Plumbing the Death Star - For the First Time in History It's Going to Start Raining Men! Will You Survive the Coming Days?! with James aka Mr Sunday Movies

Episode Date: June 25, 2023

The boys are joined by special guest James aka Mr Sunday Movies and oh no, have you seen the news? The humidity is rising, the barometer’s getting low and according to all sources at about half-past ten tonight, for the first time in history, it’s gonna start raining men! How will you survive the oncoming man storm? With little to no information on what caused said man storm the boys speculate on the nature of this man rain. Is it new men? A mass displacement? Or the global himbofication of all men? Zammit thinks it’s all a blood ritual by Mother Gia herself and has his eyes set for what he thinks is the ultimate goal, JD slanders Dennis Nedry to everyone’s dismay, Jackson goes on his little adventures and ends up with a scorpion wife and James once climbed Mt Kilimanjaro. Batten down the hatches, hope your wife doesn’t like her perfect man and prepare for the greatest cucking this generation has ever seen when this traveling man cloud comes to your town.James probably hosts a podcast or whatever, but more importantly his wife, whose name is Claire Tonti, has an album out you can listen to right now! Matrescence is available on all good streaming platforms AND she’s going to be in the UK all July so go check out clairetonti.com to grab your tickets. You can also listen to his wife’s podcast Suggestible where Claire and her husband chat about things to read, watch and listen to. They have never once suggested this podcast nor should they.Buy our terrible merch here and check out the Bad Brain Boys on Apple Podcasts at apple.co/badbrainboys. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Ahem, ahem. You're listening to the Sandspant Network. Hey everyone, and welcome to this week's episode of Plumbing the Death Star. I'm Joel. I'm Jackson. And I'm also Joel. And today we are joined by a very special guest, James, a.k.a. Mr. Sunday Movies. A.k.a.

A.k.a. That's right. K.A. You nailed it. Yeah. You were right the first time. A.k.a. I'm excited.

This could be a very sexy episode. It could be. It already is. Because that's why I fucked up saying A-K-A, because it was flustered. Yeah, very steamy. Because this is the podcast where we ask the important questions like, it's raining men. How would you survive? I thought you got to frame it like a question. It's raining men? it's raining men. How would you survive? I thought you got to frame it like a question.

It's raining men? It's raining men. Is it? Is it? Is it? This is the first time in history you're going to start raining men. Will you survive the coming day? I was going to say... Dice?

Yeah. Oh, my God. It doesn't stop. Once it starts, it's relentless. Yeah. First question I have to ask about the men rain. Yeah. Is it new men?

That was my question. Well, we don't know. But I do know that when it starts raining, that we're going to get absolutely soaking wet. Okay. Yeah, so it's water and men? Well, I don't know if we're getting soaking wet through their men, like water men, or when they hit the floor, the ground,

and they burst like a balloon. Are we going to be coated in sticky wet blood? Men gore. Like the other song, let the bodies hit the floor. Exactly. That's sort of It's Raining Men from another perspective. So I guess, look, you've figured it out. It's the song It's Raining Men.

Yes. Which we realized goes into incredible detail about the start of the men storm. It feels like there's a time given. It feels like the weather girls, maybe this song is prophetic. They had a vision of the men, right? Who would know this? And why are they like, this is great

actually. Yeah, they love it, which is scary. Well, I guess it's a natural occurring phenomena when humidity rises to a certain level and the barometer goes low. What does that mean? You tell me. Well, the low barometer, I guess it's a natural occurring phenomena when humidity rises to a certain level and the barometer goes low. What does that mean? You tell me. Well, the low barometer, I guess it's high humidity but low temperature. Okay.

That's what the barometer measures. Yeah. What does the barometer measure? Have you done your what does a barometer do episode? Does anyone know? Yeah. It measures atmospheric pressure. Okay, so it's low pressure, high humidity, man rain.

Okay, gotcha, gotcha, good. If it's Newman... Whoa, from Seinfeld? Newman. That's what you say as a body explodes in a shower of gore in front of you. Oh, that's good, I hated that guy. He was always annoying Jerry. He was, wasn't he? Yeah, he was. Shut the fuck up, Newman. He was you. Well, that's good. I hated that guy. He was always annoying Jerry. He was, wasn't he?

Yeah. He was. Shut the fuck up, Newman. He was a stinker, dude, Newman. Just deliver your mail. He didn't even do that well. Like, Jerry sucks, but, like, he doesn't suck. Newman sucks more.

Newman's a bad, but Newman's so lonely, you know? But he's like the, you know, like, when you look at a lonely person, like a pathetic man, and you're like, there's two different types. There's like, I feel bad for you all. You've done this to yourself. Get away from me. Newman's the second one. He's a loathsome kind of lonely.

That's true. And also, I can't help but think that Newman from Seinfeld would do the same thing as Wayne Knight's character in Jurassic Park, which makes me loathe him more. He'd sell us out for a buck fifty. No, come on. That was justified. I agree. It was justified. He wasn't getting paid.

He did the whole security for Jurassic Park. Oh, yeah, that's true. And he doesn't get paid. Shit. How is there being like, work faster, fatty? Yeah. The only reason you got this job is because I'm not paying you properly. What do you think of that?

Exactly. Stop eating donuts, cunt. And then he's like, fuck this. I'm stealing this guy's dinosaurs. I think we'd all have the same thoughts. You know fucking what? I'll look for my own fucking Jurassic Park. This guy underpays me, overworks me, belittles my weight. Yeah. Fuck this guy.

This other guy's offering me a lot of money. The first thing they say when he disappears is, check the vending machine. Oh, come on. Come on. And if he's there, how long is he there for? It's been 40 minutes. He must be at the vending machine.

Even when I'm dying and bleeding out, they still take time to mock me. Yeah, I know. You know, that's a joke. That's what they're saying. They're like, let's make a goof about his weight before we try and track him down. It would be funny if they found him, like, stuck in the

vending machine. We thought you were stealing the dinosaurs. How? Just candy! Why would I need dinosaurs for? I wouldn't even begin to know how to steal a dinosaur. That's true. That is also a stupid, oafish part of his plan. How the fuck are you gonna steal

a dinosaur? How does that play out in any other way than what actually plays out in the movie? Exactly. Absolutely. Anyway, okay. And it was raining. Anyway, it's a raining man! Well, it was a raining man on Jurassic Park, thank God. It's so good to have an expert of the segue in here. We'd have been lost in a

white night hole for the rest of the episode. What has he done? He was in the Punisher war zone. Oh no, the way night hole! I think it is new men. Okay. Because I think these are men that have been manifested by Mother Nature because

she's a single woman too. As the lyrics state. Yeah, so apparently Mother Nature fucked off to heaven and she did what she had to do. I don't know what that is, but she taught every angel and she rearranged the sky so that each and every woman could find her perfect guy. So it's raining men. So for a brief moment, Mother Nature ascends to the heavens, makes some kind of deal with the angels.

If Mother Nature wasn't already in the heavens, where the fuck was she? Earth. I guess nature is on Earth. That does make sense. Here's what I fear is being described in this song. Mother Nature goes to heaven, gets every dead guy. Like a reverse rapture is happening. You don't want weird history, guys.

This guy's like ancient Greek. He doesn't know what he's saying. Imagine that, you die. He doesn't know what he's saying. That's what happens when you go to Africa. Well, you know who could come back? Wayne Knight from Jurassic Park. That's true.

That's true. I wonder if they're getting like the sexiest men or is this like a work for the doll thing? It's just like, listen, you've been in heaven for a while. You need to pay your way. We're going to send you back down to earth. Hope you land somewhere high up. Every woman's perfect guy.

So for a brief moment, I guess they see they envision their perfect male whoever that might be before they just fall past. It's a kind of cruel trick Mother Gaia is playing in the Women of the World where she's like, there's your perfect man. White bread puddle.

Well, should we do the thing that we do every time we do a song episode and just go through the verses and try to figure out what's going on? So we have covered the first. Also, it's worth noting that the lyrics I have in my hand are the Jerry Halliwell version, which differs slightly from the original, but it's the one that I would say- Much?

So, okay, we'll go with, hi, where are your weather girls? Okay, so that's where it changes, because the weather girls is the name of the original act. Yeah, so what does Jerry say? Hi, where Jerry? Jerry starts with the pre-chorus. She ditches the intro. Okay. But you need the intro because it it's got the line leave those

umbrellas at home all right which if a man landed on me one of the umbrellas doing nothing and there you are dead you are dead from being crushed you didn't pay all it for like the man first then you'd get crushed that's true that is true so and also there the weather girls said that have we got news for you. You get ready, all you lonely girls, and leave those umbrellas at home. So they're kind of giving a pre-warning to the men, Rain. I've had a look at both songs now. There is a difference.

Jerry adds a part of the song, too. So now we've got the Weather Girls version. Did she do a rap in the middle? It's over the bridge, so I guess it's probably pretty close to that. That's great. Or it'll be spoken word. I'll read what it says. So this isn't in the original, but I guess it's probably pretty close to where we are. That's great. Or to be spoken word. I'll read what it says. So this isn't in the original, but I guess we'll combine the both to figure it out.

Maybe it happened twice. Yeah. It's a different perspective. I feel stormy weather moving in about to begin. Hear the thunder. Don't lose your head. Rip off the roof and stay in bed. So the man lands in bed next to you.

Instead of hitting the hard asphalt or pavement A comfortable bed Tiles or Tiles floor Do we know how high the men are falling from? From heaven That's pretty high What's the closest to heaven? Like the clouds right?

Would be like Yeah but so what I mean is say oh like the closest point yeah on earth what's the closest point well it used to be the tower of babel but uh they they changed that they changed it yeah god apparently wasn't happy about it well so okay kind of a prick yeah yeah my question is if it's a global men rain yeah, and a man falls from heaven on to say the top of Mount ever Yeah, will they sustain less damage, but then you're on Everest Hunk of a man a trade that an Everest and then a mountain climb against the top. It's like what happened What'd be like that guy that real- life guy That's dead on Everest That they can't move

All of them There's so many Just this year It's like a hundred Green Green boots Green boots The one that they left there

And he is now like A part of it Yeah So people know where to go That would I can't tell if that would Fuck me up Or if I would just be

In the zone to climb Everest Yeah if you're an Everest guy You don't care about human life Yeah You don't care about human life I guess. You don't care about human life. What gives you to care about your own life? You just gotta get to the top

of that fucking mountain. And then get back down again. Yeah, that's the tricky part. died on the second part. Most people die coming down mountains. Going up's easy. Oh, yeah.

Yeah? Well, I climb Kilimanjaro, not too far back. Whoa! But yeah, it's a little bit easier than Everest. Yeah.

By quite a lot. It's more of a walk. But yeah, going down sucks little bit easier than Everest. Yeah. By quite a lot. It's more of a walk. But yeah, going down sucks. Is it because you're just knackered from climbing? Your knees, I found, just that impact of you're stopping yourself the whole time, whereas up it's... Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Scary. Yeah, not a big deal. Yeah. Yeah, not a big deal. Man, nothing to brag about. So we'll move on. Well, we don't really like this. So it's basically five days in all.

Have you ever thought about climbing a mountain, Jackson? You love hiking. I do like hiking, but can you imagine? Well, knowing, and I don't know if listeners know this, but recently you've become quite a fan of hiking. Yeah. And during the Australian summer where it's warm, become quite a fan of hiking yeah and during the australian summer where it's warm yeah you've decided you have this i like perfect vision of like how you want your hike to go you want to have an overnight hike yeah where you take uh what sorry not a tent a hammock okay because it's lighter

it's lighter to take a hammock um you need to you don't have a hammock that uh we'll ask him some questions first you've got a hammock yeah okay now We'll ask him some questions first. You've got a hammock. Yeah. Okay. Now, do you bring, say, a couple of stakes that you can put the hammock to? No, tied to two trees. Of course, of course, of course. Two perfectly distanced trees. Now, with two perfectly distanced trees,

now, do you have something like, say, a mosquito net or anything like that you'll be draping yourself over? The specific hammock I have does have a mosquito net. Okay. And also it's got a cover so you can zip yourself up like you're in a banana. Unopened. What are they called? The one-man tent things. The swag?

Yeah, like a swag, right? Yeah, but you hang it between two trees. Yeah, they're too heavy. Like an actual swag is like, not a big deal. But I know this, but yeah, it's way too heavy to like hike with. But a hammock? A hammock. In summer? And every time you've been hiking and you've set up somewhere to camp, how many trees have you found perfect distance from?

Well, since I got the hammock, and I didn't bring the hammock on my most recent overnight hike because it was too heavy. How heavy is this hammock? Well, just on top of everything else, on top of the tent and stuff. Because I need a backup. Are you rucking? Is that the situation?

Huh? Rucking is like heavy pack walking. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Cause I need a back up in case. Are you rucking? Is that the situation? Huh? Rucking is like heavy pack walking. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's me and friend of the show Adam, we're rucking. And I didn't bring the hammock cause it's too heavy. Cause I need the tent as back up and I didn't know if there'd be trees equidistant. Yeah, that's fair enough. But there weren't.

At the campsite we were gonna go to. I'm assuming your hammock is adjustable in terms of like, there's a bit of give there. Well, here's the thing. How much? My friend says I've never set it up. I'm like, you've got to do a trial run at home. There's no trees. Equidistant.

Fuck. Go to a park. I don't want to be the freak at a park setting up my hammock. And also. How embarrassing. It was only after we ridiculed you that you decided to take your tent as a backup. Yeah. You were just going to...

Go nuts. I guess if it does cover up... Also, I'm rocking. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's right. I'll just sneak into his tent. Exactly. His tent's tiny, though,

so it would suck. I guess imagine you in the middle of the night while it's like a freak shower bitten by mozzies coming out and you're just like, Adam, can I sleep in the tent as he zips it tighter Adam no

zipping a tent tighter is tighter impressive anyway I guess like I didn't know that it was like similar situation

to a swag so I guess if you can't find a tree you can just sleep on the floor I mean yeah it won't be comfortable but I can do it

yeah it's like on a fucking anthill well wake up covered in ants. The last hike I did with Adam Adam got attacked by leeches. And I, well I did too.

But it was more embarrassing than he got. How would the hammock have saved you? Didn't you get it from walking? I got a pie the leeches can't get. It was at the campsite. Don't they fall? Some do. Oh, damn.

I didn't think of that. But you're in the fly. Yeah. But Adam was in a tent. Yeah, well, he still got caught. Yeah, which makes me think that maybe you still would have got caught. Yeah, maybe. We don't know.

How'd they get through the tent? Huh? How'd they get through the tent? I don't know. They were just in his tent. Sounds like he bought leeches. Sounds like he had leeches pre-going into a tent I don't know if A leech could unzip a tent

Or did he leave the leeches This cannot be true We went on a hike like six months prior Where there were heaps of leeches And Adam was like It's probably a leftover couple of leeches And I was like I don't think leeches can survive Inside a tent for six months.

Oh, damn. Leech eggs or something? I don't know. Adam's tent is full of leeches. But you also said your tent was full of leeches. There were leeches outside my tent. They weren't inside my tent. Were they on Adam's body that he hadn't noticed for six months?

I don't know. Were they, if they were outside, did they just crawl up Adam's pants when he was setting up the tent? And then he took them into the tent? Leeches live two to eight years. Whoa! Maybe Adam was right. That's crazy.

Hang on, I'm going to find out without food. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Leeches should be fed about once a month, but can go up to six months without food. Maybe he was right. That's crazy. Those fucking starving leeches. They would have had to have been in there if he zipped it up, right? Because you don't, like, unzip it and they, like, ha.

That's true. Yeah, they can't just eat it. That's crazy. That's so scary. All right, yeah, fuck. I made fun of Adam in the moment. I'm going to apologize to him. Hey, man, those leeches were probably there from last time.

I also reckon your six months is exaggerated slightly as well. Because you were going for hikes pretty frequently. Yeah, but the leechy one was a while ago. That was the hike where we accidentally spent $200. No, $400. At what? Was there a kiosk? Jackson's really good at being swindled and not paying attention to anything.

Yeah, if you were making a pyramid scheme i know like person one you should go after we were going up into the mountains and to get to this particular trail we had to go through a ski resort and we walked in and they were like it's going to be 160 entry for an overnight thing we were like but we're not staying at the resort we're actually just passing through to get to a campsite that's not part of the resort and they were like sorry to come in here and park, that's what you got to pay. And we were like, okay. And then we walked in and we parked and we went up to the side to find the trail to our

trail. And a guy approached us and he was like, you cannot use our trails because you don't have the appropriate boots and you'll wreck the ski resort trails by walking through. And we were like, oh, okay. And he's like, so you just can't do this hike. What? And we were like, that's cool. He was like a ranger or something. And then we turned around and we're like, oh, okay. And he's like, so you just can't do this hike. What? And we were like, that's cool. He was like a ranger or something.

And then we turned around and we're like, can we get a refund? Because we've been here for 10 minutes. And he was like, yeah, just email them. And Adam emailed them four times and called them twice. And we never got a refund. And then we went to the town of Walhalla because we're like, I guess we'll just hike around here. And at the town of Walhalla, they have a train, like a little steam train that goes between two little country towns. Nice.

And it was nighttime. It was like 6 p.m. And we're like, well, we're pretty disappointed we didn't do the hike. But let like a little steam train that goes between two like little country towns nice and it was night time it was like 6 p.m and we're like well we're pretty disappointed we didn't do the hike but let's take the steam train they're doing a night train that's crazy and it's only like 25 each and i was like i'll pay for it or whatever and then i put down my card and i saw 90 go through uh when i paid and they were like yeah that's because it's the night train and you get a hot water bottle and a blanket the blanket was full of holes and the hot water bottle was lukewarm. And then we got attacked by leeches. That was the leech trip.

Where were you carrying to get leeches? What the fuck is a grug? What the fuck is this story? Going on your little adventures. Like a children's book. Except where the... We also spent $60 on chains for the tires of the car

That we didn't need And they were like They're gonna check When you go through the ski resort And they were like You got chains? And we were like Yeah

And they were like Okay So we didn't need that either What's wrong with your boots? I don't know We didn't They were like You need to either have

Cross country skis Okay Like for Or snowshoes Right And we were like We have just hiking boots And they were like it's not happening buddy

you gotta turn around do you think that any of this could have been stopped by simple researching for 5 minutes well I'll tell you the reason we're going through the ski resort this is Adam's fault so you can also take the trail from Walhalla cause it goes from the ski resort down to Walhalla

there's a place called Mushroom Rocks in the middle you can go from Walhalla up to Mushroom from the ski resort down to Walhalla, there's a place called Mushroom Rocks in the middle. You can go from Walhalla up to Mushroom Rocks. That's where we wanted to camp. Adam was like, but there's not enough water sources. I was like, there's a creek. And Adam was like, I don't trust that creek, but there's a water source from the ski resort, so we'll do it that way. And I was like, I think it'll be okay from

Walhalla. He's like, also, going from Walhalla is uphill, and I don't want to do that. And I was like, okay, we'll go through the ski resort. But if we'd gone through Walhalla, we wouldn't have paid shit. It would have been maybe $90 for the train trip, but otherwise. Oh my god. That creek would have been fine as well. That creek would have been fine.

If it's running water, you're good. Yeah, I know. I don't know. He was just like, I don't know. It might not be going right now. You're in the middle of nowhere. It was also winter, or maybe the beginning of winter. So it would have been raining. I don't know, man know man anyway we didn't hike for like six months after that because we were so put off was it good the hike just in general you have a good time with it were you mad at each other fun where did you camp to get

in that story we camped at a little campsite about maybe 10 minutes out of Walhalla. So you hiked for 10 minutes? No, we camped at the campsite, and then we hiked a big, like, maybe 20K walk around Walhalla. Yeah. And that is the walk where we got leeches, because we then were like, because it was raining the whole time, we went and sat underneath a little, like, you know, like a little picnic area or whatever. Did you know it was going to rain? Yeah. Okay.

That's all right. We were expecting it, but because the hike we were doing wasn't the hike we expected to do, and it was covered in ferns, and those ferns transferred leeches onto us. Oh, of course. Yeah. Because they had dropped down from there. They dropped leeches. And just quickly, how did the leeches...

So, you got the leeches after camping? Well, yes. We got them for walking. I don't know. So, the leeches can't be... I guess Adam assumed one stayed on his clothes, or that there were leeches just everywhere anyway. Yeah, yeah, yes. I don't know. So the leeches can't be... I guess Adam assumed one stayed on his clothes or that there were leeches just everywhere anyway. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'm assuming when you got back to camp it was kind of dark-ish. Yes. Yeah, and so when you're stripping off and all that kind of stuff, you chuck everything in a corner. A couple leeches crawl into the tent. Oh, so you camped at Well Hollow, then hiked. Well, actually, no, yeah, because we camped, hiked, and then packed up our stuff and left. Yeah, that's what I mean.

In the story, the camping happens after the leeches. I guess Adam assumes either the leeches stay on his body that he missed. He missed the leech. He was feeding them for six months. Or that one got in while we were out hiking. I don't know. Anyway. You've invited me in.

Okay, so this is another fun thing. Jackson likes to burst in after going for a hike and be like, you guys are going to come on the next hike. You should. The amount of notice we get is anywhere between 12 and 24 hours. That's the amount of notice me and Adam got, too. Yeah, but you live like buffoons. Everybody gets the same amount of notice.

You live like buffoons. Oh, yeah, no. One was like, hey, we're doing a hike. And I'm like, yeah, all right, when are you doing it? Oh, tomorrow? Where is it? It was like past Geelong.'re doing a hike. And I'm like, yeah, all right, when are you doing it? Oh, tomorrow? Where is it? It was like past Geelong. Yeah, it was down at Cape Shack Lighthouse.

And where are you? Oh, yeah, I've done that. Yeah, that's a great hike. It's a nice walk, yeah. Eh, I think I've done it once. It's like killing the gyro, but, you know. And it's like, you've given me, so when is it? Like, yeah, tomorrow.

You've given me such little notice. Yeah. And when are you guys starting? Oh, well, probably, you know. I don't know. Adam's going to message me when he wakes up, and we'll figure it out from there. And when are you guys starting? Oh, well, probably, you know. I don't know. Adam's going to message me when he wakes up and we'll figure it out from there. And so we'll get there. Okay.

So you're going to leave at 11. Yeah. And then the hike is how many hours away? Three hours away. Yeah, we'll get home late. Yeah, no one said we're not getting home late. It's no big deal. No, it's just like adding hours on the perfect run.

You're like, no, I won't be home until after midnight. Yeah, well, that's part of the fun, you know? Anyway. It sounds good, honestly. It sounds like a little adventure. Somebody in my corner is nice. I don't know if James is entirely recording that story, but... He just likes his good friend going on the little adventures.

That's right. I go on the little adventures. It's good. I get out, the little adventures. That's right. I go on the little adventures. It's good. I get out, see the world. Well, Victoria. But it's night time, so you don't see shit. I see stuff when I'm hiking during the day. Just 50-50.

Yeah. Anyway, in the memory. Going on back to Man Reign. So it's new men from heaven. Who are these guys? Identify yourself. And it's the first time in history this has happened, but they know it happens at night and happens at half past 10.

That's bad because that means you could be going to bed or you're getting ready for bed, theoretically. If you've missed the news, what if you've got one of those jobs or like you've got young kids where you're like alright I gotta get to bed early because they're gonna wake up at like 4 in the morning you're lying in bed you're like oh something hit the roof

you look outside absolute gore could you like is anyone gonna survive the man reign are the men gonna survive the man reign let's assume that there's some kind of spell or protection I don't know well this is what I? Let's assume that there's some kind of spell or protection. Oh, they're going to survive. I don't know. Well, this is what I was

kind of thinking, that it is some kind of spell. It's still a refugee crisis. I think this is more of a blood sacrifice done by Mother Nature to get her perfect man. I think that Gaia is maybe summoning,

like, you know, getting all these men to fall to the earth, causing some sort of blood ritual so that she can summon some kind of giant celestial being so that she can get the shit fucked out of her. Is that from a different planet? Maybe. It's crazy to imagine. Is there a father nature is what I'm saying?

Well, no, because she's a single woman, too. That's what I mean. And so there's another planet. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This maybe opens a portal. I don't know. Portals are in right now. They certainly are.

So like a Galactus-type being. A multiverse situation. Do you reckon you could survive mentally if you watched a bunch of guys fall out of the sky and then explode, and then you saw a gigantic man guys fall out of the sky and then explode and then you saw a gigantic man fucking a gigantic woman like on the horizon i imagine the giant the giant man was fucking the earth whoa that's awesome well that's harder to see yeah harder to see you just i don't know what you'd see You'd see a belly button Carried toward you on the horizon But if it's big enough

Like Like Earth is big Yes that's true And like Yeah if If someone is Literally fucking the planet

Imagine seeing A gigantic guy's head Coming down as he Like his own face You wouldn't You wouldn't even see his full face No you'd see part of Like a mouth

You'd only see a small part You wouldn't be able to tell what it is. Well, that's if we're assuming that it is, like, us man-shaped. Yeah. That sure could be another planet. It could be another planet. That's true. Also, all that was going to happen is it's going to become dark.

Yeah. If he's kind of, oh, the planet is sort of in space. Yeah. And he's having sex with the Earth. Yeah. You would need purchase for that. That's a great point. So a planet with hands. Well, that. for that. I feel like being weightless.

But if you're weightless, I don't know whether that would impact. Maybe he's using like, he's putting his foot on the moon. Okay, sure. Give you a leverage. He knows he's that good. He's wearing them fuck socks so he gets a bit of grip. Fuck socks. That would be wild to see.

I know you're very excited, but I cannot stress enough that you won't... Satellites might capture it. You won't get to see shit. If you're in like a space station. Oh, the view. Again.

If you're in a space station, you might be able to see it. It would have to be far enough. Yeah, actually, you'd be able to see it from space. Okay, let's role play that. I'll be NASA. You'll be the astronauts in space telling me what you're seeing.

You're Mr. NASA. I'm Mr. NASA. And I'm Mr. Astronaut. NASA is one guy. The rest of the guys are investigating the people collapsing outside. Hello, space station douche. Hello, NASA. You got a report for me?

You see the background, a couple of engineer tech. We're seeing a lot of like some celestial body is entering our atmosphere. What's going on up there? Oh, he's left. Oh, no. Oh, no, it's back in. Sorry, Nasser. I think you're breaking up.

Just embarrassed. I can't say it. I doubt it, I won't. We really need to know what it is. Nothing, I don't think. Well, we think it's something, so can you look maybe out another window? This angle looks like it's probably, don't worry about it. I think it appears to be a giant man.

Huh? Yeah. She must have been better when I didn't know. It's so funny for you to be like, I don't think it's anything. And then I get off the call and they're like, what's the sit wrap? And I'm like, apparently it's all good. They can't see anything. They say it's fine up there.

So I don't know. Maybe it's a glitch in our system. Who can say? What about in the situation where the men land and are fine? It's some spell that protects them. Well, that's what it sounds like. Yeah. So either the population of the earth is pretty much doubling,

or men on earth are getting sucked up into heaven, rearranged, spat back down. Oh, like bimbified or hunkified. Oh, yeah. Oh, that's all alright. Or alternatively just like, because it's like every the whole point of the reigning man thing is so that every woman can find their perfect man.

Yeah. So that means if you're in a relationship where you're like, I'm not 100% on this. You get given a better man. Potentially. And like, you know, you have to assume statistically. Two boyfriends is better than one. Well, is your partner going to stay with you if they're perfect man? Do you think right now you're your partner's perfect man?

I want to say I hope I am. Yeah, there's two married people in the room. You've got to hope, but like perfect man, that's unachievable. See, I've got kids, so I'm like locked in. I say that. You're right. You're right. No one with kids has ever had a divorce. That's what I'm mass cucking.

Here's another horrible scenario. Say it's this, right? And then you get summoned to your ex. Oh, no. We don't get a choice. Yeah. And that's scary. If we get sucked up, I might be the perfect man for someone else.

I can't imagine Everyone else and they're just jettisoned into the middle of nowhere Click, click, click, click. All right, Mr. Scorpion. Time to consummate. Hey, will you guys come to our wedding? I'm holding the scorpion in my hand. No. Presumably, if you're getting hugified, it would also change your brain to be the perfect man. Because if I'm getting up there and spat out, it's not going to send me back like this. It would alter my personality at its core.

That's true. We're going to become perfect. You'll be up there for a while Jackson Mother nature's sweating I just get reconstituted And put into a bunch of other guys We're like okay Hunk hunk hunk scrap that guy for parts

Hunk hunk hunk Okay Can't you marry me to a scorpion That's what we're doing Oh thank Christ Can't you marry me to a scorpion? That's what we're doing Oh, thank Christ Oh, okay Well, it's better than being scrapped, I guess Yeah, so there is a rearrangement of man

Or they were just like, yeah, you could just be grabbing as we are now And like, everyone is someone's perfect someone Everyone's trash is someone's treasure Exactly Mother Gaia is just playing matchmaker with all of Earth. That's a big rearrangement. Yes. That's a lot of changes.

But then also imagine you get paired with someone and you're not happy and you're just like, no, but I guess I'm destined. Yeah. Well, you're my perfect man. Well, you're nice. It's been a pleasure meeting you. man. Well, you're nice.

It's been a pleasure meeting you. I remember some trashy movie I watched years and years ago where the whole premise was that we have devised a way to

find everyone's soulmate. And so at some point you go on, you get a watch or whatever, the watch goes on you and it counts

down to the moment that you meet your soulmate. Okay. And some people are like, oh, it's going to be

in like 10 minutes time. Some is like, oh, it's in six years time. Now someone like, you know, decades, decades away. You can fuck around there. oh, it's going to be in like 10 minutes time. Some is like, oh, it's in six years time. Now, some are like, you know, decades, decades away.

You can fuck around. Yeah, that's awesome. And so everyone is like, there's people who are skeptics. People who aren't. There's people who are like, you know, they start dating. They have the watch. They don't have the watch. They don't have the watch.

Like, let's go get the watch. And it doesn't sync up. They're like, oh, no, clearly not mine. And the whole thing goes on about like, you know, what are we predestined to do? And then, you know, again, it's like, well, I don't care because I'm in in love with you even though my watch is saying it's not you i don't give a shit but then his watch counts down he meets his soulmate and then suddenly it all clicks into place so i think if it's that perfect is this some kind of spell yeah mother nature who's like perfect person sure we're all gonna fall to the ground and be like i don't know if but that's awesome, Hank, just back

to, look, yes, what you're saying, but also this movie. Yes. So the point of the movie is, oh no, you are predestined. Like, the people that doubt it do meet this soulmate and the watch is right. Yeah. Because the main character, I think she has the watch, but it's just kind of like ticking down. There's just no

numbers there. So she's like, where's my soulmate? And the whole premise, I think, was that the person, your soulmate, just hasn't got a watch yet. Oh, okay. Look, also, if I'm getting stripped away from my wife and family and hunkified and just dumped somewhere, I'm going to be single for a bit. I'm going to be like, I got this rad new body.

Mentally, I'm doing well. I'm just be like, I got this rad new body. Like, mentally, I'm like doing well. I'm just gonna see what's out there. I just saw some wild ice water. That's how far you get zapped out to your perfect partner and you're like, see you in a couple of years. I need to try all this out. Yeah, I have not felt this good in such

a long time. At least let me go for a run. Climb another mountain. My God. Explore myself. What's worse? So you get up, you get hunkified, and then you get exactly... Say we just don't get hunkified.

You either go somewhere completely new, you go back to an ex, or you say go up, you get hunkified. And you come back down to your wife. And you've changed, like, physically. And you're like, ah! Ah!

You said you were fun and I gave you a couple of pounds. Oh, this is the perfect man. Wait a second. Blonde! Oh, interesting. All right, fair enough. Why do I look like the neighbor? Big enough, am I?

Well, I guess I am now. That's interesting. What would it do to you if you did come down looking like your neighbor, but you're like, but also I know my wife likes me enough that they didn't want just my neighbor. They wanted me as the neighbor. You know what I mean? That would fuck you up forever. Yeah.

Especially because I know the neighbor's still around. I'd kill him. I'd find him, I'd kill him. I'd have two. I'd kill him and I'd have two families. I would live his life and my life as him. Well, I think if my wife thought like me, she would be like, well, two's better than one.

My perfect man is two men. I can't get him in on a two That's funny I mean somebody's perfect life is multiple men So you might land to be part of a group of five Oh I guess you're my perfect Guess we're sharing We're genets men

What if you're not straight Sexuality is like it's a spectrum All of the lesbians watching being like What the hell are these straight girls yeah what are gay guys what are gay guys doing well i'm reading man it's your perfect man for oh i guess they both go on together oh my god it's like that you know what like that catholic like uh what's the thing where they're rapture they convert you like trying to like oh yeah it's not strictly a, like, what's the thing? The rapture? The convert you. Oh, yeah.

It's not strictly a Catholic thing. What's that thing called? I know the one you mean. That horrible conversion therapy. Is that what's happening? Oh, no. Because I guess if you're gay and then you're somebody's perfect partner, but then you're not.

I just have to assume all the gay guys are going up there and getting extra hits. And then coming back down. That's not fair. Let me just say that. Just making that in him. but then you're not I just have to assume all the gay guys are going up there and getting extra hit and then coming back down that's not fair let me just say that just making out in heaven they go up come straight back down

club scene thriving every straight guy's like we fucked up I wish we were different they're having the best time. My wife has stayed the same. I've got to say it. I'm so beautiful now.

I love her, I guess. She's lovely, of course. But, I mean, come on. Look at this. Look at this. Look at my arms, dude. You have to maintain it also. Oh, that's...

I'm losing so quickly. Yeah. Okay, so... I reckon a couple of hours. Yeah. But if everyone's perfect, man, some people don't want a hunk. That's true.

Some people kind of like a little bit of dab. Yeah, something like a bunch. Some people like a real grub. Yeah, yeah. Like a little grub. A real dirt of a man. A worm boy. Jackson's fingers crossed.

Somebody out there needs a bothonesome cockroach man. Surely. Look like the bad guy from Men in Black. Slightly more normal looking. What about if someone's like furries? You know what I mean? Like tentacles, whatever. You come back and you've got a tentacle at your back.

You're like, oh, no. Oh, my God. You're a dog. Oh, no. What are they saying? I'm running. If I come back as a dog and there's some lady looking at me, I'm like, I'm out of here.

Time to go to the pound. Well, does that mean when I married that scorpion, I was that scorpion's perfect man? I guess so. That's interesting. Well, this perfect guy doesn't say anything about perfect human guy. That's right. Oh, no.

There's a lot of really scary consequences to the It's Raining Men song. what would a perfect, say it's a perfect being, say for you, or like a perfect partner for you, what would be like

ideally, you have a blank slate. You don't, they just, right now it's a morphous blob. You get to mold it how you want. What are we doing?

No, but that would, how many arms we giving? I think if I had to, I'm like Goro. Four arms. Four arms. Four arms. Eight foot tall.

It is just... Ponytail. By Northern Hair. He's in a tournament. He's in a tournament. I think. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fighting for Earthrealm.

No, trying to destroy Earthrealm. My perfect man hates Earthrealm. My perfect man is a ninja. He's blue cold his name's Sub-Zero what if your perfect man is a fucking cartoon

my perfect man is Homer Simpson exactly I've given Homer Simpson life what have I done what if everyone's like

my perfect man is Jon Hamm are we getting many Jon Hamms yeah we're gonna get a lot of Jon Hamms I feel this is gonna be yeah that we getting many Jon Hamms yeah we're gonna get a lot of Jon Hamms I feel this is gonna be

yeah that's great for Jon Hamm's career though no it's the opposite Jon Hamm's losing his job he's no longer Jon Hamm it would be the worst possible thing for Jon Hamm

because Jon Hamm would then realize that everyone loves Jon Hamm and he's squandered his career and now from that point onward he's fucked it

because there's a hundred of them so many Jon Hamms he's flooding the market with him. He could be turned into a frog What about do you think if you saw your partner go away with like the perfect man, like the perfect man, would you just be like, well, I got a cop in. Yeah, I got a cop in. I'd be like, well, in this situation, you've experienced so many things so quickly that you would never have thought possible. I guess you're watching the man reign happening and then at some point, point hours later you're like, oh, when did my wife go?

A man falls in front of you. Your wife is like, oh, my. And then she leaves and you're like, damn. I honestly think that with everything that happened, my brain would be hardened by trauma that any type of emotional pain just bounce off. You wouldn't even be thinking about it. Yeah. You'd forget you had a wife. I'm thinking a witch did it. Yeah, just bounce off. You wouldn't even be thinking about it. Yeah. You'd forget you had a wife. I'm thinking a witch did it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm thinking some kind of like, okay, my wife just got bespelled. Also, why are more men falling? What is this? Yeah. Mother Nature in many ways is a witch, I guess. I can see that. Do you get an explanation?

No, we only get the news report. Yeah, but it's not like this is who's doing it. This is why it's happening. Well, they do say that it's going to be raining men, so be wary. God bless Mother Nature. She's a single woman too. You do, well, the song gives you an explanation. Yeah.

I don't know if this is on the news though. What about this lyric? Do we know this song? Like in the universe? We're like, this is the song. It's raining men. I think this is just the news report. And then I'm like, I thought news was meant to be impartial, but they're using a lot of religious language.

What about the line, the street's the place to go, you better hurry up? Because that, to me... Okay, so this is when they air in this, 10? Yeah, yeah. Well, yeah. Oh, right. Yeah, because it's on the news. They're like, you got to get out onto the street.

But that implies to me that they're not just manifesting in front of you. They are falling into the street, and then you have to go and find your perfect man. Yeah. Right? You don't get one delivered to you like a stork delivering a baby or whatever. But the tear off the roof and the bed thing, though. So some people do. And that also implies to me that they are just falling like a blanket of man down.

And they're like, lift off the roof, because otherwise they're going to just land on the roof and break their roofs or whatever. So you've got enough time to at least dismantle a roof. Yeah, that's a long time. It's hard to take a hold. It's like preparing for the purge. Yeah, exactly. Or it's the opposite of the purge,

where instead of locking down, you open up. Yeah, exactly. What about this? Okay, it's raining men. Now, you might be straight, but just want a good buddy. Do you think we get like a pal? You know, your wife,

she cocks off with some guys. You're like, that's a shame, but some guy's like, dude, that sucks. You want to go grab a drink? How am I perfect man? Nice.

Live the plot of I love you man, but starting different. Cosmic. Yeah, cosmic, yeah. That sort of cosmic I love you man happens to you. Yeah. I feel like this would fuck the economy as well. Oh, yeah. Sort of cosmic, I love you, man, happens to you. Yeah.

I feel like this would fuck the economy as well. Oh, yeah. It's a lot of new guys. You know, look, not that I really care. But I just feel like... It's all going to hell anyway. Why not speed it up? There'd be, like, food shortages.

Yeah, clothing shortages. Are they skilled, these men? Yeah, I don't know. Or are they just beautiful himbos? I don't know. Well, I guess. If they are the perfect men, there'll be a lot of shit men that are all of a sudden out on their ass.

That's true. The incel community is going to go wild. Oh, yeah. That's so funny. But they're even like, look. They're going to implode. We're worried about the economy, but at the moment, politicians are all scumbags across the board.

Like real worm slime men. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Everyone just the fucking worst. New men come in that are perfect. Interesting. Maybe we get new politicians. The economy's okay because it's not run by fuckwits. That's the problem, see?

Because they've got a lot of perfect men. They're going to split the vote. They're all perfect. They're all good. We've got one scumbag who's getting the incel vote. And we're here deciding which perfect which perfect man to vote for. They're all so good. Welcome our new Prime Minister, Johnny Wormfuck.

Prick. Those guys suck. There's no women in politics, I guess, in this scenario. No, because all the men are perfect, so there will be no... Are you perfect from heaven? Yeah, is he far from heaven? No, I didn't think so. You're lovely, but these people are cosmically ordained. I don't know what to say.

Actually, yeah, it's going to create a fucked up society because you're like, hey, you're good for the job, but we've got a heaven guy. Yeah. This man is fully perfect. Yeah. But is he perfect like an ideal being or is he perfect for one specific woman? He's perfect for one specific woman. Yeah. Well, one specific woman would be like, I want a really nice politician.

So he'd be in there somewhere, I assume. Yeah, yeah. He'll get the... Well, that's the thing as well. Like if your ideal man has a set of skills or is in a specific profession, say you want to fuck a dentist, right? Okay. Sure.

Does a dentist land or a guy who has dental skills land? Because he'd have to go to school. Right? Because he doesn't have the qualifications at the get-go. This is why I think it's not new men. I think this is a mass rearrangement. I think this is a mass shuffle of people. Well, there is a part of this that is also a little concerning.

At the end of the chorus, it says, tall, blonde, dark, and lean, which is fine just describing things people would like. Traits people would like. Rough and tough and strong and mean. Oh, no. Mean? There's some dirtbag guys coming in.

Snake from The Simpsons. Oh, I do like a bad boy. Oh, I forgot about the bad boy. So we are going to have bad boys. Oh, no. I'm perfect from heaven, but also I can't. I think there's no,

like, there's no, like, changing of personality. I just think there's going to be a mass rearrangement and you're going to be put in a situation. You just go up, move, go down. Yeah. Like a claw machine.

Or like joining a cult. Yeah. You can be in a different country. You can be in a different, like, state. You can be anywhere in the world. And now it's just like, you are this person's perfect person. And you just got to deal with it? Or can you be like, oh, you're lovely, but I have a wife at home.

Well, potentially. But then it'd be like a- I hope my wife doesn't like her perfect man. But presumably, hopefully. Yeah, I hope my wife doesn't like the guy who's literally- Perfect for her. I'm banking on the fact that we've been together long enough, she just doesn't want tea.

I'm banking that my claws are in deep. Infinity often happens at the start of relationships before people have settled in when it's still new and exciting and not years down the track when things have gotten boring and stale. We've got jaunt happiness and trauma and all of that. We shared memories. It's the same reason why I know what once you have kids, you're safe. Exactly.

Knocking on my front door, a hot guy opening it up. I'm like, well, never mind. I've noticed you've changed the locks. Is there a reason? Is that to stop the men getting it? Oh, honey, I'm sorry. I forgot you existed. She rejects me and I have to go back to my perfect woman.

And I'm like, hey, she didn't want me. So let's give this a crack. And she's like, fuck you. Yeah, you're not perfect for me anymore. They dropped another man while we were gone. Time to go find that scorpion in the tent. Rearrange me again.

I messed this one up, I think. Okay, it's not happening. Well, I guess I'll give up on love. Every woman will be taken from now on.

I wish it was that vague watch movie situation. I don't like this one. I don't even have a watch to tell me damn. What is the percentage here in terms of like a male-female divide? In terms of worldwide? Yeah, good question.

It's pretty much, I think it's slightly more women. Yeah, I think it's like 51-49. That was the start out of my head. I'm not clever though, so I might be wrong. No, that sounds right. And also like a bunch of people like live in a ditch or under a bridge. We don't know about that. Yeah.

There's a lot of secret people out there. What a secret. The sex ratio for the entire world population is approximately 101 males to 100 females. Oh. Okay. So, pretty much. And that doesn't take into account, like, non-binary or anything like that? Yeah, absolutely.

Yeah, yeah. Well, that would be gender assigned at birth, presumably. Yeah. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, those stats would be wrong. Yes, yeah, good point. Good point. What about if the man reign is not directed?

It's just like men coming out of the sky. Just hurtling towards the ground. Pandemonium. Five years on, what is the world like? Are they dying, or is it magic, and they're like, oh, they're dying. Okay, okay, okay're dying. Okay. Man are colliding with the earth and exploding into a ball of viscera.

I was reading about how you survive falling out of an airplane. And it's happened like twice ever that someone has done it. Basically what you need to do is aim for somewhere softish. So not water. Yeah. Not concrete. Bed. Bed is good, yeah. And you hit it at an angle, but preferably though you'd go like through a tree.

And it would break like literally every bone in your body and puncture organs. But it is survivable. So I reckon there would be like maybe a thousand. Yeah. Maybe a thousand. That's an awesome story. And look, like real loose. Like you make sure you don't tense up.

Yeah. And you break your leg. You basically just don't tense up. Yeah. And you break your leg. You basically just shatter your leg. Yeah. There was that person that fell out of an airplane and survived and then got killed by being hit by the ambulance coming to save them. That's true. That was my response too. And then people call me a monster for laughing.

But it's funny. It is funny. I'm laughing at a different thing. That was a story that I heard about 10 years ago and still think about often. It's funny. Oh, man, I've survived this plane, whatever. I'm not dying. I'm not dying.

I'm not dying. I'm not dying. There's people here to save me. Oh, the ambulance. Oh, I know these fellas. They're going to save my life. Yeah. That's God being like, yeah, I fucked up on this one.

I wasn't watching. You should be then. Well, okay. So the only thing I can kind of relate, it raining men and them dying, or all of it is like this raining men viscera is the end of Magnolia. Oh, yeah. Where it rains frogs. Okay.

That also happens in Fargo, doesn't it? No, no, it's fish in Fargo. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And there has been real world cases, I think, where there's something like a meat shower. Oh, wow. There's a meat shower, the Kentucky meat shower. So you're saying the men are getting sucked up in some kind of environmental catastrophe, like a big twister.

They're all fishermen. Oh, no. It's raining fishermen. It's raining men. It looks like they're fishermen. Interesting. It's raining men and fish. But to answer your question of like

If it just rains pretty much bodies That are bursting on the ground That's a traumatic experience And I guess you're just fearful that it's going to happen again You would look into why it happened And never come to a conclusion It's 10.30 So it's localized in one specific area

Or is it at 10.30 say East coast of America But then it's worldwide happening at that time so you'd know it's coming if it's like wow time zone is different oh that's true the man rain hits 10.30 everywhere it's a travelling man cloud just men tumbling

in a cloud like a washing machine oh my god initially I would just assume that yeah we're being sucked off Into the air And then dumped down Like and it's like It's for some reason

Only targeting men Yeah I'm worried I'm strapping myself Into like I don't know The house Yeah absolutely

Yeah And then yeah It would never occur to me That this is new men Or alien men Or anything like that Yeah It would just

I'd have to wait For more information Yeah That's smart too Yeah That's good I think yeah Like maybe a plane

Got caught A plane with an All men's basketball team Or something Got caught No I'd have to wait for more information. Yeah, that's smart, too. Yeah. That's good. I think, yeah, like maybe a plane got caught, a plane with an all-men's basketball team or something got caught. Oh, no, a live happened, but this time they didn't crash on a mountain. They fell out of the sky, and they're not alive anymore. Maybe they also hit some kind of cloning machine. Yeah. All of them. Yeah.

I honestly think that I would be like okay time travel's real and there's a cloning machine and a portal opened up or something like that like all together all of that happened because like something that like people have often said with time travel is like if time travel existed at any point we'd know about it because people would have traveled in time

yeah yeah yeah but there's also the theory that if time travel if you started it now you can only go back to this point. That's true. To the point where you build the time. So you assume that at the moment the man rain happens somewhere, somebody's inventing time travel with their group of buddies. And they're all falling in the portal.

Okay, for the buddy system we've got to tie ourselves together. So we don't get lost in time and then they all fall down like a chain of guys. Oh! Yeah, I was going to Yeah, because it would be like traveling back in time because we're no longer sharing that same space that we were, say, X many years ago or whatever it might be. But we've moved on so far from that specific point that if they were to go back in time, they'd just be floating in an empty space. Yeah, it would be less.

Maybe we're hitting a cloud of men in space in a different time displacement scenario. Maybe if I'm calling NASA, if I'm NASA calling you guys and I'm like, what do you see? You're like just a bunch of men whittling through the atmosphere. Okay. What is a specific moment in time that if when you invent time travel, the majority or a lot of guys are going to be like, there. We're going to that Pacific. Where do the fellas want to go?

Where do the fellas want to go? They'll be like, well, let's not kill Hitler, obviously. Like, that would be the first. Because he was bad, actually. Let's not kill Hitler as a baby, sure. And so every single person that has gone like, I'm going to kill Hitler as a baby, has then popped up and appeared in this patch of space that now the Earth is colliding to. But I also think when it comes to time travel and picking a spot,

people would immediately have a thought to, like, I'm going to kill a member. Like, well, that'll change history too much. Maybe I'll go to an event. I'm going to Woodstock. Woodstock got twice as big. This is the space in time where Woodstock was back in the 70s. Earth and the universe, we just kind of come back around.

It's got a lot of space. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So we travel back in time, forgetting about space, realizing, oh, no, this space here was where Woodstock was, and so we get a lot of guys there. Bringing a lot of people that are dressed as hippies. Or he had, like, so many quaaludes. Or four.

They're very loose. It's funny that time travel worked. They found a point like, so many quaaludes or four. They're very loose. It's funny that time travel worked. They found a point where they could get quaaludes and it worked. Then their second job, unfortunately,

not as successful. Two jobs. One job, get quaaludes. Second job, the woods. Crazy quaaludes are extinct. They went their way the other day. They found some recently,

though, but I don't know what they're going to do with them. Presumably not take them. Yeah, I know. Yeah, my mum did lewds. That's awesome. I bet they're not that good, though, right? She said it them. Yeah, I know. Yeah, my mum did lewds. That's awesome. I bet they're not that good, though.

She said it didn't do much to her. Compared to, like, modern drugs, that would really fuck you up if you're not lewd. Yeah, that's true. There is a lot of drugs on the market. If you were... Say, like, we invented time travel

and everyone was like, I'm going to go back and kill baby Hitler. Yeah. Could you do it or would there be too many guys? Oh, they're like... Like, you open your time machine and you just step into a wall of guy baby Hitler. Yeah. Could you do it or would there be too many guys? Like you open your time machine and you just step

into a wall of guys and you're like we don't even know where baby Hitler is it's too crowded. 15,000 people die trying to kill baby Hitler.

Yeah there was a crush. A craft crush. Just a three stooges situation. 15,000 people. Janice and Dad a window or something by the crush.

Somebody collects him. I think we created baby Hitler By crushing him out that window Oh no He shoots out the window, hits some branches, he comes out Perfect hair and a mustache How'd the tree give him a mustache? What's he gonna do? Okay

Fair enough He only enough, fair enough. He only had one nut, yeah? Yeah. Yeah. Someone stood on his nut. Yeah, in the crowd. There he is! Get him!

But he just slides away. You only get one nut. Fuck! He's so slippery! Who oiled up baby Hitler before he came back here? I oiled him up, but then I was no gonna slide him on fire It's canola oil though I don't know how to start a fire. Oh, yeah, just like on the top of everyone's had seeing baby hit

Go back in there Then the tree gave him a moustache. Time travel's dangerous. I just wouldn't. He's probably the best. No thanks. So it could just be like, yeah, a bunch of future guys

falling from the, or past guys falling from the sky. Falling from the sky onto Earth, yeah. Outdated or enlightened views? I don't know. Depending where they come from.

Yeah, yeah. Depending how we go, you know? Yeah, that't know. No, depending where they come from. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Depending how we go, you know? Yeah, that's right. Well, I guess the last part of this that's interesting is, I mean, it's an innuendo in the song, but if we take it on face value, it's also raining water at the same time because they constantly say,

go get yourself wet. Yes, that's true. Yeah. Well, if it's so, that to me implies that it's happening in the middle of like a storm. Wait, that says, go get yourself wet. It says But that says Go get yourself wet

It says Yeah go get yourself wet Girl I know you want to I don't know If that's necessarily water Yeah I think That might be blood and gore

Oh yeah Well sure It could be that too But then also I feel the stormy weather Moving in Have you heard this Like song

Like WAP These women have a condition I don't know What's going on I don't understand women have a condition. I don't know what's going on. I don't understand metaphors. Seems bad. I don't know. I'm going to go out to run and let myself get absolutely soaking

wet. Yeah. Well, that means that they mustn't be assuming that the men are going to explode in sort of fountains of visceral. Yeah. Yeah. Because if they're like, well, I'm going to go outside. Because if your partner ran outside to get the perfect man and the men were going to just collide with the earth,

they would get killed. Yeah. Maybe everyone just gets like a little trampoline. You can kind of catch the man in. They come down, like they use James' strategy, they break every bone in their body and puncture their organs, but they're okay.

Yeah, he's your perfect man. You have to look after him now. Yeah. You're going to nurse him back to health for a couple of years. Yeah, you stay by this broken man. Like, the work is better. Learn to love him. Yeah.

That's funny as well if it's your partner and he's just in your house healing. Like, so this is your perfect guy? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Soup, please. Hey, man, I don't fucking work for you. You're not here for me.

Somehow you'll end up looking after him. I do love you, Han, I guess. Please I don't fucking work for you Do love you hon I guess your perfect man To feed the bulls Well, I wasn't okay with him fucking you and I'm definitely not okay with eating soup I'll do both, I guess. I think out of every theory we have put forward, either the colliding with time travelers and it just rains men, that seems like the real life version.

But I think in the way the song works, we're all going up, getting changed to become perfect, going back down, and you've just got to fucking hope. Yeah. You've got to pray to God that it works out for you. Yeah, I think if it's changing us completely, Natalie, like we lose memories. We're changing personality.

We're inventing somebody. They're up there, you're like, do you, you know, you gotta sign this. Yeah, if I'm like, oh no, I'm happy that they sent me back and I'm the one dumpy man. You don't sign it, you go back and your wife has a new guy. You're like, oh, I didn't sign it for you. She's like, who are you?

You do like a book tour. It's like, I suck. I made a bad decision. I'm an idiot. I'm a big idiot. Look at the one dumb, ugly guy left on earth. I thought I had morals, but it turns out I'm just a fuckwit I thought other people

would at least why would you think that at least one other person would say no yeah because in the song it is Mother Gaia Mother Nature

she also wants a perfect man yeah do we get an option can we choose if we could be like who's perfect matchmaker yeah they're like

you can be the perfect person for somebody and like maybe they come like these traits because I want to be I want to be Mother Nature's perfect man. I don't know what that is, but I reckon I'm going to be big. I think you're going to have to get big. Yeah.

I don't know if I'm going to be man-shaped either. I don't know what's going to happen, but I'm excited. Like a big, mossy guy, maybe. Yeah, a big, mossy guy. Or like a planet with arms and a penis. Yeah. Kind of like a sexy emoji. Yeah.

A big, smiley face, erect cock, and little tiny hands. Two little over-matching arms with Mickey Mouse clumps. Yeah. Oh, hi, Mother Earth. What the fuck? Why does she want that? Well, I don't need legs because I'm floating in space, right? I'm going to live on Zammert, I think.

Yeah. That'd be cool. Just a big featureless yellow plane of land. How do you plan on surviving? Well, we're surviving this world. You feel like you'd be cool. Just a big featureless yellow plane of land. How do you plan on surviving? Well, we're surviving this world. You feel like you'd be edible? Yeah. I'll eat that.

Like a kind of meat planet. Yeah. Plus, if you get bored, you can hike up my cock, which I'm guessing is the tallest mountain. That's the only mountain I've ever lived in. Somehow. Between cubes? I don't know. Finally go on that hike.

Watch out for leeches Yeah yeah It's actually still leeches On the emoji You should get that checked out Before you and mother nature Nah it's what she wants Is it what?

Okay that's gross I don't know man It's a perfect man Yeah that's nasty stuff Yeah dude She's a freak Sounds like it If it rained men

Probably not good Yeah This would happen Yeah this would happen I don't know It seems alright Yeah I could adapt You'd get used to it You'd be fine Sounds like it. If it rained men, probably not good. Yeah. This would happen. Yeah, this would happen. I don't know. It seems all right. Yeah.

You can adapt. You'll be fine. You'll be fine. I think that it would just be so much so quickly that your brain wouldn't, you wouldn't even process it, but it wouldn't become like a problem in the future of trauma. You'd just be like. My brain skipped that. Yeah. Absolutely.

We all had one big blackout drunk night and now we're this. Yeah. We got reality. We got new friends, new partner, new memories. We all had one big blackout drunk night, and now we're this. Yeah, we got reality. We got new friends, new partner, new memories. We were up for a bit. Heaven's real. Yeah. Yeah.

Because it's still like, I still got bills, you know? Yeah. I still got to work. I still got stuff that I need to do. Well, new guy would get your old bills, presumably. Why? It's not in his name. The perfect man has no bills.

I don't know if you know this about the perfect man has no bills. I don't think you know this about the perfect man. They're also very rich. Yeah. You're probably paying the entirety of your rent now. What do I bring to the table? Absolutely diddly squat. We get picked up to be rearranged

to be someone's perfect man and then just shut up. Maybe there's some alien chick for you in space. I don't know, brother. We'll just fire you into space. We'll see what happens.

Okay. Wish me luck. Oh, he burnt up. That's right. They can't survive in space. On that note I've been Joel I've been Jackson

I've also been Joel James I've been James Sorry For some reason I thought there was Another person Before me

It does feel crowded James you host a podcast I do It's called The Weekly Planet People want to check it out It's similar to this We talk nonsense

And pop culture And movies And whatever else has happened the big brand of the week whatever that is you also have

another podcast with your wife oh yeah this is why we're not perfect for each other I guess called suggestible yeah

we recommend things as well which is cool and she's also doing a tour through the UK which is exciting I don't know when this is coming out

before or after or during. Who knows? Let's say next week. Let's say the week after. Cool. Excellent. During July, if you're interested.

She has a great album if you want to check it out. What was the name of that album? Matrescence. Thank you. Appreciate that. Her name was? Doesn't matter. Claire Tanti.

And you can probably stream that, right? Yeah, you can stream it. It's on Spotify. It's on Apple Music. You can buy the vinyl. If you want to buy the vinyl, you go to... You go to ClaireTonti.com, the real website. And all of this will be linked below, presumably.

Yeah. Well, thanks so much for joining us, James. You're welcome. Thank you for having me. I fucked that, didn't I