Quick Question with Soren and Daniel - Wear Sweatpants, We're All Dying Anyway
Episode Date: March 19, 2024Daniel might be a new type of guy again, but rest assured Soren's still all in on sandwiches. Plus fashion is never finished so the guys talk about changing your loungewear wardrobe when you live with... a partner, wearing hard pants at home, and always being ready to climb a fence.To explore coverage, visit ASPCApetinsurance.com/QUESTION. The ASPCA is not an insurer and is not engaged in the business of insurance.
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I've got a quick, quick question for you, alright?
I wanna hear your thoughts, wanna know what's on your mind
I've got a quick, quick question for you, alright?
The answer's not important, I'm just glad that we could talk tonight
So what's your favorite? Who did you get?
When will I be remembered? What's it out there?
Where did all that go? Did weeks go? Oh, forget it
I saw a movie, Daniel O'Brien
Two best friends and comedy writers
If there's an answer, they're gonna find it
I think you'll have a great time here
I think you'll have a great time here So hello again and welcome to another episode of Quick Question with Soren and Daniel,
the podcast where two best friends and comedy writers ask each other questions and give each
other answers. I am one half of that podcast, author of How to Fight Presidents, senior writer
for Last Week Tonight, and new kind of guy alert, ice cream maker Daniel O'Brien.
Joined as always by my co-host, Mr. Soren Bui.
Soren, say hello.
Hey, everybody. I'm Soren Bui.
I'm a writer for American Dad,
and I just have been for a very, very long time now,
for like six years.
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in the business of insurance.
Daniel, okay, let's
do it. What kind of ice cream are you making we got an ice cream machine that
you can make ice cream uh it's uh how big is by ninja it's called creamy it's it's tall why does
everyone ask how big the ice cream maker is it fits in a cabinet it's not a problem everyone
get over it i have a ninja blender and i do love it. But because in my mind, an ice cream maker is, you remember what the, I want to say either the Amish or the Pilgrims, I don't know which, would churn butter with?
Correct. Yeah. It's not one of those.
It's not a giant, it's not a large barrel with a stick that somehow makes butter in a process that's never been clear to me. And it's not one of those giant silver bowls with big mixers that spin around for some amount of time.
The process is like you get your ingredients and you put it in this like plastic pint thing,
whether you're using fresh fruit or like protein powders and a variety of other things.
You freeze that for 24 hours and then you put it in the ice cream machine and you press
the button that says ice cream or you press the button that says sorbet or light ice cream.
There are a couple of different buttons and the instructions are very clear that they're
like, it's not a blender.
Don't expect it to blend.
It's not a blender.
I don't know what it is, but it does make ice cream.
You press a button, it gets very loud and then you pull the thing out and it's ice cream does it just pump a bunch of air in i don't even i do not know what it does
and like we watched a couple of youtube tutorials uh before uh we made it because we were very
excited once we'd ordered the machine uh because as a lactose intolerant person there's not we're we are a forgotten class of people
in uh ice cream shops and whatnot there's not a lot of options for people who can't have dairy or
egg uh so i was really excited to have complete control and make my own things so we were just
like watching youtube videos and there's this uh product reviewer guy who made like six pints of ice cream in a row. And like I said, the
ingredients take 24 hours to freeze. So we're seeing him across six days, like changing shirts,
like time passed, you can see. And he's making the simplest recipes in the book. And every time
he puts the pint in the machine machine presses a button that says ice cream
he sits there and stares at it and says this is really loud you guys oh it's really loud and then
he takes it out opens it and he goes whoa it's ice cream i wasn't really expecting it to be ice cream
yeah but it it is look at it it looks just like ice cream and then he does like he goes through
the exact same process again the next day.
And we were screaming at the TV at this point where it's like, you stupid fuck.
You bought an ice cream machine.
You put ingredients in it and you pressed a button that says ice cream.
You can't still be shocked about this.
And yet, Sorin.
You were shocked.
I was surprised.
I was very surprised that it worked because I don't know what's happening behind the scenes there.
I just know that I put a bunch of stuff together and now I have toasted s'mores ice cream that I can have.
Me, Daniel.
It sounds like the process requires a lot of, it sounds like it has to be loud to become ice cream.
Like ice cream requires noise.
Yeah, well, you need to shame the treat into submission and then it becomes ice cream.
What's your base?
What do you use in your s'mores ice cream?
It's going to sound ridiculous.
Cream cheese, a dairy-free cream cheese and some sugar and some light dairy-free heavy whipping cream.
and some light dairy-free heavy whipping cream.
And then I broiled some marshmallows and melted them down into my own homemade fluff
and threw them in there, froze that for 24 hours,
pressed the light ice cream button,
and then I dug a little hole in the center of the ice cream
and put in crumbled up graham crackers and chocolate chips and then put
it back and i pressed a button on the device that said mix in and then it mixed everything together
like into a perfect s'mores ice cream oh man and so okay i thought maybe you're doing like
some sort of core thing but does does the did the marshmallow ribbon
what is meant by ribbon oh shit i forgot you haven't eaten ice cream in a thousand years
this is what they are ribboning means like um it when you buy ice cream you'll get like a ribbon
of fudge throughout it and what that means is that the fudge doesn't fully mix in it creates
like a like in a tectonic plate throughout the ice cream. Does the marshmallow stay intact
or is it just the flavor is there?
The flavor is there.
Okay.
The problem that I'm running into
now and because
I for so long have not been a sweets
guy or dessert guy because the options are limited.
I'm now left with
a lot of extra graham crackers, chocolate
and marshmallow.
And the terrifying realization that s'mores are mostly vegan, and I could just make a bunch of s'mores.
Or I could make those like s'mores bar treats, the way you can make Rice Krispie treats.
I could just do that with marshmallows, butter, graham crackers, and chocolates.
I'm telling you this because I just came back from a long run and it's all I've been thinking about. And I think it's like bad for
me to have sweet treats in the house because I will just eat them until they're gone.
Me too. So I have a lot of questions and I'm trying to be patient with them because they're
all trying to get through the door at once. You keep saying the word vegan.
Yeah.
You're completely vegan now?
You keep saying the word vegan.
Yeah.
You're completely vegan now?
No, it's just easier for shopping and ordering purposes.
I can have dairy and egg and I don't eat red meat anymore.
I don't know if I've ever mentioned that on a podcast before, but that's like the specifics of my diet now.
Apart from chicken and fish, it's functionally vegan.
It's easier when I'm going to a restaurant to look up to make sure they have vegan options for things.
Or when I'm shopping for ingredients, then vegan is easier because it just guarantees that I'm not going to have dairy or egg in the mix there.
Okay.
But I still eat chicken.
I'm cool.
I still kill some animals.
I eat so much goddamn chicken.
Okay.
Now, my other question is, you said that it was just like this, like a whipping cream,
a dairy-free whipping cream and dairy-free fucking cottage cheese, yogurt.
What was it?
Cream cheese.
Cream cheese.
What is it?
What is it?
What's the base?
You know, I've never really investigated the the thing the
thing just says like it's a plant-based alternative and as far as i know i'm just eating sugar and
chemicals i'm just uncritically devouring whatever like it's from plants like yeah plant is an
ingredient thank you good we were surprised too we ground up an impossible burger burger and it
became this we don't know yeah uh hey do you want this buffalo chicken dip it's made from plants i mean i'm not sure i won't
investigate how or what what plants but yeah you you're promising me a thing that i thought i
couldn't have okay so you have no idea if it's oat or mushroom or or like an almond like it's just
there's we have like almond milk and the heavy whipping cream
is probably oat based
if I had to guess
because the coconut milk
is the only dairy alternative
that you can really taste
the base in there.
Yeah, it's heavy.
Okay, and how does it whip up?
Like have you just tried
whipping the whipping cream?
On its own? Yeah. For a different recipe. Yeah. If you just like, and how did it whip up
with a whisk, it whips right into like whipped cream topping that you would have. Okay. Is this
just, I'm, I mean, I want to, at this point, I want to experience this for you. Like I want to
know so that I, cause I i i will give you a uh fair
assessment on whether this whether what you're eating is is dog shit or not you wouldn't know
because you haven't had real ice cream which is top tier that's correct but maybe is it just in
like the dairy section of the grocery store can i go get some of the stuff heavy whipping cream
heavy whipping cream that i make no the make. Are you in stores yet?
We're not franchised yet.
The dairy free whipping cream.
Yeah.
That's in
depending on your grocery store
they will either have
I'm in Los Angeles, Doug.
Yeah, so you'll have a section that is
plant based milk alternatives all to
itself. There are some stores out here that have that and some where it's like buried mixed in with like the novelty section
where it's like this is blue pudding and this is dairy free for all you freaks out there i know
that section okay um and then my last question have you ever had um any other cream cheese other than just like regular solid 100 fat cream cheese
uh are you talking about like with chives or like strawberry cream cheese i mean like reduced fat
cream cheese reduced sugar cream cheese like and lactose free like any of those other ones because
in my experience there are very few things in the world where you cannot if you get the
the one that's tampered with it all
it's so far inferior it's basically inedible i think it's possible that i've had cream cheese
uh in my youth before the oh you don't remember um yeah as far as i know kite hill dairy-free
cream cheese is the only cream cheese that is alive got it so i remember as a child we would
have bagels and my parents would occasionally get reduced fat cream cheese but i didn't know that
and so we would just occasionally we'd be eating bagels and i'd be like i fucking love bagels
they're so good cream cheese is delicious and then we would eat it again a few days later i'd be like
i think i hate cream cheese and i couldn't understand what was going on i felt like it was like one of those situations like where you drink grape juice after brushing your teeth.
Where I was like, something is fucked up and I can't put my finger on it.
Turned out it's just as soon as you reduce the fat in it, just like mayo.
Oh, you wouldn't know that either.
I'm talking to an alien.
This is why you don't like turkey sandwiches like i do they all make so much more
sense now i'm sorry i got really loud uh so fired up i'm it just everything fell into place at once
for me i dropped the mug and it said kaiser soze on the bottom or whatever it says uh okay you have never had the the sensation of uh of eating turkey with tomato with mayonnaise
no i guess i haven't that's it's a it's this holy trinity combination it's it's so so good and
you've never experienced it everything makes more sense now dan you're
gonna love turkey sandwiches someday when they come up with like a good mayo alternative how
long have you been wondering why i don't love turkey sandwiches it seems like such a thing
in the car with sophia dan and his co-worker out there i was wearing a tuxedo and getting
shamed in the car because they're both
couldn't believe that turkey sandwiches were my favorite food uh it doesn't feel good to be
shamed in a tuxedo i'll say that much that's crazy because it feels so powerful to do the shaming
it's it's like gratuitous icing it's amazing which i can have now okay uh okay so back to the ice cream um does it does it melt the same no i have another life
life okay fine oh yeah i wanted sorry to stay on this so long but i want to know if it breaks
down the same way does it split when it melts uh i haven't checked in on mine since the the time i made it
and ate a few scoops of it and then put it in the freezer to save it i'm a little bit bowl yet
need it i put some in a bowl yeah i put some in a tiny little bowl because the other the the one
knock against this that i will make is that it's it's quite a process to make not a lot of ice cream.
It's Shay and I are gonna split every ice cream we make.
I'm not letting anyone else have this
because it's so much effort for a little bit of treat for me.
So I had a very small bowl of ice cream
and then put the rest away.
And I'm a little bit nervous to check on
it because I don't know how it will keep, if it will maintain its magical ice cream qualities
after sitting in the freezer, or if I'll just have to do the magical process again.
Yeah. You have to do it every time you want to eat it. I'm praying for you, Daniel.
Whatever that means for you. I don't pray for stuff. So it's pretty hollow.
I mean, all of our listeners, all of my religious listeners, and even some of you
hell doomed sinners, pray for me, please. And my ice cream.
Me first. There's a lot going on in the world, but I need this. I need this win.
So there's a, I don't want to say the name of it i can't imagine it would come back
and burn me but still there's a artisan ice cream shop in culver city and i trust them van lewin
no okay uh but i i trust them i mean they make good ice cream and i'm like okay they know what
they're doing we went there one night and they were like okay we've got this you did are you
familiar with muddydy Buddies?
Those, those like, uh, uh, little Chex Mix things covered in.
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah. Chex Mix with chocolate, peanut butter, and powdered sugar.
They're like, we got, we do this, uh, Muddy Buddy ice cream.
Now that's got, it's a mushroom base.
Like it's not, it's not milk.
And I was like, yeah, you guys know what you're doing.
I'm going to trust you.
You have the wheel.
And so I got some of that ice cream.
It was like their special.
And I couldn't eat more than two bites of it.
They fucked up so hard and they still served it.
And I was baffled because a lot of red flags.
First of all, putting cereal and ice cream.
I'm like, that's going to get damp.
Something's going to go wrong there. That's not that wrong there. How are you going to maintain the consistency?
I'm sure you've got it figured out. Also, mushrooms, you're making ice cream out of
mushrooms? Surely that will taste like a mushroom, but you know what you're doing.
They didn't know what they were doing. They just threw it together.
We've talked about this before, the amount of faith that you and i both put in whenever a company or a restaurant is like no no
no no we we we decided brussels sprouts and captain crunch go together then it's like well
like surely it's not a bad i you must have thought about it you must have gone to cooking school
where they explained to you on a molecular level why this makes sense surely you're not just some
fucking guy yeah with an idea honestly it's not allowed
me to live a pretty stress-free lifestyle that i don't that i trust everybody who's put something
out there for me to purchase that i'm like oh i mean this has got this has got through a lot of
hands i promise you yeah everybody has touched this and so it is perfect at this point but nope
very often it is just some fucking guy just a guy um so anyway it was it was disgusting
so i'm really praying that this isn't what you're actually eating and thinking is ice cream
i mean there's a chance uh i don't think so i i we've talked about this on the show before that i
the dairy-free cheese that i'd been eating in like tacos and stuff that I was
fine with and that I thought the only problem with it was that it couldn't melt quite the same.
I brought that to a bunch of friends when we had a taco night and they all ripped me to shreds over
it and they let me know. They took turns like telling me what they thought it smelled, felt,
and tasted like. And none of it was cheese
but like it was very clear that i was so out of the cheese game for so long that i i had
i didn't i don't know what i'm missing right so it's possible that i'm eating some kind of
chalky mushroom ice cream disaster um and if so uh just keep me in the dark i guess i think maybe
that's the case in fact it's possible
that's what shea is doing shea can eat cheese right and she can eat she can eat milk she yeah
she can eat milk and she can eat cheese but you know it's it's we cook so much more than we order
or go out to eat so the ingredients in the house are the dairy free alternative like we've been
using plant-based butter and plant-based whipping cream
in our in our like pasta sauces and stuff it's all been almost all been plant-based except she'll
have like she has her own like cheese toppings parmesan cheese or shredded cheese to throw on
top of things because i'm not that much of a catch that you got to give up Parmesan cheese for me.
Yeah, I get it.
Realistic here.
Okay.
Well, that's very kind of her.
And it's also very kind of her because she knows what normal ice cream tastes like.
And is she making the same faces as you when she's eating this?
Is she like, yes, this is finally.
Yeah, she's, she's, she, uh, yeah.
That's so kind of her.
Yeah.
Okay.
Sure.
You guys have all heard me talk about my wonderful dog, Jackson, before.
In one week from this recording, he is going to turn 12 years old,
and he is still just as energetic and stupid.
And that's why I love him, because he learned all of that from me.
But, you know, he's an older dog, but he learned all of that from me. But you know,
he's an older dog, but he doesn't show it. He's the best. The other day, Jackson was running up
the stairs that we need to get up to the apartment and he slipped and fell and it was adorable,
but also sad. And he didn't want to go up the stairs anymore. So I picked him up and carried
him up the stairs. And now because he loves attention, he has found out that I will carry him up and down the stairs every single time if he refuses to use them.
So that's what he does now, even though he can do them just fine. He likes the attention and that
he can tell it makes me a little bit grouchy. I love my time consuming and tedious King dog.
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All right, tell me your other life update.
I hate being a quitter. I had to drop out of my 11-week Spanish class that I was doing over Zoom.
Oh, no. 11 week Spanish class that I was doing over Zoom. Oh no! That I brought up a little while ago.
And I had to drop out because
it was an 11 week course.
I joined late because I didn't know it existed.
And I have to miss the final two classes.
And at that point,
it was like,
I might as well just miss the final three classes,
even though I didn't have something
stopping me from going to the most recent class.
It was unbelievably stressful to be in a classroom setting again, even over Zoom.
And I was like, well, I'm going to miss the last two classes.
And I'm not positive the class is making me any better at Spanish.
So let me let me just drop this, this final one too. And I only bring
this up, uh, cause I think it's, it's pretty illustrative that, uh, that I emailed my teacher,
uh, in Spanish. We've, we've only ever communicated in Spanish in class and over email.
And I let her know that I was not, that I was sorry that I couldn't take the class anymore
because of, of scheduling reasons. Uh, and she responded, said, uh, oh, thank you for telling me,
uh, you're a very talented student. Ooh. And this, this is all in Spanish. And then she said oh thank you for telling me you're a very talented student
ooh
and this is all in Spanish
and then she said
I waited for your turn
to practice Spanish
whoa
and I was like
what is she
what does she mean by this
what is she trying to say
and like also
she knows that I
I
I
I
I
I
I
I
I
I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I like also she knows that I... I... Hablo sobre mi novia todo el tiempo, cada clase.
Yeah.
And I...
So I was so like startled and taken aback by this.
I waited for you to return to practice Spanish.
And then I copied and pasted the sentence and put it in translate.
That is not what that sentence means.
I...
I did not learn Spanish as well as I thought I did. Do you have the sentence? Let me hear it. Yeah. Espero que sigas practicando
Espanol. So yeah. Okay. Esperar is to wait. And I think espero means I wait or I will wait.
So I saw espero and thought wait.
And sigas means continue.
But the thing about, or sigar is continue and sigas is conjugation of it.
And the word for turn, which is what I got confused for there, is guirar.
And those words are not very close.
But if you're studying Spanish, the lesson when you learn continue is the same lesson when you learn turn.
So those words are very jumbled in my memory because they're both in the same lesson where you're learning about directions and how to navigate streets so i saw a word that looked like wait and i saw a word that looked that
i thought was turn because i'm confused and i saw practicando espanol so i knew like practicing
spanish and i interpreted that as like this teacher sitting there waiting for it to be my
turn so she can hear me speak Spanish.
And I was processing this information.
And then I realized the sentence is actually, I hope you continue to practice Spanish.
So, esperar is wait, but it's also to hope for.
Yes.
So, yeah, she's just saying, I hope you continue to practice.
Yeah.
And it sounds like I need to.
It sounds like I could benefit from it uh well i'm i'm sorry to hear that you quit i think that it's okay i mean
you do have like a practical understanding of the language at this point you can get by just fine. I am still doing Duolingo every day.
Shay pointed out that I didn't quit learning Spanish, just stopped doing this class.
I'm still learning.
I'm still practicing, which is an optimistic way of putting it.
But yeah, it was a tough...
I hadn't anticipated how stressful class would be.
And again, that's not why I dropped it. It was, I hadn't anticipated how stressful class would be.
And again, that's not why I dropped it, but it's a nice perk of dropping it because it's,
you're sitting in class and even though like I could just shut my computer and walk away and there's no grading and no one is going to call home if I do a bad job, I still, you can't tell my body that when teacher calls on me and asks me to both speak
in Spanish and remember something that one of the other students said earlier. Because every class
starts with like a show and tell thing where you bring like objects and you go through five objects
that are part of your routine was one class and five objects that are just like random things that you've found in your home that you want to show off or one thing that you want
to talk a lot about. And then time goes on and the teacher will be like, do you remember what Deborah
brought to class today and what she does? So I have to like remember what another student said
in Spanish and then like regurgitate it back in Spanish also.
And it's always very simple things. It's like a cup to drink tea, but it's still just my body is
thrown back into school mode and I feel very unprepared.
It's so funny that all that manifested into you misreading this line where the moment in class where you are the most afraid, she's like, hey, by the way, that moment, I cherished it.
I waited for that moment.
Okay.
That's fine.
You know what?
I'll tell you.
I'll open the door.
I'll give you a little peek behind the curtain here, Daniel.
I took Spanish for a long time. Oh, there's a curtain behind the door? Curtain behind the door. It you a little peek behind the curtain here daniel i took spanish for a long time
oh there's a curtain behind the door curtain behind the door it's a beaded curtain but it's
like the beaded curtain was there first and then i installed the door and so like i just
i did what the beaded curtain was cool i wasn't gonna get rid of it okay
um all right i took spanish even a beaded curtain i don't want to belabor this point, but I feel like I don't need to peek behind a beaded curtain.
I can see it.
I can see what's going on back there.
But go ahead.
Yeah, peel.
The beads are thick.
Okay.
It hurts to walk through this beaded curtain.
It's just when you peel it, it's so loud.
I can hear them clacking, but sure.
You have to kind of cover your face when you walk
through or you just get a bloody nose every time. I took Spanish for a long time. And I'll say that
once we got to the subjunctive tense, I basically hit my ceiling. It was like, I don't know what
this is. I don't even know what this is in um i i don't think that this is going to be useful for me from this point forward and then we'd like
studying magical realism and stuff and i was just pretending the whole time yeah i was like i had a
real clear limit to what my spanish could be and then after that everything was just like i don't
get any of this yeah especially as an adult like the the thing I hadn't anticipated about the Spanish textbook I got is that it's good at holding my hand about Spanish. It really assumes a lot of knowledge about English that I have not maintained.
No. So this is the indirect object. I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Slow down.
We don't have that in English.
Aren't you a writer?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Touche.
Yeah, but it turns out most of the stuff you learn in English doesn't actually matter for writing.
Yeah.
They'd be like, people try to explain the subjunctive to me.
They'd be like, it's like the conditional tense.
And I'm like, what is that?
What?
Like, it's something that hasn't happened and might happen and i'm like ah no no thanks no sentences are nouns and verbs and helpers that's it where this
is we got back to imaginary numbers in math where like we get to that moment i'm like i can't i
can't go any further you guys going without me uh so i actually had a really interesting experience
with spanish well a lot of different languages recently, Portuguese and Spanish primarily, which was I was watching this, a conglomeration of clips of celebrities speaking in some other language.
And so they'd be doing interviews and they'd be doing it in another language, like languages I didn't even know they spoke.
And it was so hot.
It was so cool to see them so fluid, in another language i was watching uh anya taylor
joy you know her uh-huh and she's speaking in portuguese and i was like what the what the fuck
yeah she's just so good at it and i think i don't know maybe she's born in brazil or something like
that but i think so have you seen uh not to pivot to celebrating a white man, but I do think it's harder for white men to be impressive ever.
Yes, good point.
Ben Affleck speaking Spanish with great ease is very impressive.
And he doesn't need to be good at anything because he's over six feet.
But he's still learned Spanish pretty well with, I think,
a decently passable accent too is that why he was dating is that the
only reason he was dating anna de armas why she dated him does she like actually liked ben affleck
because i didn't understand what was going on there um but now it's starting to make a little
more sense that he they could actually communicate yeah oh man i did not know that he could speak spanish uh that bums me out a little
bit that i don't speak it like that i mean i would i can understand it pretty well um i understand
what's going on about 80 of the time speaking it is still a chore for me because i also don't do it
a lot but i will sit there and think about what I'm
going to say before I say, I will structure the whole sentence. Like I can't just do it on the
fly. It's impossible. I think I can, I can get around in a conversation and, and communicate
if I need to, which was the, the, the secondary goal of this the primary was was to to be as cool
as ben affleck in that video i saw that one time and i don't think that's in my future but but here
we are in the present yeah and the hey the present's not so bad soren it's not so bad you
speak a little spanish and you speak a little italian you got a couple of notches in your belt
um what else okay well i have a question for you daniel why don't we start the
show why don't we start it yeah so hello again welcome to another episode quick question we
already did that part quick question daniel sure this is actually a question about uh living with
somebody else since you had a girlfriend that you live with, have you found that you have to upgrade your home wardrobe?
Like the wardrobe that was never intended for other eyes, like your comfy stuff.
Now you've got another person who's seeing all that.
And it's a person that ostensibly you want to be attracted to you.
Have you had to update your loungewear?
I want to be very clear about i i i think this is a fantastic question soren
uh which we don't say enough on this show we don't hey man great questions man
i do want to be clear if i could have some notes on that is that i
i don't think i had to update my wardrobe.
I just want to be clear that it's not coming from her.
I realized that I should update my wardrobe
when there's another person who is going to be seeing me
more than anyone else is going to be seeing me.
So I did update my loungewear just as like,
update my lounge where where uh just as like no one should have should no one agreed to see me in a bathing suit and the same t-shirt every single day no one signed on for that
and i i shouldn't it's rude of me to surprise her with it now that she's moved in and be like ah
this is it i wear the same bathing suit and t-shirt every day. But I did realize like, oh, I don't have, I have like a couple, a couple of pairs of
ratty sweatpants for the house and some really busted t-shirts and then a bunch of like
athleisure and athletic wear, like my running clothes that I could wear around the house
that aren't meant for going out.
And then beyond that, clothes aren't meant for going out and then beyond that clothes that
are meant for growing for for going out and i it was never a problem for me when i was living alone
because i was fine wearing the same things over and over again and i was fine like i wake up and
i put on running clothes no thing knowing that i will eventually run or work out and if i don't
i'm fine to like sit around in that i started to get self-conscious
like i should have just better like like loungy jogger pants so she doesn't have to stare at the
same sweatpants every day which by the way are a pair of uh last week tonight themed blue sweat
pants that i got as a wrap gift one year and some novelty steely Dan
sweatpants that I got off an Instagram ad as a joke for no one.
I was like, I should just get some like not even not just nicer clothes that that aren't
ratty or or work themed, but like clothes that that fit better i don't feel like i need to walk around
uh impressing my girlfriend or anything like that you know i i got her already but i do i i
it's the point i want to look nice for her yeah yeah i want to not look like a schlubby piece
of shit all the time yeah so i got like nice walk around the house t-shirts and and lounge
pants i still there's a thing that uh she doesn't love about my around the house wardrobe
that will never change i mean she over time has told me when it gets to be summertime and my decision to be
almost exclusively sleeveless with my armpits and armpit hair out in the world that's not her
favorite thing but but soren you know and anyone who worked with me at cracked knows that if you
have a problem with my arms being bare you got to find another job because that's not i didn't i
didn't put on sleeves for my fucking job.
I'm not going to put them around,
around the house.
Yeah.
You get,
you get in the guns no matter what.
Yeah.
Um,
so she,
she specifically complained about just your armpit hair flying out in the
room like that.
Like every time you lift your arm up.
Yeah.
How interesting.
What an interesting thing to be,
uh, repulsed by. I like, this is, this is, I, I, like every time you lift your arm up yeah how interesting what an interesting thing to be
uh repulsed by like this is this is i i i always feel a little i don't know if you if if you feel this way about talking about uh your wife on the podcast but i feel self-conscious whenever i'm
100 controlling the narrative yeah i feel like over need to like over correct and be like yeah she is not
like here are the things about your wardrobe that I
hate. No it's clear. I like this is after
a lot of prodding and be like which of my other
things do you
which thing do you hate? Yeah the way that you preface
this with like she's not forcing me to do anything
yeah man I know
but like you like
what's the you've got a certain
you've got some outfits that are not set for public consumption and now you're showing somebody
else. Like sometimes you just got to like, you got to change, you got to change it up.
I had sweatpants that like cinched at the bottom and I felt like that was not fair to do to another human being. But that was so, I've now
been in this relationship for so, so long that I had forgotten until recently, like I used to have
a different set of clothes that I would wear just around the house. I don't really have that anymore.
Occasionally, like when I get up with just the kids, I will wear pajama pants or I'll wear joggers,
like when I get up with just the kids, I will wear pajama pants or I'll wear joggers. But for the most part, and this might make me sound like a serial killer, I wear jeans around the
house. Oh man. Yeah. That's rough. Hard pants. I mean, is that what you're calling jeans?
Correct. Yes. I wear hard pants. I wear dungarees around the house. And I always have. I think since we've, I'm trying to like remember a time when I didn't do this. It was like, by the time I bought joggers, I had not had sweatpants for probably a decade. And got them, I think right around the time my son was born, because it was such a, it was so demoralizing to wake up a.m with a child and go downstairs and in a fucking pair of sevens like and so i i finally got some pants that where i was
comfortable in just like hanging out with him in the morning on the floor and everything
and so since then i've gotten some more kind of cottony pants but for the most part like i get
home from work or something like that i'm'm not going to go change or not.
No.
I mean,
I'm wearing jeans right now.
I'm in my garage wearing jeans and I will wear them for the rest of the
day until I need to work out.
And then I will change into my athleisure.
Shay is at her office today.
So I'm in swim trunks.
No shirt.
Yeah.
So I'm trying.
So in terms of always like a signature of yours as well.
Yeah.
Is that a leg circumference issue?
I think it's a very efficient way to live your life
because I just got back from a run.
I didn't have time to shower, so I put swim trunks on.
I'm not going to need swim trunks anytime soon.
They're comfortable.
And I wasn't going to sit around in my sweaty running bottoms.
So I put on swim trunks because that saves me having to put on both shorts and underwear
because the swim trunks have the
built in right in there yeah so you're just i'm doing a smart thing you're actually saving the
planet imagine i'm saving the planet loads of laundry that you are not doing is like
you're one you're single-handedly pushing back global warming um okay so no pants no yeah yeah i i wear pants most of the time i guess i
wear some shorts in the summer but even then like i'm wearing good shorts i'm not wearing
my workout shorts just around the house and i don't know why what are you when it's the end
of the night and the the kids are in bed and you're watching,
it's Sunday night, 11 o'clock, you're watching Last Week Tonight with John Oliver to support
your friend.
What are you wearing nighttime couch time?
Jeans and sock, my socks still.
And I'm wearing whatever shirt I was wearing that day, unless it was a button up short
sleeve shirt, which I cannot abide by.
They don't fit me quite right.
Like the arms are all really tight.
And if I lift my arm over my head, it's like wearing a blazer.
Like I can't get them up.
And so I will take that off and I'll put on a t-shirt.
Are you comfortable in jeans in your home?
Yeah.
I mean, I'm not uncomfortable wearing jeans.
It's not like i'm wearing
sunday church clothes as a kid and i can't wait to get out of the right starchy uncomfortable stuff
i can wear i wear jeans like out in the world and everything but it's such a treat coming home from
errands or from the few times i go into the office to get rid of the people clothes
and put on the me and Che and Jackson clothes.
It just doesn't feel any different to me.
And maybe I've been conditioned to believe that,
but I would come home or late at night, let's say,
after I put the kids to bed, I want to shower,
and I shower, and then I put clothes back on.
I'll sometimes just put jeans back on.
That is the craziest thing you've ever said.
And you say so many crazy things on this show.
Yeah.
I wear,
I wear them most of the time.
And if I really like think about why I think that I choose my clothes also like I choose my shoes in that my first thought when I'm putting on something that's not jeans is I'm like, well, what if there's a fire?
well am i comfortable being like standing in front of my house watching it burn in this uh out in public and then with shoes i think yeah these are these are nice they look nice
could i climb a fence if i needed to in these like a chain link fence and i don't know why
that's always been my thought process but i think i there have been times in my life where
i've gotten shoes i had to wear them and then i'm like i need to run and i can't run in these it's just not going to
happen and so my entire life has been built around okay can these shoes run can they climb yeah
i mean the the shoes thing i understand more than the what if my house burns down and i'm not yeah
and i'm not wearing hard pants?
That's nutso to me
because like my around the house clothing
is not embarrassing.
It's just comfortable joggers, sweatpants,
t-shirts generally.
All right.
Let me-
Sometimes an Under Arm armor sleeveless hoodie
when the when the missus is out of town you know what do you need a hood on a sleeveless shirt for
because it's so cold i see them all the time but honestly that's silly um okay here's another
detail i'm gonna throw at you daniel would you go outside in your joggers
or your sweatpants would you go out like into the world and even though these people you're
never gonna see again here's a crucial uh difference between the the two of us is that
unlike you i have had to go outside first thing in the morning every day for 12 years because I have
a dog and I'm not going to put on jeans at six in the morning. I'm going to put on, uh, my comfy
slip on clothes. And, uh, the reason I know the answer to your question is yes, is because I've,
I've done that when it's, when it's normal time, I'll wear running shorts or basketball shorts
or sweatshorts and a t-shirt
and walk them in the morning
and a few times in the afternoon.
And when it's winter and it's very cold,
I have this like gigantic oversized hoodie thing
that goes down to like mid chin
that is very unsexy and and deeply unfashionable and i am seen in it every single
morning for about two and a half months you're wearing like your dad's sweatshirt like what is
like a poncho what is it's like a giant giant fluffy muumuu with a hood what color is it
uh that's difficult to answer it's multi-colored oh good so it doesn't
grab attention and i can only make it slightly weirder by saying uh i got this hoodie muumuu
thing as a white elephant christmas gift and shea loved it so much that she kept stealing it
so i bought her her own
and now we have two and sometimes we're both seen in them that's fucking wild to me um but it all
this is is to say that like most of my indoor clothes by default have become outdoor clothes
because i have a dog that's fair now. Now, the other thing about sweatpants
that we haven't talked about yet,
with a boy wearing sweatpants,
and we're about to get a little blue,
your penis is never more on display
than when you're wearing sweatpants.
You can really see the outline of every detail
in your penis when you're wearing sweatpants, I've found.
Is that true for you?
Yeah.
So that's another reason why I don't like wearing it out in public i don't like flunting that well i don't like
people like being like and this is where i keep this thing like i don't i don't like wow we're all human beings we're all slowly dying just just be human just be out in
the world and be human i don't know that's not true you don't feel that way you'd be naked all
the time if that was the case you have some shred of what civilization should be left in your brain
uh yeah i don't i don't like that feel i don't like
being in sweatpants like i would never dare go to the gym in sweatpants and i'm baffled by the
people who do because do you feel like when you're at the gym in gym shorts and you are
sitting at a machine and pushing with your arms and like really tensing your entire body to to
make it all work are you conscious of of what your dick looks like at that time and do you think it's
hidden uh so i am aware of what my dick is doing at the gym i would say like 90 of the time i am so self-conscious about
about putting that on somebody else like
i well yeah you can't do that there are rules posted
i will i i the shorts that i choose to buy are all shorts with the intention of like, can you see my dick through
this? Because there are so many like running shorts that are this just wispy toilet tissue
material that like do nothing. It's just a little bit of a breeze and there's no more left to the
imagination. And so I buy shorts that are specifically designed that I'm like, okay,
there's, you can't make out too much of
my like there's no there's no head here okay that's good that's what i want i would say for
the longest time the same way that you and i blindly trust uh chefs and food specialists with
with bizarre ingredients anytime i got a pair of running shoes shorts and i put them on
and i thought i could see my dick i would think like well surely they they know what they're doing so perhaps when in
motion it fades no um i'm i'm less concerned with testicles by the way so like when i'm sitting down
and you're talking about they're like you're doing you're at a machine or something and you're
sitting and it's so clear that like that's so prominent i'm like well there's no definition
to it and that's what i'm like okay that's what i'm trying to avoid is definition
i don't know why i i for the same reason i do know why for the same reason like a woman isn't
gonna like want these pants to give her a camel toe where you when you see like we understand
that there's genitals there that's fine but when you see like
every detail of the genitals it's like well you weren't supposed to see that and i'm not supposed
to be seeing that yeah i i guess i guess we're just different yeah maybe i feel like this is
at a certain point the responsibility is on the makers of the shorts.
And if they're not doing it, then your beef is not with me, sir.
It's with Lululemon.
Please write to them.
Mention a quick question.
See if, I don't know, they send me any free stuff because I love what they're doing.
Their stuff is so expensive i can't imagine
they would send you a single free thing absolutely not we've probably just got a great discount
yeah i got a nice discount so i can i could spend 90 on on some running gloves
okay i guess we're just different but uh it is good to know that you also changed it up a little
bit for a significant other.
You were like, you know what?
This isn't fair to them.
I'll get something nicer.
And it's nice for me too.
I also enjoy having the nicer things and retiring the worst things.
I'll say, I don't know if this, because you and your wife got together such a long time ago.
So I don't know if this, if you went through a similar thing but i started
dressing much nicer and people noticed and the thing that anyone would say to me was ah you've
got you got a girlfriend dressing you now you've got you've got a fashionable person in your life
and it's like no i just feel like looking nicer i just have a person that i want to look nice for a lot of the
clothes is stuff i already owned and bought for myself that i just didn't wear because
because who would it be for you know yeah i'm on a cycle about every seven years where all of a
sudden i'll be like this cannot stand what i'm wearing cannot stand i will need i need to wear something better and then i will get a bunch of new clothes
and look very nice for the next year and then it starts to taper off after that again
well that's got to be enough that's for our show plenty that's we've we've gotten we were so filthy
in this episode of quick question we are recorded and edited and produced by the irreplaceable Gabe Harder,
our CEO of, our president of podcast operations.
Our theme song is by the incredible Merex.
Their digital album is available at merex.bandcamp.com.
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Did I say
all the things that
I need to say? You can find me and soren on blue sky if
if for some reason you miss twitter so but you're but you're okay with a version of it that's
worse like differently worse than current twitter
not better just just adjacently worse give them them the hard sell. You can find us there. Yeah.
Go to this other shithole and find us.
All right.
Bye.
All right, bye.
I've got a quick, quick question for you, all right.
I want to hear your thoughts on what's on your mind.
I've got a quick, quick question for you, alright The answer's not important, I'm just glad
that we could talk tonight
So what's your favourite? Who did you get?
When will I be remembered?
Was it out there? Word it all there
Oh, forget it
I saw a movie, Daniel O'Brien
Two best
random comedy writers
If there's an answer answer they're gonna find it
I think you'll have a great time here
I think you'll have a great time here