Rooster Teeth Podcast - RT Podcast #202

Episode Date: January 24, 2013

RT hides dead bodies. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's time to put your pedal to the metal. From the twisted minds behind Deadpool and Zombieland, an executive producers, Will Arnett and Anthony Mackie comes the new Peacock original series, Twisted Metal, a high-oxane action comedy based on the classic video game series. Anthony Mackie stars as John Doe, a motormouth outsider who must deliver a mysterious package across a post-apocalyptic wasteland. If he can survive the drive, also starring Stephanie Beatriz, Samoa Joe, Nev Campbell, Will Arnett, and Thomas Hayden Church.

Twisted metal, streaming now, only on peacock. This episode of the Rifted Podcast is sponsored by Carbonite Online Backup. Carbonite backs up your computer files for you to the cloud automatically and continually. Start your free trial today at carbonite.com. No credit card required, use the offer code Ruestertief and get two free bonus months with purchase. This podcast is also brought to you by audible.com, the internet's leading provider of audiobooks with more than 100,000 downloadable titles across all types of literature including fiction, nonfiction and periodicals. For free audio book of your choice go to audiblepodcast.com slash Ruestertief. to do some research. Hey everyone, welcome to the podcast.

It feels fucking awesome to be back on the set live again. Welcome back after we had a bit of a break for the holidays and we were supposed to be back last week and we had the power outage, we had to have the electrician come out and redo a lot of the wiring in this building but we're finally back where we belong in the right place to do some podcast. Feel at home now. I feel at home. I'll drink to that. Cheers.

What the fuck are you drinking? That's an energy drink. Energy drink. I'm tired. I had a long day being Bernie today because you're great. Why did you wear a suit and tie? Well, okay, so originally we weren't sure if you or Bernie were going to make it on today. We knew Bernie wasn't able to make it. So you came up to me and you were like hey you should dress as Bernie for the

podcast and if I'm not there rake and dress as me and it'll be great so in my mind Bernie's just a guy that wears fancy clothes and fun socks so I'm wearing these stripes these yeah he does that he rock he walks like a robot wears fancy clothes and wears green and white stripe socks and I showed up today in like a suit with like ridiculous looking socks And I was like what the fuck is wrong with you? Yeah, I saw you walk in the door and you're wearing a full suit Yeah, I don't know. I just thought that's just as I imagine burning. He's a good looking. He just wears like fancy shit Nailed it. Yeah, so I went home. I switched to just jeans and this thing like a professor jacket I don't think I don't think Ray has clothes that resemble yours enough or the hair

I mean normally I wear this. Like I wear like a color shirt for the podcast. This is the time I wear a t-shirt. I don't think Ray owns a color shirt. Yeah, but I wear t-shirts most days. That's true. So when Gus said potentially dresses Bernie, which I don't, was it, was it that exact?

Like, wow, dresses Bernie tomorrow. No, it was like you be Bernie. Okay. No, you said dresses Bernie. No, I never said that. You did. I can't help it. Like how long did it take you until you went home? And you're like, finally, you just

oh, no, no, no, no. It was immediately. I mean, I've been burning up more early. I was like, I'll see you guys tomorrow. Was your roommate like, oh, shit, your funeral suit? Is everyone okay? I got a problem with that. I got a problem with that.

I was like, you only put that out with someone dies. Everyone suddenly very concerned. I don't have many nice photos. I either go from like t-shirts and final shirts straight to suit. I have no one between. You dress nicely. I do? Yeah. I think't have many nice those either go from like t-shirts and final shirts straight to suit I have no in between you just nicely. I do yeah, I think no Jordan dresses nicely. Well, okay That's a little bit that's the extreme the extreme end of the company's like LA fancy LA fancy

That sounds like a loving company. He's LA cool Jordan would shop at LA fancy, but it's just like You see what he wearing is like oh man, then he would sell that here. I can't get that. No one's that fancy in Austin. You guys haven't been able to buy that since 1975, but it's awesome. I feel like someone plucked Jordan out of an old timing movie. Like he's supposed to be wearing like a cowboy hat. A cowboy hat.

And like a cowboy hat. I can't see anything in the mold. I'm like an old western. I don't know, like suspenders and like the whole like. I don't think of him as being He's like a cowboy I don't think he looks like a cow he looks like he like maybe sell newspapers or something Everything, he also has a Hitler youth haircut so maybe he's from like the 40s or 50s or something like that

So he's like too soon, I'm sitting right here That's too soon. I'm sitting right here. Right. I'm sorry. So when I asked Miles to come on the podcast tonight, he tried, of course, to whip out of it. He was like, oh, I don't know. I got all this riding.

I got to do for Ruby. So busy and carries like, yeah, you've seen my riding partner. What are we going to do? And I felt a little bad. I was like, oh, you'll be fine. It's like 7.30. It's like two hours.

I walk back there at 4.30 this afternoon. And I'm talking to Kerry. Like, OK, I'm going to take off. I don't want to interrupt you guys. And they're like,'s 7 30 it's like two hours. I walk back to like at 4 30 this afternoon and I'm talking to Kerry like okay I'm gonna take off I don't want to interrupt you guys and they're like oh We're not doing anything anyway. We're just we got ahead of schedule. We're playing like video games on your old little Seg at the I gotta for Christmas. I got the at games Sega Genesis that comes with 80 games on it well it comes with Like 30 games that were on the Sega Genesis and then 50 games are just some random bullshit that they threw on their like solitaire and chess But it's really awesome the only thing that's weird about is all the music on it is about an octave lower But it's cool. It's got right star which I was playing today and then I normally play all the sonic games. It's really neat I like it. It's like 50 bucks or something like that. So yeah, we totally we totally finished our day managing your time

You're like we're gonna be working really late. Oh, we're gonna finish work early ahead of us apparently I'm happy with the progress that we made can't talk too much about it, but we made good progress today. Okay, good. Yes. Yeah, everyone who backed out seemed like they were in a good mood. Yeah, you would. You would carry in Monty talking about anime and... Yeah.

...just like the nerds section. I want to go beat them up. You know, you got excited. You came in and you were like, Ghost and Shell movie. Shut up. Okay, I may excited. You came in and you were like, Ghost and Shell movie. Shut up. OK, I may have talked a little bit about that. You may have blown my cover. I didn't know that you watched anime.

I used to. I don't watch it so much. I don't watch anime. We had one anime conversation about Akira, which we both didn't care for that much. Yeah. That's a whole. Got me that.

That's a whole. Got me that. Watch Ghost and Shell. Like the whole thing. I see. I watch. No, well, I watched it on TV, so like, That's a whole watch goes to the show. Like the whole thing. I see I watched. No, well, I watched it on TV, so like intermittently. And I watched every episode and I could not wrap my head around it.

Yeah, like that show is super unapologetic towards the viewer. It's like some of the episodes can be super complicated and fast paced. And you're just like, they're like, you lost fuck you. Like you're not catching up. Have you ever watched Evan Gallion? Yes. It's on my list. Yeah.

Apparently, I've heard great things about that. No. No? Well, you're going to have to pay it. And then like the ending's like, whoo. It gets really weird. Yeah. I heard they re-released that they are,

or they already did. They re-released it like the entire series. Like, it's like, is it 26 episodes or something? Yeah, they re-released it. It's like a movie length. Where like like they comprise the entire show into like yeah I think they made the ending different or something I'm there three movies are there are there are I have no idea but like they took two of them they took the series and made it into like a movie length yeah there was so much shit that just

come out I guess yeah I know some of the end of it like close to the end of that show they lost their funding from their major sponsor because they started doing some really fucked up stuff. So, like the animation quality in the last couple episodes is really bad. It's like, it's like, it's like a drawing and in front of a camera and someone's moving it. Like this is like, it's still drawing.

It's like, shit like that. It's really, really fucked up. Great, great series. Yeah, shout out. It's hugely influential. I mean really like it's funny like the ending sucked But it's still like hugely influential and there were some really cool things about it Yeah, just to kind of felt a part at the end. I guess it's like anything you can say this about anything Whether it be movies or anything like that, but anime is in particular like I'd say has a shitty ending so many Animies I've watched have are like amazing and they their solidity makes sense, like 24 episodes in.

And it's like the last two, it's like I'm gone. And I don't know why they insist on doing that. Either they're gone or they go on for like years and years and years, doesn't bleach have like 500 episodes. They're still going bleach and Naruto are still going. Yeah, like I used to try to watch Naruto, but it was like you would go like 10 episodes and one thing would happen

It would be like the same scene over and over and over It's the new model exactly What would you recommend for someone who has never watched any anime who wants to taboo ebop cowboy be a one? I've heard my favorite avatar the last air better That's a good like transit because a lot of people would be like it's that's not an anime Yeah, I think it's a good like for someone that's it is a transition because it's like more cartoony But it is an anime. Well, and it's it's all it's in America. It's an American. It's an American. Yeah, television show Yes, so that's the next one show

I'd compare it to Harry Potter in the sense that it starts off very much aimed at children And it's very very childy innocent and lots of laughs But by the end of the first book like the first books the slowest season starts off very much aimed at children and it's very, very childy and innocent and lots of laughs. But by the end of the first book, like the first book is the slowest season. It takes forever to get into it if you're trying to introduce somebody to it. By the last few episodes, you're like, okay, this can really good. And then season two starts off, and you're like, all right, I'm in. I'm on board with this.

Each season is referred to as a book. Yes. It's good because there's only three. So it's like longer than most anime. Some, anime usually go like 26 or 50 episodes. Exactly. This is like, or 50 episodes. Exactly. This is like, I think, I think, around, I think, I think they're about 20 chapters per book.

Yeah. And they're good. Yeah. Water, water, fire, excellent show. Very, very good. They do something interesting, which is they follow the main characters, Eng, Saka and Katara. They follow them on their journey.

And then like the B story, rather than giving them some like minor characters, they give it to that antagonist. Okay. So you see what both sides are up to throughout the show and it's really, really cool. One of my favorite shows. Interesting. But yeah, I'm excited about Ruby because it's going to be the first, I guess, technically anime that I've ever watched.

So did you watch some others? Have you watched a lot of anime in the past or are you like wrapping up your knowledge now? I'm ramping it up now. I mean't really I mean I watched Pokemon and Dragon Balls You went on the kid right and a little bit of sailor moon. I'll go let's say that all right. Oh, I watch Seele moon okay, there's one. I'm gonna go on a tangent here go for it Have you ever seen any of the live-action sailor moon TV show? I've heard a great deal about this

Yeah, Jeff and I were huge into this and back in God I want to say like oh two oh three. It was a Japanese television show where it was like live action sailor moon and it was like so crappy. Well, I don't know. It's like so like kitschy and like a cheek like I guess in like there's a cat they talk to and like it's just a stuffed cat and there's like a hand off screen moving it around. It's like just a toy. Did you ever see Sabrina the teenage witch? Yeah. You know Salem talking cat?

Was it like that? No, it was worse than that. It was literally like, you could go and get a cat. It wasn't a puppet. It was like, you could go to the store and buy that. An actual stuffed animal. Yeah, it was an animal. Did it have a little moon on it, saying everything?

Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Just like every episode took place and like some like giant like warehouse or something. There's like a set was just like completely crap. And they just like it would be like the exact same scene pretty much everything Love over and over That's funny, but yeah, I didn't really I didn't really get into get into anime until college. I watched bebop And I love that fully-coly

And started samurai shampoo and then never finished it. But then, yeah, now I've been watching Soul Leaders trying to finish Samurai Champlu, and a bunch of other ones. I watched, like I said, Akira didn't really care for it, but it means whatever. Didn't really Akira for it? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, No, yeah, you just gotta get the hell out. You're trying too hard. Yeah, no,

that was fresh. Come on, babs. I'm so there's too much pressure on you to make puns now. Is there anyone for pressure on you to make them Barbara? I hope Barbara does it. Please, please, oh, man, it's been 35 seconds since the last time. Every single day. You were on the Rupert T. Twitter today, weren't you? I'm on the, I run the Twitter. Okay, well I can tell you're behind it. Apologies, you're magicians. I am the queen of the tweets. Seriously, you know what you're talking about?

Every time you talk about Twitter, I'm just going to turn it around on you. Yeah, every time. But no, I run of all of our social media. So, yes, that was me on Twitter. Yeah. So yes, that was me on Twitter. Yeah, so obviously Cara gave you the blue moon today and She gave me the dosa keys. I told her to give you whatever and I didn't care until I didn't get the blue moon But I was like, oh man, I really wanted the blue moon

No, I'm gonna run something wrong with this but we got shine on Yeah, you were drinking that energy. What flavor was that? Like what was that? I've never seen this before. It's great fruit. It's a Archer Farm sugar-free grapefruit energy drink naturally flavored, 15 calories with chinsing, Taurin and vitamin C. Archer Farm is like the target brand.

It's like the target version of Hill Country Faire, which is the HB brand. It's awesome. Archer Farm is way better than Hill Country Faire. I go get their salads and shit on time. Anyways, thank you Target for doing I worship you want to do it? No, I will jump at I'll jump at any opportunity where she how often do works when's the last time you or suit Vegas Oh, you wore one's past trip. Oh, I guess for the

What do you want your money? Yeah, brand new brand. My podcast awards not here. Yeah, we're talking about that We took it we took it next next door last week somebody pond it yet you want us to get ours as well Yeah, I'll go get it right now Where's yours? Oh, yeah, that's too far mind like right over there. Yeah, well, obviously There will be back in the God, I'm gonna fuck struggle. Yeah, I was like before the podcast started like I went in front of everybody's like if you have to P go now don't get up during the podcast. Like, I really need to keep track.

I need to have a list to indicate, oh, you son of a bitch. So Mike was just like, downing his beer now. I think I keep a list, like a tally, probably times everyone gets up. Your eyes are watering up from that. Because I burped. You had to go to the bathroom really bad

at the end of one of our podcasts. we started talking about a battle struggle like to Oh yeah, you're like trying to wrap it up. Yeah, I suffer through that. I was like no matter what I am gonna sit here and finish his podcast. The last the last the last high water. I don't know. I don't know if it was the last podcast I was on or the one before that the live one It was one when Bernie was telling a story about the running out of the football field Yeah, it was like right at the end and you were like all right, so I would he's like hang on I got one more story and I was like

I already got up to P1 so like I didn't want to go again the second time So I was like yeah, man, I'll just wait I'll just wait I'm looking at God I said I'm like this in my chair. I'm just like and like Bernie's going on I was like I was like, I was like, I'm going to be like, no, I'm not going to miss you. You wait, you hold me. Another minute, you wait, it's like the camera's like, cut over there on Bernie's. You should just peed on the couch teaching a lesson. Yeah, I'll just piss all over the couch. Yeah. It'd be just like

the cat. Who's over there? I just saw someone on the couch ask if this was a senator's puck between me and my old. Yes, it is. A senator's a hockey puck game puck. Where are you staring? You've been scanning that. Waiting for someone to talk about it. No I happen to just see it. She brought it out and put it on the table. She's like, oh is this okay? Oh, it's okay. Where did you ask to tweet that so you could bring it up? Everyone. Barbara's like, oh yeah I'm making that Rister Chief tweet right now. Oh yeah you notice my. Oh wow hey. you know how to get this. Someone actually gave that to me. Final cut min on the website. So shout out. Is it like an actual puck that was used in the game?

It's an actual game puck. Is there dried blood on it? I wish there was. Why is there so much fighting in hockey? Because there's no other sport where fighting is condoned like that. And you get in a fight and it's's like go sit in the timeout space for a minute You bad boy It's like did you sneeze on him? Yes, it's okay. Don't do that again. You do it again. It's like you're fucking ejected for three games Yeah, you know why I think it is because Canadians are so team that we want to see it so it's like encouraged I thought you're gonna say that like that's the only way Canadians get their rage out

Well, that's the one way. Yeah, that's the only way that they can express their anger and rage. Yeah, otherwise it's socially unacceptable. It's true. So you have to get a crowd of people to watch them get the shit we know. That's what's that. Carol just went and got me my R podcast award. This is everybody's. This is my.

Thank you. All you guys. Thank you. And thank you, Carol. We're going to get it. Can you go on running and get the other one? Just ask Lindsay where it is. Cara, for going and getting it. Can you go on running and get the other one, just ask Lindsay where it is? No, but I don't understand.

It really does baffle me why finding this condone. A lot of people who are hockey fans say that it's part of the sport, and it's like bullshit, fighting is not part of the sport, it's not boxing, it's not MMA. But you see people really get fucked up, I really don't understand that. That might be one of the reasons I don't like hockey. It's against the rules, but it's really nothing bad. Yeah, it's still encouraged. I mean, they still get penalties for it.

Yeah, like I said, they sit out for like a minute. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, boohoo. They're really cracking down on it. Facemashing's like 20 yards. Yeah, football, like if you hit someone or like a personal foul, it's a huge ordeal. You lose a lot of yards. There's also like moves and hockey that are. There's moves and hockey. Things and hockey

that are acceptable. Like you can check someone into the board and it's totally fine. Jay's like shove them into the board. Yeah. Okay. And it's totally cool. Like it's. Thanks for clarifying. Let me show you my moves. It's like a special attack right before they fucking hit you. Back four days. It's a shoulder charge. And then you just like, keep you into the glass. Yeah, that's what it is. That's awesome.

So I know you and Adam were both really excited that hockey's back. Y'all have been like clamoring. You've signed up for that NHL streaming thing. Like the other day, I walked by Adam's computer. And he had like four hockey games streaming all at the same time. I was like I wonder why the internet's slow around here. I was looking for more simultaneous hockey streams going. Yeah I've

been waiting for months. I mean I moved to the States last year. Didn't wasn't there just a hockey lockout recently like two years ago? I think it was longer than that. It was I think it was five years ago. It sounds about right. So if they went one season, yeah. Yeah. So what's it you will hockey? Why can't they get the shit together? Play the fucking game. Hit the thing. I don't know. Maybe if they didn't beat the shit out of each other all the time. Like the sport we're not gonna cancel every other year. Maybe that's the reason why they couldn't agree on money shit. I don't know. But it's back more old story. Is that a tragedy in Canada? Like does the Prime Minister call his cabinet together?

They're like round the clock negotiations to get hockey going again? It's like, guys, there's no hockey here. You guys are laughing, but this is true. It should be like, okay. It's like electing a new pope. Like everyone goes into the room, they lock the doors and they're like, no one. They wait for like the white hope to come out There's no more hockey

Pretty much It's a very devastating time in Canada And is that why you moved part of the reason you saw it coming? You're like I can't be here Yeah, well no, I moved in and they're like well Barbara's not here anymore, so Most of it makes sense. Are there any other sports that are really popular in Canada besides hockey? Yeah, people like football. But there's also like Canadian football. Yeah, but yeah.

I'm sorry if people like this, I don't like Canadian football. Yeah. I prefer American football. And I guess there's NBA and major league baseball teams up there. Yeah. We have one NBA team. Are there do stuff? Yeah. So I gotta get out.

Gotta stay active. We go skiing. Yeah, I'm trying to think of ice sports. Is that thing where you push a big thing on the ice? Curly. It's in those guys. Curly. Curling.

And yeah, I have curled before. Shuffle boards. Curling is actually very funny and fun. That's funny. It looks like it's a big fun. Yeah. Well, if you listen to it with your eyes closed, it sounds very dirty.

Because a lot of dirt is going on. Are there people who are doing the sweeping? Are they on ice skates? No. OK, they're just sliding under feet, right? OK. I could do that. I'm a very slippery shoe.

I could do that. Yeah. Would you rather be a broom sweeper or the guy who throws the puck? That's a good question. I would probably want to throw the puck, because I feel like I'd get tired. I have a lot of practice doing this, but like this would just like wear me down. You don't want to turn what you do for fun and to work.

That's true. This is the repetitive hand motions. What do you think is the worst sport to watch. I think probably bowling for me because it's not it's Not who's gonna do the best it's like what everybody just wait for one person to fuck up and then that guy loses Because they always those guys are like used to bowling perfect games and stuff, right? I don't think that common for people to do the perfect games, but I can see where Gus is coming from I wouldn't even clap my hair yeah, would say golf. Golf is fucking boring. Like, I've never played golf, but I could see it being enjoyable if you go out and do that.

But watching someone else is like, oh. I agree. I don't personally, I've never gone golf and I don't play. I didn't know interest in it, but I could even see like me golfing. Hey, this could be fun. It's like, how the hell is that entertaining to watch? I'm just picturing you. They don't even let the kids have fun. Like, if somebody claps, you'll ask, would you go golfing?

Would you do it? We should have a let's play. Let's go. Let's golf. You know what I found out recently about Gavin? When he gets bored when he's watching sports, he pictures the players naked. What?

That's what he said. I found that out really. Gavin says a lot of things. Gavin does say a lot. The reason I know that is because at our It's hockey with less people and get with the most boring for to watch the mini sticks. It's actually really fun. It's hockey but with less people and no fighting. And smaller sticks.

And yeah, smaller sticks. You have to play like crouch down. What? What would you do that? It's just like type of sport. I don't know why you're getting it. I didn't even put my head to life. Somebody's like hockey, it's OK.

Bye. Let's fucking take these sticks, cut them in half. How about that, right? That'll work. See this huge rink? A quarter of the size. Bitches love mini sticks. I don't think so.

No, Canadian bitches maybe. Did everyone answer? What's the most sporting sport? I didn't answer. I don't know. Sports? Sports? Yeah.

Are there any sports you like? Like I can watch a football game. If I go to a football game, I can be entertained by it. But it's like, I could never sit through a basket. I hate basketball. I hate it. I think it's like the most repetitive thing in the world. Like, hockey, I get.

There's a fucking goalie on each end or like a goalkeeper. It's like, he gets to the end and it's like, whoa, don't put that thing in there. Basketball, just like an open net. I said that before. Point point point. There should be a dude like above a net. Just like, we're juxtaping.

If you have like some sort of seat, like you know those seats, they have for senior citizens that like take you up the stairs. Yeah, yeah. They just go back and forth. Like, what do you guys, there was like a guy in a motorized chair, like above the net that could just slap it away.

Basketball, it's like, I don't know. I don't know. It's like, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I watch that. I watch this amazing game of basketball. They win 12 to 8. Yeah, that would be awesome. I watched that. I watched this shit out of that.

That sounds incredible. That sounds amazing. Yeah, I don't like watching basketball. College of basketball is even worse though. College of basketball is way worse than professional basketball. I know a lot of people get super excited about March madness. And the playoffs are like, I don't fucking care. March sadness.

Yeah, March sadness. March badness. I played a lot about that. I got a pity laugh out of Kyle over here. Good one, guys. You promoting, guys. I played a lot of basketball when I was a kid. And I think it was only because my dad realized that I was tall.

I really had, I was the most awkward kid out on the, I almost had field on the court. No, I was just, That was it. I really had, I was the most awkward kid out on the, I almost had field on the court. You know, you're not there in the basketball field. You know, the first time, the goal, the first time I ever played a sport, I was, my mom signed me up for like, pee-wee soccer, and we all went out on the field all the kids in the little cleats,

and everybody had a soccer ball. And the first thing that my coach did, there's like some like college age girl, was like, all right kids in the little cleats, and everybody had a soccer ball. And the first thing that my coach did, it was like some like college-aged girl. It was like, all right, kids, everybody come out here. We're gonna dribble in a circle. Everybody's gonna have fun. The time's gonna be easy. We're all gonna learn to be friends.

And I went out there, and I guess, the only sport I had ever seen before was basketball. So I went out there, and she told me to dribble the ball. So I started dribbling the ball with my hands in a circle. And everybody in the stands was laughing I'm looking at all the other kids kicking with their feet. I'm like you guys look stupid Your parents are so embarrassed look at them laughing at you. I pity you and your ignorance That was my very first experience with the content or any sort of athletic

Does and your last right does the ball dribble does it not? Like wouldn't it be like you find that? No, I got it dribble. You got to word. Oh hard. Did you like I don't know soccer balls don't dribble and it's On grass to work man, like a battle really If it's really like full of air like to a point where it's bouncy some soccer balls are a little bit softer But you fill up a ball to where it's bouncy. I find it hard to believe a soccer ball I probably wasn't very good at it where it's bouncy. I find it hard to believe. It took a soccer ball. I was trying to throw like basketball. It was normal. It was, you know, I'm dribbling. I probably wasn't very good at it. I think you maybe cooked the soccer ball

and then spiked it in the ground. And then when flying, you're like basketball. Dude, my else has a strong, like, these powerful. When he gives, he's very powerful. What does that mean? You give, like, the most painful high fives. No, I don't.

Jack is known for the high fives to be fair don't steal it But he'll I'll be like just do it softly and you'll still hurt me. I find me now. No Do it Michael come on high five no high five stop it. You also don't give high fives like I'll do something like you know Who they're out high fives who lose? They're not give high fives. No, what's wrong with high fives? Who the fuck cuz it's always like never warranted Who loses? You're not gonna give my five? What's wrong with high fives? Who the fuck?

Cause it's always like never warranted. Like there's the high five guy who's just like, eh! I guess that's me. Come on. High five guy. If you don't know him, it's you. It's you.

That's probably me. What are you talking about? Everybody. Everybody. We know. All right, I'm gonna read this here for just a second. Remind everyone that this podcast is brought to you by Audible.com, the Internet's leading provider of audiobooks with more than 100,000 downloadable titles across all types of literature and featuring audio versions of many New York Times best sellers. For our listeners, Audible is offering a free audiobook to give you a chance to try out their service.

One audiobook to consider is, are you there, Vodka? It's me Chelsea, by Chelsea Handler. For free audiobook of your choice, go to audiblepodcast.com slash roosterteeth. That's audiblepodcast.com slash roosterteeth. I want to thank Ali Baker for recommending that book. I was asking people for their recommendations. And I love Vodka, and I like Chelsea Handler, so I thought it was a natural fit. It's a win, win, win. Absolutely. Where do I think go? What thing? Where's the tw. It's a win, win, win. Absolutely.

Where do I think go? Do you Michael? What thing? Where's the twerp? Oh, I don't know. Well, I'm talking to fix it. Fix it. Fix it. Fix it. Fix it. Fix it. Fix it. Fix it. Fix it. Fix it. Come on. How are we going to talk to the people?

So, for now, you should mention that about people high-fiving. So, we went downtown just the other night, Barbara last weekend. Yes. And it's like Barbara, Lindsey Gavin, myself, Jordan was there too. And we're, it was relatively early.

I think it was only like 11 o'clock or so. We were walking from one bar to another. And some guy is in the crowd, like, word was there too and we're it was relatively early I think it was like 11 o'clock or so we're walking from one bar to another and some guy is in the crowd like that's not the shoulder like as we're walking down the street and he's like hey man come on like high five and me I mean like not being a piece of shit but there's like plenty of fans that recognizes outside public I'm like oh maybe it's a fan or whatever and I'm like oh hey I high five the guy then I watch him go down the street and fucking high five every single fucking person on the block. No, it's just a fucking drunk asshole.

Yeah, I think every single person that he passes by. I don't see that happening. Miles wasn't there. I don't high five people anymore because one time I was at, I think I was at San Diego Comic Con and some person was like walking the opposite direction and maybe it was at RTX and whoever was walking the opposite direction, recognized me. He was like, oh, hey Gus, high five.

So I go up to high five, and he gives me the hardest fucking high five, and he really winds up and hits my hand. And my whole arm just started tingling. And I was like, you fucking piece of shit. I was like, why the hell? You're the one who refused to, I find him. Get out. How weak are you?

You lost the gals in arm wrestling. Yeah, wait a minute. I recall I did beat you at arm wrestling. I was trying to beat five. And one of my high fives hurt, you made it like paper. That's right. I beat her. I am so strong.

Congratulations. Like, I still, I don't remember that stuff. I vaguely remember arm wrestling you. You are so drunk. There's a wrist-cheeked animated adventure about it. You are wrestling me. There is? I have a dick. Yeah, that's right.

That's right. Jesus. I was so drunk, I forgot that. You got drunk when you uploaded it. Yeah, I was right. That's right. Jesus, I was so drunk, I forgot that. You got drunk when you uploaded it. Yeah, I was like, you know. That was a fun trip. That was the first time I met Michael in person.

No, it was the second time. You're a comical? Oh, right. RTX 2011. Oh, yeah. But to be fair, it was like, hi, hi. And then that was it. Yeah.

But RTX. We didn't really know each other. And then it was you, me, Michael and Chris, right? Mm-hmm. Yeah, that was a fun trip. God, the thing that sucked about that show about New York Comic Con was that there's really no hotels within quick walking distance of the Javit Center. It's like everything is such a far fucking walk.

So every morning, you can hung over, you'd have to walk like a mile to get there. Whoa, you were hung over? More than once. And at the end of a long day, standing in the booth, you'd have to like, oh my god god to walk all the way back over there So we took a cab one time anyway, we might have I don't know if we mentioned this before at the end of one day We were leaving you left you left before us because you were going dinner with like it was with a vendor with a DVD

Distributor and it was like Chris barbered myself waiting at the booth and we had to wait for everybody to fucking leave. So people didn't like steal our shit and they were like straggling behind like crazy. Like we were there like almost 45 minutes past like closing time. So like I just got drunk as shit like at the booth. So then we went to leave and like we were finding ready to leave and the three of us go down the escalator. We're like two seconds on the escalator. I'm like oh I forgot my glasses. So I ran back to get them on the way to get back in my glasses got fucking lost Completely lost like I was drunk got completely lost

I ended up in like and like the maintenance tunnels No, I'm serious like well because they went down a certain escalator and I was like wait Where am I again? Oh, I'll just follow the exit sign and after like 73 minutes I was like I should not have followed these exit And like, I was underneath the fucking convention center, like walking through maintenance tunnels on my phone, like, Barbara, I don't know where I am. I have no reception, she's like, you're cutting it out, I'm like,

didn't hear it. We're at the end of the day. So then, I'm gonna go inside, right? I finally get out of like the goddamn maintenance time I'm wherever I am. I'm like, say the front entrance of the convention centers here, like, right off the, I'm fucking like across the street and like, a block away.

Oh, no, I doubt it. Like, I got outside and had to walk two minutes back to the front of the convention center to meet them. I was like, so apparently I came out through the fucking underground bunker. We thought you were walking from like the entire other end of the convention center. How the fuck did he get over there? I thought you were going to say you came out of the convention center and you ended up in Jersey. How did I get over here?

It's a big convention center. You're back. Yeah. We literally went down the escalator and you're like, oh, I forgot my glasses. I'll bear back. You went up the escalator. So we're waiting at the bottom.

I'm gone. And we're just like, man, Michael's been gone for like 15 minutes. And they're letting us out. So, okay, we'll just meet him outside. It must have been 45 minutes. What? You know, that was really important. It should have accomplished that.

It's for like 20. I got the glasses. I got the glasses and I got back outside. It was all good. Everything's fine. We're all still friends. Successful convention. My glance is, Queens is co-workers.

Yes. So I hate to call it out but I see that Gavin tweeted something. And what are you tweet? What being the asshole he is, he tweeted this, he said, Erm, hi, longtime listener, I have a question for Michael, why are you such a little toss pot poop knob? Poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-p-poo-poo-poo-p-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo- another goddamn thing because it's just that over and over. So thank you Gavin for fucking ruining that for everyone. Hi! What if you're a little poop nub? So answer the question. Why are you a toss-pot poop nub? You know, I was born this way. I am who I am.

It's like Lady Gaga. Right? You were born this way. I was born before she said that song though. So. How do you wake up lady Gaga? Here we go. Oh, okay. Oh, God. I heard an audible groan. I think that was Kara. Yeah. Kind of lady Gaga like her steak. Ra, ra, ra, ra. I like how you whisper the punch line. I was like, it was a shame. You're a self-hating punner. Yeah. Fire repunkleman. It's pun acceptable. Do you go to like pun anonymous? Just like, I can't help it. I just do it.

Yeah. Fire rep? It's been some moments my last pun. Yeah. I pun to make myself hard. It's really pun bearable. No! Are you going to go mad?

You're seated Jackson. Do you do that? Are you going to go to the O'Headry Pun off this year? I don't think I'm good enough. Oh, what? I'll be honest. I don't think I'm good enough. Have you seen the videos or something?

No, I just know that some people are like, I'm not gonna say this jokingly like professional pun people. What the hell is like a professional pun? Like people who do it? Like what are you looking like? That's all. That's the worst. Like on a red man.

Look at this. Look at this. do it like what do you look at like that's all like on a red like it is fine fine crushed gold around the game of this pun I don't know what the hell is a professional it's like it's like it's like actually can you imagine like the veterans at that place like the newbies like I've had punnets before you were before yeah yeah honestly you just go have some pun. She's just trying to be on the podcast. Yeah, that's really hard to go. You should just go and try it out.

Maybe. It's in May, I think. Maybe we'll have something at RTX. Still in May. And we're going to make a video out of it. Pun qualifiers? Yeah, a live fun off. You can make an RTX life out of it.

If you go to the OK and we put it off. I can. Although I don't know if I'd want that on the internet. It would probably be very embarrassing. Right, so you make an RT life out of it and put it on the internet. God forbid you would make puns in front of like an audience or something like that. I know. We were ever embarrassed. God, Barbara, people might find us foolish. I know. I would never want to do anything embarrassing on camera. I know I would never want to do anything embarrassing on camera

So I don't know if anybody else cares or anybody else saw but the Elder Scrolls online opened up signups for their Beta today Yeah, it's an electrical game, but MMO So I didn't know they were that far along. I guess it gives me an development for like, I think like six or seven years. Holy crap. And they're finally ready to start showing it to people. I noticed something interesting on Reddit. There recently the Cyberpunk 2077 teaser came out. There was the Elder Scrolls Online teaser.

And then I think was it today that Starcraft II? The Hardless Star trailer was released. Oh, opening cinematic. All these are really cool, really interesting cinematic trailers. Starcraft 2, the Hardless I think they're fine. I think they set the mood of a game. Yeah, but people may become disillusioned if they don't know anything else about the game or haven't seen the screenshots. So I could see why people would say that about the Elder Scrolls online. If they haven't seen what the game looks like or know how it works. They know how the other Elder Scrolls are. They're just nervous about it. But I've got no problem with the

cinematic killer. Yeah. As long as you know what you're seeing, you know. I love although World of Warcraft trailers, but every time I watch one, I'm like, there's the gameplays and I like this. At all. It's like epic swords, and then I just imagine dude just... Oh, yeah.

That's getting click. Yeah. So much mana. Yeah, you summon it. I've always wanted to play it MMO, but I'm really terrified that I would still do one. I've always wanted to play it MMO, but I'm really terrified. I've never played an MMO ever. Why I think it's time to get started?

I would lose myself. Like, you guys would never see me ever again. Let's do it. What MMO would you, because a lot of people are saying Warcraft is not the one to go to anymore. Like, it was, but now it's going to. It's still the most popular one by far, I think. But I mean, it depends what you're looking for. What what you want. I got it. You know you want to

I just I just finished watching I just finished watching Sword Art Online. No awesome anime And now I want I'd like to play some sort of fantasy MMO. What would you recommend? Fantasy you talking like high fantasy like dragons and castles and shit like that. That sounds cool We're of Warcraft It's still a good I mean it's played to you right? It was a certain level. Yeah, I'm doing 20. I believe something like that. I love you. I tried World of Warcraft I've got like a ton of five minutes level 80 characters. I haven't played the latest expansion I didn't play it's a Pandaria so but I had a bunch of 80s. It was so weird. Like I've loved

all the Warcraft trailers and I was like that's Kung Fu Panda. That's all I could think the entire time was that's Kung Fu Panda. It's Jack Black kicking ass. Well that started I think that whole storyline like the Pandas, the Kung Fu Pandas in World of Warcraft started as an April Fool's joke years ago. Really? Yeah, like, I think before the game even launched, they announced the Pandas as like a playable race as one of their April Fool jokes. And then it became real. Yeah, they're not fooling anymore.

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool never gets fooled again. That's not the point out. Fool, never gets fooled again. That's not the point at all. But it didn't fool you twice. It fooled me to say shame on you. I love Kerry. Kerry does this thing where he'll try and quote,

like memorable quotes, and he just butchers it, like the shit. My favorite of it, no, no. My favorite of his was, well, you know, there's no rules in the love war battlefield. He was trying to say it, it's almost fair and love and war, but instead we got, there's no rules in the love war battlefield. I like it so much. I is fair and love and war, but instead we got there's no rules in the love war battlefield. I like it so much. I photoshopped a picture of him.

I think that's better. There's no rules in the love war battle battles. I like that. I really like that actually. I was actually the picture we made to commemorate that day. It's great. It's like him holding the rocket launcher. It was one of the pictures Brian took for our T-shirts, our awesome T-shirts. We got a new T-shirt.

We did. It's the T-shirt Tuesday. We got a new t-shirt. We did. T-shirt Tuesday. The Ray Achieve. Oh, the Trumps are here. The Ray Achieve. I really like it. I love the ride. It's not as good as the King Guss shirt.

That was, I'll say, that's a pretty sweet shirt. The King Guss shirt has foil on it, people. I don't even get it. It's similar to the Jack Beard shirt that says Achieve, but now it's Ray with a rose that says a chief. Is that you? It looks like you have a really bad feeling. If you were to comb the hair back.

Fooking got him. Take that off. No, that wasn't a good thing. So is you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you. That's Jack also hasn't been a shirt right? He's fucking dangle like that way, so. Let me see if I can get this. Let's see, you, you, you.

You're not gonna look good, no. I mean shirt looks great. I mean, what I'm doing looks bad. Yeah. All right, just throw it on me. That's fine. All clean of your trash. Thank you. Oh, it's our animal. So I've still been walking around since last week's podcast. I've still been walking around showing people pictures of that thing I pulled out of my ear or the doctor pulled out of my ear. It was like a shock image. like a shock image like hey look at this like oh my god I don't know what you're talking about oh man you haven't seen it oh now I'm until the fast story because we already talked about it last week but my ear hurt last week I went to the doctor and he looked at my ear and basically said I had like a whole bunch of wax

impacted in there and you had to pull it out and it was so gross I took a picture of it. Holy shit. Apparently that's why they say you're not supposed to use Q-tips, which is the way it is. It just pushes it in deeper and ever since I've heard about that fact, I'm just like, yeah they have those little like, they're almost like the guns you use for like taking your temperature. You know how you put them in your ear? You just like put them in your ear and it's like a little vacuum.

And it's good. I saw a little infomercial thing about that. They've started running. It's like, no, you see the one. It's like, yeah, yeah, I've seen it. Dr. Say, you're not supposed to use a Q-tip to clean your ears. So now we're good. And of course it's just black in my foot.

It's like some old guy like, oh, god. No, it's a stabby ear. It's a fucking guy. And I saw this and we had this whole conversation back. It's a guy like cleaning his ears is like what the cute did. Like did he do and he's just cleaning on and he goes. Oh, he's like, he's like, he's like, ah, he's like, freaks out.

And he's like a huge ex across the square. He's like, no, don't do it. He got, don't stab your brain. Cute tip to the leading cause of death. You're in America. You're the wax vac. 75,000 people died. Is that what it's called?

The wax vac. I'm sure that was one of the suggested names for the product. Have you ever seen the infomercial for the nettie pot? Oh. No, those are just disgusting. It looks like a little teapot and you put it in one nostril in the water. Yeah, I hate those.

I have to use it a few times when I'm really bad really bad sign. You have to be careful with those and use Distilled or purified water. Yeah, because the some people don't they just tap water and like that Cheerio will be yeah, well they get an amoeba in their body and they'll die In their body and die You look at the smile and you're talking about it. In their body and die. Well, I had to make sure I was saying it right. I was like, shit, I'm gonna fuck this up.

Oh my god, that reminds me of a time, I was on a date with a girl. No, you weren't. No, it's gonna be good, let him go, let him go. I was on a date with a girl like really long time ago. I was in high school or something. And my dad was driving us somewhere I think. I didn't have a car yet and we had passed in Texas there's a certain time of year where blue bonnet just I blossom everywhere there's beautiful blue flower they're all along the

sides of the highways and stuff like that and generally a lot of families will stop and they'll take a picture of their kids in the in the blue bonnet fields it makes for a nice like Christmas card of some bullshit so we passed a family that Christmas card is on bullshit. So we passed a family that had pulled over on the side of the highway to take a picture in the blue bonnet. So you know me and my girlfriend had time like, oh wow look at that. That's a sweet we should do that. And my dad, my dad's a really quiet guy. He's just a big Mexican dude. And he normally doesn't say much, like especially when I was in high school, like we just talked that much. He was just really quiet like in other sports. But he, I don't

know why he felt the need to chime in. He goes, you know, I heard on the news the other day, family went out and took their picture in the blue bonnets, and Baby got bit by a rattlesnake and died. There was a fight, starting silence in the car. And the best part was he just starts laughing. And I'm like, she looks at me like, is your father fucking insane? And I'm thinking, I think my dad's insane.

And he's just laughing. Like, what the fuck is going on? He goes, I'm sorry. I just remembered a funny Saturday night live skin. Like, what? I'm telling you to save it. He was talking, no, no, he was talking about the Debbie Downer skin.

Like, there was a skin where like, she would say, like, you know, 95% of people die of whatever. And then the character looks in the camera and here. What? So apparently he realized he was making Debbie Downer and then just started laughing. But in reality, he just looked like a crazy person. So you're saying you scored.

That's completely nuts. How many dead bodies are in the back? Well, I mean, he was driving a truck. So like a good hefty bunch. Yeah, fellas, go way out in the blue bonnet. I'm going to take care of something over here. My hand and daddy is shoveled. No, don't look at daddy.

You can't even see. You guys have fun in your date. It's just a rattle. Where did you go on your date? Oh, it's the Mexican food restaurant. You're home, hometown. Yeah. OK.

So I grew up in a really small town out on the Texas, Mexico border. Oh, small, wasn't tiny. It sucked. It was, it was, it was awful. I, to this day, my parents still apologized to me for making me grow up out there. But, like, it was, it was so small and it was like so close to Mexico. People don't believe me when I say this, but I didn't really know any white people until I went to college. It was like, oh, white people, I've seen them on TV. Wow, they're so weird. It was such a bizarre experience throwing up out there.

When I got to UT, there was a bunch of people from small towns that when you go to UT, they have a weekend of orientation where you go and you get like little pamphlets about shit. You need to know maps of the campus. And then they make you go to, it's almost like they put on a play. They literally put on a play for like to teach you basic things like don't leave your laptop on intended. It's really weird.

And one of the things that they do is it's essentially, it don't be a racist play. Realize that you're not the only race of people at this campus, don't be a dick to the others. And then afterwards, they would make you go and your orientation advisors would have, let's all have a talk about what we watched it. What'd you guys think? Was it good performance?

Sorry, I knew everybody get the message. No racism, racism's bad. All right, questions, answers, pop quiz. It was really weird. And I thought the whole thing, I was like, this is such bullshit. Who doesn't know this? and then one girl in the back like so

I've never seen a black person before and I was just like oh my god This is the strangest thing these people exist like they yeah, she's just was like is it like I got I don't remember She asked some sort of question. Yeah, no, she was like a total Southern bail It was so strange like so did they like they like, I mean, do they only hang out together? Or is it like, no, it was like, yeah, no, exactly. You're like, whoa, like everybody was just stunned. It was, it was really, I like, I think, I guess. Yeah. But it was just, I don't know. It was just weird. I didn't understand. Like, I didn't realize that there were, there were towns that there's like No black people know mexia's just like good old white folk like I don't know it was weird man

That's really bizarre really weird really weird, but I will say like moving from New Jersey and not necessarily Texas But it just where I live in Austin like there are not a lot of black people here at all Yeah, no, but I mean comparatively like oh, okay. Yeah, I've never been to Jersey So like I got in and I went to I was not only in Jersey But I went to New York for a week and while I was there. I was like, right. Okay. It's more than white people in Mexican. Austin is really strange. I feel like for this part of Texas, especially it's Like just a couple of miles south in San Antonio. It's a huge Hispanic population But I feel like that doesn't necessarily exist in Austin.

Yeah. I don't know why that is. South Austin. It's very, very white in Austin. I noticed that the first time I came here that there was no Asian people either. Unless you go to U.T. campus. In which case.

I saw a breakdown. I think someone posted on the Austin subreddit today showing like, I use something New York Times website. It was a breakdown of census data for the entire US by census tract showing like racial density age and all kinds of different demographics. And you could like adjust all these sliders and see like how people have moved in and out

and how it's changed over the last, between 2000 and 2010. Yeah, it was really, really interesting. I stared at it for like 30 minutes. I was like zoomed in on my neighborhood. Wow. And one of the stats they had was Holmes occupied by a single person.

I was like, why did they track that? Well, yeah. She'll like, that's interesting, though. Like, if I care about what I'm looking at, dumb stats that are completely worthless to me, I wouldn't look at forever. Like, whoa. There's a really funny Twitter account called Stats Canada that are just worthless to me. I will look at forever. Like, whoa. There's a really funny Twitter account called Stats Canada

that are just completely fake stats. It's like 86% of Canadians own a moose. That's misleading. Barbara, we're talking about legitimate stats. We're talking about facts here. I know. Census data. But it's just, it's a funny alternative.

No. No. Gus was like, what's that? Okay. Cut Laura, kill her mic. We're out of here. We're going to replace her with someone else. What?

Bring out Cara, no one will notice. At what point in the podcast, Gus, you think the set will be sophisticated enough where like, there's another chair underneath this where you hit a button. It's like, I go back and like a new person just sitting here like during like cutaway. They were pretty sweet. We were like, get him ready, get him ready. Go, go, go.

I'm like, they'd like to jump into the last second and like the centrifugal force like whips him up. We're just done guest. Yeah. Or like it's just an ejector seat. It just fucking shoots you up like out of the roof. Like a new person just pops up in the bottom. You probably just hit somebody when the camera cuts away too.

Yeah. Get the camera cuts away too. Yeah. Get the fuck out of here. So we've been playing around with some ideas for ways, you know, nothing that fancy, but ways to improve the podcast set. And- Really no ejector seats? No ejector seats, I'm not working on that.

But we're trying to figure out new ways to get audio and we're trying to figure out how to get, like you're going to see there's a microphone up there. We're trying to figure out ways to get mics above us to get our audio. And we're like, I don't know how we're going to figure out how to get, like you can see, there's a microphone up there. We're trying to figure out ways to get mics above us to get our audio. And we're like, I don't know how we're gonna do it. It's really complicated. We gotta make sure it's not in the camera.

We gotta get these stands. I was like, let's just hang them from the ceiling and just like hanging them straight down. Like, oh yeah, great, we'll do that. That's a great plan. Like, no safety. Like, like, announcer style? No, no, just where they, it was like,

welcome to the TV podcast. The problem is we have a role We already have a problem getting Jack to stop talking. Oh God, wait a minute, you're showing it You're ruining the illusion Look how beautiful Where house look? I think they shoot Sailor Moon here on the weekends

That's my friend's where we call a callback Way to go, my house. But I think I would just need a step back. I'm sorry, way to go, Bernie. Oh, fuck you. I'd rather follow my second call. Yeah, you did. I don't like how you wore that for the podcast,

but you wore it all day. Like I said, I'd love an excuse to like wear a suit and fancy shoes and tie. I don't do very often. We should start having formal day at risk. No, we should. You brought that up. It's a stupid idea ever.

Somebody brought that up not today. You ever just did? Well, no, not. It wasn't you. Somebody else said that like a silicone valley. He brought that up. It's a stupid idea ever. Somebody brought that up not today. You ever just did? Well, no, not. It wasn't you. Somebody else said that like a Silicon Valley. It's Silicon Valley. Like everybody so, just so casually out there on Casual Friday, they just all show up to work in suits.

I don't know. I don't think that would work here at all. I actually know that would not. Achievement would just be like, fuck that. My first day here. Why are you single out achievement under miles? You racist? I'm ray, cis. You first day in here. Why is he a lot of cheemon on her mouth? You racist? I'm racist.

You shut the hell out. Shut the hell out. I don't own a suit. Really? What? What do you wear for like, you wear a tuxedo t-shirt? You wore, oh no, you wore a tux. Yeah, I'll rent a tux.

Or rent something. One time a few years ago, I went and I tried to buy a suit I I went to a store here and I was like a suit a suit store. Oh, I want to name name names But I walked in like I want to buy suit. They're like okay, and they'd like start taking my measurements They were like yeah, we can't sell you a suit What I was like why they're like you're too skinny and your arms are too long Try another store? I was like sure you yeah, it's like Surely you've made a suit like this you can make a suit to fit me like

Look at me like I was a freak. Sorry. You are too skinny your arms are too long. You are in a rank of tanks So I don't think you're human. We are calling The FBI is on the way Over and over again, they can't be right And then someone up front like hey guys something just walking to the store. Yeah, no, we're on it. We're on it We think it's some kind of hairless ape Like discussing and pointing at you. Yeah, so we're gonna have to ask you to leave. So I was so mortified, because you know, I hate talking to people anyway.

It's been years, I still can't go ask someone for a suit again. I'm still like shocked. You're not like what a tailor is for. That's what I thought. Like you feel that right? I'm not sure that I guess. This is like just a couple of years ago, right? What?

This incident? This was like seven years ago? Yeah, so you've filled out a little right. But yeah, I'm a little bigger in the middle. But what does that matter? I've got a fucking stomach now. And someone should be able to make you a suit. I've seen babies in this suit.

They get smaller. They have children's suits. Apparently, those children are more well-preporting. I'm like some kind of freak. These arms are the same length. They can make a suit for Andre the Giant. They can make a suit for Gustavus. He was more proportioned, I guess. Yes, oh man. He was just too off.

When I went to get a suit, I hadn't had one. And this is maybe four years ago I got one. It's the one I still have now. I went in the like Sears or Macy or something like that. I went in and everyone was like, oh, you know, you're gonna have to get a tailored and the sedan boy had a wedding to go to and it was like three days before the wedding. I walked in and I was like, yeah, I need a suit

and I went and went to like the woman that working in that department. She measured me, literally pulled things off the shelf was like, try these on. I was like, hey, these don't have any tailored on. Bye and I walked out. It's like 20 minutes, I was in an hour. I was like, yeah, my suit and I left.

Someone said, so Gus is Slenderman? Yeah, no. Slenderman has a suit. I don't. So we're different. Slenderman sounds like a... Slenderman sounds like a last name. Like, Lenderman. Gustavo Slenderman. My name's Roy Slenderman. Pleasant to meet you.

I'm sorry. Child of Dr. Extraordinaire. Child of Dr. Jesus. That's the Slenderman story. Yeah, he takes children in the woods. Righttordan, eh. Chalde, Dr. Jesus. That's the slender man story. He takes children in the woods. Yeah, I know internet stuff. You got to hang out and stuff. He made it weird.

There's some movies and candy in the back of his van. Why do you got to put your sick brain into it? God, you are. You are. I'm in brain. So, I mean, how many people told you today that you look like Bernie? Was it like, I'm stuck? like, everybody's called me an asshole. Yeah, I was like, what the fuck are you wearing suit? I'm like, I'm trying to be Bernie. Well, you did it wrong.

That's my worth it. I got so much harassment. I went home when I got jeans instead of my suit pants. Are you serious? Yeah. Well, that and to get my say-go. So you went home. This is what I'm getting. So you went home. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Let me interrupt. Yeah. That's how much free time you had today. That's how much free time you had today. This is what I'm getting so you went home wait so wait wait wait wait let me interrupt That's how much free time you had today

We've just worked out about probably 5 15 and Like what are you doing? No, we like carry now we're living at the computer like and enter when we sat back How much time do we have left? That's a 5.15. That's a shitty amount of time. Bale? I guess we good. We good for that. We'll start early tomorrow.

OK cool. All right. I'm going to go get my second. I'll be back. That was bullshit. I can disprove that because I was there. And I saw you playing the second. You both were there.

And it wasn't even five yet. OK, maybe it was early than five. Maybe it was three. It was about 5.15. Whatever, maybe it was earlier than five. Maybe it was three. It was about five, 15, whatever. Maybe I went home at lunch. The little hand has to be on the five and the big hand is on the left. And you want you to win an annulment?

Yes, you're in digital watch. When you sent the email, I asked him to be on the podcast. And Miles was on the list. I went over to Miles when I talked about him. I'm like, oh, did you get the email? And he's like, yeah. Do you really? I thought that it was really busy.

I mean, I'm going to see if I somebody can do it if I can get out of it Because like I'm really swamped here. I was like man, you know, it's terrible We were really worried. I was like bull shit. I'm gonna talk to him right now Yeah, I'm gonna go to like I was doing it. I'm currently schedule right now is is writing two episodes a week Which is the the length that we're doing the episodes is? Fucking hard so yeah, no every day is like so we're gonna like die tomorrow, right? Yeah, we're going to die tomorrow. Today was a blessing of a day. Good job. Good job. Yeah. Good job. Make it the same harder than it is. You feel like you're a little fort. We made a fort. It's so awesome going in there because you guys have like your action figures up and like all different like white boards and everything. It looks like a little like room.

I'm never gonna get late ever. It looks like a little room. No, no, no, it seriously does look like a little kids room. There's a little bean bag. There's a shell for all of our toys. And we took that couch from upstairs. Kerry has that one or what animates from. Kerry has that one like which on his desk. It's like it's like someone on their knees like sticking their ass in. Yeah. What? Yeah. No, there's a. This is the. Somebody should go get that. It's on Kerry's desk right now. If somebody goes to yeah, it goes to Kerry's desk. It's a which is the So he should go get that it's on carries desk right now if somebody goes to yeah goes to carries desk It's a witch on all fours. Oh, you're gonna know which one it is It's that was the one character

I really didn't like about about a soul eater and the same thing I had the same thing with Guren login Which is they have they just have the fan service character like she serves no purpose in the show There's one episode where she fights another character and it's an equally hot chick and they have a cat fight in like bikinis. There's no purpose. This is just explain. Just explain. It's just tits. All she is is just tits and asks. So it drives me crazy. She's the main character. Yeah, that's the reason that's like she characters like that give anime a bad name. Everything's anime is non-stop action and like oh, can she like because it is.

No, it's not sure I'm sorry I just was informed that it's collectibles not action figures. I apologize To all of the people who collect collectibles and not actually let me I'm gonna read this hallway wait Cuz I heard someone open the door and they're over there giving the thing for Carrie celebrate this I'm gonna be really read that okay number one right now. I'm gonna kill you I'm gonna wait for you to leave go on disconnect Okay, there we go. Do you back up your computer files as often as you should?

Can you access your files anytime anywhere? You should try Carbonite Online Backup. Carbonite is cloud backup that's automatic and continual. Plus, you can access your backup files on any computer or on your smartphone or tablet with a free Carbonite app. Unlimited backup space for your PC or Mac is just $59 a year. And if you run a small business, carbonite has plans that will backup all of your computers, servers, and external harddress for a low flat annual fee.

So start your free trial today at carbonite.com, no credit card required. You can use offer code RuestrT and get two free bonus months if you decide to buy. That's carbonite.com offer code RuestrT. So I was thinking about carbonite last night. OK. That's a weird thing. That's a weird thing. This is not part of the text there.

I didn't make the connection of my head to last night. I was like, I was laying in bed trying to fall asleep. And I was like, on solos frozen in carbonite, I was like, that's what carbonite is. Good job, guys. I was just going to pimp in you. Like, and I seem so brilliant to myself at the time. But I've had it.

Can you say it out loud? Oh, there's the witch. I think her name's Blair. I don't remember. That's the witch. I know it's a witch. I hate her. Give me, okay, if we could, here's Blair.

I have a great view on that. For acid shell. So here's, can we, Kyle, are you hooked in to stuff? All right, anyways, I don't know if you can can we Kyle are you hooked into stuff? Anyways, I don't know if you can see I'm gonna turn around here. You could totally see it. Oh There it is Oh, oh, there we go. So here's front I Feel like I'm showing off like We're gonna turn around and ask cheeks right there boys and girls. It's like I

Just can't stand characters like this because yeah, I'm gonna put her over here next to the senator's puck. That looks like it's warm. It's oh I do it. Oh you killed her. No glare. I'm gonna face the appropriate version so I'm sticking out. Oh there. Oh that's great. We'll have that there for the whole point. So I can't stand characters like that because I feel like it cheapens the whole thing. And there is a character in Gernloggin, which is Monty and Carrie's favorite anime, which is supposed to be some sort of,

I don't wanna say a parody, but it's supposed to comment on a bunch of other anime's. And essentially, they have one of the main characters, Yoko, is just, they created a camera angle for her. You've heard of the over the shoulder shot. They have an over the side boob shot of her. Oh, it's me. And it's, I just don't know.

So what is that shot? It's just like their side boob and poop. And then the people are like, they're looking at her eyes while they talk. And then they slowly all look down at her tits. And then she has like a little furry animal that she keeps in between her inner, that's just not a fear.

She's asking her to look at it at that point I know and it's there's I don't know like full metal alchemists really have that they had winery and there's there's oh come here Joe do you want to read me was a good character winno see here yeah winery was a good character there were however in I don't think it was brotherhood I think it was blah blah blah it was um that wasn't in the original series in they had a credit sequence that was just like her posing and taking a bath. I'm fine with that. That's the credits.

If you're going to get your fans servicing, get it after the show is over. But I don't like characters that are just like, eh, the whole time. You don't? No. So you feel like a cheap result? I don't see anything like that in the group.

No, this is miles though. OK. I trust mom. And also that figure was on Kerry's desk. True. So Kerry's a supporter. Yes, we're together You know, I can't say too much, but I you know, we're Reworking a lot of the studio right now. We're putting in some desks and Setting up stations there for people to start working on stuff and I was back there earlier

Looking at some things that Taylor was working on and I moved like this cork board Like out of the way and I looked at the other side. I was a little bit earlier, looking at some things that Taylor was working on. And I moved this cork board out of the way, and I looked at the other side and I was like, ooh, secrets. I was like, stuff that you guys have been working on. I hadn't seen it. We have a lot of concept art from Eileen in there. It's fucking awesome.

Every time Monty's like, we got a new male from Eileen and Karen and I was like, eee-mo! Do you want to explain who Eileen is? Yeah, Eileen is our main, I guess, concept artist at this point. She does a lot of character design along with Monty. So like with Red, White, Black, and Yellow, I won't say names. With Red, White, Black, and Yellow, Monty came up with, he's a really good artist. He's great at drawing.

He came up with a great sketch for the character outfits. Sent them to Eileen who is incredible. She's 21 years old and already has like published books. He has a D-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R- fantastic. Every time she sends this work, it's Christmas day, man. And we've got, we have a cast of characters. So it's really something. And it's a privilege to get to work with her. The depth that they've gone into for Ruby is ridiculous. It was weird. After the first trailer, we were really worried about how this character trailer only showed the actiony side of Ruby and really it's gonna be we don't we're not it's not just gonna be a slaughter fest of like yeah let's fight crazy monster stuff it's gonna be there's comedy and all sorts

stuff I'm not gonna I won't get into there is fan service though right I will not comment on the amount of fan service that is not within the show Ruby are there gonna be girls leaning over with their butt taken out of their skirt with a little phone on? That's the real question. I think Miles are replying to take a drink of my beer. No, I'm not just saying no, no up skirts or anything like that. Have any full frontal male nudity?

Well, I mean, yeah. Okay, that's the title of the first episode. Ruby chapter one full frontal male nudity. That'd be a frontal male, new. That'd be a good seller, dude. People would watch episode one. We do have a bunch of cool guy characters that I'm really excited about.

Very excited about. So Ruby, the white trailer coming soon. Coming soon. Coming soon. And we could probably still talk about RTX. Yeah, you wanna do it? I'll let you do the honest and see our head of RTX. Yeah, I was giving it a side head of RTX.

Oh, given, you heard about RTX? You ever heard? It's the same. You want to do it? I'll let you do the honest and see what our head of RTX. Yeah, I was giving side head of our You ever heard it's a live Fifth and seventh the Austin Convention Center. We're gaming meets the internet go and say it I was given the go ahead to an artist but episode one of Ruby is gonna premiere at RTX 2013. Yes, that is our premiere the premiere of chapter one of Ruby That is our premiere of chapter one of Ruby. I got a cheer from you. Take it's on sale now at RTXEvit.com. Yep. Yes.

Your source for everything RTX? And we'll also be having a Ruby panel and stuff like that. So it's going to be a lot of fun. I'm, oh, God, I'm excited. It's going to be good. A lot of people are. I'm looking forward to July 8th. I remember last year, the day after RTX, was the happiest I'd seen Gus in like six months.

He was just like, I don't even fuck. That was so... There was like a solid month and then you were like, all right it's over. You already had to start planning for this year. But that month, you were like the happiest guy. We had our first RTX meeting of 2013 in August, right? Yeah. That's right? Yeah. Yeah, that's fun.

Yeah, I think what I say, I stole that all Lisa Simpson lines, like, it's the longest possible time till more RTX! 364 days. Yeah, 364 days to go. If only it was a leap year, then I'd get that extra day. Now we're under six months. I know. She's scary at that time, Rose. Yep.

You think you have so much, and then- I'm glad I don't have to worry about all that Yeah, that's that would be really stressful to me Gus Yeah, I just read we have a tweet that said dear god, please turn around that action figure so players can go yeah, now she's PG Now she's well, let's not say that Did you see that chest now she's PG 13 whatever it was before? Did you see that chest? Now she's PG-13. Whatever it was before.

Oh, that's bad. No, that's a, I think that would qualify. Probably G, should I show him in the cleave, it's right? And, uh, let's take a look. No, but those are hanging low, man. Those are. Those are, if you want to see it. No, no, no, no.

I'm going to get excited. He doesn't want to get excited. The first shot of her in the show is her taking a bat and going, she's a cat. It's just weird, man. Try it. If you try ever introducing like a girlfriend to an anime, that's not, don't start with episode one or so. Don't do that. I'll find different anime to introduce my girlfriends.

Is that like an anime? No. No. You never watch. I've tried the last day, but it's so good. It's so good. It's made good. Just made her watch it. Yeah, I will. Do it. Not that one with the sexy cat. No, no, no, no. Don't do that episode one. That's the second anime, you sure?

OK. Like once she's sold. You watch something else. Like you watch Avatar. And then it's like, hey, that was fun. All right, let's go to bed. And then when you're not having the bedroom, you turn that on in the background.

It's like how you like that cat lady in the bathtub. Maybe you could be a cat lady. Maybe we'll both be cat ladies. We cat ladies together. I'm gonna be a cat lady Yeah, I'll be cat lady with you What the fuck is everyone talking? Dude you guys started it. I'm just continuing the conversation. All right, you're trying to keep it lively Bernie She's doing on purpose. Well, if you just give her like the laugh. Care is just laughing now so we can talk about care laughing. Yeah. Fucking care. No laugh that time.

So, Nino Cooney finally came out for the PS3 today. Do I like that? Have you not seen the trailer for this? No. What is it? All right, I'll pull it up. I've been looking forward to this game for a while. I'm not going to say too much about it.

OK. Me and No Cooney. Yeah. I'll be playing TV show. I don't need No Cooney. God damn it, Barbara. Seriously. I'm going to high five you.

Yeah. I'm going to high five you in the next week. You're going to wake up tomorrow. I'm like, we'll have. Oh, God. My head is gone. Can you get a full screen for me Barbara? What? Teamwork makes the tree work, like hit it, just hit it. This is their E3 trailer from

last year, 2012. I like those dreads. I'm a fan of dreadlocks. So it's like a Japanese RPG, but it's co-developed I I believe, with Studio Ghibli. They did all the animation. You know, they do, like, a... This is a game. Yeah. Oh, I love the look of this. And, like, a lot of big animation that you may be familiar with.

Anime games are gone. Like the Naruto fighting games? I had a roommate that was a huge Naruto fan. I didn't like the games, but I loved the way they look. I they looked fantastic. Yeah, I mean I don't know how the game played This is it's Japanese RPG. Some a little scared of it But it looks so beautiful That like just based on you know the look of a game. I bought it Yeah, so I it's still in my car been here all day. I'm had a chance to go home and play it yet

I didn't have five hours to spare in the middle of the day. It was a busy day. Gus It was a really long dude this fucking thing has 50 games on it. I don't know if I'm Bill this is like this and you're never gonna believe me again if I ever tell you I'm busy It's crazy, right? This looks like a movie or a show does not look like a video game. Yeah, so uh So you're gonna give me what else do they do? They did uh, Totoro, House Moving Castle, um, um, fuck. I'm losing a lot of their credit here, because I can't remember. Yeah, I'm not.

I'm not. Is that all they want? Is that all the Japanese RVG? Uh, movies, anime movies. Ah. Spirited away. Thank you for saving my ass, Brandon. There you go.

The dollar is incredibly high. Uh, yeah, we don't have to show this, the whole thing, but just like the look of it so Oh good, they cut away perfectly Thank you three day we buffer in Why the fuck are you complaining about it? Are you right? I see sigh every night in my dreams. I wake up with a smile on my face So I bought that and I also bought the up to the smile on my face. So I bought that, and I also bought the Blu-ray version

of Searching for Sugar Man finally came out, which is a documentary I talked about previously on the podcast. It's a documentary about this singer from Detroit from the early 70s, who was, his name was Rodriguez. And he released two albums that did terrible. They didn't sell it all. I think one of them, I think a second album, which sold like six copies in the US.

But his music became super popular in influential in South Africa, and was like a rallying cry for the anti-apartheid movement. And like he's bigger than the Beatles and Elvis in South Africa. It's like a huge, huge deal. But this is before the internet, people didn't know what happened to him because he only released those two albums and he like went back into obscurity. So these two filmmakers from South Africa come to the United States to try to find him. Oh wow.

And see what put happened to him. It's really interesting. Yeah, that sounds really interesting. Yeah, so that just came out. It's nominated for Best Documentary Academy Award. Yeah. Yeah. So, you?

I usually don't watch a lot of documentaries. I watched Exit to the Gift Shop Shop or through the GIF Shop. Yeah, because I heard about, I think you guys document on the podcast a couple years ago. It was really good. Was it the one with the artist? Yeah, thanks. Yeah, I actually did watch it as well.

Yeah, excellent. My wife loves documentaries, so we watch a lot of them. In fact, she watched Searching for Sugarman, I think on the trip to MindCon, when I went to MindCon. I watched that documentary at your house when I was over. Oh god. Don't stick love. Don't stick love.

What is that? I'll let you explain it. It's a documentary that follows two couples that are heroin addicts in New York. Oh, pleasant. It's beautiful. It's fascinating. It's a beautiful, it's a love story.

They really show the links that people will go to once they're really hooked on drugs and essentially homeless. Like one of the couples, you know, it was this woman, she would pretend to be a prostitute. And then when people, when John's would come and pick her up, they'd like go to an alley to do the deed. She had like this little fake police badge that was tiny. She'd pull it out and be like, I'm a cop, you're busted. I'm gonna take you to jail. And the guy's like, oh no, I don't wanna go to an alley to do the deed. She had like this little fake police badge that was tiny. She'd pull it out and be like, I'm a cop, you're busted.

I'm going to take you to jail. And the guy's like, oh, no, I don't want to go to jail. She's like, this are my partners are all around us right now. You can get out of this, so. If you give me 100 bucks to donate to the women's shelter that we're building in this neighborhood, we'll let you off the hook. Like, oh, OK, and the guy's like, the guy would give him money.

And then she just leave with their money. That's what's smarter than being prostitute. So like, they would be leave with the money. That's what's smarter than being a prostitute. Yeah, so like they would, she would be constantly doing the scam. And then they would also go to trash cans. And they'd find like receipts for stores in the area. Then they'd go to the store and pull the merchandise off the shelves with the receipt and then go to the return counter

and be like, we want to return the stuff. Yeah, damn you. It clever. Yeah, she was really hustling. I don't want to give any of the ideas, but. But yeah, it is really graphic too. I mean, it is like. Yeah, you see some stuff that you probably never want to see in your life. Yeah. Like some guy at my left is, this is a needle that he cleans with toilet water in public

restroom. Oh my god. Yeah, he's like, oh, I've got to clean this. Like sticks it in the toilet and like switches it around. It's like, that, I got to clean this. Like sticks it in the toilet. And like switches it around. It's like, oh, that's good enough time to do my heroine. It's like, what are you doing? It's like, what is the arc of your life that you are cleaning a needle to shoot heroin in a toilet in New York City? Yeah. You're like, oh, that's good.

Right there. Wouldn't it be cleaner to just piss on it? Like, at least it's sterile. Like, I'll piss on it myself. Pretty much. But yeah, that was an interesting documentary. I used to watch crime documentaries like a motherfucker. Oh yeah.

I watch court TV. My mother always watched like real documentaries like surgery shows and stuff like that, like open heart surgeries and stuff like that, and then like murder, not murder mysteries, but like murder documentaries and forensic files and stuff like that. And at some point, like, just didn't give a shit that I was watching it.

So I've been watching this until like seven years old. I was like, oh, I'm going to go ahead and figure out mysteries. Cut this hard out. Up for the longest time, like even me being 15, 16, I'd be like, dude, if you ever murder anybody, this is how you get rid of the bodies. Only because I'd watch those all the time,

like know all the ways you got caught. Like one asshole, there's like some like crack out of whatever, ended up breaking into his neighbor's house, and like to rob them whatever, but ended up killing two people and leaving. But before he went in, he didn't want to leave fingerprints, so he took a socks off and put them on his hands. So they fucking caught him with his footprints,

that he left all over the floor. It's like, asshole. So I was like, oh, okay, they can get your footprint. They can get your socks off. They can get your footprint. They can get your foot prints off. They can get your foot prints off. They can get your foot prints off.

They can get your foot prints off. They can get your foot prints off. They can get your foot prints off. They can get your foot prints off. They can get your foot prints off. They can get your foot prints off. They can get your foot prints off. They can get your foot prints off.

They can get your foot prints off. They can get your foot prints off. They can get your foot prints off. They can get your foot prints off. They can get your foot prints off. They can get your foot prints off. They can get your foot prints off. They can get your foot prints off. They can get your foot prints off. They can get your foot prints off. They can get your foot prints off. They can get your foot prints off. The door He put his shoes back on after taking all the sizes you know, you know, no I guess he was the crazy crack head neighbors. He didn't have shoes

So he just put him off here and put him like It's like that what no since it I have like seven years of like shit like that like okay Don't fucking take my socks. I'm never try to kill it like I always shit job Well, dude, I always thought like, if you murdered anybody and you had, or whatever, you had like evidence or something, people always try and burn it and shit in the middle of a field. And it's like some random dude. It's like, oh, there's a fire.

And then he goes and sees it. And then he finds a bag of like bloody clothes and shit. And he's like, oh, it's in the cops. What I never understood was I always thought like, as a kid, I'm just like, why wouldn't you wait till the day like trash pick up comes? You see the garbage truck coming down the street, right? Because I mean, I lived at a kid, I'm just like, why wouldn't you wait till the day like trash pickup comes? You see the garbage truck coming down the street, right? Because I mean, I lived at a house, the residential home.

So we had a garbage can, the fucking truck would just come take the thing and leave. Just like right before gets your house, put the bloody knife in the bag, throw it in the garbage can, watch it go into the truck, you'll never see it again ever in a million years. What do people do? They wipe it off and then put it back in their fucking knife rack in the gear and asshole. They open it up and they find the blood in the handle. Come on. They gotta save money.

They gotta save money. They open it up and find the blood in the handle. You have watched a lot of these. Yeah, they do. You have to. Damn dude. My entire childhood in white ninjas. Breaking bad has taught everyone how to make bad.

They've actually teach you though. They never really get that specific with it. But it's not hard to learn. There's the internet. Yeah I mean you can find out much quicker on the internet than watching big bad But I'm trying to make math. No, I have a third season of breaking bad. I haven't learned anything Man, is there some character progression? Like my no pad is empty But my heart is filled. Yeah

It's funny that we bring this up because the other night a bunch of friends like Brandon and carrying a bunch of us went out The pad is empty, but my heart is filled. Yeah. It's funny that we bring this up, because the other night, a bunch of friends, like Brandon and Carrie, and a bunch of us went out for drinks, and I think it was Brandon. Brandon loves hypotheticals. And just in the middle of the night, Brandon. I hate hypotheticals.

Yeah, yeah, that was the first conversation was about hypotheticals, but he goes, if you're ready to hide a body, how do you think you'd do it? And Carrie came up to me today. He said, I scared myself on on a jog last night because I thought about it. And I think I came up with a good answer. What's wrong, Joe?

Joe, come here. What's a good answer? Well, Carrie said what he would do was, sorry, Carrie. He said, well, first, he got a chop off the body. Because you're not going to be able to get rid of a full body. That's way too big. So you've got to chop down the manageable pieces Then after that what you do yeah, I'm gonna say real fast and Brandon's already saying it too. That's not easy

Yeah, no Brandon brought that up. He was like you can't just chop I don't think you'd have the will to chop up a body. I think you If you killed somebody I feel like you have the gumption to be able to cut up a body. Change the. Yeah, I disagree so far, but go ahead. I want to hear the rest. Okay, so he suggested cut a body, and then he goes, so, you owe the residential area, right? What do residential areas have?

Yeah, pools. And in the winter, those pools get covered. So what you do is you go over to a covered pool, and you dump the body parts in the pool because no one's gonna go swimming in January. They're gonna, it's gonna wait there and it's gonna decompose and all the shit. And then, summertime, kids are going out for their, for the little swimming stuff. They uncover it, decompose body parts, but there's no evidence. Case closed.

I think they're, he's like, I'm really good at this. I think they would say it was like, I'm like, still, like, that would be a few holes in it, but I don't know, I'm not next to killer. I don't know. That was his idea. I mean, do you have an idea? Peron. Well, I'm sure Michael probably has an idea.

No, it's just like, I wouldn't be so much concerned as like, this, this, this pose in the body forever, just leave no trace and it can never get back to you. What I think is sometimes like, would traffic's really bad on 35? Sometimes I end up like going east out towards the airport, like, like, McKinney Falls, Falls State Park and everything and I like loop all the way around Austin and sometimes I'm way out there and there's like nothing around and I think I could just take a

bot. I could just park my car here on the side of the road, take a body out into these woods and just leave it there. Like yeah they'd find it eventually but it's gonna be there a long time. So anybody else might share it off? No, well here's the thing, you know. Animals might come and eat it, help destroy the evidence. Yeah, animals will eff a body up. I know. But in a good way, but also if you dig a grave,

you gotta do a legitimate grave. Don't dig a three foot grave because then animals are gonna pull it up. That's what it's all the time, too. That's what it's supposed to be six feet deep. Yeah, I know. Six feet out. People get lazy and they're just like,

oh, the body will fit and they throw it in. Also, never bite the duct tape because you leave DNA on it. Just rip it. Also, if you're putting batteries in something, wipe the batteries off because you leave your fingerprints on the batteries when you put it in. Where it goes? A lot of times people like... What are the batteries for?

The light. Just like shine when you're bearing a body in. Or not batteries, they should say like rounds on a magazine. Like, got to bury this for me. No, when you shoot, then you check. When you load the gun, when you load the bullets, your fingerprints can be on the bullets. Yeah. Yeah. I'm saying, so when you fire them, they can find them and find your fingerprints on them. So you got to, you got to fucking do batteries come up. Don't be a bitch.

Okay. Yeah. I sort of feel like Michael could solve crimes. Like you could actually. I don't think I would solve them. You commit them. You know, I'd say that. There you go.

All right. I just think about these things. I'm just like, oh, okay, don't do that. There's a very, very, very long list in my brain of just like don't do that. And every time in a watching episode, I'd add it. Just in case. I never planned to kill a guy.

But if I did, something happened. It's what comes to show. If there was a scuffle I would just like don't do this this this this this this is this or this you know at that same that when we all when I'll together after that question be asked the question was if X or whoever came to your house with a with a dead body saying hey I need your help to get rid of this what would you do and of course everybody was like oh what would the Brandon came to me what I say I was like a fucky Brandon you're you're screwed you're on your own and Aaron goes my girlfriend goes what would you do? And of course everybody was like, oh, what would, that Brandon came to me? What would I say? I was like, I'll fuck you, Brandon, you're screwed. You're on your own. And Aaron goes, my girlfriend goes, what would you do if I came to you with a body? And I was like, I need to hide

this body. I'd say, good luck. I'm not going to tell anybody, but you need to get out of here. She looked at me like I was like, that was the coolest thing that could be said. You know, your girlfriend had a body? No. That's not true love. Aaron, you need to dump him. No, she said, she said, what if you were the one with the body and you needed my help? I'd say I'm a fucking crazy person. I just killed somebody. You should get as far away from me as possible.

Is that logic not sound? If somebody comes to you with a body. If my wife brought it. Sounds like you're a helper hide it. You're a piece of shit. If you're a human, you're a helper. I would take care of it. Not only would I help her, I'd be like, you know what?

I'm don't worry about it. I'll take care of it in the air. Just let's kill again. I like this quality time. I'm spending you just relax you wash up You get rid of all the evidence on you. I'll take care of it to the seven my back. You know fucking teamwork That's that's what it's about. Mm-hmm. Yeah, I'm looking for a man. It's gonna help me had a body That's true love. I hate all of you Aaron. I'll help you. God damn it. I hate all of it. I got your back girl Thanks guys glad to know you guys. Boyfriend of the year. Well you did it to yourself man. Matt McGrene tell

her right away. Like if you really want to help the person you love check them into a psych ward or something like that. That's my house. It's going to jail for the rest of her life. So you either got to hide this body or you know just got to cut ties. What are you gonna do? I don't want to go to jail. Yes true. It's one or the other. I guess I don't want to get a shovel. Alright. We you gonna do? I don't wanna go to jail. Yes, true. It's one or the other. I guess I don't wanna get a shovel. All right. We fucking start digging. You don't stop digging until you're done.

Yeah. Okay, my help friend. We just totally broke him. We just like, he had like, oh god, he's thinking about the conversation. His moral center just got like, what did she say? What did she say?

Looks like Michael Jones is a better boyfriend Better be honest. Let me baby. Oh please don't kill anybody. I don't want to have to deal that bullshit I'm gonna kill somebody at a spite now I'm gonna show them like what are you gonna do about a mile? I'm gonna show my body. Which time you get in the fight? But you're gonna leave it. You're gonna come back with a dead body. I'm gonna be alive when I'm testing you. I'm testing you. It's gonna be alive when I get home after the podcast. This is gonna be a puddle of blood, and she's gonna be standing there with her hands on her hips.

Like, so what are you gonna do? Yeah. Decision's fine right now. I like, I don't think you have anything to be worried about. She didn't even want to dispose of that mouse you found. Oh my God. That she named, that they named Henry. I know when you told me that it had a name, I was like, oh, you're fucked. Oh, where is that mouse now?

Oh, no, she released it into the. She released in the woods outside our apartment We found a mouse and I was just gonna come back. We found a mouse in our apartment and I'll admit it was an adorable creature It was like the size of like two dimes on top of each other. It was very tiny I What a girls love animals so much Barbara I Don't cuz they like dudes. We are just disgusting animals. You know that right? I'm a classy guy. I'm not a videoclassy. I'm not a videoclassy.

I'm not a videoclassy. I'm not a videoclassy. I'm not a videoclassy. I've never been an animal person. Did you see what I pulled out of my ear? I'm disgusting. I am just like dead skin and wax being held together. So you found what made you think you had a mouse?

Did you like hear me? Well my roommate Mike saw it. One day he was up late and this thing just skirzy across the room and we had been gone that weekend And we came home and he's like hey guys. I'm pretty sure we have a mouse And we're like we don't have a mouse. This is a new apartment We don't have a mouse like I think I saw like a scurrying thing like we don't have a mouse Mike and my buddy Doyle gave him shit the whole time like oh you're crazy and then one night Doyle sees the mouse run across is like like guys Mike isn't crazy we should stop

giving him shit we should get some things to get rid of a mouse so they bought they made a mouse trap which was a fucking made a fucking board they came home they came home they ran air and air watch and sort online uh they were kind of well Doyle was kind of anyways I'm getting off topic they come home they kick in the door like we're gonna catch a fucking mouse they had drawn up a plan. I'll show you the picture. They drew up on a piece of paper, it was mouse trap by Steven and Mike.

Was Nathan Lane there? No. Why are you saying it in that boy? None of your room, it's not like a mouse trap. Mouse trap. That's a dramatic plan. Yeah, this is a plan. Yeah.

Anyways, they wrote it up and there was a shitty drawing of a box with a mouse inside saying, God, why have you forsaken me? Essentially, their plan was they looked online, you get a five gallon jug and then you get some sort of ramp whether it be like a ruler or something like that. You attach that to the lid of the bucket, okay? Then you drill two holes in the bucket. Take a close hanger, there's less steps to this. Then you take a soda can, drill two holes in the bucket. Take a close hanger, there's less steps

of this. Then you take a soda can, drill two holes in that. You put the soda can, you take the close hanger, you put the close hanger through the soda can like a shish kebab. Then you put the two ends of the close hanger through the holes on the bucket. So now you have this cylinder just floating in the middle of a pit, essentially. Cover the soda with a can with peanut butter. How it's supposed to work is, mouse runs up the ruler, smells peanut butter, tries to cross the, the close hanger, gets to the peanut butter as soon as it stands on, the cylinder of the cocaine spins,

and they fall into the bucket. That fucking contraption was in my living room for about like a week and a half. My roommate might came home one night and fell into it. My other roommate, my other roommate, who would have been the first to get a small five-yard. Doyle was supposed to get a small five-yard. Doyle was like, I built this thing, God damn it.

Doyle was supposed to get a small five-yard bucket. He got some huge square moving box thing. So he almost falls into it. And then, Doha, five minutes after we put it up, started licking the peanut butter up of the soda can. So it worked better on my roommates. That was in my living room for like a week and a half. And it didn't work. What got it was a fucking swiffer. One night, Doha comes home, he's having the beer or something, and the thing skurries across our living room and into our closet, and I'm in my room asleep,

go friends wearing headphones playing Minecraft, my other mate's asleep, he's just looking at the closet, and he's like, I have it cornered, so he's just going, Mike, Mike, he does not want to leave, because if I leave, it will move, and everyone will think I'm fucking insane. So he's sharing the door, Mike, Mike, he opens the closet, doesn't see it.

He grabs a swiffer out of the closet. Mike, nobody's coming, so he reaches with the swiffer down the hall and starts banging on our door, like, somebody please come out me. Aaron finally hears it, she comes outside, the mouse is in there, they start pulling everything out, it finally comes down to like one shoe box, is in the back corner of it, like this is it.

Move the shoe box, sure enough, Henry the little fucking mouse is right there like, oh fuck me! He runs out, he takes the swiffer and tries to stab it. My girlfriend's like, don't kill it! Don't kill it! I wake up like what the fuck's going on? I go out and even just stabbing the ground

with a swiffer. They finally captured, they throw it in the box. Oh, we got it. Oh my God, it's there. It's this little tiny thing. It was jumping like crazy, running around shit in itself and then like It was it was leaving these little brown speckles all over the thing it finally calms down Like finally we got it and then Aaron goes we should give it a name. Doyle. How about Henry me? No

No, we have to get rid of it right now. What's your name at your fuck? Yeah, I know she wanted to keep it for a day And it's like what if we had a little thing no no we have to get rid of it right now yeah I know she wanted to keep it for a day and she's like what if we had a little said no no we got to get rid of it no one else works a fucking mouse trap she would have no she was like we can't kill it has to be she made it doesn't kill him over it can it can it can do it have to with the size of the mouth to don't have 50 50 chance either it's gonna be killed or to not. Okay, I like those out. Road up in the air, man. And what's great was she tweeted about, like, we finally set the mouse free, and then everybody bum-bottled her with that video of that dude that releases a mouse that is

immediately swooped up my heart. Yeah, that mouse is dead right now. That is probably dead. Henry, you probably died a much more gruesome death than if you just killed it with a mouse man. I was going to sleep tonight. You're knowing that Henry could be out there somewhere cold and alone or rotting in some sort of hurt.

She didn't want to release it. She was like, what if it has like family to care for it's family? Just get rid of the mouse. There's a cute mouse. Look at your family. What if it's a chef like in Ratatouille? Ratatouille. That's not real.

What if the mouse knows how to cook? Also that was a rat. That was called fucking rat a two-y. One time, uh, what time in my house, I was in my house at night and I could hear like in the wall, I could hear like something chewing. Like crack, crack, crack. That's what chewing sounds like. Yeah, if you're chewing wood, that's what it sounds like.

And I was like, what the fuck is that? So I walk over here and I hear it like cramp cramp I'm like I don't know what to do because it sounds in the wall so I start punching the wall Get out of my I Don't think there was an animal in the wall. I think this is just really good. The noise stopped, so I was like, oh shit, it worked. So I run out, I don't know why I run outside,

and I look in my roof, and there's a pipe right there coming out of one of those gas pipes. And sitting on top of it is the giant rat. It just hunched over, I could see it, like, siloated in the moonlight. And I was like, you fucking asshole, I stopped picking up rocks before you had it. I saw it like jump off of the roof and like just start running hauling I said to run over to my neighbors yard. I was like yeah, that's right asshole

Your neighbors that time like oh god the alcoholics outside And in the next day My neighbors sent me a text message. They were like hey They were like, hey, um, they're like, uh, they're like, uh, they're like, we heard you outside, whatever, like they don't care. They know I'm weird, right? They're like, we heard you outside. And, um, this morning we found this in our yard.

They sent me a picture. It was a dead rat in their front yard. And I was like, I don't know how the fuck that happened. But that the asshole that was in my room was fucked. So that the asshole that was eating my house. It was quite, quite, quite, quite. Oh my God, it's great. But that's the asshole that was eating my house. It was quite, quite, quite, quite. Oh my god, it's great.

So then, like the next day, like, it became like super copic and then I was like, well shit, there's obviously animals can get into my house from that pipe or that tube or whatever that is in my roof. So I was like, well, I'll go up there and I'll take a look at it, because you know, I'm a handyman. No, no. Excuse me.

So like, I get a ladder and I like I get I start like climbing up there in its summer and I have a metal roof and I get up on my roof and I put my hands on it and I like instantly burn my hands. What's the fuck? It's like I go and I have to get gloves and I crawl up there and sure enough there's a fucking pipe that's like uncovered and you can see like straight into my attic. It's like fucking assholes. So I like go to Home Depot and like, how long had it been like that? A year and a half? Geez. And I'm like, and I don't know what I'm talking about.

I'm like, there's a pipe on my roof. It's like this big. I don't even know what you're talking about. And they were like, oh, and it was like, you have like a mesh closing thing? They're like, yeah, this thing. Like, oh, yeah, you idiot put this on it. I think, I was like this thing.

It goes on top of it. I was like, okay. I go to lows if like, I need some, I need a on it. It was like this thing that goes on top of it. I was like, OK, I go to lows. If I need some, like, I need a nitty thing, but like for a, like a roof, there can be, I'm just going to see myself out. I'm sorry. It's, it's, it's bad. The first house I lived in had a bed, pest problem. Uh, I, it's one of my earliest memories.

It's horrifying was we kept noticing that there were bees or hornets getting into our house and we're like surely there's a house into the house. Some like my parents like surely there's like some hole on the side like these hornets are getting in. Colt pest control. They were there all day. They go into our bathroom and they're like they're talking to like yes here's in music kid. I'm like I don't know what's going on. I see them talking to my parents. My parents look mildly horrified Okay, they're going into okay. What's this guy doing? He's got it like a big old hammer thing

He's going in my bathroom. Okay, now he's banging on the wall Okay, now I'm being escorted away. What's going on? Why are they taking me out of here? And I just see they they took out the wall And like the entire behind the drywall was this enormous nest like a wall of just like bees I would just registered those insects that are terrible like there behind the drywall was this enormous nest, like a wall of just like bees. I would just registered, those are insects that are terrible. There was an enormous nest of coordinates to the inside of my house. It was, I can't do swarms of things.

I know most people aren't like, yes, swarm of insects, that's great. But I've had bad experiences with ants. That's like a whore. It was like a wall of just like, the looker, I barely remember it. I don't remember it very well, but I just remember like Fuck like horrifying amounts of insects. Yeah, I'm terrified Yeah, that was in my that was in my first house

I just reminded me of like my last job when I worked for electrician Going through addicts and crawl spaces and stuff a lot a lot of times you'd find like dead squirrels and raccoons stuff like that like carcasses usually lives something like way way way usually they were like dry when we found them because they're just like there yeah yeah or just like just skeletons right so we were doing just like a ceiling a lighting job at somehow it's just putting in some recess lights and in the in ceiling, my boss would always, whenever he found something, he'd be like, oh, check this out, I'd be like, what's up?

And then he'd throw it at me. And I'm like, oh, you fuck! Like we're gonna be in a crawl space, like on our vellies, you know, it's like, whatever, two feet wide or whatever, and he'd like, chuck it back in my direction. It's an asshole thing he'd do. So we were in the ceiling and he found

like a dead squirrel or something like that. And he fucking propped it up, right? Like, like, look, because we weren't done yet, and we had to come back the next day, whatever. And he propped it up, looking out of the fucking hole in the ceiling, like, to like, fuck with me, and he's like, had it all day, and he left it there. And then, like, we went home, we went home,

and the day left, the fucking homeowner's came home, and the wife was so horrified by it. She had to ask her husband to go up and push it back a little bit. And then we got to know, please remove the dead animal, whatever. He was just fucking around with it, but he was just like, he's like,

well, I mean, it was already here when we got here. I didn't put it there, I just moved it. I moved it forward a little bit. So it was just like the head skeleton of a squirrel peering down out of an empty hole in the ceiling into their living room for like a night. Serious typical Jersey. It's like, hey, there was your dead animal.

I just moved it. Yeah. That's like a trick full of dead animals. You just point at the shell like that all the time. It was like a game of, because I've always been me, like fucking retard in the studio, but everyone's just like, ooh, how do you, you know, you can't go too suck

to the cursing or anything like that. It was like a switch when I worked for customers and I was in their house. There was like, boop, I would just say nothing. They'd always like tell my boss like, wow, he's really quiet. It's like, yeah, you don't want to hear me talk. So I would just be quiet,

but it was like a game of like the second thing or out of the room, or when my boss could see me, but they couldn't just be fucking as retard as you can. Like I would constantly like hump ladders and shit and like motion like I was jerking off. It was like we'd be in like a doctor's house. And I'd be like standing in this living room. I'm like I could see my boss like in the kitchen,

but then the customer was like around the corner. And I was just standing and be like, oh, my God, my boss like in the kitchen but then the customer was around the corner and I was standing like my boss would look at me and do that shit all the time. No never never. You're okay. Yeah. Yeah. The other day I was I don't know why we're talking about dead dried up animal cars. Before that one I'm about dead human people. I was I was watching my dog. It's like a little park in front of my house. I was like walking the dog around the park and I'm like I'm not paying attention like on my phone. I'm like looking at Twitter or something my dog like stops He's like sniffing at something and like what the fuck's he doing?

I look look down at him and there's like this flat dried squirrel It was like you could have picked it up and it would have been like firm like you could like freeze me Yeah, like a fucking and I was like you could have picked it up and it would have been like firm like you could like yeah Yeah, I was like oh How like how long is that thing been here? Yeah, like so that's a weird. Yeah, yeah I don't like wonder if like someone like some electrician found it and like I said oh look at the frisbee I'm like toss it out into the street. It's so weird It's gross noticing stuff like that it you T UTR remember on my walk straight to the communications building, there was a squirrel that had died and I passed it every day like, oh that's gross. It was there for like a month.

I passed it every day. I don't know why I didn't walk on the other side of the fucking sidewalk. I'm only being a shit I guess. Like over the course of like a month, I watched this thing just slowly decompose and nobody do anything about it. Myself, a clue to just like, oh that's fucking discussion. You're just out discussion of time lapse I just got told Chris has seen that same squirrel I

was during time of a ts to be kids camp. Yeah, it should be the UT mascot. I remember I remember because yeah, I taught a squirrel I'm right on a We ts to be had a thing called kind of thing called kids camp during the summer where they would teach Middle School and high school age kids like you know video production stuff like that and I remember one of the projects that we did was like You had to take interesting still shots and do something with a music video I don't know the whole thing but I remember my group of like middle school kids were like oh let's get a sweet shot of that Dead squirrel and we're gonna do a slow zoom on it. Oh, we're gonna do a rack focus on the dead squirrel.

And I'm just saying, they're like, yeah, that's, rack focus is a great. What the fuck is wrong with the old kids? Fucking kids. It's really weird, man. One time, you know, I went to college down at Rice in Houston. And it's, despite the fact that something down time, Houston has tons of trees and squirrels and things like that.

And I used to have a job there, a part-time job on campus. One morning, I had to wake up one Saturday morning and go to work. So it was like 7am on Saturday, like the campus is empty. And I'm like hungover, and I'm like shuffling to my job. And I'm passing by one of the houses on campus. And it's got a big wall. And you can't see behind the walls, like a 10 foot wall.

And I look up in the tree, there's this tree that's hanging over the house. It's like a huge tree. And then like 40 feet up, I can see this squirrel. I'm like, oh look, that's really cute. That squirrel's like all happy and active and he's like jumping around and he jumps from one branch to another but doesn't make it and then from 40 feet up, I just see him. And he falls behind the wall and I see the thud. I was like, oh my god.

That was just a girl commit suicide. It was like a gross little, like a little, you know what I was like. That's gross. Happy is convenient, that was a damn. That's an honor that you didn't, you saw everything but the last second. It was like, oh, and then it was gone.

It just disappeared and you never saw it again. Did you stand for a second? Like maybe it'll come back up over the wall. I said, I said, I said, I was like hung over and it was like, did I really just see that? Like did that just happen? Like I never, you never see a squirrel miss. Yeah, no, it's rare.

Yeah, I guess. I guess when they're jumping and I just go. This was not a flying squirrel. I guess not. Fucking crater squirrel. God. Poor squirrel. Rest in peace. Rest in peace, Sparky a flying squirrel. I guess not. Fucking crater squirrel. Poor squirrels. Rest in peace, Sparky. Poor squirrels. That reminds me of... We had a... Sorry, we had a...

Burmese. Yes, we are. We had a bad run here at the office. What if there's a squirrel listening to the podcast? People think squirrels are cute because of like... They're just rails and shit. They're fucking rats. Yeah, filthy disgusting.

They're rotas. So rats are cute. We had a bad run. We had a bad run.. Some rats are cute. We had a chat. We had a chat. We had a chat. We had a chat. Here, over the holidays, where one day, I think it was like right after Christmas, I pulled up and I parked and I was like, oh, look, there's a dead raccoon right here in front of the office.

So we had to call like pest control to come and take it away. And then they came and they showed up and they're like, oh, it's 40 bucks. Yeah, please take the dead bloated rotting raccoon out of here. Then the next day, I'm driving up to the office and I'm like, it away. I mean, they came, they showed up and they're like, oh, it's 40 bucks, yeah, please take the dead bloated rotting raccoon out of here. Then the next day, I'm driving up to the office, and I'm like, there's a dead fucking cat from the office. Like, how did this happen?

Like, back to back days. It's like, else in graveyard, shitty animals. Is it like some sort of poison in our grass? No. For eating. It was like, god damn it. Poisoned ladies surrounding y'all. He's asking if there's poison in our grass. Yeah. Like we got like, we got like, we got like, it's like a spray like. Okay, I guess I was like, I was like god damn it poison blades Surrounding you ask if there's poison in that guy. Yeah, like we like spray like okay. I guess I was like I was imagining like yeah

We're gonna I think we're gonna use this as a city also how much is it extra for the poison that why we all got injections on our first Immune it's like to keep people out Burglar's trespasser fans We you've been you've been on a big billbiv devol poison kick lately. Dude, I don't know what it is, but all of a sudden I've got a really strong taste for that song. It's funny, because Esther and I decided that Poison was the song of the year for 2013. Yep.

It's our jam for this year. It's the song of the year every single year. It never sounds like 1990 or whatever that song came out. Yeah, you and I were trying to decide on something to do at RTX. Originally we were thinking Gangnam Style. Like something to do that's obviously over. Yeah. And then we kept going back further and further.

We're just like, oh, evolution of dance, the Macarena. And then, I think we've decided on Poison. Bill Bipped a Vogue Dance Off. Yep. That girl's poison moves in that music video. You never trust a big button this mile. That girl is poison. Jesus.

I used to, I had a poison cassette tape when I was a little kid. I don't know, I don't know when poison came out, like, 1990 or 91, right? So I had like this promotional cassette tape. Like, it was just one song. It was poison on each side. And you were like, what? And then you would just put it in the play poison

on the other side of Flip It. You know what's been in the poison on each side. And you were like, I'm in there, you would do that. What? You were playing poison on the other side, you flip it. You know what's better than poison? Poison. Poison. You never had to rewind it. Right. And it just like, it goes forever. I think it was the best thing ever.

Back when you had to use cassettes. And I loved that casserole plate all the time. And my sister, one time, she knew I liked it. She just fucking, she grabbed it. And she just took all of the tape out. And just like crumbling all like and And I was like what the fuck did you do? My poison my poison

It's the same sister who took your bike and then rode down there Who's her own hand? And they said it's good Also one time when I was a little kid I went to that Astro's baseball game Houston Astro's baseball game and God I must have been like six. And I met an old Astros baseball player named Jose Cruz. And like, he was like doing practice and warm up and stuff. And he gave me a baseball.

I was like, oh shit, you know, it's a- A baseball player, yeah. He's like, you threw me a baseball and I caught it. I was like, oh awesome. That's really awesome. It was like this thing, I really loved as a kid. And I like, I kept it like in a plastic box. And it was like on my desk.

And I loved it. One day, I fucking came home. Yeah, it was like that. And there was like on my desk and I loved it one day I fucking came home Yeah, it's like that and there was like pen scribble. Oh Fuck and I was like you had the body What happened to this and my sister's like oh, yeah, I wrote on it. What a bitch? Even confessed to yeah, she was like what you like yeah, I your that thing you love I wrote all over it She was like 11 and I was like 15 did you punch her thing you love? I wrote all over it. How old was she? She was like 11, and I was like 15. Did you punch her in the face?

I wanted to murder her. Why'd you hide in the body? Especially because it was after the poison thing. I was already like, oh my God. I'm not gonna kill you. Wow. It's fucked up, dude. I think it's pretty good for a cat.

I still hold that shit inside of me. It's like, it's what good for me as a person. It's like, let it out, Gus. It's like poison in my baseball. You have to catch the ball. Do you want to switch seats? You can lay on the couch and talk about it. Talk about it. Talk about it. Does anyone else have any like fucked up siblings or like stories of siblings? Um, I did something bad to my older brother.

Oh, you're the bitch. Yeah. What did you do? Okay, what did you do? She's the girl. So she gets to wait with it. I was too young to really realize, but I was too, and my brother was four, and we were in Florida, and I had a stroller that my parents were pushing me around in, and for some reason, they took me out

to like show me something or hold me for a minute, and my older brother sat in my shoulder because he loved to just piss me off all the time. And I got so angry that I leaned down and I scratched him right across the face, like, run under here. He had a scar for that entire trip and he still has it to this day. Oh my God. As a two-year-old gave my older brother a scar under his eye because he sat in my shoulder. Wow. Jesus. Sorry, Jesus. I just remember how to do it.

You shouldn't lay on this couch. No, no. You're face fucking clawed off by Wolverine. I had a I think it was the Lego Aquinot set or something like that. It was this giant underwater like yellow base. It was like the biggest Lego thing I'd ever had. And I spent ages trying to build it, making it perfect. I was like, yeah, that stingray is going to go here. That's a fucking sweet stingray, making my little submarine stuff like that. And I was so excited I was going to show my parents what I did.

And I put like the finishing touches on it. I go, mom, and my little brother has a basketball goes Ah, and just threw it and it just just it was just in slow motion my entire like month of progress was just destroyed I Know we got along. Would you hide the body? I Used to do fucked up things for my sister to Was the worst thing you ever do fucked up things to my sister too. Like, what was the worst thing you ever did? You about to lose all of the time.

One time? Well, I'm going to tell another story before I tell the bad stuff I did. I was like, I'm in traction with this. I mean, traction for accidents. Like, one time, like, with the house I lived in, we had a pretty big backyard of another kid. And over the backyard, we're some power lines. They were pretty high up.

They were like, really? I don't know. I have no idea now. Looking back how high they were. It's just a kid. They seemed like, really high. I have no idea now, looking back how high they were. Because this kid, they seemed like they were mile up in the air. But one time I was hanging out with a friend of mine, we must have been like thinking like second or third grade. And we had a football.

And we were trying to kick the football over the power line. So he was on one side and I was on the other. We were like, kick the football up, and then he'd get it, and then kick it back. That's all we were doing. One time, I was waiting for my friend, he kicked it, like literally right as he dropped the ball and kicked it, my sister came out of the back door,

started running around like an idiot, and the ball came and landed and hit her right on the top of the head, and she just stopped, started crying and then like ran right back in, it was like, you couldn't plan to do that. And like another time, like me and another friend, we're like throwing rocks, because that's what little boys do, right?

You're like in the, in the art frame. That's what child isn't about, right? Yeah like throwing rocks because that's what little boys do Right, you're like in the Throwing rocks and you shouldn't be throwing that I like wind up I throw the rock and like right as I let go my sister comes running Like she just falls down into the ground Starts trying to get something runs back in I was like I'm gonna get trouble for that So your sister is like a duck with a target peanut. I get the carnival. Is that what you see? Is this such a cool one?

You really get it that game. I used to try to trick her that dog biscuits were totally fine to eat and that people could eat them. But they were so delicious that our parents didn't want us to eat them. Because the dog would never get them. So I would like to make like, I would eat them all the time. And then she would make her eat them as she would eat them for real I actually just ate like dog jerky sticks

Like they can strips no like like they're busy like slim gym shapes except they're just cylinders for dogs Yeah, there's like long cylinders. I would just eat them. They weren't as good as slim gyms No, I bet that's but it's better than dog food.'s like half it was like halfway in a zombie apocalypse or something like I could eat those for the rest of my life I think like everybody on Facebook. You just like I'm gonna try eating it like as a kid. Did anybody face? Well, no, I'm not like every day I remember what's that I'm gonna eat it my brother. I would just try things like today. It's grass Not great. Tomorrow, dog food. Like, hello, my brother and I, I just remember

I just remember just trying to get out of foods to try. I think all we did was grass dog food. Okay, just over and over. It was a strong two days. My sister really serious face. My sister had a problem where she would eat June bugs and... Oh, and Hill bugs.

What the fuck? Yeah, like you couldn't, I had to make sure there weren't any around the house because if there were, you would eat them. Was that something your parents would be like, all right, now listen, take a perimeter, make sure there's none because your shit's just gonna fucking, when you leave the lights on and it was dark outside, like the June bugs would come on the screen and like,

like hang out there and I'd have to be like, no get out of here, you're gonna get eaten. I'm not gonna be protecting the fucking massive head trauma you gave her as a true ghost. Would she kill them and then eat them or get some lies? No, she's like, I'm gonna go with this like, you know. That's, I, I had to, I grew up, I grew up in a, why are we grazing over this so quickly?

Like, I don't fuck down your nose. Dude, but, bugs are good for you. Full of protein, ask for grass. Full of protein. Full of protein. I just like how I imagine your parents telling you to do these doors to protect your sister and to protect bugs from the sister. Make sure there's no bugs. Make sure your sister's gone.

Make sure you get out and turn those lights off. Your sisters are going to get out there and beat and bug. Someone tweeted, why is your sister in monster? The problem was you could never get rid of the pill bugs because they were like in the dirt right? Yeah, pick up a rock and they're there. These things just live in shit, right? So they're everywhere like you can do anything about that like I get rid of all the June bugs She'd be like oh, I'll just go pick up a rock Stop me

Me and snow Where is Oh God, that's why I think So that couldn't have been it. I never really fucked with my brothers because they're older than me. So I just got my asshole fucking kicked in. Not by my oldest brother because they're like,

he's not kicked in. He's nine years older than me. Is your asshole already kind of kicked in? No, like kicked in hardcore. Like I was like, is this my stomach or my asshole? Like my belly button, my asshole, are cutting each other. They were like back to back.

So my oldest brother moved out in Monte College when I was nine. So it's like, I barely remember living with him, but my middle brother six years old with him. And I very vividly remember living with him. But even when I was younger, not like as like a let's fuck with Michael thing, but my oldest brother David was in the backyard and him and his friend who were probably like,

I was probably like seven or eight at the time. I was probably like seven, so he's 15, 16. So when his friend had this, my father had some sort of like PVC pipe on the side of the house that was like broken and he had it like laying there for like garbage. And these assholes pick it up and they start throwing it in the backyard for they're like, oh, we're a fucking pole vaulting.

We're like, we're like, we're, we're, we're javelin, javelin, sorry. We're like, oh, we're javelins. They weren't flying through the air. But they're like, oh, we're throwing a jabbaling. I think you think a couple of times, and I walk out, and I'm like seven years old, I'm like, retard. I'm like, oh, it's going on.

They're like, oh, yeah, we're throwing a jabbaling. Go out there and see where it lands. Oh, my god. I'm like, all right. First fucking time I walk out there, fucking goes up. I'm like, oh, oh, it hit me right in the fucking face. It was like one inch above my eye. I don't remember what my left arm I right eye. And it's just was like one inch above my eye. I remember my left eye,

my right eye. And it's just like, I just remember like this. And then just like blood washing over my face. So how far did it go? It didn't go through my brain. I mean, what was the measurement on the throat? I didn't have the tape. I didn't know how the fuck they expect me to know. Like, I didn't have anything. Just like, go out there and see where it lands. Like, they couldn't tell. Yeah. Like didn't know how the fuck they expected me to know. Like I didn't have anything. Just like go out there and see where it lands. Like they couldn't tell. Like they didn't want to walk out there. Because just like every time I tell,

every time like that story comes up, it always pisses me off. Cause like my mother will tell it and be like, Dave was out there playing and then Michael just runs out there. Like bullshit, bullshit. He called me and was like, Hey, go stand out there and see where it lands. And you weren't watching your children.

Now they're one of them. There's a terrible parenting. There's a video on the internet you can find of this like a story to a javelin competition. Someone throws a javelin and it hits the official like in the leg. It like spears it but he is so so dedicated. He still pulls out his flag and a mark square would have been He's still like oh here's right here. Oh my god. There's a javelin in me Did he just take a flag out and put it in his leg? They're like the ambulance came and drove them off like world record It could go oh

The guy who throw it's like yeah, that was a good throw It's right away the whole middle guy. Do you think they got me through it sent that guy a card or something like a fucking fruit basket like Hallmark has one sorry. I feared you Keep your spirits high. Yeah, I don't think you could be a guest barber. Maybe you didn't know. Holy shit. Okay, well, we've been going for a while.

We should probably wrap things up here on a high note. I was going to stall the podcast like in true Bernie fashion. No. Oh There was one thing I wanted to talk about before we went Dix But no They were a sponsor last week and you know, I don't have to talk about it this week But you guys really should start watching Spartacus if you have it

Jack and I are the ones who are watching it now and I can only talk to Jack about it so much So I've got to have more people to talk with. Do you think we can make a remake called Sparta Cats and just have a show like that? That's a great idea. Yeah. I don't think you really felt like it. Could the cat be cat girls with face on your face? Yeah, great idea.

And very scantily glad. How many season obviously? There have been two and the third one starts. I was trying to finish the first two because the third one's going to premiere this Friday. But I'm not going to get the it. Was there a gap or something? So there were two and then there's like another series. I don't know how it fits in. It's like a prequel. So I think it's season one, season two, then the prequel and then season three. Interesting. Because I think the the guy who was the main character passed away. So they were waiting to see

if you were going to get better or not. And you did. After he passed away? Well, before. OK. And sadly, he did not. So they went forward with another actor. I really knew that guy one time, the guy who

was the original Spartacus at San Diego Comic Con. We were having a breakfast for our DVD distributor. They're having like buyers over trying to convince him to care Red versus our DVD distributor. They're having like buyers over, like trying to convince him to care red or split DVDs. And like that guy walked in, and like grabbed a donut and a cup of coffee. And then like the people were like, are you a buyer, are you here for the DVDs?

He's like, he's like, nope, you're for a donut and a coffee. So holy shit, that's the guy's spark. At the time I didn't watch the show yet. Like it wasn't like that big a deal. I was like, holy crap, there he is. He's like, he's eating my donuts and drinking my coffee. Starts so start truck.

There you go. So start truck. The most start truck I've ever seen anyone was Jeff when he saw Andre 3000 at San Diego Comic Con. Really? You're like, you're that'd be awesome. He was crossing the street and Jeff like wet himself.

The most start truck I've seen you was at Pax Prime last year when you saw the guy who does the voice of Lewis from Leifer Dead. Oh really? Yeah, both of you in general just like, could I get a picture with you? You can, he gave me his business card. You can email him and if you pay him like 10 bucks, he'll record like custom audio files.

Right after it was podcasted. Oh shit. Yeah, so it's like, so you can take like the audio file and make it like your voice mail. on your file. On your file. On your file. On your file. On your file. On your file. On your file. On your file. On your file. On your file. On your file. On your file. On your file.

On your file. On your file. On your file. On your file. On your file. On your file. On your file. On your file. On your file.

On your file. On your file. On your file. On your file. On your file. On your file. On your file. On your file. On your file. On your file. On your file. On your file. On your file. those last few things we could talk about. All right, well thanks for watching everyone, and we'll see you back again next Tuesday at 730. Buy your RTX tickets.

Bye. Describe the show to a newcomer in a more familiar way. Do you like apples? All right, example. Together in Trempit hosts, Characombs, Characombs are free to deas of nothing to do with this podcast. Analyze various unsolved,

and Ruestr's cryptic podcast. F**k face. Call to action. Feel free to add something show premise specific, but short. Listen to show name on Apple Spotify or wherever you get podcasts. It's f**k face, a podcast. Subscribe or no. You do yes?

a podcast. Subscribe or know. You do yes?