Plumbing the Death Star - You Are Pa Kent. How Are You Gonna Teach Superman a Lesson with that Tornado?

Episode Date: August 13, 2023

Our son’s talking back but thankfully we have the power of tornado to teach him a lesson! From ‘be careful of ‘nados’ to ‘the hierarchy of things to save’, we leave no stone unturned in our quest to finally teach our boy a worthwhile lesson (while also dying valiantly to a tornado). So pat that Dog Kent on the head, keep cows away from Boy Kent and no matter what, get Ma Kent to the underpass while I, Pa Kent, teach you a life lesson in a very unique and interesting way.Buy our terrible merch here and check out the Bad Brain Boys+ on our website or Apple Podcasts at apple.co/badbrainboys. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Ahem. Ahem. You're listening to the Sandspantz Network. Hey everyone and welcome to this week's episode of Plumbing the Death Star. I'm Joel. I'm Jackson. I'm also Joel. This is the podcast where we ask the important questions like, You are Park Hentz.

I am. How are you going to teach Superman a lesson with that tornado? So we rewatched the death of Park Kent from Man of Steel. Yeah, 2013's Man of Steel. We were watching a compilation of Dad's dying in movies. I mean, came across that one, we're like, oh yeah! Oh yeah, that was a fucked up weird scene. So to,

like, just jog everyone's memories. Yeah, because some people might have forgotten how Pa Kent dies. Ma Kent, Pa Kent,

and Boy Kent. And Dog Kent. And Dog Kent. Actually, Dog Kent's important. Yeah, that's true. In the car,

driving to, we don't know, because we didn't watch the whole movie, we just watched this scene. Maybe they're going to go pick up groceries? Yeah, we don't know. because we didn't watch the whole movie, we just watched the scene. Maybe they're going to go pick up groceries? Are they driving? I think they know a tornado is coming to Smallville.

Are they going through the tornado? No, it's a surprise tornado. Oh, yeah, one of those famously massive surprise NATOs. NATOs do sort of suddenly appear a bit. Yeah, maybe not to that extent. I don't know. Yeah, we don't live in NATO country. It's just wind.

Yeah. But you know, like, when you check the weather. I don't know. Yeah, we don't live in NATO country. It's just wind. Yeah. But you know, like, when you check the weather. Wind's always happening. You know when you check the weather and it's like, oh, today's gonna be windy. Oh, that's true. Today's gonna be NATO heavy. Yeah. Fair enough.

Fair enough. Brace for NATO. How do NATOs form? I'm sorry for asking this question. Two differing wind pressures, air pressures collide. Or is that how storms happen? Fuck. Isn't it a warm high pressure front hitting a low cold pressure front?

There's also a tornado alley. What the fuck is that? In America. It's like a strip of land. Where it's like, oh, there's NATOs coming. NATO heavy. It's funny they built San Fran on a crack in the earth. It's pretty funny. Gotta put a city somewhere. city somewhere Why not put it in Earthquake City

So when a tornado does form Is it like a little like Is it kind of like a snowball Gathering mass to eventually become Big Or is it just like a Fine fine sunny sunny Haha bam

I think they do build up We're from Australia Is it just a fine, fine, sunny, sunny, ha-ha, bam! NATO. No, I think they do build up. We're from Australia. Occasionally, it just... What do we have? Oh, yeah. Occasionally, our country just catches fire. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Because our gum trees are full of flammable poison. And they're like, well, the only way we can reproduce gum tree-wise is in fire. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, there's certain seeds in this beautiful country of ours that, like, well, the only way we can reproduce gumtree-wise is in fire. Yeah, exactly. There's certain seeds in this beautiful country of ours that we only open when it's real hot. And by hot, I mean on fire. Is it a thing where at some point in the past we gave California a bunch of gumtrees but didn't tell them that they catch fire? That's the thing I feel like I read somewhere. The first wildfire happened in California

and they were like, what the fuck? The trees are blowing up! Oh, sorry! Yeah, they'll do that. Sorry, dude, we should have said. Our trees are bombs! Oh, you didn't know that! Sorry, mate. Don't go back, fire opens the scene!

You didn't know this. This is actually good. Yeah, you need the fire to... It's bad, you say. That's like if America was like, here's some trees. And we were like, that's great. Then 40 years later, a tornado has erupted out of the... Yeah, they're NATO trees.

That's normal. High winds. I love it. That's insane. Hey, that's trees. Install the Statue of Liberty and there's a tidal wave of France. Like, yeah, it just does that. Yeah, that's part of the metal, dude.

You never used copper before? No. We did. So, Big Man of Steel, Park Kent and Mark Kent and Boy Kent and Dog Kent are driving either away from a tornado or to the shops. I'm fairly certain they're just, it's a bit of a surprise. It's a shock Yeah, all look shocked the tornado is forming. Yeah, but I think they're driving up Driving away from it. They go to it. Yeah

Look it's NATO day. Maybe they knew maybe they didn't know we can't say having an argument in the car Because Parkins like boy can't be a farmer boy can't like no i'm meant for better things i could do more than that and park hens like five generations of farmers in your family disagree yeah you think farming's unimportant yeah then boy can't like well actually i'm not in your family i'm just a boy you found in a field yeah i'm from space so rude thing to say to the people that are so rude to his dad. Then Ma Kent's like, oh! Yeah.

And Pa Kent's like, it's okay. And Dog Kent's like, woof, woof. He's right. And Boy Kent's like, humph. Yeah.

Humph. Then, Nato appears on the horizon. Pa Kent, they get out of their car. To look at the Nato. Yeah, to do some Nato gazing.

Yep. And then Pa Kent's like, actually, this is fucked up. Superman, sorry do some NATO gazing. And then Park Kent's like, actually, this is fucked up. Superman. Sorry, Kent boy. Get your mother under. Kent, take your mother under the bridge.

Yeah, go to the underpass because that's safe. Yeah. Safest place in a tornado. We're not turning the car around. We're just going to go stand under a bridge. Exactly. So quickly Googled, do tornadoes just come dot out of nowhere? And Google was like, did you mean tornadoes?

And I went, yeah. Tornado is an awesome word. Yeah. Tornado is also a mysterious phenomenon that is quite difficult to predict. It comes from nowhere and goes nowhere. What website is that? Guys who do not know science.com. Rainviewer.com. We don't know where fire

comes from. If things get too hot, it turns up. Yeah. Huh? Sometimes rain is ice. What the fuck? Tornadoes remain deadly and relatively unpredictable. So relatively is carrying We cannot. Tornadoes can appear quickly without time

for a tornado warning or siren. So I think they can just pop off. What the fuck? Nader's just behind me happening. Guys, do you live near a tornado? Get out! This is crazy news. You could just wake up one day

and your house gets Nader-ed. You could be in a Nader. I also think Nader's aren't typically as hectic as the one shown in Man of Steel. Very possibly. Anyway, Nato hits. Cars have crashed. Everyone's panicking and running away to the overpass. Pa Kent is

like, no, you take your mother to the overpass. I'm going to help this little baby out of a car. Then they realize Dog Kent, which is fun to say because it kind of sounds like you're saying Dog Kong. Dog Kent has remained trapped in the car Yeah, yeah, and so Superman is like well I'll go get it and it's that's like no take your mother under the bridge at this point when we're watching the scene

We thought okay. We know Park ends about to die from NATO. He's gonna cop one of those world-famous NATO deaths Yeah, but and we're like he says something like it's not when great power comes great power comes great responsibility But it's something I'll listen here here but no he holds up his hand yeah shakes his head kind of like you know when someone's like throws to you like to do a speech or something or like if the waiter is like oh would you like me to top up your wine no no no uh then he opens the car to help dog out the dog scared so dog hides and then he has to climb into the car to help dog and then nado shuts the car to help Dog out, but Dog's scared, so Dog hides, and then he has to climb into the car to help Dog, and then Nado shuts the car door on his foot, breaking

his ankle, I think. Yeah. Then Dog gets out of the car. Dog chuffs it. Dog loyalty! Dog Ken doesn't care. It lives up to its name. Yeah, that's true. Park Kent gets out of the car and yeah, this is the moment Superman does the little, like, I'm gonna come save you, and his dad's like, let me true. Park Kent gets out of the car, and yeah, this is the moment. Superman does the little, like, I'm going to come save you,

and his dad's like, let me die. Yeah. And then, so first of all, before we explore what lesson we teach, what lesson did he teach? Being a farmer is not, it's hard. Sometimes you've got to let your dad get NATO'd. Like, I think the lessons are kind of, there's a couple. One was just kind of like, you know, we, I understand you're angry.

Don't be rude to your mother. Yeah. Well, yes. I understand that you don't think that we did a good job raising you but we did the best that we could right yeah so it's kind of like you know and you see this with like a lot of people like hey you know your parents are just people yeah exactly they're not perfect they're gonna make mistakes yeah and look and that that was a kind of a nice little lesson it was like hey we are people and we did our best and maybe that just wasn't good enough to raise a super baby. Sometimes our mistakes are standing in a tornado. That was not maybe a lesson, but

a nice conversation from a father or father. Look, we did our best. It wasn't perfect, but we did our best. But he didn't. Not a lesson. Is that illustrated with the tornado? Then it was like, okay, so farming is important. You think you can save the world. Farming is important because that's how you feed a population.

And he's like, no, I want to do good. And this is like, okay, could Superman do better just moving a crank, generating energy so that we can move towards very efficient energy as opposed to- Nuclear power. Yeah. As opposed to doing what Superman does. Superman's punching atoms. Yeah.

That might be how you make a nuke, I don't know. It is separating atoms. No, but I'm punching atoms right now. Yeah, but you're not splitting the atom. Can we talk about my form? It's bad. It's upsetting to look at. Really?

One is like a hammer that comes down, and the others are sort of limp, thrust forward. Yeah. You punch like someone who's getting bullied trying to fight back. One is like a hammer that comes down and the others are sort of limp, thrust forward. You punch like someone who's getting bullied trying to fight back. Leave me alone! Yeah, and it's not working. I would call it more of a flail. Yeah.

I'm going to get a teacher! You're slapping with your wrist. My fist shouldn't be so floppy. And if you're sort of slapping with a closed fist. Go away. People also, when they're punching, don't typically just go left, right, left, right, left, right, like that. You are also not protecting your face.

I'm going either side. Yeah. Just leaving yourself open. Yeah, yeah. It's good. Jam, motherfucker, jam. If somebody was in front of me, I would be punching one shoulder or just pass their head. Then hammering the other shoulder.

Your towels are very obvious. You could dodge that. I actually don't think I need to move to dodge. Well, with the... Do we do it again? Yeah, the hammer fist also could easily, I think, just be stopped by whoever you're fighting and just holding

their arm up. It's not great. Also, you're right-handed, right? Why does when you're throwing your right arm it look like there is like zero power whatsoever? Stop the cycle you're doing. Throw your right hand first.

Okay. It's like you're cracking a whip. I'm using my fist like a flail. Pay attention to his first punch. And keep going. Okay. Initially, before, he was doing it where it was actually straight

on or whatever. But now it has become a closed fist slap. He's trying to claw out someone's eyes with a closed fist. I'm going nuts! Like, get back! I guess a takeaway mess, if you want to try and mug Jackson, it's very easy.

Weapons not required. Don't move and then punch me in the face. You're also very open for just like, just a jab in the belly. Yeah. I protect no part of me. Yeah. And often no danger in return.

Yeah, that's good. It's like one of those classic no defense, all no offense situations. That's my strategy. Yeah, walk at the park, really. Yeah. And you wore yourself out, so no insurance either. I'm bothered. There's like, you know, the teacher lesson of

farm and then there's like, you know, you do the whole production chain. Sure, yeah. Farming is important. It's how, you know, armies are fed. That's the kind of thing.

It's like, you do need farmers. So that's one lesson. The other lesson, get your mom to the overpass. Protect your mother. Yeah. But none of these messages have any relation to the tornado.

No. These are messages he says, then he kills himself. Yeah. That's what happens. If I was Superman. Because family is important also isn't the message. Because if family is important, don't get sucked up by a tornado. Dogs are important.

Okay, maybe. Love thy dog. All right. Okay. How about this? So we didn't say anything. Actions speak louder than words. And my father's action was to be killed dog? All right, okay. How about this? So we didn't say anything. Actions speak louder than words. And my father's action was to be killed.

No, no, no. Go, go, go. Take a step back. Okay, okay. His father's action was to throw himself into danger. Because he's doing the best he can. Doing as best he can. He saves a kid.

Right. And then he saves a dog. And then he kills himself with a tornado. But obviously, and this is the obvious part of... Buying, saving the kid would make more sense. Life is sacred. Any life is sacred, including dog.

Dog lives matter. Yeah. But when... So obviously he doesn't want... A motto that cops do not like. They do not. They do not like that message. Cops shoot dogs with such a high frequency.

They really do. And not even just like a regular dog. They shoot cop dogs too. Dogs that are on their side. Not even criminal dogs. They love to shoot criminal dogs, civilian dogs, cop dogs.

Any dog they find. They love to shoot a dog. There's so many stories of them going to the wrong house. Oh, yeah. And just killing a dog. This terrifying dog came up to me. His tongue lolling out of its mouth. Wagging its tail.

I think it was full of fentanyl, dude. I dropped a grenade in the front yard. Do you reckon if you got a dog? Some people train dogs to protect a grow crop or whatever. You do have criminal dogs. Yeah. And then you have dogs that are policemen. Yeah.

If you got those two dogs together, would they know to fight? No. Or would they just play? They'd play. That's nice. Here's a huge, I reckon cop dogs are trained to be nice to no one. Oh, yeah. Criminal dogs too, to be honest.

But here's the thing. I think that in my head, due to popular culture, the worst type of dog is a junkyard dog. They go for balls. That's scary. And bum. Yeah, chopper, sick, well, depends. Because if it's a cartoony movie,

they're just going to bite the seat of your pants, revealing your hard underwear. But if it's a coming-of-age movie, you're going to be scared for your nutsack. In that movie, Stand By Me, they're scared that, you're going to be scared for your nutsack. In that movie, Stand By Me, they're scared that their nuts are going to get bitten off by a dog. Scary. But then their nuts do

get bitten by a leech. Huh. Makes you think. Do you think the leech knows? Do you think a leech is like, bald blood is different to regular blood? I believe bald blood probably is different to regular blood. Why? I couldn't say. The leech is going to be a bit of cum? Or like a bit of proto-cum?

Well, I think we've said this on some podcasts before, but blood and cum are similar. So a leech probably could live on cum. Just attached to the vas deferens?

Yeah. This is my cum leech is what we could say. So if you... Okay. A leech on the hole of your penis and then you jizz. A leech on the hole of your penis. And then you jizz. Yeah.

You cannot come back from that. I filled a leech with cum. So if you had, like, so cut your scrotum open. Oh yeah, that's good. This feels good to talk about. And then we just like, wiggle the leech in there. Yeah. And attach it directly onto the testy. Yeah.

And we sewed it back up. Uh-huh, cool. Yeah, that's awesome. That's awesome to think about. I love this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is great. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

If I was listening, I would keep listening. I'd say I love this Superman podcast. So, okay, I've got a leech in my nuts. Attached straight to the testy. What happens to the leash what what do you mean like can it survive

don't worry about the leash what happens to me oh yeah yeah yeah pain I'm assuming excruciating and bad the leash probably has a delicious meal

of nut blood and dies of old age yeah grows big yeah oh you'd have fat nuts yeah one fatter than the other

Yeah Cause you know the whole Like the goat testicle Insertion thing I'm gonna stop you Oh wait actually I was gonna say The moment you said

Goat testicles I was gonna be like I'm gonna stop you here No Goat testicle insertion Sadly yes Yeah To make you more virile

Back in the day It was like a thing In the 1930s or something They used to sew a knot A goat knot Open up your scrotum Surgically And then just plop in A goat testicle And sew it up again And it's just very funny It was like a thing in the 1930s or something. They used to sew a goat knot. Yeah, they opened up your scrotum surgically and then just plop in a goat testicle

and sew it up again. And it's just very funny because the first person to do it knocked up his wife. So it had to have worked. Goat baby. I'm sad I wasn't like... Leeches.

It's so crazy that in the past when a human-goat hybrid was seen as Satan. Yeah, that's true. But still, you're going to put a... Well, I guess it wasn't that far. It was the 1930s. You know, people may be less superstitious. Unless you want to be, you know,

you want to knock up your wife. You want to have good cum. Yeah, you want to have great cum. World War I's happened, so you're probably like, I don't believe in anything anymore. Put a goat nut in here. Dude, who cares?

I was in the trenches. Yeah, so could the leech live off that testicle, or would it have to then latch on to, say, the inside of your scrotum with the blood vessels? I think there's... Hey, question for you, Zalman. It's just a question as a friend. Why is it in my nuts?

If all you wanted to know is, can a leech survive on the inside of skin, why did you pick testicles? I was talking because would it latch on and be sucking off the testicle? Or would it be like, I can't survive off this and then go to someone with his blood? I don't know, dude. I don't know what leech.

I don't think the science is out. If you're a scientist, biologist? If you're, like, a nut scientist or a leech scientist. What kind of scientist would have this question? You're the equivalent of a mad scientist, but for nuts. Let me know. Can you tell us? Because I guess you could, like, say, you know, cut off your skull.

Right. Like, the top of it, and, like, took your head, you know, the whole, like... And put a leech on your brain? And you put a leech on your brain, I guess the leech would be like, sweet! Think of leech thoughts, yeah, cool. No, because the leech think man thoughts. You'd make one clever leech. And one dead man.

Surely someone's had leeches on their brain before from when people thought the leeches purified blood or something. Well, maybe back in the day. You know we used to trepan ourselves? Yeah. Maybe back then. Like put a leech down there? Because if you trepan your head.

You get the spirits out. Well, yeah, exactly. Release some of that freaking pressure. Trepanning, for people who don't know, is we used to cut a hole in the back of our skull because our brains were too Yeah, it's a full of spirits. So you cut that open it. Oh relaxes your brain gets rid of some of that tight Yeah, you know those bad thoughts. I don't know but we've been doing it for a long time

Yeah, this is like our like was also just like a fashion thing by packet like like ten years Yeah, oh like sales prehistoric man was doing a dude like I Think cuz it was must kind of work. I think because it was just kind of, it relieves the pressure. Do you reckon it's just the breeze feels good on your brain? No. I think it was more of like either,

what's the one where your brain swells? Oh, yeah, yeah. Brain swelling? Something for lightness. S-encephalus? Encephalitis? Yeah, something like that, yeah. Like maybe there was just like,

well, it's swelling, and so we do that. Or like a tumor that's like growing, and oh, it's got somewhere to grow a bit. And like accidentally worked a little bit. Yeah, maybe. Or it was one of those things we do a bit of a hole, like, nothing bad happened. It didn't get worse. Yeah.

So. It's crazy to just. Having a brain tumor and therefore cutting a part of your head off so the tumor can grow out of your head is crazy. That's very fucked up. Yeah. It's been a disturbing episode of Flumming and Ed Star. Anyway, the lesson I think I would teach is be careful of tornadoes.

Oh, yeah. The most basic of lessons. I would be like, as I'm waving, I'm like, tornadoes will do this. You need to be wary of them. And then sucked up into the tornado. And then hopefully my boy with superpowers can stop the Nato's or, you know, promote... Superman probably could, like, suck in the tornado.

Suck it in? Okay. Yeah, he's got super lungs. He could huff that Nato. He could huff a Nato pretty easily. Vape that Nato, brother. Superman vapes the Nato's for me, his dad, you know? And he promotes, like, tornado safety, too, I think, as well.

Yeah. Surprisingly, he didn't do that, to be honest. As in, like, Superman, after that, because any lesson that he takes, it's not like a Ben Parker situation where he's like, I'm going to take exactly what happened. Superman really has to figure it out himself. You're right. These lessons of the heart.

He doesn't. Because he sees Pa can't sacrifice himself to save child and dog. Yeah. That's great. Because he sees Pa can't sacrifice himself to save child and dog. Yeah. That's great. Because he's like, but the thing is, though, he was already wanting to do that. Yes. Because he was kind of like, I saved those kids in the bus.

And he's like, you should have let him drown. But not me. I can do it. And then he's like, yeah, don't save people. Except for me, I'm going to save people. Well, I guess. So when I save people as Parkhand, it means something because I can die. Yeah.

Whereas if you save someone. It means nothing because it's not hard. It's not hard for you. You don't die. There's no risks. In fact, you're a big loser. Here's what I reckon. I think Parkhand had just had that conversation with his son.

Yeah. Where his son was like Me me me me me me me me And Park Kang was like Fuck this boy Yeah you know what Fuck my life Being a farmer does suck

I think he was standing there The tornado was coming And he was like I could probably get my boy To save me But I'm sick of this And so he just He just let it happen

Or is this like Like so where maybe What if it was a test Did he pass No So I was like What if this is like A? Did he pass? No. So I was thinking, what if this is a way of the filmmaker? Again, we're part of the problem of bad media literacy. Yeah, bad faith takes.

So it's kind of like, so in this scene, what was meant to happen. Ding, sin. Sing him a sin. Oh my God, sing him a sin. What was actually meant to happen here, the takeaway message is, it's not that Park Kent was teaching Superman a lesson But that Superman taught Park Kent a lesson I won't save you, you dog No, no, no, no

Be nice to me Because in that whole thing He's like, I want to do better I want to be more than just a farmer I want to kind of save people That was the conversation he was having And then Park Kent was like What's wrong with just being a farmer?

You know, we just try to do our best You know, to raise you and that kind of stuff. And then so like in times gone by, Park would have been like, fuck that dog, Kent. Yeah. Whereas now he's like, Superman has changed me. And I'm inspired by Superman. And I'm going to sacrifice myself. But then why did...

Put myself in danger. You're also forgetting one little part of Park Kent's speech where he says, what's wrong with being a farmer and helping people? Yeah. Which also doesn't really make sense because Superman wants to help people and Parken's like, why don't you just want to help people? The only lesson he can really be teaching him is don't ever show people that you have powers when you're not in costume. Which is kind of what he tries to get across.

With his little head shake. Yeah. He doesn't have a costume at this point anyway. Yeah. But he's basically being like, if you reveal that you're special, the government will take you. Yeah. If you think you're basically a devil child. But it's crazy that in this scenario, the man who could survive a tornado, because Superman didn't have to use his superpowers to do what Park Kent did.

Yeah. He would have just been... I mean, look, when the tornado flew away and Superman stood up fine, people would be like, it's a miracle. Yeah. But he couldn't. Man survives NATO, which is like a thing you could probably read on some articles of a fluke, a miracle. I'm sure people survive NATO.

I landed on a soft bit of grass. Yeah. Because you could have just gone like... Landed on a horse. Rode that horse back to town. Yeah. Like, yeah, run through just gone like, land it on a horse. Road that horse back to town. Like, yeah, run through to the car,

save the dog very easily. Yeah. And then either throw the dog back or run, you know, run towards the underpass or it gets picked up

by like the NATO and like, I will ride this and I'll be flung, you know, quotation marks there onto like a nice hay stack. Oh,

what are the odds? Well, I survived. I broke an arm, though. And Step Park Kent was like, nope, I will die in front of my boy. You look after your mother. I'm sick of this shit.

I hate my family. What if... Oh, fuck. I just remembered that in Batman v Superman, Mark Kent's like, don't save those filthy sacks of shit, people. Let them all fucking burn to the ground. Well, yeah, because she's bitter, man. She just all fucking burn to the ground. She's bitter, man.

She just saw her husband get fucking NATO. Hey, you ever seen your husband kill themselves with a tornado? I have. It changes a person. Fuck you and fuck people. Yeah. I watched my husband. Love of my life. The person I'd spent how many fucking years? He didn't even try

and run. Yeah, he was limped over like a broken but he had to have adrenaline. I've seen mothers pick up cars with adrenaline and this piece of shit. He took four steps. To be like, yeah, he naded himself when I know that my boy over there, he's very fast

and invulnerable. He could have saved him and he fucking did him. I would hate both my husband and my boy a bit. I'd only love my dog in that scenario. But your dog killed your husband. That's true. The dog was less scared. Yeah. Just got out

when the door opened. Husband would have survived. Everyone's alive. Car wouldn't have landed on him. Yeah, exactly. Dog is the real villain of Man of Steel. Maybe that's the message I was trying to teach. Dog suck! Is that what lesson you teach Superman? Well, your lesson of what? Be careful of tornadoes.

Just like tornado safety is important. This is the dangers of tornadoes. So your plan is, you're Pa Kent. You get the tornado. I hate my boy. And then you just step in. You say, hey. I almost said Peter.

That's what his name is. Hey, Clark. Oh, yeah. Hey, Peter. Peter almost said Peter. That's what his name is. Hey, Clark. Oh, yeah. Hey, Peter. Peter. What? Remember Family Guy. Maybe that's my line.

Hey, Peter. Remember Family Guy? I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Clark. Jonathan's been watching a lot of reruns of Family Guy recently. He loved Kool-Aid Man. Remember Family Guy? Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. Oh, no. Oh, no. Lucky Man? Remember Family Guy? Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah! Oh, no! Oh, no! Lucky there's a family guy. Lucky there's a man here. It seems today, son, that all you see is violence and... Fuck! Whoa!

My dad died misremembering the Family Guy intro. That's how I want to die. All you see is violence and sex on movies and TV. Wait, that's not... What lesson does Superman take there? My dad was a fucking idiot. Some deaths don't need to be mourned.

Some deaths don't matter. If that was the last thing he heard on the drive back with Mark Hunt, do you think they'd talk? Or would they sit in a sort of stony silence? I'd be like, hey, Clark, I noticed that Jonathan said something before he got taken up. You got super hearing. Did you hear what he said? Yeah, he said, no, he didn't say anything.

He said, I love my mom, is what he said. Yeah, he said he loved you. I mean, I love my wife, you, your mom, my mom, you know what I mean. I love Mark, I mean, I love, what's his name again? Martha, Martha, I love my mom. That's what he said. Yeah, you said he loved you. I mean, I love my wife. You. Yeah. Your mom. My mom. You know what I mean. I love Martha. I mean, I love... What's he naming it?

Martha. Martha. I love Martha. Yeah. Not you, mom. But... I love you too, mom. Yeah.

Yeah. That's not what it sounded like. It sounded like he was singing. No. Yeah, he sung the... He sung it. He sung it. I love you, Martha.

All you see... All you see what? Sorry. I mean, I love you, mom. Martha. And then you go and he goes on like Park Ant's computer and it's just like every... I love you Martha, all you see is a- All you see what sorry? I mean I love you mom Martha And then you go and he goes on like Parkhands computer And it's just like every season of Family Guy downloaded and like logs of each episode Yeah yeah yeah yeah on the desktop there's like Family Guy memes but in subfolders Yeah, he's got a folder

Like quagmire Stewie memes Quagmire memes What the fuck? What the hell's my dad been doing? I would be so curious about Chris memes. Black Maya memes. I can picture that.

Stewie memes. I get Meg memes. I'm there. Peter memes. Great stop-death guy memes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What the fuck does a Chris meme look like? Oh, man.

Going through your dad's computer, seeing nothing but family. I'm like, I wish you were into hardcore BDS fucking porn that I had to delete and hide from the family. This is more confusing. Full on like he's written out scripts of episodes. Did he download? No, these are typed. He did this himself.

These are dictated. And then like you click through and there's like a family album, but he's like Photoshopped you all to look like members of the family guy cast. I think my dad might have gone a very unique kind of insane. Do you find anything on the computer and you just shove it off the desk into a bin? No. The hard drive. No, it doesn't. It's actually broken.

There's nothing on here. So sad. Hey, did dad like Family Guy? I don't think so. No, I've never seen him watch it right not once you know like a little episode you saw it watch together no I think so you watch family guy yeah mom no really really my cup of tea I like the days of our lives and the young and the restless yeah yeah yeah not just that with you, yeah? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And not just sneak off and watch family. Yeah, there's like no time where dad could have been watching TV and you're not there. No, he was running the farm and then we'd watch days of our lives and young and the restless. Maybe a bit of Bold and the Beautiful. Sitting on the tractor watching family go on his phone. Classic Joe.

Yeah, that's a lesson I'd teach my boy that I was a very unique kind of insane hey Peter fair enough hey Peter cause like cause yeah teaching

like say tornado safety like that's something he probably would've learned anyway living in Kansas that's true so it's like

I already knew dad yeah I already knew dad shut up and then I die. Just remembering Family Guy. That's what I'll teach him. Well, that's sad because he watched so many episodes of Family Guy and wrote his own Family Guy episodes, but still in his final moments forgot how the theme song

goes. That's a tragic death. Were there original Family Guy scripts on these computers? Yeah, I think he'd written some himself. Family Guy fan fiction. At that point, I think he'd written some himself. Family Guy fan fiction. At that point, maybe you then would have a Clark Kent who's like, maybe I gotta get these made? Yeah, this episode where Peter meets Bob

from Bob's Burgers. The world needs it. Archer's there too. Whoa. Well, they gotta hate John Benjamin. Might as well, dude. I guess you'd have a Clark Kent to be like, Oh, no.

Or would he really dislike Family Guy because he thought it sort of maybe ruined his dad's life. Something really ruined because it was a secret chain. That's true. Because no one else knew. It didn't really ruin his life. Or is this, yeah, Superman who's sort of like a proponent for Family Guy and he's telling the Justice League how good it is.

Does he still become a hero? Wonder Woman, you should watch it. Is that what he's saying? Clark, I don't own a television. Well, that's fucked up.

That's a lie. Yeah, I think you absolutely own a television. No, no, no, no,

no. I'll show you on my phone. Just go to YouTube, type in Family Guy funny moments. They're all good. They're all good. Every single one of them. Every compilation is a guy funny moments they're all good every single one of them

every compilation they're all gold that's that seed where it's like hey uh uh batman or who who does batman send the

the trailers to again uh what when batman someone gets the trailers all right

yeah all the different superheroes who's he said that to again no lex luther is sending it to No, Lex Luthor has it on his computer

And Batman hacks it from Lex No, that's true And then Wonder Woman watches it And then Wonder Woman Yeah, right Or no, Wonder Woman hacks it from Lex Batman steals it from Wonder Woman Yes, yeah

Okay Because I thought someone sent it to someone Like Bruce or No, it's an email Very funny Bruce sends it to Wonder Woman Yeah, it'd be great Like, hey, Wonder Woman

Look at this He's scrolling down Family, Wonder Woman, look at this. You're scrolling down. Family guy gifts. Funny moments. Oh, I thought this would be more relevant. What do you think if I Google, and I'm very glad I don't have my little machine with me currently because I would have already done it.

Family guy funniest moment. Oh! Dude, I don't know if there can only be one. What do you reckon will come up? Chicken fight? Chicken fight, that's true. Could be chicken fight. Oh, Zama's going to do it.

Zama's got his little machine. Zama brought in his little machine. So just type in in your little machine. In your little machine. Family Guy best moment. Family Guy best moment. Best or funniest? Funniest moment.

Funniest moment, yeah. Single funniest moment ever in Family Guy. If that doesn't come up with anything, that's just a compilation. If that just comes up with a compilation, type in. It does come up with compilations. Just be like, the best Family Guy joke. Yeah, that's good.

That's a good choice. Good choice. I think it'll be when Stewie says, damn you, woman! What the deuce? I think that is the funniest moment ever in Family Guy. One moment in Family Guy that's burnt into my brain and I don't know why is at one point Brian spanks Lois in a sexual manner.

So unfortunately there's no one moment, but we've got 20 Family Guy quotes and jokes for the and then we'll know what happens then. Top 10 Family Guy jokes that crossed maybe the line. 10 jokes Family Guy fans can't believe were real. So which one would you like me to click? And then we can go to the last one. First one.

The first one you read out. Best family guy quotes. So surely this is going to be gold. All right. Giggity giggity. The very first one. Brian, there's a message in my alphabet. Serial.

Yeah. It says, ooh. Okay. Peter. All right. Those are cheerios. Okay. Family got funniest moment.

That was the first one. That was the first entry. Okay. Maybe they're doing like, you know, a weird countdown. Yeah. One is actually the worst. Wait, Brian said that? So Peter says this to Brian, I believe.

Oh, Brian. Brian is messaging my alphabet cereal. Wait, Peter, those are Cheerios. Yeah, but you did the chewy voice. I was confused. Sorry. Brian, there's Cheerios in my cereal. No, okay.

Peter. Hang on. What does Peter say? It's me, Peter Griffin. Brian Lois. All right. Hey, Lois. All right. Hey, Lois. Brian, there's a message in my...

What the fuck am I doing? Hey, Brian, there's a message in my... Hey, Brian, there's a message in my alphabet cereal. It says... Those are Cheerios, Peter. That was good. That was good. Okay, so that's the...

Okay, that's the first one. Okay, last one. The last one's got to be the best one. Oh. Come on. Another one for Peter. Yeah. You know that Chuck Norris is so tough that there is no chin behind his beard.

He's only another fist. Okay. Peter Griffin said that? Apparently. Peter Griffin said that? Number 19 was Meg, who let you back in the house. Much better. That's better. That's better.

That's funny. That's pretty funny. Meg, who let you back in the house? Meg, who let you back in the house? Peter. Giggity, giggity. Okay, what lesson would you teach? Hello, Glenn.

Hello, Quagmire. All stellar impressions by the boys. We're nailing it. Yeah. Well, that's not what I teach. Well, you didn't use the tornado properly or anything. You just kind of did exactly the same thing as Parkhead, except you said. I remembered family got wrong.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Okay. Where I think, obviously, Parkhead has the power of tornadoes to teach a lesson. Yeah, see, absolutely. You can do anything with the tornado. Yeah. And I think that Zack Snyder in a rare misstep

in this I think the whole idea of putting Parkhead in a situation that kills him that Superman could control is a mistake because the whole thing with Parkhead and Superman needs to learn is no matter that he is the fastest or strongest or the best person on earth

he can't save everyone. He he typically has a stroke, right? Or a heart attack, yeah. So I think I'm going to drive this tornado past an old folks home, so they all have heart attacks. So first of all, I guess Park Hen has to have a heart

attack too. Because otherwise, if you're just killing random old people... I don't know if you can will a heart attack. He has a lot of sodium. He's there. He's like, oh, it's coming. I have a perfect idea. Over the glove compartment. There's like high sodium salt. What are you doing? I'm teaching you

a lesson. But basically I do a drive by of an old folks home with a tornado. They get scared. There's a few heart attacks. Superman's like, oh my God. I can't save everybody but couldn't he suck in the NATO? he could have sucked in the NATO could you as Park Kent as a tornado is coming

look at Park like look at your son and don't shake your head but clutch your heart and pretend you have a heart attack and then get sucked off by the NATO okay unrelated

unrelated it's just that the NATO that got you. And like, don't limp. Be like, this is going to hurt, but I'm going to pretend like I'm about to run. Yeah. Because I can get out of this. And as he runs, oh, my heart.

You've got to really sell it. Because Superman's like, dad pretended to have a heart attack. And then like, he straightens his ears. Like, his heart's beating. Come on. What the fuck? He's got, holy, he'sened his ears. Like, his heart's beating. Come on. What the fuck? Holy, he's the calmest he's ever been.

His heart's beating at, like, 50 beats a minute. What the fuck? Did dad think? He's resting. He's currently resting. Did dad think that it would be less traumatic if he died by a heart attack and that that would, rather than getting killed by the tornado, was that his plan? I would have stayed in the car.

Because then that's, like, less upsetting to see. Oh, yeah, that's true. That plan? I would have stayed in the car. Because then it's less upsetting to see. Oh, yeah, that's true. That's true. So you stay in the car, the car gets sucked into the tornado. Then you might survive. I also have more chance of surviving. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh.

What the fuck are you doing? Yeah, yeah. Like seatbelt on. Yeah. And then just stay in the car. Front seat so there's airbags. Grab that dog. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Clever. Dog doesn't run. I got a lot of body to stop. Good cushioning. He's still going to eat heaps of salt. Yeah! In the car, vrooom, wind around you. Survive.

Pull out a bowl of salt. Dog's licking the salt, two heart attacks. Yeah, I know. Can dogs have a- oh, dogs can have a- Dogs can have anything. They can have a heart attack. I can have a heart attack. Superman finds your body and the dog's body, and immediately with his extra efficient

clocks you both had a heart attack. He's like, I guess it is stressful to be Peter, but then he notices the salt around your mouth, and he's like, what happened to you? There's salt everywhere. What the fuck? How much salt was in this car? Dangerous.

Well, maybe the tornado came from the beach. Maybe. Okay. Salty tornado. Salty tornado. Yeah. Okay. Makes a lot of sense the more you think salty tornado. Yeah. Okay. That makes sense.

It makes a lot of sense the more you think about it. Yeah. Well, sometimes isn't that one of the, you know, like sometimes it rains fish. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So one of the theories is that it's a tornado sucking up fish from the sea. So if the tornado went past a salt factory, you know.

I think that is like, you said one of the theories,, there is other very logical explanations for why it would rain fish. Fish are just having a swim up there. There's water up. Well, I think the reason people, like, even that doesn't make sense because why is it grabbing one fish and not, like, other different kinds of fish? I thought it was many fish. It was always typically the one kind of fish, yeah. Not one fish. That's no great mystery.

Someone dropped it. Throw it through a fish. Surely it would be, like, a school of that fish. That's no great mystery. Someone dropped it? Just throw it through a fish. Surely it would be like a school of that fish. That's maybe why. Or a fish factory. Yeah, a fish factory makes sense. How awesome would throwing a fish be? Just like holding a fish by its tail and just throwing it?

Yes. Because it would flop in the sky, which would be also awesome. And then you could hit somebody like a flat. And you could do some damage because fish are pretty heavy. I think if somebody slapped our three heads with a fish, sort of like Three Stooges style, I think we would achieve Nirvana. We would be in such an appropriate place in our lives.

Just as that initial sting and ringing as the fish slaps the side of our head. Yeah, we reach a higher plane of living. It's so perfect a moment that we stop being mortal. Yeah, that makes a lot of sense. Okay, so you've taught Clark the lesson. Of heart attacks happen. That's important for him to know. And you can't stop a heart attack.

Because a lesson that a Superman should learn and needs to learn is that you can't save everyone. That's true. Try your best and you don't succeed. I have to say giving yourself a heart attack rather undercuts the lesson you're trying to teach. You can't save everyone. Well I could have saved

you if you hadn't eaten so much salt. Because like yeah okay we're doing this ass backwards. What if we looked at this in terms of, alright, what lesson does Clark need to learn and that we can use a tornado for? Well, it seems like Park Kent wants to teach Clark to be a farmer. He wants to make that what Clark

wants to do in his life. Can you use a tornado? Use a tornado to cause a drought on the farm. Oh! Or a drought on all the farms. Small bills start starving to death. Oh. Or a drought on all the farms. Smallville starts starving to death. Right. Clark, bet you wish you were a farmer, but one more farmer wouldn't fix that. But then you're like, are you teaching the lesson there?

Farms are important. But like a tornado is like an act of God, right? God hates you, Clark. And then if the tornado then destroyed the farm, like the farms and the farmhouse, that kind of stuff, and then it's like, you can't really build back from that. You've actually got to make it so, okay, what

if we destroy farms in the neighboring county? Okay? That means we need to work twice as hard to provide that neighboring county with cows? So we direct the tornado because we have the power of tornado yeah Clark ever ripped off an otter in the early days of getting At least like one down there like if you just grab another and pull down it'll pop off

Okay clock nice try cow nipple. Like if you just grab another and pull down it'll like pop off. Okay Clark. Nice try. Anything involving anyone else is terrifying. Gentle touch next time. That maybe is like the fourth dog can't

you know. Oh yeah. Oh he's patting it too hard. It's so funny to imagine he fucking he mouse and man this.

Ah shit. Of mouse and man. He mouse and man it so bad. It's so bad It's so funny Park having like Oh Clark I'll get you to

Mook that cow I'm gonna mook this one And then as he's Mooking this one He just Horrible mook Like a Like

Okay Uh Clark Did the otter come off Yeah Okay that's alright We'll shoot this cow It's okay This is a beef

He's a beef cow We'll start again We'll start again For the next cow You have to shoot the cow And then's okay. We can still drink. This is a beef castle. There he goes. We'll start again. We'll start again for the next cow. You have to shoot the cow, and then we'll just start the next one. Just a gentle attack. We'll shoot the cow. We're going to put the cow down. Okay.

He puts his hand in the cow's head and just pushes. Oh! Okay. We actually have a gun for that, buddy. That was fucked up, buddy. That was real bad. Clark could clap the cow's head out of existence. Okay.

Maybe you go inside with Mark and and we'll pick this up tomorrow. Sorry, Dad. I panicked. That's okay. That's okay. Just go inside. That's okay. This hasn't upset me.

I'm a grown man. Watch the TV. I'll figure this out. Park Kent standing with one cow with its auto-tortle. One cow with a squished head rubbing his temples. I don't know if I want. I need Family Guy more than ever.

Yeah, I gotta write a story. I gotta write a new script tonight. Fuck. That'd be terrifying. It would be bad. He says, there are those moments that we see in Spider-Man

where he tries to open a door and he crushes the handle. Yeah, he tears it off. At least with Superman, he kind of grows up and he kind of gets power by power. And so there's that little bit of moment where he's like, oh, no, and then he's careful.

But yeah. Yeah, there's just got to be that, oh, no, it's a learning curve, you know? But yeah, so that's one way we could do it. We could wreck another farm. Then he's going to work extra hard. And a lot of this, though, involves Park Kent surviving. Yes, that's true.

Because that's the kind of like, say, okay, we've got this tornado. We drove it around to destroy other communities, et cetera. Yes, that's true. these communities to help rebuild and come together and help your fellow man. And that's a good lesson is that ape together strong. Yeah, yeah. Together we can kind of

come out to the side in any kind of problem that we can see. But Parkhead survives though, you're right. And this is why we need great leaders with great powers who are a very kind clerk in that you can, you know, do this. But you kind of really need to, like, hammer that over the head and be alive to do this. What about, I got a simpler one. Yeah.

You don't want Clark, I mean, this happens in Smallville. I don't know if this happens across all the other, but the Mon Park. The one Superman story you know, Smallville. Mon Park don't want Superman fucking or anything like that, okay? Yeah, because of a Hancock situation. Exactly. So what if you scare him off like this? As he grows up, you say, hey, if you masturbate, a tornado will kill your dad.

And then you just keep an eye on him. And then one day he's masturbating. You hear it happening in the other room. You're like, what are you doing? You open the door. The tornado comes down, sucks you up into space. Scarred for life. Why do you not want Clark Kent masturbating?

I don't want him getting horny at all. Why? You know what he did with the cow? A Hancock situation. Imagine what he does fingering somebody. Exactly. It's safer if I get sucked up by a tornado that just comes, sucks me into space. Clark Kent never masturbates again.

Swears often. So you scare him. Scare him straight. Except by straight... Scare him... Scare him in cell? Yeah, scare him in cell. Vol cell, actually.

No, it's not in cell. Scare him... No, because if you're scaring him, then it's not vol cell. Well, he's voluntarily selling. Because he's... Scared celibate. He's not masturbating. He's a scare sell He's not masturbating, he's not having sex You're getting the second tornado

That's when Ma's gonna have to come in You keep an eye on him, that's what I tell Mark You keep an eye on him, if he fucks, you get nato'd And then all we got left is the dog Oh the dog has to Into the sky What do you is the dog Oh the dog has to Into the sky What do you save the dog for? Anal? If he's already

Fucking pussies he can fuck asses I failed at my job He's ruining someone's day I was trying to think What lessons would Parkhent want to put onto his kid? Yeah. And so Park Kent, the Kents, including Clark, and Dog Kent, well, they're Methodist.

Oh, okay. And I don't know much about the Methodist religion, so I quickly, like, what are the beliefs of Methodists? Yeah. And summed up is, do no harm, do good, stay in love with God. Okay. Now, a tornado is an act of God. Right. God loves me and wanted this.

Fump is a very funny lesson to have. One day God will come for me because he loves me so much. And then the tornado sucks him off. This is actually a good thing. Yeah. This rolls. I am now closer to God. But also we know that Park Kent's a bad Methodist

because the do no harm thing, Clark's like, I tried to save kids and He's like well you shouldn't have Yeah, that's that's not a trolley problem right doing is it better to like let nothing happen or you know Well your actions cause get called Satan on one side. Yeah classic kids die Yeah, that's strange that that that was like, he saved my boy. Probably a devil child. Probably the Satan.

Not like maybe he's been blessed by a god. No, no, no. I remember that speech being weird. It was. She starts off being like, I know that your boy did this. He's probably a devil. He's very special, and I don't know if he's been blessed by a god, or maybe he's been blessed by Satan, and he is Satan.

Thoughts? What do we think? What do we think? What do we think of this? This took a turn. Get out of my house. Okay, it's interesting. Okay. My son had sinned a lot.

That's all I can think of. Not one of those children had committed no sin. It seems sus. Yeah, yeah. Kids sin. Kids sin all the time. Especially in the age of the internet. Yeah.

Google whatever they goddamn want. So yeah, do no harm, do good, stay in love with God. Could you make the- So you're going to claim it's an ascension. You're getting sort of raptured, but no one else is. Dad was a good guy. Yeah, you didn't think I did the best, but this is proof I raised you the best, because I've been chosen by God.

There's only a lesson there, and that's gloating. Yeah. You were wrong, what you said in the car before. I am a good day! It's funny gloating because you are just killing yourself with a tornado. This means I'm a good person, and then you die. Yeah. Could you use

a tornado to attack Clark's enemies and say it's God doing it? How? Well, at that point, does he have enemies? Probably some kids. Wait, are you trying How? Well, at that point, does he have enemies? Probably some kids. Wait, are you trying to... Oh, at that point, is it like when... Well, Clark's like... I mean, based on how Henry Cavill's looking in that scene,

Clark's at least 35. Yeah, but at that point, I think he's like meant to be, what, 16? Yeah. Did you notice his hair? His hair looks weird. Oh, it looks like a weird wig. What if you say, you did this, as you get sucked up in the tornado?

You could have stopped this. No, no, no say you did this as you get sucked up in the tornado? You could have stopped this? No, no, no. You did this. You made this tornado happen. What if you use the tornado to prove that you were right and Clark should keep his powers secret and that everyone will hate him by asking him to save you, which would then reveal his powers,

but then you've spoken to everyone and been like, I hate my kid and he's a freak and then when he comes back you're like you act shocked and then everyone's like devil kid so you all lean in my son is the devil and as you pick him up and he

takes you back to the underpass you're like thanks Satan you were here and everyone's like what and then he can be like, told you that hate you. See, and you look at the crowd, because we raised him as Satanist. Wait, why are you bringing it back on you? No, no, no, no, no. I don't want to claim that we raised him as Satanist.

We found him in hellfire. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. He was a Satan boy. He is the devil? What if when he- No, because I don't want to damage my brand. I just want him to... I think you kind of got to tank your brand.

No, because that doesn't... Because if the people hate me too, then that doesn't teach the lesson I want. They just need to hate him. People will hate you. So you start running on your bad leg. Yeah. But instead of saying no, you say yes.

Superman runs for you. At that moment you flip around and run into the tornado like you fear your son. That's what you're saying to the people. He did this to my leg! I would rather get tornadoed into heaven than saved by my son. Then touch him.

Maybe you gotta, I don't know, into heaven then saved by my son then touch him yeah yeah or maybe you gotta like I don't know uh uh do something before like that's

you know like like reprehensible but not like too reprehensible like I don't know publicly hit your

your dog Kent right yeah and then everyone's like he hit that dog that's fucked up and then when Clark saves you

you're like see Clark saves bad people. Me. I'm a dog hitter. Yeah, but then, could they not be like he saves anyone, regardless? How good is he? No, I just think that because people in this

universe have shown to hate him for having powers and he thinks that they won't hate him. Dying in the process. Set up a situation where they are, like he does reveal his powers, but also just, you know. Oh, I got it. I got it. Yeah.

Yeah, Clark. Suck off the tornado and save us. Yeah. So he gets up there, he flies, big huff. And then he just looks at the crowd and just waits to be like, man, they're going to turn, right? Yeah. And everyone's like, maybe they're thankful or not. Yeah.

And then maybe he could be like, should any one man be above the will of God? And then you just look to the presumably heavily Methodist population that he's in Kansas. This tornado is God's fury. That kid ate God.

The tornado was God. We worship the tornado. In our family, we're nadists, gone. We worship the tornado. In our family. We're nadists, okay? We worship nados here in Smallville. Parkin has lost his mind once again in a unique and interesting way. We live and die by the nado.

How dare he eat my god? You think you're better than my god? He's proved that he's better than my God. I'm more stupid than my son, I guess. Clark spits out the tornado. He's like, hey, he did this. Look, he's destroying Smallville. He's vomiting on Nato's.

Aren't Nato's your God? Yeah, it's complicated. This is sacrilegious. That's all I know. Maybe good now, I think. Fuck. It's hard to say, fuck, I fucked it. Also, Clark's going to hate me. Oh, I think. Fuck. It's hard to say, fuck, I fucked it. I fucked it so bad.

Also, God's going to hate me. Oh, I fucked this up. I fucked it. But yeah, you could be like, you think it is better than God. No man should be above God or eat God. Yeah. You want everyone to hate him. How do you, what if you train yourself?

Yeah. This is tricky, but you train yourself to be able to snap your own neck on will. When Superman grabs you, you put all of that practice into action. With a head of full 180. With a whip of your neck.

Snap yourself dead. Then everybody's like, he saved but it strengthened those neck muscles. You gotta be so careful in your practice that Superman Clark doesn't come up to get you for dinner and just you fucked up practicing and snapped your arm.

One and two and... Oh, damn. Then when they bring, when Clark brings you a dead body, everybody's like, in saving that man, he snapped his neck. He killed him. And I don't know if anyone would come to that conclusion.

They would be like, I guess a tornado snapped his neck. Poor Clark Kent with his dead father. No one's like, fucking Spider-Man killed Gwen Stacy. Lots of people think that. Spider-Man thinks that. And it looks more obvious. Spider-Man thinks it. It looks more obvious. Green Goblin walks him forward. You of people think that. Yeah. Spider-Man thinks that. Yeah. And it looks more obvious. Spider-Man thinks it. It looks more obvious. Tringoblin mocks him for it.

You know, Superman picks you up, you snap your neck in that moment, you know? I'd wear a mask if I was Superman after that. You don't want to be the guy who snapped his dad's neck. And you can't convince people. In between watching episodes of Family Guy, he was trained. He would sit in his little shed with Family Guy going to little TV and practice snapping his own neck. Yeah. Scalines were so fucking thick.

It was insane. Dad, your neck's looking tough and weird. For no reason. Don't look at it. And most importantly, don't think about it. And don't go in my Family Guy shed. He's there with that little rubber ball or whatever. Freaks are chewing on it to get a bigger strong jaw.

He's just doing that constantly. Ma, does it seem like Dad's training for something fucked? Yeah, it does. It's a little bit. Yeah. The lesson to teach Clark is that you do your best but you can't save everyone whereas the lesson he currently teaches him

was don't try and watch your dad get NATO'd well the lesson that he teaches results in the ending of Man of Steel which then the series retcons because they realise that's a bad look because you can't save everyone the greater good etc etc so then they fight with Zod. Yeah. People do

die. Yeah. But then I think the neck snap thing that he does to kill Zod is meant to show that he can save people, because he does that. Oh no, that's the greater good, I guess. I like to think Zod also trained under the same school that Parkhand did. Yeah. Snapped his own neck. Because yeah, it's that kind of thing of like,

well, because Parkhand, what is the lesson here I think Because Pa can't Is like I tried to do something I tried to save the kid And the dog

And I was successful And then I died right So it's that kind of Self sacrifice In a stupid way But self sacrifice I did this To save people

So my actions Caused a good thing But then unfortunately I died in the thing Whereas Superman I guess tried to rebel Against that For the whole thing

And was trying to like Not stop Zod but Zod was like no matter what you do I'm gonna kill people so he snapped his neck and he's like so in doing so I committed the act of Moira but then I saved a lot of people but Park Kent the only lesson

he really teaches Clark is do not use your powers right now that's it because he says take your mother to the underpass, maybe because he's like, I'm trying to teach you a lesson, but maybe because he's like, I want to protect my wife. Yeah.

And then he's like, I'll go back for the dog. And then, and that's, if he, because his plan was to go back for the dog, get the dog back to the underpass.

But what happens is he realizes it's too late and then kills himself. Yeah. What if the lesson that he's trying to teach Superman is that he's a Sigma and Superman is a beta? Beta cock.

He whispers, I'm the Chad. The Chad dad versus the virgin son. Killed by the NATO. You'll never replace me. Yeah, he was feeling threatened by Clark. Take himself out of the equation. Yeah. Yeah. There's a lot.

This is like, cause the only thing you can do is like, all right, there are some things you can't do. So even to the point where like you save the kid. All right. Oh, Hey,

our dog Kent is going to, yeah, I'm going to go and try and save him. At that moment. You're like, no. And you put your hand out and you stop your boy trying to save that dog. But also you don't save the dog yourself because you're like no matter what happens it's like it's

we can't save that we can't we can't save everyone we can't save everyone and there's a lesson to learn there yeah and which is sort of like a lesson that animals pets often provide yeah for for like you know growing boys growing people who grow up it's's like, you know, oh, we've got this dog, you know, or this cat or whatever. Or a hamster who's like, I will die like that one day. I'll eat too much chocolate

and throw up in the front yard. And so generally, generally, like with like, you know, those kinds of things, you're like, oh, this is where you teach a kid about, you know,

cycle of life and death. And that, you know, this happened, it's sad, but you know, we mourn that and that kind of stuff happens. But usually it's like, you know,

through the old age or something like that. Whereas this is a bit of a twofer here for Park Kent to be like, not only can we teach our boy about, you know, death, but even though he did, you know, clap a cow's head off,

whatever, it doesn't matter. Yeah, I'm torn. I don't know if we have to shoot him with a bolt gun, but whatever. So this way, okay, we teach about, you know, death with this dog, but also, like, we can't save everyone. That's true.

And so, like, we're using this less, like this, you know, like, you know, unfortunately we do lose Dog Kent, but we teach Clark. You can buy save everyone. That's true. And so we're using this less like this. Unfortunately we do lose Dog Kent, but we teach Clark. You can buy another dog. We teach Clark his lesson. There's literal shops. Yeah. You can buy a six pack of dog. You could. I love that if he's teaching him death here, but he has also in this timeline also killed

those cows, because it makes me think that Clark's like, how are the cows doing? Great son! Awesome. Just in the cow hospital. killed those cows because it makes me think the clock's like how the cows do awesome just the cow hospital they're upstate that had a really flat head that it's inflating you didn't hit the brain somehow did they put the auto back on it oh yeah, yeah. Yeah, at the cow hospital. Awesome, Dad. That's great.

So, yeah, like a lesson there. It's like you can't save everyone. And then, you know, you're using like, oh, you save the kid. Because, you know, look, maybe controversial. But I think a child's life is more important than a dog's life. I agree. Just maybe controversial. Some kids are bad and some dogs are good.

Yeah, that's true. So yeah, so that. You can make a kid in your own home. You have to go to the shop to get a dog. That's easier, but less fun. So there's that, you know, but then he doesn't do that. He just goes and saves a dog and then kills him. Is he being like, dogs are more important than dads?

That's something I hadn't considered in my, are dogs better than children? Dogs are better than dads. What the fuck am I meant to do with that? Dogs on top of... So the hierarchy is, is children? You gotta save children. Then you gotta save dog. Yeah, then you gotta save dads. And then you gotta save dads.

Dads are still a bit important. More important than cars. Cars? This maybe explains the end where he's like willy nilly just destroying skyscrapers. Yeah, that's true. What are skyscrapers if not big cars that are stationary? Skyscrapers?

Crowds? Dads? Dogs? Children? Yeah, that's the hierarchy. I guess he's just teaching him the hierarchy of things to save. Yeah. Always save kids. Yeah. All right.

Sometimes save. Save a dog if you can. Yeah. Don't save a dad. Yeah. And then anything else? It's collateral damage. Don't even think about it.

Don't worry about cars. Don't save a dad. Don't mourn a crowd. Which is why he snaps Zod's neck. Yeah. Because there's a dad there who cares, but dad's holding kids. Gotta save the kids. Zod, not a dad.

That's true. Snap his neck. Whilst he does learn a lesson, I suppose. Park Kent actually had it sorted. The hierarchy of life. Well. On that note, I've been Joel. I've been Jackson. I've also been Joel. Tornadoes can be used to teach a lesson. Yeah, on that note, I've been Joel. I've been Jackson.

I've also been Joel. Tornadoes can be used to teach a lesson. Yeah, exactly. Also explains the horse surviving in BVS. The horse surviving?

Huh? Is there a horse in BVS? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think I'd have remembered this. At the opening scene

when Bruce Wayne is going down Bruce Wayne rides a horse. And there's a horse that's fucked up and he pees out of smoke and the horse is like, oh,

what the fuck happened there? Superman saved him. What is a horse if not a up and peed out of smoke. Oh, he doesn't ride a horse. And the horse is like, oh, what the fuck happened there? Superman saved him. What is a horse if not a long dog? Makes you think. That's what I'm putting forward.