Rooster Teeth Podcast - Gavin or Google 14 - #500

Episode Date: July 10, 2018

Join Gus Sorola, Gavin Free, Barbara Dunkelman, Burnie Burns, and some special guests as they discuss human anatomy, things they’ve said over 500 podcasts, play Gavin or Google, and more on this week's RT Podcast! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's time to put your pedal to the metal. From the twisted minds behind Deadpool and Zombieland, an executive producers, Will Arnett and Anthony Mackie comes the new Peacock original series, Twisted Metal, a high-oxane action comedy based on the classic video game series. Anthony Mackie stars as John Doe, a motor-mouthed outsider who must deliver a mysterious package across a post-apocalyptic wasteland.

If he can survive the drive, also starring Stephanie Beatriz, Samoa Joe, Nev Campbell, Will Arnett, and Thomas Hayden Church, twisted metal, streaming now, only on peacock. Oh, you're listening to Rooster Teeth Podcast number 500. If you hear something you would like to see from this episode, visit roosterteeth.com. All right, guys, RT Podcast 500. 500! We're doing something a little different, a little crazy. What are we doing? We're going to have a live animated podcast. I like that. We was cutting edge technology, we're doing something a little different, a little crazy. What are you doing? We're gonna have a live animated podcast.

I like that. We was cutting edge technology, we just figured it out. We're doing a live animated podcast, what does it mean? It means as we're podcasting, the animation department is animating it. Like life. Right now? In real time, yeah. I'm live, I do this.

Could I jump real life? Yeah, just jump and the land of me, you jump in. Woo! See, look, everything's so much better in animation. I love this. Can I jump real high? Yeah, just jump and the land of it you jump in. Woo! Woo! See look, everything's so much better in animation. I love this. It's awesome, we should do every episode like this. Alright, so I guess, uh, let's start the podcast.

Alright. Alright, I'm Gus. I'm Bernie. I'm Biara Brad. Gavin Hall is saying, well, we're gonna do this for the whole podcast. Yeah, the whole thing. So I feel like an obligation to talk about something really interesting. Oh, did you see the video of the raccoon that got into the bird feeder? Did you see that? Yeah, like, it's like, wiggling up the pole, it's big fan-rad.

We can even do this up. Wait a minute. What? Did you see that? Really? Something changed. What's going on? I'm gonna try to of it. He even kills up. Wait a minute. What? Did you see that? Something changed. What's going on? I'm gonna try to do this thing again. Come on.

No. What? It doesn't look as good. Barbara, try to jump. Oh. Gavin, quiet. Yes, Gavin, stop interrupting. We're trying to figure this out.

Hey, what's happening? We ran out of budget. We ran out of budget? What is that? What? Oh, man, hold on. Tightening the purse strings. But then you were gonna do this. It's an hour and a half. How did I get on the

enemy for an hour and a half? I'm podcast 500. I told you this is not the way animation works. Why is it my mouth moving? Why is my mouth making the words? I don't want to go back to Canada. Gus, can you see my mouth moving? Where's your mouth doing? Can you hear me? My mouth is moving when I'm talking my bodies are moving either Where's your body? What? What do we what do we do then? I don't know she was alive barb. Yeah, Gavin. I can tell you want to do it Yeah, let's just go do it. Let's go do it. Let's just go do it live forget it Hello! Right before we walked out, I made sure I didn't have my badge on. I'm so, it's just like reflex before we go live, checking to make sure.

Thank you for that nice round of applause. Please applaud yourselves. You all were the ones dumb enough to stick around for 500 episodes of this goddamn thing. You made it. This 500th episode of the Ristid podcast. It's embarrassing. It brought to you by Quip and you to me. Woo! We'll talk more about them later.

It's too many. I'm Gus. I'm Gavin. I'm Barbara. I'm Bernie. What do you mean it's too late? I'm Gus. You scared me for a second there.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Time, we're back to the old time. Wait too many podcasts. Oh, I see what you're saying. Yeah. What's a good number for podcasts? 150. 150?

Yeah, that's good. So we laped it like three times, and then some? How many? It's 500. It's 520 will be 10 years, right? It's like 9 and a half years of podcasting. This, two decades. This December will be 10 years for the podcast right? 9 and a half years of podcasting? This, two decades.

This December will be 10 years for the podcast, and the next April or May will be 10 years weekly, because we were not weekly. What are we going to do for the thousands podcast? Eric. It's great having a producer on the podcast now, because I can just be totally checked out. But there's no area of your job now where you're checked in. Yeah, it's awesome. It's like, where are you still checking in?

It's the best job in the world. The other day we had a meeting to discuss to organize for podcast 500 and Bernie, Eric and I were all there. And after a while, I was just like, mm-hmm. All right, I'm done. And I just walked out. Like, the meeting wasn't over. I was like, all right, you guys got this.

I love seeing you in podcast meetings too because whenever I see you're in it, I'm done. And I just walked out. Meeting wasn't over. I was like, all right, you guys got this. I love seeing you in podcast meetings too, because whenever I see you're in it, I always walk by and you're like this. I think Eric has done more producing of the podcast in 30 days than you have done in 499 episodes. That's pretty impressive. In this meeting that we had today, Gus was literally like this, the whole meeting.

He's like, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh. I'm leaving. And then he slams his laptop and get out. We were in the middle of disgusting, I think, the fifth minute of the podcast. We were done. We were done. Yeah.

Yeah, it was off. We had it down. It was worth 99 of these things. We're good. What's, so one of the things that, so we actually do some stuff. But one of the things I did was Eric and I had a meeting where we had to talk about like, okay, we're gonna make this RTA for podcast 500. What should we do? So we spitballed a bunch of ideas and eventually, you know, we saw what we settled on. And we're like, great, let's do it. And right now, right before the podcast started backstage, Gavin asked me, so what's this RTA about?

I wasn't that way, I was like, I was like, what are you talking about? You're in it, man. What gave it away that you weren't there? I wanted to see my Gavin impression for the whole thing, but they wouldn't let me. One of the things I've loved about working with this group for 500 podcasts, and a lot of the faces have changed.

We've had people come on and off, but I think we've been. A lot of plastic surgery. Probably, we've been the A lot of plastic surgery. Probably. We've been the most consistent group, I think. And one of the things I love about it is that we tried to have a dress rehearsal earlier. And as soon as we sat down, we all just started

talking about a name stuff from the week. And I love his backstage. Barbara came up and asked a ridiculously stupid question. But we all treated it with the weight of a serious life question. She comes up and she has a look on her face like this. Okay, we go, what's up? She goes, what if my vagina was right here in the front?

Like it wasn't underneath and Camin goes, well let me think about that. I think it's for one position. I'm just as invested in that question than any other question, like, what should I wear tonight? It's the same. I think I'll be convenient. I think I'll be convenient.

I think it would too. We're only this. That's it. What are you saying? Like, guys only want one thing, and it's disgusting. When would it be a lot of being in it? When would it be a lot of being in it? Like, doggy style or?

Yeah, but I feel like if the woman had the flexibility, do you do like downward doggy style with the yoga pose? And then you still have that. So she'd be like upside down basically, like hang in from your dick. You're only selling this more and more. Yeah, I was indifferent before and now I'm into it. And you, Barb, you're stuck

on the sexual implications of it. I mean, you could use it like, it's no gravity going this direction anymore. So you can use like a coin purse. Usually you wouldn't need a carry a bag. Oh, like stuff wouldn't fall out. You keep gum in there. Girls always have gum.

So you just put that in there. Keep going there. Two girl pockets do suck. So. I heard something else entirely. It was gum. Oh, OK. So I heard something else entirely Was gum oh, okay Barber you're going on record is saying that the vagina was the first poorly designed woman pocket is that The fashion industry just took a cue from the vagina. It's had no pockets in anything

Yeah, why were you even thinking about this do you have a problem with Trevor? No, okay? He knows where everything is there. I don't know. I honestly don't know why. I started, yeah, he knows everything is here. I don't know why I started thinking about it. I just, like, for some reason, I had to pull my pants up here and I was like, huh, what if you're a vagina?

It was like right there. And like, if you have, like, low rider pants, you know, like, vagina's hanging out there. You know, you're like butt crack. You'd have veg crack every now and then. I mean, if a giant is like, if they're hairless, kind of look like miniature butts. Why isn't,

why isn't everything the same hole? Because immediately I'm thinking, where should my penis be? And should everything be the mouth? Like we said, one hole. One hole. You want an out hole. The cause of the thing is.

Some animals have that, right? You want to separate out hole. I want to separate out hole? Yeah. You don't want to use your mouth the poop as well. Do you? Do you? I think as long as it bypass all the taste buds.

It would be like, wait a minute, let him talk. Let him talk. Wait, go ahead. I don't want to taste it. But I'm saying, if it was like, it's like, wait a minute, let him talk, wait, go ahead. I don't want to taste it, but I'm saying if it was like, it's like, like piss, isn't it? It's like, through your mouth? It's like the woman's urethra is separate to where the penis goes. But it's all around there.

But there are different holes. Yeah, there'll be different holes, but in the same container. So like you open your mouth and there'd be like, like for example, food and air, right? Food and what? Food and air. Yeah, no. Also, separate holes. Yeah, but it comes out of your way.

Yeah, but you have your holes too, you want to go into those. Like you're in a conversation, you go, what? But you're not putting stuff in or taking stuff out of there. It's just more to go wrong when you've got five different holes. Especially when you're gating a guy who apparently banged you in the belly button. What the hell? It's tighter, what can I say? You're kind of winning me over with your logic here, Gavin.

I think it's got some promise. I think I'm on board. There's going to be an animal somewhere that just has, it's just like legs and a hole. I don't think there is. You might be right. We have a bartender, right? I feel compelled to ask for something. Oh, ask for something. Something really complicated.

No, you had a solid note. Just put every single type of alcohol in it. A beer. Handled with a plum. Beer can be complicated. Shiner? Or whatever? So where would be, now I'm following a question. Cup.

Yeah. I would follow a question. Cup. Yeah. I would follow a question. Yes. Where would be the most convenient place for a vagina to be? And be the least convenient place for a vagina to be. I'd say like the most convenient would be just like, I have my house. Anywhere. I don't know.

I don't know. I think, no. Least, least convenient would have to be like the bottom of your foot. Hey! You just like, you know? No, you gotta go like, you don't worry, it's like how dirty is your foot? I mean.

Yeah, I guess if you had to like, pier anything, it's like gotta sit on the bathroom floor and put your leg up in the toilet. Oh, I can't, why would you sit down? That would just look so weird. You'll complicating it if you sit down. I guess you, if you have good balance. Lift your foot.

Pssss. From a standing position. It's gotta be an extreme, right? It's either the bottom of your foot or the top of your head. You sit down. I like that you dismiss Barba's foot bathroom immediately is being ridiculous meanwhile you're shitting out your mouth in the men's room Right next door and you're totally fine with that Stop fish. Oh, no, it doesn't shit out his mouth. Yes Stop fish. Oh, no, it doesn't. Oh, it's my health. Yes!

It's called a little shit beak. Surely there's like in the crowd right now, there's like one marine biologist who's like, that motherfucker better say Starfish. I thought you were referring to a sex position. Oh, no. So, Eric, are you back there? You should be. Yeah, the, are you back there?

You should be. He had a headset I saw. You looked very official. You want to bring out that nice thing that you made that I was very complimentary of? We're getting a no. Yeah, bring it out. Then we'll bring out people to help us eat and how about that. Can you do that?

You don't have it? The thing. Dress rehearsal folks. Dress rehearsal. We had not 10 minutes before you shut up. The thing with the thing on it. The thing with the thing on it the thing with the thing on it Got it, but we do have a special guest. Let's go ahead and bring them out while Eric recovers We got to wait on that one why?

We got away a little bit. Oh, we got it. Oh, we got the treat. Yeah, we got this. Oh So Eric made this for us This is our 500th episode cake And if everyone looks under their chair, you will not find any cake, because there's no way to put cake under a chair. This is, I love no matter how high the production value on the Ruchee podcast gets,

we still brought out the big thing in like a pizza box, essentially. It looks like we just got it from Amazon on the front porch. There's really no flare. Should we slide it off the box? Yeah. I'll take it. Oh, oh, damn it.

Oh, yeah, cake on your hand. It said glue. Put the mic down and use two hands, dude. I think it's glue. Someone glued it on. It's a, where it like a top hat. It's tape. It's a box. It's weird like a top head. It's tape.

It's so heavy. There. Did you ever think you'd reach your point in your life where you present a cake to a theater full of people and they applaud you for it. No, because I think that might be the stupidest thing I've ever seen. And Gavin, because this is a special anniversary podcast, you can put that in whatever hole you want to. You can just jam it in wherever you feel comfortable. Thank you very much. Okay, we're ready for the other thing too, whenever. But I was supposed to just eat this with like our hands. What's that? Yeah, I guess we're doing what?

You'll get us a four. One four. I mean, even still, even if you cut the smallest slice in the world, it's still a massive slice. That's a really illogical cake. Like a foot tall. So, got your kind of a germ freak, right? You put your foot on it. I'm not eating that now. The giant is there. It's too close. She got in the gravity of the cake and got the germs on it.

Now, this won't need it. It's everywhere. So I was thinking about this, because we went out to dinner a couple weeks ago for Gavin's 30th birthday. He's old man. He's old man. Every week. I know, I'd say.

I know. I'd say. And I was thinking, when you go out and eat with a big group of people, like, you make a big deal about washing your hands and washing your hands before dinner and being clean. And then everybody goes to a full meal and then they all eat off of the same dessert plate. Oh yeah. It's like, is that the most disgusting thing we do on a regular basis is people eat from each other's dessert plates?

People are too sensitive about germs in general. Did you see how I did it? No. One bite you were out. I had my spoon. I was, I made sure I was the first person to attack it. Got in there, got a big scoop of it, and I was like, that's it. Yeah, it's pretty neat.

I mean, it's like ice cream and it starts to melt, and that's like the gooby-like germ soup, like that E. coli swamp. Yeah. Not a play. But it was delicious, and it was a wonderful thing. Would you prefer, if they gave one dessert, but gave like 90 gave 90 spoons so each spoon full was a different spoon and there's no jams. Oh like that?

Yeah. That's not decadent in any way whatsoever. Or how about this? They're pretty good. Get their own goddamn dessert. That's it. You know, we get little things that everybody can have one of and that's it. I wish they would serve like a third portion of a dessert.

Like I wish that was an option at restaurant. Because you usually get like an entire slice of cake. That's the kids' main. Whatever it is. But all I wish that was an option at restaurant. Like because you usually get like an entire slice of cake. It's the kids' menu. Whatever it is. But all I want is like a bite or two. I wish that was an option. A little smidge. Yeah. Like get a smidge or a portion of dessert. That's why like cake balls. You have a cake ball? You have a cake ball, guys? Well, doing a whole cake ball. It's like a ball of cake. It's the most- it's the least cost-effective way to eat a cake. Not sure I understand. Yeah, but I can't bring myself to fucking pay like $3 for a stupid cake ball.

It's like this much cake. Yeah, but a piece of like a nice piece of sushi is probably more expensive than that. Yeah, but you can buy a much bigger cake at HB for like $10. Why am I gonna buy $3 for this? Thank you, yeah. Someone else shares my pain here. Should we get an ice cream scoop and just make cake balls? That's a great idea.

That's an amazing idea. Speaking of balls. Coup, speaking of balls. We have a couple of special guests. I have an announcement to make. I have a couple of special guests I want to show you. Gus is balls. What are you, are they back there?

So we have a show in the historical archive of Ruchitid, a very popular show that once it was unfortunately taken off the air, it became a huge cult favorite and everybody asked for that show to come back. We recently had a teaser announcing the return of sports balls. So here's the creator of Sports Ball, Mr. Tyler Co. and his co-host, Mia Khalifa. Woo! Woo!

Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo!

Oh, you're nice. Oh, thanks. We don't need you anymore. Oh, Quartz. What a gentleman. Oh, you're nice. Oh, thanks. We don't need you anymore. Oh, Quartz. What a gentleman. Oh, you got the mic in the pocket like a pro. You're welcome. Again.

No flare. Now, give me that knife. I'm going to open this thing up here. Oh, that's a real cake. I've never... No, it's a fake cake. I've never heard of it. I've never heard anyone say I'm going to open this up

when referring to cutting a cake. I'm opening the box. Oh Shit up. I open the cake Am I gonna wait? I'm not oh my god. That's not why am I you're my you're my close now. What is this like a 14 layer? It's fucking great Oh Good Lord. No, there's like a layer here. That's like a piece of wood here. Oh my god, what's the muscle into it? Good lord, no, there's like a layer here that's like a piece of wood in here. Oh my god.

It's like plywood. It's a nice cake. It's two cakes. What, why didn't you bring us the line? No! Oh! Oh! Cakes fine, cakes fine.

Thanks for the cake, Eric. Love it. Eric, do you want the first piece? Did you bake this yourself? Oh! You animal! Eric, here's your piece. Oh!

There you go, buddy. There you go. There you go. Thank you. Cheers. Congratulations, Eric, on 500 podcasts. Started last week. So, welcome, Sports Ball. Yes, thank you. Coming back. Thank you. Yes. Started last week. So welcome, Sports Ball. Yes, thank you.

Coming back. Thank you. Yes. I appreciate you guys having us on. I'm not sure why you had me on though. You know, that's not a good idea. I'm not sure why I'm on the sports ball. We had a good run.

Well, you guys had a good run. That's it, everybody. All right, pack it up. Five minutes over. What was it? That was it. For the podcast. You're done.

You're free. You can go. I tried that one. You've been on the podcast before. tried I have there's a few shows I cannot be canceled that I'm on why didn't you say? Because he didn't get a bowl and hopefully sports ball. Yes, so what are y'all gonna be talking about? I feel like it's a weird time like the world cups winding down at the moment like what are the big things? Oh, no, this is the perfect time. Yeah, it is because we can just talk

You could say shit. You could say shit. You could say shit. I think you asked me that for always open to you. Like, are we allowed to swear on this show? I thought anything I go on, because I've said it live on the radio before when I'm doing radio interviews.

Actually, I think it was the word cunt. Whoa, that's so much worse. Wait, wait, wait. They're on the same level. That's cool. I apologize. I had no idea what we were getting in here. Have some class.

Why'd you say cop, rape, rape? Were you talking about the Yankees? What were you talking about at the time? I don't know the way. So I probably bought up the Cowboys. There you go, the Cowboys. So what happens when you say cunt on the radio, what do the hosts do these?

So they have a dump button. They're like, no, you're good. Just don't say it again. Really? You got like 15 second buffer. But once they hit it, then you're live, Just don't say it again. Really, you got like 15 second buffer. But once they hit it, you're in seconds. Then you're live, right? No, it's eight second delay.

I actually used to be that guy that would dump bad words. I used to be a radio producer at ESPN. And so there's like an eight second delay when you screw something up. Yeah, you can bleep it. Or just cut that whole eight second. Yeah, you can just snip out that eight second. Yes, the listener will not hear it.

Everybody in the room will know. We all know what happened, but everybody else will. It's not true. And God knows what happened. When that time is cut, are you then live? Like, do you still live? Then the delay has to build back up again. Yeah.

Is that work? So then you're saying, I don't know. I don't do science. I talked for it. I'm sorry, dude. So then next time I'm on, I should say like shit. And then as soon as they beep it, just drop a follow up of cut. Yeah. Wow wow they got like

Sociopathic and I love it They got no defense like now you know their weakness wow. I'm gonna go on I'm gonna ask to go on like a Dallas Cowboys. You're not though. Nope. You're not you're not gonna do that We're gonna talk about what you go on. Oh, do I have a can I only do sports with a wrist or teeth now? Is that my car? No, no, you can't We're just going to talk about who you talk to. OK. We're just going to make sure that we're all so big. What is going on here?

They're talking about talking. Yes. So what can they expect? What can people expect from the return sport? So they can expect a lot of the same stuff that you liked, the original sports ball for. So I'm still going to be a dumbass on the show. You get to enjoy me getting things wrong.

We're still going to have fuck you Tyler. So if you guys like that segment, we're going to have that. Because too many people like to hear fuck you, Mia. That's OK. You guys can joke about it. It's fine. It's totally fine. We're also going to talk about more sports.

So one of the biggest things about getting Mia that I was really excited about is that she knows so much more about sports than I do than most people do. And hockey in particular was such a big request. People are always asking for real hockey. And Mia is, she's the expert. She knows everything hockey. So I'm excited to have her on for that knowledge. And I'm so excited for you guys to get to know Mia. She is wonderful. She knows so much about Ford. I'm trying to help us out right now. I'm just here for the cake. You're like my least favorite person already. Like we haven't even started the show. You get on my nerves all the time.

But no, she's wonderful. She knows so much. I can't wait for you guys to get to know her. So. So. So why is a man? Why did you get in a hockey? Out of all sport. Why did you get in a hockey? So I grew up playing it. I grew up in Maryland, Northeast, hockey. Woo! You guys are from Maryland? I was gonna ask. Maryland.

They're just liars. I mean, hockey and lacrosse are the two biggest sports up there, I would say. And I mean, capitals, man. Everybody's, everybody's. Yeah! That's your. It's, everybody's, yeah! Gaps you're. It's our year, it was actually our year this year.

But yeah, it's all like I grew up in Texas and I like hockey out of the blue. I'm gonna relate this for you, Gus, the capitals. That's the shirt that Pete Hines was wearing when he came out to introduce Fallout 76. That's the sports team. Is that registering with you? That's how you have to level it for him? Is that registering with you at all?

Does he think I'm an idiot? I don't know what it was. Gus, after 500 podcasts, if you're asking that question, the answer is yes. Who are you rooting for in the World Cup? That's a great question. I'm going to get to that. You just ruined it. better say it, England. Well, I'm going to get to that. But then you just ruined it. Yes, it's England.

I'm rooting for England. I can't. I hope they can, what is it, bring it home? We're bringing it home. It's coming home. It's coming home. What does that mean by the way? It's coming home.

Well, when England hosted the Euros in 1996, the chant was like, football's coming home. Because we invented football. It's coming home to England. And when you win football now, for England wins, they bring football home. I think that's what it means. So it started with a spell.

Oh, go with it. Because England was supposed to be so bad, and now it actually might be coming home. That's the amazing part about it. They have not done well to pass a couple of World Cups. Can I take off Wednesday so I can watch England lose the World Cup? So do you think they're going to lose? Well, they got a mod-rich plan.

You know, that a good team. No, England is gonna be a pro-winter. I feel like we've seen so many upsets this World Cup. Like, I feel like disproportionate. So I'm not, I would not be surprised to see a Croatia upset of England. No, I would. What is the big upset so far? Oh, there's been a time.

Germany, Mexico, Italy, Spain, was huge. Canada. What? Yeah. Like for the host country in Russia, to be Spain. I mean, Russia was the lowest-ranked team coming into the World Cup. Obviously, you know, you get to host your team automatically

gets in if you host. They had no business being where they were and to be Spain. I mean, Spain, who was the favorite coming into this thing. That was monumental. That was a gigantic upset. I didn't expect Russia to get out of the group. No, nobody did. Yeah, and they It's woke up so it's been amazing. They got way way further than I think anyone to give and I don't know if it's unpatriotic or Patriotic that I was rooting for Russia to win. I'm always rooting for Russia. That's basically our country

Yeah, no, yeah, you're rooting for the people. Yeah, it's rooting for the people. Yeah, I wanted Russia to go all the way It was weird when they put shit to got silent in there, baby. I shouldn't have said that. It was weird when they put Putin in his goalie. Yeah, I thought it was like really old-time. Really old-time. Yeah.

Do you guys are trying to score on Putin? No, really. So fucking intimidating. He plays hockey, and whenever he plays, the opposing team is not allowed to check. Take a puck from him. No one to check. Take a puck from him. No one is allowed to take a puck from him while he has it. And the goalie is not allowed to block any of his shots.

So the score ends up being 27 to 0.5. They almost got a goal and they'll give them that. It's totally career-level. The first video is on YouTube of him playing with his like beer-leaked team. Well, the best thing he ever did, and I'm gonna tell you also some information about sports ball that you need to know. The greatest thing Putin ever did sports-wise

is Robert Kraft, owner for the Patriots, came over to visit and met with Putin. And so Robert Kraft has a couple of super ball rings, courtesy of Tom Brady. And so he had one of these rings on when he met Putin and he met in like a nice presidential hallway or whatever, Putin is flanked by all his bodyguards. And Putin says, can I look at the ring?

So he gives him the ring to look at. And Putin takes it, looks at it, and then puts it on his finger, and then just disappears behind his bodyguards. No. He just takes it, it steals it. That's amazing. Robert Grapp has never gone back. But also, he couldn't object like, what are you going to do? Say, no, yeah, give me that back or go after it. Robert Krab has never gone back, but also he could have objects like what are you going to do, say no, yeah, give me that back or go

after it. They were in Russia. They're in Russia. Like your ring is gone. You're not getting your ring back. That's why Tom had to go in another one for him. That's amazing. You ever seen one in person? Superbowl ring? I have not. I think I've seen a Superbowl, but I've seen Championship Ring and they're enormous just they are Well, there are fingers. They're so big to begin with. Yeah, yeah Who pays for that? Just the individual player have to pay for it or the team buy it the team buys it for the team Yeah, it's customized for like they'll have their schedule on there sometimes is a number of diamonds out Yeah, but each team has a designer that like goes and like decides what it's gonna like, and the placement of the diamonds and the amount and the gold.

Let's go back to the big fingers. Why big fingers? Because they're like six four. And like, they're key. They're key. They're key. They're key. They're key. They're key. They're key. They're key. They're key. They're key. They're key. They're key. They're key. They're key. They're key. They're key. They're key. They're key. They're key. They're key. They're key. They're key. They're key. They're key. They're key. They're key. They're key. They're key. They're key. They're key. They're key. They're key. They're key. They're key. They're key. They're key. They're key. They're key. They're key. They're key. They're key. They're key. They're key.

They're key. They're key. They're key. They're key. They're key. They're key. They're key. They're key. They're key. They're key. They're key. They're key. They're key. They're key. They're key. They're key. They're key. They're key. They're key. They're key. They're key I'm a girl with a vagina right about here somewhere. Could be your moment, Barbara. Are the center of the back. Perfect. So big changes to sports ball this time coming back. What's one of the big changes that people

know about it besides me? I mean, you should know this. You are probably just about to talk my head here. You're probably the highest batting average for a guest across anything we've ever done at Rooster Teeth. You show up on a show, we get, we've already negotiated yourself, right?

That's already been done? Yeah, that's awesome. That's awesome. We already got that. Yeah, but usually when you show up on a show, it like the views on it absolutely so much. Probably you and Jessica Negri. Oh, wow.

Yeah, it's not like, James Buckley, that guy's a kind. So he doesn't do anything. He really hates the royal family. He does, yeah. So when it sports ball coming back, so sports ball is coming back to you. After the World Cup Final, July 16th, we are going to be airing right after this program. Sports ball is going to come on right after the RT podcast every single Monday for the first season.

Is it going to be live or is it okay? It is going to be taped. Okay. Yes. Quick turnaround on the show. I say too many offensive things. Yeah, that's actually it. Yeah, yeah.

No, really? We've already run out of our quota of offensive words, so we gotta get y'all out of here. So thanks so much for coming out. Good to see you all. Yeah, good to see you guys. I'm gonna get invoiced by the FCC. So the biggest thing though,

it was really trying to get rid of them. So the biggest change that is coming actually with Sportsball, which is really exciting, is you'll notice that we are calling this a Sportsball network. So Sportsball is going to have its own channel. It is going to have its own YouTube channel where Sportsball is going to live. It is also going to be on the Rupert's site. It is not going to be for first members, so if you just want to watch a show, you watch it on the RTC site, you can watch it on YouTube. You know what I noticed with SportsBall Network, SportsBall is not the only

show that we're going to have on that channel. So a lot of you are asking, you know, is the OG crew going to be back? You know, what about Jack? What about Jeff? What about game night? What about Barbara? A lot of those other guys. Yes, every sports fan is wondering where Barbara is. They're going to be coming back. In what capacity you guys are going to have to wait and see. What are you laughing at? What? You can talk it back.

You make me laugh. I know I make you laugh. You got me in trouble today. We'll talk about some other time. Yes, all those people are going to be coming back. There's going to be other shows coming out. We're going to do a lot of fun stuff with this. So we're going to be like a fitness show called Exercise Bull.

Yeah, we have three ideas. I like that. I just had that right then. Yeah, we'll do an exercise. Don't forget to like and subscribe and use code Mia Co. For 20% off your flat tummy too. Yes. All right, well, Sports Ball is coming back because you all

ask for it. So it's coming back on Monday. Be sure to show up and support these guys. Tyler, Mia, good to see you. Thank you for coming on. Appreciate it. You have this cake, yeah. I do want to remind everyone this episode of Receive Podcast is brought to you by quip the truth is most of us are brushing our teeth wrong

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teeth. That's g-e-t-q-u-i-p.com slash rooster teeth. ¡Qué dice! ¡Pero si tu pueblo es tan mordor! ¡Nada! ¡Está don Mirando y lo tenemos, chupá! Primero cojamos un tren a Zaragoza. Después cojamos un bus a Estaca Latalla. ¡No te lees! Este verano viaja de puerta a puerta y sin complicaciones con Blá Blácar. Siempre encontrarás una cercana, incluso a última hora. Gracias de va tu próximo viaje. ¡Ya! Blá Blá Car, Blá Blá Car!

¿Qué es eso? ¡Muchas gracias! So I was working on my technique. It's pretty good, you guys. I got, I got asked over the weekend, someone asked me if I needed a sugar baby. It's like, I was at an offer from them. It was an offer from them to be my sugar baby. Is that complete stranger?

A complete stranger. It's a name. I've never seen in my life before. Where were you? I was, I was driving down Burnett driving driving down Burnett. Let me tell a story. And I saw 7-11 and I thought I could really use a coke right now. So I was like I'm going to go into the 7-11, I'm going to get a soda. And I start pulling up to the parking lot. And there's a car with like a bunch of women getting out of it. And I think I don't

want to park next to them because they're not to get out there. They're like taking a space. They're people. So I leave a space and I park in the next space. And I get out of my car and I start walking in the 7-11. And I see that the women are all getting out of the car or all employees there. And they're like, oh, that's weird. They must just be doing a shift change or something. And I start walking into the convenience store.

And one of the women looks at me, and she looks at my car, and I got my model three recently. She sees the Tesla Model 3, and she goes, are you a doctor or something? And I go, nope. And I keep trying to walk into the store. She goes, well, what do you do? It's like, how?

Here we go. I'm like a filmmaker. And I keep trying to walk into the store. She's like, what kind of film? Oh, god damn. Oh, God damn it. Oh, man, have you ever wondered what would happen if your vagina was in a different place? Because that's what I do for a living.

So I say comedy. And she's like, oh, OK, your car's real nice. You must have a lot of money. I'm like, nice. Well, I ordered the car two years ago, so I've had advanced notice for it. And she goes, yeah, yeah. And she sees it as a dealer tag on it. She goes, oh, it's brand new, huh, so I've had advanced notice for it. And she goes, yeah, yeah. And she sees the other tag on.

She goes, oh, it's brand new, huh? I go, yep, just got it. She's really up front. And she goes, you need a sugar baby or anything? I'm like, nope, I don't. Totally okay. Anyway, and I go, anyway, see you later, take care. And she goes, see you later.

I'm working right now. And she follows me into the store. She works at 7.11? I don't like, oh my God. So then, I'm like, I just got to get my soda, get my coat out of here. I can't believe you still went for the coat. I was already in there.

I didn't know she worked until she followed me in. Or like, crap. All right, so I just like, I get my coat. And then she's working at the register. Oh, no! It's so good. Did you pull out your wallet? It was full of like $100.

She's looking in. And I walk up to the register. She goes, is that all you're getting? And I go, yeah, she goes, yeah, go ahead. It's on me. And I was like, oh boy. Okay, thank you. It's just like I turned around and walked out.

I was like, I can never go back to that store again. I think she just made you, huh, sugar baby. Yeah. Who's the real sugar baby? She gave me a lot of sugar. I think that's what I, if I were you in that position and she at like the first thing she does is ask you what you do. If I were you, I would have been like, I'm a sugar baby.

Squashed that right there. So now I know for future efforts. Can I get a flip? You didn't find out how much it was per month or a month? No, no, no, I was like, God, do you have a chance? I'm not sure. Squash that right there. So now I know for future efforts. Can I get a flip? You didn't find out how much it was per month or a month. No, no, no, I was like, God, do you have a chance? And you blew it. You were right in there.

I can go back. I can go back to the store and ask her. Was she cute? Does that matter? Would you suffer some? She wasn't my type. Politically correct. I don't know what your type is.

So I have a, it's funny that you say that where she walked in with you. I don't want to tell the story, but I'm going to tell it anyway. God damn it. So my shoulder bugs me a little bit. And I go on a fairly regular basis, I go and have my shoulder worked on it.

I go to a massage therapist and I get a massage, Barbara, they massage my shoulder to fix it. What did they do? They massage it. And one more time. So I hadn't gone in a while, hadn't gone in like two months, I was going regularly, then something happened where I did a thing where I had an appointment, then forgot I had an appointment. Did it shut off? And I had an appointment Did it shut off and I didn't go and shut off and because I missed the appointment I was like embarrassed so didn't go back at all for like two months finally went back called in I was on my

Phone in my car Fuck so I called in I called the place It's just like this club like it's like you pay 40 bucks a month and they give you one massage a month. And you go, so I said, I need to make an appointment for this week. And they said, what do you want to do deep tissue or relaxation? I said, I'm working on my shoulders, so I need to do deep tissue.

And so they said, OK, we'll have this person, this person, this person. I said, I'll take this person. The name is Larry. I'll say, I'll take Larry, because I can do it at 3 o'clock. And they were like, OK, they're like, great. What do you laugh at about Gaff? You freaked out. Did I have a maleousseuse? I'm surprised, I'll

be honest. Really? Why? I only know two people named Larry. One is the one who works for a Chi Minhunter. The other is my dad. I was a match name father's dad. But like, I go to male mousseuse because they can usually they're stronger, no offense, and they can get in deeper. In the hours on me. So, and then sometimes they let get in deeper. And wharers on me. And then sometimes they let me blow them. So that's the reason I go to a massage. No big deal. Now I really don't want to tell the rest of the story.

So I'm driving. So I make this appointment, and I'm all nervous about missing my appointment again, because I missed the last one. So I go, hey Siri, beauty comes up. I say, make an appointment, massage appointment tomorrow at three o'clock with Larry and she goes, okay, she goes on your appointment tomorrow, massage appointment with Larry. Do you want me to schedule it? I said, yeah, confirm. She goes, okay. About an hour later, Larry herb, major Nelson from Xbox Live, calls me, hey, Bernie, I got this request for an appointment tomorrow. And I have a lot of conflicts at that point.

I don't think I can make this meeting. Oh, shit. I wanted to die. I wanted to die. I was like, this meeting? Holy shit! I was, I wanted to die. I wanted to die. I was like, I was bringing a meteor, it was gonna hit the air. And it just killed us all. And he was, he took it, you know, he's a very nice gracious guy, ultimate professional, right?

He was, he took it stride, and then I looked later, and I was overly embarrassed about it, and he was very like, oh, no, no, no, no, no, it happens all the time. Then I looked and thank God, thank God. I looked and it just made the appointment as Mr. appointment. That's what it was called, because it was Syrian,

and it like didn't understand me. So it left the massage thing off, so it left him a such thing off. But it recognized him from my contacts and just mailed him and said, hey come to this mess. So at least it sounds like the story had a happy ending. Oh. Oh. I was mortified.

But I'm absolutely mortified by that. That's such a dangerous feature. Oh, it could have been so much worse. It could have been way worse. What's the worst Larry? It could have been. What if you could have been your dad? Yeah, that would have been part to explain to my dad.

Yeah, so Bernie wants you to give him a massage or give you a massage. I'm not quite sure. I'm not going to share another Larry in my contacts, it probably would ask me to confirm which one, but it's only because I just had. I'm just confused why you had to specify that it was Larry.

You couldn't just, you know, this was a little massage. I want to say, rubs at three. What, like, I don't know. I'll need to think about that bar. What, so he knows when he goes to the place, like, who's he meeting with?

It reminds him. So how is this fomeness? What's that? Oh, he was great. How's the shoulder feeling? It feels better, but it's like, I don't know. I feel like it feels better as soon as you get out of there, and then just I'm old. So it just kind of dries out after a while, and then it just goes all creaky and everything

like that. Do you have that thing where, well Gus, you have this like when you stand up, something on your body is going to pop, like some joint is going to pop. It's my left leg, normally my left knee. You guys don't have that, right? I do. Oh, do you? Yeah.

God, I just like every time I get up in the couch, that's just like holding down. The worst is not that something pops. The worst is that I make a noise. Anytime I stand or anytime I sit down, like when I sit down, I was like, oh, it's like, God, when did that start? It's just involuntary reflex. I've been noticing, I've been spending a lot more time

on planes lately and I've been noticing that my butt has started going numb if I sit for too long. Mm-hmm. Is that something that happens to everyone? Or am I sitting wrong? That happens to me only on planes. I feel like the cushioning is so thin and my ass is so bony. The weirdest part and I think I've talked about this either on Always Open or the podcast before and ladies if you've had this before. One

part of your vagina goes numb. Right? But it's like only half of it. It's never the full thing. Side to side or front to back cat? Side to side. So you're like, so we're just vulva, like just lame. It's usually just like one of the lips. I'm too excited. So your badge looks like this, it's like, I don't know.

And like just had a tooth pulled at the dentist. I wonder if that would be a turn off. As a guy, if you were just delving down there and one side had a stroke. Like, what would you? It's a lot better than finding a tooth. I can guarantee you that That would be the turn off Hey, so I want to do something but before I do that I want to I want to see something in y'all's head so this is the 500th Rooster Teeth podcast

500 of these things and over the course of 500 podcasts. We said a lot of things And over the course of 500 podcasts, we said a lot of things Nah, we said a lot of things a couple of different times It's like 30 days non-stop of podcast. Yeah. What was it Eric had the number for us 30 and a half days? Yeah, it's a it's basically March almost is what we had we should start a podcast challenge What's that have see if anybody can listen to all 500 episodes of that sleeping? Oh, got it. No, what?

Stop back to back to back to back. That's literally impossible. Oh, no, no. We got the tide pod challenge run at the RT podcast challenge. We're going to bring Ezra on a little bit later, but I actually think one of the only things that's ever been shut down by legal said you absolutely can't do this was for day five season two, I wanted to have a contest with two people

from the community to see if they could stay awake with medical supervision for five days. And legal was like, there's no fucking way you're gonna do that. And I was proving that like the research we did for day five, there was a kid in the 60s who stayed awake, but for 11 days, he's actually referenced in the show. And I said, so yeah, it can totally be done.

They're like, no, we're not doing that. You will kill someone. Have they never heard of a waiver? You just sign that, you're good. Yeah, we should try the waiver. That's a good idea. I mean, you make me sign them all the time. There's nothing to hold of it.

It's true upon meeting people, just make them sign it. So because this is 500 podcasts, I thought it would be a great idea if we look back over those 500 episodes and we choose three different moments for each of us. So each of us tonight gets a clarification. You can clarify some point that you made over the course of all these episodes that you didn't come across correctly on, and you thought later, oh, I should have said this, or I should have said that, clarify one thing,

you can have your eye was right moment, the moment that you were proven to write sometime in the last nine and a half years, and then we're gonna give each of us a retraction that we all had bad moments on the podcast, we're gonna choose the moment that we can just say, that moment didn't happen, it is retracted, and we will never mention it again. But like us and the audience?

Sure, yeah, they can't mention it. They can't mention it. You all are on the hook too. Good luck with that. Alright, so be thinking about that. Okay, we'll be thinking about that. We'll be thinking about that. Okay, so we'll come back to that later in the show.

In the meantime though, one of the most popular things we've done over the last 500 episodes. Old double goss. They're gonna be so disappointed when we introduced the rest of the shows at Clip Show. Oh, are we counting that one? Yeah, oh yeah. Yeah, it's just gonna be us

for being a favorite version. That's it. We're just gonna repeat stories so it'll be like the last 499 episodes as well, when we repeated stories, nonstop. One of our favorite things we've done over the last 500 episodes is we have played a game in which we have pitted young Gavin free against the juggernaut search engine known as Google.com. In a game we like to call Gavin or Google. Do you guys want to play?

All right. Gavin or Google. Google or Gavin? Which one said it? Let's find out. Hey, what feeling lucky? All right. That was really loud. If you have never played Gavin or Google before,

the way we play the game is, I take a two to four word phrase, and I type it into the search engine Google. And I find the most ridiculous autocomplete based on searches that people have made using that term. I then take that same two to four word phrase. I give it to Gavin free, and we try to figure out who said it. Gavin or Google?

Bing. Are you ready to play? God's so barb-a-bra. Yeah, I'm just gonna, for the sake of this, we're gonna wipe the record clean. This is for everything. Wipe, wipe, wipe. This is for-

But I've won so many. I know, but that doesn't count. This takes the first 500 podcasts. Throws them out. The whole trophy. This is the World Cup. This is for the next 500. This is. All right.

OK. It's always hard to figure out which one to read first. All right. Which one said this? Gavin or Google, why does a dog having sex with your leg not break the law? But if you jerk the dog off, it does. Yes. Yes. Can I get a repeat on that?

Wait, what's the phrase you put into Google? What's, oh, sorry, the phrase that I put in, why does a dog? Okay. Why does a dog? Everyone, it's why does a dog? I said dog like my mother. Dog.

Dog? Stay away from that dog, Michael, it's gonna bite you. So either dad or Google said, why does this dog have sex with your leg not break the law but jerking off the dog does. Does jerking off a dog break the law? Uh, yeah, Gus. Hey, Eric, next week we need a dog for the podcast. What's that? What's that? It's a two of them. Kidding's vagina be right over here. All right.

Then the other phrase for why he does a dog. Why does a dog eat its own throw up, but it won't eat mine Barber do you want to go first which one was Gavin and which one was Google? I say both of them are Gavin Will a dog not eat human vomit? I'm going to say the... What the fuck? I'm going to say the jerking off one is Gavin. Gus?

Oh, that's convenient because I think the vomit one is Gavin. Barbara Duncan can get to point. That was Gavin. Barbara, don't come and get to point. That was Gavin. Explain. Explain. I mean, it's the same outcome. One of them is illegal. The result of the same. What is active in one is passive, though. I can't believe that there would be a law about that. I thought we lived in a I'm just guessing like small government state They don't need them regulating my life Actually don't even know how you would joke off a dog. Do you do you help it get to red rocket or do you help it once red rocket?

I don't have a dog. I don't really know how any of that works. Hey, Gus, I have your candidate for a retraction whenever you want it. I'm curious, that's all. I'm just saying whatever one's thinking. Hey, no, here's what I'm learning. He said the end result is the same. I'm learning that Gavin has had dogs hump his leg to completion. I've never had to happen. I assume if you don't kick him off, that's what they do. They'll finish. Yeah, don't they him off, that's what they do. They'll finish?

Yeah, don't they finish? I don't know, Gavin. Has anyone had a dog finish on their legs, leaves? You don't have to answer that. You paid to be here. You don't have to answer that. Normally, you'll even get like a joke hand, raise it, it wasn't none. Yeah, this guy put his thumbs up.

I think it was a thumb. I'm not sure. It was something that went up. Is this the proudest moment of your life right now? Oh, my God. Can that guy sound a waiver, please? I'm very, very great. What was it any different to when you joked off the dog?

Oh. Oh. We got to find out. It's a family show. No, it's not. All right, so Barbara has one point. Gus has the big goose egg. Next thing I entered into was, which one should I pick?

Okay. Can people, can people, dot, dot, dot? One asked, can people produce any other liquids while lactating? Orans juice? I should have that wrong. Can people produce any other drinks while lactating? Drinks. That significantly changes that nature. It's a huge, huge difference.

And the other one was slightly more simple. Can people get fleas? Can people get fleas? Can people get fleas? I don't know. That's a good question. Yeah, of course people can get fleas. When did you have fleas? You took off a dog.

And that's why there's a law. Because of fleas of fleas. All right, guys, since you're behind, which one is Gavin? Which one was Google? I think the lactating one was Gavin. Barb? I was going to say the same thing because specifically, the word, drinks.

OK, so I went back and reread it and it's drinks. Yeah, the fact that he said drinks, I absolutely know that's Gavin. So the score is not going to change here. Barbara's still going to be leading by a point. What if it was Bev's? You each get a point that was Gavin. So can a human ever make any other drink? Well, I assume at some point it's water,

and then something else gets added to it to make it milk here. I don't know why that's so milk. You think that a woman's breast is like a compartment of powdered milk and a compartment of water that gets like mushed together in the nipple at the last second? At some point it's just water, water right and the body makes it milk

Is it it must be I don't think that's the way it works is it not no I was thinking maybe one day water would just come out Possibly I don't think that's possible all right. We've a little bit a lot We We. I just got Beckett. I'll get back to it. Beckett just texted me something here, though. She said, did we ever talk about Australia being upside down?

With Beckett? I know you guys talked about it being... Maybe she's suggesting that that's what I should retract. You should retract, then. No, fuck you. That's why I was right moment. No. Australia is not upset down.

Fuck off, it's the rules. Alright, last question, unless you guys have a tie. God, there's so many stupid ones on here. Who is this? In chat, Grim View says that's called sweat, Gavin. But this is sweat from the cap. You can't pour salt water. I baked a differ.

I just put a cover on my armpit. Let's do that. This is, did we go? That's what it comes right. This is, did we go? Did we go? Did we go? One of the groups asked, did we go to war last night? Who the horrible world we live in. The other asked, did we go to the moon when it was full? I mean, I can kind of see the logic behind that.

Like what phase of the moon did we see on Earth? Like, could we have looked into telescope and seen them? Yeah, like I could see the collective humanity being dumb enough to ask that question. That's an interesting one. Who has to go first? I'm gonna let you go first, because you're behind. But Barbara should go first.

That way she just can't choose your answer in one. Okay, Barbara, Barbara, you gotta go first because you're behind. Barbara should go first. That way she just can't choose your answer. Okay, Barbara, Barbara, you gotta go first. Fuck. It's a very official game. See, what I do, this is the process for Gavin or Google. I listen to both answers in Gavin's voice. I figure out what you want to sound some more like him. Do we go, whoa last night.

I can't. I can't. Do we go to the last night? I can't. I can't. Oh, do we go to the moon when it was four? The moon was waxing crescent when we landed on it for the first time. What's waxing? You see that tiny little sliver on the right side? It's the opposite on the right side. Wax on Wainov on the right side? Yes.

Wax on Wainov. So it is? Yes. So it's a dead? All right. So Wax is right. And Wain is left? Yes.

God. This one's hard. I'm going to say the did we go to war last night was Gavin. Guess what would you like to say? I'm going to say the moon one was Gavin, just to mix it up here. Wait, John, we have a tie. I said.

I can see why. I felt like that's a classic Gavin misdirect where you look at the question on its surface and it seems absolutely stupid, but there is a rationale behind it. Well, I was thinking every bad publicity if it was full. Because more people are looking at the moon when it's full. You don't really know what the moon was. When we landed on it, it was only 4% visible. Yeah.

I think that's a mistake. Yeah. Do we have a tie-breaker question? So do they land in the dark? We do. What time was it on the moon when they landed? Was it day or night? Why don't I know these things? Gavin, it has to be night because the moon when they landed? Was it day or night? Why don't I know these things?

Gavin, it has to be night because the moon is out. Ha ha ha ha. Think about it. It's always night on the moon. They had no moonlight to light the way either, so this is pitch black. Yeah, that's hot when you're on the the mood. Alright, we have a tiebreaker. And so just going to the tiebreaker, Barbara, I hope you're okay with this.

You guys have to choose a different answer and I'm going to allow Gus to go first because he has the most appearances on the podcast and has done a effectively mediocre job over the course of 500 episodes of producing the podcast. Yup. over the course of 500 episodes of producing the podcast. Yep. Oh. Is this the show we've done with the most episodes? It is, right? Uh, Red versus Blue. No, but Red versus Blue isn't weekly.

Oh, it's true, true. Yeah, I mean, we started the podcast much later. Yeah, but it's probably, it's probably this RTA is. This RTA would be the second longest, and it's probably, it's probably this RTA is. RTA would be the second longest and that's the right derivative. Yeah. Yeah, I think it is. Whatever, that's worse. Good for us.

See, aim your sights for mediocrity. That's the secret to longevity. That's not a real word and I just fucked it up. But I'm going to stand by it. That's why you're mediocre. That's why you're mediocre. And the lesson to be learned there is you can't get canceled on the internet. Unless you're a Tyler.

Even if me a Khalifa comes down to the whole thing. I've never been ever before. So this is our last one. This is for the championship, the World Cup of Gavin Rgoogle. The phrase is, how much? How much? How much house is too much house? How much house is too much house? The other is, how much is a human body worth if sold by parts? How much is the human body worth if sold in parts?

I do like that whoever submitted that, whether it's Gavin or somebody on Google, knows how much the body's worth on it. Like this whole full tunnel. They just want to break down. All right. Gus, you get to go first. No pressure. Lots of pressure.

Are you feeling pressure? Feel a lot of pressure. There's pressure. I'm going to go with how the body parts is Gavin. Thank God. I was going to go the parts is Gavin? Thank God I was gonna go the house is Gavin. How much house is too much house? You were headed anyway? Yeah.

Ladies and gentlemen, holy shit. Your champion is Mr. Gus Arola. Wow. Hey, look at this. I didn't know there was a medal! What the fuck? Oh, man, so harsh! Thank you, yeah.

I mean, that is the whole game right there. That looks terrible in the wide, by the way. Put in white hoods on me. So when we, that was actually part, I think this is the part of the meeting where Gus left, was when you were talking about the DUNCE cap. And we got into the debate of whether or not a DUNCE cap was ever actually used over what was just something that, somebody at some point made up. And we looked at photos and you're right, it does look like they're training early

clansmen because they're all like photos from the 20s and they're little kids. Are they white too? Yeah, I think the only white kids could go to school back then. I don't know, it's a long time ago. Oh, the hats our white. Yeah. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Why is this? Oh. Oh. It's not me. It's the country. Y'all live here too. I felt like, uh, yeah.

I was wondering if it was just like a cartoon thing or if it was a real thing that actually happened. And you know, I looked it up and you can find like historic photos of children in classrooms wearing dunce caps Like that was really a thing could you imagine doing that to a kid today? You put them in the corner and put a dummy hat on them When when I was in second grade If our teacher caught you chewing gum, she would make you put it on your nose for the rest of the day Yeah

And if she caught you talking in class when you weren't supposed to be talking, she would duct tape your mouth shut. There was a teacher who didn't let one of my classmates go to the bathroom and we were in the second grade, so she sent him to the corner because he was complaining too much and he shat himself in the corner. Oh my God. Did she feel terrible about that? Oh no.

Yeah. We did. Yeah. Classroom smell like shit for the next four weeks. Honestly, it's probably one of the most important events in that person's life. I mean, really, you think about that forever. Well, look at me. I remember it. It's much easier to learn nowadays thanks to the internet. And I want to remind everyone this episode of the

RESTEEF Podcast is also brought to you by Yudhemy. Yudhemy is the largest and most accessible online learning marketplace with the most courses, teachers, and opportunities for students everywhere around the globe. With over 65,000 courses, Yudami is the largest space for online learning. I just started taking a Photoshop class today. I decided that's it.

I'm done being terrible at Photoshop. I saw they had one, so I'm going to get through it. We'll see. Maybe I'll make something. I'll see if I can make something good when I'm done. UDME has something for everyone and you can access new knowledge wherever you are on your phone, tablet or computer. You guys need to check out UDME. They help students all over the world improve their skills, their careers, and their lives. They've helped us set up this exclusive offer for our audience. You go to

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Thank you, Udemy, for sponsoring this episode of the Ristid podcast. Thank you. I'm going to walk up to the bar. I'm going to get a bib. Do you think they have typing on there? Why? I still can't type.

You still can't type? I know. Do you still do fingers? Do you do fingers on each end and my clothes? I realize I don't use my pinky to type at all I just kind of hold it out awkwardly like it's trying to escape the rest of my fingers Did you take a type in class? Did you know?

So you guys just taught yourself how to type well, I don't know how many fingers I have I look how many keys that were and I thought I can spread this out. How do you run in pub G? What Gavin that's like saying you learned a language by counting the number of words. I mean, it's like, how does that help? Lurk typing is a skill. Okay, let me ask you this. Why don't you type with just one finger? Because I have 10.

That's what I'm saying. Yeah, but I mean, I have 10 fingers, but which key goes for which finger? That's a whole thing. Does it matter unless like you could do it? So you just thought yourself to type I mean I can type I can't believe you still can't type We used to make fun of you for this in season one. We would watch you sitting there writing the script We'd be like, oh my god. Are you really doing this with two fingers? Yeah. Whoa. Oh, how are you holding that microphone right now? You're nailing it. Or did you just pick up the damn microphone

because that's instinct? Gavin, this is a weird thing. People learn how to type. It's a thing that people actually, did you take a typing class? I took a typing class. I mean, raise your hand if you're under the age of 50 and you took a typing class. That's not true. That was an American thing.

The entire body, every single person in the room That's awesome. That was an American thing. That's an American thing. The entire party. The entire party. Every single person in the room for the hand. That was like 90% of them. Yeah. My argument fell apart. I'm amazed. Everyone else who didn't raise their hand can't fucking tie.

I'm curious, if you did not raise your hand, can you raise your hand now? Right, but you can still type, right? Everyone can type. It's a waste of time. In the end, if you think about it, you end up saving more time if you can type quickly over the course of your life, because you get through your typing a lot more. Who says you can't type quickly if you didn't take a class, though?

You can definitely type more quickly if you're taking a class. All right, teach me something from your typing class. I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that.

I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that.

I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that. I will destroy you. Are we going to do the type-off before or after the office suck off? Which we have yet to do.

You've heard me on the mechanical keyboard before. You know I can tear it up. Well, congratulations Gus. I am over here trying to think of something that would be more boring than a typing contest, and I literally can't think of it. 500 episodes, people are still listening. Also, I hate looking over and seeing you in that metal. I don't know why. Feels like we just had a spelling bee or something, or a math camp. So, if everything you do, you took a class? Not everything, Gavin. It's a normal thing to learn to type.

Did you learn how to write? How did you do that? Well, because I actually had to learn letters, like learn language and stuff. So I was taught that. So you've already passed the first day of typing class where they teach you the letters. You're way ahead. Do you know the numbers too because that's day two. Right, coming from the guy who doesn't want to use 24 hours

because it's too hot to do maths. Is too hot to add 12 to a number? No, I'm fine with it. I just don't want to use it because I'm American. And this is our way superior, that's it. That's it. Yeah, I'm in your country. Well, listen, we were just talking about taking the trip over for our takes to London, going to over London, it's in London. And we were talking about how it's left hand drive, but I was talking to somebody who went from Ireland to Northern Ireland, and the only way they knew that they had changed countries They were expecting like a checkpoint or something like that But the only way they knew they had changed countries was they went from kilometers in

Ireland two miles and miles per hour in the UK So you guys just choose whatever you want basically you guys use miles per hour in the UK? Mm-hmm. I didn't know that either. Yeah, I thought they would have been Kilometers. Yeah, I'll admit it's a mess over that. We don't know. We don't know that either. Yeah, I thought they would have been kilometers. Yeah. I'll admit, it's a mess over that. We don't know what to choose from. So, Brexit's not gonna happen, right?

No, it's definitely happening. Is it? Who's the dude who just resigned? Boris Johnson resigned because Brexit's not gonna, this is political portion of the podcast. Theresa May's Brexit outline was not hard enough. She's aiming for a hard Brexit, not a hard Brexit, so three ministers have resigned and protest over that.

How soft do you like your Brexit? I like my Brexit over easy. I like a full English Brexit. So you'd get along with Boris Johnson then. Do you like it deep tissue Brexit? If you're trying to point out, everyone has made a pun except me in this podcast. Don't make that joke. He's a major Nelson right me and say,

why am I leaving the EU? Do you want to do your first clarification or attraction? Oh, okay, let me pull it. I had time to prepare this. So I actually have mine written down. What should we do? What should we do? What should we do?

What should we do? We do this about five minutes before the live show. Cool. Have you thought you were going to write that thing? I've got mine. I know. I'm all over it. I, you thought you were. I've got mine. I know. I'm all over it. I have two and a three. Oh, I got my clarification.

OK, go. I want to clarify something. I want to clarify two things. You get one. Bitch. Well, do you want me to clarify yours for a few minutes? No, I'm just saying, if I could do two, I would have said I wasn't pooping in the room when Joel was

taking the shower as only peeing. But I'm not saying, if I could do two, I would have said I wasn't pooping in the room when Joel was taking the shower, it was only peeing. And I was, but I'm not gonna say that because, I wanna say this one instead. You make a game and you break the rules. So, I'll meet with a story that became an RTA where we were at Michael and Lindsay's wedding. And I convinced Monty that he could cut the cake while they were out taking pictures.

And then Monty went, oh, he's like, I'm so hungry. And I said, well, Monty, that's why the cake is sitting out right there. So I just go get yourself these, because yeah, but nobody else has gotten a cake yet. I go, yeah, but they're just waiting. Just go ahead and do it, dude. I'll go with the Algonopiece, too. And then of course, when he started walking, I like just hung back, like, oh my God. And he got the knife.

And she and his wife was like, what are God. And he got the knife and she knows, his wife was like, what are you saying? What are you doing? I wore a clarify. I would have never let Monty cut the cake, actually. I would have just seen how close Monty was going to come to actually cutting the cake. You don't know how Fosty could have chopped that with a knife.

He is quick, he was quick, yeah. It's like Brandon touching the wire. Yeah. Anime eyes. So I would have clicked to clarify. I would not have let Monty cut the cake and Michael and Lindsay's wedding. I swear I would not have.

Fair enough. People were very offended that I was. I don't have a clarification, but I have, I was right moment. That's what you do. Shocking. The iPhone 4s came out with only one model. That's not true. There are multiple models. This has been pretty much on. There was only one for us. Oh yeah, well my, my

eye was right was you can't buy fucking butter in one stick. You, you absolutely can't. We've been looking for a year and a half and nobody's found it. People tweet it to you all the time. It's the fucking garlic butter. They've also tweeted normal butter. No, no. I was right. Hey, guess what? I was right about that.

That's the rules. It's going to kill me. I was right. Well, I have a retraction. So I couldn't basically erase this from history, right? Yes. We can't ever bring it up again. I never said headlight fluid.

I don't know if I could top that one. I have a serious retraction. It's something that's been bothering me for literally five and a half years. You all know what it is. On one of the first year I was on the RT podcast, I was very nervous all the time, and I would say a lot of really, really stupid incompetent shit. And one of the things I talked about was Twitter

and how people, I don't understand why people who don't have a lot of followers tweet. I explain that so badly, and I just want to retract that from history forever and always, and no one is ever allowed to reference that conversation ever again, because I was a fucking idiot. All right, it's gone. It's deleted from the internet. Thank you, please. In that vein, I just want to say, I would not have molested the kid. I really... I would like to retract that statement.

That I was going to go into the public bathroom and molest the kid. That was just a joke. All right. I want to retract that forever. I want to retract the discussion about airplanes on treadmills. I don't ever want to talk about... Please don't! ... an airplane on a treadmill ever again. What did you say?

I didn't say anything. It didn't happen. I have a... I was right moment. Alright. It is perfectly fucking normal to pee in the shower. Yes. Yes. It is.

Apparently, Barbara's right. Yep. In 2012, we went to a movie premiere and we were brushed by Donald Trump. We were, as we walked in, and right after that happened, I said some things about Donald Trump. And I said that he just makes shit up and he lies all the time and I was right All right any clarifications or anything like that I think I speak very clearly. I don't need to clarify anything There was also two iPhones.

I just want to be sure of all of the same thing. There were not two iPhone 4s. We were talking about the 4s. I was right. There was two. I'm giving you butter. You better give me this one. All right.

Fair play. Fair play. All right. That's our clarification. Yeah, you want to bring right, that's our clarification. Yeah, you want to bring out our other guest? Sure, why not? Yeah, so as I said at the top of the podcast,

we're going to bring out Mr. Ezra Cooper-Steen. Ezra, why don't you come on out? Ezra is the president of Rucer-T. Nope. Does that say here? Just, you know, one of the things we've mentioned on the podcast a while ago, we haven't talked about it since, is that you and Matt have been talking about doing, like, for our first members doing, like, a behind the scenes of business things.

You were in the vlog, I did, that was all about, like, what Roocheryte's is like as a business. And people just love that vlog, and they just want to see more of that stuff. Yeah, how does it make money? I've been trying to figure that out. It's all YouTube. Do we have enough time? No, do you have enough time?

Yeah, I mean, it's something that I'm passionate about. I know Matt is too, but Roushurtheath has such this vibrant community. And it's really important, I think, for us to, like, demystify what this business is. And so, how can we pull back the curtain a little bit? How can we talk about some of the things that we do that are really, you know, business decisions, but impact every single person who enjoys and loves Rousseur-Geth, who's been with us for years and years and years.

How can we explain a little bit deeper what the decision-making is, how it impacts the business, and ultimately how it impacts the community. And I think that's probably not gonna be the most watch show that we ever make, but I think it's an important one for us to do. Just get me a cleaf on there. Yeah, I heard that gets a high hit rate. Yeah, got high bad at average.

Yeah. So it's something that we're mountaineering up doing soon. And I'm pretty excited about. Yeah, so I mean, it was obviously when we did the whole thing with full screen, there was a lot of trepidation, I think. I think people were like, oh, shit, they could be trying to figure out all the ways

that this could go wrong. But really, you know, going back to that point in time, which is like 2011, Matt and I were thinking about the way the world was kind of changing around us. For a lot of times, Gus, we felt like we were kind of operating in plain sight as a company. And nobody was really paying attention to us. And we're like, we just kind of had our business model

like wide out in the open. But everyone else was doing like all this weird stuff, you know, like going all in on YouTube or building their whole presence on Facebook and stuff like that. And so about 2011, when things really started changed, it was when everyone really started to discover the digital video online world. The Netflix was like a big push in that direction.

And so Matt and I were thinking, okay, we were a huge part of the first chapter of online video as an industry Wanted to be make sure we were part of the next chapter and so we realized we're gonna have to go out and get some investment Like a traditional business. We're gonna have to go do that and we knew two things were gonna happen when we did that We knew that the moment we took a single dollar people were gonna ask us to Go out and start an MCN, which that was a big thing at the time You know an MCN is basically a was a big thing at the time. You know, an MCN is basically a multi-channel network, like

machine-a-ma. You know, they gathered up a bunch of channels and put them in a big network. I mean, a big one, like 50,000 different channels. And we also knew that they would ask us to find a management team, people who would run a more traditional business and a media company. And so looking down the road at that, started you know that whole process and then we met Ezra and George the CEO of full screen and Ezra was the president of full screen at the time We thought if we could hire two guys like this if we could manage to make that happen these are the kind of guys that we would

Want to find so it just made sense for us to do that deal with full screen especially because y'all already had an MCN that was that is 80,000 channel partners, right? It was big. Yeah. It was really big. So we were like, you know, to Rupert Heath, we were like, let's not do that because that's what we already know how to do. I mean, going back to why, you know, for us looking on the other side of the table, you

were guys were doing something and had something that was so intrinsically valuable, so cool, so different So something that was you know MCN we realized was actually quite easy to build like what Rupert's teeth was was something that was like super hard to build It was like really amazing content and this huge global community of people to loved it and Like that was exciting for us. So for us, we didn't need you to build the MCN. Yeah, and then Ezra was being the president of Fullstream, was working on his on a regular basis. And basically said one day, it's like, I just like what you guys are doing, we had a long talk about it. Now Ezra became the president of ResearchEath and has moved from LA, moved

this whole family now, he lives in all of St, Texas with us every single day of the week. So I saw some. I saw a comment in chat. Someone wanted to ask you a question and we're looking at the chat here on the live stream. And Zola Good, 93 asked, did full screen acquire Richie just so you get a job here? I like that strategy. If you want a job at Rich Rishi just buy the company.

Yeah. In some ways, actually, we bought Rishi, so I could be on the Rishi Teeve podcast. There you go. So this is all worked out for me. No, it's funny. Wait, after this, is that done? Yeah, I'm done.

No, it's funny, because when you kind of, I mean, I've been involved with Rishi Teeve Not, you know, since I became president, but really for the last, over three years, for the first couple of years, every single week I'd fly back and forth between LA and Austin, and then moved out here full time in November of this, of last year. But, you know, when you join Rooster Teeth, there's kind of this, like, this undercurrent of, like, people say, like, you know, hey, you should not try to be on shows

and, like, don't be, like, you know, that's kind of, like, a thing that you don't want to necessarily do. Takes your life, yeah. Yeah, yeah, and so, like, you know, that's kind of like a thing that you don't want to necessarily do. It takes your life. Yeah, yeah. And so like, you know, I was like, okay, I'll stay in the business side of this thing. So it's actually really fun to finally like sort of step out of the shadows and, you know, I'm not going to be part of the business, I'm just going to be like full talent. So, let's do this thing. So we're looking for a new president now. Just as long as you don't take over my role on Ruby, I'm okay. So let's do this thing. So we're looking for a new president now. Just as long as you don't take over my role on Ruby, I'm OK.

I was actually going to go for always open. Yeah, but I think too, it's like a lot of times, when I read audience reaction stuff, they always attribute kind of the negative stuff that we do to full screen sometimes. It's not the case. In a lot of cases, I want to talk about a negative thing after you get through this.

Yeah, really? OK, but it's like, as one of these always loves you, since you come on, or are we starting working at it, you kind of push this in directions that we wouldn't have gone before. I'm sure you'll correct me and say, you're not fully responsible with these. But I give you full credit for the double gold box.

That was an idea that came about because you were trying to figure out a way to make, you know, more valuable for people to be top level subscribers, and then you were also the person behind the lifestyle shirts, the barber shirts and the Jeff shirts, like you really wanted to do those things, and we just weren't have done those. Yeah, I mean I always wanted to be a fashion designer. Through like, I think it was amazing watching you interact with Jeff. Getting that product launch initially. Yeah, I was like, hey Jeff, I like that shirt you're wearing.

Is that a Ruse or T shirt? He's like, no, no, it's just like, you know, whatever website I was from. I like it. And it's just a white and black shirt. I'm like, that should be a Ruse or T shirt. Let's just a white and black shirt. I'm like, that should be a Ruser T shirt. Let's just go do that. And he was like, you know, looking at me and kind of looked at him and I kind of stared

a little deeper at him and a little deeper and a little deeper into his soul. And then he was like, yeah, we should probably do that. So. That's kind of how the whole like Jeff line things started. Yeah, and because of that, then I got to do a line. Yeah, that's been fun. Well, it's one of those things, sometimes you need that push from the outside.

I mean, we would never do that. We would never, previously, we wouldn't have, like going to Jeff and saying, Hey, we're going to make a line of shirts and we're going to call it the Jeff shirts. He'd be like, no, we're not going to put my my name on a shirt like I'm a fashion designer or something like that Yeah, no people would like this. They like your style, they like what you're doing Barbell, you know people look up to the you know your audience from always open really Jeff, you know, it's just kind of like you got to hit the right point and like the Jeff ego You know, you gotta be like like you know, like, you know, Michael Jordan has his own brand, so you know, you know, it's fun working with Amy So

Creative and so smart. You know, it's a lot of, it's like a lot of things that I've been able to, you know, to feel were really great things to do once I was able to sort of dive in fully into Rooster Teeth, you know, Teeth. You guys had such a great business and such a great foundation and so many great talented people. It was really like, kid in a candy store when I came over here because it was like, OK, now we can go do more content. We can hire people that fit our culture,

but can help us move faster. We can go do all these new things. We can create more content. It was all things that we were able to help empower, and then it's continued to grow. And I'm very proud of what we've all accomplished in the last several years. It's been nuts.

Yeah, it's been, it's pretty crazy. I think it's gone really well. I can't believe it's already going to be four years coming up later this year that that happened. Yeah, when you acquire companies, it's really this weird thing where the process of acquiring a company is like, you do this whole meet and greet and like a dating thing and you're like, learning about the company.

And they give you like a big pitch book and like, Matt and Bernie were like, constantly like, giving us these all these slide presentations. And the whole time in your head, you're kind of like, you have to have this skepticism. You're like, is this really that good? You know, this is going wrong? I mean, is this as good as it gets? With Rooster Teeth, it's one of these companies where I think that it's better and better.

It's better than what I could have ever imagined. Maybe because you guys are so genuine and so truthful in the way that you represented the business. We should have Ezra on the podcast tomorrow. All right. Did you think it's possible to sell a company without using PowerPoint? Let me think about that. That's like a Gavin or Google style question.

Let's find out. Let's go sell the company. Like how good with these slides. Anybody have Disney's number? They give them a call. They're buying a lot of companies. Yeah, it's like a PowerPoint such like the language of business. It's like, you know, who's your favorite person to work with? Or is Steve my favorite person?

I Mean It's like my I've got three kids is always like I was fuck with my wife every day I'm like, you know, I really like Sammy the most you know to be totally honest like Matt is a genius. Yeah. Matt is, you know, he's amazing. He's a, you know, no offense to anyone on the stage and anyone at the company, we have a huge,

incredibly talented team. But, maybe the chosen anybody else, Matt would have just fired them, so. Yeah. It's all, it's been good. You think somebody to drop? Matt is, he's like, it's so good. You saved somebody to drop. No, Matt is, I've worked a lot of really smart people.

He is the top of anyone I've ever worked with in my entire career. You worked a ton of places too. You've been in an online video as long as Ryshutie's been around. My problem would longer, right? Yeah, I've been in the space for a long time. And it's been a natural progression to get here. I found, I mean, we were talking backstage and I found an old interview that Ezra did

over eight years ago and I said, you know, when we knew you were coming out of the podcast, I wanted to look up an old interview you had done and see how, what you felt about the answers and you sat there and you looked at my laptop and you read read it, and you went, yeah, that's all right. I would still answer that way. And it's amazing that you still, after eight years a long time, you still have that same vision and that same focus. And what was that thing you drew about Ben Affleck yesterday?

I'll get to that in a second. But one of the questions they were asking about long-term professional goals, and your answer was, running a media company that changes the landscape in some way, and eventually taking that knowledge and power to do social good. And I feel like, I think we're getting there. I mean, we do some great stuff as a company, like don't get me wrong, and I think that the long term, the impact that Ristt Sheeth can have, and people's lives

is important, and we do, you know, extra life is an incredible thing, we do every single year, but I think in the long term, Rupert Sheeth can have a way more profound impact on culture and society. I'm like, I'm speaking in very high-level terms, but I mean, yeah, I think we can get there. I hope so. Yeah, Ezra, I think, was like the one guy where even when you're working with people on a day-to-day basis working really closely, I think it's kind of a weird business. Like, especially the way we have like this ongoing two-way conversation, you know, with the

community and the community, it's part of the company, and the company's part of the culture and part of the shows. It's kind of a hard thing to explain, even if people are seeing it in action. And as soon as the one guy felt like he saw it the first time, it was like, I get what this is, you know, I get what this is and I get where this is going, I get what you guys want to turn it into

and I want to be part of that. And we're kind of, you know, it's so special. I mean, you know, now I'm still, you know, very attuned and connected to all the business exploits of like the companies that are above us. And every single day, we want to find more rooster teats. We want to go acquire more rooster teats.

And it's like, good luck finding them. They're so rare. It's not like there's all these rooster teats hanging around that you can go find. And it's not because there's a whole russerties hanging around that you can go find. And it's not because, I mean, there's a whole story behind it, but it's such a rare thing that what we have and so important and so cool that we have this community that we're connected to them and we create content that we love, that they want to watch and that there's this whole symbiotic relationship that is truly super, super special and you know, we're just, and I think we're only at the beginning of what it can ultimately become and that's

that's what I love every single day is like pushing all the people in the company to like think bigger, you know, because it's like sometimes you you get in a cycle of like we can only do so much or we can only go so big and like you know how what can we do it's beyond what we think we can do every single day. What are you excited about that's coming? That's a big thing. Do you say it? I mean it's hard not to be excited about Gen Lock. Yeah it's really. I mean it's I mean I'm excited about a achievement honor. Do we announce that we're doing more than that? Yeah. So more of that.

If not, just do it. If not, just do it now. That's like a symptomatic thing of you guys. You constantly like almost announcing things. But. No, we announced it by accident on the podcast all the time. We? Yeah.

Collectively. We're almost together. Fucking leave me out to dry like that. Fuck y'all. 500 podcasts. I saw someone, uh, complaining, we're doing this 500th podcast

in the State Side Theatre here in downtown Austin, and we got a live audience. Hey live audience. And... ...and... ...since, you know, we... We couldn't put the tickets up for free, because then people from all over the world would just take them

and then we'd end up with an empty theater. So we tried, we have to put a low dollar value on it. So we said, we'll put tickets on for five bucks. And if you show up, we'll give you a drink ticket so you can get a free drink. That way it's not like a total ripoff. Or a slab of cake. No cake.

And I saw someone in the comments for when we announced that complaining, like, oh, typical Rupert Heath cash grab. Do you know how much money it cost to put this on? We are definitely losing money right now. What? It was weird to me to think, like, I think the capacity on the theaters may be 250, maybe 300 people.

It costs a lot more than 1,500 bucks to rent the theater. Just to clarify, Gus can't afford a sugar baby at 7-Eleven. So he's not rolling it into this. But I read the comment and it's just like, I'm disappointed that someone would think that we would take an easy cash grab like that. And I'm also disappointed they think think that we would take like an easy cash grab like that

And I'm also disappointed. They think that that is the low dollar amount it takes to make something profitable La Fai bones. Yeah, five bucks. That will be the first topic of the business podcast with What it's about you like giving back and you know having a chance to Chat in front of people and I think it really gives the podcast a different energy. It's been good sitting here and listening to everyone laugh at all of my questions. Did you guys ever think that you get to 500 podcasts? No. No hope that we wouldn't.

Yeah. It just, I don't, like once we started, there was never a, we need to stop or we need to take a break. I don't know why. I genuinely look forward to it every week. It's crazy. What did we do the old, like, the time flip podcast? That was 350.

Was it 350? Because that seems like it was right here. That was three years ago. Yeah. And that was supposed to be for 300, right? But you guys just didn't do it. We thought about doing it for 300. We talked about doing it for five months.

We missed it. Then we said, well, we should do it for 400. And I said, well, I don't want to wait till 400. That's so far in the future. Right. Let's do it for 300. We talked about doing it for 500. We missed it. Then we said, well, we should do it for 400. And I said, well, I don't want to wait till 400. That's so far in the future. Let's do it for 350. That was when we recorded a podcast and then sat on it for a year. And then just aired a super old podcast on the old set.

Yeah, it was from the Ralph Oblenado set, even though we were in stage five by then. Yeah. So we talked about actually the week we moved out. Was it? We were packing up that week. It was like before Michael got married to Lindsay. And so he was on that podcast. Yeah, yeah. So we thought it was actually the week we moved out. Was it? Yeah. We were packing up that week. Yeah, it was like before Michael got married to Lindsay.

And so he was on that podcast, but he had to put on a fake wedding ring. Because by that time, he would have been married already. Right. It was actually interesting because we had a moment on the pre-recorded one that was kind of historical, but we didn't know it. But Michael was smelling the dead mouse that was stuck in the speaker. And I referenced that on a future podcast. I was like, oh, Michael was kicking up a fuss about it.

But I didn't realize that that was the one that we weren't going to put out for like 18 months. So it finally came out. And they're like, oh, that's what he was talking about. The RT life came out way before that podcast did. Yeah, but I think the only other show associated with Rushi that has that long between production and release is probably slow-mo guys, because there's some stuff you record that's what's a long

issue gone between recording something and putting it out to an half years probably yeah wow not intentionally it's just like oh that was a cool video that I never put out and I'll just go back for some stuff you just have that thing where you know it's time to put that video out yeah I think the the biggest gap was for the trailer we didn't even host the video, I shot a hard drive moving in slow motion. Yeah. But I thought I was like looking at other stuff that was going viral at the time, it was probably two or a half years after I shot it. I was like, that would probably do well, but just because I don't think there's a lot of people who have seen inside a hard drive.

So I just uploaded it without, like, I'm not in it, Dan's not in it, I just put it up. You got like five million views, I was like, I'm completely in a sound, five million views on my hard drive. I was just there the whole time. What happened? What happened? What happened with Dan's uveola? Yeah, you're getting demonetized. They demonetized Dan's uveola.

Wait, I mean, his uveola has been in every video so far and they haven't kicked up a fuck. It's obscene. And just to clarify, if you're not familiar with the term uvula, it's cock and balls. It's what that is. And Dan's cock and balls are in every video. You're hard drive it is at 11.5 million views now.

Oh, it's 11? 11.5. Jesus. So I was just making trailer fodder. When they demonetize a video, even after like or five years that effect that affects you, right? I mean that's Yeah, I guess it does. I mean this YouTube red which kind of It's more funny really Just some to point out that they're just like shutting stuff off. It's more of a law

But I mean the thing is there's nothing offensive about it His uvula does look like a vagina in the thumbnail. True. And I deliberately shot it so it was very questionable. What, but, what, but, what, but, what, but, what, but, what, but, what, but, what, but, what, but, what, but, what, but, what, but, what, but, what, but, what, but, what, but, what, but, what, but, what, but, what, but, what, but, what, but, what, but, what, but, what, but, what, but, what, but, what, but, what, but, what, but, what, but, what, but, what, but, what, but, what, but, what, but, what, but, what, but, what, but, what, but, what, but, what, what, but, what, but, what, but, what, but, what, but, what, but, what, but, what, but, what, but, what, but, what, what, but, what, but, what, but, what, what, but, what, but, what, but, what, but, what, but, what, what, but, what, but, what, what, but, what, what, but, what, what, but, what, what, what, but, what, what, what, but, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what,ized. Yeah, if you close your eyes and imagine hard enough, it could be. Call me Dan. It was the intent. It was the intent. The intent was there. They were right, but it's his mouth. So, as I want to thank you for coming on, who's going to RTX? Austin.

Yes. Dude, that is going to be so much fun. We have such a great, we have so much stuff that's in the works. Like so much stuff at the event, so much stuff in the clubs surrounding the event at night and everything like that. As are you going to take Martin, Matt's panel this year? Sometimes I go and like moderate with the audience. I'm going to be in the audience asking tough questions. There you go. Get answers finally, right? Yeah, no, it's, there's so much cool stuff this year at RTX. I'm super excited. And the nighttime program, it is nonstop.

It's crazy. Like, every, like, there's three things every night that I want to be doing. So it's going to be super cool and super fun. And yeah. And you'll, if you have any questions about the business or anything like that, and you're going to RTX, look for Es.

He's easy to spot. He'll be the big shaved head that's like two feet above everybody else. And thanks for coming on, man. Thank you so much. Ezra Cooper, see you there, buddy. Yeah, and if you were, if you are going to RTX Awesome, one of the panels I would definitely recommend if you're hard-core-rushy fan or created your creator yourself, hard-core. Hard-core. Hard-core. Go to, uh, Matt's Ask the CEO panel, because that's always a great one.

We have that at every single RTX. Matt, you doing it this year? You doing it? He's doing it. Matt, you're my favorite too, just so you know. So Ezra doesn't get in the way of our love. You're my favorite. I like you more than Bernie and Ezra combined.

Raise your ear. You finally worked. Well, guys, 500 podcasts. It's a lot of podcasts. It's a lot of podcasts. I'm surprised that I can sit down with you guys very pleasantly surprised. I can sit down with you guys pretty much every week and just have a conversation and just catch up with you guys and it just feels like you know it never gets old to me. Well the downside is that we have to withhold conversation throughout the week. It's like there's

things I want to tell you and I'm like no I can't. I have to wait. Like I couldn't I didn't let you all know I didn't text you and the sugar baby thing happened. Like I could have given you that rent. I was like nope I need to wait till Monday and then we'll talk about it. I think it is right before the podcast and I'd be chatting and it's like, nope for the podcast. Save it for the podcast Yeah, maybe week let you guys know that I booked the massage and somehow managed to lose all of our Microsoft contracts It wouldn't go Or you're gained a lot more Sorry about that got home bear sing no, but it's great

But guess just to let you into it's like we talk all week, you just don't talk to any of us. It's true. I think that in addition to the Jeff and Barbara line of clothing, we should have a Gus line. That's just stay at home comfortable clothes. Oh. It's just like pajamas and house slippers. Sweat pants.

Right, like, fuck you, I'm not going outside. Do you know what, do you know, I don't even know if I should say this, I pitched a whole line of clothing for you. Yeah, I did, but it's all anti-social clothing. It's like, bomb squad stand 500 feet back, like that kind of stuff, or service dog do not pet. Or those hoodies that zip all the way up through the hood.

I love those. Or just a big white hood. the way up through the hood. I love those. Oh, just a big white hood. That says dun-s of it. It was like sleeping pods where you can isolate yourself from everybody else. I love it. You started Instagram account recently. If you don't follow Grace.

Recently. You have an Instagram? Yeah. And G-Serola. I've had it for like, uh, G-Serola. G-Serola. Some asshole took Serola. That's what I get for showing up to a platform late.

I hope it's Esther. You are like 10 years late to Instagram. I'm super late Instagram. I fought it forever. Barbers like the only person who was smart enough to... I was still late. Still very late to the game. Yeah.

I think I started mine back in November maybe. So not quite a year. So super late. Gavin only had a picture of his knee for the first four years. Hi, it's me, myself, in. What do you want to be playing with? What do you want to be playing with?

It's his arch. You got like food, you got dogs, what have you got in there? Mostly food and travel stuff. Like a picture of a plane wing through a window. No, he's got some nice porch stuff, like Gus on a rock at the beach. It was on a mountain. It was on a beach.

It was on a mountain. And New Zealand, right? Yes. Well, a mountain's like the beach for air. Look at that. Look at that. Is that not a great food? 500 podcasts, I finally become Gavin.

It's like the beach for air. Who wants the regular beach like for what? It's for water. Okay. Yeah, it's a mountain for the other. It's beautiful. So you've got the gas, you've got the solid, you've got the water, you've got the liquid. Yeah.

What's a beach for a solid? Lava. It's a volcano. Damn. You're going to answer. Damn. You should be down with that one. Yeah.

So, but I noticed on your Instagram account that you don't follow anybody, except for Esther. I followed one more person yesterday. Who? Follow. Chrissy Teagan. That's the one I'm with there. What's going on with it? But what's the story there?

I just think she's hilarious. Hi. She's way funnier than you. No, there's a, there's a, there's a, there's a, there's a, there's a just think she's hilarious. Hi. She's way funnier than you. No, there's an easy thing going on. There's a big drama. There's drama. Oh, she posted a photo of herself breastfeeding and people didn't like that.

Really? Yeah. But did the milk, was it water first? It's always something. Who knows? It's a something, who knows. Wait, it's a stupid world we live in. She's best of me to get baby, right? A baby and a dog.

Oh, it wasn't a dog. It wasn't a dog, don't worry. There was no sexual gratification going on with the dog. I just want to know what the context is before I start to familiar. That's ridiculous. I think you guys see the US pressured a bunch of different countries to abandon a UN resolution to just promote breastfeeding.

I think it was World Health Organization. World Health Organization? Is that what it was? What's the logic there? The logic was they got paid by formula companies to, because the language of the bill restricted certain tops of advertising for formula in favor of promoting breast feed.

Oh, OK. So there was some financial incentive there. So the formula companies were saying they didn't want the restrictions on their advertising? Correct. Or the restrictions. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. They should ban all advertising. That'd be great. I know. Well, thank our sponsors, but yeah, we should ban all advertising. Yeah, I just, it's like one of those things when you read the headline, it just

seems so atrocious. Well, also, the babies now. The measures that they were taking, you know, threatening sanctions against countries. And in the end, you know, Russia has to introduce the bill because the US can intimidate Russia. And then the resolution goes through with some modified language that the US pushed for. Good lord. Yeah. I'm playing, so I played Detroit. That's a great segue.

Towards the end, you're trying to get to Canada. And I watch Handmaid's Tale where they're just constantly trying to get to Canada. It's the place to be. I mean, what would Canada do? You moved out of Canada, shut up. Yeah, well, what- To shame. Canada's always apparently in media, just like, okay, with the entirety of America just

immigrating over there. It's probably because there's more people in California, the state of California, than there are in the entire country of Canada. So we're a little sprating over there. It's probably because there's more people in California the state of California There than there are in the entire country of Canada, so we're a little sparse up there Yeah, everyone's very close to the border a lot of land that means yeah up there global warming all that stuff will be habitable Pretty soon. Yeah, so you're saying buy now for future investment buy some tundra. That's what I would do if I was you buy some tundra how much is tundra About cheaper about 350 Doesn't have your resources on it though using the civilization model doesn't have anything What makes it what makes it tundra is it's not about cold is it?

Is it about cold because they were so like I think it's about cold I think it's about like a level of permafrost yet got it you blubber. That's a thing What we have a geologist is in the crack was that a clap for blub level of permafrost. Yeah, gotta eat blubber. That's a thing. We have a geologist in the crowd. Was that a clap for blubber or permafrost? Permafrost. Confirmed. Dude, this is the dude who jerked off the dog.

I'm pretty sure. I'm pretty sure it's the same guy. Allegedly. This guy's got all the answers. I don't know. We'll have to buy Tundra. I would get an acre of Tundra. So I'm going to reveal something that I've never talked about in the podcast.

How much Tundra do you have? Because this is only coming up because the context. Have Tundra? This is only coming up because of the context of the buying Tundra and future benefit. So a few years ago, one of our special guests on the podcast, Joel Heyman, would come on on a regular basis. And he would talk about gold. And I would get in these long discussions with Joel about gold.

He said, well, when the economy collapses, gold is going to be all that's left. I go, but gold is just a medal. It has no value, like in a post-apocalyptic society. It's just another thing that people say, this is going to be all that's left. But gold is just a medal. It has no value like in a post-apocalyptic society. It's just another thing that people say, this is valuable. It goes, no, it's gold. It has value. It's like, no, it doesn't.

Value is something that people assign to something. You can't eat gold if your family is starving. It's like gold is just a currency just like anything else. I think what I said was you can't eat it or fuck it. So it has no value. You could fuck it if you tried hard enough. So... Just saying...

So, trading sandwiches and pussy from now on. In an effort to prove Joel wrong, back all those years ago, I bought Bitcoin as a joke. And then I forgot that I bought Bitcoin for this joke until about last year. That's the best joke I've ever told in my life. I probably old, old Joel. I love booking money for that joke. There was a time where one Bitcoin was like $19,000. Yep. Yep.

Yep. Did you get a handful? What's that? Can you tell us how many bit I think about? I could fill Barbara's Vag purse with it, but. But, well I guess I could now. Don't like this joke. Each, I've never talked about that before

because I don't like talking about money stuff, but that is, that is fucking ridiculous. Maybe I'll say how much, let me think about it. Maybe in the post show we can talk about it. It's the reason why we can sell tickets for $5. I'll just put it that way. So thanks Joel for coming on the podcast. And that's my eye was right moment. It was fine Bitcoin because Joel was wrong. Well, let's get to was right moment. It was fine Bitcoin, because Joel was wrong.

Well, let's get to wrapping this up. All right. So, I want to thank everyone for watching. Thank our live studio audience. And we'll see you guys again next week back at a normal time at 5pm for episode 501. Bye. Bye everybody. thanks for 500! Do you like apples? All right, example. Together in Trempathos, Characombs,

Characombs are free to deal with nothing to do with this podcast. Analyze various unsolved and rooster-teeths cryptic podcast, f*** face. Call to action. Feel free to add something show premise-specific, but short. Listen to show name on Apple Spotify or wherever you

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