Plumbing the Death Star - Is There Any Way You Could Possibly Be Responsible with the Ultimate Nullifier?

Episode Date: July 16, 2023

While reading too many Marvel Comics (especially the 1977 What If…? series for our bonus subscriber show What If...? where we pick up the slack left by Marvel writers to once again ask the important question ‘What if?’ (new episodes the first Saturday of every month (subscribe now to Bad Brain Boys on Apple Podcasts or Bad Brain Boys+ directly from our website))) the boys have learnt far too much bullshit Marvel lore and are now left holding the Ultimate Nullifier and wondering if there’s any possible way to be responsible with this thing (they’re also wondering if they just fired it, but that’s a question they’ll never even think to ask). Ultimately the Ultimate Nullifier makes a bad tool that complicates the most basic of tasks and should only be used to Ultimate Nullify another Ultimate Nullifier.Buy our terrible merch here and check out the Bad Brain Boys on Apple Podcasts at apple.co/badbrainboys. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Ahem. You're listening to the Sands Pants Network. Hey everyone, and welcome to this week's episode of Plumbing the Death Star. I'm Joel. I'm Jackson. And I'm also Joel. And this is the podcast where we ask the important questions like, is there any way you could possibly be responsible with the ultimate nullifier.

So the ultimate nullifier is a device. A weapon. Possibly either found inside Galactus. Inside Galactus's ship often. Yes. But it was created

by the Watcher whose name is Emnu. Well, there you go. That was a retcon, though, because originally it was just, hey, this is the thing Galactus has. It's part of the Galactus thing. Yeah. See, Jackson, see, when the... States? Is it a given?

Procylicons. Okay. Pro-silicons. So when the pro-silicons began to invade other planets using technology given to them by the Watchers. That's a very fucking watching of you, the Watchers. The Watcher was created when these fuckers invaded other planets. So upon its firing, it destroyed both the proskillion empire and nine-tenths of the entire universe. Okay. Which were later known as the barons so the what what the auto nullifier does is it eradicates a thing from not only existing now but ever having existed yeah you're nullified from existence yeah so it's if you

nullified if i nullified my shoes right now yeah i would be like, how did I come into work without putting on shoes? I would have never had those shoes. Those shoes would never have been made. I would be wearing different shoes. But the moment you pull the trigger and shoot your current shoes, you'd have new shoes on, presumably. current shoes. You'd have new shoes on, presumably, but your memories would all be of always wearing the shoes

that you didn't nullify. I'm going to read the properties of the ultimate nullifier so we know exactly what happened when we shoot our own shoes. It's to be described as the universe's most devastating weapon. As such, the ultimate nullifier has the ability

to completely and utterly eliminate any target the wielder chooses through violation of the law of conservation of mass. And if the wielder's mind isn't powerful enough, the wielder themselves. Its effectiveness is heavily dependent upon the concentration, knowledge, and mindset of the reader. So I go to shoot my shoes and you're like, plumbing the Death Star is the two Jolts. Always has been. In the hands of a being with an extremely powerful intellect

such as Galactus, Earth-Mullify can in effect destroy entire timelines from beginning to end, or instantly nullify and paradoxically recreate a multiverse. Generally kept in Galactus' world ship. Spaceship, yeah, nice. TAR-2. Okay.

Good stuff. I guess if your name's Galactus, what are your names? Why not TAR-2? Might as well name it TAR-2. T-A-A-2. I'm more happy with TAR-1. That's what I want to remember. Wait, two as in the number two?

As in like, you know, like World War II. T-A-A-2? Where's T-A-A-1? He crashed T-A-A-1. He nullified it, probably. No, but then that would be T-A-A-1. In the rare instances, the nullifier gets stolen or kept in other locales.

It gets stolen a couple of times. Yeah, every now and then. You can steal the ultimate nullifier a few times. Yeah, yeah, as a treat, yeah. Well, the ultimate nullifier is one of those things that's constantly, like, a looming threat, but no one ever really uses it. Yeah, well, fair enough.

Or if they have used it, we don't know. That's always the trick with the ultimate nullifier. It nullifies even comic books. Yeah. There may be, in fact, be the ultimate nullifier. It nullifies even comic books. Yeah. There may be, in fact, be two ultimate nullifiers in existence. What? The one held by Titus is remaked as having been assembled in accordance with information deciphered from a Regillian recorder and is referred to as an ultimate nullifier instead

of the ultimate nullifier. Okay. referred to as an ultimate nullifier instead of the ultimate nullifier. Okay. Tideless if I believe, if my knowledge is correct, and it probably isn't, is one of the examples of someone's mind not being strong enough to use it. They get in a wrestle with someone trying to use it on them, and it shoots them instead.

Oh, no. Yeah. Yeah. I found something called the Hummerverse. The Hummerverse. Is it a kind of awesome blow job? Earth 947. Whoa. That's cool.

In this reality, the ultimate elephier was being sold via Honest John's store for $1,250.59, but not to the Soviets. Okay, comics. Why not? Or to people under 21 years of age. All right, so let's assume, obviously, our intellect, we've got tiny peanut brains. Yeah. Our brains are like crack to elephants. Yeah.

Or anyone at the circus. But let's assume, for the sake of this episode, we can wield the ultimate nullifier. Yeah. And the way I've always assumed is the ultimate nullifier, it just nullifies something from that just never existed to begin with. Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's how I've always assumed.

That seems like how that's how it works. Nobody remembers the Sicilian Empire or whatever you said at the beginning. Great Sicilian Empire. Made it rain for a thousand years. What's Italy? Yeah. So can you,

if you have the ultimate nullifier in your greasy, dirty palms. So can you, if you have the ultimate nullifier in your greasy, dirty palms, like can you, you can't be responsible with this weapon. So, yeah. Because if you use it, you have made a mistake. Well, because the thing is, it needs to be like your knowledge and intentions, right? Now I know shit about fuck. Yes.

So I'm like, okay, what is something that I can do responsibly? Okay. So aren't, isn't like, if we got rid of mosquitoes, that actually wouldn't be a bad thing. That's true. Right? Wouldn't that? No, I think, well, this maybe is apocryphal, but there was a couple of articles that came

out, like, maybe a couple years ago where they were like, scientists have figured out mosquitoes don't do shit. Yeah. If you get rid of them, we'll be fine. It's like, everyone thinks, like, oh yeah, we need it for biodiversity for like um you know spiders and other things to be eating said things but they're like honestly we'd be good we'd be okay yeah but how do you ultimately nullify mosquitoes so is it because it's about your own knowledge and intention and like everything like that right yeah so would i be like well if i'm gonna shoot a mosquito that is the representation of

all mosquitoes so in my mind at that moment in time i'm like by shooting this one mosquito i'm getting rid of all mosquitoes and you miss and you hit the wall and then walls don't exist all walls are made from mosquitoes i may have made a mistake, but I wouldn't know. Don't know. I hate mosquitoes. It is so loud in Mosquito Realm. It is so loud. Well, then, though. What?

Sorry, the walls are particularly loud today. But then I'm like, oh, fuck, I hate living in Mosquito Realm, but thankfully I've got this ultimullifier. I guess I was aiming it at the mosquito wall. Now I can't miss. That's true. So then the mosquito walls go. And so do walls still. How do you live in a house with no walls?

Maybe every house has a floor and then a central pylon under a roof. Yeah. Or is it just the plaster? Oh, so it's always exposed insulation. Don't lean up against the wall. It'll make you itchy and maybe sick. Yeah. So again, I'm pointing at a mosquito initially to be like,

I want to get rid of all mosquitoes. Mosquitoes are very dangerous and bad. They spread a lot of disease. I miss, I get the wall. I'm thinking of mosquitoes. Does it then create a world where we would use mosquitoes as if we were to use plaster? So like dried mosquitoes.

So we've had to basically breed mosquitoes wholesale to then crush down so that we can mix up and then make a interesting wall or would it be like you want to eradicate all mosquitoes so when you accidentally shoot a wall it just eradicates all the walls yeah like it can't take it takes it takes your intention intention, not like the object you're firing at. I have a question about my shoes. I shoot my shoes. Right now I'm wearing some white Reeboks.

Are you worried those white Reeboks never existed? Well, no, say those white Reeboks never exist. But when I got these, there were other pairs that I could have got. So does it eliminate, I shoot my Reeboks. What's your intention? My intention is to... This is, I think this is where we... Okay, the intention is, somebody's like,

Jackson, can you please take your shoes off? This is a new carpet. And I can't be bothered. I'm doing my license. Lucky I got this. So that means your intention would be that you never bought shoes at all because you would need to be barefoot for that situation.

Okay, that's true. Which means that your entire day you just never had shoes on. Because I was wondering, because there were other potential pairs of shoes I could have bought, that if I shot them, these ones disappear, but then another pair I could have conceivably bought just reappears on my face. No, because your intention is to take off your shoes. just reappears on my feet. No, because your intention is to take off your shoes. So you never had shoes, so maybe it actually changes and the person's annoyed at you for walking dirt into their house on your socks. Yeah.

Because I just walked here in socks. In that very specific instance, you're like, I don't want to take off my shoes. So it depends on you. Again, what did you want to happen? Because you could, like, shoot it, right? You shoot your feet. And your legs are gone.

So then it's like, okay, we ultimate nullified that event when you put on shoes this morning. Or are you ultimate nullifying, so when you walked in, say, for example, you don't want to get yelled at by a person who's yelling at you for walking on their carpet. You should have ultimate nullified them. That's true. They didn't get a free house.

That's awesome. Or do I? They never lived there. Someone else true. They didn't get a free house. That's awesome. Or do I? They never lived there. Someone else does. They're like, who are you? You ultimate nullify a friend and then another person walks in and is like, why are you in my house? Well, so are you ultimate nullifying an event, right? Or are you changing it somewhat slightly?

So if you were like, say I am mad at you for walking on new carpet with shoes. I'm like, Jackson, motherfucker. And you're like, I don't want to get yelled at. So you shoot your own shoes in the intention that when I came in this morning, I had always taken them off. And so then you alter reality or alter the event so that

you're... And so you'd be there sitting there smiling and I'd be like, good job, Jackson. Yeah, it is a good job. I'm a genius. And then I'd put the ultimate nullifier in my pocket, shoot my thigh. I guess if you have no intention, that's bad. It just went off. Is it basically a genie's lamp with limitations where a thing doesn't happen?

Well, I don't know. Can it do an event? Or is it only objects? Is it an object or is it an event? It seems like it's objects. It's because they eradicate those guys in the war. The rapscallions. And they're nine-tenths of the fucking universe.

So they get rid of... What I suspect is that they get rid of an object and that just alters reality. So if I shot my shoes so that I was barefoot always, then I would have arrived barefoot to work. So that alters the whole situation. Yeah. But it's not like I'm altering the event.

I'm not nullifying the event. I'm just changing an element of reality so that the event is different. So you're probably still getting yelled at, but this time it's for having dirty, filthy feet. Dirty socks because I walked here. It's wet outside. Yeah. My socks are soaking wet.

I would rather you've gone barefoot than in socks. Well, probably in this situation, I would shoot my socks off. Okay. So you're still getting yelled at, and you're like, oh. Hang on, two, two. And then you're like, Jackson, you're filthy feet.

And then I would have to maybe shoot the grime off the bottom. Dangerous. Dangerous. Dangerous. Can't get in trouble if I have no feet. Yeah. Because if you would do that, then you would always be walking around like in socks, which would be a, I don't know what that looks like. It's not good.

But then if you then like, oh, yeah, right. And then you shot off your socks. Become one of those barefoot guys. Barefootislegal.com. That's right. Yeah. So then you'd always have been barefoot

which means that you would have had like at least you know like a built up calluses on your feet making your feet even more awful

yes but is it like I shoot my socks off yeah is it like I have always just been a barefoot person

my whole life yeah because that's your intention or is it like your intention is to remove your socks. But it's only to get rid of my socks now. Yeah, because he doesn't want to be yelled at. But that's not how-

My socks never existed. But you're right. When I went to buy socks, I didn't. Yeah. Or- Bought a tomato or something instead. Well, I guess if you, yeah, you would shoot these socks off and say they were part of a two-pack, you never would have bought those ones

or that one would have, you'd have a different pair of sock in that two-pack, but because when you're buying a two-pack, it's like the same socks, right? So then nothing would happen. I'd still be wearing socks. Yeah. Same with the shoe argument. Yeah, but then

you would shoot it and then you'd be like, no, I'm still wearing shoes. And it'd be slightly different. Maybe, but like... But I wouldn't know. But you wouldn't know. I wouldn't know what would happen.

So you'd be like, so when you went to the store, you're like, I want these ones. And they're like, okay, cool. Oh, we've got many pairs. And then you're like,

okay, whatever. Then like, oh, we say, for example, initially they had six pairs. Your memory keeps changing. They had five pairs. They had four pairs. They had three pairs. To be like, oh, we have this, but in black. You're like, that's fine.

But no, because so there are five pairs. Yeah. Say there were five pairs of shoes. I shoot my shoes. Those shoes never existed. So you go back to the distributor. The distributor, they don't make those shoes. They make another pair.

So nothing changes because then there are still five pairs. And they would be like, well, we need to stop. We're missing a shoe. Except we're not missing a shoe, because we just never made that shoe. We made a different shoe instead. So, yeah, the manufacturer made, say, you know, like, say, 995 shoes instead of 1,000. But that store would have been like, well, we still need,

so maybe it was on back order for a bit. Either way, you would have still gotten those shoes unless you nullify those shoes enough that you don't want to be wearing shoes that the distributor just never made

those type of shoes at all but they would have to because you need to make a thousand shoes yeah I ultimate nullify my shoes

no no no you ultimate nullify you ultimate nullify five pairs of your shoes yeah does that alter the universe so much that the distributor

doesn't make 995 versions of the shoes? I think it just makes a different five shoes. Well, I'm assuming it just makes none of those shoes anymore. At all. Yeah, because you just ultimate nullified the same shoe ten times. Yeah, but that's not the concept of the shoe.

Because if it's doing the shoe and if you ultimate nullify it from your own memory You're there being like Damn Why did I ultimatify these shoes Damn I should ultimatify these shoes

And then you would keep doing it until Like I don't know what the fuck happens Yeah Because you are still you with the same thought Which would be the I need to get rid of my shoes Yeah

And so you'd be hitting Like you'd be shooting your own shoe God knows how long until, yes, given enough time, you will eradicate the concept of shoes. Because I just, you would go through, or whatever size you are,

right, if you're a size 10. I'm sorry, we don't make size 10 shoes ever. They just don't exist. They're either 9 or 11s. Yeah, there's just a mass shortage for some reason. And it wouldn't, yeah, could it be a shortage? Yeah. And then they would make the shoes again. And then, yeah, after that point.

This time passed. So there'd be a before Jackson shots his shoes and after. This time passed while I'm shooting my shoes? I don't know. What do you mean? Well, okay, so I shoot my shoes. Yeah. Is like that, like, you know, a millisecond or whatever.

Yeah. Because if I'm continually shooting my shoes, at a certain point, Zammett's yelling at me. And the whole point of doing it is gone. Yeah. Because, like, no matter, even if it's, like, a millisecond, it's still at that time. And it's just all that.

During the time, Zammett's being like, Jackson, Jacob. It's like, as we are in this conversation, like, it's just all that. Three of the times, Zammett's being like, Jackson Jacob. It's like, as we are in this conversation, like, it's becoming darker outside. Yeah, but like,

as you do that, though, your intentions will change because if Zammett is starting to yell at you, you'll start thinking broader to get it to try and hurry up. I might be like,

shut up and nullify him. But then you don't. Nullify the concept of getting yelled at. How do I do that? I don't know. Aim for the mouth? Z yelled at. How do I do that? I don't know. Aim for the mouth? Diamond never had a mouth.

That's sad. He breathed out his nose in... I don't know how he... In tubes. Oh, that's cool. But that's normal. That's how it's always been, yeah. He didn't get the Bud Cartson, I guess.

Can't talk. Yeah. See, nullifying is so dangerous and confusing. It's scary. I just don't know if time would pass. I don't think it would. You know what you could use nullifier for? What?

Digging holes. You just nullify that top layer of earth. Yeah. And keep nullifying down. Your intentions better be very clear. So if you nullified a patch of grass, because I want to build, like, what, a pool here? Yeah, I'm building a pool.

I'm doing an Encino, man. I'm building a pool. So I nullify a patch of earth. That layer, that inch of earth, gone. I nullified the next inch now. But it never existed, which is bad. Yeah, so then it would always be top layer of earth. Right?

Yes. And you wouldn't know. You'd just be like, wow, okay. The first time you'd be like, all right, this section, right? The second time you're probably thinking exactly the same thing. This is the perfect spot for it. Yeah, and then at a certain point I'm like, somebody's done half the job before. I can't believe I found this natural-forming rectangle.

This is amazing. And then I just nullify it again, and then I have the same thought, and then eventually I'm like, there's already a pool here. No, it would just be empty. Well, yeah, there's already space for a pool. I don't need to do any more digging. I need to be like, sweet, I just have to, I found this natural-occurring rectangle. Oh, he's going to shoot it with my nullifier, but I don't need to.

I'll just put it back in my pocket. That means through the history of things, that hole has been there, meaning that someone probably would have done something to that hole. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, but not until you ultimidullified it. No, but then it rewrites everything, remember? Because until you. Because it creates new memories, which means that if you're nullifying something.

Because if you're nullifying. Nullify, nullify, nullify. Oh, somebody already built a pool here. And then I turn around and do it. Nullify, nullify, nullify. You'd be like, oh, yeah, that's right. I bought this house with this backyard because I was like, I was going to build a pool in this backyard. Then bang.

Oh, yep, there was a perfect spot for it. Bang. There was a perfect spot for it. You keep doing it. Like, yeah, I bought this house because someone built a pool here. That was great. I'm going to go get into my bathes. Alternatively.

Yeah. Nullify, nullify, nullify. Oh, this isn't my house anymore because there was a natural occurring rectangle. So someone bought it before I bought it. Oh, yeah, that's true. Or, like, the price was more than I could afford because it had a pool. Yeah.

But, like, wait. And then somebody yells at me, and I'm like, why am I in this backyard? What am I doing? Was I just sneaking? Am I having, like, mental blanks? Am I okay? Or does the ultimate nullifier need to be able to write itself

into the narrative in a weird way so that you're always there firing the ultimate nullifier even though you don't necessarily know that you did it? So therefore,

yes, you would have bought the pool house because that's what you wanted it and then that would have created enough either money for you or made it...

But you have to always... That hasn't nullified anything. But it's butterfly affecting, right? Because you can't... But you're always faced with the fact at the end of the day, say there's a train coming toward me. Okay.

I'm about to be hit by a train because I fell asleep on the tracks. I do. Nullify that train. I nullify the train. Yeah. I previously in my mind was sleeping on the tracks. Now, no matter what, I'm standing holding the ultimate nullifier.

So at the end of any nullifying, you got the nullifier. So you got to think, I must have nullified. Yeah. So I don't know what I've done, but I know I've done something. Not happen. And it alters the event. So the nullifier doesn't go off. But you have it still.

Yeah. Or it's like, but that means that every time you go reaching for the nullifier, you're like, have I already nullified something? Yeah, I would be so scared that I would assume in that situation you just stay Does the train wake you up? Yeah. Yeah, so you just stay sleeping on the tracks. So I never

Well, you will wake up. But then I don't think you know. At least you've already nullified trains. It was never a 903 trains. It's an abandoned railway. It was never a 903 train. It never was. Yeah, well, that's pretty rude of me to nullify a train full of people. I'm sleepy.

One truck makes a good pillow, while the other one I can put up. It elevates my leg. I like the rumble of an approaching train. I hate when I get hit by one. I get the perfect solution. I get a good, like, a few minutes of napping, and then when I get woken up, I nullify that train. And then I go back to bed, because I never nullified the train.

So then I was always sleeping. So I stay asleep. But then, so say you don't, i nullify the train yeah and i'm back to sleep i'm not standing there holding the nullifier being like what the fuck did i just do yeah that means that i just have in my mind yeah the ultimate nullifier and i'm too scared to use it or every time i look at it i'm like it's crazy i haven't used this ultimate nullify yeah i should nullify then i nullify something and i go back to being like what the hell find the thing to nullify Or every time I look at it, I'm like, it's crazy. I haven't used this ultimate nullifier yet. Yeah, I should start nullifying. Then I nullify something and I go back to being like,

what the hell finds the thing to nullify with the nullifier? Surely, the moment you were in possession with the ultimate nullifier, you were like, I have used this. I've nullified. I know I have used it on something. I don't know what, but something. What would you nullify? You got the nullifier.

What in your life needs a nullifier? Ashton Kutcher. How are you doing that? Finding him. Okay. I'm going to somehow travel back in time and try and get punked. I'm going to try and get punked for his hit television show. I just...

Punked? Yeah. I was thinking of Ashton Kutcher because of the butterfly effect. Yeah, okay. And I was like, he's never done anything good for me. Yeah. And I'm sick of him. Okay, fair enough. Yeah, alright. But I remember he made Dude, Where's My Car? Yeah, that's true. But if I

Ultimate Nullify Ashton Kutcher, presumably someone else just gets cast alongside Sean William Scott. Yeah, that's true. And Dude, Where's My Car remains and it's now Sean William Scott and Snoop Dogg? That sounds awesome. Eric Foreman from That 70s Show? No, but does, without Ashton Kutcher, does That 70s Show get off the ground?

Well, it would be someone else would be. Yeah, but is it successful in that situation? Well, who was the runner-up, do we know, for That 70s Show? Yeah, who was going to be? Who was going to be? Kelso? Yeah. Is it not Kelso?

I think it's Kelso. Yeah, Kelso is Ashton Kutcher. Yeah, because then it would be someone else. Mila Kunis doesn't marry Ashton Kutcher. Does she still play Mago Family Guy? Yeah. Okay, thank God. She's still with Macaulay Culkin.

Yeah, okay. Demi Moore doesn't marry Ashton Kutcher. The two movies that have the same plot coming out at the same time, Friends with Benefits and Straight... It's Complicated or something? No, no, no, no, no, no. Anyway, the one with Ashton, Just Friends. Just Friends, yeah.

Yeah. Well, okay. Well, it still comes out, but not with Ashton Kutcher. So you fly to America. Yeah. Right? I get punked. You time travel. Well, first off, you don but not with Ashton Kutcher. So you fly to America. Yeah. Right? I get punked. You time travel.

Well, first off, you don't even need to get time traveled. I get punked. But he always- Punked gets revived. Because the moment you ultimately fly Ashton Kutcher- They're struggling. He never was to punk anybody. You don't have to travel in time, which I know is easy, apparently.

I get it, because you want to do it mid-punking Yeah yeah yeah He's like hey that kid you thought was breaking into your car You're like I will fucking kill you I'm going to do something worse than killing you You thought Zach Braff had a bad reaction? Welcome to non-existence What? I'll do it non-fly Ashton Kutcher

And maybe the kid You're part of this It's a prank What? I'll do it, nullify Ashton Kutcher and maybe the kid. Okay, fair enough. You're part of this. It's a prank. Bang, bang. I'm not laughing. Why am I here? Well, that's what I was going to ask.

Do you then come back to Australia? My car's fine. Or are you like, what am I doing in America? Why am I here? What's happening? You know, do you come back to here? What do you mean? Of course. It's just like, what am I why am I here what's happening I don't what you know do you come back to here

what do you mean of course so you just it's just like it's like I was on holiday okay oh you mean when I pull the trigger

I get teleported you decide to stay in America yeah I was like why would I stay in America you get rid of Ashton Kutcher I'm not saying I'm not I'm ultimate nullifying

Ashton Kutcher so that I get his roles yeah yeah that was funny you said that like that's absolutely what you were doing I'm not saying, I'm not ultimate nullifying Ashton Kutcher so that I get his roles. Yeah, yeah. That was funny. You said that like, that's absolutely what you were doing. You were trying to convince us. Someone else would probably take his spot in public. I'm sorry, probably not you, man.

No, that's fair. That makes sense. Joel Douche is douche. You know it's douche. Ashton Kutcher's kooched. It frankly should have been. Okay. So, okay, okay.

So, is there a way... You're just being kooched. Is there a way to perhaps utilize the nullifier in a way that we could maybe eternal sunshine of the spotless mind ourselves? Okay. So I could use this as a form of therapy where we could get rid of any bad times. Well, okay. First of all. I mean, you could use it exactly the same way it's used in eternal sunshine if you wanted.

But what I'd be scared of doing, because my immediate thought was just put it up to my ear and pull it. No! It's the other way around. I never had a brain. Oh, nothing changed. Guys, what am I doing? You just watch as I fire it, it goes out my ear. Hits a fucking bird or something.

Did it work? Did what work? I don't know. Birds don't exist now. Birds are clever. I don't know what's happening. But yeah, I mean, it's bleak, but you would shoot your partner with your ex. And then exactly what happened in Eternal Sunshine would happen again. They would pop up to existence or they would find someone else.

No, as in they wouldn't exist. so you wouldn't have the breakup trauma. Yeah, that's true. I'm like, is there a way to develop it so I don't have to get rid of a person but make it get rid of a memory? Well, you would first have to gain access to your memories and then shoot your memories. How do you shoot a memory? What if you drew a picture of the memory and then shot the picture?

Okay. That's shooting the paper? I never drew this. That's right. Well, maybe if you would have to, it would be really tricky to do yourself. You would have to entrust the nullifier to somebody else. But if they opened up your brain and they were like, the memory is being stored in these specific synapses. And we're going to shoot again. You're shoot again ultimate nullify your memory synapses yeah the chemicals in your brain that are producing and retaining that memory

again I wouldn't trust it to either knuckle we'll shoot your brain and what it will be is me do shit looking being like, this is such an empty skull. Whoa. It's crazy. This person hired us to get rid of memories, and we opened it up, and they never had a brain. And then Dusha will pull out a tech deck and start doing tricks inside your empty skull.

It'll be awesome. Look, I'm grinding. I'm grinding. The doctor's yelling at us. I'm fighting them off, because I know how important it is. This has been my dream. I'm going to be like, what are they doing in there? Because you're fine.

Feels like someone's doing something awesome in my head. You filming, dude? You filming, dude? Oh, yeah. Yeah, bro. Yeah, bro. This is going up on YouTube. You fighting the doctors off, Jack?

I'm beating the shit out of them. I'm going to submit this tape to the news What about if you made a home You'd have to Anytime you're being in a traumatic situation If you filmed it on your phone While it's happening Could you ultimate nullify

Like a projection But then you're just doing the projector right Or like the way the wall is being projected onto. Back to no wall universe. And no wall universe is so easy to accidentally do. There's walls everywhere. Risk's so high.

And no wall universe is so funny because it's got so many problems that we just all would accept. I'm cold all the time. I'm cold. There's birds in my house. It's dirty when it rains. I don't know what the fuck to do.

Your roofs would have to be way bigger, I guess. Roofs would be way bigger. We'd devise a way to be building up against cliff faces. Oh, yeah, that's true. Or carving out of stone kind of thing so that we have natural forming walls. That's crazy because that would change so much just from slightly missing shots. You'd teleport into a different area. Even if you got the mosquito, the beam, depending, would just keep going.

Yeah, mosquito's small. Go around it. It's real's real dangerous yeah no wall universe it's very easy to just happen yeah what's worse no wall universe on the roof universe like if you trip and shoot up oh no roof universe is way worse gutters on the floor like every but when it rains because the water you don't want it to fill your house up umbrellas or a drain yeah umbrellas no roof universe sucks no wall universe I reckon we could have

gone around it yeah because yeah like what if like I don't know the universe kind of adjusts and it's like oh they're not

traditional walls but like glass panels oh yeah yeah for sure absolutely glass panel ceiling sounds cool yeah you can see up see what's happening in the sky.

You'd never get anything done, Jackson. Skylight, basically, is just watching the sky. Watching clouds. Bright. Yeah, yeah. It'll be all right. Okay. No roof universe is better than no wall universe.

No floor universe? No floor universe is fine. It's just dirt. It's just dirt. That's okay. We deal. We deal. That's the best of the three.

Yeah. I mean, again, he's like, yeah, no floor is like no carpet. Well, yeah. No floor at all is tricky. Hole. Hole. Hole house. Tight ropes.

Yeah. It depends on what floor is. Yeah. Well, that's- Because if- Is ground and floor the same thing? Because if so, yeah, hole. It depends on your intentions, I guess.

But if floor is like flooring- Yeah. So like floorboards or carpet or tiles. Then it's fine, you can have a dirt floor. Here's a trick question. Can you nullify an empty space? What do you mean? Could I get rid of holes? Or the sky? Or the

gap in your mouth, so everybody's always talking about this. Well, what? I guess you could, so everybody's always talking about this. Well, what? Oh, no, I guess you could, because it's intention. Yeah. What is in empty space? Like, atom-wise, right? Oh, that's true.

Yeah, atoms far apart or whatever. Like, what is in, yeah. Atoms are far apart, but that's not what makes a hole. That's not what makes a space, yeah. Because air is in. Oh, no. Here's the ultimate nullified air. But we're fine, or we never were. Oh, no. It's ultimate nullified air. But we're fine or we never were.

We never were. Yeah, because there's atoms in the air because that's. There's atoms everywhere. Oxygen. Yeah. Well, molecules, actually, because. Are there less? No.

I was at H2O. That's water. Slow? Yeah, it's O. So, question. And I'm sorry. I was at H2O That's water Yeah It's O Yeah it's O So Question And I'm sorry So in

So we got air In Earth Yeah we do have air In the atmosphere Yeah And so the particles All bounce from there Dust etc

We get that geomagnetic field And stuff Protecting us Yeah In space Yeah Go to space What there?

What's in What do you mean What's in space? There's space what there what's in what do you mean what's in space there's no oxygen so if I get like a it's a vacuum if I got a cube of nothing right now

in like this studio like a cube and if I was like built like an area there and it was like look into it there's stuff there space is a vacuum

there is no atom so there's nothing in no space is a vacuum there's nothing except for the shit we've put in there. So there'll be like... And like radiation and stuff.

There's heaps of radiation in space. So then if I got like, say, like an inch cube of space space. Yeah. What's in there? Nothing. It's just, it's literally not, it's a vacuum. Is there radiation? Well, there's radiation.

No, but radiation doesn't come from... Antimatter? The God particle? Well, it's not a Higgs boson.'t come from... Antimatter? The God particle? Well, it's not a Higgs boson. I hate that you've taken us here, Joel Zammett. You've walked the three of us to a cliff sash. We're on shaky ground. The radiation in space isn't caused by...

What's it caused by space? No. It's not because the space has radiation in it. No. It's things... But if Zammett took like a cross section of space, there would be particles. There would be radiation. Well, it depends on.

There'd be various radio waves and stuff. There'd also be bits and pieces of, well, depending on where you take it, maybe a bit of like asteroid and shit. Yeah, minute amounts of debris and detritus. So like there might be some stuff there as well, but not as much as I say. Not as much as there would be here, I think. Yeah. So like currently in this room, there is atoms not as much as they're saying. Not as much as there would be here, I think. So like, currently

in this room, there is atoms in the air. Yes. Dumb atoms. The dumbest atoms you've ever seen. Oxygen that makes you dumb. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm aware. But in space, that isn't there. Correct. But is there anything else there

is my question. If you were to ultimate nullify that stuff, because in here, in dumb fuck space, but is there anything else there is my question. Well, it is about- Because if you were to ultimate nullify that stuff, because in here, in dumb fuck space that is the studio, there is stuff to ultimate nullify. But if I go up into space- So you're trying to find a situation where you shoot the ultimate nullifier and nothing happens? Well, because Jack was talking about- I was trying to get rid of holes. Well, you could probably get rid of a hole because you look at the hole and you're like, I'm going to ultimate nullify this hole, provided you've got a strong resolve. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's true.

The hole disappears and I'm like, thank God. So in your Encino Man, I guess, case scenario where you're doing a pool, you're like zap, zap, zap, making this lovely rectangle, but then being like, oh, man, this rectangle, I hate this rectangle. I was going to build a pool here, but I can't because this rectangle's there. Somebody's already done it. I'm going to fill it in so I can dig a hole. You're going to die standing there just shooting

two shots over and over again. Make a hole, remove a hole. Make a hole, remove a hole. Forever and ever. Until, I don't know, like a rock falls on your head or something and you die. But as you said, does time pass? Is that a question?

Surely time must pass. Surely some time passes between. So make a hole. There will be time between when I press it and I'm looking at the hole, then I have the realization, oh, I don't want the hole. And you make a thought. It's not much time, but there will be some time. Okay, so can you ultimate nullify time?

Well, it depends. It depends on how much like a genie's lamp it works. Because if it works like a genie's lamp, I can ultimate nullify anything. I think a genie and wishing for something fucked up like that's awesome. I wish there was no time. The genie's like, okay, you can't make someone fall in love with you. I can't bring anybody back from the dead. And you're like, I don't need any of that.

I don't care, dude. I wish that air didn't exist. What? Huh? You know you'll die, I'm well aware. I don't care. Go on. I wish that air never existed.

And then I get two more wishes, right? Well, yeah. I wish there were no gaps in anything. What? Yeah. Yeah, make it happen, genie motherfucker. The wrong motherfucker robbed your lamp, dude. Genie, I want there to be nothing between us.

I want to be smushed. Yeah, smushed. No negative space whatsoever. Go on, genie. I want us to be like a big catamari. Whoa! That's good. But yeah,

so it depends. If the ultimate nullifier, if you could just pick, then I could ultimate nullify, I don't know, thinking about going to the toilet.

Yeah. Which means no one, everyone just, mm. Or everybody just goes. Yeah. Like you don't think

about it and all of a sudden you're like I'm pissing and then you run to the but anyway I could nullify that concept if it works in a genie's lamp if it doesn't work

like a genie's lamp I could nullify because it's a gun the toilet you have to physically shoot something you can only nullify like an object

yeah a physical object exactly but so in Marvel but they nullify parts of the universe that's hard well that's physical objects yeah that's true you know or lack of a physical object but it's still part of a it's still part of the larger whole so like if i ultimate nullify say i ultimate nullified we

have a a sort of like a a bookcase bookcase thank you that has the mixer on it it's a trick it's a tricky word i get it well yeah there's no books there. What's going on? A shelf would have also done the... I was thinking shelf, but my brain kept on being like, that's not a shelf, you idiot. It is. It is. It's a shelving unit.

But if I shot the shelf, would it get rid of... But you didn't shoot the deputy. There's a lot of dumb particles in the studio today. But if I shot the shelf, right, would it get rid of the shelf and not the mixer? Or would the mixer go as well? Is that a unit? Well, I think you'd shoot the shelf. Everything would fall onto the ground very quickly.

No, it wouldn't because it wouldn't always... The shelf never existed. So we wouldn't have put things on the shelf. Or would there be another different kind of shelf? Either there'd be a different kind of shelf or everything that's on this shelf would then shift to the table next to you. Because it would have had to have put it somewhere. Yeah. Okay, what about earlier I said getting rid of the idea of pissing. Yeah.

And then I was like, well, it's going to be a physical object. And my first thought was toilet. Now, if I shot getting rid of the idea of pissing? Yeah. And then I was like, well, it's going to be a physical object. And my first thought was toilet. Now, if I shot and eradicated the toilet from reality, but I've not eradicated shitting and pissing. Yeah. What are we doing? It would just be that design of the toilet, I guess. You'd be shooting like that. That's true.

The Western design of a toilet. Yeah, maybe they don't come drop toilets or squat toilets or something. Which are better for you, apparently. So maybe everyone will be happier. Maybe that's a responsible way to use it. Get it, shoot the toilet, get a new toilet, flush it, move on. Yeah, like what if I shut the Ultima Lifier because I was like, oh, yeah, as in shoot the toilet with Ultima Lifier. It disappears and then becomes like a better toilet.

Like say I'm like, I've got like a regular toilet. I shoot it. It's like that one become nullified and it's so would it get replaced with say a nicer toilet a nicer toilet or one that I wanted like that was

more expensive with a bidet or would it get replaced by a toilet of equal value here's a question you said there were two in the Marvel Universe

say I've been going crazy with the ultimate nullifier yeah then I ultimate nullify the ultimate nullifier does it reverse everything I did because it would reverse back to

as though there had never been this ultimate nullifier? Yes. Well, that's good to know. Right? Because that ultimate nullifier would never have existed, so therefore... Whoa, that would be fucked up. Ultimate nullifier would say a hundred things,

so the universe is radically different. But very normal for me. Then all of a sudden someone shoots the ultimate nullifier with the ultimate nullifier would say a hundred things, so the universe is radically different. But very normal for me. Then all of a sudden someone shoots the ultimate nullifier with the ultimate nullifier, which means that one never existed. Yeah. Yeah, and then... Then all the hundred things come back.

But I don't notice. No. Because, like, yeah, you'd get the... No, yeah, you wouldn't get the memories of your ultimate nullifier. Nor would the guy who shot my ultimate nullifier. And so you'll be back down one I'd be like what's that gun I'd be like I don't know it's pretty dangerous

yeah the best way to stop the nullifier is with another ultimate nullifier and then when that happens and then you've got this thing which you don't really know what it is because you got it to stop the ultimate nullifier I don't know a fucked up gun I don't know what this is I'm like hey

man shoot an apple all right I got no idea might as well shoot a bluzz not off my head. That's what we have. Yeah, that's fair. Shoots the bloznut. Are you going to shoot me with that gun? No, I don't. Stuck in a loop. Do you know what this is? I've got no idea. It lets you in a frisnag gun. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Shoot the frisnag gun.

It's so easy to get trapped in a loop. Hey, what if you shot my head? Well... I guess you never existed. I don't think you could shoot body parts. No. Because that would just be a whole person gone. Yeah. You probably could. Your intention would have to be...

So, for example, you're holding a gun to a loved one's head, and I'm like, well, I don't want to kill Jackson because he's been a good friend up until this point. But I have the ultimate modifier so I'm going to shoot his hand so he could never hold that gun.

Kind of like a looper situation. Then I would have just never had a hand. And then you would have never had that hand. That's so funny. Then you hold it with the other hand. Holding it with my foot. Wow, he really foot to your hand. He really wants to kill me.

It's crazy that even these huge lifestyle changes have still led him to this exact moment where he's going to shoot a loved one. Because it would be lifestyle changes. Seemingly inevitable. Because then you shot the gun out of your hand, you shot your hand, and it was like, well, you never had a hand, so then that would, of course, alter your whole existence

because you would have to be doing everything with your non-dominant hand, which, of course, would alter X, Y, and Z. But yeah, it's great that it all leads back to that one point of me shooting them off 20 and down. I guess it's a fixed point in time. Nothing we can do about it. Yeah.

So you could shoot off some limbs, but probably not others. Yes. Yeah, you know? I think, again, because it comes down to your intention. Because if you're shooting at something and miss, and your intention is to erase it, then yeah. So, like, say, apple on your head. I'm like, I'm going to erase this apple from existence. And then I hit you.

It's not just going to remove your head. It'll be you forever. Yes, that's true. Because you're removing. But if you were like, I'm going to remove. But if I'm like, I'm going to remove your head it'll be you forever yes that's true because you're moving but if you were like but if i'm like i'm gonna remove the stem or something of the apple yeah it would remove my stem your spine i always only had balls which is cool about me that's such a funny thing to say I piss from my balls That makes sense Oh you missed the apple

Also I've always only had balls I know Of course Oh yeah cool Anyway let's try again Yeah the fact that it Ultimately like Nullifies the memory of you firing it, I think, is the biggest problem.

Yeah, but also, okay, let's assume you don't remember firing it, but you look down at your hands and you know you have fired it. Yeah, it's smoking, and you're like, obviously, I don't know what I nullified, but I have nullified something. So if you go back to me sleeping on the train tracks, I will look down, I'll see the smoking nullifier, I'll be like, I must have just shot a train? I guess I would make that logical jump, but it could be anything. It could be somebody else who wants to sleep in my spot on the track. Someone's come at you with a gun, a knife, whatever. Yeah, I guess there's so many things it could be.

But also, if you've nullified the train and it's removed trains, or you've nullified something where it's removed it entirely, you're not going to know because you're not going to remember it existing. Yeah, but you know you did something, unless you nullify the concept of trains. Well, say you go back to the wall situation, and you then find yourself aiming outside your house. You might be like,

am I about to shoot the trees? Yeah. Or my neighbor? There's no walls. Your neighbor's just staring at you. What? Maybe I shot my neighbor's husband. Are you about to shoot me?

I don't think, I don't know. I don't think so. Did you have a partner? No, I don't think so. You wouldn't know, though. You wouldn't know if you had. What? I might have, never mind.

That's the cool thing about no wall earth. You're so close to your neighbors. You've watched them in their house. No privacy. That's all we love. That's so close to your neighbors. You've watched them in their house. No privacy. It's all we love. It's awesome. It's great. It's funny to think we love it, but it's also funny to think we fucking hate it.

Yeah. I wish my neighbors couldn't see me shit, but I don't know what the fuck to do about it. Surely it can't just be like, yeah, you shoot a wall. It can't just be the concept of walls everywhere. It has to be that wall. That particular wall. It never existed. It never existed.

So I suppose instead of being like, I live in no wall universe, you're like, I must have at some point thought it was a good idea to have an open house. Yeah. And now I'm thinking maybe. And now I hate it. Yeah. Now I can see my neighbor. Yeah. Patch that up.

Or like with your shoe theory. Yeah. It just gets patched up with a different wall. What? I'm wearing walls see my neighbor. Patch that up. Or like with your shoe theory, it just gets patched up with a different wall. What? I'm wearing walls on my feet. No, it's like with the wall, right? You shoot it. You're like, oh, well.

Oh, right. It's a different way. It's plaster and insulation and wood, basically. You're like, oh, well, I guess I went for a brick aesthetic in this section. And only this section. So actually, if that's how it works, for some instances, it's kind of a bit harmless. You know what I mean? Yeah.

You shoot your wall. Yeah. I mean, unless you really want to get rid of the wall, because then you're stuck in a loop, because you're eternally shooting your wall. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But if you just wanted to, it was an accident, it was a misfire or whatever, you were pretending to be a cowboy. I know. But misfires in the comics have resulted in people getting eradicated. That has happened?

Okay. Yeah, Titus, or whatever his name is, eradicates himself accidentally. Whoops. Well, you wouldn't know. If it's like that, where you can kind of like, oh, shit, I fucked up. And, okay, if I use this in a strategic way to be like, I always had to fix that problem. So I'm thinking like the building industry is a pretty decent way to use it. Oh, yeah.

Because like at the, you know, when things have happened, like, oh, fuck, we didn't, you know, take into consideration this thing. Yeah, we made a mistake. We made a mistake. We put the wrong kind of wall up or whatever. Yeah. Or it's like, oh, I wish we hadn't put that power socket here. I wish it was over there instead.

All those little things that happen. And you're like, oh, well, I'm going to use this ultimate nullifier to be like, we never made those mistakes. We're, in fact, clever geniuses. If there's, like, physical evidence of an event, could you ultimate nullify the event? So, like, the Westgate Bridge in Melbourne, that collapsed when they were building it. And they were like, oh, we fucked it. You wade out into the river, shoot it while it's in the river. Yeah.

Bridge was never built. Everything's fine. Well, I don't know. Is it bridge was never built or when it collapsed, there was no debris somehow? There's no debris that ended up there. Yeah. Does the debris just shift?

Well, like, say, for example, a crime scene. Yeah. Like a couple of days after the event where someone- Oh, if you nullify the evidence, it doesn't mean that the crime- No, no, no. I was going to say where they've put that outline of the dude there, maybe some blood or whatever. You go there and you all nullify that.

A cop gets in trouble because they're like, Officer Maroney, did you do the chalk outline? And they're like, no. Okay, so like, yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know why. But then the blood, if there was like a blood stain on like whatever You make the crime scene more confusing Because the person was probably still stabbed

No blood came out Or all got on their clothes Yeah It's somewhere else and it means Because blood splatter will tell you a lot about the crime So people will probably think it went differently Or it did go differently. They were wearing another jumper when they got stabbed, so there was no blood splurt.

Yeah. Okay. If I was a crime fighter and I worked at the evidence locker and I had the ultimate nullifier and there was a knife. Like, oh, this is the thing that stabbed that guy or whatever. I ultimate nullified the knife to not exist. Have I saved a life? That would save some lives. I think if it's a premeditated murder, no.

Yeah, that's true. If it's a crime of passion, possibly. No, but also if it's a crime of passion, they'd have found something else. Or it's like, yeah, like they've gone to stab him. And then like it's changed now to yeah like a big lamp yeah or a chainsaw

yeah you're like oh no made it way worse or you're not you're just like that's a grizzly crime yeah

that's a grizzly chain I'm gonna nullify that yeah exactly then it just gets worse and worse I mean I guess eventually you might get it to a universe

where they didn't like if someone dies cause they fell on a knife and you ultimate nullify the knife, then maybe they live because the knife was never there. Yeah, that's true. If you nullify the knife, say, and then it changes to, say, like a rolling pin. Yeah. Chances are maybe they kind of like, you know, would have gone differently.

Yeah. That's all I'm saying. It's also funny, though, to imagine you're in the evidence locker and you're like, I'm going to save some lives and you nullify all the evidence and all you've done is made, like, thousands of unsolvable cases. We never found any murder weapons.

This police department hasn't found a murder weapon for years. We are so fucking incompetent. We have an epidemic of a lot of murderless weapon murders. We don't know how they're doing it. Yeah. Never seen just a single bit of evidence. People are stabbing people with maybe their bare hands.

We don't know. We find heaps of bodies where they've got nothing on them. No evidence whatsoever. We interview. We finally catch someone because they've got blood all over their hands. Like, how did you stab this guy ten times and they only respond with my own hands? No, I had to do it with my hands.

I don't know. I just could. That's funny as well because when you get rid of all the evidence, you in the evidence locker are like, I have the most boring, nothing to catalog anymore. Yeah, hands. Not more fingerprints, but a lot of sharp hands.

Oh, trying to take down someone that you know stabbed someone ten times with their bare hands. That's terrifying. That is scary. That's terrifying. You've just made a new murder. I just made a knife hand universe. Fuck.

Trying to do good. Okay, what if somebody's gonna shoot me with a gun yeah right my comeuppance has happened

chickens are roosting I'm reaping I'm reaping are they home Jackson chickens may be home I've sowed enough

and it's reaping time yeah and somebody's gonna gun to me they fire a gun and I ultimate nullify the bullet yeah

before it hits me in the head the second bullet is coming straight I ultimate nullify the bullet before it hits me in the head. The second bullet's coming straight at you. I ultimate nullify that. Yeah. Would I eventually get to a point where they didn't have any rounds in the chamber? Or would it be like they just hadn't fired it and then they would fire it again? I think it would be that they forgot to load their gun before they shoot.

Yeah, okay. Or like the cartridge, it was like a dud cartridge. before they shoot. Yeah, okay. Or like the cartridge, it was like a dud cartridge. Like a bullet. Alternatively,

there's a chance if you ultimate nullify enough bullets that eventually you're getting shot by something else because bullets don't exist. Nails or something. And it's way, way worse. It's just the guns

hitting the head. Then I'm arrested. Yeah, damn. Thank God we invented these throwing guns. It's very tricky, ultimate nullifier. It's dangerous and it's confusing. Is there a sensible or responsible way to do it? Or is it...

No! I don't think there is. It's dangerous as hell. You're going to get two ultimate nullifiers, aim them at each other and fire. That's the only way to do it. Yeah. So there was never any ultimate nullifiers If that doesn't work you've got to shoot one and chuck the other one in the river Hope a fish doesn't use it

What does a fish want? What does a fish want? More or less fish More water? That would be like getting more earth People like more land When they buy a house. But fish don't have money.

Fish don't have money. Fish sometimes just like a bit of driftwood. Yeah. They hide under it. Something to nibble on, I guess, worms. Nibble on it.

Worms. Little fish it can eat or does it wish it was bigger? But then ultimate nullifier would be the opposite of what it needs for those situations because it's not a genie lamp.

If it wants more stuff, too bad. It only helps if there's less stuff. And also a fish doesn't know what it is. So a fish is just firing it kind of at random. Which, as we know, may accidentally get it to shoot itself and that fish never exists. Yeah, I guess it's just bad for the fishermen for that part of the river who are like, not many fish in the river. Don't know what that's about. I guess there never was many fish in this part of the river. It like, not many fish in the river. Don't know what that's about. I guess there never was many fish

in this part of the river. It's always bad. Don't fish here. Which works, because then people aren't going to find the nullifier. Eventually it's just buried by silt. And then if people don't fish there, I guess more fish would arrive there. That's kind of nice. And then the fishermen come back. That's true. Then they earn sort of a cycle.

It's kind of like the ring from Lord of the Rings. Or like the tape from the ring In a way It always finds someone It always fucks them up The ultimate nullifier really wants to be fired We don't know why It wants to nullify It loves to nullify

Well I think the ultimate nullifier It's bad and no one should use it. I agree. And on that note, I've been Joel. I've been Jackson. And I've also been Joel. Oh, wait, no.

We just nullify ourselves. Oh, that's a great idea. No podcast called Plumbing Without Star ever existed. You're welcome. you