherfuckers running around trying to tell you how to live this life
that you wouldn't want if it was even possible look let me tell you something if your wife died, if your fish tank grew the wrong algae and fish tanks are important to you, then it would be fucking retarded for you to be happy about it.
Now you are talking to us.
He's right.
Is that resonating with you now?
The thing is, nobody wants to be fucking happy all the time they're just taking this
soma like the characters in aljua soxley's fucking brave new world because they ain't
thought about it enough to think that what they really want is to just be a human who can handle
the emotion that you feel and not be overwhelmed by it nobody wants to feel happy all the time you
want to feel all the emotions you just don't want to get your ass kicked by it. You don't want to feel like, oh, my God, if I feel this, it's going to crush me.
You want to feel up for it.
So do you feel like maybe you were in this sort of mental cycle of replaying and repunishing and then just going through it over and over and running through that?
And you were able to stop that with the acid?
You know, what it was, Kyle, is i didn't know what the fuck was going on i didn't look this is this goes down to the very
root and fabric of existence like the way that i understood life i understood that my life was
supposed to do something which is impossible, which is what most of the people
in the world are doing, by the way. What I thought my purpose in life was, was to become better.
You can't. There ain't nothing you can do to be better. This is all made up because whatever
scale that you're judging yourself on is one that you made up. It's all subjective.
You can't change who you are.
And this is infuriating me and driving me crazy until I realized, hey, wait a minute.
That ain't the goal of life.
The goal of life isn't to become better.
And all these people that are running around trying to tell you that it is only add to people's misery.
And it doesn't make you happier to become better.
It only makes you more enslaved you don't think that it actually made you a better person you just think that it
facilitated the ability in you to handle emotions as they came organically and not freak out and
feel as though you were you know had no control and that the emotions were controlling you,
but you yourself feel like you haven't changed.
What has happened is I've experienced this range of experiences.
That's all that's happened.
And in that, in experiencing that range of emotions through experience i've come to
understand how life works and for so long i thought my job here is to make life be something
other than it is and dude if you pay attention this is what all the fucking self-help people
want you to do too then would you always be grateful once you always be happy once you'd
always be positive once you'd always be brother dude? Won't you always be positive? Dude, that ain't life.
Here's what people want.
Here's what people want.
People want to be able to live their lives and to feel the emotion in their lives appropriately.
But they don't know how to do that.
When something happens, you can see people looking around, don't know what to do because
what am I supposed to do?
Because people don't know how to feel.
All they're doing is thinking
all the time. And this ain't, this ain't real life. Look, look, the biggest thing,
the biggest difference that people got to understand is the difference between what you
think about and reality. All these fucking self-help clowns are going to tell you what you
think is what happens. And it's, if you think thoughts are things, that's the most stupidest thing I've ever heard.
Your thoughts are not reality.
They are anything but reality.
Reality happens and your thoughts are completely different.
This is the big difference here is like this idea sorry let me just try to bring
this thought together because i know it's sure sound kind of a town a little esoteric yeah look
look think i'm what i'm trying to do is bring attention to all these fucking things that
that are very popular today about loving ourselves and being happy and gratitude. And we, and it gives us this
idea that you're creating that as reality. No, you're just spending all of your time thinking.
And that is not the way life happens. Life happens right now. Hey, in this conversation. And people are so miserable and
so depressed and so full of anxiety and so full of nervousness because they're wondering, am I
doing it right? And if only I was doing it like this guy who's like on stage and smiling all the
time, then all my problems would be gone and I would be happy all the time. That is not it at all. So what would you say is what would be a good reason in your mind
for someone or what's the prerequisite you would say for someone to to jump into this or what it
would take for you to recommend it? What would you have to see in someone's what would you have
to see in someone's life as far as their behavior,
their thought patterns, the way they live, in order for you to go,
you know what, I think this, what helped me might help you as well,
and recommend that.
Or is it something you think?
When you recommend that, you mean recommend what?
Like the assets.
Who would you suggest LSD for?
Therapy, yeah.
For Dr. Griswold here.
Yeah, right.
What are you looking for when you say you know what this
might help you well listen i've i've led retreats right where i invite people down to costa rica
and i give them seven grams of mushrooms okay and that's that's a hero's journey right is what we
call it all right i've heard a hero's dose called three to five grams and i just throw that out
there so that when people hear seven they know that this is a superhero's dose called three to five grams. And I just throw that out there so that when people hear seven,
they know that this is a superhero's journey.
And I appreciate you saying that.
And there's a reason for that is because I've had people take three to five
grams and they're like, Oh, you know, whatever.
We're not trying to do that. We're like, look, if we're going to do this,
I want you to be, there ain't no question about it.
Nobody takes seven and says, yeah, whatever.
That's exactly
right like you take three i've had people take three and be like oh well you know that was really
interesting that's not what we're going for what we're going for is that experience where you come
hey face to face with all the things that you've been afraid of man all the things that you've been
fucking running from that you've been trying to hide from that just can't and here's what you're
gonna find out that nothing i can tell you that's going to make you believe it
until you experience it yourself.
All those things that have been chasing you down that you've been running from
are sneaking up on you to say, yo, stop running.
Yo, we're on your side, motherfucker.
These people are all super advanced mushroom users, right?
Like you can take some.
So you're taking some fucking goober out there in the woods
and giving him seven grams of mushrooms.
Listen, the last retreat we did.
It's hilarious.
We had seven people.
We had seven people that were there.
Nightmare, nightmare, nightmare.
And I took him to this.
I took him to this waterfall in Costa Rica.
And it has this like river and very beautiful right it's awesome okay uh
three dudes and uh four women and um my man uh one of the dudes just kind of loses it gets
completely naked in the river goes over and starts to try hugging all the fucking women, right? Completely losing his shit.
So, yeah, sometimes weird stuff happens.
Ruining everybody's trip.
No one's getting enlightened then.
And that was the last time we were allowed there. You know what I learned is I don't want to do that many mushrooms in the woods with strings.
You know what I learned?
I want to get high with hugger.
Well, the interesting thing was is what came from it was very interesting.
There was this very beautiful, like, you know, everybody got all like conscientious and healing and all this.
But the whole point is, is in doing this, these people come face to face with the thing that they haven't been able to get to and and if you
and look if you don't know what i'm talking about if what i if what i'm talking about sounds
ridiculous to you then turn it off but there are some people who are like man there's something i
just i just can't get to the fucking root of this thing and i don't know what the fuck's going on
i want to talk about that so kyle took took LSD and he had a good night.
You took LSD and you upgraded your RPG character, right?
I don't know if video game analogies make sense to you,
but so you're a different guy on the other half of the journey.
Is that, you think, because of the dose
or because of the set and setting?
I think Kyle took LSD with the objective of having a fun night.
And you took it with the objective
of updating your RPG character.
So thoughts?
Well, dude, I totally agree with you,
except you're being a bit too gracious to me.
I didn't do it with the objective of upgrading anything.
I did it out of pure desperation.
And look, I'm going to tell you,
pure desperation is a valuable and powerful thing.
Because when you ain't got nothing else except, yo, dude, this is all,
I'm rolling all the dice on this.
You know, hey, look, sounds like Kyle's a social guy,
goes out and hangs out with his friends.
This is going to have a great time.
Dude, that's exactly what it did.
For me, dude, I was like, yo,
I'm going to take the Robin Williams way out of the world if if i can't figure
this out and so what i've come to realize is that life life life is this thing that has always been
in in mythological terms been referred to as a woman because she fosters this sense of life and
she's good to us but we gotta you gotta
realize it you can't you can't just you can't have somebody tell you because you can argue about it
if i tell if i tell somebody life is beautiful they're gonna be like oh well you don't know my
life it's been all about blah blah blah and they'll tell us all this history of woes which are all
true this fish tank probably sucks. Yeah, exactly. Going the wrong fucking algae.
Going the wrong algae.
His wife's laser is far underpowered.
I got to ask you.
I got questions about...
Was it Costa Rica you led the retreat to?
Yeah.
How did you...
I would imagine these other seven people
were all...
also had maybe traumatic events or something like that?
Not necessarily?
Actually, not all of them.
Surprisingly, most of them were in their 50s and 60s.
People who, here's what I found, the majority of people who are interested in psychedelics are either very successful people who are always pushing the limits of experience.
Whether it's intellectually, physically, socially, you know, some sort of achievement. achievement and then people who are getting to that point in life where they're wondering if they've lived a significant life particularly when people retire like four out of the seven people
who were at that second retreat were people who had just retired in there and they're all very
honest before we before i invite somebody down i'm like, hey man, what's happening? We don't know
each other. You're going to a third world country where I'm going to give you drugs that are going
to significantly alter your consciousness. What the fuck is, what is making you think of it?
This is a good idea. And they're like, hey man, I just don't know what I'm doing with my life.
I've came to this point where I like, what have I been doing? And at some point, if we're lucky,
and though it's a terrifying fortune,
we come to this point where we're like,
dude, what the fuck am I doing?
And we don't know, if we're honest.
Is LSD easy to get in Costa Rica?
Do you live in Costa Rica?
I just want to find Costa Rica.
Oh, mushrooms, of course, yeah, yeah.
But same question, just mushrooms.
Well, we grow and ship our mushrooms from the U.S.
And trying to get anything in and out of Costa Rica is a huge pain in the ass.
Yeah, nobody checks the mail.
Yeah.
There aren't even any mailbox.
You got to go like down to the post office.
Yeah, you got to go to the field it's the way to do
it trust me they're delivering it to your house don't wear shorts on channel don't wear shorts
um i so you when your um your personal self-changing journey right the big six pyramids
of lsd you didn't talk about what the actual high was like. You just talked about
what you were like before and then afterwards. During, were you actively thinking? Were you
processing? Did you have like a set of questions to resolve? How did you prep?
Man, man, how did I prep? Here's how I prepped.
Open my mouth and put in the lsd here's how i prepped i also ordered some um dmt and so i smoked that first wait
okay and and didn't get it all the way the first time so i tried second time
and then i took these six
things velocity and look dude i tell you what man i was scared to death i know lie about i was scared
and it was the most beautiful experience of my life look i'll tell you the most pleasurable
experience you can think of physically as an orgasm if you can imagine a your entire soul
having an orgasm that lasts for six hours, that's what it was like.
Nice.
I'm a food snob, right?
Unapologetically.
And one thing that I fucking think is disgusting is cherry tomatoes that are wrinkled.
God, gross.
Disgusting.
Well, I'm making a salad while I'm rolling on LSD.
And this little wrinkly tomato i swear to god i look at
it i'm like this is so beautiful beautiful fucking wrinkly ass tomato and and dude like it wasn't
like white washing you know how you know how people who are so obnoxious who always want to
see the positive and everything and you just want to smack them they're always whitewashing things
and they say things that you just don't believe right they're trying it's just not real it wasn't
like that it wasn't like that at all it wasn't like oh let me let me see this ugly cherry tomato
as being beautiful it wasn't like that at all it was it was something altogether different where where all you can see is the beauty in even something that is ugly.
I understand that part.
That part I got.
There was a clown painting that was beautiful on the wall.
They had a comically goofy clown painting in their billiard room,
and I was just staring at its face,
watching it change colors from orange to yellow and then back again
and then i would like look away and then look back real quick to see if to see what parts of
what i just saw were real because i don't know how it works you didn't because when you're staring
at it your brain is changing it to all different colors but when you look away it's like a video
game or something it all that resets so you look back motherfucker that's not a clown it's george
bush what am i look you've been there for three hours or something.
I love LSD.
And I took five.
I don't know.
It's not like prescription drugs.
That shit ain't dosed right.
Who knows what?
Five of mine could have been one of yours.
But I had a ball.
If that were legal, I would do that once every month for sure.
No more than that.
Literally no more than that.
I don't think it would be healthy to go to that place more than once a month.
That's a scary place. What about your thoughts on frequency? Michael is once a month too much enough
about, right, man. I'm going to tell you, uh,
about right man i'm gonna tell you uh the thing that the single most valuable gift that psychedelics have given me is the gift of sovereignty okay span so once a month or choose how many times a month like dude before before and this is going to sound
almost like hallmark after school special like but like before i ever did psychedelics i thought
that there was like this right way of doing things, man.
And if I didn't do it that way, I was in trouble and somebody was going to come get me and somebody was going to like somebody or something was going to punish me, man.
I just, I just realized now that life originates within the human being.
within the human being.
And so you get to make the decision and feel the fear and the accomplishment of it.
And you will realize that your car is a naval vessel.
And you are a sovereign citizen.
I'm starting to think the frequency is every day.
10 minutes ago, actually.
How often do you do LSD or some form of hallucinogen now?
Like, barely often?
Well, I microdose.
Okay.
Like, 0.6 grams
to 1.2 grams. Do you build a tolerance to this stuff?
I microdose 0.2.
How does that
do for you? Usually, it is
a break glass in case of emergency, right?
I'm cranky without a good reason.
I am just kind of being an asshole today and I can see it.
I can see that like whatever spurred on my reaction,
my reaction wasn't appropriate for that.
You know, like some little thing is happening and I'm more upset than I ought to be.
And it's like, and this doesn't happen very often. I'm talking every three months.
I haven't microdosed in a long time. But it's like, okay,
this is on me. I just woke up an asshole for some reason.
So let's do a microdose and see if I can't be
a better me. A little maintenance. A better you
according to who? According to anyone that has to
live with me but but me too right like i i don't know if we're all just a bag of chemicals and and
i'm filled with grumpy for some reason let's fucking throw some grump bleach in me and yeah
i know the exact feeling you're talking about like i've been i've been putting together like
a piece of gym equipment or something before and someone just comes and asks me a question and i can feel myself
wanting to be mean to them it's like i want to hurt your feelings just so you'll leave me the
fuck alone and i'm like whoa don't do that right right god i'm an asshole i need to do drugs
don't you look at your nose at me taylor i know your hobbies
no you just get so high cut ourselves like you
but once every 30 years on the corner of the workout equipment box
but yeah that's it yeah i don't know i'm gluing pvc together then it dripped
and i'm nine out of ten upset over a three out of 10 problem.
Yeah.
So see, let's see, Woody, I'm sorry, but I can't agree with you.
Okay.
Because I think what you just,
the story you just told exemplifies exactly what I'm saying is you're, you're creating a split within yourself that don't make no sense.
You just said, I have a 9 out of 10 response to a 3 out of 10 problem.
Well, that can't be true.
Because clearly it's a 9 out of 10 problem to you.
And if it wasn't, then you wouldn't be responding 9 out of 10.
What's the real issue is, hey, man, I don't like the fact that other people
think this is a three out of 10.
Well, now that's the difference. What I'm really concerned about is, hey, look, people don't like
the fact that this makes this much difference to me. Well, that's a different issue. If you need
to change yourself in order to conform to the three out of 10 standard, that's going to be real
tough. But I feel like normal me is able to keep things in perspective and respond
to small problems appropriately and big problems appropriately i pride myself on like those moments
where something really bad happens you know maybe your son chops his foot with an axe for example
and uh and i'm i'm the guy you want around who can handle this coolly and make good decisions and get you to the right people.
I think
that's a different thing.
I think you might be right.
I appreciate both things, but that's a different thing.
I like that thing too.
You want me around.
I take a great pride in
that part of me.
Jackie would sing my praises in this regard.
Every time anything really hits the fan, I'm calm and I'm,
I'm making good decisions, but I won't say I'm always, always,
always calm and making good decisions.
And if I feel like my mood needs a little maintenance and it's time to change
the oil, that's when I think a micro dose works for me.
I think I'm really good when there's a situation that's like,
when someone's blowing something out of proportion,
when their three out of 10 problem is a 10 out of 10 for them,
maybe just being like, hey, let's put this in perspective and we can solve this thing.
But I'm also like, okay, when there is like a nine or 10 out of 10 problem,
being like, oh, let's just focus.
What do we do first? What do we do first? Let's put our clothes on. We can't handle us naked.
First thing you do write a list that says to do put that on it. And now you've at least taken
are you a list maker? Kyle's emergencies usually come from, yeah, I'm a list maker.
Kyle's emergencies usually come from when he's naked.
I make lists and then it'll be like, yep, if I get all this stuff done, I'm feeling golden.
And then like four days will go by and I've done one thing.
And it's like, just don't make the list.
Just fucking do it.
And then I'll do it all at once and be like, why did you even make the list?
You just do it when you think of it. But then the next time comes and you go, you need to renew your plates and you wait four years
and you don't renew your plates for four years.
It feels good drawing things off that list though.
It does.
Do you ever put bullshit stuff on a list so you can exit off?
It's not just bullshit stuff.
It's also stuff that's like,
this one thing requires like three steps.
So let's just split this one thing requires like three steps so let's just split
this one thing up now i like lists for for big situations uh moved yesterday and did not have a
list not have a list there's shit everywhere i wanted to make this iced coffee at like seven
minutes before the show and i couldn't find k cups sweetener spoons anything it's all in boxes
coffee is yeah all the things that coffee is yeah i'm
gonna guess you didn't end up with the coffee huh i got it i figured it out i got a knife out
went to town on those boxes i know where the knives are good job well this is fascinating um
so so is it just uh are there any other hallucinogens besides DMT, LSD, and mushrooms that you've experimented with?
No, I haven't messed with anything else.
Okay.
But.
And what do you do now?
Like, are you in costa rica right now i'm in colorado
and i'm heading back to costa rica in a few days and we're doing another retreat at the end of
the year uh and um in the meantime we're helping people with depression, anxiety, and PTSD through microdosing magic mushrooms.
How do you find the people who go on these retreats with you?
Or rather, how do they find you?
Well, they usually come to our website at MightyMicro.net forward slash free book.
They download the book that we wrote on microdosing 101.
Okay. book they uh download the book that we wrote on microdosing 101 okay tell you about like how to microdose when to microdose how to figure out your threshold dose so you'll know what uh dosage is
right for you and uh and then usually they you know become a customer and uh we have a facebook
group that customers join and uh we do these retreats a couple
times a year and when we have them we let them know and people sign up what's Costa Rica like
I'm like I think that's where Jurassic Park was if I remember correctly Taylor and from what I've
seen it's beautiful it's beautiful dangerous at times but what what's what's real Costa Rica like
as far as like how far does a dollar go down there?
And what's the situation with prostitutes?
Well, it's very primitive.
And if you want some prostitutes, the place to go is Jaco, J-A-C-O.
Gotcha.
Of course.
I went and spent a weekend there.
And the girl I was with took me to this
bar or restaurant. And dude, I'm telling you, there was like,
the whole place was lined up on every wall.
There were women lined up,
Costa Rican women that are like there to get guys to like,
it was the wildest thing I've ever seen. It was wild.
How much would it cost to to to to take one of these ladies on an adventure into the night per se i wouldn't be able to tell you
that i doubt that did you ever go up to the prostitutes and like and give them and give
them like five tabs of acid and be like come come with me we're gonna remap this whole thing you're
doing then you take them in the woods and they go, oh my God, I'm a prostitute.
And you go, well, maybe you shouldn't have taken this actually,
because it seems like your best job option.
You've never tried that? Never given the locals anything?
No, no.
I think prostitution should be legal.
I'm a big supporter of legal prostitution.
It just seems safer, less STDs, management.
They could report crimes that happen to them.
And at the same time,
it seems like it's an empowering thing
if you're selling your own pussy.
Whereas if it's an illegal cartel type situation,
you inevitably end up with a pimp there for protection.
You think it's empowering to be a prostitute?
I think it's empowering to sell...
I would disagree.
I'd say it's a very dangerous, mistreated job.
It's only mistreated because of what I just laid
out, though. If you, if it were legal,
if you were in a place where it were legal and there's
no recompense, if no one
would harm you or do a crime to you
because you're just as likely as
any other citizen to report them, nobody's going to
rob you. Like right now, if you rob a prostitute,
what the fuck does she do? She goes,
shit, I need a gun. Yeah, but if you rob a prostitute what the fuck does she do she goes shit i need
a gun robbed yeah yeah but if you rob a prostitute in amsterdam or wherever the fuck it's legal i'd
need to talk to a couple amsterdam prostitutes interview them get their thoughts amsterdamians
amsterdamians is that is that accurate i have no fucking idea but yeah i mean they always
you never hear anything bad about Amsterdam. They're doing drugs.
Cool town.
Yeah, it seems like a cool town.
I've never been.
But prostitutes are everywhere, and apparently it's still safe and nice.
So you're probably right.
I went to a Chainsmokers concert in Amsterdam.
It was awesome.
I bet any sort of concert or anything in a country where so much shit is legal would be a blast.
It was so fun. We had some mushrooms and this girl I was with, we did these mushrooms in this big amphitheater.
And it was the first time like you could feel the bass because of the psychedelics.
It was like, wow, it was dope. It was awesome.
I know you've taken people on these retreats and you mentioned the,
the naked fellow running around wanting to accost people.
Are there any other really good freak out stories from people you've been
around who maybe overindulged a bit, lost their mind temporarily?
Well, I'll tell you the first retreat we did uh there was a guy who went on
it who's an entrepreneur and um very successful had a million dollar business and uh unfortunately
him and his wife were having some real challenges uh so much so that she said that she had hidden
a gun in their house and that she was going to kill him and the kids.
She had really kind of lost it.
Yeah.
Well,
he came down for this retreat because he was like,
dude,
I need something to sort this out.
And the night before we did the,
the hero's journey,
he was like,
yo man,
I don't think I'm going to do this.
I'm,
uh,
this kind of freaks me out.
I think I'm going to pass. So I said, all right i said all right man no problem we go we talk about it and finally
decides he's gonna do it well um so the next day i give him seven grams mushrooms and dude the next
six hours were completely life-changing for him there were times when he was just like looking
around like he was just delighted and then there were moments where he's
like putting his head down here and looking up and looking at me very suspiciously well we get
the sun starts to set we're in the jungle and it's time to go and i was like hey man um we gotta go
and he's laying on the ground won't leave finally we get him up walking through the jungle through
the river he needs to get on the back of this motorcycle because that's
how we got there so he needs to ride the back of this motorcycle to go back to the house
and he looks at me he's like hey man i'm scared i was like hey dude don't worry i got you well
the next day you know of course you make it home okay the next day he's like, dude, when you told me to get on the bike, it looked like you were God.
And God was telling me that everything was okay.
Now, dude, look, don't get it.
Don't get the wrong idea.
What happened here is in his consciousness, something about he learned something about the way this world works
something that all the mystics have tried to tell us for all time which is everything's okay
trust now it made it seem like i'm god in that that was just like an anthropomorphism it's just
like me playing that role the thing that happened the thing that happened that the experience okay the experience
not something that somebody told him okay but he was really there and really do you know how much
courage it takes to tell for one grown man to tell another grown man i'm scared this grown man
who whose wife has a gun at his house and has never told me I'm scared. I can't get over that. That's where I've been stuck this whole time.
This man is a scared expert.
He knows scared like the back of his hand.
Now he's saying I'm scared.
Look, that's a huge experience of, whoa, everything.
He didn't leave his kids at home, did he?
Yes, he did.
My question is this.
Did he?
Yes.
Ship them to.
My question is this. How does going and having any sort of treatment going to help that you've got a murderous, crazy lady at home with your children?
Like, well, did he send her?
Did she also get doped up somewhere?
She realized she was right.
He's like, you know what?
I realized she's right.
Those kids. Like, what happened happened what was the resolution to that because the real problem is his wife is crazy she has like postpartum depression or something post postpartum
squared cubed in a relationship the the real issue is when people no matter what the issue is
there's two people that can't communicate and so in this situation the issue was that there was some question about
some infidelity she wasn't able to get over it he wasn't able to talk to her in a way that helped
her get over it there was a whole is a fucking mess shit but you don't kill them that's that's
a whole other thing that's scary that is so scary well i mean i can tell you i would not be going
no it happened to me i would be kids get in the car we're leaving now we'd be searing across the
state there'd be a fucking amber alert for my car i'd be getting out of my car beating the
shit out of someone another car taking their car getting my kids in there going your mother's a
crazy bitch she told me she's gonna kill you and they go she showed me the gun yeah she showed me
the gun she had bullets her name's on taylor do you have any kids no so you don't know what you're
talking about kyle do you have any kids i have four i would i would take them and i'd get away
with them you know like look if my wife told me that she was thinking about killing me and our
four children i would i might kill her um honestly if she said that but i would definitely let go to
the authorities and put a stop to it however i could because i can't let the kids die i care
about them too much i think we're getting off the point here. Three of them. The point is everybody's got different ways of dealing with things.
Did the mushrooms fix it?
In this guy's case, it was a delicate situation, man.
Mushrooms fix it?
Did they get it broken off and everything with no violence no
no dude you guys are kind of making fun but like i want to know what happened you told me the guy's
wife is going to kill him and his kids and he came to you to do to do mushrooms in another country
and i'm and you're telling me that's the right thing and i'm saying okay so how did it end up
and i'm wondering if there's dead kids in the end of the story you probably wouldn't have told the story if that if that part i just don't get the feeling that you
guys are taking or like believing the story or something it sounds like you're making fun of me
but no the reality is it's ridiculous though
okay well anyway um now they're together.
And it sounds anticlimactic because of all the ridicule.
But this is real life, man.
There are real people who do things that, as you sit there in your chair, smugly fucking judging them,
there are real people who don't know what to do about situations.
Well, I got to be it, man.
You described craziness. they're real people who don't know what to do about situations. This woman who was married to him
was an Asian woman
who had this way of
seeing the world that
is very humiliating to her
if she's cheated on.
Then she threatens
the thing that she can only do
to get his attention.
And for you to be so
smug and to laugh it off,
these are real people. I'd rather be smug than a mother who
threatens the lives of her children.
I think one's better than the other.
You're defending the child killer.
I'm not defending anyone. I'm telling you this is the way people are.
I'm not suggesting that anyone's right.
I'm suggesting that you let people be
who they are and recognize.
Well, I'm not stopping.
If who someone is is threatening to kill their children, you can't let that someone be.
That husband didn't let it be.
He took the task to go and try and remap his thinking to try and handle it, right?
I think you guys are missing the point.
I'm sorry.
Maybe I'm just telling the story wrong
what i'm trying to tell you is that these are emotional things that people say sure am i trying
to say that her the children's lives are in danger i have no idea i'm just telling you that this is
what the situation was and if you get fixated on this one bit where well it's a big it might have been what's all you
told me she said in fucking anger i'm just telling you that that's the way saying saying that i hate
you in anger is so much different than saying you're going to kill your children in in anger
let me run this let me catch you up real quick one of that one of um michael's patients uh came
to him because his wife told him i have a gun hidden in the house i plan to kill you all three
children so he and he hooked up with michael and they went to costa rica and left the kids with her
and uh it all worked out and i he michael says that i'm sitting here smugly judging her shut up
michael michael shut won't you you're a little smugly judging her. Shut up, Michael.
Michael, shut, won't you, you're being a little smug there for someone who's on the side of
a house somewhere with birds cawing and dogs barking.
I heard a stranger walk by a minute ago.
Don't be rude to me and cut me off.
I let you trail on for three fucking, I don't know how many stories of nonsense.
All I said was, this sounds like a terrible human being.
And if my wife threatened my children
she wouldn't be my wife anymore and that's not a crazy thing or coming from a smug place that's a
normal thing coming from a sane place it does sound like she needed some help to reset right
like no no she didn't do the drugs he left her with the kids and he did drugs
i did follow um what i was saying but she was the one who was off her rocker it sounds like
like she wasn't she needed to be committed before she made a terrible decision
you think i do yeah i think so Like if someone's threatening that to their children.
But he got help.
I don't think you can.
And she got over it.
Like, why did that work?
I don't know.
Yeah.
I don't know.
Like, was he making her crazy?
Did him leaving make her rethink where she was?
I think he had cheated on her.
And she was Asian.
So that was extra bad.
Oh, I didn't know anything about that.
Huh.
And did they live happily ever after?
Did they put it back together?
Or did they get a divorce and get that right?
Michael?
Actually, they're still married.
They're still married. They're still married.
They have, for everything you can tell, a much better relationship.
And they seem to be doing great.
Huh.
I think there's a little luck involved on this.
Right?
Yeah.
If she was losing her mind.
It's just there was something going on with her obviously like i would think that was the principal problem here it's just it's so
the whole situation is so bizarre to me like because i'm just putting myself in that space
of hearing someone i'm married to threatening my children and then
going on a trip like did that's insane like you you see that right michael
guys we're in a place where like we're just not talking about the same thing anymore.
Maybe you can help me catch up.
I don't really know what we're trying to do right now.
Have a normal human being conversation.
Amongst four non-brain-addled individuals. I think what Kyle was saying initially was that the whole LSD thing can be good,
was saying initially was that the whole like lsd thing can be good but you caught us off guard with this story because it's so far beyond what you should be seeking psychedelics for if your spouse
is threatening the lives of your children to go on a trip and do lsd is madness instead of taking
action and being like we got to get these we got to protect our kids i think if it's as serious as
you laid out initially of her saying,
I hit a gun and I'm going to kill you and the children,
you got to take that more seriously.
That's not a, I need to be enlightened situation.
That's a, there is a life and death situation potentially,
and this must be rectified.
Well, dude, all you guys are saying is that you don't believe this story because-
No one has said that once.
No.
You clearly are.
You've said that three times, though.
You clearly are.
I don't believe the story now because you're so defensive about it.
Because you keep suggesting that something else could have happened,
although actually what happened was the best possible outcome.
So you're telling me that it should have gone another way when what I'm telling you is it went great.
You're telling me you walked into the street blindfolded, found $100.
And so that's must work.
That's the way to walk across the street.
Yeah, I was going to say something similar.
Like I have been on a hockey team and they say, Woody, play your position.
And then I don't play my position and I score.
And they're like, I hate it when bad ideas work out.
Right.
and I score and they're like,
I hate it when bad ideas work out.
Right?
It's still a good idea to play your position even though this one
time it worked for you.
So if your wife is threatening your
kids to leave her alone
with the kids, even though it worked out,
he needed to play his position.
No? You don't see it like that?
I feel like he's culpable. If she killed him, I feel like he's almost
as guilty as her.
I feel like you guys are fixating on one part of the story that's the
interesting part i might not have the whole story no kyle laid it out yeah oh okay the
interesting part is not what might sound most sensational but the interesting part is actually
what happened.
The sensational part happened too. It's two for two.
That beats the other part because the other part just happened and it's not sensational.
You've got sensational reality. I never said the story didn't happen. What I'm saying is the story is so ridiculous that it's fascinating.
I want to do a case study on it. If I knew that guy's address,
I'd call the police in his area and tell him, Hey,
there's a crazy lady over there who's threatening the cops should know the
cops should know they should.
Everyone who knows he wasn't telling is culpable in some manner.
I I've been waiting to, uh, to ask this.
It's about your initial LSD experience where you went from grieving to, I guess, the next stage and getting better.
You with me?
Yeah.
Okay.
So I've done ketamine.
And while I was on ketamine, all my thoughts and ideas were free from self-doubt, self-reflection in a way, and second guessing.
Every idea and thought I had was a good one to me.
Normal me, not on ketamine.
You suggest a business idea, even if it's a good one, I can tell you seven reasons why it won't work out.
And they're all legit, but they might be conquerable.
You tell me on ketamine that like
you know what this is the way forward and there's nothing about me that thinks good ideas are bad
did you have a similar experience as you were trying to get past your grieving and guilt. What was the high like?
Because there were hours where you were,
there's an in-between.
There's a grieving,
thinking about taking the Robin Williams way out,
as you described it.
And then there's the, oh my,
life goes on.
I can achieve a happier state.
What was the middle? It wasn't't like that it wasn't like that at
all okay it's it's completely different this is and this is this is why we're having a difficulty
here in this communication is because what i'm trying to suggest is like it wasn't a graduated
like i didn't come from this level and go to a graduated up and filled up and now I'm complete.
It was a completely different experience of that, of life.
A completely different experience of life. Okay.
So it almost sounds like it wasn't something you thought or dreamed or did during the high
but for some reason you came out of it reset maybe
when when i was when i was on this trip, it was like several hours of
seeing the world as if everything were harmonious.
And regardless of the pain or the difficulty of any particular thing everything just
fit exactly the way that it was supposed to and i fit as if i were a piece of fabric in this
ever-changing pattern so to speak everything everything that i'm saying is just a metaphor right it's just
poetry trying to explain the inexplicable trying to explain what is really beyond words
yeah because it's a you know you're trying to explain the sensation of a psychedelic drug
like you know it's it's going to be different for you and your feelings and the ability to articulate it than someone else. So different for everyone, I would guess. Like, it's the same way that like,
unless, unless the same, like reason that you talk to people about hallucinogens or whatever,
and it's about like, what did you learn? It's always so similar of like this vagary of I fit
in, it's so secure in this. and it was just so right and it's
like that sounds like everybody else because it's you know they don't they don't have the words i
guess to articulate it and that's why the good hallucinating stories are always like i saw a
dragon and then there's like a narrative structure because then people can kind of carry along with
it oh that makes sense to me oh you saw a leaf turn into a scary bug and it flew away. Whereas, yeah, everything just kind of gelled, man, doesn't really fit unless I guess
you have the requisite experience of LSD. And even then, Kyle has never had that. And some of my other
friends have done and haven't. And so that kind of plays into what Woody's been saying, where
it really does have to do with the setting of it and your mindset going in where
if you're trying to be silly and have a fun time and watch movies that's what you're going to get
more likely than not if you are going into it because you're traumatized from a horrible life
event then you're probably going to fixate on that and that is going to be the driving force of it
and that's coming like that's what i assume i don't do hallucinogens i did a small amount of
mushrooms in college but not even enough to like do you know you're doing get a real experience i
don't i have no idea my roommate uh gave me some offered his desk it was all chopped up as far as
like like the way the way i experienced it it felt to me like if i had tried if i had start
if i'd went in with the idea that i was going to focus on a thing then that would have been the I experienced it. It felt to me like if I had tried, if I had started,
if I'd went in with the idea that I was going to focus on a thing, then that would have been the focus.
And I felt like I could change gears at any time while I was high and,
and, and start thinking about things.
And I could have gone to some dark place that was like scary or mean or,
or, um, you know, maybe not healthy. I don't know. Maybe, maybe,
maybe it would have been healthy to, to, to go there and like destroy my, what were they talking about um ego yeah like ego death or whatever i'll hang on to my
ego i like it enough yeah um but i really just wanted fantasia to be cool and wanted that like
that camaraderie with my buddies and man food tasted good man that was the best donut i've
ever had in my fucking life and to be fair it was a real good donut but still it was transcendent i always hear the stereotype that like eating on acid is the is
like a negative people talk about the maceration you know just the munching of food in your mouth
being disgusting to them i heard someone tell me that mastication what did i said maceration
you're close you're close we were gonna let you slide it's okay
at least i had masturbation everyone yeah but i halfway but i didn't have that experience at all
i just found that donut to be delectable just yeah see i was on the i was working like i got
when i listened to michael's story at the start i was almost envious because like when I was working out issues, I didn't have a good reason.
I felt like there was almost like a,
look,
I'm bummed.
What's your big problem,
Woody?
Well,
you know,
like it's winter and,
um,
I don't deserve to be down is how I felt.
That's right.
That's right.
And,
uh,
you on the other hand earned it so like but me
but it's the same thing it's that same feeling of guilt and because at the root it's this it's
this spiritual issue dude doesn't have anything to do with circumstances well i was with you till the end like it just in your case i think the
circumstances look i mean but dude we both felt the same gnawing though mine was more acute but
yours is yeah i feel like i'm stealing valor just agree with that yeah right you know like i don't
deserve that what do you mean like to compare his pain or his discomfort to yours.
I'm not comparing.
But he is.
For him to compare his to yours is what he's saying.
He feels like he's –
But why compare?
We're just saying that this is annoying that we – look, this isn't a competition.
We're both human, man.
We're both – like just because you didn't have a traumatic experience doesn't mean that you don't
feel this gnawing is what i'm saying yeah yeah but i do struggle with thinking but i don't deserve
to feel this but see that's the thing but see that's the thing that you're that's the that's
the very gnawing is this feeling of guilt that you ought to not do something that you are doing
it's it's no different don't fixate on the
circumstance don't forget don't think about my this tragedy focus on the fact that we're both
human and this thing that hey something ain't right yeah and there's a science test in me
that's like oh do you feel bad well that just just means your serotonin uptake inhibitors are –
no, your serotonin uptake receptors are working too hard,
and now you've got no serotonin in you, and you need to –
That theory was not – that was made up.
I did say unqualified scientist.
I prefaced it properly.
Whoa, Michael, are you saying SSRIs are wildly overprescribed
with a lot of negative side effects?
That's crazy.
I would never say such a thing.
No, I don't think there's mountains of evidence for that.
I don't think there's absolute mountains of evidence
that people are-
I know I'm out of my depth,
because I just know people that they've helped,
but that doesn't mean they're not overprescribed also.
But yeah, yeah. So this is one of the things that I struggled with I just know people that they've helped, but that doesn't mean they're not overprescribed also. Yeah.
One of the things that I struggled
with was feeling like I didn't deserve to
be struggling in the first place.
Now I have two problems.
It's recursive to
where I have infinite problems.
Of course.
The problem has begun
with the question. You're the one that brings the
problem with the assumption.
I do that yeah um but then the ketamine itself was was so dude here's the thing here's the thing go ahead
and this is look there's a certain reluctance gosh this is gonna be hard to take and i don't know if
this is the right audience to tell you but i'm just gonna tell you anyway and you can make what you will of it there's a certain reluctance that human beings have of the narcissism that is natural to being
an individual not i'm better than you but i'm an individual and i don't need to agree with you on
everything it's real hard for people especially in this
competitive society real hard for a person to figure out how to be a person in the midst of a
society it's tough and people people feel ashamed or embarrassed and i just don't think there's any they don't need to i think it's uh i think that's a uh unnecessary
ill of this unspoken expectation of conformity and people don't want to do it people don't want
to people don't want to they want to be themselves and not be ashamed of it. Well, that's true.
But there are some things like
behaviorally,
like if you're eating like shit
all the time,
like you should feel bad about that.
If you're like,
because it's unhealthy
and it's going to.
But who says that
you have to be healthy?
If somebody wants to eat like shit
for a while,
why shouldn't they?
Because it's a feedback loop of negativity. You mess up your hormones when you get fat,
and then that makes you want to go into food more, and then that becomes a source of comfort.
And it's kind of like the longer you stay in the hot tub and that comfort, the harder it is to get
out. Getting fat is wonderful, my friend. It's a great time to get fat. But then you get fat and you look at yourself as fat and you go, my God,
it's my circumstances that have caused me this via my circumstances being acting out in a way
that's unhealthy. And so in that way, like you do have to kind of take some. But I hear that,
Taylor. I'm trying to find a common ground here. And it's like, ah, so the problem with eating badly isn't that you're getting unhealthy.
It's that you're not meeting your goals.
If your goal is to be healthy and you're eating badly, then you feel bad about not achieving what you're going for.
If your goal is to be fat and ugly and you're eating badly, then you're nailing it.
Dude, I nailed it for a while.
it dude i nailed it for a while dude i just think i just think life carries people through different periods where sometimes you do eat like shit and that's fine
and you'll get over it and there's sometimes when you're addicted to
beer or addicted to whatever and you get through through it. Like there's this, there's this trust.
Like there's this everything now.
And man, that just ain't the way life is. The only way that we can,
the only thing you can change now is the perspective to recognize that you
don't know anything and that everything that
we're doing is learning. And if we can do that and be gracious with ourselves and not think that,
oh, we do know everything or we ought to be able to do things. If we could do them, we would.
And if you're someone who's motivated like you to do this and share this that that makes sense like you clearly have a lot of passion for it do you ever see people who maybe take that message negatively
and go oh i almost nihilistically like oh there's nothing none of this matters who cares i may as
well get fat and be stupid and i'll just i'm just a stardust mote of whatever in the end because i
do know people who who go down that road of the, oh, nothing matters at all.
Fuck it.
And it's like usually people who believe that aren't very happy.
Well, what is the alternative?
To force people to believe something that they are going to just say they believe even though they don't?
What I'm suggesting is –
It would be to take meaning in those close to you, your friends, your family.
But but how can you get other people? I'm just trying to think of a nonreligious thing.
Well, you wouldn't have to if you're in your own community with your friends, your family, people who are who are like living more communally, people who do that, like even going so far as an example of the Amish, like they're much happier working and focusing on things in their immediate vicinity instead of doom scrolling on twitter looking at horseshit nonsense that's just there
to to upset you i always have i always question that poll did they ask the women how they were
feeling and the kids no no should they it's not only the only the guys right only those bearded
guys okay yeah but i do you think there's a risk of that, that that some people could take that the wrong way, that, oh, everything's meaningless.
Who cares? Yeah, of course. And I felt that way.
And if anybody's honest, they felt that way. Sure. And so what are we afraid of?
Look, I just trust in life that you're going to have some moments where you're like, what the fuck is going on?
And is this even worth it? And to act like you don't is just to mislead people. Look, everybody's going
to have these moments where you're like, God damn it. I don't know what the fuck is going on. And
I don't even know if I'm up for it, man. It's all right. Look, ain't nothing wrong with you.
You ain't done nothing wrong. You ain't got to fix nothing. This is, this is life, man.
But there's a lot of of a lot of people trying to
tell people that it ought to be this way when there ain't no fucking way for it to be that way
all the time so you're you're coming down on more against there being an idea of a total edict of
what is happiness what you need to do in order to achieve this happiness you think it should be more subjective with a understanding
that it is because that's what what is kind of odd about it to me is like yeah it's just like
it's great that nothing matters like i didn't say nothing matters i think if i if i'm reading
michael's vibe right it's that he's accepting for where you are right and if you're fucking hard driving
jocko wilnick getting up at 4 a.m every day to do whatever then fine that's that's how you are the
are you if you're nothing matters but we're stardust and you're just stuck there for a couple
days a couple months a couple years then that's okay too everything's okay i think is the vibe we're getting there'll be
another stage dude of course if you're one of those stardust people yes you're annoying as
fuck but hey but no you're gonna get through it yes you are you won't be that guy forever trust us
nobody wants to hang out with you but you'll get through it and if you're the juggle will it guide
then dude we need people like you we need people like you who are fucking hard charging leaders
and wherever you are yo the thing to to understand is life is good to you look there's look guys my
battery's dying i don't know where the fuck the laptop computer is.
But look.
I just wanted to say.
This is the main thing that is important to say.
Is that.
This.
Our society needs a myth.
That people can live by.
A myth.
That makes them think of life.
As more than just a fucking algorithm.
Or a bunch of fucking.
Mathematical equations.
That's true.
A myth.
That captures our fucking souls. gives us a chest to live
from instead of living when a society of people without chests,
without souls.
And so what I'm suggesting is that we see life as beautiful enough to
contain both the beauty and the ugliness.
That beauty, that life, that the myth that we see life by, that even if someone makes
such a horrendous thing, I'm going to kill the children, that we understand that life
is bigger than that threat.
And that somehow everything's okay
anyway yeah that's just not me man but i i it's okay you be you i'm not mad but like
for example in my ketamine trips i was like these are the things we're going to work out during this trip.
I wrote some pre-questions down in my journal.
I thought them through.
And then before I lost the answers, I wrote down my answers.
And I refer, I even look back on them every so often, every couple of weeks, months.
I'm like, you know, what did I think at the end?
You know what?
That was a good point because my things were like, Hey, I should appreciate my
wife because these are her good qualities. This is how she likes to have her bucket filled.
This is what my Colin, my son, his name is Colin. Um, this is, you know, how he likes to have his
bucket filled and what we should do with him and my daughter. Those were the things that make my
turn. And I feel like you're happier in a more artistic ambiguous less defined type place like
you weren't looking for action items but action items are what brings me happiness that's how i
get shit done awesome so that's the difference between us i guess no man i'm sorry i i'm just
not communicating well because what i'm saying is there ain't no difference is you saw the path to joy for you.
This is what I'm trying to say is like life is the direct experience of joy.
Sometimes joy is painful.
Sometimes joy is chaotic chaotic sometimes joy doesn't
make any sense i'm what i'm trying to say is this is the experience of psychedelics puts us in to
the direct experience of what life is before it's uh polluted by all of the expectations that we've been taught to have of it.
Does that make sense?
Yeah, that was the pathway to joy.
And the way you just explained it was definitely the easiest to understand what you're putting down.
Other way you've done it.
That makes sense.
Okay, thank you.
And yeah, the path to joy thing you said that that does make sense.
It doesn't really matter which option it is
it's just mitigating factors and handling this human condition of the shared emotions we all
have dude look each one of us is so individual and the way that we interact with this world is so
infinitely unique and and yet each one of us is trying to do something very similar when he comes up with
action items i do something completely different kyle goes and parties and taylor is doing his
thing all very different but all with the same goal which is the experience of life which would
which i would call joy yeah and and what I'm trying to say is there's
a difference between that and the acting like it, that we've been taught to do through the
self-help industry, where you're supposed to stand in front of the mirror and tell yourself
all these things and be positive all the time. And that, that, that, that, yeah, that is not the same.
And you're saying that's just going to set you up for more negativity because you're going to be like, oh, man, I'm telling myself in the mirror to be happy and I'm not happy.
I must be a stupid retard who's not doing it right.
Everybody else on this forum is is reading how to stay happy forever by Dr.
John Thief.
And I will.
It's going to work.
Dr. John Huckster here
with my nonsense book.
This leads me to ask Taylor.
Taylor, question for you.
Let's say that you decided
to use psychedelics to get
your emotions right,
whatever that means for you.
What do you think
that process looks like?
Are you a come up with the correct action items person like me?
Are you a party guy like Kyle?
Are you a more defined guy?
If I was trying to do it with the goal,
like if I was doing it and my goal was not to have fun and be silly and the
goal was like,
I'm going to try and work through some stuff I would want a list because I don't have any experience with LSD
and so I would be worried like I'm going to do it and then I'm not going to focus on the right
things or I'm not going to actually work through stuff and so even if I made a list that I didn't
look at once through the whole thing at least writing it down and having that be top of mind would like make me feel
more game plan ish going into it.
And it would also set my mind in the correct way to not be in like goofy fun
mode.
Because if I just kind of took it like haphazardly,
I can imagine myself just having a fun,
silly time.
Like I,
if I,
I'd want to be purposeful with it. I like the, the when when you broke down how you did it with the ketamine i
was like i think that's almost exactly how i would do it okay and so but maybe and you know
it could be a thing that i do that once and then be like that was fucking stupid
like yeah right i didn't need to write that shit down it was already top of mind and so of course it came up it's a lot to i with ketamine you got six doses right so there were
six trips that you took um most of them were as i described i'm not lying one of them like i have
my computer next to me and it's playing this bioral music i didn't even know
what that was beforehand and got my headset on my scented candle my weighted blanket and i am just
in mentally some sort of dry happy slip and slide of joy as i process all this sort of thing
michael you're we lost your audio michael yeah i think it's working now you're... We lost your audio, Michael. Yeah, I think it's working now.
You're like in an adult womb.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's not bad, actually.
But on one of the trips,
so I've got my computer next to me
and it's an Apple.
It texts.
I just text my wife,
blow me.
So she does. And then that led to more and more and more the journal afterwards
is triple x-rated it like so that that was what i did with one of my trips and afterwards you'd
think it'd be great what's that that's what i do with all of them yeah fuck i'm not learning
anything i'm just getting my dick sucked again but but for me i actually felt a little guilty afterwards i looked down at the face of god
throat but but yeah after for me like what happened between my ears was i was like
you know you kind of slacked this session. You didn't make any progress on yourself.
You just had sex.
So,
you know,
maybe you're wired differently. Were that to win?
But for me, it somehow
seemed like maybe a tie.
Where are you trying to get to?
I was trying to
be
in a, like like out of depression.
Depression sounds more extreme than I think I had.
Trying to get out of like, you know, the doldrums.
Like seasonal affective disorder.
Yeah, that might've been it.
Or it might've been, you know, a strong version of that.
Are you out of it?
Yeah, most of
the time when when do you notice yourself feeling ways that you don't want to um it's not common i
would say that like i mentioned earlier in the show it might manifest itself as me overreacting
to little problems like god did I strip a bolt?
That is just get out your, you know how to deal with this.
Just stay level, work the problem, solve the problem.
Don't go pouting your feet or throwing a tool.
Now you're just being an idiot.
What's wrong with you?
Why are you not the best you?
So that's the conversation that happens when something goes
wrong yeah yeah you know or um i don't know maybe maybe i've got nothing so i'm retired mostly i do
this i work i work five hours a week and uh um you know maybe i'll just wake up without a purpose one day and be like, you know, like this, I shouldn't, I should be psyched.
Right.
Like if life is a vacation, why aren't you happy?
So like that sort of thing will make me asking the question me.
Right.
Like I'll be, but hold on.
Who's asking the question though?
Me. So, so I'm not living up to my own expectations.
But of course you are because you,
you could only, you're only, you could do that.
So like what I'm saying is that the discrepancy you have is something that's
made up. You like,
you've made up this idea that
there's a problem when you're doing everything you want to do but i mean in a way kind of like
perception is reality right so in in woody's mind if that's a big source of stress and concern for
him then it's it's to him it's real it's as real as like stress over a real problem like if his back patio is fucked up if if you say hey that's my problem and so i just looked over there
i want to you're not meeting my expectations by the way sorry i like my friends with good back
patios i'm paving stones or like what are we gonna do we'll figure it out okay if what you're
saying is i want
to have a reason to be stressed and these are the ones i'm coming up with then i say great oh that's
interesting no i say hey you don't have to and if you're being honest with yourself then you'd say
hey you know what i'm just looking for reasons because i feel like i ought to be stressed and
i can't tell you why but god damn it i'm just going to come up with reasons no matter what you
say and that's infinitely true.
And I do that all the time with like catastrophic thinking for no reason.
And I have the wherewithal in my mind to be like, I know this is silly and you're being catastrophic and you're worrying about things that aren't going to come to fruition.
But the worry in my head is real.
You know, like the concern is real.
I can push it down and it'll sincerely go
away sometimes and then it'll come back and it'll be stupid things you're right you can obsess over
a back patio being fucked up anything the back patio is a pretty big problem you're really
i'm concerned about this patio it's's all I can think of. Stop mentioning it. I'm excited.
Fuck.
But those are real to me.
And I totally get what you're saying, that it shouldn't be.
Of course, you're living like it shouldn't be, but it is.
I'm not saying it shouldn't be.
I'm saying it should be.
And there ain't nothing wrong with it.
I'm saying it's nothing wrong. Look,
what is it that you guys are trying to do? You're trying to have this thing where nothing never bothers you. Is this I, this ideal that you have of yourself? Is this, this thing where you're on
your placid, never moved, never phased by anything. No, nobody wants to live like that.
What you're saying is a ridiculous notion of an ideal that you would
never want to accomplish, even if you could. So all you have is an unconscious process going
where you come up with reasons to be down on yourself because you have this standard that's
impossible to achieve and nor would you ever want to accomplish it because it's this circular thing that you haven't ever examined to say, what the fuck am I doing?
Instead, you just come up with all these reasons that it's this way and keep doing the same thing
until you say, God damn, this don't make no goddamn sense. Why the fuck do I keep doing this?
And just free yourself to not have to talk about it anymore and talk about something else.
And this is why I bring up the thing of narcissism, because I think we get very
self-conscious when we want to talk about something that ain't in the group consciousness.
See, the reason that it's okay to talk about this is because everybody's talking about this.
Everybody's talking about how to make yourself better. This is a totally socially acceptable
thing to talk about. You can come up with all the reasons that you're bad because that's something
that everybody can agree on. The minute you start saying, hey, man, I don't want to talk about that shit anymore because it doesn't do any good and it don't make no difference let's talk
about something else now he's out now he's starting to sound like a weirdo like me you know
it's like genuinely helped in like like many years into adulthood was like a concerted effort like
when i would fuck something up because my instinct in my head
always to be it was to just like you fucking retard you fucking idiot everyone else can do
this you're the one who's fucking this up you moron you absolutely like it wouldn't matter
what it was it was just like that my instinct was like is that the voice you hear idiot so mean
i used to hear that and i used to like i had to had to take a time in the past four or five years and be like, no.
No, you're not a fucking idiot.
Just handle it.
Such a superior tone that your imagination has as well.
What's he done that's so impressive?
Yeah, you're the fucking idiot here, and then I'm back in the mix.
That's funny, too. yeah you're you're a fucking idiot here and then i'm back in the mix so yeah like that's a hugely beneficial thing is like you fuck up or something doesn't go your way like i had to consciously do this like i do it more second nature now but i would like have to
consciously stop negative thinking and be like stop it like you're not being some drill instructor
in your head correcting a negative negative reinforcement isn't going to work here.
Like you need to,
you know,
fix whatever the problem is because you want to fix it organically because you
want,
because you desire that it be fixed,
whether it's weight loss or whatever.
And even when I do fuck up with something,
having a mindset of like,
Hey,
like,
and I know that Michael doesn't like the gratitude stuff that like the,
the,
the silly over the top gratitude stuff, of like, hey, like, and I know that Michael doesn't like the gratitude stuff, like the silly over the top gratitude stuff, but like, just like being organically appreciative
of what you have and like being whole minded of it of like, am I really going to allow this
to poison my mind today? No, I won't. I'm going to look at, you know, the house I'm so blessed
to live in. I'm going to call my grandma. I'm going to call my dad. I'm going to talk to my brothers.
Like,
and you go through and you do stuff like that.
And it's markedly,
markedly better.
Yes.
So anyone who's not,
anyone who has that voice in your head,
I know what that's like.
And you don't,
you're not improving yourself by,
by humoring it.
Be nicer to yourself in your head.
That's what I don't like.
I like circular negative thoughts about things. You can't change. That's right. That's right. like is the circular negative thoughts about things you can't change.
That's right.
That's the poison.
That's right.
Just things that are out of your complete control.
And how do you stop doing that?
How do you stop those thoughts?
How do you stop those thoughts?
Ayahuasca.
Alcohol.
Listen, the way that you stop them is now, of course, microdosing does help.
It does.
But it also helps to not take them seriously and to not have this idea.
Look, this is the idea that is the big fucking booby prize trap that everybody's
got their fucking tongues lapping out of their mouth for is that this is going to make you better
oh you know what this one it's going to make you better and can i tell you every time you fall for
it you're just fucking retarded because ain't nothing going to make you better ain't nothing
going to make nobody better because you're just a human being and there ain't nothing that's going
to make you better and every time we fall for make nobody better because you're just a human being and there ain't nothing that's going to make you better. And every time we fall for it,
that's the pain that we experience. It's not because you ain't got enough willpower. It ain't
because you don't have enough discipline. It ain't because you don't get up early enough.
It's because you fell for the same fucking trick that something was going to make you better
instead of recognizing that everything's goddamn all right right now, just the way it is,
instead of recognizing that everything's goddamn all right right now just the way it is just the way it is and this is the way that you can live your life without having to wait for something to
happen i don't know like that and the first step is drugs i like high expectations i like being
mean to me and nice to everybody else like that i feel like is a way to
get shit done you can achieve um this idea that everything is fine the way it is as opposed to
everything could be better and needs improvement i get that i'm hearing me circumstances can be
improved but you can't be improved there's a difference here of course circumstances can be improved but you can't be improved yes There's a difference here. Of course, circumstances can be improved, but you can't be improved. Yes. You can make more money. Yes. You
can have a better wife. Yes. You can have better kids. Yes. You can do everything better, but you,
you can have a younger wife. I should say you should, you could have a,
whatever, but you can't, you can't categorically improve yourself as a human.
You can't become a better human.
Because all you're doing is sliding the scale of fucking...
Of...
Of...
Judging it.
You can't become a better person.
You don't think people can become better over time?
Better at what?
Well, I guess it would depend.
What do you quantify as better? When you're saying better, what do you mean? You can't guess it would depend. What, what, what do you quantify as like better? Like when
you're saying better, what do you mean? You can't become a better person. Look, can you become
better at practicing certain virtues? Yes. Can you become better at basketball? Yes. Can you
become better at driving? Yes. But can you become a better person? No, because that's what you are
by nature. There's this fucking tricky thing that people think, Oh, well, if I start meditating a lot, a lot i'm going to become better in some way no you're just going to be better at
sitting there and trying not to think but it's not going to improve you in any fucking way
if you are improving yourself in virtuous ways like if someone is becoming kinder and more patient
and treating people better and they do that in a sincere way so let's say in
their youth they were not like that and then they're fucking 48 or whatever 49 ancient ancient
old man and uh and all of a sudden they start being polite and kind like i would say that person
like maybe they softened up they got better You would say maybe just that they're not better.
I'd say they're different than they were. And each way that we are is perfectly suited for
that situation. The environment creates the organism. Whatever situation you're in,
the way that you are is perfectly suited to that. What I'm trying to say, guys,
is that there's this idea of the way that you should be. And if you could just be that way,
then you'd be okay. If you could just be the way that you ought to be, then you'd be happy.
And that is not true. The way that you are is the way that you want to be. And Woody,
if you want to accomplish everything and fucking climb 14ers and fucking build skyscrapers that is the beautiful fucking way that you are a human being but if you're going
to expect everybody to be like that you're going to be very disappointed
nor do you want it to be because then it would take the shine from what you are because you
get to look down on people who aren't like you and rightfully so because they don't accomplish
i think you missed the part about
me being nice to you. That's the target.
You really painted me as
mean to strangers, and that's not who I aspire to be.
I'm just teasing you.
I'm just teasing you.
I had to get a pheromone so I could truly
look down on lesser men.
Losers.
This is my hard work
personified
these idiots aren't even flying around high out of their minds on ayahuasca
learning truths about the universe in a no-fly zone over school
what he's up there fighting the luff waffa three days a week
i i understand part of the you know self-improvement and like betterment stuff, but I just don't agree with the, I guess the virtuous part of it.
Like someone who is in their sixties, who has become a kinder patient or more patient, like better person, more considerate.
Like, I don't know how else you could describe that other than someone becoming better.
like i don't know how else you could describe that other than someone becoming better like they're they're treating the people around them in a way that you know you you objectively you
want to treat other people how you want to be treated that's just kind of a a rule of thumb
and so if you go your first 30 years of life not abiding by that at all being a real scum fuck
and then you have an awakening like i really i think that would you say would you tell that person that
the first 30 years of their lives were wasted no definitely not well then neither would i
i would say that they were being exactly who they could be at that moment and they couldn't be they
might become a better better company they might become better conversationalists they might
be better at becoming friends but guys do you see don't you see the fucking trap door that you're
standing above when you're trying to get better because it's never going to end you're and look
if you want to play that game by all all means, keep going. Keep trying to perfect yourself until you die.
Please, by all means.
But if you don't want to have this noose around your neck of never being able to be able to say,
hey, man, I actually accomplished something,
then recognize that it's just a game that you are creating the rules of.
Whatever way that you're going to say I'm better is a way that you're judging it
100%. So you're both the judge and the subject, and it's just a circular thing.
I mean, if it were truly subjective and all actions and emotions had an equal outcome,
I would agree. But I would argue that people who treat others kindly are happier internally than people who treat others cruelly.
And in that way, improving yourself, making yourself better through intentional decisions about your behaviors is absolutely possible and should be encouraged.
But, dude, that's that's what you're saying should be according to you.
Look, there are people like Bill Gates in the world who.
I don't know what the fuck. I don't know how you become like the world who i don't know what the fuck i don't know how
you become like this person i don't know that i i whatever motivates him look i don't know anything
about him but at some point you got enough money and clearly not because i don't understand that
you see so whether i think it should be or people should be happy or whether they should be virtuous
whether i think it should be or not it ain't never going to be that way. And there are going to be people who are going
to be assholes and God damn it. Good thing for them because that's what makes life like it is
because what you're trying to do is argue with reality in all of these ways where we're trying
to improve ourselves. We're trying to say, well, God damn it. I should have, instead of getting
my dick sucked, I should have done this instead during this fucking trip, which is insane.
When you think all you're doing is arguing with reality for what?
To prove a standard that you made up that is in contradiction to what actually happened.
Do you see the insanity of this?
This is fucking.
I don't think it's all.
I don't think it's necessarily made up, like especially the virtue part, which I am sticking on.
We are social animals and it's objective that we engage better and are healthier in societies when we are honest and true and and respectful and kind and patient.
Like these things are all good. These are objectively good things for people to practice.
I would not agree with that. It is not objectively good for you to be kind if you are being threatened with violence.
That wouldn't be kindness.
That would be responding to a threat.
Kindness would be going out of your way to treat someone in a way that's genuine and offer assistance or help or being there if they're in an emotional.
I had the same initial response as Michael, but finding little corner cases doesn't make his statement incorrect.
Right.
Like my thing was, well, what if you're a drill sergeant? You're supposed to be mean. finding little corner cases doesn't make his statement incorrect. Right? Like I,
my thing was,
well,
what if you're a drill sergeant?
You're supposed to be mean.
That's not.
Taylor is saying these things are virtues by and large,
even if there is a little spot where it's not always appropriate.
Yeah.
Well,
there's all things are virtuous though.
All things,
all things that happen are virtuous.
Well,
no Holocaust virtuous,
not in all things. If everything's virtuous, not 9 11 virtuous. Was the Holocaust virtuous? Not in all things.
If everything's virtuous, nothing is.
Was 9-11 virtuous?
Like, you keep saying, all things are this, and nothing is that.
You've got these absolutes.
I understand that.
That sounds kind of shitty.
What I'm saying is, I don't know the word for it, but everything that happens has to be accepted maybe is the better way to say it
and if we want to live sanely in life it it can't be hey that shouldn't have happened
well whether it should have happened or not it did yeah if i could rephrase that it almost
sounds like acceptance is the lynchpin for peace inner peace for sanity really for for living for living in reality for those things
are i'll be the best inner peace is maybe a better phrasing is what i was going for
when accepting the things you can't control yeah and um yeah it's got me thinking a little bit like
i don't like accepting the things i can't control i I like trying as hard as I can to see how much I can do.
Maybe I don't always live up to that, but that's who I aspire to be.
If you've got a limited amount of brain juice, though,
it just seems silly to devote any of it to,
man, I wish my feet weren't hairy.
Either get the electrolysis or just don't, Kyle.
Yeah, I knew that one wasn't hypothetical.
I've seen them.
Oh, God, I look like a werewolf.
Second generation in his bloodline to stand up right.
My uncle was an actual chimpanzee.
That's why Kyle throws his feces.
That's a different reason.
I just like it.
throws his feces that's a different reason i just like it man as uh you mentioned way way earlier being a a food snob about uh the tomato thing is that your biggest food snobbery or do you have a
couple of like are there like foods that if you're served you're like
i didn't know like this tomato is wrinkly take that shit throw this at the chef for me yeah Are there foods that if you're served, you're like, tut, tut, tut, tut? No, no, no.
This tomato is wrinkly.
Take that shit back.
Throw this at the chef for me.
Dude, there is something that kind of grosses me out, is soggy bread in a sandwich.
I don't think that's – I think you're very on point there.
I don't think that's too ridiculous at all.
It's gross.
No wrinkles on tomatoes though
no no unless i'm on lsd are you a crab or a lobster person
a lot of work for either one of those wrong a lot of work that's interesting i was like if he
says lobster he has a problem with the work if If he says crab, he prefers the flavor.
And then you're like, they're both too much work.
Michael, you've got to self-reflect on this.
Michael's high as shit at Red Lobster.
Like, what's even the point of eating crab?
Somebody please bring me a steak.
Hey, waitress, practice a little virtue.
Crack this shit for me.
Get that meat out.
Dip it in the butter. Man love i want crab right now i love people opening my shellfish for me it is i i've only
had it on cruise lines that's the only place i go fancy enough for that level of service
but these guys are professional crab and lobster openers and it's a it's a joy to see
and i'm like uh have you ever seen those videos of like a Chinese factory worker
like frantically trying to remove the shrimp tails fast enough?
That's them when I'm there on the conveyor belt.
They can't get the meat out fast enough.
I'm just devouring pound upon pound of crab.
I think my most ever might have been eight pounds in a city.
Eight pounds of crab?
What's with these shells?
I wouldn't eat for like 30 hours beforehand.
I'd prep.
I'd get ready.
I live in Missouri, and so I don't get good seafood in ever.
I have to wait until I'm near the ocean.
Where in Missouri?
St. Louis.
Oh, dude.
I was in Marshfield, Missouri.
Oh, right. You know where that is?
That's in like South Central, isn't it?
Way, way from here
Near Springfield
Oh, yeah, the total opposite side, down by Branson
There are goofballs down there
We don't associate with those Missouri
Missouri Inns
You ever go down to Branson for a show?
For a show? Yeah, don't they have like all sorts of fun like christian children activities when i was a kid i went to branson a few times
and it was uh the the thing i remember about it most was when i was like nine my little brother
was eight and he straight up won a pie eating contest he beat like he beat like two adults who were up
there one one of the adults no shit did like that thing from a movie where he just like
started eating it with like a fork like just ate a reasonable about a pie
because i guess it was cheaper to join the contest for like eight bucks than to buy a whole pie for like 20. And so he did that.
And oh shit.
We lost.
I think we lost his.
Can you hear us?
Are you there, Michael?
He said something about a dying battery earlier.
He did.
That is that is probably it for Michael.
Check out his link to his channel below
if you're interested in him.
Mm hmm.
Yep. Yeah. What do you stepped away and kyle and i was like a little bit of a tiff i was like what happened i i was like i was
i remember i was looking up at the top left where it shows the recording time and i'm like
god damn it kyle we're like 46 minutes in and you guys are fighting
he didn't think i no i don't know what he's done he didn't think i believed him for some reason
about that story about that that was out i didn't i didn't think so so you know he told the story
to us while you were gone about uh the the lady threatening to kill the children and she had the
gun in the house hidden and i thought she
was the one who went to him for treatment and then he's like no no the husband i'm like wait so he
came to you years later and sought treatment or like after the fact like no he left the kids there
with the death threat hanging over them and left the country and came with me and i was shocked by
that like happening and he took that as me thinking he was lying
but right what actually happens you thought that the guys i thought the man was logical ridiculous
yeah yeah yes but not that michael was a liar that wasn't where you know i didn't think that
until he brought it up three times he's like it's like you don't think it's true it's like you try
to see try to poke holes in my story and i don't i no not at all i want you to
tell me more about the situation and why that you know it was surprising that was a good idea
surprising is that the conversation was better after the fight yeah like unironically better
you know i don't subscribe to that uh i embrace my ego and i am the reason that they call me smug and i i i
ticked a little he's like you sit there in your chair or always yeah you sit there in your chair
all smug judging this and i was like sitting there in your chair, all smug, judging this. Sitting there in your fucking chair
with your goddamn headphones in your nose
with your fucking smug teeth.
He seemed like a pretty sincere guy
to me, and I was really sympathetic
to his...
Man, that guy went through one of the worst,
the saddest story of all time.
The most traumatic thing to go through
and ever. If that was pitched
for the beginning. He earned his depression.
If that was pitched for the beginning of a movie,
it would literally...
I was going to make a joke
when he said it early on and be like,
dude, that is literally unbelievably
sad.
It would get turned down in a writer's room for being like
no one endures this level of 364 days of man pregnant yeah like that's in that's heartbreaking
yeah to even be able to go on she's pregnant i wonder how long the period yeah he said that
how long from the car crash to the lsd trip did we get a vibe for that period of time
no oh i thought maybe we didn't learn how often he takes it oh we did every single day
every single day well he's like oh i microdose though you know like constantly microdosing is
my guess he wouldn't answer that was funny to me. What he was like,
so how many,
how would you do them up?
He goes on about being a sovereign citizen or something.
That's not what he really said,
but something silly.
And then,
so how many times?
Wait,
hold on.
I don't want to,
I don't want to forget this idea.
Can we book a show where we get him and that prison guy?
Jesus Christ.
And, And honestly, and I want to see
if we can get to where all three of us
are off screen at the same time.
It's just those two.
But we don't come back.
Until the crew breaks up.
It's just like, I'm going to tell you this.
You need to be doing LSD.
And he's like, you know, I was stealing.
I was robbing a bank once. And he's like that's fascinating how'd you rob that bank ah i'm gonna
my daughter programs cell phones for a living and she's only six years old her name's susan and then
the other guy she could and he's like i'm i'd like to make this movie. I produce movies. And so the drug guy says,
that's great.
You're a movie producer.
What do you do?
And he goes on for like five minutes inexplicably.
And the drug guy somehow understands
every fucking word and just nods stagely.
That would be a good show.
Those three together,
nobody can answer a fucking question.
Look, I'm so sorry for that man's
unbelievable loss. It is the saddest
shit I've ever heard. I ain't lying.
I wasn't sitting here smugly judging his story.
I was sitting here... I couldn't
believe what he was telling me. It does seem like
there was a disconnect from time to time.
We'd ask a
direct question and not get a direct answer.
Or he'd tell a story, we'd be like, wow.
And he was like, are you calling me a liar?
No. That wasn't what I was going for at all and then there are just these he's like what are you trying to get at what are you trying to get at what i don't know what you
want to talk about right now i'm like i want to talk about how that guy's wife was going to smoke
him and his kids and he went and did drugs in another country with you and how like and at
one point i kind of suggested that he might be culpable if she had killed the kids and I saw him react to it
it was funny
I saw his face react
got him a little
got him a little
Kyle does not like being
called smug
I wasn't being smug
I was trying to contain
that part of me that wanted to yell
sir something awful happened to you.
I bet, just guessing here, that you sustained a head injury in that crash that killed your wife.
And I bet in the years since, you've abused drugs so much daily
that you have a hard time communicating very well right now.
And I also think that your perception of reality is literally altered right now.
So you're getting some readings off me that aren't exactly accurate.
Plus, you don't know me very well.
I told him I had four kids when he tried to use that against us.
He was like, do you have kids, Taylor?
And Taylor was like, no.
Then you could never understand.
Do you have kids, Kyle?
And I went, four.
You're not going to use that to get on me.
We really don't know exactly how many.
I had names ready to rattle off.
I was like, it's my wife.
I was going to name after all the dogs.
I was going to use the dogs' names.
Bart, Lisa, Maggie.
My wife, Morty.
Who's the king of the hill kid?
Is it Tommy?
Bobby.
Bobby, Joseph, Luann, and Con.
Those are my kids.
Bobby, Joseph, Luann. That'd be funny are my kids. Bobby, Joseph, Luann.
That'd be funny if you caught on to the roots.
He's Vietnamese.
What are your kids' names?
Ross, Rachel, Joey.
There's two more.
Fucking Rudolph, Blitzen, Dasher, Dancer.
I kind of liked him, and i was certainly empathetic to his story
he just it just took a little persistence sometimes to get him to go where i was trying to
yeah it's just hard with a lot of like psychedelic people to get them going in the direction you want
because a huge amount of it is saying learn to accept the things you can't control
that's the overwhelming majority of it seemingly the core of it and a lot of it so he'll say that
and it's like you can see all three of us be like yeah that's that's true like anything that helps
you accept the things you can't control if you're five eight and you want to be six four you got to learn to accept that like that's that's a fact you'll be happier when you do but then it gets backfilled with so much
stuff like everything everything is reality and nothing is is extant other than your uh
internal human self and it's like okay well what is my internal human self if not an
amalgamation of my thoughts and
beliefs?
My biggest one was, he was like, everything's fine.
There's nothing wrong with anyone.
Everyone needs to understand that.
And I was like, and the first part is
the first step is doing drugs with me
in Costa Rica.
Come on. If anybody wants to join
him for drugs in Costa Rica,
his link is down below.
I bet you'll have a hell of a time.
I'm kind of tempted.
Maybe your wife's bought a gun.
Maybe you don't know where it is.
Just learn to accept that.
Just learn to accept that.
I want somebody to arrive like a...
When your wife buys a gun and threatens to kill your kids,
you go,
that's life. Sometimes life throws you a curveball threatens to kill your kids. You go, that's life.
Sometimes life throws you a curveball.
Go ahead, Kyle.
At what point would he not think it's a good idea to leave the country and come do drugs with him in Costa Rica?
I wonder.
Dear Jonathan, or whatever his name was.
Michael, was it?
Michael Griswold.
Michael.
Dear Michael, my house is currently on fire.
I had thoughts of calling for assistance.
My children are inside
i realized nothing really matters when would we head to costa rica like at what point should we
actually focus on what's going on like that one was a fire in the kitchen the barn's burning down
in the backyard the children are about to be killed yeah and then like don't like saying like
every like all of this stuff is nothing it's meaningless
it's it's just thoughts that's what are you're in your own head and this and that is you know it
so much of it is just internal like just act not even internally externally contradictory
where it's like everything is just you in your head and nothing matters, but it matters deeply that you what improve your ability to see the world in
this way.
And so it's your,
your internalization of information is wrong and that needs to be fixed.
Well,
that's a mechanism by which you,
you garner information,
like saying that it doesn't make sense.
Nothing's wrong.
That's like,
I hear how it doesn't make sense.
Like it's not lost on me, but's a guy whose life mission the focus of what he has
going on seems to be inner peace and you say accepting what you can't control that's it kind
of but i don't know if i think it's accepting everything and embracing peace is what he's trying to do. And that is sort of compounded or connected to this idea of psychedelics, which are very difficult to explain.
I don't know anyone who's gone on a trip and accurately tells somebody else what his experience was.
You can get little elements of it, like your colors changed.
Or one time I did mushrooms and I found campfire smoke a little purplish and endlessly fascinating i'm a little fascinated
by smells in the first place but it was on a whole new level where this smoke was just
all i needed to to enjoy my night um but by and large people don't describe their trips very well
and that combined with this idea of accepting inner peace being so paramount was a tough message to deliver.
It is, but it's – and I understand, I guess, the inner peace thing that he's trying to put forward.
It's just –
And why – given his background, why he would be like that.
Of course.
Yeah, yeah.
Like 100% I get he like is that way
and everything and why that works for him it's just what i really want to i'm sorry oh no no
there's nothing meaning like just telling someone like nothing none of this matters
it's all meaningless and then going into how important it is to change your thinking in regard to these things is odd.
I think we need to circle back and just realize that we're trying to pick apart these barely
cogent arguments from someone who wasn't sober and hasn't been sober in years.
Oh, you think he was high?
You're smoking weed?
While we watched him and he microdoses daily so
he's high on at least two drugs right then having a conversation with us that speaks to my lack of
observation skills yeah you couldn't tell he was a little no i may i actually thought go ahead kyle
i did a mean thing i may have referenced the fact that he was outside a building and that there were
birds and i was there for that oh okay i was like this situation needs a little soothing i was looking at you when i said it i wanted to
see how you reacted i knew taylor was gonna love it either way and i was like oh what he's trying
to chill things out he doesn't know what guy called me smug he'd be with me if he heard that
dude i so i i asked you the guest was and i came a little prepared like all right i knew what he
was all about i was like should i microdose for the show just to like join him taylor's background
would have fucked me up what is what is happening there you're going from purple to blue you are
changing colors right yeah yeah it's one of the lights that that yeah it rotates from purple it's a
it's literally not it's just auto correcting to from it's changing colors you're right there's
no there's no color oh it's my it's the pc light that's what it is shining back there
i did not i forgot i had that thing yeah so your computer is morphing its RGB, and that's what I'm seeing.
There's probably a way to turn it off.
I thought it was really planned.
Taylor was like, you know what?
New me, new background.
We're going to get special today.
We're upping our production quality.
I'm not going to show up on camera with a bunch of trash in the background
like some loser.
Yeah, that's so true.
That's what I was doing.
I was putting in the hours you know making sure
that my pc was angled correct on that i'm sure clothes that need to be stored i bet you've got
a super good motherboard i bet you've got all sorts of software that could uh don't even ask
me which one i have i don't want to get into it yeah i'm just saying like like like you could
make that thing like flash your picture
or any color you want
you could do all sorts of things
I want to talk about the shitty bat patio though like what happened
yeah and
how did you allow it to get there and how do you
live with yourself these are the questions Kyle and I have
well it's a
it's the patio that was there when I
bought the house like the concrete pads
and everything and I just
haven't done i just haven't
done any i haven't done anything to it because it's like fine but it doesn't like there's a big
crack in it yeah it's been it's been a mere four and a half years and uh i just it doesn't like
it's fine for having my smoker my grill and like my patio set all that swing chair like all that
shit out there but it just doesn't look nice.
Like it's not like pavers.
It's like big, giant concrete, like square blocks, like eight of them all together.
Each one's probably like seven feet by six.
It's big.
And there's like big cracks in it.
And it's got that shit that like the previous homeowner just like sprayed in there to try
and foam it up or like that rubber stuff.
And so there's like multiple of those track lines throughout it.
And so it just looks shitty.
And so now that I'm looking at like,
I might want to get, I was looking at a hot tub
and I don't want to put it out
there on a patio that's not super nice.
What?
I want to go before Kyle because
I think it's an incredibly hard fix.
So let's do the
problem before the answer.
To me, if a back patio is shitty like that and you need good pavers done to make it look really nice, you have two options.
You can either rip all that shit up with your own muscles, lay down the pavers, and if you're like me, when you're finished, you have just a different shade of horrible back patio.
just a different shade of horrible backpacking right because the prep work on the earth is it's a skilled task to get that done well and uh you know if you're a regular person who's never
done it before your first effort is not likely to look pro on the other hand if you hire somebody
to do this it is curiously expensive you're like what it's $9,500 or something stupid like that
and it's like it's not easy but Kyle what do you got I grew up doing this um like pouring concrete
pads and making them look nice like we did that all the time on the farm there would be um like
those big feed bins you see the big like steel tall things you climb up on a ladder those have
to sit on a pad and constantlyantly, they were making you upgrade.
Now you need a bigger bin. Now you need two bins. Now you need three.
We were always doing that. It holds tons and tons
of feed. It has five metal feeds. It's like a hopper.
It's like a huge hopper that holds many thousands of pounds
of chicken feed.
A huge hopper that holds many thousands of pounds of chicken feed.
Okay.
Yeah.
Oh, and this thing sits on a concrete pad that needs to be done well.
Yeah, I've poured many concrete pads.
Also, we poured the pad for the back patio of my dad's house.
I did that pad, me and my dad, just us.
And the concrete guy pouring the concrete.
I've done it a bunch of times have
you ever done so i've poured some shitty pads and i've poured concrete that like in case a uh
a post you know but i haven't done anything that like people are gonna stand around and enjoy
barbecued food yeah so you're gonna dig the ground up and you're gonna you're gonna have
stakes and uh and uh strings and then you're gonna lay um boards um plywood boards to sort of frame what this thing is going to look like it doesn't
matter how tall they are it's just that you're making this bowl this concrete proof bowl or
square bowl and once they pour the concrete you've got time like you've got many minutes 30 minutes
no not well after the fact you painted, like in a garage-type situation.
You can get them to go over it with this machine that will get it perfectly smooth
if you want it to be really nice.
Or what we would do is just take a 2x4 at first, and it's the most –
it is the hardest thing you'll ever do.
You're smoothing it?
It's using a 2 two by four and there's
a man on the other end of the two by four 12 foot long and you're raking concrete you're moving the
concrete like like like it's you know pushing it to the corners and making it all fill in and
everything it's so laborious pushing liquid concrete as you might imagine and then um but
but you would get that machine guy to come in and polish the thing up,
and you would have a really smooth surface
that you could then paint like a garage floor,
and it would look good, I think.
That's what I would do.
I had someone come out and give me a quote.
This was a year ago.
I called them and was like,
hey, I want you to come out. And they did.
And I was like,
showed him the back patio.
He's like,
all right,
if I want all of this concrete torn out,
removed,
you know,
and then a new,
you know,
pad board or pavers or whatever the situation would be.
And,
you know,
I want it to look like this.
Like,
what am I looking at?
And like,
we were just sitting at my dining room table with me,
like showing me the,
the quote and everything. And like, 22 000 whoa 22 000 i i like kind of almost like
uh probably
15 by 35 15 15 by 40.
Oh,
that's pretty good.
It's a big area.
Yeah.
The concrete around my pool,
I want to say it costs $40,000.
So it's,
it's a lot of concrete. We have like a couple doors that we wanted to get them all linked together.
And we wanted an area big enough to put,
um,
lawn chairs,
but like the kind you lay on,
uh,
yeah.
Adirondack or whatever.
And, um, also it would look nice.
So it's tan and they use some sort of mat that like you put pressure on.
And then when you pick it up, there's a pattern in the kind.
Oh, yeah.
I bet that's special for the sides of pools.
You don't want people slipping.
Yeah, using grip.
Yeah, it makes sense.
Yeah.
So that explains why the cost was high.
But concrete's curiously expensive.
And like Kyle said, possible to do yourself.
Maybe I lived in a bubble.
I grew up three miles away from Morgan Concrete Company.
And they would just run us a truck over for, I mean, a whole truck of concrete was like $350 or something like that.
Nine yards?
Nine cubic yards of concrete.
This is so long ago.
I have to ask my dad what the prices were.
I remember a pad would be
a few hundred dollars worth of concrete
for something that was
maybe eight feet
by eight feet or ten feet
by ten feet.
A spot like that.
I'm sorry to cut you off.
Nine cubic yards of concrete is $1,400.
Which makes it totally reasonable
that Kyle, as a kid, pre-COVID,
paid $300 something.
Yeah, that makes sense.
Yeah, it sounds like
the expensive part, I would imagine, of what you're
doing is getting that shit up, though.
That is a mess that requires
machinery and men doing
laborious work for hours.
Looking at the concrete pads, they are so thick.
They're big boys.
I don't know what previous owners of this house,
what kind of activities were they doing?
How thick?
I mean like the actual pads themselves.
They're thick on the ground, like the height on the ground of them.
They're just big.
How deep?
Probably like that.
Four inches or so.
What would you say to doing it yourself
out there with a jackhammer?
I cut my hand today
putting a solar light
in the front of my house.
I was putting those stakes for some solar lights out front, and I...
You look like you're built for jackhammers, though.
I feel like you'd be good at that.
I could do that.
I could do the jackhammering, but I was just putting these solar lights in the ground,
and like a retard, like in the rock bed where my Japanese maple and my rose bushes and stuff is.
And I went to put one down and I was like, Oh,
this one's giving me some trouble. I thought it was like,
I just needed to push a little harder with like the, you know,
the solar light, those little things on the side of the walkways.
I thought I had to push the stake down a little harder to get past that
little kind of fabric barrier you use under the rock to keep weeds from going
up. And so I like went and i it
doesn't ever work and i pushed down on it and it like broke with 0.06 pounds of pressure and it and
i punched downward and sliced my finger up on the plastic and like had literally had one of those
thoughts i was talking about earlier with michael where i was i had an instinct to be like you
fucking idiot you can't put a goddamn solar light in your front yard you go outside for 40 seconds of yard work and you cut your hand so
much and go put gauze on it I'd never make it in the real world thank god your job tonight is being
a retard online and uh I had to tell myself like no it's that's just an honest to god mistake
these things no
no i do the same thing when i when i cut myself though yeah but i that's when it's deserved it's
just you're annoyed at yourself a little bit hey you push too hard on the cheap piece of chinese
plastic it broke and you cut yourself calm down like no that that's where i like to be angry at
things i i can be angry at things, literally.
I'm much more apt to get mad at a thing or me fucking up a thing
than I am at just another person.
When I cut myself that last time, my stupid foot,
I was just yelling at myself as I limped through the house,
dripping blood everywhere.
You fucking idiot.
You fucking idiot.
You fucking idiot.
Let's go to the ER,
asshole, since you've just
crucified yourself.
Did you drop a kitchen knife on your foot?
Is that the one?
I thought it had gone through my foot
because the blood was running between my toes
and then under the bottom.
When I looked at the bottom of my foot,
there's blood coming out of the bottom.
It was a big, heavy-duty, heavy knife.
So sharp.
It could have gone through my foot as far as I knew.
I thought I was fucked up.
I told him when I got there, I was like, I think it went through my foot.
I'm not sure.
I didn't want to look.
I don't want to look.
It's wrapped up in a t-shirt.
This is going to scar.
It's fortunate.
The hair covers the scar. I don't know if gonna scar tendons cut or anything there it hit a nerve and uh so if i like scratch the scar it's all tingly oh yeah it your foot has lots of like important shit right on the top which sucks they should
put it in the middle. It went between my
to the right of my middle
toe on my right foot, if that makes sense.
You're talking about
the important stuff in the foot.
That reminds me of this scene from
Oz where they crucified someone to
the floor of the gymnasium.
And they watch
you nailing it through his feet.
Man, that show is just all l's it's
no one gets w's in that show so such a brutal show to watch i'm on the television sub uh subreddit
all the time and i saw someone being like i'm i just started watching oz and i love it i can't
and he starts laying out all these reasons.
And I started writing this paragraph.
I'm fucking sweating while I write it.
And I was like,
delete it. I just deleted it all.
But I was just thinking,
you're an idiot.
Like you have terrible taste.
Cause this look wonderful performances,
I guess,
man,
they make you believe that prison is real.
I don't know where they filmed it.
Presumably prison.
It's a 10 times better show.
If you fast forward through every monologue with uh augustus the wheelchair guy in it
if you fast forward through every single time he's on screen and not a prisoner in the uh lock
up area it's a better show on a better show i am loving for all mankind i i want you to enjoy the show too yeah i watched the first episode the
other night uh oh wait no that's the moon one that's the uh the soviets are fighting the the
u.s and all that uh sounds like they're fighting uh for for uh space supremacy yeah so they were
like all mankind on yeah yeah i'll try try it I have a harder time
getting real into sci-fi stuff
it's not sci-fi
he told me that it takes two or three
episodes to hook you so give it a
chance
Kyle is great at selling shows
sometimes I sell you
some shifty goods I'll admit
and it's
but sometimes he sends you LA Confidential in the mail
and it's a banger. I literally send him
L.A. Confidential in the mail.
It's my one DVD they have.
It's my collection.
Do you like to watch L.A. Confidential?
Hey,
sorry, the internet's
out. Who's interested in L.A.
Confidential or season?
You know what else I found?
Oh God, I need to go down there and get them
if there's even any disc.
Season four of It's Always Funny?
No, when I was like 13 years old or so,
so like 2004, I asked my grandma
because she was like, what do you want for Christmas
and your birthday or whatever?
And at the time what I wanted was like dvds and so like i wanted like get me this season
of this show and this and that and i ended up getting uh oh fuck oh this the i asked her i'm
like i want the simpsons i want all the simpsons seasons and And at that time, there's like 15 Simpsons seasons. And they didn't have more than like season four, like one, two, three, four available.
And so my grandma threw like, I don't even know what website she would have went to.
She ordered me this giant box that had the first like 13 to 15 seasons of the Simpsons from Japan or China or something.
Because there was Chinese lettering on the box and when you opened
up the discs there would be like bootleg pictures of homer that like weren't quite right on the disc
and it would and you and you couldn't know what episodes were on it because it was in chinese
and so like you'd put it in there and then you'd play it and it'd be like what am i gonna get and
it would just start playing through Simpsons episodes.
But it was like a DVD that was set up the way a movie is.
And so you just put in the DVD and it started playing five episodes of the
Simpsons.
You couldn't seek through to different episodes.
You couldn't select.
So I got like,
it was a great gift.
I watched all those Simpsons episodes a shit ton of times on my chinese bootleg
dvds awesome yeah when the power goes out you need or not the power obviously but the uh when
the internet goes out you need some dvds handy i've got a few i got maybe five or six that are
4k blu-rays i i need to find such a bad job at at moving those technologies forward that i don't
even know what they're called.
I don't know what the right disc is to buy when I order something.
And I'll Google it, and I can't get a very clear answer sometimes.
Is it not Blu-ray still? Blu-ray is 4K, right?
I thought Blu-ray was just Sony's version of high-definition discs,
which would include 1080p.
Kyle's right. Blu-ray started as 1080p um and then is there blu-ray hd
or something that is it i think it's maybe ultra hd fucking blu-ray 4k like like i don't know
right i just want the good one and it's so hard to fucking do and then if you're like me and maybe
taylor it's like is this wasted on my vision
so you guys think of me as someone who wears glasses because you see me on the show all the
time i'm not though i only wear glasses for reading and even then not all the time my
laptop is set up like a 90 year old and i am becoming someone who wears glasses all the time
i've just i'm like honey i hope you like dudes with glasses. You got to go contacts.
My eye doctor
said it wasn't an option, but I didn't
explore why.
Was it like they're not bad
enough to warrant it?
I mean, I don't think that's it.
He just hates contacts.
I think maybe
not all vision problems are correctable by contacts.
You don't want those.
I have prisms in most of my glasses,
and maybe that's something you can't do in contacts.
I don't know.
I'm inventing things.
Oh, okay.
If I put prisms in my armor in Diablo, it gives me more enchantments.
What kind of benefits do your prisms give you?
It corrects my double vision.
So I'm looking like this, and it's like,
we'll straighten that shit out for you. Permanent buff. Okay. Yeah, maybe contacts don't do that. it corrects my double vision so like i'm looking like this and it's like we're straightening that
shit out for you permanent buff okay yeah yeah maybe context so that's like that's like 25 points
to perception that's nice so i can correct it myself it's just a strain and an effort and like
i think it's one of the reasons i never became like the kind of reader taylor is because uh it
just it gives you a headache and it's a lot of effort.
Audiobooks are so nice.
Audiobooks aren't as good.
They're not as good.
You don't get to go at the rate you want.
You have to go at the rate the guy's reading it.
I can go at multiple rates.
I can make him talk faster than you could ever read.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, but then you're not even enjoying it.
You're just going to get eat bread too by some old man. I don't do that.
I listen. And then Daenerys said to Stormborn,
I will come for you. And she said to him, like,
Harrow! Harrow!
And then...
That's...
I went through
the trilogy in four hours.
I said to him, I'm going to come out of there
and I'm going to do this.
And then all he said gonna do this my favorite stories ever in all the like thousands of hours he's done on this show
is when he told us he listened to game of thrones i forget which book what is maybe the second or
third and then he couldn't follow it and he realized that he was listening to the audiobook
on shuffle yeah whenever i retell
this story it bombs i'm like this is the greatest story in the world it's so good
it's so good they can't using as you've got you've got to be in that mindset of that time though
right when game of thrones at least for us and i i seemed like all of the internet and social media
in the world was this transcendent cultural thing.
There are a lot of girls running around right now,
four or five years old, named Khaleesi.
It was a big fucking deal.
Those whores are going to be stripping soon.
What are they, four or five?
Maybe ten years from now?
There's a lot of limits but yeah it was a big deal
so listening to the audiobooks
out of order was just
it was like
such an awful thing
if you had done that to someone else
I'd be like oh too far
it's that shitty
of a thing to experience
I put myself in Taylor's shoes when I hear the story
anyway and think that it's not inconceivable that I just do that.
Like except blame for my inability to follow and not blame it on this,
especially the way the story is told,
because it's like,
Hey,
here's the John section.
All right,
here's the Ned section.
So you can just,
it just makes sense the way it jumps around,
how you might accept responsibility for why you can't follow.
Especially if you've never got an answer to your yeah i got a solution to your hot tub situation
all right how about how about you put it how about you ignore that ugly pad that that's there right
now and we just get the hot tub in somewhere else the other side or the other corner or somewhere
else indoor in my sunroom no no no outdoors outdoors but just not there where the concrete needs to
be removed somewhere else you may there's other you don't because you don't need concrete for a
hot tub can we cover the concrete with something just i'm asking and i and i don't know what i'm
talking about but if you were to lay pavers on top of the concrete and use that as your perfect
foundation is that stupid it would be wonky and apparently that would put
way too much weight on
the ground on the outside of my foundation
wall. Would the earth break?
The house could fall into the earth.
I don't know. If you put
too much heavy stuff on the planet, then it
breaks in that spot.
The patio I'm not dealing
with. It's fucking fine.
I'm an idiot.
I'll put the hot tub somewhere.
There's plenty of room in the grass.
Have you looked at hot tubs?
You got a brand in mind, a size in mind?
Yeah, I picked not a brand,
but I don't think I want more than four people.
Put the hot tub in your fucking yard.
Ah, mistake.
Mistake.
I'm going to do it here like so you want a hot tub that's
that will seat at least six or eight people you want the big one because you're gonna want to
stretch out and much no because because your legs touch the other side if you don't get one that
size when you sit down and just stick your legs out, they touch the other side. That's lame.
No, not if you get the,
like you get one with like a lounge section.
It has like a lounger and then like three other seats around it.
Like three normal seats with like different couples
and then like on the side.
That's what I had.
It was sort of a,
I really like it.
So it's like the same size
as like the five and six person hot tubs,
but it's only like four it says
because that longer seat.
But like other people can just sit there if you wanted to sit different is it for entertaining uh entertaining and like i i love
reading in the hot tub and so i want to like what if your hands get wet i'm just using a paperback
book i don't care if the book gets fucked up you don't mind touching paper with wet hands i don't
care no like just just me oh
that's just that is just you that wouldn't let me let me tell you how weird i am when i was a kid
like when we had a hot tub for like some years i would all the fucking time go out there at night
when i was like 11 12 years old and just read in the hot tub until it was until i was like i need
water desperately where is this hot tub this was like when i was a kid my parents yeah yeah they
had they i think they got on when i was like 11 or so 11 or 12 when i get in the hot tub i i have
i have most cd about my hands is that i don't they can't be wet and pruney i'm very uncomfortable
um or they and they can't be dry like they have to be moisturized the spot yeah you would not have
enjoyed the swim team
but carry on oh i couldn't have done it i literally couldn't have done it it would have
ruined my the idea of like i'm rubbing my hands on my seat right now to to remind myself that
my hands are moisturized and clean like like like i'm like they're good you're good bro
my hands are filthy i cut out washing them entirely. Growing up, working out or working.
My hands would get dirty.
Sometimes we'd use paint thinner. We'd be painting
a car and you'd get paint thinner on your hands.
My dad would just wash his hands with paint
thinner sometimes because he'd get car
auto paint on them and he'd be stripping it off.
It's the perfect thing to remove paint and
some other stuff. It draws all
the oil out of your hands and suddenly I'm like
I need to go home and moisturize
my hands. I got to get some fucking lotion.
I had to wear gloves during everything.
I would wear gloves
every time. I'm quick, but
if I put turpentine on my hands or
paint thinner, I think it's the same thing.
Afterwards, they feel
very cool and super clean and i like
that state you hate it but to me i'm like this is the cleanest my hands have ever been i can't
explain the smell but it's like denatured alcohol i was i was cleaning my my bong earlier today
before the show just pouring some of that like 90 isopropyl alcohol in there to like shake
around and remove any residue.
And like you described that like cold,
like clean feeling,
like some of that isopropyl alcohol like splashes off,
gets on my hand and you get that immediate,
like cool and perfectly sterile and clean feeling.
And it's like,
man,
it's probably not good for me to like dump this on my hands all
the time but this feels good i feel so emergency you can you can use alcohol to cool yourself
by like by putting on your skin obviously captain picard taught me that they were crash landed on
this planet and uh the man had snuck they'd had no water but the guy had a little bottle of alcohol
but he was sneaking swigs out of him the car was like confiscated it's like we need this for
emergencies or cooling or disinfected and i was like oh yeah that makes sense that would cool you
down yeah alcohol evaporates faster right so you'd think it'd cool faster yeah it does yeah when you
spill that isopropyl stuff on you like you don't you wouldn't even have time to wipe it off like
it's just apparently 70 is better for disinfecting wounds. Something about 90% isn't as effective as 70% for disinfecting wounds and killing bacteria.
I wouldn't have guessed that.
Well, for bongs, you want 91%.
You sure do.
Yeah, yeah.
You want to dissolve all that nastiness in there.
Oh, because you're using it as a solvent to break out.
Is it tarry?
Yeah.
It's this tarry sticky disgusting
shit that gets off the only good shit
to clean out glasses isopropyl
alcohol and if it's really
rough you can pour some like kosher salt in
there with it or that shit that
they sell at every head shop 420
cleaner or whatever it is which
is like this goofy ass smelling
blue paste with a bunch of beads
in it that you dump in there
and the way it always goes is you go and you go oh well i just used fucking two-thirds of the
liquid in there and not enough of the sand so now and it like blasts through through weed shit so
fast it's it's like those things are a health hazard you would imagine that yeah bong like i've seen i remember my drug dealer his bong was
so goddamn disgusting that there had to be bacteria or something growing in the water i mean the same
way like a health has like if you never clean your fork it's a health hazard like yeah i've
i will not smoke out of a disgusting bong if someone has a gross bong
that shit's like that the thought like when i have company he's in the air taylor
i have company over and i know that we're going to be smoking even if there's just like a small
bit of residue on on the outside of the bong i i blast that away when i go to someone's house
i have one friend in particular who's anal about his glass
like always has to be meticulous it's so wonderful to go smoke at his house because he'll be like you
want to go hit the bong and it's like you mean that pristine thing that you probably cleaned
15 minutes before i got here yes let's do that then you have some other friends especially in
college where you know that drug dealer fucking uh shit i almost just doxxed him because i realized his nickname included his
his whole name in it but we called him kush uh and he had a bong that was like he was sick often
so like i think that might have lost it like it was he he'd never cleaned a lot of upper respiratory
do you judge your friends on the quality i don't know bongs um but i think that our sponsor makes
really good ones those
like glycerin whatever does your friend have a bong of comparable quality or are you slumming
it over there no he's like it's funny being like a real adult now because like i go to a friend's
house and it's like it used to be like oh we're gonna smoke out of this fucking diet coke can all
dented up and now it's like oh i'm gonna smoke out of this fucking Diet Coke can all dented up. And now it's like, oh, I'm going to smoke out of.
Hey, we can use my nice ass bong with the glycerin chamber.
We can use your fucking nice ass $400 bong with fucking three percolators in it and every layer.
It's so much better than it is.
It's funny having a little budget.
And I'm not talking about like real generational wealth or anything but like when you go to the uh quickie mart at the gas station and it takes discipline because there's no budget problems there is not
a candy bar in that whole store give me that zag nut bar i'm made of zag nuts baby
sharing size and i'm like i i can afford to eat this whole thing share it at all or some sort of
king size or family size they get all your decisions are not budget driven anymore they
have to be driven by some other responsibility willpower my mom hates my my mom when i was a
kid and always i'm sure hated my uncle and uh't know why. And I remember one time she told me... Is this her brother?
No, it's my dad's brother.
She told me
once, I remember one time,
we were all in our car
and him and his family were in
their car and he got out and went in the
gas station and got a honey bun
and ate it in there and came back
with nothing for anybody.
And I was like, like fuck daddy would never do
that she's like no never do that he'd make it he'd get us he'd get you a honey bun first and it's
like that's so true like that's so true like that if there was going to be one honey bun like he
wasn't going to be getting any of it you know what i mean like yeah you know but it more than you know life is a honey bun life is a series of
honey buns that don't matter you just nothing matters and everything's all right yeah everything's
good everything taylor you know what i wanted to ask what was if something else was good i wanted
to but i but i i stuck, but I stuck with the Holocaust.
I was going to ask about a third thing
that you might not think was so good
that happened.
Jesus Christ.
We need to go there.
I'm glad you...
I was ready.
I wouldn't do that.
It wasn't a proportional response to smug.
I would have had to go get a soda
i would have had to be like i got most of this coke zero left i gotta get another one
what happened to me was this we we bought a new fish today and we're very excited about this fish
all of our fish are ornamental they don't really do anything but do any fish do anything they don't
have to do they do there are uh some fish that like they bite the sand and then eat the little
bugs out of it but by doing that they kind of stir it and keep your sand pristine and white
there's another fish like the one we got now he eats algae off the back and the walls and
we have like corals mounted close to each other where the snails don't fit and algae is growing but a fish would just love to sort of they can fly virtually and they
go in there and they get it and so we got this fish that eats algae and we were very excited
and we act because water to a fish is almost like blood like it's it's their temperature regulation
it's their chemistry you bring the fish from like the tank that it,
it comes with a bowl of water basically.
And we slowly add my water to it so that it gradually changes,
takes them out and acclimate the fish heart.
So all that went really well.
And a lot of fish don't eat for a day or two.
And you just sort of deal with that.
He hops in, he immediately starts eating algae.
We wish we didn't have.
And I'm like, this is so great.
This is going wonderfully.
We have another fish that's a bit of a bully, a clownfish like Nemo.
And she's a bit of a bully, but she's never bit anything.
She just nudges with her nose.
And I'm very aware that she does it to my hand when I put it in the tank.
It's bullying, but no one's hurt.
She does it to my hand when I put it in the tank.
It's, you know, it's bullying, but no one's hurt.
Well, Jackie knocks on the door and she's like, Bonnie is eating Blaze.
Part of his tail is missing.
I need help right now.
And I was like, what?
I was like, you need help?
And she did. So I caught the fish and I put them in a little plastic isolation box.
So now they can look at each other through the jail bars but he's safe in there
while they uh get used to each other so that's where you guys don't know listening but i wrote
in the chat like i'll be gone this will take about 15 minutes i don't know how long i was gone
but i was saving a fish's life and his tail is damaged but i googled it to grow back you can put
a little prosthetic on there oh they actually grow back that's what
google says i found like four sources like if little he just nipped his tail but um it looks
damaged it sucks but it should never seem to mind too much which is aren't clownfish like uh
transsexual or something like like can't don't they spontaneously switch sexes or something like
that they do whichever one is dominant becomes the female and if you like kill the female and add another male one of them will get dominant and
become the female and they also have harems sometimes we have one female and a bunch of males
but other fish do the opposite so they're probably cheap to produce and they are dude it's funny
clownfish i don't know if fish talk is interesting to the world, but I'm okay with this part.
Somebody bred clownfish, I'll make
it up, like 20 years ago.
And then they bred them.
These two clownfish who are still
alive, like 20 years later,
have produced millions
of fish. If you buy a clownfish,
it is likely that it has the same
grandparents as all the other
clownfish. And it's kind of nice as all the other clown fish and it's kind of nice
if you buy a fish it's called aquaculturing if you buy a fish that's been aquacultured bred in
captivity then it's already acclimated to like tank life you haven't damaged the environment
which i feel good about and um it's like it eats pellets and stuff because it was raised on them
the thing is ready to go and it was bred to do well in captivity.
You buy aquacultured fish if you can.
Taylor, I was going to ask.
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They also sell a piece of nerd rope that has 1250 milligrams in it.
And so it's like a fucking nerd.
They haven't,
we're supposed to get all of this.
This is all supposed to,
or I talked to him earlier.
We're all supposed to get all this tomorrow. Cause we've only, for those out there. Yeah. We're supposed to get all of this. This is all supposed to, or I talked to him earlier. We're all supposed to get all this tomorrow.
Cause we've only,
for those out there.
Yeah.
We're supposed to be getting the real strong shit tomorrow.
Uh,
which is a little intimidating.
I kind of want to put that big gummy drug rope,
nerd snake in a girl's butthole.
You think it would get her high?
I don't think that you should do that.
I think it'd be a waste of money.
I think you should take it orally. No, mean i was gonna eat it after somebody is so it'll
get you so you're just asking more of a this is more of a hygiene question it's actually more of
a antibiotic question i think i think their position is uh you know don't do that safe
be safe and uh don't use don't eat yeah oral use only do not
dip it in fecal matter and then consume it consume it as recommended matter and don't go bananas with
the edibles if you've been taking 100 milligrams of gas station quality stuff start lower than 100
milligrams of this stuff it's accurately d dosed. It's very potent.
So yeah, if you do get one of the big boy clusterfuck edibles
and you love it,
tweet me. Tell me how it went.
I'm going to be... Are you going to take a whole one?
I'm going to take a whole one. I'm going to take a whole
and just be stoned for
fucking 12 hours.
We left the topic, but I
went into research mode because i was intensely curious
and lock and load code pka code jizz check it out anything over at derrick's website
you saw your compils shoving shit up your ass is called boofing and you can do it with alcohol you
can do it with some other stuff and apparently in medical circles they have cannabis infused suppositories. Oh, I'm fully aware.
Oh, you knew this.
They prescribe them to cancer patients.
We're getting that shit
straight in your bloodstream.
So anyway,
you could do it.
Oral use only, though, with our gummy
drug ropes that we sell.
I think I'm gonna try
barodistro.com
pka20 20% off
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we're totally in the
putting cannabis into anything phase
of legalization
and if there was cannabis
infused lubricant that there is
there is and it works
again this whole butthole thing is not
just me making jokes I'm telling you it'll get you high as
fuck you gotta put some weed in your butt Woody
okay
yeah get after it
say less
they literally
Woody's got like a big
flower
the stems really hurt though, Kyle.
I don't know.
I'll come back next week.
Kyle, my stems were so pokey and pointy.
How do you do it?
We could talk to him about making that product.
We could brand it like Kyle's what would be a good
Kyle's butthole bonanza.
Uncle Kyle's tranny fluid.
No.
No, I'm not that.
I'm not doing that.
I'm going to have to fucking hard pass that one.
Oh, God.
I don't know what we call it.
As far as what I'm going to take when it gets here tomorrow,
I'm going to start small like always
with a new provider or anything like that.
If I'm changing brands or checking out something new because you never know what the potency is going to be.
You know how you test it is you take eight of these at a time and you go, oh.
So I take five of those at a time, those that you've got right there.
And those take me to a real happy place.
My head is pounding with highness when I take five of those.
That's the only way to describe that.
And that's 125 milligrams compared to 300.
Because these are 25 of these.
Those are just lower.
Is that the HHC or the Delta 8?
These are HHC.
The HHC and the Delta 8.
Oh, okay.
I find the Delta 8 to be stronger
but um a different high like i like the hhc is more of a and i hate when this is that girl
fucking high on zima shit maybe but when i took the hhc stuff i was in a very giggly happy mood
and watching like old tv shows and just having a real sweet time.
But when I take the Delta 8,
I'm getting blacked out
high. We're not
going to remember most of the movie we watched tonight.
And that's kind of nice. We talked about
removing memories of movies last
week. When you watch a movie super
duper high, you know
you like the movie, but you don't really remember
it that well. So you get to watch it a second time and kind of for the first time.
Did I tell you, I went to go see, it must've been like 2000.
Yeah. 2009 doing Django Unchained came out.
So I was like 18 and me and some buddies were going to go and see the movie.
And so we get in my buddy's big SUVv we go out there and uh we pre-game we get a
little a little drunk well probably probably a little too drunk that we should have been before
going to see django unchained not like rowdy drunk just like that like the drunk enough that if you
stop drinking you're going to get tired and then we combined that with a shit ton of weed and i remember
sitting in the back like hitting a vape high out of my mind at django unchained and like loving it
absolutely like in my mind loving django unchained and like the next day i was like dude that movie
was awesome like talking to some buddies and I realized like I had no
memory of the movie itself outside I was like yeah that part where like Leo got to the plantation and
fuck what what else I went back and I watched it again sober and I was a hundred percent blacked
out by the time he rode his horse into that plantation for the first like 22 minutes
into the movie i like blacked out and so i had no memory i got to enjoy django unchained fully twice
i watched uh super troopers 2 with chiz and uh we were so blacked out high that
i don't know what happened i think it was was funny. Not as funny as the first.
I got some laughs. I remember that. But it was when
they took the state charges
off me and they're like,
the feds are building their case.
I'm like, what do you mean? The charges are already there.
They're not going to just charge me the same shit.
Oh no, they're looking for new stuff.
They're interviewing people.
So during that time,
I asked my lawyer, can I like go to colorado and get fucking high because you know it's legal there
and they're like huh yeah don't bring anything back though don't don't bring anything back with
you i'm like no i'm gonna bring the fucking thing back with of course not and so and so the next
week i um i was gone on a weedcation with uh with chiz i went on two weedcations with Chiz during that interim between the charges.
We went to Denver one time and to Washington State one time to,
I don't know, somewhere in Washington.
Weedcations get rarer and rarer.
Yeah.
So many people don't have a reason to go,
and then even if you're in a state where you can't get legal weed,
it's like, oh, you can get Delta get delta 8 and hhd which is the same
thing would you say was getting rare i miss the word like these like weed came like people used
to be like oh we're all gonna go to colorado and like get high and it'll be so novel and now it's
like whatever like yeah we wouldn't become so normal we would make a thing of it every year
we would we would rent a cabin or a place. We went down to Telluride one year.
It was fantastic.
Had a blast there.
But there's no reason to really do it now.
I mean...
Unless you're skiing.
You'd have fun getting high as shit and then being on the mountain.
Kyle hates skiing.
But there might be something else he likes.
He'd like it.
No.
His ankles aren't built for it.
But snowmobiles exist.
Sleds exist.
Tubes. I would love to do... Snow it. But snowmobiles exist. Sleds exist. I would love to do fast snowmobiles.
I want to rent a snowmobile
and say goodbye to the snowmobile rental man
and leave with his snowmobile.
And buy all the insurance.
That's not how you did it in Vermont?
Oh my fucking God, no.
You were so lucky you weren't there.
That was a guided tour like i missed out oh
it was horse shit we told you at the time i remember you feeling bad you didn't get the
snowmobile and i was like dude they wouldn't they kept us at this stupid fucking pace it was like
being led on one of those horse tours in the in the southwest like a donkey tour of the grand canyon
except it was dark and snowy so there's nothing to see. I would wait. I would stay in the back and let the group get almost out of sight,
their taillights, and then I'd gun it down the hill
and finally get to enjoy what this thing could do
because they were – I don't know anything about snowmobiles.
That's the first and only snowmobile I've ever been on,
but it felt like a hot rod to me.
It felt really fast.
But, yeah, maybe two or three times like that,
I got to gun it from the back and see
what the thing would do and hear it growl.
The rest of the time, it was a putt-putt tour. It was bullshit.
I was mad.
It was expensive.
Yes.
Snowmobiling sounds fun. It looks
fun. People who are good at it
make them look light
even though they're clearly not.
It could be part of a it could just and snowmobiling could snowmobiling could be part of a greater adventure you know it could just be
the way to get there to the cool thing you know if you wanted to i don't know do some sort of
hunting camping fishing just going to see a view on a mountain type thing you know it's not i'm
just i didn't think it i like my creature comfort so much man i really do um it's not. I'm just, I didn't think it was. I like my creature comfort so much, man. I really do. It's one
of those things. It's like manual labor. Can I do it?
Yeah. Do I want to? No, not at all.
I'm not a fan of it.
I love being
around all my little gadgets and toys
and fucking conveniences.
I
moved yesterday and everything's not
settled yet. So it's like, fuck, where's my
pocket knife? so you're
in your new place right now yeah yeah how do you like it i i i like it a lot um there's uh there's
no carpet here i had carpet in the in the last one in a couple of the rooms um did not like that
and i've got a better backyard here for sure i I think carpet's better. I don't know. Really?
New carpet, I think, is the ultimate flooring.
If you've ever bought a new carpet,
you almost lay on it.
The pad is so squishy.
The carpet's so clean.
It smells nice.
It's so uniform in color and everything.
It's the greatest.
I have always kept my carpets too long you know
we have pets so you know the carpets are soiled here and there they ruin it and um you may even
clean the carpet if you try hard but the pad underneath it like you just pretend it's not
pea-filled but it is um so i'm bad i keep carpet too long but new carpet is fantastic and the whole
world agrees hardwood's better, and I don't get
it. It's noisier.
You have to do that thing where you sweep off
the bottom of your feet sometimes.
Do you have a little bot?
A little Kleene robot? Yeah, we
have a couple of them, but it's really
big. We have a lot
of square feet. I don't know how big my house is.
I think it's less than 7,000 square feet, but
not far. It's still enormous. It's a lot for a little vacuum you need a lot of those what are they i
think i have a shark and we have a bob and a rumba if i recall yeah i i don't know the tiers of those
things but the shark does a pretty pretty decent job of getting like dog hair is a problem and and
just just keeping that out i can handle the dusting
for the most part but um but no i really do like it here um i have uh a lot better grocery store
in this area um oh you didn't see the video on whatsapp no oh yeah i sent some videos of the
backyard and the uh and the gym and stuff i've got this uh it's in a sunroom it's in a sunroom
and the windows are tinted in the sunroom.
It faces the yard.
It's got its own air conditioner already installed there.
It's one of those
wall unit air conditioners.
Is it bigger? Sunrooms are often really...
Everything's in there.
I haven't assembled
everything yet. I need to see how it's going to
look put together. There may be
an instance where I decide to demote because that big yellow thing yet to dump a piece of machinery
like like maybe or so my elliptical could doesn't need to be in there all the time because i only
do cardio when i'm cutting really so the elliptical could probably be wheeled out of there and in that
case yeah it's enough room my jump roping has become at least it's not embarrassing anymore
i can i look like someone who knows how to jump a rope now i'm still working at it you can fit
in with little black girls almost there's this really hot chick that does youtube shorts i think
her name's laura jumps or something i watch her all the time and i'm like man i gotta keep practicing
so i can dump jump like a hot chick you know and
she's doing like the running man and stuff while she jumps rope laura jumps i'm pretty sure is
yeah i'm watching a video of hers right now she is yeah she's beautiful um and uh and very fit
and skinny and uh i'm just skipping through this she's like i don't know showing you her life and
adventure like i care get back in the gym and lift. Yep, there we go.
On the leg press machine. Yeah, she's like
blonde hair, blue eyes, fucking
110 pounds
of hotness.
My actual opinion of her is
outside, she's a 10.
But if you watch her
try to get her routines, she seems
a little
dissatisfied and grumpy and privileged and
i don't know she comes off does that turn you on though like the snottyness like she
looks down her nose at you a little the opposite no it makes me think
but anyway she does inspire me to jump rope and i i want to jump rope like a hot chick
do you know about the subreddit true rate me oh dude i i got banned from true rate me for giving
fitness advice to a fatty oh rate me oh true rate me true rate me right there was a woman
and dude she was like it took me a second i was like jesus you guys are in
a dark place oh i thought you're joking 240 pounds and she asked like to be rated or something like
that and true rate me is the worst because everybody no you know what i'm mixing it up
with normal nudes or something. But there are websites where
people ask to be rated or show their body
or whatever. And I thought
I gave a really positive
like, hey, these
are the high-level clues on how to get
that body fat and check and whatever.
It turns out,
and I even laid it a little
dirty. I was like, you could be
eight months from now, you could be eight months from now.
You could be a total fuckable,
whatever.
And she's like,
this really hurt my feelings.
I'm typing this to you through tears.
Would you say that you're implying that I'm not totally fuckable right now?
And I wanted to reply and be like,
you're totally delusional right now.
You're fat as fuck.
But I didn't say all that.
I just got banned from the subreddit
no that's based that's what are you just traipsing into like support reddits and being like
hey fatty oh i'm going and they're all like you're banned and you're like oh i'm sorry
hello this is america it like, you need chronometer.
Start counting your calories.
That's literally the kind of thing I would do if I posted on Reddit is like, fuck with people on True Rate Me.
So I doubt you got kicked off.
This is True Rate Me.
On True Rate Me, they have a rating system that is clearly laid out here and ladies come on
there and want to get rated and they get hit with fives and sixes way but almost all the time almost
in a little like it's yeah zach zoom in a lot and go down one more i think i'm seeing seven i i mean
yeah this is this is obviously
a troll right like no it's absolutely not it's it's math look at the math emily radich gowski
up there is a 7.5 you're you're insane right go down look at a six all these girls there has to
be an eight nine and ten taylor but look at the fives look at these average women these are not
those are not average women those are way more
attractive and it's they are the top 30%
of women look at how average is defined
if it's
this if this is how average is defined
it's a bad system because
these are Taylor
I'm glad Kyle brought this up because I'm very
familiar with this subreddit I've spent hours
go to the fours go to the fours and tell me you don't agree.
Look at the fours.
Look at the first four in particular, that Asian chick.
I would give her.
Those are all fours.
So she's not super pretty.
You can see why she's not a 10 or whatever.
But to me, she's a seven on like a real rating scale.
And if you get honest and admit what proportion of our society is like 200 pound
heifers then she's like a eight and a half but that's not how the scale works scroll down to a
one let's let's hang out at rachel dratch because she has long been one of the one of the most
ghoulish women on late night television what an unfortunate person but let me tell you
being that ugly made her one of the funniest women I've ever seen.
She is top ten funniest women ever.
Dude, this is fucking mean to these poor unknown women.
Get on down there.
Show me those ones.
Show me those ones.
Bottom point, one, three, four.
One out of every seven.
When you get to a one, what you're really talking about is a rarity.
Because you've narrowed it down to one out of 20 if there were 20 000 people in a field and you had a contest to find the
ugliest that's what i wanted is that a dude the black guy 1.5 is that a man no that's a woman i
see what you're saying the thing is you would think like a two would be amongst the bottom
20 but instead they bell curve it so that ones are really really really rare and tens are really
really really rare yeah i've never seen a 10 and i've never seen a one i've seen a one i've seen
burn victims and i've seen people that i would call tens i yeah i've told this story before i remember
when we went to unc and we were doing what happened like you just got pinched her face
we were doing a campus tour and um they were showing the gym that like went to this dorm or
whatever it was and there's a girl there on an elliptical machine who is
perfection she's perfection and she's wearing like those short uh like shorts that a girl
might wear at the gym who's mega hot and a sports bra and i'm like are we all just fucking
pretending there isn't the fucking goddess of fuck on this elliptical machine right here while we're like
oh this is the bench press and uh here's an aerodyne it was baffling to me no one else
seemed to notice god tear basically no one meets this no examples because the level is unattainable
i love that part then shift everything up 0.5 nope nope make an accurate scale we don't stop
look is that what temperature does?
It just keeps on going, Taylor.
There are 11s and 12s. The page just cut off.
The page just cut off.
So 10 doesn't exist, but hypothetically there could be.
There's whole theorems in physics for how hot a woman could be.
They're like,
we think that
90% of the dark matter in the universe is actually hot.
I like this scale because
one of the things that I love is when those crazy women on the internet rate themselves as 10s.
I think everyone's a 10.
That's about how you feel.
They're just as crazy and deluded as their guests.
Everybody's okay and everything's good.
Is there a guy's version of that sheet?
Yeah, there is.
You want it?
Pull that up.
Yeah, let me get it.
Because I was on board
for the other one i'm with kyle a little bit there are a lot of girls who are insulted if
you don't call them tens and there are a lot of guys if you call them eights they're like
that's what i was hoping for like thank you for your kindness yeah or like seven like that's a c
right that's that's you're saying i'm better than 70 percent of people that's
anything above five is like a winning rating where it's like you're you're winning over most people
dude there's a guy in the six and a half who i think is particularly attractive i sound kind of
we've got it on the screen here if you if you okay um so chris hemsworth isn't even in the top two rows that doesn't
realistic where's the other where's the 0.03 you see how the the scale works eight and a half is
one out of three thousand where's the witcher where's the witcher man he should be in the top
he'll be like a five you know that's retarded i think He's better looking than anyone on the screen right now.
These are examples, not winners, Taylor.
Yeah, it looks like he's not there.
I'm sure he's in there somewhere.
I mean, not literally on the list.
Real handsome fellow, though.
Look at poor Ed Sheeran squeezed into this mess.
Little Wayne is overrated on this.
Yeah, Little Wayne's a rough looking fellow
um wanderlei silva that checks out damn flava flav might be outperforming being
oh i love the big ed the guy with a no neck from uh is it 90 day fiance or something
yeah who the hell is Welvin the Great?
He's awesome.
Welvin the Great.
Oh, my God.
Look at the brow.
Look at that brow.
I feel like it went from regular looking to unbelievably ugly so quickly.
Scroll back up a bit.
Oh, my God.
There's a wolfman at the bottom.
Let me see the wolfman.
I missed it.
There's a ghoul.
Look at that. So that's just like a werewolf from from skyrim his guys his teeth for all mankind just saying that asian guy in unknown with that big mushroom haircut that's very funny
but anyway i don't like this scale i don't like the logarithmic scale.
It's almost meant to hurt feelings.
But it's interesting to see these hot girls come in here and get six and a halfs.
Well, and the whole subreddit seems like an exercise in futility.
Yeah, I don't do well on this scale.
I don't like it.
Because the moderators, they're in there waiting for you to rate someone.
And if you rate too highly or too low, you get a warning.
And you don't get many warnings before you get banned from the subreddit.
Do the mods have to post pictures of themselves to be mods?
They do not.
Pussies.
Pussies.
Taylor's right.
But yeah, Kyle's right.
It should be their flair.
It should be their flair.
A picture of their body.
If you give a pretty girl an eight like you normally would,
you clearly haven't read the rating
guidelines because eights are phenomenal women wait the mods literally like do they take it
they come in and they say warning for for overly too high rate like okay you'll have a girl and
they'll say oh my fucking loser no no stick me. They're both losers because the commenter will be like, oh my God, goddess, I would treat you so well.
Nine, 10 out of 10 out of 10.
And then they'll come in like, warning one for overrating.
She's a seven at best or something like that.
You'll see everybody will be 5.5, five.
And somebody will say four and they'll be like, warning, underrating.
Clearly she's not a four.
Kyle, you might like this sub.
That's how you get organic good ratings ugly brutally honest what's it called am i ugly brutally
honest uh i've seen am i ugly i don't i didn't know there was a video is is for selfies who's
why would you do oh is people are posting other people's selfies there to be mean they're not i
think you have to like hold a card up and have your arm in it which makes it a little difficult
to shop but a lot of times it's really hot girls just getting verification that they're hot but
there are a bunch where you're like you know like now that i look you're ugly you know and it it's
interesting to see.
I don't rate them if they look young.
If someone's 19 or something,
even if she's ugly, I say nothing.
Yeah, that's probably for the best.
Am I ugly?
31 with kiddos.
Does she have heterochromia
or whatever with the eyes?
No, she doesn't.
They're beautifully green, though.
They're a really nice color. No, she's not ugly i think she's um cute okay well little little
someone shows her big lettuce those are some nice big tits and that that adds to it see that
interesting there's just different bullseyes? I see her waist as being too big. But someone else who values boobs more might like that.
She is not ugly.
No, ugly is not the right word.
Oh, and she's had two kids as well.
I want to see some more.
Yeah, I like these.
Oh, hello.
Really?
Am I ugly?
I don't know.
I get a lot of mixed reviews from people.
I feel like being ginger makes me ugly to some people.
Those people are fucking stupid.
There's not enough representation for gingers.
It's all getting removed. We need ginger
representation. We need more ginger women in all
media. Look, this chick's got
too much forehead, but that's
like, I don't mind that even a little.
She's got great hair.
She's very pretty.
And from what we saw, her body
is really nice, and she's into athletic stuff
like maybe dance or something like that.
So that's crazy.
Really cute chick.
Go a little farther.
All these girls have nice eyes.
Look at this chick's eyes.
Go a little farther.
Find one that's a little ugly.
Is it mostly women?
Here, go to green hair.
Let's see a few more of her pictures.
I think it's mostly women, yeah.
Green hair looks like the prettiest boy that I went to school with.
That's a compliment.
Yeah.
Paul's on number five there.
A little, right?
Yeah, yeah.
You got to smile with your eyes, too.
Yeah, you got to smile with your eyes.
And you've also got a mouth like Joker.
So I don't love that.
She's also got hair like the joker
you should do harley quinn for uh for halloween instead of whatever the fuck that is
i don't like that picture that frustrates me that's her work to be rated let us see you yeah
it's like hey do am i attractive and it's like me in a fucking the buffalo bill costume
i'm dressed up a big bird with the helmet on and everything face she's
literally left the face up cheater just skip that there's no point even looking at it that's not even
a real person here this chick's can we go down to a guy are there any guys that there are guys but
girls get all the upvotes i don't know if he's on top all time working hard on the way wait are we
supposed to judge them both or is this the same person
well it's obviously he's talking about weight loss you know what i thought it was an ugly man
and his and his ugly girlfriend who's recovering from cancer jesus christ
so you would so you would give him anything with anything with the eyes like that that
abnormality i can't be dealing with that that part of my brain that hates spiders
and snakes responds equally uh harshly he did your wonky eyes i see look me in the eye you bitch
why do i look different in pics taken of me versus selfies well it's different angles
and when you're taking a picture of yourself you're making like little micro facial movements
the same way when people look in the mirror you're making little movements that are imperceptible to like make yourself more symmetrical yeah this
guy's um like like i don't think he's ugly no but but he's a totally normal looking dude but he's
but he's chubby and uh has no self-esteem that's what you can get from these pictures that's what
that angle is about and when he's on the balcony he uncomfortable. The people posting here either have no self-esteem
or a tremendously high amount of it.
I don't think there's any middle ground.
Ugly.
Yeah, I mean, let's be real.
That's a rough look.
Does he have a racial tattoo?
Does he?
I thought my monitor was dirty.
Did you see it by his eye?
Yeah, this is the second picture.
I thought my monitor was dirty.
Yeah, by his eye.
Pictures one and three, you can see the asymmetry in his eyes.
Yeah, they're wonky.
I wonder if that's related to his biking accident.
I bet.
Yikes.
Anyway, am I brutally honest?
It's interesting.
That last kid was halfway to Coonies.
I do not understand the fucking impulse to to do that
to like post a picture of yourself with a selfie and be like they don't know tell me i'm not ugly
and then people will be like well you are kind of ugly and then it's like oh no like what what
what they want is someone to say you know what what? Yeah, you're kind of rough looking.
But I bet if you did this and that, you could work off your strengths,
like your eyes and your teeth.
Those are both good.
Work on the rest of your, you know, the skin part of your face.
The skin part.
The very essential part of your face.
You've got great hair, eyes, and teeth.
Wait.
Man, you've got, from what great hair eyes and teeth wait man you got all your teeth like you've got everyone like eyes though like like all those first three or four chicks seem like
they had like i don't know fucking wizard that's why they were uh the top in the last month or
whatever zach had it filtered for so it was all like oh the pretty girls with beautiful eyes are all top notch like none of i doubt any of those girls at the top posted and were like oh man i hope i'm
nervous like no of course not they were like man i could use a little validation right now
yeah sure i don't mind that that's that's okay i don't care but uh there's a there's a subreddit
called um oh what's it's like the anti-only fans subreddit. It's where the girls who don't
have an only fans...
Because most people
just want to see girls who actually want to show their
pussy for no fucking reason other than
showing off their pussy. That's
kind of hot, right? It's like, oh, she's just fucking
dirty. But then you got some chick
who's bringing down seven figures
and you're like, I think she'd show it no matter
how she was feeling. I'm pretty sure
she would. She might.
Don't say that.
Don't say that.
Keep it under wraps. Don't know what it was.
But yeah,
I get that. I love the diversity
of subreddits over there.
You can get just any flavor pie
you want. Like anything
you want.
How are you finding all of these weird subreddits i google and then i ask questions and then i add the word
reddit and uh and and that leads me to a lot sometimes i'll just read down i found one the
other day it's it's dudes who didn't who only piss and sinks so it's like a meme no these guys
have a whole it's it's they are pink they are sink pissers i
can't remember the name of the subreddit but it's something like that it's like sinkers maybe and
and the in the wiki or the fact on the side whatever they have this whole chart showing
how much water you save per year like like they they look at it as a conservation because you're
not flushing the toilet anymore you're just splashing piss all over the place you brush your teeth or wash your hands.
Now you're just quickly going, they're giving a little rinse.
Urine's sterile.
You know that.
We've been over this many times.
Woody tried to argue that it wasn't.
I proved with him with science and lies that it was.
And he backed down.
This is absolutely not sterile.
This is sterile.
Urine is sterile.
You know what's not sterile?
The tip of your penis.
So you wash your dick, and then you pee,
and that urine is just perfectly fine to guzzle down.
And you know how many times you can drink it before it becomes toxic, Taylor?
Yes.
Twice.
Three fucking times, Taylor.
So next time you're in the desert, drink up, my friend,
because it is sterile and good for you.
I'll just die.
What do you think this is?
You think I just have a Coke Zero?
I'm drinking Coke Zero tonight like a fucking idiot because I went to the grocery store and they were literally out of Diet Pepsis and Pepsi Zero.
Pepsi Zero is a strong soda.
The finest soda I think I've ever had, cola is the uh real sugar pepsi though
that's a really tasty soda pepsi's just better than coke when i think about better than coke
the thing i like about coke is memories of things i did surrounding their brand
and i think about how their brand is about georgia and at Peach State. It's all nostalgic fucking sales craft bullshit programmed into me to love this red fucking can.
This red can means holidays, family, traditionalism, and love.
That's what this red can means to me.
And Pepsi is that gay soda that's always got rappers and dirty whores on it.
Meanwhile, Pepsi tastes way better it is better like it's i think that's part of growing up is
realizing that diet pepsi has been better than diet dr pepper and diet coke the whole time
we were a diet pepsi household but but coca-cola like like a regular soda it always definitely
always drank coca-cola and yeah that's pretty shitty of you
to not rep coke in all ways living in georgia i've been to the museum twice uh it's uh it's
it's interesting though i haven't gotten a bud light product in a long time and that's our we
were trained here to like that blue can and then they uh yeah and then now every dude it's insane
every fucking grocery store here has quadrupled the
amount of miller and coors they have sitting out like i was walking in the in a grocery store today
by picking stuff out and i was passing to get to the bread and whatnot and there's this giant
giant display of miller light there are never miller light displays in Bush country. Like never, ever.
I don't think I've ever seen one.
And they're just there now.
I heard on the radio yesterday, I had to drive back.
So I hired a huge moving truck, a bunch of guys,
but they couldn't get it all.
And they had another client booked.
It's $300 more to like do another trip.
And I'm like, fuck yeah, that ain't bad.
They got other clients.
They're gone.
So I had to drive back and forth. Like a 30 minute drive four times. another trip and i'm like fuck yeah that ain't bad they got other clients they're gone so i had
to drive back and forth like a 30 minute drive four times all today yesterday my it was awful
at night after working all day all sweaty and just oh you're done oh i'm done now i gotta unpack
boxes but what i was gonna say is i heard and I listened to the radio all that time. I heard an Anheuser-Busch commercial, which I'd never heard such a thing before.
They're going straight to the top.
Oh, this is it.
We're Anheuser-Busch.
Wait, what do you make?
Don't worry about it for a second.
Listen up.
And the commercial was the entire assembly line or sort of product line of people who make their beer happen and it
started at the i caught the commercial like 10 seconds into it so i didn't know i don't know
where it started but the guy was like i'm emilio and i i i brew the beer and the guy was like my
name's john and i'm a hot man and my name's Bill and I make sure the water is pure and every step,
you know, all the ingredients of a beer and every individual who's a professional who counts on beer
sales to make sure that their job is secured. All these Americans, these women, men, and there was
a Spanish guy in there too. He drove the forklift. I can't even make it up. The only voice that
wasn't white, black, or a woman, and you could definitely tell every step of the way,
was Julio or Emilio who drove the forklift.
And he was like, I drive a forklift with the beer.
Very carefully.
Very carefully.
They will beat me if I do not.
But at the end, we're Anheuser-Busch.
We make beer.
That's what we're about.
It said that. And I was like, no,. That's what we're about. It said that.
And I was like, no, it's not what you were about a couple months ago.
You were about all sorts of stuff.
You had big ideas about what people should be thinking and doing.
What are you talking about?
Let's have a beer and talk about it.
Now you've made it so that if you are walking around with a Bud Light in the Midwest, you'll get bullied.
walking around with a Bud Light in the Midwest,
you'll get bullied.
Literally, it's become a meme.
You were so right early on with your prediction
there that it was going to be so much
more devastating for them than
I thought.
I thought they would rebound much more.
They're a joke. You're a total joke brand.
You remember what it was like growing up?
The kid who had the off-brand shit.
Who didn't have an excuse to. I'm not talking about picking on poor kids. joke brand you remember what it was like growing up the kid who had the off-brand shit like who
didn't have an excuse to i'm not talking about picking on poor kids i'm talking about like
michael picked that that yeah you know like why would he do that like you would get bullied for
picking some off-brand shit and that's what bud light is now it's that it is the gay beer it is
and that's the nice way to put it. I guarantee people are getting bullied
everywhere. There's a little joke
made. It's not even really bullying.
It's that someone orders a Bud Light at a bar
and someone goes, get a little gay beer.
They both joke about it.
Nobody's mad, but everybody knows.
Somebody over the shoulder goes, I don't want
that gay beer.
I don't want to get bullied for the gay beer.
Not your joke. Let it slide. Maybe next time, he's like, well, I don't want to get bullied for the game let it slide but then maybe next time he's like
well i don't want to go through that yeah yeah and it's like a very easy i think at this point
it's permanent like they've they're uh they're very much a joke brand at least the bud light
banner itself bud light is a joke meme brand now where like it's funny to see someone the reason
someone would show up at a party with a 12-pack of Bud Light would be a joke.
That would be the joke at this point.
It would be ironic.
Yeah, they do that ironically.
And it's a very easy product to switch to because unlike something that's wildly unique,
they go, hey, you want to drink Miller or Coors?
It's the exact same thing.
Miller actually has less calories, and it's the exact same thing miller actually has less calories and it's the exact same thing the people who make that switch there's no reason to
go back it's the same product there'll be a small spike in sales around halloween because bud light
will be part of a great costume this year the dylan mulvaney costume you'll need your six pack
of bud light to carry around with you when you when you cross dress for halloween this year i
have no expertise probably that will be like what this year. I have no expertise in this.
I do like what you're saying. I have no expertise,
but I just feel like
it'll pass. It usually
does.
This one strikes at a group of people.
It depends who you upset, right?
If you make moms mad,
forget about that shit. Just keep your
prices right. They've got kids to feed.
You're making conservative dudes with spending money who who weren't drinking it because of its taste to begin with.
It's a cultural thing. You know, it really was Bud Light's kind of a working man's beer.
And these are working men drinking it because it's their beer.
And they said, no, we're not your beer. We're the transsexual, silly
fellow in the park dancing around
and giggling with a
moose knuckle beer. That's who we are.
We're proud as fuck of it.
Until you guys, what, you don't like it?
Okay, we back off, we back off. And then you see they don't have
any principles. Their whole stance
was just about money. And so then
the left side starts saying, well, that's fucking disgusting.
We were never going to drink your beer anyway, big silly goats so now they're stuck um yeah i don't
know remember my prediction is based on nike and back colin kaepernick and they let it slide uh
keurig did something and the conservatives were throwing their fucking coffee makers off the
balconies on oh no this is so much bigger like this is this is bigger than any of those things rolled up
aggregated like it'd be like if carhartt did something or john deere did something or red
man chewing tobacco like if one of those products was like we're here we're queer we're coming for
your kids they're dunzo i nobody's nowhere, let me disagree because I have a counterpoint.
The things you mentioned,
card heart,
John Deere.
I don't know what else you said,
but they get by on the quality of their product,
you know,
red wing boots.
And if they say,
Hey,
with the official boot of trannies,
then someone who needs good boots might not switch,
but Bud Light, from what Taylor tells me is not getting by on the quality of its product.
It was always branding.
So then when they ruin the branding, people have an easy time leaving.
It's more that way, but also Kyle's right.
Wranglers, just in boots and a card-hard jacket is a costume that rednecks wear to show their conservatism their
traditionalism their patriotism their hard-working blue collar redneck that is the costume you wear
the same way that some other people would wear nikes and and some other things that they might
wear they'll never need to go down that road but i have a card heart coat i have colindus too a
couple they're fantastic.
The line that they pitched,
other people can make them brown, but only we can make them Carhartt.
I'm like, yeah, you're right.
I'm super thrilled with that coat.
You're not their target demo, though.
You're a Yankee.
You're just looking for the best jacket you can find.
I'm telling you.
For when I do work.
Especially with Carhartt kyle's
100 right there's a culture around it if they came out and did a bud light thing they would
take a fucking smoking like they would everyone switch to dickies they would they would switch to
whatever the closest alternative is and because like at the end of the day there are there are
plenty of durable outdoor clothing companies like Like they would, they would switch to something else. And immediately fucking daily wire would do some grift where they'd be
like time for ultimate summit sportswear for Americans with flags on it.
With a card heart looking jacket,
my new pilgrim pants jacket.
It's $600 and it'll arrive in 12 to 14 months.
Maybe finish building and making a manufacturer.
John Deere is the other one.
He said,
I think John Deere gets by on the quality of their products.
And it's not just a brand.
They have a dealer network and a quality of product and a,
there aren't any holes in what you can,
you can run a whole farm,
any farm.
I don't care if you have chickens,
wheat, corn corn or potatoes john deere will will give you everything you need from top to bottom to be a
farmer i'm just talking about those things that are cultural products and and those are one those
are cultural products the the john deere thing is kind of unique because they did the whole thing
with their dealer network and they squished Ford out of Ford.
There are no Ford dealerships.
It's all John Deere everywhere.
John Deere is uniquely pretty secure.
And even when those dealerships were losing money, they're like, no, no, no, you're staying fucking open.
We're John Deere.
We're everywhere.
Yeah, we need to maintain our total market share of what we do, even if it's a loss for a bit, which is important.
I don't know where you get.
I'm sure there's Husqvarna dealers,
but I don't know where one is.
I know right where to go to John Deere.
If I need a tractor,
you mentioned new code.
Great.
Did you,
uh,
that new Coke switch was,
I think this is like common knowledge. Now it was like a total,
like a way to trick people into not noticing that they switched from sugar to corn syrup so they take coke off
the market they bring out new coke it sucks they bring classic coke back with corn syrup instead
of sugar and people go yay and that was the plan from the get-go they didn't mean to introduce a
bad coke yeah yeah they they introduced that in order to make it less obvious that you're
pivoting from sugar which is the same reason that mexican coke is so good like if they would have made that switch
instantly sugar to corn syrup you get noticed right away right away and so you've switched to
a different product that sucks intentionally run a short run of it and then switch to the
new product which saves you a shit ton of money at the old flavor that's close enough i can't buy it i was
around for the new coke introduction and the ad blitz for new coke and the excitement everyone
wanted to see it there were these coca-cola wars between coke and pepsi that i can't think of
another a versus b comparison that was the same level of just like cultural dominance you know
everyone are you a coke guy pepsi guy what are
you we went on a field trip in my school to see a pepsi bottling company you know it was like
everywhere and uh when they came out with new coke it really seemed like they were trying to
give you a better coke because it was losing the taste tests to pepsi i think it was just a smart
business move to like trick consumers and save a bunch of money. Pretty shrewd, but I think they're a very smart company.
They got a ton of free media.
I bet they're...
Did they lose money in the end?
The whole thing was this media storm.
It's before my time, and I know about it.
I know how big of a deal it was.
You get a second media storm at the end of it.
Oh, they're bringing back coca-cola
classic the favorite beverage of the planet like they're masters of marketing i'm telling you if
you ever go they're smart to it next time you're in atlanta and you want to waste 50 head over to
the coca-cola museum okay they will show you a polar bears movie that'll that'll make you wish
it was a full a full movie and not 15 minutes of not a 15 minute commercial and then they'll make you wish it was a full movie and not a 15-minute commercial.
And then they'll make you stand in line to walk into the vault
where the recipe is kept in a box.
You will see no recipe, of course.
You will just stand in line to look at a safe deposit box,
which is most assuredly empty.
Then you'll be led to a back room at some point
with concrete sticky floors
where you'll meander past many 360 degree
pedestals that dispense
sodas from around the planet
that for whatever reason
for whatever reason the most
powerful fucking economic
force in existence
we don't have it here they can
only get it in Guatemala
it's the good stuff though trust me
and you get to try like cinnamon
fucking coke and and like all these ridiculous derivations and at first you think it's cool and
then you realize a lot of these kiosks are the exact same 18 mystical flavors like it's just
set up that way so everybody can have one and then you actually see some glass bottles being made
it's a fucking like fucking nonsense you see some machines make a few glass bottles and then you actually see some glass bottles being made it's a fucking like fucking nonsense
you see some machines make a few glass bottles and then they i don't think they give you one
for free they might though they might actually sell you a coke at the end of the fucking factory
tour in the world is have you been on the hershey park factory tour no making it there is a ride you can take where you experience the journey of like an m&m or
whatever hershey's bar along next to one so like as the it seems like they're really making hershey's
bars over there and i was young but i i still think they are genuinely this is a real factory
that produces hershey bars and then you're in this like cart i don't know like big hershey's
kiss or something and as you go past the heater like fuck did they really turn up to 110 for this
part okay and then they cool the chocolate off and you're freezing in there they give you the
whole tour and there's people in um i guess they're called bunny suits you know like the hijab
you know suits that cover your hair and everything and And Hershey's tour is pretty legit. I enjoyed
it. And I had a similar tour that Kyle
talked about, but with Pepsi. And it was
so effective that like
42 years later,
I am still a little bit loyal to Pepsi,
which was their goal.
It's made in Jersey, right?
I'm asking you. I don't know where it's produced.
The tour was, I don't know if their like headquarters
are or anything. I used to know because i watch all that shit on youtube like the behind the
brands and like the the food that made america and all that stuff so uh i watched one on spam
the other day i was fascinated i loved it the whole thing about uh um that the hawaiians uh
eating the spam does it stand for salt preserves all meat?
They don't know what it stands for.
They, they,
they broke down.
I thought it was like a joke about ham.
It it's they had two or three ideas for what it might stand for.
If I remember correctly in the documentary that I watched,
but I think they were,
it was big for world war two.
Obviously they sent millions of cans over, and they were afraid that
because those guys have been eating it every day,
like, fuck, they'll never buy a can of Spam again.
But it was the opposite.
They got home, and they were like,
you know what I want, honey?
You know what would make me feel comfortable?
Why don't you cook us all up a can of Spam?
And then the sales went up.
I've never had Spam.
It has a very distinctive flavor.
If you ever want to taste it, just for the hell of tasting it,
make sure you get the low-sodium version
because one can of Spam has like a week's sodium supply in it.
Even the low-sodium,
that one can far exceeds your daily sodium.
Oh, yeah.
It's crazy amounts.
It's like it's preserved meat paste.
It's salted ham.
It's like an emulsified and reformed salted ham paste in a
can that will last until your grandchildren are long gone. I have a can because I bought it after
I watched that documentary. And then I realized I didn't get the low sodium version. And then
someone talked about how much sodium was in it. And I was like, I don't I can't even taste that.
If I take a bite of that, it's going to give me high blood pressure.
Do you guys ever watch documentaries or videos about how the food you're eating at the time is made?
It's a terrible idea.
No, I do this.
I'll eat a steak, and I'll watch a YouTube video of how a cow is butchered.
The guy is in there.
He's showing all the cuts.
I was eating Cheez-Its all the the cuts or i i was
eating uh cheese it's of course or maybe it was goldfish and then i found out how it's made of
that it was like cheese nips some off-brand thing and i'm just like like damn this is kind of neat
i was on like i'm eating saltines i'm on the wikipedia page for for saltines watching us how
it's made soda crackers i don't know i guess this is less common than i thought it was no my viewing like what i'm watching will often influence what i end up eating
i watched a um family guy the other day and it they it's the one where they sing um have you
ever put butter on a pop tart it's so friggin good you remember this yeah yeah i know that one
and i was like no i've never put butter on a Pop-Tart. Dude, I put butter on a Pop-Tart, and it is so frigging good.
It's outrageously good.
You put it on the back of the Pop-Tart, the non-frosted side.
It's tremendous.
I'm sure butter can't.
There are very few things that butter makes worse.
Butter is an S-tier foodstuff.
Face wash.
Face wash?
It makes face wash worse.
I think he's got you there, Taylor.
I saw
a CC camera video.
Alright, you win
this round.
I saw
a CC camera
video the other day from a movie theater or something
and this Asian lady goes over to the butter dispenser
with the popcorn thing and goes,
rubs it in her hands
and then rubs it all over her face.
Wow.
I wanted to make sure nobody sat next to me
at the movie.
She needed more pimples.
I'm going to have my own whole section
for Endgame.
Maybe she thought it was hand sanitizer
and she really wanted to get clean.
She likes that feeling Woody likes when you rub alcohol on your skin.
How soon after you rub movie theater butter on your face are you like, hmm, I have to go home.
I need to rinse this off.
Go in the bathroom and just hit that thing and then try and splash water from the six tiny streams that come down into the bottom of the sink before it unsets itself.
the six tiny streams that come down into the bottom of the sink before it unsets itself.
That is one of the worst things about modern society is that people can't be
trusted to just have a normal turn for your faucet.
How far have we sunk that at gas stations and places you have to wash your
hands with a push because there are people out there who can't be bothered to
turn off the faucet.
And we all have to live in this world.
It's the cart return conundrum.
You know what? I would rather have the push that you
described. You return your cart?
Always. The sensor that
you wave around and do a little
jig. Maybe
running man. Try to get it to work.
Just me.
It could be.
Kyle, you have to return
that cart. Yeah, you're taking food right out of that cart man's mouth when you return that cart,
you're taking food right out of that cart man's mouth when you do that.
You know what happens?
You know what would happen if everyone returned their carts
like good guy Taylor?
The cart man would be out of a job.
Okay, you know what I do with my cart?
His job is to bring the carts from outside
back into their fucking store, dumbass.
Not to collect it from around him.
And the harder that job is, the more laborious,
the more difficult and time-consuming it is,
the more hours the man gets, the more money he makes.
That's the same reason some of them are all trip waiters
because they're bringing food to the table.
I'm a job creator.
He takes his Home Depot carts and brings them to Lowe's
and vice versa.
Sometimes Kyle doesn't even need to go shopping.
He just goes there and he pushes them around.
I go and I push all the carts up into the grass
and toss them in the woods down below.
And look, he's out there for hours.
I see him.
I sit across the street at the other store
and I watch him through binoculars while he works.
We learned, verifiably, that Kyle and I are both smug bitch assholes.
And one thing I am a smug bitch about is I am smug about returning carts.
I always return my cart
when I see somebody do that
leaning it up on the island.
I fucking hate that. I hate that.
Is there any excuse for that? What if it's pouring rain?
Just walk and return it.
I asked you a question.
There's no excuse. Just do it.
There is no torrential downpour that will dissuade you
from returning that cart.
Even though you know it might go away later
and a cart man might be able to return it in the
sunny... Really?
What if it's not going to? What I didn't tell you is that I park
always in the handicap space.
And so...
Which is right next
to the cart return, and that's...
They call that beating
karma. They call that a net
neutral on karma.
I take it a step further
i park in the cart return just to fuck with people like taylor i park directly in front of the car
and i'm like oh i'm sorry is this uh mentally handicapped guy trying to get by i'm boxing
him out oh you you're gonna have to want it you gotta want these carts you're i'm a job creator
show me i return them but i'll admit there have been times when like it was raining and i propped that shit up somewhere i was just like i'm not i'm not
getting soaked over over whatever like i ran out of there i've definitely left it before but it's
not attractive one thing i will do is i'll like ghost ride it into the return and if it doesn't
like go into the next card or whatever, I just call it good.
I'll be honest, I try to hit it from as far away as possible.
Do you ever like
sometimes there's like five of them that aren't quite
lined up in there already. You ever try and
you just throw it in there so hard you're like,
I'm going to try and re-rack as many
as I can into there. But then that gate
pops out at the end and you just shove 15
shopping carts down a hill. You've got it now they're fucking taking my card trick all right kyle
yes sir kevin costner is no longer under contract for yellowstone i don't know the details of this
it's something to do with established actors pay for play but he's getting divorced so all this stuff came out he's like look my 2023 income is going to be way
lower than 2022 because i'm no longer on a contract for yellowstone if you're taylor
sheridan and you hate kevin costner how do you end the second half of season five of yellowstone
does does he run away with a game I have him
they offer him some sort of deal where
he can sell out basically
and cut the kids out
and put them in a real bad we'll give you
this much money and
you know
but the kids don't get it if he did that
he sold the kids out somehow and
like ran away with the money but then died
doing it give all the
money to um who's the chick sunny the i'm not caught up i haven't watched in like a year there's
oh well he's partnered up with this californian vegetarian like cool uh hippie chick and you're
supposed to hate her um so he could give all the property to her.
Yeah, that's a shame.
Honestly, I like Kevin Costner.
I've seen a lot of his interviews.
He does a lot of conservation work and he's big into that Western shit. I see him talking about Yosemite and the wolves and the wildlife out there a lot.
And he owns a significant amount of property that's just beautiful.
So they always interview him at his place and his cool cabin on his like ranch his wife wouldn't move out the court sided with kevin and said
she had to fucking go apparently her um it's like her prenup that she signed is garbage um
now they've been married 20 years which is a long time but also isn't kevin costner like 68 he was already
a huge hollywood star so it's not like they built this together it's not that story it's not like
were his kids even young or did they have like adult kids and she just walk into a luxurious
life that's what i think happened so i sometimes have some sympathy for women who like get married at 20 and
divorced at 30.
And now they're like unemployable.
All they've ever done is support this husband and there's no more jobs for
that.
So I'm sympathetic to that position,
but that's not hers.
She got fucked.
She's getting like a hundred thousand dollars or something.
She's also getting like $240,000 child care what okay how many kids i don't know
what 10 000
in charge of every kid in but yeah well it's not settled yet but yeah she's going for like a quarter
million a month in child care and she's getting like a million in alimony because of the prenup yeah that's we'll see well yeah i i stand with kevin that's all i'm saying
well he's a better actor i don't know i didn't know she was an actor she's not my grandma always
my grandma always liked kevin costner so uh i would sit with her and watch those movies like
the postman and Waterworld.
Both underrated.
I think she thought he was handsome.
That's my guess. I know she loved Arnold.
She'd say, oh, that Arnold.
Schwarzenegger? Yeah, she loved
Arnold Schwarzenegger movies. It's my opinion
that he's too muscly
for a lot of women's preferences.
I think he's very handsome, though, especially
when he was younger. You think?
Yeah.
The gap between his teeth took it away from me.
The gap is a bit, and it would for me.
Michael Strahan had that.
Did he get it fixed?
Yeah, I don't know.
Whenever I see, there's a Jewish actress who has that as well.
Whenever I see that, I'm like, ooh, you're losing multiple points
when you sport one of those. You need to get that because I'm like, ooh, you're losing like multiple points when you when you sport one of those.
You need to get that because I'm always going to look at it.
I'm like, oh, God, it's so easy to fix that.
A little Invisalign, three months, you're good.
Yeah, that you just get close, especially if it's like a little gap.
Not that stray ham shit.
I see you with fucking troll mouth like that.
That'll be a while.
Probably got part of his look there.
The cool part about Invis part about it if anyone's
thinking about doing it if they tell you it takes 18 months it does but here's the trick in the
first like three to four months you're 80 there and then the last 14 months is the other 20 but
like yeah i remember i got them in like october and in my case my bottom teeth i had like a
snaggle tooth i used to get my attention too much and i'm like i got it in october and i'm looking
they give you braces like for a couple of weeks and i'm like whoa shit this is the outline of my
october teeth and this is the outline of my january 1st teeth and it's better a lot like
noticeably visibly better if i had these january 1st teeth and it's better a lot like noticeably visibly better if i had these
january 1st teeth i probably wouldn't have gotten braces like i'm good enough from october to
january so my grandpa still randomly will bring up yellowstone when like i'm down at his house
about like how stupid it is and he'll like like the things he dislikes are so funny well he'll
be like that's like my grandma will be like,
I was watching that show Yellowstone, but he hates it now.
And he'll be like, shit, I saw those fuckers walk in.
It was the cleanest barn I ever saw.
They just ran 2000 head cattle through it.
And it's cleanest barn I ever saw.
That's not what it looked like.
They're saying they're changing.
Apparently they did not move from pasture to pasture in a way that was correct.
They just moved. They got them out in the pasture and they're talking about they got to take them down. pasture in a way that was correct. They just moved.
They got them out of the pasture and they're talking about,
they got to take them down.
They're done with that pasture.
Look at the length of the fucking grass.
They just got to that pasture.
You know how they go from pasture to pasture.
They're like,
this is really dangerous.
So to minimize the risk,
we're going to race down this mountain as fast as we can.
And that way we won't be doing it.
The truth about cattle ranching is they're great downhill runners.
It's putting along at walking pace so nobody gets scared.
And the actual skillful part is catching the stragglers who get lost and stuff and getting them back.
That's the only part of the time you're driving cattle.
It's like, dude, you're back here.
The herd's a mile away.
Yeah.
And you're doing that.
The goal is not to be like,
we need to spook them all the correct amount at once
in that direction.
It's like, no, then you don't have cows anymore.
Our cows would get out all the fucking time.
All the fucking time.
And escape.
They're very intelligent.
Can they jump a fence?
So high. These big fat literal heifers can
jump over your goddamn head.
And if they crash the fence...
No, really? I'm like 6'6".
Yeah, I know. 7'6", maybe.
Depends what you're standing on.
Really.
And if they don't quite make it,'s still a 1200 pound animal so they just crush it i saw
one lose a teat jumping over a fence once she fucking here they're hard fucking core and they
also like once with the jumping thing sometimes all it takes to teach them that it's that that
fence is not scary is one of them getting over it.
And then they all instantly know, like, wait, this thing we've been worried about is nothing.
And then they'll all just start barreling through it.
Something I've never understood.
When your electric fence stops working, they find out that day, which means they are always testing the electric fence.
Or they can hear some sort of electromagnetic
hum that's imperceptible to us i'd love for a scientist to actually look into that instead of
how to turn children into monsters or something um that would be that would be look into the cows
guys like figure that out because that fence would go off make them three times as big more meat
which means somebody tests and it hurts right
it's it's fucking i don't know y'all ever been zapped by an electric fence a friend of mine uh
when we when i was like 10 years old me and my buddy alex we went down to my grandparents farm
because we like to like paintball and ride atvs and mess around on on the farm and my we were up
by an electric fence and my buddy alex like, I'm going to pee on it.
And like at like what we know now through Mythbusters is that if you pee on something, usually it's like all the droplets, like it's not a continuous stream back to you by the time it gets there.
I peed on it. Nothing happened.
Yeah. And he was going to and I told him not to.
I told him not to.
And in my head, I was like about to see like a,
I remember the thought I had was the same thought of like,
oh my God, what happened to Marv in Home Alone 2 is going to happen to Alex.
I was picturing it.
Yeah, I was picturing,
as he's holding the fucking thing.
Dude, that scared me.
And then he does a skeleton for a second.
That scared the shit out of me.
Well, see, Kevin looks at him and he's screaming in pain and convulsing from the electric
electrocution and kevin thinks oh he needs more and starts turning the amperage up on the stick
welder he's got this arc he's got a fucking stick welder hardwired into the goddamn sink
and then when he turns it up marv's screaming goes to a much higher pitch, and he turns into
a skull that you can see with hair.
Yeah, he flashes to skeleton
and back and skeleton and back, and that really
I would look away during that part.
I would get up and pretend I
had to get a snack when I was eight years old
watching that. That's Home Alone 2,
I believe. Home Alone 2, Lost in New York.
Yeah, Donald Trump
in that one, in one part. He gives Kevin directions. Good guy. I'm going to lost in New York. Yeah. Um, Donald Trump, uh, and, and that one in one part,
he,
uh,
he gives Kevin directions.
Good guy.
Good guy.
I've been shocked by a fence a lot.
Uh,
we always had electric fences.
Well,
no,
because every day I found out,
I like to play with it.
I liked getting zapped with it.
Um,
one thing you should know is if you've got shoes on with rubber soles,
which is all shoes in the existence, you won't get shocked at all.
You can just hang on to that wire, and you'll feel you're grounded slightly.
Don't tell people that, man.
No, it's true.
Rubber isn't a perfect insulator, so you'll feel like this little tap, tap, tap.
This feels a little like when I told everyone battery acid tastes good like this
is terrible first of all it does taste good so does antifreeze used to until big fucking i don't
know pussy boy came in and made everything safe but no you can hang right onto it it won't hurt
you and and uh unless you take shoes off you take your shoes off and you grab that motherfucker and
then you feel what the cattle are feeling and it feels like like a real hard punch in the body it's significant because it's
a pulse and at first you're like is it is it is it and then it hits you um the other way you could
fuck up is i would have my hand on it i'd be walking along and if you're not paying attention
your hand will also touch the metal fence post, which will also ground you.
So then you'll get shocked in your hand incredibly painfully.
What you can also do, and this is hardcore, I would show people the trick.
You got shoes on?
Doesn't hurt.
They'd be hanging on to it.
I don't have, I take my shoe off, put it on the ground, ground myself and grab them.
Now we both get the real dose.
It's great.
You can do the same thing with the spark plug on my ATV, my four-wheeler.
That thing's incredibly painful.
I don't know much about electricity, like amperages and voltages.
It's all numbers, but it hurt.
You did not have a lot to do at the time.
No.
Just making up activities and I'll go up activities and we fought wasps we fought wasps that was our
favorite game we we made them with the with the 22 no we made gadgets and weapons and bee suits
and we fought them all summer it was our favorite thing to do there's nothing to do we're on a farm
like you could fish it's too hot to fish.
The sun's beating down on you.
We're out of wasp's nests.
It's going to be a terrible summer.
When we ran out of wasp's nests,
then we had to find other shit.
I would shoot stuff
and blow stuff up.
That's all I did for fun.
I would just make little
devices and play with guns and blow things up
and experiment.
There was nothing else to do.
Everybody loved it. Whenever somebody would come over and be like,
hey, what are you going to do?
There's an old dead cow in the pasture.
You want to blow her up?
Yes! Yes, we do want to
blow up your dead cow.
Why didn't you tell us that's what we were doing today?
Is this a thing that has utility or it's just fun?
Just fun.
It's completely full of maggots.
It was really disgusting. You do it in front of the other cows.
Set the tone. If you told me
if you blow a cow into
600 pieces, it decomposes faster.
You should bury them, but this one had
died and blew her up a little
bit. We blew up a pig one time.
A whole dead pig carcass
and there was no i'm not joking here there was nothing left but the snout that's all we found
they took the snout and put it in the grill of my truck without me knowing it and i drove like
six hours in the summer with a pig snout and stuck in the grill of the truck but but when it blew up what rained down and every now
and then i recognize this in ukraine is like these ribbons of fat and flesh that are created from a
large explosion it's it's lighter it's very thin like wispy stuff that rains back down and i don't
know exactly what it is but it's it's flesh that's been exploded and now it's this thin wisp
of like a layer of fat or skin or something but we turned that thing into mist we put so much
shit in it before we blew it up i mean it was we were gonna eat saturday it was it was
we bought it from an amish man had to lie to him about what we're gonna do to it because
when at first when we told him he was really off on it.
Well,
of course he's Amish.
That's probably against their religion.
They don't.
A Mennonite.
A Mennonite.
Well,
they're more okay with blowing up pigs,
but only if it's for work.
All the Mennonites I've met have been super into guns.
Like so much so that it's kind of scary.
You get the same feeling you get when you talk to militia people.
I know you don't,
normal people don't talk to militia people, but have you ever talked to a militiaman?
How about this? You can imagine what it's like talking to a militiaman.
They see themselves as militiamen.
The Amish guys that I've talked to were all
so up on federal regulations for firearms and
suppressors and full auto and everything
interesting in the gun world. And they all owned
that shit. The same guys who
wouldn't own a tractor had an AR-15
with a silencer and a scope and a fucking
laser, you know?
That sounds fun.
You've been following the Ukraine war?
Not at all. By following It sounds fun. You've been following the Ukraine war? No.
By following,
I've been watching some cool videos.
The interesting things I've seen.
I've been watching
a bunch of the drone stuff.
I've been watching a lot of sniper footage.
Thermal sniper footage
is wild.
It makes you so afraid of the battle.
Any illusions that any of us may have ever had
about being that hero on a goddamn battlefield
are immediately wiped away
when you watch a man with a thermal scope
go to work on a group of people in the darkness
because they don't hear the gunshot.
They're so far away and it's suppressed.
So they're just getting whacked.
They hear this pop and whiz as
that bullet makes impact and fucking sergey's down and dimitri's down and fucking who's that guy what
was his name i can't tell his face is gone can't take cover because you don't know where the bullet
came from where it's coming from yeah that's i saw a guy's head explode in thermal wow the drone footage still gets me i i'm broken record on this a bit
but i used to think that if you were good at war it really raised your chances of surviving and
you know being a big important part of why you went you might be muted kyle and uh okay um but
now i see people like under the camo netting,
you know,
the kind with like the fabric mixed into it and sleeping in their trench,
like all tucked up tight,
still get killed by these drones with nades.
And I think,
fuck,
they're doing everything right.
And they still die.
War now is almost luck based it's awful
i think it's always been that way but i think now i i think that if you're good at it you do have a
higher chance but like you said there are things that can happen that are completely out of your
control and like our guest tonight will tell you you just got to put that out of your mind
just gotta pretend like that's not a thing that it's good because i watched this guy fighting the other day and i say fighting because he wasn't
just sitting in a hole shooting a gun over a log he was moving coordinating grenades were being
thrown there was covering fire but you could tell at one point he wrecked somebody else threw a
grenade short and it blew up near him and he's like cursing at them like the fuck are you doing
and he sort of rolls and repositions because we're fighting with people close in a field and like gets
away from his friendly who was clearly not
a good soldier and it's like
I think our guy's survivability is
way higher than fucking dummy
over there threw that grenade who doesn't know
where the enemy quite is it seems
true I guess it's just so many
stuff that isn't your fault more often
now with the tech you know with accurate
artillery drones stuff like that for stuff that isn't your fault more often now with the tech you know with accurate artillery
drones stuff like that i think you guys sent me the clip or maybe i just happened to see it because
i don't watch the war stuff of a bunch of guys like clustered together by like the side of a
building and then an rpg for some explosive comes in and like hits like five of the,
of the eight guys,
something like that.
And I saw a bunch of people being like,
what do you do?
Like that you're all clustered together.
Like,
that's not how war works.
This isn't call of duty.
Like,
and it's like,
I get it.
I get it.
Mr.
Twitter expert on the,
but like,
he has no idea what,
what they were doing,
what was going on.
But it was like the first time I saw they, they were like what they were doing. That was lunch!
It was the first time I saw them.
They had guns by the side of a building.
They were looking forward.
I put myself in that situation.
I would totally be one of those dead guys.
I would think that I was being smart
by staying with the group or something like that.
I see that
and then people are like,
what a bunch of idiots.
They didn't know. You would have been that guy too probably i would have
been that guy too a youtube video it was like navy seals reviews combat movies like you've seen
this sort of thing and uh he saw a bunch of soldiers bunched up before the end and he was
just like i mean to me seeing soldiers bunched up like that just screams like low discipline, big problems, etc.
So intellectually, I knew it.
But like you, Taylor, God, don't you feel safer when you've got seven soldiers side by side?
Absolutely.
Yeah.
It's psychologically more comforting.
All right.
They're not going to get all of us.
Yeah.
Right.
Really?
You're just a bigger target.
Well, yeah.
They're not going to get all of us.
Yeah, right?
But really, you're just a bigger target.
Yeah, they will.
A better target, yeah.
I see a lot of footage of groups of three to ten kind of running in a field for whatever reason
because we run in fields in the 21st century still.
And they hit them with an anti-tank guided missile.
And it just blows people to smithereens
and it wipes out the whole group
it's like a star wars weapon hit them though it's it's so fast taylor you get an indication
of like how quick the projectile was moving and it's not like a missile that's going
it's like like a fucking star wars blaster hit one guy and five guys around him died. It's like a Diablo fucking kill spell or something.
Everybody died.
And the ones that don't are like crawling away.
And like one guy comes back for his buddy and then his buddy explodes.
And he's like, fuck this.
And he runs away.
They've got so many more bullets, though.
They just keep shooting.
The craziest thing I saw recently, two things.
They've been taking their T-34 tanks,
the cheapest, oldest tanks that Russia has,
and just filling them up with explosives
and then putting them on cruise control,
let's just say, and sending
them toward the Ukrainian lines.
When they go off, it's a different kind of explosion
because it is a tank full
of explosives.
It's a huge... They put bombs
inside of a bigger bombshell,
a bombshell that's made to be...
You know what a tank's made to do.
It's a real solid metal vessel.
I saw them filling it up with the mine clearing charges.
The mine clearing charges are essentially big fat rope
that's made of high explosive.
Is this the Russians doing this?
I've seen Russians do it.
When it went off it
was like you saw the pressure wave you saw like you saw i'm trying to find it that sounds wild
that they just packed a whole tank full of i saw footage of the ukrainians getting the tank before
it arrived so it was like a hundred yards away now it's reddit comments i know but all the reddit comments were like yeah still too
close 100 yards you are not safe from this kamikaze tank they're deaf they're they're probably deaf
i i bet they'd live i don't know but i don't know anything about pressure waves i've never
dealt with anything that creates a pressure wave that hurts people but uh that's you've
dealt with pressure waves that don't hurt people yeah they feel great
it's the most addictive part about blowing shit up
it feels really good
I was so surprised I was with Kyle one night
it makes your hair move a little bit
my hair doesn't move
there's no movement in this thing
but it was like it blew my hair back
the closer you are the better it feels
and it feels like
if you've ever been in a car with a stupid sound system,
the hardest hit that that thing can do, but all compressed in this moment,
this thunk that you just feel like move through you.
It's pretty fucking cool.
Well, one of those tank ones I would imagine would be strong enough
that it doesn't liquefy and fuck up all your internal organs.
It's close enough, yeah.
Shockwave, if you're...
Shockwave can do that. I'm not a bomb expert, but tanks are big, and a whole tank full of bombs liquefy and fuck up all your internal organs in a shockwave.
I'm not a bomb expert, but tanks are big and a whole
tank full of bombs.
I imagine like 100 yards
away, they're probably not.
It's a weapon made of bombs.
That's what we need to
design. Robot warriors made of
bombs. They get in a compromised position, detonate.
Makes sense.
Yeah. It's all going to position, detonate. Makes sense.
It's all going to be robot war in the future anyway.
Or it won't. It'll be... I follow the war every single day.
I just think you just
keep using the cheapest, best
soldier you can. I think they'll just keep
sending young, untrained people
to their deaths. That is what a lot
of these people tend to do. That is the way.
That is sad. Hopefully it ends soon.
Yeah, no, I hope not. I hope it just goes on for years and years.
The longer it goes, the better for us and the better for the Ukrainians.
Probably not at least another year. It's good time over there.
So they're doing the counter offensive.
People had higher expectations for the counter offensive.
I think it started a good
two full months ago maybe two and a half and ukrainian is gaining ground every single day
but it's like a hundred meters two kilometers it's always small they're just inching all the
time and pennies make dollars woody yeah right i'd rather be gaining than losing like the winter but the hope the hope
was and what happened in the fall was they like broke through the lines and then the russians just
ran and ran and ran and the ukrainians kept chasing so the russians kept running and they
gained like 1500 square kilometers like something big something now it's it's not like that but it seems like they're just gaining
100 yards and the russians are standing so yeah i keep waiting for some interesting tank footage
with uh that you know the the american tanks haven't gotten there yet um but they have i saw
one blown up that's why i said that really m2 bradley right that's what no that so that's uh
that's an APC.
Like a troop moving vehicle.
Oh, Abrams is the one.
That's got a 25mm cannon on it.
I take it back.
It might not have been an Abrams.
It might have been a Bradley.
Yeah, the Abrams haven't gotten there yet.
But the German tanks and the English tanks have.
I want to say Tornado, but I don't think that's right.
Is it the Challenger?
Isn't it?
Yeah, I think you are.
I think the Germans had leopard and maybe the... I'm having a brain fart.
I can't remember right now.
Tiger.
Yeah, that's it.
That's what they should have done.
It's going to drag on and on and on.
We're going to keep pumping.
This election cycle will determine a lot, I think, for the future of the war if the Democrats win.
It's really if Trump wins.
Trump is the only guy, even from the right, who's talking crazy enough and would be silly enough to go in there and cut Ukraine off, essentially.
Be like, oh, we're only sending medical aid from now on.
We're pulling this.
We're pulling that.
Yeah.
That would be the death knell for the the whole thing and if vladimir putin it's
gotta be what he's waiting for that's gotta be what he's hoping for right now he's praying that
donald trump gets in and can deal with somebody over here because biden is making fucking riffs
and jokes about him you know like that's not the a guy who's trying to put himself in a position
to talk to
vladimir putin about any fucking thing about other than how he can kill more russians so i think it's
gonna go on for a while uh i don't know if trump's gonna win i still think he's it's looking less
than likely and less likely the more he gets indicted jesus christ but he still has his core
group of people so we'll see yeah we'll see it's all gonna when does all that shit
kick off it's july of 23 you think it would begin in earnest in the in this fall like like so the
they should have kick off i think i don't know what you're asking but i can tell you the republican
debates are like 48 days away oh my god they should they should really have some some sort
of like six month window where
you're not allowed to campaign until six months before the election or something this is ridiculous
we all have to do this nonsense a quarter of our lives are just watching
the one of the fun things coming up is whether trump will participate so trump is way ahead in
the polls and to him it's like, I can't win.
I can only lose because he's already winning.
Like what change would he get?
So debates without Trump,
I don't know if they can frame it as Trump is a coward,
which might be true-ish.
Or if it's going to be like,
there is no primary.
It's just Trump without Trump.
The debate's boring prediction. It's just Trump. Without Trump, the debate's boring.
Prediction. Trump will not go.
He will do his own thing the same
night, which will make
him look good. And not only
that, he'll be getting paid for it.
Like one of the other networks, somebody will pay him
to put on his town hall or whatever it is against
them. And when the Republicans
finally figure out who
is going to be the guy to go against trump
then he'll show up then when it's mano a mano and he's got his ted cruz marco rubio these are
people from last cycle i don't know who this is neither of those guys i don't think
no you wouldn't think so christy pence any tiny latino basically. Christy? There is no fucking way. That dude is
a fat-ass idiot.
I think Christy is
the best on the mic.
Some people really like Trump, but if you take away
Trump, Christy seems like he's the best on the
mic. If you add Trump,
then he still is to me, but I think I'd be
in the mic. I don't like Ted Cruz, but if you
ever hear Ted Cruz at one of those Senate
hearings when he's defending something you care about, he's pretty good.
When you see him going after somebody you don't like, he's pretty good.
Did you know he was on the Harvard debate team?
It shows.
I've heard Ted Cruz seems like a very smart guy, even if you don't like him.
But smart in that he's a politician you know he's doing
what his owners tell him here's my take i've heard he's very unlikable and he doesn't have
many allies at work however if you don't agree he's smart then you're i don't know just not
wanting to believe it because he's smart he's smart i don't know who Just not wanting to believe it. Because he's smart. He's smart.
I don't know. He was on the Harvard debate team.
He's an attorney, right?
He was a Supreme Court candidate. He was on the list.
Yeah. People give him so much shit
because Trump dunked on him and then the left
despises him because he's effective.
So you kind of forget that
he's there for a reason.
Marco Rubio is not.
He went on vacation when the storm came.
Yeah, everybody with money probably did.
Everybody who had a jet that would fly out of Dallas that night
hopped on board.
That's not a good look, though.
What do you want them there, shoveling driveways?
No, contacting FEMA, getting services lined up.
You don't think FEMA knows?
It's one of those things, right?
You want the visuals, the optics
of the president on the
scene of the tornado.
We need to get in here and clean up all the
trees and
look for survivors. And if they are,
give them medical aid.
And also, all those people will need food
and water. Mr. President,
sir, what the fuck are you doing here?
We are all professionals doing this.
So at some point,
I wish I could repeat it.
It depends on how they want to frame it because like,
they can be like,
oh,
Ted Cruz,
coward,
because he's leaving in this.
And then they did the same thing to Trump where they're like,
Trump selfishly goes to hurricane to give out supplies.
Doesn't he know he's creating traffic
that's impeding that?
And that's like, no matter what,
people aren't making a decision
based on what's happening.
They're making a decision first about,
is this someone that I like or dislike?
Oh, I dislike them.
And so it's sinister.
Oh, I like them.
And so it's genuine.
And then that's where it really goes.
I'm always sold when
a politician if they mr president will you be going to the scene of the whatever i think my
presidents and uh the secret service contingent and everything that comes along with the media
presence would only serve to take attention away from the events that blah blah blah and diminish
the the effectiveness of blah blah blah and and i'm sold immediately i'm like yeah you're right
dude like you flying into town is a big fucking deal it wasn't even a big hurricane there have the effectiveness of blah, blah, blah. And I'm sold immediately. I'm like, yeah, you're right, dude.
Like you flying into town is a big fucking deal.
It wasn't even a big hurricane.
There have been like 15, 16 bigger than this.
His name was Zoe.
Zoe, my God, imagine being afraid of someone named Zoe.
Ugh.
All these pussies in Florida.
And I mean that.
Like he's like fucking sold.
Because I can't run a third time.
These people, homosexuals. Like like this about florida that's what
you should taylor we're we're getting we're getting to the final moments here so i wanted
to ask you are you going to get into diablo 4 again when the new season begin because the
situation is this you'll need to make a new character there's gonna be new things to achieve
you won't have to redo the campaign unless you want to, and you'll start off with the horse. But there's a new season,
new characters, new realm, and the idea is
that every season they're going to
they want the eternal realm
where we have our current character to be
this thing that lasts forever
that's somewhat balanced.
But I think they want the seasons to be
able to inject
new mechanics that are
unbalanced, that can make things be exciting and silly.
Like a new magic set, yeah.
Well, what they're doing is they're going to have this new sort of infested mode.
I can't remember exactly what it's called, but all the monsters are infested with this
thing, and you have to kill huge monsters and take their hearts, and the hearts are
going to replace the gemstones that you currently have in your armor, and the hearts are going
to have their own unique traits that you'll now be currently have in your armor, and the hearts are going to have their own unique
traits that you'll now be
imbuing your armor with. Good, at least I didn't spend
millions of dollars making all those gems.
Yeah, it's not that
expensive. You just turn... Anyway.
If you do it hundreds of times, compulsively it is.
Here's what we'll carry over until
the new season. You better get cracking,
because you've only got a scant
14 days, because the 20th things
roll over uh the statues of lilith the altars of lilith that i meticulously spent nine hours one
day finding every single one of i think there's 125 maybe hidden throughout the map um and it's
funny the way you literally yesterday literally yesterday evening i sat down and i was like all right how many
fucking lilas statues because that's one of those things in a game woody it's like you're supposed
to find like fucking a hundred of these little like dark statues that you like click and it's
like oh you've discovered this you get a little bonus and you know something bonus a big bonus
helps you out and i had played i was like level 60 or something and so i played a decent amount
of the game and i was checking and it's like, you have like seven of these discovered total of the 110.
And so I spent like an hour and a half doing two full regions, getting like 65 of them.
And then I literally like stood up to go to the bathroom and get a soda.
And on the way back, I found myself actively dreading playing the game and so i was
like fuck this i turned it off and then i went and did something else like as soon as i had in
my head i was like i the thought of having a map on this monitor and then futzing about looking for
where these are in the exact place because the fucking retards who make let me see my video my biggest fucking numbers on it it's kind of like this what if you wanted to know where
cleveland was and i put a number 21 on all of ohio is that helpful no i have a good it's not helpful
in my video he showed he goes there and and just shows himself discovering every one of them he
starts pausing and listening and bored to tears he starts with a huge map and then he zooms in a little more more more and you find the exact
nook on your map mark it and go straight there you but it took me nine hours i know the feeling
i kept coming back and i would think i don't want to do it i don't want to do it i don't want to do
it but i would think you know i've never actually done one of these completionist type tasks and
again we're fucking doing it.
And I did.
And I'm so glad I did because that carries over.
And the deal is you build renown points in any of the four or five regions in the game
by doing things like finding Lilith and doing side quests and such.
And when you get enough renown, you get big rewards,
like four levels at a time in the game of Paragon points.
It's a big deal.
And I have all of them unlocked, and that carries over.
So when the new season starts, you'll instantly
get that big dose of renown and all
the bonuses that come along with it for just having
the waypoints and the offers of love. I have no idea how that
Paragon shit works. I have my whole first board
full up, and I don't know how. Then you're done with that
region. Oh. Oh, I can...
We'll put our heads together.
I can make the game fun
for you again and you gotta suit my character the game the game itself is fun the fighting
is a great time i like how my character's developed i've respect like five times and
let's do some nightmare dungeons that's what's fun to me like i've got i've pushed the skill
level to the point not the skill level the difficulty level to the point where it's hard
where if they hit you once you die and you know it's it's rough i'm like helping a friend of mine like there's some
world tier three stuff but at like level 62 or whatever i am now like i'll come down to three
it's absurd oh yeah you should come down to three i didn't want to pull you from the better loot but
like yeah it's it's it is totally not a challenge on world 3 at this point like every single fight I get into I hold down
W and I stand
still and it blows up
every corpse and for every corpse I blow
up fucking two more are made and I just
hold down W until the entire map is black
and then everyone's dead
at level 40
nightmare dungeons
this could be a post show conversation
you know what we're all people out there Nightmare Dungeons. This could be a post-show conversation. Put it...
You know what?
We're mad right now.
You're not going to get
one of the more popular game releases
in the last five years.
Long awaited, but
me and Taylor are going to talk about it private.
In secret.
You won't even know.
I could go.
In our private conversation, we're going to use slurs.
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Alright, PKA
655.