Rooster Teeth Podcast - The BROAD-cast - #342

Episode Date: September 22, 2015

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It's time to put your pedal to the metal. From the twisted minds behind Deadpool and Zombieland, an executive producers will learn that an Anthony Mackie comes a new Peacock original series, Twisted Metal, a high-octane action comedy based on the classic video game series. Anthony Mackie stars as John Doe, a motormouth outsider who must deliver a mysterious package across a post-apocalyptic wasteland. If he can survive the drive, also starring Stephanie Beatriz, Samoa Joe, Nev Campbell, Will Arnett, and Thomas Hayden Church. Twisted metal, streaming now only on Peacock. Hey everyone! Good evening.

Hello. Here is something wrong with this setup. Yeah, I'm here. How's it going everyone? Welcome to the Receive Podcast. Hello. Today's episode is brought to you by linda.com, Squarespace, and NatureBox. Thank you sponsors. See you in the up top.

I'm just good at ICS. I'm Barbara. I'm not Gus. No. I'm Chris. I'm Ashley. I'm Lindsay. Also not Gus. Also not Gus. Thank God. I think the way Harry here. Do we have to call you Gus anyway? Because you're not pleased. I can't go for it. Yeah. I'd like to believe I'm in Japan. Right. Is he still there? He might have come back. I think they just love Japan. That was awesome. They're going to I think Hawaii now. Yeah. He's been telling all of that. It's his anniversary. Okay. I'll allow it then. I'll allow the amazing trip. Loveable asshole. Long it even. I want to say like eight or nine years. It's been quite some time. Yeah. Something around that's not like one of those school land. It's not quite some time. Yeah. Something around it. But it's not like one of those cool.

It's not like a 10 year one type thing. No, nothing. So what you're saying is that you need to raise the stakes next. Well, it's just it's setting a really high precedent. It's just going to why. It's like, it's special. Next year they're going to space. No, no, no.

I think it's one of the space you would stay there. That would be pretty cool. Never come back. That's what absolutely leaves. Do you think Gus would be the type of person who goes and stays in those ice hotels? Yeah, have you seen this? I mean I've seen the main thing was bond. Mm-hmm. They are amazing I how would that be like a comfortable stay? They can't close yeah, and everything's covered in fur

I know that they have like fur laid out on top of the ice Obviously not like freezing literally freezing your ass off as you sit. Yeah, but I like to try it out Yeah, well it's one of those things too where it because every room is like you sit. Yeah, but I like to try it out. Yeah, well, it's one of those things too, where it, because every room is like an exhibit. Yeah. You don't have any privacy type thing. During the day, people come in like, Yeah, do you sleep there?

Yeah, you sleep there. It's a hotel. Otherwise, it wouldn't be a hotel, it just be an ice castle. But it's just like, it's a completely open room. No, no, it's like, they have rooms in like, individual little ice. There's like a common place area. Yeah, yeah, but then

during the day, all the rooms are open for people to wander because they're all like art exhibits. Yeah, essentially made of ice. Each like hotel room. Yeah, it sounds like to me like a Disney World kind of scenario where it's like they have different themes like here's the France room and here's the Germany room. It's like except it goes like really here's the ice room. That's a here's the ice room Here's the ice room. This one got a little hot so it's the water room today I just want to know what it's like if you take off the fur from the bed And it's just like an ice bed and it's like that probably be very interesting to have sexual relations on She's like There's a problem is like if they think like your tongue and everything is like So we go like oh god someone call room service. I'm stuck Wait, don't you have a crew dedicated like chisel's come along?

Which part? I got really thirsty. I tried to lick my bed didn't work Go on I'm a bit gentlemen. I mean no You're on the ladies podcast And then tell us what you're gonna say actually now talking about it. We, okay, I don't know if it's just us or like stereotypically But I feel like for like a lot of the females in this office We have really sexual way before the males do where the ones who are like dicks absolutely. Let's talk about them right now Yeah, does that mean that we're repressed or I don't know like super liberate

I think it just means we hang out with a lot of guys. We hang out with a lot of dicks Yeah, also I feel like I'm permanently 10 Yeah, I think but holes with the funniest thing in the world. I still think fart humor is pretty funny People don't like it. I don't do everything One of my one of my big problems as a person is it every time I fart instead of excusing myself like oh Yes, it's awesome So long and giggle to myself you know that I just like hard. Ashletta too.

Yes, I enjoy when you're in a mass crowd and you're like, I really have to fart and then you do it, you're like, no one knows. It's like a secret that everyone kind of thing. And then you walk away and like maybe like five feet away, you're like, oh my god. Oh, wow. Who was that?

That's what I had. If you always call me as if you have to let lose like a real loud one, you're like, oh my god. Oh my god. Who was that? That's what I had, Aang. If you always follow me as if you have to let lose like a real loud one, you forget your wearing headphones. Oh, yeah. And you're like, you're like, good, you're like, no one hurt. I hate you. And then everyone's just like,

there's definitely been times each of you in our office where I take out my headphones and like, do anyone hear that? Okay, good. No. So yes, I'm gonna do it accidentally when I'm falling asleep and my muscles are relaxing. Sleepards are the worst. And then, but it's always when I'm in bed with someone

well Oh, you're sleep. Okay, good love all of me, baby This hooting with me is like roulette like Russian roulette because I was like every every now and again He's like you're gonna go Like fart on his way. I'm just warning his crotchet. It's real, I think it's romantic. Yeah. You know, everyone's talking about like,

need the little air down there. Exactly. I've never tried that. Yeah, it's airy. Why do you have something to be said about being comfortable enough with someone that you can fart on them? Yeah. There is definitely a point.

I know like, oh, that's so sweet. We reach that level. And then you just like make out afterwards. Yeah, wonderful. Airy doesn't want to hear me fart, and he does want to fart around me. We reached that level. And then you just like make out afterwards. Like wonderful. Aaron, does it want to hear me fart and he does want to fart around me? I don't know. That's Megan Gavin. They're like that too.

They use separate bathrooms. You know what? Oh, honestly, here's the weird thing is, brings like that to he doesn't fart around me and he uses a separate bathroom when he needs to poop. Well, like I can understand the poop. That makes sense. That's just common, that's fucking common courtesy. Yeah, someone's not on your face.

No one likes that. But when people were like, oh, that's's so weird like if I was taking a shower And Michael comes in and brushes his teeth at the same time whatever who cares? She'll tweeted us of like oh, no, that's not that's weird Yeah, they were like that's a shared life and honestly that's also probably him trying to get some sneaky peaks Maybe yeah, but it's also like a shower and you're not doing something gross If anything, it's well would be weird I mean, I mean shower while like

you take a dump while he's in the shower. No, that's awful. That like trapping him in. That's that's yeah. And it's like he's steamy. So it's like making you snore that much worse. That is the worst. That's a James Bond villain killing right there.

Is there anything worse than farting in a bathtub? Oh, no, that's reason. It's so funny. It's the way. No, but for some reason it smells even worse. It just just smell is so funny. For some reason, it smells even worse. It just does. It just does. It just does.

It just does. It just does. Go on. It's just funny. I wonder too, though, if it's because you're relaxing, then it's all contained and comes all together right here. You got all the bubbles. And it actually goes straight up in your nostrils.

The concentrated blast. Yeah. That's true. I understand. But you like it, Chris? Well, I think it's, if you're going fart, the funniest place to do it is in water. Now I'm just picturing you in a bathtub with all the candles lit and like the lights are dim.

All of a sudden, you're just like, pfft, it can work, Chris. Like Ashley's the little little one. Then the gold just becomes the single, the candles. That's great. Or you just pretend like there's proximity minds. There's like a toy boat floating around there. What if I could sing this with my fart?

Done. He's like, my battleship. So I think this is the first time we've ever had three girls on the podcast. I thought you were gonna say a full five minutes of fart talk, but yes. Exactly. We're off to a good start.

Yeah, we've had two girls before. But number three. Well, actually four with Chris. Yeah. I was gonna say the three of you, and I'm the male representative of the world. Of course, guys. I bring the testosterone to the table. Tyler brought this up, but was gonna say the three of you and I'm the mail representative. Of course, I bring the testosterone to the Tyler brought this up and that we this would be the broadcast.

Which I'm just like yes, I called it the boot to you earlier. Boop to you. There's something I really like about the word broad. It's like you can't say it normally can't just be like, oh yeah, that party had to be like, oh yeah, that broad. It's northeastern. Yeah, I like it to you It like carries weight like it sounds like it should be an insult, but it's not There's um, oh god. There's some TV network that recently rebranded. It's like all women and some stuff But it it's something really bizarre almost inappropriate like that like you know like

Bitches tube I wish I could remember it. I mean it was interesting people mark later on. But it's like I'm like period pals. I'm all the problem. Why? Who are you? What? Who is your audience?

Yeah. Well I mean we are period pals. It's true. First period pals right? Six period. I wonder how many of us in this office are synced up. That's what I was okay. I was thinking in my head.

I was like, is that an appropriate question to ask? No, I was wondering. I was like, I don't think it is. Chris probably thinks he's on our cycle too. He's like, I'm very scared right now, because I feel like I'm on the same month as you guys. He's like, what's happening? I don't know.

It's hard to see because I think a lot of us are on the pill and that kind of dictates when your cycle is gonna happen. Yes, a modern woman usually is. It does, although I have noticed that even with the pill, like the body sometimes really tries. Yeah. It's like you don't understand, I'm feeling all these things. They're like, I'm sorry, you have like four girls

that you hang out with two of it and we all wanna be together once. All of us are angry right now, what's happening? Oh, okay. Here's happening? Oh, okay? Here's the big question is is it more responsible for all the women in the office to try and sync up? So we all just have one really shitty week. I feel like it's a guy's hide or do we spread it out a little bit? So then everyone is shitty just part of the time. I don't know. What do you think Chris? Yeah? Chris I'm a you're a sounding board here

Man, I would you rather as a representative of all males everywhere? It's like slowly taking out the band-aid just just rip it off all the girls in the office be like really angry and emotional for a week or like It's staggered. I think it's cool if you guys are all in sync just because I think it's like It's got like some science behind the perfect storm like that's kind of interesting that it's like it feels like something out of a sci-fi. I just like it sounds like they've hung out so much they're sinking up like a line. It's doom day. Everyone's form formation. We also know like during that week you're not filming anything with Hey, everyone for information. Yeah, hold. We also know like during that week,

you're not filming anything with the girls in live action. Like you guys aren't doing news. Like nothing's happening with the girls that we just like something like women are superior. Yeah, but for that we, there's a lot of talk about this. Oh my god, nothing but chocolate. Yeah, ooh.

See, I think this could work out well for us. That's what I'm saying. I'm more blessed. Guys don't have an equivalent to that right? They don't have like a synch. Supposedly, do you guys have anything like that? Like do you have? Supposedly, people say that men do have like cycles, but it's different. It's like emotional and chemical stuff, but just for them it's like different like times of when they want to help each other. Yeah, I was wondering if it becomes more like got punched in the face. Yeah, that's like that's the equivalent

That's the thing yet. Do you ever want to punch someone in the face? I got to watch road the only time I get really actually Violin is if someone hits me in the balls Okay, how many times does that happen? Does that happen a lot? Well, you know, okay, so who's sacked apps you? Like purposefully or it doesn't matter it the time Intent is around actually like Chris He's getting emotional about this The only time I've actually punched someone was it was I got

Someone's a bunch of balls real quick here in that no, yeah, no, I mean he uses like it's a thing It was in high school and like it's a thing. It was in high school and I'm not gonna do anything. I was having like a bunch of friends who were hanging out playing video games, sleepover, what not, you know, it wasn't called sleepover but you know. Yeah, we were playing, you know, and at some point I was like I would sleep, right? And I fell asleep on the floor and I had some other friends They were they were wrestling on a bed Oh, no, and then one of them and I was sleeping one of them fell on my balls. Oh God as you were sleeping I was I was sleeping so I was like asleep and then I woke up to someone what I thought was just attacking my balls

and so I did this like, I just, I went like Hulk and I just turned around and I started punching in the face. Whoa. And he was like, what? He didn't know what was going on. Because what happened to him was he just was wrestling and then got knocked off the bed. And then I turned around.

He didn't know that he fell on my balls. To him, I just like, he was like, whoa, whoa, whoa whoa whoa whoa calm down, but to me. I thought you jumped on my balls And so I was like I went all like I want to see whole Chris this sounds awesome No, it happened it happened once here with who with Aaron What do you do? Of course they kicked me the balls. It's like straight up just for fun. So no He was once he recording it. No, how are you still friends? So what happened was I it was it was in In live action and I was talking to someone and I had I was kind of standing in a way that I think

encouraged someone to Kick me in the balls and so you were asking for it. No, I was just standing in a way which like I just was Like standing like this. Yeah, it'll demonstrate like kind of like this Yeah, with my butt out and my legs. That seems like a my legs spread. Yeah, well Well, my legs were spread a bit more like you're open and then so the funhouse guys were here And I think Aaron was trying to you know be funny be silly, you know And so he went to go kick and he was gonna like I think just playfully like You know, oh pretend vain to kick me in the balls he went to go kick and he was gonna like, I think just playfully like,

oh pretend, feigned to kick me in the balls, but he actually kicked me in the balls. Just a friendly ball tap, you know? But hard. Did you culk out on him? I almost, like, I had, oh man, it was weird. It was weird. I'm raised from that sleepover. His PTSD is so weird.

It was weird though, because Adam Covec was there, and he, fun house to just kind of come over we're just like yeah yeah yeah and then I started like almost attacking Aaron and it was like it's a weird thing for him I think because it was like mom and dad fighting yeah it wasn't a fun house it wasn't like it wasn't there was no like silliness to it I was like you Chris actually silent rage to I've seen him before when shit pisses him off He just gets really like zero killer crazy where it's like I'm gonna strangle you I I accidentally hit an x-boy her in a mine in the balls. We were still dating at the time

Wasn't like after we broke up I hid in the middle balls, but he it was like I was 17 at the time and he was 19 and He was like on his bed kind of like in a curled up position, but on his back And so I came in and I was gonna like slap him on the butt because his butt was right there But just as I wound up to slap him he started rolling forward and I just In the balls and he was like underwear So there was no barrier. You just left his ball. Oh my god Did it was like one of those machines where you lift up one of the balls and they go,

pretty much, yeah. What happened after that? He continued to be in that fetal position. Yeah, let's see, before he screamed in pain. He was competing. Yeah, he was in the correct position for pain afterwards. And I was just like, I am so sorry.

Like, I was gonna hit your butt. You can never make up for that. You just gotta leave him alone for a little bit. Technically your fault, but I'll let it slide. He was also asking for it. See, I've only kicked someone in the balls intentionally once because I have no, even as a female, like the worst thing you could ever do

to a man, like that's terrible. But I feel like this guy deserved it. So in high school, friend of mine thought it'd be really funny as I was talking to other friends. He came up behind me, gave me a titty twister on both Nuts as hard as he could yeah, and I was really pissed off So I just immediately turned around and went that's Borey

Time to keep someone in the balls. That isn't that is a measured response. It was likely to for tat the president would be proud of you Thanks Obama He would tweet and be out you should come to the we should bring those balls yeah yeah that's all deserved yeah i'll be the next and that's something that you should do yeah i feel like that should be the american military at this point where are we not just kicking people in the sack yeah right get it done it doesn't matter i

know it's dirty it's cool it already do so many dirty things everything still told it's gonna hurt real bad and everyone will just everyone will quit everyone wants peace at that point Exactly, please just in the treaty man sign the treaty getting kicked in the vage Tots what also hurts a fucking lot. Yes, it does you obviously don't know this Christmas I haven't heard a lot people talk about this But if you nail the clip just right it shock waves through your whole body. It's one thing. Not a good way. And the whole bone too. The fact that it's like you got the bone.

Oh. I think we're all learning a lot. Oh yeah. Maggie twats walks me all the time. And I'll be doing like X-ray and back. Yeah. Wait, what are you doing? I'm like talking about X-ray and back.

Is it a little Maggie? Yeah, yeah. Lovely little Maggie. So I'll be like, hey guys, we're going to record this next week. And we've got to do this. And this is very official. And business-y and show come over and go go and whack me in the plate. I'm like It's gonna be next week. We're gonna do this her headband hides DV super yeah, she's a little imp

We I don't know if we're allowed to talk about this not in the politically incorrect way, but we When funhouse was in town we played dodgeball against them and I was the only girl playing and Bruce threw a ball so hard directly at my vagina. Nothing has hit so perfectly dead on to just like my very delicate area. And I was out because it was a fair shot and the whole time I'm just like still counts. I'm just like I'm so sorry and I'm like it's a good shot.

I'm starting a chance to join so it's supposed to but I think I fucked up my pinky it might be broken. I actually still haven't gone to check it out because I got to work but yeah I just typed through it but it hurts. Yeah they were saying you're supposed to play in. I went see broker finger. Yeah, I run into a lot of stuff. I'm clumsy.

That's how bent it is. Yeah, you can kind of tell. And it's real. It's not in the wrong direction. Yep. So that'll be tomorrow when I go to the doctor. What'd you do it? I run into a lot of stuff.

I'm really, really, really clumsy. Gavin knows so does Michael. So I was literally just walking around my house and I hit my hand on the wall and I was like Oh, I thought my finger like snap with it. I was like, I guess I guess I just broke this. All right cool Kind of yeah, a lot of females do I do know that like not even being stereotypical apparently that's a thing But yeah, a little bit. Yeah, right. Yeah, I find that like I will get bruises. We'll go how do you think I don't know? Yeah, I run into tables all the time

So I get the bruise like right here. Yep. I just like you like a bunch of money on you and you're like coffee table level Yeah, absolutely. Mm-hmm I've woken up with several bruises where I'm like what do they do to myself? Is that a female thing? I think it holds yeah, I mean it has to do with blood blood flow and surface vessels and I don't know some science I found out recently. I was at the dentist and she's asking what medication I'm on. I'm like, I'm just on birth control and she's like, okay, that explains a few things.

And I was like, oh, what's going on? She's like, some birth controls can make your gums swollen and sensitive. And I'm just like, oh, did not know that. Noted. I feel like I should have known that after taking care of the whole world. Thanks for the heads up, man. 10 years. I'm like I should have known that after taking guys' clothes up. Thanks for the heads up, man.

10 years. I'm I'm really probably like not as careful with stuff as I should be. I was on this birth control. I really liked it was when I was like lower hump lower hormone one so I don't go crazy every month and it doesn't like maybe gain weight and all that sort of stuff. I really liked it. I went to the doctor for a new prescription. She's like, we don't do that one very much anymore because it increases your chances of blood clots. Jesus. And I was like, worth it. I was like, it doesn't maybe get in my way. There's a lot of shit that comes with birth, birth control. Yeah. Chris, if you were to take it, you should know this. You should be careful.

There they are though starting a male birth control. Like a pool. I have seen that. Yeah. Yeah. Would you would you take male like a pill-based birth control. Like a poor bitch. I have seen that. Yeah. Yeah. Would you take male like a pill-based birth control? Like as a dude, would you do that? I think you can be so calm. But like what are the details on this? I think it's just like lower your sperm count

to the point of like nut and stuff. Unless your sperm is micro-elps. You're not getting pregnant. Yeah. I might, I would do it. I might be sad about it. Why would you sense you like to get me out there Chris? I just it's yeah, it does kind of feel like you're gonna lose them anyway.

I know but at least they're also like that's you just want We don't know they don't either they go like You know they speak they're like Freedom and they skip right into like a little baggy, or a baggy. Oh, oh, okay, yeah, yeah. My god, I was like, where am I having sex with? I'm not an aggressive story. I'm not an aggressive story.

I've got tougher wear. Yeah, like, or even worse, like, out into like, the cruel night air, or a, or a, or a poor woman space. Yeah, poor a wall or or a poor woman space Yeah, here. Yeah, poor women when they finally make it into the welcoming cave and it's like that's a wonderful Here yeah, yeah, the whole swimming there I'm imagining like this should be like a storming Normandy scenario where Chris is like go go go go Tom Hanks is crying No, I mean mean, it's one of those things where, yeah, I'm all for not accidental baby things. Right, as you should be. But it would kind of, I don't know.

Would you feel like a part of you is not, like, you're not as connected with that person? With what person? Like, the person you're having sex with oh So I'm talking about just like oh just be like so low just yeah, just what's hand do they have if you're riding solo anyway? Is this just for your benefit? Still anyways, this way you're not done. It's like fireworks At least they have company. I don't know. In their death.

They could die together. Come here, little friend. We died in hell. I'll embrace you as you die. Tonight we die. I'll be busy. The moment where like they don't know where they're going and they like hope. They're so young.

Yeah. But that just happened. Maybe I shouldn't personify it my sperm maybe that's no you should this needs to be a children's book right now yeah Chris teaches you I like I would like to hear you talk about this for a long time why you were never born by Chris to my yeah your sperm began with hope but it only ended in sadness you all died together play them a little dirge I dirt. You're like oh I'm getting

close but on the sad music. Maybe a few of them have a suicide pack they're like look I know we're not gonna make it but it's cool let's give it a shot. Just watch that movie. They go off the club together. Never seen it. Spoiler. That's everyone knows the end of film in Louise. That's like no secrets. You know the end of film in Louise. There's that's like no secrets like I'm like yeah, you know the end of film in the All right, I saw the movies yeah, yeah There's no like that's not the the secret the secret is the rest we had a great wonderful adventure And then we drove off a fucking cliff because they're crazy bitches. Mm-hmm. Well, they were I mean, I heard they wrote absolutely. Okay. Yeah, we're gonna go jail and yeah, or get shot by the

do-it-thing. I don't think they necessarily they didn't they didn't have to do it. They didn't have to do all that they kind of escalated themselves Of course, but it made for a good movie and in awesome ending we're like all right this yeah That's how it ends cool. Drive that car right off the car. Yeah, I do like I did see some people that were like thumb on Louise Is not progressive at all and I was like I don't know. The whole entire point is them being like, I no longer want to do these things that men in my life have told me that I have to do. So they go on this adventure, no offense, Chris. But it's very, obviously,

stop telling Thamma and Louise to do shit. No, Chris. She doesn't have to be a waitress if she doesn't want to be. Damn it. Exactly. Let her drink while turkey. Either way.

But yeah, I don't know. And especially because I identify with them because I'm very much of a tomboy, but What yeah, what surprise why hi? Yeah, I would have never guessed that from you. I love those movies like the movie is great. Yeah, I'm all about that girl power What's them a mystic pizza recently too on the note of Female empowering movies mystic pizza. Yeah, Julia Roberts. I've never seen that one My god, all right mostly like any like for me female empowering movies. Mystic Pizza? Yeah, Julie Roberts. I've never seen that one. Oh my god, all right. It's just so fun.

Mostly, like, any like, for me, female empowering movies mostly involve like women, I like comedies. And I like it when women are as unashamedly dirty comedy as men. I feel like that's me again. Like, people are like, oh, what's it like being the only female achievement? I'm like, I have the same sense of humor.

I don't know, like when I talked to Jeff about it He was like he seems like you've fit in. I really don't want token female And I never want to be that ever in my life. So yeah, I identify completely with those Well, I think that's like a lot of us girls at Rooster Teeth. Yeah, we identify with guys And we're not like super prissy and super like what are the same thing? A lot of us are totally different, which I like I totally be prissy Yeah, I could totally do it. but that's not how you are. Yeah, and that's not like you could obviously talk about farts and dicks and butts and

shit as we just did for a 10 minute, as we did for the entire opening of the podcast, but I went to my first tailgate this weekend. I've never been tailgating ever, but Brunei took me to my first UT game lost by a point as a UT game. I'm sure it's a sports ball smart night. But I've never been to a tailgate anything like that. They're way more sophisticated than I

ever imagined. This one was sponsored by some alcoholic coconut water. It was crazy. It was really I mean, it was cool. So it wasn't like someone's tailgate. It was someone's tailgate, but like they still these things are so

big. Now they've got like sponsors and people will bring in booze for them someone's tailgate, but like they still, these things are so big now they've got like sponsors and people will bring in booze for them. I saw one that was like they had one of those shipping containers with the side cutout and they had a couch and a TV in it. All this crazy stuff. Oh man. Jail gates are apparently an art form.

They really are. If you've driven like, if you can try to go through campus at any time during a game, one you can't. So don't even bother. But if you have a chance to walk through it, they see stuff like that. One, you can't. So don't even bother. But if you have a chance to walk through it, they see stuff like that all the time where people will bring out tents or have a part of their house there and they're like, gab and here all weekend.

I know you see game. It was like within the first year that I moved here, it was me, Ali Baker, Bernie and Jack. And we parked somewhere until walk through all the tailgating to go get to the stadium. And it was just like blocks and blocks of tents. Yep. And I'm just like, how many people are tailgating to go get to the stadium. And it was just like blocks and blocks of tents. Yep. And I'm just like how many people are tailgating? They're like probably a couple thousand. Well, and here's the weird thing is a lot of them don't even go to the game. No, that for the tailgating. You just stay in the TV. I've never been to a UT football game. I went to UT.

You do, but I went to one. Well, I'm just saying, people are like mad. Like, will you went to UT and you didn't go to any games? I'm like, I don to UT. You did, but I got to do this. I went to one. Well, I'm just saying, people are like mad. They're like, will you went to UT and you didn't go to any games? I'm like, I don't really. Oh yeah, people give me a lot of shit for that. Yeah, but I did go tailgating a couple times. It's like, I like food and beer and hanging out. Yeah, there's all that.

And friends. And it was an awesome experience. I met like a whole bunch of Bernie's college buddies. It really, really fun. Yeah, but where I got to see him. I have, have I see some some frat where there were a lot of dudes make sense yeah yeah and I'm pretty sure there are some Greek letters involved I'm just a part of the campus sigma Kai beta gamma family I know I was a member of a fraternity in college you're a a friend. Yeah, I did not know that my friend started one

He was like you want to join. I was like yeah, I'll be the only female cool Seems to be very common in your life. Yeah, I don't know Subbrows you're just like fuck Who wants to shock on this beer my friends? I saw the most amazing video on the internet of this girl who there was a big pint glass in front of her and she hands free, picked it up with her mouth and downed the whole thing in like five seconds. Was it Lindsay?

Yeah. It was not, but now. I wouldn't remember, so maybe. Now I have a life goal. She was a badass. I think that would be bad for your teeth. I'm sure. I know, but remember I like Kara can open bottles with your teeth. I'm sure I'm no doubt But remember like like Kara can open bottles with her teeth

I'm sure that's not good Yeah, I know that's what it's awesome. It's a great party trick. It's true. I can't do anything that cool I mean, we're at the point in the future where we can just get like crazy strong fake teeth if we happen to like Sure, when I'm here, right? You're done. My only part of trick. I can light a match book. I can light one of the matches, one handed, most of the time. Wow. Do we have any magic books here? Sometimes I fling the match book and it starts, like, I throw fire at people.

Which also works as a party trick. You're like, fire. You're like, like, what is run? Yeah, it's, even if I don't clarify what I'm doing before I do it, then it works. Because it's like, either I- All of a sudden, fire. Either result. Fire happens, whether or not it's even don't clarify what I'm doing before I do it then it works because it's like either I all of a sudden fire either Result fire happens whether or not it's like in my hand or like oh I know that too well is that it that's her oh my god I thought it was a can no

Pretty cool. It's women's my hero. Not only she looks fashionable is shit and I never hair Yeah, she's dressed like Jackie. Jackie O is she's doing that. Not only did she pick that up with her teeth, which is like, that's heavy. Yup, and glass, but she chugged that beer in two seconds. Yeah, damn, I am a little bit attractive to her right now. Me too, I watched that, I watched that and I was like, why am I turned on right now?

You want to test us and hang out after the podcast. Yeah, you want to think of our hang out after the podcast. Yeah. You want to sync up our periods. Yeah. Funny enough, UT, I was just thinking about it, and I totally forgot until you mentioned the fire. One of the first experiences I had at UT was like, I was such a weirdo in high school, even worse than I am now.

I'm still really weird. So I went to my first frat party, I was like, I'm going to make some friends. Hi guys, I'm drinking my beer. So they have flaming Dr. Peppers, where you'll light a shot and you drop drop it into beer and it tastes like a Dr. Pepper when you chug it. That's the whole point So me being my clumsy self. I light the shot. I drop it into my beer But it hits the edge of the beer and knocks over onto the counter Which is full of liquor and the entire counter including the cabinet above it goes

Insane soup and I kid you not I literally went okay, bye and I just left their house including the cabinet above it goes oh my god that's all in vain super cool I literally went okay bye and I just left their house I'm done that's awesome sorry lambda Kai come on that was all that's a great answer I think to this

I was like girl who let the kitchen on fire I love to sleep off like maybe there's just a word you didn't know the frat don't worry like now there's this legend of like ooh that bitch you burned us like they have legends about you. Yeah.

I dream about her sometimes. I'm pretty good. You came to our party, started our whole house on fire. I'm going to, man, that was high. I'm going to pull a Gus here and read this real quick here. We want to thank our sponsor, Linda.com slash Rucherti, the online learning platform with over 3,000 on-demand video courses to help you strengthen your business, technology, and creative skills. For a free, 10-day trial, visit linda.com slash ruchoteth.

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I don't know if you guys saw the Let's Play Live documentary, but that was awesome. I lived it. You did it. Yeah. It's funny when you watch footage later too, and you're like, oh, God, let's play live documentary, but that was awesome. I lived it. You did it. It's funny when you watch footage later too, and you're like, oh, God, it's like almost like PTSD, where you totally forgot that that happened. You're like, oh, man, like the whole thing with Jack and Jeff fighting, I was like, oh,

yeah, that did happen. There was a moment of tension. It doesn't make you go like that skill. Like, oh, yeah. Daniel did an awesome job on that. It was great. And I didn't even know that like documentary editing was a particular skill, but apparently it is. That's really learned.

I don't feel like the idea of negotiation. Someone turns up and they're like, we've got hostages. We want to negotiate and they're like, I learned it online. Listen, I took that course on linda.com, give me the phone. That's just sure. Especially because you know that all the hostages come out like like what just happened

I went to learn about college I don't know some college student got on the line and was like give me the money give me the people It was like all right. It worked and she lit the kitchen on fire Funny enough. I was talking to Michael about it It was just like the difference between Texas people and people in the Northeast or New Jersey But whenever I visit I have friends and family in New York. And it feels like when I talk to people, it's like a hostage exchange. Where like, if I want to buy something, I'm like, I need a book and they're like, five bucks.

I'm like, okay, oh my God, give me the book. Oh, I'm out of here. But in Texas, everyone's like very, very overly polite. So they're like, hi, how are you doing? How's your day going? See some people prefer the very straight forward, like, five bucks. It scares me. It incriminates.

Like they don't want to waste time. Well, we went to the Streamies last week, which was super cool, but one of the people I met there, I was super excited about this, is we met Joseph Khan who did the, like the Greedy Power Rangers short movie. Oh, yeah. Oh, right.

He did the, like the bad blood music video for Taylor Swift as well. I think We met him. He was really close like oh, yeah, that's amazing and we were one of the last people in the lobby because Bernie and Gavin were doing an interview So we're just we're all waiting for them and and he comes over and we're like hey, you know join us We're waiting for people and you know what do you do and talking to seven? He's like where are you from and we're like Oh, we're from Austin in these two because we were with is Meg and I and we were with Bruce and Adam. Oh, yeah. And we're like in these two we're from here and he's like, so that's explains why you're so nice and why they both look like Tom. I think we'll all take that one. I

like the period of time where Tom Hardy was cool, and everyone was like, yeah. And then was it the John from John and Kate plus eight, wore it all the time, and everyone's like, Tom Hardy is not cool anymore, not at all. I remember that show, John and Kate plus eight. Yeah, that was just Kate plus eight. When did Tom Hardy become not cool? Because he's like amazing.

I still love his designs, but I guess socially it was like, eh. Yeah, the hipsters Hello, Bernie Did you talk about the candy Johnson controversy that came out? No, but I think we should I think we should so there was a one thing about the Makeup by me. Thank you. I know videos. Yes, candy Johnson. So she's amazing. So you gotta turn on the Streaming I had like intro videos for Yeah, so each of the categories,

with the nominees were introduced by YouTubers. So there was the action movie kid. There was Candy Johnson and she introduced, I think it was the lifestyle, or either it was either a lifestyle for a person. And she, her YouTube channel is all about using makeup to look like someone else. So she, you know, it's like contour

and it's impressions. And I feel like cartoon characters and yeah, as you do, Melissa, that was awesome. She is super cool. She's very talented people. So she's super nice. I bet.

I appreciate that. But as part of that, she did. Um, Bernie, what was the, uh, what was the character? What was the one girl? What was the character? What was one of the nominees? Um, Marvin was the dude from Frank versus Frank. It was their, their blog that they do. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. And there was a couple of their females and one of the females was Lily Singh, super woman.

Super woman. Right. And she's, she's brown. Brown. She's Indian. She is Indian specifically. So, she's a woman. So, you know, as part of that, she did the makeup to do it and she used dark makeup because she's a very fair lady. And I didn't think of it. Of course, she was doing those impressions for everyone. The internet apparently erupted saying it was blackface and that it was really, really racist. I remember watching that thinking like wow that's incredible. I was nothing but impressed. And then I think I was

burning who was telling me like he's like did you hear but like the controversy behind that was like what could have possibly happened like why would people be upset and he said it was the her putting her darker skin on and it's like blackface but it's like she also by the way turned herself into dudes and she also at one point put in blue eye contacts is she biased? yeah it's I don't know people are very sensitive and very like a whole reaction. there's just the opposite funny enough and towards meca I've seen people get upset because she didn't also cosplay and there were people messaging her of like you can't do that because you're black and I was like why what does it matter matter why it's not like what you want?

So are you kidding me? I am so tired of outrage culture. It's it's getting a little A little crazy I'm gonna start a hashtag right now Outrage this is this is hashtag outrage outrage outrage It's just it's exhausting when you don't like you feel like you can't say anything you can't make any kind of jokes because people Want to be really mad about everything. Yeah, I don't know what what happened in Life and all the sudden everyone's very sensitive about

Things that shouldn't be an issue that it was just like you're taking this as an offensive thing when it's like It wasn't meant to be offensive But for just like you're taking this as an offensive thing when it's like it wasn't meant to be offensive but for some reason you're trying to get into this. There's a lot of stuff that's, you know, there's so much stuff that's actually offensive. I know. To focus on the looks. Yeah. One of the certain times where we have to explain, I mean, even simple shit like X-ray and Vav, where something was totally not even trying to reference anything offensive at all,

but someone is like, hey, I noticed what you did there and that's not okay. I was like, that's not at all like we mentioned a book and someone took that as like That's a metaphor for this and it's offensive to me. I'm like, okay, I'm sorry. I apologize, but you know at some point You got to kind of understand or at least like look at it for a moment and think am I reading too far into this? If not by all means, we'll hit the book. Yeah, I know Dan books. I'm book is boring to that. Yeah. Get those books the hell out of here. Burn them all. The weird part is it doesn't last either. It doesn't sing. Dan is to kill the lion. Yeah. He went back to work and there was not a single

police officer was needed. For did you want to just come on? Yeah. Come on. There's a better. It feels like you're a director on set people hear you I hope Yes, maybe come people come people here There's an extra mimosa glass right there is going unused burning. I think you look very classy I think it's intimidated by the all female cast to be the only male here. It's true. Wait a second. Just kidding.

I was like, oh no, it's like, yeah. I was like, yeah. Almost all, wait. I'm sorry. I think they talked about this at RTX and I guess we'll bring it up a little bit, but we're starting to work on a concept for a more female casted podcast. Led by Chris. Led by Ed. Led by Chris, of course.

Yes. So, I don't know if you like this, and you probably would like that kind of show. Yeah. One thing I like that, and you mentioned it too, is as far as like us launching that project, is we talk about, we are all very different, and we are clearly all females, the ones who are at the office, but we're still very different personalities. So it's kind of dumb to market it, it is just like, here's the ladies podcast. I'm not saying we're a threat.

A guest for girls. Yeah, very forest of like, I'm trying to reach out to a female audience. So everything's pink and fluffy, which is like, that's great. If you like it, but it's not encompassing all of female aspects in my opinion. So I like that we're marketing it as another podcast that happens to have a majority female cast. Yeah, it's just Ashley, Barbara and Lindsay hanging out. Exactly. That's it.

With maybe Chris every now and then. And of course, slightly more vagina jokes. Yes. Way more of a judgment. And tons of period humor, because. Yeah. But yeah, so if you come through on every month, if you're in some like that, feel free to tweet us and let us know what kind of stuff you want us

to talk about or what kind of direction you see that taking, because we're always open to feedback and ideas, because it's still in development and still working on a concept for it. I for one demand more juices to go with my champagne. I failed you. Mary last but we wanted to drink tonight and I was like, it'd be nice to have some champagne maybe. I'm digging the champagne.

I think we can get really exciting with it. Great for juice. Yes. Canberra juice. What do you mean? She was telling me about the blueberry or blackberry? Okay. Yeah. So, it's on Christmas. Everyone knows a couple things. Mimosa is champagne with orange juice, preferably just a little splash of orange juice. Bellini is traditionally with peach puree, but there's this brunch place, you guys. There's this brunch place that's in Austin and they do these seasonal

Bellinis the first one I ordered came it was purple it was cloudy and purple anyway The fuck is this still gonna drink it supposed to be peach This is delicious. I'll take five it turns out it's heading to my mouth So get ahead like blueberries in it and all I think I might have had I'm gonna try and pronounce this correctly like all of the hippies with like me to assi assi I don't know that's how John but juice pronounces it like AC AI AI and there's like that weird little like

I've been saying that a lot. I think I'm a guy I haven't seen that me too. I've pronounced so many of the like new healthy foods wrong. Kienwa, I always saw it in a grocery store and I was like, Kwanowa, I should try that sometime. And like Kale? What's that? Wait, what are you trying to say? Kienwa, I don't know. I was just like, I don't know.

I was like, I'd like to drink some holla. Hala. Have you had moments though where like you know the word, but your brain just has a moment of dirt basically all the time. Yeah. Like there was a story I went to them all. It was called the indigo room and I looked at it. I went indigo.

Oh indigo. Indigo. Indigo. That's my father. I'll prepare for that. Well, It was a total Ron burgundy moment. I was I was walking past it was the time it was a time-winter cable building, but I'd also just been to the waffle Oh, and I was oh, it's so jealous. Didn't I have a waffle? Have you been to it? No, that is willpower. It was a place that's all waffles was a little bit more powerful. It was a little bit more powerful. It was a little bit more powerful. It was a little bit more powerful.

It was a little bit more powerful. It was a little bit more powerful. It was a little bit more powerful. It was a little bit more powerful. It was a little bit more powerful. It was a little bit more powerful. It was a little bit more powerful. It was a little bit more powerful.

It was a little bit more powerful. It was a little bit more powerful. It was a little bit more powerful. It was a little bit more powerful. It was a little bit more powerful. It was a little bit more powerful. It was a little bit more powerful. It was a little bit more powerful.

It was a little bit more powerful. It was a little bit more powerful. It was a little bit more powerful. It was a little bit more powerful. It was a little bit more powerful. It was a little bit more powerful. It was a little bit more powerful. It was a little bit more powerful. It was a little bit more powerful. It was a little that brush drawn. I never been. I just know it's called bacon. I just remember it because I ordered, I went the one time I went there, but had something on my menu called bacon fries. And I was like, I'm at a place called bacon. Everything here is bacon.

So I mentioned bacon fries, just being like little strips of bacon in the shape of fries that come just like on a plate. And it's just all bacon. And it was just french fries with like a little bit of bacon bits on it. Oh, I was like, every dish includes bacon. Yeah, I was disappointed. I don't blame you. I would I would actually really like just make it right.

Bacon was a gym guy who says that in a salad bacon, it just becomes a whole thing of finding the bacon. Find the salad. Yeah, that's it. It's a cool search before I forget just going by I walk by the time Warner cable building. All I saw was the waffle Warner cable building. All I saw was the waffle, waffle cable, doesn't it? Oh, it took me, like I was looking at that. It had the time Warner logo, you know, the little eye thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All of that. And I was like, the waffle cable.

No. Oh, because the logo looks the same. Nope, it doesn't look remotely like it. Oh, because the logo looks the same. Nope, it doesn't look remotely like it. Either my eyesight is terrible or I really like waffles. It's all like your brain is in the old yet. I should probably start wearing glasses regularly, but I just can't be bothered. Do you have contacts?

I do also which I don't wear. Oh. I have glasses in my bag, but everyone said that I look like I wear fake nose with my glasses. What? The bridge of my nose is really low, so there's no, I don't know, it doesn't come out far enough, and it looks like my nose starts right under the bridge of the glasses. And I looked at it, and now I can't unsee it, and I think that I look like I have a fake nose when I wear glasses, so I stopped.

Oh my God, I could see how that would ruin you. Safety is not that important. Not a people think I'm wearing a fake nose when I wear glasses, so I stopped. Oh my god. I could see how that would ruin you. Safety is not that important. Not a people think I'm wearing a fake nose. Fuck that. I was in a fake nose and like... Yeah, like you know what I'm talking about? You know what I'm talking about? Yeah, I mean, in fact, if someone wants to grab me,

my bike, I will show you what it looks like. Well, Bernie what? My bag is in, he's, Bernie left. Mario, it's in the makeup room. You're the best. Yeah, but more, more, more, more, more. You're the best. Let's replace Christmas, Mario. I'm kidding you stay mind for me

I really don't want to move the mic Patrick. Oh, would you like a shame? I'm hallowy absolutely here shut up. You're done. I know you got lazy right or laser eyes Are you get lazy? Is it like yeah? How was it was it weird? Yeah, it's weird Michael's thinking about doing it So we might actually have some questions. Yeah, I've never seen someone get more fucked up by it Here we go. Thank you. Yeah, yeah, weird. Michael's thinking about doing it. So we might actually have some questions for you. Yeah, I see you I've never seen someone get more fucked up by it. Here we go. Thank you. Yeah. Thank you very much. Everyone Like you're still suffering from it. My eyes are you to real MVP All right, so look at this all right, Muriel VP All right, right normal nose normal nose. No, it's okay from the front. But look at the side like I'm wearing a fake nose See to me. I just don't have an the urban trendy. Yeah, I don't I don't know You look like your about to go to a meeting a nose to me. I could do meetings

You're walking on the New York street right now. Actually, very professional Especially like you got your grown-up outfit on I wear a grown-up clothes. Yeah, like that I'm wearing my Poo-sheen shit. So, you know, I will all I've got is I realized that my wardrobe is entirely like video game and pop culture mash-up shirts. Yeah. Entirely. I was like, well you're perpetually 10. I am perpetually 10. That is me and my shirt. Occasionally I find my clothes in like the boy stuff.

I'm like, I do a bag. That happens to me too. I'm like, oh I like this drossy park shirt but it's in the guy's section. Fuck it, I'll just buy I still have back. That happens to me too. I'm like, oh, I like this drossy park shirt, but it's in the guy's section. Ah, fuck it, I'll just buy it. It occurs. And if we have a... An exact shirt. Sometimes I'll buy from the little bullshit.

It'll be like... Sometimes are always... I'll buy like the extra, extra large in the... I'm like, that's a really cool star wars shirt. That's great. It'll fit you. It'll fit if I get the extra large. No, we were out shopping for some close for Bernie for the stream, so you need like

a new button down stuff. And there was a section in the department store. I think it was Macy's men or something like that. It was Star Wars. Really exciting. Bernie loves that shit. He has so many Star Wars shirts. So we went over to it.

It was so pessimistic about size. Like a medium was at least an extra large really Trying to fuck with you is really so negative close which is weird because actually women's designer fashion does the same thing I know that everything is much smaller whenever you go to like actual designer stores I'm like this is not my actual size Every store is just different. I don't know if you've noticed it's a good one for but Normally, but can you bring me the double zero? Thank you. Thank you. And then it fits. It's just different. I don't know if you guys have noticed this before, but normally, but can you bring me the double zero? Thank you. And then it fits. It's weird. It's like they're all just trying to make you feel better about yourself because you're spending a thousand dollars on some ship.

It's the same thing with guys, but it's weird like a 28-pant at this store would be way too small compared to like this store where it's too big or like a four in this store would be way different than this. I don't really like shopping. I don't know. I don't mean this in like a, I just kind of, you know, I'll show up and I'll just like, I'll put on pants until they fit. Chris is the worst person to go shopping with. I can imagine. Let me just, I think I think I talked about this. When I was on Chris, like shopping with Chris, I've heard

about you ordering drinks. We were at a pack south. It was me, Chris, Blaine, I think Jack was also there with us, but it was just you me and Blaine that went shopping because it was like the day before and we had time to kill. And we went into an express. Oh my god. Love something. Was that planes doing? I think like both of them just wanted to like go into express and I was like, oh yeah. Well, see, I don't like shopping. And so one of them with people who will help me shop. I'm like, Chris, let's go shopping. You know, Humber is indecisive. He's notoriously indecisive. Put clothes into the mix. I'm not sure about that. Two people's opinions. We'll put on a shirt and he'll stand there looking at it

for 20 minutes, turn around, come out. What do you think of the shirt? It's nice, yeah. Do you like it better than the other one? I mean, they're both nice. That one's, if it's too nice. Do you think it fits okay? I mean, they're both nice. That one's, if it's too nice. It. Do you do you think it fits?

OK. That's a good sure. And I really want to put on the other one again. And I just I don't, you know, I don't like, I'd rather someone buy my clothes for me. Their services for that. Yeah. Absolutely. I don't like that.

I'm going to do that for me. I don't like that's why I like t-shirts because I just buy the one size and I don't like that's why I like t-shirts Because I just buy the one size and I don't I don't mind very easily. Yeah, yeah, like I don't have to try it on. It's like okay If this is the size that I wear it's gonna fit are you the kind of person who gets the same outfit and like six colors? Yes, but yeah maybe, but yeah, yeah, but yeah, sometimes you know, it's like I find a shirt that's like this shirt fits well I'll just buy like three of them. Yeah, and then you know, I do the same thing. I bought six dresses this weekend They were all like Marvel universe themed. Yeah, so I got a captain America one. I was like, I'm gonna buy five more of these babies

Yeah, I'll just buy the exact same shirt. Yeah, why not? Is that the one you posted a picture in the, in the iron one? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Where every day and it's still clean. I love that thing. It's a new one. It's great. Do you, what about like Michael and Bernie? Like, do they like to shop or are they?

Michael's kind of a fashionista. Funny enough, like he gets spiffy. Yeah, certain, certain events. He's up very little. He'll clean up. Yeah, but for the most part, it's just like jeans and t-shirt. But that's me too. Like, we wear the same shirts. it's just like jeans and t-shirt. But that's me too. We wear the same shirts.

I'll be like, can I borrow your shirt today? Cool. No, we're kind of actually the same size. Which is weird. Nice. I was like, you had to go let's do that. No, not at all. We're the same height too.

So for our wedding, I wore heels for a little bit. Michael was like, no, I don't want to look up at you as we're getting married. Hi. Easy to kiss though, when you're in the same height. So I'm still joke like he'll look up at me if I am wearing heels and he'll go pick me up. Please.

All right. My, my. Oh, yeah, there we go. So nice. That's a great dress. No, but it does glow. I think one of the designs glow is in the dark, which is really cute.

But yeah, you should check that out. They have a whole, it's marvel by her universe. And it's all dresses like that. Super comfortable, but they're all super nerdy too. Well, see Aaron doesn't like shopping. And he has very interesting style, as I'm sure everyone knows of this company. And everyone knows.

He really does. He always goes for like the really weird patterns of just like, what are you doing? Is that the answer with the popular? Yeah. I like that he'll just come in one day and he'll have like snakeskin cowboy boots and a button-up shirt with cats all over. Yeah, that's him. That sounds like Aaron.

But it's like, I just want to buy things for him and put them on him like a candle. Because I'm just like, you're so pretty. I just want to dress you up and make you look pretty and then pose you. I'm sorry, my boyfriend doesn't have a dick Me too Well, it's because you had to cut it off to measure pepperoni slices. There you go. Okay call back Yeah, no shit. Hear me out. All right. Maybe you guys can agree. I was talking to Michael about this earlier this week If you were a girl and you're growing up with Barbies, they're one of two things you did with the Barbies Either they killed each other or they were having sex. That was it.

I know what's that I'm on. See, my sister had Barbies and I would always try and get her to make them play with my ninja turtles. Let's do a cross over here. And they were like, no. And she's like, no, let's keep separate halfway. But what did it look like a cross over? Did you want to happen? I don't know just like an adventure, you know like

I'm scared Not even that it wasn't even second it was just like I would create elaborate stories and then tutorials and I'd be like look I need some you know, let's let's collaborate and be like we can work together here right wonderful things I did crossovers all the time. I never had Barbies, but I did have Shira My little party. There you go. Pound puppies. Yes, the poppals. Polly pocket. What are poppals? Oh, poppals were They were like these cute little things and they had like pouches and they would like tuck up in their pouches And they could like hop around I think I know they came and they were stuffed animals and they came like in a pouch

So you just like flip the pouch like inside out and then like there's a thing and you can flip them and travel. I have never heard of this before. I have a pop-ups. I watched a there was a I don't know if it's a pop-ups movie for it's just an episode where they someone some kid put too much detergent in the washing machine and they got it all over the room because it was foamy and then the pop-ups came and helped him out. Thanks pop-ups. Yeah. Thanks to the rescue. Yeah.

On that note, did you guys ever do messed up stuff with your dolls? I was like, okay, sorry, that's like, it sounded really creepy. Hold on, let's people that first, like, to, for you to need. Wow. What the hell is that? No, that's, that's, that's, that's what I'm talking about. People did she like the whole time? Is that from Barbra's child?

Yes, like I had so many friends that were like, I killed Ken tonight because he cheated on Barbie. I was like, what? Okay. Yeah. I did have friends who would like do weird things, like cut them off and freeze them. That's a little much.

And in my case, I'm sorry. Pardon me, wasn't that indexed her? Yes. I was thinking. I'm pretty sure that was the first season of this. I'm sure you was the first season of Cut their hair the balls and then like you know make like Barbie headdoll bombs and

That was college What Well like my sister had some and I was a terrible kid, whatever. So she inherited a lot of my old Barbie, and I was mad that she got them. So one night, because I'm a terrible person back in the day, and now I hung them to the ceiling fan by their necks with shoelaces. And when she woke up one morning, I went time to die and I threw on the whole bunch

Oh my god I know it's you guys are I was nice to my dolls See that's funny because I did something similar to my sister. But it was like, I was like, you know, a kid and she, you know, she, I remember, this is, she was, there was some, you know, a boy over that she had a crush on. And so I, I, I, uh, how old at this point? I don't remember. I was probably like, you know, nine or something. Okay. And she was like, like, 10 to 11 or 12 or something, you know.

And I, she had a, there's a boy over that she had a crush on and I, and I put tampons on the ceiling. Yes. So they were just like a spinning tampon. At that point, did you even know what tampons were for? I knew that if you put them in water they got they Exploded like splurred But like that was the thing I was like I remember I was like expanded yeah, they expanded

But like I was like a cool thing. It's like you pop them out and you like put them in water But stop and don't like me my little brother to be like this is so cool. Let's do my all I can imagine you like baby Chris playing with tampons like oh my god This is the coolest thing ever. What did I explode? What are they gonna make these for guys? But yeah, so it's like one of those things where me and my little brother were like well, how can we what can we do like? Let's get those exploding cotton balls Don't take you that she do for herself and let's put them on the ceiling fan So you put them up there and then what turn the fan and her boy her boyfriend or her boyfriend was a boy was a her friend

who was a your friend it was her friend that was a boy and I'm sure she was he left he thought it was really funny he was like do that Chris guys pretty cool to the day she still put the more ceiling I did you just like you need one news go. Yeah, there you go. Done. I did the frozen underwear thing a few times. So it was a battle with me and my sister. You freeze each other's underwear.

Yeah. What did you do? What? Freeze your underwear. But then don't you have multiple pairs of underwear? No, you freeze all of them. You freeze every single pair of underwear that person owns. That night.

That is an amazing prank. Yeah. Into ice cubes or just like you put in the freezer. You put it in the freezer and they're cold. Oh, no, you let it sit for a while because my sister didn't discover it. She was like, wait a minute, where's all my underwear? And I'm like, I don't know.

Maybe mom and dad are getting you new clothes. So she got excited and was like, I'm getting new clothes. I'm getting new clothes. I'm like, they're freezing right now. But the time she got them, they were like, pretty stiff. Like you couldn't put them on. Did you wet them first or just put them in the freezer?

Got to wet them. Oh, that is cruel. That's put them in the freezer? Yes, got a wet them. Oh, that is cruel. That's not true. Not only were they like, I messed up. I thought they were just cold. No. If you want to know how to be a terrible older sister, just ask me for advice.

I can do that. I was an older sister too. I didn't get to do any of that shit. I'm just not nearly an event of enough. Now we're like this. Growing up. It's, I think that's the way all siblings are. Yeah, maybe.

I'm really disappointed in myself as an older sister. We'll get back to that in a minute to talk about your disappointment. I want to read this really fast. This episode is also brought to you by Squarespace. Start building your website today at squarespace.com. For a free trial and 10% off your first purchase, go to squarespace.com slash Ruchertief.

Squarespace, build it beautiful. We'll also talk about maybe how Lindsay had her wedding website on Squarespace which is really cool. With Squarespace your site will look professionally designed regardless of skill level, no coding required at all. They have intuitive and easy to use tools and Squarespace has state-of-the-art technology power in your site to ensure security and stability. Trusted by millions of people and some of the most respected brands in the world, Squarespace starts at $8 a month and you get a free domain if you sign it for a year. Start your free trial today.

Uh, sorry, start your free trial site today with no credit card required at Squarespace.com. When you decide to sign it for Squarespace, make sure to visit squarespace.com slash rooster teeth for a free trial and to get 10% off your first purchase. Squarespace build it beautiful. Jace. So yeah, you used, did you use squarespace for your wedding website? That was beautiful. Thank you.

Yeah, I was happy. It was again, like exactly like you said, it was very easy to use. I could upload things pretty easily. They have little quadrants for every section. So if I was like, I want to put a picture right here, bam, done. All my menu for the wedding, bam, done. Here's a video of me and Michael hanging out together, bam, done. And all my relatives saw it and they were like, I want to put a picture right here. Bam, done. All my menu for the wedding, bam, done. Here's a video of me and Michael hanging out together. Bam, done.

And all my relatives saw it and they were like, oh, this is so professional. It must have cost so much to hire someone to do this. I'm like, yeah, hire so much. So much. Don't worry about it. No, I did it at home in like 15 minutes. But it was good.

It worked really well. It looked very professional. So I would absolutely do it again. It made you guys look way fancier than you actually. Oh, yeah, absolutely. Get married again. Yeah, maybe one day Just to build another website as an excuse. Yeah, I got time. Bam

Just like our vows. They need a renew one. I need to do it. What's the earliest you can renew vows where you're not a piece of shit Well, it's funny. I mean you could do like just do it and see what happens. I just like fuck it. You care Just like every anniversary like renew Done. Will you guys have an for a year and a half. Yep. I was renewing vows even work. Like what's the what is the I've been to one and it was like a mini wedding ceremony for them. But again, it was just like their family and friends came over. It wasn't anything big and they just said all right. You know, do you I do do you I do hey we're renewed and that was it and then we just had like beer and hung out. I didn't wear like the wedding excuse for like another wedding. I assume that this is more like a smaller wedding.

All right, this is, you know, generalizing a little bit, but I assume it's mostly ladies who like, what is there's fun? Let's do another one. Yeah, I got the second dress that I didn't. I didn't know we used the first thing where it's like I can dress that I didn't use. I didn't know, like, we're used to things where it's like, the wedding is not going, or the marriage is like, Rocky and the New Year's, and you do it. As like, hey guys, it's all good, calm down. Don't worry about it. Yeah, yeah, or it's like,

Well, like it's like, as a PR stunt. I don't know. I don't know, it's like shaking hands, it'll be all sort of like, just like a part, you know, between themselves. We're newly vows to me now that I'm thinking about it. It seems very selfish and very like self-centered. I'm just like, hey guys, just wanted to remind you,

we're in love. And in case you forgot from our wedding, we're in love. We're still in love. So I'm gonna celebrate us again. Like, oh, and we're gonna have canopies. Well, like a barber just got uninvited. Damn it.

I mean, it's great. And love should be celebrated. If it was to do something like that, I want to do something ridiculous where it's like, I don't know, you're in the middle of a loose competition. You're like, I do. I do. Like as you're going down the hill or something like that,

it'd have to be crazy. I can do my match trick. Yeah, yeah, right. You can't leave fire. You can't leave as I'm going down the hill and I'll catch it. It'll be great. We just have to set up to find the beer. It's selfish unless you have a

chocolate fountain and a bouncy castle for adults. There you go. Everyone has to have fun. I exactly. And it's in a Hawaii for some reason. Yes. Just make it in Hawaii. Some of the they have to be in Hawaii. Some of the best parties I've been to are you know I went as an adult and they had a bouncy house. Do they like you in bouncy houses? I've heard terrifying things. Sometimes they just don't like you into the bouncy castle because you wait too much. I think if there's no kids there, you're okay. But I think it's like a pool.

People who were having a house party and they're like, let's get a bouncy house. And fuck it. And then it's just like... No, don't fuck the bouncy house. I'll tell you how. I'll tell you how. I'll tell you how. house and fuck it and then it's just like don't fuck the bouncy house Hold it in that it's like, you know, it's like that's a cool thing for a house party, you know a bouncy house Yeah, I'm just imagining much of drunk college kids were like We talked about for our tx. Oh, yeah, we wanted to have a fun house bouncy house Fun house fun house yeah, it would just it would just be a fun house. Fun house. Fun house. Fun house. Fun house. Fun house. Fun house.

Fun house. Fun house. Exactly. But I mean time and budget and all that stuff didn't allow us to do at space. Yeah. So maybe next year maybe we'll have a ball pit like everyone was requesting from Dashcon. I know. I thought it would be fun to be a ball pit. Yeah. We have a we have a ball pit here somewhere. We do. It was for the office tour video. Right. Yeah. But it just after that it just hung around for ages. I'm not complaining. I spent an hour and there a day. Yeah.

Not actually. I wish I did. I totally forgot about until this moment, when my Michael's nephew had a birthday party with a bounce house. And there was definitely a moment where I was the only adult and I was like, this feels really weird. Like, I'm the only big person here.

Like, yeah, bounce houses are awesome. You should just set in the middle of it and get all the kids bounce around you like around me like in that situation Is it okay to be like the godzilla? I'm throwing right? I feel like it's okay. It's all padded Yeah, yeah like aggressive, but like kid you know like when I was a kid That's not good crazy with fun to like wrestle with the guy that would like throw you know like Who would wrestle damn straight, you know like like, who would wrestle? Damn straight. You know, like, and I think it'd be cool just to be throwing kids.

You're racking. That's the one okay where it's okay to be. You throw kids everywhere. I mean, if my kids come to you to get chocked then it's like when you're swimming with your parents and your dad would like throw you into the pool. You're like again, again, you'd be the dad. There's a place you're not.

I was like throwing kids. Let's not know that. Chris doesn't care where it is. It'll happen. It's gonna happen. We should have like an office outing to what's it called jump a lean. There's a place here in Austin that's like the building that's all trampolines. That was actually old office, right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it was like it's down top while was it a similar place. You're right. Yeah. It's awesome. We've taken the boys there a couple times and I'm pretty sure

Bernie and I have just as much fun. I remember how to do flips. Oh my god Do they have like a foam pit there too? Because I know there's some like trampoline places that have a pit that's full of these like Gymnastic they could jump into like a push. I'm not sure they do there But I think they might have a bouncy house. There was a we did a um Zach Canner we did a workout Wednesday at a trampoline place It was like all trampolines and they had a foam pit and stuff Yeah, it was fun. Have you ever seen people jump into the foam pit, but they can't get out

That happened to me a couple of me like everybody. Yeah, well like I took gymnastics as a kid There were definitely times where someone would be like we and they hop in they were like at a certain point It's switch from happiness to pure panic. They're like, yeah, this is okay Okay, I'm gonna have your now, please someone oh my god I don't like singing into it. Yeah, I didn't know you did gymnastics Mm-hmm old-school like a lot of fancy today I played a lot of sports back in the day. I don't do shit No, well no with the day to could you do like back fans like back hands? I used to be able to do a back handspring. I can't know this sock. I can still do the splits

Which I like really on escalators like elf style because it trips people out So I do that every now and then you should do the splits while chugging a pint of beer with your cheese I'll do it. I like it. I'll be wearing that woman. That'll be Misrelationship make make it a stretch goal for extra life absolutely. I'll do the splits on camera I'll stretch my groin I Always you you're welcome. I always wanted to be able to do tumbling. It's pretty fun. When I was in junior high, I took one of those,

when I was in junior high, I was desperate for people to like me. And I had no idea how to interact. I was that super, I think we feel like, when I was like, I wish people liked you, I don't people like me. And then people, anytime there was a conversation, I'd be like this. So, but one of the listeners that was in anime open. So, one of my parents' solutions was they suggested I take a cheerleading class and go in for cheerleaders.

I'm good. In junior high school. And so I took a cheerleading class. Nothing could go wrong with that. It was less that. Well, it was more that I had nothing to do. Like, nothing in common with any of the girls. They're all like, we know how to do hair. And watch this. I did this blitz.

And I was like. It's like. I really like Jackins. And one day I want to be a veterinarian for horses. And like I never got to the splits. I could never even just do a like a back bend. Oh yeah, like actually. Well, even when you like walk over,

yeah, like, I'll never do any of that. And to this day, it haunts me and I wish that I could. Like, where you the kid and bring it on that one girl who was like, your school has no gymnastics seen this is a last resort. Yeah, that's pretty much. Pretty much. I had to be really good. So yeah, screw that.

That was great too. I wanted to take gymnastics as a kid, but only it was step two of my three step plan to become an inch turtle. Okay, what was step one? What, crotty? Okay, green. Did, what was step one? What, crotty? Okay, green. Did you energy you take crotty?

I took crotty. Okay. And that's as far as I got. Did you roll around and ooze? So you got three step one? Yeah, and then step one was crotty. Step two was gymnastics, so I could do flips and stuff. What's step three?

Oos. Yes. Find a friend rat. Like, did you want to be a back up for like two minutes? Let's break this down. You legitimately wanted to be an interterdial. Yes. Which one? Or were you just going to be a new one? I just wanted to be an interterdial. Okay. Let's wait and and it just like, I think I was six or seven. Okay. So I was pretty young.

I was like, I think it was six. Cause I think that's when I took pride. Okay, in my mind, I was pastoring like 14 year old Chris. Oh, this was like yesterday. Chris did this after work. When was this? Oh, sweet. Yeah.

Oh, 10, 11 months ago. I didn't realize, someone told me it may be like a couple months ago, but I didn't realize that that was the same ooze that made Daredevil blind, is the ones that turn the TMNT into TMNT. Oh, is it what? Really? Apparently, yeah, I can't talk about bad luck.

Can I just say, by the way, that the, was it, is it the Netflix Daredevil? It's so good. It's so good. Amazing, really, really good. In fact, in fact, in fact, I have an admission to make after getting after Bernie for watching Game of Thrones, that way. we uh-oh yeah, I watched Daredevil with that.

Yeah, it's the whole thing. Yeah, does he know this? Yeah, okay. Six different episodes. And here comes Bernie out of the way. Such a good show. Yeah, we were for it. We were for it.

She would do it while I slept. Do you fear? I've been trying to do it wrong before he slept, but then he would sleep and I go, he clearly doesn't care. I just keep watching it. Nice. Get nice, Barb. Don't call attention to it. Look at the head on that one. Michael and I reached that point.

I can't wait to decide whether or not we're going to move on in a show like recently we watched Luther great show. I don't know if you have a chance to do it. It's like Adrian Selba is one of his premiere roles, but there was a point where I was sleeping same thing and Michael was like, I want to finish the show, but I love my wife. I'm going to finish this show. I can't take it. I can't do you need love shows that you watch with the person you're dating.

Absolutely. And then you need shows that you watch independently. Yeah. Or there's like a contract of like, if I sleep for so many hours, you're free to watch the whole thing. And if you shake them and said like, hey, do you want to watch this? And then they're like, they said it was cool. Permission.

My wife is a lazy fuck. So I'm going to keep going. Yeah. That happened with True Detective with me and Aaron. We started watching the first season. And like, that show is a slow burn at and Aaron, we started watching the first season and like That show is a slow burn at the beginning like it takes a while It does take a bit to pick up and like we only started watching it like late at night So I was already tired and I would always fall asleep through every episode and I'm just like, you know what?

You keep watching. I'm gonna sleep right here on the couch. I'll watch it on my own later. How many hours do you sleep usually? I mean usually a good eight hours, everything. Yeah, yeah. Michael sleeps like three or four hours. What? Yeah, I don't know what he'll say at all night. And then wake up at like five in the morning. How do I compete with that?

I'm always going to be the lazy fuck in the relationship. Come on. I'm like a human being. I'm like a human being. 10 hours. Yeah, that's ideal. I slept until 11 on Sunday and Michael was like, someone had a nice sleep. I was like, all right, calm down. Mr. I'm up at four. All right. I slept until 11 on Sunday and Michael was like, someone had a nice sleep.

I was like, all right, calm down. Mr. I'm up at four. All right. I'm sorry. Yes, I did have a nice sleep. I hate you for a mess. I sleep until 11, like every weekend day. If I don't, something is wrong.

I'm to the point now where 8 o'clock is sleeping in for me. I'm like, man, I'm so late. Really? Really? Yeah, I am so sorry. I'm adjusting to Michael's cycle. It's bad. Yeah. I'm going to start with you guys. You guys really see the video? It's very sorry. I'm adjusting to Michael's cycle. It's bad. Yeah.

I'm going to start with you guys really. See, there's a pretty interesting thing. I think I have his period with you. He bar was my tampon sometimes. So if you were with him, he's one of the fans. Yeah. And then it was time to die. Flix it on.

I remember I was over at your guys' new place, which is amazing, by the way. Oh, thank you. And you guys were talking about, what's that murder mystery show that you guys watched? Friends, it files. Friends, it files. It's the best. And I was like, oh, have you guys were talking about, what's that murder mystery show that you guys watched? Oh, forensic files. forensic files. The best.

And I was like, oh, have you guys seen, you must have seen the jinx then because if you like this kind of stuff and both you and my course is like, no, we hadn't at the time. I knew of it. Chris, what was that response? It's crazy. It's so good. And then I think like, it's I don't know how to spoil it too. You're like, and then I remember Michael tweeted like the next morning, like, just finished the jinx and I was like,

I told you guys about this last. The whole thing. Yeah, absolutely. It was great. It was enthralling. I love that. So whole series. My problem with TV is that I don't particularly like TV to make me think.

I saved that for books. TV is something that I've figured out the secret. TV is now the thing that I do on the treadmill. Where Bernie plays games on the treadmill and he is currently completely addicted to the Witcher. I watch perfectly fine. I can be addicted. You're right, sweetie. The first step is admitting Bernie. You can be addicted to whatever you like and I approve. But I'm doing TV because I run a lot and so I can't play games anymore. I don't have the coordination. It's great. So I watched all of I can hear his

I know he's breathing into it. I'm watching Brooklyn 9.9 and it's fantastic. That is a good prize and we funny show. It took me ages to get into it. It's one of those shows that I was meant to start watching and now there's fantastic. That is a good prize and we funny show. It took me ages to get into it. It's one of those shows that I was meant to start watching and now there's that I've got a whole queue of stuff now that I'm doing a lot of running. I'm like I'm gonna watch this next. You can watch

this next. You know what's on the list? Black Mirror. I've heard black Mirror is really like if you like the jinx. It's not a documentary but it's an exploration of where current technology could lead to which is generally a bad place. Is it like virtual reality, S-core? No, it's like invasion of privacy.

Each episode is a standalone story. The first one that I've only seen one or two episodes, the first one is a, like some sort of terrorist type person, kidnaps a, like the prime minister's daughter or something some some you know royal person naturally this is a shop for them and Says we're going to kill this person unless yeah and Unless and less the this other government govern

Governor or whatever some sort of official has sex with the pig on camera. Oh, which interestingly enough, the pig gate that happened today, dude fucked dead pig. What? You didn't hear about that at all, or what? I thought you were leading into this top of the thing. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

that's what her hamstrang. A British, a government official, I don't know his position, I apologize, and many positions, apparently. Uh-huh, i didn't do the research on this before i didn't know we were going to discuss it but uh... uh... british prime minister who

uh... has i think i believe he's lobbied against her he outlawed face sitting porn and so like that for her hearing about that right back i yeah turns out he like flo a dead pig. Oh my what? Yeah, so let's just don't you see that face though? Uh-uh. No no no face it but pigs go wild Hog wild He was behind the whole outlawing of dildos too because I know that happened in the UK where they're like no no dildos

Uh-uh wait what yeah, there was a whole thing it was maybe like a half a year ago where they were like you can't have dildos And porn like uh-uh we're not about it. That's not cool and Gavin was like what the hell that like like like like girls Got to be getting a real pounded aura so like yeah basically was he Oinking A bit yes he was squealing Barbara a bit. Yes, he was squeal in Barbara. I'm sure they can't have born with girls with small boots. That's true. And I'll show you there's a thing.

Are you serious? Where? Yeah, it can't. Here's let me let me just let me explain. Okay, sorry. Outrage. You're going out. No, I get it. There's a there's a law in Australia about women with small cup sizes. In porn because it they believe that it makes you look underage. Oh interesting. They're very specific.

It's like when Stefani to me right now. Bitch be fit. But also like and flat and beautiful. I assume to be in the point. She's still so hot. I don't know. She's amazing. She's a wizard. I seem to be in the porn industry. Obviously, I have to be in the point. She's still so hot. I don't know. She's amazing. She's a wizard. I seem to be in the point. I'm sure you obviously have to be over 18 or 21. No, I think legally it's 18. It's pretty much everywhere. It's 16 in some places.

It might be. And so obviously if it's like a porn that's been produced, it's obviously legal and the way in and the manner of it. But they don't want it to even appear as if it's an underage. I understand the mentality, but I know so many women who are grown who like, I don't have boobs. It just doesn't happen. I'm sorry.

I think that law of different types and size and size. Not long ago, maybe a year or two. And there was a lot of outrage in Australia because perfectly adult legal actresses were like, what the hell? That's not okay. I'm out of a job now, like bam. Yeah, it's a- And the Beatles.

Porn can be really strange in a lot of places. Chris is not like the law is that porn or where? Yeah, it can. Tell us more Chris. I don't wanna comment. Chris is like finally someone identifies with my opinion. It's picking up delicious things. So that's idea of segway. That's ideal segue guys.

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I was gonna make a joke about something else but that was inappropriate. One of the things that I like best about this office is that in the kitchen right above the snack station, there's like these bags of like chips and granola bars and all this crazy stuff. And then there are these nice canisters with like nicely displayed canisters of like here are your dried peach slices, here are these nice little nuts, and I'm like, I go to get chips and be bad.

Yeah. And then I'm go, I felt my nice little cup of nature box. So I take my empty chip bag. And I feel so much better about myself. You get the free guilt trip. Also, is Bernie still there? No. No.

Okay. Okay, Bernie. Yes. Did you or did you not steal me and Gus' nature box? I can stop whatever I want. Because we ordered a nature box a month ago didn't get it. I see Bernie crunching on stuff. Oh, that's a shame. I ordered such good stuff this month too. So. Yeah, fact checks something.

David Cameron. David Cameron. Prime Minister. And he didn't Twitter wants to be very clear. He didn't fuck a big. He just stuck his day to its mouth. Yes, he didn't fuck a big thing. I'm sorry if you just... Okay, so I'm just having it in the neighborhood. How do people... How did he get discovered as a...

I don't know. Like, just a walk in on there? Okay. Yeah. Also, do we need to discuss like, is oral sex sex? It was an initiation. It's still... It's still called sex to discuss like is oral sex sex? It's still it's still called sex to me oral sex is but that's the same as anal it's sex. I'm sorry if you're sticking your dick and something Yeah, yeah, yeah dude fucked a pig. Sorry. I've seen American pie. I know I go Well, this Virginia to that pie. Have you seen the video the dude in Portland who's fucking a truck? No, yes, I did and he's like he's like he's like but but but but but I

Used protection. Yeah, they don't like he like clarifies of like no, no, no, it was a truck babies Yeah, it's a way how do you exhaust pipe man? Really? Yeah, all right It's a very good to a truck. I don't know. I think it was someone else's truck, too. It wasn't even his It was like some homeless guy the truck you dirty You smell like another truck where have you been another trucker gonna be honest though like if the tailpipe is like of size you know like is he using like some padding in there or is he just like he's got a pump maybe he's just like really likes vehicles well but like the like tailpipes are at least that big around, right?

It's very tall man. Get in some tail. Right. But does he have some crazy like girth or does he have padding in there or like what? Cause damn. I mean, he that looks like I mean, maybe he like kind of like I think that's the point

that I think he can have sex with is a truck cause girls are gonna be like, nah, maybe he's like babies passed through there, but no, no, yeah, maybe he's really choed Lee too So he's got girth but no length. Do you think chod Lee? Chod Lee, yeah, chod is my favorite word. I say chod all right. It's a great word It's a great word. If you call someone a chod like you fucking showed people are like what? Oh my god Like they're so upset about it. I'm like that's right, but it's just the way it sounds Yeah, like there's there's no issue with That so like like like juice box. I like you chose choked hard like like embarrassed look you hit the juice

But you're fine. Yeah, but it's such a great word sounds awesome. What? Chode I might sound a little incompetent here, but I've heard the word chode. Yes. What is a chode a chode in my experience? Is a dick that is wider than it is long Oh, it's like it's like got some crazy like girth like but like not so much of the length something that you would like maybe rub this way Instead of this way something where you're like maybe you should use your tongue at this point like maybe just like sand like Kanking a flots or hand around There's padding it saying like taking a flutter after you're hand around just patting it Chris tell us more, but the time

work I've never encountered a joke Chris is not a joke I don't have too much experience good Chris, does this give you some disturbing insight into how women talk? No, I mean, I would imagine it, you know, like

Didude's compare dicks sometimes? It happens. Don't lie. Maybe I've, you know, it's one of those... I don't ever can... It's one of the things that I do for being... How many sausage slices are you? No, no, it's one of those... Pepperoni Lindsay, well sorry, yeah. He's not Italian, no?

There's different types of friend groups. There's the friend groups who get naked together and they're friend groups who don't. Yes. I think that also is very dependent on age Not at all. Well now we know which one Bernie's that for women. That's absolutely true But go on yeah, and it's one of those things where I There's certain friends. I've seen naked on accident. I'm like, oh man. I just saw this dick No, but I'm never like it's never like a thing where it's like let's all get naked

Check out our dick together together, let's compare. Get some side by side. If you have to measure, do you measure from the top like the top cubic hairs to tip or do you measure from the juncture of the balls to the tip? Ooh, I've always wanted to do the care. But what do you do personally? Oh, well, Chris Chris I guess from like

Right like so like yeah, right like there's the top and then there's the bottom. Yeah, you measure from the top or the bottom I guess the top. Yeah, I think that makes most of you know, it's you know, it's funny That was creepy So I remember this guy with his showed. I remember being and it was very totally that day. Like middle school or elementary

school and you know like you're going through puberty and you're you know things are changing and stuff. Okay. And so like I was like okay so you know it's growing but I was like trying to keep track of like, was it growing or showing? Both.

I was trying to keep track of the rate of growth and I was the digital. The whole thing. So I was like, all right, well, I'll use, I'll use like, you know, like this section of my finger, you know, like I'll use like, see comparatively how, how it grows compared to like this part of my finger. Are you now were you assuming that your finger was also growing?

That's the problem. I was like it's not growing and then I realized my hand was growing at the sit also. I also like that. And they wouldn't have used a non you know bias A fair measure something that doesn't grow when I was like oh okay There's progress here a day for the future I like the idea of you marking it You know how like kids measure their height. Yeah, I had doorway Chris measures his dick like yeah I made it like a third level the day that you're just like age 12 first measures is dick like yeah I made it to like third level the day. I'm just like yeah.

age 12. I remember specifically and again I totally forgot about it until this podcast is bringing up a lot of memories for me. But in elementary school I remember one time a couple of kids were hanging out together a couple dudes and they pulled out their dicks and we're like and being little kids like. And people and stuff. They're like elementary school like recess I guess.

But you know we're Texas people, so shit's crazy. I remember as a kid being sad that I couldn't do it too. And I was like, I don't have one of those. And I just like soaked away and sat in the corner and cried. Yeah. I'm grateful that I went to school when I did. Like the, with the whole thing with this Ahmed kid,

getting, when he got suspended because the whole reason I left the W arrested was it? either way what the fuck yeah it just everything is so like very careful it comes it brings us again the sensitivity and they like everyone being so overly cautious and overly sensitive

the biggest thing that pissed me off was they interrogated him without his parents present so they just went ahead and said all right yeah that's full illegal yeah, that's the whole issue, the biggest issue they're having right now. And I was like, uh, that fucking sucks. It's terrible. But unfortunately, a mentality like that is very, very problem in doubt. I know it doesn't give the whole thing, but did you see President Obama's tweet?

Oh, I got it. So, which was pretty awesome. And, um, and like, he's been getting a whole bunch of stuff. Like, I know that Microsoft sent him a whole bunch of stuff being like being like hey Keep kicking ass kid like that. All that's really great But it doesn't erase the fact that this kid Got in trouble for doing something amazing. I couldn't build a damn clock. I still couldn't build a clock Mm-hmm. I can barely read clocks. There you go. You know, it's digital. Yeah

I except unless they've got like a one of those pieces missing and then you never like one of the sides like from just a little Bits and you never know like what time it really is. Oh, yeah, instead of seven It's like a dash and this dash and like what do you like and you're like I will never know time again We've we've stepped outside Did we go through that wormhole that Stephen Hawking was talking about? Yes, we passed through the chowd Did we go through that wormhole that Stephen Hawking was talking about? Yes. We passed through the chowd. Do you think less people have watches nowadays because of cell phones?

Absolutely. On YouTube. Well, yeah, but I don't use my watch as a watch. Use it as a phone, essentially. Yeah. You have a text message. Yeah. This thing will tell you to stand up and move for a minute so that I can get my goal.

You can wait three minutes for the Apple Watch. Yes. And now I'm a total dickhead. I'm like oh Oh, oh yeah, I'll hold on the cat's taking a shit. Oh, yeah It tells me everything Wow Do you feel like it's almost too intrusive? It is a little bit but mostly I just get mad at it because it's not nearly as nice to me about Calorie tracking as my like my Fitbit and all that other stuff was. Yeah. Because I'm trying really, really hard to get in shape again.

And so I'm running and I'm going to gym and trying to like, lift weights until I get like, which is really fast. And what? And I get to the end and I'm like, I'm like, I get to do many calories. And it's like, no, it's way meaner to me than anything else is, which in a way is motivating. I think my watch is negging me.

Oh no. But it's like, keep running. It's like, keep running. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, it's one more already, huh? Exactly. It's sitting for an hour, huh?

Maybe I got those Oreos earlier. You'd be able to run more. Okay, watch. Calm down. I'm going to tighten myself on your wrist now to make you feel better So I don't use it as a watch though. I Still use I even so like I've got this and I will still pull out my phone and be like what time is it? Yeah, oh great I just run around like a madman at work especially with like X-ray and valve and Ruby and all that stuff

That I do along with the cheap and hunter. I'm just going from place to place to place to place so I need this I don't even bring my phone. I'll be like what time is it? Oh I'm just going from place to place to place so I need this. I don't even bring my phone. I'll be like, what time is it? Oh My god, I'm on time. Okay. Thank God. So I just constantly look at my watch all the time. I need it I just like to flappy bit. Yeah, my little flappy bit. We um speaking of room We should probably mention that we're gonna be at New York Comic Con. We are. Yeah coming up in October early October Lindsay and I will be there carry miles carry miles and I think great as well will be there So we'd love to come see you. good coming out. So if you want to come see us. I don't know our booth number yet, but it'll be the

We love to see your panel. I think on Thursday night or read your fanfic. We'll do everything. Yeah, I'll do it So come see us in New York and then also we should probably mention social disorder before yes, we finish up on the podcast here So your first episode came out. Yeah. It was awesome. I've been looking forward to this episode since I had this, this is a very sad thing, when Joe, the cat, went missing. Oh, yeah. I posted it on the awesome sub, I made a throw away

and posted on the awesome subreddit that like my cat was missing if anyone had seen it, please. Oh, no, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was just monitoring that subreddit hardcore. I saw this free yoga scam and I was like, oh no, I was literally not. And as I was just monitoring that subreddit hardcore, I saw this free yoga scam. And I was like, oh shit, I think they're shooting social disorder this weekend. I went and looked at it and I was like, oh my god, it's

whole yet. And from that point on, even without seeing any of the footage that you guys were working with, I was like, I cannot wait for this episode. You are utterly ridiculous. How do you do it? There are some good ass episodes this season. I feel like social disorder was made for you, Chris.

That's your humor to a tee. Which is interesting too, though, because you don't strike me as the kind of person that's crazy out there, just being super weird. I mean, you're just kind of weird. It's Chris is so innocent and you wouldn't suspect him of trying to do something. He knows how to make people uncomfortable though That's how he tricks you. Yeah, what he say was like he's so like sexually Non-intimidating not threatening there. We yeah, yeah, yeah, social disorder Perchotely Chris. There we go. Here's a little bit of it where Have you ever done a keg stand before is that what I never done a keg stand before is that What is that?

I have done a keg stand before but oh my god, it's in a while Is it plank or are you supposed to actually be doing it? I don't know that I don't know anything about that. You do a handstand You know what it is you do the hands down the side. I know that person's supposed to bring your legs up a little high Yeah, yeah, yeah, they're the support Aaron's locked up. That was that was on him does did he keep that? Unitarred Why do you want to know? I'm just curious. I- I- I have no idea what he could do.

I don't know what he did with it either. Yeah. Find it Barbara. And find that unitarred. I'll find it. Was that part real kind of- Was that part real kind of- What did you guys do?

Um, that was not the hardest. I know- I know which one is the hardest. I won't obviously mention it because it's an episode coming up. But- Coming up later. I remember, like, anytime Chris thinks about this episode this episode or like he's a cut of this episode, he just like sits like, oh, I can't watch this. And I'm like, you were there doing it.

He's just like, oh, I should so, oh, like I've never seen Chris cringe that hard. I get that. I get that. Be so uncomfortable. It's weird to listen to yourself or watch yourself in a recording alone just that in itself. And to watch you doing something That is so embarrassing and awful. I can only imagine watching it back like oh god

I do this for my career like this is my job. Yeah You did inspire me though. Yeah, I took Bernie to yoga. Oh, yeah, I did I took into a yoga class. How do you do? He did surprisingly well. So nice, Burns. You guys are almost out of time by the way. No, we don't have time for you. We don't have so much time. Although we also do have the post show that we could talk about this on. We do. Post show by the way is is a sponsor exclusive. So if you want to sign up for a 30 day free trial for sponsorship you could do that and watch the post shows that we post. Just a little little hint to that fun nugget I'm not a good yeah that's a good word I mean it's your want to talk about an hour you want to talk about a post show

fuck off I'm not so I didn't bring you okay it was it was this weekend and I'd been trying to talk him into it because he he works out a lot He's really dedicated. He gets up every morning. He has a trainer and he goes to the gym I've seen him at the gym. He sees a trainer a couple times a week and he's got like he is super strong He's very very dedicated. All right enough about burning and yet I go But small in a tailpipe. But smaller than a tailpipe. But I like I worry about his flexibility. Like I'm a girl I'm used to things like being able to touch my toes or like that's I have a relationship with my toes.

I can I can feel them sometimes. And there's someone out there on the internet who's just like, oh my god, it's happening. Finally, my day is coming. And so I was like, you know what, like I just started again, like getting fit, like doing all this stuff. And yoga is my, I treat it as a weekly stretching session. Yeah. So I talked Bernie into coming with me. And I'm really impressed that he went, he was probably expecting like keg stands and stuff So thank you for that. That's probably what got him. Well, when when doing prep for an episode of social sort of will go to You did a yoga class they went to hot yoga Oh, you went to yoga. We didn't realize it was hot yoga. Oh my okay

So was it hot yoga? Oh, it was hot. Yeah, it was big You you went to big room yoga. But it was like on your normal yoga class. Yeah, we didn't know. We just signed up for yoga. And it was an hour and a half. Oh my god. I know.

It was great to level three of TMT training. Right there. Big room yoga. Next is Mayan's on the other level. I, it was one of those things. It was it's an hour and a half long. And we're doing it and and at some point I'm I ran out of water

And I was stealing Aaron's water He took it from me and I was just like pouring it on my body and I couldn't I couldn't get up apparently You got up to get more water, but you almost fell over so that instructor was like let me do that Yeah, and then took your water bottle I was like spinning I was just like I just it was one of the I wanted to leave the room But I I didn't know if I could leave without falling down or also like I was like going to child's post Oh my god, I was late. I'm on the ground. I'm not kidding. I couldn't move you were in like dead pose That's it. Yeah, so for those who don't know what Bikram specifically is, it's it's how you get

the heat the room up to about 105 Fahrenheit. And then you there's it's a series of 26 poses over the course of 90 minutes. It is brutal. It's like the militant army. You need to take you. Bernie to that next. Bernie? I think that's a fantastic idea, but I also I don't want to kill him 45 minutes working up to it if it was half the length that it was because you go in and you're like it's like a Rainforest. Yeah, I'm gonna be a rainforest, but I mean, it's it's like you it is that shower like you just I mean, it's very human. It is that shower, like you just,

yeah, you inhale water. Wait, one more time, Chris. It's like you're walking through a dog's mouth as you go to class. It's super humid. Like you get in there and there is a little bit of like a smell to it because so many hot bodies have come through that room. Yeah, there.

By the end of those classes, there is, there is just sweat running down you. There's something really smug about that, by the way. You get to the end of the class and there is, there is just sweat running down you. There's something really smug about that by the way. You get to the end of the class and there's sweat running down you're like, yeah, fuck you sweat water. Like you're like, that came out of me. It's not in me anymore. I've been like, stained clean, but that's only after you survive.

It mostly hits you on the way home during it. You're like, I will die right now. Yeah, it is. No, it really was. It's like any like intense exercise, like I used to do spinning all the time where like people call it cycling, but you feel like you're gonna throw up

or pass out during it, but after you get the biggest runner's high. You guys done P90X or insanity, right? You like that? I've done three days of P90X and then I was like, that's enough. I did insanity for a little bit. There's some gig, yeah.

That was some giggling megaphone over there He said three days. Jesus. I did a little bit of insanity in college because I was trying to get back in a shape I did maybe like half of the program and then I came back to college and Maggie and I were like let's try this drunk Oh, no, at the time, would you like tap into your clothes? Oh, yeah, absolutely. I got to watch what I was trying to stretch Yeah, yeah, we traded but it was a horrible idea never ever ever Do insanity drunk? Oh my god, or just at all. No, yeah, fuck it do some Billy blanks. Well, I think I think that's time for the podcast I'm really proud of Bernie. I'm proud of you you did great on your yoga He knows Danward dog needs set. He wants to be very clear that he's not a happy baby

Can he go into cobra from Danward Dog? What? Yeah. Don't forget to talk about laser team. Laser team. Yes, thank you, Bernie. Thank you, side car, Bernie. Laser team is the main.

I like the Bernie. He's just an invisible force to me. I know. He's the ghost. So laser team is brewing this Thursday at Fantastic Fest. It's the first ever screening of the movie. Like, I can't believe it's happening. Which I'm excited. I haven't seen any of it either. I still don't really cut. I'm excited to see what's going on.

Oh, yeah, yeah. There have been clips of this release, so I think we could talk about it. But if Lindsey, you and I were cheerleaders of that movie, on very weird for me. Probably the coldest night in Austin, in the history of Austin. Yes, I don't know. But it was freezing or asses off. on very weird for me. Totally be cold this night in Austin, in the history of Austin. Yes. I don't know, but it was freezing or asses off. It made it work. It's cool. We were just like, just keep jumping, man.

Just make it seem like you're really excited. The heat will warm us up. Okay, yeah. And so I know a lot of backers who brought premiere tickets are going to be there. Some of Rushi's going to be there. And I'm sure you'll see a lot of us tweeting about it. I'm excited because I haven't seen it since we were working on the edit. Yeah.

But the edit that we did had all of our visual effects that we used for temp. So like every time the laser would fire, we just kind of used different. So we had this one for the shield we used. We found a bath bead. Okay. It didn't make sense a you know like a bath bomb. Yeah, yeah like a little bead and so To like show like oh here's a shield here's a laser and we so just like this little ball like think a marble just shooting out of the thing everywhere So it's like it's very like low-. And like, seeing it this week is like, oh, this is like the real thing. Are you excited to like actually see all come together?

Yeah. Yeah. Well, because it's like, yeah, it's a, we've seen like, very excited. I'm just like super proud of like everybody like Matt Burney, you guys, Michael Gavin. It's kind of crazy when you think about it. You're like, we have a movie from your movie on Thursday at Fantastic West. At Fantastic West. Yeah, which is like an incredible festival here in Austin. I should probably not word jeans. Yeah, I don't know what like, what do you wear to a movie premiere? I don't know. Well, here's here's the things that we've been discussing this because at this moment,

none of us know what to wear. Chris, right Chris. Help us out. You're the fashionista of the Chris. You tell us how many years we don't want to go like off. Let's go shopping. You're such a Samantha Chris. Let's go.

I have time to go like off-screen with ball gowns. You're just a man at the Chris. Let's pass. We're gonna have time to go off-scrolls, ball gowns. At this point, I figure if we do dresses, we're doing good, right? Yeah, like a thing in like cocktail dresses. I'm gonna leave you Gaga in and wear a meat dress. It's cool. It's cool with that.

So basically, you are the orders. Yes, you can eat off of me, that's cool. Yes, I love nuts. And then one more thing I want to make sure that we bring up before we end the podcast is also, we're looking for audience members for Colton Dunn's new show RTES or Rachie Entertainment System. They're taping this Sunday September 27th. I posted a journal on the Rachie website. So you can check that out right now and pretty much it's a free taping. So if you live in Los Angeles or you're going to be funny, too. So it's LA based.

LA based, yeah. So if you're looking for a good laugh on an afternoon check it out Colton that's hilarious. He's a funny dude. He's so funny. It's gonna be awesome. So yeah check that out Yeah, all right Yeah, it's what it's what I have to say Bernie You screwed up something with Ed Hardy and Tom Hardy But you were talking about Ed Hardy I was so I was so I was super confused I thought Tom Hardy was cool. Yeah, I was like wait. I didn't know he made clothes

That's why I was like we'd he has a line of clothes the reason I was confused is because I guess Ryan's secrets Has a line of like button down shirts and stuff now. So I was like I guess Tom Hardy does too and their weird Twitter clothes lens and I was like I didn't even think twice about it. I'm just like yeah, I thought twice about it But I was like I don't even think twice about it. I'm just like yeah, I thought twice about it, but I was like I Secret Twitter Be your end of champagne next together making say crazy I saw that So many sexual deviant peopleants that was Ryan right the slide like like the slide

In this case, yeah I Yeah, yeah Technically, no, that's like saying you do lose your virginity if you did it in the butt I feel like it's more intimate. It's like that dude's face or woman is in is in your crotch. Yeah, you put somebody in you, okay? No, but the butt is More easy. Okay, let's let's let's yes. Yes. Go on Chris. Yeah, but go ahead. All right. I'm in the Bernie share. Go ahead so

The all right oral is like I really don't want to say this for the post show. Should we talk about the post show? Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay. I think I think this can be a serious discussion. We'll talk about the butt in a moment. All right, well, thank you guys so much for watching the podcast. Long story short, Tom Hardy, fine, Ed Hardy, not fine. Okay, cool. Well, thank you guys for watching. We'll see you on Tuesday for Sports Ball at 5 p.m. Central Wednesday at 4 o'clock for the patch. Thursday for the return of on the spot is at 4 o'clock this week because of laser team

premiering that night. And I think that's all for this week and we'll see you next Monday for the podcast as well. Cool. Are you? When I was younger I totally do wear it at hearty. Love you. Do you like apples? All right, example. Together in Trempathos, Characombs, Characombs are free to deal with nothing to do with this podcast. Analyze various unsolved and rooster-teeths cryptic podcast, f*** face. Call to action.

Feel free to add something show premise specific, but short. Listen to show name on Apple Spotify or wherever you get podcasts. It's f*** face, a podcast. Subscribe or no. You do yes?