Plumbing the Death Star - Was Jake Sully a Good Idea?
Episode Date: December 4, 2022It's December and the most exciting time of the year is almost upon us! That’s right Avatar: Way of Water is out on 15 December and to celebrate the Plumbing Boys have decided to bring you a 4 part ...special: Plumbatar. What better way to spend December than with ya boys as we all get collectively depressed that we can't be on the magical world of Pandora and being wet Na'vi. We See you.Buy our terrible merch here and check out the Bad Brain Boys on Apple Podcasts at apple.co/badbrainboys. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Ahem.
You're listening to the SanchPants Network.
Hello and welcome to the first episode of our very special event, Plumbitar.
I see you.
And today, I'm Joel.
Today I'm Jackson.
And I am also Joel.
And I see you.
I see you too. I see you. I see Jackson. And I am also Joel. And I see you. I see you too.
I see you.
I see you.
And today we are asking the important question,
was Jake Sully a good idea?
So in the incredible film, 2009's Avatar.
If you've come to Plumbitar a bit late and Avatar Way of the Water is out,
you're late and we're on time.
We haven't seen it yet.
We're on time for us.
You're late for us, but we're on time for us.
Exactly. So Avatar Way of Water is going to come out in the short, maybe what, three?
No, two weeks from now.
Two weeks.
15th of December, provided there's no global catastrophe between recording this and then.
What's the chance of that happening?
It's never happened in my lifetime.
Never happened to us before.
We're recording this in 2017.
Can't wait to go to the UK for the first time
Tomorrow boys
But in 2009's Avatar
The main character
The protagonist is Jake Sully
And he gets to go to Pandora
Because
He is a genetic match
To his brother
Tommy Sully That's a brother Tommy Tommy Sully
that's a funny name
Tommy Sully
it's good
because
Thomas Sully
sounds good
Tommy Sully
sounds stupid
is Jake short for Jacob
I think it's short for Jakey
Jakey Sully
that makes sense
but anyway
Tom Sully
talks it
stabbed
stabbed
stabbed by an unknown
individual a crazy choice for his death but whatever and so instead Jake Sully parks it. Stabbed. Stabbed. Stabbed by an unknown individual.
A crazy choice for his death, but whatever.
And so instead, Jake Sully is asked by the military to take his place.
Because Jake Sully is a Marine.
Yes.
Was he asked by the military or is he asked by the scientists?
It's the military, I think.
Or the people in charge overall.
I think it's the people in charge overall because the military seemed pretty stoked to have him. It's not a military. No, but the military, I think. Or the people in charge overall. I think it's the people in charge overall, because the military seemed pretty stoked to have it.
It's not a military.
No, but the military.
No, no, no.
As in, like, isn't it a private endeavor?
Private security force?
Yeah, so it's a private company,
and they have hired ex-military who are kind of like,
you know, just grunts now,
but they're using them as a military force.
That's right, you're right.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So I guess the overarching company,
who I don't know the name of.
Yeah.
Cause it's cause the company hires,
um,
the company is hiring.
They've got,
basically you've got,
uh,
Giovanni Ribisi.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Who's like head of making money.
And then from there you have the scientists who are like studying the,
the,
the,
but then you also have just like the Jarheads.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Which seems very funny.
Because the Jarheads, and this is also crazy, are also in charge of construction.
Yeah.
And destruction.
They've kind of got their soldiers pulling double duty.
Yeah.
Because they drive the big tractors and stuff after Jake and Eterio are hanging out in the octagon.
RDA, of course.
Research. The course. Research.
Yes.
Research.
Yes.
In brackets.
Resources.
Pandora.
Resources Development Administration.
Okay.
Because it seems that maybe you should have had a third branch of engineers.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
For sure.
Maybe they do.
We just don't see it.
I mean, the army in real has a lot of engineers.
That's true. I mean, and the guys real has a lot of engineers. That's true.
I mean, and the guys in the offices are probably engineers.
Yeah, true.
We've got admin and that.
It just seems like the scientists who would be like,
we have an outreach for the indigenous population there.
They seem like a little out of place.
Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
I think, but wasn't it like part of the reason they're there is because
if they have that group,
then they can do all of their rank shit because they're like, oh, we're placating this.
It runs well for PR reasons.
Yeah, it runs well for PR reasons.
And they've tried and failed basically already.
Because they're like, here's a school.
No one cared for the school.
No one cares.
They can fucking honk into the fucking
earth.
Fuck.
If you can fucking honk into a goddamn
hippopotamus. Yeah.
I don't need to fucking look at a hippopotamus. I just gotta be like
hippopotamus, what are you thinking?
Oh, that's my thoughts.
Pedestrian, it must be to show the
Na'vi a photograph of a hippopotamus.
Yeah, or here's a book.
I don't care.
Who gives a fuck?
I can go into that.
It's like get their little fucking hair dick into the fucking book.
I'm in the book.
Little tendrils like scanning, trying to look for an opposite honk.
A honk hole.
I mean, if they ever, like, say, build structures
to the point where they have libraries,
would every book not be like what we imagine a book would be?
It would be a hole.
But it would be like just a sphincter of some kind.
Well, no, because it would also have the same, like,
tendril thing that you just honk into.
It would probably be like the tree.
The tree is basically a library already.
It's just a library full of non-fiction books.
Well, unless you thought about something cool.
Give me the coolest thing anyone's thought about.
Blunk.
Whoa!
Yeah, that's a pretty cool story.
That's awesome.
Do they have one guy who just thinks pornos?
He must be.
Yeah, the designated porno guy. He thinks erotic thoughts I like to think so. He just sits in the corner.
Yeah, the designated porno guy.
Thinks erotic thoughts and everyone can look into him to get off.
Yeah.
Anyway, I'm just world building over here.
Don't mind me.
Anyway, so is it a good idea?
Because like Tommy Sully.
Yeah, he's a scientist.
He was a genius.
Yeah.
Clever man.
Kept doing a lot of research.
Three years into the whole Avatar program to be in Avatar was just like, I got shit covered. Yeah. And then man. Kept doing a lot of research. Three years into the whole Avatar program, to be an
Avatar was just like, I got shit covered.
Yeah. And then like, well, he dead.
We've got this expensive Avatar. Yeah.
That's genetically matched to
Tommy. Tommy.
Oh, he's got a twin. Oh, okay. Well,
we'll chuck that fella in there.
Yeah. And
we'll figure it out when he gets there.
Yeah. He's had no training
I understand it from the perspective of
If the plan was
Well we have an avatar
And it can only really be used by
Well Jake Sully now
Okay well what are Jake Sully's skills
Oh he was in the military
Okay well actually if we have
The plan was always going to be
you're going to be running security as an avatar
which was something that they just threw at Jake
Yeah, he didn't know that
until he arrived.
Also, neither did
Grace. Nobody
knew this. No one knew.
Also, what's the point of running security as an avatar?
Yeah, well, you're tall.
Because the Na'vi are going to see You can save a rebreather, I guess. Because the Na'vi point of running security as an avatar yeah well you're tall because the navi you don't you can
save a rebreather i guess because the navi see you and they're like i see you yeah i see they
see you and hate you yeah they're like you're not real yeah you're a kind of horrible ghost in a
puppet of flesh but i got a machine gun. Avatar, Na'vi,
immune to their own,
their bone,
their,
their,
their not bone.
No,
their bones are made of, their bones are superdads.
Yeah.
Made of 10 times stronger than,
yeah.
Human bone.
No,
than Kevlar,
don't they say?
Yeah,
something like that.
They got like,
reinforced carbon bones.
So they're strong.
Yeah.
But you know,
we have mechs. Yeah, they got mechs. But you know, we have mechs.
Yeah,
they got mechs.
Why?
I guess it's less threatening.
It's not a stealth mission
is pretty much what I'm saying.
Yeah.
And also what's weird
is that,
so like,
okay,
they were clearly running
military ops of some kind
as well as the scientific ops,
right?
But for some reason
he's security detail
on the scientific ops
it's not like they're like
now we have a Na'vi in our ranks
that's not what happens
it's what happens under the table
but it's not what happens
and it's not like the avatars
are subtle
they're very obviously not the Na'vi
because they have the five fingers
five toes and they're broader in the chest.
And they just look a bit more human.
A little off, yeah.
Everyone can just look at them and be like, oh, you're not one of us.
Yeah, exactly.
You're an avatar.
Yeah.
So you can't really use them as a sort of infiltration force.
No.
And you only got one.
Yeah.
So you can't even use them as like a strike force that may be
in the cover of darkness that you can't maybe a quick glance you're like they're just regular
navi oh shit they're not now we're getting shot yeah so you can't really use them and also like
yeah i don't know how a navi you know how like if if jake sully was an assassin yes and you had to
kill the head of the navi now that would that would i understand why
the military like the rda well we want them but even then i would almost just use jake sully as
a regular guy yeah like you don't what's the benefit well because if he's enough as in as
an actor he just wears shoes he's just shoes and gloves well so no one can tell that he does he's
got five fingers well but then they'll be like, why are you dressed fucked up?
The same reason that they're like,
why are you wearing that t-shirt?
Yeah, literally, you're in
cargo shorts.
Avatar do have nipples.
That's something that on a rewatch and first watch
for some of us, we realized.
The Avatar have nipples.
And presumably milk.
Oh!
What color?
Bioluminescent, certainly.
It'd probably just be like a glowing white.
I mean, most animal milk is white.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
There's probably a reason for that.
Not what I know.
Calcium?
Yeah, but is it just that they-
I'm just trying to think, right?
What is? Cum. Why is cum white? Yeah, is it it just that they... I'm just trying to think, right? What is cum?
Why is cum white?
Yeah, is it the same reason...
Cum is proteins.
Yeah.
Cum is also kind of blood, but different.
Yeah.
Full of guys.
Is milk kind of blood, but different?
By that definition?
That's absolutely one way
of describing milk.
It's hard to say if it's a correct one or not,
but it is something you could say.
I mean, at some point, surely
it had to... Are you saying milk started
as blood? Didn't most things start
as blood? Blood is thicker than
water, and milk is thicker than water.
This is like, all goes in in and it gets filtered down.
It starts as blood, then it goes in the tit and becomes milk.
Well, no, because blood is the way of transporting nutrients, right?
So I get blood from my heart, goes right down to my balls.
Turns into cum.
Turns into cum.
Comes out my wiener.
That can't be right.
I don't think, I think there's more
processes involved.
The testicles produce
the semen, the sperm.
Where did the cum start?
And then vas deferens happens.
That's a thing.
And we know you can't piss and cum
at the same time.
Yeah.
Breasts are full of little capillaries.
Does the milk start there?
Well, it's going to come from somewhere.
It's just matter, right?
Yeah.
We're all stardust and cummies.
We're all stardust and cummies.
What the fuck is milk or cum?
White.
We know it's white, and we know it's like
blood, but different. Those are the things
we know about milk and cum.
Milk comes from nipples.
Cum comes from balls.
Okay, alright.
That's a start.
There's all glands.
Mammary glands.
Testicular glands.
No, that's not the gland
you have glands
at the tip of your penis
but maybe they're glands
with no D
yeah
what's a gland
versus a gland?
I don't know
the difference
of a gland
and a gland
is gland real?
gland is real
but don't you say
my glands
if you're referring
to the tip of your penis
I've never referred to the tip of my penis by calling it a gland.
There is a gland.
I'd say my beautiful knob.
There is a gland.
My beautiful knob's feeling real sensitive at the moment, babe.
I've got a real tickly little knob down there.
Your glands are inflamed when you're saying that's your gland-er.
And gland-er.
Is gland-er real?
Do you have glands?
Can you just Google glands? I'm looking at it!
I'm looking at it!
Glands versus glands. What's the difference?
There it is!
Glands are real!
As a verb, glands is.
As a noun, glands is. What does that mean?
I'm glan-ed.
But I've got glans.
My glans are glan-ed.
Gland, noun, head.
Glans, noun, the vascular body which forms the apex of the penis.
The vascular body which forms the extremity of the clitoris.
I know my cock, boys.
I know my cock. The acorn or mast of the extremity of the clitoris. I know my cock, boys! I know my cock!
The acorn or mast of the oak
and similar fruits. A goiter.
The tip of your penis
is like a goiter. But also
glands. This is noun in brackets
head, but then it just has like little dots.
So I don't know what that's meant
to mean. So a gland.
So the tip of your penis is your gland.
And same with your clitoris. And your clitoris
is your gland, but then you have glands
that can get glandular fever.
But if you're a penis or you're clitoris,
that would be glandular fever.
You don't want glandular fever.
You don't want glandular fever.
Well, because glandular fever is sometimes
called the kissing disease, so I guess glandular
fever would be the sock joke disease.
The tip of wiener
to clitoris disease? Yeah.
Maybe we're clever.
Oh my god. Clever! That was the right
expression. Yeah.
Frightened and a little sick.
Did you know milk is just filtered blood?
Oh!
Oh!
The boys
are geniuses! We've been smart from the start
We've always been fucking clever
Can you check if cum is also filtered
Blood
It's not
Blood to milk
Then milk to cum
Yeah the balls actually make blood into milk
And then the milk into cum
You can be milked
It just says look blood in semen is not great.
Yeah, I have heard that.
If you're cumming blood, stop cumming.
You're in trouble, pal.
Stop cumming, start going to a doctor.
Look at how cum made.
How cum made?
How cum made?
I got cum.
How cum made? Well, I know how to make cum, actually.
Oh, yeah.
I'm actually pretty good at it.
Just tug on your disgusting little wiener.
For two to five minutes.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And baby, you got cum.
Yeah, various results.
Results me very.
Results me very.
Okay.
There's tiny tubes in the testicles.
Just filled up with cum.
There's a hormone, testosterone.
So we're a bit clever.
I think we're a bit clever.
I think the jury's still out on whether cum is blood.
But certainly milk is blood.
So we'll take that win.
Sperms produced in testicles.
I mean, sperm's definitely not blood because it's little guys.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But semen might be blood.
Anyway. But semen might be blood. Anyway.
But squirts piss.
But squirts piss.
That's true.
Oh, the boys are doing an Avatar miniseries.
That's awesome because the new movie's coming out.
The old movie got re-released, sorry, and the new movie's coming out. Very exciting.
This is a great way to kickstart my December.
Oh no! It's not ended.
They've learnt a lot, but they've hurt me.
Have they learnt?
Will they remember this?
No.
Oh no.
I never like this as a sentence.
Someone has also asked this question.
Great.
Is sperm made out of blood?
The answer, not literally, but in a way, yes.
Yes.
Hoof, hoof, hoof.
And can you just finally Google, is squirt piss?
If squirt is piss, that's awesome.
Yeah.
So, yes, blood brings oxygen nutrients to the testicles.
In fact, everything in our body gets oxygen nutrients from blood.
So while blood should not be present in sperm.
Yeah, yeah.
Again, stop coming, start going to the doctor.
It is responsible for the sperm production process.
I'll take it.
Well, yeah, I'll take it too.
I mean, pretty much we're taking the win.
Is sperm made of blood? No
But it's involved in the process
But everything's made of blood
It's grey squirt
Conclusion
The present data based on
Ultrasonographic bladder monitoring
And biochemical analysis
Indicates that squirting is essentially
The involuntary emission of urine.
Fuck, yeah.
Squirt is piss.
Squirt is piss.
Piss on my dick.
A marginal contribution of prostatic secretions
to the emitted fluid often exists.
So it's piss plus.
Call me piss.
It's piss plus.
It's piss plus.
So if you do subscribe to piss plus. Anyway. It's Piss Plus. It's Piss Plus. So if you subscribe to Piss Plus.
Anyway.
Anyway.
The avatars.
I don't even remember.
We walked into a scary forest.
We took the wrong path.
Going back to avatar.
Was anyone breastfeeding an avatar?
Is that how we got an avatar it was about i i pointed out that jake
sully wears a shirt shoes thank you thank you okay so yeah fuck it up so imagine so if you
were say um rda and you're like well maybe i want to assassinate the king of the navi yeah and while
we have this person who is a trained assassin
and that they are in an avatar, doesn't look like a Na'vi,
but they're at least Na'vi enough that we can at least send them in
and under the cover of darkness, they can kind of get in and get out.
So that's one option of like, that makes sense.
But we don't have this.
We just have Jake, who is a jarhead.
Yeah, he's just a kind of doofus who is not trained on any,
no briefing.
He receives no briefing whatsoever.
Yeah, so.
He knows he's meant to be sort of like know about science,
and he's given a manual on being in an avatar.
And so it was like, yeah, we are here to make contact with people.
And then it's, well, look, you know, he's there and he can run security.
And that's good.
Because I guess running a mech is expensive.
Is it?
Yeah.
But less expensive than Avatar?
Yeah, let's think about this from the perspective of RDA.
What's more cost effective?
Paying Jake Sully, you know,
theoretically millions of dollars to go to Pandora for six years.
Asterix.
He might die.
He might die. He might die!
He might die.
Because the alternative is you flush the Avatar, right?
Yeah, you flush the Avatar or you've got to pay Jake Sully millions of dollars for his
journey to Pandora.
But we are getting a lot of unobtainium.
And also the chance of him dying are kind of high.
His next of kin is already fucking dead.
Yeah.
So if he does die, well, maybe
we take a sneaky insurance policy out of him
as RDA ourselves.
And if he dies, well, if he dies,
he dies, and we get rich.
So I was going to say that, I was like,
oh yeah, assassin, yeah, that sort of makes sense. And I was like,
oh, well, hang on. If you contract the
Na'vi, then you could get him for, like,
recon. Yeah. Because, like, he'll
do better in just the natural environment.
That's true.
Especially as a marine.
He doesn't need a rebreather, which presumably have a shelf life.
Yeah, so he doesn't need a rebreather, blends into the wildlife and stuff,
and Na'vi stands a better chance against those fucked up hammerhead dogs.
And I guess with enough proper training,
could have been aware that maybe don't run from the cat thing and stand your ground from the hammerhead dog.
Yeah.
But.
He gets nothing.
But.
Yes.
I was going to be like, oh, yeah, recon.
But they have big scanny things because they know that the Unobtainium is.
No, not just that.
They have big scanny things because they know how many people are amassing on the big tree.
Yeah.
The only thing they don't know is what's in the big tree.
But I don't.
That's important.
But they know what's under the big tree.
They just don't know how the big tree is held up.
Yeah.
Is that why they got him?
Well, yeah.
Hey, does it have columns?
Yeah.
All right.
You've done your job.
Yeah.
You can retire now, friend.
Yeah.
Because he's like, okay, I'm doing some recon there.
This is the structure.
There's columns in it.
This is in a circle.
There's like this.
That's how they go up.
There's like a spiral.
So they go up the tree.
Is that good?
Yeah, is that all he learns for them?
He learns that they won't give up.
Because like, this is important.
That's all he learns for the military.
What he actually learns is How to fuck a horse
How to fuck a bird
How to fuck a bigger bird
How to fuck a pretty lady
How to fuck a tree
How to fuck a tree
And therefore fucking I guess the lady that you just had sex with
His grandma
That's awesome intergenerational
That's nice
Yeah fucking that tree means you fucked everyone That has been and will be That's awesome Intergenerational Yeah That's nice Yeah Fucking that tree
Means you fucked
Everyone that has been
And will be
Yeah
That's awesome
That's far out
Actually no
That's a bit sad
Cause like
No cause you fuck
You fuck the tree
You just fuck your ancestors
You don't fuck
Whatever your ancestors
It's not yours
Well it will be yours
Yes that is true
Once he's in marriage
Yeah
But at that point in time
It's awesome
Yeah It's one of the best things He's ever done tribe. Yeah, but at that point in time, it's awesome. Yeah
It's one of the best things he's ever done. It's only it'll be ancestors in laws. So whatever
I was gonna say because if you fuck everything all at once in one fuck then there's no fucks
And then he cried or whatever because there was no more fucks to fuck yeah
no more fucks to fuck
that's so sad
what's important
Mr. Army Man
it is brave to
profess this is what's important
yeah yeah
this is the most important thing I'm gonna say in this episode
okay
did
uh was the plan It is. This is the most important thing I'm going to say in this episode. Did.
Was the plan.
The important thing he's going to say is a question.
Did was the plan.
Yeah, did was the plan.
Yeah.
Did.
Did was the plan did.
Did RDA.
Yeah. Know from the beginning. Yeah. That the plan was to put Jake Sully in there as a kind of spy?
Was that why they got his body?
Or was that something that Mr. Army Man was like,
oh, this would be a good idea whilst Jake Sully was on the base?
Because those are two different scenarios.
Why is that important?
It's in the movie.
It tells you what happened.
It's the second.
Yeah, yeah.
Okay, so it is this, but I wasn't sure if it was kind of like
there's this unsaid element where maybe the RDA was like,
this will be something you could use him for.
Approach him when he's on the base.
Don't approach him beforehand.
No, because they talk about it not in front of Jake,
about how they hear that there's a Marine in the Avatar company.
That's, so what?
Well, it was the least important thing I was going to say.
And it was a question.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I think it's just more.
Because then I was like, well, then it makes sense.
Because if Adier, like, well, we'll have a guy who's a grunt.
Yeah.
Who's maybe more.
He can play both sides. Yeah, he's more in line. He can line with play all three so yeah more in line with what we want to do we
want to mine this planet for its resources he's not a hippie in the science department but no
it's not that's not what they did no it must be more cost effective to pay jake sully to be an
avatar than to just flush the avatar body down the drain or whatever. Yeah, well, there is a lot of...
It's one line.
I'm trying to remember what it was.
It was when Grace comes up to Giovanni Ribisi
and he's just like, you fucked me.
Stop playing golf with the fucking mug.
Yeah, and I was too busy focusing on the golf.
Yeah, me too.
Yeah, but she's like, you sent me a grunt.
And then he's like, you're going to get...
He's going to be security detail. I think he's like, your sent me a grunt. And then he's like, he's like, you're going to get, he's going to be security detail.
I think he's like, your department is basically meaningless.
Let us do what we want.
Pretty much.
Yeah.
But that's insane.
If then why?
Like, why bring Jake Sully at all?
Why not just chop up the avatar for parts?
What for what?
I don't know.
See what's in it.
But they grew it.
They know what's in it.
Well, you've got to do something with the recycle.
It's somehow. That's what they did.. But they grew it. They know what's in it. Well, you've got to do something with it. Recycle it somehow.
That's what they did. They put Jake Sully in it.
You've got to pay Jake Sully and then fix his legs on top of that. They weren't gonna.
I guess the military guy was gonna fix his legs.
Yeah.
So you're paying Jake Sully to come out.
Like, is that gonna...
The thing is that you're earning
20 million a kilo of unobtainium, right?
There's a lot of unobtainium. So if you're getting that much money, a lot of this is just being funded so you can kind of that you're earning $20 million a kilo of unobtainium, right? Okay. There's a lot of unobtainium.
So if you're getting that much money, a lot of this is just being funded.
So you're earning a lot of coin here.
I guess it's hand to do a lot of these things. If I had a car that only you could drive, and I had a choice, it was like...
It's a decent amount of coin.
Yeah.
You've got a car that only I can drive, and you could either scrap the car and get a little bit of money,
or you could pay me to drive the car for six years.
What's more cost effective for you?
But if you drive the car, then you have the car,
which is less annoying for me.
And I've got other guys in other cars.
And I guess having one more car is good.
This metaphor is good.
You send the cars out into the woods
to try and find you
honey.
Which I could sell for $20 million a kilo.
Is it better to pay me to be your car
or to just sell the car?
The parts.
But the car's a guy.
And the parts I'd be selling, he was like, arm and leg.
Yeah.
So, Giovanni Ribisi, Mr. Parker Selfridge.
Yeah.
Great name.
So, yeah, he wants a diplomatic solution initially.
Oh, okay.
That is his whole point.
And he was like, this is why.
Well, try a diplomatic solution because it's better PR.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And it's just like, that's the whole reason you're here kind of thing.
It's just like, we're on the brink of war and you're supposed to be finding a diplomatic solution.
And that's kind of what he wants Dr. Grace to do.
Well, that's what she's been doing.
She's like, go in at the school and you shut down the school.
And he's like, they don't give a fuck about the school.
They hate you.
They can fuck an elephant to learn history okay and again and the whole thing why he's like
you know telling maybe someone up there is like look we've tried the scientist route yeah and
they're too you know i've lost the ideas they're in their ivory tower i don't know maybe if we get
a grunt yeah okay they'll figure it's a it's's a lot of wishful thinking.
Maybe, all right, so if we assume that they just are stacked with cash,
and they're like, we'll just get this grunt in there,
and we'll figure out what to do with him when he arrives.
We'll figure that out down the track.
Yeah, because there's also that conversation where it's like,
how lucky should you be that Jake is a perfect match for the Avatar,
and not only is he a perfect match, he's not out there being like an oral hygienist.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He's a Marine.
So we can use him for something.
Yeah.
And I guess it must ultimately be worth it for them to have him be in the Avatar
than to just, I don't know, throw the Avatar out in the trash.
Yeah, well, because we see a lot of Avatars at the start.
Yeah, yeah.
They're clearly building up to do something,
but then they never use them.
Because Grace is good at being an avatar.
Yeah.
And then Jake Sully is just awesome straight off the bat.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He's just so stoked to be an avatar that he gets really awesome at it.
He runs out of there.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He goes nuts.
And he eats the fruit.
Yeah, it's awesome.
It is awesome.
It is very good.
But it's funny because
Did it
Okay
I'm just trying
Because clearly
She didn't know
That she was getting Jake
Yes
Until like
She knew she was getting
A new recruit
She knew she was getting
A Sully
Yeah that's all she knew
No she
She knew she was getting
Jake by the time he arrives
She just doesn't know
How untrained he is Yeah yeah yeah Okay Yeah because she's shocked By how little he knows So she's very Jake by the time he arrives. She just doesn't know how untrained he is.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay.
Yeah, because she's shocked by how little he knows.
So she's very mad at the whole situation.
Which, that's also a crazy element of it that they didn't, like, this is a pretty, I assume, untested technology?
Well, I mean, there's a bunch of guys.
It's not that untested.
Maybe it's not.
But there's a manual.
Yeah, I guess maybe it's the kind of thing you can just chuck someone and then they'll figure out you know yeah because they don't really have like a well they're trying to
run tests on him when he runs out of the room yeah yeah yeah i suppose yeah i suppose if he hadn't
gone like crazy out of the gate they would have maybe they were gonna sedate him yeah yeah yeah
and and and then when they sedate him he would have woken up as jake again because we learned
that in the movie
once again it's great that no one is
communicating what the fuck is going on
everywhere because like he is
a jarhead he is a military
he knows what following orders are about
initially he is like
I'm just following orders I'm doing what I'm told
I'm doing exactly what military
want me to do the RDA they want me to run
recon and I'm being the soldier boy of doing that
when he's like
cool, I have woken up an avatar
and everyone's like hey, just fucking settle
because we gotta make sure that you're sweet
he's like nah, run it
sorry, haven't had legs for a very long time
I can only assume that
it's fucked his brain a little bit
well, it would, it's a crazy thing to do without ever
having done it before. Yeah.
What I want to know is, Grace,
how many hours have you logged to the
nerd guy?
Doing what? Well, I'm assuming
they... So there must be avatars
on Earth. Well, there's something
on Earth, not the Na'vi avatars,
because they were grown
during the flight.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Because he's like, oh, wow, it's grown so much.
They probably have a fake avatar.
They probably just got, like, a robot or some shit.
Yeah, like a guy you can go with in a safe environment.
But they have to be genetically, like, altered for you, so you have to have a training one.
Is this, like, a quick thing that's, like, you can grow real quickly, like a fucking cat or something? Yeah, maybe it's got very few details, kind of looks to have a training one. Is this like a quick thing that's like you can grow real quickly, like a fucking cattle something?
Yeah, maybe it's got very few details, kind of looks
like the Michelin man. Yeah, like a
smooth thing. They're like, right, go
in your avatar, smug, or whatever.
Maybe it's like a robot where they
can just like eject and put in new
DNA so it can match with whoever.
Oh yeah, and you log your hours
in there. Maybe it's one of those faces,
you know there's, I have no idea what these are called.
I'm starting very far back.
One of those faces.
You know, so listeners, if you need a description of what I need,
this is something you can just quickly Google.
What you need?
That unfortunately no one in this room can do.
If you look up the Only, so 90 Shadows have a music video called Only.
The thing I'm trying to describe is that.
It's like those square things that's made pretty much looks like kind of like nails,
but they're not nails.
And when you press a thing on it.
Oh, okay.
I know the things you mean.
Those novelty like shop things that you press your hand in.
He makes an impression of your face.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay.
Like what Babyface in Matrix was made out of. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. What baby face in Matrix was made out of.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yes!
That's also what I was trying to think of.
So you log your hours in that.
Yeah.
So basically, like in The Matrix.
We have a novelty.
Yeah.
You plug into that, and then that just becomes your face,
because it can match anything.
So it's a simulation.
You plug into this.
So they basically...
Okay, so on Earth, we have The Matrix's a simulation. You plug into this. So they basically, okay, so on Earth we have the Matrix.
Yeah.
We have control of this.
We practice in the Matrix before we go to Pandora.
Then you'll have an actual, like, knob.
Yeah.
It's interesting as well on that.
Is the world printing in Avatar actually bad?
Or is it really good?
Yeah, because so little is explained.
And it's just like, because no one's like, what the fuck?
They're just like, yep.
They're like, yeah, it's an avatar.
What are you talking about?
But it's interesting because that means they needed to get Jake Sully there quick, right?
Why?
Well, they didn't give him a chance to log hours.
Well, we got two assumptions.
Either he was meant to go to like a training thing and didn't.
Well, he read the manual.
So he must have got like a packet that's like, here's everything you need to know. Well, he read the manual. So he must have got like a packet
that's like, here's everything you need to know.
Well, he's unconscious on the flight over.
No, I mean, as in like the flight from where they start
to like go to the spaceship.
Yeah, he does.
He gets no opportunity to read that book.
That's so funny.
Well, unless his
brother, oh wait, no.
We're so stupid.
His brother is cremated at the start of the movie,
meaning that his brother must have died just before the mission started.
Oh, I see.
And Jake Sully doesn't go by himself.
He's part of a troop transport.
Yeah, so you're right.
So it must be the kind of thing where we're sending so few people to Pandora
that you've just got to get on the ship and go.
Like, you kind of just don't have a chance.
So, yeah, like...
In many ways, it's impressive he read the manual.
Yeah, his brother's probably been dead for about five days,
I reckon, before he's on that ship.
Yeah, you're probably right.
He could have sought out other shit,
like, why'd they kill my brother?
Yeah.
For money.
Yeah, he was just...
It was a random mugging.
It was a random mugging,
like at the end of Stand By Me. One of the Stand By Me kids gets killed in a McDonald's. Yeah. Yeah. He was just a random mugging. It was a random mugging. Like at the end of Stand By Me.
One of the Stand By Me kids gets killed in a McDonald's.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That just happens.
And then he fades away in the thing.
Yeah.
That is sad.
He had a big day and then he went off and died.
I would describe Stand By Me as a big day.
Huge.
Someone die in...
No, they don't.
I was going to say in Animal House's credits.
I think in the Sandlot, someone dies.
In Animal House, I think
everyone goes to jail.
Doesn't John Belushi become the president?
Yeah, I'd vote for him.
Me too.
When he does that pimple thing?
That's good stuff.
They crashed the parade into the wall.
That's awesome.
I'm just trying to find out where that There's two movies for me on this world
Yeah
One Avatar
Two Animal House
Look forward to Plumbatool House sometime in your future I'm sure
Guys this movie's actually aged pretty badly
We shouldn't have done this
Where's my impression of a pimple is it good
Okay so I'm looking at like Norm Spellman of darkness. But how's my impression of a pimple? Is it good?
Is it good?
Okay, so I'm looking at like Norm Spellman.
Okay.
It was Tommy's good friend
in the Avatar program
on Earth.
Okay.
And I'm just like,
because like,
Norm's the other guy, right?
Yeah, there's a nerd.
The one that's really excited
that gets Avatar cocked.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So he claimed
to have studied
the Navi language
for five years
and he's logged
520 odd hours of simulation time
in preparation for Lincoln's Avatar.
So I think we have a matrix on Earth.
That's crazy.
Go in the Avatar simulator.
Well, I guess it could also just be like VR.
Yeah, like a VR MMO.
You just plug in.
What would happen to the human brain if we logged 500 hours in VR now?
I think we'd get sick.
Yeah, like-
Headaches.
What's the most VR game you've ever played?
What do you-
Could you mean over a period of how long?
See, that's better.
That's a better answer.
Because if you're logging 520 hours in a month-
Yeah, but what do you mean most vr game like the most virtual reality
game you've played it's a binary thing it either is virtual reality or isn't no in the same way
that games can be good or bad games can be maximum vr or not that vr wait what i don't know what you
mean okay i feel like i'm going insane an example example I would mean, so Breath of the Wild, the Nintendo Switch game, has a VR mode that is barely VR.
Oh, okay.
What game is, okay.
I guess I'll change the wording.
What's the most immersive VR experience you've ever had?
Skyrim VR, I think.
Yeah.
If you logged 500 hours of that.
I would think I was in Skyrim.
I would think I was a digital man.
But how long?
Because again, it's just like, so it's 21 odd days.
Yeah.
That's like the length, like straight.
Yeah.
So like, yeah, how many, like if you're doing, say, 40 days of that, that is literally waking
up in your VR and going to sleep.
Waking up in a virtual world
i think that's fucking terrible i think so that's going to sleep and waking up in vr is the end of
what your id goes or are you spending that many like 520 hours over the space of say
well yeah 520 hours over a year would do irreversible damage to my brain i think
i don't think you're coming out of it well.
Yeah, because that's 10 hours a week.
Yeah.
I'm checking it.
Oof.
I think it's more costly to make the avatars so big.
Like, as in, it's more material on Earth.
If you've got avatars to test in,
should they be smaller?
Do you know what I mean?
No, I know what you mean,
but I don't think...
Now I know what you mean.
I was going to be like,
they grow them.
But they're not...
Yeah, we're not in Earth.
It's a simulation.
Yeah, it's a simulation.
That's true.
In Earth, it's a simulation.
Yeah.
Which is just crazy to imagine this is almost untested.
Yeah.
Surely on Earth, though, you're right.
There needs to be like little...
Little avatars.
Or just like a creation of you.
Yeah.
But like the Michelin Man.
Yeah.
Like a little weird globular slug
man that you go into.
Oh, fuck. No, they have to give it
functionality.
If you're like, here is just like a blob.
Oh, no. And you go into it.
It's got your DNA. You go into it.
You've got sentience, but no ability
to do it. You can't scream.
You can't move. Okay, well, it's going to fuck people up.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hey, we've made like a locked-in syndrome simulator.
Enjoy.
Surely you've got to give it rudimentary.
Well, to be a proper simulation, it needs full-on, well, yeah,
the process of making the Avatar program would have been boring.
The very start of this would have been just like the thing you can see out of.
Initially, probably even not that.
No, yeah.
Initially, it would have been trying to transfer your consciousness into a lump of slime.
Into a lump of, yeah.
And then we're trying to work.
I'm guessing you're doing it through like quantum tunneling.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Because there's no connection there.
And then you got to add.
Because the initial ones would have been with leads.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Like an ethernet plugged into the goo.
Oh, no.
Yeah.
And then like seeing how far you can stretch it, trying wirelessly.
And then does this mean every avatar has a wireless function?
Like an emitter?
Fabulous question.
How do you go into an avatar?
If Jake suddenly gets too far away from his sleeping body, does his avatar collapse?
Is there lag?
Oh, no.
There can't be lag.
Imagine real life lag where you're like, I need to pick up those cards.
Pick up the cards.
Oh, that's bad.
Yeah.
So is it the thing that this avatar is such an intense
piece of technology
it's cost so much money
to make the avatar
because it's not just
we can't not use it
it's not just using
like it's
it's all the
like the money
that went into creating
what about this
what about
this is important
yeah
yes
let's figure
you're making avatars
yeah
you gotta figure out eyes
mouth lips
dick butthole
all of that
But then for an avatar
For a Na'vi
You gotta figure out how to genetically
Make the hair thing work
Yeah
No
Cause it's not technology
It's grown
But you still have to figure it out
Because you are fucking around with
the the dna well okay you are using a technological process to emulate a biological process yeah yeah
i would say you're not going like jake sully spur we harvested this like navi egg yeah it's not
it's whoa that's a far more disturbing reality that the avatars are grown. That would be probably easier, though, right?
Like, if you had to make avatars, you could either figure out their-
Yeah, but then that means we're compatible.
That's awesome.
Well, yeah, we might have to be.
Or not even-
For the avatar system to work.
I mean-
Because, I mean, you have to be compatible because it is a splicing-
We can't be compatible.
We're aliens.
No, no, no, no, no.
But-
Wait, they could do this with anything. But because if you splice-
Wait, they could do this with anything.
If you're splicing DNA, like, we can't be-
You can't go make a half dog video in a lab.
No, they could.
They could.
Yeah.
RDA could.
In this reality, you could make dog horses and crab monkeys.
And you could get a goddamn horse to plug in,
and it can be a lovely crab horse i think it's far more realistic
that the rda full-on bred the avatars rather than created them whole cloth using like
yeah like because they they will know because once again we are so
like divergent they're like they're not even divergent they're weird it's an alien species
yeah yeah there is no genetically crossover here they had no no i don't mean they're making a human are so divergent. They're not even divergent. It's an alien species.
There is no genetically crossover here.
I don't mean they're making a human avatar.
I mean they've just bred whatever the avatar
slug that we go in is.
How do you breed
that if you can't get, say, human DNA
and, say,
Na'vi DNA to actually
code meagles?
And you breed them until they're at a point and say, Navi DNA to actually like... Well, you probably get Navis. Yeah.
And you breed them
until they're at a point...
No, okay.
All right.
All right.
I'm going to get,
let's say, a squid.
Yeah, okay.
How can I breed a squid
to a point
where we are compatible?
But you don't necessarily need...
You got to keep breeding
a human squid
until you get a human pussy, dude.
I don't know what to tell you.
That's just it.
No beak, full puss.
No, but you don't need it to be compatible with a human
because all you do is psychically link with it.
Yeah, but I need my DNA.
You can psychically link with a dog if you want it.
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
But yes, so it's like, but...
If you put a little bit of that human DNA,
and I assume that the human DNA is just like a...
It's like a magnet, effectively.
Or it's like the shape of the keyhole.
Yeah, yeah, exactly, exactly.
That's how I kind of assumed it worked.
But, the
Avatar takes on traits of human.
Yeah, it does too.
But then, that means they had to fully
create the Avatar hair penis.
Yes. That's crazy.
That thing is like so hyper.
They had to, without knowing
that you could honk into a tree,
they had to make a thing capable could honk into a tree yeah they had to make a thing
capable of honking into a tree well the only logic i can think of there is that again because it
involves dna at such a base level that really what they've done is just not fuck with the functions
of yeah navi and they've just added the human elements elements yeah, yeah, yeah. So in theory, RDA could do this with anything.
What?
Yes.
You could get a dog and put a little bit of Jake Sully DNA.
A dog looks like a dog, but a little bit like Jake Sully,
and he could control it.
But is the movie saying that Na'vi and humans do have compatible DNA?
No, I don't think so.
But how could they even possibly?
I think that, here's my theory.
This is my big Na'vi avatar conspiracy.
Apes and humans share similar DNA.
Yes, I think they're born.
Okay.
I think those are guys.
I think those avatars are guys that RDA mutated.
Okay, so how do you counter the point
that in the movie they say we grew these?
Because they're lying to Jake Sully and everyone.
Explore this.
You're RDA, right? You cannot
conceivably create that hair
penis. That is so advanced
that it's beyond you, right?
So what's easier? But you need to get
avatars. You need to get boots on the ground.
You kidnap avatars.
You grow avatars. You need to get boots on the ground. Yeah. You kidnap avatars. Yeah.
You grow avatars.
You inject them with human DNA just a little bit so that you mutate them so that you can put a person in them.
You fucking Jordan Peele's... Get out.
Get out them.
Send the avatar to the dark place or whatever.
Well, no, you would simply just breed them so that they have
no consciousness.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That just makes so much,
that seems so much,
it's horrible.
Yeah.
I'm having a panic attack.
Well, no,
because they would
just be grown
because for what
they're using the avatar
for when they send
them to Na'vi,
they don't need
the working hair.
That just seems like
they didn't know
that that happened
because... Oh, no one else does. Yeah, That just seems like they didn't know that that happened. Because, um.
Oh, no one else does.
Yeah.
No one else tries to use it at any point.
So, so it's an unintended consequence.
An unintended consequence is that they matched the Navi thing.
Yeah.
Because they're using, like, again, they're using the genetics.
It's the same way that, like, if you, it's like being like, wow, it's crazy we programmed this Navi to be able to talk.
Yeah. It's like being like, wow, it's crazy we programmed this Navi to be able to talk.
Yeah, but talking versus hooking into a full-on fucking genetic bioelectrical system.
Maybe it's just like an extension of the brain.
Yeah, but...
Or part of the nervous system?
Yeah.
I guess.
That is just inherent in the DNA.
How did they get the Navi DNA in the first place?
We don't ask these questions.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. What do first place? We don't ask these questions.
What do you mean? We don't ask these questions.
Well, I'm assuming that when they first got there
they would have probably either, well, first off
probably gotten wholesale slaughtered.
At some point they would have had to
have either taken down a Navi
or captured one because they would
have had to ship it back to Earth
or at least some of the samples back to Earth.
Map the genesis, the Navi genome or whatever.
Six years.
Yeah, six years.
And so we've been going to Pandora for a while.
Yeah.
Because Jake is like, we've heard about this when growing up.
Yeah.
So we've known about Pandora for a long time.
Very long time, yeah.
So at some point in the past,
like, there must have been a capturing.
An experimenting.
Or experimenting, or whatever it might be,
either through an actual living Na'vi back to Earth.
Yeah.
Or parts of Na'vi, or samples of the Na'vi back to Earth.
I guess if in the beginning...
There are some atrocities that RDA...
Well, we already saw one. Well, we know there are more atrocities that RDA well we already saw
more atrocities that have happened
I think it goes way deeper
that's so scary
well there's also a chance that there was people there before RDA
oh yeah that's true
well yeah there probably was
RDA won unobtainium
but there's nothing saying that there wasn't people there
before looking for different shit
whoever is kind of exploring deep space.
Could have been looking for hammerhead dogs.
Yeah.
That was the main export back to Earth.
Well, I'm assuming that, like, at this point in Earth's history,
you've got a lot of people who have, like, probably privatized spaceships.
Yeah, yeah.
Who can just go out and start exploring.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So, yeah, you would have been like, yeah, whoever found Pandora was like,
oh, yeah, this.
And we made first contact with the Na'vi.
And maybe things didn't go that bad.
And maybe we just got, I don't know, something.
We kidnapped a couple of Na'vi, brought them back to Earth.
Well, I mean, you can get genetic material without killing a Na'vi.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Swab.
Swab.
That's true.
Swab their noses.
Jerk them off.
Take some blood. Jerk them off. Jerk them off. Milk them. Milk them. Milk the Na'vi. Yeah, milk the yeah. A swab. Swab. That's true. Swab their noses. Yeah. Jerk them off. Take some blood.
Jerk them off.
Jerk them off.
Milk them.
Milk them.
Milk the coffee.
Yeah, milk the coffee.
Be like, hey, we got this.
Just simply with consent ask for blood.
Yeah.
With consent ask for a blowjob.
Yeah.
Hey, you're going to have to take a sample of this saliva off my penis.
You're the worst scientist we've ever
seen. But I'm also the happiest scientist
you've ever seen. They're so big though!
I'm the sleepiest scientist you've ever seen.
They're so big! They'd have to do a weird squat
to get it. You'd have to climb. Fair enough.
And it would be awesome.
Yeah!
They would engulf you probably from the feet up.
Yeah, a full on suck job.
Yeah, a true suck job.
I don't know if they could...
Suck your pants right off.
I don't know if they could...
If they were growing, or they were born,
let's say they were born, so what are you imagining?
So they are going, they are breeding,
how do you envision
that to happen? I'm imagining there's some
kind of mutation happening.
They are injecting them with human DNA,
taken from the people who will eventually ride their corpse or their body.
So who's birthing them?
The Na'vi.
But Na'vi can't, well, live on Earth.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm assuming there's some kind of facility inside,
like a reverse of what's happening in the spaceship for humans,
where it's our air on the Na'vi planet.
It's Na'vi air in this place where they're
breeding the Na'vi.
Or they're clones
of the Na'vi, but they're not...
Well, I think clones is probably the thing that makes the most
sense. I think clones makes more sense.
I don't think that these are, like, created
in a lab, like, as in...
I think these are living things,
if you know what I mean
the avatar
yeah yeah
I
to be able to
do that
seems harder
than it is
weirdly for me
there is clues
they're living in the movie
though
oh yeah
like at the start
when they're in the tube
yeah and they're kind of
twiddling
they're moving
there's a
there's a life in them
yeah yeah yeah
that then Jake Sully
goes in and replaces
yeah
so he can pilot his
That could just be synapses firing.
It could just be synapses firing.
It doesn't have to be consciousness.
Maybe Jake Sully didn't erase the existence.
He didn't erase this avatar.
They're alive, in the sense that they have life.
But they don't have a consciousness.
Yeah, because even without a consciousness
they're still breathing.
Yeah, that's true.
And it's just like when he gets sucked off back into the human realm.
Man world.
Yeah, man world.
His avatar just whoop, like a sack of potatoes, just drops.
When he goes back to avatar land.
It's not like when he gets sucked off into, say, man realm.
It's like the avatar's like, don't tell me.
Help me.
We've got to make sure he doesn't come back. Oh, god damn. Yeah. It's like the avatar's like, don't die, help me, help me, we gotta make sure
he doesn't come back.
We gotta kill Jax.
Oh, god damn.
Yeah, that's true.
That's true.
Maybe.
And then so like,
you know,
when you die as an avatar,
you don't die in real,
you back into man realm.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But I guess if you died
in, say, man realm,
well, your avatar would die.
You know what's awesome?
Yeah.
When you're an avatar,
you're asleep,
and when you're sleeping
as an avatar,
you're a man,
so Jax only doesn't actually actively sleep anymore. That's awesome. When you're an Avatar, you're asleep. And when you're sleeping as an Avatar, you're a man. So Jake Sully doesn't actually actively sleep anymore.
That's true.
He never gets a break.
Yeah, when he's asleep in man world, he's playing in Avatar land.
And when he's asleep in Avatar land, he's back in man world.
Well, his brain...
Because is his brain getting enough rest?
He's not getting rest.
No, no.
When he's an Avatar.
Well, his consciousness has been
now plucked from
his man into avatar.
And now the man has brain empty.
Both bodies are resting.
The brain never rests.
Yes. The brain
is constantly going. No.
But the consciousness is
constantly going. But Jake
Sully brain rests. But Jake Sully's thinking with the Avatar's brain, is he not?
No, he's thinking with his brain.
Then there has to be lag.
Because if you die in the Avatar, you don't die in real life.
Yeah, because you get sucked back off.
Yeah, but if that's a brain, if you're surely...
And it feels like it.
No, because what's happening is it's not his brain, it's his consciousness.
Yeah, it's his consciousness.
His consciousness is...
Yeah, but it's his consciousness, which means that he's like...
Yeah.
So his meat brain...
Yeah.
Is still operating.
Is still operating, but asleep.
Yeah.
Because it's not functioning.
All of the functioning is being done by his avatar brain.
Yes.
So I'm guessing his meat brain while he's avataring is similar to when he was in Cryo.
Yeah.
No dreams.
No dreams.
Only avatar. avataring is similar to when he was in cryo yeah no dreams no dreams only and i think they have to do that because if it wasn't then the dreams would probably be affecting how he controls the avatar
right yeah i'm guessing it's similar technology of cryo freezing everybody in avatar yeah yeah
well we can put the human brain to sleep to sleep and like we mean and we mean to sleep we mean like
like almost functionally dead does that mean if you killed both the Avatar and Jake Sully at the same time,
his consciousness would be loose?
Yes.
I would argue.
Capable of going into any dog or rat or lizard that's in the body.
I think you'd just kill him.
Yeah, I think you might just die.
Yeah.
Or it feels like maybe the consciousness is in avatar and like say for example if you're using
uh maybe computer kind of terms it's the power source is jake yes yeah if you kill jake sully
at any point in human form yeah yeah it's not you're right it's he's actually kind of connected
yeah which is why i was like his meat brain needs to keep yeah then they go to the tree to unconnect.
And does his... And actually, if it is the case that his meat brain's doing the thinking for his avatar,
then would it not be easier to make an avatar with no brain?
Or like a smooth, empty brain.
Yeah, like just an empty cavity, because it's actually not using that to think.
But it would know, because it would need that for its motor functions.
Okay, but it's a severely reduced brain.
Well, it still needs to breathe
when you're not...
It needs to stay alive when you're not in it.
So it needs to have all the functions
of breathing, pumping its heart.
It needs to be doing the same thing Jake Sully is doing.
But I guess those would probably be the...
If you were creating a brain whole cloth,
those would probably be the easier functions
to design rather than how to write or whatever to write it needs to be able to store but they've already done that ability
yes they have for it right i mean avatar like jake sully's avatar isn't just sitting in the
tank riding when jake sully's not in it it's just breathing yeah yeah yeah yeah we have to have the
capacity to it to write, though. Why?
Because when your conscious enters it,
you're then controlling the avatar brain. But I thought you were using your brain.
Jackson, you understand.
No, wait.
No, I get it.
Because you're using your brain, right?
You're not using your brain.
You can't be using your brain.
You're using the avatar's brain.
Therefore, that brain is asleep.
Yes.
But your conscious is, yes.
It is.
So you are getting sleep.
But your meat brain's asleep.
You're using the avatar brain.
Yeah, but you're...
So, hang on.
No, no, no, hang on.
Because like, there's that...
How we think and how we are
as human beings and how we develop
and all that kind of... We are very much
affected by the brain we
have. Yes.
So, when you have a brain of an alien,
it affects you as well.
Yeah.
That's why he was able to get horny for an alien.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And surely every time he connected.
So when he goes in,
like,
you know,
goes into,
and then starts learning from them as a culture thing,
he's also like his whole brain is the way he thinks,
the way he processes his change.
Also, when does he first?
So then the Jake Sully in the Avatar is very different than the Jake Sully man.
Right?
Like on a fundamental level.
Yeah, if he's thinking with Avatar brain, not meat brain,
then he's creating new synapses in the avatar brain,
but not in his meat brain.
Yeah, because he can do a lot of stuff in the avatar,
like the ability to move and the ability to fire.
He learns a bunch of stuff.
There's a whole montage about it.
Because he can't do that in his...
Jake Sully couldn't fuck a bird.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Avatar Jake Sully is great at it.
Jake Sully, even if he can't...
Well, hang on.
Can Jake Sully as a man fire a bow and arrow?
Yeah, presumably.
As well as he can as an avatar?
I would say so. Why?
Because he's in the military? He's probably used it before?
Better question!
Can Jake Sully...
Okay, fuck, I know what you mean, though. Can Jake Sully ride a marine? Better question. Okay, okay, okay. Can Jake Sully... Okay, fuck.
I know what you mean, though.
Yeah, right?
Can Jake Sully ride a bird?
I know his legs don't work and he can't honk in.
But theoretically...
Okay, so...
Say it was, say, Dr. Spellman, right?
Yeah, yeah.
Who was doing everything like that.
Who has, like, 100% functionality of his legs as well in real life.
So, therefore, he could kind of, like like do the same amount of like acrobatics
and physical capabilities he can as an avatar.
Could he ride a bird of similar size or fire a bow while he was doing it?
Because all of that has been learned in your avatar brain.
Yeah.
And those connections and the muscle memory and all that kind of stuff
has been your avatar stuff.
But he remembers stuff.
But he remembers it, sure,
but...
Is it like if you dreamed
about learning how to
fire a bow and arrow?
You would know.
So using the Matrix, right?
He's like,
I want to learn how to
fly a helicopter
and he gets like...
Gets it downloaded.
Yeah.
So it's like similar
to sort of that, right?
So it's like,
okay, cool.
Now I understand
and now I do that.
But he's just been doing it through his avatar by training yeah and so then when he's now as a man
can he do the stuff he did while he was well i mean like everything yeah like i mean i can
yeah go on i could be like i'm capable of knowing how how to do a backflip yeah yeah stands
yeah like as in like i get the processes i could do it underwater or maybe even on a trampoline
but if i was to stand up right now and drive it would be a wonderful thing to see
but because like my physical capabilities are different yeah like i know i could know how to
do a thing and not actually physically be able to do it which is presumably like that must be how it's not just like he knows how to
ride a bird yeah yeah it just but because there's doing that kind of stuff that will affect how your
brain works yeah because the whole thing about you know when if you learn music or you play yeah
that actually like yeah changes how your brain works presumably the electrons firing in both
brains and the neuropathways being made are mirroring each other the entire time.
Yeah.
Because when-
Then no one's sleeping.
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
I don't think anyone's sleeping.
Or if he's not sleeping-
Is his man brain getting bigger?
What?
Because more things getting-
He's doing stuff that man was never meant to do.
Okay.
Is it bad for a human brain to learn about honking?
Is that what you're asking?
Yeah.
And what does it mean when the avatar body honks into the planet, right?
Yeah.
And gets downloaded into it like every consciousness of every avatar,
by which I mean Na'vi, that ever existed.
Does that go
honk into the avatar brain, then honk
into Jake Sully's brain? And does
he shit and piss in that moment?
No!
And when Jake Sully as an avatar
making sweet love to Nateri,
does he also come... Does he do a little
cum in the tube? A little jizz in the tube?
No, I think it's a transfer
of consciousness, so no. Yeah, okay.
He just remembers it.
He just remembers what it was like to have a
powerful Navi organism.
But then it doesn't happen.
So then all the synapses, the stuff of like,
all the synapses firing, all those
connections, all the stuff that's happening in the Navi brain
isn't happening in his
man brain. No, it could be.
But his consciousness is being... Yeah, it could be happening in his man brain, he's, it could be. But then, but his consciousness is being.
Yeah, it could be happening in his man brain.
He's just not pissing, cumming and shit.
Why not?
What do you mean why not?
Because that's his body.
That's a doing a thing.
Yeah.
I mean, there's an actual.
It's not like his penises are connected.
But imagine how awesome that would be.
But he's connected through.
It is very much like a mind thing, right?
Yeah, but that's like being like, yeah.
In an orgasm.
You can dream of pissing and not piss.
Jake Sully's eyes are closed.
Yeah, but that's well.
In human battle, eyes are open.
And he's not running when the avatar's running.
I understand that.
His brain's not doing the same thing.
But it's a chemical reaction in your body.
Yeah.
Yeah, but it's still, you can dream about taking a shit and not take a shit.
Yeah. Yeah. It seems to be Cummings taking a shit and not take a shit. Yeah.
It seems to be Cummings the one that's really upsetting Xav.
Yeah, because he's basically having a wet dream.
I don't think you can stimulate the brain and make your person cum.
I think you can.
That is a wet dream.
Yeah, but I mean, like, manually?
I think you can.
Can you get one of those brain zappers, you know, the people who do brain zappers?
And hit a part of the brain and make someone jizz? I don't think that's possible. I reckon you can. Can you get one of those brain zappers, you know, the people who do brain zappers? Oh, you hit a part of the brain. And hit a part of the brain and make someone jizz?
I don't think that's possible.
I reckon it is.
I think I'm with Jackson here.
I don't think you can do that.
This has been a medical, a very biological episode of Plumbing the Death Zone.
It's also good because all the stuff we've been caught up in, not the question.
No, no, no, not at all.
There have been cases where, and we're talking from a male perspective here,
but there have been people who can come without touching or have any kind of physical stimulus on their penis.
Yeah.
Or anything like that, but it's by the pure act of thinking.
But you've got to teach yourself that.
I guess.
That's something you've got to learn.
But it feels like maybe this would be pretty easy for Jake Sully.
Well, yeah, no, because it's like the tantric sex thing.
A tantric sex with people that have an injury or something that means that they have no use of anything
below their waist. People can kind of
relearn to cum with their finger and stuff.
Obviously they're not.
So he might orgasm,
but he might not cum.
Yeah.
But he also might not orgasm.
Look,
that was me thinking about having an orgasm, didn't cum.
Yeah.
But you weren't experiencing having an orgasm as you in another body.
Yeah, that's true.
But if the consciousness is transferring and assumed that Jake Sully's body is operating exactly the same as how we see the avatar operating at the start, where it's just running basic functions.
Yeah.
Probably the same thing.
Like, I'm coming as an avatar, not coming in my shell.
If you jerked off the shell avatar slug,
it would come.
Where am I going with this?
Okay, if you jerked off...
The avatar of dog dicks?
Who knows?
That's fucked up.
Okay, okay.
When he's in avatar realm,
and his dick and nuts
start getting stimulated
to like
as in
well he's in the pod
yeah
and he comes in the pod
what happens to
Avatar
world
no
because the brain
isn't
that's like the opposite
of what we've been
yeah so I'm asking
what happens
nothing
well no yeah
cause
recall later in the film
it's not quite the same
but he's in his avatar and
the the tube he's in is getting knocked the fuck around and he can't breathe and so it goes back
and forth yeah yeah conscious so because even his body can't breathe but his avatar body can
yeah you can have one function in one body that isn't appearing in the other
let's talk about the fact that lrda gave the avatar slugs functional sperm
because they full-on did.
Did they, though?
Yeah, because, well, I mean,
I guess a little bit of this is speculation,
but in the upcoming Avatar movies,
they talk about the Sully dynasty.
Yeah, but did the Sully dynasty start when,
did the tree actually do that?
These are great questions for maybe a different episode.
So did RDA.
This is a good
going real far back
right now. Why was Jake Sully
a good call? Why was Jake Sully a good call?
They put a lot of effort, clearly,
into making the avatars.
They clearly didn't
really think about the implications
of putting a jarhead
into this. I think the implications are just like,
hey, look, this is all set up, good to go.
It's a different type of guy.
Let's just see what happens.
And if he dies, who cares?
We could get cool information.
He could be helpful.
If he's not, it was a waste anyway.
I feel like, yeah, it's a kind of coin flip decision
in a boardroom.
They're like, oh, we lost Tommy Sully.
And they're like, he does have a twin.
And they're like, well, might as well.
Yeah.
Might as well.
Let's make lemonade a lemonade.
Yeah.
Put him in.
Put him in.
We'll just see what happens.
You know, we've got the body.
I don't think they were really thinking.
Yeah.
I think they were just, you're right.
I think it's just more about like, well, right now we have spent, let's just say, call it a billy.
Yeah.
We've spent a billy training this one guy.
And if we do nothing with this right now,
we lose a Billy.
However,
we send this other fucker up there.
And what does he want?
Not much money.
Like we,
we talking like what?
Like a hundred grand or something.
Yeah.
Something like who gives a shit?
He doesn't,
he doesn't even want legs.
Yeah.
Yeah.
A good way to think about it is imagine there's like a space mission. Yeah.
And one of the astronauts dies.
Yeah.
And they're like, well, we haven't before the mission commences. dies. And they're like, well, we have
before the mission commences.
And they're like, okay, obviously we're not going to have
that astronaut, but we've got
somebody that can fit his space suit
who will know what to do when they're in space.
They're not just like a pleb.
They're physically capable
of it. We might as well send
them along. Our mission was planned for eight
space people anyway.
And we can only do the mission with eight space people even that but it's just like we've got we've
got the space for them we've got like a whole ship going up there it's leaving next week yeah it's
gonna like go empty we have the space sure it probably because it's like some cost of putting
a person there versus leaving it empty and it's's just kind of like, well, who cares? It's better to have an extra person in space.
There's no like,
the line of communication between you to Pandora is like,
what,
12 years?
Yeah,
that's true.
You're just like,
it's just,
it's just pencil pushing,
right?
By the time this gets back to me,
I might be,
I imagine when it gets back to you,
you're like, then what happened on that?
That guy I made that split second decision about.
I wanted to have lunch early.
He did what?
Yeah.
Oh, fuck.
I'm taking the day off.
Imagine like, yeah, a decision that you did 12 years ago.
Comes back to like, you know, and it's a decision that you did 12 years ago comes back to bite you.
It's a decision that you're not really trained for.
It's a decision that's really not part of your job.
It is just a decision of like, hey, Jackson, I was going to make some apple juice out of these apples,
but then I dropped the apples, but I got a bag of oranges.
Well, orange juice is good.
Okay.
12 years later.
Hey, Jackson, those oranges rose up.
Oh, it'd be like, hey, Jackson,
in the first ever episode of Plumbing the Death Star,
how would you overthrow a city?
Oh, yeah, I'd do it this way.
Yeah, great episode.
Hey, Jackson, 12 years later, they did it.
Oh, no. Yeah, I was listening to some fuck would have this answer, and I thought, what a great episode. Hey, Jackson, 12 years later, they did it. Oh, no!
Yeah, I was listening to some fuckwood
have this answer
and I thought,
what a great idea.
I wasn't even thinking.
But yeah,
I think it must be
that they weren't
really thinking.
It was just more of a,
well,
the whole idea
of sending good money
after bad died.
But this is like,
well, we're sending
not that much money
after good money.
Yeah, exactly.
So it's just like,
you're literally... The ship was already going.
Yeah.
He didn't get trained, so they didn't spend any money on that.
Yeah, yeah.
We're not doubling up on training.
We've got to print a second map.
We can give him Tom's manual.
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah.
It's a literally like might as well scenario.
Like, oh, we might as well.
What could go wrong?
What could go wrong? What if he falls in love with a Na'vi
and then overspows
the entire situation
and fucks a horse?
What?
You heard me.
What's happening on Pandora?
Oh, they fuck horses.
Do they know that?
Oh, and a tree. No, they don't.
No.
Which makes the creation of the hair penis even crazier.
Yeah, well, that's why I think it's just like a roll of the dice of DNA.
Yeah, I get a lot of what happened to Jake.
Yeah.
It's a roll of the dice. Yeah, it's unreal.
On that note, I've been Joel.
I've been Jackson.
And I've been Joel.
And this has been the first episode of Plum-a-tar
we see you
we see you
we see you
join us next week
when we plum
avatar further
and
based on this
probably lose our minds
thank you James Cameron
and goodnight Thank you.