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pkn461 what's up boys how's it going i'm not too high i'm a little fired up i did my my car
dealership just tried to rip me off i wasn't having it you got them you fucked them i i did
what did they want you to do i just got a fair deal here's what happened i called them and set
up an appointment for jackie's car boom and this is the way the conversation went it was real short
i was like hey i need an oil change and an inspection. I said, inspection, like a state inspection? I said,
yes. And then we moved on to what time I would drop the car off. Boom. Well, what actually happens
is Jackie drops the car off. And then I like follow her by 10 minutes or so and pick her up.
And she's like, hey, I have a coupon for this oil change. And they're like, cool.
Hey, look, on the back of it, there's a $50 coupon.
That's the one you want to use. And she's like, oh, okay.
And then they did like a 30,000-mile inspection workover on the car.
Mind you, the car has 21,000 miles.
A little sneaky.
Yeah.
So we go to pick it up, and the bill's about double what I expected it to be.
And he's like, well, you agreed to this. And I was like, absolutely not. I did not.
This is how my conversation went. Then my wife comes in here. You see her coming from a mile away.
You change the deal. And by the way, Jackie's right next to me. And and, you know, like and now you do this like no it wasn't like that he's like well i told
you she's like no you did not i showed you my coupon and you flipped it over and said you let's
use this one on the back instead he called up asking for an oil change i came in here coming
for an oil change and you flipped it over, said something about a free oil change.
I guess the oil change is free with the 30,000 mile service,
which is like triple the price.
Yeah.
And it went back and forth and I did a good job.
Old me is a little better at this than young me.
I used to never change people's minds.
One thing that I,
a trap that I sometimes fall into bad words, you know,
that'll get you. Yeah. Taylor
did it on the show once with movers. He
mentioned this and it was like, he's totally
right. Cause you want
to be like, come on, this is bullshit. You can
see it, right? Oh,
don't you dare. Don't do that. That
is the wrong thing. Cause they'll be like bullshit.
Whoa, sir. I think you need
to calm down a little bit. We don't use this kind of profanity in an establishment like this right yes all your
mechanics don't use bad words tell me more about this um but at one point i said this was heckin
insane and i'm like yeah no one complains about heckin like no no one is complaining about that
that actually throws them off the scent they're like what, what the fuck is he? Oh, damn.
Now I'm off my negotiating game because he threw a rat into the...
I got a Mormon out here losing his cow.
I don't want to get ornery here, sir.
It went back and forth for a while,
but she was able to quote her conversation this morning as well.
He's like, well, you know, you signed up for this
service like last year when you came that has oil changes for life, but you only get free oil
changes if you do these other services here. And I'm like, no one said anything about that.
We came here for an oil change and you just changed the level of service on us.
So to push it all forward, it took a a while i even asked for the manager and the
guy was the manager it was like okay you want the general manager i should have said that i want to
speak with your father i like that too but what happened was like i was making a bit of a scene
and i'm embarrassing him in front of everybody because I think what I said is true.
A woman walked in there and they're like, well, let's just start fucking signing her up for a 30,000 mile service, 9000 miles early, which costs more and et cetera.
And he's like, so what would you have me do?
And I was like, well, the service that we agreed to was
60 so i just charged me that and that's what he did so good now you can blow right past 30 000
miles you don't have to worry about that for even a moment it's $50,000 for you, sweetheart. You just keep rocking and rolling. Dude, with the customer service,
you never get what you want if you are rude.
Like, that is a movie thing, a TV show thing,
where some smart, witty guy calls and makes a joke so clever
that AT&T man just has to submit.
It's like, you know, in real life,
like be kind and patient and try to bring them in.
When I had my yard problem and they sent like goons out to try and collect
money.
Like I knew that those guys,
like they sent those level employees because they didn't want to have that
uncomfortable conversation.
And so when they showed up,
I was like,
geez,
guys,
like,
like if you paid for this service, like, would you be cool if this is what your yard looked like?
Like I just want my yard looking normal.
And they're all like, I get it, man.
They told us to come collect the money, but I totally feel you.
Like I get it.
You don't have to preach to us.
Like most of the time, if you could just draw them in a bit
and be like, hey, like imagine yourself in this situation.
I was like, imagine your wife came and then suddenly the service you agreed to over the phone isn't what she walked away by.
Maybe you'd feel like they saw your wife coming from a mile away.
Yeah, you'd feel cheated.
You'd feel taken advantage of, like someone trying to pull one over on you.
No curse words is an important rule because every maybe kyle this is better luck every time they change the
topic to be the curse words oh my god sir i think you need to calm down oh my god you know we don't
talk like that around here my virgin ears it's like shut up slut dude considering how i talk
on this show i am priest like when i
talk to customer service i don't think i have ever slipped up and said a bad word the word
but the best use the word you use is unacceptable this is unacceptable the best though is when
you've already given up on them making anything right so you can go full bore and watch their
reactions to to this mid-level cursing. You're like, oh, if bastards
got you looking at them, like,
tearing your hair out, wait till the closing
act when I drop the N-bomb inexplicably
in front of all these white people.
I was raised by
Xbox.
He's like a Bosnian immigrant, and you're
hard-arring him.
He's like, I'm sorry, sir, it's just the worst word I know.
Like, it's just the worst one, and I gotta use it. It's just the worst word I know. It's just the worst one.
You die. You gotta use it.
It's the worst. You cunt.
The other thing is I wasn't trying to get him
to like me. I was trying to get...
I was trying to win.
It wasn't even a lot of money. It was
a couple tens of dollars.
I just felt like...
I was just like...
I felt like he was trying to steal from me
I didn't want to be his victim
He's got his son on dialysis
Standing next to him
He was a scammer
Yeah that's sneaky
Those car people they try and do that
When I bought my car they kept
Putting that sheet in front of me like
Sign this and it's like,
this still has the fucking finance
shit on it. Like this. Oh, okay.
Oops.
You bitch.
No, it's the lowest version
of the fucking...
With my truck?
He wanted to sell me these
upsells, this extended contract, stuff like that.
And not only was I not having it, I wasn't even budging like a tiny bit.
And he was like, let me tell you about this.
I'm like, if you feel compelled to say it, I'll sit through your pitch.
But you should know this isn't going anywhere.
And he does the pitch.
And I was like, you finished?
No.
And it was like a couple of those. And he does the pitch. And I was like, you finished? No. And it was like a couple of those.
And he stopped selling.
He was like, all right, all right, let's just get this paperwork.
If you're getting nowhere, you might as well get there fast.
I was like, all right, I won.
I told you.
That's why I was the best employee in my last year at the Enterprise
and Boise Airport because they'd come by and like i knew i wasn't
staying with that job and so they'd be like you have to ask everybody for every fucking sale of
everything and like dude i i was a dream imagine you're renting a car and i'm like got insurance
but and you're like yeah i'm like fucking awesome and you're like do you need anything and i'm like no like that's how i was
doing it i people would like look over at my line and like realize like fuck hon we're in the wrong
line we need to be in that guy's line that guy's firing people out of here it's like sometimes i
would legitimately be like like i get a phone call that's like all right we only have like a uconn
left but we have more keys coming in so don't rent the uconn we need it for a four call that's like, all right, we only have like a Yukon left, but we have more keys coming in.
So don't rent the Yukon.
We need it for a four.
And it's like, yeah, I'm off at three.
And these people have been waiting for half an hour.
So I'm just like, hey, you know how you wanted that Hyundai accent?
Yukon.
And she's like, okay.
And I'm like, Yukono.
Yukono for you all.
Fire it up.
Get them out of there.
Like, that's
that's what people liked about it you know they don't
make money that way they make money on the insurance
but like as far as customer satisfaction
oh I was the popular guy
getting people out of there that's what you
want I love it
I am all caught up
on silo and from I'm not
I'm not which one are you
not caught up on neither
neither I've been busy
um yeah i may have i may have checked out of from um i unsubscribe from mgm plus although
now i have plex so it's on there um so i guess i can watch it in perpetuity get rid of mgm right
after the show today don't let don't let them get you already did that's what i just said like we
have plex though so we got've got it forever. Plex has
flaws. It buffers sometimes, especially
if you watch at night when I do.
Sometimes the audio can be a little
out of cue.
Out of sync, I should say. I know
the Mario Brothers movie has a
real audio issue.
If only that series
Luther was on there with
Idris Elba, I'd love to watch that sometime
you know there's no porn on it at all just saying there's no pornography and i've looked
heaven put the good shows up first you guys have him like start putting porn up people
like please you're putting free videos i mean at least we just halfway a little
nine songs or something that's what i was gonna say so god damn it this episode of from was so
bad i have to masturbate right now i have to come to get that's how i make it to the end of from
yeah i need to catch up to keep myself engaged i'm like oh was that me getting excited or the show shows about edging
so why not i just start to like get a really strong association with like how much i love
the show from like i don't know what it is it's terrible but i love it i get hard every time we're
almost two years into from and no one's hit a headshot yet no i i want to know what happens
if your headshot is i don't know where all the bullets are coming from frankly i mean somebody was a real gun nut if they had this many with them i i've only seen
like 10 or 12 fired but i maybe i'm missing it it seems like it's been a long time though i don't
know i want to talk about the titanic uh people so yes so i guess you know james cramp cameron
back in the day back in the day pioneered that whole going down to the Titanic thing. He was one of the very first
to go down there and then they made the movie and everything.
Since then, nobody's really gone down very much
until the last two or three years
and they commercialized it. Now, people are going
down like mad. All the time
they're sending people down to this thing. It's expensive.
It's a quarter million a seat and they got
four or five seats to sell
and then maybe a pilot, I'm presuming, and they went down the other day. It's 13,000 feet of
water plus, by the way, in the North Atlantic, and they lost them, and the news is like,
we hope they find them. The search continues, and I'm like, wait, 13,000? Let me see the ship.
Hey, they're dead.
They're all dead.
What are y'all doing?
We're wasting our time.
They're so dead.
96 hours of air, right?
Oh, what I mean is they're going to die.
Like, if I send you into deep space with 96 hours of air, same situation.
They're dead.
They're dead.
It's like they're searching for them.
Like, what are they searching for them with?
Sonar?
Yeah.
The Navy's there, right? But it won't matter. They won't find them. they're searching for them like what are they searching for them with sonar yeah another
the navy's there right like like but it won't matter they won't find sub basically was i saw
the tourists paid like 200 grand or something absurd to go down in this honestly shitty looking
little thing that didn't have enough windows for what if you're paying that you need better
submarines taylor if if let's say this let's say you and i both
pay a quarter million and we're down by the titanic and i go hey woody do you mind moving
so i can get a chance to look out the porthole that's infuriating there should be there should
be if i get bored of the titanic there should be current movies in theaters currently that i can
pull down a little thing who wants to see. Who wants to see the movie Titanic?
It's playing in the back.
There should be food.
You start watching the movie in the back.
So this thing failed.
Somewhere close to the Titanic.
Did they even?
It goes to 13,000 feet below the surface.
And Taylor's like, need more windows.
What are you going to see?
You're going to all huddle around the front and look?
So maybe a screen door? With this picture, those four tanks around the side aren't part of it and then
obviously the big flat aluminum there we go yeah there's not a lot to this motherfucker they are
dead so that thing stopped working it's sitting on the the ocean floor they don't know what
happened no they lost contact they don't know where it is taylor taylor there are two huge
ocean currents,
one coming from the south and one coming down
from the north, that pass right through
here. They don't know where these guys
are. They're halfway to England.
GPS, they're under
two miles of water.
I guess two miles, that's a good amount of water.
Yeah, yeah. Do you still have service
two miles?
They're in a blackness you can't even fathom
man you're right they're in trouble
man what what do you think the moment was like when they're like this is our tomb or like because
there's no way there's i see i saw some shit that was like they've got air for another 14 hours and
it's like no they don Like, there is no way.
I bet they're in there right now panicking.
My money would be there in there right now going, well, we're dead.
Anybody want to fuck?
Oh, my God.
I was just waiting for it.
I was like, we got 10 hours to live.
And I mean, I could still get it up.
Wait, it just stopped working or there was.
It's hard.
They should make a movie about it because they do this all the time.
Oh.
Like, what was the one with Marky Mark or whatever his name was?
It's the Perfect Storm.
The Perfect Storm, yeah.
Imagine the whole sword fishing trip.
But in this, like a portal opens up and they went down into the center of the earth, did all sorts of exploring down there and the other around the upside down.
Did you see the controller the guy was using to to direct that submarine literally mad cats
yeah a mad cats controller why wouldn't it be though i mean stock controllers are better 250k
yeah at least he had longer thumbsticks on it he had like control freaks made he really did he had
these long like custom-made control freaks on it maybe that was his first mission with the control
freaks threw him off a little bit the angles i mean i think it's the submarines they you know
you know in walmart when you got to play the games how they have that thing the xbox controllers
stuck to like that flexible thing i've seen that same setup in submarines with an xbox controller you
know like like like they don't reinvent the wheel when it comes to those controllers they use video
game controllers in the military a lot do you think like for the submarine like a b do you
think they do stuff like boost yeah yeah that's your b is your turbo mode for the nuclear submarine
um yeah how do they drop a turtle shell out the back?
That's the that's the
oil slick.
You got to click the thumbstick
and everybody misses that one. Yeah.
What they need to do to get out of this is
up, down, up, down, left, right,
A, B, A, B, down,
up, down, up, left, right.
That's either
nowhere. No, that will. It's either that's either with subs or a finishing
move in mortal combat it's one of those yeah they're so dead um a shame son of missing
billionaire attends blink 182 concert amid rescue efforts good gosh he looks so fucking on the
it was this chunky dude and the text read something like probably not the right probably
not cool to be here right now but this is how oh you got it oh yeah that's him that's the picture
of him at the look at the smile it's like about to inherit some money wait who that's one of the
trapped guys no that's his stepson who's at a blink 182 concert right now posting on like facebook
and twitter like probably shouldn't be here right now posting on like facebook and twitter like
probably shouldn't be here right now but gotta support the blink it was something like that
oh that's terrible well i'm glad i wasn't on that fucking uh tomb sent miles beneath the
the water to die and suffocation hopefully yeah not a giant squid ripping ripping it apart until the water just
gushes in that'd be faster it would it's scarier yeah i don't know yeah that's already such a scary
place to be the bottom of the sea just hoping like i would be down there like there has to be
some technology perhaps a larger submarine there is there is like
the navy has all that stuff they're looking for them that the navy has stuff they can go down
there and grab them bring them up you dock with them maybe not with them because of what that is
but it can dock with like real submarines you know what they should you know they go down sometimes
take another version of that same submarine put it in the same area, direct it the same way, and then see where that one
goes.
Drop it in to see what happens.
Now we know which way to go.
Do we know where it was when we lost it?
No. That's the thing about losing.
I lost them again!
It's like,
Kyle lost his keys. Okay, Kyle,
where did you leave them?
It's so not helpful.
Just asking people, where's the last thing you remember putting it?
Well, I haven't checked there yet.
I was looking in my neighbor's closet, being quiet, poking around their trash in front of their house.
Usually when I've completely lost something, it's fallen out of my pocket in a chair or a car.
That's almost...
This chair even, my phone can fall out
and fall like a perfect fucking sliver
down into the crevice of this thing,
and it's invisible.
It's just perfectly hidden,
and that's usually where it is.
The shorts I wear in the summer,
most of the time I have them on now,
have an extra pocket that's amazing.
My phone doesn't fall out of my pocket.
That would be really hard.
Something about the, this is my case.
It's like this grippy silicone.
And you have to kind of pull it out of your pocket.
However, in that pocket is typically these Listerine breath strips I like and ChapStick.
Those are the things I need.
And every time I pull my phone out out it would drop them on the ground
but now I have a super slick
side pocket
with a zipper
bam
that's what you need
yeah so fanny pack
the zipper
slick you can't even tell I have an extra
it's pocket I believe I could get
pickpocketed and my chapstick would be still there.
Yes, that's why I wear the fanny pack.
You want that fanny pack way up high, right under your nipples.
That's how you prevent it from being robbed.
It's just a decoy.
You put the good stuff somewhere else in your underwear,
and then you have a decoy fanny pack.
Yeah.
It's a solid strategy.
I tried to watch this documentary on netflix
it's pretty interesting i i quit at the end but it was about this guy in the early 90s
very much on the spectrum he was one of those people who loves to collect things he's got an
extensive collection of cereal boxes like like he's got them perfectly unfolded and stacked
and like hundreds of them every variation and and he got into pez dispensers
and pez dispensers are a little bit like beanie babies except they actually did increase in value
because there's so many rare and one-offs and this guy yokel that he is his son just was like
well daddy we could go to slovenia and get those those European ones he's like well I've never been
anywhere goes and gets him a passport goes and gets him a plane ticket then they're in Slovenia
and they don't speak any Slovenian or whatever the fuck they don't speak any other language
they're just yokels and they stumble them what their way through Eastern Europe until or until they find like the
Pez people there and he's bringing back millions of dollars of Pez dispensers at
a time and duffel bags don't imagine like a little double huge like drug
smuggling duffels and and he gets caught he's making it's millions of dollars is
this even illegal that's the thing they interviewed this german guy and he's like
here legal is you know some things we just don't care he sort of says that it's just like no one
here enforces pez law basically in america maybe y'all have pez law we don't give a fuck here
will he get he runs into customs um and border or whatever they're they've got his bag dumped
out on the table,
piled high with PEZ dispensers, eight more behind it.
And the guy's like, you're not the importer for these.
You could bring back a handful on a vacation,
but you are importing these for business purposes.
He's like, I'm a collector.
He's like, still, you can't import them.
Let me show you.
And he gets out the big book of where every company
like registers to be um you know the the official importer the sole importer etc he's like pez pez
well if they're that stupid god bless they never registered as the the official importer of their
own product somebody didn't file some paperwork long ago
like 90 years half of it but not all of it and now this and and pez hates him they're trying to
destroy his life because they're messing up the market with he's going over there bringing back
like these 90s early 90s um but but the guy's so silly they get him to reenact some of the spy craft that he did
now that he's like old with his beard
am I missing something?
these are just regular Pez dispensers he's bringing back
the European ones that we can't get here
he's getting like these
it's like getting a beanie
the blue unicorn
oh they only make red ones in the US
or wait is that a
is that a Tony Blair Pez dispenser?
There are crazy people who view Pez as like Beanie Babies who are sane and rational.
Yes, except...
$12,000 for rare Make-A-Face Pez Grail sealed on card 1972.
And there's... I wonder what that candy tastes like.
Oh, you would never open or eat it and you know
what pez tastes like it tastes like shit yeah same as when it was new i know what it takes
how have the pez has changed over the years not since 1972 now they have 100 more years left
i remember messing around with pez dispensers at my grandparents' house when I was a little kid. I had so much more
fun doing the zzzz
and reloading them
than actually eating them.
You'd have like...
Oh, it's terrible.
That's an awful...
That's like a medicinal tablet.
It's just a sugar pill. None of them are good.
Grape was good. Grape was okay.
But no, I don't remember. I've never had a... with just it's just a sugar pill none of them grape was good grape was okay uh but but no i
i've never had a i've never had a pez and thought this is bad it's sugar it's just chalky it's like
it's like the worst kind of candy like a truck like the same way like good and plenty is candy
but nobody after 19 after the economy recovered in the great depression eats it i feel like i'm
a sugarholic, right?
Like you might say, Woody, whiskey is an acquired taste.
It takes a little time before you appreciate this.
That's how I am with sugar.
Taylor, Pez is for an established palate.
You have to put way too much sugar in your tea through your entire teen years to prepare yourself for the Pez.
I couldn't. If I came and had dinner at your house i'd be like oh oh like oh that tea chicken breast and vegetables it's like oh no wonder you look good fuck where's the
where's all the breading on your meat i i am i don't, 600 calories so far today, something like that.
Nice.
Nice.
But I'm hungry.
I am too.
I'm going to make some fish after this.
I don't eat very, I like go on kicks with different kinds of meats.
If you guys do that, we're like, for like two weeks in a row,
I'm making spare ribs in the smoker. And I'm like, I don't think I'll ever not eat spare ribs.
I love spare.
And then like,
like a week will pass and I'll be like,
nothing sounds worse than spare ribs in the smoke.
And then I'll like pass up into the store,
like,
like sea bass.
And I'm like,
that looks good.
And so then like a week ago I started just like eating nothing but this
because it's really good with a bunch of Cajun seasoning on it.
Yeah, I do that in
like two weeks i'll get tired of it and go back to something else go back to steak the thing about
super chili appeals to me is the quantity like this like i went to it was uh i don't know five
days ago something like that jackie and i are in bed and she's like you know what we've both been losing weight eating right whatever and she's like i need a cheat day
let's tomorrow let's go to a steakhouse let's eat the bread and just have a lunch that with like no
fear and we did and it was great and i. Nice. I forgot how I got on that.
But yeah, anyway, I.
Steak's not even a bad.
Oh, the quantity.
I got nine ounces.
I went for the big size.
I got a nine ounce steak.
People who smoke 13 pounds of meat.
I can't imagine.
Oh, yeah.
I made two entire chickens.
imagine just oh yeah i made two entire chickens like this is probably almost two months ago now at the same time i made two beer can chickens and it was and afterward i was like
this is so like why did i make two entire chickens so i just ate nothing but chicken for the next
four or five days like that was that was about ate. Really, even very little carbs. Mostly chicken.
I want to have just endless meat like that.
Just treat myself.
It's great. I've ordered the...
Costco still has their chickens for like $6.
Sometimes I'll...
I can have a Costco...
When I order my groceries,
they're coming from somewhere.
So I'll go ahead and tack on a $6 Costco chicken some nights
and I'll just sit there with a fork
and I'll eat that chicken. It's good.
What are you having for dinner tonight? Chicken.
What kind? Chicken.
Yeah.
Don't you see? Herbs.
Says herbs right on the fucking
blister shell of the container. I accidentally ordered
so much chicken the day before
yesterday. Instacart
shopper texted me. She's like,
which one of these would you
like as a replacement for your chicken breast and i didn't really pay attention i just zoomed
into the price per pound and i was like that one and didn't go back well she had picked out like
an eight pound package of chicken bread it's so much so i cooked it all so i'm just just just
trying to eat chicken in every different way i can this week with my eight pounds of chicken flesh.
I don't think I'm going to get through it.
Like a year ago.
You could do it, Kyle.
I ordered.
Put me in.
I didn't hear no bell.
Each chicken breast is like a pound.
They're so goddamn big.
You're like a muscle.
Like a year ago, I ordered shampoo like in a grocery order to to my house and you know just
absentmindedly i don't have enough time to run out and do stuff i'm busy i'll do that and i guess
they got the quantity wrong because instead of getting one bottle of like suave 10 in one or
whatever the fuck i'm using they brought me the entire display box of it.
I just got through my Suave 10-in-1.
I had the entire thing you see at the store, like eight bottles of it.
This woman was like, this guy wants all the shampoo in Aldi.
That's what this guy wants, all of it.
Every bit of shampoo.
I lovelor told us
years ago and that's the thing if it's recorded it's always true forever he's like i choose my
shampoo by the amount of in ones that has like oh three in one oh four in one oh this one's a
shoe shine really bad tooth paste but my breath smells pretty good it smells my breath smells so masculine
sandalwood yeah it smells like sandalwood and and black oak current now i i like individual
products i've got shampoo and conditioner um and and soap i i got i got a pet peeve um you look in enough ladies showers you sort of start
noticing some um commonalities uh women don't use soap um so let me explain how i use soap by the
way maybe that's important because maybe everyone doesn't know how to use soap like i do i take the
bar of soap a solid bar for those you don't know what a bar of soap is because i've noticed
several women who didn't like there's soap in there like no there's not and i rub that soap
on my body and then i lather it around and wash it off with warm water women don't do that women
don't do that i don't understand how they keep from smelling bad all the time i think it's all
of the perfumes that exist and the creams they put on in the shower. This girl has shower lotion.
Shower lotion.
I didn't know that was a thing.
Immediately rinse off.
It's lotion you put on that immediately gets blasted off.
Hey, do you want to smell like roses for the next eight seconds?
No.
No, I don't.
I want to smell like coconut the rest of the fucking day.
That's why I'm going to...
And I can't imagine...
Do you want this $60 conditioner
where the second listed ingredient is glycerol
like all of them, so it's just putting a layer of glycerol
on your hair to make it feel smooth temporarily?
There's dirt and oil on my body.
Could be.
Might be.
What is Roundup?
Roundup is a solution for bugs.
Well, no.
It's for weeds. But it does cause cancer so in a way
it's also test control trees to spray that shit willy-nilly growing up i mean i've been in clouds
of it just every summer out there with a sprayer sometimes the big wand sprayer that the tractor
powers with a pto shaft like yeah i've been bathed in round it's like those like 1940s or 30s pictures
when they like sprayed ddt on children with that old like acme like big plunger push and the kids
just like haha and it's just like poison just poison everyone's in the room just like oh well
when they they're sprayed down the streets you've seen them like driving down the street with the
truck and just misting the children on the sidewalks with a fog of DDT.
That's crazy.
Man, I'm so glad I'm not at the bottom of the sea right now.
Being at the bottom of the sea
right now would suck.
Oh, absolutely.
And it doesn't matter,
but just in the back of your head,
keep this in mind, it can only be
open from the outside.
So if they did manage to get somewhere and surface,
it wouldn't matter.
They'd just still suffocate in there.
Really?
You can't?
Yeah.
Not that they'd ever do that.
They're stuck.
I was in that sub.
Everyone else would wonder why I was masturbating,
and I'd be like, who are you going to tell?
They'd be like, Matt, everything's operating just fine.
Please.
I don't trust you.
Nobody else is nervous.
You just choke them all out and live for five days instead.
Clever.
As you're like choking out the last person.
We got you.
Oh, no.
You can open the door, right?
Does it have to do with...
Could they open the door at the surface?
Or is it a pressure thing?
No, it's sealed from the outside.
That seems like an oversight.
It's an intentional thing.
It's sealed from the outside.
They're probably like...
They're putting bolts in, I think. It's sealed from the outside. They're probably like... They're putting bolts in, I think.
It's sealed from the outside. They're going down to two
miles? There's a reason it took us so long
to find that thing. How did it get lost?
The Titanic?
No, no, no. The Titanic.
So this thing just got
into an... There's an iceberg?
Yeah, there's an iceberg. Break down the whole thing.
And this chubby chick named Rose.
This is one great scene.
So it just sank a little bit off course,
got caught up in a super strong, unexpected current.
They don't know what happened.
They lost contact with it, and now that's it.
Taylor is already writing the movie.
He's like, first there was the giant octopus,
then it got tangled up in the Titanic then they found themselves
inside the ball with the chandeliers
and this and that
nobody dies
in mine it's like
after four minutes it's the
Swiss family Robinson
Zach said
missing Titanic sub sent out the stress
signal and could be tangled in the ship itself Zach said, missing Titanic sub sent out the stress signal
and could be tangled in the ship
itself.
Anything could be.
Kyle's right.
He could be doing battle with Lord Poseidon
as we speak.
That's an unfalsifiable hypothesis.
The Navy has sent down a magical
trident, apparently from olden
times, to aid the submariners.
There was another movie called
blue sea or blue ocean deep ocean with the smart scientists i mean smart sharks is that the one
where they never found the bodies there was talking about the one where they get left out
there the shark people i think so and they they never come back right yeah so the whole movie's made up exactly that's where
i'm headed on this there's been a couple movies that were basically like people disappear at sea
and then they write like two hours of drama and plot and how they fought to stay alive and the
fish they caught and the water sources etc and all of it completely invented in guessing. Oh, yeah. Yeah, pretty much.
That one was called fucking...
I don't know. Cast Away.
Let's Tread Water for 90 minutes.
I can't remember what it was called.
But yeah, it was like a couple.
Open Water.
Open Water, that's it.
It's a true story.
True story, obviously.
But yeah, they get left out there.
I've never seen it either.
Okay.
But I know, you know,
why would you watch that?
I'll watch that before I get to Terminator.
Don't do that. Don't't do that don't do that kyle i've been i've been loving uh that you're finally you
started sending clips and jokes from early simpsons i'm like yes got him got him some of
that shit really is hilarious some of the the jokes that are just peppered in that are not even for adults,
but for smart adults.
It's pretty good stuff.
There's a lot of that.
Sometimes it's some little silly joke, but then there's some good stuff in there.
And it's just situational comedy sometimes is so good.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm just kind of skipping around in the first six or seven seasons.
I think I was just watching Who Shot Mr. Burns?
Yeah, that was a good one.
That apparently at the time, everybody got it wrong.
Everyone got it wrong, and it was like,
I remember talking about it at work.
Yeah, there were office pools and stuff.
As big as Game of Thrones ever was, it seems.
There's nothing like that now is there i guess
it's just the the culture of t there's not a shared time slot of of cohesion where it's like
i guess that's just what it is like it's not you don't show up on friday having watched the show
on thursday to make like bullshit small talk with someone at work i feel like if it shows big enough
like we all watch game of thrones that within minutes
of a game of thrones breaking bad things like that this is my last one transcend that stuff
i don't know what it would be right now but uh yeah for sure the the shows that back then when
you had three or four channels you know everybody was like what else were you going to watch last
night of course everybody tuned in at eight o'clock to see who shot mr burns it was a it was a real cultural thing and the simpsons was so
popular uh in the early 90s it was it was kind of a cultural phenomenon it really took over the
whole south park bit about the simpsons have already done it it's like yeah wow god every
you click through there's oh shit y'all have done everything the in the in the opening sequence to
the who shot mr episode, part one,
Bart's writing on the chalkboard,
this isn't a clue, dot, dot,
dot, or is it?
That's before the episode starts.
Little stuff's like that. Having it on HBO
or Disney, rather, and just being able
to watch every episode,
man, growing up, it sucked.
It was hard to get into a show because
first of all, a nine-year-old doesn't understand every Tuesday at 7 o'clock.
I'm probably going to have a hard time picking up that schedule
and sticking to it.
But on top of that, you miss that one episode.
Now you're out of sequence, and you're never getting it back.
I did that with the only show I would do that for as a young kid
is it was either 7 or 7.30 a.m. every Saturday morning
the new Pokemon would come on
and i was like right i'm right in the age of where pokemon was my was our jam throughout all of grade
school so like me and my friends like we would all get up early saturdays and watch it and talk
about it like as seven eight year olds whatever it was yeah there's nothing like that anymore and then that i bet people now like young people now probably think the simpsons is fucking
horseshit because they don't even know there was that there was a simpsons before like the last
20 years like the simpsons has been a bad show for 20 years 20 plus years it's been a shit show
every every time i rewatched simpsons i've
said this before i get to like season eight and i'm like i'm always thinking it drops off so fast
between eight and ten and then and then you get to like 10 it's like this is still pretty good
then you get to 11 and 12 and it's like oh now i remember why i stopped watching around these times
like you see the characters change a bit.
Like, they've ruined their reputation, kind of, among young people.
Like, they're a joke of a show.
They're a total joke of a show.
They're just a slot filler at this point. I don't know how it stays on the air.
It's terrible.
It's genuinely embarrassing.
I will not watch a New Simpsons clip.
It's embarrassing.
If you did want to watch New Simpsons, where would you find it?
Disney. Yeah, Disney has season one all the way through current. Okay. it's embarrassing if you did want to watch new simpsons where would you find disney yeah disney
has season one all the way through current okay so disney plus does yeah but yeah it's easy to
forget how good it was of a show back in the day yeah i'm really liking it uh i i um it really was
big back then though like bart simpson was a celebrity you know as weird as that sounds i
just watched the one um Bart discovers a comet,
and turns out it's heading towards Springfield, and it's going to destroy it.
And Ned,
of course, has a bomb shelter.
He's the only one with a
bomb shelter, and Homer shows up, and he's
like, Planters, get out of there! We need your shelter!
I'm kind of
using it, Homer, but...
Yeah, Homer, I did pray diddly-pair for this, and you didn't.
I thought this might come up, so I made enough room for both of us.
And Homer's like, no deal.
Get out.
He's like, all right, I'll share.
And the whole, every main character, like Dr. Hibbert and everybody shows up and jumps in there,
and there's not enough room for them to close the door
so Ned gets kicked out
somehow
like Krusty's in there
and then Ned sings K-Saraz
he's preparing to die
whatever will be will be
yeah it's
it used to be a really good show
King of the Hill was just as good I thought
I never understood why it wasn't as popular.
It didn't have...
It was just a different kind of comedy.
It was that sort of dry...
Yeah.
Definitely an older brand of comedy.
Homer's supposed to be like 35, 36 or something, I think.
Mm-hmm.
I think so is Hank Hill, but he feels ancient.
Hank Hill is like an old man who's 30.
Yeah, he's like the the 40 year
old boomer or however old he's supposed to be 38 i think they're both supposed to be like late 30s
or something but yeah they're just different like king of the hill slice of life not going to be as
off the wall goofy i like that the simpsons had a good sex life too because uh and king of the hill
like they shake hands at their wedding or whatever they have this very passionless and there's love
but nope i don't know there's definitely no lust.
But Marge is like,
hey, homie, it's been a while
since we've snuggled.
Homer, it's been too long
since you put it in my ass.
Pretty much, yeah.
She's like, you need to set some time aside to take care of me.
There was one time
Mr. Burns was going to destroy Homer.
And she's like, I wish I could do the accent but like when all a man wants is an occasional snuggle it's really hard
to destroy him yeah you can't take that away because he's just got because commerce has no
expectations for life as long as he gets sick wet now and then he's a happy guy and it's not wrong
and the celebrity uh guest spots are always really good.
I like Patrick Stewart.
He's on there occasionally.
He was the head stonecutter.
He was number one.
I watched the stonecutter episode.
That's such a good one.
He destroys the fucking ancient scrolls.
He just keeps making it. He destroys the fucking ancient scrolls and just keeps making it.
If you destroy the ancient scroll,
may your stomach expand
and your hair be stricken
but all but three hairs.
I was like, I think he should
have to take a different
vow than the rest of us.
We all take the same oath.
We all take the same oath.
Taylor, what is your single favorite Simpsons episode?
What do you got?
Oh, man.
I got mine.
Hank Scorpio.
Mr. Plow is one of my favorites.
Hank Scorpio is a great one.
That's a good one.
You say yours, Woody.
There's so many.
It was the Scorpio one.
Hank Scorpio, is that it?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Where Homer gets hired by that crazy
James Bond villain who turns out to be such a cool guy yeah it's such a fun ball Homer you know
it really helped me if you killed someone on the way out pick up that gun you know that kind of
you kill us he's like throwing grenades he's like you know what Homer it's devastating to be
devastating but I'm gonna wish you the best the best the absolute best love your family love them have a great time like this yeah that's a great episode too
that's a really good one uh homer at the bat is one of my favorites that's like season four where
homer's uh the softball team the mr burns nuclear power plant softball team they're losing to like
the police agents or whatever and so mr burns is
like smithers i'm going to hire nine different professional athletes and smithers is like uh
mr burns what's going to happen if uh nine injuries occur mr burns like oh heavens three
injuries perhaps five an outside chance seven entirely possible nine nine what's he saying uh nine misfortunes oh i'd like to see that
and then it goes through like nine misfortunes of all the different guys doing daryl strawberry
what i do now one of them like gets addicted to like some 1920s tonic that gives them gigantism
something like that very very good episode homer at the Bat I don't know if that would be
my all time favorite but
there's just so many good episodes
I think my I know
Homer Badman that's I should have said that one
Homer Badman where Homer gets accused
of sexual harassment
because he pulls
that gummy off of
oh like that woman's
ass yeah
isn't there one where homer and uh
marge discover having sex in public and how hot it is yeah yeah i was just a golf course
and a mini golf i think involved yeah they get trapped in there and they're like bangs are in
the windmill or something like i think it's like they're fucking in the
windmill and like ned flanders being annoying it's like rod's like dad my ball didn't come out
of the windmill he's like hell rod let's go in there and take a look he goes down and like is
like trying to get his eye in there and like homer's like putting his very good that's a good
i do like that they have a good romantic life doesn't seem like they would because homer's
much grosser than marge yeah definitely marge is always working out like you see marge doing
aerobics all the time uh i when um when barney got like obese she was the one who worked him
back into shape they're like jazzercising together um no it's great i like having it all on disney it's
it definitely it makes disney a bit more worthwhile um i've also been catching up on the
mandalorian i hadn't watched the third season i'd been just kind of annoyed at some of the previews
i'd seen with jack black but i watched it and i'm like halfway through the season and it's good it's
good enough it's okay they they should have stopped when they got
grogu to the jedi that was their house of cards knock on the table moment where oh we can just
end it right here and we're good but they're gonna keep squeezing that shit like like they've got a
whole crazy star wars slate coming where the soca gets a show everybody's getting a show and uh but
but but this has been okay so grogu's fucking cute ah cute. Ahsoka is the female Jedi who has two swords.
She was a main character in the Clone Wars.
Yeah, they're kind of like tentacles.
They're like the weird things coming out of her head.
Is that a main character in the Star Wars world?
In the Clone Wars?
Just from the movies, I always thought she was kind of like a background,
just kind of to show how many types of Jedis there are.
The Clone Wars expands upon her tremendously like tremendously clone wars is really good uh
the animated stuff and uh she's she's anakin skywalker's padawan the one he trains and uh so
she's she does a lot of cool stuff if you watch the animated stuff which i do like i've heard the
animated stuff is good i i've heard people tell me that animated batman series from like the early 2000s
late 90s was good yeah you never watched the original batman like like oh my god that that
was my that was one of my since i was like going up like i after like pokemon and a little ninja
turtles like i really didn't watch any more cartoons that uh no it was good i guess um i i
don't even know what it's called to me it, it was just Batman. But Batman of the animated series with Mark Hamill as the Joker was the Batman.
That's what I think of when I think Batman.
Like, that's Batman to me.
And then I also watched the animated Spider-Man.
But again, as a kid, you couldn't keep the episodes in order.
And so many of them are two-parters.
Do you remember trying to watch Dragon Ball Z as a kid on Saturdays where it'd be
like up next
you know it'd be like Piccolo
and Goku or whatever
and it's like
they're right about to fight and then
it goes to the next episode and they were never in
order and so it was just total
schizophrenic
trying to piece together this world
it's like okay what is what's happening here i
never really followed along that closely but i liked all the fighting and bright colors as a
kid of dragon ball z the mandalorian's got some cute shit they uh they put grogu essentially in
a robot so he's in a mech suit now and uh the the mandalorian is like he puts him he puts him in
there to see if he'll fit.
He's like, all right, get back out of there.
And he's got two buttons.
One says yes, and one says no.
And he goes, no.
And he starts walking.
Ka-dum, ka-dum, ka-dum.
No, no, no, no.
Holy shit.
It's pretty cool,
because every now and then he'll show up
and just pull people apart with his robot arms
and just be real violent about it.
So that's fun.
And the little
baby Yoda thing never stops being cute
to me. I can't. What do you think?
It looks like one of those things that sticks to the
inside of your car like a puppet. But to me
it's really fucking good. It does look like a puppet.
He looks so
over the top silly fake to me that
I
like how is everyone just pretending
this thing is not super fake? the two episodes of Mandalorian I
watched of season one it was jarring seeing little baby Yoda can you pull up a picture
the last scene I watched of that no the last scene I remember actually no this is like episode one
when he like fights that rhino or some shit yeah the mud hole that was fucking retarded I
didn't watch anymore get
the fuck out of here you're terrible that's a great show that was a good fucking episode too
when he fucking beat that mudhorn that was nice gay now i watched the show when i was a kid you'd
really like it it it was like a variety show and there were two men in the balcony who would like
complain about the show they were watching uh They'd sell the Muppets.
Yeah. I like those guys.
What was your name?
There's a Swedish chef
involved. It's a great show.
It does flip now.
That's a way better show than this bullshit.
It can jump and do acrobatics
and flip now. I like that scene where Baby Yoda
makes that tasty meal and he goes
I learned more about life.
It's great when Baby Yoda keeps fouling up these scientific experiments they're trying to make.
I think it's great that he lives with an alternative lifestyle partner, Bert,
and they sleep in the same bed.
We didn't watch that growing up.
That was a bad influence.
Your parents would
let you watch it, but then when like Bert
and Ernie came on, he was like,
no, no, no, no.
I genuinely didn't watch it. I don't know what channel.
I guess PBS or something, but I've never seen
an episode of Sesame Street. I don't know what that
I mean, I know what it's about because it's like
a thing. Yeah, a cultural thing.
I know all those characters you're naming just
because I've caught like tidbits on i i was baffled even as a child why oscar the grouse couldn't improve his housing
situation yeah drug use probably yeah probably oscar the meth head should have been called
i did like that like during that show the some often the puppet would be like we need to be
friendly to oscar and then like a person would be like, Oscar's a grouch.
You don't want to go around a grouch, do you?
And they'd be like, oh, I guess not.
And it'd be like, you're like learning that like, oh, Oscar's made his own bed.
Allow him to sleep in it.
Like pretty much.
You're right.
He's a disgusting animal.
Like he lives in a toilet. You see how Oscar's green? That's how you can's a disgusting animal. He lives in a toilet.
You see how Oscar's green?
That's how you can spot a grouch.
By the color of the skin.
I learned a lot of really good lessons.
See how we're all sort of yellow and orange?
Those are good colors.
Remember this, children.
You see how I'm a person?
And you are a disgusting puppet.
Did they wash those things?
The Cookie Monster was a bit of a thief, right?
Are blue people thieves?
The Cookie Monster was an absolute thief.
He just was very segmented in his...
He could be...
He could guard the Hope Diamond as long
as there wasn't an Auntie Anne or something.
Yeah, Oscar the Grouch.
He was one of the characters I enjoyed in Sesame Street.
I liked Mr. Rogers way more than Sesame Street as a kid.
I loved Mr. Rogers.
Why did you like Mr. Rogers?
Because Mr. Rogers is a bit of a slow burn, and six-year-old Woody couldn't tolerate that.
It was an absolute slow burn.
I liked the train track a lot that he would ride around the town.
I liked the song he would sing when he took his shoes off and he came in.
I liked – I'm like five.
This is all good shit.
Taking his shoes off.
Model trains are cool.
Taylor's right.
I think we need to get into giant model trains and devote more energy towards that.
We should.
The people who are into trains are cool because that is someone who genuinely does not care about what people think about them.
I do like trains.
There are a ton of people like that, Taylor.
There are ghouls everywhere with disgusting, filthy, stupid, moronic hobbits.
You could be a real train conductor.
So easy.
So easy.
At least take the little step of going to the mall and operating the one the kids get in or something.
But no, you've got this dirty little fucking choo-choo in your garage that might as well be.
But my wife doesn't fuck me express round and round she goes smell the
fake smoke from my childhood that came out of the chemicals just the nose singe of the morning of
trainery dude model trains are badass they're really cool i i i wonder if you can get them
with real engines now like i want mine
to have a combustion engine as an adult i would i would imagine you'd get bored of it very quickly
scary uh i guess you would want a steam engine yeah boiler and all yeah you could definitely
get that it doesn't seem like the hobby is even fully trains based on when you see the guys with
the like those giant setups because They're doing a whole landscape.
Landscaping seems like it's almost
more of it than the actual train
part because it's like there's a set
place for the train. Really, it's just
they want the train to look neat as it's
going through the mountains
or a beach side. Some of those are going to be like
$5,000, I bet. This one
was only $160. On
sale from $170, so i have to buy it you gotta get
it yeah it's it's a fax yet i'm a i'm a freestyle train guy set it up so i can bring you your coffee
just go across the harvard floor just go wherever the fuck it goes it goes
ruining your beautiful home
oh my god i had
a memory of childhood to be four years old and we went to this place and they had a choo-choo train
along the ceiling like it's on it's on the wall but up high by the ceiling and it was all the way
around and as a kid that blew me away that's in home alone too as i think about it now like i'm
i've still got that four-year-old brain that's it's like neat but then the me brain
is like that's not neat for your brain just things blow what are you gonna do touch it
like what did you want if somebody had held me up so i could have touched it it would have made my
life just let you made my life knock it oh speaking of trains fucking snow piercer season
four is supposed to be the final season if you didn't see the end of season three the train gets there's two trains one of them derails and finds a pocket
of earth that that melts that's like melty and we can live there maybe and then the other rest
of them are still living under like i don't know blue mutants and uh the uh sean beans um like iron
fist and they're like all right next season we'll wrap it all up.
They filmed the whole last season.
One of our patrons
worked on the production. He sent his
behind the scenes photos.
Yeah.
Of working on it. It's wrapped.
It's in the can. It's ready to press
upload and be out there.
But it's better financially
for Warner Brothers Discovery
to never use it and to write the whole thing off
as a big loss for them.
It was the last scripted thing that the Warner Discovery had.
It's the last one.
It is officially canceled.
I guess no one will ever see it.
It's a real shit show.
It sucks.
I've never heard of that happening.
They also canceled, if you remember, Batgirl, the movie.
That's another one of those things.
They filmed a whole Batgirl movie, and they were like, nah.
Yeah, that's funny.
There's a certain business acumen that I respect about it.
Me, as a bad poker player, if I put $ put 60 in the pot i might pay to see your cards
it's not the smart move if i think i'm gonna lose i should probably fold most of it you know
whatever i'm not a poker guy to talk about this enough but these guys put a lot of money in this
movie the movie's made the movie's ready to upload and they're like what we're just gonna throw good money after bad fuck it that's upsetting it's hard to fold when you're that deep into the pot
yeah that's that is uh it doesn't show but snow piercers in that situation is just never gonna
come out yeah and that's never coming out they're done with that that's uh that that was uh upsetting
because i think last night or the night before, I was just
Googling all my favorite shows to see,
when's a new season coming? When's
Invincible coming? Early next
year. Alright, fuck. When's
For All Mankind coming? Late this
year. Alright, fuck.
I kind of went down the list of all my favorite shows
and the best that I'm going to come up with
is late this year. Thank God you have the same season.
You know what I really, really want that's early next year?
Three body problems coming to Netflix.
Really?
Yeah.
Netflix.
I agree.
I agree.
But I'm so...
I need a refresher on how that book went.
It's a very complicated story.
But I really want to see it in a show now there's a good youtuber for it um
oh i bet i'd enjoy it he's a black guy with a white people voice really yeah black guy white
people it's not common i added that in the search it'll get me there yeah It'll get me there. Yeah, I watch him a good bit.
He does a lot of sci-fi reviews.
It's not a guy we've had on our show.
It's just a guy you watch.
No, it's a guy that I watch.
His name's Quinn's Ideas.
That's the name of his YouTube channel, Quinn's Ideas.
Well, now you know.
Quinn's Ideas.
There's one out there is interested in
three body problem
yeah
because you talked about it
he's doing it live right now
I think the trailer dropped
really recently he's a live show
talking about three body problem
now you know where you're going to be in 45 seconds
45 seconds
damn
sometimes it sneaks up on you.
I'm already there.
I wanted to hear if you sounded white.
He does, right?
I see it.
Very educational.
So educational.
I'm so glad I have these nuggets
in my head.
Kyle keeping me present on all things important.
I guess it's time to wrap.
Yeah, I'm going to go make that fish.
I can't wait to talk about Joe Rogan
and Robert F. Kennedy Jr.
and all that crazy shit because it's great.
Y'all should
read up on that a little bit before PKA.
I might be caught up.
I have not watched that episode.
Do I have to watch the whole episode?
Nah, you just get the highlights.
I'll watch that. I'll be up on it for I think the real action happens on Twitter yeah I've seen some beef and that's fine okay and for