Plumbing the Death Star - Why are the Weasleys Poor?

Episode Date: November 10, 2014

In which our heroes count up their galleons, bamboozle some muggles, bully Ron, and wonder why the Weaslys are so poor. In part two of our seven part exploration of the Harry Potter Universe we look at the bizarre nature of Wizard currency, discover we don't understand brains in the slightest, and explore the danger of floo-powder. Jackson thinks the Weaslys would enjoy Catholicism, Zammit doesn’t think the Weasly’s are poor at all, and Duscher just wonders why magic wont solve everything. It’s a wizarding spending spree as we spend every last knut, galleon, and the middle one on a fleet of nimbus 2014s and all the butter beer we can drink so we can rub it in Ron’s impoverished face .To help Ron afford new robes head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can make a difference to his shitty poor wizard life. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Sans Pants Radio, centaurs aren't doctors. This episode is brought to you by John Titus. That beautiful son of a bitch is donating to us on Patreon. If you want to be a beautiful son of a bitch too, head to our website, follow the links. Hey guys, and welcome to this week's episode of Plumbing the Death Eaters, where we ask the important questions like, why are the Weasleys poor?

Because they got a lot of kids. That's a good point. Magic, you dumb motherfuckers. Child raising is hard. They have. Let's count the kids. All right. No, okay, let's do this.

Let's count the kids. Ron, Ginny, Fred George. That's four already. Bill. That's a lot of kids. Bill, that other one. Percy. Percy.

That's six. Yeah, but they ostracized Percy, so you don't want to worry about him at all. Bill. Bill. That other one. Percy. Percy. That's six. Yeah, but they ostracized Percy, so you don't want to worry about him at all. Percy and Bill in the start of the series already have jobs. Yeah, but that would have sapped some income early on, in the early days. Yeah, okay. Let's think about this. So they've got six kids. Yep.

Six kids to raise. Have you raised six kids, Dusha? No, I haven't. And only the dad works. The dad is working every day every night to raise six kids and probably own like a not even a great uh government job as well yeah yeah you're right you're right you're right in this situation makes perfect sense from to before if he wasn't a fucking wizard he's he's a wizard like okay all right even if he's not being an evil wizard just run of the mill everyday Joe

run of the mill everyday wizard Joe Slugwizzle or whatever Joe Q Wizard Joe Q Wizard Muggles just fucking you don't even need to rob them just cast any spell like a bamboozle spell

give us your money kiss put on a fucking magic show and be like, hey, Muggles, look, I bet you a million dollars I can fucking make something of you. Yes, because everyone's like, I bet you a million dollars I make this shot. You make this shot, you're like, you owe me a million dollars.

Someone's gonna have to take my, I'm putting my house up. That's law. Homeless. You said it. Oh, you know what that'd get you, Dusha? That'dusha imprisoned in wizard jail to Azkaban also the dad loves muggle things to the point where he enchants a flying car

like enchants a car so it can fly why not just get the highest paying muggle job since he fucking loves it that much you know what actually the fact that he makes a flying car kind of runs in the face of me like thinking about him being illegal, because surely that's not okay. It's 100% illegal.

Yeah, the Ministry of Magic, not happy with that. But there's a difference between enchanting... Did he get in trouble? I don't think he told... He doesn't tell anyone. No, but fucking... Actually, I got wrong. He flies that car.

Into a tree. That surely... Hogwarts is cool, but they're not that cool. They're not going to just keep Into a tree. That surely... Hogwarts is like cool, but they're not that cool. Like they're not gonna just keep that a secret. How much is tuition at Hogwarts? I feel it would be expensive. Surely they're not paying.

No, they're not paying. They're too poor. It's a public school? I think Hogwarts is like the wizard public school. Because what are you paying for? Do you know what? Do you know why it's a public school and why they don't care? Because they're all fucking wizards. Money means nothing to them. No, no, no.

Gold means something to them. They don't even have normal money. So, as I was saying previously, Arthur, get a job as a... Like, he loves muggle stuff. Yeah. Loves it. Go to London. Get a job at the bank and steal their gold?

No, just get a job at the bank. Okay, okay. So Arthur goes. Get a job at a bank and steal their gold? No, just get a job at the bank. Okay, okay. So Arthur goes and gets a job at the bank. Is he qualified? He could make it. Qualified to work at a bank. Let's just assume that he's fine, right? And then he's like, he's going to come to Hogwarts

and he's going to pay for tuition, right? With gold, not with money. Okay, okay. Then I'll be Gringotts Bank. I'll be a goblin. Okay. And you come in with your muggle cash. Okay, I'm going to come in.

Okay, I'm Arthur here. Yeah. I've thought this through. Hello. I bought gold with my cash, muggle gold, which is the same as wizard gold. This isn't doubloons. Where are the wizard money? Then he'd press a button and the cops would get you.

No, no, they wouldn't. Because they have, I mean, like, as an aside, the wizarding system of money is fucking retarded. Because it's not like a direct translation. It's like, not like dollars and cents. It's like dollars, cents, and some third thing. Because what is it? It's fucking like doubloons, some other bullshit,

and a middle one. So, but if you just came in with gold they're still going to be sus are you coming in with gold and then printing that I guess I mean I guess you could come in with gold and be like I want to turn this into you know doubloons but then you're going to have to give them a fee

so? those goblins are greedy I feel that they would cheat me the whole point of Gringotts is it's the most fair bank Those goblins are greedy. I feel that they would cheat me or in this case Arthur out of his money and then he'd be poor. Fair bank. You guys are dumb. Are there more banks? No, it's not the most fair. It's just a monopoly.

It's just the only bank. It's the only bank. How do we know no dragons are better at doing this shit? The dragons are at fucking Gringotts. Dragons don't even talk. We don't know that Yes we do

We definitely know that I think we know very well They just They just treat them like beasts They could be highly Elephants could talk How do we know that Elephants can't talk Joel?

That's a good question How do we know that Elephants can't talk? Because they're elephants Brain size We've Would have seen them talk Fucking

What do you call it? What's that bit in the brain That tells you How how to talk? Hypothalamus? Hypothalamus. It's not the hypothalamus. Frontal lobe. Nope, wrong again.

That's personality. We don't know where brains are. Middle brain. Middle brain. Middle brain. We know where brains are. The outer rim of the brain is the language centers. No, there's a thing.

Cerebral cortex. The spine. Is it down in the liver? Near my gut? Yeah. Is it the gut? That's why. Buttholes. All animals that don't have a liver, they can't talk. They don't have a liver, they can't talk properly. Point is, that Arthur Weasley can't pull some kind of

mad scheme to pay... He's gotta work a government job. Hang on, also... Arthur can't. Arthur can't because if he was pulling some wily schemes to make money, which means other wizards would, which would mean the value of any money would be nothing because we need people who are rich. We need people who aren't as rich.

And we need to kind of like pour this. Just for the wizard economy. No, no, no. You're 100% right. Why do wizards even need money? Hogwarts is free. Yeah, but. To buy wands and shit.

There's four jobs you can get in the wizarding world. Wait, no. Is Hogwarts free? Because Harry's like, oh fuck, I can't afford this bullshit. Harry's a billionaire! And then they're like, no man, Harry, you are a billionaire. Harry can't afford to go to Diagon Alley. He can afford Hogwarts.

I thought he couldn't afford books and shit. Yeah, at Diagon Alley. That's not Hogwarts! Do you understand He can afford Hogwarts. He's still going to pay for books and shit. I thought he couldn't afford books and shit. Yeah, at Diagon Alley. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's not Hogwarts. And I just figured his parents would be like... Do you understand the wizarding universe here? I understand the wizarding thing, but you don't know. Hogwarts isn't all of the wizards. I understand.

No. It's a school. Hogwarts isn't all... It's a school. It's a school. Hogwarts doesn't own Diagon Alley. I know that. I'm saying, did the parents already pay for his tuition before?

No. No. How did he do that? He would be freaking out about that as well if he's already freaking out about his books. He wouldn't know. He'd be like, holy shit, how do I pay for this? And Hagrid was probably like... It's free, Ari! Is government subsided?

It doesn't matter! Why? Because it's a public school. You're assuming that fucking wizard economy works like a normal economy which is not true in the slightest drumstick academy

that's the one is that like a better school no they're different locations drumstick is just Hogwarts is in London and no one has noticed

somehow so if I'm a parent of a wizard I just gotta be okay you've only got one fucking choice depending on where we are

living in location. That's stupid. Yeah, because did you notice the fact that... Okay, you want choice? Move. That's not a good choice. Yes, it is. You're a fucking wizard. You can teleport anywhere in the fucking world using a fireplace. Okay, good point. Flu powder. God. Flu powder.

Guys! Why do they use that more often? Why do they use flu powder to get to the school? Yeah You need to be a certain age To use it first of all Flu powder? Yes, second of all Why is there an age restriction?

It seems pretty easy You don't want to fuck up It happens in the fucking book as well He fucks up and like a leg goes missing. He becomes half a fly? Yeah, basically like the machine in the fly. Figured as much. Does that mean like, so if you got like the twin Weasleys

and you got them together, they fucked up. There's just one mega Weasley? There's a point where the Weasley family all flew powder somewhere. Would they just end up this hideous mess? You know, it's ginger mess flu powder again as an aside from how poor the weasleys are harry fucks up once and ends up inside like a fucking oven and shit flu powder is goddamn dangerous that's why there's an age restriction yeah i understand i understand and it doesn't like morph you in together it means that like

parts of you like if you don't use it i think you're thinking of apparating though apparating because ron apparates and gets splinged or something his arms all like fucked up and wrong no no flu powder yeah you're right about apparating that's right like you can fuck that up and be like stuck in a wall or something but with flu powder that's death shut up yes with flu powder you can like get sent to like two locations because it's like an elevator imagine being on a really quick elevator and you try and get off at one floor

but you're not quick enough I could just be like oh the fire's nearly out open it up and like half of Ron Weasley just pops out exactly I feel also that is death half of you probably. No, right?

Yeah, you would if you were a fucking wizard. Because Harry falls like a hundred feet, breaks literally every bone in his body, and they're like magic. Point is, point is, there's no way without committing a major crime that Arthur Weasley could make any amount

of money. No, you know what? You don't need money. You guys are assuming that the wizarding community works. And why is Weasley poor? You need money to buy food. Hang on. No you don't. Magic your crops. You can't magic food. You can magic your crops. Oh yeah, I guess you can magic your crops.

So they live on a fucking farm anyway. Why are we assuming that Weasley is poor? They have like a kick-ass house, great security system. Did you see Ron's fucking dress robes? Yeah. They're a piece of shit. But maybe they just hate their kids.

It's not about being poor. It's about practical. They're a poor family. We're not going to spend money on this bullshit. They're going to share rooms. Because we can't be bothered. They sound more lazy than poor. They are poor.

Ron gets a second hand literally everything. Yeah, that's just... Lazy. What about Ginny? She gets all new stuff. Yeah, but she's the youngest child. All the other kids are off. Youngest ones are often spoiled.

Plus, I'm assuming that they're getting some kind of income from Percy and whatever the other one's name is. No, not Percy, because he's like, fuck that family. Why do they hate Percy? What did Percy do? They hate Percy, don't they? No. Percy hates them?

No. What's the one that they hate? Percy hates them, apparently. I? No. Percy hates them? No. What's the one that they hate? Percy hates them, apparently. I'm pretty sure Percy hates them. He's like, I don't want to deal with this because I'm... Aren't they both Auroras? No, one tames dragons in Egypt or some bullshit. So surely that's making enough money.

You need money in the Wizarding World to pay for clothes. Wait, you're assuming they just hand me down clothes? Or they're just magicing thread? You can magic clothes. Brand names. They magic a broom to fly. everyone's going to laugh at Ron. Is that what you want? Everyone's going to be like, Ron, that's just a fucking dust broom.

Brooms are different. Shut up, guys. That was an awful Ron. Brooms are different. Nimbus. Nimbus, that's the cool one. Yeah, it's the cool one. I want to be cool.

Buy me a Nimbus, douche. Douche. Do you know how many people have a Nimbus in Hogwarts? As mentioned How many? Two Harry has a Nimbus 2000 And the following year Draco gets a Nimbus 2001 That's a really dumb way to number your brooms

It sure is because it's not like And it wasn't even set in 2000 was it? Nope Why was it called a Nimbus 2000? I think Was JK Rowling trying to imply that there had been 2000 1,000 and like 999 other brooms yes how awful must the nimbus one have been just shit plus there's not much you can improve on in a magic broom no i guess if you make it go faster

then you've already got an automatic head start. Like, it doesn't make sense. Why do you need brooms? Couldn't you just be like, I'm just going to pick up this, like, bit of stick and just ride back? Yeah, you're right. The wizarding community makes no sense whatsoever. You don't need money.

You do need money. You don't need money. What for? Exactly. What for? You don't need money. Why? Okay,. What for? You don't need money. Why? Okay, let's think about this. What does the average household spend money on?

In wizarding communities? In real life. Rent. Utilities. Clothes. Entertainment. Medical bills. Okay.

Wrist movement like you're a fucking magician about to do a trick. Entertainment. Entertainment. Medical bills. Medical bills. Okay. Like a little wrist movement, like you were a fucking magician about to do a trick. I am. Disappear. Watch your bullshit disappear. Okay, so house. Yeah, they would probably need to buy a house. They have a house.

You don't know that they own that? They could be renting it. They might have a landlord. They definitely mentioned it's their house. In fact, I'm pretty sure... Renovations. If I was a landlord, mentioned that it's they definitely mentioned it's their house in fact i'm pretty sure renovations if i was if i was what did we what the fuck happened to my beautiful two-bedroom apartment what did you do and she fucking mama weasley's like i couldn't help it i kept having kids use a condom are they catholic are the weasleys Catholic? They're wizards! There's no religion! Why not?

Why would they not be? Maybe Jesus was the first No, I just can see Maybe Jesus was a wizard Look at all these Even that aside, I can just see the Weasleys getting behind that kind of faith Like the Protestant kind of thing

What's like the no condom religion? They have way too many kids. They have six. Six kids is a lot of kids. Depends. Think about it. Depends on what? It depends on like time

and not how much free time you have. Like, oh, fucking... A six kid family is not that weird if you go back like like, 30 years. But we're not. Which we are. It's the 90s. Because fucking...

It's the 90s, dude. Yeah, you're right. It's the 90s. Let's go back to the 80s. Are you one of six? I'm not born in the 80s. I was born in the 80s. Am I one of six?

You're one of three. Yeah, exactly. Three's fine. Half six. Look out. It's 386, man. I'm just saying that probably that's what we've learned today all right so you get housing yeah right fair enough okay housing

house yeah fair enough but they renovated the fuck out of that house i'm pretty sure it's meant that they mentioned that they built it in all honesty it's probably like a family house probably will belong to either arthur or whatever the mom's name and it got magic the fuck out of so that it fits everything. Utilities? How are they paying for water? They don't need to. Why not?

Excuse me? Are they stealing water? They're magicing water? Magic? Crime. That's a crime. How is magic and water a crime? It genuinely is because I was curious about this. I was like, why can't you just magic food?

And I was chatting to somebody who's like a Harry Potter nut and they were like, yeah, it's illegal because when you magic food or water, you have to take it from somewhere because apparently in magic this is the only time where conversion of mass is a thing so it's a crime to magic food or water let's go to hogwarts here yeah the great hole yeah they magic food every fucking meal the fucking house elves magic it through the floor they're cooking day and night, Dusha That's dumb That was a giant plot of the house elves

What do you think, the house elves just lived under there? For fun? Scurrying through the walls, watching children sleep Pests Creepy pests So you can't magic food, cry If you lived near a river Or even the sea. Magic crops.

They live on a farm. You could magic a desalination and like, make it drinkable. Yeah, I guess. So you could rig something up so you could kind of get free. Yeah, magic water. Be like, ocean, glass of water. Salty water, death.

No! Ocean, glass of water, magic desalination. What an effort. Two fucking spells. Yeah, just spells, death. No! Ocean, glassy water, magic desalination. What an effort. Two fucking spells! Yeah, just spells, man. That's no effort. Spell is... Does casting a spell consume, say, energy? No. I think you're alright. I think you can do it as long as you like. No, you're fine.

Cause it just... do they get tired? Nah. The only thing that'll make them tired is the dumb hand movements they do. But then, it's also shown... It's also shown that you don't need to do that. No, no the only thing that make them tired is the dumb hand movements they do Don't need to do that they just do it cuz I think it looks cool It's hot most of the stuff in the wizard's community just like this fucking looks cool fucked No, it looks cool. We do these fancy like We do like we're riding brooms because we wear fucking rose because it looks cool I know we're not practical. It's the it looks cool. We wear fucking robes. We wear robes because it looks cool. I know. Robes are not practical. But I guess the thing about wizards is they're not going anywhere.

The whole wizarding world is dumb. Why does Harry wear glasses? Because there's no spell to fix eyes. But there's a spell to heal all of his broken bones and internal bleeding. Yeah, well, maybe you've got to make spells. Why didn't that juice thing that he drank to fix his bones... Fix his eyes. I don't know. Maybe it's like more permanent

damage. Or his scar. Maybe it's a genetic thing. Yeah. His scar's magic. You can't blame the scar. Actually, no, he's like, the scar is magic. It's not even really a scar. Maybe his blindness is a side effect of his... Fair enough. Of, you know, fucking... Voldemort, like, magics him and he's like, fuck, I'll see. Well, snakes have poor eyesight.

Harry is sort of a snake. And he has a bit of a snake thing in him so he can talk to snakes. That's why he sheds every other month. Yeah. Okay, so food, he's got to pay for food. I mean, maybe not crops and maybe somehow not water, but... Okay, fine. We'll say he pays for water.

Yep. He's got a job. He steals six kids. To pay for water. You gotta buy clothes for those six kids. No, you don't, Magic. You gotta water those kids as well. As you said earlier, the only time conversion of mass is a thing in the

Wizarding World is food and water, so Magic the fuck out of clothes. Who cares? You're stealing it from somewhere. Oh, you're not. It's not a crime, but you probably are stealing it from somewhere. Stealing it from what? The muggles? Yeah, like people wearing clothes. Just like magic some jeans on you and some guy giving

a speech somewhere. It's like, fuck. Who gives a speech in jeans? I do often. Motor oil competition. That was a wrong collection of words. Like, that's not a thing that happens. But you got there in the end.

Yeah, you knew it, man. But whatever. All right. Entertainment, though. You're spending money on entertainment. No, you're not. Yeah, you go into, like, a Triwizard tournament, and you go into, like, Quidditch matches and shit.

When they go to the Quidditch match, so. Like, the big stadiums. All of the Weasleys go there. All of them. All of them. Yep. All of them. That's a lot of money You have to probably work a long time To afford that

It's a lot of money and it's a lot of them not paying To go in He is paying because he loves his kids He probably took an extra shift a week That's why the mum's like I haven't seen you in like four weeks I don't know why we're doing that accent She's just Irish now

I'm actually trying to think of evidence that I know I've been pro-poor Weasleys this whole episode but I'm actually having trouble thinking of actual evidence No, not of that, just of poorness

I told you, they're not poor We're just assuming they're poor because he's got like a shitty... No, but Ron's like, yeah, I'm poor. Sure he says it. He's jealous of Harry's money. Yeah. But you wouldn't, you'd be if you're jealous of some guy who's got like a billion dollars.

Because Ron gets dress robes, right? Yeah. But he gets gay frilly dress robes. Yeah. That were bills or purses or something. And the thing is like... Okay, they were hand-me-downs. No, no, no.

They're just dicks. Then they're hand-me-downs, he was like... No, no, no. They're just dicks. Then they're hand-me-downs but it's also like it's tradition. Right? I'm also confused to why when he gets second-hand clothes he doesn't just magic them to be fixed or to be better. I think he uses scissors or some bullshit.

Wizards are so dumb. I don't think he's poor. I just think they're set in their ways. They want tradition. So it's not about them being poor. It's just them having poor choices. Sure. When does it say that? Does it ever say they're poor?

Yeah, Ron says he's poor. Yeah, Ron says he's poor. And Arthur's like, I work so much. But he could be like, I'm poor. And he could be like, I work so much. And Harry's like, you fucking piece of shit. You are not poor. You've got a house.

You're a house owner. You own your own car that also flies. Why doesn't Harry buy a house? Why does he keep living under the... Why does he just live by himself? Because there's a projection of the spell that Voldemort can't get him if he's living in the Dursleys. That is so dumb.

Just put the same spell... I don't know why they're not like, okay, we're going to get the Dursleys out of there and put some wizard foster parents in there. People that don't treat a kid like shit. Like, surely when Harry comes to Dumbledore and he's like, well done, Harry, for fucking defeating the

giant snake, Harry should be like, cheers Dumbledore. Also, as an aside, I'm basically, like, physically abused by my, the Dursleys. What can we do here? I live in a shoe cupboard. Can I live at Hogwarts? And Dumbledore's like, no, no.

Hogwarts is under the same spell. Yeah, right? This is so dumb. And they have places where you sleep because they're there for a whole term. I'm pretty sure some kids stay there. You could just be like, let's stay there. Yeah, I know. Kids do stay there over the summer holidays. I'm pretty sure some kids stay there. They could just be like, let's stay there. Kids do stay there over the summer holidays. I don't know

why Harry doesn't. I think he's got Stockholm? Probably Stockholm. So is Ron just lying about being poor? Is Ron lying about being poor and is Harry lying about hating the Dursleys? Yes. No, Ron I think is more he's poor in his eyes to other wizards who don't have

this weird bullshit sense of tradition where everything must be brand spanking new and keeping with the times. I just don't think mum and dad Weasley... She knits them rad jumpers and shit. They're not very appreciative. Why doesn't she magic them?

Something to do? A hobby? She's just a housewife. She is a wizard who kills someone with a spell. That's pretty badass. Yeah, but later on... She kills someone with a spell, so she's at least adequate. And just a housewife? Well, I mean, just a housewife? You piece of shit, Jackson.

Well, I don't know why, because none of her fucking kids are at home. What's she doing all day? And when you see her house, it's a fucking mess. Is it a mess, or is just sort of like untidy? I think it might just be untidy. It's like homely. They're pretty much just a messy family that doesn't put a lot of

importance on family values, being together. Yeah, that's what they care about more than... Percy's like, fuck you family. Percy's a cunt. The Wizarding World, I always had an issue with, but I never realized how fucked maybe not so much. I don't know. Percy's a cunt. Whatever. The Wizarding World, I always had an issue with, but I never realized how fucked it was until today.

Nothing makes sense about it. JK Rowling, fuck you. No, it's not. It's just, it's all about, I think, just keeping up with appearances. That only explains one thing. Why does Harry wear glasses? Keeping up with appearances?

With who? With himself. The Dursleys hate him, and they're the only muggle. Maybe he likes how he looks. Okay, like being blind, whatever, I can deal with. I don't know why he doesn't just buy... Like, you know his glasses break? Yeah.

Just put some tape here. Buy new glasses, you're a millionaire. Also, then someone magics them anyway. Maybe he's humble, man. He's humble. He doesn't want to brag about his money. You know? No, no, no, but when he's on the train, he's like, I'll fucking have

all of the wizarding treats, and Ron's like, fuck you. That's true, he does brag with the money there. Man. Harry's a dick. He just, yeah, he doesn't buy, like, good things. Like, he doesn't buy a house. Because he wants everyone to feel sorry for him. Yeah. He just buys, like, candy, so he's like, love me, love me.

Huh. Look how poor, like, look how bad my life is. I gotta keep showing up, Ron. I have no parents, and I have a scar. Bitch, bitch, bitch. I think Ron's parents just want to, like, instill a sort of humbleness on him. Like, I reckon the reason he's not buying all the cakes is that they just didn't give him the money for it. They probably had it.

I reckon they do. Where do the fucking Fred and George twins get the money to start up their sweet company you know yeah they started a successful business at the very least it's diagonally which is the wizarding like cbd pretty much it's not like it's in hogsmeade or some bullshit like that it's in diagonally is it only like only like one sort of wizard CBD it just seems like they're oh yeah no it's a lot of alleys because Diagon Alley becomes Nocturne Alley just think of like a

Diagon Alley I understood all of those already when I read them the first time fuck you I didn't I guess there's actually it's not that there's no reason For the Weasleys to be poor It's just that they're not

Poor at all Nope, that's what I've been saying Fuck Well, I've been Joel I've been Jackson And I've been the angry Joel And Rod's been a piece of shit ingrate Jesus Christ man, you're not that poor. You're not even poor.

Get some perspective, buddy. Fuck you. You at least have your parents. I know. What a cunt. Hey, if you enjoyed Plumbing the Death Star, you should check out our sister show, Shut Up a Second. Let's get your two favourite boys. Me and Jackson. Sort of like Plumbing the Death Star, but without the dead weight.

Oh, you mean me? Hmm. Rude. Fuck off, Joel. Anyway, as I was saying, search for Shut Up A Second on iTunes and Stitcher. We look forward to being in your ear holes soon.