Rooster Teeth Podcast - RT Podcast #325

Episode Date: May 27, 2015

RT Discusses Airport Security Searches Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's time to put your pedal to the metal. From the twisted minds behind Deadpool and Zombieland, an executive producers will learn that an Anthony Mackie comes a new Peacock original series, Twisted Metal, a high-octane action comedy based on the classic video game series. Anthony Mackie stars as John Doe, a motormouth outsider who must deliver a mysterious package across a post-apocalyptic wasteland. If he can survive the drive, also starring Stephanie Beatriz, Samoa Joe, Nev Campbell, Will Arnett, and Thomas Hayden Church. Twisted metal, streaming now now only on peacock Hello everyone welcome to the RST podcast this week brought to you by spy and trunk club

A movie wow we're big time now and trunk club. A movie. Wow. We're big time now. And trunk club. I felt like those just marriageing towards our other spots. trunk club provider of fine shirts. I think I got this from trunk club. I did actually. So we'll talk about that later. How you doing? How you doing, guys? We got this week. We got Gus. Blaine. Aaron. Chris. Gus. We did much better this week. Blaine. Blaine. Last week I was like, like oh my name is Max and it just like I will fucking Just stared at boy. Yeah, I was like I must have like I can't do anything to physically intimidate him I could just be upset and disappointed put him in a mask next time next podcast

He's just there in a metal mask like I've learned where I'm People didn't know me until I wore the mask. Wait, he wore a mask in his vein. Yeah, I know, he was. He should have done the voice. Did you ever feel like during Mad Max that have you seen it? Yeah. Do you ever feel like that, that blame voice was coming out of Tom Hardy's mouth. Like was it confusing at all for you? No, the, the, the main voice.

Yeah. No, I don't know what he was going for though, because like Mad Max is Australian, but he cannot have this like American like gruff. He was like a Batman voice, if anything. He's not a grunting. Yeah, yeah. It's still a good movie. You know, the Bane voice was the main dude,

the main villain guy. I was, yeah, I did. Then he was like, Morton Joe. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. And it's like, yeah, it sounds like Bane. That, the villain from Mad Max Free Road reminds me of my little dog Oswald Metals on this that makes him less intimidating For Halloween, I want to get him like a little mask

He lays on top you this is my property Plastic vest So gross Um was it Oswald or Benjamin that was in a million dollars? It's Benjamin. Benjamin, sorry. No, Benjamin wears a monocle. It looks like he's a giraffe though and that.

His neck is so big. His neck is huge in that. He's a very long dog. It's weird to think, like whenever I look at those two dogs in particular, it's weird to think that at some point in their history, there were wolves That eventually led to this I say that all the time with dogs because you look at all these weird things You're like you were a wolf at some point. How are you this now? How are your eyes like you know like that pug? You know penny the pug is a lovely dog, right? But she's dog she came from a wolf and that is like something a wolf would eat

Right. Yeah, you put a hesitation you put a pug outside And like it doesn't last eight hours right? No, no way an owl would pick up a pug or something Parents own maltees and they're these tiny little dogs and they have the exact bone structure of a wolf just scaled down So yeah, it's weird that that's what, you know, they're so fluffy. I'm playing with them. So fluffy. Yeah, it's, I get nervous sometimes. Like when I first moved into my new place last summer, one morning, I let my dogs out. And the little one, Oswald, the Mad Max villain, he like ran out into the front yard, then he made the like, crouch down, and he's like, that's weird, what's he doing?

So I stepped out into the yard, there was a giant hawk, like right next to us on the little balcony, just looking down at him, and I was like, oh, well that's why. That could eat him. Like they could really eat him. I could be like a, yeah, that'd be sad.

It might be like the biggest hawk I've ever seen. It took off eventually, but it probably had a five or six week, five or six feet wingspan. or six-feet wingspan. How much do you think a hawk like that can pick up? I don't know. You know, weight-wise. Because I mean, at least a rabbit.

Yeah, a rabbit, yeah. So, you know, ten pounds or something like that. You don't think like a bird like that could, because birds themselves are so light, because, you know, they fly and all that. But, you know, I. Oh yeah an infant possibly. I'm serious I'm sure it's a big take gotta get a good ass out. I'm like I came out of nowhere. Well like a newborn baby. Well that's probably why they keep newborns in the same bed. There's just hawks outside the emergency or the infant war. God damn it who brought the hogs to the hospital. We're we thinkin' love every bed with a falconry right next door. The new needle. Jerry. Cost cutting measures.

So we get a penny. She was at our softball game or the kickball game, probably the best part of that game. Other than that, we got our asses. So I do want to update all of the viewers and listeners to who actually was the first person injured It wasn't Brandon. It was Maryl sitting in the control room Maryl He should have kept your mouth shut. I was gonna take the blame. I was icing my foot last night She couldn't keep her mouth shut she has a giant bandage on her knee. Oh She kicked she didn't realize how heavy the ball was and kicked it and immediately fell over no Oh, you know that is pretty bad. That's the complaints I've heard is just the ball was big

Yeah, fucking massive. They're like small Yoga balls. They're like medicine balls. Yeah, well, is that normal for kickball league? I don't understand. I don't think so I think well Brandon went into it thinking we were gonna be kicking with the smaller ones Because his girlfriend Paula plays kickball and she's been in a league before and they use the regular ones. We showed up and they had these fucking boulders and really what the hell you know like I kicked it and I kicked it far but it's so big and it just floated for so long that there was like three people in the outfield they're just like bomb on. Yeah.

Brick. Brick, Brick said you couldn't even do pop flies really because there was such a big ball that it was just you just kind of kicked it and broke Your foot and ran or whatever basically yeah, you hobbled to the first base. We got fucking wrecked. Oh the score He's like what was it? 12 0 11 0 Tyler almost murdered a woman or the guy in broadcast like he he knew his shady split baseball

Oh fucking wrecked it. I heard I heard she the He was the hawk and she was the, uh, the little dog. Yes. Oh, very much so. He was running after someone to, to throw the kickball at her and she just fell into the fetal position. It's getting to the point now where it's like, I showed up and I was like, all right, you know, let's meet some girls and stuff.

I was like, all right. I was a team that had played before and they had a cute girl on their team. So I started going and talking to her. You're going talking to the group and then she came up to me and I worked my way over and then it's like, BUD! You're up to bat! And then I had to turn around and it's a social club. I was socializing and then we played and I got beat and she left and I was like, I don't want to be anywhere. Join kickball for the women. Well you're probably into playing against her, right? Hopefully. You know. We'llball for the women. Well, you're probably into playing against her, right? Uh, hopefully, you know, we'll see how that goes. But uh, it kicks and balls around.

It's just stuck. There's too many cooks in the kitchen. Like a lot of people trying to coach and nobody had fun. Coach, you're dating game or the actual. Lane, Lane, all right, go now, go ahead and just go leave. First base, third, third, back to first. So I's right. So, how did you hurt your ankle? I was just kicking that fucking ball. It's massive. It's like I go into it toe first instead of like I guess you're supposed to hit it with the side. Yeah, like soccer. Yeah, well I went into it like power kick. I just blew my fucking foot so now whenever I drive I'm like it's either flooring it or easing off the brake

What will you drive that? Go ahead change your shoes while you're driving You're doing it. It's hard. It's fair. You're having you guys doing the legal Why can't you change your shoes once you stop once you get where you're going? I think well, but it's like it's a Getting on stuff get moving you're talking to a guy who wants autonomous cars And I'm guessing so he can change his shoes and traffic. You can just take his shoes off. Yeah, yeah.

The robot car never complains about the smell. No, he doesn't. No, he doesn't. I think the passengers do. What's the dumbest thing you've done while driving? I'm the thing I'm talking about. Well, there's probably something sexual. Yeah, I was gonna say, let her and take that one.

Well, not let me take it. I just suggest it. I don't want to say it because I really expect me to say it gonna say let her and take that one. Not let me take it. I just suggest it. I do want to say because I would expect me to say it. So I'll just take that one. Well, yeah, I mean, you know, you get phone around in a car. It'll be easier when it's autonomous because then you won't have to shift and like, you know, why don't you even do shifting? What? Like I don't have a, I don't have an automatic. Whenever you. Yeah. Yeah. You have an automatic. Yes, I an automatic. Just whenever you're. Yeah. You have an automatic. Yes, I do.

I think I've told the store in the pockets before. The dumbest thing I ever did was I used to have a standard transmission, a little manual pickup truck. And a friend of mine came over to visit me from out of town. And we stayed up late. And then with the next morning we were going to go to Houston to visit another friend. And I woke up the next morning

It was really tires really hung over and asked my friend who was visiting like hey, can you drive a standard? I said oh, sorry, I can't so start driving from Austin to Houston and then partway down the road I'm like are you sure you can't drive a standard because I'm gonna fall asleep here He's like I can't as I'll tell you what once we get going on the highway once around 71 I'm just gonna close my eyes like I'll just keep my foot on the accelerator You just reach over and steer and it will be fine. He's like yeah sure, whatever I put my head down start sleeping God and then I think I should check on this and I open my eyes and I look at him and he's a Responsible one here

Oh, they're responsible one here. I'm doing my job. Who will you greet on? Of course, that only woke me up for like three minutes. And of course, I'm like, I'll really sleep you again. You're essentially a cement block on an accelerator pedals. What you were like. Yeah. Yeah.

Luckily, the hybrid was very straight at that stretch. I can't believe I'm not dead. There's almost no scenario where that story ends well. How'd you make it through that trip What did you stop and like take a rest or do you get some water like how do you make just drive all the way? I just yeah start slapping myself. Yeah, yeah, I pulled chest hair It wouldn't I have it pull chest hair. Oh, yeah, that wakes me right up. Yeah, you get a little strange little patches You know, no it's really tired. No, No, yeah, it hurts. Oh, wake up.

Yeah, no, I've done that actually. No sir, because you want to mount anyway, just turn the AC up all the way. So it's freezing and then you have to stay awake. My truck didn't have AC like no way. See no radio. No nothing. Just like a blanket. The air was like blankets.

Yeah. Um, so I'm going to go on a tangent here. You mentioned one of you mentioned plucking nose hairs. Yeah. I've got a guilty admission to make. I the other week I got a nose hair trimmer. Oh. Because I was like, you know, I got some nose hairs

that come out and they look kind of gross. It's like, all right, I'm going to be good about this. I'm going to trim my nose hairs. So I never used one before. So it's just like a little, looks like a little nub, or like a little circle. It's got like something worrying in it. And you like stick it in your nose and it trims the hair.

And I was like, I don't know, like how far you stick it or what's it like? I was like, I'll just, you stick it in as far as you can stick it, you stick it in your nose and it trims the hair. And I was like, I don't know, how far you stick it in, or what's it like? I was like, I'll just, you stick it in as far as you can stick it, right? So I was like, in there, like, working in nostrils. And then I was like, oh, wow, you know, all this hair came out, it looks good.

I was like, oh, now the hair's short and it's stabbing inside of my nostrils. So it was like, for the next week, I just kept squeezing my nose because it was just so uncomfortable, and it hurt, because it was like, all these tiny little coarse daggers stabbing me kept squeezing my nose because it was just so uncomfortable and it hurt because it was like all these tiny little coarse daggers stabbing me inside of my nose.

That could be dangerous showing that thing up your nose. I felt like total recall. You were like, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm hearing violins and stuff. You're like, what am I touching up there in my brain? Yeah. Yeah, I had a full set and it comes with like a nose trimmer,

a small trimmer and then a big trimmer And I use a small trimmer for like my neck and my face and then the big ones from my balls Obviously, you can't have them be the both the same one. I thought you were gonna say you stuck it up your butt Why? You know people have burrry buttholes and you get rid of the dingolars. You know you don't You're saying stick it up your butt. I mean just no hair in your head It's a lie in that region. There's hair. Right.

It does cling to poo. You're talking about dingleberries. Dingleberries. Do you take care of that? Yeah. I have my ass in the man who waxes his chest. I feel like the, the, the, the, the, the, the, what's a whole other, the whole other story. I've got a spread and then you got to, Are we getting into shaving waxing asses again?

Yes. Alright. How do you take care of it? What? You know? Not just the downstairs mixup. Well, I have different methods. There's the burning method.

You know, you know, carrying... Agent Orange. Yeah, Agent Orange. You know, I just go like... I don't even know what I'm going with here. But, you know, like, you know, basic trimming, but the thing is is I have two Electric razors that look exactly alike and so I'm always playing like once I guess it wouldn't be Russian left But you know, I'm like which one was it and there's only one way to tell which one it was and I yeah

And I'm not gonna do it so I just go I'll wait another week when it was and I yeah and I'm not going to do it so I just go I'll wait another week and I'm going to tell my one to a friend so I was like oh man I forgot to shave because and he's like oh I got an extra razor I was like oh cool cool and I'm like shaving it's like you know that's my ball race it's like rusted and covered in hair that's my special razor same thing is happened to me before. So when you, I mean, I'm curious, because I don't think I've ever talked to any good, any dude who takes care of his butt hair. Um, it doesn't get really itchy when it grows back in or you just like always maintain it

to the point where it never reaches that stage. No, it'll get itchy after certain point, but I prefer itchy than tangled. Hmm, because if you get see-at, see after you're like running especially like very active, you know like it all gets Yeah, yeah, it gets tangled it pulls and you don't know what the pool is from you're like what is that? Is that that STD? I like to care that no, but you feel this weird tug and you're like, blah Where is that and then you're like oh, yeah. I have to keep my belly churn because like, sometimes belly hair will get hooked on bell buckles.

And I'll just like, that is pain beyond blue. That one I can relate to, that happens to me. What colors your belly button went? Is it typically a, a, it's sort of a gray, sometimes a light blue. I just took a shower. I'm not even just just whatever, whatever, always-

Mine's always- Always dark blue. Yeah, you wear a lot of blue shirts. Yeah, mine's always gray or dark blue also. Like I feel like there's no variation. Like I'm wearing a red shirt right now, but there's never like a look. There's red limp. Be an experiment to wear only red shirts or a yellow shirt or something like that where it's like how did we get to this color here? Oh, I need to take a picture Patrick. One time I went as the Hulk for Halloween so I painted my entire body green I can't picture use the Hulk and for fucking Weeks probably months. I was finding green shit all over my body Even places I didn't apply it, but it was just like all up in my ears and my nose and

Just like belly button news is there for weeks That's that's the worst. I've never dressed up as the Hulk, but when we filmed the baby Gus short, you know, there's that scene where I had to be covered in mayonnaise. Is it really mayonnaise? Yeah, so I put mayonnaise all over myself and like I thought I did a really thorough job

of eating all the mayonnaise off. And then like, into that night I'm at home and I'm like, what is that? Like, as mayonnaise in my ear, like gross. You have tons of nooks and crannies that you just never see, like that cleaning behind your ears, shit. I mean, it's true, like,

when do you ever clean behind your ears? It's just not a place you touch. Even mine feels dirty right now, I just took a shower. It's funny how that works. Like the areas you concentrate on, like I think about, like when I'm in the shower like I don't know how I don't know how other people approach it like what's the order like you have to shampoo You have to condition and you have to like wash your body

But what is the appropriate order to do it? See I do that now when I was younger I used to Do body wash and then do the shampoo at the end for some reason huh, but I agree with you now I think you probably do that because it's bad. You, what do you shampoo for, no, you shampoo first and the bad. Never mind. But then like even once you get like, it's, it's time to wash your body. It's like, how do you start? Yeah. Do you start on an arm or the torso or like, are there? So I start like top, but are there people who start from their legs first?

No. I mean, it's dangerous watching your feet because you can slip. Yeah. So, and you get the soap dirty or the washcloth dirty from your feet. There's like certain areas that like, I mean, like dirty the washcloth. I would do, I would do, I can't use this.

I would always do feet last because if you're gonna like hurt yourself, at least you'll be clean. What? They find you like, slayed out and like, he's been dead for hours, but he smells great. Yeah. Myerspring. They find you like, it's like, he's been dead for hours, but he smells great. I think I fuck up because I shampoo, soap, soap, soap, soap, soap, soap, soap, and then I come back to my face with the bar that's been...

It's dirty, everywhere else. It's soap, though. The soap, soap cleaning. I'm sure no, we had this discussion when Dan used my bar of soap and I found a pub on it. I guess it's not if there's a pubs lingering on it But I mean is it does a bar of soap like contain, you know bad material germs and stuff I don't know it seems like even if there's a pub you should be able to like lather it up Yeah, you lather up the pub and you get rid of it. Yeah, you know, it's a life's great mystery

That's not cool. He should have he should have removed the pub He didn't care. Yeah, he didn't yeah, he told me if he'd maintained Yeah, he wouldn't even had it. Ah, it's a good point. Yeah So what's everybody doing this weekend? I don't know so you know, I started thinking about it You know today's obviously Memorial Day. Well whenever this is airing we're pre taping this it's early in the morning It's really early in the morning right now for us, but um, here's his face So it's Memorial Day and I feel like Memorial Day is like always the start of summer. It's like when kids start getting out of school and you know, it starts

getting really fucking hot. And it made me like start trying to wonder like think back about like road trips and like summer vacations I used to take with my family when I was younger, which at the time were awful and they're like looking back now, it's like, man, what the fuck? I remember one year, it was like right, I just got in my license and I was so excited. My family was like, we're gonna take a trip to Colorado. Like yeah, we're gonna drive there, okay.

You're gonna do all the driving. Oh, it was like, oh fuck. So it was like, and I grew up like way in South Texas. It was like a 20 hour drive nonstop. Like I'd never driven before, my family was like, all it was like and I grew up like way in South Texas like a 20 hour drive non stop Like I'd never driven before my family's like all right drive us there We're just gonna be hanging out in the car Fucking bro like yeah at first. You know it's it's fun to be driving and it's new and it's exciting and they like in the middle of the night No, no mom. What the fuck?

I'm a sucker Just like mom I'm gonna go sleep I'm gonna go sleep. I'm gonna go sleep. I'm gonna go sleep. I'm gonna go sleep. I'm gonna go sleep. I'm gonna go sleep. I'm gonna go sleep.

I'm gonna go sleep. I'm gonna go sleep. I'm gonna go sleep. I'm gonna go sleep. I'm gonna go sleep. I'm gonna go sleep. I'm gonna go sleep. I'm gonna go sleep.

I'm gonna go sleep. I'm gonna go sleep. I'm gonna go sleep. I'm gonna go sleep. I'm gonna go sleep. I'm gonna go sleep. I'm gonna go sleep. I'm gonna go sleep.

I'm gonna go sleep. I'm gonna go sleep. I'm gonna go sleep. get paid to drive. It seemed like a perfect store. Win-win. I was reading something about truck drivers, an article saying that they had a higher percentage of sociopaths and and murderers or something like that. Maybe I'm right. So she passed definitely, but I don't remember what the other thing was and it's like because it takes a certain You know weird mindset, you know that you you just wanna drive all the time and- Get away from your past. Yeah, get away.

Always be moving. And leave it all behind. Never put a roots down. One rest stop at a time. That song in there somewhere. Leaving a trail at the end, hook it in your wake. Big trouble, little time. It's gonna be a big trouble.

I'm sorry. Gus, you as long as I say. The sad part is I still wanna be a truck is I still I still want to be a trucker I'm still going to be a trucker, right? I think it's for me it's like not having to deal with anybody else like you're just in a truck and occasionally get out put gas in it. Well talk about things that'll be autonomous I mean truck driving will be one of the first I think they're already doing that in you know some Norwegian

country I think it was a Volvo developed the self-driving yeah a buddy mind was actually working for Volvo and Scania and he was doing all the tests on that and I mean he's like yeah it'll be within a decade yeah yeah I'd be a truck driver if I could just monitor the truck like if the robot cars were driving and I was just like the over-se. That'd be cool Because I hate driving. You just want to get paid to sit in the car. Yeah, I do that. Yeah, you don't like dry I hate driving. It's not driving technically Just sitting. It's been a big moving office Essentially going from 10

Like a desk Smoky in the bandit would be so boring if that were you know if autonomous trucks were in the city Initiating chase protocol. Yeah, chase protocol. Smokey is everywhere. Yeah. Yeah, whether they would be super boring, if also the cop cars were also automated. And they're having a high speed argument about whether or not you should pull over.

Bert Reynolds is just trans-am just reading the newspaper and he's like, I'll get back to it in a second. But I've read too that truck drivers, like have you ever been on the highway? I drive the Dallas a lot and I typically do it at night because it's clear traffic, there'll be a lot of truck drivers on. Here's like a truck driver like swirving. Like they have a lot of sleep deprivation.

That's like a big problem that plagues the trucking industry I guess. Well there are rules against that. You're supposed to have, it used to be where you're supposed to log your hours or whatever in books and, you know, they always fudge those books so they could drive longer, blah, blah, blah. Then it became a computer system that they tracked and stuff, so it's a lot harder to do that. And, but I think there's some, I don't know if it's state or federal law that you know that it's it's murky so you could drive for longer period and you could just drive for straight period and then you know not sleep and then you're

swarming all over it's rules for like taxi drivers and with the new bird drivers to um... i had a girl okay so i think it's i want to sell any brands down the down the toilet well let's just say that lift is better because they have rules on how long their drivers can drive for and then it cuts them off. But there's other companies that they don't do that

so they can drive for as long as they want to. And I had a friend who actually was in one of these cars and the drivers started peeing. Like there was so much efficiency that no, he had like some device that he started pissing into. No, no. No. No. I don't know.

It might like a maybe a cup or something. Was he just like, was it a device or a cup? Yeah. Totally different. I don't know. Because she was like really freaked out by it and just like grossed out. And she didn't want to pay attention obviously. And she was in the back seat.

So she immediately called her dad and was just like talking to her dad, looking at the scene. That makes it even weirder. But she would you either dead. Why is your dad? Well, this dad was just like talking to her dad looking at the scene. That makes it even weirder But would you why her dad while this guy is just like I wouldn't want to call my parents and be great the bag is like in the passenger seat And just filling up It's next to like one of those hamster containers with lemonade Will taste I could see calling father. It's like a security thing, right? one of those hamster containers with lemonade. I don't know how to help yourself to some lemon taste. We'll taste. I could see calling a father.

It's like a security thing, right? I guess, yeah, but to me, it's like, I don't want to call my end. Like, what is he, what is, I don't know what my dad would do. Like, dad, there's a man peeing. Well, she didn't do that. She wasn't going to be in this car with this guy, not in her destination. We like, this guy is peeing, dad.

Like, she was just calling like, hey, how's it going, Pat, Pat? You know, like, just talking to him. Pat, Pat. Is that what you call your dad? No, well, every now and then, to just mix things up. Pops, you know, daddy-o. Yeah, very good one.

Yeah. Classic. Just dad. Shout out to my daddy one teacher the year, by the way. Oh, it's good man. Congratulations. Yeah. To him, not to you. You didn't do

shit. You played a lot of game by a horrible score. You're only seeing me now. I'm always I'm always amused. Like you said pop pop or whatever. Like I'm always amused at the the nicknames people come up with for their parents and for their grandparents and what that distinction is. What's the one? There's one I really hate. Mima. Oh yeah. I cringe anytime I hear someone say that one. Yeah.

I've heard like FIFA really. Oh. I've heard I have this one friend growing up in elementary school. He had a weird name for every grandparent. And like I didn't understand and I didn't want to understand. It's just like FIFA, my mom, What do you call your parents? Well? Grandma I call them dead. I knew I Thought that but I once said that's a mix sense. I called him dead. Hey dead

Dead not dead. They're not Matter to but you don't call them dead You you ever call your grandpa or I imagine some people call their grandparents by their first names, right? Are there like some strange weirdos out there? Those people who call their parents by their first name, right? So it follows that that would happen as well? Well, I would think like I was actually thinking on this, there's a point where you cross

across the threshold where you start calling your parents their first name. I think they're divorced. No, or like maybe it's a step parent. I think it's typically a step or you don't respect them. That's when you're on your rebellious teen stages. Well, no, but I mean, like people get to a certain point where they're even, you know, their parents, even if they're not divorced or whatever, it's just like, yeah, that's Bill and that's, you know, Margaret. But plenty of people do that. And's like what is that what is that point that that happens and you know your mom mom mom You see call my mom mom. I don't call her

Yeah, I'm trying to do anything. Yeah, but do you well then why oh no? I when I introduce it to my friends I don't go friends. This is mom This is you know Joanne. I said this is my mom and then they'll call them Mrs. Gibson Yeah, but the thing is you know if I do that then they'll call them Mrs. Gibson. Yeah, but the thing is you know if I do that then they'll call her Mrs. Marquit and she's not Mrs. Marquit. And then it creates an uncomfortable situation like now Blaine. Sorry. Well no, we do this when you this explanation. That would be you. Yeah, now you know you go his his mom. Yeah, every so I have you know known Aaron for a while his every time I post anything on Facebook his mom will comment on it she'll be like oh very handsome but not as

handsome as Aaron no matter what you post it's like a picture of his dinner this is a great dinner but not as good as something Aaron with it. No it's like it's so there's that magazine article that we're in for social disorder and I posted it and I was like, okay, so you know, here we're in this article, you know, next article I'm hoping to get a sexy man of the year, like joking. And she was like, well, you're sexy, but not a sexy. I was like, what? I think this earth crystal much, he's even told me about this Independent of Aaron he's like, oh his mom just like back in and comments on everything

Yeah, she's just proud of her son. You're very sexy. Well, she's proud of me too. I'm not as proud Yeah, I mean my mom thinks I'm sexy and that's that's you know, that's nice. That's really hot The most awkward conversation ever on the podcast. You just talked about family vacations, are you going to do? No, I was going to say something else. Oh, well, we were talking about, I forgot your text by the way, we were talking about like introducing your parents as like their names. Yeah.

I would have a problem with that because with my father my father and I share the same name Oh, because I'm the third and he's junior so anytime I've never introduced him like that and if I did it would just cause more confusion be like oh, hey, this is my dad Gus What did he say his name was Gustavo? He goes by Gus. Oh, like I go by I almost go by Gustavo more frequently than he does Unless we're dealing with Spanish relatives in which case we're both Gustavo and it's just like just introduce him as junior Yeah, this is junior It was really confusing to me as a kid because um, you know, I always you know growing up I always saw on TV or films or whatever like junior was the child

So I thought I've got to be junior. And then, you know, my dad would always be like, no, you're the third. I'm junior, like, that doesn't make sense. Cause on TV, the kid is always junior, be like, no. I'm junior, you're the third. Well, you can say junior, junior technically, right? Isn't, can't that, you say that?

Yeah, that just rolls off the tongue here. I'm just trying to fulfill junior's dreams here. And you're fucking ruining it. Junior, junior, you're doing it. I think you can only do that if your name is Junior. But so I like my name. I've always been really happy with my name and I'm not going to have kids, but if I ever have to son, I would name him the fourth.

That being said, don't ever name your kid Junior or the third. Just stop that. It's an awful tradition. It causes nothing but confusion. There's also like cause like a not an identity crisis, but like, you know, for instance, there are plenty of actors and creators and stuff like that who are named after their, you know, father or some, you know, mother or something like that. Like, do you ever feel like I'm, you know, there's too much pressure there or something that, or do you think that would happen, where they would be like well

I'm trying to live up to a name or whatever you think there's an added bit. I don't know what not for me And maybe for some other people I never I never really felt about you. I'm talking about like the Robert Downey juniors Would you ever want if you had a kid would you ever want to name it a weird name just for funny sake? Yeah, my wife and I talked about this a lot. We come up with funny names. She definitely wants to name if we ever had a kid which we're not. She always wanted to name the kid something crazy, something really unusual just so that it stands out. I don't know if you know us, we're like giving our dogs strange names. people names or like old names. I mean my first dog Steve. Yeah, if we ever I think if we ever had a child dog we would give a kid.

We would give it like a weird name or something different. A dog's name. Yeah. This is Rex. The name we had we had settled on was Indy. That's cool. That's cool. Yeah.

Indy and a Jones. That's a metal. Indy. Indy October, Sirola. What? Indy Indy October is a male name not I and D. Why? No, I and D. I. Oh, I mean, that's a cool name. Yeah Yeah, maybe like a Pokemon character the way Indigo all the time. Yeah, our friend Zach, he's writing a book right now and we're assuming Aaron have been you know reading different chapters of it and he said that his dad wanted to name him Ben and his last name is Anner.

It sounds like so good. So Ben Anner. You met his dad you know exactly why. That was totally on purpose. It's got to be on purpose. Yeah. Oh yeah. His dad's just you know weird guy now there's some other strange names that I said he's gonna name two I can't remember what they are though it was after the movie a tron like oh yeah tron door yeah yeah that would have taken you to freak out when

home star runner made that tron door cartoon yeah so close you've probably would have taken you to freaked out when home star under made that trog door cartoon So close you probably would have adapted the song for his name. Yeah, Shrondore. It's almost named me Zane Zane I could I could see you being a Zane. No, Zane is cooler than Blaine. Fuck you Yeah, yeah, but Blaine Jesse Ventures guy in Predator's name. What's the name of the actor? Yeah, Billy Jane. No, but Zane Gray was a Western writer. I think a book writer. Oh, wow. That's real cool, Larry.

He's like a cowboy man. What cool blains do you know? Yeah, blaine. I'm blind. I've seen candles, right? He gets the girl at the end. His name's Blaine. What'd you say?

He's an asshole. He's an asshole. Can't confirm. Perfect. Perfect name is Blaine. What did you say? He's an asshole. He's an asshole. Can't confirm. Perfect name. It's all right, Zane. Don't worry about it. I'll talk to the tech department. We'll get a Zane receipt that comes set up for you. We can fill in the paperwork too to legally get your name changed. We'll just take care of that for it. It's like 400 bucks. Subtle is new. I'm gonna read this. Actually, there's not there's a few read. I want to remind everyone this episode of the podcast is brought to you by Spy the movie. There's no copy. So we just talk about it. It's

coming out this summer June 5th, which is really close. We got to go to the premiere party for this during South by Southwest and And I remember at the time that was back in March thinking that June seemed so far away To you know to to watch the movie and you know here we are already Movies got a must of a car. The Jason Statham roseburn Jude Law It was crazy because and I know at the I got to I got to see all of those people there in person and it's weird seeing Someone you've seen in so many movies. Staytham's like a old dog.

He's, you know, he almost looks like a boxer or something. Man. In like, he, actually interviewed him because we're doing the interviews for Spy and he was just slink his l2. Yeah, I had a love. And like Ashley just melted, you know. Like, okay, it's awesome. Do you have a man Ashley just melted, you know. You know, the guys awesome.

Did you have a man crush on it? Absolutely. I think I told the story on the podcast out there south by that. I wanted to go up and get his autograph, but he's like the one guy that I was kind of nervous about and he's like the professional, you know, but yeah, but I, I, I, unfortunately missed that movie when it came through by in south by, but I've heard nothing but awesome things about it. Yeah, I've seen lots of commercials for on TV and all of the reviews I've heard so far have been pretty positive.

And Bernie actually got a chance to see the premiere during Southby. And I think he's even tweeted a couple of things about it. Like when he sees people talking about it on social media, he's super excited about it. Everyone at Southby said it was funny. Yeah. Going here, I guess there was a little bit of copy. I'll read this. Spies, the funny action comedy, starring Melissa McCarthy, Jason Statham, Rose Byrne, and Jude Law from Paul,

how do you say it, Paul Fag? Paul Fag? I think, Fag. I think, Fag. I think, Fag. I heard Fag. The Fag, Paul Fag, the director of Bridesmaids and the heat. Susan Cooper, who's Melissa McCarthy, is an unassuming desk-bound CIA analyst and the unsung hero behind the agency's most dangerous missions. But when her partner, Jude Law, falls off the grid and another top agent, Jason Statham is compromised. She volunteers to go deep undercover to infiltrate the world of a

deadly arms dealer and prevent a global disaster. I remember never judge a spy by their cover. So it should be interesting. I feel like it's definitely a movie. I'll be checking out maybe not opening weekend because I'm scared of crowds. Surely there after once the crowds are a little less. I'll go watch it. But coming out June 5th for all you normal people. It's not like me. There's a bunch of spy movies coming out here soon. There's that one, but then they're coming out to New James Bond.

I think there's another big spy, a man from Uncle. That's a movie? Mm-hmm. It was a TV show, but it's coming out. Man from Uncle UNC, right? Yeah. The acronym or whatever it is. Spive movies are always cool.

If there's a side from Star Wars, if there's a universe I could live in, it would be a spy espionage. Zane Gibson is this spy. This should be, that should totally be your alternate alter ego name. Zane. Zane Gibson. When he gets killed in the first five minutes of the movie, just like exploded. He's a really asked. But he gets killed in the elevator. Yeah. Did you ever see, uh, was that executive decision? His Kurt Ruffalo, Steven Segal. Yeah. It's like,

uh, it's Steven's like, like, Steven Segal's on the movie poster, I think, and he dies in the first five minutes of the movie I saw that with my dad and he I remember watching it and he loves Steven's to go all and he's watching He's like, yeah, you get up in that going and then it goes You're gonna make it not me and then he goes flying out in the you know the sky or whatever And my dad was like Kurt Russell. I have to deal with Kurt Russell for however long Yeah, that was really fun.

We went through a Steven Segal phase in live action offices. Oh yeah. And we just, it got to the point where every time we would go up to each other, we would grab, he breaks arms in every movie. So we would go and go. We would go. We would watch a sizzle reel.

We would just break the people's bones. Like Steven's, he's mad. Did you see that Russia had that big commemoration a few weeks ago of the 70th anniversary of the end of World War II? And they invited a ton of diplomats to go, not very many showed up. But one of the people who showed up was Steven Segal. So there's all this weird footage of him like in the crowd watching this parade of tanks and like Russian power.

It's pretty cool. I bet you could break all those tanks. There's tanks at arms. I break them. I saw a picture of him behind, oh fuck. Oh. It's not... Putin?

What's this guy's name? It's about Russia. Vladimir Putin? Yeah. Okay, Putin. I don't know. I was like, oh fuck, you're gonna mix up with their world or two guy Who's the world we're two good in install?

Anyways, he was doing the rabbit ears behind Putin What what I saw a picture of him doing the rabbit ears behind really you fucking shot Jesus, I feel like Putin would not take kindly to that must be a fan I mean Putin is the kind of guy that just takes things to he like he'll threaten you and hope take things? Take your life use for spets nass What was the he's not fucking around? What's the thing with the he told he took that Super Bowl ring? I'm sure you guys are oh that's too. I love that story. Yeah, I mean you guys probably talked about it on here though Right, yeah, so we are who did he take it from was it? I think it was the

Who's the owner of the Patriots? Yeah, but it was the owner of the president or something like that of Was it the Patriots? It was the Patriots. When you win the Super Bowl, like it's not just the players in the coaches. It's like staff. I think everybody, staff. They get the Super Bowl ring and he was showing it to Putin and Putin was like, yes, I like this.

And he turns around, walks off and his men close in behind him and he just took the ring and he didn't give it back He just took the Super Bowl ring and there were something like 20 30 grand. I was super bowl There's a $25,000 ring. Yeah, he took it from the owner of the Patriots Robert Kraft in 2005 When he touched and Robert Kraft was in Russia when that happened. It's like what do you do? He's asking for it The terror craft was in Russia when that happened. It's like what do you do you do you ask for it At the time I will take three. Oh, I'm trying to see this Yeah, I mean the balls it takes to do something like that you just you don't care and it's like I didn't see all he has Say is I didn't steal your ring Question fucking Putin. Yeah, are you accusing me of being a thief right as soon as he says I didn't steal it

You say but you did and it's like those are very heavy accusations. I must cross you. Then you end up in the gulag. I did not take it anywhere. Thank you. You cannot prove anything. This is something different. I'm reading this off of CBS Sports.com.

So this seems like this would be a reputable site. When was this story published? This story was published June 15th, 2013. Yeah, I should just copy it. 2013. This happened back in 2005. So I'm going to read a little section out of this. Craft might have helped America dodge World War III because instead of going after the ring, craft let Putin keep it at the insistence of the White House. Yes, someone at the White House called craft and insisted he let Putin keep the ring. And here's a quote. It would really be in the best interest of US Soviet relations if you meant to give the

room to the White House. And then, the White House would have to be in the middle of the White House. And then, the White House would have to be in the middle of the White House. Yes, someone at the White House call Kraft and insisted he let Putin keep the ring. And here's a quote It would it would really be in the best interest of US Soviet relations if you meant to give the ring as a present Kraft said he was told on the White House call. Oh So basically Putin took his ring and then the White House is like you really should say that you Was present 25,000 dollar rings the Cold War tensions are still lingering, I guess. Yeah.

I felt like I thought that had come up in the news again recently and that the ring was being returned or something. Why would he return it now? There's absolutely no reason to return it now. He's tired of wearing it. He doesn't impress the Russians at all. His fingers just fatigue doing things like, I'll give it back. Oh, this moth is gross. This isn't my normal muff

Usually I trim my muff, but it's we need to replace this one. It's got like boogers on the It's really disgusting gross muff. Yeah, I guess it's quite talking about your muff on the phone Look at it. It's gross. See that kid put it up your face. That's a pretty nasty muff, man. I get it, I don't care. I don't know. I acknowledge your stupidness. The journal and I'm mature. I don't know if you know that.

That's what I'm known for in the podcast. Try my truck around, cross country killing hookers. We were talking about family vacations. I had this one where we went up to Oklahoma and it was like this big family gathering and like we had a big dinner and all this stuff and I was out playing with cousins And I go down the slide because they had this like big jungle gym set up

Got on the slide and I just instantly landed like this just giant puddle of mud I mean, it's like mud everywhere and I'm just like covered in it and Everyone's like scurrying away from me. They don't want to get really close to me and my mom's like We're gonna get you to take shower You're gonna change into your cousins clothes honey and so like that. Then, find out until later, the septic tank had erupted. Oh. And I was, could you not smell it? I guess not, because I was just like,

Oh, come on! This is a charting shit. That's our zane. Yeah. Little zane, shitty zane. Oh god. That's fucking awful, man. And then the rest of the day, my cousins were calling me,

well, they meant to call me feces boy, but they didn't, they couldn't pronounce feces, they called it fetuses. Why would feces be the first word they go to? I didn't know what, I thought feces till I was like 13. Because I think they're trying to like refer to it in a mature, that they overheard, they've got some goals referred to it in a mature manner. You know, they weren't gonna be like blinges laying in a bunch of shit They're like he's covered in feces dump boy or something. Yeah, yeah, wow

There's I was my family. I've never fallen into an over flown sip over What an exploded septic tank, but a ruptured septic tank, but I You know, I have a lot of family that live in Mexico and I'm sure it's septic tank, but I have a lot of family that live in Mexico and one time I was visiting my great grandmother and to this day I still don't understand what the point of this is, but in her backyard, in a lot of the backyards in this town, there's like a little drainage ditch, they called it a sequia, and I don't know if people like if their house water run off went into there or what but there was always like water in it like crawfish and stuff like that and I thought it was cool like it's like like when you're a little kid, you don't understand. I was probably like

Nine I was like it's cool that my great grandmother has a river running in her backyard And you know it probably was like as wide as this coffee table, you know two feet maybe and my sister and I like to jump over it back and forth. And at one point, my sister didn't make the jump as she fell in. And I was laughing at her. But then she was crying, then I felt bad. So then I was like, oh, I fell into.

Like, did that whole thing? Then went inside. And my great grandmother started yelling at us. Like, what the hell's wrong with you? Like, get out of your clothes and she made us coffee. So then this was the greatest day ever. So it's like, oh, I's wrong with you? Like get out of your clothes and she made us coffee. So then this was like the greatest day ever. So it's like, oh, I got to be in the river. And now like I'm drinking a cup of coffee,

my parents were out like shopping or something. And then my parents come back in and my mom sees me like, naked with like a blanket around me in the kitchen, drinking a cup of coffee. She's like, what are you doing? Like, oh, I fell in, you know, the second. She's like, you what? Like, like she like went pale, like just thinking about

like all the disease I was probably, okay, she's like, you what? Like, she like, when pale, like, just thinking about like all the disease, I was probably rolling around in. It's a ringes like sticking at your back. Rio Gustavo! Oh! It's funny, like, you know, so I can sympathize with, you know, rolling around in, yeah, in something dirty and just not making that connection or not thinking about it. Yeah. I think it's not. We were in in LA this past weekend so we went to the beach.

We're sitting there on the beach and we're like oh my god. We saw that there's a baby seal that swam up to the beach and we're like oh my god there's a seal like coming right up to the beach and it's like seals like know, we see its head coming and like, oh, you know, children start running to it. It's like, oh my God, the seal is so friendly. And like, oh, this is amazing. So we're like, we can't go check out the seal. We walk it, it's a dead seal.

We're running in the water on the kids start crying. Its eyes were like roll the bag with ten. And it's like, oh my God. And it was rolling around in the tide for a little while. And people, yeah, we'd wash back and then it would come back and people would run out and get in the boat. Oh my God, it's seal. But eventually it rolled back into the water and it starts going down the beach.

And we were just like watching it go down the water and saying the little thing. And anyway, I was like, man, someone's going to swim up to it and like be freaked out. Then we see this guy going out and charging. He was sitting with his girlfriend on this beach towel and he starts walking into the water and he swims to the seal and we're like, what in the hell is he doing? He grabs the seal by the tail

and drags it up onto the beach to his girlfriend and puts it down on the sand. And the seal is like, I mean, it's huge. It's bigger than this cove table, obviously. And the girlfriend's like, what the hell? And then more people start Gathering around it and the guy is just sitting sitting back on the blanket with his girlfriend I got I got this for you babe. Oh man it was awful. Why would he do that? I don't know

I don't know why he did it. I think that he was showing the lifeguard. He was like hey you need to get rid of this seal or whatever But he could have just let it drift you know back out of the garbage the garbage of the old yeah And the I mean we saw the lifeguard lifeguard look down was just like I don't fucking know what to do Like it's like that's not a person. I can't save it. It's already dead Like I can't do anything with this. What are the so I always get them confused Like I know there's seals and there's sea lions and like one of them is like the small cute one that I would think about yeah, but I'm yeah, so hold on They're like the tusks. Oh, oh one of them's what it was like the small cute one that everyone thinks about and the other one's like

Kind of like a bigger grocer one. This one was cute For that thing sometimes it has dimples and it sings Seal Joe I can't compare you to a kiss from a seal joke. I dare. Fuck me, right? Give me a beer. Oh, please. So, whatever the big gross one is, one time when I was in Puerto Rico, I was, I was

sending myself on the beach and like the beach kind of sloped up and I was like up at the top, like looking down and it was a super empty beach. I was the only one out there and then like this this truck pulls up and these two dudes get out And they go into the water. I'm like, okay Two dudes just hanging out in the water and then I could see like a shadow in the water by them And I'm like, what is that? And it's whatever the gross one is like a sea lion or seal like the big one and I'm like, oh, it's You know, it's one of those. It's like it it's literally right there, like for the distance from me to Chris. And like, oh, they don't see it, they don't see it at all. And then it comes up out of the water. And then they both just start screaming

out of the water. I don't think it will kill you, I believe. I mean, they'll, they'll get you. That big in the water can kill you. Not but a blue whale won't kill you. It could. By accident. Yeah, it may not be trying't kill you. It could. By accident? Yeah, it may not be trying to kill you, but if it like, you know, it decides to go flop up in the air or something. I don't know, it lands on you.

A sea lion will attack you. A blue whale won't attack you. It won't be like, I'm gonna go after him. I'm gonna go, you know, I'm really gonna kill you. You know, a sea lion is like, ah, yeah. Yeah, it's a difference.

It's weird that, it's weird to think that most of the earth is covered in water, and that's not like our native environment. We get in water, just about anything can fuck us up. Yeah, and we've got about two minutes to live, too. Right, you go under swimming ability. That's it. Even those little things that swim your whole we be oh in the rivers yeah in South America yeah it's a that's a urban legend no no that's really real I swear to God I thought I read that was an urban legend I mean just from what I

remember when I'm making up right now my head it's not an urban legend at all I don't think I think it's real we don't have any way to prove that we just cling on to your man parts that that would be terrifying you ever had a leach on you oh I don't know I don't think so anybody a couple times yeah at a secret beach oh yeah secret beach you came out of the water I was like Chris look guys you know on your face now I was on your I don't know it's like you know somewhere to where you're like, look guys, you're on your face. No, I was on your, I don't know, it was like, you know, somewhere where you're like, oh, what is that? And you're like, oh, Jesus. Yeah, that's pretty, and that was moving water too.

I didn't understand that. Like it was in a river that was flowing, and then he's, you know, covering leeches. I've had leeches, also from a river as well. So, I thought they were in stagnant water though. I thought they were in like ponds. I never thought about that until he brought it up right now, but yeah, that's what I, I guess that's what I water though. I thought they were in like ponds. I never thought about that and really brought it up right now, but yeah, that's what I guess that's what I thought too. I just never put two and two together.

That's what I've learned from movies. Like I learned, you know, sea lines attack, you know, things from up your peephole. Yeah, things from up your peephole and leeches are in stagnant water. Yeah, it's weird because I've had leeches on me a couple of times and I feel like you would think that it would hurt But you know, you don't realize that it's on you and then I don't know if what your experience was But taking it off like doesn't hurt at all. It's just like oh, it's just like taking a piece of tape off Yeah, your body like it. What's like a mosquito or something is do? Well, I guess that kind of like is annoying. No, and a lot of times you don't even notice that Yeah, but a mosquito afterwards like the bite itches. Oh, yeah, I think I could have sworn I've seen in movies that they say like you have to burn a leach off or something

Yeah, but what I remember from the lighter up to a screw cruise control You didn't have to burn them off, but I could be wrong. I hadn't seen that movie a long time. Mm-hmm. It's great movie Yeah, it's great speed ones better. I finally saw John Wick the other day. Oh, I hadn't seen it in forever It's it's good. It's good. It's just like action movie, you know, no real depth to it, but it's a cool universe that they built for that. Are they making a second one? Yeah, I think that's why I finally decided to watch it. I saw they'd greenlit the second one. It was like, okay, it must be. It must be an okay movie then. Yeah, I'm sure it's pretty entertaining. I think it was a South by or something

when you're, or maybe I'm wrong about that, but I've heard good things. I was gonna go I had a a ticket into a John Wick screening at Alamo for free. They're like inviting like press and just people and I think I showed up just ever so late to where they wouldn't let me in and that was like the closest I ever got to being like a diva in a movie theater Because I had driven all that way through traffic and the guy was being such a prick. And you know who I am. I didn't fully think like that but I was just like listen you know I have a seat reserved in there for me and the guy was just not playing ball. I'm saying Gibson this is my

friend Gustavo Jr. Jr. When was like, have you ever freaked out at a cash register person or have you ever had like such a bad customer service experience where you just lost your shit? I think if I did, it would have been when I was like a teenager or something, because eventually once I had a service industry job I realized wow people just have bad days and you end up like sometimes it's things people can't control and you know you start yelling at them and it's there's no fucking point to do it. It's your perspective once you actually. Yeah. Did you have one? Oh no but I do remember this guy coming in when I was working for a luggage company and he just

right off the bat. Brown and suitcase and was like, unfortunately, I can't return this item because we don't care in the store. Some policy thing and I was like, I'm going to get you this number and I'm going to make sure I push you up on the list so that you can get customer service immediately because I know this is a hassle for you, being as respectful and kind as I could and immediately he just started screaming at me. And then he started getting to the point where he started screaming at other customers in the store to get out because I was such a bad customer service rep. So like, I couldn't yell at him

back because that would be bad on my part. So I just started doing the killing with kindness and was like, smiling non-sub like, thank you for your concern. Just like, went to robot mode and then like, I got the whole thing worked out and I made some phone calls. And then he ended up, I can't enter the phone. I was like, here's our customer service line. They could assist you now. And he talked to them, he's like, fuck it., I candid to the phone, I was like, here's our customer service line. They could assist you now, and he talked to them, he's like, fuck it, okay! Throws the phone at me, and I was like,

you have a great day, sir. Thank you, come and get, you know, just like, this guy's such a fucking asshole. I was like 19. I mean, I've had to deal with it. He was 19 or you were 19. I was 19, he was like 50. He was a grown man, should've known better.

People immediately, I was reading something about this recently, because I mean, I was dealing with my cable provider or whatever and the immediate, you know, thing that people do when they call customer service of course is like, I'm calling about, blah, blah, blah, blah and it's immediately negative, right? And the person on the other end just turns off, right? They just, okay, this is what I'm dealing with, I deal with it every day in and out, and I'm just gonna go through the spill. But if you're nice and you're not,

realize it's not their fault necessarily. You know, it's whatever the company's fault usually. You know, you're just nice to them, then they'll give you all sorts of things and they'll work with you and stuff like that. And, I mean, I totally understand that as far as like a customer service thing, because all you do is deal with shit heads

I used to work in insurance when I was a kid and You know six oh You're Motify me. Joey. Joanna. Joanna got you started early It's pretty good. Yeah I was uh, no, it was 19 I believe and like people like, people were always, always mean when they called up, you know, or, you know, they had a problem with their policy or whatever, stuff like that. And uh, what?

It's imagining an air in teenager. It's like, listen, asshole. I want to take your shit. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. But like, you know, the nice ones, I was like, I will do whatever, you know, whatever you need. You want some more life insurance, I'll get it to you for free. You know, that's something like that.

It made a difference. I should give discounts to people who were just like, they would just play ball, they'd cooperate. In fact, like I got, we got a haircut, and I have my name on the list, and then there's something, some sort of mix up, and then I ended up going last. But I mean, I was fine.

I was just like written comic books there, and you're like, do you want a free shampoo? Like, you know, when you're nice about it, and you acknowledge that there's an issue, but you're just like, it's whatever. And they're like, I'm giving you some free shit. It definitely works a lot better. You know, I used to work at that call center doing tech support and lots of times, you know,

you get a lot of calls when there's an outage. Yeah. And if you will call like, this was back, you know, when it was all dial up internet, you call like, oh, you know, I can't believe the internet's down. How long is it going to be down? Like, I don't know. It says, hey, how much screen it's going to be down for two hours. And they're like, I want to refund for the't believe the internet's down. How long is it gonna be down? Like, I don't know, it says here, oh my screen's gonna be down for two hours. And they're like, I want to refund for the amount of time it's down.

I'm like, okay, well, you're paying 1995 a month for internet, that's, you know, 66 cents a day, divided by 24 hours. You're paying about two and a half cents an hour. So yeah, where do you want us to mail you five cent check to? You're like, oh, yeah, I never mind. I don't know what that means. It's like when you really break it down to like, what do you actually pay for?

What are you actually getting? It's like, oh, yeah, you're right. This is actually really cool. I want my nickel. I want it. Can you? So yeah, the postage would cost more. The gas you would spend going to the bank to give them the check would cost more than

the fucking nickel. Have you ever, speaking of gas, just make me think about something. Have you ever run out of gas while you're driving somewhere? Tons of times. Tons? Yeah. One time I was driving my crown Victoria, it was the police car I had, or had.

Adam and I, my friend Adam and I were driving up to go get a pizza. We're driving up MLK going west. You know how it's really hilly when you're going towards campus or whatever? I knew I was low on gas, but we were talking or whatever below, while I was going to get pizza,

and I just ran out of gas in the middle of the road. But the thing was, it looked like an unmarked cop car. So I left it in the middle of the two lanes. Like, I mean, in the middle of traffic, this is 430 or 5 in the afternoon. And he and I just walked to get our pizza, and while we were getting our pizza, I was like, I guess I'll go buy a gas can I bought a gas can filling up meanwhile

we can see down the hill and cars are like backed up to 35 like going around it and I don't remember if I put my hazards on or not but it was just down there like man that really looks a cop car passed me didn't even you know I thought passing didn't do anything and then once you know we got the gas in the, we just walked back down to the car and loaded up, and we're like, all right, let's get out of here. I parked in the middle of a roadway for 20 minutes. Jesus. During rush hour.

During rush hour. The car was just backed up, they didn't know. They were like, I guess this is important. What I mean is. Yes, so I have many times. I've not, have you? Once at the airport, and it was actually Jeff's fault, Jeff Ramsey, who was back when we first started Rooster Teeth, they went somewhere, Bernie and Jeff both flew out somewhere, and

I was still in Austin, and they were coming back and I had to go pick them up. And it's back when I was living with Jeff, so I was like, yeah, I'll pick you up, and I just took Jeff's truck, because mine was broken, because mine was always broken back then. And so like I started Jeff's truck, and at the time I lived on Rivers yeah, I'll pick you up and I just took Jeff's truck because mine was broken because mine was always broken back then and So like I start Jeff's truck and he at the time I lived on Riverside pretty close to the airport and I drive out there and like as I'm pulling into the airport like it just like What the fuck and then so like I co-stoff to the side of the road like I got like Three quarters of a tank of gas and like tap tap tap like three quarters of a tank of gas and like tap tap tap. And it goes, ooh.

Oh my god, that's a cover. And then of course, like it's the whole thing. We're like, since you're on the airport, like the cops come out and like what are you doing? What's going on? Like I'm just out of gas. So like I'm trying, so then I have to convince them to give me a ride to the gas station down the road.

So I could buy gas and it was just a whole fucking ordeal. Then that went, since it was an old truck with a carburetor, the carburetor had dried out. So when we put gas in the tank, it wouldn't start. So now I had to siphon some back out to then pull out of the carburetor. It was like, oh my god, yeah, the cop was just like fed up.

He's like, I'm just gonna help you push it into the parking lot. You pull the ticket and then you do whatever you need to do to get it out of here. It's just huge pain. And of course, Bernie and Jeff are like, oh, that sucks. All right, we take her hybrid.

She's like, yeah, it's, you know, no reason that you need to burn all your gas. Like we can take my cards, wave more fuel efficient, so like, all right, whatever. So I drove us out there, she goes and runs a race and I park somewhere, away from all the race so I can get out of the traffic and just start reading a book. So she texted me to like, all right, I'm ready to go.

I'm like, okay, great. Start a cart. The fucking like, okay, great. Start a car. The fucking hybrid's battery had died. It was your, it's the same model of the car that you have. I think I actually texted you. You did text me how it started. What the fuck do I do? And you didn't respond to like, thanks, guys.

I was just sitting there. I was probably parked a good two miles away. This poor thing had to go from running a half marathon and walk all the way to like the ghetto part of San Antonio where I was parked Getting the car to get fixed and we ended up having to jump it. I was so fucking mad This is like it's like a A battery operated car and the battery dies. It's like maybe that happened I know but it gave me no warnings or anything and it's just like you just died. I think battery cars are cool though. Yeah, here it is

There's a Sunday at 9.23 a. died. I think battery cars are cool though. Yeah, here it is. There was a Sunday at 9.23 AM. I think I was still asleep. How do I start a Prius? The power button isn't doing shit. Then at 11.04 AM, never mind figured it out. So then the next text I sent to you, I don't even know why, is like 12 days later, I just say, hey, hello, question mark? Oh yeah, we were playing Halify beta.

Oh, okay, that's right, and then you didn't reply, and then the next Texas RMU isn't until February. Wow, really extensive conversation. Yeah, we talk a lot, so. You know what I mean? I once talked about a friend to the airport, I once, you know, my friend was like, hey, can you take me to airport, I'm going to New for a week or two. And I was like, yeah, sure. I drove him to the airport, dropped him off. And then I get, but as soon as I pull back home, he calls me, he's like, hey, can you pick me up from the airport? I was

like, what happened? You miss your flight? Or he's like, no, no, not exactly. I was like, what do you mean? It's like, my flight's not today. I was like, well, when is it? Like, next month? Oh my God. He had had the wrong he had the right day, but the wrong month for his vacation And he didn't realize it was in his vacation. There was this one time. I was in breaking it I was in the Seattle airport and I think we're flying back from a packs and I think it was someone was there was someone I might have been Jeff and I were there at the airport and we're taking the red eye back from Seattle So it's like 9 p.m. or something and we're waiting to get on we're checking into our flight and there's like a group of like six like Kind of douchey frat dudes who are also like checking in for a flight

they're not checking the same flight but you can do some other flight and Like one of them's like taking the lead you can tell like he's the guy who organized everything and he's trying to help everyone get checked in. Yeah, yeah. And so he's up there and like the person by the counter is like typing like crazy. And I don't know what's going on. Type, type, type.

It's like let me look at your reservation, sir. Type, type, type. She's like, oh, your flights were yesterday. Oh. Oh. And then one of the other dudes like takes his backwards baseball cap and he's like what the fuck You He's like we missed our flight and he's just like screaming at his friend

I like the little detail his backward baseball You did He's smushed it up and they got it in one hand and just slammed it on the ground He's like you smushed it up and they got it one hand and just slammed it on the ground Man Chris and I were when we're flying back from LA on Sunday not to keep going on airports of both Story so like half of this podcast. I know but we we come back from LA And it's we can't Chris and Josh flan again. We came from the beach. We come straight from the beach We almost each their fly because we we were at the beach. Yeah, we're the dead seal. Yeah. And I'm like wearing a, we're all wearing swimsuits. We're wet and covered in sand still to be clear. Anyway, Chris is up ahead of us in line

because Josh and I had, you know, had been doing, you know, a little late. So he's up ahead and we see him give his ID to the, to the TSA agent. And immediately she looks at it and this like little red thing flashes and she's like, we got go to the side here, we gotta go to a different area. And Josh and I start laughing our asses off, as he gets flagged for whatever additional screening. And so we're getting our way through line, Josh and I, and we look over at Chris and he's getting the full work over as far as like the digging through his bag and all this stuff, far off. And we can't hear them or anything. We see the TSA agent, the TSA agent,

said something to Chris, Chris kind of looks at him like that and does this to the table. He goes. He goes. And the TSA agent goes, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, turn around, put a mouth like that. And Josh and I are laughing our asses off. We're laughing so hard. And Chris is I are laughing, our asses off. We're laughing so hard.

And Chris is seeing us, you know, far off. And he's like, you know, shaking his head like that. And other people around us are laughing. And so I get up to the little scanner machine, and I go through the scanner. And I'm still looking at Chris and Lavon, because he's still getting, you know, search and stuff. And I get out of the scanner, and I'm looking at him,

and this guy runs this little thing across me and it goes and I'm still laughing because Sarah we need to go to the side of him like what's going on he's like uh bring yourself over here so he runs this like little pad uh over me and puts it in this machine and it brings up like some you know red and dealer whatever's like I'm gonna have to swab your entire bag and I look over at Chris he's like 10 feet from me getting surgery all of his stuff. And we're still wet, we're covering sand. And so he, you know, he starts going across my hands. He's like, what is this material on your hands? I'm like, it's sand. I came from the beach straight here. He's like, did you do anything else at the beach besides swim and like play with that seal. Yeah. I guess I was playing with the

seals. And so he runs through the machine again. He's like, sir, we're going to have to go to a private room. Oh, God. Okay. I'm like, what? And Chris looks at me. He's like, yeah. And so I get led past Chris into this room. And I hear Josh laughing outside the room. Chris laughing. And we're like, cause he's seen because we're all together. And we all look like bombs. And so I'm in this little room and I didn't tell you this but whenever TSA like really gives you the pat down they call it out and you know whatever they're doing and it doesn't like it doesn't help the situation and all he's like sir I'm going to turn my palms around and run it down your chest like this and it goes like that and like okay that was so bad and he's

like sir I'm going to take my hand like this and run it between your goes like that and I'm like, okay, that wasn't so bad. And he's like, sir, I'm going to take my hand like this and run it between your legs like that. And he starts, you know, doing this stuff and I'm like, well, he's like, you know, credit or debit, man. And he just, he does all this stuff and he's like, okay, you and your friend were at the beach and I was like, yes, we're at the beach, he's like, okay, you can go. I'm like, fuck me and I walk out and Chris was just getting,

you know, un-sourced, I guess, but it was, yeah. I mean, we were wearing swimming trunks. What are you gonna do? And sandals, like, where are you gonna hide anything? Also, look at that face. I know, what is he gonna do? Look at this punum here. Just, that's, that's, I know a sexier face though.

Oh yeah, lips face. Boom. Oh, there we go. All back. Joe, I'll call you you Joe and from now on To our mom or whatever you want Just don't call me junior junior. We're talking about late and showing up tardy or you know miss schedules and stuff like that I got invited to a surprise party

For some girls friends and I didn't know who they were so like whatever you know just give them the time and I start driving over, I show up, House looks kind of dark, I start walking up to it and about the knock on the door and I'm like, hey, where are you like, no one seems to be here and she's like, the party's not till next week and I was like, in the middle of the CR, I was like, fuck me, fuck me.

And then I like got back to my car. Maybe you're in the kitchen of the house and it was like, where's the party man? I didn't realize, I could have ruined this guy's surprise birthday party. Like for a party you feel like normally you just walk in right there's no need to knock. I could have you just tried to go in and gotten in there. Hey, where is the surprise? Zane here, ready to party.

What have been a surprise? I already drank all the beer in the fridge. Oh here let me never eat this. One of my never one this episode of the podcast is also brought to you by trunkunk Club. When it comes to clothing, men all over the world agree on two simple facts. One, when you look great, you feel even better. And two, the time it takes to actually shop for, find, and buy those great looking clothes absolutely sucks. Trunk Club gets it, and that's why they've taken the pain out of finding great looking clothes by shipping you a trunk of clothes that fit perfectly and make you look amazing.

At trunkclub.com slash rooster teeth, you answer a few simple questions about your look, style and size, your sign and expert who will hand-pick clothes that are just right for you. After getting to know you and your preferences, your stylist will email you their recommendations, curated from only the best premium brands. You prove what you like and boom, a trunk full of great clothes hand-pick for you, arrive at your door. Try them on, keep what you want, send back what you don't in their prepaid trunk, and that's

it. Trunk club is the easiest way to refresh your wardrobe this spring. Your stylists, the shopping, the trunk, even the shipping are all 100% free when you go to trunkclub.com slash rooster teeth. Looking great as important, trunk club has made it easy. Only pay for the clothes to keep, no one going subscription, no hidden charges, just great clothes handpicked for you. You're gonna thank me on this and right now It's completely free so go get started at trunk club comm slash rooster teeth. That's trunk club comm slash rooster

Jesus, I got this shirt from trunk club. You know who can have their clothes, you know selected for them Sarah Markey what why and how's the camera already on me when you're dressed like a normal person today But we should get your subscription Get you some stuff. What do you mean a normal person? What am I usually dressed like an asshole? He got like cowboy boots Yeah, yeah, how would you know what's wrong? Cowboy boots. Yeah, you just he just I gotta get these resold damn What no, I'm a great you buy shirts with like fucking tractors on You buy shirts with like fucking tractors on it. I'm wearing shorts right now.

I'm wearing the trunk. You just cut all your clothing up. Is what you do. You cut the sleeves off, you cut the bottoms off. Yeah, I was wearing a shirt that fits this week. Yeah, it does fit. No. I know.

When they were talking about getting uniforms for the kickball thing, you're like, just so that you know, I have to cut my sleeves off. Yeah, it's part of it. By the way, in that kickball group photo, do you have to be that dude who's like flexing and showing it off in the back? Like it's a great group photo everyone's just like there. And you're just like trying to be like a donness

in the back. You look like a girl off camera and is like, hey, everyone else is having a good time. And you're just, No one else seems to be having a good time. Tom, maybe. Brandon strangely looks like he's having a good good. I was like posing for another camera

Yeah, you're not even looking in the right direction I like to point out Cole you can't see him, but he had the smallest shortest shorts on like it looks like he was just wearing I've heard a long short. Cole looks like he'd shank you in prison. Yeah I have that kind of look that that hard look. He's crazy. Good job Cole prison. Yeah, I have that kind of look that that hard look. He's crazy. Good job, Cole. Yeah. Look at the thumbs up from Cole in the in the control. We've got like seven more fucking games. Oh Christ. Think about the girls you're gonna meet. They're no like not if my team's like kick the ball. They're all serious about it. Kick the ball at kick ball. Well, I just want to put you know hang out and have a couple drinks and you're right out of feet to break eventually. Yeah, it's true. Yeah. I feel I so I don't know if you heard

but like three weeks ago maybe four weeks ago now. I got a haircut and after the haircut like I fell down some stairs like an idiot. Because I I sprained my ankle and it still hasn't healed so I'm starting to think I may have broken something in my foot because it still hurts like, like I'm still limping. Like your stomach's broken. It fucking hurts. Like even to the touch, like if I touch it,

like if someone were to step on my foot, I'd probably cry. Which, which ankle? I'm not gonna tell you. Okay, I'm not gonna tell you. But yeah, so I don't know, I gotta make a doctor's appointment, go to the doctor.

Even if you break a bone in your foot, there's nothing they can do, right? No, I mean ankle, they, I mean, if something... It's not my ankle, it's like, it's like the top of the book. Yeah, they give you a boot, so it doesn't twist. Or depending, they give you a special cast. I tore a ligament once, and I was in a boot for a while. But they'll probably put you in crutches because they're gonna Way off that foot. Yeah, yeah, crutches fucking blow. Where does the haircut come into play in that story? Yeah, I don't know because I'm getting a haircut and after the haircut

I was texting my wife like I'm done with my haircut and I was walking down some stairs and I wasn't paying attention to the stairs and I fell down The you couldn't you could have said I was walking down some stairs and I'm Because I prefer seeing it for people who listen to the podcast remember my haircut Oh, I remember talking about it. You guys prefer seeing it for people who listen to the podcast. Remember my haircut? I remember talking about it. You guys obviously don't know shit. Or listen to the podcast. Or listen to the podcast.

You just show up for it. Late, actually. There's this funny quote from Zach. This is the first newspaper article he ever did, or whatever interview. And it was about like showing up for stuff. And they're like, you know, what is your creative process? You know when you when you do things when we're filming stuff he goes I just show up and do shit and they either use it or they don't

And he was joking but that was the quote they Really? I show up and do shit and they either use it or they don't The groundbreaking classy Interviews are such a weird thing Uh, to me. It's like Sometimes you get someone who Really understands and knows what they're asking about and other times you get people just like No idea like and those are the most frustrating ones that people haven't done any research and

They're learning as they ask the question Yeah, it's really that it really becomes a Almost like a game where you're just like yeah, just tell Okay, yeah, what direction can I take this this interview in? I just like in interviews when they take like small blurbs like Zach's out of context and just like Focus on that like when I was talking about the Disney Princess thing Some fucking reporter set through and watch the entire podcast where we talked about that and from all that shit They got one quote Cinderella was kind of a bitch Biggest dick in the world.

God damn. It's definitely not your flexing kickball post. It makes you look like the biggest dick in the world. No. You know who's a bitch Cinderella? Zing Gibson. Zing Gibson. See, you're going up to it.

You're starting to like it. No, it's fucking stupid. It's a great name, Zane. Oh, Jesus. This is the new Blaineed it. Everyone just come call me Zane. No, it's fucking stupid. It's a great name, Zane. Jesus, this is the new Blaine Det, everyone just can call me Zane. No, there's nothing over place, Blaine Det. This is, yeah.

Unless it's Zane Det, and we have to change it. Yeah. The possibilities are endless. Yeah. What do you think of this banana bread beer? It's good. So I want to, I should point out that someone from the community sent this to us.

Someone named Ethan. Santa's a little poor pack of this. we we killed it now, but it's a Welles banana bread beer It's really good. Yeah, I don't like banana bread. What you what you crazy? I don't like bananas. I don't like bananas. I love hot dog. I like the show. I'm a bit exhausted. I'm not bananas. I don't think you need a banana.

I don't. I don't. Bananas just taste weird. They're like, it's like poo texture. What? Yeah. It's like a little too sweet without being like a good kind of sweet. I like bananas.

But this is really good. And I love that their logo is like a banana being peeled with like a pint of beer coming out from it. I asked for a Korean. It could just be banana beer though. The bread is like, no, I can't. Because it would be like a nutty hint to it. Yeah.

Like there's nuts in banana bread. Did you ever go on any family vacations, Chris? Like really? Did you ever? Never. I mean, I did. Yeah, I did. I mean, I didn't, but I didn't, but I mean,

I mean, I went to like Florida. I went to Disney World and, you know, et cetera. I never, so you wanted to talk about family vacations. I remember we were talking about it. And it's like, I thought about it. I never went on a family vacation. Really?

Well, here's the thing. We're talking about my parents, the lovely Joanne and Brian. But they were always like, you know, when I was a kid, it wasn't like they didn't have the best relationship. So it'd always be like, on the up point of it, they'd be like, okay, in May or June, we're going on that family, we're going Florida, and it was usually Florida.

I was like, okay, cool, blah, blah, blah, that's great. I'd be looking forward to it and looking forward to it, and then whatever parent problems would happen to stuff, and my dad would come in and be like, earn my mom would come in and be like, Aaron, I said we're going to go to Florida, but someone came up and I'd be like, what came up? And she's like, your dad is lying cheating back to you. I'd be like, oh, okay. Well, that's, all right, that's unfortunate. And then my dad would come in and be like, I'm sorry I had to hear that, Aaron. That was awful. I need to be honest with you, because you're, you know, you're a man now, you're, you know, a big boy, and you tell you the truth.

The reason we're not going to Florida, is your mom's a whore. I guess we're not going to fucking beach this year, are we? And it's like, that's what it always was. And it's like, we never went out of family vacation. That's the worst ever. I'm going to get out there.

Yeah, it's like, I don't care about all the other stuff there, so I'm saying, are we going to the beach or not? Just tell me straight up. We, I don't know why. I guess it's because of Disney. They're saying like are we going to the beach or not just tell me straight up? We know I don't know why I guess it's because of Disney like Florida's such a big attraction for like family vacations and whatnot So Florida Hopefully like still sucking a wall Disney stick because there's nothing for a awful state. I'm sorry Florida but I

Went once for a family vacation my my parents did not have the, that discussion until years later, luckily. But when I was, I was like 13 maybe. We took a family trip. Again, we drove. Luckily I wasn't old enough to drive yet, so I didn't have to make this drive. We drove from South Texas out to Florida. Went to Disney World and all that stuff.

It's cool. And then the next year for some reason at school, we took a school trip to Disney World. Wow. When I was, I think I was 14 or 15. And I'd already, like, I feel like I'd already just seen it and like you're at that weird age where you're a teenager and you don't.

I've been there. Yeah, I've been there. I'm not into that. I don't want to do it. So we, you know, we, as part of the school trip, we go out there to Florida and we're staying at some hotel and the hotel has an arcade and in the arcade They've got like mortal combat and I'm like, oh sweet, it's a little combat here

So like I'm playing mortal combat and then they're like, all right, we have to go to Disney Like fuck, I don't want to go to Disney. I'm gonna play Mortal Kombat all day So we all get in the bus and we go to Disney and They let us loose and you know, they're like, all right, if anybody gets sick or if anybody, you know and they're like, all right, if anybody gets sick or if anybody feels bad, just go to town hall and leave a note, leave a message and let us know and we'll find you and we'll know. And if there's an emergency, just go there.

I'm like, all right, cool. So we're walking around Disney. I spent like an hour in the park. I'm done with this. I just wanna go play Mortal Kombat. I was like, I was gonna tell him I was sick. So I go to the town hall or whatever. And I was like, I just leave a note and I'm like, I got sick, I can't or whatever and I'm like I just leave a note and like I got sick

I can't do this. I'm going back to the hotel Carry on without me I'll be okay so go back to the hotel like yeah a little comment people will comment all day They're like at nine o'clock at night one of my teachers comes in is like you Get over here Get over here. I was like, what? He's like, and he's like yelling at me because I left the park and they couldn't find me.

I'm like, I left a message. I did what you said. He's like, you know, why do you leave the park? You know, we waited there for two hours. I was looking for you. I was like, I did exactly what you said on the message. He's like, you don't look sick. Like, yeah, I came back.

I took my medicine. I'm fine now. So they couldn't get mad at me because I followed their rules, but I wasted everybody's time on that That's a perfect vacation for you. I can't think of something better for you It's off-life tool. I feel terrible about it to this day. Now you think about it every day And you're like, oh, it's the best. I was so on that time I went the one at one time I went to Disney World, like we went and all the adults were paired up with a kid,

you know? I got paired up with my great-grandmother. Tom. Right now is like 100. Oh, the sassy one, the newspaper writer? Yeah, yeah. So she's like 100, so then she was like 87 or something. I don't know.

A young woman, yes. But we're, like I just just remember we were doing like bumper cars And I she was sitting with me and she'd get mad at me if I hit anyone And you get mad at the people who hit us. I remember like driving and then she turned around yellow. Hey That is not nice and I'm like But the bumper car that's what you're supposed to do and like all the kids are like scared. Because, like, what are we, she's like, you drive around nicely.

I'm like, all right. You know what, it's like driving slow in the fast lane of the bumper cars and she's just like, always indicate. Oh, it's like the one time ever, like bumper car history, like everyone just drove in the so corner. It's the ones I remember where old people don't hit in other cars.

Let's completely know that they realize that it's wrong. And we should be able to get at least. They're like, this isn't the highway. We shouldn't be hitting other cars. This isn't a parking lot. Yeah, this isn't a parking lot. Oh, yeah, I was worried about that about like getting older and not realizing you make that turn and that You can't drive anymore or that you can't see as well as you think you can because it like I feel like all of that

It's gradual right. It's super gradual. It's not like a bam. You shouldn't be doing this anymore It's like yeah, maybe not maybe not then definitely not you read about that kid who He's driving with his grandma or his great grandma, and she had a minor heart attack behind the wheel while they're on the highway. And so he steered them into a ditch and slowed the car. The kid's like nine or something like that. And he basically steered the car and it slowed down

or fell off the gas or whatever and stuff like that and came to a stop. And he said that he learned how to do it from Mario Kart. He's like, that's where I knew how to do this and whatever. And yes, he's like having a heart attack. He's like, I'm just gonna lean back. Yeah, I'm just gonna lean back. I'll just do it.

I'll just sit later. Don't hit any other cars. Yeah, that's, yeah, no. When do you know that you're too old to? It got to the point where my granddad was getting so old that we had to take his keys away from him because we don't want him driving anymore and The students like a world war two veteran. He didn't put up with shit so you remember like I remember him fighting with my uncle Fred he was like the oldest of the brothers and

He'd taken his keys like come on just give me the keys Fred come on and. And he's like, no, no dad, you know, you can't drive It is this is like, I don't know back in the 90s or something. He's like, just just go ahead and fax him to me The keys got down it. I want to drive I made a wrong choice Man, oh Technology works It's like I made a wrong choice This way we don't understand how technology works I was dealing with this speaking of keys and cars that reminded me I was dealing with this problem where my my father-in-law has a car And he was parked at the grocery store a couple days ago and someone tried to break into his car Not by smashing the window, but by trying to pick the lock or something

So old car No, it's still like an O3. You can see around the lock, it's all fucked up, the metal's all bent. So his key doesn't open the door anymore, because someone just really fucked up the lock, they didn't get in, and his key doesn't open it and get to call the locksmith, and I was like, I was like, just bring the car up. I'll help you take it to a place and we'll have the lockswaped out. So then he starts, we don't think anything else about it, but then we don't realize is the gas tank won't open because the locks are broken.

Because since his driver's side door is jammed, the lock is jammed, the automatic locks don't open anymore like they can't function and since he can't unlock the doors the gas tank won't unlock either He's like I don't know if I have enough gas to get the Austin So like yeah, I had to have him like drive up and then like follow him to a place to take the car Like I was like if you run out of gas just pull over immediately and you know Then we can get in my car and then we'll figure out what we're gonna do But he made it it was like coasting on fume It was like the most nerve wrecking the divers like I hope I hope we make it and it's like oh because some fucking asshole

Decided to like I don't know stick a screwdriver in his his car door people who can pick locks are dangerous my Lynn my brother Lynn is like he knows how to pick locks and he has his kit and all this stuff like that and he'll just Especially when I had my old car he'd pick the lock to it drive it around and move it somewhere else and I'd come back my apartment and be like holy shit my car is stolen and then I get this message from Lenny be like missing something but he could get into anywhere like my apartment and also just stuff like that he's extremely dangerous. That's the one thing I am scared about moving into you guys' apartment. Lynn is gonna fuck your world up. I like Lynn.

Lynn and I get along well though. This is my little brother. Lynn is fucking hilarious. I love hanging out with him. But yeah, I am afraid that he will fuck with me though. He will gain entry. I think that's the story about whenever you got a call from your apartment complex and they couldn't get a hold of you. Did I have told that one on the podcast?

Yeah, it was the one with... Yeah, I did. I told about how Lynn said I was in prison. Yeah, it's that kind of stuff. It's a little shit. And you can't trust him, especially when he has the tools to get into everything. When I was in college, one of the guys in my college was like that. He loved picking locks. There must be some people who just really into that.

He always carried a lock pick set with him, and he always wore a black trench coat and a fedora. This is what. This is down in Houston. It's back when Astral World and Waterworld were still open. And like my college had rented out Waterworld for the night, one night. It's like, all right, we're gonna go and, you know, for like four hours or whatever, Waterworld is just for you guys. Get in costume there.

And that dude went with us. And everyone else is wearing, you know, swim trunks and stuff to get wet. He showed up in that Fedora with his set of lock picks and like so everyone's going into the front door and then as we're going in like Security's like you stop and they've got like a piece of paper and this is face on the paper like you can't come in here Keep being kicked out of Astro world so many times for picking locks and getting access to places He shouldn't, that they had a piece of paper with his face holy shit. Yeah, it's kind of cool actually. Yeah, to be that level of like, you know, what do you get into it when Ash World was around

like prices? Well, I guess the price but also like the little trees or the sea or the little, yeah, the access areas, I guess you could do that, but, but it sucks. It sucks, Ash World. I guess it's just the thrill. Yeah, I think he just, yeah, it's something that you're forbidden from entering. Right. And it's just like, I want to go in there and see. Yeah, I've never stolen like I don't steal, but we were having a shoot in college at a carnival or something like that. It was in the dripping springs, I think.

And I was like packing down set and I was pissed off because it wasn't even my shoe but I was there the last one there breaking down set and I had watched like fucking tin kids walk up to like a carnival game and then just take a prize and I was like this things are like worth what five cents and I was talking to a girl the time I was like what would it be funny if I just like took something so I packed everything into my car, look around, no one's there, pitch black, they turn off all the lights. I take this stupid, despicable me, like giant yellow ugly thing, and as soon as I grabbed it, there was like two people that were like a hundred yards away,

they're like, ah, you put that down, it was fun, like how did they catch me? So I immediately started running with it, and I was like, am I really gonna get arrested or this goddamn despicable me? So I like threw running with it. I'm like, am I really gonna get arrested or this goddamn despicable V-thing? So I threw it behind me, hopped over a fence,

and started running in the news. Like I was like in the barn identity. I was like, going through a crowd, like, I'm gonna get away. Just for a fucking despicable me, stuffed animal. Wow, they're like shooting at you. What the hell is that?

Come on, crowd on the ground! Sorry! There's a lot of crimes to not worth it, Blaine. Zane. I'm just fucking full of the wrong name. Yeah. So, those still kids. Yeah. I don't think I've ever stolen anything.

I think when I was a kid, like, in a stroller, I grabbed a stuffed animal, and my mom accidentally like pushed me out with it and made me like go back and Apologize to the store like I was too young like I didn't know it's like I just grabbed something and we just have to go back and you know Give it back. I think that's the extent of it. I'm not I'm not a hard and criminal like Zayn Gibson I was reading something about a a woman who is trying to teach her kids about right and wrong Because the kids stole this is in New York. I think. The kid stole something from a store and She had him, you know, they took it back or whatever stuff like that and then she called the she called the police and said, hey Can you send an officer down to you know talking my son about right and wrong and stuff like that?

And they're like, yeah, absolutely, man So they show up to her house and they start talking to the kid and they're you know, whatever blah blah blah and The three officers were cool. One of the officers was like, this is bullshit. This is, he's a thief and a blow, you know, and the kid's like 12 or whatever. And so anyway, while the other cops are being nice, the kid and teaching about right and wrong,

the other cops like, you're a bad mother. You're a bad mother and blah blah blah. And then they end up arresting the mother. Like after, yeah, it was, what? It was crazy. They arrest the mother. You know, the other cops didn't want to, but the one cop did the rest are for you know child, you know neglect or whatever the case was So then they left the 12 year old alone no the

12 year older CPS shop It was a whole fucking thing like she called the cops to teach him or her about right and wrong to teach him or her about right and wrong. I'm sure that kids learned a lesson. Yeah, good cop. So you're telling the story of mine to be about a story told on a previous podcast. You talked about the guy who tweeted about like having a plane. Yeah, have you heard, have you followed that anymore, hurting to the further details about that?

I think you got, you know, shaking down a little bit and, you know, a wag of the finger and stuff. The thing was, is he's, you know a wag of the finger and stuff. The thing was is he's you know he's a tech industry dude. He actually does consulting for you know airlines and stuff like that. So after giving him some grief they're like don't do that again and I think you know he's intimidated and the learning is less and I don't mean he didn't go to jail. A couple days ago he got arrested. No shit. They realized that on that flight on flights he actually was hacking into planes and issuing commands to the plane from the cabin a week ago I checked on it and I was like it happens. Holy shit. What what kind of things does he

Apparently what I read was that They went to his seat and they saw that Under the scene front of him that the access cover was removed and that under his seat dex cover was removed And that he used a modified ethernet cable to plug in to the inflight entertainment system, hacked it, bypassed it, was able to issue climb commands to the onboard computer in the cockpit and that his plane started climbing as a result of it. What was he trying to do? Prove that you're hacking as a plane.

Who were those people that were tweeting me being like you can't get into a plane for Well through the wireless I understand but that yeah, you absolutely did that's fucked. Yeah, so I mean it's it's It's I know one hand you know, it's it's shitty. He shouldn't be doing that right by the other hand It's like I'm glad that this is now kind of out there so that Airplane manufacturers and airlines know that you need to secure that Yeah, so that no one does anything malicious with that kind of access. Here's the thing. Was he doing that on commercial flights with passenger? It was commercial flights with passengers that he was on.

That's that's pretty fucked because he deserves it. Who knows like I mean, what if you crash the computer? What if the computer freaked out or whatever the case is? I mean, you shouldn't do that with other people on board. Like I'm all for you know vulnerability testing and all that stuff like that, but that is pretty screwed. I see a way to look up the article and send it to you. Yeah, I want to send it to Maryl to the link them to.

Gus and I love airline disasters and other stuff. Any more banana beer? There's no more banana beer in my mind. You can finish your planes. But it's time to wrap up anyway. So, I want to thank everyone for watching. I hope you all had a good Memorial Day, and we'll see you guys next Monday with another episode of the Archie podcast. Bye! Happy Memorial Day! You Describe the show to a newcomer in a more familiar way.

Do you like apples? Example. Together in trepid hosts, charmacombs, charmacombs are free to deas of nothing to do with this podcast. Analyze various unsolved and rooster-teeths cryptic podcasts. F**k face. Call to action. Feel free to add something show premise specific, but short. Listen to show name on Apple Spotify or wherever you get podcasts. It's f**k face, a podcast. Subscribe or no. You do yes?

Face a podcast. Subscribe or know. You do yes?