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PKN 463. What's up boys? Hello there. How's everybody doing? Doing alright. Just doing solid. On this wonderful 4th of July. Taylor did you. Oh yeah. Please I'm living vicariously through you. Tell me you cook some stupid amount of meat on a smoker grill or. Not today. No I. I was counting on you. You know what there's still time. There's still time. I can go and pick up some ribs after this.
No, not for smoking.
He'll be ready for July 5th.
It'll be done for like midnight tonight.
No, I went to a buddy's 4th of July party down at a river on Saturday,
and I did plenty of eating of unhealthy meats and shit like that then
and some beers and whatnot.
I'm going to try and be decently good today
on the real 4th in honor of
all of our presidents and all of our
wars, all of our victories.
I'm going to get some Chinese food maybe.
I don't know why.
Are you supposed to eat hot dogs and hamburgers
on 4th of July? That's such a slap in the face
of those hard-working, starving
soldiers who lived
on hardtack and salt meat as they
fought for our freedom. You're supposed to eat whatever you want
on 4th of July. Definitely not
Chinese. That's like,
especially currently,
treasonous. No, it's
American to eat as much MSG as you want.
How about Korean if I split the difference?
What are you, picking all the people who've gone to war with
have some sauerkraut, you fucking Nazis.
You don't want to have hot dogs and hamburgers.
Ah, yes, hamburgers.
The official meal of the Nazis.
Stop it.
I don't want to be wrong.
I mean, we've had a lot of wars.
If we start cutting...
Do they have commercials like that?
And you know how they had...
You can see old stuff of the Nazis being like the official cigarette
of the Nazi party
like I bet there were ads
for like burgers back then where it's
like oh the big muck
I need lots of energy to invade
France what will I eat
I will have a big muck for just
two wubenschnudels or whatever
currency we can get
Reich mucks
it will last at least another
eight years.
I say a thousand, but at least eight.
Oh, the Blitzkrieg burger.
The meal on the go.
Oh my god.
I kind of want to go to Kyle's Nazi restaurant.
Stun your opponents
into surrender with the blitzkrieg
burger
the blitzkrieg burger
blitzkrieg
the blitzkrieg burger is ready before you are
they say the blitzkrieg burger isn't
so fast it can storm all the way to
Paris in a month
but it can with the blitzkrieg
burger
not available to Jews in a month, but it's canned with the Blitzkrieg burger.
Not available to Jews.
Damn.
Now we've added pork, because fuck you.
Definitely
no kosher options at the Blitzkrieg burger.
Everything's got fucking pig skin and pork in it.
I bet pork rinds
are an excellent snack
that get shit on too much.
I'm packing salt all about. You on too much. I'm packing.
What's kosher salt all about?
You bless the salt.
Make it fancy.
No, it's not true.
I mean, that's part of it, but there's another part of it. It's like rock salt or something.
I know that I learned kosher salt and sea salt doesn't have iodine in it.
Well, you can get the iodine, right?
You want iodine.
You want iodine. Apparently, everybody's short on iodine in it well you can get them right you want iodine you want you want iodine apparently it's
really apparently everybody's short on iodine it's one of those things that like we don't get
not me enough of and are you eating seaweed the japanese i've got my iodized time yeah my special
iodized salt i'm all good i i'm packing for a big for the move so no july 4th celebrations for me i
actually threw away a bag of pork rinds I found in the cabinet.
I asked this before.
How far away is your move, like in minutes?
I guess it depends how fast you're moving.
A light jog?
What kind of vehicle, maybe?
Are you walking?
Yeah, there's a lot of, you you know with traffic ah like 30 minutes or
something like that just other side of town uh just i like it better there it shouldn't be uh
any procrastination or are you looking around at boxes you know and the tapes on there and
you're just waiting for the truck to show up or are you gonna have that like are you gonna have
that wild panic tonight of do so yeah i've got four
movers a gigantic truck i just have to have everything in boxes and uh it's 90 done the
remaining stuff it's like i'm not gonna pack up my coffee maker until the last minute it's shit
like that um there are boxes that need to be taped together but that's because i'm waiting on tape to
be delivered right now uh and then the cleanup, like the going
around and picking up wrappers and fucking
broken toothpicks that fell during the
couch move and shit like that.
Just junk off the floor. That's the
real time-consuming thing.
Because everything else is pretty packed up, except
for this. All this is sitting right here.
All of this shit goes to the lab. Since we're done here,
I imagine him pointing to
19 empty soda
cans like except this this is the same as it always is except for my pepsi zero collection
i'm bringing that with me i got a dumpster last week and i got every bit of trash um that could
be gotten out of the house like out because i'm just every time i move there's i'm not bringing
you you're going to the you're going
out of here like stuff socks get thrown at old shoes and shit got rid of a couch uh moving on
to couch 2.0 i'm gonna get this uh this like pit couch it's like it's it's um it's like a big cube
on the floor it's it's as deep as it is wide um so the dog's gonna fucking love that it's gonna be
just beautiful i um I think I got
leather. I think I did.
I don't really remember buying a bunch of
things this week for the new house.
I'm pretty excited, though. This is going to be the easiest
move I've had in a while because I do have
the movers. It's not even that expensive.
You said you had four people, but I didn't
gather if they were professionals.
Four people is horse shit.
That's like your buddy and his wife and like a kid who doesn't want to be there they're gonna be late they'll instantly
criticize how much you put into boxes oh dude there's like there it is so similar to any form
of group work in school every time you go to help someone move and there's like a group of four guys
it is baked into the cake that one guy will
not touch anything and another guy will mostly socialize with that guy sometimes putting a hand
on it and then of the two remaining movers one of them is doing it begrudgingly because he doesn't
want to be affiliated with the two lazies and the other one is i want this to be done as fast as
possible there's always one competent fast as possible guy the fastest possible guy is not
always the best guy for the job i'll get that he gets a lot of work done but he creates a lot of
stress and trouble as well yeah well if you're let's say this if you're moving woody and i'm
helping you move and kyle's the let's get it done guy i'm a fan of kyle you as the person having
your shit moved want someone being more careful.
But me as the mover is like, yeah, Kyle's.
Yeah.
Okay.
Bangs that into the corner of the wall there.
Whatever.
I can line up with that.
But I don't want the fastest possible guy who's just fussing and not happy that things aren't going faster.
Like that guy's got a social problem.
We all got to stay calm during a movie.
You know what I don't like? I don't like the girl that tries to be the guy that's my least favorite mover i got
this and it's like yeah yeah listen sweetheart your job is to organize people every time you
see someone to carry a box you tell them what room it goes to you're gonna have vastly improved
unpacking experience if you have everyone put the box there, if every box goes in the dining room,
which is what's going to happen if you carry a fucking lampshade,
because that's all you're capable of carrying,
then this isn't going to be a good move.
Instead, direct traffic, it'll be so much better.
Yeah, direct traffic and unbox.
Take care of the nitpicky stuff.
I would so much rather deal with five minutes of horrible annoyance,
getting a couple bruises on my
forearms with a really heavy couch than unbox shit and put it away for an hour.
And I think every man would rather do that.
Would you rather sit there and like open up the fucking.
I hate that part.
Yeah, I've been on both ends of really bad moves.
My buddy Sergei, when I was a kid, I was like 19 or 20.
It was like, oh, yeah, you come help me move.
And I was like, yeah, I'll come help you move.
And me and another guy went over there, and we worked all day, so hard.
He had this oak furniture, this heavy shit.
It kept reminding me of that scene in Pulp Fiction where he's like,
you like oak, Jimmy?
It's the densest wood on earth.
Oh, my God.
And he was he was uh ukrainian so he had like
he had this ornate dining table that i assume had some religious significance
like it looks like stained it looked too fancy for him yeah and and you had to carry it so
carefully there was crystals jiggling inside of things then the other time was when I moved out here to Atlanta.
Um,
and Eric from Iraq veteran eight,
eight,
eight,
eight,
eight, eight.
And,
his cameraman,
Chad came here and,
and they brought another guy who I don't remember,
but,
but they worked so fucking hard for me all goddamn day.
I know I compensated them somehow,
but I don't think Eric would take money.
Like they worked so hard.
It was all day.
They drove the truck. all day they drove the truck
they they brought the truck to me and then drove it to the place uh eric's a great guy he's gonna
call in that favor he's gonna have a giant mansion that needs like a pool table moved
i mean i guess i'll show up well i need to come
no hey you owe me one every once in a while when you're moving shit do you get annoyed
because you don't feel like the other person realizes how heavy what you're dealing with on
your end is like i had to help a friend move a pool table and it was a nine foot
and not if you don't know pool tables come in like like seven feet like
seven and a half eight foot like all the way like yeah although it's like nine feet and nine feet
is a big boy and he bought a nine foot pool table with like the slate like where it's got really
high quality slate under it and he told me like yeah they're dropping it off in my front yard and so i went and met up
in his house and there's like stairs to get up to his house and it is i see it sitting there
and it's i almost laugh looking at it it's the it's the heaviest object it's assembled ever seen
it's it's no there's no it's just a full table there's no legs on it just the table part
the legs had to be put on does it have that um i don't that that skirting along the side that's
sort of decorative to hide the pockets and stuff so that you can't grab it from the underneath yes
yeah and it's like the whole time it's not like it's not like all right we picked up a bullshit
pool table from walmart kind of get it in there it's like this is a really nice pool table you can't jitter it you can't mess with it you don't want to the pockets are all ornate
the slate under it is like the highest quality densest how did you do it uh it slowly slowly
and it was what did you grab it was maybe we grabbed the like flat area in between the like
in the middle so it was almost balancing too and trying to move it up
here and he's a he's a uh at the time he was personal training he's a very fit guy and so
he and i were our strongest friends and it took the two of us like 30 minutes of like barely moving
it and having to stop barely i don't know cuts on my hands from like the amount of pressure it was it was i have never like been
more emotionally torn up after moving something physically because there was a time where we got
it like part of the way up the the stairs and he was like stopping on his end i was at the bottom
like we can't stop we can't like because it's like gonna fall on me and i was like trying to
move it up it was the most you're not supposed to move those like that so i've got i don't know if mine is nine feet you're supposed to hire
someone to move a pool table you have to it was gonna be it's like a seven foot pool table like
a small bullshit walmart one like i have even those he's like got a fucking training well not
the walmart one yeah so i've got a slate pool table i don't know the length i don't remember
that but it's it's longer than six for sure.
I know it's longer than I am.
And I,
I had that thing assembled in my shop and then it had been sitting there for
like three weeks.
And I was like,
Oh,
it's time to put a machine in pool tables right in the way.
So I had to pay a second time for the professional pool man to come.
He disassembles the thing.
He defaults it.
You know, that felt is tucked in and tightly. He disassembles the thing. He defelts it.
That felt is tucked in and tightly pulled into the corners perfectly.
Felt comes off.
The slate is in three pieces.
It's a three-piece thing.
Each piece of slate weighs like 100 pounds.
How far did he move it for this?
You said it was in the way.
50 feet.
50 feet.
Had to do all that, huh?
Because if you reached under it,
you would start applying pressure to pick it up
and you could feel the skirting breaking
with the pressure of your hands.
And we're not even close to lifting.
We're even close to lifting.
There's no way to just lay.
300 to 500 pounds, something like that.
Absolute nightmare.
That sucks.
If you're going to requisition
friends to move,
make sure that the fridge,
the pool table,
gym equipment.
Can you imagine
you go to move someone and they
have a lat pull-down machine?
Yeah, that's happening
tomorrow. I'm going home.
I would be too embarrassed to invite
for if i had to move to a new house and move all my gym stuff and everything i wouldn't allow
friends to help me i'd be like that's kind of you i don't want to waste your time like once you cross
30 you're not supposed to be moving you're like carrying your own shit anymore that should be in
the i am moving on in four days but it's not me it's hope who's moving
and she asked me to help that's like and like on one hand like i've been lifting weights for a
couple years i can kind of pick up heavy things on the other hand i'm 50 and my back always hurts
it's like you don't ask 50 year olds to help you move then everyone knows this who who's like who
do i know that'd be good for moving? Grandpa. That's not a...
I've got a counter.
I've got a counter.
In your physical prowess at 50.
So there's a number you can call.
I mean, there's an app even that lasts.
So I moved my shit by myself last time
because I thought it was a good idea.
And it was such a fucking nightmare
that I ended up having to call movers
just to unload the truck.
I was like, I'm not like i i was like i'm not
unloading that truck i'm not doing i can't maybe i might not be able to and and but but the number
on the side of the u-haul just got me in touch with people who were like yeah you ready now and
i'm like yeah i'm ready now where where are you because i just called an 800 number like we're
like five minutes away man you need us yeah both of you like you cash app
i'm like for sure they were there like lifting shit heavy shit and being careful you could
supervise guys like that yeah yeah that i when we moved into this house we did some um like
deconstruction on the stable it was hit by a tornado, so I had to throw stuff away and rebuild it. Cool. Well, there's a big pile of debris,
and I hired these two guys. It was like two guys in a dumpster, and they
come. One of the guys is just jacked, stronger
than I could ever possibly be. And I was like, dude,
you look like you're built for picking shit up. Apparently
that's the
most racist thing you can say actually what he said was you look like you were bred for it
he looked at his friend and i was like i just mean you're strong and they're like all right honky
you know i just like went to work but You shouldn't have been wearing that plantation owner's hat.
Chewing on a piece of straw.
They didn't mind that because it was sunny.
My God, I ain't never seen somebody whole or dry
the way you're doing it right now, boy.
It was sunny out.
They didn't mind the hat.
It was the whip.
It was the whip that turned them off.
After you finish dropping off that dry,
bring me something cool to drink
A little lemonade
A little lemonade
You're snapping at them
I'm getting the vapors
I'm getting the vapors
They were like are there any snakes in this pile of debris
And I was like
I can't say for sure there's not
Well number one, speak when
spoken to now. Number two...
Don't you hate when people don't
have a sense of humor? Because I would have
wanted to be like, oh yeah, and make
sure you catch them. Don't let them get away.
There should be eight. There should be eight.
You can come back with seven.
We gotta have words.
There should be eight. Don't let any slip.
You know what you should have done?
Next time they came up carrying something,
you should have been like,
well, well, well,
if it isn't the fucking toothpick twins
with their little legs and their...
Dude.
Hey, do you guys want to put that down?
I don't want you to hurt yourself.
Let me get a couple of girls.
I just turned down a couple of cookie boxes.
Let me see if I can grab her.
I told him to say big guys.
He was built like a silverback gorilla he was just
his arms were long his biceps were huge and he hated when you said that didn't he
it was when you started rubbing his shit his sloped forehead he didn't care for it yeah
it's not this fabric i was trying to bond with him when i picked up my poop and threw it but he didn't get the joke man yeah i would do that like uh i'm never gonna move my shit again i was
talking to scum about this he's doing a a move of of one kind or another and i was like dude you
why are you moving your shit he's like you know what at some point you just have enough money for
movers and and then that that switch doesn't flip in your head but it has now kyle thank you i don't have to move my shit anymore yeah you don't because
it's not even that expensive it's like a grand rich like a grand and now you don't hurt yourself
is hope at uh is she at the phase where it's real deal furniture you'd have to move like a nice
couch this or is it like from an apartment yeah like she has a desk
in particular that's really heavy but like it
it's a desk that I bought her years
like I think when we bought this house I got her a nice
desk and that's going with her
um
uh yeah there's a mix there's like
some bullshit she's she's grabbing
a couch that we used as a
like outside on the porch type
couch and it's sitting in the stable
right now and I guess it's clean and she's like
if you're not using it we could
we could use that
cool so that weighs nothing
but then other stuff weighs a ton
yeah just when you're helping people move like
out of apartments that phase
was easy because it'd be like we got to move
my couch and it's like that's a futon
move my dressers this way is we're gonna this is gonna shatter when we lift it dude like this is
these all of these things are held together with the cam locks
i had that happen like just like trying to move like out of my old apartment one of those like
tall ikea bullshit slat ones literally i took so little
time to assemble it that the back had been on incorrect like on reverse the whole time i like
went to like move it and the whole thing fell like a prop like like a breakaway board because
there was like if you don't have books or anything on there everything had been removed like you
don't realize like the weight of the books or board games or whatever that's what's actually
holding that up the weight of the things on it you You take that off and you move it and it just accordion style.
It just falls off.
Kitty and I bought two of those Ikea desks forever ago because we were just, we need two desks now.
God, terrible decisions. We put those bitches together and I remember one of them.
I can't remember how. I think I spilled a drink on it. Like a big drink.
And that just ruined it.
Like it got wet.
It turned into like
degraded the structural
integrity of the whole desk after that.
It was soggy now.
It just soaked it up
like a sponge.
I was like, is it going to be super hot
when I move her? No.
Rain. It's going to be
real deal rain on Saturday.
That's the worst.
That's the worst. Rain's bad.
Slippery then. Yeah, I'd hire movers for sure.
I think it's mover time.
Tell them you do not want anything to get wet.
Here's a roll of paper towels.
Put it over anything that might get exposed to air.
Now you've got umbrella hats for all of them.
I'm sorry.
I didn't know I called Tsunami Steve's moving company because all my stuff's ruined.
Kick them out.
Moving.
I thought I was done with that.
Nope.
Nope.
You're never done.
Just keep on coming back for more.
I usually, my dad never helped me move.
I think he was mad the first time I moved.
And the second or third time I moved, it was always something.
I either had help, but he's never assisted in one of those
moves he's got an off easy you wouldn't think to ask my father like he's always he always worked
really hard you know yeah i bet he averages like 100 hours a week you're gonna ask that guy to
carve out some time to move you like carry shit carry shit? I just don't want to inconvenience mine. All his free time is reading about Israel.
And the other thing is,
when I do call him and I need a favor,
I want it to be a rare occurrence.
So he's like, oh yeah,
hell, it's been years since you've asked for anything.
I want it to be hard to turn me down when I need something.
It'll be like, hey dad,
I need you to go to the tag office for me
and do some paperwork
so I don't have to drive five hours today.
Oh, yeah.
I'm on the way now.
Do you know how the tag works?
Oh, absolutely.
Dad bailed me out.
Yeah, yeah.
He was the one to get.
There's a few ways to do that.
But I think what he did was sign a property something or another, like making your property collateral.
But a bail bondsman, I think you only have to pay them 10% of your bail, which I guess they keep, which seems weird.
It's my understanding that, and I bet you know this too, you can pay a bail bondsman 10% and then he pays the court the other 90 and gets it back when you attend the trial.
Or you can pay 100% if you're the kind of guy who has that money laying around and then you get it all back when you attend trial.
I think putting the property up allowed for that scenario.
I think that was the deal.
A property bond.
Maybe that's what it was called.
In any case.
There's kind of a movement to get rid of cash bail they feel like it's unfair towards the poor and part of me is
like i get it you know you get hit for whatever pot possession now you're in jail for a few days
if you can't come up with any cash you might be in jail for weeks months i don't know why you get
it now you're like super broke this is you, you've lost your job. Potentially.
What I haven't heard is the alternative.
Like,
all right,
we do need a system to make sure that people go to their court dates.
What is,
what do you want to move to?
If it's all about the money,
nobody who has a job can't make bail.
Nobody who has a job can't make bail because like you just laid out,
it's 10% of 10% that you need, right? I you just laid out it's 10 of 10 that you need
right i think it's like 10 of the bail that you need oh well oh well after the fact right yeah
you do need 10 but like my bill is ten thousand dollars you know with like three or four charges
right yeah you can imagine a world where people don't have a grand right all right all right i
bet that's probably a pretty high what kyle had to deal with compared to most people i don't know i don't know now i bet if it's violent crimes i bet i bet 25 50 and
like crazy stuff but i think for most like d1's different a dui usually cost about 10 grand 8 to
10 grand flat just just know you're going in it's going to cost you 8 to 12 000 what you just did
to yourself everybody i ask they're like 8 $8,000, $9,000,
$10,500. Who gets that?
Is that the attorney's fee?
Just the whole thing wrapped up between the attorneys
and the fines or whatever they end up paying.
They're going to get the $10,000 one way or the other.
Maybe you can go in and defend yourself.
They fine you $10,000.
Or you can pay a lawyer $5,000 and they'll fine you $5,000.
I think it ends up
one way or another costing around.
You mentioned the tag. that you jersey it's really high they they the billboards are like average dui problems around here are 20 grand it's they do that here but 10
grand is more yeah 10 grand is more than 20 and in new jersey is a firm warning here you made me
think of uh my car tag my plates when when you're talking about the tag office.
What is the longest you guys have ever gone with expired tags?
I don't want to say my total.
Wait, what?
Two years.
Okay, so 24 months from Woody.
Kyle, hit me with it.
woody kyle hit me with it i went from like roughly 20 not 2019 until like i got out of prison
no it was a it was a long time it i don't think i don't think i hit two years i don't think i hit
like two full calendar years i was definitely two cycles out of place yeah when this happened to me before you go i two years and then a cop gave me a ticket in
a parking lot like in front of a game stop or something he saw my truck with expired tag on it
he gave me a ticket anyway this is at a time where on youtube i got doxxed constantly everybody was
doxxing me and d-dossing me, and I got all that attention.
And so suddenly my Twitter is getting lit up like,
trouble with the po-po, Woody?
And I'm like, inspection.
It just needs inspection.
This isn't what you think it is.
You afraid of the emissions, man?
What's the deal?
Yeah, I have.
My plates expired in january of 20 so we have a winner so three months before
that whole covid thing kicked off my plates expired and i i renewed them last wednesday Wednesday. So I made it 44 months or so without having
plates. It was
there was no penalty.
I was blown
away. I went
to the place and I was like,
well, I haven't paid the past
whatever year of property tax on my car
because I didn't get this fucking done.
And so I went in there thinking like there's going to be a
penalty. They were like, all right right here's the two years of property tax you have to
pay no penalty they like offered that the woman there at the government center just offered it
no penalty and i was like blown away but yeah i've now driving the past week i'm re-acclimating
to not hard scoping my like rear view mirror because i've spent the last three
years being like there's a cop way back there i need to i need to be in this left lane but not
for another four miles i'm gonna get in front of this van you know make sure that i'm protected so
i've been playing a lot of defensive driving for yeah from behind with cops and now i feel i feel
free i've got a i got a placard around my plate and it covers 95 of the sticker
you know that i'm sure they are everywhere it's different color every fucking year yeah you don't
have green you're running around with a green tag i circled back around i could my my color from
is the same color as the 25 sticker now oh my god and so i oh you got it too soon you were fine i knew that if i ever got
pulled over they'd be like 78 get real like like who what cop wouldn't give me a ticket for being
four years that's such a because it doesn't take that long to do it's just a 100 i hate going to
the dmv i kind of do it online online now. I have a trailer for eight years
with no registration or license plate.
Well, that's different trailers for sure.
Do you need them? I'll be honest.
My dad's had a trailer for 20 fucking years.
A lot of cops just
don't go hard on the whole trailer thing.
Especially if it's a farm thing.
Yeah.
You don't need it if you only use
it on your own farm but that's not my situation i mean like a bring it from the house to the guest
house like i mean like a trailer that when you look at your let's like it's like a rough and
ready trailer the fin oh he knocked the fenders out to make this drive they were bent down before
this like something you use twice a year because dad would do that with cattle he'd sell cattle maybe once a year sometimes twice a year he's not paying for a tag
on that fucking cattle trailer yeah the thing's sitting over there like a jungle gym like 95%
of the time so yeah but but i mine's not done right now i need a tag right now i didn't realize
when i got my yeah my tag's out right now um i didn't realize when i got my
new driver's license my motorcycle license uh i was licensed in a county one of like five in
georgia that require emissions and so now i gotta get fucking emissions and i'm so annoyed by the
emissions that that dad was like email me your title just sign your car over to me i'll get the
tag here where i live and it's the
same difference and i'm like yeah it is the same difference so i might just do that i'm so fucking
annoyed by having to go get emissions done i'd always heard of emissions but it's one of those
things i didn't know i knew what it was but i never understood why i didn't have to do it no
i was like you must have to get some kind of a real fancy car to need emissions.
Or maybe it was for big rig drivers.
But I'd never gotten emissions before.
And I don't even know if my car will pass.
I don't have any lights on or anything.
Your car probably...
I don't know.
I don't even know if I do emissions.
I get it inspected, but I don't watch them do it.
No, you don't.
All right, so I am a junior at this
but apparently you have to go to a place that says emissions on the side they hook this big
vacuum thing up to your tailpipe and and test you know your emissions you have to do it i thought
everybody had you've had to do it since 16 here five counties in georgia do that yeah new jersey
and then they they give you a sheet of paper afterward that says, like, you passed and that's it.
Not here.
Well, I mean, in those five counties, they do.
That's so stupid.
When I lived in Jersey, we had to do that.
New Jersey, you know what?
They had two options for getting your car inspected.
There was a convenient one where you took it to like a private mechanic and they would inspect it.
And they're incentivized to pass your shit so if you have a nice oh no if you have a shitty car or
maybe a car you damn well know it shouldn't pass like it's a lifted jeep you'd go to a mechanic
you'd pay them and then you'd pass or the state would inspect your car for free and the line's a
little longer and they don't cut you any slack but if you have a nice car
you get free inspection and that's there's a lot of exemptions you know for for like things made a
certain year and things um yeah of a certain variety or type off-road stuff i failed my
emissions test like every single time uh from like every license plate I had to get from like 20,
eight or 2014 to 2018.
I failed because of the price of 300.
Like it was so bad with emissions.
What I remember I had to do this,
I would go,
I'd take it in.
I'd go do the emissions test.
They'd come out and they'd go,
it didn't pass the emissions test.
What you need to do is go and get it up to
like 50 60 miles an hour for like 20 miles and then get it back here as soon as you can after
that like don't do any city driving and so like where this dealership was was like there was a
it's not a real highway but you know a road with like a 50 to 50 mile an hour speed limit.
And so I was just out there and it was in the pouring rain and I was like going like 65 miles an hour, like trying not to get pulled over for like for like 10 miles this way, 10 miles back like Curahee.
And then I I get back to the dealership and I'm like not even like hitting the decelerator.
Like I'm like trying to get there as fast as I can it's like maintaining the speed because apparently that matters and then i just
like went just like pulled right back in got out gave the guy the thing he's like all right he hops
in drives it down to the testing center test it again all right it passed and so i had to do that
at least three different times or at least this idea like bro that's like five dollars in gas
how about i give you five dollars and you stick it in that guy's tailpipe yeah
that should get us through about this you don't care about this i don't care about this
please you know the rules for motorcycles are interesting in north carolina
you need front turn signals and rear turn signals or no turn signals.
But if you have only front or rear, you will fail.
Those are your options.
That's stupid.
Yeah.
So like you're trying to convert a dirt bike or something.
Just rip all the turn signals out and you're good.
No, I like that.
That makes sense.
Why?
Well, we don't want some.
If I see your front one and just to start, I assume you've got them and then I'm going to get behind you
and you don't use them, I'll just hit you in the back
because you didn't use your turn signal.
I wasn't looking.
I don't want to be confused.
No.
That's true.
It also is going to get you away from place out.
And if you've got front ones, all of a sudden you get in this process
of like, oh, I don't need this signal.
They're in front of me.
But there was a guy behind you you didn't know about,
so he didn't signal your turn.
He was trying to overtake you because you were going slow and he crushes you i see the logic i just feel like if you require front and rear it doesn't
seem like the other alternative should be none at all fair i would want turn signals either way
though so people don't kill you i've got a lot of bikes on some the turn signals are great and i can kind of trust that people will see them the goldwing in particular they're as
prominent as a car oh shit but i have like a super moto you can't see that like my wife and
i will be driving around the subdivision she's 12 feet behind me and she can't see them they're
just they're only for inspection yeah that's no good do no good. Joey Chestnut won his 16th
Nathan's Hot Dog Championship.
Is he fat yet? He's not.
He's not fat. And he has an eater's mouth.
I saw him in Jubilation
afterward, and he does have a larger mouth
than average as far as his face shape.
Like that one monster from From, the one they killed.
No.
The guy has an odd face.
He has an odd face. I finished finished it but he's a professional eater so
good finished from yeah i powered my way through it last night the last 30 minutes of the 10th
episode fine fine i don't know why we need that one guy to go rogue and shoot our hero with a
shotgun out of nowhere it had no why do you guys forge ahead through shitty shows? I have 19 hours.
They needed one more out of me to close this chapter.
And there were some answers.
It wasn't a terrible episode.
I'm just not a fan of the show.
If I get bored by a show, I'd check out very quickly.
I'll never go back to From.
I've kind of forgot about shows that
get better the office um always sunny always sunny is great right now this is this is so
fucking good what was that last episode about yeah they've been really good there's one where
frank shoots every member of the gang uh and and this in one episode like did he and her husband
get divorced i thought i saw something about that on reddit uh that's probably a meme is she married to
rob the muscle the guy who got fit yeah oh yeah in real life they're married i thought you meant
she got married in the show no i i don't know her the actress's name but it's my understanding
i saw a joke on reddit about them splitting up or something and i i don't know who the actress is named, but it's my understanding. I saw a joke on Reddit about them splitting up or something.
And I, I don't know what the facts are.
I think it was a joke.
Okay.
Yeah.
I think that was the deal.
Cause they were being silly about it.
This season has been real good.
Man.
I remember what that last episode was about.
They've all been good except for maybe one real good, not real memorable.
Well, I mean, you know,
I can't remember this last one, okay, because
I watched it recently.
I am loving For All Mankind.
Have you seen all of it?
Of course. Oh, yeah, for sure.
Oh, long ago, long ago. Yeah, yeah.
I see. Now, I'm on season
three, I think, now. I'm not sure. They're trying
to get to Mars.
Gordo's getting in shape.
So you don't know what happens on Mars?
No. Oh, great!
Tell me nothing. I didn't even know
they made it. Oh, wonderful. I actually saw
a still shot
that implied they put people on Mars.
That's all the spoiler I have.
They show you a foot on the planet.
So the whole season is about
so you know we're going to get there. So the whole season is about, so you know we're going to get there.
So the whole season is about who gets there first.
There's a race for Mars.
I didn't know that.
That's not a big spoiler or anything.
That's going to be laid out as like, all right, so what this is, because everybody wants to go.
Because it seems like right now the Americans are beating the Russians kind of well.
Like the Russians,ians of course got us
good in the early part of the space race but we've just been hitting our stride developing a really
nice colony on the moon and the russians haven't been advancing like yeah they've fallen behind
yeah but i guess they're not to be if i remember they have some some critical like uh linchpin type problem it's like oh we can't get past this
this one issue uh but but yeah the that's a really good season it the quality held up and um
yeah man i can't i can't wait to you you see like how the season one thing that's bugging me a little
when they walk on the surface of the moon, they do a nice job.
Not a perfect job, but a nice job simulating low G.
They take the big steps and they kind of skip and they do whatever.
But when they are inside, indoors on the moon, it's just flat out Earth gravity.
They're like walking around and like holding things.
It's just Earth gravity indoors. In any kind of space show,
having an artificial gravity
module saves
so much money, I would imagine.
Oh, yeah. They always build
the ship with the rotating thing
to give the gravity, because otherwise it'd be a pain.
For all mankind's credit,
there were a lot of little
scenes where they showed zero-g
because they're in space
that i was like you know they didn't have to like hey pass me that toolbox and he slides the toolbox
across in the air and you know using because it's zero g and i'm like that wasn't that essential to
the plot but i bet there's like 30 man hours behind that four seconds of footage just to set everything up and rig it.
Did you watch the post credit scene at the end of season two?
No.
So it's real good.
It shows.
You should just watch it.
It's real good.
Post post credits season two.
I remember when I saw that i literally cheered
i was like what what what i'm wondering is there any way to tell me a little something
they show a spaceship coming out of the water oh yeah yeah yeah i have i love that
so actually i just saw that launch and like i caught up to that part of the show
so like up and he had a triumphant moment.
No, it's that there's a leap forward in time and technology
and then a big reveal that that has happened.
Because they're like drawing board,
maybe someday we could do this sort of thing.
And their spaceships are kind of small.
They're rockets that are lifting stuff up there.
And then they
show this thing coming out of the water slowly and you hear like a countdown and and you're like oh
that's not that big but then you realize what you're looking at is like the antenna and then
and then you're like oh that's big when you realize that's still not it that's just like
the the fucking pointy tip and you're like whoa it's real it's like 12 times bigger than anything they've ever
launched and it's underwater that's why there's a reveal because it's under you know it's it's a
lighter down there and they can they built it underwater to launch it it's so enormous that
doesn't make sense that's not why if i if i tell me if i'm misunderstanding the show i think they're
delivering a nuclear payload so they decide to launch the rocket from the middle of the ocean to minimize the risk to mankind.
Interesting.
I don't remember the specific details.
It's been a year at least now.
It's a really cool show.
And like Kyle mentioned, every so often you should watch this, Taylor.
I think you'd really enjoy it.
There are leaps forward in time.
So like you spend, I don't know, I'll make it up seven episodes on the moon.
And this first moon colony like sucks.
They had a real hard time landing.
They're suffering.
It's camping on the moon.
It's,
it's a rough survival camping.
It's rough.
Yeah.
And then like the next scene comes and the,
like they land a much nicer colony and it goes perfectly
and instead of like oh my god where are we gonna land we're not quite sure do you see a spot i
think ah all right i've eyeballed a spot i don't know if i can hit it or not and they like you know
fight to get the moon down with the limited fuel the next time around they're landing a fucking building like just like
they meant to boom and you're like whoa they figured shit out in the last two years we've
just had a leap in time and technology now let's deal with the new problems that we have from here
yeah that's what's cool about the show to me is is that they're they're leveraging the create
they're saying hey remember when technology was racing forward? It was because of the space race.
What if that kept happening?
Then technology would...
They need to make a better sale on the space race, too.
Like, they need to really sell us on what's on Mars.
Like, what's good there?
Because we hear so much, we're going to go to Mars.
We're going to get there eventually.
It's like, okay, but let's not get to Mars until
we know there's good shit on
Mars. Honestly, it
seems like a dismal shit hole
planet. Let's say it
costs a billion dollars to put something on
Mars. A hundred
billion, yeah. A trillion
or something.
Make it a hundred billion, right?
So there's 330 americans that means
we all owe it's incalculable is it 30 bucks something like that everyone's shipping 30
bucks and we go to mars i'll be like okay what about the people who have no money they're gonna
get to mars and they're gonna be like oh, oh, you know what? I know it actually happened.
They'd be like, oh, I know we said that was how much money we needed.
I know.
I know we did.
We lied.
We need twice that much.
And then we'd give them $60 from our pocket and they wouldn't go to Mars either.
They need to put up some fucking Mars shit about how great Mars is if they're going to keep me enticed by it.
Because here's what I think.
I think we could spend a million years
making Earth as awful as possible
on purpose, hairspraying,
and it would be better than Mars.
It'd be better than Mars.
Mars is a shithole.
People are like,
I want to go to Mars.
Really?
You want to go to Death Valley
for cheaper than that?
You want to go to Death Valley?
You want to go hang out in Death Valley?
Whoever goes to Mars is not...
A couple of things. Whoever goes to Mars,
the first people are never coming back.
There's got to be something good there.
Some resources.
There's no resources that are coming back either.
It's about landing on another planet.
It's about the achievement of exploration.
Of just going there and doing the thing.
I think that's all it's about. Because you can't
even live above the ground there because of the radiation.
There's got to be
a reason, something neat
that we can get from it. I just told
you. It's two things.
It's the, hey, we did it, and
it's what Elon Musk always preaches,
being a two-planet species, so
if one of them got knocked out... But it'll take a
long time for Mars to be self-sufficient.
The self-sufficient
would be people living on fungus
living underground, by the way.
Algae subsistence.
Mars would never be self-sufficient.
You have to be underground because there's no magnetosphere
because there's no fucking iron core
that's spinning, making one up.
It just gets pelted by low-dose radiation
all the goddamn time.
And it'd be fine to visit for a little while.
Oh, and don't forget,
the six months that you're flying there
is nothing but radiation.
There's no atmosphere
because there's... Magnetosphere.
Okay.
We have this magnetic field around the Earth
that's constantly shielding us
from the radiation. That's what does it? It's not the earth that's constantly shielding us from the radiation
that's what does it it's not the air that like absorbs all that no absolutely i do not understand
how space works i don't even understand how magnets work i don't understand how the atmosphere
doesn't go like first like it's a vacuum right like i so you're talking about like it was just gravity's holding it so
you're talking about how gravity is like gravity's the weakest force of all the physical forces yeah
that's why you need a whole planet just to hold air it's just it's the whole planet is pulling
right now taylor but i'm beating it right that that's that's the whole that that it's the weakest
force no i get it i'm
just like in my head when i try and think about that it's like what's keeping all the atmosphere
down i think it is gravity i know it's funny to me that you don't like what maybe air is not
heavier than you imagine it is because air is heavy as heck yeah and um the atmosphere protects
us from the ultraviolet radiation from the sun.
But that's
a different situation.
The cosmic radiation
that we're constantly being
bombarded with is being
what is it, the Van Allen
radiation bell? I think that's part
of it. I remember fifth grade.
But anyway, Mars
doesn't have magnetosphere if it
does it's a very weak one and it won't protect you from that radiation so you have to live under
fucking ground by the way the six months that you're traveling there you're getting irradiated
there whoever goes there is getting cancer all of them they're all dying of cancer on mars if
they're lucky pause on best case scenario i thought it was fairly easy to stop radiation. Where?
They did it on the way to the moon.
A tin can can do it.
No.
No.
No.
Not the radiation in space that they're constantly.
And then the other thing is there's like the metric system, right? It's like two centimeters of aluminum or something that they're wrapped in.
Huh?
They went through that radiation to the moon.
It's not.
That's a lot of aluminum.
Maybe you mean millimeters.
Six days back.
It's 250,000 miles versus, I don't know,
eight fucking billion or something to Mars.
I don't know how far it is to Mars.
Here's the thing I've wondered.
Best case scenario.
Why isn't there nuclear power in the space station?
Like in the space race?
Why is everything just fossil fuels as far as I know?
Maybe it's more cost effective.
I don't know.
Well, the launch vehicles have to be rockets.
The nuclear engines that they've shown and talked about.
I think NASA's doing a nuclear engine.
I think they just said that.
But it would be for space travel.
It would be for moving around in the outer spaces.
All right.
So in the show, for for all mankind at least in the
early days they're constantly having fuel issues you know he did as the lunar landers coming on
the moon they're like landing with on fumes they can barely get the thing down softly and i'm like
why don't they go nuclear and have just like a nuclear carrier? They don't worry about energy.
They've got all the energy they could want for decades.
But see, that's steam energy.
So they're just warming up water and making steam.
Steam propulsion.
Problem solved.
That's all that nuclear energy is.
It's just creating a shit ton of steam.
They have those nuclear batteries.
Like, remember on, what's the Marky Mark? Not Marky Mark. creating a shit ton of steam they have those nuclear batteries uh like like remember uh on um
and uh what's the marky mark not marky mark uh the matt damon movie that uh martian remember he
had that uh that that uh nuclear battery he went and dug up yeah but that's i do yeah um i think
nasa's making some kind of a nuclear engine. NASA's got to wow me, man.
There's been a lot of this, a lot of this.
But it's always going to be a lot of moon rain.
Space forces never...
How about this?
How about we set the...
How about just go back to the moon?
Let's go back to the moon again.
That'll be step one.
They'll have to.
Go back to the moon again.
You know what?
How about this?
If I'm king, I say, Elon,
none of you guys have permission
to do anything anything with mars until there is a weekend trip to the moon option available
for consumers that'll show that we have such a good handle on the moon that we're ready to move
past the moon we're ready we've conquered the moon at this point we've just showed up there
once and been like we're in charge because no one's gonna fight like honestly that's probably
the case but it'd be expensive right the same way that you know that it would be a put up or shut up
thing where they they could no longer go yeah just we need that to do mars because it's it's like no
no no moon 50 times that's your that's your goal you gotta get to the moon 50 times more you gotta
set it up so that other billionaires can like hop on a fucking dangerous sub and go check it out or whatever
oh have you heard the submarine rap video have you seen that no there's a submarine rap video
oh my god oh my god we can't end this call without me sharing this with you
oh jesus christ i've played it an unhealthy amount of times. It is so funny to me.
Maybe I'm an asshole.
Is it that black guy dancing around?
No, this is so much better than that.
Again,
I don't think it's cool that people think it's funny that billionaires
die or think it doesn't matter that billionaires die.
When you write a fucking song about some shit,
you can get me to laugh a lot.
Let's watch this. It's just freaking
PKN.
Zach, can you play it for us? Fire it up from the beginning. You write a fucking song about some shit. You can get me to laugh along. Let's watch this. It's just freaking PKN. Oh, yes, please.
Zach, can you play it for us?
You fired up from the beginning.
This is just dynamite.
I'm excited about what's going on.
Oh, I love it.
I'm so psyched.
All right.
All right. 250 bands on this submarine. I'm finna go explore Atlantis in this submarine. I'm about to go and see some shit I've never seen.
I'm about to go explore Titanic in this submarine.
Submarine got Playstations, TV screen.
Submarine got everything a rich nigga need.
250 bands for this submarine.
I drip different, nigga.
I'm a beat or cheap.
I'm off the black, look my head.
I'm a beat or cheap.
I'm in the kitchen like I'm SpongeBob.
I'm turning on the grease.
I'm in the studio.
I'm off the dome like Sandy Cheeks. Spongebob characters.
That's Finding Nemo.
You know what's funnier?
The first time I saw it. Are you sure? Because that's the first time I saw it.
Are you sure?
Because that's the first time I saw it. It wasn't funny at all.
It really was.
Were you stoned?
250 fans?
Is that $250,000?
Yeah, which is what it costs. How much the submarine
costs. No, to go on the submarine.
I don't know what it costs. That's how much it should cost.
That's when Elon can go back to Mars, when it costs
250 bands to get to the moon.
That'll show we have a tremendous amount of control
over our space travel.
What do you want? Who do you want
forging the space race
to Mars? Do you want someone who
has no practice visiting a celestial
body in the past entire working
life of anyone who does this shit?
Or do you think you want a team who's like,
oh, moon? Do that in my sleep.
In my sleep. Well, the problem is what you said
earlier, right? The whole
thing is, let's see who can do it.
I don't really want to do it.
You do it. Nah, you do it.
Prove it. They don't have a choice anymore
if there's no more money unless they go to the moon they're all going to jail you understand
this they're all going to jail if they don't get to the moon there's a real clock for king taylor
you got oh i'm sorry have you been we don't have a year from now taylor we can't do you've had
60 years you've had 60 years to get i mean we're sending stuff to the moon all the time.
No, it's gotta be a guy.
We're sending stuff to the moon all the time.
Yeah, I doubt that.
To do what? Just drop it off?
No, they're sending rovers and exploratory
robots up there all the time.
Not NASA, but all the other countries.
Like, everybody's... North Korea tried to send
one the other day.
I'm just saying.
I think, like, Italy's got one i know china and india maybe have robots up there i'd be surprised everyone's always like oh we're
we gotta hurry up to get to the stars and all that well it's gonna take a little bit of seriousness
guys if we're gonna get to the stars and that means no fiddling around with underground societies
on mars until you can go to the moon again.
That's their plan, by the way, is to start with the moon. I think Taylor's too ambitious.
Let's fire it off. Let's do it. I think that's what we're
working on, Taylor. If you want to go to Mars,
let me see you at least produce a fucking
Cybertruck first.
Finish that big hole
in California.
We were halfway through 2023.
That thing was supposed to be out in 2019.
I saw one the other day.
The promises of Mars.
I don't know if that's coming.
No, I want to see them go back to the moon.
That would be neat.
I used to think
that I would see people go to Mars.
Now I don't know about that.
When I was a kid, it was right around the fucking
corner, right? George Bush was all about it. Worse than that, when I was a kid, it was right around the fucking corner.
George Bush was all about it. Worse than that, when I was a kid, it was right around the corner.
But the problem is you need a resource that's on Mars that is so valuable
that it's worth going there and bringing it back,
which would be the most colossal thing we'd ever done.
Sending people there to get something
and bringing it back here is insane.
It would have to be magic.
It would have to be magic.
It would have to be that shit they get from whale brains
and avatars.
I don't think that would do it.
What? Eternal youth?
Yeah, that would do it. I forgot it was eternal youth.
Yeah, it would need to be some shit
like that to get us motivated to go there and get it but there's nothing like that there there's not even like
what there's not even enough like trash there might be some ice there's definitely plenty of
iron there's a ton of ice there's a ton of ice would you like some very expensive iron
yeah would you like dust dust and dirt and rocks don't worry it's totally inhospitable like what do we i think
i think during certain brief moments of the day you could survive without a without a suit at all
you know as long as you had oxygen you could get this yeah scuba gear i'm like 99 sure yeah you
could scuba you could scuba for brief parts that if your scuba's airtight, I don't know if that's true.
It's a big part of scuba. I know it's watertight, but maybe it's...
Even in regular scuba, they consider
that essential.
It's a huge
problem if it's not.
But I guess you probably know leaks very
immediately if you're scubaing because a bunch of
bubbles start...
That's the other thing we need to talk about. like everybody's on this we need this kind of spaceship
that kind of spaceship no we got to start with these goddamn suits these goofballs are wearing
every time i see a cool sci-fi show that thing looks like i don't know like it's an x-game sport
now it's all light it all it's all modular a space suit that makes my ass look like I'm wearing jeans.
Yes.
They're not in some big diaper thing.
By the way,
every astronaut has shit himself.
I'm almost positive
because they're out there all the time
in those goddamn diapers.
It's awful.
Those suits are one size fits all.
They're just
proving themselves because they're just so scared
in space.
I can't
remember who it was.
There's an astronaut on a podcast and he said
he's a little guy and
he was talking about how those fucking space
suits are one size fits all.
They're all little guys. That's how they
make everything look so big up there.
Is it?
You just put a little guy next to Earth.
Mars isn't that impressive.
That's just a dwarf.
It's just a basketball.
They spray paint it in the background.
It is like the Air Force, I think.
They want spryer, smaller guys
mostly, right?
That would make sense.
If you go into a low G or zero G environment,
why do you want a
Brock Lesnar up there? Yeah, you don't want a
big, huge, wide guy.
Some guy who's like 6'5". You don't want him.
I want a bunch of dainty girls.
No, no, no. They have to be smart.
No.
Asian girls. You can find
five smart girls to send to bars.
That's the whole...
See, that's what's holding Elon up right now. Is he... Asian girls. You can find five smart girls to send to Mars. Smart women?
See, that's what's holding Elon up right now.
Like Taylor always says,
the smartest women are the smartest of people because you want a smart Jewish woman.
You want half smart...
That's not what Taylor says at all.
What are those fancy Jews, Taylor,
that have the extra the high iqs
ashkenazi yeah aren't those the ones that you like an extra 10 points on that's like uh those
are european jews fancy so like ashkenazi ashkenazi is like a type of so like ben shapir like a
european jew is called an ashkenazi jew and i've never heard of this kind of jew and i'm from the northeast yeah those are the ones you're you're running into yeah like america i want to set five of
those up there uh fucking very religious five of those yeah five of those that there's that's the
mission to mars because they're lighter all right less not more equipment we can send stick with me
here they eat less and we can carry more food think me here. They eat less and carry more food. Think about it.
The mission all of a sudden is
30% longer. Yes. They all
love that thin cracker bread.
That's a Jew treat. Matzah maybe?
Matzah. You just pack their
fucking pants with matzah and they're good to go.
I don't know if Israel has a
space force.
They've got a different missile program.
They've got some cool missile program. They've got
some cool stuff in Israel.
Instead of Operation Paperclip getting the Nazi
scientists, now we go the other side. Operation
Menorah, steal up the
Jew NASA
astronauts.
I don't think they have a space program
at all, which is probably for the best because
those rumors of Jewish space lasers
really got some people rattled a few years back.
Do they have space
lasers? Do the Jews have them? Well, there was talk of it.
There was talk of it. That's what started the
California wildfires, according to Marjorie
Taylor Greene. Well, the Jews...
She's my representative and she does...
And they're lasers. She wouldn't lie.
No. She said lasers
started it? What she
actually said was that George Soros started the California wildfires with his satellite lasers.
And people changed it to Jewish space lasers because it sounds even worse than a George Soros space laser.
But it is kind of close to that.
That's so funny.
Why can't you just say what George Soros actually does?
Be like, he's one of the most wealthy,
politically active billionaires on the planet
who helps do what all billionaires do,
fix elections in the ways they want all around.
It's like, just say he does that.
Don't be like, he's also a lizard.
I've played Warhammer 3, Soros.
Uh-huh, uhhammer 3. Soros.
We know.
It's because the lizards are called Soroses in
Warhammer.
Which I guess isn't that
creative. Dinosaurus.
It's too easy.
Let's wrap.
I thought we'd never catch on.
We've put the pieces together
have you seen They Live?
it's on YouTube it's free
Rowdy Roddy Piper
I don't know how it holds up
I was young I was the right demo for when that movie
came out like I was the perfect guy
I wonder if I'd like it today
yeah it's time to wrap though
P.K.