Pendejo Time - whiskey business

Episode Date: September 10, 2021

thomas went to Ibiza with his new italian boyfriend so im auditioning new hosts.  first up to bat notorious DJ and whiskey guy Curtis Remarc.Support the Show....

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the chat. Our good friend Curtis. How you doing, Curtis? I'm doing good. I'm hanging in there. Thanks for joining us. Thomas got hit by a fucking Peterbilt and he's dead. So I've been, I have to, you're the first person to do, I guess, Pandejo Times Got Talent. So I really want you to swing for the fences on this one. That's why I got my harmonica. Nobody on Twitter has seen that yet. Yeah, that's, yeah, I know.
Starting point is 00:00:37 You never cease to amaze me with the hidden talents and hobbies and interests. I like to think that if we did, do you know what kind of like, if I really was doing like an open run for second, like if something really happened to Thomas, can you imagine what kind of like desperate people would be hitting me up to be like to take Thomas's spot of all people? I'm going to be some guy who can put his calf all the way over the back of his head and like suck his dick or something. Yeah, definitely. Like a lot of those guys on twitter who i know definitely follow us they just need one or two pills and they can do something we've never thought of with their bodies they're like hey man i don't got much to say uh but i did check this out i did chop my own nuts off the drug induced bender i was watching tiktok the other day on the plane like i was getting ready to get onto a plane back from hawaii and i'm sitting in the airport and this guy jumped out of a plane with a parachute and then shot the parachute with a
Starting point is 00:01:31 flare gun and just free falled for like a solid 25 seconds and i was like he's got to have another parachute in there and then he did have another parachute in there but it was like a like an exaggeratedly smaller parachute that suddenly just opened. And I'm like, I don't have the balls to do what some people just out there on the Internet feel like doing nowadays. I was talking to my friend Ben and he was like we were talking about like what like the new phase, I guess, of like not comedy is the wrong word, but like just engagement. And like obviously YouTube's been around forever, but like the funny guys now are guys like Steve will do it or whatever. Like there's not really there are people still doing like sketch stuff, but it's taken a backseat to guys who like slam an entire bottle of Everclear and then drive a motorcycle like off a bridge while they're saying the R word or whatever. Like that is like the new
Starting point is 00:02:25 those guys are the big superstars when tiktok first came out for some reason shoenice followed me i don't know why like just i i had like two followers he was yeah i guess he was trying to be like the little b of tiktok or something because yeah he followed me and i was watching all of his tikts for a little bit. And in the beginning, it was him trying to say, like, I don't do like people would like comment and be like, eat some paste. And he'd be like, I don't do that anymore. But then like slowly, it just gradually, I guess it got to him and he just started showing
Starting point is 00:03:02 old videos of him eating paste and shit like that. And he's like, I'm going to do this again. And then just, he unfollowed me. So I just, I left that alone. So I don't know if he's still doing it,
Starting point is 00:03:10 but I mean, yeah, people are trying to carry his torch for sure. For sure. He brought to YouTube. I think it's like a combination of him and just like the barstool send it mentality. It's like, you know,
Starting point is 00:03:21 I watched one of his shoe. Nice is because he was like an enigma to me as a young boy as like a teenager well probably like 19 i guess yeah and i remember in one of his videos somebody had commented like how did you not die from the everclear challenge because he slammed like a whole like 1.5 liter of everclear and he was like i'm gonna let you in on a little secret okay this is a tool of the trade he was like we throw it all up like we hit the like we hit stop record he's like me steve will do it like the jackass guys back in the day like all anybody doing a drinking challenge like it's edited with smart editing or it's like a glass drill type deal and he was like he was like i would have died
Starting point is 00:04:05 he was like i've he's like i've been out he's like i'm an alcoholic he was like you do not get to do that and he was saying that like you know even at the end of the video he's like you have like 30 seconds to throw it up or you have to go to the hospital yeah so yeah so he like drank a 1.5 liters of what is essentially like moonsh, like old school still moonshine. And then he's like, I threw up and then I blacked out for a day. And I was like, man, even with you telling the magician's code, you're telling the secrets. That's still so fucked up.
Starting point is 00:04:39 I mean, he still looks like it. Yeah. Have you seen his face lately? He looks like a shoe leather. Yeah, he looks like it. Yeah. No, he, yeah. Have you seen his face lately? He looks like a straw. He looks like shoe leather. Yeah. Yeah, he looks like. I mean, he looks the part.
Starting point is 00:04:49 It's not like I ever watched his videos before and was like. This guy's fake. He's going to be fucking good looking in 50 years from the money. Yeah, yeah. He's going to get fillers and shit. Yeah, yeah. He's going to be a B-list for sure, at least. There was like a short Vice documentary on him, I think, some years back. but it was literally like five or six minutes long and what else are you gonna do
Starting point is 00:05:09 yeah there's not much else to him they he was like yeah i've been smashing shit over my head since i was a little kid my parents my parents like really hated me and then like that was pretty much the whole interview like it was him it was like him showing like i think he's from like kensington area which makes sense uh where like philly like bad oh shit really yeah yeah i think so here yeah he's got that accent does make sense and uh he was like it was that or like he has like a midwestern northeast transatlantic thing going on kind of where he's like if you drink a bottle of ever it's like very much but i remember him saying that like he was like showing the house he grew
Starting point is 00:05:49 up in and it was like a condemned trap house he was like it used to look much worse than this but i was like man you need to how did you get fame like you know the country's in danger when we're like we can't look away like we we have to like we're just totally like captivated by a guy who just can't move like he did his his whole thing is like body torture i mean we've made 10 saw movies so i guess it makes sense yeah and i mean that's like that's where we're at now i mean they're re-releasing what do they got another jack when i was in hawaii i thought i saw that there was an're at now. I mean, they're re-releasing. What do they got? Another Jackass? When I was in Hawaii, I thought I saw that there was an ad at a movie theater over there for another Jackass.
Starting point is 00:06:31 There is. Which I remember reading. It's got to be at this point senior citizen torture. Well, when they first started filming it, I was reading. They got three weeks into filming and Johnny Knoxville broke his hip bone and Steve-O cracked his clavicle and tore his acromion joint. It was some gnarly collection of injuries. And I was like, dude, like 90% of these guys are sober now and they're all like mid 40s, early 50s. Like they can't like, no, there's no longevity in this.
Starting point is 00:07:01 And yet they still do it for the love of the game. So respect. But I imagine, yeah, it's got to be much harder when you're not doing speedballs. What if they had a jackass follow-up that was just them getting life-changing surgeries from all the shit that they've done? Oh, yeah, they just film. Like experimental treatments. When I was a kid, I don't know if you ever heard this,
Starting point is 00:07:21 but everybody used to talk about apparently Johnny Knoxville had like a swizzle stick. He needed to stick up his dick in order to like piss or shit like that. Yeah, he did. Yeah, it was something like that. Like I want to see him finally just grow downward into actually producing that sort of content. This is how I have to get a boner now and just like a stick. to get a boner now and just like just yeah i have to i have to put a fucking uh pipe cleaner into my pecker head to uh bust one off or piss or do anything um i wear a colostomy bag it's got a penis drawn on it uh steve-o did that one hey steve-o for no thing from that teacher who suffered like
Starting point is 00:08:13 severe burns in south park they uh that's probably all that would be left of steve-o by that point if he keeps doing this type of shit that reminds me of the the fucking that uh collection of videos from the nurses from the uk who got the vaccine who were like clearly faking oh yeah having shaking shit that i'm yeah i just i'm i don't know like all of that stuff looks like what you do to have a seizure if you've never seen someone have a seizure like it's like movie shit it's like like like lenny from of my son like like i took the vaccine and now i can yeah it's like in those movies where like people get shot by like a nine millimeter and they blow against the wall like yeah yeah like i got the vaccine and now like my whole body is just like my bones have
Starting point is 00:09:05 become soft like full i am sam like you're putting it on way too thick now like yeah all the shit that i'd like you go down a dark hole when you just look at half the stuff you see online about this stuff and it's oh it's like i i took the vaccine right right? Yeah, me too. Like back in April or something. I didn't even get it up front because in New Jersey, like if you were a healthy person, you had to wait like forever. And I needed it at some point, especially because, you know, they required it for certain travel. Like when I went to Hawaii right now, I had to fill out like online prerequisite to that i had to fill out a whole bunch of travel stuff that said hey either you had a covid test in the last 24 hours before you arrived here aka meaning i would have had to do that shit like on the plane which is like not
Starting point is 00:09:56 physically possible and the amount of travel i had to do or you know you had the vaccine it's like obviously i'm just gonna get the vaccine but i had it months ago and I'm out here perfectly fine. Yeah. You know, I wasn't worried about it. Even my entire conservative family got the vaccine before I did. Yeah. And they were like, and they were pushing it. They were like, you should get, you should get vaccinated and stuff. And I'm like, yeah. And so I don, yeah. So I don't even know where, I don't even, the politics of it are so dissolved now. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:10:30 Because it's just become now, it's like, oh, you're one of those people who whenever you hear anti-vax stuff, you're just like, ah, okay. It's just that more us versus them shit. So I was stuck in a Mexican airport for like seven hours coming home. And I went down the- That's a story we should be talking about. So I was stuck in a Mexican airport for like seven hours coming home.
Starting point is 00:10:47 That's a story we should be talking about. I went down that Herman Cain Award Reddit rabbit hole. Dude, there are people to their last – they post a selfie of them with a BiPAP mask on. And they're like, fuck it. If I die, i'm going with the lord and it's like no man you're not bro yeah yeah i mean let's just assume for the sake of argument that god does exist i don't think you're you know i i don't know it's probably gonna be pissed off you showed up with a cough yeah i would be pissed off you showed up with a call don't show up to my house like bro yeah like i am the all-seeing eye and you show up like this yeah like if you showed up with gangrene
Starting point is 00:11:32 coming out your dick i'm gonna be fucking pissed off i'm gonna be like you couldn't have like showered yeah one time you that's all you had to do was just clean your ass and then you don't do that and you show up here and you expect me to be nice about it like fuck all the memes are so funny like i don't because they're happening in real time obviously like like people much smarter than like anybody i know like people who study like social whatever like they can't study this shit in real time what i'm thinking of offhand is sam elliott from roadhouse it's it's an impact voices ever of is sam elliott from roadhouse it's a it's an impact voices ever of course sam elliott from roadhouse it's an impact font top and bottom meme from like 2006
Starting point is 00:12:13 and it was like ain't it like that goofy smile yeah and he's like looking into the camera yeah and it's like ain't it funny how it's my body my my choice, unless you're getting a vaccine? And I'm like, dude, Sam Elliott is like a Hollywood. You know he's like a Hollywood. Like, all these guys are Hollywood liberals, except for Jon Voight and Bruce Willis. Did you see that list that came out yesterday? It was like nothing but just people who haven't acted in movies for like 25 years. Yeah, people whose heyday was like when it was okay to say the n-word on a bus yeah it was like yeah but it was also stuff that was like from hallmark's secondary channels that they
Starting point is 00:12:51 had on cable kevin sorbo kevin sorbo like yeah yeah oh somebody said on there in the comment thread they're like oh at least we have like hercules or something like that and it's like when has what hercules what or like something whatever the hell he was in whatever that wb show that used to run on sunday afternoon reruns that he was in like when has that guy been relevant in the past 15 years he made that movie that got a lot of flack yeah wasn't it like some super religious thing or it was religious and also anti-antifa so it was like his family like they like like antifa is coming for like everyone's guns and bible and they have like they're getting chased through antifa by the woods and he like
Starting point is 00:13:36 john wicks all of them which is just the void is a hundred miles back. Can you imagine getting chased by a bunch of like five, eight social media managers? Like it's essentially what I would imagine. Like all these people who talk about being anti-vax, you know me, you know, I'm in the gym. You know the shit that I do.
Starting point is 00:13:58 We talk about it all the time. Sure. Like fighting and all that. And all the people I know who talk about anti-vax, I just want to kind of like poke at them and be like, look at like come on man if i was anti-vax at least i have a fighting chance if you're anti-vax like you would have trouble like downing a sandwich without sweating like there's at least on my end like i could be like ah i got like a cough and this shit's kind of hurting like you know and i could be like, ah, I got like a cough and this shit's kind of hurting.
Starting point is 00:14:25 Like, you know, and I could be like, I could probably tough it out. Those, uh, those pictures that get shared of the people who like die on that Reddit thread, they're always of like, so sad. There's like, they're big, they're like big dog shirt, you know, like go back to your country, go tea guys. Like they, they have the NASCAR go tea. And it's like, man my this is literally like 90 of my it's like 90 of my family from texas so when i see these pictures i'm like this could be
Starting point is 00:14:52 my uncle but again my uncle's a fucking cocksucker so whatever i don't give a shit but uh seems to be there's a pattern now for sure you see right there was a pattern before but it's very prevalent now yeah it's copy paste you see who is like i i was scrolling through some stuff today and one of the like i came across somebody this guy was in the hospital his mother was in the hospital and they look like like gabriel inglesias family like they look like or whatever his name is that uh the heavy mexican yeah yeah you got it like they look like that and i'm is that uh the heavy mexican yeah yeah you got it like they look like that and i'm like i like sat back and i was like yeah you know yeah yeah you need all the all of the biological protection you can get because you're not you're not fighting off
Starting point is 00:15:39 cravings any other time when you pass a fast food place so why would you be fighting off covid i don't think so i think they're well i mean i don't know like there's a bunch of like things that can be said but i mean it is like like those people have the convictions of like revolutionary guerrilla fighters like they're like literally on the during their deathbed they're like if i die uh like many of them do have regret like they're like i wish i would have got the vaccine some of them some many of them though are like i've seen many say like nbc has been like going out on a limb to yeah like to find record all these interviews yeah and i don't know how many of them are kind of like that old jay leno bit where he
Starting point is 00:16:22 would like ask people state capitals and only show the people who were like not they were like uh namibia or whatever like they like all of these news channels have been going out of the way to show some of these people who are just like they're like and would you have taken the vaccine and they're like no yeah you know like struggling with the machines beeping all around him and shit. And you're like, yeah, that kind of makes sense. I was just down your way, by the way. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:16:51 I had to go to Dallas-Fort Worth. Oh, shit. You were over in Thomas' neck of the woods. Yeah. I meant to ask, like, you know, because Texas is a big place. I know that you're over near Austin, right? I am in austin yeah you are in austin he's over in i figured he was over in like like a further land yeah he's in fort he
Starting point is 00:17:11 was in some podunk town outside of fort worth but he i what's the difference between dallas and fort worth if you had to sum it up um okay um let's see dallas is like rich white people and poor white people fort worth is rich mexicans who want to be right at white and then just poor mexicans okay yeah like that's like his bet like guys who have like a sixty thousand dollar construction job that are like first generation american they're like send them back You know, like that's probably like the closest that I can. And, and that's not racist because I'm from the state. I'm allowed to say it.
Starting point is 00:17:51 Cause I live here. Uh, no, yeah. Places like that over by me too. Like, you know, and I,
Starting point is 00:17:57 my hometown is predominantly like it has, I like to say it had my home County even has three major exports. Either you're a police officer, a nurse or working in a hospital or you are a contractor. Yeah. And it's like, and the contractor end gets a little diverse, but even the diversified parts of that are like those first, second gen guys who were like, I'm a Republican. All right. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:18:23 It reminds me of that Indian guy on TikTok is like, you can't say that. Why would you say that? Oh my God, he's my like, I'm a Republican. All right? Yeah. It reminds me of that Indian guy on TikTok who's like, you can't say that word. Why would you say that? Oh, my God, he's my favorite. I'm a racist. Yeah, yeah. I don't lie. I'm racist.
Starting point is 00:18:32 I said it on my comment today on OTC twice. Yeah, yeah. Wanted to go three times. They wouldn't let me. Yeah. But, like, that's what it seems like. I mean, you know that, that i mean obviously that divide of you're down where mexico kind of like you know the line is blurred and it's always been like that historically for
Starting point is 00:18:52 you guys down there so it's like yeah i'm sure that people's politics just get all blurred but one thing i always notice when i get to dallas airport is that is the place where when i get off the plane and i go to like whatever style like a McDonald's or something every guy around me is in khakis and a black polo and a backpack with boots and I'm like uh because I always I'm surrounded by guys who work for gun manufacturers like the second I land in Dallas it's all these dudes with like a high and tight traveling around working for like Daniel Defense right Right. There's two sides. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:19:26 It's finance bros, lawyers. Cause there's SMU over there or it's guys who work for gun, different gun manufacturers and distributors. And then obviously you have the poor parts and you know, that's like any poor part of tech. It's just, you know,
Starting point is 00:19:40 any poor part of Virginia trailers and fucking Mountain Dew and fucking crystal. And you know, but they're wealthier parts. Where my buddy, like one of my college roommates, his dad is like disrespectfully wealthy. Like not the kind where it's like, yeah, it was pretty chill. It's like I went to his house once and, you know, like I grew up with not a lot of money. And one thing he told me before I went into his house was like hey you
Starting point is 00:20:05 can't be weird and i was like what do you mean and he was like just don't like laugh or be like what the fuck because i went and visited him in dallas and he lives like right next to this like country club where like senators play or whatever and so we go there and we're just like you know he was my roommate whatever we ended up being friends in a weird set of circumstances i walk into his house and i immediately start cracking up i'm like what the fuck dude like it's this like you know like eight car garage big ass driveway it's a one-story house but it's fucking huge and then we get inside and he's like dude i thought i told you to chill the fuck out and i'm like man i'm sorry i'll act right and he goes all right look man just go put your shit in the movie theater and i was like
Starting point is 00:20:43 you can't tell me to chill out and then be like go put your shit in the theater room and sure enough i walk like 10 rooms to the right and there's a fucking like like rows of massaging like high-end fucking i don't know the brand but it's the shit that they put on like g5s it's like the leather you know like you can picture it. Yeah. Yeah. Like $10,000 little leather chairs. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:21:08 And then with the wooden accents and a cup holder on it. Yeah. Yeah. And then he's, and I'm like, I just left my shit on a chair that I think is worth more than like, if I were to donate every part of my body to science and then like, take out like,
Starting point is 00:21:22 like this money and like, yeah, their pool was in the shape of their initial, their first, last name. Man. This dude is nouveau riche. To the max. Well, so what's funny is. Damn it, Jake.
Starting point is 00:21:33 I told you not to be embarrassing. Dad's not going to take us out in a Maserati. His dad was like, I show up in a dirty black sweater that's got queso stains on it. And I'm like chain smoking in the back by the pool. By the way, none of these people smoke. They have perfect teeth. They have like Botox. They'll get drunk and ask you for a cigarette, but they're the type of rich.
Starting point is 00:21:53 They won't even look at tobacco unless it's a cigar, and even then they just pretend to smoke it. It's like a thing that rich guys do. I'm sure you've met guys like that. No, that's whiskey guys. Yeah, exactly. There's so many. Well, although they like fall head over heels for cigars, but that's whiskey guys yeah yeah yeah so many well although they like fall head over heels for cigars but yeah that's another story but like yeah as far as if it's anything else you're right
Starting point is 00:22:10 well you know what's funny is when i worked at a i worked at a um like this fancy cocktail joint i was bouncing for a bit and they moved me over to tobacco sales because they like contracted out some different security anyway i realized something 99 of tobacco and whiskey guys that actually do have money have no idea because i don't either but i would just google like buzzwords and then just talk confidently and say stuff like you know like charleston the last farm in charleston or like certain type of rap and they're like yeah that's the cigar i want yeah i love that one i've had that one before and i'm like no you haven't because i just made it up i'm gonna give you one from the back that like is you know expensive or whatever same thing with whiskey that i was
Starting point is 00:22:52 like they would be like yeah i'm looking for something you know pd or something and i'm like all right man that's the word that like guys toss around like for scotch. Yeah. Like, yeah. Yeah. I mean, the main American scotch drinker really only knows Lagavulin. And they got that from like fucking watching that dude on Parks and Rec or something. So like that's the only style of whiskey. You know, they're like, yeah, I'm looking for some PD and smoky. Those guys are great because you can lie to them. And again, if you just act like you know what they're talking about, they'll just be like, man, you really know your shit.
Starting point is 00:23:27 And I'm like, I don't at all. They've largely been replaced, too, by the new contingent of Whiskey Boomer is like all about Buffalo Trace. And that's what they love. Really? Of all? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's rampant. it's rampant like we could do an entire another hour on just comedy on shit i find by by proxy having to be a part of certain groups that i like help run right even locally and by the way i've
Starting point is 00:23:53 been added to groups from all around the country including texas and georgia and places like that and it they're all every universal you know that picture that people share on twitter where it's like it's like all those white guys that always would be in your replies that are right yeah the guys who are dying from covid right now yeah yes just to harken back the exact same people who are dying from covid and also flying into dallas fort worth in khakis and high lights are and are they're the same people who are like all every boomer whiskey guys obsessed with Buffalo Trace currently. It's driven the market completely on its end. That's a really weird one to be.
Starting point is 00:24:30 Well, I'm not even that knowledgeable, but it seems like one. You don't. But you could throw around. Speaking of the buzzwords that you're talking about, the new thing is cigar companies have pinpointed these idiots so easily that now cigar companies are like we're making a a pappy van winkle cigar or something like that like they do that and like and all these guys literally they go ape shit this is the cigar that doc holiday smoked yeah they do that like i'm serious like that's what they do that like they these cigar companies have got these dudes fucking pegged because as of the past couple months what i've noticed is if if you mention the words buffalo and trace in the same sentence you start to hear several lines of chattahoochee
Starting point is 00:25:17 start playing because i'm like a rolling stampede of like guys who look like roll tide probably haven't had a covid vaccine yeah like that is the people who are now the target market of a lot of the whiskey market because and the reason why is because they go back it's called something called the secondary market which would be people selling whiskey outside of stores buffalo trace's value in the past couple years has exponentially increased on that so you have these guys who go out of their way to go buy whiskey that could be like $30 if a store gets a shipment of it, but they can't wait that long. So they'll buy it for $250 off everybody off the internet.
Starting point is 00:25:58 Well, all of these companies see that because they're not stupid and they're just like me because I work like, you know, I'm at the point now where I'm starting to get a little bit more professional with and I'm working with like different brands to kind of bring locality for smaller guys. Right. So like you see these people who are working in marketing. I'm seeing it with the cigar guys are like, you know, it would be brilliant if we just started marketingword-ass Buffalo Trace cigars at these guys because they'll buy them. Yeah. Let alone the fact that smoking anything while you're tasting whiskey is just completely destroying your palate. But somehow cigars and whiskey have been so intertwined throughout history that I digress on that one.
Starting point is 00:26:40 But they've got it now. These cigar companies can sell that for $75. Here's your pappy here's your buffalo trace cigar oh it's just i mean people don't i again like you it's just like stupid like in group out group stuff where it's like well the people that i admire and my friends are into this dumb shit and if i'm not into it then we won't get to play golf together it gives you something to talk about because you have nothing else to talk go shop for ford raptors together or like you know throw our wives down the stairs together and whatever oh and don't get me started that actually dude there's posts in some of these by the way
Starting point is 00:27:14 these people are all wildly alcoholics that don't know it they just don't realize it yet because they'll say shit like is it too early to start drinking hands and it's like 9 a.m and they're having breakfast and it's like like several people who are still like with it will be like yes and then like other posts are in there where they're like my goddamn bitch of a wife said this wasn't a good buy because we had an electric bill we still had to pay boo fucking who but guess who got it and it's like and then you look and it's like this bottle that you could again get for 30 but like he got it for 250 that day because he was just wildly pissed off and needed it in his life like this that's what happens a ton there's it's there's so much of it
Starting point is 00:27:57 and it's actually funny and you can see the lack of personality in all these people right so what's so funny is i'll jump in some groups and just it's so easy to get a rise out of some of them it's like the early days of of like reddit or twitter in there it's awesome because i could just come in there and be like well your bitch of a wife probably has better taste than having to deal with you or something they'll be like i drank a whole bottle of this and fucked your old lady what are you gonna do well i mean you can't say too raw of something because then you'll get banned i've already been banned like once or twice just by simply being like i need to report this post or something like that right for how stupid it is but yeah i mean that's a
Starting point is 00:28:38 common thing so like what you're talking about where you worked it, it, it's big now. It's easy. It's so easy to get a rise out of bourbon guys, because whereas you were talking about working in, in a place where scotch was a thing, honestly, you were probably dealing with better people at one point in time because now the gates have opened.
Starting point is 00:29:01 And now it's like all these guys, especially over the past two years, because everybody's been bored as shit. You know, everybody suddenly like they're just clearing out whiskey shelves and it happens to be Buffalo Trace that is like the driver of all of it. And I'm sure some listeners will probably be able to repeat that back and agree and be like, yep, that's true. And I and some people are like, I bet we're going to get a million comments on Blanton's I don't know if our audience is like
Starting point is 00:29:31 I don't think so you never know it happens some guy's going to message me like this episode just made me relapse thanks brother well fine then and call me up if that happens I could just video you i could just share to you all day long on my shelves and just make you start shaking or
Starting point is 00:29:50 something i don't know pissing blood well if you're trying to purchase whiskey you might have to have a wallet on you that's right and uh if you have a wallet already you're gonna want to throw that thing the fuck out and you're gonna want to go buy a ridge wallet using our code going to ridge.com slash pendejo that's p-e-n-d-e-j-o what i love about the ridge wallet um it has it's a slimline modern wallet they come carbon fiber titanium they got a bunch of shit uh they're running a full-blown damn lottery right now and if you enter uh every dollar spent on the website before september 18th you'll be entered to win an off-road optimized convertible that you can drunk drive if you want uh after drinking a bunch of buffalo trace or blantons or milwaukee's best or old grandpa or whatever the fuck hitting
Starting point is 00:30:41 the i-10 nothing better there's no streetlights out there. Nobody's going to fucking know. No. Out here in San Antonio, you can go 100 miles an hour and you can smash right into a state deputy and no one gives a shit in a Jeep Gladiator 2020. That's right.
Starting point is 00:30:54 Or 50 grand if you prefer cash. Now, me personally, I'd take the cash option, but I'm not. Yeah, I mean, you'd be hard-pressed to find me driving around in a Jeep pickup truck. So, I mean, I'd be hard-pressed to find me driving around in a Jeep pickup truck. So, I mean, I'd probably take the cash as well.
Starting point is 00:31:11 So, when you get the Ridge Wallet, you're going to be back knowing that they got 40,000 five-star damn reviews. Lifetime warranty. And if you can test drive it or slide it in your front pocket for 45 days. You don't like it. Send it back for a full damn refund. They don't give a shit. I'll give you your money right back. It's got an RFID chip in it. So you are blocked from digital thieves and pickpocketers, which I deal with on a day-to-day basis as a sort of matrix style hacker.
Starting point is 00:31:39 So again, you're going to want to head on over to Ridge.com slash Pendejo and use coupon code Pendejo, P-E-N-D-E-J-O, for 10% off anything on the entire store. Thanks for checking us out, partnered with the Ridge Wallet. All right. It's important. I need to get one of those, actually. I was thinking about it because— Dude, they're sick.
Starting point is 00:32:02 They sent me one. Nick said that he actually liked them, and predominantly I really only carry around cards yeah they have like a like a lot of money clips are kind of just like bleh yeah but they sent me one like in a swag swag box and uh they're pretty nice they're nice dude they have a i want that titanium one yeah i have carbon fiber one too don't they have a carbon fiber one too, don't they? They have a carbon fiber one. And then I have the tropical Boogaloo style aluminum. Oh, hell yes.
Starting point is 00:32:30 Did it come preloaded with Ethereum? Yeah, and a Magpul 22LR. Oh, yes. With a Holosun on it. Yeah, I got that one. They only sent me that one. I'm but I have to get another for Tomas. But, yeah, dude, they're sick. I had a Steve Harvey wallet before.
Starting point is 00:32:53 It's the only gift my dad ever gave me, and I'm not kidding. What the hell is a Steve Harvey wallet? It's a wallet from the dollar store, and it says Steve Harvey on it. Oh, okay. Yeah, literally that's what it is. Very simple description for that. I didn't expect it to be like – I thought it. Oh, okay. Yeah, literally that's what it is. Very simple description for that. I didn't expect it to be like, I thought it would be something else. You thought I was using it as a descriptor.
Starting point is 00:33:11 No, that's exactly what it is. It'd be pretty funny if you had a wallet, like a Steve Harvey wallet, and every time you opened it, it did that little meme from Family Feud where he just goes, Like that. Dude, I love that video, man. Dude, you know what's funny is in the wallet, when he gave it to me he was like you need a new wallet i was like no he's like i got this and he gives me his wallet it's just like i said it's a fake leather wallet that has steve harvey on it and like die
Starting point is 00:33:36 cast metal inside of it is where is where you'd put your emergency information dude and i swear to god your emergency information is on a cardboard like like piece of particle board thick card and you put like your date of birth your emergency contact and under it is steve harvey's celebrity signature which like if i'm a paramedic okay and i come up with confusing thing dude if i if i come across a guy in his mid-20s who just flipped his jeep gladiator over after drinking a bunch of blantons and i open his wallet up to get his id to identify him and i see a piece of cardboard that has his mother's name on it next to a signature of steve harvey i'm gonna
Starting point is 00:34:17 die myself i'm gonna have a fucking heart actually if i found that you're like well this guy can't be up to nothing good yeah like there's I hated that guy this guy doesn't need to be saved I watched him at that night at the Apollo and I don't trust him I haven't been the same since
Starting point is 00:34:34 I uh I I don't know why that was in there and I also don't know when he handed me that, I don't even think he knew what it was,
Starting point is 00:34:47 but I'm like, is Steve Harvey selling these or is he just doing the celebrity thing where you hire some, like, sweatshop and you just slap your name on something and then they just crank out, like, one million pieces of dog shit? Like, it has to be this. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:35:01 That's probably the option that it was. Yeah. It tends to be all of it. I think I'm going to do that for Pendejo Time. We start making real money, I'm going to have a Pendejo Time wallet that has a card in it, and it just is a DNR card,
Starting point is 00:35:17 so do not resuscitate. It's like, hey, if you get hit, or if you get hit with some rounds at the range or smashed into by a Mack trucker, if you kill yourself, just slide this bad boy in your wallet. You'll make sure nobody will save your ass. The Pindeo Time wallet should actually be, like, it should be made of so many straw hats that it's bulletproof. I think that that would actually be the way to do it.
Starting point is 00:35:38 It's like, yeah, like, it's just like a burlap sack encased in, like, wheat. Yeah. Yeah. It comes with $1 in it rolled up. That would be a good extra gift, though. If you actually marketed something like that, people would love that. Dude, I feel like, I mean, honestly, now that you think about it, if I was like one of those barstool syndic guys we were talking about earlier, I would absolutely, like, even if it was like. $3.
Starting point is 00:36:06 Like $3 rolled up like a wink wink. you get it like haha like we're doing we're doing drugs out here but uh yeah those guys should get on that now if you sell a million items then you're kind of fucked but i don't know if that's actually your bottom line is really fucked up uh you just start doing a fake dollar when i was a kid my favorite i had um i had this neighbor when i was uh i was like eight years old which is way too early to be understanding what he gave me but like this neighbor gave me like a fake bill and it was bill clinton in the center with a bruised eye and like frowning. And it had everything to do with like the Monica Lewinsky thing. I can't even remember it now.
Starting point is 00:36:55 But like it's it was like in something we lose trust or something like that. And I I hung it on my wall and my parents never said anything. I don't know why they never said anything. But I was like eight years old and I had this like fake Bill Clinton trashing bill just hung up on my wall with like a push pin. And that stayed there, I want to say, until I was at least in eighth grade and just started like rearranging posters and actually having like some sort of semblance of interests in life. of semblance of interests in life yeah i there was a i had a neighbor who i was like a latchkey kid kind of and so i would just like spend a lot of time at the house with myself after school and there was a neighbor while i was really young i would ride the bus home and uh he was an old guy that lived next door and we had a really low fence and every time i come home from school he would uh like give me me a plate of cookies.
Starting point is 00:37:46 And he'd be like, how was your day? And I would be like, it was a cool day, old man. Thanks for the cookies or whatever. And this was when I was spending weeks with my dad or whatever. Back when my parents were split up. And so I'd tell my dad about this. And he would be like, what? Like this went on for a bit.
Starting point is 00:38:03 And I never thought it was weird until one day i brought up to my dad and i was like the neighbor across the street like feeds me cookies every day we talk for like a couple hours he's super nice and he's like excuse me and i was like yeah benny from next door old man brings me cookies we talk he's like i'm gonna hang out or whatever if you ever want to and he was like give me one minute like stay in the house he like comes back and he's like do not talk to that motherfucker no more and i'm like what like like when you're a kid obviously you're not thinking like you don't there are certain things you don't have to wear with all four and i was like dude of course i'm gonna keep talking to him he gives me cookies i'm like a dog at this point you give me treats and like a big thing of milk.
Starting point is 00:38:47 Like, brother, I'm in. I don't know what's going to happen after. And he was like, no more talking to this motherfucker. And then like obviously I hit like 11 and I was like, oh, something really traumatic almost happened. The worst thing in the world almost happened to me. Little did he know that later the same thing would happen and he enjoyed it. Well, I mean, it's just like, I don't know. Kids being like, just being a stupid kid, you know, it's like, is that all it takes?
Starting point is 00:39:17 Like, I guess I'm a cheap date. I'm like, just three shitty cookies and like a glass of like room temperature, 2% milk. Yeah, I guess that's me, man. You got my number on that one. I just want to say I found this bill. And on the front is Bill Clinton with a bandaid on his head. And he has a bruise and he's frowning. And on the back is a U-Haul truck driving up to the White House.
Starting point is 00:39:41 That says the embarrassed state of America. You had it from when you were a kid? Yeah, I don't know you kept it after all these years i found it because i recognize this thing because i've definitely had this thing in my possession for several years it says the embarrassed states of america they got the wrong boy not i i don't know man i have no idea but i don't know what now like now that i'm thinking about this you've've just unlocked a memory in this. By the way, it's currently worth 50 cents if you want to buy one of these things.
Starting point is 00:40:10 So it's less than the value. It's a $3 bill, and it's less than the value of the printed dollar. Dude, he seems to be chilling so hard despite the fact that I was really young when that shit went down. I was like six. But getting older older it's like okay up until two years ago well I mean if you spend a lot of time on the internet you knew about it but to the general public like up until two or three years ago his biggest scandal was the Lewinsky thing and then like the Epstein stuff arises and you know it's like man you were like
Starting point is 00:40:42 the most evil guy who ever lived. But I see him on like, he's doing shit for like the world health organization. Like, yeah, he's like a bulletproof dude. Like it seems like strolling the beach in public. Yeah. Hanging out.
Starting point is 00:40:53 And it's like, dude, you are one of the worst monsters this world's ever seen. Like how, how have you not, Ashley's cooking curry. Is that onion? I think my eyes are going to out i'm like i'm over here
Starting point is 00:41:07 like actually you gotta calm it down with the cumin fucking kill the poor guy uh yeah i was just thinking the other day i was like i saw him some dude he looks like dog shit i guess he looks so bad the one that i'm thinking of is where he was strolling with hillary on the beach and they both look like those kids that got turned into blueberries in Willy Wonka. Well, he looks like the kid that got stretched out. Yeah, it was like... Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was like, what the fuck is this?
Starting point is 00:41:33 Yeah, I don't understand. He was on... He was doing like a pleading to the American people like, you need to go do this. If you don't do... And I'm like, dude, you look like... First of all, forget about what you've done i don't want you to tell me about health when you look like the fucking crypt keeper man like
Starting point is 00:41:50 forget about the fact that you might be the devil and your wife is like one of the most evil people on planet earth you don't get to tell me i am vaccinated okay i don't need to hear shit from you a b like a gust of wind, dude, and you're fucked. Like, for a while it seemed like he was going to hang in there. It seems like he just loses 20 pounds per year. But he's got all manner of magics and evil. I found it. Keeping him alive.
Starting point is 00:42:14 I just sent it to you. Oh, you just sent it to you? Okay. God, she looks like... I don't even know how to describe what the fuck is happening with her legs. Look at that. Like, she didn't even look like that two years ago i don't think at least i mean he kind of looks like he looks like one of my grandparents who passed away actually so i don't know that's actually kind of strange but like uh he but she i don't know what the hell is she's wearing the jacket and covering her hooves up, dude.
Starting point is 00:42:46 That's what's going on here. Yo, Clive Owen is going to play him in a movie? No. What does that say? No. It says, Clive Owen to play Bill Clinton in an impeachment American crime story. So I think that's the TV show that's coming on FX. The shoot-em-up guy?
Starting point is 00:43:02 Yes, the shoot-em-up guy. Dude, I love that fucking the TV show that's coming on FX. The shoot-em-up guy? Yes, the shoot-em-up guy. Dude, I love that fucking movie, man. I love that you referenced that movie and not the millions of other amazing pieces of cinema he's ever been in. You referenced the one movie that somebody me and your age when we were 18 was like, nah, this is the movie I want to see with him. Yeah, yeah. And Pachi Amadi. Of course.
Starting point is 00:43:26 And the lady from The Matrix were like revolutions or whatever with the baby no the only two movies of his that i like remember and i'm like yeah like those were good as like shoot him up was just good to watch while you took graph bong hits like before senior year and then like children of men that was like one of those movies when you're like first getting into movies. Inside Man. In high school. Yeah. And you're like. That was my movie with him.
Starting point is 00:43:48 I think I'm sort of basic. I think mine was Fight Club or maybe. Well, with him, I mean. Oh, yeah. With him. Yeah. I'm thinking. Great.
Starting point is 00:43:57 But my first foray just into good filmmaking, probably other than like No Country for Old men, which I kind of came out at the same time, but like inside man was fantastic with him. Yeah. Yeah. No, that's a great one. I think mine was either fear, like just in general,
Starting point is 00:44:15 like fear and loathing, which I like when the first time you watch a movie and you're like, Oh shit. Um, also fuck, um, sideways on other Giamatti. Good one. Sideways. Another Giamatti good one. Sideways was a good movie, but when I was a kid, I just couldn't get into it.
Starting point is 00:44:30 I think the first time I watched it was with my parents when I was 14. Same. And I just remember that one dude plugging away at the one woman on the bed. And I'm like, I don't really. Yeah, Sandra Oh. There you go. And I was like, ah. Dude, I think every guy within our age range had the same experience when you're because i've talked to other people where i'm
Starting point is 00:44:48 like oh we'll talk about sideways and how it was like one of our first like when you're a 14 15 year old kid and you watch a drama like an actual good drama for the first time and you're like oh shit that was enjoyable and then we start talking about it i'm like were you watching that with your parents and they're like dude yeah and i'm like so the scene went and they're like uh-huh and like sandra oh yeah and there's like what happened and i was like my mom like paused the movie movie and like made me go in the other room because my mom's like super concerned i was like mom like dude i'm in my prime years like i'm in my prime this is nothing i'm on i'm 15 like i'm i'm fucking raring to go lady yeah bring her out on TV right now.
Starting point is 00:45:26 Oh, the shit that I was just like, I'll show you my penis. Unfettered access to the internet from age 12. It's like, dude, a little bit of side tit. I didn't have all that. My parents didn't pause a movie. They didn't do stuff like that, but I didn't really have cable
Starting point is 00:45:43 or unfettered access to video like like quality tv video games or the internet until i think we got cable when i was like 13 or 14 yeah i would later realize that was also a symptom of the fact that i don't think we had the money for it but my parents like strictly did not allow me to have like a TV video game thing until I think I was out of elementary school. Yeah, which personally I want to say after I've done a lot of jobs, I've been around, you know, I was a teacher for a little bit before I got into my career. my career and personally i want to say i think it led to better more balanced development compared to nowadays like where people just have like completely there's an ipad in their two-year-old's hands like instantly and that's what and i've seen good come from that and i'm sure people might say that like somebody's gonna retaliate on me after hearing that but i i've seen good come from that where they're like, no, you don't understand.
Starting point is 00:46:47 Like, that's the only way to keep my kid calm. And that didn't exist those years ago when we're out at a restaurant or something like that. And in those circumstances, I'd probably agree. I'd probably be like, yeah, you're right. But like, you know, the rest of the day is like when you get home from school and stuff like that. Like I had to go outside. And I mean, to be i hate to have that like that stupid like boomer meme mentality like the street lights were my signal to come home not
Starting point is 00:47:11 a cell phone that my mama called me on like but yeah like that was also true though in that when i got done school got done my homework my mom would or my dad or anybody like you know they would be like you know they would toss me a soccer ball or something and just be like, here, go kick this around for a while. And I just watched, I think I had like a, I don't know, man. Like we had a shitty dial up computer that my mom used for her, like, uh, work, like for work. That's what my mom had too when she had to work from home for a period. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:47:45 And so like she was like pregnant with my brother and she was like a receptionist. I think she just did like QuickBooks or something. And I would go on there and I would just go on Newgrounds and shit and like E-bombs world. And I would just see and like. See her first computer was like a terminal. Oh really? So I couldn't do that. Like her.
Starting point is 00:48:02 And I'm by the way I'm not talking like prehistoric era. Like I'm talking like her job had that computer. Yeah. So she would, it's like, she would be on it and it was just like green and black. Like, Oh shit.
Starting point is 00:48:15 So I see what you're talking about. I'm talking. We had the AOL, like you've got male era, like 2001. Yeah, my grandparents had that. And I would go over there.
Starting point is 00:48:22 Oh, and you're just reminding me, like I would play Redneck Rampage. That was so fucking fun as an eight-year-old kid. I would switch from Neopets to Redneck Rampage, and nobody batted an eye. My mother would
Starting point is 00:48:36 come in and be like, what you doing? I'm just like, and you just hear that guy going, I'm like, I'm killing aliens, like, you know. But it wasn't at home, so she knew, like, I could just pull him away from this eventually. So it's not going to rot his brain away. I think I was like, I played a lot of... Little does she know that Redneck Rampage has rotted my brain away,
Starting point is 00:48:54 and I can't stop thinking about that game once every four weeks. I think one that did it for me, and I've talked about it on a couple episodes, is there was... So I played... The normal one I played a lot was called Motherload. The one that I played that was really bad was called Picos. I had a Pico.
Starting point is 00:49:15 It was a school shooting game. Whoa, that's not the Pico I had. No, no, no. It was a game where you literally were like a bullied incel. I was probably like seven years old. You said that when you were eight? Seven or eight. It was like, not incel literally, but it was just like a kid.
Starting point is 00:49:33 We're talking like maybe six or seven years after Columbine, the internet's evolved. People are making Flash games. So it's like discontented youth, and then there's like Rage Against the Machine playing, but like a shitty MIDI version. And you're like reloading and like – and I was like – I just thought I was playing like a shooting game. And then like one day I was like, I'm going to go play the game on the computer, mom.
Starting point is 00:49:56 And she's like, oh, what game are you playing? I'm like, oh, you go to a school and you kill a bunch of people. My mom was like, no, you're not playing that game anymore. We are not yeah yeah like that was it was look it was a formative in my life insofar as i think i'm pretty i'm all things considered somewhat well i think i'm kind of well adjusted i'm not too fucking out there you know at least you've been doing pretty good especially after playing ea sports dylan klebold and eric harris adventure
Starting point is 00:50:25 i would say like five years i didn't realize you were doing that when you were seven yeah no i mean dude like it was just like i mean like seven eight nine ten i'm just yeah it's like all those formative years yeah yeah well i mean like dude when you didn't have anything like to do like i so i was never on something awful but i was on the newgrounds forums at like 11 i was too young for that and uh newgrounds was around yeah yeah and i was on there and that was like its own type of bad where it's like people be like hey i made a flash game where you can blow your wife up and somebody's like sick man can you send me that yeah and then like that was basically like what those guys talked about or like bat like i know that like the dude there's
Starting point is 00:51:05 like this weird time loop because day trading is back and i remember when i was a kid the dot com bubble yeah like e-trade or whatever like that shit was huge yes and obviously it's more sophisticated now but like back then well like it is but that's also where all the basics started yeah yeah and that was it like what you're talking about like guys you had all these people like dentists when they would finish at the office or even at the office yeah you know they would be on all those forums learning yeah learning all this and trading with everybody else you are it is a circle because that's what's happening right now especially last year yeah yeah well i mean i dude i had friends of mine who like i saw a friend
Starting point is 00:51:45 hadn't seen in a while and we'll just say he's like uh he's a rough around the edges guy and he's not good with money and he should not have done as well as he did and he was like yeah dude yeah yeah and he was like dude i cleared like so much fucking money on gamestop and we were like out at dinner and i was like that kind of stock or that kind of thing too. Of course. $4,000 down on Conor McGregor knocking somebody out in the fourth round. Then they win $66,000.
Starting point is 00:52:14 They land it. It's that guy who stole your iPod when you were a junior in high school. You're still somehow friends with him after that. Because he was the only guy who lived within like walking or biking distance from your house that like you know wasn't either like 25 years old or just a family he was just like the only other kid to go to his house to listen to your ipod that he stole yeah yeah yeah you could count on for that
Starting point is 00:52:39 uh and he and we were talking and i was like what are are you like? What are you? Because he works construction. He's from my hometown. And I was like, what do you do when that happens? And he was like, oh, when it happened, I just went and got fucked up. And I was like, when? And I was like, this was when GameStop was taking off. And I was like, when did this happen? He was like, three weeks ago. And we were drinking then. And I was like, when did this happen? He was like three weeks ago.
Starting point is 00:53:05 And like we were drinking then. And I was like, so have you been? And he's like, yeah. Like he's basically was just like, I'm going to stay fucked up till this money's gone. And I was like, respect, dude. Well, I mean like, dude, that's like what I imagine because it never happened for me.
Starting point is 00:53:19 I don't have that. We've talked about this. If my money goes into the market, the whole economy would tank. But I don't have that kind of luck. That's how I feel lately. That's because I'm not that guy. Yeah, exactly.
Starting point is 00:53:34 I feel like a lot of those... We just had a lot of guys win small versions of the lottery. People have shown... They talk about it all the time in the news. Winning the lottery ruins a lot of people's lives. Oh, yeah. You had a lot of guys win a lot of little lotteries. And I guess in a way, maybe it like kind of stimulated the economy.
Starting point is 00:53:52 And so far as like you just had like maybe 20,000 guys in a rural county in every state, like just going to the bar on GameStop money or like, you know, AMC money or Nokia money or whatever. They've noted that it happened. They've tried to link that period of time also to some of the stimulus checks that were still coming in the winter. They've noted that there was like a lot of people
Starting point is 00:54:19 around the times where a lot of these very accessible stocks on Robinhood were spiking. A lot of people were also going out and eventually taking that money and spending it places. Interesting. That's cool. won a lot of money and then thought like i'm gonna go be a trader nowadays and like and then they just blow all of that because they realize that long term it's it's not what a lot of people think it is and it's a it's a grueling game war of attrition when you actually want to trade for a long period of time you don't get lucky like that all the time well i those guys that i've seen um like i've gone down i went down a
Starting point is 00:55:06 couple rabbit holes on forums about people who won the lottery and like they like their job well they were like some of them did the smart thing where it's like you invest in like bonds that pay exhaust like 400 000 in interest forever even if you were to lose all your money you like you know you you're investing in basically you're never going to lose your money the only way you would is if the u.s economy and the government were to totally all your money, you're investing in basically – you're never going to lose your money. The only way you would is if the U.S. economy and the government were to totally fucking collapse. You're buying shit that's like a lot of stuff that pays off a little bit. But these people didn't do that. They were like, I bought a Maserati.
Starting point is 00:55:36 I bought a yacht. I bought a fucking – and these are guys that were like, what were you doing before? And it was like, I was working at National Tire and Battery. Like I managed an NTB, and I watched fucking Jerry Springer every night. I woke up in the morning and I had $286 million. Yep. I bought a seat on the west end of the Cowboys Stadium. And now I get to go there once every three months
Starting point is 00:56:01 because I have to share the seat with three other owners because they also paid uh they call it time share seats that's what jerry told us when he pitched it to us uh it's not a depreciable asset as long as the cowboy stadium stays there i still got a seat so i mean i thought it was a pretty good investment for me i mean mean, I would think you would too, you know? Those guys, like, it's so funny, Reed. I would, because obviously, like, all my friends, we all have our, like, lottery fantasies. But those are the kind of, like, sober reminder that, like, I'm not trying to diss, like, poor people in general. But a lot of poor people, myself included. You can. We're all poor here. That's fine.
Starting point is 00:56:41 It's like, a lot of poor people, people who, like, didn't have money growing up, you have poor person brain. A lot of us. Not everybody. Where it's like, lot of poor people people who like didn't have money growing up you have poor person brain a lot of us not everybody where it's like as soon as you get money you spend it so a lot of these people it's like you know you win 280 million dollars and you're like do you know how many jack-in-the-box tacos that is that's that's what 286 million times two that's 782 million tacos or it's like guys go out and they like literally just buy like 55 king ranches and like 18 like they they all the like i'm specifically talking about like redneck rich guys guys that like i knew six javelina hunting trips yeah yeah yeah out of a helicopter yeah with a 50 cal.50 cal fucking Gatlin. With a fucking AR-15 made by Lewis Machine and Tool.
Starting point is 00:57:31 Like, the most expensive rifle I can find. The A-10 Warthog. What's that on the front of the fucking fighter jet that's been around forever? It's like the shark mouth? Oh, the 30 millimeter cannon thing? Yeah. mouth oh the 30 millimeter you mean like a 30 millimeter cannon thing yeah i'll never forget like a very an awakening in my life was watching this dude brian pigman quokka uh who's from texas you got me already on the outdoor yeah brian pigman quokka on the outdoor life network and he's got a show called the pig i think it's called the pig
Starting point is 00:58:07 man uh and he's still he goes he is called the pig man but he he had a show uh he still has a show but an awakening in my life was watching this man go up in a helicopter and just like mogadishu just 15 hogs at once, flying around, strapped. Are you allowed to do that? I don't think you're allowed to. Or I don't know if any listeners will be able to tell us later, but I mean, like, as far as I can tell, it's legal. I've seen it past that. I've seen it recently.
Starting point is 00:58:39 I've seen, you know, there's media on this. You can go and you can watch people do this. Which sounds like some guy. Fortunate son, but just with hogs. people yeah this which sounds like some fortunate son but just like a militia guy's dream because it's something you could actually start gunning down and you don't and you have and they'll run from you or whatever yeah like you know you it yeah it does sound like i am picturing that yeah yeah Music just going up as I go up with my 7-Eleven coffee. It ain't me. It ain't me.
Starting point is 00:59:07 It's my rock. 200-pound pigs. Just chain-smoking fucking Lucky Strikes filterless. It was a good day today. Take me back to Jack in the Box. Yeah. Dude, if I had that kind of money, man. I heard from somebody on the internet that apparently there's a place in Thailand where you can shoot a rocket launcher at a cow.
Starting point is 00:59:26 And it's like – All right. That sounds amazing actually. I kind of want to do that myself. And it's like obviously like you're hanging out with – it's not something that's on Thailand's website. You're hanging out with guerrilla fighters obviously. You're hanging out with guerrilla fighters, obviously. Like, former, like, you know, like, you know, religious zealot who tried to do a coup in 1978 who's, like, 60 years old now.
Starting point is 00:59:52 And he, like, teaches Muay Thai to children and blows up cows. But, like, I was reading online because I had heard it on a podcast. I forget which one. But I went and Googled it because I was like, did this guy just make this shit up? And apparently it is real and guys have done it they like you like you'll be on these weird like fucking hikes obviously middle of nowhere and you'll end up drinking with the locals and this one guy was like with shit like that oh yeah tourists shoot cows with rocket launchers in cambodia it's cambodia okay yeah either way they're all the same yeah but i mean god damn so yeah yeah and so like this guy was like yeah i was drinking at a bar and uh you know we're bullshitting and uh motherfucker tells me
Starting point is 01:00:33 hey uh do you want to go shoot an animal like you want to go hunting and the guy was like oh yeah sure man i love to hunt when tomorrow morning bright and early he's like no right now he was like uh i guess wait yeah he's like you don't need a permit they're just standing there they're not waiting for dusk we don't have a we have a failed government here there's nothing and uh and so like he thought he was gonna go elsewhere yeah yeah he thought he was like all right well like i'm gonna i'm gonna go hunt uh yeah there it is there's i'm gonna go by the way you scroll through this article the first picture it's like a succession of just increasingly more morbidly curious photos one is a guy standing in front of a cow the next is him aiming at it and the third is just a woman
Starting point is 01:01:22 with a fucking tripod mounted and you don't know what she's shooting at but i want to imagine that there's just like 10 cows yeah on the other end that we're just smiling at her previous to that moment yeah that uh i was reading this guy's like it was a like they went under the fucking full-ass thread and i was like totally captivated it's like i was reading a good book anyway he like gets there and he thinks he's gonna hunt like you know whatever kind of fucked up deer they got in the mountains up there and the guy's like all right um you know he pays them in like usd and then they keep drinking and he's like fuck did I get myself into something? And anyway, long story short, they like firing off machine guns and old like USSR era AKs and stuff.
Starting point is 01:02:13 And finally he's like, all right, man, here, you're going to fire this rocket launcher like down the valley. And there's usually some animals around here. Just wait for one to show up. And he's like, fire a what? Like down a what? And eventually he's like, fire a what? Like, down a what? And eventually, he's like, they waited a little bit, drank some more, and finally, like, a herd of, like, he said they looked like cows. It was kind of far down, like, you know, a couple hundred feet or whatever.
Starting point is 01:02:36 And he was like, just fire down in it, near it, don't try to hit it or whatever. And, dude, he fucking said he just fired like at the group and like like just just turned a bunch of cats and i was like hey man you're on like a forum in the states now like you're like you're admitting to something that you probably yeah i don't know the statute of limitations might be fucked up because this was an old ass forum but like like geo cities like fucking way back machine type shit but angel fire yeah i was like dude that is something i would do like if i'm not that specific thing i don't want people to think i'm a crazy person but if i had won the lottery i would think that i would you know we're gonna
Starting point is 01:03:18 get a little buck wild we're gonna run the gauntlet with it uh for a little bit you have to bring me don't tell anybody i was there wink wink you have no pictures you know yeah uh i'm gonna carry around like a jammer on me but i mean yes like you got one of those like like sleeves like those copper sleeves you put a phone in one of those like ankle guards that's supposed to get rid of arthritis. Yeah, yeah. My ankle's bugging with me. Now nobody can report on me over here. I wanted to say thanks to you, Kurt, for coming on. It was a fun one, man. I appreciate you guys.
Starting point is 01:03:56 Do you have anything to plug music-wise? You got anything going on? I don't have anything. If anybody is around in Philadelphia this weekend, Friday I will be helping host at the American Whiskey Convention early in the afternoon around 5 p.m. Sick. Immediately following two hours of spending time there pouring whiskey for boomers and having them tell me something is smooth and creamy. I'm going to go to Dock Street Brewery
Starting point is 01:04:25 where I DJ usually every other Friday. Sick. So that will be happening this Friday as well at 8 p.m. if anybody wants to stop in there.
Starting point is 01:04:33 I don't have any music stuff. I got some releases coming up, but they're not done yet. Finalized. Contractually. Gotcha. Contractually obligated
Starting point is 01:04:41 or anything like that. So I don't really have anything else to talk about on that end. I just wanted to thank you for having me this was actually a good little conversation to have yeah thomas never fucking recovers that's why all right man i appreciate you for coming on thank you buddy see ya bye

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