Plumbing the Death Star - When Did Rhodey Become a Skrull (Spoilers for Secret Invasion: a Show You Don't Want to See) also Why the Hell Aren't the Studio Lights On (It's Dark in Here)?

Episode Date: August 20, 2023

It’s the biggest event of the MCU that no one’s talking about! Because no one really cares! When did James “Rhodey" Rhodes aka War Machine get taken over by a Skrull? The boys try to figure out the perfect time to nab the real Rhodes, try to figure out just when the invasion they kept oh so secret kicked off and try to figure out how Skrull work? It’s confusing and badly presented in the TV show. From missed opportunities to clowns as a metaphor, we ensure that no stone (or gem (which Rhodes could have just grabbed (if he was a skrull at the time) as he was right there)) is left unturned trying to figure out when this feasibly could have happened. The answer won’t surprise you. Or it might, as you didn’t watch this garbage.Buy our terrible merch here and check out the Bad Brain Boys+ on our website or Apple Podcasts at apple.co/badbrainboys. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Ahem, ahem. You're listening to the Sands Pants Network. Whilst having a dad, his house was struck by lightning and now he has three dads. My three dads, it's biological. My three dads, it's not very logical. We live in a house and I got three dads. They're my three dads. My three dads is filmed in front of a live studio audience See we could

Dads! We could be writing sitcoms Yeah Hey, if you could pitch a sitcom, what would it be? My Three Dads, perfect episode Hey everyone and welcome to this week's episode of Plumbing the Death Star I'm Joel I'm Jackson

And I'm also Joel And this is's episode of Plumbing the Death Star. I'm Joel. I'm Jackson. I'm also Joel. And this is a podcast where we ask the important questions like why the hell aren't the studio lights on? It's dark in here! But then also the important questions like When did Rhodey become a Skrull? Spoilers for Secret Invasion, a show you don't want to see. I'm going to turn on the light. Okay. This is theater of the mind to the max. Theater of the body because I did it in real. Yeah.

Do I know what the... Anyway. Move on. Move on. Move on. Done. So in Marvel, by which I mean the MCU. Correct.

By which I mean the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Yes. There's a television program known as Secret Invasion. Hey, sidebar. Do you think it's fucked up that it's still called the Marvel Cinematic Universe, but some of it takes place on the television, which is famously not? Should it be the MCTU now? Yeah.

The Marvel Televisual Universe? Come on. Come on, Zalman. The MCMPU. The Marvel Cinematic Marvel Television. MUMPU. Mumpu. Yeah, Mumpu.

I love the Mumpu Phase 5 film. Marvel Universe Moving Pictures Universe. Get down. So close. The silver screen's the big screen. What do we call the small screen? Bronze screen.

And the gold screen has yet to be invented. Or is IMAX? Maybe that's the gold screen. Or the platinum. What's between gold and silver? What do you mean? Like if silver is two. What's between gold and silver? What do you mean? Like if silver is two Gold's one With 1.5

Yeah, but in metals I guess silver with a little bit of gold Oh yeah, true Like an alloy The Olympics haven't answered this question for us yet Nobody's done so good that they're better than silver, but not so good that they're getting a couple.

Well, it's because famously, I would say that the Olympics are a competition. Yes. And you can't finish first 0.5. They finish first, but not great. Like they did a little fart or like their wiener fell out or something. And they were still first.

I guess you can finish first in whatever state you want, really. Yeah. Interesting. Yeah. Isn't someone dive head first in whatever state you want, really. Yeah. Interesting. Yeah. Isn't someone dive head first in like a race and they cross the finish line just before the other person did? That is awesome.

And they technically still won because they did get across the line. Yeah. Just get across the line. Yeah. Yeah. You can't dive across the finish line. Yeah, exactly. No rules, baby.

Yeah, like a pole vaulter has hit himself in the dick and nuts with a pole vault before. Don't know if he won, but that's still something that happens. No, you lose because you touch the thing. You're not allowed to. Oh, the pole. Oh, his nuts touch the pole. No. The pole from the pole vault.

Yeah. Not the bar. Not the bar, the pole. Yeah, his nuts touch the pole. Yeah, but touching the pole doesn't disqualify you. That's how you jump. Yeah. You're holding it.

Wait, what are you saying? You swapped bar and pole in your head. I said the bar. You're holding it. Wait, what are you saying? You swapped bar and pole in your head. I said the bar. You said no. I was like, oh, so not the thing he jumped over. No. So I said his nuts touched the pole, which was what you said. Yes.

And then you were like, no. No. Why would he get disqualified for touching the pole? No, he's not. You said he was. He's disqualified. Who is not? Who's not?

That's what I want to know. He said he was. He's disqualified. Who is on first? That's what I want to know. A man can jump in a pole vault and hit himself in the nuts with the pole and clear the bar and not be disqualified. That's true. Just be embarrassed and maybe sore. Well, you probably wouldn't know if you smacked his nuts on the pole. You wouldn't be able to see. He would know. We would know because we'd see it.

Yeah. How do you think I know this Because we saw it He knackered himself It looked painful How are they on the pole When they do that What is wrong with you

What are you imagining How do they So you get a big stick And you're holding it Not in the middle I've remembered what they look like when they pole, and you're holding it, not in the middle. Oh, no. I've remembered what they look like when they pole vault.

Yeah, you were thinking they're holding it in the middle. I was thinking they kind of shimmy up like a monkey. I gave you not enough credit. No, I gave you more credit, I guess. So you thought, for a brief moment, I know you didn't put enough thought into it to fully establish this sport. Yeah. I imagine they ran with the pole and then they embedded it in the ground. Then they shimmied up it like a monkey.

And then jumped off the top. And then jumped over the top. So when you were like, his nuts hit the pole, in my head I was kind of like, don't they always? It's like you shimmy up a pole, nuts. Your nuts are going to be do-ga-do-ga-do-ga-do-ga-do-ga. He gets the pole. How do you shimmy up a pole, dude? Not two nuts on either side. Do-ga-do-ga-do-ga pole, dude. Not two nuts on either side.

Two nuts on either side? You have four nuts. You've been holding out on us. You know what I mean. Based on your description of pole vault, no, I don't think I do know what you mean. Absolutely not. You couldn't know less what I mean, I suppose. You have a fucked up concept of reality.

Yes. Yeah. That is true. Rhodes the Skrull. In Secret Invasion, it is established that Rhodes, i.e. War Machine... Were you trying to look for his real name? James Rhodes, if that's what you were struggling for. Yeah, Rhodey.

Rhodey Rhodes, I was going to say, but that's not right. But anyway, War Machine is revealed to be a Skrull. Sorry if that wrecked it for you. Sorry if that wrecked Secret Invasion. You're not going to watch it. You don't need to see it. Honestly, if you're angry at us that we wrecked Secret Invasion, that's more emotion than the entire show would have given you,

and this is a better way to find out. Absolutely, yeah. But in that show, the creators come out and said that. Well, Jackson, you've seen it, so why don't you talk us through the scene? Well, okay. Hey, I have seen it. I can't talk you through the scene. This is what I've gathered from your descriptions of when it is revealed that Rhodes is a Skrull.

The president is in hospital. Okay, wrong. You've started at the wrong point. He is. I've seen a clip of Rhodes. The president is in hospital, but that's unrelated to the reveal of Rhodey being a Skrull. I've seen a clip of Rhodey looking in a mirror and then he wipes the mirror

where his face is and then he's revealed to be a Skrull. Is that the reveal? Yeah, actually, that's the first time we're like, ah, that's confirmed Skrull. Well, second time's a charm, as they say. No, but he's not revealed. What? When's the second time? What are you saying? That was my

second guess. So the second time's a charm for me. I think it was saying that the first guess you had was the second time he was a Skrull and I was like, no. I might need to put myself in a time out for this episode. I don't know what's happened to me.

You had too much bread for lunch and somehow that's rotted your brain. Yeah, the cheesy white Skrull didn't go down and went up into my skull. You've got yeast mold on the brain. Yeah, the cheesy white scroll didn't go down and went up into my skull. You've got yeast mold on the brain. Yeah, I'm thinking with dough, baby. Yes, so what? The creator of Secret Evasion. Okay, so we're going to take a step

back to the end of the series, which I'll take. You're doing a great job. You're flying totally blind and I respect that. I don't know why you started describing Secret Evasion. You're the only one who hasn't respect that. I don't know why you started describing secret invasion. You're the only one who hasn't seen it. I know. Yes.

So Rhodes is revealed to be a Skrull. First, you hear it on the phone, him talking to Skrulls being like, do this bad thing. And you're like, what the fuck? And then you see him as a Skrull in the mirror scene you just described. But at the end of the series, when the president's in hospital, Skrull Rhodey gets a bullet straight through the brain and dies. But then at the end of the episode, the real Rhodey gets freed from this horrible mind palace that doesn't make any sense. Okay. He was in Chernobyl.

Oh, no. How's his bones? Yeah. They're fine for some reason. Okay, cool. his bones. They're fine for some reason. The scrolls kept all the people that were copying in

these tubes where they could read their thoughts. But it doesn't make sense because if they're in that tube, they're not having new thoughts. They're thinking I'm in a tube. I'm thinking I'm in a tube. I'm guessing you could be like, I'm scanning a surface area in memory to be like, I know their history. And maybe you could be like,

I don't know if you can do this with a scroll tech, to be like, if I input this scenario and they could ever think about how they might react. Maybe make their brain the matrix? Well, yeah, I guess that kind of makes sense. Like, if you can input... That's a cool thing that... Doesn't happen.

Doesn't happen in the show. That would be kind of cool, actually. You just see like an ID photo of them next to their body and then just like a scribbly jumble of stuff. They touch it and they go, whoa! Yeah, because they could do like an AI chat GPT thing that's plugged directly into like Rhodes' brain. Yeah.

Like, what happens if Tone Stark died? How would Rhodes react? How do I feel? Oh, yeah. Happy. When Rhodey gets freed at the end of the series, he's in a hospital gown and doesn't have leg braces on. Okay.

And he's struggling to walk. Okay. All right. People, and look, this is when the episode title comes into play. Yeah, finally. People are like, okay, it must have happened after Endgame, but before Falcon and Winter Soldier, because he makes a cameo in that. In Falcon and Winter Soldier, he has no braces on his legs, and he's walking fine.

Yeah. Endgame, he has braces on his legs. He bleeds red. He's at Tony's funeral, et cetera, and so forth. And the plot of Secret Invasion is tied to the battle at the end of Endgame. Yeah. The creators have said, we put him in a hospital gown as a hint that he was captured after Civil War,

which doesn't make sense. No. But. If that's not when, then when? Well, yeah. So if it was after Civil War, direct up Civil War, so it's like he got shot by Vision. Yeah.

He went to hospital. Went to hospital. Skrull went, yes. Yeah. Boink. Skrull hospital. Gotcha. He went to hospital. Went to hospital. Skrull went, yes. Yeah. Boink. Skrull hospital. Gotcha. Wrong room, idiot.

Yoink. Yeah. Nabbed. But then we see Rhodes trying to rehabilitate and walk. Mm-hmm. So was that a Skrull pretending? Yeah, pretending, I guess. Okay.

It's a bit on the nose. Why is a Skrull- Just say, I'm better now. Yeah. Well, that's not suspicious surgery worked i'm all good yo and i suppose you could hit him with a thumbs up well like oh yeah the initial um because like tony stark's not a fucking doctor yeah the initial like prognosis or whatever was like oh i was you know hit my actually didn't it actually clipped i'm

fine i'm doing awesome. They ran some tests. It's all good. Yeah. And then when people are like, Tony, isn't it suspicious that Rhodes is walking again? Tony's like, no, he gave me the thumbs up. Yeah. It's actually all sweet. Yeah.

He gave me a big thumbs up. He's fine. Yeah. Don't worry. Vision missed. Yeah. Thumbs up. I saw him hit you.

Wrong. No, he didn't. You fell from the sky. Uh-oh. No, no, no. That's funny that you say that because I'm fine. Thumbs up. I'll go for a run. Run in a circle.

Look at me hop. What else is an explanation? Give me some jump rope. I'll show you. Do I look like a guy who got hit by Vision's laser blast? No, I look like a guy that's normal. Thumbs up. You can trust the thumbs up. I trust the thumbs up. Thumbs up, it thumbs up. It's trusty. I've trusted it. I trust the thumbs up.

Thumbs up, it's okay. That's what that means. Yeah, it means. It's all right. Hey, it's all sweet, brother. So, okay. And then in Infinity War, where does War Machine first pop up?

It also means the Skrull has access to the War Machine armor, if that's the case. Yeah, that's true, but doesn't use it. So they go to space with Nebula to steal a gem. So they go back in time.

That's crazy. That scroll bought off a lot more than they could chew. Because presumably the reason you want Rhodes is partially, of course, because he's an Avenger, I think, but mostly because he works for the government. He's in a high-ranking position. Which is what they're using for in the show. So that's so funny that the Skrulls are like,

hey, you need to... One, I don't know why they picked Rhodes. I guess he's in hospital. They can grab him. I don't know. We need an Avenger. And oh, thank my lucky stars that Rhodes has come to Skrull Hospital. Thank you, Skrull God.

We have found Tony Rhodes. Tony Rhodes. Tony Rhodes. They Rhodes. Tony Rhodes. They don't know. They're not quite up to date on all the names. Well, because that also is like, yeah, when was this plan coming to fruition? Because in the 90s, old mate Mendo is like, yeah, mate, it's me. He's from space, mate.

And then it's like, yeah, no worries. We'll find a planet for you. Work for us. Fury's like, do spy shit because you can blend in. He does. Years go by. Some Skrulls decide to take over, guys. Some Skrulls get disillusioned with it all.

And they're like, you've been promising a new planet for a while. That has not delivered. snap happened now was the the yeah when was the scroll invasion the secret invasion yeah if you will when did that when was that kicking off like when did gravic be like yeah well this yeah fuck you yeah gravic is tony fury is that what you're gonna say yeah fuck you tony. My brain is real. Sprawls think everyone's name is Tony. Well, that one guy's name was. Yeah.

Are these dead now? So, Secret Invasion, the thing, the MacGuffin, is something that doesn't exist until after the final battle in Endgame. Okay. So it is hard to suggest that... Yeah, so it's the harvest, which is all the DNA of the people that were fighting Thanos. Everyone spilled blood, so they collected it all and chucked it in a vial. Yeah, so they can slip it up.

Yeah. Like, nom, nom, nom, that. Mmm, cool. Yeah. Spoilers they do, and one of them dies immediately, pretty much, after being shot through the guts with a Captain Marvel beam. Okay. The Secret Invasion can't have started before that,

because there was nothing... I mean, it could have, right? Because we kind of, you know, they're like, well, we're living in Chernobyl, this is New Skrullos, and we're just doing something, we're a bit cut. Thank our lucky stars, all this DNA on the field. Yeah, like, was it opportunistic? Well, at the very start, the first scene of Secret Invasion is our good friend Martin Freeman.

Yeah. Ross. Yeah, Everett Ross. Everett Ross. Yeah, that's right. I had Ross Galler in my head. Not his name. Wrong.

Yeah. Wrong Ross. Being like, hey, there's been bombs going off. Yeah. And then new guy who is immediately killed is like, oh, this is- There's a big bomb coming. X, Y, you know, this country retaliating to this, but they actually are retaliating to this country.

So it looks like they're doing this, but it's all been Skrulls. Skrulls all the way down, baby. Yeah, yeah. Skrulls have been playing this for a long time. So how long have they been scrolling around for? But why has Nick Fury come back then, then? Well, it's because old mate's wife died. Yeah.

My wife, she's dead. My wife died. I'm from space, man. Yeah, but does he... Does he doesn't... What? Because Gaia's already gone bad when his wife dies. Yeah.

Because she doesn't know that her mom's dead. Right. Yeah. So this timeline's tricky. Yeah. Because she doesn't know that her mom's dead. Right. Yeah. So this timeline's tricky. Yeah. There's a lot of pieces. There's a lot of bits to connect. And when did Everett Ross get taken? Because at one point he was like, you know, he got rescued

by Wakanda's lads. Well, I think that is meant to be... That's when it happened? No, it's like after. Like Black Panther happens. Yeah. Then he gets nicked. Yeah.

Okay. All right. Okay. Cool. Uh-huh. When? Where does Nick Fury come back when he does? It's not.

Because of Sick of Space. No, he's not Sick of Space. Stop answering. You haven't seen it. Yeah. Talos' wife dies. But he doesn't. And then he's like, you know.

I don't think that's why he comes back. Is it? No. Why does he come back then? Because secret invasion's happening, but I can't remember why. Oh, because Everett. Is he contacted by S.W.O.R.D.? Because he is S.W.O.R.D.

He is S.W.O.R.D. Okay. Why do I keep answering? Is he S.W.O.R.D.? Does he work? He's saber. Who's sword? Sword is the bad shield.

What? Yeah, no, in WandaVision. And they're also in Ms. Marvel? Yes, that's true. No, that's damage control in Ms. Marvel. That's true. Too many government organizations. We need smaller government.

Don't tread on me. Yeah, don't tread on me. This is big time government interfering with our space. Operations. Operations. The scrolls are back. I'm a humble mom and pop store. Yeah.

I don't want to pay taxes. That's what it goes down to, yeah. mom and pop store yeah I don't want to pay taxes my tax money is going to space shit I don't want my taxes going to space okay let me run my own town

that will end up getting overrun by bears yeah okay by bears yeah what happened so like a bunch of libertarians were like fuck this this, we don't want to pay taxes, we're going to make a libertarian paradise, we're going to make our own town. And so they did.

And they're like, hey, who's picking up the garbage? Because there's no government to pick up the garbage. They're like, we don't care, you don't have to pick up your garbage, you don't want to. Then they're like, all right, then bears came. And then we were like, we should do something with the bears. And other people were like, well, who's going to pay for taking away the bears? So then no one took away the, like, did anything to stop the bears.

So it was a bear-tarian fucking rule. Yeah, it's like that awesome court case where one of the libertarians fucked up because someone's like, should there be driver's licenses? Oh, fuck. And he's like, well, yeah, it's probably food. Boo, boo! And then the other guy's like, no! Why would there be? And the guy's like, yeah, it's probably food. Boo, boo. And then the other guy's like, no, why would there be?

And the crowd's like, yeah. He's like, should there be? He's like, no, there should not be. Everyone starts cheering. And then one person's like, well, there should probably be a test to show competency. Everyone hates him. Oh, sorry, Bob. There should not.

God gave me a car. The gift of driving. So should I not be able to drive a car? Yeah, big government should stay out of my car. So. Yeah, so. Did a bit of investigating. No, it's got absolutely nothing to do with that,

which scared me when you said that because I was like, I missed that. Yeah. Should just loosen the microphone to such a degree that it kind of donked him like a hammer why did that happen i don't know you were fiddling i was trying to fix it yeah so it wasn't to do with um bendo's wife no nothing to do with that it's uh because maria hill is working with everett Ross Whenever Ross Finds out that information Don't you say oh like you watched it

I get it now Well this is revealed in the first episode One that Jackson will see I did not realize this I don't recall it Yeah so Maria Hill is like oh okay The Skrulls are a problem so she calls

Nick Fury and as a repayment for her doing that, get shot in the guts. Okay, I see. The secret invasion, I guess, has started at the point of secret invasion. Yeah, that makes sense. But when did all this planning kick off to be like, we should probably start infiltrating Avengers and other government organizations and all this kind of stuff?

Well, the Avengers didn't start until, what, 2012? So, yeah. So, what? No, no, no. The Secret Invasion hasn't kind of been going on. How long has it been? Because Gravick has been Gravick-ing around doing some, like, spy shit up until when? When did he become so

disillusioned? He's like, we've got to form a resistance. Because he gets into power of, like, the Skrull leadership. Yeah. Yeah. Say, like, disillusioned he's like we got a formal resistance because he gets into power um of like the scrawl leadership yeah yeah say like current day now right yeah yeah which which is five years after the snap right uh longer and then i think it's 2024 and that's how long after the snap are we currently the snap happens in 2018 okay Okay. So then five years pass. So everyone comes back in 2023. Yeah.

Okay. So it's been like what? So six years since the snap. Yeah. Yeah. Jesus. Oh, wait. So is it six years?

So it's been 10 years vaguely since Civil War. Okay. Which means there's no way of already got taken in Civil War. So like, yeah. When did this all start kicking off to be like, we should take other,

yeah, if Rody got, also, if Rody got taken in Civil War, then they've not, they've sat on their thumb for a long time

before doing anything about it. Sitting on your thumb feels awesome because your thumb can go in between your butt cheeks and into your asshole.

Yeah. That's what I imagine sitting on your thumb, yeah. Yes. This ain't news to me. And that frees up another hand

to jerk off at the same time. No, put both thumbs up there, dude. Yeah. And the thumbs up says, it's all right. You can trust the thumbs up. You can trust the thumbs up.

Yeah, because surely at that, because I always thought they became disillusioned after, you know, like the snap, right? Yeah. It's like, okay, cool. You know, we're going to get a home or they promised this. And then, you know, well, the snap happens and Thanos, like, I get that, you know, you guys are doing some other stuff. You're going to get a home. They promise this and then the snap happens and Thanos. I get that you guys are doing some other stuff. You're busy. Fair enough.

You get snapped away. And then it's like, well, now Captain Marvel is dealing with all of that stuff and it feels like you've forgotten about us. Now we're disillusioned. Now we're doing this. It must have been happening well before that. But then Gaia in a speech where you think Nick Fury is actually not Nick Fury

but her being like when I got snapped away I was like fucking yes. It was awesome that I died. You wouldn't have seen the scene because it was after you stopped watching it. Clever. So presumably when they came back they were angry with you? How long would it take you to get pissed? Okay it's the 90s.

Hell yeah. Well I don't think I care at any point. Because I am living in the, like, I'm not at war with the Kree currently and I'm living in a society. Yeah. Wow. But say you

got taken to an alien planet, okay? Yeah. They're not that different from you, but it's different enough. Yeah, I pretend to be one of them, I live in a society you live in a society, Joker style and a guy says hey, I'm gonna get you another planet where you can live it can be full earth

this planet's gonna be full earth brother and you're excited for this you miss earth, you miss hot dogs and cows I miss my culture, I miss little earth yeah you miss Little Earth. Exactly. So how long until you were like, hey, man, where the fuck's this new planet?

Is the planet I'm currently living on awesome? It's, uh, what do you mean? You can't dress like you. You have to really hide who you are, your identity, your culture. But don't worry, you've got Chernobyl, which is... They haven't really done it up. You live in a place that only human beings can live, that the current residents

can't. But you can, if you wanted to, you've got to assimilate. You have to dress and act like you belong there. And then you can eat a hot dog, I guess. But you have none of your Skrull dogs. It's not a good hot dog. It's like a bad approximation. This hot dog talk

is really wavering me. A hot dog could be enough to... No. Yeah, I guess like I'd be like... How old are you? I think I'd be bummed out

but I don't think I'd get angry. I'd just be like, well, this is fucked. But I came from a war so this is better. Okay, because yeah, I'm thinking Skrullos

got destroyed or maybe even blown up. I don't know. Destroyed also. And by Galactus because I think it does... Galactus! It does in blown up. I don't know. Destroyed also. By Galactus. Galactus? It does in the comics.

I don't know what's happening in the films. No, in the films. It's simply Skrull and Kree war. Yeah. Skrull and Kree war. Yeah. Okay. So, yeah, I don't know how uninhabitable Skrullos currently is. Yeah, yeah.

And so it's like, well, you've come to Earth and it's like, look, we're going to try to find you a new home. Yeah. But so it's like, until that time, live in society. Yeah. Live in a society. Not as you, but as... Yeah. You're going to become another guy.

Then they go, right. Then we form New Skralos. How long has New Skralos been formed for? Because they are living in Chernobyl, but there's still a lot of ruins. Yeah, but it's... I mean, there's not that many of them. It's hard to do up Chernobyl. There is one million Skrulls, Jackson. Yeah, but to do up

Chernobyl... Again, something you mightn't have realized. What do you mean? How many people would... People? One person does up a house sometimes. Yeah, what do you mean by do up Chernobyl? One million people. Okay, fair enough. I'm just trying to figure out why they haven't fixed... Yeah, why they haven't done up Chernobyl- Yeah, why they haven't done up Chernobyl. Yeah, why they haven't done up Chernobyl.

They don't give a shit. But that's their new life living in filth. No, because they want the entire world to get nuclear bombed. Yeah. Remember that's part of their plan? I know that's part of their plan. Why would I do up Chernobyl if eventually I can live in a house? No, it's like, why would I do up Chernobyl when a bomb's going to drop on top of Chernobyl?

It's a waste of time. Is a bomb going to drop on Chernobyl? No, a bomb's going to drop on every part ofobyl. It's a waste of time. Is a bomb going to drop on Chernobyl? No, a bomb's going to drop on every part of the Earth. But then where are they going to live? Why would they bomb where they currently are? No, they're not... That's dumb as hell. They're immune to radioactivity.

Yeah, but they're not immune to a bomb landing on them. Well, they must be, because they're happy for the entire world to go to war and drop all the bombs. Yeah, but there'll be parts of the Earth where they're currently not standing. Yeah, but like... Yeah.

For example, you nuke Adelaide. Yeah. And I'm a Skrull living in Melbourne being like, yes. Yeah. But if I'm a Skrull living in Adelaide, I'm like, wait. Hang on. This is stupid. Whoa.

Hey, wait. Hey. Am I immune to the blast of a bomb? Time out, Gravik. Yeah, because I know I'll be okay, but the stuff around me won't. I get we're not doing up this

Chernobyl, because eventually it'll be bombed, but we'll have nowhere to live if we nuke everywhere. Just saying. I get we want to have the world irradiated. That's great. However, to do that, bombs gotta go off. And I've noticed on the addresses of where you're putting bombs

it's my fucking house. I just wouldn't be... Say I'm immune to fire. And the entire planet is gonna become a fireball briefly before settling down. I'm not wasting time rebuilding a house. But is the entire world to become a fireball briefly before settling down. Yeah. I'm not wasting time rebuilding a house. But is the entire world going to become a fireball?

Because the entire world is going to be- You'll have to live somewhere afterwards. No, no, no. The entire world isn't becoming bombed. The entire world is becoming like the fallout. Why waste your time just in case it gets knocked down? Well, how long is it taking? Yeah.

Because they're- Also, if it takes 30 years, I might build a house. They're in the final stages of... Also, yeah, because the whole plan is, alright, we're going to bomb Russia. This is the last part of their plan. They bomb Russia, America bomb...

Russia bomb America, and then they're just like, oh, here it is. Nuclear war, basically, yeah. Which is, yeah, there'll be places where that doesn't have a bomb. I really like Dusha in this scenario sitting in New Scrawloss underneath just like a bit of plank of wood or something. And they're like, do you want a house? We're going to blow this all up in 30 years. So what's the point?

It's not 30 years. It's like three weeks. But how long have they been in Chernobyl? I don't know. The show does not make it clear. Because if they would be in Chernobyl for like since, you know, say it's like the 90s. They're like, all right, hey, we're going to work for S.H.I.E.L.D. We're going to be shielding around and doing spy shit. And then Nick Fury's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, we'll get you a home.

They're like, we're not getting a home. They somehow are like, well, this place over here is irradiated. No one is going to hassle our gripes. Let's go there. Why is that not a town? Like, New Asgard, when they land, they build a fucking town.

Yeah, but they're also not planning to blow up Earth. Yeah, but were they like, alright, step one, look,

okay, before we get to step one, end goal, blow the shit up out of Earth or irradiate Earth. So don't worry about building a house. So irradiate Earth

is our final plan. So step one, we go to Chernobyl. Step two, we're just going to live there for a bit. So don't worry about building a house. So irradiate Earth is our final plan. So step one, we go to Chernobyl. Step two, we're just going to live there for a bit. But don't worry because we're going to nuke the shit out of the Earth. Yeah. So it's like, well, then why don't we just build a house in Chernobyl? Then I can be comfortable until we nuke the Earth. Yeah.

And they're like, no. No, no, no, no. Life is suffering? Well, maybe. I like to sit. Yeah. I would like one cushion, please. No, no, no. Life is suffering? Well, maybe. I mean, like, I like this shit. Yeah, I would like one cushion, please. Could I have a bed? Well, they spend a lot of time working on their plan.

Maybe they don't have time to build houses. There's so many, and also there's like a hierarchy of, no, because there is a hierarchy, because there's civilian Skrulls and there are soldier Skrulls for Gravik. So there is this hierarchy. Also, I may have only seen one episode of Secret Invasion. But when they go to new Skrulls, aren't there people walking around with armfuls of wood and stuff?

Yeah. Are they just starting now? Yeah. That's why when they come out, the creators come out and say, hey, Rhodes was stolen at the end of Civil War. And you're like, what? How? Yeah. Because, again, this plan is, first off,

it seems really just slapped together. Gaia joins New Skrullos in this series, and she's working for Gravik. What the fuck? Where was she before? So she goes to New Skrullos the first time? Yeah, because she's like, what do you want? They're like, what do you want?

She's like, to show my true skin or whatever. They say, welcome to new Skrullos. Was this a flashback? It's not, though. No. Also, does she age in, it's going to be a strange question, does she age in real time? Now, to clarify, I mean, she is

but a wee child. When we first get into her in the 90s, now she's, I guess, more of an adult, right? Emilia Clarke in real life would be in her mid-30s at least. So when she was a teenager or a kid. This could upset me greatly if she's way older than I think she is. In the 90s, right? And when they're like, I am but, say, their 10-year-old or 12-year-old Skrull. And then I'm like, well, okay, I're 10 year old or 12 year old Skrull

and then I'm like, oh okay, I'll blend in and I'll become human Skrull does that human Skrull so that Skrull pretending to be a human as a 12 year old grow up to be a merely a Klaue well can an adult Skrull be a

non-adult human? you know what I'm trying to ask? Yes, kind of. Gaia's like 40. What? Yeah, because she comes- She's 40? Yeah, she'd have to be like 40 in real life.

Because in the 90s, she's like 10, say. Yeah, so she's grown up. That's fair. I'm nearly 40. Yeah. Oh, no, I don't mean Emilia Clarke's 40. Emilia Clarke's turning 37. Yeah, okay.

Yeah, she's 40. Yeah, yeah, it's close enough. I knew she's 40. Emilia Clarke's turning 37. Yeah, okay. Yeah, she's turning 40. Yeah, yeah. That's close enough. I knew she'd be... I thought she'd be younger, yeah. Because she's got that Hollywood, you look really young, but you aren't. Yeah, yeah, fair enough, fair enough. I was 37.

Almost 37. Am I almost 37? I don't know. Oh, you were born in 85, right? Six. She's also born in 86. Oh, my God. In fact, she is one month older than you.

All right. That's crazy. All right. So, okay. Similar 90s vibe. Yeah. Okay. Whoa, Amelia Clark has a crazy name.

What is it? Amelia. Amelia Isabel. What the fuck? Euphemina. Euphemina? Euphemina? Hey, bro.

Euphemina? Euphemina? Is that a name? Euphemina. Euphemina? Euphemina. Hey, bro, Euphemina? Euphemina. Is that a name? Euphemina. E-U-P-H-E-M-I-A. Euphemia? Euphemia? Euphemia, I would say.

Euphemia me? Rose Clark. Whoa, that's heaps of names. Yeah, too many. Too many. All right, so say they were very similar in terms of like, all right, like the Skrull aging versus a human aging, or at least the kind of like-

Well, I guess it doesn't matter because a teenage Skrull could just be an adult person because they're just copying their skin. Yeah. What about this? Say I'm a Skrull and I copied a baby. Would I be a big baby? Well, I'm just like- Don't worry. I'm a big baby? Well, I'm just like... Don't worry, I'm a big baby.

Don't worry, everybody. Mama, dada, look after me. Infiltrate the highest positions of government as big baby. Yeah, small. Well, Gaia... Big baby for president. Go on. Gaia the Skrull becomes Nick Fury at one point, and he's old as shit.

Oh, yeah, true. Like, that doesn't affect Gaia. That's true. So Gaia Emilia Clarke is just Yeah I was just wondering A person that I guess Gaia's Yeah

Went on to Game of Thrones And said chill dude Yeah Cause they're like Khaleesi Yeah Khaleesi? Isn't it Daenerys?

No No she is the Khaleesi I mean it's Queen of Dragons Oh okay It's Daenerys Oh okay It's Daenerys Targaryen. Yeah, what are we talking about?

I got scared, but it's an Aragorn Strider situation. Got two names, one sort of a title. Yeah, well, it's not really two names. It's like, King? What the fuck? Is that name King? No, it's King George or whatever. As an outsider to the series, people will refer to a person with two words and both sound like names, even though one means king slash queen.

Yeah. Strider doesn't mean either of those things, but it's a similar thing. It's a title. It's like a nickname. Anyway. Strider's a stupid nickname. Most nicknames are a bit silly. What would you have preferred his nickname be?

Gorn. Hey, where'd that king go? Hey, Gorn. Wait, Aragorn went Gorn. Yeah, he went Gorn. Yeah, Aragorn. Okay. Yeah, it's good.

Gorn. Aragorn went Aragorn. Yeah, G-O-R-N. Who are you? Gorn. See? It's a nickname. Yeah.

Stride is not a nickname. That's just a different word. That's like if you're- What if you have a tall friend And you call him tiny What are you talking about? Are you fucked in the ass? It's like if your nickname was Bradley

No It is not I guess stride is a thing It's if Jax's nickname was Ace Yeah or Walker It's like if my nickname was Walker, because I walked everywhere. Because he strides. Yeah, I know he's Carlos over here.

Yeah, if you called me Carlos. You know how we used to call him Carboy because he lived in a garage? Yeah. Same thing. Same deal. Okay, I've come to terms, but I would still call him Gorn as a nickname over stridal. That's your personal choice. That's fair, dude.

That's allowed. That's fair. Has Frodo got nicknames? No. Why? I don't know. I was just wondering. I was like Lightfoot, but...

Isn't that the kind of hobbit he is? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So not really. I mean, no, they probably do. Yeah, probably. If you're like... Probably Frodo might be his nickname, to be honest. His name might be Frogdog or something.

Frogdog Baggins. Well, if his name was Frog Dog and someone called him Frodo, I'd be like, that's a good nickname. I'd be like, Frodo's better than Frog Dog, because Frog Dog is just two animals listed subsequently. Although Frog Dog's a good nickname for Frodo. Yeah, that's true. Frog Dog, what's up?

Yeah, it kind of works. Keep going either way. Okay. Anyway, yeah, so I'm just trying to figure out what this fucking plan took place, because then you can be like, oh that's when they took Rhodes Because yeah, sure he's in a hospital gown, sure he can't walk But if you took away the back brace

The leg brace of someone who can't walk Well yeah, they're gonna not walk Or just take him from rehab, because he'd still be doing rehab If he's wearing leg braces And look, to add further I guess evidence that this doesn't happen At Civil War If you cut a scrawl, they do not bleed red Well I mean, evidence that this doesn't happen at Civil War. If you cut a

Skrull, they do not bleed red. Well, I mean, yes, but also Rhodey in Infinity War, which takes place after Civil War, following his paralysis during the events of Civil War, Rhodes is given an apparatus by Stark to walk again, although he's reluctant to don his

war machine armor and rejoin the Avengers due to his injury. Don Cheadle believes that Rhodes is negotiating this reunion and rejoining the team. He also explains that Rhodes' relationship with Stark deepened from the accident, saying, I think Tony feels somewhat responsible and culpable in a way, but again, he'll always have my back in a way that only he could have. A Skrull ain't thinking that. No. And I understand that part of that was the real life guy talking about his character but even if you just take the in character stuff you do see people as well being like

he's crying during Tony Stark's funeral or whatever but if he stole his memories maybe and maybe we'll get into this at another point but memories and emotions are the same thing if you take someone's memories do you get their emotions is pleasure an emotion like sort of yeah it's a sensation I guess do you get their emotions? Is pleasure an emotion? Yeah. Sort of, yeah.

It's a sensation, I guess. Well, no, but you can have pleasurable things that don't feel good. Huh? Excuse me? Yeah, where you punch yourself in the dick and you're like, ooh, but ooh. Can I just have one example of a pleasurable thing

that doesn't feel good? Well, like, okay. What about if it's a beautiful summer morning? Joy. Are you describing joy? No. You've stepped outside and you're like, uh-huh. Sounds like joy, dude.

I'm experiencing so much pleasure enjoying the day. It's pleasure. It's pleasurable to be outside. Are you describing happy? You're describing, like, happy, man. The feeling of being pleasure. It's pleasurable to be outside. Are you describing happy? You're describing like happy, man. The feeling of being happy. It's pleasurable. You're just using the word pleasurable instead of happy. A bath can be pleasurable. Yeah, but then they feel good, right?

Yeah. You're not having them being like, man, that was a good bath, but it felt like shit. Yeah. It doesn't feel bad necessarily. Baths feel good. That's the whole thing. So it's like, say for example, it doesn't feel bad necessarily. Paws feel good. That's the whole thing. So it's like, say, for example, like, well, it doesn't feel good for me. Like, it's like feeling wise as a tactile.

But like, oh, someone I know that I really care about does really well in something. But that's feeling pride. Well, what about if I take pleasure in hanging out with my friends? Can I do that? Why does that not feel good? Well, do that? That's a pleasure conversation. But the sensation, the physical sensation. True. I just get pleasure from the company.

You're explaining being happy again. You're explaining, I don't know, like being a social creature. I experience pleasure being amongst my good friends. You're just describing the feeling of joy, which is an emotion. Yes. Okay. So pleasure is only what? is only a pleasurable experience and eating ice cream a pleasurable experience isn't an emotion yeah yeah okay because like pleasure is just something that feels good which then ticks off like happy or like yeah where a pleasurable experience i wouldn't say is an emotion i'd say that's like a thing like a pleasurable experience, I wouldn't say is an emotion. I'd say that's like a thing. Like a pleasurable experience will lead to a happy emotion.

Yeah. You have a positive emotional response to a pleasurable experience. You wouldn't feel neutral to a pleasurable experience. So again, for example, some people like it when someone in high heels steps on their ghoulies. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nice, nice. Right. So me. their ghoulies. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nice, nice. Yeah, right. So for me.

Not like a peanut. Yeah, awesome. Ball-beam hammer straight to my testicles. Nice. Right? Most people, myself included, would be like, ow, this is not a pleasurable experience. It's causing me pain.

And this sucks. I hate this, actually. Ow, ow, ow. I found myself in this situation. Ouchies. Now, some people would be like, ouchies, but that feels good. I'm about to cum. That's true.

So it's pleasurable to them. Yeah, okay. All right. So it's a painful experience, but they are deriving pleasure from their pain. Now, okay, imagine you scrolled into somebody for whom getting their nuts whacked with a mallet, cartoon style, felt really pleasurable. But you as a scroll, that doesn't get you. I don't know what a Skrull genital situation is. That's fucked up.

Imagine you don't, like, nuts are a foreign concept to you. Well, they would be. Do Skrulls not have nuts? Well, no, but you could shape, change into whatever, right? Whoa, that's awesome. Where are your organs? Do Skrulls get human organs or Skrull organs? Huh?

Like, if you're... I don't know what a Skrull's guts is like. I'm assuming that they must have a similar makeup to humans because you can kill a Skrull by shooting it in the head, which presumably pops its brain. There could be a heart in there. But then again, because, like, well, you could say that, sure, but Skrulls have only just experienced humans.

Yeah. They've only just been like, holy shit. That doesn't mean shit. We've recently found out that maybe aliens exist if you believe this court thing that was going on or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But what I mean is like, for centuries, millennia, they've been shape-shifting into, say, Kree and other beings. But Kree look like guys too. Sometimes.

Sort of, yeah. Because blue. Yeah. Isn't fucking Jude Law a Kree and other beings. But Kree look like guys too. Sometimes. Sort of, yeah. Because blue. Yeah. Isn't fucking Jude Law a Kree? Yeah, and he's not blue. Does Thor have regular guts? I don't know. Why would he?

He seems to enjoy getting his knob slobbed, so he has a dick. I mean, when? Can you give me one piece of evidence? He's horny? When is Thor horny? Pretty much all the time after the first movie. He's definitely horny in Ragnarok.

And in Love and Thunder, he maybe even fucks his hammer. There's a scene on the fucking boat. Yeah. Which is being pulled by Goats? The axe? Yeah The axe is powering the boat And the goats

God I hate those fucking goats Shut up Awful I'm glad they died Yeah they hit the moon They hit the moon They get squashed by the moon Fuck you goats

Into the moon from memory God that was so annoying. I remember that scene too, so I think that is also what happened. Okay, good. But yeah, so. More characters in comic book movies should die from just splatting into the moon. But yeah, I don't know what a Thor's organ situation is. Not a Thor, sorry.

It's a girl. There has been examples again in comic books where like shapeshifters will to avoid being shot in the like brain or the heart

they'll like shapeshift so their heart is in their leg or whatever I put the brain in the base of my foot yeah and so like that's how some

shapeshifters have avoided getting got yeah well clearly this roads where is the safest place to put your brain in your body? I've been wondering that too. Tommy.

Tommy? No, Tommy, bad. Oh, yeah, getting punched in the back basket. Murder, murder. Arse cheek. Oh, getting kicked in the bum. No, no, no. Sitting down.

Sitting down. Anyway, guys. Oh, I like how an octopus will kind of get its neuropathways kind of spread throughout its body. Oh, okay. Bit of brain everywhere. If I only get like a finger cut off, I'm only a little bit lobotomized. Just a little bit. You can be a little bit lobotomized.

That'd be fine. I know this is brain, but I think the best place for the human brain is in the human skull. I honestly wish I could put all my organs up there. Yeah, there'd be so much space for the skull. There's so much space. You do have a lot of space up there. Well, question. Yeah.

So, because you can shape shift to whatever you're at. I can look like Tony Fury. Yeah. He's just an old guy. So, I can just kind of, like, it's a skin. Mm-hmm. Everything else doesn't need to be his, right?

No, no. So I could put, I could put my brain in my belly, but then encase it with a lot of skull. Like, a lot of bone. Yeah.

Like, I don't need either. In? What we've seen of the Skrulls in the MCU, or the MMI. MMP or whatever it's called.

MCMPU. McPoo. Yeah. Marvel Comics Moving Pictures Universe. Yeah, yeah. But they're in the end. McPoo. Yeah, yeah.

McPoo. We have only ever seen Skrulls turn into guys. Okay. And the way they turn into it makes you think that it's just like a... On the surface? Yeah. Well, because it's got to be one of two things. Either it's the skin.

It's just the skin. It's just the outer layer. And their organs are always Skrull organs. Yeah. Or they don't have organs. Because it wouldn't make sense otherwise. Skrulls are stronger than guys, which makes me think it's just an aesthetic thing. Yeah.

Is it... Like, yeah. How does that, I guess, I mean, they know it's biological, but is it like a light refractory thing? It must be. They just have a layer of skin that they can swap colors of. It's kind of like an octopus.

They've got little LED cells or something that they can change around to change their color, so I guess it's the same for the Skrulls. So it would be like brains everywhere. Yeah! Skrulls. So it would be like brains everywhere. Yeah. Skrulls very much. Octopuses.

Yeah, in many ways. It sucks that human beings just got intelligence, like as a general freak nature thing. And I guess opposable thumbs. And bum cheeks. Yeah. And bum cheeks. And ass cheeks. We've got some cake.

Yeah. That's pretty cool. Ass cheeks are pretty awesome. They are good. They are good. Yeah. Because, yeah, I was going to say octopuses areopuses are out here, like, blended in with stuff, and all we've got is independent thought or whatever.

But we do have arse cheeks. I like that we came out of the sea as, like, a whole species, got up a tree for a bit, then we came down the tree again. I like that we were up the tree for a bit, and then we were like, this sucks. I'm leaving the tree. Do you reckon we went up the tree, then got arse cheeks, like, this sucks. I'm leaving the tree. Do you reckon we went up the tree,

then got ass cheeks and then we're like, I've got to try these out. Yeah. Climbed back down the tree, sat on the ground, we're like, this is awesome.

But I reckon it'd be better to sit on a branch. With ass cheeks? No. It's a wonder we left it all. You reckon it's better to sit on a branch without ass cheeks?

No. You don't sit on a branch you got no ass. You just crouch on it. That sucks. I don't want to crouch on it. Why do you want to sit on a branch you got no arse. You just crouch on it. That sucks. I don't want to crouch on it. Why do you always sit on a branch? It sounds nice.

Unless you're like, where's a branch? How thin is this branch? How thick is it? It's like a thick branch. Are you sitting on it? Are you straddling it? I'm dangling my legs over either side of it. So you're straddling it.

Like a horse. Oh, yeah. You're nuts. And your arse cheek. It's going up your arse cheek. Yeah, a bit branch makes it. And your ass cheek, like it's going up your ass cheek. Yeah, a bit. How is that good? Well, it's not bad.

Sit on it like a chair. Well, that's good too. That's better, but a stick is going to eventually make your ass feel bad. Let's say we're sitting on the hard ground. It was grass. Grass or sand or dirt Is softer than branch I reckon you got no ass cheeks Sitting on grass is just as good

I reckon you got no ass cheeks Sitting on grass you lie down You're like This is alright Hey does a chimpanzee sit on the grass No not really They squat They sit down

No they sort of squat They sit down They cross their legs No They don't cross their legs I'm pretty sure they just squat They sit down They sit their legs no they don't cross their legs i'm pretty sure they just sit down they sit on the grass tell us listeners do chimpanzees sit on the grass is this what you imagined the scroll episode would be like all these questions we want answered yeah

yeah well i guess like bringing it back to roadie yeah the scrolls must have only just... Well, when the snap happens in the fucking secret invasion, they say that's where they sort of lose trust. Because all this stuff happened and then... But that's crazy because they would have then... If you take that they took over Rhody during Civil War as gospel, then that means that they did that without being disillusioned. They just did it to be... Just in cases.

Yeah, just as a sort of safeguard or something. Fuck this one guy. We're going to steal his life and then cry at his best friend's funeral for him. After they see him fuck up trying to protect the president, they're like, man, that vice president...

That's the man for us. That vice president almost did a coup. Yeah. Maybe we do some coups. Say you're going to take over somebody. Let's imagine we're in the position of the Skrulls. We're Johnny Three Skrulls. We're like, okay, I want to get into a position of power in the government. Why pick not the president?

The president is harder to get to. Why? What do you mean why? If you can be anyone, why is harder to get to. Why? What do you mean why? If you can be anyone, why is the president hard to get to? Okay, you can be anyone currently. Where you currently are right now, Jackson, you can be anyone. How are you getting the president? Yeah, but I'm one man.

Imagine I have the Skrulls behind me. No, no, imagine you're just like the three of us to figure this out. Okay, how do we get to the president? All right, so the first thing we've got to do is- I'm going to become the president and then just try and walk in. All right. That's your plan? Okay.

Bold. Brave when the president's like, that's not me. And you're like, ah! Well, well, well, if it is an imposter Joe Biden, I'll say. And then they're like, you've not done the scroll thing where you have his memories. I've somehow fucked up. Don't have his voice. I've somehow fucked up don't have his voice. I just sound like me. I'm Joe Biden. You're Australian.

Yeah, I've always sounded like this. You voted for an imposter. Play the tapes. So then technically he's the president then, right? Fuck! Take me away. Then you voted to scroll me.

Yeah, because couldn't you just be like, okay, well, because we're not tied to one person. No, you can be whoever you want. I would wait until the president got sick, which will happen in some capacity, and we'll have to go to even just the doctors, right? In that situation. When was the last time you heard it reported on the news? They're not always reporting when the president gets a cold Yeah but how are you finding this out? I got guys on the inside

So you've got guys on the inside Hey you do know that the president Generally goes for like a yearly checkup Oh great I go then So you just impersonate The surgeon general Who is going to be the one That does all the physicals right

and so then what you do is because you have at least me and you it's kind of like cool i'm gonna be you be the surgeon general for a bit or whatever you're like cool cool cool cool cool because you know i'm guessing that that person's security detail would be a lot less than say the president yeah when then it's like yep the physical happens then it's like sweet then it's like, yep, the physical happens, then it's like, sweet, then it's our time to shine. I, you know, you've already got in the office or in the thing there, you know, he comes in, we're like, okay, cool, bag over his head. Yeah, put him in a van out the back or whatever. I become the president.

Yeah, the physical was great. We go away and then you're stuck with the real president or whoever. Yeah, I take him to a facility somewhere, you go steal his memories when you get a spare moment. But I mean, bada-boom, you're the president. Douche is in jail. Like, it's not that hard to get the president if you wanted to, because that's just using two people, right?

You have a couple of Skrulls that you could kind of work your way in to be like, even if you were under the... Alright, cool. Organize him to come speak at your school. You're going so elaborate. School? The president speaks at schools or universities. Am I a child in this situation?

How are you organizing that? Well, same way you'll find out when his doctor's appointment isn't getting into the doctor. No, I'm just becoming, you just become the surgeon general at some point. So you're just going to bluff being the surgeon I guess you could steal his memories. And then you're just doing surgeries and kissing his wife

Or whatever Yeah Well then if you wanted to You take over the wife as well So you have a whole Skrull family I'll be both Nobody ever sees me and my wife at the same time I think you do get emotions

If you become somebody Because it's that guy who is a Skrull But he's taken over someone's whole family, and he has a kid. But it's not a Skrull kid. That's the guy's kids that his life he's taken over, and he's like, don't kill my kid. Whoa. That's dangerous. So they just take on the, like, as in.

Do they? Or is he not? Or has he just formed the detachment? Yeah. I don't know. And then he doesn't bother anything. He doesn't actually get up the password. He just gets shot in the head.

Okay. Makes you think If you had A tragic memory though Would it just not By virtue Just by virtue Of having empathy You know like

If you're Rhodes Right But you're Skrull Rhodes You're Skroats Skroats I am Skroats And you're at You're Skroats

You're at Tony Stark's funeral Yeah Now you don't give a fuck About this guy But you access The memories That Rhodes had Of his relationship at Tony Stark's funeral. Now, you don't give a fuck about this guy, but you access the memories that Rhodes had of his relationship with Tony Stark, and just by virtue of empathy, you're like, this is sad for this guy. You'd have to access emotions, because if I played you a 30-minute video of a guy, just a guy,

and then I played a video of that same guy's funeral. You're like, man, I'm devastated. If you played a clip, well, it's more complicated than that. Yeah, because you were also that guy. If you played a 30-minute clip of you and a guy hanging out. So say I dressed up like a clown. I got a clown persona, right? I'm Jozo the Clown. jozo yeah that's a good name

and so and but i'm only i've only started being jozo but you have a 30 minute video of me as jozo the clown yeah playing with another clown who is dead yes will i be Yeah. I don't know. Maybe. But it's your job to be sad. Yes. You can force being sad. I could cry big fake clown tears if I need to. Also, I'm not a clown. That's important for this. I'm actually just pretending to be a clown.

But if you're pretending to be a clown, at what point are you just a fucking clown? Can you pretend to be a clown? I think at that point you're just a clown. Yeah, like if you dress up like a clown and you're like, I'm just pretending. I'm going to be like, brother, you're a clown. No, but then if you go to a Halloween party dressed as a clown, that doesn't make you a clown. Oh, that's true. Good point.

Good point. Fair enough. If I dress up in scrubs, I'm not a surgeon. But if I suck off the memories of the Surgeon General and then wear scrubs, I guess I could perform surgery. Yeah, that's true. Yeah. What if I have clown training and I dress up like a clown? Then you're a clown.

But what if I'm just dressing up like a clown? No, but if you go to clown training, you're a clown all the time. If you go to clown college and you graduate, guess what, Bozo? You're a clown for life. Yeah. Or, like a Catholic, you're a clown for life Yeah Or Like a Catholic You're a lapsed clown Yeah if I'm not clowning

If I haven't clowned in 10 years You're still a clown You're still a qualified clown I'm a lapsed clown I'm lapsed Yeah I won't go to clown heaven Yeah

But if we stop doing this podcast Yeah If we stop doing this podcast Yeah I don't think we're podcasters anymore Well, I mean, by this I mean You'll be a former clown When you retire

You're a clown and you retire Retired clown But are you still kind of a clown? No, you're retired But then if you start clowning around Are you out of retirement? Yeah, what if I do a platform Or I inflate a balloon? Yeahin' around Are you out of retirement? Yeah what if I do A platform Or I inflate a balloon

Yeah you've come back Out of retirement I've come back out of retirement I'm a clown again One last job If you just make people laugh And you're being silly That's fine

What about this Costume party I'm not a trained clown But I've come to the costume party Dressed like a clown Yes Then I inflate a balloon Yeah

Am I a clown? No You're doing a party trick What if I inflate a balloon And then I a clown? No. No, you're doing a party trick. What if I inflate a balloon and then I shape it into a dog? Yeah, you're doing a party trick. Yeah, you're just doing a weird party trick. But no one will be impressed by everyone who's kind of confused. Okay.

People might think you're- I don't know why you're confused. Why is this guy rolled in and doing clown tricks? This guy dressed like a clown is doing a balloon animal. What the hell? It's Halloween and I don't understand it. If you're at a Halloween party and someone starts is doing a balloon animal. What the hell? It's Halloween and I don't understand it. If you're at a Halloween party and someone starts busting out balloon animals. Are they dressed like a clown?

Yeah, but that doesn't change. That's what a clown does. But then they're in a costume party. If I'm dressed as a firefighter and then extinguish a fire at a party. That's awesome. That's a great thing you just did. You'd be called the firefighter of the party. If there was a fire at a party and you were dressed like a firefighter, I would briefly look to you.

Yeah, 100%. Briefly, before I called them, you know, I tried to sort it out myself. I would be like, Dusha is dressed like a firefighter. I honestly think if I was dressed as a firefighter and there was a fire somewhere, I would try and fight it. Yeah, of course. So if I was a clown. But that doesn't make me a firefighter. No, it doesn't.

No, it doesn't. That is true. It's what we were saying. We're just doing a cool party trick. I'm just doing a cool party trick. You found it confusing. No, I just think that if I'm at a Halloween party where someone is doing their profession

that they're dressed up as, I'm like, too much. Why? Why are they doing this? It's part of the bit. Part of the costume. They've committed to the bit. Yeah, you gotta give them props.

I think that's above and beyond to an embarrassing degree And then I have to process the feelings Which I would call confusion Either that's committing to the bit Yeah I think it's fair enough So yeah I don't I think the only way You'd be like oh I'm disillusioned with I guess Fury and Earth's plan

It has to be after the snap The blip And also at that point If you are scrolling around being like, we ain't got to take over the Earth. You know when the perfect time to take over the Earth? Snap. Yeah. That fucking moment.

The government's falling apart all around you. Tony Stark is no longer Tony Stark anymore. There is no Avengers. There is no whatever. You can do whatever you want. This is the perfect time to infiltrate. Yeah. I mean, they did try that now anyway anyway because it's the plot of the show.

Yeah. No, but during the blip. The blip when there was half the people. It's half explained in the show that that was actually good for them maybe. Why? Because there was less people. They could blend in easier. Yeah, and that's the point.

Then that's when you take over. Yeah, but I think they were happier because it wasn't like- How is it hard to blend in? No, it was like, I think... Oh, you're trying to make me remember a show I really didn't want to watch. Yeah, fair enough. I'm just like, okay.

No, because it wasn't like... It was easy to blend in, but I think also because there was like a lot of chaos and stuff, they could kind of just do more what they wanted, which does make sense that if they were disillusioned, attack then. Yeah, so they clearly weren't...

Because humanity's already weak. Yeah, so clearly they weren't disillusioned attack then. Yeah. Because humanity is already weak. Yeah. So clearly they weren't disillusioned. Well, yeah, no, because I'm pretty sure the show suggested it was after people came back and they were like, it was overcrowded and it was fucked again. Yeah. So then they couldn't have grabbed Rhodey before the blip. Unless they did it just for shits and giggles.

Because they hate that man. They hate Rhodey? Well, they love him so much they only want to be him. Yeah. And maybe the Skrulls took turns being Rhodes. Yeah. And then one Skrull got shot in the head. That sucks.

Yeah, you're right. It doesn't make sense why they went for, say, yeah, Rhodes and not, like, the actual president. Because, yeah, if you can get Rhodes, you can get the president. Like, it just doesn't make any sense of why they need to kind of do this. Because, like, I don't think there's anyone in, like, the world that the Skrulls could not become. But wait a second. So let's assume that it was Civil War, right?

And that it was kind of, it was opportunistic. Yeah. Right? They're not disillusioned yet, but maybe there's, like, a little bit of that. There are some Skrulls that are, they're not disillusioned. They're not planning anything, but they'll be pissed off. Jackson, you're having a bad day. There's a gun. You're not angry at this person.

But you could shoot them now if you want to be opportunistic. But maybe you're just, you're the kind of Skrull. Opportunistic impersonator? Yeah, like you're the kind of Skrull, you know, you're thinking at some point in the future, you're future-proofing. We're gonna have to take over the Earth. You find a clown costume.

An opportunistic clown. But then it's not like they got Rhodey to then. There's no costume parties planned yet. You found this clown costume. Is it a good costume? Yeah. Well, I mean, that's great. Why would I not take that clown costume?

If I know this. They were just at the hospital being like, wow. It's heavy and you know it's someone's. Whose? Maybe a man dropped it whilst stepping into a restaurant. I think if I take this clown costume off this person, I am doing some kind of service. Because that man is up to no good. It's falling out of his bag as he steps

into a restaurant. It's heavy. It's on the ground in front of you. Whatever he's about to do in that restaurant is not going to go well for anybody. I'm doing a public service. What if that restaurant had hired him to perform as a clown? Well.

Then he robbed that man of his job and his yeah, so Jozo the clown or whatever. Yeah. He's about to step into a restaurant but he's in his civil clothes. Right. Clown costume falls to the ground. Yeah. You see it. No one will notice it if you pick it up but it is heavy. It will be annoying to get home. Am I radicalized?

No. Well then no, probably not. But there are going to be scrolls that are going to be like, for the greater good in the future, it's worth it for me to take over this guy because what an opportunity I have right now. Okay. Let's say that's true. Yeah. You have, you've just, luck would have it, you've stumbled upon roads in the hospital

and you're like, I got a brilliant idea. I was a scroll impersonating a doctor already. I've always wanted to ride an Iron Man suit. I had a perfect opportunity. So you do this. And you're like, sweet. Now I'm going to be War Machine. I get my cool armor. And then the snap happens.

You're like, well, luckily I was blessed by not being or cursed, I don't know yet, by being one of the survivors that didn't get off into the ether. And then you're like, okay, well, I guess I can just chill for a bit. Then the guy you impersonate as good friends come over and they're like, we're going to go back in time and do some time shit.

Sure. And you're like, all right. And then at no point are you like, if I can go back in time, I could maybe go back in time and stop the Kree from ever fucking up our shit. Yeah, that's a good point. So, yeah, I'll go back in time and get the gem.

Wink. He does just get the gem, doesn't he? He just gets the gem. And he's just like, yeah, whatever. And they don't seem to have any knowledge there of, like, space shit. It is all very much like, duh, okay. Whereas a Skrull would be like, yeah, I'm from space. This is not that big of a deal.

But maybe you don't want to blow your cover. So you've got to be like, huh? But the cover is Nebula. Yeah. Nebula has cybernetic eye, I could probably tell. That's true. Yeah, good point. I mean, Nebula seems high-tech enough that she could see through Skrull shit.

I mean, that is just a guess. It's never been established. Yeah, I just, I don't also then, yes, because if you're like, no, no, no, no, no. I'm not going to plan anything. I'm going to go back, like, literally back in time so we could prevent all, like, all my good friends from dying for the Kree and my homeworld. Or I'll wait. I'll wait in five more fucking years just to be the president's sidekick for a bit. The secretary of war?

What is his role? He's the right-hand man to the president. I can't remember his official title. Yeah, fair enough. Vice president? No, he's not a vice president. Secretary general? It might be the Secretary General.

Yeah, okay. I could probably find out. Army, lead army man. Oh, yeah, it says he's a lead army man. Minister of Defense or something? Yeah. So it's like, yeah, instead of like, oh, yeah, sweet. Or, okay, yeah, I'm going to become a, I'm just going to blend in.

We're going to get all the gems. Oh, yeah, we'll bring everyone back. I'm not going to grab the infinity gauntlet and be like, I wish Skrullos was back again. No, that'd be crazy. But maybe you're like, it's gonna be too difficult to get the gauntlet. I'm not gonna be like, yeah, yeah, when they all do that, I'm just gonna like shapeshift into tone and be like,

yeah, yeah, give me the gauntlet. Literally any point in that moment where that Skrull who has motivation to be like, fuck this earth and fuck the Kree from destroying my homeworld or making my homeworld inhospitable or chasing us, whatever. Surely, there's no point there that you're like,

I have the perfect opportunity to grab this thing and maybe I will sacrifice myself. Maybe because I am a Skrull and like, you know, what happened to Tony and all that. Yeah, I'll do that for all the other Skrulls. Yeah, yeah. But I'm doing this for the greater good of Skrulls. I am going to just grab that gauntlet, grab that gem

grab that gauntlet, do a clicky click Who? Yeah, fair enough. Thanos? Probably. And then do that click and then be like, I wish for Skrullos to be all powerful and the Kree to be little baby dick idiots Well, it's funny because if you are

impersonating Rhodey, you actually probably don't know what the Infinity Gems are. But you get explained. Do they explain it to you? Yes. Oh, okay. They do a whole presentation. Yeah, that's true.

And so if you're a Skrull being like, oh. And then if you are Rhodes in that situation, and say you don't take any of these opportunities up, at least then when you are working with Gravik and working with that kind of underground to be like,

hey, there's these gems. Yeah, do you want to try and get these gems, dude? Yeah, yeah. Look, I think at the moment

they don't exist, but like, at least that was, yeah, no, I guess they don't exist anymore so that's not your plan. So maybe you should

shut the fuck up because you don't want to be like, hang on. You wasted the opportunity to. Yeah, because you said I was going to be the president's sidekick. And that's what we're going to do. No, but can't. Yeah, you had the opportunity to wish everyone back.

You're telling me you were three feet away from a fucking glove. That was scary. You could just put on. You fight Thanos then, dude. I'm not doing it. Thanos wasn't even there, right? Yeah. And they gave it to Hulk? Yeah.

He's stronger than me. You couldn't have been like, for the greater good, I will do it, lie, and be like, yeah, I'll bring humanity back. You just didn't do that? They said it would kill me. Yeah, they said it could make me sick. You see what happened to the Hulk's arm? He's green just like me. Yeah, I'm scared. Yeah, they said it could make me sick. Do you see what happened to the Hulk's arm? He's green just like me. Yeah, I'm scared.

Yeah, no, fair enough. This is a long time back now, but I had to go digging deep to find out what Rhodey's role was to get close enough to think that it was a good idea. He's just a colonel of the Air Force. So I think the Skrull maybe got in promotions. And also... Step one, the glory of job. Secret Invasion takes place in 2026. Yeah. And Infinity War is wrapped up in 2020.

Sorry, Endgame is wrapped up in 2023. Yeah. When we see Rhodes in Falcon and Winter Soldier, what role does he play? Is he still the... Yeah, same thing. Is he a colonel? I guess he's Soldier he is what role does he play? Is he still the Yeah, same thing. Is he a colonel? I guess he's whatever he is in

In Secret Invasion so at that point he has got that promotion. So if it's not Because he's donating in Falcon and Winter Soldier he's there donating the shield to that museum.

Funny thing to do if you're a Skrull. Yeah. Wait, yeah. Very funny thing to do if you're a Skrull because you're like that's like a symbol

of like hope and symbol of like humanity and all this kind of bullshit. Wipe your ass with it. It's made from vibranium, which I'm fairly certain the Skrulls could have utilized. Yeah, they could have made... Hey, Rhodes, what happened to that shield that we gave you to hand to the museum? What shield? I lost it. What shield?

Who? Well, okay, so if it's not Civil War, because that doesn't make sense, and it's not Infinity War or Endgame not civil war because that doesn't make sense and it's not infinity war or endgame yeah because it doesn't make sense to donate the

shield yeah yeah yeah maybe it was after that ceremony the falcon winter soldier he walked

off screen and his girl was like yoink yep or it just happened between falcon and

winter soldier and secret invasion at some point yeah don't they talk like falcon and rose they have a conversation.

Isn't it about Cap? Or something like that? Hey, Cap was a great guy. It's about Cap, and isn't it also about the legacy of Captain America and the fact that Falcon, a black man, is taking over? That's a crazy thing for the Skrull to weigh in on. No, no, no. That happens in Secret

Invasion. Yeah, and it's also very... That's weird. Rhodey and Fury have a discussion in Secret Invasion. Yeah, and it's also very weird. Rhodey and Fury have a discussion about what it means to be black and in a position of power. And Rhodey's like, I don't give a shit. Shut up. That's what I mean. Rhode's very flippant. Whereas when he's talking to Falcon, not really. No, not the same. Doesn't have the same vibe.

So I guess everyone on the internet that said it happened after Endgame and that the creators don't know what the fuck they're talking about. We're happy to report that, no, it didn't happen after Endgame. You don't know what the fuck you're talking about. We're happy to report that, no, it didn't happen after Endgame. You don't know what the fuck you're talking about. It happened literally after his last appearance on screen. Yeah, it kind of happened just prior to Secret Invasion. It happened maybe two weeks ago.

Yeah, I reckon. Which is also funny because Rhodey's like, oh, man, I've been in here too long. Relax, brother. You haven't even started. Well, you're dead now. Well, no, the Skrull's dead. Real Rhodey's still alive. Well, yeah, yeah, but I was talking about the Skrull. Relax brother You haven't even started Well you're dead now Well no The Skrull's dead Real Rhodey's still alive

Well yeah But I was talking about the Skrull Yeah He was I'm confused Because the Skrull wasn't there Oh okay No

I was thinking about You got that emotion again Confusion I was thinking about Don't worry Give me a thumbs up It's all good It's all good

Rhodey says I've been in here a long time But not Skrull Rhodey That's real Rhodey says that. Oh, I see. I expected you to understand Joel Zammett because you have seen the series. You know how little I paid attention especially to that last episode. It is really hard to pay attention.

Oh, it's so hard. It's not confusing. It just drains your entire life. Well, how do you always know he's been there for long? He's been in the fucking Matrix or whatever. Yeah, that's true. He's like, oh, I've been there for a long time. He's been in the fucking Matrix or whatever. Yeah, that's true. He's like, oh, I've been there for a long time. No, dude, you've been here for two weeks.

Yeah, maybe he's- He fell for so long, Dan. Yeah, dude. Well, for him, it's like, yeah, two weeks is heaps. Two weeks is a long time. Two weeks is a long time to be in one place. Someone kept me in the hole for two weeks. I've been here for a while.

Jesus Christ. I'd be caught. That's true. That's true. That's true. Yeah, two weeks. I reckon that's where he's been. Yeah, I think you're right.

He's been done for two weeks. The answer is two weeks. Nice to actually's where he's been. Yeah, I think you're right. He's been done for two weeks. The answer is two weeks. Nice to actually finally do one with an actual answer. Yeah, we came to a conclusion. I'm proud of us. Two weeks. And on that note, I've been Joel. I've been Jackson.

I've also been Joel. Yeah, was this one good? We gave you an answer. It was a question, you got an answer. We did it. We finally did it. Turns out the internet was wrong and we're right. Yeah.

Got into complaints Message Jackson Yeah