Rooster Teeth Podcast - RT Podcast #208

Episode Date: March 6, 2013

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It's time to put your pedal to the metal. From the twisted minds behind Deadpool and Zombieland, an executive producers, Will Arnett and Anthony Mackie comes the new Peacock original series, Twisted Metal, a high-oxane action comedy based on the classic video game series. Anthony Mackie stars as John Doe, a motormouth outsider who must deliver a mysterious package across a post-apocalyptic wasteland. If he can survive the drive, also starring Stephanie Beatriz, Samoa Joe, Nev Campbell, Will Arnett, and Thomas Hayden Church.

Twisted metal, streaming now, only on Peacock. This podcast is brought to you by Audible.com, the internet's leading provider of audiobooks with more than 100,000 downloadable titles across all types of literature, including fiction, nonfiction, and periodicals. For free audio book of your choice, go to audiblepodcast.com slash rooster teeth. This episode of the Rooster Teeth podcast is also brought to you by Shutterstock.com. With over 700,000 high quality video clips, Shutterstock helps you take your creative projects to the next level. For 30% off your new account, go to Shutterstock.com and use offer code Roostertief3.

That's Roostertief and the number 3. Hey everyone, welcome to the first of the podcast. Do you wanna do this? Yeah, episode number 208. Bernie. Hi. How are you? Hi everybody.

Welcome to the internet. We're your host for the evening. So today we got Gus, Gavin, Joel, Bernie. I'm happy Joel's here. Yeah, welcome back to me. I would anyone be happy about that. I don't know you're happy. Joel's not happy to be here, but I'm happy, Joel's here. Yeah, well, in fact, I would anyone be happy about that. I don't know, you're happy. Joel's not happy to be here, but I'm happy that Joel's here.

Well, I'm happy, Joel, you're just in Vegas. I was, you should be really happy. Well, hopefully you'll come back really happy. Did you get what Jack? Yes, I did. I was it. It was good. I mean, but that's the thing.

It's like I was in Vegas Sunday. Now it's Monday, so this is not. I'm not in ideal form right now. Because I tired. Wait, tired. It was like a break even for me but learn some lessons but it was fun. Learning the lessons part of the break, did you get a valuable education for a few dollars? I got a valuable education for a few dollars. Learning growing process, so learning growing and it's better to lose money now when you're betting a little amount versus. So are you like everyone else in the company?

Have you moved from Blackjack to playing Crap's on a regular basis? No, I'll just play Blackjack. I just play Crap's just for what? I don't really play Crap's that much. You have a little luck. So the last time, I don't think I was playing Crap's with all these guys were in elementary school. I don't think I told you this story, but the last time I was in Vegas, I was playing Crap's and all these guys were in elementary school. I don't think I told you this story, but the last time I was in Vegas, I was playing Crap's and like the pit boss

to the table, I was that gotten mad at me? Yeah, what'd you do? I went on a crazy run. I was the shooter and I was winning, winning, winning. I went up huge, went up big time. And I rolled a seven, and as soon as I rolled a seven, I was like, all right, I'm gonna cash out. That's it.

He's a dog should not be drinking red bull. Oh, red bull for the dog. So like, as soon as I rolled seven, I cashed out, and if it boss looked up at me and said, we don't quit when we're up on you. Wow, are you really? And I was like, it's like, is he making permission? I mean, yeah. I think you're doing okay, the casino looks really nice.

Yeah, I mean, you guys are doing, I hear you're a little bit profitable. Yeah, it's like, you're probably going to get this back. I just want to hold on for a little while. A casino is like the only thing in the world where it's like, here's a license to print money. If you get a license to run a casino, it's a license to print money. Well, the thing about why the casino always wins is that,

they have a, yeah, you can go up and down all frigging days, right? Oh, by the way, if you're hearing that whining dog, he's now all over the church, like a motorbiter. That is rebel, that is Adam's's dog and he comes to the office and something funny happened to Joe My we got a guy with a board now right stuff on the board Mike He's killing the mic Can I air dog? Yeah, I'm glad we we got rid of the cat who did not bother the mic and now we have a dog

I want to come back to that a second or we can talk about it now but the reason why you can't ever meet the house in Vegas is you can go up and down all day but you can't ever get the house to zero when the house gets you to zero and you got no money left you're done well also every game they have a statistical advantage of you of like you know 51% on every picture mic the dog like totally missed it up all right I want to talk about this for a second. Let's go to the cat home. So Joe the cat went home. And what was the main reason why Joe the cat went home? Because he stunk.

He was the most expensive cat in the history of all that was Evon's reason. I came to find out after the fact that he set up the alarm so many times that the city of Austin charged just $1,100. I'm going to call bullshit on this after the fact story. You knew we told you every time Well, I didn't know we cost so much goddamn money and you said you got rid of him because he Produced some kind of like you smell that was your big thing. He pissed everywhere

Well, dude look at what's behind goth There's a jug of of just yeast shit that that right behind goth It looks like plus Gus decided it would be a good idea to do what today brew beer you brewed beer in the goddamn podcast Everyone noticed as well everyone saying nice sweet home brew you go that it's fucking it smells terrible I know nothing. It's gonna be awesome. Well, you know what no beer for you buddy Listen you can look at that horrible shit. There's like three layers of crap in there. Nice three layers of deliciousness We've got some yeast and some malt in there. It's all going to be in a ferment.

And three weeks are going to be enjoying. Well, the way it's gone paleo. Every person goes to the lab. Well, it's perfect. And it usually happens around like your sophomore year of college, where everybody has a buddy who's like, they discover about brewing beer. And you get to that process.

Like, the podcast is about that old. It's kind of in his sophomore year of college where it's like, well, we have to start brewing our beer. And then everyone's gonna get poisoned. Yeah, I wanted to brew it during the live stream, but we realized that it actually would take a long time. It would probably take long in the stream with Rand. Yeah, how's that going?

I mean, what stage are you in, right? Did you start this today? Yeah, yeah, so like we just, right before we went live, we put it in the fermenter as it's called, and it'll sit there for three weeks. So is it actually worthwhile, money-wise to brew your in there? Or is it in the fermenter as it's called and it'll sit there for three weeks. So it's actually Worth while money wise to bring on bear is it just the same? Save money doing it. I think over time you do, but you know I mean, there's yet to buy like that jar and shit you don't buy that normally like normally you just get your beer how much was it?

I Think all the supplies to make the one gallon of beer was Excuse me. I don't want to say 70 bucks. It's like you're a small version of breaking bad. They're gonna pop off the caps, they're gonna get everywhere. Yeah we got like a crimper to put the caps on. Yeah, she have like the, the chocolate metal stuff. It all comes as part of the kit. And you said you were dying because you tasted

some of it earlier. No I did not. In Bernie's defense it did not smell good. It smelled fucking terrible. No everybody loved it. Everybody loved it. Boyled and asked. At first we were boiling the mall. It didn't in Bernie's defense. It did not smell good. It smelled fucking terrible Boyled and at first we're boiling the the malt. It smelled delicious. It smelled great smell like a malt home meal or like Something like that. I hate that smell too. Do you like whoppers? Yeah, fuck I hate those things I hate walk. Oh, when Dave was oh wait. Wait. I thought you went Burger King whoppers. You knew the candy whoppers candy Whopper milk balls fucking terrible. Yeah, when Dave was wopper. Candy wopper. Fucking terrible. I hate those.

When Dave was doing the makeup, she was, she was smelling it and she was good. Yeah, Carol was helping me the entire time and she was just gagging. You hate all smells Gavin. How is it possible that you got out of it without gagging? It wasn't that bad. You stuck his face and you got a big nose hole. I'm worse with, What I said the deal is if you like start earlier in the process, you can't really detect

it. Oh, it smells fine. It's slowly the degrades, but you can't tell. I'm worse with texture. Just like process, you can't really detect it. It's not fine, but it's a little bit degrade, but you can't tell. I'm worse with text, just like sloppy text. Don't think about it, don't think about it. Please forget, sake. So a couple of questions here. First of all, people in the Twitter questions

were tweeting on pound RT podcast. They're asking a couple of questions. They're asking, first of all, Gavin, did you die your hair darker? No, No, did you I didn't I don't know why you just got a hair darker. Yeah, my head's short Also everyone wants to know what to know about your shirt explain your shirt. This shirt came out tomorrow Are you in Australia right now? Yeah, it's this week's t-shirt Tuesday. It's from one of our trials Let's place the front flip for style. He's wearing a front flip for style shirt. Gonna know when over here I can show a little better There you go actually a hundred on the yoke back there I tried this is the best angle is the best I've ever looked on camera

I tried to do a front flip today on awi when we were showing it and I landed upside down on my neck It was painful. Yeah, I mean awi today. Yeah, that looked miserable Yeah, the funny thing is when you did your front flip, you kicked the camera, but you kicked the camera hard enough to move it, but not hard enough to knock it over. That's really precise. Yeah, it was protection. Yeah, you just like with the trailer leg,

you just kicked the hell out of the HVX camera. Yeah. So, is that one, we have one camera that we use to shoot, aww, and I think that's pretty much the only thing that camera's ever used for, except people always get it out and move it around, I think to fuck awws. And I think that's pretty much the only thing that cameras ever used for, except people always get it out and move it around, I think to fuck with Jack. I think so. I think Brandon does.

He takes the plate off of it. That's the one that we always hear about. Oh, the tripod plate. Are we like sharing the plate? Is the plate good other cameras or something? Yeah, I guess it's like, you can work on several different cameras. Yeah, he's real, he's real sensitive about that camera.

It's very protective. That camera went to get Vegas with us It did yeah, it's bonded with us. Yeah, would you film? It was just we just took it for no reason you took it you wanted to take it to play learn how play blackjack Yeah, exactly don't let the casinos now. Yeah, he was on his way back from San Francisco from a thing. Oh, right, right Yeah, I don't know if I can talk I don't know what we can talk about See I could that's I don't talk about anything. Yeah, cuz you don't know can we can talk about. I don't talk about that. I don't talk about anything. Because you don't know.

Can we talk about the shirt? Wow, Gab, what a nice shirt. It's pretty sweet. You want to talk about it? Yeah, it's fine. We get a shirt that says not let it talk about the shirt. Have an NDA agreement on the back. You did not see this.

You did not see this shirt. The shirt is not fit for... If you can't read this, you shouldn't have. So, Apple, I'm watching the patent office, and Apple has filed a patent with the patent office over a new eye watch. And I watch. And it's supposed to look like a slap bracelet. Right. Oh yeah. Well my I have a I have a Nike fuel man. If you can you see this. So I'll tell you this in a way that you can see it. There you go. I might be better.

What the fuck with a fuel band is right? What? People know what a fuel band is right? Yeah,, but look, I'm gonna hold it up. Did you see where's your camera? I can't, yeah, it's like right there, but I'm like, you're not able to turn it towards it. There we go. Alright, so you can see here, I have a nice fuel band that like, it's an LED and it goes to like, two lots of different settings. What is it? I don't understand what's the point of this, I don't know how I'm gonna go.

It's got like a cool display. This is like essentially a pedometer. See, it's still, that kind of technology is still a high level of douche, isn't it? Why? Why I mean it is. Techno-weeners. No, it is.

I'll agree. Is it? It is? Yeah. What, this is it? Yeah, you're like, oh, look at me. I'm counting my steps, and I spent way too much money. Well, even if you try and be subtle about it,

like, it's a little. Well, yeah, because it's a thing that's supposed to be functional, but I mean, theoretically, you could just put in your pot. You could have a thing. I can't put in my pocket. It's like a blue piece. They could have a thing. I can't put in my pocket. I wouldn't know if they could put a They could put a blue piece. They could sell a thing that wasn't a wristband that you put in your pocket And it would work just fine. But now it's gonna be

I'm trying to help out with the discussion of the I want No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no And sometimes suddenly like the other day I was dinner with someone and someone was just like Got me at my goal. Who did that? Wasn't it what is your goal? You have goals They were so proud of what we like we don't we like talk about it. Does it have to do with San Francisco? No, I was your son We weren't there But it talk about it. Does it have to do with San Francisco? No, I was your Sam no we weren't there But it's still a high-level douche Absolutely, I don't care one day I will come out but Your piece is while you're at it, but did blue to the pieces ever not become douchey now ever become not douchey no

Yeah, yeah, those things are just these things are absolute douchey although I have blue tooth in my car The connects I guess I have a microphone somewhere in my truck. And so I can just like take a call over my car speakers. And I always think, I must look like I'm fucking talking to myself, like I'm maniac, just like talking away about nothing. And I always heard the DIA. That's how you appeared to us right now.

Right now. What's the service, the on-star? That the operators can connect through your microphone and just listen in the car. I've heard that. Is that a rumor or is that true? Well, if there's a mic in your car, if you can be paranoid about it, then I mean, you wouldn't have a camera in your house controlled by the web. We just brought this up. So I, even though I was, right? Fuck no, I would have that. You've been putting stickers over cameras on laptops for as long as they persisted.

I'm not like looking at an eye looking back. But what are you doing in front of your laptop? The so secret? I mean imagine the look on your face. You really want to see what your face looks like while you're just like eyes glazed over, but someone wants to stare at that. Or in front of your marks.

Do you go half the times that I get my kids to stop watching TV? It's not because I'm concerned about their mental health. It's because I can't stand the looks on their faces when they're watching TV. I'm like, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you I don't know what it is something it has bar none. This is a huge tangent. This doesn't why would you ask when we've seen I have to have the people who work here watch these fucking kids shows like everybody watches adventure time Yeah, I can't wait to get home so I can watch my DVR gum ball Well, anyway, it has great voice actors for kids. They're awesome voice actors That they might be adults and just have kid voices or whatever but they're fucking awesome

So speaking of kid voices. Did you see, is that headline true? I was like the worst segue ever by the way. That Verizon found a child predator who was storing child pornography images in the cloud on their service. And they contacted the police. They did what? They saw child porn stored in the cloud on someone's phone. So they contacted the police and turned in this guy.

Really? Yeah. So how did they see that? Right. It was back in the monitoring. I mentioned someone muttering where it's like, I didn't click the checkbox that says strangers can't look into my thing.

Or again, it doesn't matter. The system is going to. Right. Yeah. That's the thing. If somebody can't exploit, you know this system is gonna. Right. Yeah, that's the thing. If somebody can't exploit, you know, if this is... Obviously, in this case, I'm glad the guy got caught. I'm glad that this particular instance happened.

Sure, but yeah. No, okay, look. Not endorsement in any way, but the idea that it's okay to do something to monitor people all the time because you catch one person bad doing something does not justify it in it. I'm gonna say just a while. I'm just saying I'm glad they caught him. That's Gavin's mentality about cameras on the corners in the UK everywhere.

It's fine. It's a public place. You shouldn't be munking off in a public place. If you don't want to be caught doing that. Do you? What? I didn't do that. You know about. Never munked in public? Never munked it in public. Really? You never done anything in public? No. I mean, you don't do that. You know about never munked in public. Never munked in public. Really? You never done anything in public? No. I mean, you don't do that. Yeah.

You're in America now, though. What do you mean, yeah? What have you done in public? I thought I didn't. Yeah, it's different things. Yeah. You never done anything in public in any way. What's a, what's a, what's a, what's a, what's a, what's a, what's a, what's a, what have you done in public?

What have you done in public? He's gone freeing you. I'm pretty much he was uploading food. You were munking with a thump? We had a discussion before the start of the worst case there would be like getting caught in your house. Somebody connects to your camera. You'll munking off with a thump up your ass.

Your own thumb or someone else's thumb. Your own. Which is worse. And then tell me what this was, isn't it? Tell came over to the perfect events, which is after all these years, we finally have a good reason to know the mega-64 guys, because we would immediately just say,

oh, I was glad for any of you. I was glad for any of you. The mega-64, I'm really good. Like, we could do the worst possible thing, and just shove in stuff up your ass or whatever. It's like, yeah, rock-o, man, he looks great. That's great. That's what those things gather to prop, everyone.

But what would be worse, what could they see you doing that was worse than that? Alone, I don't know I guess but child porn in the cloud I guess would be up to I really don't know what would be worse. I mean, it's like I mean what up you done in public What do you want to know what were you doing? I've jerked it in public and I've been I've done both those things How did you make it to you to your New Year's and never jerked you? I'm gonna both those things

No, I've done both But I guess it's sort of like what do we what do we designate? Or you in your house if you were not in your house you're in public No, I mean you're among the public not you're outside when nobody can see you're in public. That's not true. No, it's not true. I mean, you're among the public, not you're outside when nobody can see. You're still outside in the public. Where's the public? The street. No, yeah, everybody's banged in public. Yeah, absolutely.

Absolutely. I mean, if you're, you know, when you're 18 and it's like you live with your parents, you gotta go drive. And when you're 15, you can't get laid. Yeah, jerked in public. That's the way it works. That's half the reason why you get a car at 16.

Yeah. It's for brag, my own private. You's the way it works. That's the reason why you get a card 16. Yeah. It's for Prague, my own private. You learn how to drive fast. Come on. I can jerk off, going in the highway. Yeah, but never. You never done anything in public that you can potentially get caught. Every time I see pictures from a UK club, it's people getting, as you say, I, what did you call it? You might get Swift Blowie and an alley behind the club or something. I swift blowy Yeah, people seem like people in the UK. Do they have this in Amsterdam? Oh, yeah You went to Amsterdam. You didn't go. I didn't know I didn't go you know right next you were 40 minutes from Amsterdam

You didn't go well now when you're with Jason and Gus You're not 40 minutes because there's trains and they're drunk and like you can you can take you 40 minutes to get back from me I remember you guys being like well, we missed a stop and then we went and then we were you know Oh, I was it it was it was a trip. But yeah, what else are we doing? I mean you're that close like that Right, I mean you're right. It was just I knew it was gonna be it was an ordeal It was like it was a way ordeal. It was like six hours on the train try aren't they like not selling weed to anyone who's not a citizen No, that's they refuse to enforce that law. They said oh they did. Yeah, they refused

I think it's a law, but then it's not enforced also I mean quite frankly if you go to a Dutch prison isn't that better than like a lot of the hotels I suppose you're about the Dutch prison prison system. Where's it? Is it the duck was it? It's like just open door policy like walking in and out that makes that's why I understand What would their unemployment rate it probably makes sense? I don't understand people who stay homeless when all they could do is Just commit a crime in them. They'll be home. I mean, I mean a lot of people are probably going to adapt to being homeless a Blood Asian they could think they could adapt to being a frickin prison, dude

Well, I'd rather be homeless than having a dude try and have sex with me I mean, at least you can be able to walk around and do whatever you want as opposed to like being locked up somewhere with Yeah, but at least you'd be warm at night. I guess I just didn't count him But when you see someone in London huddled up on Christmas Eve like with a box and a bite Well, that's what I was wondering too if you're homeless in America. Why are you homeless in New York or Chicago? Yeah, why wouldn't you be in Miami, or something like that, where you know you're not gonna freeze to death

in the winter. It just doesn't make any sense. You could just be a very outdoorsy guy. I know people are necessarily playing their homelessness. You know, like go through the checklist, but that's probably, you've probably tapped into something there. I can't imagine actually getting to the point

where I have no money left and I have no one to stay with and I have to live on the street. I feel like I'm... When you get caught, when you get caught, what's you get caught, monkey with a thumb up your ass, your friends are batting, you're pretty quick. Pretty quickly, you're out, you're out the door.

So you have a camera in your house that you can connect to with the internet. Yeah. I can't believe that you do that. Where do you ever do that? Where is it? My living room. You're living room? But you also cover your laptop camera with a sticker. Yeah. Why?

Because you don't want to do like actually have it turned on and you know, you're In their defense. So when I was working on criminal mindset, we were described about a killer that tapped into people's cameras Watched them. They went into their house and murdered them. So I'm not sure it was banned It was true. It was really true. There's a real murderer who tapped into people's cameras, watched them, mostly women, mostly. And murdered them. So, you know, there's the thing where you can just go on Google and you can search by a port which is associated with unsecured webcams and just search webcams that are broadcasting.

That's right. I looked that up. Before I moved to him, my dad. I might be closed since that existed. My dad started watching criminal minds before I moved to in and I watched a few of them with him. And there was one scene where, I guess a killer had been taking everyone's drivers licenses and then pinning them up and you were one of the drivers

I've seen that episode. I was watching it a lot because I, this shows it right actually. That's Joel, he's dead. I'm dead, I'm dead. I mean the weirdest places. I think I've only seen like five episodes of criminal minds or so.

And I think every episode I've seen, like you were in it in some capacity. It's funny because like Mandy Patakin, who's a phenomenal actor, like left at the end of season two, and then like, I guess he did an interview with him, and he, the interview was basically like, he had made a personal decision that he thought people shouldn't be watching

that sort of stuff at night, a clock at night before they go to bed. Why? Because he thought it was, it was gruesome and bad and they were always doing gruesome horrible things or whatever. Yeah. And then he moved over to, he's on homeland now. He's on homeland, but homeland I guess is not, I haven't seen homeland, but I guess

it's not as ruthless. Yeah. There's criminal minds. I don't really know. No, it's not, it's definitely not as gruesome. I haven't seen it. It's okay, it's in okay show. I don't buy into all the hype.

I watch it, I watch it, but it's like, it's in okay show. I don't I don't buy into all the hype. I watch it But it's like my life is about game thrones Breaking bad when's that back? I'm really first. I'm rewatching game with drones right now. Yeah, I am can't wait They had a big I saw the ad they would be like flying. I'm not I'm not digging the ads though Like the trailer release and the music's like weird Yeah, but it doesn't you do think it's gonna be bad season no, but I don't like the ads though. Like the trailer's really good. And the music's like weird. Yeah, but it doesn't, you don't think it's gonna be bad season.

No, but I don't like the ads at all. Do you think season two is better than one will do? Um, I've probably seen season one. I think season two is better. Like you're starting to build a lot more. Like season one, you're not attached to the character. Season one, we ended really awesomely though. You had that moment in season one that was like episode 10 or whatever.

I don't know if I should. No, yeah. We talked about having a spoiler cast. We'll do that next week or two weeks. Let's do a spoiler cast before game and throw in season three comes out. Yes. You want to talk about an upcoming podcast?

Yeah, I mean, what are you talking about the Friday thing? Friday thing, yeah. Yeah, so we're going to have, it's not necessarily a podcast in a strict sense, but we're going to have a special livestream this Friday at 10 a.m. And we're going to be sitting down and kicking off our Southwest Southwest Games experience here. So if you're available at 10 o'clock Texas time Friday morning tune in on our website and it'll be the stream will be

open actually to the public. It won't be sponsored only. So feel free to jump on in and watch. I'm super excited about what we are doing on Friday. Yeah it's gonna be really, really cool. So, we used to Emily Hagen's and I, who Emily used to work for a RACHI. She has a movie in South by Southwest. So, if you're in town for South by, Emily's got a movie.

I'm on a panel Friday at 5 p.m. What's it about? Is it about Emily's movie? No, it's about being successful on YouTube. How did it actually monetize and make money on YouTube is trapped in his have we made money on YouTube? I have made we have made money on YouTube. We're making money on YouTube right now. Joel is trapped in his jacket It's really the entire podcast now. I was just watching Joel try to zip up his coat Hey, you know, it's like we should be we should live in a reality where zip we should not have broken zippers

You should never talk while moving your mic. Yeah. I keep forgetting that Alan's over here. He's got something for us. What do you got, Alan? So this morning, Alan brought over a smoker that's more duct-caped and smoker. That thing was ridiculous.

He made a big production about it during the Monday meeting where he's like, oh, we got the smoker. And I'm turning it in. That thing was like a it was like a college refrigerator with a door hanging off of it with a fire inside. It did, well apparently we'll be the judge. Look, strange smell great. He's been smoking these ribs all day,

and they just vanished right before he went live with the podcast. Ooh, thank you. Nice and hot. You want some? All right, come here and say hello. Hello. That's Alan.

So we got some ribs here. No forks, so I got to go to K-Mastyle. Hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, We're going to reschedule. That's a lot of streams off. Luckily, shut it down. Shut it down. If you can't make it at 10 a.m. for the stream, we will post a video as soon as it's available. Did you catch what happened the other day? So one of our favorite things at Rooster Chief is when we have a community play date, and we'll say, hey, everybody, we're doing a community play date. We're going to be playing Halo 4, Griff Ball. We're going to be playing it this Thursday at 8 p.m. And what's the first, what's the, like, people respond, Gavin, and what's the thing they always respond with?

What's the you? We're playing Hale of four, we're playing Griff Paul. I don't know. Oh, you know, I thought you were one of the people that hated the suit. The one thing we always get is people, an endless list of people going, I don't have an Xbox, or, I don't have Hale of four. And you just want to reach to the internet and the internet go will clearly the message is not for you and it would go get like

fifty percent of response people saying i don't have an xbox or i don't have a lot for the people who have a good log on the response to be right there that but it was really funny because the other day gavin wrote to you we have a company wide mailing list that if you mail to a It goes to everyone in the company and you asked you asked a thing where you said I'm having a problem in final cut

I said has anyone used the new final cut it sucks. I don't know whether I don't have to use it anyone You get a thousand responses that were like I don't know. I haven't yeah, so everyone every single person the company's like no I'm used it. Sorry. No, I've never used that And it was like I think maybe like out everyone here, like maybe 70% of people replied, do you know why they did that? Because I went around and personally asked everyone to please respond to your email. That's how I spent my morning and that morning. We're getting everyone to reply to your thing and, nope, I haven't done it. We just like, because I had to reply to it and I decided not to respond.

Give me some ribs. This is really delicious, but I just realized chewing on the micro-mace is not terrible. No. No, get the meat off the plate. So the other day, I don't know if we see them in the wide shot or not. The other day, we had a bunch of employees

do you want to play? Yes, sure. A bunch of employees stay here late one night, and we all painted and got drunk. And we have... Painted? No, we painted like art paintings. So you need to have some of this?

Chair Dan's painting behind you. It's a... We all, everyone for the most part, painted Master Chief holding Cortana. You can't really see it, 12. But he drew Ristri Thannemite Adventure's Gus holding... That looks good. I said it. In Master Chief Armorinamade Adventure's Gus holding or the actual one. I said that in a Master Chief Armor.

I think that's probably my favorite drawing of the night. Well, I post a picture of the LinkedIn for the people who listen to the audio podcast. But it was good. It's fun. Do you ever use those toilet seat covers in airports? Yeah. The one the payphones that give you.

Sometimes? Never. The one in O'Hare, the airports, or the bathrooms in O'Hare, have it on there all the time. You ever notice that? Like, oh, yeah. There's this covered in the plastic.

There's like some sort of creepy board looking mechanism. Like, it's like a condom. It's got like plastic. Yeah, you see that? You look at it and you're like, what an engineering marvel is going on. It's got like a spring and like, coil.

As soon as you stand up, it like rotates and like a new thing of plastic comes out on it. And it's like, I'm not sure if that's grosser. This is why you want cameras in public. Right here, this discussion. I mean, we're going to get a board gun. We're going to get in the fuck, it's going on with those things.

Every time I've used one of the manual ones where you have the rim of the seat, but you also have that bit that hangs down in the water. Yeah. Because then when you flush, it sucks the seat in, you know, to do it. But every toilet now has those automatic flushes where it senses the fact that no one's sat there anymore.

So the same thing happens to me every time I try and use one, I put the thing down, I'm like, I'm ready and I've ripped the thing so the thing is sat there in the wall and then I turn around and as I go to sit down, it detects I've crouched down, flushes the thing and then as I sit, it all goes down the toilet and I end up sitting on the nasty seat The toilet never in the history of the world is anything been transmitted through the butt cheek No one's ever caught up like the burglars is via butt cheek. You know what I find it helps is it I just go in the sink Yeah, I stung. You know, it's cleanly, no one's used it in that manner before. So you know, it's relatively clean, soap right there.

No problem. No problem. You get some looks, but thank God there's a scammer there. That's right. So I didn't use to buy into using those seat covers, but then I don't know, something happened recently where now I'm like, I don't want my bare ass touching. Will you basically be getting bad ass to us

with another thing? Yeah, I think that's why I started thinking. Yeah place is getting bad ass to us, but then with another thing. Yeah, I think that's why I started thinking. Yeah, it's really weird when you sit down. It's like, I guess it's maybe warm. It's like, oh, someone's just sat here. And it's just like my... Yeah, it's just certain things unlike you don't need to think about.

Yeah, absolutely not. No, I mean, those are good ribs. Those are really good. I'm gonna drink a beer now. Yeah, especially when the seats warm. That's when you really think about it. Okay. So this is from a Bree Brower on Twitter.

I think I'm saying your last name right. Never read that lab. Talking about the motorized hygienic seats that are controversial new general contractor installed recently at O'Hare Airport are not very hygienic after all. As the plastic wrapping rotates overseas, it drags up liquid from the rim of the toilet bowls and leaves drops of those liquids on top of the seat.

That's what I was thinking, the whole fucking time. I was like, the engineering behind this is faulty, it's not working, and we paid for this. There is one of the worst thumbnails for the video on that stomach outside. Look at that. Oh, that's a dirty toilet. There you go, Gavin. It looks a lot like this.

It does. It's bright smells better though. I bet it does. You may hear my god damn cat and you're doing this. Yeah, for one day, one day of stink versus, you know, six months of piss everywhere. You're full of shit, Sirola. No, your cat was full of shit and you left it everywhere. I wonder why everyone? This podcast is brought to you by audible.com. The Internet's leading provider of audiobooks of more than 100,000 downloadable titles across all types of literature and featuring audio versions of many New York Times best sellers.

Far listener audible is offering a free audiobook to give you a chance to try out their service. One audiobook to consider is Game of Thrones. For free audiobook of your choice, go to audiblepodcast.com slash rooster teeth. That's audiblepodcast.com slash rooster teeth. So in anticipation of season three of Game of Thrones, I finally bought the books on audible. Somebody was asking. And I'm going to listen to them in order to get caught up. What, are you, is that the same thing?

I mean, are you doing the same, I mean, if you like... Listen, verse 3 reading? Yeah, you're listening. You're listening. It's another adaptation of it, so. It's you're still getting the same? I mean, if you like listen versus reading. Yeah, you're listening. We're listening. It's another adaptation of it So it's you're still getting the same information. I listen. It's not I mean, it's an unabridged version What the first book I ever downloaded off Audible and I still have it is world-lore Z and we listen to it

Actually, I tried to drive from Los Angeles to San Francisco up the PCH, which goes all the way up We did a Google Maps said that trip was gonna be seven hours. After driving for five hours, we were one hour into the trip. Yeah. What happened? Yeah, that's the thing about the PCH. And the other thing about the PCH is like for the first hour or two, you're like, this is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen in my entire life. And in about a fourth hour, you're like, I have fucking,

how the fuck do I get off this fucking thing? I mean, it's just like one truck, that's it it you're all watching the back of a truck for the next eight hours we're in Pizmo Beach that's where we get what so you were moving slower than the thing we really saw them what thing well you said it took seven hours but then an hour in the five hours in the Google and hour in the Google calculation was way the fuck off might have been off the the only time we've ever been on the ch please. Gavin Bernie, please kiss. What does that mean? I went from Santa Monica to Malibu. That's the first I've ever driven on the PCH.

How long is the PCH? It goes up pretty much all of California, doesn't it? No, it goes all the way up to West California. It goes all the way up to West California. Yeah, wow. Yeah. That should be, if you lose a bit, you've got to take that thing. Did you hear, I'm always suspicious this time of year,

because I guess it's kind of close to April 4th, but there's this video from MIT where they film a person and then they use some weird algorithm to detect the difference in color in one pixel on someone's face. And they can actually amplify this by about a hundred times to the point where someone's face is flashing and you're seeing their pulse Through their skin What why do we need that? Yeah, because it's a way to monitor babies. Oh, we're gonna detect live people No, no, it's a way to monitor a baby's pulse when you when you see a crowd of people you want to know who's alive I'm with you. I'm with you stay with a guy. It's still stupid

Very important technology. I'm with you. I'm with you. Stay with the camera. It's still stupid. Somehow this is going to boil. This is going to boil down the gav figuring out a way that like chicks are attracted to him. Well, that's what we're flashing more. That really is the point. That was a society where we need cameras and machines to tell us when our babies are alive. We can't even bother to tell you.

It's how you check out the baby alive. I remember when it was on the podcast that one time and he said like his friend who was studying to be an EMT had like the five signs of death. Like the cafeteria all burnt up. Blasting. No, I remember. If the flashing stops after 10 minutes, checkpoint is ready. So yeah, wait, if we're at that point

where we have to like simplify the signs of death like that, maybe we do need a machine to monitor whether or not a baby's alive. Where did you hear that? Oh, you know it's fun to watch is on Twitter is slash dot man. God. They've got just crazy Crazy shit. It's just like every it's just like scientists figure out way to Graphed eyeball to Ted Polpinas, so Gavin is looking at something on Google now eventually I'll try and find the right one. Watching Gavin use Google, is it Paul Maria? You're like one of those guys.

So that is that guy's pulse right there. And you can see that from very subtle color changes in his skin. Well, that's subtle. And it also amplifies large, very tiny movements that you can't use. This SDI adapter is fucked up. You need to reboot it for the SDI adapters fucked up, you need to reboot it. The SDI adapter by the laptop over there. That's fucking creepy, Gav.

Yeah, it's weird, right? But it's a way of, like, they're going to use this to detect lies even more effectively than what was the detector's done work. Well, that will work. Yeah, but the people get the chance. The people get the chance. Yeah, pulsas is like, how do you detect that? You're supposed to go up for a number of reasons.

It's not just for pulses, it's for any subtle movement. It is amplified. And how does that benefit? Like, how can you tell? Yes, give us an example. Like, how would you use this amazing technology that you tell the baby is alive? What would you do with that?

What do you mean? What would you do with this technology? How would you use it? I pointed at girls as I talked to them. You sure enough you nailed it. Yeah, we can ask the question. And I would like get in a row like this is what you could do. You could get a row of girls go ahead and you could see which one likes you the most. How? I'll tell you what. They do different body stuff when they like do different bodies.

What happens? Like when they get near you, their pulse goes up. I can't point it find a huge electric magnet That they're their pulse goes up when you see it go in person. Let's go. Okay. You see a guy in person who you like Yeah, she is top. So what do you do? Your body is doing something a bit different than normal in it. Let me ask you Okay, so what you do so what are you comfortable if someone was like observing your pulsing? Yeah, go for it So I'm gonna you try and finish your thought finish your thought So there's a girl in public and you see her and you think she likes you so you do what?

Do a video now you point a giant fucking mechanism at her Here's a crazy fucking notion of ask her out ask ask You get a fucking big machine. You roll it up. You throw it in a printout. This might give you cancer. It's not a machine. It's just video. It's not a machine.

No, it's a software algorithm. Get downloaded. How is it possible? How is it possible? You can't talk to a girl, but you're totally videoing her. And then putting her through post-production. Please give her a hard time.

But I understand because Guys don't want to talk to girls. They'd rather They'd rather put something scientific and point that at them I'm glad This is my love girl. I kind of won't hurt at all. You won't feel anything I kind of want to just to take advantage of such new technology people haven't found people haven't found out about this yet so I've still got the advantage. You'll need this technology. You'll be like I try my push. I just swear you're on the bar. Well just show you're gonna have like a picture of your

deck on your phone. Anyway, my point is it's so weird to me that you can see someone's pulse through their face. I can't tell whether this is a real video, whether it's bullshit. I believe you can see. It does look kind of, I mean, you know. Wouldn't it just pick up different, like, video noise that's in cameras when they just see it? I don't know. I didn't invent the fucking thing.

You've seen the video. I haven't seen shit. You just showed me like 10 seconds of it. Alright, let's everybody just calm down. We're just talking about the flashing people. Yeah, never watched that infuriating. Surveys just calm down. I live in video, the spare change. Uh, loose change. Loose change. That would do this. Yeah. And like, well, they talk about the planes like right before the plane to the building. Oh, yeah, I know exactly where you're going with this. I don't understand. Interlacing. Interlacing. Oh yeah. Or yeah. Like the thermite in the building. Yeah. yeah. Or, yeah. Or, yeah.

Or, yeah. Or, yeah. Or, yeah. Or, yeah. Or, yeah. Or, yeah. Or, yeah. Or, yeah.

Or, yeah. Or, yeah. Or, yeah. Or, yeah. Or, yeah. Or, yeah. Or, yeah. Or, yeah.

Or, yeah. Or, yeah. Or, yeah. Or, yeah. Or, yeah. Or, yeah. Or, yeah. Or, yeah. Or, yeah. Or, yeah. Or, yeah. Or, yeah. Or, yeah. Or, yeah. Or, yeah. Or, yeah. Or, yeah. Or, yeah. Or, yeah. Or, yeah. Or, yeah. Or, yeah. Or, yeah. Or, yeah. Or, yeah. Or, yeah. Or, yeah. Or, yeah. Or, yeah. Or, yeah. Or, yeah. Or, yeah. Or, yeah. Or, yeah. Or, yeah. Or, yeah. Or, yeah. Or, yeah. Or, yeah. Or, yeah. Or, yeah. Or, yeah. Or, yeah. Or, yeah. Or, yeah. Or, yeah. Or, yeah. Or, yeah. Or, yeah. Or, yeah. Or, yeah. Or, yeah. Or, yeah, but what it it was it was after the plane it was as the tower collapses You see an explosion come out. We're the people in the plane flashing What do you think that maybe there's a propane tank or natural gas line or something down? I mean, no, I see I mean what it could have been a disaster. I mean, what are you saying? I mean? I'm saying I you know you know you know you could have been a detonation. I feel I would have been something a lot more plausible Let's go with the detonation right

Well, I filmed a lot of buildings get demolished. They always go down exactly like those towers did. But then there's this other video where they showed a ton of other buildings, skyscrapers that were on fire for like 24 hours and they still stay out. They're just black at the top. They're not fire-fucking out. Also, I'm sure there's a difference between just general fire and an explosion. and also like the temperature of the type of explosion Yeah, I mean this job is really hot. Listen, I want to talk about something that's important. We've also avoided this This is the decades worth of podcasting. I think we get I know I want to talk about something I want to talk about something important that I found in Vegas But you guys probably already know know about it

Do we have a who's on the does this do we control this? Yeah, sure, it's gonna be I'm already drunk Hey, okay, all right. This is this is important. This is it's gonna run the computer. This should be even more fine All right, here we go. We should cut to the screen just to see what he's talking. All right Well, I want to go to the I can't even see the We're doing Google all right, you're in different all right, so I'm gonna point a laser at Joel see I'm on the right screen. There. There's the same screen. Oh, yeah, thank God. We all work at a fucking internet company You hit I can see what's going on Jesus Scotty we need more power. What'd you look? Top 10 creamy

10 creaming Top 10 creaming What are you looking at? Okay, top 10 I can't I can't see the screen It's just good vision Creaming it's almost like a top 10 screaming ghost. Oh, I know this phone if you haven't seen this This is the greatest fucking thing ever are you gonna play the uh, I don't know should I play it? You're gonna play Taylor's right? Well, there's ten there's ten great videos

Ray will be happy this one's two little one direction so that is this one's not good Okay, all right. This is really fast. What is this by the way? I'm a material is how every showing someone on an internet video how it goes is like Oh, it's gonna be great. it's gonna great. Oh my god Everybody look over here. I'm so embarrassed. This video's so long. Here we go Some nails awesome. I bought a Taylor Swift song just because of the fucking. Yeah, I mean if they sold these songs on iTunes Just give it up. It's over Well, this is all right.

All right, so you think it made you buy a Taylor Swift song? Do you think it's like the ultimate viral marketing campaign? It could be, that goat was amazing. They go, they put, look up on the internet, look up Taylor Swift. I knew you were trouble with a goat. It is probably one of the funniest videos you'll ever see. Why is it playing? Why are we so bad at the God name? I'm not bad. I'm fixing it here. Taylor Swift. Go. That's it. That's it. The one, the third one down. See, way, everyone is just trying to talk to the word original in all of our videos now.

Is it? So this is me on the tram in Vegas playing this on my iPhone around all these drunk people and like it was great. Everyone in the control room bust out laughing. Oh my god, that's so great. Also that's a sheep, that's how to go. It is a sheep. It shut up. Oh my god. Is it a sheep? That's how to go. It is a sheep. It shut up. Oh my god.

It's a sheep. It's a sheep. That's how to go. What is a sheep and a goat? There's no difference. Okay. Can you tell the difference between a sheep and a goat by his head? Can you tell by the body the thing I fucking wool on it? What is the difference between a sheep and a goat? What is the difference? Sheep have wool, goats don't.

But what's the closest animal that we keep to milk? What? They both have milk, fucking retard. You don't. But what's that close to the end of the week? Go to milk. What? They both have milk, fucking retard. They don't drink sheet milk, do you? You can. Good. You can milk anything. They go anything with nipples.

All right. Since we just looked up something on Google for 30 minutes and saw Joel's pulse, I'm going to play a game. This game, I want to play. Brain, is there a graphic for this? No, I don't think we have a graphic for it. All right, this is a game that I made up. One of my favorite things that we do on the podcast is when we search for something

and how Google auto completes it. But then my other favorite thing is when Gavin comes up with a ridiculously stupid question. So Gus Joel, you guys are going to play a game right now. It's called Gavin or Google. And here's what I did. I took three words and I gave them to Gavin and he had to play a game right now. It's called Gavin or Google. And here's what I did. I took three words and I gave them to Gavin. And he had to come up with a question. And then I typed the same three words into Google

and got the most ridiculous auto complete. So you've already done this first part with that? Already do with Gavin. Okay. Already did it. So this is Gavin or Google. And you're going to figure this out. Okay, the first one is, what happens if?

OK, that's the phrase that I gave to Gavin in the Google. OK, you had to tell me which one is which. What happens if you accidentally eat all the marijuana? I already got this. And what happens if you breathe too much? OK. Which one is Google and which one is Gavin? The weed one is Google.

The breathing one is Gavin. I'm going to agree with that. You are correct. Yeah. This is too easy. No, that's the first one. This next one is Can You See? Can You See? Is this why you or the letter U? It's why you. Okay. Can you see? And you see with your eyes. The first one is. No, you is no right it's important to do the check now what's going on?

Can you see stars while you're in space? And the other one is simply Can you see oxygen? What is what is now? Why did you say one with the slight English accent? My my accent's bad I say I'm all with the slight I don't know what they started in space is Gavin and oxygen is Google Joel I think the reverse, but I think the reverse okay Joel is correct. Can you see oxygen is Gavin? Why the fuck would you ask that is that a serious question?

So here is here's the bonus rounds that you're out you actually know already know the answer of this. And this one is how many buttons got that how many buttons. I mean, guess the person was Gavin. One of his how many buttons do you have to put this has done do the toilet scene. How many buttons do you have to button? They're bursting off fucking red. How many buttons do you have to button on a two button? I don't know what you're saying. How many buttons do you have to button on a two button? How many buttons do you have to button on a two button? Then the other one is how many buttons does it take to launch the space? What's this? And the other one is how many buttons does it take to launch the space Gavin in which one is cool. All right. This is a little bit loaded for me because there was some cross talk going on before The podcast so I'm not sure this has been dirty the little bit

All right, I want you to repeat I want you to be button to the end the button on a two-butt How many buttons do you have to button on a two-butt? Shoot. How many buttons does it take to watch the page? All right, I'm going to go space shuttle. Jesus Christ. I'm going to go space shuttle gav. Other one, Google. All right.

Our champion, Mr. Jolheim, is three for three. Everybody applause. Don't be a trophy next week, right? Oh my god. Please send me queries, three or three or four or queries to start search with Joe you did it every week please We should definitely mix it up have like some use as the letter you instead of why are you and things like that as well

That's a valid question No, it's a show up in auto A million people that are that dumb. A million people that are doing the first thing we ever discovered with this. You discovered something and it was like you entered something. Oh, it was like, oh, pregnancy stuff. Yeah, what was the phrase? It was like, can you, and then like, get pregnant this, get pregnant.

I was like, I just typed can you? So, if he was to type how many turns, would it come up with how many turns and a 3.10? Probably. She's good. That would be. Come on with a better question. No, because the 3.0 turns a little too complex for someone. Like someone who's dumb and looking for something online isn't going to know what a 3.0 turn is.

Why would not I know what a turn is? Is that an uncommon thing? I don't think it's a common turn. Can you give me like something I can wipe my eyes and go in there. Can you look up how do you use Google? What is the website for Google? How do you use Google? I'm going to do this all day. Do you remember like some of those old shitty search engines back like when the internet was first getting off the ground before Google existed? Like,

did you ever use any of those? Because my favorite I would think about was Web crawler. And their logo used to be a little spider, a little cartoon spider on a surfboard. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Geez, that's crazy. Something she can attach to that. Oh, thank you. I'm sure someone has. They're like Web crawler or what was it like? Like O's, Excite, Altavista.

Yeah. Hi, geez. Dog pile. What was the one where you could like, it would give you random, like, it would give money to someone every day? Oh, right. I forgot about that one. Yeah.

Well, they would give you a bonus prize by using that such. Yeah, like they would pick, they give away like a lot of money to one person every day. Oh, right, forgot about that. Yeah, they would give you a bonus prize by using the search and pick. Yeah, like they would pick, they give away like a lot of money to one person every day. Do you remember the million dollar website? Yeah, I remember that. You could buy one pixel. Yeah, it was a guy who had a website that was like a million pixels total, like, in area.

And he would sell each of the pixels for a dollar. And you could buy blocks to do like a 40 by 40 banner. Yeah, that's, you had to buy a 10 now. You had to buy a 10 by 10. Did it? What did it look like? It looked like a mess. It still up. Like what are the things with heat guarantee that the page would be? I'll find it. I can just grab a million dollar home page. The guarantee that the page would be at it looks like I'll buy you to that. I'll look it up on Wikipedia.

By the way, creepily enough when I look at how many turns in Google, how many turns in a, and I said say three point turn it. Two of the top four searches were how many turns in a and I said say three point turn it to the top four searches were how many turns in a new so a lot of people are we want your job one time million dollar homepage that's that is exactly what I would think that would look like a guy made a million if somebody said hey I'll give you dollar free that's that's exact

I'm the world I have structured it is actually clickable through yeah each one of those is a link oh really and you can't even one pixel in there They were all clickable through. Yeah, each one of those is a link. Oh, really? And he guaranteed that you would pick someone there. He guaranteed at least 10 years that you would be on line. Wow. That is a good idea, because I've no idea what we're going to do.

Here's crazy. What year did the million dollar homepage come out? I think that was 98. It was 2005. No. Wow. No. The million dollar homepage is a website

conceived in 2005. I think this is Alex Tew to a student from Wilshire England Wiltshire England to raise money for his university education the home page consistent of a million pixels arranged 1000 by 1000 The image base links on it were sold for US one dollar per pixel in 10 by 10 blocks. Let me ask this Why didn't you do it in pounds? I don't know million pound home page? That sounds fucking good. It dollars Many pound hound page with five. We're trying to take it by a porn couple of days.

Million pounds. Did he graduate? What's that? No, because he has a million bucks. Why would you go to university at that point, right? Joel? What was the first thing you knew if you got a million bucks? Yeah, exactly. You paid that some stuff. You wouldn't fucking waste $50,000 a day on the goddamn piece of paper. Vegas, right? Vegas. I don't know what's fucking fun. I've been fucking, this guy fucking makes a million bucks fucking I can't even come to terms with humanity. Sometimes I hear stories like this.

We're good for him. Yeah, good idea. I guess a lot of people try to do it afterwards. Yeah, everybody tried to like glom on. See what? Yeah, you have to be first to market. Where'd you stay when you were Vegas? Mainly Bay. Oh, cool. That's a good place to stay. Where'd you stay when you were Vegas? Mainly Bay.

Oh, cool. That's a good place to stay. Yeah. A little bit off the strip. So you got to do a little bit of traveling. Do you share a room with Jack? No. No?

No. Why would I share a room with Jack? No, there's a point at which you don't share hotels or rooms anymore. No, yeah. I mean, we got to the point where we were sending so many people to Roushichita Vent sometimes that I figured out like when we went to some award shows in Vegas last year, I figured out these two went with us that instead of spending $400 a night for

a hotel to go to the awards, which are at the same time the CES and CES like booked up every hotel and everything went through the roof which for a box of night we're sending like seven people so the math on that is ridiculously high for what is the cost to send people the awards ceremony so that I'll do this instead I went online I rented a house I rented this massive house and Brandon loved it I remember it was like a real-world house that we rented in Vegas sounds terrible right but it was like way cheaper because it was like it real-world house that we rented in Vegas. Sounds terrible. Right, but it was like way cheaper, because it was like, it's gonna sound ridiculous still,

but it was only like 900 bucks a night. But you have no privacy. Okay, so everyone has their own room. They're all starting to come together. Yeah, we're burning as like, as privacy issues, but now he's renting houses for everyone to be in the house together. What's going on?

Neither one of these two stayed there. They just stay in the house. They just went and rented their own rooms. Did you go to the house? No, why? Thank you. I didn't hear you. No, no, it's the greatest fucking thing ever. If I'm one of these guys, it's the greatest fucking thing ever. Hey, I mean, when I was 20, it's a bad ass. When I was 20, I've been happy to just have a fucking root. The R.E. is a badass hotel. It'd be great, but, you know, now I want to, you know, not, I don't want to be around.

We're going to do that in more, what you're saying. Well, I don't know. It's a bad idea. Where's the wild opener? I think it's down here. I'm getting sober. Okay, stop it. I'm panicking. I'm freaking out. Also the other thing is the final night. I guess I don't be away from a casino. Yeah. I can turn me. It's having to call and wait for a cab and get in the cab and go. It's like it's an ordeal. Yeah, it's a bear. Yeah, travel is a thing. Especially when you're on a trip with limited time, you know, I don't just spend my time. It's like I want to be at the craft table right now. Yeah

So lifetime do you think you're up or down in Vegas? Oh, I know you do know well, okay? This is a long story. Yeah, I have a spreadsheet of every single spreadsheet you do I have a spreadsheet that has it has financial stuff and gambling stuff. I have everything total I've also noticed that your desktop background is related to gambling too. Yeah, I'm Is it a black check card? Yeah, it's a black check card. You can you can take those to the table Yeah, you can take them to the table. They're totally fine with it. Yep. Yep. If you don't you like I would recommend if you've never been to Vegas before What nobody you want to gamble?

Just take a go like to any gift shop buy a black check card It has a little grid on when to bet and why not to bet just put on the table where you can ask the dealer or you can ask the dealer and everybody to blackjack table is a goddamn motherfucking expert who knows fucking everything they don't know they don't tell you if the count fucking hate it that that chart changes based on what the count of the deck is absolutely but no one knows that you got a count like they say never split tens never split tens with the decks of the plus five fucking split tens I guess a five it depends, but it's like a rule a real. Okay. You just said you just said a plus

Can we talk about this because you just said a plus five? Yeah, you just count like you just count for every face card or ace Yeah, you count negative one. This is not so bullshake Joel can count cards I have to think of bend a Vegas for a hell of Joel can count cards. I have no one to give to you. Ben de Vegas to a jail. I'll count you three for five. I have watched them do this. It's a plus.

It's a plus. It's a plus. It's a plus. It's a plus. It's a plus. It's a plus. It's a plus. It's a plus.

It's a plus. It's a plus. It's a plus. It's a plus. It's a plus. It's a plus. It's a plus. It's a plus. It's a plus. It's a plus. It have a chat. No. I'm not the only one who does this. I was sitting next to a guy who was counting, and you could tell because you're like this.

And we're like this. Dick was at negative 18, and he got up and left, and I was suspecting he was counting. And it's like, I use that opportunity where it's like, well, it's negative 18. Good time to go to the bathroom. So I'm going to go to the bathroom. So I'm walking over to the bathroom,

and he comes up to me, he's like, he has a good thing that you left. That dick was really negative. And it's like, and then comes up to me He's like, that's a good thing that you left that that was really you know negative and it's like and then he walked off It's like oh, you know people do it. Yeah, you know people do it But no, I've I have witnessed this firsthand and Joel is excellent at it But I've made a discovery That's been painful discovery you can't be at a table with a bunch of people because if you're a table before the people They take your cars. I was it. I was a, oh, here's the, take your car, shit.

I was at a, I was at a, I was at a table where I was at a plus 44, which is astronomically high, astronomically high. I bet I was laying into it, laying into it. It wasn't working. Everyone around me was getting black checks and it wasn't working for me. And I, I had $5,000. And I spent $5,000 and I spent $5,000 in two minutes. Totally crap.

Because it was just like, boof, boof, I was playing like $500 hands. Blackjack, blackjack, blackjack. It's like I'm at a 12 and I'm like, all right, you know, a $1,000 hand. I just kept laying in it, laying it, it didn't work. And I ran out of money. And the decks had like a plus 44

and I have to leave the table. Because you run out. I've run out of money and it's like I'm going to walk away from this table and all of these assholes who don't know anything, they're all going to win fucking money. And so I go to the fucking, I'm the asshole in the bank line. I'm the asshole at the cashier line with my credit card going, I need money, I'm my credit card right now, I need it right now. And they took forever and sure enough I'm saying line and one of the ladies who's sitting at the table walks up behind me

And I'm like let me guess you want lots of money She's like you have to you left. We all just get one of money. It's like good God. I'd have been living So that's that no machine. That's right there where you can just put your condom it just jizzes out chips Does that know exist? What's that? You keep saying that they should make it so like every table there's a machine when you just swipe your credit card and get money I agree. Get just a marker. They would probably like, just get a marker.

Yeah, I don't know how that works. Maybe I should. There's a form. Just ask them for the form. Just transfer your wire money from here. Well, the other thing is they're not, if the casino knows that you're, like I don't get like the players card,

certainly a players card card, no, because I don't want them to know what's been going on with me. I don't want them to keep count of what I've done. They keep count of everything that you do. If you're at a table and you win a bunch of money, they know. You come back and you keep winning money, they know. And so it's like, I don't want to keep track of me. So I want to like not, I'm going to keep that distance.

You know what I mean? Because if they find out you're doing it, you know, we don't want your business. We got booted. We got booted from Mr. and Mr. and you know, Jollin, I did. And it actually worked really well as a team. And it's too bad J I'd never want to go anywhere with me anymore because what I do is I chat with the dealer and I slow the dealer way

down. Yeah, and then Joel does say anything. I'm just sitting there and just chewing the fat with the dealer. It's helpful to have somebody engaging so they don't talk about it. Does the dealer know, actually, everyone must do this. The dealer doesn't care if you win or not. They actually like when you win because you tip because you tip. They don't give a shit. They have very set rules. They have to hit on a certain number. They actually like when you win because you tip because you don't care.

They don't give a shit. They have very set rules. They have to hit on a certain number. They have to stand on a certain number. It's not like the, you know, it's tied to their paycheck. They don't care. No. Yeah. They don't get commission on losses or anything like that.

In fact, they won't get tipped like if, if, and they get harassed by the players. Like, they switch dealers like whatever, 15 minutes. Something like that. Yeah. And it's always when they switch a dealer everybody starts fucking losing and there was like I'm there again. I was sitting with Bernie I think it's the first time I went to a video Hawaiian dude. We were in New York, New York We have it a great time playing black. I think it was just the two of us in there You know, but we're both winning winning Bernie was way up dealer switch

Bernie did not win another hand when your dealer came Had all of his money just left and Bernie stood up and just went to the bathroom and he texted me, he said, I'm going to burn this fucking police down. I said I'm lighting a fire in the bathroom. You know that's the first time I ever did that? I make that joke all the time about lighting a fire in the bathroom. I say that all the time now. Because it's like, don't want cameras.

What? This is why you don't want cameras. Just get the paper dial to the spent. And I'll make that. And I'm just fucking light it and run. But the deal is must hear the same like four conversations over and over and over and over again. You know, we're just, like, people comically blaming the dealer.

And it's like, after a while, after hearing that 400 times, you know, it's like, they don't want a fucking having anymore. Do you remember that dealer's name? Was it high? It was J. J. That's what it was.

He was from Hawaii, you know, it was a fool from Hawaii. I know he's from Hawaii. I don't like Hawaii now, because that, yeah, no, but it happens all the time. But when I was with Joel, he know, let's see from Hawaii. I know he's from Hawaii. I like I don't like Hawaii now because that Yeah, no, but it happens on time But when I was with Joel He was winning a ton of money and the other thing too is that Joel's all of us and Joel's bets will change as he He'll explain the counting system. We can just watch the movie 21

I'm sure it's on Netflix and they explain the counting system in there But all of them Joel will just start betting insane amount of money like I just hit their bet my normal bet every time I don't double my bet or anything I just bet the same amount all the time yeah all the jolt's like like reaches pocket He's betting all his money because the counts get up there and this like like super short five foot tall Italian guy in a suit the pit bosses came over and Joel was on the very end of the table And they get he sat on the inside of the pit the the boss and he just sat there and stared at Joel like this And would Joel went like four or five hands more and then Joel just goes uh He sat on the inside of the pit, the boss, and he just sat there and stared at Joel like this.

And when Joel went like four or five hands more, and then Joel just goes, I think I'm going to cash out. I think I'm going to cash out. And as soon as he did, the boss goes, can I say to them, because he knows that okay? He goes, he goes, thank you for coming to the MGM. Please don't return. And we were like, out the door, and we were gone. So I think it was more like, I mean, I think I'm going to take my things.

He looks at me and goes, good good idea. Yeah, wow. Yeah, that's terrifying. I'm scared of this and every movie is like We're taking the back room beat you up And it's like you know what I'm old enough to know you're not gonna take me to the back room beat me up But I fucking hope they take me to the back room beat me up because it's like I want to be the million dollar pixel guy I want a million dollar a lot. I they took me the mgm and beat me up. Because it's like, I want to be the million dollar pixel guy. I don't want the million dollar lawsuit. I, they took me to the MGM and beat me up. I want a million dollars. So no one's going to take it back and beat you up.

Do they beat anyone up? If you like to check. I mean, they were like the 60s or whatever, and the mafia control the casino is. All right, but now I think Disney controls everything. So we're going to take it in the back and Mickey's going to beat the crap out of you. This sounds pretty entertaining.

Who owns MGM now? There's like three companies, right? There's three companies out in everything, yeah, on the stretch. There's like, what I mean, like MGM, the entity, because MGM, the movie studio went bankrupt, right? And weren't they... Metro Goldwood mayor? Yeah, I weren't they purchased by someone else. Sony owned Metro Goldwood mayor.

And I don't know if I don't remember... Because like that delayed skyfall. Did it? Yeah, because it was supposed to be a bankrupt earlier? Yeah, then MGM went bankrupt before they could start production on it and it delayed The really so that movie about like a year. Geez. I know I'm trying to look up who owns MGM like it who owns the moon You could have saved that one steve and fucking Google You could have saved that one. Steve would fucking Google. I don't know what it's like.

You know, what if we found out the Gavin is Google? Like, and like, it's like, I thought you were gonna say, what if Gavin and the Moon? You never know. Who owns MGM? Who owns MGM? Commonly known as MGM,

also known as Metragone Player. Material, it says it's the name of the company. It might be one of the things where people buy it and then use the name still because it is so well known. So would you, I assume you don't wanna say how much is the most you've ever won in one go? The trip that he was on, that started with $300,

I turned $300 into $5,000. And that's what I first started applying it. I'm like, there might be something to this, you know, but. This is actually a great story. I sat there over the course late and he did that like in a short amount of time. I sat there in like three hours and watched him win that watch that he's wearing on his hand. He went and got that watch. Yeah, yeah, although after the trip before this, I may have to turn the watch back in.

Yeah, really? But other people take in my blackjacks at the plus 44 table. It doesn't matter. It's still random. No, you're right. You could be doing everything right and you could still not work. No, but what you're talking about is that you're statistically saying, I mean the longer you draw the line out, the more the odds are it's going to work. It's the same reason why the casinos generally win.

They had that 51. You need a 51% advantage of drawing it long enough you're going to win. If you reverse it, you just need to 51% advantage. Yeah. Oh, drawing it long enough you're gonna win. If you reverse it, you just need to draw it out long enough. See, I've never gambled anything, but I kind of want, if I have a gamble for the first time, I kind of want it to be all my money. I want it to put like, I just want to take all my money and put it on red.

And then they spend the ball. Let's do this. Let's make an arki life. Take all of your money and bet it. Well, what if it doubles? Here's the thing. What if it doubles? Here's the problem with this.

OK, you lose sucks balls. All right. You win. And that was going to be the same. You said you didn't know the rules. You didn't know what the possible upstart could be. What does that mean when people say they're playing on the rule? It's dumb.

Yeah, you can put it on red level. It's a double or nothing, basically. And why is that the other one? The other one. That's the house advantage. Right. The green numbers. Oh, right.

There's two green numbers on there. There's red, there's black, and there's green. So if you put it on black, you get like a 49% chance. You put it on red, you get a 49% chance. If you lose, you're fucked. Yeah. If you win, then you get some sort of natural high. Yeah.

When you get the best moment of your fucking life. And I like it. And I just lay over. Yes, yes. And then you'll go away. And you'll be like, I remember the best moment of natural high. You get the best moment of your fucking life. And I like it. Yes, yes, and then you'll go away. And you'll be like, I remember the best moment of my life. It was when I put all my money on red. You would chase that. I'm gonna go do that again. It will never stop.

Yeah, you will lose your life time. It'll stop once you lose it all. Yeah, but this is the way I think it is. It will stop once you lose it all, but. That was one time why I didn't have any money. But you know, you make money, you have a job in that. Please. Go ahead. So, might as well do it.

Yes, Gavin. Yes. Also, we're not alive at one point, so maybe you just put a gun to your head. Don't trick us, you've happened there too. Yeah, that's where you're going. I can't become alive from a gunshot, can I? What? You can become alive in another

reality. Yeah, I mean if you believe in God, but in that moment you would be really alive. I think we can say there's only a downside. There's no positive. I don't want to get too much further in this Vegas session by the way. So you just recently went to Vegas as well and you brought with you Barbara. Yeah. Who Barbara was going to Vegas for the first time and you lost Barbara in a bet Yeah, we're gonna miss you so Barbara was a a female and be in Vegas for the first time I almost gave her all my money until I'm better because that is like a Recipe for winning. Yeah, it's like it's like I don't know anything. What's going on?

It's like what what are these nice? $10,000 you know, I I mean, how did you do? She was up big time for a while. And then I left, like, one night I was tired. I went back to go to sleep and I saw her the next morning. She's like, yeah, I lost all that. Yeah. Maybe you had a good luck.

I was. You crossed over the, you crossed over the 24 hour period and you were no longer a newcomer. I have a question about bubbles. Okay. So the question? No. Like physical science bubbles. A physical science bubble.

So you're under water, right? Yeah, okay, right now. I'm applying blood. Ready? You're under water. You breathe out. Go ahead. And bubbles come out.

Mm-hmm. There's oxygen in the bubble, right? There's some. There's some. Yeah. Some carbon dioxide and oxygen. One nitrogen. Sure. And you're right. There's some in answer your question. There's some. So that means you don't use all your oxygen when you breathe it. That's correct. How much do you use? You use a lot of it. I don't know. I don't know the percentage. So if I breathe, if I'm under water and I breathe into a bucket,

that'll push the water around. That we air in the bucket, right? If there's enough pressure, yes. You still have to force the water level down. Yeah, but I'm breathing air in it. Also, there has to be enough pressure. Where does the pressure come from? From inside you, the oxygen in your lungs. There's not enough pressure, what does the bubble do?

It goes up in the bucket, you're right. It displaces the water. Yeah, so I can go in the bucket. But if you're waiting for the water, you can compress the air, but go ahead. If goes up in the bucket? You're right. It displaces the water. Yeah Yeah, so I can go in the bucket if you're waiting for a water you can compress the air But go ahead if I'm in the bucket then if I can breathe that again in the bucket. Yes No, let it finish all right So you say you can breathe underwater for an in-term amount of time indefinitely as long as you have a bucket I'm saying you were trying to murder Gavin you weren't drowned as quick if you have a bucket You just keep saying, you were trying to murder Gavin. You weren't drowned as quick if you have a bucket. You just keep breathing in your bucket, ain't you?

You can only reuse that oxygen another two breaths maybe. So, so off to the third breath. You keep breathing. You are breathing, but you're not getting oxygen. You're still suffocating. It is possible that the mixture of oxygen in the air, that we breathe is what our body can pull oxygen out of. And that as soon as you lower the amount of oxygen in the air that we breathe is what our body can pull oxygen out of and that is as soon as you lower

The amount of oxygen in the air that you cannot survive because your body is not efficient enough to pull the oxygen out of that low level of an Oxygen so would you still be blood and bubbles, but that wouldn't be any oxygen You're still bubbles are air bubbles are just gas. Yeah, that's it a bubble Yeah, you next time you're making out with the girl take a deep breath Inhale it and have her exhale inhale it into her then have her exhale it back into you and breathe it then do it again and see how forever ever back and yeah and watch you'll be like taking in these giant breaths and you'll be like there's nothing in your

your like you just come out the best way to commit suicide the best way to ruin a makeup yeah you know if you listen you get really light-headed. You'd smoke each other. You'd smoke each other? Yeah, you'd be like smoking a woman. So you have a terminology for this, but you don't understand that you're still suffocating? You're like smoking a woman, that is so awesome.

So you'd be like, you know what you mean? You know what I mean. But nothing would be happening. We, listen, I have a great idea. Can we please enroll Gavin in the Boy Scouts? That would be really funny. Like teach us some life skills, make you turn you into a man finally? He could probably kill off a couple kids. You ever do that thing when you wake up with somebody and you clamp your mouth over nose

and blow? That's the best thing ever. It pisses people off of you guys. I never know. Just do that clamp your mouth her nose and blow and she goes, waw! I don't ruin it, he did that to his dog. Constantly? Which was horrible. Was it dog happy? No, dog does not look happy. I'm not my mic.

Sorry guys, go get Rebel and find out. I read it about when I'm- I just ruined. You think our audience has girlfriends? I think they're okay. Let me find. You're going to read someone, Gus. Yeah, yeah, let me read this here. I'll be fine. Are you going to read something, Gus?

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Thank you, Shutterstock. We love your service. We use it all the time here on the podcast. So, girls, right? We were talking about this recently. They it all the time here on the podcast. So girls, right? We were talking about this recently. They have all the eggs in them. Go ahead. When they're born. Okay. So if you're born,

you actually, in your grandparents once. I was in my grandparents. Because your grandmother gave, was pregnant with your mother. And your mother had an egg that you came from. Is that really true? Is a woman really born with all the eggs? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, finite number. But there's tons of eggs. Not tons. Not literally weight tons. Well, how many would it be? But what if you have be 12 a year for what 30 years? 30 years.

30 60. How many, yeah. 30 60. How many is that? 30 and 60. But you can't pick your egg. You can't pick your egg. What do you want me to do? You might have a little really. You're like, oh, that baby's really into it. That eggs really into it. Let's use that one.

This is going to change. But I think that'll be it. So there's not a drug yet that will send down a specific egg though. Now it's to track them. I think that'll be the thing in the future. People will have the eggs scan as which will be the most genetically perfect egg.

I think they do that now. I think you can't do that. Why would they do that? They can do that for sexing a baby. Like they can, yeah, they can, not for obviously an egg, but on sperm, they can determine and make it so you can have a boy. Yeah, the egg doesn't decide whether it's a boy. No, I correct it myself, midstream, so you wouldn't be confused.

And you still got confused about. No, they can do that, they can do that with semen. If they can do a semen, they can do it with, they can do it with a, yeah. Yeah, sperm are even tinier than eggs. Yeah. And I'm sure they can scan for defects, right? We're just really lucky as guys. Let me have infinite sperm. Yeah. So lucky. I don't feel lucky. Why?

I just don't feel lucky. I mean, you won five grand. I was trying to get it to a deeper level. All right, but. So you kind of got away from what you were starting with. So you were you're saying that we were all inside our grand mother's at one point. Right. Yeah. Well, a bit of you don't ask me. You're the one who was thinking. Yeah, sure. So we're so explain this to me. You'll talk an egg, right? I'm let's just say I had there was an egg that you're 50% egg Yes, I'm 50% egg and you're 50% giz yeah, that's correct dad giz and mom egg yeah, so

You're saying that when my mom was in her mother's womb. Yeah, she had all of her eggs That was you waiting on her eggplant a X-tammer Well, well what were the eggs on? And the ovary. Yeah. You don't have email in the anime? Yeah.

There you go. I want to quiz him now. What's a uterus? The baby thing. The baby. You should show him a diagram and ask him point to stuff and ask him the name it. No Jesus. I can't even imagine.

Don't let them destroy the mysteries. Don't let them destroy the mysteries. There's a philopeia in the chair. I learned that learning only leads to like... Every girl in Tweet Chat right now is going insane. Both of them are at us right now. Yeah, women are born with all their eggs. Cheers. Hey, low guy.

I think I just have eggs in it, Gavin. Just DNA. Here's something that... He's a very simple mathematical trend, but still is amazing to me. Joel, do you have any sisters? I do not. You're not, you're all boys in your family, right? Yeah.

Okay, so your mom had all boys, right? She had all boys. But your mom has a mother, because she's a person that has mothers, who has to have a mother, who has a mother, who has a mother, who has a mother. Your mom, by having all boys, broke a line of women, a direct-dissension of women that goes all the way back literally to the beginning of time.

To me that's weird. That's an interesting biological fact. So what you're saying is that I am the anti-Christ. I know. You're giving us one of the things that my mom makes sense now. My mom's the same way. That's one of those things that sounds interesting but it isn't. Well, I mean, it's when you would, that is, that's the same way. That's one of those things that sounds interesting, but it isn't

Well, I mean It's when you when you were like that. It's mental. Yeah, she broke a line that goes back Which is true. So how do you word it so it's not? I feel really depressed now How is that less interesting than half egg half a year? Another way to word it is that there was a 50% chance of having a boy, so she did that. No, she had how many... well, it's going to go on to Joel's family, but she had multiple kids and she had all... Oh boy, it's just interesting that there was this trend of straight line of women all the way down to time, and Joel's mom ended it. And my mom said, she ended it. If you have all seam-sex kids, you break that chain. Yeah, but when there's one origin splitting in so many directions, there's gonna be lines ending all over the gap.

But this is a long fucking line. It can do an end this generation. You any web will go back to the beginning though, wouldn't it? Any web will go back to the beginning. The beginning of the web? The spider butt? He said anyone who's alive right now ultimately can trace their way back to the beginning. I'm depressed. No, I... I have no idea how that makes it more interesting or less interesting. I don't even know what you're trying to say at this point. Yeah, how is it less? It's a chain and the fact that other people have

like different like short. Do you make it sound like it's a mental? It's a very simple. That's what's amazing about it. Gavin is a simple mathematical equation applied basically over almost infinity. That's what makes it interesting Then this is like an endless chain of women. It was all the way back to being in time Yeah, but that's like saying okay say she used a computer. It's simple and her mother didn't She broke a line of people back to the beginning of time who never used a Didn't exist back then but women did and I had baby say she ate a prawn or something they existed I'm here. I'm here to support you basically what you're saying what you're saying is this happens all the time You happen to all the time that's what makes it amazing. It's're saying is this happens all the time. You happens all the time happens all the time

That's what makes it amazing. It's not made nothing that happens all the time is amazing Literally everybody was in their grandma's room You think that's fucking amazing that literally happens to everybody Just something that was there that happens so why don't you bring it up? So why'd you bring it up? Why do you might think you have to be interesting and your thing just has to be set because mine was a Pre-story about the story about picking eggs What's a pre-story? Kaiser you're like a little story to get you like interested in the next story the bottom line

Is it everyone should have more sex? Yeah, I'm a Joe. I've solved the problem All right, well we will go there I don't even know what we were talking about. I feel bad because I came in. I wasn't, I normally try to be somewhat prepared for these things. I have some interesting story. I didn't this time, and I feel guilty about it. Not a word, but we growled here about Vegas.

So look, so look, here's what I did. I'm very happy about this. Look at this, Gus. Man, I cleaned it. It's like you've christened it. I'm not gonna clean this. Don't make a gift out of this place. All right They're gonna get out of this place. Can you see that? Oh, it's a light I cracked my iPhone

I dropped my iPhone 4 I dropped it out of my truck and it fell face down did you a dad? Shattered did he crack his iPhone? That's not interesting. I don't want to talk about it. It's not interesting my dads have a That's all that matters. So I cracked my iPhone and I was actually like, I picked it up and I looked and I was like, turn it and I was like, yes, it's shattered. I was happy, do you know why I'm happy? Why?

Because I didn't upgrade to an iPhone 5 because I knew that I was gonna fucking drop my phone sometime in the next couple months and if I bought an iPhone 5, I was gonna drop. I was gonna drop a reason and shatter my iPhone 5 So now you're happy you're happy that you're gonna get an iPhone 5 like when it's already a few months late Yeah, you have the same exact chance of smashing that one. I don't know how's that point no Yesterday, all right. Well, do you still have an n64?

Me You're gonna break it What if your Xbox broke? Stay with the N64 then. First of all, half an Xbox. The thing is, I drop iPhones, I break my iPhones. I know the idea is- When did you break the last one? I've broken probably, I've had about five iPhones,

I've probably broken three of them. Oh, that's not too bad. That's three out of five. That's 60%. That's 60%. That's my experience and most people tell me- So let me get this straight. Nothing I knew is interesting, Zee.

Is that what I'm hearing? No, I'm sick. I have never, how many of you broke him? Zero. Fucking yeah. See, I'm responsible. I've never locked my key in my car. I don't even use a case or anything.

I mean, you can't do it, yeah, fuck it. Fuck. But you know what the price that we pay for that is like you and I, like we have medical problems. Because we're worried about breaking our iPhone. It's just like the whole time. I am going to Manage every moment, but we spent a lot of energy Focusing on not breaking the iPhone the other day. I was in my house very to have a tile floors And I was pulling my iPhone out of my pocket and it slipped out of my hand

It was falling over the tile and then with my like I knew I was gonna reach it in time with my foot I kicked it because there was a rug on the other side of the room and I kicked it So I didn't land on the tile and it went across the room and landed on the rug and I was like Yes, and I walked over totally fine. Like I said, I've like saved it. I'm glad is a camera in your house I walked up to I walked up to I had a glass With my hand. I walked up to my freezer, I opened the freezer and Ice Cube fell out. I hacky-sacked the Ice Cube, it went up and over behind me and I stuck my foot out and hacky-sacked it again,

it came back up over my head and landed in the glass. Oh, wait. And I'm like, and there's no one. And now this is why you should have a camera. No one ever fucking sees this stuff. But this, I don't know what the point to that was. I'm just, I beg it, I have phone five now because I broke my phone four and I'm smart to wait

because I'm so sorry. So is there four or four of us? It sounds like rationalization to me. It's a four, it sounds like rationalization. I broke my phone and now I can upgrade. I wish there was a permanent, I wish you could do theater mode on your life because the amount of stuff I've done that has been amazing. It's art.

We're throwing the letter into the mailbox. I was on holiday once with a bunch of, that was probably like 15, and we were down on this cliff, it was like this volcanic cliff, and there was this little hole in the cliff, like halfway up, and we were winging stones, we were trying to get stones in,

and then I stopped playing, and they were trying for ages to throw the stone into this hole, and they were like bouncing off, they were getting nowhere near it. And I found the leg of this chair, like a plastic chair. And it was like, what's that sport where you have the curved thing? I like. Yeah, it was like that. So after about half an hour of watching them this, I was like, I'm gonna get it.

Hold on, I'm just like, I put the stone and I just went, and it went really fast, straight in the hole. It was incredible. And I paid good money just to have that moment. Did you show women? Let me ask you. Show women? Yeah. Do you think women are like intrigued by that? Well, I'll find that.

Even though he's never lazier. He's probably the one who's saying no. Yeah, well, I was like, I like adventures. I see you're going the whole. Yeah, everyone's talking. All right, you know what would be cooler? Yeah. Had you before it went in the whole?

Turned away, started walking off. Turn away, thrown the chair like, goes in the whole and Tundu, I turned away, started walking on. Tundu, I thrown the chalice, goes in the hole, and then you're like, let's go get a beer. Yeah. You would have been impressed if I said that, right? She said, yeah. Oh, okay. So you got to look away to be cool and then go say you want to go get a beer.

How's it working out with your new masters? I don't want to read you. I'm going to. And the one that you were sold to. Oh, yeah, in Vegas. Sorry, I'm a tangent. Barbara's now in sex life. your new masters. And the one that you were sold to. Oh, yeah, in Vegas. Sorry, I'm a tangent. Barbara's now in sex life.

The, I, I'm, Gus, I'm, I get frustrated. I don't know why I keep reading. Our chat. I don't know why I do it. So, since I smashed my phone, someone suggested Bernie, you should just jailbreak your iPhone for us. Oh yeah, that'll fix the thing. That makes a total sense.

You can put that app that like rewills glass. Why would you jail? Why would you jail break your actual friend? I don't know. I don't know. I think the guy just knew the term jailbreak and wanted to say it on the internet. That's it. I mean I can't imagine what he was thinking right next to me. You know it's okay I'll jail right next to me. This knows? Okay, I'll do it right away. So, I'll make my phone relatively live. Yes. And then people are live tweeting. Yes.

So, people are tweeting. You know what would be fun? Is it, we're just going to read out, we're going to read out one tweet. No, there's no time to land this? We're like maybe 15 seconds delayed. 15 seconds. Tell me, can you kill us on this? You know what I just, know is a flaw on my plan.

What's that? Is that I'm old and I cannot fucking read that fucking mind. You really can't see that. You want to pick one for you? You know what's funny is it really literally literally happened to me like this. Oh fuck yeah. Oh, I can't get there. We got to see. You got to see. First we got to see if they picked up on what we're talking about. All right, here it comes. I can see in a mind. Like what's going to happen if we acknowledge the tweet chat? Are people going to acknowledge? Well, mine's exploded.

I don't know if you can see this, but this one here. Do we break it? Yeah, it goes. All right, so you can't even read that. Let me tell you, there are all gems, too. Dicks, dicks, dicks. Dicks, dicks, dicks. Dicks, dicks.

There you go. I just made that guy. That's our winner. Thank you. Thank you. Climb on. You know, we're going to run into the problem. We ran made that guy. That's our winner. Thank you. He's a big client on. You know, we're going to run to the problem we ran to last week if people started tweeting a bunch where the hash tag started trending and then all of a sudden the M spam bot showed up.

When you drive in this country? Go ahead. Are you conscious of how much money you spend on gas? I am now. I moved farther away from the office. Because I never, because I don't drive. So I never take in this information drive so I never taken this information But I really care about my answer question. He just answered questions. He could tell us fucking story

What was so interesting about you? Is he just like that? You asked the question. Yeah, it doesn't matter if it's interesting or not you asked the question you have to receive the answer I received it. No, you didn't. What was his answer? Something about driving us See you didn't you you you are one of the people ask a question only to tell a story You don't give a fuck about the information. See, you didn't. You were one of the people who asked a question only to tell a story.

You don't give a fuck about the information being given to you. But then don't go through that step. Just start talking. Go ahead. Go ahead. Well, anyway, right? What was I talking about?

I don't know. I don't know. See, we're listening to you. So I can tell you, you were talking about something. Hey, Dad, when you're driving there, Austin, do you worry about how much to you so I can tell you you were talking about hey Get in there. Awesome. Do you worry about how much gas you spend while driving? Do you worry about that? I'm gonna tell I heard I'm trying to prompt you for your story when you drive on awesome Do you ever worry about how much gas you're spending and it drive the cost there? I don't drive in a car Story please story. Yeah, I mean, there's a point, right? Story, please.

Right, right. So, is it dick, dick, dick, is that what you were going to say? So in the US, what's the price of gas right now? Like, three something. Three sixty. You know, I used to pride myself on never knowing what the weather or the price of gas was, just because I couldn't affect either. I figured two things.

Like, I don't care what I spent on gas or beer. Those are two things. I made a dissolution. Yeah. So, yeah though. So, gas price of gas is about 350. Yeah. And I was looking at the boards in the UK.

I was just there yesterday. Yeah. And it said 150 or something. Per liter. Per liter. That was the thing. So I was transferring that to dollars and it was like $2 or something. But then, probably more expensive.

I didn't know how many leases were in a gallon. Three is like $75. Is that right? You knew that was top of your head? Yeah. No, it's like, it's 4. No, it's $3.75. No, it's not $3.75.

It's $3.75, leaders to the gallon. No, it's not $3.75. We already asked him in that short, a period of time, we said, Gus, do you know he's like, oh yeah, I absolutely know it's this. Are you sure? He he's like no she wants to have a thought I mean we had like It's way more than that and then you were like no no, I'm not sure. I'm gonna Anyway So it was the I figured out it was the equivalent of of... If you convert...

If you convert our amount to dollars and then multiply it by 3.75. It was like $8.90 per... Instead of 3.50. It's over double, that's mental. Yeah, it's kind of boring. And that was my story. I was saying, it's cheap as cocks here. Why is it so cheap?

It's not. Well, historically, it's not cheap. It's cheap. What's relative to relative do you care would you drive as much if you spend eight dollars nine teeth? By the way, I'm sorry one gallon is 3.785 liters. I was off by three hundredths of a fucking leader. You goddamn recharge Anger we need to have like it's way more than that. It's like four 3.75 No, but there's this difference in gallons is there But there's a difference in gallons isn't it? Is it a better iron and imperial? Oh, you know fucking hell is a gallon?

Is a gallon a US gallon and different from you take out a gallon is a gallon? Are you sure? Yes. Are you? Yes! A gallon is a gallon. Is there, although I do have to say, is a imperial gallon? Why do we have dry, measuring, or a thing?

Well, this imperial metric isn't it? It's weight versus volume. What system are you on? You're not metric. You are. I mean, at this point I'm on the whiskey system, right, but Imperial oil and plus 15 right now. I'm gonna plus 15 right now So why are there dry measuring cups and liquid measuring cups? What no, I know right? Why is that I mean?

It's a different volumes, right? Like a liquid has no space. That's no air between it. What dry goods do? Okay, but like I can make you use the scoops and Then when they put the water of the milk in you got to use the cup. Yeah, why why would said what's that? Is it is it a different measurement? Like if I should do this at home if I take the cup and I pour it into a cup. Yeah, how does it match up? Right? The US the US liquid gallon is 3.785 liters. The Imperial gallon is 4.5 liters. Whoa! When you all have your own gallon,

it's a fucking mind-up. Is that true? Wow. All right, Gavin wins. Wow. No, but if he's converting it to American, you have to use the American gallon to make that conversion. Oh, yeah.

Oh, ho, ho! He's now saying he's stuck now. What are you doing? What happened? He's going to use the whole point of his story is to compare it to American prices. You know, you're just a fucking imperial gallon? Ha ha ha ha ha.

Or whatever you're stupid gallonant. This shot on your crotch when he did that was unbelievable. That should absolutely be a gift. Every single podcast always breaks down to like units of measurement You know what if I'm on a units of measurement Jesus Christ. We anyway, but chart. Well anyway, guess it you're lucky in this country. Gas is cheap

Historically, never find it's sort of expensive to what it has been. Yeah, no like cheap compared to the to UK Yeah, now like sheep compared to the UK. The ever she that famous like a screenshot from diehard where he walks out and to go look at like Nakatomi Plaza the cop. Yeah, he comes out with the donuts and it shows the outside of the building and the gas station and gas is like 70% of gallon. That's crazy. Yeah, diehard was in theaters. I remember when I first moved to Austin, gas was still under a dollar and I was so fucking

angry when it finally went above 99 cents. So did they have just two slots for the amount on those boards? No, but they did. They did have to when Gassel over two dollars, a lot of stations had to struggle because the the the dollar column all ahead was the one. It was a bull mark of the sign makers. Sign makers were just. Yeah. And why did all the the amounts have nine tenths at the end? were just yeah and why did all the the amounts have nine tenths at the end oh we looked at stuff once um you didn't know measurement now we looked at stuff once on the podcast I think it was that was worth a lot more right it's antiquated yeah it made it it made a big difference when money was worth a lot more it really is stupid for those of you who don't know what we're talking about in the US when

you buy a gallon of gas when we say it's 319 it's actually 319 and 9 tenths of a cent it's 3.19 9 9 yeah why is that because of what he just said yeah that he used to find the end of the story back when back when back when back when the cent was worth more and now it's like we have to carry this bullshit because of some goddamn 80 years ago yeah thanks resources gas and Saudi is 10 cents per litre. It's also it's yeah, it's pretty cheap when you get it People just dig a hole in the car. Yeah, thank you to the real blaze 406 who just sent us the actual image Yeah, from that hurt there is 74 cents. Oh wow as I was see the near dot Oh, yeah, wow. As I was saying, the near dot, I'm not just screaming. You know, all I see right there?

All I see right there is a top one. Double down. Double down. And then that's all I see. God, are you really that Vegas? I see. You saw seven and four. Every combination of 11 is meaningful to me.

Yeah, it's fine, Joel. You got to go back to Vegas. I'm sorry. I want to go back to this. Would you be less stressed if you didn't worry about investments and money in that? Oh, I would not be me. I would not be me.

I would focus on it every fucking second. If you don't want to have stress, I don't know if you'd recognize it. The night before Vegas, I stayed up all night long, like watching financial news. I think something's wrong with that. Are you out of Apple? Oh, I sold Apple to top. Nice. $6.98.

Who fucking sold Apple to top nice 698 who fucking sold Apple to top Fucking hedge fund that sold Apple at the top name me one fucking hedge fund that sold Apple to top I fucking sold Apple at the fucking top six. I tweeted it September but Joe 698 a share J. R. Apple is 420. I said get out I think it's 410 now didn't't it go down more to the 20? I don't know. 10 is more 20. But surely, once you have enough money to be comfortable and not worry about it.

I don't have enough money to be comfortable. Well, sell something. But like I said, you had enough money to not have to really worry about it. Surely you could just relax that. Well, think about it this way, Gavin. So I know. I know. I'm not going to relax. I know what's going'm not gonna relax.

I'm not gonna there's I know what's going on in the financial world and there's an event that's gonna happen at some point in the future I'm not gonna relax until that moment happens. Oh boy here we go. When the aliens appear over the back. The aliens fucking come other fucker. I am not gonna be relaxed. Well think of it this way you talked about like how fun it would be to gamble all your money on red. Investing is just a single gambling. Yeah, but it's amazing. Investing takes a long time. Oh, until it doesn't. It can go in a hurry. Well, no, no, I mean, I can't buy a gambling I can double my money in a second. Go ahead. How? Well, but on red. Oh, or you can lose it on a second. Right. Yeah yeah but I could double you invest you assume it takes a time every day is a different amount here's the one thing I've

always said about investing is that they were talking about whatever they talk about investing and how good it is you know for talking about the stock market in particular they always use the word historically historically historically and then you look at you look at like you look at like you start at least like the Nasdaq and the Dow Jones and the Dow Jones and all these indexes change, like companies fall on and off it all the time. So it's like, you're looking at a sampling of companies that are doing well, that are doing great. If the stock market, like you say,

you pulled the listing of stocks out and it included every company that ever existed and was ever listed in the stock exchange, and all the ones that were no longer here were at zero, it would look like the worst bet in the world. Cause it'd be like 50% of the company's or at zero. No, because I mean, even the common dude

has some sort of sense of semblance, I think, where it's like you can kind of generally look. It's like, okay, if I invest in Google, probably not going out of business next year. Probably not. Where's like, okay, here's the company I've never heard of before. I'm sure a lot of people penny stop people

Yeah, I'm sure but they don't know. They was not a people and put people and put their life fortunes in penny stocks And Ron was what the third most valuable company but that's that's that's they pull I mean I understand what you say but that that still Against trend that generally doesn't have to start No, it's true right outside the norm. mean, Enron spent years and years and years establishing itself as a legitimate company. Right. A legitimate people who had records behind them. Do you know what Enron did? But before they cheated, before I got cheated, he had 20, 30 years in the oil industry

of making money, making money. So we knew this. Right. Let's make a big company. I'm down. What? You know what? And what their business was that they did?

They sold electricity from the end. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, basically, like energy futures. Yeah. Yeah. They didn't even sell real energy.

I was thinking, I was thinking, I was thinking, I was thinking, I was thinking, I was thinking, I was thinking, I was thinking, I was thinking I was thinking, I was thinking, I was thinking, I was thinking, I was thinking, I was thinking I was thinking, I was thinking, I was thinking, I was thinking, I was thinking, I was thinking I was thinking, I was thinking, I was thinking, I was thinking, I was thinking, I was thinking I was thinking, I was thinking, I was thinking, I was thinking, I was thinking, I was thinking, I was thinking, I was thinking, I was thinking, I was thinking, I was thinking, I was thinking, I was thinking, I was thinking, I was thinking, I was thinking, I was thinking, I was thinking, I was thinking, I was thinking, I was thinking, I was thinking, I was thinking, I was thinking, I was thinking, I was thinking, I was thinking, I was thinking, I was thinking, I was thinking, I was thinking, I was thinking, I was thinking, I was thinking, I was thinking, I was thinking, I was thinking, I was thinking, I was thinking, I was thinking, I was thinking, I was thinking, I was At some point in the future you can buy it at No, dude, let's sell teleports then It's pressure. Let's have a Kickstarter. Let's sell oxygen buckets. That's what I think I'm gonna sell

Why isn't the bucket a part of it? You would go eye holes in it and all the air would get out You knew it fucking die, but you see yourself that even if I did cut eye holes out the bit above my eyes still breathable But your mouth is your mouth is above your eyes You hair would breathe and that was it Can you breathe up here? Because I sure as fuck can't You're gonna put your head up then why do you have the eye holes?

Gavin, how have you lived this long? I mean that is a mathematical anomaly, but you're alive. We, but you need the Boy Scouts. You can really, we need to enroll him in the Boy Scouts. If you, if say you went really, really deep, really deep, to the point where you, you can't swim up on one breath. Okay. Bucket of air.

If you're gonna bring the bucket bring a scuba 10 and if you've got bucket it makes you like how could pull you up because it's air because it's your air that you bloody your body how does it make it less light Well, no, you're a whole unit. That's gonna be a big bucket. No, it doesn't it's a regular bucket You're in it's not from the air is from my lungs, and you blew it out and you're all being connected. It's all the same air. Because like somebody's coming to the hospital. It's like how the earth doesn't get heavier if you put more buildings on it.

Exactly. Did you build on a meteor? Something like that. We're going to kick Moon Rock and build a skyscraper out of it. Yeah, but. Seven freeze. Oh, we're going to work. We are.

We are. We are. We get hit by many. How many hit meteors we get hit by and we I don't know hundreds Yeah, but they're small. Yeah, so slowly. I mean really slowly. I know gab would start the oxygen bucket company And he would make a miscalculation between imperial gallons and US gallons and he would immediately die One of the money back You go bloody US gallon out of it. Have you ever done any like free diving or anything like that? What's free diving? It's with that scuba tank or anything like that.

Snorkeling? Yeah. I can't breathe underwater. I can't use a snorkel. You can't breathe underwater. I can't really. I can't. I don't have the guts to take a breath in while I'm in water.

This survival instinct with you is strong. Yeah, even the rest of your body is saying, Hey Evan, I'm underwater. I think it evolved with a tube to the surface, did I? You evolved with a fucking brain that tells you how to do things. But you start to think it's your nature. It's your nature. Like if I'm underwater and I'm gonna breathe in,

my body's like, are you sure? You're underwater, do you want to breathe, right? Yes, can you tell it? Yes, I am sure. I know. I don't trust it. So what you want to breathe? Yes, you tell it. Yes, I am sure I Don't trust it. So you don't you never climb a tree No, I'll climb a tree. Okay, even though you can follow the tree and die and that's bad because I've evolved with trees You've I didn't know did you not evolved with water? I didn't evolve with a bloody snorkel around did I you didn't evolve climbing trees? You didn of wings either

Climb a tree I'm not sure this is conversation is evolving And I climb trees and I don't breathe underwater it's not if I climb a tree I'm gonna suffocate what you talking about Tree and die Right you can fall out of a tree and you can die. I guess you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you, could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, could, you could, you could, could, you could, you, you could, you could, could, you been fine have you circled so yeah I'm just you I'm just you're a circle yeah I live in Puerto Rico you want to go a year and a half I mean you know that's all there was to do well despite all the pressure that you're getting right now I don't think I want to I don't think I could do it you think I breathe I mean I'm here with underwater are you guys figuring this out for you know I don't think I want to stick a tube in my mouth and be like, okay, I'm at the surface.

Okay, I breathe and then I go underwater in a whole bit. I just yeah, I mean, I mean, I really just let him have to swallow a pill. That is true. That is true. Really? Yeah. I swear, I think we're in a video of it. I just want to have the first time on grissities. Is this an English thing? Over two decades and he never saw it. Because I don't like medication. I hate taking medication. Okay. He'd been hospitalized for surgery and he never saw it because I don't like medication. I hate taking medication. He'd been hospitalized for surgery and he never saw it a pill. Yeah. Have you felt that way? You feel that way to some extent, right? What? I cast swallow pills. Generally when I was younger, I was like, I if I had a headache, I would wait for whatever. Well, I already knew the answer. Look, go ahead. Well, it might offense. I'm drunk. It might offense. No, but I mean,

when you were, didn't't you I don't know Didn't you have like if you have like a headache when you're younger? You're like well, I'm just gonna fight this. I'm not gonna take an ass. I never had a headache. Yeah, I still don't you had a headache the other day I know I never had a headache so it's like 24. I never what are you on about never had a headache? If you get dehydrated you get headache. I didn't get dehydrated So you always because I'm a busy snorkeling and I never got the water. I was I evolved to I have a great head and head you never had a headache never had a head I never hang over and in fact my first head it was from a hangover. Have you had a diabetes in sick what wait what happened what happened

to you when you had your first headache at the age of 24. I was like oh my god brain cancer. I'm dead. Is whatever you're talking about this headache. You're when you had your first headache at the age of twenty four. We were like, oh my god! Brain cancer! I'm dead! Is whatever you're talking about, this is headache. You're like, this is it, this is what everyone's talking about. I could imagine what you're talking about. You didn't think you had any sort of pressure or anything before the age of twenty-four that we just believed in.

Maybe it's not out of college. Like maybe you had some sort of level of slight discomfort. We were like, oh, maybe this is what the headache that we're talking about. I don't ever remember having a headache until I was twenty-four'm sure so I was out of college and I had my first headache And I had it from a hangover that's yours and you're like oh my god. This is what everyone's talking about Yeah, I need to say oh my god I wasn't like the other world you never banged your head. I never I did I have a scar right here Yeah, you have a scar you gonna get a headache from the scar

I mean I had pain on my head from that, but I don't remember having a headache. Like, in the sense of like, there is pain in its in my head. So, what does the pain come from? Because it's precious. It's your brain. Your brain doesn't have any feeling. Your brain's making it up a lot of times. It's tension that your brain is like displacing. See, that makes, I mean, yeah. You know how, you know, I am a fucking picture of displaced tension.

You and me. I mean, we are pictures of displaced tension. I got my medicine right here. I got to complete once because someone gave me they were trying to crack my back and trying to relieve tension. And they got annoyed that I didn't crack and I had no tension in my body. So the life of Gavin free is similar to the life of a jellyfish.

I'm not sure you have no- They said I was like a wet noodle. Oh my God. Someone said we should give Gavin a bucket for immersion and put him in the water. That is a fucking great deal. You are the smartest person on the internet whoever came out with that.

We are going to do a, what's the game with a bubble? We have to breathe out of a bubble. Sonic? No, yeah, you breathe a bubble, so Sonic. Done. We're going to put you in a bucket. And we're going to put you in a headshot. Can we also do an immersion with like marble madness?

Push them off a cliff. It's a great idea right? For those dudes zorbing. That's what's cool when you're in the giant ball rolling Yeah, and then with the wind took one like off and it went off a cliff. Can you just fuck out? Yeah? Yeah? I've heard about that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I Yeah, yeah Yeah, yeah, you just see a dude roll I need to just veers off and everyone's chasing like everyone is holding on and then everyone's like He's gone. Wow that sucks. Did you I mean you get out of it? I don't want to hold it out right? I imagine if you're in a giant ball gun You haven't fun the whole time you don't know Yeah, what like every every second you're, why are those people running towards me?

I guess at some point he was like, I haven't hit the ground in a while. Yeah, at some point, right? Like they talk about people who skydive or wherever something goes wrong, they have a heart attack before they hit the ground. Is the guy who's zorbing? Did that guy have a heart attack?

Or was like, everything's fine until the moment he hits the ground. They'd have a hot tackle that shit that pants. And now I'm gonna shoot you to shit your pants, get one of those things. It'd be crazy. That was like a fucking... How did you make this guy's death worst, gap? God, just like a...

He even worse. Just like a plastic bowl full of like fucking organic material. It'd be like a washing machine full of feces. Jesus. He did the burying him in the pop dorm, right? He wouldn't wanna like... I mean, just leave him in there. We just take the dorm, put it in the freezer.

You'll do it later. Oh my God. Why don't I have a question? So Gus, you have no, like, let's just say you die tomorrow. Let's just say that. Let's just say it happens. You're dead tomorrow. What do you want done with your body?

I don't care. I don't want it buried because that's a fucking waste of space. I'll say that. Burn it and put me in the dump. So you don't care what happens to your body after you die. No, not at all. But you don't want to be buried. I don't want. Yeah, because I feel like that's a waste of space. So let's say Esther decides she knows this. She says I'm a barium. Would you mad about that? No, because you can't be mad because you're fucking dead. Well, let's just say let's say you're having a conversation with her, and you say, I want to do this, and she goes, no, I'm going to do this.

Or you mad about it. There you go. She says, no, I want to bury you. You know, I'm a choice because you'll be mad. I'd be like, I mean, I don't want that. You can do that if you want. That's stupid. Okay.

What would make you mad? Let's say, we're going to make a puppet out of your body and hang it above the russeteeth set. Like, please, you don't even know about it. No, I'm sorry. No, we're going to tell, we're going to a puppet out of your body and hang it above the rooster teeth set like that. He's dead though, I don't even know about. No, I'm sorry. No, we're gonna tell, we're gonna have a conversation. Like I'm telling you right now, you're just I, we're gonna take your body and just sort of like stretch it out in the background.

Sure. Are you cool with that? That's fine. As long as the sponsors are good. Yeah. I wanna just give myself, if I don't, they're very giving. No, I don't care. I'm dead.

I really don't give a fuck what happens to my body. Before I'm ill, you know, if I donate my body to science, does that cost anything for my family to deal with? Can I just give me to science? I think so. I think you may have already found it. I'm gonna have to pay for a funeral. I don't think so.

I don't know. You didn't? Oh man, I was gonna watch the Zorbea, but now it's didn't link. What a... I don't know if I should go roll away I was gonna watch the Zorbea but now it's didn't link Don't shoot guy roll away. Did they take the Zorbe video down because we talked about it? No, it's probably age-gated and I'm not logged in because I don't fucking log in to Google or YouTube when I'm on there Another thing I don't do. I don't know why people do that. It's like not getting a players card Yeah, you don't want to try to be a anyone from subscribing to my channel just now they're fine

No way listen to me. It's fine for them. No way listen to me. We should ask the viewers. Are you okay if we can take your body and Just pin it up on the wall behind someone asked if I was an organ donor. Yeah, cuz I mean I'm not using anything You wouldn't want donated huh anything that you would not want donated no, but I hope someone gets my dick. You want everything? Yes, somebody should. Carl Polkinson once said he donated every part of his body except his eyes, because he didn't want to be a blind ghost. Here's the thing, right? I would donate my eyes.

I wouldn't. Here's the thing. If aliens come back and they're like, ah, we're aliens, we have tons of technology, we can re-animate your dead. Oh, and we burned you, you're done. Yeah, it's like, they can re-animate his eyes. Well, they're saying if they burn you, you're not listening again. I'm going to make the leak. To be re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re- I would just imagine that if they get your genetic material that they could

recreate the whole thing. Yeah, they recreate the whole thing. In fact, I was, remember when I was at the participating in a DNA thing? Yeah. When they were going to get my DNA in the space station? Oh, Jesus Christ. Yeah. Jesus Christ.

Is that what you get in the space station? No, they did this thing where they contacted people. This was like 2006, I wanna say or something like that. Where they contacted people and they said, you wanna be part of this program where we send you a swab and we get your DNA and they put it on a chip and they put it in the space station. And how much were they charging?

No, no, no. No, it was like something like, I think like they said like Stephen Colbert had already done it and some other people and they were like Stephen Colbert I'm serious. Don't you remember this and I refuse to do it because I was like I can't It's like that line in contact. It's like here's the pill to kill yourself because a lot of things can go wrong But it's for all the things we can't imagine I know okay Like I can't imagine what somebody would do if they got hold of your genetic material like I don't know what they could do

But the fact that I don't know what they could do, but the fact that I don't know what they could do. That's a problem. How important do you think you are? I don't, I mean, let's get a, they get a, a fucking machine. They just read the fucking thing and it makes my life hell. I don't know. Here's the, the argument you were saying. You did it this point there. No. That's what the, I don't know. I don't know how I'm attached to my DNA. I don't know. I don't understand on, on a metaphysical level, how I'm attached to my DNA combination. I don't, I don't understand on a metaphysical level how I'm attached to my DNA combination.

I don't understand that. Well, maybe some other civilization does in a way that I can't fathom that could have played like I don't want to do it. The point I'm making is it's not satisfactory to me. If I give my, if I give my DNA to aliens and they put an egg together or whatever and there's like another that was the best thing. That's not me. That's not me. That's not me.

You don't know that. You assume it's not you. So wait, that's right. I'm gonna assume. Yeah, you never had a genetic clone. I'm gonna make that as something. But what is you? What is the piece of you that makes you,

is it the chemical in the brain? That egg is not gonna have all the fucking pain. So that's a good, that's a good, that's a good, that's a good question. But like which bit of you is you? What is the smallest portion of you that is you Like I'm not gonna have some squishy liquid in my head. We could call it into your head somewhere. Well, what's not my arm? Right, so your arm if you cut your arm off and your arm was laying there on the floor. That's not Gavin

That's not even still here. That's the lima used to use if we cut off wait, wait, Charm is it I'm saying and so if we cut off both your arms and both your legs and they were right there That's not gab. No Gavin is this because that's what that's when people say Oh someone shot my head off. You're really saying someone chopped my body off my head Okay, you don't you get the body yeah, okay? I never thought of it that way you blew my mind You are absolutely blew my mind This is my that's absolutely correct. You are absolutely blue my mind. That's absolutely correct. The Twinkled Twinkled is not obligatory. So I was reading this story the other day about how if I didn't you know you blew guys in mind you actually then blew guys.

I just put it in perspective of what you just said. If identity is the thing. Like let's say there's male identical twins Mary male or sorry Mary female identical twins. And they each have kids. The kids are legally cousins, but genetically siblings. Fuck that. Nope, really? Yeah. Is that happened?

I looked up to the two. The DNA space station and Steve and Colbert was the first image that came up. I don't know. The two men and the two women are genetically identical. But not that really. Yes they are. They're the same person.

Genetically they are identical. So when they have kids, their kids are... Oh, I'm sorry. So wait, wait, wait, wait. Really? Yes. There's no mutation of variance at all. No. They have the same fingerprint. No, they do not have the same fingerprint. Well, they don't, I don't know. The fingerprint, and they address this in the article, the fingerprint is created in the womb womb like when your fingers are first forming as you touch things in the womb So this is my mother's womb stop that stop that Stop it. Don't you have to do that. You don't have to do that. Would you be I have to do that? It's you make it make it weird

Yeah, like when I think about being in your mom I don't think about you having been in there first when I think about Let's not let's make it a gentleman's agreement. Let's not let's agree not I think about being in my mom, high five, Ben. Let's make a gentleman's agreement. Let's agree not to think about being in each other's moms. I'm saying that's bullshit. I didn't get this because I was pounding stuff before I was born. How did you get it then?

It grew that way. How do I get this? You boked yourself in the eye. You literally touched your eyeball. I did do that. I'm going to make the leap and say every conversation here makes no sense. I'm going to make the leap and say every conversation here makes no sense. There's a mortality drive.

There's a mortality drive. It's a large memory device which was taken to the International Space Station in a Soyuz spacecraft on October 12, 2008. The immortality drive contains digitized DNA sequences of a select group of humans, such as you're physics and Stephen Hawking, comedian and Stephen Colbert, playboy model, Joe Garcia, game designer Richard Garriott. Oh. He's been, he's just Stephen Hawking, comedian Stephen Colbert, playboy model, Joe Garcia, game designer Richard Garriott. Oh. He's been a space fighter. Fantasy authors, I think he's the one to get up actually.

Oh really? Fantasy authors, Tracy Hickman and Laura Hickman, pro wrestler Matt Morgan, and athlete Lance Armstrong. Want, want. Does this come back? He's just like an extra big tube with like another seren to attach to it. He's like, no big tube with like another syringe attached to it like no that's totally normal

the microtransmitters copy of George secret George's secret key to the universe of children's book authored by Stephen Hawking and is daughter Lucy we put the secret key to the universe in space the tent of the immortality drive is to preserve human DNA in a time capsule in case of global cataclysm should occur on earth is that why you do all the favor? So if the world is destroyed, they cannot remake me.

You're, thank you. If the world is destroyed, don't worry. We have backup copies of technology in space. It's no big deal to fucking read that shit. This is gonna be like some sort of alien reality show where you're gonna take all these personalities and stick them on a fucking island or whatever. And it's gonna be a professional wrestler

and Steven Hawking. You know what it is? Dispaceship. That's an alien sci-fi apocalypse movie. They find our DNA and think, oh, we'll just make these things. They're friendly little, and then we finally

can't go over the planet. We fuck everything up. You just talk about, it's like 20 years. It's just literally everything. It's exactly what happens. You're talking about humans. If you type human, you give Steven Hawking

his legs back, that you're not stopping. He's just like, I'm gonna go fuck you guys. I'm gonna go fuck you guys. He's gonna be talking about human. Astrophysics, fuck that. I'm gonna be as fucking simple. Sir, if you type human into Wikipedia, I assume there's a picture of a local there.

Is that a huge honor to be the picture of a local is that huge honor to be the badge of humanity probably just a long like a linear to vinci sketch but who's a based on uh... is that a self portrait uh... here we go we're gonna find out we're gonna be wrapping up soon by the way guys i'm warning you now so you get your shit out of the way what does that mean you have to type wikipedia in a google you just could type it in the address bar i can't really see i didn't know what I was gonna get it. No, it's getting old

dot com redirects to dot org. Oh look there is there's two humans click on them. All right. They are the most important people on earth. They don't know they're here They have never used Wikipedia There's like two people who couldn't sue you know, just they look like So to bet so when the aliens it's funny they looked like the back around is like mountainous material But by the way you go outside of LA like you go just beyond the shit hole mountains of LA California's gorgeous. It's like rolling green hills. Like they said well it's golden You must have been there during the two days. They had an afraid to have oh, yeah, yeah, okay But it was and then but you need to know more than you know rain to have. Oh yeah, yeah. Okay, but it was, and then what you mean you get to New Orleans?

Pretty good for you. Yeah, definitely like that. No it is, yeah, New Orleans California. Yeah, beautiful. Yeah, it's very beautiful, you know. Especially the wineries. Wineries are particularly. I've never been to wine country,

we should take a trip sometime. We should get that. We should totally get that. We should use a podcast from the winery. See how that goes. We should go to the location podcast. We're like the one we did in. I like that one.

San Marcus after the garlic went well. That was a fun one. I'm asking Google who is the best human. And's already been searched for it was Lance Armstrong Michael Jordan Who is the best human being in the world? All right, let's take this up. Is it Dan or is it Dave? It's gonna be Stephen Hawking with legs. I bet fuck who's the best dude? Pull it up look up who is the best human being in the world look at Google image search And they'll say like the first return link will tell you who it is. The best human being human. You have to have a space between best and human.

Do you screw down to the last search thing? Last one. It's the bottom one. They give you two nanoseconds. The goat's gonna come back up. That dude. Who's that? Some random dude. That is the best human being in the world. That's the answer you're quite. There's a mice face in the link. Is it? So it's some dude on a pier. He looks like George just stands up. That's the best person in the world.

I've got to say that modern signfield is, uh, one of my favorite Twitter guys. I'm glad Twitter was invented just so I could follow modern signfield. What's it about? It's just people needing premises for... I saw it. It was a sign, who was still on the air today. It's funny.

I saw one tweet, it was genius. Do you think he could bring it back based on this? Can't break up with girlfriend because Netflix, which he has knows him too well. Right, it's genius. They're all great. So I followed this link through for this guy. We're gonna have to put this in the link

down for the audio podcast. Go back to that guy gallery if you can. So under the Google image, or go to his thing, and click on the view or visit the site. Go to the right. No, no, no, no. That was it. The one part of the visit page.

And this is like, it's somebody who wrote a MySpace journal saying, this is the best man in the world. It's our anniversary. And that's his wife, I guess? What? Wow. What? It's really unlikely. Well that's his wife, I guess? What? Wow. What? That seems really unlikely.

Well, they're going to curse with picture. Pictures on the internet don't reflect reality. Why is this picture? But it's funny to me that this woman wrote on her Myspace profile. This is the best man in the world. And that's. So now it's established. Somehow the Google found that and said, this's the best human being in the world.

I'm not to use my space. I don't know how to do it. This was once the most popular website on the internet. My space? Yeah. Yeah. It's crazy how things work like that. Like my space. So IGN was just sold by Fox. Or what's it called? Not Fox News. What's the name of the actual company? Newscorp. Newscorp. Thank you. There's the what's the name of the actual company news core news corp. Thank you There's so many newscom there bought by 600 for 650 million dollars I did my news corp and then they were sold for a hundred million Just last year. I didn't really will win. When will they buy Fox or news corp is spinning off all their digital properties essentially

It was a long time ago. Have they sold my space yet? Yeah, they shuttered yeah, they sold my space two or three games by they should Keep fire. Yeah, it's like if you have super old people who are completely uncool just are gonna buy all the properties at the wrong time So you know, let me ask you much the worst thing. Let me ask you a financial question about that Okay, what's worse to be dig.com and be worth $190 million if they had a deal on the table supposedly with Google to be purchased for a hundred and ninety million dollars if they had a deal on the table supposedly with Google to be purchased for $190 million then they messed up and then they ended up selling for I think a million dollars total but like the big sale was $500,000 for the brand. This last year they sold for $500,000 that was like a three year difference 190, 190,000, 500,000 which is worse that or to be the guys who own reddit

and sold it for like six million bucks and now it's worth three hundred million dollars which is worse is it worth that have something on top and watch it fall down or sell something and then watch it skyrocket after you sold it which is not a lot of the perception of question right yeah the reddit guys walk away with six million yeah the of the day Six million is better than half a million, right? Yeah, you know You like you said news core started a bunch of the sides including games buying one up and I remember when one up started You know a long time ago one up I think started two thousand two or two thousand three and it was towards the end of the drunk

Gamers days and I remember them starting and I remember it really depressing me at the time, because we were still doing drunk gamers, like we were trying to do this independent. I didn't realize you were that old. Yeah, we tried this independent gaming new site on the internet, and here, like in my mind, was a giant, you know, a traditional media back company coming into the space, getting, you know,

throwing tons of money at it, and I thought, how can you compete with that? You know, it was really like a moment of desperation. And now we have lasted still here baby i was secretly a little happy do you remember when you were when my space sold to newscorp for four hundred million five five hundred million yeah

and they they interviewed mark zucker berg and they said what would you spell sell facebook for five hundred thousand because it was facebook was catching up five hundred million because it was catching up at the time and Really really on yeah, he goes nah, we're worth at least two billion area is What idiot this guy thinks we've come is we're two billion dollars now Facebook is worth what 12 billion? 20,000 I think Yahoo even offered them two billion didn't they I think later they did yeah, yeah, and yeah It's crazy, but even Facebook's kind of dropped off. So what is Justin Timberlake have to do with my space now?

And yeah, it's crazy, but even Facebook's trying to drop the all so what is Justin Timberlake have to do with my space now? It's like one of the primary investors like a company of his that no, you guys are screwed up here You guys are just confusing the movie no with with my space or with my Sorry, okay, yeah, you're not listening You know if you're my space, I'm almost just like, you know what, we're just gonna acknowledge it. It's just gonna be like, hey everyone, let's have a goofy kickback date where we all go back to my space for one day and see what the fuck we're, it's like time caps.

I think what they've done is they've turned off the social aspects and there's like focusing on music promotion now. But what is, what is the brand on the internet? Like, I see what Joel's saying, the brand is well known. My space is a well-known brand. Like, people know that name.

Yeah, people laugh at it all the time. Yeah. You can have like a themed party. But it is like, is it better to buy a defunct brand on the internet that people know or just start over fresh? It seems like it's done. It's like, it's like a defunct one. No, it's based on a fresh.

It depends, right? Well, you know, you brand them. It depends. It's not the best web browser ever in cool and net scape. Yeah, really? Why not you know, you brand them. It depends. It's not the best web browser ever and call it Netscape. Yeah, really? Why not? There's a history there.

It's like throwback. So what is the best brand that ever came back? The best brand that ever came back. Oh, the internet. Is this Chrysler Count? What about the automotive companies? We mean like, like, we got a coca era stuff? No, like companies that, you know,

well, they didn't come back. Now, let's go for a digital brand. What's a digital brand ever recovered like that? A digital brand that's been... Apple? You could make it maybe make an argument for Yahoo. Apple maybe. Oh, wow.

Yahoo? Well, no. Well, if you look at the past six months, you look at their stock price. Yes. But I'm the only one who looks at that. But yeah, I'm pretty sure nobody's ever used Yahoo Well, just saying if you want to grow

50% in six months. I would say Apple Apple probably yeah, yeah Apple you know They were huge they shrunk to the point of Michael Dell said they should sell the company and give the money back to the Shareholder they were to the point where they had absolutely no money and who came to their help and gave them alone Bill Gates Bill Gates Microsoft stepped in and goes, well, lowing you the money, because they were fighting monopolies. Because they're fighting monopolies, it was like it's in our interest

to keep this other company alive just so we can act like we have a head. I remember that developer's conference when that happened. Yeah, and it's just sort of like the head Steve Jobs, he left, had some people, didn't work out, brought Steve Jobs back. It's gotta be Apple. He's not gonna be Apple.

It doesn't matter though, I mean, at this point, to Bill Gates, Bill Gates went out on top. I's not gonna be Apple. It doesn't matter though. I mean at this point to Bill Gates like Bill Gates no went out on top. I mean yeah. No he doesn't care. No he's a badass. Like you know he introduced himself now. He introduced himself as Bill Gates of the Bill Gates Bill and Melinda Gates foundation. Yeah Yeah, man. I don't know if you read it. If you don't know if you read that AMA he did was really interesting. It wasn't and he really drilled down He didn't just like reply to top comments. Like he would follow conversation threads really deep in and have replies like really super nested in them. I'm not very good at Reddit. Is there a good way to read an AMA when it's done?

Like is there a nice Pritz- oh, do you have to follow the it going like this and like scrolling down? I mean what you're asking is is there a quick way? That's your easiest way is to click on the person running the AMA. She's seeing all the responses and then show the parent comments I mean, you can all times infer questions from their answers to all right. We're at a two hours We need to wrap this up. No, yeah, we do we're gonna for dinner. So We're wrapping this up, but again if you're available Friday morning at 10 a.m. Texas time tune in we'll have a special livestream

And we'll be talking about something was really interesting about the AMA? I was just trying to get out. I know you are. Okay, so thanks for watching everyone. We're rap... Describe the show to a newcomer in a more familiar way. Do you like apples? Alright, example.

Together in Trempit hosts... Characombs. Characombs are free of ideas of nothing to do with this podcast. Analyze various unsolved and rooster teeth's cryptic podcast, f*** face. Call to action. Feel free to add something show premise specific, but short. Listen to show name on Apple Spotify or wherever you get podcasts. It's f*** face, a podcast.

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