Rooster Teeth Podcast - RTX Australia! - #360

Episode Date: January 26, 2016

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If he can survive the drive, also starring Stephanie Beatriz, Samoa Joe, Nev Campbell, Will Arnet, and Thomas Hayden Church. Twisted metal, streaming now, only on peacock. Hello everyone, welcome to the RESTEEZEF Podcast. This week brought to you by Harry's Nature Box and Warby Parker. I'm not joking. Joining me on stage for the received podcast, sitting next to me I believe, maybe Joel Heyman. What are you carrying Joel? Joe. Sitting next to Joe Hayman in a very unfortunate spot will be Barbara And finally, anchoring the podcast by bringing it down to the bottom of the ocean is Bernie Burns. Hello. So, we're doing the full normal podcast for this week.

Thank you. Wow, this is amazing. I need to do more events down here. We're doing the full podcast this week. I have a couple of sponsors and ad reads we'll get to and we're just going to talk like normal. It's a podcast and whatever happens. You're selling, you're convincing yourself.

I'm letting you know. I'm going to be talking about many fine products, some of which are not available in Australia. I had a really funny thing. So this is like the day of podcasts at RTX Australia. And I had a funny thing that took place kind of behind the scenes. I'm going to throw our guardians under the bus a little bit on this, but uh, oh, do it. Yeah. So they were having the off topic podcast a little bit earlier. You guys, anybody's going to the off topic podcast Dude Mike when he came back from that he was like laying on the floor up there like trying to catch his breath What the hell happened was he like running around?

He did laps around the place with microphones. Yeah, he's young enough. He can do that stuff I know but while they were doing it while they were having the off topic podcast They just started and suddenly had this bright idea. I said oh one of the things that people love about He can do that stuff. But while they were doing it, while they were having the off topic podcast, they had just started. And suddenly I had this bright idea. I said, oh, one of the things that people love about that podcast is the fact that there's a working beer tap in the back of it of the set. People just wander through all the time and get a beer.

So I said, we should try to do something like that. So I started talking to people saying, can we have alcohol in the main hall? And then we finally worked out. Yes, it's okay. That's a great take a bucket of beers put it on the table behind them And we'll just have staff members walk through and get beers and not participate in the podcast anyway and people will love that They're like okay, we'll do that and about five minutes later They said hey, we get it. You're right. It was a huge hit and I said okay I'll go down there and grab one too So I came down here and I said backstage where where on stage is the beer and they said

oh we just gave it to the guys the achievement hunters and they're all drinking it. I was like no no no I was like no I said I said you gotta take the beer and put it behind them and the other staff members get it that's the way it works and they're like okay I got it now make sense five minutes later somebody walks up to me backstage, he goes, Bernie, here's your beer. And I'm like, oh, shit. So I was like, but it was like an avid customer team. By the time we got it all worked out, the podcast was over.

Hey, Bernie. Yeah. You snooze your booze. Apparently so, babs. No. No. No, I mean, no. The Guardian's here are doing a very excellent job.

They are doing a great great fantastic job of keeping me from getting into the fucking building. Where is the guardian that was over there in that corner who insisted I could not come in. Where are you now? They're not going to out themselves. Where's your bad show? I don't know what happened to my badge. Joel, so what happened? You go to the door and they just said they didn't recognize you? No, they're like, no, get out.

I mean, normally when we have events like this, there's like two levels. There's like the guardians and the actual security people. And it's like, you got to watch the fuck out for the actual security people because they don't know who you are and they have guns I mean not here they have guns, but normally like a guardian will flow you know will throw you Help right and so it's like I'm standing in front of the security guard going no, no, no, I swear I swear I swear oh there's a guardian right there. There's a guardian right there in the garden rain over and I'm like

Here comes he's like I have no idea Who that person is he does not have a badge. You should put him in jail. There's a guardian with hair. You know where you are. Oh, the one with hair. The one with hair. The one with hair.

You know who you are. You're the guy who paid $10 yesterday to keep Joel out of the building. So thank you for that. I'll tell you one thing, the guardians did not stop me from walking around this convention center and stealing 20 different items Yeah, what is it? I'm gonna give the fuck away on the podcast

So you know you're all cheering, but you haven't seen the items yet. No, they have seen the item. No, I'm serious I had arguments. I went into the green room. They said sir you cannot take that I Said I'm Joel hemen. I wonder why they're not letting you in and they said, sir, you cannot take that. I said, I'm Joel Heeman. I wonder why they're not letting you in places. And they said, where's your badge? Right before the podcast, Bernie sees this tray of stuff and he goes, I'm scared. Joel has props. I'm scared.

And this is one of my career. I can't think of anything more frightening than Joel Heeman with props. I mean, that was just really scary to me. I can imagine as you're taking it to out of the green room They're probably saying over the radio. Yeah, the homeless guy with the backwards cap is now stealing stuff out of the green room That tried to get into the building earlier today. He's screaming about gold or something to Oil these days. Oh, well, don't fucking get me sorted. Don't please. Please don't Listen, this is listen, I understand I'm not gonna talk understand, I'm not going to talk about this for two minutes

in that space. You literally said it. No listen, I'm going to talk about this for two minutes. I understand. I'm starting a timer. It's not an interesting subject. I get that. So I'm not going to talk about it here.

You're eating your time. But I'm going to give away free stuff. Alright. But I still help me. I will do a one off podcast while I'm talking about it and no one will watch it. Alright. Wooo! Wooo! Wooo! Wooo! Wooo! Wooo! Wooo! Wooo! Wooo! Wooo! Wooo! Wooo! Wooo! Wooo! Wooo! Wooo! Wooo! Wooo! Wooo! Wooo! Wooo! Wooo! Wooo! Wooo! Wooo! Wooo! Wooo! Wooo! Wooo! Wooo! Wooo! Wooo! Wooo! Wooo! Wooo! Wooo! Wooo! Wooo! Wooo! Wooo! Wooo! Wooo! Wooo! Wooo! Wooo! Wooo! Wooo! Wooo! Wooo! Wooo! Wooo! Wooo! Wooo! Wooo! Wooo! Wooo! Wooo! Wooo! Wooo! Wooo! You're making like a channel, I'm anticipating this for seven years. I've been hearing how this is going to happen. I've had some gains and I've had to pilot all into airfare costs, which is fucking totally worth it because you get to Australia. So, I've been out. I had something weird happening on the flight down here.

I'm going to segue a bit. I've never seen this happen before. So, coming from Austin, I flew Austin to Los Angeles, Los Angeles to Sydney. When I landed in Los Angeles, as they were bringing the jet bridge out to get us off the plane, the jet bridge broke. And it broke in such a way that they couldn't close the door of the plane because the jet bridge was in the way. It was about... It was a big... You could jump over the gap, but they wouldn't let anyone jump because it was dangerous. So it's like

a 40 foot drop, yeah. They decided that, they said, at first they were like, oh yeah, it'll just be a couple of minutes, we'll fix it, it'll be no problem. And then I was sitting right up at the front of the plane, I could hear the, they're saying, oh no, this could take hours. This will take hours to fix. The pilot got out from the cockpit, got out into the jet bridge, because maintenance was trying to come up through the door to get into the jet bridge and fix it, but the door was jammed.

So the pilot got out of the cockpit and started kicking the door. Like, I was like, that's the guy who just flew the plane. That's a badass pilot. And now he's like trying to kick a door down. The door wouldn't open. So ultimately, the solution was, we need to move the plane, but we can't close the door.

If we try to move the plane, the door's just gonna scrape along the tarmac and destroy it, they got four dudes to hold the door up while the plane moved and backed up. And that was a solution to fix the problem. And then we had to go out via stairs to get off the plane. I lied to take. It took about 40 minutes.

That sounds like like somebody pushed starting an airplane. That sounds like a nightmare to me It's like plane stones everyone's feet are just like going like a lot of people on the plane We're like we have a really tight connection. Can we just make the jump? I promise if I fall I won't sue they were like our planes about to leave we can jump four feet They should have jumped from that plane to their plane big kicudos. Connect them. Jump four feet. Yeah. Let's be honest. Could you jump four feet? The pilot did it.

I can do it. Try it now. Pilot your man. Ha ha. Oh, no, no, that's the best. They don't know what feet are. That's a lawsuit, right? It's their work.

They don't know what feet are. Everything's a metric of that. I don't know. Right. There's a Australian feet right there. Yeah, that was like half a meter. I had a pretty long that. I don't know. There was Australian feet right there. Yeah, that was like a half a meter. I had a pretty long flight because I had to fly from the East Coast of the US.

I was in Washington had to fly to LA. That was five and a half hours. Then down here, LA to Sydney was 14 and a half. But the real problem was that I had to pack for one day in Washington, where here it's 41 degrees and in Washington it was negative eight degrees. So with the Celsius. Yeah yeah like that I just that. No you're proud. Don't applaud him going to Washington DC. All right don't do that. I want to know

Celsius. As an American. Yeah. As an American taxpayer. Yeah. Did I pay for you to fucking fly to DC? No, you paid for that as a Rouser D-D-Employee. Oh, I'm great. All right, great. No, but it was really cool because we got to meet in the Roosevelt Room right off of the Oval Office for that.

I was there. I lived in DC for 10 years. I remember being in sixth grade. Is that when you're a Redskins man? That's when I'm a Redskins man. Okay. Not because I hate Indians. Fucking Indians.

Thank you for coming. What if there's an Indian in the room? See you on the podcast in a three years' row. It's, I have a great time. So what does that mean? So you lived in DC, so you got to go to the White House and sit in the Roosevelt room? Yeah, they take you on a tour.

And apparently you get kicked out of the White House if you sit down in one of the chairs. Yeah, I take you on a tour and apparently you get kicked out of the white house if you sit down in one of the chairs Yeah, I learned that they wouldn't let us they wouldn't let us bring in any electronics for that meeting I went there because I got invited to go hear the president's plan about climate change and then like figure out ways to communicate that and They wouldn't let us bring in phones. We couldn't bring in laptops It's like the only meeting I've been to in the last 10 years, Where there's like everybody just had a pad and a pen. That's really disturbing. I mean, I don't even know how you break

That news to someone, right? Where it's like, listen, we need you to come to a meeting. But you can't bring yourself home. Well, maybe that's the way to address climate change is, hey, You can't use anything that uses electricity anymore. You're going back to paper and pen. So no more power plants. They flew Bernie over to DC, so we can have a podcast talking about how shit all of it is.

Yeah, absolutely. Actually, I gotta say, the White House was built like the early 1800s, and then somebody, the British burned it to the ground, and we rebuilt it in the same foundation. But they built it and it has been used by the president and his administration ever since then. They didn't build in certain rooms for technology.

So as their administrations have grown, like literally, I'm not kidding, the copier for one of the offices was in the men's bathroom. That's not a joke because copiers didn't I guess exist Oh, they built the first stop. What are they doing in there? It was a dude running copies and you're You're taking a scanner for a second. I was just like oh no It is a little serving when you're sitting there taking a pee and there's like this light Question like did you look around like ethernet ports into the wall and the walls are anything like it or what? Like did you look around? Do I have like ethernet ports into the wall and the walls or anything like that? Is there what ethernet ports?

No, there's nothing like that nothing like that. Yeah, there was a couple places. Wi-Fi, huh? That's cool What's that Wi-Fi, huh? Yeah, yeah, I didn't catch any Wi-Fi networks in the White House or anything like that What do you think the Wi-Fi network at the White House would be? What do you think that'd be called? I don't know. White-Fi? Is there a? Whitefy? I don't know. Boboma rules. I would have high security though.

I would imagine that. The highest possible security for the Wi-Fi network. Joel has faith. I know he does. We're at that awkward moment where I, again, am like so old. I didn't understand the word you said. Okay. We'll go ahead.

Yeah, I'm going to read this here. What are mine? Hey, dumb come on you're killing me What I'm not everyone this episode of the podcast is brought to you by Harry's guys. It's a new year It's time to improve on things which is why we're excited to introduce you to Harry's. Harry's the guy. These guys make awesome razors. We are the leading brands. We've tried the shape clubs, but they just don't stack up to Harry's. Our new and approved shaving solution for 2016. No one in our company shaves.

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I feel sorry for you guys. So my curious about, so stand up if you don't mind for just one second. So Barbara is wearing jeans for those of you listening to the audio podcast, where it's, they're new jeans, but they come pre-torn up, right? I'm assuming you didn't like tear those genes on your road construction job or anything like that.

I was actually crawling across the floor one time. And then the door bar. Just snagged on a bunch of nails. Have you ever shaved your legs? I've been in it. Have you ever shaved your legs in such a way that you just shaved the parts that showed your teeth? Like just in the patch of my nose.

And just left everything normal? Not a single time now. That's I would absolutely be that. Although one time this is actually, this week, actually, when I was in Australia, I was wearing a dress yesterday, I realized I only shaved one of my legs. How do you not know? Did you was the other one not covered in shaving cream?

The other, I don't put shaving cream on my legs. Wait, I know. Wait, what? Did someone else shave for legs? No, I had one light that was perfect, What? Yes, somebody else shaved Barbara's legs. I had one leg that was perfect and the other one had a bunch of... The other one was like wearing a boot. What?

It was like wearing a boot. What's the longest that you can go as a girl without shaving your legs? Well personally, I'm blonde, so it doesn't show very much. So you get a way... So what's the longest she's got? The longest I've got. About two inches. A couple months.

Really a couple months. Wink. Wait, that was the wink meme, was it longer? No, it's a couple months, yeah. I was doing a wink as in like, hey, date me. So you asked her if she ripped her jeans up as part of her construction job. When we were walking back here to come out to the panel,

we're walking along this train line that runs along behind the building, we're walking outside, and there's a bunch of workers back there right now who are clearing brush and doing construction stuff, I guess, on the, on the railway. And as we're walking out there, there's all this power equipment going on, and one of them just yelled, ow! And we were like, is that guy okay? No, it was people with like bush trimmers. Those giants, his are looking things. Yeah, one of those.

What do you lose a finger? Maybe, or something else. We're at the coming here, so the real line maybe a little blood You're back here. He gave himself a circumcision. This is what happened. I talked about Dicks getting cut off. Oh yeah, don't talk about that. Well, you guys, you want to see my,

can we show it? Dicks asked me about my finger. Oh, okay. Got it. I'm going to show you guys something impressive, and that can fit on that screen. So I cut this, this good gross, some people out, I mentioned that I cut my finger and I said that I would try to put a photo up online and ever since people have been asking me about that and I just

can't find a way to host that without grossing out like everybody in my Twitter feed or on the Ruchu Tee site. Everybody likes cuts. Do you guys want to see this? Do you want to see my horrible cut? You really, you really don't. There are so many cameras that came up to take a photo of this. What's that?

So here's the problem. I've got to get my stitches out Wednesday. And I'm still going to be here because I'm going to the tug screening that's got like 700 people going in Sydney. Biggest screening in the world for laser team is in Sydney, Australia. Give it up, Sydney! Sorry. I don't know how you fit that premiere you're gonna be cutting off your other fingers, that's correct?

That's exactly right, I'll be cutting out. So I have to figure out a way to get my stitches out. You're gonna get stitches out yourself, right? I'm gonna do it for RT life. Yeah, just cut the knot and pull it. I have. I'm gonna get a stretch goal, a way to get my stitches out. I think I'm going to get stitches out yourself, right? I'm going to do it for RT life. I'm just going to just cut the knot and pull it. I have. I want to get a stretch goal. Somebody can take out my stitches.

It's funny because I had a length surgery one time and I had stitches in my leg. That is funny. It's hysterical. No, but it's like they, like they said, I said an appointment to get stitches out and they said, don't worry about it. Don't worry about it.

It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. And slowly military hospitals. And slowly the skin overgrrew the stitching and disappeared. And they said, don't worry, it dissolves in the bloodstream. So help me dear God Almighty. Six months later, I noticed on my foot

at the base of my large toe that it was black. And I was like, why is the base of my finger toe? Finger toe? Finger toe? Why is my finger toe black? And it slowly then it started like spectrum out. Spectrum out. Spectrum out.

And finally, after six and other six months, it would grow to the end of the toenail. And then it was at the end. And I pulled out as the fucking thread from my leg. It was the fucking thread from my leg. And it went through my fucking leg today, my fucking toenail. That shit did not dissolve, it lied to you.

Everyone fucking lies to you in the medical profession. What the fuck? How have I known you for like two decades and I've never heard the story? No, I've never told you. No shit, this is what I was saying. Listen to me, if you get a massive cut on your hand, I have this tattoo on my hand. Right. I just did.

You're right here. You're saying the next stage is if you get a blotch chunk of your skin ripped off from your body, you have to get a tattoo around it with dot marks. That's because it's funny. Listen, honestly, this is one of the weirdest things about Joel. And I've known Joel for a very long time at this point. Joel has a place on his can there where he has a scar. I've never noticed it.

You've never noticed it. But it bugged Joel so much that he had this scar. I know. I put a tattoo around it. I didn't bug me. I just thought it would be funny. I never noticed it until he pointed it out before you got the tattoo.

You're like, yeah, I've got this huge scar here. I'm sure you've seen it. Nope. Yeah, well, what's funny is that other people had pointed out at me, they're like, yeah, I've got this huge scar here. I'm sure you've seen it. Nope. Yeah, well what's funny is that other people had pointed out at me, they're like, why do you have a square scar on your hand? And I'm like, well, I'm gonna get dots around it. And now that I have dots around it,

now nobody sees it. And it's like camouflage. It's like camouflage. Well, you guys saw what happened to Lindsay yesterday, right? Or two days ago? Yeah, do you all see Lindsay? Did you guys know about that? Do you know what happened?

Are we allowed to talk about Michael Gell-Port? You were there, I wasn't there. I really love talking about it. Yeah, you can talk about it? Do you know what happened? Are we allowed to talk about Michael? Michael, you were there. I wasn't there. Are we allowed to talk about it? Yeah, you can talk about it. You can talk about it. So we were filming an immersion on Friday. And at the end of the day, they're like, hey, Barbara and Lindsay,

do you guys want to do the experiment? We'll put it out as a bosser cut. And we're like, sure, this experiment involved water balloons filled with shaving cream and paint and things that smelled weird. I don't know what was in there. And Lindsay was pushing me on a cart as I was shooting people. I don't want to give away what it was. They said it already. Oh, it's spacing matters. And she slipped at some point. And I didn't know this because it was like crazy.

And all of a sudden, I looked behind me and there's like blood gushing from her face. And I just thought it was red paint from one of the balloons. She apparently slipped and fell on the bar of this cart she was pushing me on and had to be taken to a hospital and get stitches. I don't know, I'm not laughing. I'm just feeling bad because it was right before

the laser team premiered. So they had to go to the hospital and they missed the beginning of it. Well, we didn't, so we had gone all day This is at the end of the day and whenever we do a shoot like this is always medics on staff Just in case something happens and we realize Lindsey's bleeding. We're like, oh, you know, you sit down sit down Slay down and we're like medics medics medics and they're like Yeah, you guys like they're like, they're like, uh, they stroll over like, oh, yeah, it's a little

cut, she's fine. They're like, we gotta put a bandaid on it. You need to do something, you need to help her. Erin was there and he's like, yeah, she needs stitches. Every time she opens her mouth, the cut opens with it. She has like a second mouth right here opening, reveal your truth. And they're like, yeah, I mean, I guess, and he's like, what could- She looks bad ass now though, she got this big stitch right here, so she's mean I guess and he's like what could do you look bad ass now

though she got this big stitch right here stitches for it and it's like could you take her to the hospital they're like oh we don't know where the nearest hospital is they didn't know your medics this is your one job you're one fucking job which I have to point out

when you have medics on set they typically don't ever do anything at all they just sit there for eight to twelve hours I will I've worked on sets and I will tell you that's not true. A lot of these medics have books of the history of the jobs that they've done and they will force that book upon you and be like, look at this gross thing. Well, pictures?

Yeah, like pictures of gross things. That's what they do. Wait, that's fucked up. Hey, hey, I'm going to help you. But what, smile first. What are these guys doing? I don't know. It's like they're building their own, smile first. Like, what are these guys doing? I don't know. It's like, they're building their own weird headshots.

Like, that's how they get work. Like, oh, look what I've worked on. That's weird. Joel has a weird history of people showing him books. Have we ever told a story about the fan at Comic Con that made Joel look through her art book? And it was like, oh, here Joel, here's the picture I, thank you.

Hey, thank you very much. She was like, oh, here's my art book. Joel, will you look through with me? And he's like, sure, I'll do that. And he starts looking through the art book. And he says, oh, Joel, here's a picture of you that I drew. And then here's a picture of me. Oh, and then here's a picture of a tiger that I like a lot.

Now, here's a picture of me having a sex with a tiger. Now, Joel, here's the tiger having sex with you. You know, it's like, again, none of our parents understand any of this. I can't hear no exceptions to this. And over the 15 years that I've done this, I have not heard from my parents about any of this shit except for one time. And one time, one of my parental units discovered sexual fan fiction between me and Ray. And it was that I'm really proud of that piece, dude. Thank you very much.

Much of my best work. You fucking bastard. What was the name of it? I don't know the name of it. I don't want to read it. Listen, I've known my parents for a very long time. And it's like when you get an email thread from your parents or it's like we have to talk to you about something. And you're a spy, okay, what is it? No, seriously, we have to talk to you about something.

And it's like, oh, fuck, is somebody dead? Oh, fuck, who died? Oh, fucking John. It's like, no, we have, and then it got after seven. I've never had an email thread with my parents of seven exchanges that we had to talk to you about something. And then they give me a fucking link to me and write banging each other.

What's your name? Did they think it was a true story? What? Did they think it was true? I had to talk my mom off a cliff. And that cliff was the Grand Canyon. God. Stop writing fucking fan fictions. my mom of a cliff. And that cliff was the Grand Canyon. Stop riding fucking fan fictions.

So if anybody wants to write the Joel and Gus one, you can send it my way. I'll send it to my parents. It's fine. So Joel needed help pulling the string out from the bottom of his toe. Gus said, what if I don't use my hands? Oh, Gus. You're welcome everyone. Oh, Gus. Casually glances. That's the gaping wound. Oh.

That's not the only thing gaping. It's too small that wound. And I'm so big. I saw something today. I saw a headline today that I knew would infuriate Joel. Let me read this. Okay, we'll get to the headline. Let me read this on the thing. I'll see if I can find the headline. Need help? Yeah, sure. I'm gonna help. I want to remind everyone this episode of the podcast is also brought to you by NatureBox dedicated to making smart, delicious snacking easy. Easy. You deserve better than high-fripped-toe corn syrup and red dye number 578 Fred's die 578 What the fuck nature box snacks tastes delicious without any high fructose corn syrup trans fats MSG artificial color sweeteners or flavors? especially in gaping wounds

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NatureBox.com slash Rooster Teeth. Get 50% off your first box now. It's NatureBox.com slash Rooster Teeth right now. Get the right snacks for 2016. NatureBox.com slash Rooster Teeth. You've gotten a lot better at that. What does that mean? Gus was always good at that.

Was I bad? No, that was good. That was good. It was good, right? I'm really so conscious about it. No, don't be so conscious. You're so conscious about that. You're not so conscious about the gaping wound sex story?

It'd be like, oh, you're really pretty now. It's like, well, what does that mean? OK, so. So Gavin could not be here because Gavin actually wasn't supposed to come to RTX You guys are cheering for Gavin not being here. All right good. I prompted that He always not even so succumb to RTX Australia than he came here for the International premiere of laser team because you all donated more than any other country in the world

Thank you very much for that But But Gav flew all the way down here and then had to immediately leave like 12 hours later to fly to Sundance to promote laser team and that's in Utah. So he had to fly all the way there. You guys familiar with Sundance, a big film festival where they like debut the biggest hits, you know, movies by really famous people, also Gavin's there. So Joel, I read a headline today from Sundance and I thought I had to read this to you because you've worked in acting for a long time.

You know how hard it is to get films made and it's like to get new ideas out there and get really good ideas, get people to recognize the value in that and make a movie and put it on screen, select it to Sundance. Exactly. And then you go to place like Sundance where you see the best entertainment in the world. This is an actual headline from Sundance this year. Features Daniel Radcliffe from the popular Harry Potter franchise. Sundance, Daniel Radcliffe's new farting corpse movie prompts walkouts. Daniel Radcliffe's new movie is entirely about a corpse that farts. Who the fuck is gonna go see that? And I want David to go see that movie and report to us on it. What the hell that is?

It's like a weird buddy comedy or something, right? It's like a guy who finds a corpse that farts. One of the most anticipated movies at this year's Sundance Film Festival also turned out to be one of the most defensive. Seriously though, that screenwriter was full of hot air. I guess that what happens when you dive gas poisoning. Too soon Barbara. So yeah, Joel, would you play a farting corpse in a movie? At this point, you know. I mean, who's the guy from, I can't even remember.

There was that guy, he got his start as a farting corpse, except they took the farting out. The guy from the baseball movies. Kevin Costner. Kevin Costner got his part. Kevin Costner's first role. Did you know the guy from the baseball movies was Kevin Costner? What Costner got his part. Kevin Costner's first role. Did you know that guy from the baseball movies was Kevin Costner? What other baseball movies over there?

Major Lee? I thought of Major Lee. No, no, no. Because Kevin Costner has made into the movies that he would know about besides baseball movies. Dancing with the Lord! I got it right! Isn't that enough for you? Isn't that enough for you?

I'm impressed. Good job, Bernie. Thank you. Joe, so Kevin Corpse. Anyways, that was his first fucking role as a fucking corpse. He was a farting corpse. And they took the farting out afterwards because they found it was too decisive for audiences and the walk out of silence. They learned that lesson early.

So, do we want to take some questions for the audience? Well, I know everybody wants some free shit from the green room. Yeah, you are. I think you really want to take a seat. Say in your seats, we have a garden think you really want to tell me down. Say in your seats, we have a garden hole run around with a microphone taking questions from everybody and we can answer them. So Joel, what is the story with all of the ship?

You going to give this away to people who ask questions? It's not worth it, by the way. Oh listen, the question has to be good. The question has to be good. And I'm not kidding. I legitimately got in trouble. I'm not kidding. When you see some of these, you're going to be like, I should not kidding, I legitimately got in trouble. I'm not kidding, when you see some of these, you're gonna be like, I should not have this.

You could win a box of strepsals. Listen, RTX is the only fucking event you can go to and get the real shit. Literally, it's shit. It's garbage. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no So I'm sure you get a lot of fans who say, oh, you know, you must remember me.

I did X. Like that. I wrote that fan fiction. Yeah. We only remember. And why? I feel like Gus may remember my friend who's had the couldn't be here. Nope.

Nope. You signed his nibbles. Don't remember it. That's not a unique occurrence. It's. But that's devastating. You have your hand to like pick me. Pick me, and I thought it was gonna be a good question. Yeah, no, that's straight up.

They remember my friend who you and Jordan from the ATA. There were no questions in the hat. Do you remember him was the question? No, there was a question. You made him rub sanitize into them? I do remember that. Okay, you should. He was just standing there like, this is weird, and you're like yes I remember that yeah yeah yeah so it's like

Siding a nipple is not weird, but I was like I'm gonna get this guy to rope like hand sanitizer all over his body Do you have any wounds? Do you have hey you want something that I was not supposed to give out watch this come here? Come here. Don't come here. Come here. Come here. You're not going to be happy. Oh, that's a shirt. Oh, you can't give that away.

They are even angry on the podcast. You're not giving that away. You can't give somebody a guardian shirt. It was a guardian shirt. He got suit of fed. Yeah. It's. Woo.

Woo. All right. All right. Whoa, whoa, whoa whoa whoa easy I gotta say though I can't give out a guardian shirt People who smoke miss dip mistake you as a guardian Yes, exactly that's exactly around and you'll do terrible things to people and you're guardian shirt. That is a new series.

What is going on? All right, first, I will give a guardian shirt to anybody who will keep Joel out of the building for the rest of the day. Hey, there we go. You know, I got a proud surfam out. I got to say though, that gentleman's, your story of like doing weird things you remember and in his gang and blade shirt that he's wearing, reminded me of something that happened to me

for the first time ever. And it was like a crazy milestone where I was at a signing yesterday, babes, I was at a signing yesterday, and there was a little girl who got in the front of the signing. She's a cute little girl, probably like maybe seven, and she had me sign her red versus blue book and

then I noticed she also had on a straw hat. Yeah. And I said do you want me to sign your hat as well and she goes oh no that's only for the ladies and you know we have Ruby and we have a like a big female cast there and we had the ladies of Ruchifi panel yesterday. That's awesome. That was like I was like that has never happened to be before where it's, now we have so many females in the cast that this young girl would be inspired to do that and like get her hat signed by just all the females in it. And so I was like, I was really touched by it.

So I got down and I was like, I looked at her, I got down on one knee and I was like, I was like, you only want the girls to sign your hat? And she goes, yeah, and I go, well that's fucking sexist. So get the fuck out. Oh, I'm just gonna edit that. So if she can hear us from the parking lot, that was really touching. Thank you very much.

I also feel really bad because I was planning to start the podcast a certain way and I didn't do it. So could you reintroduce me? Oh yeah, go off. OK. This is all a point of get rid of her. I have to do this. So could you reintroduce me? Oh yeah go off. Okay. This is all a point to get rid of her. I have to do this I'm sorry. You know backstage. Oh. Seriously everyone let's just leave. Like we're gonna finish this part. I can still hear you. Wait I was after barm so I gotta go to. Ladies and gentlemen, Haley from the great white North of Canada, Barbara Donkelman!

What's up, you fucking cunt! And from Shitty Suburb of Houston, Bernie Burns. I love his intro so much better. Take it off your pants. Take off. I regret trying to follow that. So speaking of inappropriate things to say, Dunkel Mania continues down under. They do. Yeah, my parents are here. Barbara's parents. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. Barbara's parents are fantastic people. What went wrong? I think your dad replied to one of my tweets about the jet bridge breaking and saying that you're over, did you? I thought you didn't know. Yeah, they're way nicer than me. Did you do know about the jet bridge breaking and saying a trip over, did you? I thought you did, no? Yeah, they're way nicer than me.

Do you know about the penises? Well, Barbara's here, so I think they know about the penises. Sometimes after some podcast, you guys know. Some topics get really inappropriate, and I say, you guys don't watch the podcast, but they did. You guys don't see it, but literally, at the end of like 50% of the podcast, we waved goodbye, the credit roll, they cut the cameras, and Barbara goes, fuck my parents are gonna

see this. I think last week, the quarter of the week was, I get wet at the drop of a hat. And I gotta say, Barbara, when someone who looks like Barbara tells you that, you shouldn't immediately think of her father. That's what I thought of as soon as she told me that. That's a weird feeling. I mean, you, I don't want to, I love you. Number one, number two, you're, I mean, at some point in your life like 10 years ago, you're

like, no, no, listen, at some point you have to get a job. And now here you are. And she's walking out on stage. Are you proud? They first fake nodding. Curseing at a crowd of thousands of people and other questions. Saying what's up your fucking guns to a bunch of like 16 year olds?

I mean, really it was his fault. A little bit. All of it. But don't go missing, you guys his fault. A little bit. Yeah. All of it. But don't go mention you guys know I'm a huge fan. And Larry, I loved your fanfiction of about Ray and Joel. It was fantastic. Oh. Don't let him discourage you in your art.

Let's go to, how about this gentleman right on the aisle? Oh. Before we get to that guy, we'll get to you in a second. So I was talking about the Jet bridge breaking on my way here. Yeah. You remember, so we talked about what that little wheel does on the jet bridge previously. Right. And then someone sent a video of themselves spitting that wheel who worked on a jet bridge.

Right. I met that guy. He's here. He came by to have something signed earlier. What are the chances that someone who tweeted you would also be at RTX? Pretty small, honestly. signed earlier. What are the chances that someone who tweeted you would also be at RTX? Pretty small honestly and he so dude you gosh had dagger eyes right then I mean he was like he was talking all the story of Barbara said it it was literally like this he's like dot dot dot Barbara does it he goes pretty good actually

uh so he the guy came up to me and he's like, yeah, I'm the guy who sent you the video, you know, spinning the wheel to show you what the auto leveler does. I was like, oh, yeah, it's awesome. He goes, yeah, don't ever do that. Was he not a like a technician? I think. He was like, yeah, people kept asking me why I did that. And now everyone looks at me anytime I go on the jet bridge.

Wow. It's like giving an eye on me. So, I'm dangerous, dude. Yeah, definitely. I'm really nervous for what Joel has Joel's got something going on here I think Barber's parents asked a very excellent question. They should get a present Stop writing fan fiction 18 plus

Sorry, go ahead They're over there. All right. Let's go back to that gentleman I have a question from yeah that guy you You knew you're the one who picked him. Alright, so besides all the alcohol, what's your favorite part of Australia so far? There's other parts. The people. I don't have a funny answer.

I would. I have to, I legitimately have to say something. A lot of people, we do have the greatest fans on earth and like, oh, the greatest fans on earth. And like any person who's ever been famous throughout the history of time goes, we have the greatest fans on earth. And when they say that, it's because, oh, they love us so much.

But that's not the case. Like at RTX in Austin, when we have RTX in Austin, legitimately, like people in traffic get more polite. Like people signal, people are polite to each other. No, legitimately, we do have the best fans on the planet. It's a vegetable. And it's not because you like us so much. It's because you're good fucking people.

Yeah. Yeah. No, I mean, I mean, no, I mean, you guys are very, you're nice. You will behave. You're sensitive. You're emotionally balanced, you're way better than us. You're so good looking too, wink. That little girl really was sexist though, if you think it was fucking. She really was. Teaching her all the wrong values.

Get out. She had to leave. A quality is a bitch. What are we giving him? Are you giving something to Joel? Oh, yes. Your seat is now reserved for you. Your seat is reserved for you. Yes. I just want to know who's going to get the house plant.

That's what I want to know. All right. Let me read another one of these things. My final one, and then we'll continue with our questions. You got a box right there. No, go ahead. You guys put your hands down for a second if you want. I hope it's not Daniel Red, Cliffs New Movie. One reminder, one of the tips of the podcast is brought to you by Daniel Red.

This episode of the podcast is brought to you by Warby Parker. I want to give a shout out to our friends at WarbyParker.com. Warby Parker makes high quality, stylish frames for prescription sunglasses. Awesome glasses started at $95 compared to similar quality boutique brand frames that sell for $300 or more. Warby Parker also has a free home trion program

that's very cool. Go to the website, choose five pairs of frames, and they send them to you so you can try them on the side of which ones you like best. Oh, it's gorgeous. Every pair of glasses you purchase, Warby Parker sends a pair to someone in need. And they send them to you so you can try them on beside of which ones you like best Every paraclass you purchase Warby Parker sends a pair of someone in need Try Warby Parker out for yourself and see how good you look in their frames go to Warby Parker dot com slash Ruchiteeth Get free three-day shipping on your final frame selection. That's Warby Parker dot com slash Ruchiteeth We should have a couple here. So I'm glad you took those. Oh, I have oh my god

I've been wanting to buy some for you. You have some of you of you I try mine you backups. I've you are fucking blind though seriously So are those prescription ones that you have what's that are those prescription? So you have those these are like the no, no, these are not these are like the home try-on kit if you want to try different looks I don't wear glasses I got I don't misunderstood our system here and when they sent them to me in the states I just chose these and then sent my box back So I assumed I was getting a free pair of glasses and hopefully they won't send me a bill for three years Those look good. I don't wear glasses. I'm giving this away

So I just Give it away. You know if I did I Give it away. You know, if I did, I bought or I didn't bought, I picked out pairs that I would like if I ever do need glasses. And at some point, I probably will, because everyone in my family is blind. I do have to say that seeing people who don't wear glasses or who wear contacts that suddenly wear glasses, that can be a little jarring, it's not more jarring on anyone else than Blaine Gibson.

He's got like the thickest possible glasses I can imagine. What does the deal with that? And his eyes are tiny when he puts on his glasses, it's super tiny. He's blind. I think he's medically blind. Medically blind. Medically blind.

Not he, you're reticling. He had an eyectomy. So are you going to take a pair out of this and then ship them back? What's that? Are you going to take a pair? Yeah, I need sunglasses. So that's why I picked all sunglasses. I have to admit, every time I've ever gotten a pair out of this and then ship them back? What's that? Are you gonna take a pair? Yeah, I need sunglasses, so that's why I picked all sunglasses. I have to admit, every time I've ever gotten a pair of prescription sunglasses, I've lost

them like the next day. That's always the case. Do you guys like these? Are these good? I had a pair of prescription sunglasses stolen by a valet once who parked my car. Oh, really? Is that why the fuck would you steal prescription sunglasses? Maybe he had the same prescription as me.

Maybe he put them on the... Oh wow, I can park a car now. I didn't know sunglasses had prescriptions. So weird. I have a problem because I don't have prescription lenses because they have laser surgery. So anytime I get a new pair of glasses, the production team hates lighting

because the reflections off my lenses so they immediately just take those glasses off my face and pop my lenses out. then I'm miserable for the time So I'm glad to have glasses that have lenses. Do your lenses pop out? No, they just push them out They just push them out what sort of laser eye surgery did you have? I said lazy like grab it like I'm gonna push it out. Oh shit Let's see if we can get Bernie to break some more of his stuff I actually did it popped out

Let's see if we can get Bernie to break some more of his stuff. And I actually did it popped out. We're not expecting that to happen. I didn't push it that hard. It'll be pushed it's kind of hard. So now I have one lens in and that's it. But I can pop it back in. Shall we continue with our line of questioning? You could pick.

I can't see anymore so help me. Hey Gus. Hey Gus. Sorry. Since you got someone in the previous podcast to lick your shingles. or so, help me. Hey, Gus. Oh, sorry. Since you got someone in the previous podcast to lick your shingles, stop it.

Would you lick Bernie's finger? You really didn't think this out, did you? No, no. No, I would. I'd like to answer the question. Fuck no. I have to, kind of a bummer because when you cut your dominant hand, apparently they

make you take antibiotics like right away. So I couldn't drink the entire time we were here, and I was on my last day of antibiotics. You're not supposed to drink an antibiotics, it's all over the... Yeah, if you're a loser. It's all over the bill case, and we were up in the green room and they had beer up there and I said oh I can't drink because I'm on antibiotics And Jeff goes yes you can and I said it says on the pill bottle don't drink when you're in anibosias You know what happens when you drink on antibiotics? Nothing they're lying to you. He goes you'll look just like this

Exactly so don't drink on it. Sorry about it. Didn't he tell a story earlier about him running over deer? Like, didn't they make the label not to operate heavy machinery because of Jeff? He ran over deer. I didn't do that over deer. He ran over a deer and then felt bad about it and drove away. And then another deer came and then he ran over Gus. So he left out a part of that story when he told it earlier But before he called Griffin the first person you call was me and He said you know I ran over this deer. What should I do? And I said do you have a gun?

And he said no I said if you're not gonna shoot that deer in the head just drive away and leave it And then you call Griffin and Griffith convincing to go back and he killed another deer because of it And then you call Griffin and Griffin convince him to go back and he killed another deer because of it. Alright, what are you giving it? It's a really sad story. Listen, I have a picture of a kitty cat. It's very cute. I drew it. It's for you And then on the back is a very important schedule here. What is the... I don't know, it's a schedule for something. So what is the moral of that story? Always carry a gun everywhere you go. Yeah, if you're going to kill a deer, fucking do it right.

Who goes hunting with a truck? That seems effective. America. Go somewhere like in the middle, maybe. She's just giving you gentle guidelines. All right, amen. We'll go to you next there. Hi.

What are you guys' favorite moments of Fah-Tex Australia? Favorite moment of RTX Australia. I think this is going to sound really douchey. Do it. I apologize. But it was a really cool moment yesterday morning and this morning coming in to the building with everybody and like all you guys were waiting to get into the venue so like everyone saw us come in and like everyone's cheering and like being on that catwalk upstairs and having everyone cheer and stuff. It's like a really surreal moment and it makes me feel like, oh man, I'm really lucky to be here right now doing this.

If you happen to be late for a bus and people are like, hey, just like you have to go to the bathroom really badly and they're like, shut up, we don't care, get on the bus, make sure that when you get off the bus there's not 5,000 people applauding you on your way to the restroom. Although that was the most satisfying poop I've ever had. Australia! That would be a great way to potty train a kid. If you got 5,000 people to cheer them on every time they did it, you did it. You see this Johnny, all these people are

disappointed in you. They tell you poop in the right place. My favorite moment actually happened before the start of the show yesterday. And Matt has his two kids here and his oldest kid is named Webb. And I went up to Webb and said, Hey, what's going on Webb? How you doing? You excited about the show? And he goes, Come here, come with me. And we were up in that room right up there. And he took me by the hand and he took me out the door. And he took me to the railing. And everyone was down there below. And I was sitting there looking and I'm looking at Webb. And I like what are we doing and then everyone's there and they say hey Bernie I go hey everybody and they all go hey and wave back and then I look

at web and he's looking at me like this and looking at everyone down below and I go is this what you're doing web or you just bringing people out to the railing to say hello to everybody else and he goes they didn't yell as loud for you. So that question deserves a basketball of chips. The whole basket? There's other stuff in here. So I had the guardians remove them. Alright. I...

I think we only have time for one more question. Who's going to get the plan? Next one. I like how everyone just went like this. Is the last one. I'm going to pick it. No more, I guess. I'm going to pick it.

I need my beer. If you have money in your hand, he might pick you. Thanks. Put some kangaroo dollars in there. Sure, why not? I'm lazy. So first person literally took the shortest distance possible. Where's the camera? Where are we at? Over here? How you going? Hey, so Benny, we know you're at the climate change summit. I don't know what you're saying. What? What? We know you're at

the climate change summit at the White House. Are you able to tell us what the best part about it was? What was the best part at the climate change summit at the White House. Are you able to tell us what the best part about it was? What was the best part about the climate change summit at the White House? It was probably the coolest part, honestly, was being like in that room where there's like a Nobel Prize on the wall and right across from it was a medal of honor and then also like George Washington's battlefield sword was on the wall hanging there as well and I stole all that shit. Joel's gonna give it away at the next metal.

Did you get a basket of chips because fuck yeah. I think someone is concerned about climate change would either be happy with, would probably be happy with the plant, right? Like removing CO2 from the atmosphere. And there's a bottle opener in that plant as well. Why is there a bottle opener? I don't know. I just noticed it.

So thanks everyone for watching. Thanks everyone for listening. We're really pretty sure I was, oh, one more thing I want to say before I go. I forgot. I was supposed to say this. So I can say that we'll be back next year for our text Australia 2017.

that we'll be back next year for our Texas Australia 2017. We will be back February 3rd and 4th at the Sydney International Conference Center, down in Darling Harbor. So Sydney, I'm sorry you cannot get rid of us. Hey Gus. We should also mention this will be the get rid of us. Hey Gus. We should also mention this will be the biggest round of applause. It has air conditioning. You get air conditioning. You get air conditioning. You get air conditioning.

You get air conditioning. Go on, Tahnemobay. Go on, Tahnemobay 2016. Go on time about Bay 2016! Bye guys, I love you. Describe the show to a newcomer in a more familiar way. Do you like apples? Example. Together in Trempit hosts, Characombs, Characombs are free of ideas of nothing to do with this

podcast. Analyze various unsolved and rooster teeth's cryptic podcast, f*** face. Call to action. Feel free to add something show premise specific, but short. Listen to show name on Apple Spotify or wherever you get podcasts. It's f*** face, a podcast. Subscribe or no. You do yes? Subscribe or no, you do yes?